#is it really that much better in japanese?

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

here’s the OTHER leaker translation I would explode out of existence

listen.

I know, okay?

I know everyone loves this. I know everyone lost their shit for it. But I hate it.

I will admit honestly that it is 70% abject fury over the misuse of one word. Another 20% is frustration over how the fandom reacted to the official translation with such vitriol and how the leaker fueled it with their smug comments. That final 10% amounts to what some might consider pedantic or nitpicky. But I don't care.

This translation sucks. It doesn't sound cool, it doesn't sound threatening, and the leaker's rookie mistakes ruin what makes this moment great for me.

Allow me to elaborate.

The emphasis is on the wrong part

I’ve talked about some of the pronoun differences in this line before, but did you know Katsuki also changes the particles every time?

‘Cause I sure don’t think the leaker noticed. Grammar particles are what determine the relationship between words in a sentence. They pack a lot of punch, denoting subject, object, indirect object, purpose, location, time, origin point, direction of movement, means or method—and a bunch more shit that can be hard to describe.

Word order and particles work together to direct our attention to specific parts of a sentence, emphasizing the importance of what is being said. They are some of the most difficult parts of Japanese for learners to grasp and use with the same ease that native speakers do. I’m acutely aware of this weakness, so I often pay particular attention to them. Let’s break down how each iteration shifts the meaning and emphasis of the base sentence.

First time

Chapter 322 おまえが拭えねぇもんは俺たちが拭う omae ga nuguenee mon wa oretachi ga nuguu

Katsuki uses ga with both the second person pronoun for Izuku and the first person plural pronoun for himself and Class 1-A. Ga emphasizes the word that comes directly before it, so this focuses not on the verb itself, but the persons doing the verb. Katsuki's first person plural pronoun oretachi of course means "we," but if you wanted to highlight his literal meaning, he's saying: "the things you cannot handle, me and the people with me will handle."

Second time

Chapter 323 てめーが拭えねーもんはこっちで拭う temee ga nuguenee mon wa kocchi de nuguu

Here, Katsuki retains ga for Izuku’s second person pronoun, but changes both his first person pronoun and its particle, giving us kocchi de. This shifts the implication of who is doing the act—the first time, Katsuki's "we" pronoun highlighted the classmates who accompanied him and acted with him to help save Izuku. But by the time he says this line again, a number of people outside their class have stepped forward to defend Izuku’s return to UA.

Unlike distinctly singular pronouns like ore, kocchi both refers to oneself and something greater than oneself. By switching to this, Katsuki expands that narrow “me and the people with me” into “our side,” presenting the people who support Izuku as a unified force.

You see, kocchi de subtly shifts the verb to being executed by subject(s) defined by a specific characteristic or condition.

Explanations of particle de from Mainichi Nonbiri. The heading and explanation read, "Subject: 'De' is used to denote the subject who deals with or engages in the action expressed by the predicate."

The first example uses jibun de (by oneself) to describe the conditions under which the listener is asked to execute the verb. The third uses gikai de (in the parliament or by the parliament, as a governing body representing many people) to explain the plurality and nature of the subject executing the verb.

The second example uses socchi de, which is the second person "you" version of kocchi, meaning your side. With this, you can see the purpose is to highlight division: "you did that over there on your side of things without any input from me."

Kocchi de as Katsuki uses it likewise creates "sides" by highlighting connection.

These details emphasize Izuku as the person who cannot handle these things and the relationship he has with the people supporting him, a collective Katsuki aligns himself with.

If we maintain this emphasis and the conditions in a literal way, we have: "The things you cannot handle, our side will handle for you."

Third time

Chapter 405 OFA(あいつ)に拭えねーもんはこっちで拭うってなあぁああ！！！ OFA (aitsu) ni nuguenee mon wa kocchi de nuguutte naaaa!!!

I want you to look really close at the particle ni.

Then look at the way the first word balloon ends with the particle wa.

And hear me when I say that this does not emphasize Izuku.

Ni is not a particle for emphasis. If Izuku's personal inability to handle AFO were being highlighted, Katsuki could have used には, which I talk about briefly in this post:

The combination of the two particles ni and wa are used to emphasize, compare, and contrast. This is extremely telling just on its own. Izuku is emphasizing the fact that, compared to everyone he could possibly tell, he cannot tell Katsuki this. He might be able to tell other people, but when it comes to Katsuki, he cannot. Ienai does not specify where the limitation stems from, but ni wa sure implies it.

If Katsuki wanted to disparage Izuku in comparison to himself, like "that guy obviously can't handle you, so I'll do it," he would have said something like this. He even could have slapped his own singular pronoun and ga in there (俺が拭う) to emphasize himself as an individual actor. But that's not what he did.

The particle wa tells us what the topic is. Neither Katsuki nor Izuku are the topic in any iteration of this line; they are subjects engaging with the verbs. The topic is "the things OFA (that guy) can't handle."

Now, because every other time Katsuki said this line had ga in it too, wa wasn't quite as strong as it is this third time. If ga emphasizes what comes before it, then wa emphasizes what comes after. It tells us, "this is the topic, now hold onto your seats."

Katsuki is emphasizing the predicate and the verb. What's gonna happen and how it's gonna happen.

He's saying, "our side is gonna fucking crush you."

The wa particle and the separate balloons build tension, suspense, and excitement—which the leaker instantly deflates. By front-loading Katsuki as both topic and subject ("I'm the guy"), the emphasis is no longer on the promise of destruction he will deliver on.

The emphasis is indisputably on the part after the balloon break, so the mention of Izuku ("when that nerd can't handle it all on his own") reads weirdly like an insult. Hell, most of the words the leaker uses are about Izuku's inability to handle the situation, which bloat the second half of the line and effectively kill the momentum.

Fumbling the flow of a line is a common mistake for amateur translators. Sometimes, it's hard to avoid because Japanese grammar is often the inverse of English grammar; maintaining the original order may render it awkward or even unintelligible.

But that is not the case here.

pikahlua's literal translation

There's no reason to reorder the clauses. You can spruce up the wording, but the lines are perfectly understandable and effective in this order even at their most literal.

The leaker chose to reorder the lines this way, and their translation is worse for it.

Viz Comparison

Official translation by Viz

After what I've said about particles, pacing, and emphasis, I think you can plainly see that the official translator understood these details and made his own choices to highlight them.

Any time you get text with furigana (explained here), you have to decide how to incorporate those dual pieces of information into the text. He could have translated this as "that guy couldn't keep you in the ground," but instead he prioritized the reference to OFA.

By doing this, Viz's translation avoids the implication of insult towards Izuku that the leaker falls prey to.

He also made the choice to translate kocchi as "we."

First, I’m bringing this post back around to remind people that kocchi is a pronoun of ambiguous plurality. This means that an interpretation of “we” is just as correct as an interpretation of “I.” Readers may interpret it differently, but on simply linguistic grounds, they are of equal validity. You will often see this kind of ambiguous language used in Japanese, even with characters that are forthright. The reason is one part cultural expectation that the listener will read between the lines, and one part a willingness to accept two things as simultaneously true. This exists and is frequently found in English as well, there just isn’t a direct parallel for kocchi itself.

A number of people were infuriated by this, because they felt some sort of bkdk moment was erased by Katsuki saying "we" rather than "I."

Yet it seemed like these same people were also mad one week prior when the leaker and the official translator worded Katsuki's rallying cry slightly differently.

Chapter 404. Leaker, left. Official, right.

The claim there was apparently that the official translator was ignoring Katsuki's character development.

And like, which is it, guys? Do you want him centering the collective or himself?

The fact is that the official translation's characterization of Katsuki in the final battle is internally consistent with itself, while the leaker's is all over the goddamn place. Let us never forget that the leaker was just straight up WRONG here while the official got it exactly right.

Chapter 408. Leaker, left. Official, right.

People were losing their shit that Viz made Katsuki "insult himself" and "expect failure" as though he's never used temee to refer to himself self-deprecatingly before.

And then the leaker just had to pretend that didn't happen in the next fucking chapter, while the official got to correctly reiterate their interpretation like they were taking a victory lap.

Chapter 409. Leaker, left. Official, right.

All of this makes it unbelievably rich for the leaker to go and say shit like this:

The leaker is an amateur translator. They spent ages stealing an artist's work and releasing it illegally for a profit with shoddy translations and misleading, even outright false "summaries."

Based on the nature of their translation mistakes, it is obvious to me that they are not fluent in Japanese, yet here they are bragging about their inability to understand how kocchi could mean "we."

Right before the line in question, Katsuki emphasizes himself as an individual in declaring himself to be the final boss.

Chapter 405 俺がラスボスだ AFO!! ore ga rasu bosu da AFO!!

And then, by using ってな, Katsuki is basically quoting himself.

"I said we were gonna handle what that guy couldn't, didn't I!?"

This suggests he is repeating the established meaning for emphasis, not changing it. If kocchi was plural when he said it in chapter 323, it's reasonable for it to still be plural here. Katsuki is not ignoring himself as an individual by doing this; he is rubbing it in AFO's face that neither he nor Izuku are solitary actors fighting this battle alone, they both belong to something greater than themselves.

I'm gonna step up on a soapbox for a bit.

I am kinda tired of people calling Japanese vague. I often see it used to imply Japanese is inherently hard to understand or that doesn't have the capacity for specificity. Like any language, Japanese can be used to express specific, clear, and direct information. While it is true Japanese culture values indirectness as a way to maintain harmony, I would like to challenge the ethnocentricism I feel sometimes goes unaddressed in this topic.

Japanese is less tolerant of repetition and verbal excess than English is; information that has been established should only be repeated for a purpose. Japanese speakers expect their conversation partners to maintain awareness of context, social expectations, and specific interpersonal information to grasp the intended meaning of their words. Specificity is doled out when it is warranted or desired.

Specificity divides one thing from another, drawing lines in the sand and saying "this is this, and that is that." English often requires repetitive specificity to even be grammatically comprehensible. And while this might not be directly related, many English-speaking countries tend to have a more individualistic outlook on society than collectivist countries like Japan.

To me, "vague" often smacks of a value judgment: "there should be division here, and there isn't."

I said earlier that kocchi creates division by highlighting sides, us vs. them, but when people press on and ask, "but did he say we or I? which did he REALLY mean?" I just want to say that really? truly? he meant both. all of the above.

I think it is unproductive to think of Japanese as vague just because it doesn't exclude possibilities as often or as strongly as English does. I think it is a lot more useful and interesting to think of Japanese as expansive.

Why should there be division between Katsuki and the people fighting by his side? Why should he separate himself from the people who saved his life and risked their own in relentless pursuit of their common, heroic goal?

Why is it unacceptable to imagine an "I" belonging so sincerely and wholly to a "we" that their voices are one?

Katsuki's words reflect the fact that this fight being fought by a collective, a team.

In this context, OFA is a weapon in their arsenal, just as Katsuki himself is.

He is a force of nature, an agent of their willpower.

Chapter 404

He rode upon the winds of their prayers, ushered on by Izuku's hopes

and his own regrets,

to change the course of fate itself.

For much of the series, Katsuki is our beacon of individualism, of defiant refusal to bend to the will and expectations of others.

But Katsuki is also our image of victory. He shows us how to face our failures and change our hearts. He is our proof that rejecting others only hurts us in the end—his love for Izuku and Izuku's love for him is the story's greatest proof that as human beings, we are not better alone, we are better with each other. Other people change us, inspire us, and we do the same for them.

We need each other. We belong to each other.

It is in this final battle where Katsuki becomes his truest self, overcoming every obstacle in his path, making up for every painful regret in his heart, and utilizing every single thing in his grasp to save and win.

If Katsuki ever truly belonged to something bigger than himself, it is in this moment right here.

English divides the one from the many, and while that has its benefits, I think there is real, honest beauty to be found in a word that smooths those lines in the sand until there is no distinction at all.

That's who the fucking "we" is, rukasu.

Now onto my next gripe.

Katsuki is supposed to sound badass here

Frankly, the fan fury surrounding Viz's use of "we" completely overshadowed the fact that the phrase "One For All couldn't keep you in the ground" is fucking metal.

It rules. I'm fucking jealous I didn't write those words. It is such a good translation and it packs so much punch and I wouldn't have thought of it in a thousand years.

The official translator focuses his efforts on genre-specific tone translation, and sometimes he really nails it. I will freely admit that I find his style grating or overwrought at times, and indeed, one of his key weaknesses is that the flavor of comic-book dialogue he pulls from can sound one generation too old to be cool.

One of the most damning examples of this is him having Katsuki utter the word "bub"—

Chapter 406

—which I think no English-speaker under the age of 30 had actually heard before Deadpool & Wolverine came out.

Honestly, if you just read Wolverine comics from the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s, you can see the character archetype he leans into for Katsuki's dialogue. 405's tagged-on "—and then some!!" is straight out of American action movies.

But the main point here is that Katsuki is taunting AFO and threatening him. He blows up AFO's face, announces himself as the final boss, then vows to kick his ass to death on behalf of everyone. It's amazing.

The line sounds cool as fuck in Japanese. The "naaaa" flourish at the end is nearly untranslatable in any direct way that still captures the appeal and impact of it.

I tend to think of sentence enders like this as flavor text or tone tags. To properly convey them in English, you may have to add a bunch of words, and you have to choose them carefully.

All of this is to say, the official translation tries pretty hard to make Katsuki sound cool. Do they succeed? I think to an extent, they do.

I actually think it's possible the translator did recognize the callback, but wasn't satisfied with the effect of repeating it. You can see that "finish the job" is supposed to link Izuku's actions to theirs, while also sounding grandiose and final.

The Viz translator might've simply prioritized showcasing the cool-guy threat while maintaining the collectivist angle, rather than matching the callback word for word. I don't really think that's the best choice, but I can see why it might be made.

The leaker's translation doesn't make any real effort to up the ante. Maybe this line is cool to somebody, but it ain't me.

In fact, are we ever gonna acknowledge that the leaker's translation just scoops up most of its wording from the official release of chapters 322 and 323?

"I'm the guy who steps in when that nerd can't handle it all on his own!!"

The leaker was not responsible for these translations, but just look at how other people tried to grapple with Katsuki's metaphor.

In fact, the only person whose choice of words prophetically matched Viz was pikahlua, four days before the official release:

And even then, you can see that "step in when" is unique to Viz.

I'm not saying that similarities in translation are unacceptable or that directly referencing the official release is bad, but I do find it truly incredible they had the gall to shit-talk the official translator after cheating off his damn homework.

The leaker basically contributed six words: "I'm the guy who" and "that nerd." I personally disagree with "the guy who" as a translation addition, just because I think it too strongly isolates him in a way that using "I" and "I'm" by themselves do not, but it wouldn't have been terrible if they had also maintained the original clause order: "One For All couldn't handle you... but I'm the guy who—", something like that.

This brings us to my final gripe.

Katsuki did not say “that nerd.”

The leaker made that shit up, they inserted it for no reason and ignored the two pronouns the original text actually provides, OFA and aitsu (that guy).

In the manga, Katsuki has never called Izuku a nerd to villains, not once. It is rare for him to use it while speaking to someone other than Izuku, period. It’s an insulting pet name he uses towards Izuku or while muttering angrily to himself about Izuku.

To be clear, the narrator who uses "shitty nerd" is not Katsuki, they merely validate the accuracy of his nickname for Izuku. Yes, I just linked to my tag for the whole damn 348 chapter, because I've argued against this theory a lot, just read 'em all, it's a good time.

By my count, he only uses it once while talking to Todoroki in chapter 42 and once to Ochako in a 5-page bonus chapter for the first character guide, set shortly after chapter 65. Both take place very early in the series and both are examples of his intense grudge against Izuku.

Did you know that the last time Katsuki uses "nerd" towards Izuku directly is in chapter 320?

Who's ignoring Katsuki's character development again?

The fact is the word doesn't exist in 405's text, and there just isn't precedent for him to say it to All For One.

Trash-talk doesn’t work if your opponent has no clue what the hell you’re talking about. AFO would have no idea who “that nerd” is even supposed to be, because they were not already discussing Izuku, unlike both canon instances of Katsuki using it in conversation with others. The audibly-pronounced aitsu just means "that guy over there (physically near neither you nor me)" and you could argue that is unclear, too, but it's relatively neutral and context clues everyone in to the fact that he means Izuku, with whom he just did an explosive, flying duo move.

I think some bkdk fans were keen to see him use the tsundere insult we all love so much, but it just doesn't read right to me. Writing an insult towards Izuku into this kind of line, even an affectionate one, misdirects the aggression and fails to highlight how Katsuki makes a mockery of AFO during their fight.

I really do think it undercuts how, in his big moment of taunting the greatest villain in history, Katsuki brings up making good on a vow he made to Izuku.

And let's not forget that there is a definitive moment where Katsuki references his relationship with Izuku while taunting AFO:

Chapter 406

To roast the villain for his stupidity in misidentifying him, Katsuki loudly announces himself to be Bakugou no Kacchan.

Katsuki proudly identifies himself with the cutesy nickname his childhood friend has used for him their whole damn lives. That's a far cry from somebody who'd insult Izuku just to hype himself up.

So, no, I don't accept "that nerd." I think the leaker just added it to make their translation sound cooler, but they did so at the expense of Katsuki's character. It's tacky, cheap, and not based in any honest reading of the text.

Put the nickname in your fanworks however brings you joy. Really, go for it, I know I sure do!

But let's not pretend Katsuki said it here.

In conclusion

Katsuki's dialogue offers a unique array of challenges to translators. I would never argue that he is easy to translate, and so much of his characterization is expressed in the minutiae of what he says. Much of his dialogue contains layers of meaning, and any translator is going to have to make a call about how to interpret those layers and what to highlight.

I made this post to say my piece about a translation tons of English-speaking fans love. In the process of dissecting what frustrated me about it, I researched and studied and learned so much.

And to be honest with you, I don't know that I have a solution for this line. I thought of a ton of options:

One For All couldn't keep you in the ground... but we're here to step in and finish the job once and for all!!

I promised we'd step in when that guy couldn't handle it on his own... and I fucking meant it!!

After all, what One For All can't handle... he's got us here to handle for him!!

One For All couldn't stop you… so it's a good thing that guy's got us here to step in and finish the job!!

If the guy with One For All can't get it done alone... then we're here take you down for him!!

Maybe One For All couldn't handle the job alone... but our side is still gonna kick your ass!!

Some of them are very fun, and each highlights a different set of priorities: collectivism, connection, coolness, intimidation, and so on.

But you could pick apart my words the same way I picked apart the leaker's and Viz's.

There will never be a one true translation. There can't be. For as many readers as there are, there are just as many interpretations to what Katsuki's words mean and what is important about them.

In every translation, you face loss—loss of information, loss of specificity, loss of ambiguity, loss of emotionality, loss of cultural meaning. Your job as a translator is to lose as little as possible, and to make sure you can stomach the things you do lose.

You also gain things in translation. New meanings, new layers, new cultural implications. By showing the audience what you see and choosing how you say it to them, you add something of yourself to the work. You can't not.

As a translator, I want to keep learning and trying and going beyond. I want to do right by the things I translate. I want to share the things I love with other people and figure out, as best I can, how to make them see what is beautiful about it.

Unlike Bakugou Katsuki, we translators can never achieve a perfect victory.

But it's always worth trying.

[chimielie]

hold ‘em up (above my heart)

summary: Atsumu x Physical Therapist!F!Reader. the sun rises and sets over and over as your relationship progresses from friends to pro yearners to more.

wc: 4.3k

cw: friends with benefits subplot and all that entails; not explicit, just suggestive, reader is fighting for her LIFE in her brain, atsumu is just chilling (not really)

a/n: hi i didn’t die :3

“Hands up,” you say, voice low so as not to disturb the peace of the morning.

Atsumu raises his arms, elbows bent, making a frame of his face. His blond hair is pale, almost white because his little kitchen window faces east and he wakes before it rises above the upper pane. You sidle past him, back to his front, ignoring the weight of his hand as it settles on your hip while you reach up for the granola you keep in the cabinet next to the fridge.

He likes traditional Japanese breakfasts, the savory and umami flavors of natto and rice and miso. You have a sweet tooth and a craving for crunchy food, like a wild animal that needs to grind down its molars. On the days he has work, he settles for an omelette (or scrambled eggs if he fucks it up). You eat the same thing every morning or you'll be sick.

Growing up, Atsumu was never a morning person, but he sleeps better on the nights you're next to him. He doesn't get angry when you slosh milk over the side of his bowl onto his dining table, doesn't snap when you ask him what his plans for the day are. Maybe this is what being an adult is, these steady waters and calm skies.

You don't speak much as you chew, staring into space and thinking the slow thoughts of the exhausted, and he busies himself scrolling through his group messages and social media accounts.

There's a request from a verified account, a retired athlete-turned-model. He knows her name, has seen her in ads, bumped into her at the last Olympics. He clicks on it.

Hey, handsome. I'll be in Osaka this upcoming weekend - let's get a drink!

"I'm gonna shower," you're patting your hair, looking irritated. It always sticks up in the morning, no matter how you sleep on it, a few particular strands defying gravity.

"You should go to work like that," he says, voice still rough even if his mind's woken up. His accent is thicker in the morning, you've told him, but he can't hear it.

"Hell no," you say. "You're the only one who gets to see this morning glory for now."

"I better be," his grin is roguish, running his hand through his own bird's nest. "C'mon, you gonna let me shower with you or what?"

"No, you'll use up all my nice shampoo again!" You fake running to the bathroom, keeping your pace slow enough for him to wrap his arms around your waist and tackle you down, careful to fold himself so that you land on top of him, body between his legs, face cushioned on his chest.

He leaves his phone face up, forgotten on the table.

He's toweling off his hair, dressed in his practice uniform, while you're packing your bag for the day in the kitchen. His apartment is small, way smaller than some of the other guys' on the team, but he grew up crammed into a room with his mom and his brother. He'd toured one penthouse and decided he couldn't live with all that space strangling him.

He'd tried to get Samu to bunk with him like old times, but his brother had just said I'll sleep three meters from your dirty laundry in hell, and that was the end of the argument.

Besides, he has a lot of car bills to pay. He managed to fold another Mazda last month and you've been carpooling in your ancient Toyota while he waits to get license privileges again ever since.

"You got a text, by the way," you say casually, digging through your purse with your lips twisted to the side. "Aha!" You pull out a tube of lipstick triumphantly. "You should respond before you forget."

"Ah, was it Samu?" He asks, crossing back into the bedroom to put away his damp towel.

"Nah, the model," you call. "Sorry, I read your texts."

You're fighting the growing bitterness of the words, trying to sound jaunty and uncaring and casual. The admission of invading his privacy weighs heavily on your shoulders; you can't make yourself look up into his face when he comes into the kitchen.

"I don't care," he shrugs. "You can read whatever you want."

"You shouldn't say that," you try to laugh and wince instead. He just grunts and picks up the phone, swiping away from the conversation and leaving her on read. "I don't have the right, don't I? I shouldn't have—"

"I really don't care," he cuts across your strained attempt at an apology again.

"You should!" You sound like you're about to stamp your foot at him. He doesn't understand why you're so angry; he doesn't bite. "Aren't you gonna get mad? Shouldn't we be fighting?"

"I don't wanna fight," he rubs his large, calloused hand over your shoulder, your upper trapezius, to cup the back of your and pull you into a loose embrace. You stand, dumbfounded, chin pushed into his shoulder, hands at your sides. "Do you? We can if you want to."

"No," you whisper. "Sorry, I—sorry."

"'S okay," he says, digging his thumbs into the tight knots of muscle. "No big deal. Here, you dropped your thingy."

The thingy is the tube of lipstick, a deep berry color, rolling towards the edge of the table. He steps back and squeezes your cheeks in one hands, prompting you to part your lips slightly. He does it how he knows you do, a soft smear on the lower lip and two dabs made sharp by a swipe of his thumbnail on the outer creases, all blended together at the end for a subtle touch of color.

"You look like a frog about to burp," he says when he's done. You laugh so hard you cry.

On the car ride to work, you keep chewing on your lip. He frowns when he notices, all his work bitten off.

You wait for him to get out of the car first, a holdover from the days when you would wait five minutes so no one would notice that you were coming from the same place. In some ways, it's easier that he crashed his car; so convenient that you volunteered to be his chauffeur. He comes to your side, opens your door. You squint at him, jutting your chin out like you're bracing yourself for something.

"I wasn't gonna go out with her," he tells you, a secret between you, him, and the hard asphalt of the MSBY gym's employee parking lot. "Ain't nobody else seein' this in the mornings either. That's all."

He turns around and strides off, leaving you blinking in the morning light.

"Can you move it?" You say, your brows knit together. Hinata grimaces.

"I can bend it, like this—" he curls the injured finger inward. "But it won't stretch out, like this. Ah!"

You release his hand, where you'd applied pressure to the digit. "It's sprained. You're sitting out the rest of practice."

"Aw, but it really doesn't hurt that bad," he protests. You give him a look. "Okay, okay. Can I least do some running and stuff?"

"Do you want to come to practice tomorrow?" You say evenly. He gives you big brown puppydog eyes and you fold like wet paper. "I'll give you some stretches and exercises for your legs that you probably can't fuck up."

"Yay!" He cheers. "Thank you!" He uses an affectionate diminutive of your name with -chan tacked on the end. You laugh and wave him off, walking out of the main gym area toward your office, where you can print him the exercises.

You lean against your desk while the printer huffs temperamentally, taking a long sip of coffee. You should really stop going over to Atsumu's on weeknights, but you've been telling yourself that for well over a year, and it's a lot more convenient since all your clothes and your toothbrush live at his place.

You tell yourself a lot of things when it comes to your blond coworker.

The door to your office slams open and you make an involuntary, high-pitched noise in the back of your throat, focusing hard on keeping the cardboard cup in your hand from jumping with you.

"Sorry, sorry," Bokuto says, his hair drooping dramatically. "It's just really important—Tsumu's hurt!"

You take an inhale so quickly it hurts and burst your coffee cup all over your coat and work pants. Luckily, you take it mostly milk and sugar, so it doesn't burn you, but you don't even really notice it, just shedding the coat and rolling up your sleeves as you stride out the door without hesitation.

Behind you, Bokuto follows, making garbled promises you hear as through water to buy you a house to make up for startling you and ruining your outfit.

You try to take three deep breaths before you enter the gym, knowing you'll be much more helpful calm rather than battling the wall of panic that threatens to overtake you. Atsumu is blocked from your vision by a crowd of his teammates, fluttering around him like a herd of bumblebees.

Iwaizumi is already there, you see with an exhale of relief, ordering everyone around him to stay calm. You motion to the players around him to give him space, hoping your terror doesn't show untowardly on your face, hoping he can feel your singleminded prayer: please be okay.

"Eh?" He has a dopey expression on his face, dopier than usual, anyway. He says your name gleefully, but you're too busy scanning him for visible blood or bone to respond right away. "Nice shirt. Hey, why's your coat off? Were you taking off your clothes in there? Without me?"

"He collided with Sakusa," Iwaizumi tells you. Atsumu reaches for your hand and you stroke your fingertips lightly over the back of it, along the bones and tendons, each touch saying you'll be okay, it's going to be okay.

I'll make it okay.

"Sakusa's shoulder got banged up, you should probably put him on reserve for a couple days," Iwaizumi says. You glance over at the black-haired spiker, who gives you a thumbs-up though his expression is characteristically flat. "Atsumu, though... he fell pretty hard."

You can see that. There's a bruise blooming along the side of his face, like the sloppy trail of your lipstick after a night out. His ankle is swollen, too; the disorientation of the head injury must have impaired the grace of his landing.

You kneel and shift into clinical mode, receding into the comfortable space of your training. You feel along his leg, asking him over and over does it hurt, can you move this, does it hurt when I do this.

"Okay, doc?" His beautiful honey eyes are unfocused. You want to cry. You want to squeeze his hand tighter, but you don't want to hurt him more. "S all good. I'm fine."

You shake your head, grateful it's not worse. Afraid of what you have to say to him.

"That's right, you'll be fine. But the concussion paired with the ankle injury... I don't think it's a good idea for you to return to practice for a month at least."

You squeeze your eyes shut and pull your hands away from him. He probably doesn't want to be touched. He might hate you for this.

What's the point of sleeping with the doc if I don't get special privileges, you imagine him saying, if you're gonna take my life away from me like this. A month of recovery doesn't sound like so much to other people, but you've been working around these volleyball freaks since high school. You know that it's everything to them.

"Okay," Atsumu simply says. You look at him. "You gonna drive me home?"

"If you don't mind," you say softly.

"Yeah, then it's okay," he says, and scoots around, hissing when he forgets and puts pressure on the injured ankle. He leans back, and you catch his head in your lap.

"I'm gonna break my leg," Barnes says from somewhere behind you. "I want the doc to hold me like that."

You hear a thwack and then Iwaizumi's voice: "Sakusa, stop concussing your teammates. L/N only has so much room in her car."

Atsumu recovers more quickly than you expect. You should have known, though; he's always had a strong ability to heal. He rarely gets sick and though he's brash and reckless and sometimes outright stupid, he's lucky. In almost all the inadvisable endeavors you've seen him pull, he almost never gets hurt.

You're not actually a doctor, not that the team believes that. You've been trying to explain that you're a sports medicine physical therapist for the three years you've been working for MSBY and not once has it deterred anyone from calling you doc.

Atsumu was signed six months after you started, and you had only been friends until a year after that. In all that time, you've been the consummate professional at work, never letting your touches linger, never stretching him too deeply, trying not to stare at him like he's just any other player. When he first propositioned you, you tried not to say yes too quickly, as businesslike as possible.

You went into sports medicine because of your sister. She had been a superstar from the moment she stepped foot on a tennis court; even at a young age you saw that she wielded the racket like it was an extension of herself. As the two of you grew in age, you also saw the ways she overextended herself: the swollen knobs of her knees, hidden under frozen packs of peas, the frequent doctor's visits for hyperextension, the tear tracks when she tore her ACL.

You had spent so much of your childhood waiting for her during practice, doing your homework in the bleachers, fielding questions about her play to the uninitiated relatives who came to support her matches that it felt like the most natural course of action to go into a career field that meant you could help her and others like her chase their dreams.

You had also almost exclusively dated athletes as a result. While you were attending university and chasing your certifications, you had been surrounded by two types of people: students and athletes. You had barely any time in your schedule, much less the ability to align it with a similarly crammed med student. Athletes, on the other hand, didn't have an obsession with comparing your knowledge, liked that you were too busy to monitor them all day long, and loved that you had to attend every one of their games because it was literally your job.

By the time you got the position in Osaka, you were beyond over the routine of dating the people in your care. You swore to yourself that you wouldn't mess around with the team and entered a yearlong celibate streak, which Atsumu blew up into a million pieces and never allowed to recover.

To his (and your) credit, the both of you became close friends before ever crossing the boundary of inappropriate conduct. Just because you were strictly business during work hours didn't mean that you, lonely and shy in a new city, were going to turn down your coworkers' offer to go out after practice. You'd gotten to know Meian well and considered Bokuto to be something of a little brother. Then they had traded a couple of players for Atsumu, and the moment he gripped your hand and slapped your shoulder instead of shaking it or bowing like a normal person, you knew that he was going to mean much more to you than any other of your team.

You had fallen quickly into a deep friendship, and his apartment was much closer to the team's favored bars than yours was, so it was just easier for you to go home and crash on his couch. And his couch was gross, because it belonged to a bachelor who had never heard of a steam cleaner, so one night you insisted on sharing the bed, and you had become good friends who cuddled weekly.

It happened like this:

You were the last two left in the booth that had once contained the extremely compressed bodies of several of the largest men in Japan, probably, but they had practice early the next morning and had trickled out, one by one. Atsumu had his head down on the table while you desperately tried to convince him to come home (already you were referring to his apartment as your home without thinking, though only a spare toothbrush and a coat were kept there at the time).

"Please," you said, "I'm so tired. I'm not even drunk anymore."

"I am," Atsumu said, turning his face toward you. "Very."

"I know," you groaned. "Let's go home."

"I can't," he said despondently.

"Why not?"

"Not with you," his words slurred together. "I gotta problem."

"What?" You suddenly felt very, very sick. Maybe you were more drunk than you'd thought.

"Mhm. I gotta apologize, I think."

Oh, you thought. This is it. He knows.

"I've been having," he hiccuped and turned his face into his arms again so that you couldn't hear the next thing he mumbled.

"I can't hear you like that," you say softly. "Please, Atsumu, you can tell me anything."

You've been seeing someone, and she wants me to stop sleeping over. She wants you to stop being friends with me. You need the apartment to yourself to have her over.

"No," he says, turning back to you again, his eyes glossy with drink, his lips pink and just the slightest bit open. "I have been having manly thoughts about you. Unmanly thoughts. Whatever."

"What do you mean?" You'd asked, heart beating fast.

"I wanna have sex with you," he said, and then slammed his forehead against the table until it left a red mark. "I'm sorry, women! It's wrong to dream about kissing your girl friends, I know!"

You ignored his nonsensical shouting and put your hand under his face so he wouldn't injure it.

"Then let's go home so we can have sex," you said. He whipped his head up so fast you worried for his spinal discs.

"You promise?"

You actually didn't have sex that night because he fell asleep as soon as you coerced him into the bed. The next morning, he'd been hungover and ashamed, stuttering and afraid to look you in the eye. You had given him a handful of painkiller pills and waited until he was washing it down with a glass of green juice before you said "I think about having sex with you, too," so that he spewed it all over the floor.

Maybe it was petty, but you needed vengeance for his forcing you to drag him bodily out of that bar the previous night.

After your first time, he said, awkwardly, something about not being able to commit to a relationship at the moment, something about difficulty expressing his feelings, about being too immature to settle. A script you were as familiar with as the back of your hands. You turned to him, swiping sweaty strands of hair out of your face, glowing with a smile as he stuttered his way through it, and said I know the game. We don't have to talk about it.

He insisted that it wasn't a game, that you deserved transparency and to be treated well, and you rolled over on top of him and kissed him until he forgot his own name.

During the month-long recovery period, you had resumed the friendship you had had in the early months of knowing each other, refusing adamantly to do anything strenuous or even unsportsmanly while you had to work much more closely together than ever before. You insist on sleeping at your own apartment for the first week, afraid of aggravating his injuries further, until he threatens to walk to you with his pillow and sleepover bag. You bring him food near-daily and call his brother when your schedule prevents you from doing so.

He's diligent about doing the exercises and stretches you assign him to bring him back to full functionality. Towards the end of his detention (you pinch him for using such a dramatic word), you start taking walks together, in the evenings on work days and the mornings on days off.

You keep expecting him to ask for space, to push you out of his daily routine, to realize that he's bored because he knows everything about you; there's nothing left to hide. Nothing except the one unspoken thing, the one you're sure he knows but you can't acknowledge.

New growth is beginning to sprout on the trees, grey wood dotted with little specks of bright green. Atsumu walks without a limp, now, his posture straight but relaxed, his hands shoved into his pockets.

His body is healed, but his heart aches. You're wearing casual clothes, big soft pants that billow around your legs and a black shirt with his name in yellow letters, and you look far away, worried. No matter how many times he smooths the pinch between your brows away with his thumb, no matter how many times he asks what's wrong, you refuse him a straight answer.

He wonders if he's pulled you too close, in this month dying of boredom, forbidden from running and setting and anything that could damage his brain. He still gets to see you in the morning, your back arching as you stretch and yawn, the crinkle of your nose when your feet touch the cold floor outside of bed, which is probably slowly draining all the function from his grey matter.

You're wearing gloves, your extremities sensitive to the cold. He takes your left hand, tugs it off. When he tangles your fingers together, you look up at him, questioningly, that knot between your brows back again.

"What, woman, now I can't hold your hand?"

You stop walking. He curses his big, fat mouth. He always chooses the wrong thing to say, always has.

Osamu used to ask him what he was supposed to say to girls. Atsumu, proud big brother that he wanted to be, would puff out his chest and give him paragraphs of advice, and Osamu almost never used it. There were so few opportunities for him to advise Samu, though; he was so self-sufficient, maybe more than Atsumu had ever been. He was more introverted, less brash and crass and rude. Sometimes, when Atsumu ceded his insistence on being the wiser one with six more minutes of life experience, he wished he could be more like his twin.

"Do you love me like that, Atsumu?" You ask, mouth pressed into an unhappy line, already pulling away from him like you were expecting him to say something completely insane. "Because I understood fucking, and being friends with benefits, but I don't know if I get going out for food and holding hands and—"

"Like?" He says, refusing to let your hand slip from his. "I love you. That's it."

"Oh," you say, and your mouth is twisted up like you're searching for something he can't see again, but the crease in your forehead is gone.

"You gonna go out with me?" He says, and it comes out way easier than he ever thought it would, and if choosing the rest of his life is as simple a decision as chasing volleyball and you has been, growing up sounds way better than he thought. "'Cause I wanna do it all with you."

Once Atsumu's allowed to drink again, it's time for the real volleyball season to start, and his diet becomes much stricter and your schedule much longer, but eventually the two of you find yourselves back at the same old bar with the rest of the team.

"You're a scrub with no hope of survival in the zombie apocalypse," sneers Atsumu. This is a common topic of conversation among them; each one vying to be the leader of your hypothetical ragged survivors' team.

"I could win a fight against you with one hand tied behind my back," snits Tomas, who usually is oblivious to Atsumu's provocations but gets a lot feistier when he's drunk, to the setter's delight.

"Please don't," says Bokuto, his hair deflating in fear of his friends fighting.

"Haven't you had enough dick measuring," says Sakusa, holding a mug in front of his face like it'll prevent him from seeing Atsumu's and thus pretending he's not there.

"Have you guys ever done that?" You perk up, looking around. "Isn't that supposed to be a locker room ritual?"

"In high school, maybe," snorts Barnes. "We're way too old for that now."

"Yeah, we're real mature," insists Bokuto, his hair bouncing back up into its familiar two-pronged shape. You’ve long wondered how it does that, but if working with MSBY has taught you anything, it’s that science can’t explain everything.

You nod, taking another sip of your beer.

“So how big is it?” Atsumu addresses Sakusa and you squeeze your eyes shut. You just got him to start attending team bonding nights.

“Small. Leave me alone.” You choke on your drink, spluttering as you make eye contact with Sakusa and the tiny, prideful smirk on his face.

The rest of the team dissolves into laughter.

"What about you?" Hinata, his cheeks rosy, says to Atsumu. Before you can think, your drunken mouth speaks for you.

"You can’t have it, I called dibs!”

You slap a hand over your mouth, mortified. You can’t even begin to think about the rest of your coworker’s reactions. You haven’t even disclosed your relationship yet! Atsumu guffaws.

“I don’t think anyone’s trying to take it from ya, doll.”

[kteezy997]

Beyond Business-part twelve//t.c.

Warnings: smut, cursing, smut, cum on body, smut, fluff, dirty talk

This one is long, but it is a smutfest

“You don’t really own any skirts, do you?” Timmy asked you randomly that Monday morning. Luckily, it was only the two of you at his place.

“What?” you frowned slightly at him, having to look up from the laptop.

“Skirts. You never wear them.” he said plainly.

“No? Is that a new requirement or something?” you joked.

He pressed his lips together, shrugging, “Maybe just a suggestion. Take my card to whatever stores you like and buy yourself some skirts.”

“And why should I do that?”

He smirked, walking around the kitchen island to where you were sitting, leaning in close, he said, “Because your boyfriend needs easy access.” He placed his hand on your denim-clad thigh, slowly letting it roam inward.

You gasped as he hovered over your pussy.

“See? Wouldn’t it be better if your jeans weren’t in the way right now?” he pressed his fingers against you through the material, circling slowly.

You swallowed, clearing your throat, “Timothée.”

He leaned in closer to your face, “I want you right now.”

“But we’re working.” you fake protested.

“It can wait.” he said, pulling your chair out, grabbing you by the arm and throwing you over his shoulder.

……

“Aw, yesss!” you cried, gripping the sheets hard as Timmy had you bent over the bed. His hips smacked your ass rapidly as his cock plunged in and out of you.

“Oh, baby…my baby girl. Fuck, you feel so good.” his voice quivered with pleasure. He dug his fingers into your hips, holding you up as you were trembling and unable to keep up on your knees.

You threw your hair back with a huff and caught glimpse of the alarm clock on the nightstand, “Fuck! Timmy, Josh Safdie is calling you in five minutes!”

“That’s all the time we need.” he assured you, ramming his cock in you even faster.

You yelped in surprise, your toes curling as he brought you over the edge of an orgasm.

……….

Timmy had his phone to his ear, talking to his director as he wiped his cum off your belly with a damp cloth.

You couldn’t help but giggle at situation.

He gave you a mock angry look and you covered your mouth, still laughing. “No, Josh, it’s not a bad time. That’s just my assistant being a goofball. But yeah, that all sounds great.”

As he wrapped up the phone call, you took the used cloth to the hamper in the bathroom, using the facility before returning to Timmy’s bedroom. You couldn’t help but notice how comfortable you had become in his place. Yes, it was the setting in which you worked often, but it started to feel like home. He felt like home.

You walked back into his room, grabbing his big t-shirt that he had been wearing earlier, but it had been thrown to the floor. You put the shirt on and sat on the bed as he was saying goodbye to Josh.

“Hey, that’s my shirt.” he teased.

“Sorry, do you want me to take it off?” you smiled cheekily.

Timmy shrugged, eyebrows raised, “I mean, you look great in clothes, but I think I like you out of them just a little bit more.”

“Hm, of course you do you.” you said with a playful eye roll.

“So, are ready to go to Tokyo with me?” he asked you nonchalantly and climbed onto you.

“Tokyo? So filming is still on for Marty Supreme?”

“Yeah, everything is being settled now." he rested his arms over your belly, setting his chin there. "And I want you to come with me.”

“As your assistant or…?”

“My girlfriend and my assistant.” he affirmed. “I need you there with me. You help me with so much and I’ll have a shit ton of new lines to go over."

“If I’m getting paid, then okay.” you grinned.

“Oh, that’s the only reason you’ll go, huh?” he gently bumped his nose on yours.

“What other reasons are there?” you asked coyly.

"Hmm, let’s see, there's the Japanese culture to explore, yummy food, then there’s the A Complete Unknown premiere, and um,” his eyes got a darker as his lips turned up into a smirk, “we can fuck over there." he smirked, moving up your body to kiss your lips.

You moaned softly as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, “Mm, fucking,” you spoke between warm kisses, “is that a promise?” You pecked his lips.

“I would fuck you every hour if I could.” his voice was low, he was still hungry for more even though you just got done making love.

You blushed, “Do you love me that much?”

He nodded, “Yes.”

“Good.” your heart began to race, you knew it was the right time, “Because I love you, Timothée Chalamet.”

His eyes brightened back up, and he smiled wide, “You do?”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean-"

He cut you off with a kiss. He took your face in his hands, “Mm, I’m definitely fucking you again, right now.”

You laughed as he assumed the missionary position, holding your thighs. “We’re not going to get any work done today.” you remarked.

……

The next day, Timmy again brought up the topic of you buying some skirts for work, so you decided it’d be best to oblige him. While out running errands for him, you went to some clothing stores, picked out and tried on skirts and purchased a few with his credit card.

It felt strange, carrying items for yourself. You were used to shopping for Timmy, but then again, maybe this was for him. It was his request, after all.

Once you started wearing the skirts, he seemed quite pleased. You had a black pencil skirt that hugged all the right places, and he would take full advantage, running his hand along your hip as you walked by, cupping your ass when he stopped behind you.

One day, you’d worn a mini skirt, plaid patterned and pleated. He took you in the kitchen within minutes of you starting the workday. He pushed you up against the counter, but he didn’t remove your skirt, he just pushed your panties to the side and slid his cock right in from behind.

Timmy railed you, brought your leg up, placing it onto the counter so he could push in deeper. “Fuck.” he cursed under his breath. He then held you closer, sinking his teeth into your neck.

Your pussy started to convulse around his cock, you whimpered, holding onto his arm and bracing yourself with your other hand on the countertop.

He fucked you mercilessly, lifting you off your feet.

You moaned like a pornstar. He rammed his cock into your g spot over and over, and you clenched your eyes shut, seeing stars. You let go, and your body shook with release. You heard Timmy curse again as fluids sprang out from between the two of you.

……..

“So, your flight leaves at-" you were talking to Timmy when his photographer friend, Aidan, came waltzing in.

“Damn, y/n, since when do you wear skirts? You look fine as hell!” he exclaimed, joining you and Timmy in the living room.

“Hey!” Timmy smacked him hard on the shoulder, “Show some fucking respect.”

“Yo, I’m sorry!” Aidan apologized, rubbing the spot where Timmy hit him, “I didn’t mean any disrespect, just not used to seeing her legs. My bad.”

“It’s all good.” you said with an awkward chuckle.

Aidan sat down on the couch and you shot Timmy a look, and he only shrugged at you in response.

“Well, I’ll just leave you guys alone to hang out. I’m gonna go home.” You looked at Timmy with a nod, “See you when you get back?”

He smiled kindly, “Yep. Miss you already.” he said with your signature boss-assistant banter tone.

……..

Sleeping in your own bed for the first time in days was strange. It proved to be difficult for you to fall asleep without Timmy’s warmth. You never expected to be so consumed by a man, but you weren’t upset by it.

You were in a deep sleep when you were awoken by your phone ringing. You groaned in annoyance, thinking to yourself, “Timothée, I could kill you right now.”

Sure enough, it was him. “Yes, Timothée Hal,” you answered as you put the phone to your ear, “what could you possibly want at this hour?” you looked at the screen, “One a.m. Excellent timing.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” he said innocently, “I really didn’t want to wake you up, but I want you.” He didn’t sound needy in a sexual way, but in a way that exuded his need for your presence. “Can I come in, please?”

“What do you mean? Are you here?” you sat up in the bed.

“Yeah I’m literally at your door. Won’t you let me in?”

“Timothée.” you grumbled.

………

“Hey, baby girl.” he said when you opened the door.

“Hello, it’s one in the morning. We are going to sleep.” you said tiredly yet firmly. You held your hand out to him.

He smiled softly as he took your hand and you lead the way to your bedroom. “I wish you were coming to the Paris premiere with me.”

“But you have to see Kylie while you’re there.” you pointed out.

Timmy groaned, “Ugh, don’t remind me.”

Once you were in bed together and settled, he spooned you, and his mouth was on your neck.

“Timmy, I have to sleep. I told you that’s what we were doing.” you said, holding firm.

“I know, but…I want you to ride me.”

“Mm, in the morning.”

“No, now.” he insisted.

“Timothée.” you warned.

“Yeah, and you can say my name. Take my cock and scream my name.” he combed your hair back, kissing your shoulder.

You were getting annoyed…and turned on. Sleep was getting further from your mind. You rolled over to your other side to face Timmy. “What cock?” you moved your hand down, palming him through his boxers. “This cock?” you bit your lip.

“That one, yes.” he smirked.

……..

You were both now completely naked, under your sheets. You bounced on his cock as he lay underneath you. You moaned lightly each time his cock sheathed up into you.

Timmy ran his hands up your tummy, squeezing your breasts, “Yes, just like that.” he praised, “Aidan thinks you’re hot, but you’re mine.”

“No,” you panted, “he was just being nice to me.” You put your hands on his chest, moving your hips.

“No, no, he wants you like this. He wants your body, your pussy, your sweet mouth, your tits bouncing in his face. He wants you the way I get to have you. But I’m the only one who gets this tight cunt. Isn’t that right?”

The way he spoke about your body as his cock was rutting into you got you so worked up and hot. You were enjoying the way his cock was destroying you.

“Hey.” he tapped your cheek, “I asked you a question. This cunt belongs to me, right?”

“Yes, yes, pookie. Only you.” you were drunk on his cock, and you were so out of it.

“Pookie? Maybe don’t use that during sex, babes.”

You whined as friction was building inside of you, “Sorry. But yes, you own this pussy. Fuck, your cock is so big.” You moaned, scratching his chest as you came.

You let out a big exhale, then collapsed on his chest.

Timmy kissed your head, and you were asleep within minutes with him still inside of you.

February 9, 2025

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake @imnotoverlyobsessive @timhalchala @heatherpi

[karasublog]

Sae Itoshi and his favorite movie "Taxi Driver" (1976)

I watched the movie because it's Sae Itoshi's favorite and I wanted to know why that is the case📽🚕 There must be a reason why he chose such a problematic and profound movie as his favorite. Also, I keep seeing comments from people who think it's just about sex and strange characteristics of the main character (because they also think Sae's simply a weird person and has weird preferences). That's simply not true. It's not even the slightest bit about such topics. So I'll now briefly analyze why the film and the plot can REALLY be applied to Sae 🎬🧳⚽️

The main character of the movie "Taxi Driver" was in the Vietnam War and comes back home, but suffers from depression, loneliness, existential crisis and insomnia💤💭

❓️ Question that arises here:

Does Sae feel the same? Was what he experienced in Spain 🇪🇦 something like a war for him? If so, that would be a pretty strong comparison. Is he comparing his time in Spain (from the age of 13 to 17) to a terrible war, i.e. a traumatic experience? Does that mean he is comparing himself to a traumatized soldier?

The main character develops an obsession with the social decay and the "dirt" of the city. He feels unseen and ignored as he drives people around in his taxi, slowly realizing that the whole society is like this, not seeing anyone and only caring about themselves. The most important thing here: He begins fantasizing about "cleansing" such "filth" from the streets (drug addicts and people he drives around in his cab) 💭🚮

❓️ Question that arises here:

Sae often talks about Japan this way. Does he actually mean the footballers or the bosses of Japanese soccer, as they are largely responsible for the players not being so good and ambitious? Sae thinks Europe is better and basically sees Japan more as a "soccer development country". ⚽️🇯🇵👎🏼

The main character eventually falls in love with a pretty, blonde woman, thinking she's the perfect woman and the one he wants 💘👱🏼‍♀️ But he can't express his feelings because he has never learned how. Afterwards, he scares the blonde off with his strange behavior, even though he was interested in a relationship 💔 What exactly happened: He takes her out on a date and takes her to a porn theater. She's disgusted by him and leaves (he tried apologizing, but she stops talking to him) -> He simply didn't even know, that she wouldn't like that kind of date ... 🍿📽

❓️ Question that arises here:

The main character of the movie doesn't know what the woman is interested in because he never learned it. Does Sae feel the same way? In his youth, Sae was only confronted with soccer, actually he still is. He doesn't know anything else. He's probably never had anything to do with love. Does he see himself in the main character of the movie? Inexperienced, later paranoid and always lonely?

In the Egoist Bible, he mentions that if he didn't play soccer, he would live a happy life. It sounds like he's saying that his entire youth was ruined by it (largely by Spain 🇪🇦).

•

There are of course other important topics in the movie that I haven't mentioned now, but these are the most important ones to associate with Sae Itoshi.

❓️ In general, everyone's wondering: What exactly happened in Spain and what traumatized Sae so much, or what made him turn from a striker to a midfielder? Hopefully we'll find out soon! Sae is such an interesting character, I'd like to see more of him. Thanks for reading, guys. Ciao, ciao.

[sirhamburrger]

you’ve always been good in english without needing to try too hard - after all, you have spoken it for many years. the grammar and vocabulary taught in japanese high schools is frankly much too easy for you, and you get perfect scores more often than not.

but along comes rin itoshi, and suddenly you don’t feel all that confident in yourself anymore. pop quiz on the latest literature text? he’s writing just a little more on his answer sheet than you, and you’re fairly certain his answers are better, too.

it makes you grow to hate him. you’re not proud of it, but you can’t help the way jealousy rears its ugly head and says bad things about his bangs when you pass him in the hallway. or the way he sounds when he scoffs at any minor inconvenience. or the way the midday sunlight reflects off his side profile and makes it look like he’s glowing. or the way his infuriatingly long lower lashes are all too obvious when he glances at you.

but it all comes to a head when the teacher pairs the two of you up for a class project, and he’s stepping into your bedroom and sitting in your swivel chair.

“what are you looking at me like that for?” he says rather stiffly in perfect english.

“what’re you looking at me like that for?” you fire back. you shift uncomfortably under his piercing gaze, crossing your legs as you settle onto your bed.

“you should know i’d rather not be here,” he says, not even having the decency to look you in the eye. you fight the urge to roll your eyes at him, then realise you have free will and do it anyway. he simply maintains eye contact with you, apathetic as ever.

you clench your jaw. “you’re just an insipid little asshole, aren't you?"

he turns and just stares.

"what did you say to me?"

“forget it,” you sigh, rubbing your temples. “let’s just get started already -”

“no, i’m serious.” now it’s your turn to stare at him, utterly baffled as you frown at his strangely… serious expression. “could you repeat what you said?”

“i, uh, called you an asshole. an insipid asshole, to be exact.”

“and that means?”

”lacking in interest or flavour, i guess. just - boring, to put it simply.”

he’s scribbling away in his notebook now - from where he procured it, you’ll never know - and you watch on in silence, mildly curious.

“i’ve kept notebooks like this since i was twelve,” he says, deadpan, having predicted the question you were about to ask. “we can’t all naturally have large vocabularies like you.”

and this makes you start to think that maybe, just maybe, the high-and-mighty rin itoshi isn’t really as arrogant as you thought after all.

every meeting after that is less tense, and you find yourself opening up to him more and more. talking about teachers, classmates, other school things. sometimes even about his soccer and your own interests. and every time you see him, you’ve got a new word for him to learn. (some of them are rather unflattering, but he doesn’t seem to mind his expanding vocabulary.)

and when you see him on national television playing in some neo egoist league, you feel like a proud mother hearing him use the very english insults you’ve taught him on his opponents.

(it’s also kind of hot, but you’re not going to admit that to his face.)

[almostthursdayy]

Do you have any facts about L in Death Day? Or maybe stuff that's backstory-related?

I just wanna know more about your interpretation of him because you never miss + I love his DD design so very much :']

got really excited about this ask and ended up making a whole family tree + collage of memories from L’s childhood. . . whoops! ( i already know tumblr gonna chew and EAT these images so click for better quality lolol )

sphiel ( + alt arts ) about family tree 🌳 below the read more!

🌳 LAWLIET FAMILY TREE

first off, everyone’s wreath is based off their ethnicity. if someone has more than one ethnicity ( literally like 75% on the diagram ) their wreath is like some kind of mutant almagamation hybrid lovechild tree of the different kinds of trees.

>> also if they are dead, so is their wreath! and they’re also desaturated / greyed out. . . if they’re dead and crying, it means they were murdered.

>> and also each limb and each little leaf bush signifies something.

>> also i made a 4 minute long tiktok video speed explaining this you can click to see here lol

i’ll go L outwards for this, i hope you enjoy!!

🍰 LOVE ‘ L ‘ LAWLIET

european ( english oak ) , japanese ( japanese cedar ), ghanian ( cocoa tree ) , thai ( golden shower tree )

KOFI, biological mother: strong connection besides death. smarts came from her, she’s an intellectual lady who everyone always told him he looked just like her when she was alive.

VINCENT, biological father: also strong connection besides death. got his conviction and radicalism from him ( also he’s completely based on canon L’s looks ). L always thought he looked more like him than his mom.

WATARI, adoptive father: very strong connection, relies on this man for literally everything. very unorthodox father-son relationship, but L would call watari his father.

M, wife: oouughhhh he’s in love with her strange ways and peculiar looks. L’s type is interesting people, unpredictable folks who can pull the rug out from under him. . . M’s just that.

NEAR, biological daughter: his little princess, isn’t she beautiful? if near has a bad day, L’s having a bad day. currently he’s having the biggest ego trip right now because near wants to be just like him. and his selfish immature side kind of loves that he created his number 1 fan.

MELLO, adoptive son: that’s his boy, his interesting little guy that he totally doesn’t study the reaction of in every interaction they have. ( frankly most interactions L has he subconsciously treats as tests on the other ) but this kid interests him, so he’s very welcome to stick around and be his son, his little prince.

ROGER, father-in-law-figure: ‘ everytime we interact, i deduce you are a little less qualified for the job watari has given you. ‘

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ watari & L’s connection line is bountiful on his side to show the benefits of he and watari’s relationship. there is a small branch at the base of the limb to resemble somebody else L had a somewhat similar relationship with once upon a time. but shes not pictured.

➡️➡️ his wreath is covered in flowers, cocoa pods, and leaves to symbolize that he should have a very long life ahead of him.

➡️➡️ the small branch shooting off L & M’s love line is to represent his effort to connect to mello.

💫 KOFI PÍÈSÍE ‘ PAPRIKA ‘ PEPRAH-LAWLIET

ghanian ( cocoa tree ) , thai ( golden shower tree )

VINCENT, husband: she loved this man to bits! oh just the absolute most! it was a storybook romance truly, too good for this earth- - no one got her quite like her do <3

L, biological son: her pretty little boy, she was gonna make sure he was safe and protected in this big scary world no matter what! couldn’t wait to see what her little smartie grew up to be.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ no leaves and her cocoa pods are rotty because she is very very dead. . . all of her branches represent family members she had, her connection to them is severed in some form or way.

🎨 VINCENT ‘ DO ‘ LAWLIET

european ( english oak ) , japanese ( japanese cedar )

KOFI, wife: his first muse, his eternal flame, good christ he loved her to to the point of dedicating everything to her. all his paintings revolved around her in some form of way. often by including the stars she was so fond of.

L, biological son: if vincent was the moon, kofi was the sun, L was all the little tinsy stars. his one in a billion little guy. like kofi, vincent was also steadfast in L being able to protect himself from the big scary world. he was so proud of the little man he was becoming.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ no leaves because he is very very dead. . . and not really any branches due to a complete lack of family besides wife & son.

➡️➡️ one spikey for each person he’s gravely pissed off. . . three spikes lead to kofi for those hateful individuals who also despise her just by marrying him. and two spikes lead to L for two absolutely hateful sons of bitches who loathe L aswell.

🗝️ QUILLISH ‘ WATARI ‘ WAMMY

european ( english oak )

L, adoptive son: ah yes, his little prodigy that really should get out of the house more. . . fortunately, there’s a solution to that. . . just making him go! which L doesn’t seem to whine and complain about like he did once he upon a time, years ago. seems his boy has finally grown into a man that understands, whether he likes it or not, engaging in more civilian experiences is a necessity for he and his family’s health.

➡️➡️ watari doesn’t see the care he still puts into L now as continuing his fatherly care. it’s strictly as his butler / righthand. . . watari does not take payment for this work though as he ‘ has all he could ever want already ‘.

ROGER, life-long friend / father-in-law-figure: watari believes wholeheartedly roger can run the orphanage they built from the ground together. it’s too much faith and belief, really. so much that it blinds him to seeing how much roger is NOT qualified for this.

M, daughter-in-law: changed so much since the day she walked into wammy’s. . . he’s watched her grow from a much farther distance than L. he’s happy with the progress she’s made in her health from the sickly little girl who needed the orphanages help. happy to be her butler and listening ear when need be.

NEAR & MELLO, adoptive grandchildren: oh these children are much easier to please than L was at his age. . . but maybe that’s just the years of experience of handling L speaking. want a toy? got it. new puzzle? right on the way. need to be driven to soccer practice? hop in the car.

➡️➡️ since near isn’t the ultimate sweet tooth like L, and mello only really likes chocolate worth sweets, watari very much so enjoys making them treats that leave the comfort zone of L’s sugar craving.

KOFI & VINCENT, adoptive son’s biological parents: he bets they were wonderful people.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ no leaves on his wreath to signify he is old as a fart. but his longest branches have leaves to indicate that those connections are strong and he does enjoy them!

➡️➡️ each branch signifies a person not shown in watari’s life. specifically the one connected to his wreath is for family no longer here. the ones all along his line ‘ connected ‘ to roger is representative of other colleagues and friends. and the branches on his connection line to L resemble other children watari had a bond with as a caregiver. though none of them were strong, or made it as far, as his relationship with his son, L.

🥀 MASATOSHI ‘ M ‘ MIYAKE

european ( english oak ) , japanese ( japanese cedar )

AKUMI, biological mother: M only knows her through journal entries akumi started to write at the beginning of her pregnancy, like a baby scrapbook! M treats that thing like her bible. . . akumi was very excited to be a mother. . . such a shame she died right at the start of what should’ve been their jounrey together, huh?

KINSHU, biological father: M also never got to meet him. he died before she was born trying to protect akumi & her. his death is what caused the stress that killed akumi. so it’s all just truly unfortunate.

ROGER, father-figure: spent the most time with her during her years at wammy’s out of any other caregiver. since she was ‘ the easiest kids to deal with ‘ ( something she wore with honor back then, now doesn’t like to be reminded about ). M had once hoped one day roger would adopt her like watari did with L, now she’s glad he didn’t. as he continues to fumble his interactions with her ‘ not so easy to handle ‘ children. . .

L, husband: the weird little freak that lives in the walls of her manor. he intrigues her with his obtuse behavior and strange existence. . . but no seriously she’s head over heels for this scratchy beast. loves how much he spoils her rotten

NEAR, biological daughter: her precious girl, named near because she’s so near and dear to her heart, her little smartie pants whose just so goddamn smart. works herself happily to the bone to ensure near’s receiving the best care all around.

MELLO, adoptive son: her precious boy, her marshmallow, her little angel who always has a reasoning for his every obtuse action in her eyes. same with mello, M’s working round the clock to give him the best life a kid like him can have.

GEVANNI, little-brother-figure: sees him once a year at christmas but it’s like no time has passed every single year. first kid she connected with after becoming a caregiver at wammy’s at 18. but really was more like his stern older sister than somebody responsible for his wellbeing ( he was already a late teen when they met. . . wammy’s really wasn’t given the time to undo all the shit he went through beforehand )

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ the way i depicted the japanese cedar doesn’t really have branches or ‘ leaves ‘ like the others- - but each little flowery looking thing represents somebody from her past or another relationship she has that isn’t depicted. . .

➡️➡️ her and roger’s connection isn’t nearly as strong as L’s and watari’s, and the three flowers on her end / three leaves on his represents a ‘ three chances ‘ mentality with his behavior.

➡️➡️ her and gevanni’s connection line is weak and nontouching due to the sheer distance between them. as gevanni kicked bricks and moved to the U.S.A. basically the second after he turned 18. still, it’s there, they still care about eachother.

⌛️ AKUMI HATO

japanese ( japanese cedar )

KINSHU, lover: she had a thing for ghostly men who say cryptic shit. and that’s exactly the type of man kinshu was. her love for him ran hot. really, the world wasn’t ready for this kind of lover. and really, her entire world shattered into a million little pieces when he died. . .

M, biological daughter: oh her precious girl, she knows M was going to go on to do great things. and do very very well for herself. after all, she is her daughter, it’s practically fated she’ll take the world by storm.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ every dead flower was a family member akumi had that didn’t take M in after she died. fortunately, as akumi doesn’t like her other family anyhow!

🕊️ KINSHU MIYAKE

japanese ( japanese cedar )

AKUMI, lover: he would do anything for her, he’s kiss the dirty ground she walks on. he’d rob every bank, he’d capture two of every animal, a true yearner.

M, biological daughter: the little ruler of his life in the making. he couldn’t wait to meet her, no doubt he was never more excited for something in his life. . . shame he never got to meet her, but he wouldn’t take back what he sacrificed to keep her safe.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ like akumi, each dead flower is a relative that didn’t take M in. which he would also be glad about, as he hated his family also. . . too loud- - too stupid- - too barbaric.

🫚 ROGER RUVIE

european ( english oak )

WATARI, life-long friend / father-in-law-figure: what would life be without his best bud in it? literally have been friends since roger can remember. and has basically just followed watari’s close footsteps wherever he went. ‘ you want to open an orphanage in the rubble of ww2? okay! ‘ , ‘ you want me to work there and generally help / care for the children? okay! ‘ , ‘ you want to change the mission of the orphanage to give care to the most misfortunate kids in the world? okay! ‘ , ‘ you want to retire and leave this place full of deeply troubled children in my care because you trust me and believe i enjoy this line of work? okay! ‘. roger knows damn well he doesn’t like kids. . . but watari doesn’t gotta know that.

M, daughter-figure: she was so easy to handle when she was younger. why is she so difficult now??? why are her children. . . the way that they are. . .? roger can’t believe the girl he once knew happily spends her days wrangling these two little goblins. . . and why are they not biting her but keep trying to bite me??

L, son-in-law-figure: ‘ oh L, watari’s pride and joy. you’re probably why your children are so weird. ‘

NEAR & MELLO, grandchildren-figure: ‘ why won’t you hug me but will hug watari? ‘

GEVANNI, family-friend-figure: ‘ hey you! i remember you! you were a real piece of work back then! haha! ‘

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ roger still has a lot of leaves on his wreath to signify he has a lot more life to live.

➡️➡️ same rules as watari’s, the little branches of his connecting line resemble children roger has had a similar relationship than what he has with M. but none of them have gone on as well / long as with M. >> the branches off his connection line to watari represents friends in similar vein. and both connectinng lines have leaves to symbolize the strength in them.

🌥️ ‘ NEAR ‘ RIVER MIYAKE-LAWLIET

european ( english oak ) , japanese ( japanese cedar ), ghanian ( cocoa tree ) , thai ( golden shower tree )

M, biological mother: oh, so this is where she got her brashness and attitude. near is glad this trait passed down, a lot less people try to tread on her when she’s got generational venom.

➡️➡️ near, whether she aware of it or not, puts a solid effort into what M says and asks of her. when often the words of others are sent into the shredder of near’s mind. this is because she loves this woman, that’s her momma, one of her only friends.

L, biological father: oh this is her idol right now! her own father has checked off every box on deserving near’s respect and admiration with flying colors! she wants to be just like him! she wants to do what he does and how he does it! she wants to be the next L!

MELLO, adoptive brother: she thinks he’s interesting, and looks up to him in her own unique way. he doesn’t know that though, and she ain’t gonna tell him.

➡️➡️ near enjoys shadowing mello’s activities, not very much so participating, but spectating. the cause and effect of what he does fascinates her.

WATARI, adoptive grandfather: ‘ yay the toy guy, thank you for the toy. yeah your gifts put me at ease enough that we can hug for a solid three seconds. ‘

ROGER, grandfather-figure: ‘ don’t touch me, don’t talk to me, you say nothing of value. don’t whine about it either, it’s your fault you are the way you are. ‘

GEVANNI, family-friend-figure: she thinks he’s very much so cool as fuck. he’s literally the alternative older cousin with the kickass car and laid back attitude. who, just like her, has interests outside of what would be deemed normal for who he is. . . basically, he’s everything she wishes she could be. but won’t be, because her brain just isn’t built to compute like his.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ not much to go off of because she’s just a teensy thing. . . but under the flags is the very first flower, pointed at gevanni. meant to symbolize the importance of their relationship to her that will last years to come.

🍫 MIHAEL ‘ MELLO ‘ LAWLIET

croatian ( slovanian oak ) , european ( english oak )

M, adoptive mother: his confidant, his protector. didn’t give up on him when everyone else did. he’s too little and damaged to really express that he’s grateful for her, but one day he will. for now, his continuous reliance on her will just have to be proof enough that he trusts her.

L, adoptive father: oh this guy is cool. . . THIS GUY IS FAMOUS!! mello wants to be the next L right now, but as a better and brighter successor, he wants to be the BEST! and he’ll do whatever it takes to win L’s affection and ensure this future is his!

NEAR, adoptive sister: ‘ augh! don’t you see i’m trying to become my own person? damnit! stop following me around!!! “ “ . . . oh no wait, don’t go, watch this totally epic prank i’m about to pull you’ve love it! “

LILLIE, biological aunt: heaven has to be real because his aunt really deserves it. he misses her the absolute most. . .

WATARI, adoptive grandfather: ‘ yay the guy that gives me chocolate even after i’ve been cut off for the day. sure i’ll let you hug me because of these positive experiences we’ve had. don’t expect a hug back though, i’m not a pansy. ‘

ROGER, grandfather-figure: ‘ M & L said i can bite you if you try to force me into a hug again. but i’m just gonna do it right now anyways because i don’t like the look on your face. ‘

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ his wreath is growing little acorns to signify his growth since entering the family. that’s why there are so many around the knot that connects him to near, M & L.

➡️➡️ the connecting line to him and his aunt is force cut, but still there, and still strong. he already has two branches trying to grow towards her.

➡️➡️ the little branches jabbing into near’s wreath symbolizes how they don’t always get along that well. and they’re growing from mello’s side despite their spats being a two person effort because near’s very good at manipulating situations into looking like she’s just an unfortunate passerby. especially with mello who is still dealing with lots and lots of big emotions. . .

➡️➡️ two of the little acorns growing represents matt but i ain’t gonna tell you which:3c

📿 LILLIE KEEHL

croatian ( slovanian oak )

MELLO, biological nephew: oh her little buddy, it should’ve just been him and her from the very start. lillie’s every rotty little fiber is tensed not knowing if he’s safe from her horrid sister and wretched brother-in-law. . .

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ what you should expect at this point. no leaves because she’s dead, branches symbolize family not shown. her branches reach in mello’s direction always.

💰STEPHEN ‘ GEVANNI ‘ LOUD

european ( english oak ) , japanese ( japanese cedar )

M, big-sister-figure: gevanni once rejected M’s proposal of joining the family. as he didn’t want family holding him back. still, despite his efforts to stay hidden in the darkest little crevices of the world, M manages to get him an invitation for christmas dinner every year. and he RSVP’s every single time.

L, brother-in-law-figure: ‘ god you’re strange. . . i can see why M likes you. ‘

NEAR & MELLO, niece-&-nephew-figure: ‘ hey kids, wanna hear about the time i broke into this super big important museum and stole a statue bust worth millions??? oh, just near? fine by me-! ‘

ROGER, grandfather-figure: ‘ every family’s gotta have a guy like you around, roger, it just ain’t the full experience without the weird grandpa. ‘

WATARI, grandfather-figure: ‘ you may be responsible for leaving roger in charge of wammy’s, and that might have been a crazy decision, but god do you make a good strawberry shortcake. ‘

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ each little leafy tendril is a connection gevanni has. BUT NOT FAMILY! he doesn’t have any of that. . . he’s a lone wolf. . . an alpha male, if you will.

➡️➡️ still, the connection to M is there, and he is developing a strong connection with near, slowly.

🌳 yay, thank god, i’m done. this is so long, but i love it. and just like most asks i take every single chsnce to yap too much. . . but now you know about L’s entire family dynamics!! so yayy!!!!!

THESE are just little memories. . . L coming to wammy’s house, he and M’s first kiss, & that time he caught M crying and tried to comfort her despite being right shit at it. it’s the thought that counts, y’know <3

[intersexwiki]

Copying everything under the cut for archival.

The invocation of the myth of Hermaphroditus and Salmacis made a lot of us uncomfortable. [CW sexual violence] For those unfamiliar, the myth involves a nymph, Salmacis, who lusts after the teenage Hermaphroditus. She sexually assaults him repeatedly, and prays to the gods that they should never part. Her wish was granted and their bodies were merged together into one body with both sexes. [/CW]

We talked about better options for finding intersex representation in art history, such as in statues or art of congenital eunuchs. There are a number of congenital eunuchs from history that have extant statues, e.g. Isidore of Seville. There are also many mythological entities described as both/neither male/female, e.g. Agdistis (Greek/Roman), Ardhanarishvara (Indian), Inari Ōkami (Japanese).  Michelle pointed out the potential for playing with how the sun is gendered across different cultures (since Helios). Overall, we agreed there were other options for art references and that the book would have been better of picking an option that didn’t depict sexual assault.

The casualness of Helios being intersex got mixed reactions. The intersex representation is really only in one scene. JR liked it was casual. However, everybody (JR included) agreed that if this one scene were skipped or missing there would be nothing else to indicate that Helios is intersex.

We felt the author did a decent job of the disability representation, such as in how Icarus’ cat burglary is affected by having EDS. We agreed it would have been stronger if there had been a parallel with Helios being intersex and doing ballet. Another opportunity for intersex themes would have been to set Mr Black as beating Helios to “man him up” or “keep him in line” in terms of gender performance and being intersex.

JR was curious how the publisher/etc were trying to market the book since it didn’t seem #ownvoices (“is it trying to be mainstream?”). Elizabeth shared that ze has usually seen it promoted on social media as “queer YA”.

What we liked

The prose. As Michelle put it: “The descriptions are so pretty I got shivers… The theming was also well done…  the descriptions of the world were really painterly in a way that was really pleasing.”

The book was emotionally impactful. We all appreciated that a queer romance that didn’t end in tragedy, even if it seemed like that what was being set up! Michelle shared: “there were a few things that were crying buttons for me. One was religious affirmation of queerness. I wouldn't say I have a lot of trauma from being raised Catholic but this still made me cry. Parental affirmation of queerness also!”

Themes of fatherhood (e.g. Icarus talking about what he would do differently, father as minotaur) and toxic masculinity (e.g. Akeem & Luca averse to crying)

The disability representation. Michelle praised the neurodivergent & touch starvation portrayal.

What we struggled with

We agreed all the book ended abruptly. Elizabeth wanted more denouement. JR agreed but pointed out this is a general trend in writing. We all agreed we wanted a better sense of whether things worked out for our protagonists.

We were confused about Icarus getting a job in Paris out of nowhere, and the brief mentions of legal proceedings were confusing.

Elizabeth and JR thought Icarus was too emotionally mature sometimes. Elizabeth thought that Icarus’ “I wish I could hate you” discussion with his father was too emotionally mature for his age, and JR felt his social navigating (manipulating?) felt too savvy. Michelle found it hard to relate.

Mixed reactions

Elizabeth struggled with the setup of the school friends: the exposition was too much all at once. But this worked for Michelle!

Michelle found the dialogue to be very cute. It worked for xer, but warned that there are people who will find it excruciating.

Ancient Greek Mythology

The book draws heavily on 18th century Northern European interpretations of Ancient Greek mythology. Michelle is a fan of Ancient Greek mythology and “there were a lot of little references that I got”. JR wished they knew more of the mythology.

Michelle asked Elizabeth (who is Greek-Canadian) if the mythology connected, and ze said not really. We then got into a discussion about how in recent centuries Northern Europeans reinterpreted Greek mythology for white supremacist ends, and how there are many gaps between what the Anglosphere thinks of as “Greek” vs actual Greek people & culture.

Elizabeth didn’t come into the book discussion planning to get into the politics of how Ancient Greek mythology is interpreted and used! For the summary, ze wants to clarify that this book was par for the course on how Anglosphere authors invoke “Greek” mythology - the meta-discussion we had was not a criticism of Ancrum but of a general sociocultural phenomenon, and it did not reduce Elizabeth’s enjoyment of the book.

What we compared this book to

It reminded JR of Across the Green Grass Fields in that intersex variation is introduced and then doesn't matter again.

It reminded Elizabeth of Queen in that the intersex rep wasn't what you’d expect for #ownvoices

Michelle brought up how intersex representation so frequently feels slapped on and Bogi Takács is a rare exception. We then talked about Power to Yield, how it’s hard for authors to walk the line between intersex rep & having it being all about trauma, but that Power to Yield pulls it off.

Michelle saw the book as “very John Green meets Madelline Miller”

JR was glad this wasn’t another Middlesex!

Overall, we collectively enjoyed the book! 😀 We recommend you pick it up as a solid piece of YA fiction and to support an intersex author. We wouldn’t recommend it as a great example of intersex representation, and were disappointed by that part. 🫤 We all hoped that Ancrum will develop more confidence and knowledge about intersex issues and do better in future books! Everybody left the call wanting to read more by her. 👍️

Book review: Icarus (2024)

We met on 2024-05-31 to talk about Icarus, the newest book by intersex author K. Ancrum! 

Overall takes:

Michelle: Loved it. Finished the book in one sitting. Xer wife was like “aren't you supposed to be going to sleep?” and xe was like “BOOK TOO GOOD” 🤩

Elizabeth: Mixed feelings. It was an engaging and compelling read, but I found some parts confusing and the ending too abrupt. The intersex representation left a bad taste in my mouth. I liked the disability rep though. 🤔

JR: I read a lot of queer books but not a lot of intersex ones because there aren't that many and this was one of the top ones I read this year. While it was set at a high school it felt New Adult rather than YA. Sometimes with YA it can feel really simplistic and this didn't do that! 👍️

Bnuuy: didn’t get to read it but after the discussion I now want to! 😯

Intersex representation

The consensus was that this book stumbled when it came to intersex representation. We speculated that Ancrum may be new to thinking of herself as intersex: it felt to us that she was uncomfortable writing about intersex.

The protagonist’s love interest, Helios, is portrayed rather briefly as intersex. But the specific intersex variation is not disclosed. It struck us as unrealistic that a teenager would out themself in the way that Helios did: saying he is intersex and not the specific variation. Those of us who knew we had intersex diagnoses as teenagers understood ourselves as having that specific diagnosis and not so much as being intersex. We’d expect an intersex teenager to lead with the diagnosis and to explain what that diagnosis is.

Based on book descriptions we guessed that Helios has Klinefelter’s but we weren’t certain. We did appreciate that there wasn’t an excessive focus on genital difference, and that there was discussion of secondary sex characteristics, which is a good start!

The biggest cringe moment for us was in how Icarus compared Helios to the statue of Hermaphroditus in Warsaw. It’s kind of literally objectifying to compare someone to a work of art. We all found it rather gross to compare your lover to a statue depicting sexual violence. 😬 

The invocation of the myth of Hermaphroditus and Salmacis made a lot of us uncomfortable. [CW sexual violence] For those unfamiliar, the myth involves a nymph, Salmacis, who lusts after the teenage Hermaphroditus. She sexually assaults him repeatedly, and prays to the gods that they should never part. Her wish was granted and their bodies were merged together into one body with both sexes. [/CW]

We talked about better options for finding intersex representation in art history, such as in statues or art of congenital eunuchs. There are a number of congenital eunuchs from history that have extant statues, e.g. Isidore of Seville. There are also many mythological entities described as both/neither male/female, e.g. Agdistis (Greek/Roman), Ardhanarishvara (Indian), Inari Ōkami (Japanese).  Michelle pointed out the potential for playing with how the sun is gendered across different cultures (since Helios). Overall, we agreed there were other options for art references and that the book would have been better of picking an option that didn’t depict sexual assault.

The casualness of Helios being intersex got mixed reactions. The intersex representation is really only in one scene. JR liked it was casual. However, everybody (JR included) agreed that if this one scene were skipped or missing there would be nothing else to indicate that Helios is intersex.

We felt the author did a decent job of the disability representation, such as in how Icarus’ cat burglary is affected by having EDS. We agreed it would have been stronger if there had been a parallel with Helios being intersex and doing ballet. Another opportunity for intersex themes would have been to set Mr Black as beating Helios to “man him up” or “keep him in line” in terms of gender performance and being intersex.

JR was curious how the publisher/etc were trying to market the book since it didn’t seem #ownvoices (“is it trying to be mainstream?”). Elizabeth shared that ze has usually seen it promoted on social media as “queer YA”.

What we liked

The prose. As Michelle put it: “The descriptions are so pretty I got shivers… The theming was also well done…  the descriptions of the world were really painterly in a way that was really pleasing.”

The book was emotionally impactful. We all appreciated that a queer romance that didn’t end in tragedy, even if it seemed like that what was being set up! Michelle shared: “there were a few things that were crying buttons for me. One was religious affirmation of queerness. I wouldn't say I have a lot of trauma from being raised Catholic but this still made me cry. Parental affirmation of queerness also!”

Themes of fatherhood (e.g. Icarus talking about what he would do differently, father as minotaur) and toxic masculinity (e.g. Akeem & Luca averse to crying)

The disability representation. Michelle praised the neurodivergent & touch starvation portrayal.

What we struggled with

We agreed all the book ended abruptly. Elizabeth wanted more denouement. JR agreed but pointed out this is a general trend in writing. We all agreed we wanted a better sense of whether things worked out for our protagonists.

We were confused about Icarus getting a job in Paris out of nowhere, and the brief mentions of legal proceedings were confusing.

Elizabeth and JR thought Icarus was too emotionally mature sometimes. Elizabeth thought that Icarus’ “I wish I could hate you” discussion with his father was too emotionally mature for his age, and JR felt his social navigating (manipulating?) felt too savvy. Michelle found it hard to relate.

Mixed reactions

Elizabeth struggled with the setup of the school friends: the exposition was too much all at once. But this worked for Michelle!

Michelle found the dialogue to be very cute. It worked for xer, but warned that there are people who will find it excruciating.

Ancient Greek Mythology

The book draws heavily on 18th century Northern European interpretations of Ancient Greek mythology. Michelle is a fan of Ancient Greek mythology and “there were a lot of little references that I got”. JR wished they knew more of the mythology.

Michelle asked Elizabeth (who is Greek-Canadian) if the mythology connected, and ze said not really. We then got into a discussion about how in recent centuries Northern Europeans reinterpreted Greek mythology for white supremacist ends, and how there are many gaps between what the Anglosphere thinks of as “Greek” vs actual Greek people & culture.

Elizabeth didn’t come into the book discussion planning to get into the politics of how Ancient Greek mythology is interpreted and used! For the summary, ze wants to clarify that this book was par for the course on how Anglosphere authors invoke “Greek” mythology - the meta-discussion we had was not a criticism of Ancrum but of a general sociocultural phenomenon, and it did not reduce Elizabeth’s enjoyment of the book.

What we compared this book to

It reminded JR of Across the Green Grass Fields in that intersex variation is introduced and then doesn't matter again.

It reminded Elizabeth of Queen in that the intersex rep wasn't what you’d expect for #ownvoices

Michelle brought up how intersex representation so frequently feels slapped on and Bogi Takács is a rare exception. We then talked about Power to Yield, how it’s hard for authors to walk the line between intersex rep & having it being all about trauma, but that Power to Yield pulls it off.

Michelle saw the book as “very John Green meets Madelline Miller”

JR was glad this wasn’t another Middlesex!

Overall, we collectively enjoyed the book! 😀 We recommend you pick it up as a solid piece of YA fiction and to support an intersex author. We wouldn’t recommend it as a great example of intersex representation, and were disappointed by that part. 🫤 We all hoped that Ancrum will develop more confidence and knowledge about intersex issues and do better in future books! Everybody left the call wanting to read more by her. 👍️

[blueskybehindtheclouds]

am i completely irrational for wanting to learn japanese solely for the opportunity to play the zelda games in their original language?😭

[sysig]

Enecomimi Banzaiiii (Patreon)

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS アニメ公式ノベライズ Official Novelization ☽ Chapter 1 Translation

[…] ☽ [Next chapter]

Hello everyone! It's been a while. I went back to Japan for the first time in ages last month and immediately fell back down the Diabolik Lovers rabbit hole when I went to the Rejet shop...

I recently found this so-called 'anime novelization' on eBay, and thought it might be fun to use it to get back into translating. This book was released as a novel counterpart to the first season of the Diabolik Lovers anime, thus following the storyline of the anime rather than the visual novels (almost to a T).

Please let me know if you like reading these and want me to translate more of it! I'm not exactly sure how active the fandom is anymore, so I think I'll just test the waters with a couple of chapters and see if it'll be fun to translate the entire book. Who knows!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Originally written by Yukuzuki Hiroha 結来月ひろは Translated from the Japanese by @otomehonyaku

STORY Following her father’s job transfer, Komori Yui is sent to live with the Sakamaki brothers. However, these six brothers turn out to be sadistic, ill-tempered vampires. The men are after Yui’s sweet and incredibly rare blood, and go to great lengths toying with her body and soul to get it. Before long, Yui finds herself trapped in an alluringly dangerous love game(1)...

1. 吸血愛戯 (ラブゲーム): Stylised as ‘love game’ but written with the characters for bloodsucking (吸血), love (愛), and play (戯). The latter character also has a connotation of playfulness/mischief.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

DISCLAIMER This is an unofficial translation intended for those interested in reading the story of the Diabolik Lovers game/season in a slightly more literary format in English. I have no affiliation with Rejet or Frontier Works whatsoever. All rights belong to them, but PLEASE DO NOT POST THIS TRANSLATION ELSEWHERE OR TRANSLATE TO OTHER LANGUAGES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

Now that that’s out of the way—have fun reading! ❤️

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Episode 1

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

That day, like any other day, the sky was aglow with twilight. In the quiet forest, which was dimly lit by the evening sun, the sound of a car engine pierced the air. It was a taxi, driving alone on the narrow forest path.

What a pretty sky… Komori Yui thought as she gazed at the sky from the backseat of the taxi.

Yui was an ordinary second-year high school student. She lived with her father, who was a priest, before he had to relocate for work. Yui was sent to live with the Sakamaki family, who were acquaintances of her father's, and so she was currently on her way to her new home.

A lake came into view from the taxi window. The setting sun glittered off the surface of the lake. The wind, carrying the scent of the forest, rustled Yui’s hair when she opened the car window. She spotted a large mansion nestled between the trees through the window on the opposite side.

So that’s where I’ll be living from now on… 

The closer the taxi got to the mansion, the wider the girl’s eyes became. Aside from what looked to be the main building, which was built around a courtyard, there were even several auxiliary buildings and a gazebo on the property.

I’ve never even seen a mansion this big before.

Before long, the taxi stopped before a gate that was large enough for two cars to easily pass through at the same time.

“Thank you,” Yui said to the driver and stepped out of the car. The taxi returned into the direction from which they had come.

Yui took her suitcase and looked up at the large, Western-style building beyond the gate. It was a three-storey brick building that might as well have belonged to a family of European aristocrats. Briefly taken aback by the view in front of her, Yui opened the gate and went into the courtyard.

“Wow… I never thought it would be such an elegant house.”

Pulling her suitcase behind her and eying her surroundings with astonishment, Yui made her way to the front door. The entrance was still quite a ways away from where she was, and Yui couldn't quite make it there as she kept falling from one surprise into another.

There’s even a fountain!

The stone statue of a gargoyle was perched on top of the fountain and looked down at her. Yui wondered briefly whether this was the personal taste of the mansion’s owner. As she passed by the fountain, the shadows of raindrops started to appear on the stone tiles underneath her feet.

“Rain?!” Caught off-guard, Yui looked up. 

The sky that had been so clear earlier was now black with rain clouds. Just as Yui thought she'd seen a flash of lightning pierce the dark sky, a loud clap of thunder rumbled through the air. Startled by the thunder, she let out a small cry.

“Oh no, even thunder…” Yui clumsily hurried in the direction of the front door. The rain began pouring down the moment she reached it.

Thank God I didn't end up soaked. It wouldn't be appropriate to show up at your new host family’s doorstep drenched to the skin with rain, after all.

Yui faced the door. It was huge and covered in decorative engraving, and she used the ancient-looking door knocker to announce her arrival. The sound of the cold, iron knocker reverberated through the mansion once, twice, but nobody came to answer.

“Excuse me!” Yui called, and extended a hand towards the door.

Before she could reach it, the door inched open by itself with a loud creaking sound.

“Ah!” 

Yui flinched backward in surprise. Out of curiosity, she gingerly peeked through the gap in the door. Nobody was there. Did that mean she was welcome to go inside?

As if she'd been invited in, Yui stepped inside, and the door immediately slammed shut behind her.

Once inside, the first thing that greeted her was a lavish entrance hall lit by a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Still, the entrance hall somehow looked quite gloomy, stretching out far into the shadows on either side of her.

“Um… Is anybody there?” Yui ventured once more, her voice echoing off the high ceiling. 

“How strange. I wonder if they didn't know I would be coming today,” Yui muttered to herself as she paced through the hall. When she stepped onto the red carpet spread out on the floor, a large staircase came into view. She paused before the stairs, only barely visible under the dim light of the chandelier as she called out again, “Excuse me!”

Once more, her voice rang through the air to no avail. Nobody came.

What should I do?

She might have been looking for the master of the house, but that didn't mean she should feel free to snoop around in someone else's home. Yui was at a loss. She stood stock-still, trailing her eyes over her surroundings, and then she noticed something.

For a brief moment, a bolt of lightning outside cast a sliver of light on a sofa by the window. 

Wait, what was…

She only saw it for an instant, but Yui made her way over to the sofa. She saw a figure not unlike the shape of a boy laying on top of it. He seemed about the same age as her, and wore what looked to be a school uniform, but it was completely dishevelled. Under his head was a cushion, which he used as a pillow as he slept.

  What an odd place to sleep in… But I’m glad I managed to find someone.

The boy looked to be sleeping soundly when the lightning illuminated his face again. Even though Yui knew it would be rude to wake him up, she called out to him.

”Um… Excuse me.”

She reached out and touched the boy’s hand, but withdrew immediately.

“So cold!” 

The boy’s skin had been much colder than she’d expected. Regardless of how long he’d been sleeping on that couch, his body temperature shouldn’t have dropped that much.

He doesn’t even have a temperature to begin with…

“Are you okay?” 

Yui started panicking and held an ear to the boy’s chest, but the heartbeat she should have heard never came.

“His heart isn’t beating… Oh no, I have to call an ambulance!”

Yui pulled her phone out of the bag slung over her shoulder, and hurried to call the emergency number, but a hand shot out from beside her and swiftly took the phone right out of her hands.

“Ah!”

“…Shut the fuck up. Who do you think you are, walking into someone’s house yapping like that?”

The boy Yui had assumed had been dead suddenly stood up from the sofa, her phone in his hand, and shot her an irritated glare with his emerald eyes.

“Y-you’re alive?!” 

“What?”

The words had escaped Yui’s lips in an involuntary whisper, but the boy didn’t bother hiding his annoyance when he responded.

“Obviously. Who’d you think Yours Truly is?”

The boy responded like this was the most normal situation in the world, but it didn’t make sense to Yui at all.

What’s going on…?

Without realising it, Yui slowly started backing away from him. “But… Your heart wasn’t beating…” She was absolutely positive that she hadn’t heard a heartbeat.

And yet… Why did the boy in front of her look so calm and composed? 

A flash of blind panic urged Yui to make a run for it, but the boy caught her in his arms and pushed her onto her back on the sofa.

“Ah! What are you doing?!”

“What, isn’t it obvious? I’m gonna eat you up.” The boy’s face dipped in close, but bent down further to lick the nape of Yui’s neck.

What on Earth…

Yui’s mind reeled at the boy’s unexpected behaviour, and she yelped, but that only made her assailant’s face twist into an amused grin. He bent down again in an attempt to bite into her neck. 

“Ayato! What is this? Tone it down.”

The boy—Ayato, apparently—clicked his tongue and glared at the person standing next to the sofa. “Reiji.” 

The person Ayato referred to as Reiji was a highly strung-looking boy with glasses perched on his narrow nose. With his calm and polite demeanour and white gloves, he almost looked like a butler, but when Yui looked closely, he was wearing the same uniform as Ayato.

Reiji looked at Ayato over the rim of his glasses with an exasperated expression. “This is the entrance hall. A place where we welcome guests. Please take these sorts of activities to your own room.”

“Ugh, boring.” Ayato reluctantly sat up.

Did this boy just come to save me?

Yui flung herself off of the sofa and scurried to Reiji’s side. “P-please help me!”

He gave her a puzzled look when she called for help. “And you are?”

“Komori Yui. My father arranged for me to stay here.”

“I don’t recall hearing about that.”

After listening to Yui’s explanation, Reiji returned his attention to Ayato. “Ayato, will you explain what’s going on here?”

“What? Like hell I know,” Ayato answered gruffly, and swung a leg up onto the sofa. He looked directly at Yui. “Y’know, Pancake, you could’ve told me all of that earlier.”

“That’s because you attacked me all of a sudden.”

“Huh…”

Somewhat unsurprised that she wouldn’t be able to have a normal conversation with the person who had just plainly assaulted her. Ayato turned away from her as if he hadn’t done anything wrong.

What’s wrong with him? He’s been nothing but rude… Yui thought, and suddenly something occurred to her.

“Wait, you said Pancake… Did you mean me?”

“Of course, you idiot. You really that dense, Pancake?” Ayato cast her an amused sideways glance, clearly making fun of her. 

Next to Yui, who was still fuming at the rude nickname, Reiji crossed his arms in thought.

“Strange indeed. Nobody has reported this to me, either.” 

Then Yui must have come to the wrong mansion. But still, there aren’t any other houses around here.

“Ah, um, so you are…”

“Let’s not discuss this here. Please follow me. Your luggage will be taken care of.” Before Reiji had even finished talking, Yui noticed that a butler had appeared beside her suitcase. 

“Oh!” When did he get here?

The butler acknowledged Yui with a little nod and disappeared with her suitcase. What on Earth is going on in this mansion? A front door that opens by itself, and a butler that appears out of thin air, without a sound. And then there’s…

When Yui cast a glance toward Ayato, who was still sitting on the sofa, his eyes met hers with a disgruntled expression. Remembering what he had done to her earlier, Yui quickly looked away and followed Reiji instead.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Reiji led Yui into a spacious living room. The chandelier hanging from the ceiling gave off a dazzling light, and firewood was burning in the hearth.

“Please, have a seat.”

“Thank you.”

Yui did as he said and took a seat on the sofa.

“You too, Ayato. We cannot have a proper conversation if you do not.”

“Ugh. Fine.” 

She watched as Ayato took a seat next to her, and Reiji started to speak.

“Firstly, please do us the courtesy of explaining why you barged into our home without permission.”

“Ah, yes.” 

I didn’t really barge in here, though… However, to Reiji and the others, that’s what it must seem like. I should apologise and clear up the misunderstanding.

“Um…” Yui straightened her spine but was interrupted before she could speak.

“Oh, oh, oh! What’s this?” a voice laughed from above. When Yui looked up, she saw a boy peering down at her from the mezzanine. “To think such a cute girl would show up here!” He looked about the same age as Ayato, but wore a black hat on his head. His bright green eyes bore into Yui’s, making her a little nervous.

Has he been there the entire time? I couldn’t even tell. Just as she took in the strange circumstances, a tongue trailed over Yui’s left cheek.

“Ah!” 

Did someone just lick me? 

Touching her cheek in surprise, Yui looked to the side and was met with the boy who had just been on the mezzanine. What? How did he get over here so fast? Feeling as though she’d been pinched, she cast him an accusatory look.

“Hm… She smells so sweet.” 

When Yui pressed her back against the sofa to get away from the boy, another voice suddenly sounded from right behind her.

“Please let me have a taste, too.”

Someone licked her ear this time. Yui spun around and saw a purple-haired boy of small stature there. She cringed at the moist sound of his tongue, pressing a hand to her ear. 

“She tastes sweet, too.”

What on Earth is going on? The two boys looked entertained by Yui’s confusion. 

Reiji seemed unable to look on, and broke the silence. “You two. That is no way to treat a lady whom you have only just met.”

The boy with the hat whined in protest at Reiji’s reprimanding tone.

“Do you have anything to say, Laito?”

“Well, if something so delicious-looking is put in front of me, I just have to taste it. Right, Kanato?”

“Yeah,” the purple-haired boy replied with a nod.

“Fuck off, all of you!” Ayato wedged his way into the two boys’ conversation.

 “Yours Truly found this one, so I’ll be the one to take all of her firsts.”

“...Asshole.”

Ayato frowned at the source of yet another voice filled the living room.

“With your ‘Yours Truly, Yours Truly,’ just shut the fuck up already.”

“The fuck did you just say?” Ayato flung himself off the couch with unnecessary force, and looked around the room. “That’s Subaru, isn’t it? Show yourself, coward!” 

“I’m right here.” The sullen voice came from a boy leaning against the wall, presumably Subaru. The white shock of his hair, which covered his right eye, was a stark contrast with his red eyes, which leered at Yui. “I was just thinking it reeked of humans in here. So it’s you. How are you going to compensate for my lack of precious sleep?”

“W-where did you come from?”

“I asked first!” Subaru yelled in annoyance, and slammed a fist against the wall behind him. Cracks began to form in the wall from his fist outwards, sending plaster crumbling to the floor. He fixed his gaze on Yui, who was at a loss for words.

Seeing the dilapidated state of the wall, Reiji sighed heavily as he repositioned his glasses. He turned toward his brothers gathered in the living room.

“Are any of you listening? The lady will be living here from now on.” 

There was no response.

“Um, I think there’s been some kind of mistake. I’m sorry for troubling you. I’ll be on my way now.” Yui resolutely rose from the couch.

“Please wait.” Reiji’s voice made her freeze in place when she attempted to flee the living room, her eyes trained on the floor. “I am still confirming the facts. Do you not think it would be rude to leave now?”

“B-but…”

Reiji certainly had a point, but considering the mansion’s other inhabitants certainly weren’t intent on following his orders, Yui could not bear to be there much longer. They’re scaring me…

A new, listless voice came from the direction of the window.

“Are you the woman he told me about?” 

When Yui turned to look, she spotted another new face. The boy was spread out lazily on the sofa by the window. He wore the same school uniform as the others, but instead of a jacket, he wore a beige-coloured cardigan over his shirt. He appeared to be listening to music, as a pair of earphones plugged his ears.

There’s one more brother?

“Shuu, what do you know about her?”

“...Nothing much.” Shuu replied dismissively, his eyes closed. Could he hear Ayato even though he was wearing earphones? 

“Nonsense. Please elaborate,” Kanato urged.

Shuu reluctantly began speaking. “He… contacted me the other day. He told me we’d be receiving a guest from the church, and to ‘treat her kindly,’ ‘make her feel most welcome,’ all that.”

“The hell? You mean Pancake’s the Chosen Bride?” 

An involuntary noise slipped from Yui’s lips at Ayato’s remark. What does that even mean, the Chosen Bride? At the very least, she knew that her father, who had to move away for his job as a priest, had arranged for her to live here, but this was the first time she heard of this whole ordeal. However, contrary to Yui’s astonishment, the brothers listened to Shuu’s explanation rather calmly.

“Ah, I see.”

“A bride? Well, more like a living sacrifice, right?”

…Living sacrifice?

Yui was taken aback by Kanato and Laito’s exchange. 

Then, Shuu opened his eyes and spoke as if to deal the final blow. “Right, he also ordered us not to kill her, so…”

Not kill me? What the…?

“Huh… Well, then we’ll be enjoying her company for a long time.”

Meanwhile, Yui had frozen in place. 

Reiji ignored her shock as he called her to attention. “Wonderful. It appears that the issue has been cleared up. Then, let us properly introduce ourselves.” He first turned to Shuu. “That is the eldest brother, Sakamaki Shuu. I am the second son, Reiji.” He paused briefly before turning to Ayato and the others. “Those are the triplets. Ayato–”

“I won’t let you get away next time.”

“Kanato–”

“Please let me taste you again. Exciting, isn’t it, Teddy?” Teddy must be the name of the one-eyed bear Kanato was cradling in his arms. The boy tilted his head and giggled.

“And Laito–”

“Let’s have fun together, Bitchlet.” For such a crude name to call a woman, Laito was laughing as he said it.

“Lastly, that’s Subaru, the youngest brother.”

“Ugh, this shit sucks.” Subaru looked displeased at Yui’s presence, and turned away immediately.

Reiji had properly introduced all of the brothers to her, but still, she did not know how to make sense of everything they had said to her. “There must still be some kind of mistake. I haven’t heard anything about a bride…”

Something suddenly occurred to Yui, a peculiar thought poking at the back of her mind. Many strange things had happened to her since she’d arrived here, but the most unsettling thing of all…

“S-something’s… off about all of you…” Yui asked, her gaze gingerly shifting from brother to brother. All of their eyes were trained on her.

What on Earth…

Their cold, piercing gazes radiated danger, and Yui’s fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. I have to get out of here.

“I-I have to contact my father…”

Yui reached for the cell phone in her pocket, but, somehow it had ended up in Ayato’s hands again.

“Ah!” How did that happen? Never mind, this is not the time to think about that. “My phone! Give it back!”

“I dunno about that.” Ayato toyed with her phone, a sadistic smile forming on his face.

I won’t have any means to contact my father if I don’t have my cell phone…

“Give it back, please!” Yui tried to take the phone from him, but every time it seemed just within reach, Ayato dodged her. He seemed to be enjoying the look of despair on her face. He then tossed the phone to Subaru.

Just as she thought he would return it to her, Subaru’s expression changed to a look of disgust, and Yui knew immediately that he wasn’t going to.

“W-what are you doing?”

“This.”

With one swift movement, Subaru snapped the phone in two. 

There went Yui’s lifeline to her father. Why are they doing this? 

“This is cruel…”

“Shut up.”

Watching the tears forming in Yui’s eyes at the sight of her broken cell phone, Subaru shot her an irritated glare.

“Oh, Bitchlet, don’t be sad!” Laito said cheerfully and patted her shoulder as if to console her. “We’re going to get along great, so you won’t need your cell phone anyway. Okay?”

Before she had time to think about it, she had been sandwiched between Laito and Kanato.

“I’ve been so hungry.” 

Kanato edged closer to a now distraught Yui as he spoke, and Laito simultaneously leaned in to whisper in her ear. 

“Ah… You smell so good, Bitchlet.”

Huh? I’m not even wearing perfume.

Just as she pondered his remark, the light reflected off something in the corner of her eye. She tilted her head to look, and it turned out to be the canine teeth poking out from Laito’s mouth when he bent down to her neck as if he was going to bite her.

The thunder rumbling in the distance coincided with a fearful scream from Yui, both reverberating through the room. 

I have to get out of here. Now.

She dashed for the door, but in her haste, her foot caught on something and she fell flat on her face. Yui scrambled back up, but a flash of pain ran through her leg. Looking down, she saw blood welling up from a cut in the skin of her knee.

Suddenly feeling the brothers’ attention on her again, Yui raised her face. She was met with their ominously glistening eyes. Their unusually sharp canine teeth were now plainly visible. It’s… like they’re…

“V-vampires…”

Yui reached for something in her pocket and held it up in front of her face.

“Eat this!”

It was the rosary that she’d gotten from her father. 

Vampires should be weak to crucifixes! However, much to her disappointment, the brothers didn’t cower in fear. From the sofa by the window where Shuu lay, Yui even heard a low, mocking laugh.

“Huh?” 

Why didn’t it do anything?

“Good grief…” Reiji said, exasperated. “The theories that vampires are weak to garlic, crucifixes, the sun, and that sort of thing… are all myths invented by humans. Did you earnestly expect that to work on us? That only proves how foolish you humans really are. This is most displeasing.”

Oh…

Yui made a dash for the door.

“You really haven’t an ounce of discipline, have you?” she heard Reiji say irritatedly from behind her as she ran.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The sound of Yui’s desperate, careless footsteps echoed through the entrance hall as she ran. The thought that they were not just no ordinary humans, but actual vampires, was incomprehensible. 

I have to get out of here as fast as I can!

Having run blindly focused on getting away, Yui came to a halt. Wait, which way should I even go? She wasn’t sure if it was because the mansion was so big, but there were so many hallways that looked so similar to one another that she quickly lost track of where she was. However, she had no time to hesitate. I have to run, or they’ll catch up to me…

Yui sped off again at the memory of the threatening look in their eyes.

Shortly after that, she spotted a table loaded with different kinds of sweets at the end of the hall. What is this doing here? As she eyed the sweets in suspicion, Kanato suddenly appeared from the shadow under the table. 

“I’ll break you.”

“Oh!”

The way Kanato smiled at her made her quickly continue her path. What was he doing there?

A small desk with a landline phone on it caught Yui’s attention when she turned the corner into another hallway. 

Good, I can use it to contact my father… If I can, I could make it out of here somehow… Yui picked up the receiver, but the cord that she thought had been connected to the phone before had now been cut. 

Oh no… Briefly stunned, she lost hope. 

From somewhere in the distance, Laito’s voice called out to her. “Hehe… I told you you wouldn’t need a phone anymore living here.”

Yui frantically looked around to see where he was. Laito was nowhere in sight. 

“Come and find me, Bitchlet…”

He probably enjoyed the sight of her frightened. Laito’s voice made her shrink away in fear. While scrambling backwards, she bumped into someone, and Yui held her breath as she felt hands closing around her shoulders.

Please, no…

“Guess who?”

Yui yelped. 

Terrified by Laito whispering so close to her ear, she quickly shook off his hands and ran. 

When she somehow finally reached a door, it wouldn’t budge. No way! Why won’t it open?

“Please, please open!” She pounded her fists on the door, but it didn’t help at all. I’m going to have to look for a different way out…

Before she could move away, two hands reached out on either side of her and pushed Yui’s body against the door. It was Ayato.

“Where are you going? This is the part where you scream for my amusement. Let me hear you cry out, at the top of your lungs.”

Yui was trapped in his arms.

“You can’t run away, you know.”

The girl was somehow able to shake Ayato off as well, and ran in the opposite direction, deeper into the mansion. I’m better off finding a place to hide…

Upstairs, Yui found a room that looked suitable for hiding, but the door didn’t open when she turned the knob. As she ran down the dimly-lit hallway on the second floor, she heard the sound of something unlocking. 

Yui spotted a spiral staircase further down the hall. Did it come from up there? 

She followed the stairs and came to a stop in front of yet another door. Padlocks and chains were scattered on the floor before it. 

It’s unlocked. I should hide in there.

Yui went in and shut the door behind her.

The dim moonlight gave the room a gloomy atmosphere. Yui looked around. There were many pieces of furniture and paintings with sheets draped over them, as well as different kinds of tools. Everything was covered in a layer of dust, making it seem like nobody ever came in here. It might be a storage room, Yui thought as she padded through the room to a dresser. Her eyes fell onto the accessories spread out on top of it, which were adorned with gemstones and glittered in the moonlight. But if they’re laid out like this, this must be someone’s room after all? 

Yui’s gaze unintentionally shifted to the window.

A woman was standing on the balcony.

The woman’s back was turned to Yui, so she couldn’t see her face, but her long purple hair shone in the moonlight. She gave off an elegant aura in her long dress, which was almost as purple as her hair.

The purple-haired woman noticed Yui’s presence. Just as she turned to look at her, an intense pain spread through Yui’s torso.

Yui choked on air.

What’s happening? 

She had never experienced such pain in her chest before. 

I can’t breathe… Her heart started beating erratically, her vision slowly becoming blurry. The pain was so severe that she lost her footing and collided with the bookcase along the wall, sending books tumbling to the floor. Yui could only focus on bearing the agony. 

After a little while, the pain subsided. 

What on Earth was that?

Yui snuck another glance towards the window, but saw nothing but the new moon in the night sky outside. Did I just imagine all of that? The pain in her chest and the illusion of that woman might not even be so strange in the line of things that had already happened today.

The books that had fallen from the bookcase caught Yui’s attention. Alongside a number of books was a leatherbound notebook. Her eyes stopped on a picture that had slipped out from between the pages when she had bumped into the bookcase.

“This is… Dad?!”

The picture depicted a priest holding a small, sleeping baby. So that baby is…

“Me?”

But how did this picture get here?

When Yui looked at the notebook from which the picture had slipped out, the writer summarised their day’s events and achievements in a familiar handwriting.

“So this is my father’s diary. But why?” 

Why would it be here of all places? I might understand if I look inside.

She opened the diary and began reading.

Yui brings me so much joy. The fact that she is not my own child bears no meaning at all. She is truly a blessing, and I am nothing but grateful for every day I get to spend with her…

Yui could not believe her eyes.

“What does he mean, I’m not my father’s child? What is this diary even doing here?” 

Am I not his biological child? It couldn’t be so…

“To think you went into this room, of all places.”

The sudden sound of Reiji’s voice made Yui look up, and she saw that the Sakamaki brothers had somehow all gathered in the room in the blink of an eye.

“This is a forbidden room. Nobody is allowed inside.” Reiji glanced at the door and let out a heavy sigh. “I will have to put new locks on it.”

“Really, though. How did you even get in, Bitchlet?” Laito asked and crouched down before her, but even Yui did not know why the room had been unlocked. 

I didn’t even unlock it myself…

Yui tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t quite come out.

Kanato stood before her as well, leering down at her. “You’re nothing but food, so please stay still so I can eat.”

“I-I’m not food…”

“Quit complaining already.”

Yui shrieked when Subaru slammed a fist into the wall like he had before, sending more books falling from the bookcase to the floor.

“Oh, not again, Subaru.”

“Fuck off.”

While Laito and Subaru bickered with one another, Yui looked on, frightened beyond her wits. What should I do? I’m surrounded. There’s no way I can run now. 

What are they going to do with me?

“That face…”

Someone grabbed her chin and forced her to look up. There was Ayato, his face splitting into a satisfied grin.

“It’s so tempting.”

“Let me have a bite, too!”

“I want to lick her.”

“N-no…”

The triplets started towards Yui.

“You have no right to refuse. The only thing you need to know is this: you can most definitely not run from us,” Reiji stated plainly.

“Beating around the bush, as always. What he means to say is that we’ll kill you if you try to get away.”

Yui had no choice. She was surrounded by the triplets as she quietly took in Reiji’s and Subaru’s words. On either side of her, Ayato and Laito took turns turning her neck this way and that, and when Kanato stretched out a hand towards her, Yui let out a fearful scream.

“Please stop!”

CRASH!

Yui screamed, and the sound of glass breaking pierced the air. The triplets, who had been swarming around her in an attempt to steal her blood, snapped their heads in the direction of the sound.

A few landscape paintings had fallen over by Shuu’s feet, and glass was scattered all across the floor. 

“My bad,” Shuu said, and turned his back toward her. Yui’s eyes must not have conveyed her desperate need to be saved from the triplets.

While she was rooted in place, terrified, the realisation dawned over Yui.

Even if I run, I have nowhere to go.

“Hey, Pancake.”

Yui, still startled at the nickname, turned around. Her mind could barely keep up when Ayato grabbed her by the throat and pushed her down onto the floor.

“Are you ready to accept your fate?”

His eyes had a dangerous twinkle in them as he hovered over her. Yui could no longer find the resolve to move away. Ayato pinned her to the floor and held her gaze, his sharp fangs glistening in the light of the new moon peeking through the window. 

Please, save me…

“Oh, God!”

However, Yui’s voice never reached Him.

[starrysharks]

Just out of curiosity since its my special interest; what kind of fashion styles would you say you wear/would like to wear? smile

ooo i feel like it's a mix of multiple styles! my friends irl either say that i dress emo or y2k style (i wear a lot of skirts over jeans, fun hats, leg warmers, lots of accessories and stuff...) my main style inspirations are stuff from fruits mag and random outfit pics from pinterest - i buy a lot of my clothes from chinese indie brands like cfierce, eyeelike, and double punch if that gives a good idea!

in short - in warmer months, my style is more harajuku/y2k/etc inspired - colorful oversized shirts, lots of hairclips, keychains, and accessories, cargo pants and shorts, etc!

and in colder months, more emo (according to my friends - i personally don't consider myself emo)/mori kei/twee??? idrk - dark patterned cardigans and sweaters, layered leg warmers, scarfs, hats (like ushankas and baker caps etc)!

if i could dress any other way, i would dress every way. i love all alternative fashion styles so much!!! i've loved alt fashion since i was a wannabe fairy kei 8 year old haha

[shewhoeatssand]

Kaneki is a good boy and I like him

really really cute guy

[snail-studios]

unpopular opinion but i absolutely despise mipha's english voice acting and am so sick of hearing everyone act as if that's her only voice when there are so many better ones in japanese, german, almost any version other than english .3.

[blondedingdong]

@piiloh-case wait TIFA SAID THAT?? XDDD Okay now I need to know in which scene she says "Dilly-Dally-Shilly-Shally" so I can compare it to the German scene (when I watch AC again tonight) because I have NO idea which scene has her say anything remotely like that lmao!

[number1villainstan]

The two stories/series/media creations that make me want to gnaw on the drywall right now are Revolutionary Girl Utena, a masterful deconstruction of tropes rooted in sexism and queerphobia but with pervasive racist/imperialist elements* in the background, and Dune, a masterful deconstruction of tropes rooted in racism and imperialism but with pervasive sexist/queerphobic** elements in the background. it's hilarious it's like they're made to cancel each other out

[kashilascorner]

Oh ok. I get now why a lot of people didn't vibe with the ending.

All and all: excellent manga, overall very good final act, too rushed final 2-3 chapters but weak and honestly mediocre epilogue, which makes the high of the ending kind of leave a bitter taste. I think Noda had a good steed and suddenly he had to finish and had to rush all. So the ending in the sense of the final arc was good but the ending proper (final couple chapters) + epilogue......... Not so much