#is just an anxiety episode waiting to happen lol

[kobabeach]

in an ideal world i'd work more in gay, fetish and porn art to expand my "fanbase" or whatever but sadly i have trauma and social anxiety and autism

[meownotgood]

i have so many thoughts about arcane but I'm so tired because it's 5 in the morning and I'm starving because i didn't eat and my brain is functioning at about 2% and all of my insides feel like mush.

[sapphiclizziebennet]

i don't know how to describe coming out of a sort of dissociative state as anything other than coming back from the bad place. or returning to the land of the living.

[mattmonss]

Click for better quality

Okay, so, I really liked the new episode, I liked the dynamics of the adventures outside the circus, and I can't wait to see more. Now, I'm really drawn to the interactions Ragatha had with Pomni; she's been quite distant from her. They've been carrying this tension since the last chapter, it's been a chapter and a half like this.

Which is completely understandable, to be honest. Pomni literally just spawned, and she's been through soooooo much. Out of nowhere, she appeared in a place she has no freaking clue where it is, and she's forced to interact with new people. She knows abt abstraction in a VERY bad way. She found the possible way out, but failed. Now she has to go on adventures she doesn't want to, and then they use her as a rope, lol, and when she thought she met a new friend who would support her, Caine exploded Gummigoo in her face. AND THAT'S JUST IN 2 DAYS.

Pomni is more justified of feeling fear and anxiety about everything around her.

Now, Ragatha tries to help Pomni to get used to the circus, but aaaaall these crap haven't helped her much. Worse, when it happened that Pomni had abandoned Ragatha . Who's clearly suppressing the pain she felt to avoid discomforting Pomni. And in the end of the day, she genuily believes Pomni doesn't liker her.

And AAAHHH There's so much potential in this dynamic, and I wanted to explore it a bit more. Pomni gradually accepting that these people do want to help her, and Ragatha being patient with Pomni as she adjusts at her own pace. (Thanks Kinger c':)

And Jax, well haha, Jax proving he's a selfish jerk again, but we got the little hint that very very deep down, he does care about the gang. So in his attempt of teasing Ragatha, he completely fails, and hates seeing her this numb.

I'd like to make another comic abt his feelings abt Kaufmo's funeral and why not, featuring Ragatha.

And that's all my thoughts. I haven't used this comic format in years, I'm used to the storyboard format, so if you find the comic a bit disorienting, that's why :')

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Hi can I request a oneshot with the team x someone's daughter (idm who) who has POTS and has a bad POTS episode (not fainting tho) and just them helping or smt like that?

BAU team X POTS Teen Reader

Request: Hi can I request a oneshot with the team x someone's daughter (idm who) who has POTS and has a bad POTS episode (not fainting tho) and just them helping or smt like that?

I don't have POTS so I've done research and using the NHS website to help lol

The team are interviewing a teenager who witnessed the unsub kidnapping his next victim who the BAU were chasing, the teen has a pots episode.

Third person pov...

It had been a sunny day, in Louisiana

Y/N L/N was on their way home from a day out with friends, as they walked they routinely took breaks as to not have a POTS episode.

On one break they stood under a shaded area drinking some water, as they did they spotted a man dragging a young girl a couple years younger than they were, they watched as the girl struggled in the man's grip.

She and Y/N made eye contact, the desperation in her eyes made Y/N realise she was being kidnapped, they watched as the man forced the young girl into a white van, they stayed hidden.

After that happened they called the police.

Hours later the FBI show up at Y/Ns house, after reassuring their parents the teen was taken in for questioning about what they saw and if they could help them.

The interrogation room was warm, far to warm for Y/Ns liking, they of course knew it was hot outside but inside was unbearable.

Also they forgot to ask for some water, because of their condition the teen had to keep themselves from becoming to hot and to drink enough fluids otherwise they would faint.

As they sit in the room waiting for the agents to come in they begin taking off their button up shirt they had worn over the top of their tank top.

Soon two agents entered the room where Y/N was waiting, they could see the fear and anxiety in the teen eyes. Their hands were shaking and was fidgeting in their chair.

Morgan and Rossi took the lead in the interview, while the rest of the team observed from the other side of the two-way mirror.

"Now Y/N can you tell us what you saw?' Rossi asked gently, trying to make the teenager feel comfortable.

Y/N took a deep breath and began to recount their experience. They had been walking home from hanging out with friends, when he saw the unsub forcing a young girl into his van.

The H/C teen had immediately called the police but stayed hidden, watching the whole ordeal unfold. They manages to describe the unsub in great detail, from the way he looked to the van and the girl he took.

The team was impressed by the teens bravery and their attention to detail. But suddenly, their eyes screwed up in pain and began grabbing their chest.

Fanning themselves pulling the tank top away from their heated skin. The team were shocked not knowing what was happening to the teen.

Rossi and Derek were quick to the teens side. "Episode" mutters the teen slouching forward, this made Derek leap to catch the teen.

"Whoa there" he catches the teen, gently tapping their face to keep them awake. "Water they need fluid" Yelled Spencer, he had recognise the symptoms of POTS when the teen started fanning themselves during their explanation.

"And call and ambulance!" JJ nods her head as she begins calling for an ambulance.

Hotch then runs off for a bottle of water, as he came back he thew it to Rossi who grabbed it and began opening it for Y/N, he then knelt doen next to the teen.

" Ragazzino (kiddo), come on I need you to drink this for me" he coaxed the teen gently as Derek lifted their head to be able to drink the offered drink.

Y/N begins drinking the water, which helped, they needed lots of fluids during an episode. Spencer then walks into the room. "Ambulance is 5 minutes out, I've read up of POTS we should help them stand up and walk around slowly" explains the Genius.

Derek and Rossi look at each other before nodding. "Okay let's get them up" "on 3. 1..2..3.." together they help Y/N stand up.

Holding them up they trio begin walking slowly around the room to get Y/N moving to help the teens flare up, as they did this the ambulance finally arrived.

Y/N was then taken to hospital, Hotch called their Mum to meet them there, the team all pile into the two black SUVs, all wanting to make sure the teen was okay.

The next day, Y/N is back at the police station, their episode wasn't dangerous one, they had probably overexertered themselves yesterday after watching the kidnapping.

As they walk around they find the FBI agents that took so much care of them, their Mother had insisted on bringing them all home made cookies to thank them.

The teen knocked on the door to the conference room the team was using, everyone was there, Rossi and Derek were surprised to see the teen up and looking healthy again.

"Hey everyone" they wave to the team, the teen walked in holding out the box of cookies. "Thank you for helping me yesterday, Mum made cookies as thanks" they explained opening the box.

The team were shocked, they all reached into the box and grabbed a cookie each, Y/N watched as their faces all lit up at the taste. "Thank you and thank you to your Mother for the cookies" Hotch tells the teen.

Y/N gives them a huge smile. "Also I'm here to help you more, I remembered a few more things, when I have an episode I get brain fog and forgot a few pieces of information" they explained, soon the teen was sat at the table with the team.

The ac on high with a bottle of cold water infront of them. Y/N began telling the agents what they remembered, thanks to their memory they were able to catch the Unsub before he could grab another Victim.

The end!

Hope you liked this oneshot, sorry for the wait I've had the worse cold literally all weekend felt like I was dying, finally feeling better again so here is a oneshot for you.

Sorry for any grammar and Spelling mistakes.

Requests are open!

Word count: 1100

[nikibogwater]

Everybody sit down and strap in, 'cause I have a doozy of a tale to share.

I've had anxiety for literally as long as I can remember. I've had periods of my life where it was so intense it became legitimately life-threatening (don't worry I promise this is going somewhere funny). And this was really bizarre because I have zero childhood trauma. Like, my family life is so idyllic it's almost comical. Therapists would do abuse screenings on me and look utterly baffled when I told them everything was fine at home. They'd interrogate my parents just to make sure I wasn't lying. I have one friend who I'm fairly sure believed I was just severely gaslighting myself when I said my family was great, school wasn't too stressful, and I've never lived in a dangerous neighborhood or experienced poverty.

Anyways, despite no one being able to figure out where my disorder was coming from, my doctors were able to help me manage the symptoms so that I would like, not die, and actually be able to finish high school. Which was awesome. Now fast forward to late 2021. My big sister (who has also had intense anxiety her whole life which no one could figure out why) is finishing up her doctorate and getting her physical therapist's license. Somehow, during all her studying and schooling, she finds out about this thing called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which explains literally everything that was going on with us. EDS is a connective tissue disorder that kinda fudges up your body in a whole bunch of little ways, including dysautonomia (episodes of very fast heart-rate that kick your body into fight-or-flight mode), and hypermobility (unusual flexibility). It's a spectrum disorder, so the severity of symptoms vary from person to person, but we definitely checked almost every box on the diagnostic list. My sister went to see a specialist, and yep, she was diagnosed EDS positive. She immediately calls my mom and goes "I know what's wrong with Niki" (thanks, sis, that's real encouraging lol). Initially we're like "okay Katie, that's nice" because honestly this kind of sounds like jumping at shadows, but I go in to see the specialist anyways just to make sure.

One consultation and diagnosis later, and suddenly my entire life makes perfect sense.

Now we get to the funny part. See, the diagnosis stuff happened in early 2022. So by the time late 2023 comes around and we're looking for a new dog (I promise this is relevant), we've been riding that chronic illness diagnosis for a while. Once again, my sister, ever the proactive one, decides she's going to help us get a new dog. She scours the adoption website, sends us photos of the cutest dogs available, and helps us make a decision. This is how we got Beverly, who has been an unstoppable force of chaos in our lives ever since we signed the papers (but she's also really cute so she can get away with it). Now on top of being a very excitable and anxious pupper, Beverly's got a weird little gimp in her hindquarters, which makes her sit all splayed-out and funny-looking, and while it doesn't seem to be causing her pain, we take her to a vet to get it checked out. Vet finds absolutely nothing. X-rays are taken and examined. Still nothing. At this point, they go "well, we could try a CT scan of her brain, which would run about $5,000, and maybe we could find something--" but my parents are already packing this dog into the car like "well that is a HARD nope." So we decide, look, Beverly seems happy and healthy, and those gimpy legs don't seem to bother her, so we'll just leave it be until it becomes clearer what's wrong with her because we do NOT have a cool $5,000 to throw around here.

Readers more astute than my family and I will likely have already figured out where this is going.

This morning, my mom is looking at Beverly sitting in her funny sprawled-out way, and something in her brain goes "wait...weird physical symptoms with no tracible cause that vets can see..." She does a bit of googling. Can dogs have EDS/Hypermobility? Yes. Yes they can. And the listed symptoms describe Beverly to a T.

So not only is my sister the one to finally figure out what's wrong with me, she also unknowingly got us a dog who has the exact same chronic condition as us. Meanwhile my poor dad, who is the only Normal Person in our house, is coming to terms with the fact that he is apparently just fated to always love chronically ill people and animals, and there's absolutely nothing he can do about it.

[blindmagdalena]

thoughts on ep 4?

ohhhh man this is gonna be really long and disjointed because i just finished the episode. i'm just gonna be focused on the homelander stuff here bc i feel like that's what we're all here for lol

the energy he brought to that whole situation gave me the most intense anxiety. i feel like not even he was entirely sure how all of that was going to go down, but as soon as he was there, all these memories that he had repressed started flooding to the surface. obviously his relationship with Ryan is causing a lot of his trauma to come to the forefront, and this is the culmination of that.

i think what caught me the most off guard was how run down the place looked. a concrete basement with shoddy computers and post-its everywhere. a bunch of techs. it was so small, and yet it's like homelander said. it was a lot bigger when he was a child.

it was their day job. it was his whole world.

that very first moment when Marty calls him John, and he corrects "Homelander," in that boyish voice, i almost burst into tears.

the moment where he's staring at the incinerator made me feel ill for him. i already knew what was coming, and it didn't disappoint.

"I had nightmares about that exact moment, and you can't even remember it."

i had chills throughout this entire scene. it was such a succinct way to lay out how dehumanized he was his entire life. that so many people stood by and were so desensitized to his torture. they tuned out his screams entirely and played little games to pass the time. all while he watched.

this time, when Marty calls him John, there's no quiver in his voice. "Homelander," he corrects firmly, smile tight and closed. direct eye contact, waiting for a challenge. but they won't. he knows no one will stop him. not just because they can't... but because they simply won't. they wouldn't save a child. why would they save Frank?

"You're sorry? Now?"

this whole scene is such an interesting parallel to his conversation with Vogelbaum in s1, where he asks, "You want forgiveness? Now?"

something he rightfully denied Vogelbaum. in this instance, however, we see Homelander enacting his vengeance and giving that forgiveness... but only once they're dead. only once they'd paid his price. once they've suffered as he did. I forgive you.

the only time anyone expresses remorse for what they've done to him is when they're faced with it. when the regret eats away at them not for the harm they caused, but the damage done to the world, or to their own safety.

immediately following that, we see him call Marty over and not just apologize, but very specifically he asks, "Can you forgive me?"

it's perfect foreshadowing for what he's about to do to him. can he forgive the same thing Homelander is about to?

the scene that follows is so profoundly uncomfortable i had a lot of trouble watching. the reality of Homelander's life and teenage years is something that we as a fandom have always been very cognizant of, but seeing it addressed so plainly on screen was both nightmarish and vindicating.

i remember being really squicked out by his comment regarding Ryan getting Zoe pregnant, but it makes total sense that raising Ryan is bringing a lot of his own childhood sexual trauma to the surface. there's SO MUCH to be addressed here that it could be it's own post. but what's great is when Homelander calls an end to it: it's the moment Marty says he's sorry.

"I forgive you, Marty."

this is all about Homelander accepting what happened to him. facing it and the people who were part of it head on.

speaking of...

BARBARA. i know she's public enemy #1 right now, and rightfully so, but i found her so profoundly interesting. did she know Homelander was there? she didn't seem surprised at all. why would she come without backup? how did they even contact her with everything shut down? i don't know, but whatever the case, i really got the impression she already knew what she was walking into. she made a real attempt to get Homelander away from the other scientists, but he wasn't going to be swayed. they were already doomed.

she antagonized him. They were just doing what I told them. It's not their fault. It's mine. Leave them alone.

it's very apparent to me that among his fractured personalities, she represents the kinder motherly one. she, like Stan Edgar and Vogelbaum, are elevated above the other scientists. she's a figure of authority and she spoke to him as such.

"They were scared."

"I was a child."

"They were scared!"

and he does recoil at that. we KNOW Homelander hates being feared. it was his trigger with Madelyn, it's what kept him from lasering that crowd, and it's a blatant, desperate lie when he says to Starlight, "...being feared is a-one okie doke by me."

"Everyone was terrified of you from your first breath."

she breaks his heart a hundred times in this scene. from the reveal that he killed his mother in the same way Vogelbaum told him his son did—the source of that lie?—to the statement that their greatest success was making him obedient by withholding love. by turning his heart into a pit of need.

a sharp juxtaposition to Vogelbaum's You're my greatest failure.

and then she says to him no matter what you do, you will always be human.

here's the thing about Homelander's humanity. he doesn't associate it with kindness or love. he associates humanity with all the worst things that have ever happened to him. cruelty. selfishness. betrayal. his entire life he's been used and abused by the people who were supposed to protect him.

of course he doesn't want to be human. doesn't want his SON to be human. look at what humans have done to him. they're vile, they're vicious, they're dirty.

in another life, that desire could have been his drive to be good. if he'd only had a single fucking example of it.

"I'm not human. And neither is my son. And I'm gonna raise him so that he knows it."

in other words, he'll raise his son the way they failed to raise him. Homelander wants desperately to raise his son with the love he never had. he just doesn't know how to.

ultimately, like Vogelbaum and Stan, Homelander can't bring himself to kill her. he tears apart the people she tried to save, and he leaves her to stew in her own fucking mess.

[warabidakihime]

★ characters: levi ackerman x reader | modern au

★ plot summary: levi helps you get through an episode

★ content warnings : implied su!cidal ideations, talks about mental illness (panic attacks, anxiety, and depression).

★ a/n: just a lil something i wrote out of sheer indulgence cause i am going through it ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა . so i guess you could say this is true to life and the only difference is, i don't have a levi by myself doing all these for me LOL. BUT YEAH, i hope you like this one and i hope it could help other people who might be going through the same thing.

sending everybody hugs!

-

Title: Until When Do I Need to Run?

"What if I'm too tired by the time I reach the 'pinnacle' of my life?"

Your voice sounded soft and vulnerable as you let those words slip through your lips.

Normally, you wouldn't let these kinds of thoughts escape the confines of your mind, but today, your heart was desperately screaming for any semblance of salvation.

Anything that could shed light on your ever-gloomy world.

From the dining table where your boyfriend sat, enjoying his freshly brewed jasmine tea after dinner, Levi raised an eyebrow in your direction. "What?"

You were at the sink, washing the dishes, as it was your turn this week. You chuckled humorlessly as you rinsed a plate rather mindlessly. "It's nothing. I was just thinking out loud."

"And thinking ridiculous things too," Levi said, his voice louder than usual. It didn't occur to you that he had moved until you were spun around, facing him. He was already behind you while you were racking your brains for a response.

"What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" His frown was deep, his gray eyes piercing. Despite being shorter, his presence loomed over you.

Reaching for the kitchen towel to dry your hands, you stayed mute for a few minutes in an attempt to gather your thoughts.

"Work has just been... rough lately, and the stress is getting to me. But today was especially hard," you started. You were speaking slowly, trying to articulate your words as best as you could.

It was something your therapist had taught you years ago. Because of the things you went through growing up and the trauma you'd accumulated, you'd unfortunately lost your ability to speak coherently at times, almost to the point of being considered a person with a disability.

Having such a handicap was frustrating and humiliating, to say the least. It angered you when you couldn't get the right words out or when your mind went blank mid-sentence, rendering you temporarily mute.

Thankfully, you had Levi. He'd been your boyfriend for eight years, and since you got together, life wasn't as draining as it once was. You couldn't be more grateful to him. The two of you had met while you were on a coffee run at work. He was behind you in line, and when your card was unfortunately declined and you didn't have cash on you, you almost had an anxiety attack.

In his own way of displaying kindness, Levi scoffed from behind you and handed the cashier his card to pay for both your orders.

"If you don't want to go through something like that again, make sure you have cash on you, dumbass."

And the rest was history.

You went quiet again, and while Levi waited patiently, he took your hand, gave it a loving squeeze, and led you to the living room so that you could sit and talk comfortably.

Once you were settled, you took a deep breath, which sounded shaky as it escaped your lips. Your emotions were clearly piling up inside, and it was just a matter of when they would burst.

"Steady your breathing first, Y/N," Levi said as he rubbed your back gently, doing his best to comfort you while you grounded yourself. "Take your time."

Smiling sheepishly at him, you did as told, and then finally, you continued to confide in him.

"Nothing major happened, but work has been really hectic recently due to the amount of things we need to do, and it doesn't help that my team is severely understaffed. So, I guess the fatigue and stress have been piling up, and it's getting to me."

Levi noticed the tension in your shoulders and the way your hands were trembling slightly. He reached out and gently massaged your temples, his touch soothing.

"Any word on that incompetent manager of yours? They're looking for a replacement, right?" Levi asked, his voice tinged with annoyance. He knew the lore of what was happening at your workplace, and to say that he was pissed was an understatement.

Not only were you neglected by your immediate supervisor, but you also had to catch up and do his workload while still getting paid less than him. The whole thing was a mess, and to be completely honest, Levi was on edge, worried for your well-being. It sucked that his worst fears were manifesting.

"They're doing the best they can, so I'm just waiting patiently on that."

Levi let out a 'tsk' and rolled his eyes, clearly more annoyed for you. The gesture caused you to giggle a little.

"And to sum it all up, the whole thing kind of shoved me into another episode, and I started to overthink things again." You said with a pout, then continued, "I started to think of negative things again, like the fact I literally have to work like a horse just so I can survive for another two weeks. From that, I started to get dizzy because it dawned on me that it would literally take me years to succeed. And then I thought, what if by the time I reach the most successful point of my life, I'm too tired to celebrate or to even continue living because that's what I've been striving to achieve for so long, and that's where I've been pouring all my energy—"

"Okay, stop. Stop right there," Levi interrupted, his voice firm. He let out a frustrated sigh and pulled you closer, taking your hands in his. "You're spiraling, Y/N. You're making a mountain out of a molehill. We're going to tackle this together, one step at a time. Right now, you need to breathe and relax."

His gray eyes held a stern yet caring expression. "Focus on the now, Y/N. We deal with problems as they come. I'm here. I'll be your anchor, but you have to let go of the rope a little."

You looked into his eyes, feeling the weight of his words. Levi had always been your rock—the one who grounded you when your mind spiraled. You knew he was right, and his presence always brought you back to reality.

As you sat there, hand in hand, you felt a sense of calm wash over you.

"Thank you, Levi," you whispered, leaning in to rest your head on his shoulder.

Levi noticed the shift in your demeanor. He squeezed your hand reassuringly, his other hand coming up to stroke your hair gently.

"You know, Y/N," he started softly, his voice a stark contrast to his earlier firmness. "You're incredibly strong. You've faced challenges I couldn't imagine, and you’ve come out stronger for it. But even the strongest people need to recharge."

He paused, giving you a moment to absorb his words. "It's okay to not be okay sometimes. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. What matters is how you deal with it. And right now, you're dealing with it by talking to me instead of keeping all that to yourself, and you've also been really consistent with it, which is a huge step. Good job."

Levi squeezed your hand gently again. "We'll figure this out together. Maybe we can start by setting some boundaries at work. Or maybe we can find some ways to de-stress outside of work. We can try new hobbies, or just spend more quality time together."

You felt a lump form in your throat as you listened to Levi's words. Just him being there for you brought so much warmth; it's as if he's hugging you from within.

At that moment, you realized how lucky you were to have him in your life.

You looked up at him, your eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability. His words, spoken with such gentle sincerity, had a profound effect on you. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You realized how much you had been bottling up and how much you had been neglecting your own well-being.

"Thank you," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "Thank you for always being here for me. I don't know what I would do without you."

Levi smiled softly, reaching up to brush away a stray tear that had escaped your eye. "You don't have to figure it out alone, Y/N. And never, ever hesitate to reach out to me. I am the last person that would push you away."

A comfortable silence settled between you as you both took a moment to appreciate the connection. The soft glow of the living room lamp casts a warm ambiance, creating an intimate atmosphere.

"I know I've been a bit of a downer lately," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. "I hate that I let this get to me. I hate that I'm becoming this person who's always stressed and overwhelmed."

Levi squeezed your hand tighter.

"You're not this person, Y/N. You're going through a tough time, and that's okay."

You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. It was comforting to know that you had someone who understood and supported you unconditionally.

The conversation continued, flowing naturally as you shared your fears and worries with Levi. He listened patiently, offering words of encouragement and practical advice. You felt a sense of peace as you opened up to him, something you hadn't done in a long time.

Hours seemed to fly by as you talked. The initial darkness outside had given way to the soft hues of dawn. Levi's grip on your hand never loosened, his presence a constant source of comfort.

Eventually, the weight of exhaustion began to creep in. You yawned, your eyes heavy with sleep. Levi noticed and smiled gently.

"It's late, Y/N," he said softly. "Let's head to bed."

You nodded, your head leaning against his shoulder. "Mkay. Thank you, Levi."

Levi kissed the top of your head. "You're welcome. We'll talk more about this tomorrow if you want, alright?" 

You nodded, a sheepish smile on your face. "Okay."

He stood up and stretched, a yawn escaping his lips. "I'll get us some water."

You watched as Levi moved toward the kitchen, feeling exponentially better, all thanks to him. When he returned with two glasses of water, he handed you one and sat back down beside you.

"Drink up," he said, his voice soft but firm.

You took a sip, feeling the cool liquid soothe your throat. After finishing the water, you placed the glass on the coffee table and turned to Levi.

"Thank you, Levi, for everything," you said, your voice full of sincerity.

He gave you a small smile, his eyes reflecting his affection for you. "Always, Y/N."

Setting his glass aside, Levi suddenly cupped your face with his hands, his touch gentle yet commanding. He leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was more passionate and eager than usual. His kiss conveyed all the love, support, and reassurance he wanted to give you, grounding you in the moment.

You responded in kind, your arms wrapping around his neck as you melted into the kiss. The intensity of the moment made your worries fade away, replaced by the warmth and love radiating from Levi. He pulled you closer, deepening the kiss, his hands moving to your waist, holding you securely.

When you finally pulled away for air, you rested your forehead against his, your breaths mingling. Levi's eyes were soft but intense, filled with a promise of unwavering support.

"You're not alone, Y/N," he whispered, his voice husky with emotion. "I love you, and I'll always be here for you."

Tears of gratitude filled your eyes as you looked at him. "I love you too, Levi."

With that, he took your hand and led you to the bedroom. You both settled into bed, the weight of the day's worries feeling lighter. As you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you felt a sense of peace and security that only Levi could provide.

"Goodnight, Y/N," Levi murmured, his breath warm against your ear.

"Goodnight, Levi," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

The room fell into a serene silence, only your steady breathing filling the space. Levi’s arms around you felt like a shield against the world’s troubles, and the steady beat of his heart was a comforting rhythm that lulled you into relaxation.

As sleep began to pull you under, you felt a tender kiss pressed to your forehead while Levi’s fingers lightly traced soothing patterns on your back—his way of reminding you that he was always there, ready to lift the burdens you carried.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

It's the penultimate episode... so many feelings. *wistful sigh*

Wait, the Matt Mick thing is actually happening? Lolol.

BUT WHO IS GOING TO KISS BEER?!?! Boy is doomed to keep being the witness to all these gay shenanigans, he needs his own boyfie! Papang, still time for a cameo...

Q, you are turning into quite the smooth romantic...

I love that they tease Q about having a romantic moment when both Chain & Mick are keeping a constant hand on their boys, and Tan literally can't stand upright without holding onto Fang.

Six minutes in and I'm already dying.

Also Poon, Satang, & Boom living the dream, getting to feed cute little penguins for work.

Omg, Chain! You need to walk up to him and say "I like you!". (Also yes, I acknowledge as an American I have a strong bias on what counts as direct communication, lol. But the point still stands that Pun needs it right in his face to get it).

But also, please, yes, do a penguin dowry.

Also, it is funny to me that Tan, who has been pretty oblivious to every other couple's feelings, has picked up on Chain. Which shows how everyone knows but Pun.

I know I've said this pretty much every time, but I just adore how this show keeps showing that they are all friends with each other, it's never just about the couples.

Aw, Pun asking for snugs. Ooh - is Pun actually starting to get it?

Q literally can't see anything else when Toey is around, my heart.

You know, I think Toey still doesn't quite grasp how deeply Q loves him... it was one-sided for so long, he's still catching up on what it feels like to be cared for back. Don't worry boo, you'll get there.

Ok, was not expecting this! But I am here for it!

I also have to point out, in my obsession with what this show is doing with tropes, that Toey is the closest we get to a blushing maiden in this show, and he may be shy and inexperienced, but he still gets to enjoy sex. Excellent.

Lol, Phum does not have to be told twice he has a green light. Dude has been waiting since day one for this.

Gotta say though, the TanFang scene was still the hottest. AouBoom are so ready to be leads.

I love that Fang 100% knew Tan would come find him and demand kisses.

Lol, it's handy being friends with your boyfriends brother, you can get the intel.

Why does Pond holding a teddy bear always make me so weak?

Oh god, not the sad puppy noises.

I love that the most implausible part of this plan is Tan not being free for Fang.

Phum is so happy, I'm going to cry.

Lol, of course Beer already gave him a gift, he is the one who is always ahead of everyone else!

Swoon. Just swoon.

I love how they are communicating about Peem going to meet Phum's family. It's so lovely to have a couple who actually talk about things.

And this!

I know there will be people in the tags flipping out if Phum forgives his dad, but this is his story and his journey. It's not about if it resonates with every viewer, it's about Phum figuring out what he needs to move on with his life, whether that includes forgiveness or not.

Another stellar costume choice.

Also Tan making Fang wear pink, lol. He's going to show that love dammit!

Omg, not the whole group waiting for Pun to admit he likes Chain.

Good boy Chain! Love the confidence!

Perfect use of the festival to show how the love in this entire group has just expanded and deepened over the past year.

Gotta admit, I had some penultimate episode anxiety, but nope! Still fluffy!

[svtminji]

EP. 14 Relationships Aren’t Built To Last | SEVENTEEN : HIT THE ROAD

pairings. seventeen x oc word count. 2.8k content warnings. family stuff, mentions of johnny like thrice, ankle twisting, mention of seungcheol anxiety hitaus, a slight hint of mizuki's depression, knetz (japan new era-sana situation), joshua and mizuki's moms being bffs, mizuki's self-doubt, comfort tbh, angst.. dialouge notes. 'normal' = korean, 'italic' = japanese, 'bold' = english, 'bold-italic' = spanish an. enjoy this three hour written htr episode lol..

The female member sighed as she continued to get ready. All of these years of performing on stage and not a single memory would comfort her in this time of need.

"What if I missed a step in the choreography, what if I mess up the vocal pitch, what if I twist my ankle, what if-"

"Minji, we need you to start putting on your mic pack and your jacket." A distant voice disrupted her thoughts. She turned around and saw her long-term stylist trying to rush her into getting ready.

"Sorry, I'm just.. just distracted."

"There's no need to be distracted if you're going to perform for your fans. You need to put your best version of yourself no matter what, and being distracted is not an excuse."

"I know that, but I-"

"Minji, you need to get ready. Your members are waiting for you." The female stylist argued and ended the discussion.

Right. The staff weren't family no matter what, even if you spend years together with them.

͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏⠀⠀⠀ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏⠀⠀⠀͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏⠀⠀⠀ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏hit the road - intro

͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏ ͏͏͏͏͏͏⠀⠀⠀episode fourteen - Relationships Aren’t Built To Last

— “Osaka is a place of comfort for me. It’s a place where I can see myself spending time with my loved ones. But with the events that played out, I can't see it as that anymore.”

🫧 𓇼 ೀ OSAKA, JAPAN. - 10.2019

The camera cuts to Mizuki staring at her members. Everything during this stop wasn’t going right, and it was evident on everyone’s faces. She didn’t want to appear weak, but the cameras caught her face in a demise. The female member was going through something that was eating her alive, her love for her then-boyfriend. It was reasonable that she would eventually have to call it quits but so early into the tour? Not only was that consuming her but the extra pressure she put on herself. She needed a break, or she just needed to break down her walls.

The camera goes from Mizuki to Seungkwan, who’s having a bit of a concern for her.

“Hey Minji, are you doing well? I��m sure you’re excited to be in your home country, right?” He asked, knowing the answer that’ll come out of her lips.

“Huh..? Oh, I’m doing well. I think I’ll have a few problems but it’s not something I haven’t experienced at all before. I really missed Osaka, it’s very important for me.” Mizuki replied, though it didn’t sit right with the rest of the members around her. She was in a sitting stance that showed defensiveness, and not-ready-to-share vulnerability.

They all knew she wasn’t ready mentally to go out and perform like she did in Seoul. She was still together with Johnny during that time, and this was her first concert without him. When they had the countries and cities listed for the Ode To You Tour, she recalled the time she had brought her special person to Osaka.

— “I don’t like to appear weak. It’s something I never allowed myself to show, but I also have feelings. Now that it has been months from ending it with Johnny, I have been better and I would like to think that having support from my members and our fans made it happen.” Mizuki said to the camera and stopped for a bit, “I don’t want to make this about him, but he is someone who’s been by my side for a long time, even before Seventeen. I think people wouldn't want me to talk about him, so I’ll just end this talk for now.”

🫧 𓇼 ೀ OSAKA, JAPAN. - 10.2019

"Whenever I have the time to come home, I always think about my family. I had the chance to fly out my parents from the States, and I'm getting a little nervous. Because I have diverse parents, I don't get the chance to see them all the time and I think that's what the foreign members and I have in common." She told the camera with a slight smile. It was the truth and she had to realize it one way or another. It was 5 hours before the concert, and she sat on the couch figuring what to do to pass time.

By the looks of it, Mizuki was really excited to showcase what she was working on to her parents. Being an idol wasn't the easiest job and being away from home was even harder. At least she had family in Japan, but it wasn't the same without her parents there with them.

– "Mizuki really kept to herself for most of the tour. We had talked about how it was going for her, but she didn't mention any of her actual feelings about the situation she was in." Seungcheol mentions, reminiscing about the tour, "She works hard, and when her parents couldn't make it to Japan, it really took a toll on her."

The video cuts to the cameraman focusing the camera on the worried Seungcheol. He had his phone by his ear and he scanned the room for the female member. With the call ending, he pulled it away from his ear and went up to Mizuki. Seungcheol told her to come with him, and he pulled her aside from the rest of the members. To the viewers, it was evident that Mizuki's parents couldn't make it, but to the members, it was worrisome. The leader and co-leader (with the cameraman as well but distant) were outside of the waiting room. Seungcheol didn't know how to start and the way Mizuki was staring at him, she wanted to know what was going on.

"You said your parents were coming, right?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I paid for their tickets and luggage. Why is this anything important?"

He looked at her and held her by her shoulders. "Your mom called me, and with her level of Korean, she told me that they can't make it to Osaka."

As soon as he stopped talking, he watched the gears work in Mizuki's head. She spoke in a timid voice, "Not even to the rest of the Japanese tour?"

He shook his head, "They can't make it to Japan. She told me that they have too much going on at the moment and they wanted me to tell you because they know how you'll react to the news."

Mizuki just looked at the floor and kept her gaze there. Many thoughts ran threw her head but only one question came up: Why? Why couldn't they make it? Did they not care? Was she not worthy to be seen? Did they not lo-

"Hey," Seungcheol lifted her chin so she could face him, "I'm sure they'll explain it to you soon enough. Don't forget we're having the LA stop, so you can see them there as well."

Though she nodded at his words, she couldn't help but let out the tears. Sensing that this would happen, he pulled her into his embrace, letting her cry out as much as she wanted. All words that was exchanged were comforting, and that was all Mizuki needed to hear.

– "Do you usually cry?" — "To be honest, I'm quite a crybaby when I do get extremely emotional. My mom giving Seungcheol the information first was probably the best idea because I don't think I would've told my members about the situation. So, thanks, Mom."

🫧 𓇼 ೀ JAPANESE TOUR - 10.2019

Other than the unfortunate incidents with Chan getting sick and Mizuki's parents not being able to come, the Japanese tour went well. But of course, the feeling of being well breaks soon after. There were times that she felt like she wasn't doing the best at protecting her members or even looking after them. Of course she had to worry about herself first, but there was always a feeling of incomptence.

She would never say it out loud, or even to her members, but she felt like she was useless at times. During the Japanese stops, Mizuki spent her time translating and helping out the members in Japanese. With the events that had played out early 2019 about the new Japanese Era, she felt like she couldn't express herself in her mother tongue. At the Chiba stop, she expressed her worries:

"When I had posted something about Japan's new era, I was not in the best state. As much as I don't let hurtful words affect me, in a way, they still do. I'm thankful to even be here with my members and I hope everything can go well in the future."

🫧 𓇼 ೀ NORTH AMERICA - 01.2020

The stops during the first two weeks of January went fine. Mizuki was put up the the co-leader role because Seungcheol had taken a break for his anxiety. Every new stop and it had felt like every member was missing or just complete done with the tour. Touring in North America meant English interviews and that was tiring for the main English speakers of the group. There was no rest period in between the US dates, and frankly, she was tired.

— "As part of the trio of main dancers, I do get my injuries and my ankle had twisted pretty badly during Houston. I never understood why my stylist paired my outfit with heels, considering encore was pretty extreme. Though I did make it out fine and continued the rest of the tour with flat shoes."

The cameraman filmed each member getting off the stage and Mizuki was seen limping in the background. The scene cuts to another scene with an ice-pack around an ankle. Discarded heels were on the ground and a blanket was wrapped around Mizuki's lower body.

"I think I twisted my ankle when we were Aju-Niceing," Mizuki sighed at the memory, "I don't think it's pretty bad and I think my feet have gone through worse."

"You should still take it easy during these next cities. It won't benefit any of us if our second leader leaves as well." Jeonghan points out, making his way next to her to which she scoots to give him room to sit.

She paused, then she agreed. He had a point and she couldn't let down her members. Mizuki laid her head on his shoulder and focused her gaze on the resting members. The manger had entered the room and he was announcing the next stop: Mexico City. Right, how could've Mizuki forgotten her father?

"Could you pass me my phone? I should call my dad, like right now." Mizuki asked Mingyu, who happened to pass by it. He handed it to her and Mizuki started to find her father's contact.

She placed it on speaker and on the second ring, he answered. The rest of the members knew Mizuki's parental situation and they always found it interesting how she would speak in her father's native language. Though, they would be confused with their dynamic.

"Hi Dad, I just got off work like a few minutes ago."

"Ah, my Mari. How was it?"

"It went well but I'm pretty tired from all of it. How about you?"

"I've been well as well, work has been hectic but it's my job. I'm sure you understand. Mom's been great too, as well as your brother. He's been struggling with his English homework and that boy is literally fluent in it."

"Really? I'm glad that you and mom are doing well. And there's no way he's struggling at it; I'm definitley going to talk to him about it. Um- I forgot to ask, are you coming to Mexico City? I was thinking you would at least see your home country."

"I'm so sorry my mariposa. As much as I would love to go, I can't."

Mizuki sighed, it was Osaka all over again. "It's fine Dad. We have two stops in California anyways, I'm sure you and mom are going to both."

"Of course, why would I miss it when I have you so close? Don't forget your brother, he's coming as well. Alright kiddo, I'm figuring that it's close to 12 over there and considering you have a concert in two days, you need to rest."

She humed in agreeance, "The members are here incase you want to say any goodbyes. They've been listening to the converstation."

A faint laugh is heard in the background. "You decide to tell me this now? Wow. Cannot believe my own daughter. Your mom can tell them my goodbyes for me." He passed the phone to his wife. "Hi Mizuki, and hi everyone! I hope everyone had a good time at the concert. Thank you for taking care of our Mizuki and don't worry, Joshua's mom and I have prepared food for all of you guys when you arrive. Have a good night! Bye Mizuki, love you."

The beep is heard throughout the room, and everyone glances at Mizuki. She stares at her phone screen and sighs.

"At least it wasn't that bad," Soonyoung tells her which makes her look up at him, "I mean, your dad told you he's not making it to Mexico, and it's one more stop til you see your parents."

"Yeah, not to mention it seems like my mom has used a lot of her Korean to your mom. And they prepared many things for us, so let's look on the bright side." Joshua also commented on the matter.

The members agreed with what the older had said, and to their suprise, Mizuki had agreed as well. Maybe it was for the best to not look too far into it.

Mexico had gone by in a flash and the members were on their way to the Golden State, California. The home state of Mizuki and Joshua and most importantly, where both native Californians would see their family after a long time. As soon as Mizuki had arrived at her childhood home, she ran into the embrace of her parents and her brother. Luggage was forgotten, picked up by Mingyu on the way into her house, and all that was in her head was her family. Everything that had happened in the past year went away and it felt like she was finally healing.

— "When I had made it into my childhood home after a year or so, I felt like I was at peace. Obviously my past year didn't just dissolve as soon as I entered the house, but it felt like it did. Talking to my mom about what had happened was very therapeutic for me and I think having such a close relationship with my mom has really made it even better." She spoke. "I also believe it was also a good time for Joshua to bond with his parents because he had been away from them around the same time as I have. We spent the rest of the day resting and enjoying the embarssing stories."

🫧 𓇼 ೀ SOUTHEASTERN ASIA - 11.2019 & 2.2020

It was not looking too well for the members during November. Every tour stop had one or two members missing, and now with Seungcheol taking his well-deserved rest, it felt like more were gone. Mizuki stepped up to the leader role and needed to have everything in check. Sometimes she felt like she was incompent as a leader but she didn't want to show it.

– "Mizuki doesn't realize that we can see her struggling. As much as we see her struggling with her emotions, we know when to intervene and when not to." Jihoon adds, "During the time Seungcheol was gone, I feel like everyone went in some sort of panic but Mizuki really made a difference by taking the role he had. There was a change in leadership, but it wasn't so noticable."

February roles around and the third stop in Southeastern Asia comes around. Manila was always beautiful place, especially it's architecture. Spanish colonial times had an effect on the city, and Mizuki always took her time looking around for familiar tastes.

Manila was an amazing night, considering it was the last stop of the Ode To You Tour. Unfortunately with Covid-19 rising, Pledis Ent. had to cancel the two remaining stops in the Southeastern Asia tour and the European Tour.

Though none of the stops held strong importance to her, she felt bummed out on the idea that Carats couldn't see them due to the pandemic. Entry to countries was getting harder, especially coming from Asian countries. All Seventeen members were sent to South Korea days following the concert, and had strict rules placed. All Mizuki knew was that the world tour had ended, and she could finally have her peace. Or so she thought. Considering how Jihoon works in his studio, she knew there was a comeback happening soon.

— "Even when I'm at my lowest, my members are always here for me and they can always count on me to do the same for them. I started the tour as the same person I was, and I left it feeling different. Perhaps it can be for the better or for the worst."

this draft has been here for MONTHS. like as soon as i started this account. i began rewriting this fic like a few days ago and in the last two hours, i think i wrote over like 1k words :3. i rewatched hit the road after like a year or so and having to sync up events from memory onto the fic is like hard for me. this isn't like the rest of the htr episodes and i wanted it to be special. this fic mostly was based on her family stuff. so yay!!! svtminij est. 2023

[t0ast-ghost]

Watching Star Trek TOS for the first time, and here are my thoughts on episode three (Charlie “X”)! (I didn’t do episode two cause I just wanted to watch it but I love Bones)

- so far I really like the kid

- Kirk shut up, let Charlie talk

- oh no he’s frightened by the door :(((

- girls do not look THAT different, getting some bad vibes from you Charlie

- BONES!!! (Why does he stand like that, it’s so curved)

- “I want people to like me” oh god they gave this boy anxiety

- He’s learning about the patriarchy, like Ken

- Kirk making Bones tell Charlie about puberty, he looked so defeated

- SPOCKS EYESHADOW!!!

- Charlie gets a Kirk assigned father, it’s not Kirk himself but he did assign Bones to do it, can’t you see the man is tired Jim?!?

- why is she being mean to Spock in verses? Nvm this is fun and he’s enjoying her singing

- HE SLAPPED KIRKS BUTT WHAT

- “there’s no right way to hit a woman.. you know man to man.. uhh… you understand, Charlie?” That was the worst way to try and explain anything, Kirk

- “I put meatloaf in the ovens, now there’s turkeys, real turkeys” then Charlie’s little laugh

- aww they’re playing chess together, normal husband activities

- “you smell like a girl” “I feel hungry… all over” back the fuck up Charlie

- stop trying to get Bones to explain stuff to him, Kirk

- this episode is just so icky, one issue is that they can’t just have an adult conversation and they can’t explain anything properly to him, they’re just telling him no and that he’s wrong. It’s a good example of how concealing information doesn’t allow people to find their own morals but instead creates a bunch of rules which can be easily broken if the person doesn’t believe in them because they don’t understand the logic behind them. (Not saying that the boundaries they’re setting for him are wrong, he just can’t understand them because they’re not explaining shit)

- SHUT UP SAM HE’S TRYING- oops Sam’s gone

- damn that German expressionist lighting tho, like something out of metropolis

- I FUCKIN DARE YOU KIRK, PICK HIM UP SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- okay Kirk saying it’s his choice is good cause at least he’s teaching him that these things he does are his own actions

- “short tempered, because he doesn’t understand” cause you won’t explain shit without mind games and metaphors

- Spock and Bones DO NOT want to get involved

- when Charlie’s explaining what he did to the Antares Bones looks absolutely terrified (Bones sitting like that on the table is… I have many thoughts)

- OH NO UHURA!

- Don’t you dare call Spock Mr. Ears

- “Teenager with supernatural abilities realizes his full potential and decides to use it for evil NOT CLICKBAIT”

- Why would you do that, why would you turn her into an iguana

- GET HIM!!! Wait no! Janice!

- “I love you” “you don’t know what that means” good for her, fuck you Charlie

- He gave Kirk period pain

- “cause you need me to run the ship, and I need him” Spirk? It’s more likely than you think

- this slide from Bones

- “I don’t think you can handle anymore, you’ve reached your limit” Spock and Bones start fucking shit up immediately for Kirk

- Kirk was so ready to punch a bitch

- nice fucking try Charlie- oh Kirk is defending him- nvm he still gets yoinked

- imagine if Charlie becomes Q lol (is that a thing? Are they related?)

- well that’s done now… where’s Scotty, Sulu, and Checkov? (Sulu appeared shirtless in the credits as I wrote that)

Thanks for sticking around again :)

Here’s a link to the first ramble

And all the other rambles

Below the cut is some thoughts I had on the second episode

Some thoughts on episode 2 (The Man Trap):

- it was kinda funny seeing Jim be like “she’s old as fuck, just like Bones”

- I didn’t realize that was where “he’s dead, Jim” came from and my dad quotes it all the time

- it was interesting that even the creature referred to themselves as an animal

- McCoy in the ending where he really didn’t want to kill somebody he loved even if they were just the image

- would not want to be the person to explain what happened to her to Bones

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday fandom :) I love this episode. The aftermath of 5x01. I remember being so very excited every week cause I knew this was their season. I was so giddy for every era we were getting. This ep started the hurts so good/pining era. Nothing better than having your ship on the cusp and getting excited every ep to see what comes next. Return of Genny in this one yay missed her. Imma need more in s6. Looking at you writers.

5x02 Labor Day

We start the ep with a guilt ridden Lucy bringing Chris home to her apt. We all know at this point that’s the reason they’re still together. She nearly cheated on the man for loophole sex with her best friend. Not only that but almost partook while he was dying in the process. Still glad it didn’t go down that way but guilt is the main factor here IMO. Lucy is getting him settled in when there a knock at the door. Love how this detective comes up and doesn’t even care she’s interrupted them.

Legend already haha Says her name is Detective Misha Porter. She teaches at the UC school In Sacramento. Lucy looks star struck saying she knows who she is. Mischa said she’s been doing recruiting and her name keeps coming up. Of course it does Lucy is amazing. Saying she’s worked several impressive OPs. That makes for an ideal candidate. That she is here to recruit her.

Lucy looks guilt ridden once again as she looks at stupid Chris. Just holding her back in so many ways it’s painful. She asks when classes start? Porter tells her next Monday. Saying it’s short notice but they had someone fall out. She’s sure her sergeant would approve it. Lucy lights up for first time at the mention of Tim. Knowing he would. He would do ANYTHING for her career. Something we will see of more at the end of this ep.

Lucy continues to hesitate. Porter sees this and says her classes will open up a ton of doors for her. Lucy tells her she knows. That Detective Harper has told her all about it. She hands her the folder. Saying every unit will want to poach her from patrol after this. Lucy tells her she will think about it…Oh my girl he is not worth giving up UC for. That guilt truly dominating all her decisions.

She returns to Chris and even he tells her to go for it. We see the stress and continued weight of what happened control her. Saying no it can wait. It’s almost like she needs someone else to push her in that direction...Also that someone else is the real reason she doesn’t want to leave. *cough Tim cough*

We see Tim pull up to meet Genny. What is it about him driving that big truck that is so sexy? Mmm. Also in civies. Yum take me now sir. Haha Love that smile of his when he looks at the house. Thank you to your wife for having you do this. It sounds like Genny is having an argument on the phone. Tim asks if she’s ok? She sweeps it under the rug like a classic Bradford.

She just needed his signature on some stuff before the open house. Tim looks so excited this is done and they can finally move on. Genny looks extra sad about it. Seems like it's more than just the house. Tim picks up on this and tells her not to get sad over this house LOL She should be excited they’re gonna get half a mill each for this place. He then is sweet and tells her to call him if she needs anything. Such a good brother ❤️

We return to Lucy at home with Chris. He’s going over her packet saying she has to go. I will give him this and ONLY this. He isn’t trying to keep her from UC school. Now he is trying to do the thing only Tim can. Which is talk her down and have her see some reason. Not gonna happen with you clown. You are not the one for that job. Lucy saying this is where she wants to be. It’s not though…

Lucy is still so angry as she talks about Rosalind. As she should be that’s some serious PTSD for her. Once again not the guy to help her through this anxiety. The guilt is eating away at her and nothing Chris can say will help. Because he is part of that guilt. She almost cheated on him while Rosalind got to him. That’s what’s really eating at her.

Another reason I’m glad it didn’t happened. Would’ve tainted their time together. That would’ve been a painful hill to get over. So no thank you. I’ll be forever grateful it unfolded the way that it did. She is putting off UC for one reason she can’t tell Chris about. Would only add to never ending weight on her soul currently. I wanna hug her.

Oh how I love this scene with Angela. First off I adore him giving her half his burrito ha besties. Second she truly is a cheerleader for Chenford. Also for Tim’s happiness. She just wants to see her grump of a friend be happy. Angela knows that answer is Lucy. It’s been her forever. So she does a little poking around in this scene. Fishing to see what answers she can get. Starting off asking Tim the question that’s been on her mind since Vegas. Even more so since Chris got attacked.

‘How’s Lucy?’ We all know this question isn’t as innocent as it appears. Because well Lopez. He’s out of his damn mind if thinks she gonna let any of this go. I adore this friendship so very much. We notice how Tim likes to surround himself with strong women. His bestie is one of them. His wife another. Only ones he allows to talk to him this way. Heh. I love it. The teasing she does early on in this season is amazing. We were all rooting for her doing this.

Calling him out trying to get him to face his feelings. Do something about them. Angela is as perceptive as they come. And they are as blatantly obvious as two humans could be. Even Nolan knows LOL Tim starts off with a standard answer. She’s shaken but taking time off with Chris. Angela doesn’t care about the Chris part. Asking why he was even there in the first place to find him? Her instigation makes me laugh so hard. Trying to get a real answer out of him. Tim deflecting as he attempts to hold it together for the moment. Just saying he was dropping her off after Vegas. Lies lies and more lies.

Angela’s face is everything. Her 'Mmm-hmm' Calling Tim on his BS answer with her facial expression alone. This is so funny. Tim catching onto what she is throwing down. Asking what she’s implying? When he’s knows EXACTLY what she’s implying. Because babe you almost did what she is suggesting here. You’re just upset cause you're getting caught in that suggestion. I love her throwing back ‘What do you think?’

She is trying so hard to get him to cop to what almost happened between them. Tim goes back to his platonic answer of ‘Just dropping her off. ’ Although his voice gets a little higher in pitch when he does,. Angela’s second ‘Mmm-hmm.’ Is everything. She isn’t buying what you’re selling Timothy. Not for one second. Angela Lopez is a QUEEN. I love her sfm. Man is lying to himself and she just wants him to realize that.

Poor Lucy is desperate for another opinion. So she seeks out her UC mentor. She is so cute when she says Harper is glowing haha I love her sfm. Lucy is asking everyone except the one person she knows would have her answer. So she is hitting up a very pregnant Harper LMAO Who is in no state of mind to be helping her out.

James basically ushers her out of the house. My girl. She needs advice so much and isn’t getting what she needs from those around her. Trying to find someone to validate her skipping for Chris. Thing is she isn’t going to find that. No one is going to validate this guilt of her's like she is seeking. Once again just wanna hug her.

We see Genny waiting in the parking garage for Tim. She called him earlier in the day about offers. Saying they had a developer who wanted over asking. But also a sweet family who wanted it for asking. Tim telling her to go with developer. Cause he doesn't care bout the house. So he makes a crack when she shows up about selling it to a sweet family for 100 bucks ha Such a brother things to do to her. Genny says no.... She has another reason for meeting up other than the house. It’s here we learn about why Genny has been stressed all day. Her and her husband are getting a divorce. Tim tells her how sorry he is. He has most definitely Been there.

Tim asks about the house and who they’re gonna sell it to? Asking if they’re gonna pick the happy family? Genny says no the highest bidder. That divorce isn’t cheap. HA That’ll it’ll soften the blow for her financially being a single mom now. Tim asks if her husband is moving out? She says no she wants to move. Here actually. Asking Tim if that’s ok? He lights up. If there’s anything he needs right now it's family. Especially with all the messy stuff with Lucy atm. It’s so sweet how excited he is. Also their hug is also very adorable. I just adore them so very much.

They nailed casting for his sister. They have an excellent sibling rapport. Good chemistry in that way. Also they do look like they could be related it’s unreal. I love the smile on Tim’s face as he hugs her. My heart. Family is so important to have around. Especially when you’re close to them. This is what Lucy wanted for him out of 4x08. Them to not be torn about their dad but be there for each other like this. Getting me all emotional cause what I have with my baby sister. You know he’s excited he will get to see his nephews more and such too. I love it.

We finally reach their first scene of the ep. It’s a doozy everyone. But such a good one. This is the stage I like to call it 'Hurts so good.' I will always take good productive angst. Well written angst. It’s the BS teenager angst I cannot stand. These people are in their thirties. They don’t got time for that crap. The secret child or breaking up for no reason other than just to make the miserable. Nothing makes me angrier than useless angst just for the sake of having it.

This right here is the good stuff. They did a damn fine job with their angst. It leads us right into that good pining era as well. There is a knock at Lucy’s door. It’s Tim looking mighty fine if you ask me. Says he’s checking in. Asks Chris how he’s feeling? He replies Lucy is taking care of him. The sweet almost sad look to his smile gets me.

Knowing first hand how caring she is. She cared for him long before he was ready for it. When he didn’t appreciate like he would now. This moment is their breakup before they even got together scene. Because that’s basically what it is. We all know Tim included why she’s really holding back from UC school. Her front is Chris. When really it’s Tim and everything they haven’t untangled from Vegas. They haven’t talked about it whatsoever. Tim is there to clear the air.

Lucy is a little bristly with him at the door. He doesn’t let it deter him. Asking her if he can talk to her? She says yes and follows him out into the hallway. Ahh this hallway where so much happened last time. The context and situation so much different this time around. Tim being straight with her right off the bat. Saying he hears she’s on the fence about UC school. She has been hunting down opinions all day long. The one she needs the most comes to her. I love this sfm. Kudos to the writers for setting up this scene so well. Lucy is shocked Chris called him.

Tim says yes it was unexpected..but he wanted him to talk to her. Interesting how Chris could know Tim would be the voice of reason for her. But can’t figure she’s in love with the man and vice versa. Lucy telling him it’s not the right time. Tim won’t stand for this answer. That she owes it to herself to go. Lucy has been the voice of reason for him many times. There to absolve him of his guilt when he blamed himself about Mitch and Caleb. She couldn’t stand him bearing a burden that wasn’t his.

The beautiful part of this heartbreaking scene is he is now doing the same for her. He came not only about UC school but for her guilt. The guilt she is wearing like armor at the moment. About Chris, about what almost happened between them while he was dying. Tim telling he’s going to be fine. That what happened to him ISN'T her fault. Telling Lucy what she used to tell him. Stop weighing your soul down with guilt that isn’t yours to carry.

Lucy brings up what they were about to do. ‘We were about to..’ The way she says that line there is some longing in there. How yes, she’s still with Chris and the guilt that exists with that. But her desire for what almost happened is still there. She doesn’t want to ignore what almost happened between them.

Tim following up with ‘But we didn’t. We didn’t.’ Gah some longing in his voice too. He too is sad they didn’t. The softness in his voice as he delivers that line. Gah it’s so good. Part of him still wishing they had. They had this awakening of their feelings mixed with UC. Then Chris almost dying throwing a nasty wrench in it all.

There is so much subtext behind the lines they’re saying to each other. Lucy then notes the thing she’s been clinging onto. Being his go-fer. Asking if he’s getting rid of her as it? The hurt in her voice *heart clutch* It's written all over her face. Last thing she wants is for Tim to push her away. It’s why she was avoiding UC school in first place. She doesn’t want to lose working with him if she can’t be with him. It’s the closest thing she has to that and now he’s proposing taking that away.

This feels like a breakup because well it is. Their work dynamic/relationship is a huge part of who they are. It’s how we got to this place we’re in. It’s a sacred thing to both of them. Tim is trying to ease her hurt with his reply. Telling her 'No…he’s just trying to look out for her.' The emotions in his voice as he says this. I wanna cry. They both have pre-tears in their eyes. Tim knows this is the right thing to do. Nothing and I mean nothing is more important to that man than protecting her career. Protecting her. Look how far he has come.

Was almost rabidly against her doing UC. Now he’s encouraging it because he knows it’s what best for her. Even if that means leaving him behind. Tim refuses to jeopardize her career in anyway. It’s why he fought her being his aide at first the way he did. Didn’t want anyone to question her or why she got to where she is. Didn’t want any hand in people thinking less of her when it wasn’t true. That even if it hurts them both he is going to look out for her first and foremost.

Lucy can't believe what she's hearing. It's all over her expression in that first gif above. The hits keep coming with this scene. Tim telling her it’s time to move on. When he’s really saying is about them. They had their shot and now it’s time to move on. That they have to accept it's not going to happen for them. Gah kills me as I’m writing this. Took the man years to realizes he was in love with her. Now that he does he can’t have her. So he’s willing to do the honorable thing. Step aside and put his feelings on back burner.

Set aside what he wants for what she needs. Because he knows Lucy. How selfless she is for those she loves. He refuses to let her give up her aspirations for him. Lucy is crushed with his retort of moving on. They’re both so vulnerable in this scene. It’s what makes it hurt so damn good. Props to Eric and Melissa once again. Conveying so much with their words, eyes, and expressions. We are truly lucky to have them as our ship.

Lucy does some double talk of her own. Saying some time away would be good. Really meaning she can’t be around him especially after him breaking this off. That if she can’t be with him better to be away from him. That this far too painful for her. For them both really. Tim trying to build up her saying what a great opportunity this will be. We know how hard this conversation is for him to have. But it shows the depth of growth in him to have it.

This is so very hard on him to give up. Lucy can’t even say more. Her heart is breaking in this moment. Her person is sending her away from him. All she can muster up is ‘Mmhmm..’ because if she speaks any further she’s going to cry. Tim most definitely won’t be able to handle that. Tim with tears in his eyes telling her she should go for it. Even if it’s killing him inside to be apart from her. To walk away from their potential romantically.

Tim feels the best thing he can do for her is distance himself. He is going to fall on his sword to make sure her future is secure. Now that is love. My goodness. The way she is searching his face in the first gif. Oof. She looks so hurt and angry at him for this. She also is trying to keep her shit together. It breaks my heart. This entire scene does. Then our boy walks away and she looks devastated. He has a smile on his face till he turns away from her. Then we see the heartbreak evident on his beautiful face. Ugh.

How she can go back in Chris after that I don't know.. After this scene I knew this season was going to be a hell of a ride. This was the perfect productive angst for them. Hurt like a SOB to watch. A true gut punch to your feels. But damn so well written and acted. I loved it sfm. Oh my lord I love this season.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Nyla’s entire birth SL is hilarious. It’s an insane ride that I love. ‘It’s a girl’ LMAO LEGEND

Thank you thank you to all you amazing readers. Wouldn’t have gotten this far without you all. Your likes, reblogs and comments fuel My soul to write. Shall see you all in 5x03 :)

[thosemonkiekids]

A Journey At Best Chapter 1: Familiar Faces

Don’t check the dates, this was totallyyyyy before the other piece-

Anywayyy... yeah! I'm working on an ao3 fic that's prolly gonna get updates a lot faster than even my fan art record, sooo

You should check it out!

It's called A Journey At Best!

"

A play on Journey to the West despite the fact that I just got finished with chapter 1 only lol This fic is mostly based on the show and if there is a book reference, you won't need to read the book to get it- MK is struggling. His friends are struggling. So much has happened, and honestly, everyone needs some time and some comfort. The world's not gonna wait for them to heal though. Everything feels... Different. ORRRR An episodic (esc) book with different mini-plots, like it were a season, and features some yummy angst+comfort for all you traumatized anxiety-induced PEASANTS. (No judgment, same here lol)

"

[the-milk-monarch]

Hi I was wondering if you could write Alejandro, Tyler, and Brick x masc reader who flinches at sudden movements and noises.

☣︎ Hey hey, welcome first non-anon user!! Ty for your ask! Also sorry for possible OOC and if that's not what you meant with the prompt, I had some troubles lol

also sorry for it not being as long as I'd like to 😔

【 MASC S/O WHO'S ALERT TO RAPID MOVEMENTS/NOISES 】

Summary: (Based on the "Hook, Line, and Screamer" episode) After watching a scary movie you try not to get captured by a killer and one of the boys startles you.

☢︎ | masculine reader ☢︎ | Total Drama ☢︎ | Alejandro | Tyler | Brick

【 Intro 】

⚠︎ | setting: Total Drama: Island (AU)

You were a bit suspicious when Chris told you to watch a horror movie.

You knew it would be a hard to get through challenge, and you were not looking up to the potential anxiety factors that were to arrive.

Once the movie was over and Chris mysteriously disappeared, leaving faint clues about a psycho killer, all of the contestants were either worried or skeptical.

Whatever your opinion on the topic was, you had to use the bathroom after the movie.

The toilet was not too far off, so you decided that it wouldn't bother other contestants and you went off to do your business.

After some time however Gwen noticed you weren't there and asked if anyone knew saw you walking away.

Duncan shrugged and responded you probably "went to take a piss, or something."

Gwen sighed as she just explained the number one horror rule - to not go alone.

He commented that someone should go get you

Suddenly one of the boys chimed in.

【 Alejandro 】

"I'll check up on him." He gentlemanly said, not afraid of the so called "psycho killer".

Just like Heather, he predicted it's just one of Chris's stunts, so he wasn't afraid of anyone catching him while he went to get you.

There was some walking through the forest before he noticed you from afar.

He was too sophisticated to yell, so he didn't say anything until he approached you closer.

You were heading back to the group meeting place as you heard some twig-cracking sound.

You flinched, quickly looking towards the source of the noise.

Your sight didn't meet a killer though, instead it was Alejandro.

He raised his hand in a calming manner, as if to show he's not a threat.

"Relax, it's just me." He said softly, smiling calmly as he approached you.

"Oh- Alejandro." You sighed relieved.

"No psycho killer. Just killer looks." He joked lightheartedly, although a bit of his narcissism shined through.

You rolled your eyes slightly with a faint amused smile.

You knew Alejandro wasn't exactly modest.

"Whatcha doing here?" You asked, now realizing he came here for a reason.

"Oh, was just worried about your whereabouts..." He responded in a slightly flirty manner, waiting for a reaction out of you.

"How caring..." You remarked, looking at him, making him wonder how much of your words were sarcasm or not.

He chuckled. "Of course I care about my fellow teammate."

"We shall go back now, though." He pointed out, knowing that others were waiting for them.

He didn't buy the whole killer situation, but he tried to keep up an appearance, not wanting to be seen as so grumpy as Heather.

You two started walking, until you heard and saw a rabbit running by, startling you.

Alejandro didn't really have a reaction to it, but he noticed you flinching.

"I reassure you if the killer comes here, I will personally protect you." His words came out sweeter than honey, although his sincerity was debatable.

"I just don't like sudden things moving." You elaborated, not wanting Alejandro to get a wrong idea about you.

"Of course." Alejandro nodded, acknowledging your words. "Who likes unpredicted situations happening?"

You finally go back to meet with the rest of the group, noticing some of them have gone missing, but you don't comment on that.

You take a seat on your previously owned tree stump, Alejandro joining you nearby.

Extra: If you're already dating

At first Alejandro will check up on you whenever he sees your reaction to a loud noise (or sudden movement) to ask if you're okay, but if you tell him it's not a big deal he will respect your words.

If others make fun of you for being a "scaredy cat" he won't be afraid to protect your honor, starting a quarrel with whoever disrespects you.

【 Tyler 】

"I'll go!" Tyler said, getting up from his sitting position.

He seemed to be brave and confident as he left his safe spot near the group, but in reality, the movie gave him some scares.

These thoughts about a killer chasing him in the middle of the forest haunted his mind, just like in the film!

He calmed himself down though, as he had go go get you.

He couldn't let you get murdered, could he?

Soon enough, he arrived near the communal bathrooms, expecting you to be close.

Tyler didn't wanna disturb you, so he waited a bit, expecting you to come out soon.

What he didn't know, was that you were already on your way back, noticing him from afar.

You decided to approach him, seeing as he's waiting by the door, probably for you.

You stepped on a twig while your focus while on Tyler, scaring yourself a little by not being aware of your surroundings, but the scream you heard from Tyler was more surprising than the wooden stick.

"AAH!" He yelped in an octave you weren't aware he could do. "Not the killer!!"

You noticed the fear in his eyes as he quickly turned over to see you, smiling at him.

"...Sorry dude, it's just me-" You explained, approaching closer.

"Oh- Y/N!" He finally recognized you after a moment.

"You weren't killed by the killer??" He asked the obvious.

You smiled, appreciating Tyler's silliness.

It made you chuckle. "No. Were you?" You reciprocated the silly question.

He looked around himself, as if he wasn't sure himself at first, but he finally struck a proud pose as he responded. "Nope."

You smiled. "Well- Let's go back then, shall we?"

Tyler nodded, waiting for you to take the lead.

【 Brick 】

Ever since you were nice to Brick that one time, he seemed to take a liking in you.

Of course he never outwardly flirted with you, due to his respect towards you, and some bashfulness on his side.

He wasn't afraid of the horror Chris had left for the campers, nor the psycho killer, but he was afraid of the dark.

Perhaps it was the unnerving lack of knowledge about what could be hiding in there was getting to him.

He couldn't even sleep without his nightlight on.

Nonetheless, he couldn't leave his teammate to fend for themselves when there could be a potential killer on the loose!

"Never leave a cadet behind!" He chanted as he got up from the trunk he was sitting on, with his hand doing a brief salute, as he took this rule very seriously.

His movements were firm and confident as he made his way near the communal bathrooms, but they quickly turned meek as he realized how dark it was.

He tried to keep calm, not only for himself, but for you.

He was going out there with a purpose!

He stayed near the faint, available source of light there was and finally arrived, seeing you leave thru the doors.

Excitement got to him as he realized he had successfully completed his mission, stepping forward to join you in going back together.

As he took a step though, his black boots kicked a big pebble, making a rather loud noise that made you look towards the source of the sound in an alarmed manner.

"Hey, hey- It's Brick." He quickly reassured you with a half awkward smile.

"Oh. Hey- You startled me." You explained, reciprocating the smile with friendliness.

"Sorry, sorry." He quickly apologized, scratching the base of his neck to release some tension.

You noticed his expression was always so- different around you than with other campers.

He usually had a friendly, calm and confident smile, but every time you looked at his face, it showed a more unsure and, dare to say, meek look.

The sound of him clearing his throat pulled you away from your thoughts.

"Ekhm, so, ready to go back to the group?" He asked, looking around, anywhere but your face.

You swear you could sense some hesitation in him, but you weren't sure why.

Perhaps it was the fear of the dark that you knew about?

"Yeah, yeah." You took a step forward, looking back to see if he's coming.

Brick followed you, keeping close and on the look out for potential killer.

"You don't think the killer is out there, do you?" You asked curiously, glancing at him.

"Oh. Well-" He trailed off slightly, unsure what to say.

"Maybe he's there, maybe not. But, our senses gotta stay sharp in any case." He spoke in an almost determined tone.

"If anyone comes, I'm ready to protect the group." He made a little salute to emphasize his point, gaining a soft chuckle from you.

"...And- you, of course." He added after a moment of hesitation, and with the help of dim lighting you could discern a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Well in that case, I'll make sure to look out for you." You said with a warm smile.

You could see his ears turning red and hear a bashful chuckle come out of his lips.

"I- I appreciate that." He finally mustered to say after a moment.

[anonzentimes]

This is mostly repeating something I said on twitter in a more proper way because bless tumblr's practically lack of a word limit lmao.

I don't think I've ever loved a show as much as I love murder drones before, like I enjoy a lot of shows like the owl house, friends, etc, and they're all wonderful of course but they're not something I'd want to rewatch entirely constantly only specific episodes while murder drones for me is that special thing where It's so rewatchable I want to watch it all the episodes and repeat the dialogue with it and love it forever lol. I do this with Disney movies especially Nightmare Before Christmas and The Hunchback of Notre Dame and I'm able to recite some english voiced Nagito lines as well.

Murder Drones is so special, it has so much to love it is unbelievable. The animation, characters, music, lore, humor, visuals, voice acting, just everything is so unbelievably great about it and I can't wait to see how they end the show. Endings mean a lot to the overall experience and I truly hope they stick the landing, I don't have any doubts in my mind that they will but there is still the unexpected anxiety of never knowing until it happens.

I don't think there will be a season 2 based on how Glitch words things in the new promotional video's description which is really sad but if it's anything like gravity falls' writing where everything is planned in advance then I'm sure one season will be enough for this wonderful show if that's what it's aiming for.

N is going to be so traumatized in the next episode thinking Uzi is dead and V being dead he's had everything striped away from him and not to mention the toxic relationship with Cyn she's taken everything from him, his memories, his loved ones, his life, everything. But it's not even entirely Cyn's fault either it's the absolute solver and that's such a cool concept. The scenes of Uzi being possessed and the even MORE trauma N is going through and seeing is so much. I'm glad they had a moment where N snapped and had a moment where his self esteem and how he views himself was evident people are starting to realize more how amazing of a character he really is.

I love this show so dearly tomorrow I plan to watch it with friends lol. It's late (4:50am sheesh insomnia) I'm gonna sleep now bye bye!! tip of the day go watch murder drones

[emma-m-black]

Soul Mate Magic - Chapter Nine

Rupert Giles x OC (FanFiction) - MATURE 18+

A new magical transfer comes to Sunnydale High, and ends up discovering a magical connection with our favorite Watcher.

OC is 19+ (Not a Minor), Age Gap, Slow Burn-ish (with a little preview thrown in there during the Bandy Candy Episode).

This will be a multi chapter story I don't know how spicy it will get yet, but I'll rate it Mature just to be safe.

Author Master List

Read: Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight,

p.s. So I just finished writing and editing Chapter 13 & 14 and I love them so much, I cannot wait to post them! It is taking everything in me to not just go on a posting spree just to get there lol.

Chapter Nine:

It was only three days into the holiday break, and Rose felt as though she were teetering on the brink of madness. The book Anya had instructed her to fetch lay on the hardwood desk in the corner of Rose’s dimly lit bedroom. Its ominous presence seemed to pulse with a life of its own, a constant reminder of the unsettling information the ex-demon had relayed.

Rose had hardly slept over the past two nights. Every time she closed her eyes, images of Giles and the strange bond between their magic danced in her mind, blending into a whirlpool of anxiety and confusion. She grappled with the disconcerting thought: was she obsessing over Giles because of a supernatural compulsion, or was she merely succumbing to her own paranoia? The uncertainty gnawed at her, making sleep elusive. The bond she feared might be pulling them together seemed to mock her indecision, and the more she pondered, the more elusive clarity became.

She knew she couldn’t decipher the cryptic text on her own. Giles was essential to understanding whether Anya’s claims had any validity. Fortunately, the holiday season provided her with a perfect escape. Her Aunt Selena’s endless stream of Christmas parties offered the perfect cover. With the constant social bustle, Rose could slip away without raising suspicion. The demand for her aunt’s fortune-telling services was at its peak, leaving Rose with an opportunity to sneak out unnoticed. Regardless, she hadn’t seen her Aunt in the past few weeks. Rose couldn’t remember when she last saw her Aunt, between her classes and homework and Selena being gone to the shop.

Now, sitting in her car, Rose’s gaze was fixed on the imposing complex where Giles lived. The book rested on the passenger seat, its cover a silent testament to the weight of her dilemma. She had no means to call him and inquire whether her visit would be welcome. What if he had gone out? What if he had company? The nagging doubts began to erode her resolve. Her mind raced with the possibilities of making a fool of herself, and she began to second-guess her decision. Was this venture a colossal mistake?

A sharp knock on the car window jolted her from her thoughts. “FUCK!” Rose gasped, her heart leaping into her throat. She clutched the steering wheel with white-knuckled desperation, her breath hitching as adrenaline surged through her veins. Slowly, she turned her head, half-expecting to see an intimidating stranger—but instead, Giles’s familiar face appeared outside the glass.

The sight of him, dressed in a dark grey hoodie and sweatpants, struck Rose as unexpectedly mundane. He must have been out for a run. The ordinary appearance of Giles contrasted sharply with the extraordinary nature of their predicament, adding a surreal quality to the moment.

Giles took a step back, allowing her the space to open the door and exit the vehicle. Rose gathered herself, gripping the book tightly as she approached him.

“Rose?” Giles’s voice was tinged with surprise and curiosity.

“I’m sorry,” she stammered, her voice betraying her nervousness. “I didn’t know how to reach you, but I was hoping we could talk.”

“About what?” Giles inquired, a note of concern in his tone.

“About what’s happening with us—our magic. I might have a book that can help, but I can’t read it to verify what I’ve been told.” Rose extended the book toward him. Giles took it, examining the cover with a thoughtful frown.

“Come in,” he said, gesturing toward the building. “I’ll make tea.”

“Any chance you have some really strong coffee?” Rose asked, her voice tinged with fatigue. “I haven’t… I haven’t been sleeping well the last few nights. I’m basically running on extreme guilt and caffeine.”

Giles’s smile was tinged with sadness as he nodded, leading her into the complex. The tension between them was palpable, and every step toward his front door felt like traversing a tightrope of unspoken emotions. As Giles unlocked the door and ushered her inside, Rose’s heart raced with a mix of anticipation and apprehension.

Once inside, Giles quietly closed the door behind them, the soft click resonating in the otherwise silent house. He set the book down on his desk with a deliberate slowness, his hands lingering on the leather cover for a moment longer than necessary. Without meeting Rose’s eyes, he turned toward the kitchen, leaving her standing in the living area, awkward and exposed.

Rose wrapped her arms around herself as though to shield against the chill of uncertainty that settled between them. She watched him move, each step a quiet echo, and felt the weight of the unspoken words hanging in the air. Her heart beat faster, the distance between them suddenly feeling like a chasm.

“It was in my aunt’s shop,” she began, her voice trembling as if the words themselves were fragile. “By chance, someone pointed it out to me and read a passage, but I can’t confirm what she told me. I was hoping you could help translate.”

Giles busied himself with the coffeemaker, his back to her as he grabbed the canteen of coffee grounds. Rose’s focus stayed locked on him. She found herself drawn to the broad set of his shoulders, the way his hands moved—steady and capable, even when his mind must be reeling. There was a comfort in the familiar sight of him, but that same comfort was now tinged with a dangerous, electric charge.

“I’m not well-versed in Old Croatian,” he said, his tone more measured than his earlier actions, “but I do have many volumes that can aid in translation.”

Rose nodded, though he couldn’t see her, her thoughts racing faster than she could gather them. “She… she said something about a magical bond. Something ancient. I didn’t really understand at first, but then she showed me the text.” She hesitated, her throat tightening. “She said we might be magical soul mates.”

At those words, Giles’s hands stilled. The coffeemaker whirred softly, but everything else in the room seemed to freeze. Slowly, he turned, his eyes searching hers with an intensity that made her breath hitch. His face was a mixture of shock and something else—something deeper that Rose couldn’t quite name. His gaze dropped to her lips for the briefest moment before he caught himself, quickly refocusing on her eyes.

“It’s… not what it sounds like,” she added quickly, her cheeks flushing. “But it means our magic is connected. And if we—if we fully connect…” She swallowed hard. “Things could get dangerous.”

Giles inhaled sharply, his jaw tightening as he crossed the room toward her. He stopped just short of touching her, their proximity enough to make her pulse race but far enough to keep the tension taut. His hand hovered near hers, almost as if he wanted to reach out but held back at the last second.

“How dangerous?” he asked quietly, his concern palpable, his voice lower than usual.

“Anya said… if we connect and then get separated, it could—” Her voice faltered. His closeness was overwhelming, the warmth of him drawing her in. “It could kill us.”

The air between them grew thicker, charged with the weight of what they weren’t saying. Her gaze dropped to his hand, so close to hers that she could almost feel the heat radiating from his skin. If she just shifted slightly, her fingers could graze his. The thought sent a shiver down her spine, a mix of fear and something far more dangerous.

They stood like that, unmoving, the tension coiling tighter with every second. Rose’s lips parted as if to speak, but no words came. Instead, she watched as Giles’s hand twitched, his fingers curling ever so slightly toward her. It was nothing more than a whisper of movement, but it sent a thrill through her, the kind that left her breathless.

“But it can’t be true,” she forced herself to say, her voice quieter now. “That’s why I need your help to verify what this book says.”

Giles nodded, though the intensity in his eyes hadn’t lessened. His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but then he closed it again, rubbing the back of his neck instead. It was an old, familiar gesture of his, one that made Rose ache with the knowledge of how well she knew him—too well, perhaps.

“What did she mean by ‘connect’?” Giles asked, his voice a rasp, and this time when he spoke, he didn’t move away. If anything, he seemed to lean in just the tiniest bit, enough to make Rose’s breath catch.

She felt a blush creep up her neck. “I think you know what I mean, Rupert.” The sound of his name on her lips sent a spark through the air between them, something raw and unspoken hanging in the space left by her words.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered, the words barely audible as he turned away, breaking the moment. His hand brushed her arm lightly as he moved past her, a fleeting touch that burned like fire. Rose flinched, but not from pain—something else entirely, something that made her long for more. She bit her lip, her body still humming from the contact.

“It could always be worse, I suppose,” Rose added, her voice shaking, “The last pair she met, were burned at the stake.”

Giles gave a strained chuckle, his attempt at humor doing little to break the tension that pulsed between them. “Perhaps I should have made the coffee stronger,” he murmured, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“I’ll be back in a moment,” he said, his voice tight. “Feel free to make yourself at home.”

“No rush, take your time,” Rose replied, attempting a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Her voice wavered, betraying the anxiety gnawing at her insides.

“Cream is in the fridge and sugar on the counter, cups—”

“I know where the cups are,” Rose interrupted, a soft chuckle escaping her lips. The laughter felt hollow, more a release of nervous energy than genuine amusement.

Giles gave her a brief, uncertain look before he turned to head upstairs. The echo of his footsteps faded, leaving Rose alone in the quiet, the tension between them lingering like the weight of unspoken fears. The stillness was thick, oppressive, and Rose exhaled slowly, trying to steady her shaking hands.

The scent of brewing coffee filled the room, offering a small comfort against the rising tide of her thoughts. She clung to the mundane task of preparing her drink, but her mind was elsewhere—spiraling with dread. What if they found proof? What if the bond was as dangerous as Anya suggested? Her chest tightened as panic took hold, her breath catching in her throat.

Her fingers trembled as she reached for a mug. She poured the dark liquid with more force than intended, the coffee splashing onto the counter. She cursed under her breath, quickly wiping it away. The bitterness of the coffee matched the turmoil roiling inside her, and as she took a sip, the flavor did little to settle her nerves.

The quiet of Giles’s home surrounded her, normally a refuge, but now it felt alien, as though it belonged to a different life. The warmth of old leather and books, once comforting, felt distant. She tried to focus on the simple task of drinking her coffee, but every second seemed to stretch into an eternity as her anxiety churned.

Footsteps creaked down the stairs, drawing her attention. Giles returned, now dressed in casual jeans and a dark grey sweater, his arms laden with books. The tension etched into his features mirrored her own.

“Sorry about the wait,” he said softly, his voice a little lighter than before. “I brought a few texts that might help with the translation.”

Rose offered a tight-lipped smile. “It’s all good.”

He set the books down on the coffee table and gestured toward the couch. “Shall we begin?”

Nodding, Rose followed him. She settled into the cushions, feeling the awkwardness close in around them again like a fog. Giles handed her a thick, ancient-looking book, and as their hands brushed during the exchange, an unexpected spark shot through her, making her heart skip. She quickly averted her gaze, pretending to focus on the text, but the warmth of his fingers lingered.

“So… who was it that told you about this book?” Giles asked, breaking the silence as he sat beside her.

“An ex-demon,” Rose replied after a pause, glancing up to meet his gaze, their proximity unsettling in a way that made her hyper-aware of every slight movement.

He raised an eyebrow, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Oh? Hang around with a lot of those, do you?”

The teasing lilt in his voice caught her off guard, and despite everything, a small, genuine smile formed on her lips. “More than you might think,” she said, feeling the faintest ease in the tension. But her heart beat faster when his knee bumped against hers—casual, unintentional, but enough to send a wave of heat through her. She shifted slightly but stayed where she was.

Giles chuckled softly, and for the first time that day, the air between them felt a little lighter. They turned their attention back to the text, falling into a rhythm as they worked through the material, side by side but lost in their own thoughts.

At one point, Rose reached for the notebook at the same time as Giles did. Their fingers brushed once again, and this time, the touch felt heavier, more deliberate. They both withdrew quickly, Giles mumbling an awkward apology under his breath, and Rose nodding, her throat suddenly dry.

Hours passed unnoticed; the room growing dim as the daylight outside faded. The coffee pot, once full of warmth and promise, sat cold and empty on the counter. The scent of the coffee had long since dissipated, leaving behind only the quiet of their study.

Rose found herself glancing at Giles from time to time, watching the way his brow furrowed in concentration. His glasses slipped down his nose as he read, and he absently pushed them back into place with a familiar gesture. There was a calmness about him now that hadn’t been there before, as if the act of working through the problem together had given him focus.

She, too, had relaxed into the couch, her legs tucked beneath her. Despite the weight of the ancient book in her lap, her mind began to wander, slipping from the details of the text to the man beside her. There was something almost intimate about this—sitting here, the silence between them more comfortable than it had any right to be. It was as though the very air between them had shifted, no longer fraught with fear, but something else entirely—something unspoken, yet palpable.

Eventually, Giles closed the book in his hands with a soft thud. His eyes, tired but contemplative, met Rose’s. “I don’t think I’ve ever read anything quite so…” He trailed off, searching for the right word.

“Depressing,” Rose finished for him, her smile more resigned this time.

“I was going to say disheartening, but yes, depressing fits,” he replied with a sigh, leaning back against the couch and removing his glasses. As he did, his arm brushed hers—whether by accident or on purpose, Rose wasn’t sure—but the brief contact sent a shiver down her spine. He didn’t seem to notice, though, too absorbed in the weight of their situation.

Rose let out a frustrated breath, slapping her book shut. “I don’t understand. If this bond is some kind of magical match, why does it come at such a steep price? Why is it all or nothing?” Her voice was rising, the frustration bubbling to the surface. “Magic isn’t supposed to work like this. There’s always balance.”

“It does seem rather strange,” Giles agreed quietly. He set his glasses on the table and leaned forward, his hands clasped as he stared at the books in front of them. “Perhaps this is the price we pay to wield such powerful magic.”

Rose shook her head, chewing on her lip. “But… what does ‘apart’ mean? How far is too far? There’s no clarity. It feels like something you’d say to scare children into behaving.”

Giles’s eyes darkened with thought. “You did mention that a pair had been burned at the stake.”

“Yeah, but that could have been just because they had magic?” Rose’s voice was filled with disbelief. “We need more information.”

“Unless…” Giles hesitated, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “Unless it’s not a bond. But a curse.”

The word hit Rose like a slap, cold and sharp. A curse. Her heart began to pound. If it was a curse, it could be broken. But the thought brought little comfort. A curse carried its own dangers, its own consequences. Rose’s breath quickened, and she met Giles’s eyes, searching for answers, for reassurance.

Giles reached out, placing his hand over hers on the closed book. His touch was gentle, but the warmth of his palm against her skin sent a jolt through her, grounding her in the moment. For a brief second, she couldn’t think—only feel. His thumb brushed her knuckles as if by accident, but the sensation lingered, igniting something she hadn’t anticipated.

His gaze was steady, but there was sadness there, a resignation that mirrored her own. Giles didn’t pull his hand away, his skin resting lightly on hers, as though he was offering her silent comfort—both of them grasping at the same fragile thread of hope.

“We’ll figure this out,” Giles said softly, his voice filled with quiet determination. His hand remained on hers for a moment longer, a tether keeping them connected in the uncertainty that surrounded them. The world around them seemed to narrow, shrinking down to just the two of them and the warmth where their hands touched.

Rose’s breath hitched. She could feel the tension crackling in the space between them, something unspoken but potent swirling in the air. The exhaustion and fear that had weighed on her began to fade, replaced by an electric awareness of him—of the way his thumb brushed against her skin, the way his breathing seemed to have slowed.

She looked up, her eyes meeting his, and for a moment, time stilled. Giles was closer than she realized, their faces only inches apart. The weight of everything they hadn’t said—everything they hadn’t dared acknowledge—hung heavy in the silence. His eyes flicked down to her lips for just a heartbeat, and her breath caught in her throat. She felt herself lean in, just a fraction, pulled toward him by something she couldn’t control.

Giles’s gaze darkened, his hand shifting ever so slightly as though he might close the remaining distance between them. Rose could almost feel the ghost of his breath on her skin, the tantalizing thought of his lips just a breath away—

And then the knock came.

The sound shattered the fragile moment, sending them both flinching apart as though waking from a dream. Giles pulled his hand back, clearing his throat, while Rose sat frozen, her heart pounding in her chest. The spell between them was broken, but the lingering heat of it remained, burning under her skin.

Chapter Ten