#is it me or the korean ''you'' sounding like a 'no' quite funny in this scene

[michyeosseo]

She's come to disturb my heart again.

Yoon Hae Young and Choi Myung Gil as JANG SE-MI & BAEK DO-YI LADY DURIAN (2023) 1.04

[runariya]

Crash Course in Love • 2

pairing: snowboard instructor!Jungkook x ex-gf!reader (feat. platonic OT6) genre: rom-com, Exes 2 Lovers, slow-burn, angst rating: 18+, MDNI warnings: strong language, slow burn, angst, fluff, tension, bad communication skills, jealousy, alcohol, smoking, heartbreak, lmk if I forgot smth word count: 17.3k

a/n: 19 days later and here's part 2 at last! hope you like it still and I can't wait to see your reactions lol DON’T HATE ME! LOVE YOU ALL 💕 ENJOY

a/n 2: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! 💕

01 • masterlist • 03

Day 2

There’s something about the way you crash after a day that’s drained you not just physically but emotionally too. After your bath and after you grabbed your luggage when you were sure Jungkook wouldn’t be in his room anymore, and with your stomach still full from the Korean BBQ at Tae’s, you passed out immediately. Yoongi’s snoring didn’t bother you in the slightest—if anything, the vibrations seemed to massage your sore body through the mattress.

You feel even more lost when you wake up just after 5:30 in the morning, fully rested but with muscles still stiff. You’re not sure if Tae’s smoothie did anything or if you’d feel completely dead now without it. It’s not that you want to go back to sleep either, knowing you’ll just wake up even more tired if you try, experience showing that extra hours do more harm than good. 

Not wanting to listen to Yoongi’s ongoing snoring any longer, you carefully slip out of bed without waking him and reach for the book you brought with you. But just as you’re about to head out of the suite, you stop, eyeing Yoongi’s coat. 

Should you?

You quit smoking months ago, only started when you broke things off with Jungkook, but just thinking about everything that was said yesterday—and what’s still to come—makes you struggle. You’ll probably hate yourself for it afterwards, but still, you go back to his coat and rummage for his cigarettes and lighter. 

Realising you only brought one pair of boots, which are currently at Hope’s, and there’s no way you’re stepping out into the snow in slippers or your snowboard boots, you grab Yoongi’s spare designer boots and your snowboard jacket as well. 

It’s impressive, really, that you manage to carry everything out of the room without dropping anything, and that Yoongi stays sound asleep despite the obvious rustling of your coat as you move.

You’re thankful Namjoon kept his word about keeping the fireplace lit, not just because its warmth meets you in the corridor but also for the soft glow it casts along the way to the main area.

Pausing for a second, you can hear Yoongi still snoring through the door, along with louder, muffled snores further down the corridor, which must be Namjoon’s. And, who would’ve thought, you hear some very light snoring coming from Jungkook’s room too.

It feels like you’re walking past caves in some forgotten time, surrounded by Neanderthals who snore more to fend off predators than from sinus problems. It’s funny in a way, you reckon. That’s just how biology works, even if you and every other woman in this world are the ones who suffer through the night because of it.

As you reach the main area, of course, you can’t manage all the things you’re holding, and your book falls to the floor, the sound louder than it should be. You think it didn’t wake anyone, but you’re not sure—Jungkook might be awake, he’s always been a light sleeper, though Namjoon’s snoring is too loud now to tell.

Not bothering to pick it up, knowing you’ll drop something else if you try, you kick the book towards the couches, hoping none of the great authors are cursing you for it. The heat of the fireplace, even though it’s only simmering, pulls you to sink back into the cushions once you’ve set your things down.

The hostel feels so much cosier than by daytime, long shadows casting a warm, festive glow like Christmas morning. You almost wish you’d spent the holiday here instead of alone at home.

Just yesterday, you longed for Jungkook to be by your side, to experience this place and this town with you. But now, even though he is here, it doesn’t feel as fulfilling as you thought it would.

Obviously, he’s been here before, and even when he’s spending time with you, it’s under circumstances you wish were different. It destroys you how things are, how you’re treating each other, how much hatred he clearly has for you now, just at the sight of you.

You understand his bitterness though, understand that he probably wishes he’d never seen you again. But what can you do? It’s not like you booked this hostel on purpose, as if you orchestrated the whole thing just to run into him.

No, it’s all just a coincidence. A brutal one at that. You didn’t have time to prepare yourself, didn’t have time to think about how you’d approach him after all this time, or what you’d say.

You reckon he feels the same—blindsided, overwhelmed, hurt. And he has every reason to be. Still, it hurts so deeply, so excruciatingly, that you just want to leave and never look back. It feels like there’s no saving your relationship with Jungkook, not even the hope of being friends.

Or maybe this trip will be the closure you need. Maybe it’ll be the final heartbreak, the one that’s been dragging on for far too long, but now will come to a head and let you move on, even though deep down you don’t want to. You’re sure Jungkook was the one for you—a love once in a lifetime, the one who got away.

Tossing the book from one hand to the other, your eyes can’t help but linger on the pack of cigarettes lying on the table in front of you. It’s dumb, smoking—you know that, always have. But God, you’re broken. You’re so, so sad, it’s suffocating. And you know it won’t help.

You know smoking, like any other addiction, is just a result of loneliness. That doesn’t make it any easier to resist.

You set the book down, slip into Yoongi’s boots again, and pull on your coat, ignoring the voice in your head telling you not to backslide, not to undo months of progress. But still, you ignore that voice as much as you ignore Namjoon’s snoring, and grab the pack and lighter and stand to head outside once you’re fully clothed. 

You’d forgotten about the chime when you open the front door, pausing for a moment as if it’s trying to stop you, but you keep moving, letting the door shut behind you as the early morning greets you. 

The streets are empty, the air biting cold. But the fairy lights are still on, their glow reflecting silently off the snow and ornaments, but you can’t bring yourself to enjoy it.

Your breath fogs with every exhale as you slowly open the cigarette pack, your hands turning rosy in the cold, warmth steaming off them like dumplings.

You take one out, slip the pack into your coat pocket, and toy with the cigarette between your fingers. 

Should you?

You know you shouldn’t.

You.

Know.

But no one’s here to stop you. Who would even care? So you put it between your dry lips and light it, guarding the flame with your hand as if to stop it from dying the way your heart did.

The first drag is equal parts disgusting and relieving, and soon, your thoughts start to fade. Your chest feels lighter, despite the toxins filling it. Maybe breaking up with Jungkook was the first step towards your own downfall. Maybe it was always meant to be.

The front door opens behind you when you’re halfway through your cigarette, but you don’t turn around. There are only three options for who might join you—Yoongi, up for his first smoke of the day; Namjoon, woken by the chime and curious to see what’s going on; or Jungkook. Though you wouldn’t know why it’d be the latter.

“Smoking kills.”

“So does snowboarding,” you reply through the puff of smoke escaping your lips.

“Fair.”

Silence. You can’t bring yourself to look at Jungkook, now standing beside you, both of you staring at some distant ornament, avoiding each other’s gaze.

“What are you doing out here this early?” he asks, as if it’s not obvious.

“Thought I’d get some fresh air.”

There’s no humour in your tone, just defeat, and those few words seem to sap the last bit of energy you have. You feel like you’ve had the same effect on Jungkook—his voice is as dry as yours.

“Funny.”

You know you can’t undo all the damage between you and Jungkook, but still, you want to at least be civil.

“I’m sorry you have to be our instructor. I didn’t know.”

“Sounds like you wouldn’t have booked it if you’d known.”

You shrug. “Probably.”

“Is seeing me again really that unbearable?”

It is.

Of course it is. But only because you can’t bear seeing him having moved on. So you shrug again.

“I see.”

You take the last drag of your cigarette, drop it into the snow, and stomp it out before immediately reaching for another.

“It’s really bad for you.”

“Why do you care, Jungkook?”

“Because you—”

“Please, just let me be, Jungkook.”

It’s desperate, your plea, resigned. And when you finally lock eyes with him, it almost hurts as much as on the day you broke up with him. He looks like he’s stepped straight out of a dream, the smoke from your cigarette swirling up into the sky between you. He’s so beautiful, especially in the morning when he’s just rolled out of bed. But his hurt eyes—hurt that you caused—are something you can’t handle.

“I never did you wrong.”

His words hit like a slap, and you reckon you deserve it, deserve even more, so you let him continue, knowing he’s far from done.

“Why did you leave me?”

You can’t meet his eyes now. Not just because tears burn in the corners of both yours and his, but because you can’t bring yourself to tell him the truth—that you were never worthy of him. That you were never the one for him, not when he’s found someone like Hara, who fits him so much better. So you shrug again, trying to swallow the lump in your throat as your shaky hands lift the cigarette to your lips for another long drag, hoping he’ll think it’s just the cold affecting you, not the emotions welling up inside.

“God, ___.” You see Jungkook look up at the dark sky, rubbing his hands violently against his face and eyes in your peripheral vision. You’re not sure if it’s out of anger, frustration, or pain, and you’re not sure you want to know.

“I’m sorry,” you force out, losing the fight against your tears as they silently roll down your cheeks. Quickly, you turn around, trying to make it back inside before Jungkook notices your breakdown. 

“For leaving me, or for being with me in the first place?”

“Both.”

You don’t stop, can’t stop even if you tried. Bolting straight into the hostel, you leave your book where you placed it earlier, your only aim to escape, to get to your suite as fast as possible. Away from all you’ve done and can’t take back. 

It’s not like it’s really possible for you to get away from Jungkook, not when he’s still not only very much physically present but still consumes every thought and every space in your heart. It breaks you to see his pain, breaks you even more because you don’t know how to fix it. You’ve created a mess, of the whole situation and of your and his heart, that’s impossible to mend now.

Even if you could, the hurt has left wounds and open scars, which won’t ever heal, especially on Jungkook’s soul, and you reckon he’ll never want you back to begin with.

The door to the suite slams shut behind you, waking up Yoongi, who just turns to look at your broken self, tears still running down in waves.

“Talked to Jungkook?”

“Yes,” you sob.

“Next time, try at daytime, it’s not as emo.”

Well, thank you very much. As if that would have changed a thing. But you don’t bicker this time, knowing that somewhere in Yoongi’s words lies the truth, even if you’re not able to accept it in this moment.

Kicking off his boots and yeeting them across the room where he placed them before you took them, and letting your coat fall off your shoulders, you don’t pay attention to Yoongi’s scolding, disappearing into the bathroom to take a cleansing shower, or rather, to let all the emotions and tears out without being bothered and without being a bother to Yoongi.

It doesn’t take long before the hot water mixes with your tears and for you recognise that you need to somehow get your head straight, or get it checked, because it’s only the second day. A lot more is to come, and you’ll be regretting it if you just wave the white flag and leave. If there’s nothing else you can do, nothing that can help you heal and move on, you want to at least help Jungkook to do so.

You owe it to him, and frankly, that was the main point of why you broke up in the first place. You’ll need to forget your own hurt for the time being, answer all his questions without breaking down again, and you’ll start with that as soon as you’re out of the shower.

“Hurry up! I need to take a piss!”

You’re glad you had half a mind to lock the door, but still, the banging of Yoongi’s fist disturbs you so much, you won’t be able to neither cry nor think in peace.

“Ten more minutes!”

“I’ll piss on your pillow! Open the fucking door!”

Ew. Sighing, you rinse the rest of your shampoo out, hurrying to at least wrap a towel around yourself before unlocking the door. You’re not able to push the handle down because Yoongi bolts inside, ripping his pants down and immediately starting to empty his bladder.

“Ew, gross!”

“Next time, your pillow, ___,” Yoongi sighs, but you’ve already fled the scene. As relatives, you’re close, yes, but not that close.

Nonetheless, you’re thankful for this distraction, even if it just helped you not be dragged further into the blue.

Hearing Yoongi close and lock the bathroom door and turning on the shower does the rest as you now stand fully dressed, with dripping wet hair, in the middle of the suite.

You know there’s no way he’ll open that door back up again, even if you’d knock as violently as he did just now. He simply doesn’t give a fuck. So you see no other option but to get some breakfast with wet hair, knowing there’s not much time left before you’re back on the slopes, or rather the beginner’s hill.

The corridor is empty again, though you hear some chatter from Namjoon and Jungkook down the way. Taking a very deep breath, you try to school your face into happiness, or at least neutrality.

You find both with Jimin in the dining area, the latter unpacking his bread and some pastries onto the table.

“Good morning,” you try to sound as cheerful as possible, but as you lock eyes with Jungkook, you know he notices the red rim around your eyes.

“Hey! Look what I’ve got for you.” Jimin practically explodes with happiness as he gets a see-through box of macarons out of his paper bag.

“No way! Jimin, that wasn’t necessary! Thank you!” You can’t help the genuine smile that spreads across your face, hands eagerly grabbing for them as you unbox them against your stomach, too occupied to even sit down.

“But I wanted to. I’ve never seen someone so obsessed with these.” Jimin laughs his beautiful laugh at your already stuffed smile, as Namjoon just smirks, and Jungkook, well…Jungkook just seems odd.

“Here, at least sit down.” Namjoon offers you the chair beside him, and to be honest, you’d much rather sit somewhere else than face Jungkook, but there’s nothing you can do.

You don’t thank Namjoon this time when he pushes the chair for you to sit down, too embarrassed by your chewing. You shouldn’t have put two macarons in your mouth at once.

“Coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

Jungkook stays silent throughout it all, just watching you, especially watching Namjoon carefully, while you avoid eye contact. Jimin, on the other hand, can’t keep his eyes from flickering between you and Jungkook with a broad smile, as if he senses something’s wrong. He takes the last empty chair at the small table and sits between you and Jungkook.

“Black, so you’re not overdosed.” Namjoon places your coffee in front of you as his eyes also flick to Jungkook, and you’re not sure what’s happening right now.

“Hold up, hold up, I’ve got my favourite with me. Just for you, ___. You liked it the first time, right?” Jimin pulls out a cup of iced Americano from his bag, this time in a fitting container, but you can’t seem to understand why he’d bring you this when, despite you loving it, it hurts you just as much and he knows it. 

“You know,” Jimin continues with a glint in his eyes that not only makes you uneasy, but clearly Jungkook as well, the latter looking two seconds away from punching Jimin square in the face. “It’s called ‘Only Love’. Right, C? You created it.”

Ah, that makes a lot of sense now. What doesn’t make sense is you choking on the macaron. You should have put two and two together, to be honest, should have seen the connection the moment Jungkook appeared in front of you with everyone in this forsaken town being friends with him, but frankly, you didn’t.

You haven’t been thinking clearly for years, and you reckon it has something to do with Yoongi, who, even though he’s the only constant in your life now, is equal parts disturbing and unable to help you balance your emotions. Not that it’s his job, but being a bit less insufferable would be nice and a welcome change.

Jimin’s still holding the cup towards you, for longer than would feel just friendly, but now you see all the evil clearly. You don’t really know what to do, especially when you look at Jungkook and see him more pissed than you’ve ever seen before. Should you even take it?

“I… I think I’ll stick to black. Not that I really overdose on sugar or anything.” You stammer, wanting the earth to swallow you up rather than this shit morning continuing into a day full of hatred towards you.

Jungkook just scoffs at that, and you’re sure you hear him mutter “of fucking course, perfect timing” just as Yoongi enters the dining room.

“Morning,” Yoongi mumbles, and right as he’s about to sit at another table, Jimin places the Americano in front of you and gets up.

“No, please, sit down. I was just about to leave.”

Jungkook attempts to call Jimin out on his bullshit, but shuts his mouth in an instant when Yoongi claps Jimin on the back and sits down between you both. Turning to Namjoon, he’s still very much smirking as if he’s figured out the whole situation with you and Jungkook, especially when both his legs nudge yours and his, as if daring you both to say something.

“Bye!” Jimin sings as he’s out of the room before anyone can even breathe.

“You forgot your phone in our room.” Yoongi grumbles, stealing some macarons from you as if they were M&M’s, and preparing his plate. “A coffee please.”

“Black?” Namjoon’s grin spreads across his whole face as he gets up to fetch Yoongi’s order, because, dear lord, it wasn’t a kindly meant request.

“You got it.”

As if the morning hadn’t already strangled your emotions enough, your blood’s now boiling because Yoongi couldn’t just bring your stupid phone with him as if that would have been the greatest task in the world. But somehow, seeing Jungkook’s mood crash even more, you’re glad to have a moment to escape the scene, hoping that when you return, it won’t be with police tape around the place.

You don’t have the faintest idea what’s up with him. It’s not like he’s just mad at you—although you know he definitely is. Hell, you’d be mad at yourself if you were him. But something else must’ve happened, something that’s got him this wound up, not only at the sight of you and Yoongi, but his friends too.

It’s no surprise to find your phone where Yoongi said it would be, and seeing it now, face down, you’re beyond thankful he didn’t just hand it to you in front of everyone.

You just want to grab it quickly and shove it into the tight pocket of your leggings, thinking it’s lying on the info sheet from Namjoon, when Yoongi’s handwriting catches your attention. Black ink, neatly written down for all time:

‘Future’s gonna be okay.’

It soothes and breaks your heart all at once, especially when you spot a teeny tiny black heart too. Yoongi might argue it’s just a splatter from the pen, but you know better. Being close to your cousin is a rollercoaster in every imaginable way, but it’s worth it. Because he cares. Because he’ll understand, even if he doesn’t always show it the way you need.

Taking a very, very deep, steadying breath, you leave the note where it is, knowing you’ll definitely need it when you come back tonight, after what will surely be a wonderful day with Jungkook. You just hope you survive it.

Snowboarding doesn’t even scare you as much as Jungkook does. But you steel yourself not to panic, not to freak out about how clueless you are. Time will tell. Future’s gonna be okay.

And with that thought, you head back to the others, wanting something more substantial in your stomach than sugary sweets.

“Odd?”

“Yeah, odd,” Jungkook growls, and you stop short before entering the room again.

“I think I’m treating her just right for who she is to me,” Yoongi laughs, and you can hear the mischief in his voice, full of shit and in full wind-up mode.

There’s no way you’re really letting this turn into a crime scene, so you march into the room, eyes boring into the back of Yoongi’s head, knowing he’ll feel it.

Thankfully, no one says anything, but the looks speak volumes. Jungkook’s glaring daggers at you, Namjoon’s got that worried, torn look like a parent watching their toddler near the stairs, and Yoongi’s just…amused.

Frankly, your appetite’s vanished, and you don’t want to risk sitting down and getting dragged into whatever mess you’re missing today.

“When do we leave?” You ask Jungkook directly, using a tired, fed-up tone you haven’t dared yet.

It seems to do the trick, sobering everyone up as they take their last bites and gulps of coffee, getting ready to move.

Namjoon, ever the sweetheart, hands you the americano, and this time, you’re grateful for it. Screw the memories—you need caffeine to get through this day. A shot of something stronger in it might’ve been better, but alas.

“Thanks, Joon.”

That, of course, earns you a dirty look from Jungkook and an amused one from Yoongi.

“I’ll just grab my stuff real quick.”

“Yeah, we’re waiting in our slippers,” Yoongi says drily, overtaking Jungkook by the door, who looks at you like he can’t believe this is happening.

You ignore them both, turning to Namjoon to escape the drama, but only stumble into another one instead.

“So he’s your ex.”

You groan, shoulders slumping along with your coffee, exasperated as you realise Namjoon’s got you alone.

“Kinda obvious.”

“It is. Some other things are obvious too.”

You give him a long stare, the kind of stare you’ve perfected from hours of silent contests with Jungkook, but Namjoon, who’s obviously used to this too, isn’t fazed the slightest.

“Spill.”

“You’re both adults. Talk.”

Yeah, like it’s that simple. Sit down, have a rational, level-headed chat with Jungkook? Not likely.

“Thanks for breakfast. I’m out.”

You throw a peace sign over your shoulder, knowing you’re not getting anything more out of him, whether he’s right or wrong.

Being civil with Jungkook would be step one before you could even dream of a productive conversation. But based on how this breakfast is going, hell, the whole stay up until now, it’s clear that ‘civil’ is something you’ll never be when it comes to Jungkook. 

“Here.” Yoongi’s brought you your boots and gear, and the reason is instantly clear when Jungkook reappears, glaring at Yoongi like he’s about to snap.

“Could you both please be civil? I’d like to enjoy this holiday,” you snap, so utterly fed up, wishing you could put them both in time-out.

“Sorry,” Yoongi and Jungkook mumble in unison, but the looks they exchange right after make the apology feel pointless.

Even though you’re still struggling way more than you should with these snowboard boots—which surely came straight out of hell just to make your life that little bit more difficult—you still don’t let anyone help you. Not Jungkook, who stopped moving towards you after you shot him an evil glare, and not Yoongi, who suffered the same fate.

Eventually, you manage, somehow. And when you’re ready to go, the three of you grab your snowboards, which are leaning against the wall near the fireplace. It’s not easy to carry yours on your own, especially when the sharp edge cuts into your gloved palm and your other hand is occupied with your Americano. The bindings are digging into your forearm with their stupid weight distribution, but there’s no way you’re going to drag it any other way. Not when you’re not willing to sacrifice your caffeine—that’s just not happening in any lifetime of yours.

Yoongi, for once, is chivalrous enough to open the door for you, but you can’t really appreciate it like you would under normal circumstances. Your nerves are running thin—so thin you’re half-tempted to just smash the chime to dust with your snowboard to shut it up yourself. But you’re not strong enough, and with your luck, Jungkook—who’s walking right behind you—would probably end up on the receiving end of your terrible aim.

No one says a word during the entire walk to the hill, which, now that you think about it, feels worse than all the snide remarks. It’s not like fighting—or going straight for each other’s throats—is the best solution, but this simmering tension isn’t much better either. And you reckon it’s only a matter of time before someone goes off like a bloody nuclear bomb.

Though the real question is, who?

You’d love nothing more than to get inside Jungkook’s head, to take a peek at whatever thoughts are running through his pretty head and figure out why he’s been acting like this—irrational around others, but all sentimental when it’s just the two of you. It’s starting to seriously grate on your nerves.

Seeing that he wants to talk about everything that went down between you both is something you never thought would happen. But his approach? Not ideal. There’s no way you’re having a deep conversation with him before the day has even properly started, and definitely not in the middle of the street. And you’d much rather not have this conversation with others around too, thank you very much.

But the thing is, you’re still not sure if you want to be alone with him. What if your resolve to be all mature and talk like adults crumbles the second he looks at you with those sad eyes again? What if he’s just looking for answers so he can have the closure you know you’ll never get?

The thought feels selfish in every possible way. It disgusts you too, but you’re only human, not some robot who can function without feeling, without knowing what love or losing it is.

You let out a loud sigh, no longer able to bear the weight of the world—or the burning gaze of Jungkook boring into your back. 

“S’up?” Yoongi nudges you causing you to sway, the heavy drag of your boots not helping either. 

“Just enjoying the fresh air.” You bullshit, stepping right up the snow at the base of the beginners hill. 

“The only thing getting fresh air are my middle ears. Fucking feel the inflammation building.”

You’re sure Jungkook hadn’t intended to snort at Yoongi’s remark, but even he can’t seem to resist the humour in the nonsense that sometimes escapes Yoongi’s mouth.

“Some air gonna knock you out?” you tease, trying to nudge Yoongi back, though you fail miserably.

Thankfully, Jungkook’s quick enough to steady you with a free hand before you face-plant into the snow, which is far from the fluffy stuff it was yesterday—now hard as stone.

“You know you’re old when air’s hurting you, ___. You’ll understand when you’re my age.”

You hope that‘ll not be true. 

“Alright,” Jungkook claps once, and you and Yoongi fall into line in front of him after setting your boards and coffee aside. “Yesterday we covered most of the snowboarding theory. Three important things. What are they?”

Silence.

“Awareness, balance, control.”

It’s clear Jungkook’s waiting for something, and after a few agonising moments of just staring at each other, it clicks. He wants you to repeat what he said.

“Awareness,” you start, but Yoongi either hasn’t caught on or really doesn’t care, but you give him a nudge, and eventually, the two of you echo back Jungkook’s words.

“Awareness, balance, control.”

“Right, now, while we’re at it—let’s talk a bit more theory. After awareness, balance, and control, it’s all about anticipation. You can’t just react to things at the last minute, yeah? You’ve got to anticipate the changes. Know what’s coming. Whether it’s an obstacle in your path, a turn, or… someone doing something you didn’t expect.”

“For fuck’s sake, Jungkook! Man up and say it to my face if you’ve got something to say!”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Fuck you did! And you—shut your fucking mouth!” You jab your gloved finger at Yoongi, who stops laughing immediately.

You’re not sure what’s gotten into Jungkook to act so irrational again, but whatever it is, you’ve had enough. Either he stays professional during the lesson, or you’re out. This kind of treatment—whatever you did to him or not—isn’t something you’ll tolerate. Not from him, not from anyone.

Jungkook seems to realise his mistake, or maybe he just doesn’t have the guts to confront you directly about what’s been bothering him. You reckon after all these years, he still hasn’t learned how to communicate properly. Then again, you’re not exactly great at that either.

“How about you stick to teaching during the course and stay in your lane? How about I can at least enjoy this for a few hours?”

Jungkook just nods, not the least approving, and if it weren’t for Yoongi placing a hand on your heaving shoulder and sucking his teeth, you might’ve lunged at Jungkook and strangled him right then and there.

“Right, well, before we get onto the boards, we need to warm up. Can’t have you both pulling muscles before you even touch the snow properly.”

“Please, no running,” Yoongi mutters under his breath.

“No, no running. First up, let’s stretch. Loosen up those muscles. Very important. Otherwise, you might… strain yourself. And trust me, some people,” he side-eyes you, “have a habit of rushing into things without getting properly prepared or listening to what the other person has to say.”

You grit your teeth. Oh, you’re so ready to kill him. If looks could kill, both you and Jungkook would be dead by now. “What the fuck is your problem?” you seethe dangerously low. 

“So, what are we doing first? Jumping jacks? Star jumps?” Yoongi asks sarcastically, more to defuse the situation than out of any real interest in actually participating in this course.

“No, mate. We’re not at boot camp. Just a simple warm-up to start. Arms, legs, get the blood flowing.” Jungkook begins rolling his shoulders and doing some arm circles. “Follow me. Arms out, nice and wide. Slow circles. Loosen up your shoulders. You need a good range of movement, especially when you’re… navigating tricky situations.”

You and Yoongi do your best to follow along, despite the thick jackets. Opting to be the bigger person here, you do your best to ignore Jungkook’s pointed glances and the occasional gust of cold air grazing your stomach whenever you raise your arms too high.

“Good. Now, bend forward, touch your toes—well, try to. Don’t force it. Some people are naturally more flexible than others, but hey, no rush.”

Throughout the whole stretching exercises, you keep your mouth shut, knowing that playing into his madness wouldn’t do either of you any good. You just can’t process it all at this point. And how could you?

Since the moment you stepped foot into this stupid little town, you haven’t had a minute to think. Especially not after Jungkook entered your life again. You’re jealous of all the people out there who can adapt to every moment, who aren’t as utterly pathetic at handling things as you are.

It must be genetics, because, dear lord, you’ve never been good at handling tricky situations, but the ones involving your ex are on another level. You can tell yourself to be cool and collected as much as you want, but at the end of the day, Jungkook will always trigger you.

And if it’s not with his passive-aggressive remarks, it’s with his broken sadness.

“Perfect. Let’s move on then. Before we get into the snowboards, I’ll just have to adjust your bindings real quick, and then we’ll start. For that, I’ll need to see which foot of yours is the dominant one.”

Jungkook walks silently behind you both, looking down at the snow with a slight frown on his lips while you follow his movements with your eyes.

“I’ll start with you, Yoongi. Relax your stance, I’ll push you from behind. Don’t think too much, just catch yourself, yeah?”

Jungkook’s now standing directly behind Yoongi, and as he raises his hand and places it on Yoongi’s back, right between his shoulder blades, your gut twists, fearing Jungkook might push him too hard, letting his anger out because he can’t restrain himself.

But to your relief, Jungkook pushes Yoongi ever so lightly, causing the older man to take a step forward, landing on his right foot.

“Right foot back, your stance is regular.” Jungkook just nods to himself, moving on to stand behind you now. “Your turn, ___. Again, just relax, don’t overthink it. I’ll push you now.”

How can you stay relaxed when Jungkook’s now directly behind you, when you not only feel the weight of his hand on your back but imagine you can feel the warmth of it too? It nearly leaves you gasping, not used to Jungkook touching you anymore.

“Relax,” Jungkook mutters ever so softly, causing your shoulders to drop as you take a deep breath, willing yourself to block him out as best you can.

The push is gentle, and while you take a step forward out of reflex, it’s the same reflex that misses his hand on your back.

“Left is your dominant foot, so goofy’s your stance.”

“Goofy?!”

It sounds offensive. Does it sound offensive? Because both Yoongi and Jungkook look at you, puzzled by your outburst.

Wasn’t that another jab?

“Yeah, it’s called goofy,” Jungkook says, Yoongi nodding as if to tell you to calm down.

“Oh. Okay.”

Jungkook pulls a tiny toolbox from the inner pocket of his jacket while you follow Yoongi, who’s picking up his board. He takes Yoongi’s snowboard first, placing it on his bent knee and unscrewing the first binding.

“Forefoot 18 degrees, back foot 7 degrees,” Yoongi mutters, not the least bit mocking. 

You’re not sure why Yoongi has a preference, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to question it, just nodding and adjusting Yoongi’s bindings to his liking.

When it’s your turn, Jungkook still doesn’t say anything as he takes the board from your hands, and while the adjustments look just the same as Yoongi’s to you, it’s clear both men see the difference as Yoongi interjects, “Fix the left one a bit more outwards, it’ll give her more control.”

Jungkook looks up at that, not angered, not ready to snap, as his eyes flit briefly to you before he eventually just nods and does as Yoongi suggested. Maybe not playing into Jungkook’s remarks earlier was the right course of action, seeing that even though it’s still awkward between you three, it’s more civil than it was before.

Jungkook stuffs his toolbox back into his pocket and turns to grab his own snowboard. As he straps his right foot into the binding, he calls out, “Fasten your front foot onto the board. We’re practising gliding.”

Yoongi does as instructed without a hitch, but you’re struggling a bit. The straps keep getting in the way, making it impossible to secure your foot properly.

Without a word, Jungkook hops over, dragging his board behind him, and quickly fastens the bindings for you.

“Thanks,” you mutter, but he doesn’t meet your eyes, just nods before heading back in front of you both.

“So, it’s simple. Push yourself forward with your free foot, step on the board, and glide for as long as you can. It’ll help you get a feel for the board. And remember—where you look is where you go. Look down, you’ll fall. Look forward, and you’ll be fine as long as your balance is decent.”

Jungkook demonstrates the glide with ease, while Yoongi follows suit right after, looking like he’s done this before, making it seem like a breeze. 

Alright, how hard can it be?

Turns out, pretty damn hard. As soon as you try, your arms flail like mad, desperately trying to regain balance. You stumble forward, managing to catch yourself at the last second, but not before the board lifts off the ground and slams right into your calf.

“Ouch!”

It hurts like hell, and you’re certain a bruise is already forming.

“Take it slow, no rush,” Jungkook says, not even glancing back.

You try a few more times, and while it feels like you’re going to lose a leg by the end of the day, you’re slowly getting the hang of it.

Yoongi’s already finished, standing beside Jungkook and watching you like some proud parent their child who’s learning to swim. You don’t mind though—better that than getting frustrated watching him nail everything effortlessly.

“That’s great, let’s move up the hill and practise side slipping. It’s like a lazy way to snowboard, but it’s useful.”

Dragging yourself up the hill feels like a workout in itself with your board still clasped onto your foot, your calf still throbbing from earlier.

“First things first,” Jungkook’s bending down to his board, “strap your other foot in as well. You want to be on your heel edge or your toe edge. We’ll start with heels, ‘cause if you start on your toes and mess up, you’ll just end up pissed off.”

Once again, Jungkook demonstrates the technique, and once again, Yoongi seems to pick it up straight away. Meanwhile, you’re down on your ass every other minute, frustration building but refusing to quit just yet. Jungkook lets you keep at it until you’ve finally got the hang of it, while Yoongi again just stands there with him, chatting the day away, apparently needing no extra practice.

“Why doesn’t he have to practise?” you yell down the hill.

“Because he doesn’t need to.”

You’re fuming, but deep down you know Jungkook’s right. Still, Yoongi’s supposed to be doing this with you, not just standing there like a supervisor. The anger helps though, because as you slide down the hill again, it’s smooth and controlled—and you feel damn proud of yourself.

“Alright, next exercise. We’re going to slide down on your toe edge now. Flip over so you’re facing up the hill, with your toes digging into the snow.”

You’re already panting from the climb back up the hill, but there’s no rest in sight. Jungkook leaves his board behind as you drag yourself up again, determined to finish this.

“Now,” Jungkook says, “bend your knees, lean forward slightly—like you’re bowing to a king. Lift your heels off the snow, so you’re balanced on your toes. And don’t panic if it feels weird at first. Yoongi, can you please demonstrate?”

“Sure,” Yoongi says, nailing the move effortlessly.

You can’t figure out why Yoongi’s suddenly Jungkook’s little helper, or why Jungkook’s board is still down the hill, but you focus on trying to imitate Yoongi’s technique. You get into position, dig your toes in, but the next second, you slip, barely catching yourself before faceplanting into the snow.

Jungkook’s by your side in seconds, pulling you up by the arms. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” you pant, swallowing the panic that’s rising in your chest. But your grip on his arms gives away just how terrified you are.

“Come on, I’ll help you.”

Jungkook’s hands slide down your arms until he’s holding your hands securely, but just as quickly, he lets go. You immediately lose your balance, nearly falling backwards as your whole life flashes before your eyes.

“Shit!” His hands grab you at the last second, keeping you from toppling over.

“Don’t just let go like that!”

“Why are your gloves this wet?”

You don’t have time to defend yourself against Jungkook’s scolding as he abruptly forces his leg between yours, angling his heel between the snow and your board to keep you in place and balance. 

The proximity to Jungkook has an instant effect on you. Your brain shuts down, and though your blood is rushing through your veins at an overwhelming speed, it somehow calms you down just the same.

Being this close to him, not only seeing him but feeling all of his body pressed against yours, mixed with his intoxicating scent, makes you never want to let go of him again.

“Hold onto me,” he murmurs softly, the closeness making it unnecessary to speak any louder than a breath.

You can’t help yourself, staring at his face, even though he’s avoiding eye contact as he removes your gloves, letting them fall silently behind him. You reckon he hasn’t changed much—just a few piercings and some faint lines caused by age now marking his otherwise mesmerising face. But still, he’s the same.

The same lashes framing his big eyes, the same kissable lips now a bit cracked from the cold, the same glowing skin with that faint scar on his cheek.

It throws you back in time but also makes you ache for all the time spent apart. It’s impossible to feel resentment for the harsh things he’s said, impossible to feel anything but the deep love you still have for him. It’s impossible to look away, even though he isn’t meeting your gaze, busy tugging off his gloves with his teeth.

When his hand reaches for yours, wrapping them in the warmth of his own gloves, you feel like you might break right then and there. You’ve been a fool for pushing him away, for ending things in the first place, when he’s always been this good to you—even now, after all these years.

When Jungkook finally finishes and his eyes meet yours for the first time, you don’t dare breathe, even if you physically could. It’s like the heartbreak never happened, healed by the closeness of two hearts that know they can only beat as one.

You see it in his eyes, like you always could back then, that he feels it too—or at least something close to what you feel.

“I never meant to hurt you,” you manage to say, your voice breaking ever so faintly, with a slight sheen of tears coating your eyes.

“I know,” Jungkook smiles ever so softly, as if he’s always known, as if he understands. But still, he steps back, leaving you cold and longing again, only holding your hands just firmly enough to help you keep your balance. “Try again, toes in the snow, knees bent.”

You swallow the hurt down, knowing you’ve got no right to feel this way, and with Jungkook’s help, you slide down the hill. You succeed, but as soon as you reach the base, Jungkook steps back completely, walking over to Yoongi while instructing, “Try again now on your own.”

And you do. Multiple times until you master it as best you can, all while you know you’re being watched by the two most important men in your life.

Lunch is spent in a tiny fast-food restaurant nearby, just because you’re so hungry you can’t wait ages for a proper meal. Jungkook excuses himself to take a phone call, and you notice a picture of Hara on his screen, though you weren’t fast enough to see whose name was at the top, or if it’s his lock screen or Hara’s contact picture.

“Why are you so good at snowboarding?” you try to sound angry, though your mouth is stuffed, hoping Yoongi can still make sense of the words.

“I’ve been snowboarding before.”

“You what?” You swallow the bite forcefully, needing space to articulate the insults he deserves. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why am I paying for a crash course for you?”

“I didn’t thi—”

“Why the fuck have I paid for and rented your gear?!”

Yoongi goes silent, eating his meal like he’s bored, giving you time to yell at him some more before he speaks. But you don’t, just widen your eyes and shake your head to emphasise how livid you are.

“I didn’t think you’d want to come alone.”

“That’s such a shit excuse, Yoongs. You should have at least paid for yourself. Fucking parasite.”

“Yo, show some respect. You said you’d pay for everything. It’s not like I forced you.”

“Forced me?! You wouldn’t have come otherwise!”

“I can still hang in our suite and leave you alone with Mr. Leaf-in-the-wind.”

“That’s rude.”

“It’s true, and you know it.”

He’s kinda right. But you can see where Jungkook’s coming from, somehow understand why he’s acting the way he does.

You sigh at that, leaning back with another mouthful of food, knowing you should really work on your manners. “You’re not leaving me alone with him. No way.”

“If you say so.”

You startle slightly when Jungkook slides into the seat beside you, hoping he didn’t catch any of what was said while he was gone. And even though you’re dying to know who was calling, you’d rather strip bare in the middle of the restaurant than ask, not wanting to look like some jealous, controlling ex-girlfriend.

“Hara called,” you fucking knew it. “Said Namjoon’s arranged dinner at Jin’s.”

You and Yoongi just hum, though you reckon you’re the only one finding it rude. But who can blame you? You are jealous, you are a fucking control freak, and Jungkook looking the way he does definitely doesn’t help.

You hadn’t noticed before, thanks to his oversized clothes, just how buff he’s become. But seeing him now, his upper body hugged by thermal gear so tight it might as well be see-through, makes you even pettier than you already were at the mention of Hara. And how could you not be?

Clearly, he’s been working out more since you split. Maybe you were holding him back from getting in shape too. It’s funny—you always thought Jungkook peaked while he was with you, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

You force the rest of your meal down in silence, occasionally glancing up at Jungkook and Yoongi, who are doing the same. It’s not like you want this silence to linger, but you don’t know what to say, and neither do they.

It’s slightly bothering you that both men were comfortable enough to chat the whole morning away while you were busy trying not to face-plant into the snow, and now can’t seem to say a single word with you around. Maybe you were the problem all along. 

Ugh, you hate having those thoughts again, especially since you’ve made such progress with your self-esteem recently, and now it’s crashing back down, spiralling like something you can’t escape.

When everyone’s finally finished, you pack up your things and step back outside into the cold, hoping the rest of the day goes by as civilly as the last few hours have been. 

Hours later, you’re spent. So utterly spent you’re sure you won’t make it to Jin’s without falling asleep midway through. Like Snow White, you want to lie down and sleep, and for no one to kiss you awake. Though, if you think about it, Jungkook would make a formidable prince.

Stop. You can’t think like this, you won’t allow such homewrecker thoughts. Not when things went well after lunch and there’s hope you can talk shit out.

After finally managing to learn how to take turns on that snowboard straight out of hell, and now being able to proudly say you can get down the beginners’ hill without breaking a single bone, you feel more accomplished than you ever have. Still, you hate snowboarding, and still won’t be doing it again once the two weeks are up.

“Why aren’t we eating at the hostel?”

You didn’t mean to say it out loud, not with Namjoon walking right beside you, and it might come off as though you’re calling him out for saying he’d be your chef during the trip, but hasn’t cooked a single thing for you yet. Namjoon’s blush only deepens your regret, though he takes it in stride.

“Well…uhm…I just thought that—”

“He can’t cook to save his life.” Jungkook interrupts Namjoon’s clear attempt to save face, and you’d never expected to see such a smug look on Jungkook’s face while throwing his friend under the bus.

“Oh, that’s cute. Plenty of women like to cook for their man.” You nudge Namjoon, hoping it’ll ease the tension just a little.

“Ah, I don’t know about that.”

“Did you watch the game?” Jungkook asks, louder than necessary, slowing his pace so he falls in beside Namjoon, forcing you to step aside to avoid colliding with his stupid back. 

The glare he sends your way matches your own, and you’re sure you can read in his eyes that he wants you to back off from his friend. You barely register what Namjoon and Yoongi are talking about, something vivid about an epic basketball game, too caught up in a silent conversation with Jungkook about what his problem is—and yours. But it’s like you’re out of sync, all questions missed, and answers elusive throughout the whole short walk to Jin’s. 

You hadn’t expected Jin’s to be such a lavish restaurant. Despite having the same rustic feel as the rest of the town, there’s a touch of poshness that makes it more enchanting than any other place you’ve been.

Jungkook wastes no time after stepping inside behind you, passing you to get to the bar where Hara and Hope are perched. Sadly, or maybe thankfully, you don’t see how he greets them, as a man steps into your view, broad shoulders blocking everything else.

“Welcome! I’m Jin! You must be ___.”

Jin practically squeezes you to death with his hug, your sore muscles protesting at how tight he holds you. You can’t hold back your laugh, not only because his greeting is the warmest you’ve ever received, but because you know the moment he lets go of you, he’ll do the same to Yoongi.

“Thanks for having us, Jin,” you squeak, tapping his back in hopes it’ll make him release you.

“Oh please, I’m so thrilled to finally meet you both.” Jin beams down at you before turning to throw himself at Yoongi, just as you predicted. “Yoongi, hi!”

“Please let go of me.” But Jin doesn’t listen, and you think he squeezes your grumpy cousin even tighter than before until he finally lets him go too.

“I’ve prepared a whole course for you three. I know Jungkook can be a bit demanding with his food, so I’ll make sure you’re well fed.”

Jin guides you to a table near the bar, and like the little control freak you are, you opt for the chair that gives you a view of the whole restaurant, including the bar. You don’t have a great view of Jungkook and Hara, though, as Namjoon is standing perfectly in front of them, but you think you see Hara leaning against Jungkook.

It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, twisting the knife of jealousy oh-so-slowly in your gut. You’re not sure how Jungkook could have found someone new so quickly, especially after telling you over and over again that you were the love of his life. Maybe it was just heartbreak that drove him to find solace in someone else. Maybe it’s just a hungry heart wanting to be fed with a fraction of love.

But you don’t want to assume that Hara’s love for him can’t compete with yours. Even though a part of you is certain that what you felt—and still feel—for him is beyond anything humanly possible. And even if her love for him is pure, yours will always outshine hers. Or maybe that’s just the green-eyed monster talking, infecting your thoughts.

But so be it. There’s nothing left to lose after you lost Jungkook, after you lost yourself, not just during your relationship with him, but in so much more.

Jin takes your drink order, and while at first you thought a Diet Coke would be nice after today, you opt for a whole bottle of wine. Not to share. Oh no, it’s entirely for yourself, because if you’re going to spend the evening witnessing Jungkook with his new flame, you’re definitely not doing it sober.

“You look jealous.”

“You don’t say.”

“Talk to him.”

“About what, Yoongs?” you snap as quietly as possible, fingers digging into the tablecloth to stop yourself from losing it. “How he’s fucking that model? Or how easy it was for him to move on?”

“That would be a start.”

“You’re ridiculous. Now shut up, they’re coming over.”

It’s not like you want to stare, but seeing Jungkook so at ease with Hara makes your stomach turn. And why Yoongi had to sit opposite you, leaving no other option but for Hara and Jungkook to sit on either side of you, is something you’ll never forgive him for.

“Hey!” Hara greets you both so warmly that you regret bashing her in your thoughts. Even if she’s Jungkook’s girlfriend, she’s always been nice to you.

“Hey, how have you been?”

Jin takes this moment to bring over a tray full of drinks. Yoongi has a beer, Hara a glass of water like Jungkook—yuck—and he sets the whole bottle of wine with a fitting glass in front of you. You should feel embarrassed, but you really don’t.

“You want some too?” you ask Hara out of politeness, knowing Jungkook never drinks during the week, as you pour yourself a generous first glass of your survival drink, wanting nothing more than to down it all before dinner starts.

“Oh no, thank you! I’m pregnant.”

The bottle’s still in your hand, but the glass is already at your lips with a hearty sip in your mouth, which you promptly snort back into the glass. You’re not sure if the tears springing to your eyes are just from the wine burning your sinuses and uncontrollably coughs or from your heart crumbling into dust at this revelation.

Jungkook—bless the tiny space you still occupy in his heart—is at your side in seconds, helping you recover from the near-death experience, but his touch feels scolding now.

Scolding in a way that makes you think back to all the times he said he wanted to be a dad, to all the times he fucked you raw and let his kink give you the best orgasms of your life. And eventually, you have to force yourself not to picture it—how he found all of that with Hara.

“Congratulations!” you manage to force out after everyone’s back in their seats and a bit of quiet has settled.

“Thank you! We’re all so happy, right?” Hara caresses her stomach, beaming at Jungkook, who looks just as thrilled as she does.

“Yeah! It’s going to have a wonderful mother.”

“Duh.” She laughs, sipping her water while you drown your glass, smiling and nodding as if you couldn’t agree more.

You don’t recall much of the conversations during dinner, don’t remember the sweet lies you told to hide how broken you are. But when Jungkook and Hara disappear into the kitchen after the meal, you grab Yoongi from his chair and drag him towards the door.

“Bye! Thanks for dinner!” you call to Namjoon and Hope, who look confused, but you’re too tipsy to care. Too tipsy to make out what Jin says to you as he rushes out of the kitchen, while you stumble outside.

“What was that?” Yoongi pulls his arm out of your grasp, hating it when you’re like this.

But you can’t hold it together anymore, alcohol always making you sad, emotional, and sentimental. Maybe it was the last straw—time to let Jungkook go, though him being so wound up this morning still nags at your mind.

“I’ve changed my mind.” You start walking towards the hostel, hearing Yoongi following, the snow crunching under your feet. “You’re free to do whatever you want.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Yes, you are. You need to end this limbo once and for all.

“I need answers, and I won’t get any if I’m not alone with Jungkook.”

Day 3

Maybe opting to spend the day alone with Jungkook wasn’t the best idea you’ve had. Not that it isn’t necessary to finally get the answers that have been piling up, but you’re not sure how to ask him without it turning into an interrogation.

Facing Jungkook first thing this morning would’ve been too much too, especially since you’ve barely had time to process the pregnancy bomb Hara dropped on you. So, sneaking out of the hostel it is.

You regret not stopping by Hope’s to grab your winter boots, but with no other option, you head out in full snowboarding gear, aiming to grab breakfast at Jimin’s.

What you didn’t expect was to spot Hara in the pastry shop as you stand outside, staring longingly at the treats like a starving kid. You can’t face her right now, so you quickly turn and decide to head anywhere else but here or the hostel, hoping there’s another bakery somewhere in town.

But of course, in your bulky snowboarding gear, you’re not exactly inconspicuous, looking more like an oversized ball of dark fabric against the snow. Naturally, Jimin spots you straight away, waving you in like you originally planned.

And of course, Hara notices too, her soft eyes and glowing smile radiating warmth as she waves at you.

Forcing a smile, you head to the entrance and with one deep breath, step into the lion’s den, thinking breakfast spent with Jungkook would have been the better option. 

“Morning, ___!”

“Hey Hara. Jimin.”

You’re still a bit pissed at Jimin for being a little shit yesterday, stirring the pot between you and Jungkook for no reason. But seeing him now, friendly and without the evil glint in his eyes, tempers your anger just a bit.

“The usual?”

“I didn’t know I had one,” you laugh, now standing beside Hara, who’s practically pressed up against the glass display of sweets. It’s kind of cute, and you reckon the pregnancy hormones are hitting her hard, especially this early in the morning.

“I’d die for a coffee,” she mumbles, fogging up the glass and quickly wiping it clear again to not spoil her view.

Jimin’s back is to both of you, already busy with the coffee machine. “I could make you a decaf.”

“No, I read somewhere that decaf isn’t really decaf. And while nursing, caffeine stays in the baby’s system for up to three days. I don’t even want to think about how long it stays in their system when they’re still in the womb.”

“Oh, that’s wild. I didn’t know that.” You’re genuinely shocked by the news, and a little concerned for any women who don’t know either.

“Yeah.” Hara sighs, fogging the glass up again and immediately wiping it clean.

Why Jimin’s not serving Hara first and is making your coffee instead is beyond you, but you don’t say anything. Maybe she can’t decide what to eat just yet, or there’s something she’s avoiding. Either way, you don’t want to end up as the town’s biggest grouch.

“Aren’t you warm?” Hara asks, glancing at you, though her gaze keeps drifting back to the sweets.

“Yeah.” You stammer a little, awkwardly taking off your coat, walking back to the door to hang it up on the rack, which has been bodged together again. You realise quickly that Namjoon or Jimin clearly aren’t cut out for DIY which is definitely a pass.

“Something to eat?”

“Yes,” you and Hara answer in unison, though hers is more of a relieved sigh, making you giggle as you make your way to the table you sat at some days ago.

“What’ll it be then?”

“How about a bit of everything as an apology?” you tease, unable to let his mischief slide like you probably should.

“Touche.”

“What did he do again?” Hara’s now sitting beside you, both of you watching Jimin as he diligently piles treats onto a massive plate. A brief flicker of guilt runs through you as you think about the way you’ve been eating lately, except for that one perfect meal at Jin’s. But you’re only here for a few days, so you might as well make the most of it. There’s no way you’re saying no to all this food, especially when Jimin owes you more than that.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Mhm, sure,” you smirk, crossing your arms as you exchange glances with Hara, who’s clearly curious and ready for some gossip, even if it’s at your expense.

She looks stunning in the soft morning light filtering through the window, her thick black hair falling in loose waves like she’s fresh from a blowout. Maybe it’s just good genes, because her skin is flawless—no makeup, no blemishes, no dark circles.

Maybe, in another life, she could’ve been a friend. But there’s no way you could ever be close to someone who’s got the man you love.

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad.”

“What did he do?” Hara’s leaning forward now, elbows on the table, hands framing her perfect face as she eagerly looks between you and Jimin, clearly hooked on your tea. 

“He’s been a little shit, stirring trouble.”

“I just brought you your favourite,” Jimin grins innocently, making his way to the table. But you can clearly see the mischievous glint in his eyes again, and before you know it, he’s setting down the dreaded americano in front of you. Hara’s already grabbed a macaron, barely waiting for the plate to touch the table.

“What’s so bad—” Hara starts,  talking through a mouthful of food in a way only you could relate to, but Jimin cuts her off. 

“She’s his ex.”

Hara’s reaction is immediate—she starts choking on her pastry, and you flash back to last night when you nearly drowned yourself with wine. You’re unsure what to do, hesitating with your hands hovering over her, worried about whether patting a pregnant woman on the back is safe as your panic rises. Luckily, Jimin sprints behind the counter, grabs a bottle of water, and leaps back over to hand it to her.

Thankfully, Hara recovers quickly, and your heart slows down as you see she’s alright.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?!”

That’s…not the reaction you were expecting.

“If you’d just checked the group chat, you’d know.”

“Wait, you have a group chat where you talk about me?!”

“Not important.” Hara waves you off with a hand, though the growing smile on her face makes the gesture anything but rude. She pulls out her phone and starts scrolling through missed messages, clearly catching up on something you’re not privy to.

You try to sneak a glance at her screen, but she leans away, blocking your view. Instead, you watch her face as she scrolls—at first, there are little giggles, but soon her expression sours into a full-on pout.

What the hell are they texting about you? Isn’t that illegal or something?

“Why?” she whines, looking at Jimin while your confusion just deepens.

“Dunno. Ask Namjoon.” 

“Namjoon?” The name slips out before you can stop yourself. It doesn’t make any sense for him to be involved in this.

Hara lets out an exasperated sigh, sinking into her seat like she already knows the answer Namjoon would give but is too drained to accept it. “Ugh, no way.”

You clear your throat, hoping to redirect the conversation, though the frustration is building. “Namjoon?”

“Yeah, Namjoon. Now eat before it gets cold.”

“Your pastries are cold,” you shoot back, but Jimin just waves it off.

“See? Now eat.” And with that, he disappears through the door leading to the back, leaving you stewing. You hate him for this—stirring up chaos and then vanishing as if he didn’t cause it in the first place. 

Hara, meanwhile, seems lost in her thoughts, again eating, one hand’s wrapped around a croissant, the other clutches a muffin. How she manages to look like she’s stepped straight out of a commercial is beyond you, and somehow it fits that Jungkook would be with someone like her.

You hesitate, not daring to nudge her. You’ve never spent much time around pregnant women—how fragile are they, really? Better safe than sorry.

“Namjoon?” you ask again, more gently this time.

Her eyes flick up to yours, as if she momentarily forgot where she was. There’s no defensiveness in her gaze, only a soft apology. She places the muffin down and reaches out to touch your arm after wiping it clean on her sweater, her hand gentle and comforting like a mother consoling a child. She’s really going to make a great mum.

“I’m sorry, love. I can’t tell you.”

Surprisingly, it doesn’t make you angry. You should be furious, with how cryptic everyone’s being, and especially with how inconsistent Jungkook’s been treating you lately. But you can see the sincerity in Hara’s face. She really is sorry, and somehow, that makes it harder to be mad. She’s just…lovable in all the ways you’re sure you never could be.

So you just nod, defeated, and finally start eating your breakfast as well. Thinking about all the conversations you could have with Hara right now makes deciding which one you’d actually want to have not that easy. 

Asking about her pregnancy could be a start, maybe how far along she is since she’s not showing yet. It would be a question asked just for the sake of it, to get to know her a bit better. Because quite frankly, even if you checked Jungkook’s or her social media to confirm if he was in town and might be the father of Hara’s child, it wouldn’t really help. The evidence wouldn’t be enough, seeing as he’d apparently be in Hawaii now if you took socials as proof.

Asking her how her relationship with Jungkook is? Not an option. Why would you willingly want to hear anything about their intimacy? Definite no.

Her childhood? Pass.

Her job? Don’t care.

Whether she has pets? Hmm, that would be nice to know. You love animals, regardless of their owner, so that’s where you settle.

This time though, you swallow the bite of food before speaking to Hara, who’s managed to eat half of the huge plate sitting before you both while you were lost in thought. Just as you part your lips, inhaling enough air to ask your first personal question, she freezes mid-bite with a half-eaten cinnamon roll in hand, her eyes wide.

“Oh no…” she breathes, mortified, cradling her stomach as she drops the roll and bolts towards the nearby toilet, gagging.

To your dismay, she doesn’t close the door behind her, and you can hear her throwing up everything she’s eaten so far, which sets off your own stomach. You start gagging too, barely able to stand, hating this reaction you’ve had since childhood whenever someone’s vomiting or even gagging near you.

You need to leave. Now. So you call out a quick “sorry” and “bye” with your hand over your mouth, grab your coat while passing the sad excuse of a fixed coat rack and rush outside. You’re not even fazed by the freezing cold, just relieved to be as far away from the sound of vomiting as possible.

Seeing no other option than to go back to the hostel and get your snowboard, you try to calm yourself as much as you can. It’s finally time to face Jungkook alone, how you’ll manage, you don’t know—but you’ll figure it out as you go.

When you enter the hostel, Jungkook’s already standing in full gear in the main area, turning his head from the hallway leading to the rooms when the chime signals your arrival. He looks confused for a moment, but as you approach your snowboard, you try not to let his presence faze you.

Though you fail miserably when your voice embarrassingly cracks. “Good morning.”

Jungkook still has the same effect on you. Anytime your eyes catch even a glimpse of him, whether in person or just a pixelated picture on the internet, he takes your breath away and makes you flustered all over again. It’s not like it’s something new—he’s had that effect on you ever since the first time you saw him, when he was tapping on your car window, asking if you needed help as you were clearly having a breakdown because you couldn’t, for the life of you, park in the narrow side street.

“Morning. Where’s your other half?” Jungkook’s voice turns slightly bitter, but as you look at him, you can tell he’s more irritated with himself than anything.

“He’s not coming.”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow in question, walking towards the door to leave for the hill.

“He doesn’t need it. It’s just us. Or should we cancel the lesson altogether?” You grin at him as you walk beside each other, playful but secretly hoping for a way out that won’t involve you breaking a bone today.

“No, ‘s fine.” You think you catch a small smile tugging at Jungkook’s lips, but he quickly pulls his scarf up over his mouth, hiding it.

“Did you sleep well?”

You mull over his question, wondering if whining about being awake most of the night because of Yoongi’s snoring, which could probably warrant a sleep clinic appointment, and your own relentless overthinking about Hara’s pregnancy and Jungkook’s involvement, warranting an appointment with a psychologist, would be a good idea. But you decide against it. Not just because you don’t want to confront him yet, but because voicing a lie to explain why a whole bottle of wine didn’t lull you to sleep doesn’t cross your mind quickly enough.

“Perfectly. And you?”

“Yeah, though the beds are a bit too soft. You like them though, right?”

Nostalgia hits you like a snow storm—the fact that Jungkook still remembers such trivial details about you.

“Yeah, I even brought my snuggly,” you giggle, knowing he’ll definitely remember that as well. 

What you didn’t consider is that the exact pillow you’ve been cradling every night since you got it was a gift from Jungkook himself. When his eyes snap to you, wide with recognition, searching your face to make sure he heard you right, you realise you’ve said too much.

He doesn’t ask any follow-up questions. In fact, he doesn’t say anything, and you’re too caught up in your head to even attempt small talk. How could you, with Jungkook? The two of you have never been like this, never awkward. You were always at ease, immediately friends, then more, and eventually…nothing at all.

It’s only when you reach the dreaded hill, with Jungkook stepping in front of you like the instructor he is—and how you should be seeing him right now—, that you try to bottle up everything, telling yourself you’ll bring it up later, maybe over lunch. It’s already late morning, so it won’t be too long until you get the answers you’re desperate for.

“So, today we’ll be snowboarding for real,” he starts, but it’s so much softer than when Yoongi was with you. There’s a gentleness in his tone now, something quieter, like he’s trying to ease you into it rather than push. “But before we lift up and go down the slopes, I want you to get a feel for gliding with a bit of speed.”

Yeah, no. He’s not easing, he’s definitely pushing you. You don’t like where this is going.

“First with a rope, then we’ll use the hill a few times, and hopefully before lunch we’ll make our first descent down the blue slope.”

“Blue?”

“It’s the easiest one. I’ll explain it in detail once we’re up there.” He points with his thumb over his shoulder.

Following the direction, you notice multiple skiers and snowboarders already dashing down the slopes. You’re pretty sure you hear someone scream right before they fall, snow exploding around them like flour hitting the ground. You gulp dryly, but you nod all the same.

When Jungkook pulls a cut-off lift cord from his jacket, you’re equal parts terrified and impressed by how much he carries around without you noticing.

“Clip yourself in, please,” he instructs as he unwraps the cord, walking towards you with both ends in hand.

Of course, you do as he says, but you can’t help glancing warily at the cord, still unsure of exactly what he’s got planned.

Shifting awkwardly on your snowboard, trying not to fall while Jungkook messes with the lift cord, you try to ignore the racing of your heart as Jungkook’s gloved hands tug gently around your body to secure it. But all your attempts to focus on anything other than how natural it feels for him to be helping you again, are futile at their best. 

„You ready?“ He’s got this grin on his face, one you recognise too well—the kind that usually means he’s about to do something reckless or ridiculous. It’s the same grin he had that time he convinced you to build a fort out of every cushion in his apartment, just because and why not.

“Not even a little bit,” you admit, but still, you’ve never been able to say no to that grin. Snowboarding is definitely not something you ever thought you’d be doing, yet, here you are, letting your ex teach you. It’s awkward as it sounds, except…it’s not.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you. I’m gonna start pulling now. Just relax, yeah?” he grins, his voice carrying that casual, teasing tone that makes your heart ache just a little bit too much. Swallowing hard, you adjust your stance, trying to keep your balance as he gets into position.

“Relax? You’re literally going to run while pulling me. How am I supposed to relax?” you shoot back, giving him a look. Your knees feel wobbly just thinking about it, and you’re not even moving yet.

He chuckles, his eyes crinkling ever so lovingly at the edges. “Trust me, you’ll be fine. Just focus on staying straight and let me do the hard part.”

You shake your head, but deep down, you do trust him. You always have, even when you probably shouldn’t. Like that time he tried to teach you how to ride a bike after you told him you hadn’t been on one since you were a kid. He’d run alongside you, holding the seat, laughing the whole time while you screamed about how you were going to crash. And yeah, you did crash. But he was right there to catch you before you hit the ground.

“Okay, here we go!” Jungkook calls out suddenly, interrupting your thoughts. He grabs the lift cord a bit tighter, gives it a little tug, and then he’s off—actually sprinting through the snow, pulling you behind him like some kind of sled dog.

The board jerks beneath you as you’re dragged forward, and for a split second, you think you’re about to eat snow. But you don’t. Somehow, you manage to keep your balance, your legs flexing to stay upright as you glide over the snow. You can’t help it—you let out a yelp of surprise, half-laughing, half-shrieking, as Jungkook keeps running ahead of you, turning to look over his shoulder with a huge grin on his face, sparkling eyes, and a nose red from the cold.

“See? You’re doing it!” he shouts, his voice breathless but excited, clearly proud of you just for managing not to fall.

“Don’t distract me!” you yell back, laughing now despite yourself. The rush of the cold air against your face and the ridiculousness of the situation sends a burst of adrenaline through you, and for a moment, you actually feel like you’re snowboarding. Well, sort of. „I’m going to crash!“

„Nah, I’d never let you crash!“

You look up at that and he still looks annoyingly good, like he’s stepped out of a high-end winter sports ad. You wonder if he’s thinking about the past too—about the warmth you’d felt on those lazy Sunday mornings when you’d wake up next to him, the two of you tangled in blankets, sharing groggy laughter and sleepy conversation before starting the day.

Why did it have to end? That thought keeps creeping up, even though you tell yourself not to think about it. You weren’t right for each other, or maybe you were, but just not at the right time maybe. But there are still these little moments that get you. Moments like now, when he’s right in front of you, close enough but still far away.

Jungkook slows down a little, but his grip on the cord stays secure, guiding you as you slide behind him. It’s strangely easy, being pulled along like this. You’re not focused on your feet or the board or the fear of falling—you’re just…moving because of Jungkook. Making you remember all those rare times you’d dance around the kitchen with him guiding you in his sturdy arms, not caring if you looked ridiculous or if you were stepping on each other’s socked feet. Back when everything was uncomplicated, and just being with him made you happy.

“You’re not even trying to steer!” Jungkook calls out, teasing, his breath visible in the cold air. He looks over his shoulder again, his hair bouncing slightly as he jogs, and there’s something playful and secure in his eyes—something that makes you remember why you fell for him in the first place.

“I’m trying! Let me life!” you protest, though your voice is shaky from laughing too hard. It’s ridiculous, this whole thing, but you’re actually having fun.

“Alright, I’m gonna let go now,” Jungkook warns, slowing down even more. “Get ready to stop.”

You brace yourself, bending your knees just a bit more, trying to remember everything he told you over the last two days about controlling the board. But before you can do much more than panic slightly, he releases the cord, and you glide forward, the board still carrying you for a few more feet before coming to a slow, wobbly stop right in front of him, your snowboard between his legs.

You stand there for a moment, catching your breath, and when you turn your head up to look from Jungkook’s chest to his face, there’s nothing less than a satisfied smile on his lips.

“See? Told you it’d be fun,” he smiles, like this whole thing was a walk in the park for you. Honestly, it probably would be for him. He’s always been annoyingly good at making things look easy.

“Fun? I almost fell like ten times!” you exaggerate, but you’re still smiling. You can’t help it. It’s hard not to smile when you’re around him, even now, years later. 

Slightly out of breath, he gives you that boyish grin that makes you swoon even more. “But you didn’t. And you were laughing, which means you were having fun.”

You want to argue with him, to say that just because you were laughing doesn’t mean you weren’t terrified, but the truth is, you did have fun. More fun than you’ve had in a while, actually.

“Okay, fine. Maybe it wasn’t that bad,” you admit, brushing some snow off your gloves. “But I still don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That’s the point. You don’t have to know what you’re doing. You just have to let yourself try.”

You stare at him for a second, trying to decide if he’s talking about snowboarding or —again—something else entirely. It’s funny how easily he slips back into your life like this when you’re alone and forget about the world, making you laugh, making you feel like things aren’t as complicated as they really are. It reminds you of all those little moments you had together—when you’d stay up late, talking about nothing in particular, just enjoying the sound of each other’s voice or binge-watching shows that neither of you were really that into but refused to stop watching because you both needed to see how ridiculous the plot would get. Or, even, those lazy afternoons spent cooking together, fumbling through recipes neither of you knew how to make, laughing at each other when you messed up.

Those days were safe, easy. And even though it’s over, you miss that ease sometimes—the way he’d make you laugh without trying, the way he’d look at you during the quiet moments when he didn’t think you were paying attention.

Jungkook steps back and bends down to pick up the cord again, glancing up at you with that familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. “Wanna go again?”

You sigh dramatically, though you’re already nodding. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

He laughs, and the sound of it is oh so wonderfully warm. “Nope. You’re stuck with me.”

As he starts pulling the cord again, you feel that rush of excitement building in your chest, the same way it used to whenever he’d suggest something spontaneous or ridiculously dangerous. It’s easy to forget everything else when you’re with him—how things ended, how you’re supposed to be moving on. But for now, in this exact moment, with him pulling you along like old times, you let yourself enjoy it. 

Because quite frankly, as soon as you have the talk with him, you’re sure there won’t be any of these shared moments anymore. Ignoring the ticking countdown inside your head is everything you’re willing to do for now, you’re not quite ready to let go of the ease that obviously can still exist between you, fragile as it may be. 

Some time later, after you’ve been gliding—no, really snowboarding—down the hill a few times, you’re sitting on top of it with Jungkook beside you. Both of you are clipping yourselves in, facing the lift where you’re about to head up for your first proper descent.

“People are already off to lunch, so the lift’s going to be pretty empty. Try to stop right behind me, I’ve got the ticket for you.”

“Okay.” you hesitate, but maybe it’s the perfect time to clear some of your questions. “Uh, before we start, could you tell me what you’ve all been saying about me in the group chat?”

“What?”

“Yeah, like, what you’ve been talking about me. About us.”

Jungkook looks completely confused, muttering, “We don’t talk about you there,” but he pulls his phone from his pocket regardless, unlocking it and heading straight to the group chat. “What the fuck?!”

“What is it?”

You try to peer at his phone, but the sun’s too bright for you to make anything out.

“They’ve removed me from the chat.”

Frowning at his phone, Jungkook quickly types out a flurry of messages to all his friends, each one filled with the same curse words and passive-aggressive tone. But when you see him typing to Hara, it’s just a politely phrased question, before he puts his phone away and turns to you with apologetic eyes.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s going on with—”

“Jungkook!”

You turn towards the chirpy voice calling out, spotting two snowboarders decked out in pink, gliding effortlessly towards you. Their gear isn’t baggy, snugly fitting and showing off their slender physiques.

“Who’s that?” you mutter to yourself, still transfixed by how effortlessly they come to a stop in front of you. You think you hear Jungkook mumble something like no clue.

Both girls remove their scarves and protective goggles, revealing not only perfect features but also flawless makeup—more suited for a night out than a day on the slopes.

“Hey,” Jungkook greets them, confusion evident in his tone.

“It’s so dope to see you again! Right, Minji? Best instructor in the world.”

Both giggle, and you notice Jungkook shifting uncomfortably. Did he sleep with them? They look so young, he wouldn’t have…right?

“Oh, thanks. Minji and…uh…”

“Sora!” She winks at him, still ignoring your presence. “It’s been, what? Two years? We’ve grown up now, right?”

“The Cho cousins! Of course! Wow, you really have grown up!” Jungkook smiles now, no longer bothered by the obvious flirting, though your mood sours the longer the girls stare at him.

“You remember,” Minji breathes, looking at him like a lovesick puppy.

“You want to grab lunch with us? Catch up a bit?”

“We were just about to—” you start, but Sora interrupts you with a pout.

“Pretty please?”

“Are your parents with you?” Jungkook asks.

“No, just us.”

Jungkook turns to look at you, and you school your expression into neutrality.

“We could have lunch now and then—”

“Yeah, the lesson’s over for today,” you say flatly, unclipping your feet from your board and getting up immediately. “See you later.”

You’re not proud of how you’ve handled it, but you’re done. You’ve wasted the whole morning without getting any answers, and now there’s another issue you wouldn’t have wanted.

“Wait!” Jungkook calls after you, but you’re already at the base, not looking back as you head straight to the hostel, hoping Yoongi had the sense and decency to finally grab your stuff from Hope’s.

Hearing Jungkook trying to catch up with you gives you that extra boost, despite your muscles aching, pushing you to increase your pace. It’s pretty embarrassing how you’re practically fleeing from him, but you’re pissed, and you’re petty, and he knows it too. Jungkook definitely still knows how to handle you when you’re like this, but right now, you just can’t.

Luckily, he doesn’t speed up, and you make it to the hostel first, stumbling inside. Everyone, literally everyone, is scattered around the main area as if they’re plotting something you’re not in on. They all fall silent the moment you burst through the door, with a few empty takeout boxes on the table and Jimin holding a clipboard and pen.

“Uh, hello?” you ask carefully.

That seems to break their trance as everyone starts blinking and moving again. Yoongi gets up with a takeout box in hand and walks over to you.

“Want some takeout?” He’s being too nice, and the way his eyes shift over his shoulder to Namjoon and Hope does anything but ease your nerves.

“What’s going on here?”

No one answers. Jin even starts whistling while cleaning his nails, which earns him a swift kick to the shin from Hara, who’s sitting between him and Tae.

“Just getting things ready for tonight,” Namjoon finally says, though you can see in his eyes that he’s straight-up bullshitting you.

You don’t have time to push for answers as Jungkook bursts through the door too, looking just as confused. “What’s going on?”

“Preparations,” everyone except you says in unison, making them seem even more suspicious than they already are.

“Why are you back so soon?” Hara tries to distract, smiling as she glances between you and Jungkook.

That’s your cue to leave though. You’re not dealing with this today. “Thanks for the takeout, I’m off for a shower. Bye~.”

And with that, you grab the takeout box from Yoongi, swap it with your snowboard, and stomp off in your snow-covered boots towards your suite. Locking yourself inside, you decide to spend the day on some much-needed self-care before you have to face the party tonight.

Because finally having the time to think—or rather, not to think—and just get back to your inner zen, maybe even start acting a bit more rationally, is exactly what you need. You’re just relieved that everyone, even Yoongi, has left you alone throughout the whole afternoon, only briefly interrupting you so he could get ready for the evening as well.

You’re not sure why you opted for the clothes you’re currently wearing, feeling ridiculously overdressed for this town, but at the same time underdressed for the weather. Still, you won’t let every other woman around you push you into their shadows, knowing there’s a spotlight for you too, even though you barely take it.

If Jungkook’s the visual type, which you know for a fact he is, then you’ll damn well show him what he’s missing. Not just to give him a mental middle finger, but also for you to feel at least a bit more adequate.

Maybe there’ll be someone at the party who’ll appreciate your appearance, someone who isn’t familiar with your past or your sorry attempt at being something you’re simply not. Maybe tonight’s all about getting answers and a change, closing the book written by Jungkook.

Grabbing your small purse, you stuff your phone into it, pulling on your boots, which don’t quite match your outfit, but leaving with heels would be a death sentence with the snow-covered streets. It’ll have to do, especially when you’re hoping that Jin’s place is dimly lit, so no one notices your footwear anyway.

When you enter the main area, Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jungkook are already waiting for you, the latter two stunned silent as they take you in. It makes you blush, though you hope your makeup stays true to its claims and doesn’t let the pink show through.

Jungkook’s decked out in all black again, his fitted jeans straining against those massive thighs you’ve always had a weakness for. You think you spot a silver chain peeking out from his collar—it looks familiar, but you’re not entirely sure. You reckon it might be a new one; time has definitely passed, and it would be odd if he were still wearing jewellery gifted by his petty ex who dumped him.

“Finally,” Yoongi breathes, standing up from the couch with a clap to his knees.

Jungkook throws him an evil eye, though you chalk it up to his general hostility towards him rather than any real annoyance at the semi-rude comment about how long you took to get ready.

“You look beautiful,” Namjoon smiles, that dimpled smile of his, walking beside you as you head out to the party.

“Thanks, Namjoon, I like your hair.” You compliment him back, noticing the effort he’s put in as well, his hair now gelled back, showing off his forehead.

You’re glad Jungkook doesn’t butt in again, though the silent simmering isn’t much better. It’s kind of childish how he’s acting—not that you’re any better—but still, it grates on your nerves. At this point, though, you’re not even sure talking to him would help, considering how loaded everything is between you two, you reckon there might not be a way back to normalcy. Not that you know what normal would look like with Jungkook. 

When you finally reach Jin’s, you’re pleasantly surprised by how it’s transformed—not just because the whole town’s there, but because the decorations are on point. Multiple mistletoe hang from the ceiling, with glittery ornaments reflecting the fairy lights, making the whole place feel more like a Christmas nightclub than the posh restaurant it was just yesterday.

You spot Hope, Hara, and Tae right away, deep in conversation in front of a makeshift stage, where several microphones and instruments are set up. Jungkook and Namjoon are swarmed within seconds by women swooning over them like starved cougars which annoys you just a bit more than usual. 

It’s too much for you again—you can’t stand to watch—so you grab Yoongi’s hand and drag him to the bar, needing to drown a shot glass, even if it ends up filled with your tears by the end of the night.

“Hey!” Jin greets you from behind the bar, shaking up a drink for an older lady perched on a barstool, who looks like a cross between a crazy rich Asian and a fashion icon. You’re sure to see Jimin’s hair flopping at the other end of the bar, probably helping out in serving drinks tonight. 

“Yo, Jin, what’s up?” Yoongi daps him up, and you sit down, swirling slightly while deciding what you’ll drink tonight.

“What can I get you?”

“A beer for me and…”

“A shot of vodka and a glass of wine, please.”

“Going hard tonight?” Jin laughs, but he prepares your drinks without much judgement.

“It’s a party, isn’t it?”

“Of course. Enjoy yourselves,” he winks, setting down the drinks before heading off to serve another customer.

“You planning on getting smashed?” Yoongi asks, right before taking his first sip.

“Maybe. We’ll see.”

“Just talk to him.”

You give him a silent glare, throwing your head back as the vodka disappears before you know it. When you get home, you’ll definitely need to cut back on the alcohol—it’s gotten out of hand, and you know it.

“Maybe you don’t want answers.“

„Maybe.“ 

„You coming over?” Yoongi nods towards the group of friends, Jungkook standing with them next to Hara but with his eyes locked on you, watching intensely as you turn.

You can’t look away, not when he’s hypnotising you the way only he can, making you feel exposed to the core, even from across the room.

“No, I’ll come over in a bit.”

“Suit yourself.”

And with that, Yoongi’s gone, pushing through the crowd while you turn back to the bar, watching Jin and Jimin work, taking gulps of wine one after the other, just as soon as you set the glass down.

You can’t help but take occasional peeks over your shoulder at the others, always laughing and having a good time. But every time, Jungkook’s eyes are already locked on you, refusing to look away even when you catch him staring. His confidence is bold, and he’s never been shy about it—or anything, really—which only stirs the fire inside you, the one only he could ever ignite.

After your second glass of wine, your mind wanders to fantasies that can only come true in your dreams. What if he’s not with Hara? If he’s not the baby daddy? Would there still be a chance for you? Would you be enough?

What if you are? What if everything goes back to how it once was? Would you be happy? Of course you would, how could you not. Even the toughest days spent with Jungkook aren’t as hard as being without him. You’d take fighting with him over being apart from him any day.

But the fact that you’ve been sitting here for what feels like hours, and no one has even attempted to make a move on you, destroys your pride even more. Maybe you’re just not desirable enough, and Jungkook, being the peak of human perfection, would see it that way too.

When he joins you at the bar after some time, you don’t even need to look to know it’s Jungkook standing beside you, leaning on the counter—his unique fragrance mixed with his scent gives him away instantly.

“A whiskey, please,” he calls over the music to the barman, Jimin and Jin by now replaced by two unfamiliar faces.

“Didn’t know you drink during the week.”

Jungkook’s jaw ticks ever so slightly, his head hanging low as his fringe hides his eyes.

“Can’t I enjoy myself too?”

“Go ahead, enjoy yourself as much as you like.” You can’t help the bitter tone in your voice, hoping he didn’t catch it, but Jungkook noticed.

When he’s handed his drink, he turns to you, and you can’t help but take him in. It’s instinct at this point, letting your eyes shamelessly stray over his build and features, though he’s just the same.

“You look like you’re doing just fine without me.” Ouch.

“Maybe you do too.” You try to safe face.

There’s silence now as Jungkook takes a sip of his whiskey, his darkened eyes flickering over your face as if trying to make sense of you.

But eventually, he just shakes his head. “Having to learn how to live without you is a lesson I never wanted to learn.”

He’s gone as quickly as he appeared, and you’re left alone again. You can’t spend the whole evening like a fucking loner at the bar, so you order another glass, and once it’s handed to you, you get up and head towards the others.

Just like the rest of the night, they’re loudly chatting and laughing away, now joined by Jin, who’s massaging Hara’s shoulders, and Jimin, who’s clearly annoying the hell out of Yoongi.

“___!” Tae shouts over the heads of the others, bulldozing towards you as you stand beside Jungkook, throwing himself over your shoulders.

The hug mends your broken heart just a little, and you regret not coming over sooner, realising you were once again stuck in your head, missing out on the easy fun that was waiting for you.

“Tae, hi!” You feel a bit of wetness on your back, probably from the drink Tae’s holding, but you don’t let it bother you, knowing it’ll dry in no time with the heat surrounding you.

“You left so quickly this morning,” Hara pouts, and guilt washes over you instantly.

“Yeah, sorry, I’ve got a sensitive stomach and…well, you know…”

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

“No, it’s fine! Nothing you could’ve done,” you laugh, trying to brush off the awkwardness.

The chatter picks up again, and you’re relieved no one mentions you keeping your distance until now. Everyone seems pretty laid back, happy to let people take space if they need it. Well, everyone except Jungkook, who’s stepped a little away from you and closer to Hara.

It stings a bit—well, a lot—but you try to keep the tight-lipped smile intact, tuning into the conversations around you over the music.

“You ready?” Jin grins over Hara’s head at Jungkook, who shifts uncomfortably.

“Do I have to?”

“Course you do! It’s tradition at this point,” Hope laughs, and even though you have no idea what they’re talking about, his bright laughter makes you giggle too.

Jungkook still looks unsure, but when Hara nudges him, leaning away from Jin to whisper something in his ear while squeezing his bicep, he nods and hands his drink to Jimin, prompting cheers from everyone but you and Yoongi.

“What the fuck?” Yoongi mouths at you, and you just shrug, just as clueless.

“Here goes nothing,” Jungkook mutters, and as he and Jin make their way to the stage—Tae giving them both a hard slap on the ass—your own nerves start to flare up.

Hara stands right beside you, pulling you into a side hug. “I’m so proud of him.”

You don’t bother asking why; your question will be answered any minute now.

“Hello everyone! Thanks for coming tonight! And like every year, let’s kick off the real party with our babystarcandy!” Jin shouts into the mic, tossing paper hearts into the air as Jungkook grabs a guitar from the side, slinging the strap over his shoulder and stepping up to the mic Jin just left.

The room erupts into the loudest cheers you’ve ever heard, with Hara screeching the loudest. Jungkook glances at her bashfully with a small smirk.

“Hey, everyone.”

More deafening cheers follow, and you swear you see a black bra flying through the air towards the stage, though you’re not sure—your alcohol-hazed vision could be playing tricks on you at this point. 

“What do you want to hear first?” Jungkook’s smooth voice reverberates through the room, and you realise he’s made for the stage. You’ve never seen him like this before.

The crowd shouts random song titles you’ve never heard before, but the loudest—and from Hara—is a request for a song called ‘Guillotine,’ one you’ve too never heard of. Jungkook locks eyes with her again and simply nods with cheeks dusted pink and a small smile.

“Alright, this one’s for someone special.”

As the first chords flow from his guitar, his tattooed fingers gliding effortlessly over the strings, eyes closed as if he’s pouring his soul into the song, the entire room falls silent.

“Sleep on me, feel the rhythm in my chest, just breathe.”

You gulp, not just because his voice is beautiful beyond words, but because when you glance at Hara, you see her with glassy eyes, softly mouthing the lyrics. You feel yourself starting to break. The words rain down on you, pulling you under, making it hard to breathe without gasping.

“I will stay, so the lantern in your heart won’t fade.”

This can’t be happening. It really can’t. Jungkook’s found the true love of his life, and it’s not you. You were never meant to be—just a prototype, an example for the perfect candidate, but only a candidate. 

It’s her.

Tears well up in your eyes, though for entirely different reasons than Hara, who’s now curled into Jin’s side, still singing along, cheering for Jungkook, who keeps glancing in her direction with that same soft smirk.

“I know that you love me, love me, even if I lose my head.”

And as the whole room joins in, singing, clapping, and cheering, you silently crash. Splintering into a thousand pieces, never to be put back together. Your wine glass slips from your hand and shatters on the floor, but the sound is drowned out by Jungkook’s guitar. Still, Yoongi and Namjoon notice. They see you gasping for air, breaking, spiralling, and finally turning to flee from the hell that you’re forced to see.

You push through the crowd, head down, trying to block out the sound of Jungkook’s voice, but it’s everywhere, even as you burst outside and run towards the hostel. It’s still there, screaming in your head, with no way to drown it out.

01 • masterlist • 03

a/n 3: lmk what you think in any way you like! 👀 If you liked what you read, pls consider buying me a ☕️ Ko-fi.com/runariya 💕

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[seokminfilm]

boyfriend shaped | lee seokmin

pairing: lee seokmin x reader

warnings: none, fluff, reader is implied to be female ('sweet girl', 'sweetheart'), non!idol au, mentions of dokyeom being a kindergarten teacher, dokyeom is boyfriend shaped in his newest ig post and i'm crying because of it

Dinner with your boyfriend was something you looked forward to.

Every Friday—since your boyfriend spent most of his week dealing with kindergarters who threw up on their sleeping mats and couldn't spell dog without adding an extra 'o'—promised to take you out to a nice fancy resturant and spend time with you afterwards.

The two of you were at a traditional Korean resturant this time around, and you couldn't help but stare at your attractive boyfriend from across the table, eyes runnig along his muscles and tanned skin.

After a few seconds of looking down at his menu, he catches your eyes, smiling as his sharp nose scrunches up in the cutest way.

"What?" He questions, obviously teasing. Seokmin knows better than anyone that you find yourself staring at him more often than not, and he loves teasing you for it (even if he does the same thing to you).

"You're so handsome and I love you." Sighing, you pull him by his hand, making him lean over the wooden table as you press your lemonade-tainted lips to his. He sighs under you, lips stretching into a gentle smile as he pecks your lips a few more times before pulling away.

His face is red, and his dark brown eyes are darting around the seating area as he pushes his horn rimmed glasses further upon his nose bridge.

"You're something else, you know that? I have to order for me and you in a minute, and you're over here complimenting me out of the blue and kissing me. How am I supposed to function with you kissing the thoughts out of me?" Seokmin sounds annoyed, but the smile on his face and the lovestruck look in his dark brown eyes makes you giggle.

"You don't mind it though, do you?" Sipping on your lemonade yet again, Seokmin chuckles, shaking his head as he closes the menu.

"No, I don't, but as I'd tell my kids—be patient, and good things will come to you." Seokmin's voice dropped an octave lower when he said the second half of that sentence, and you gasped, swatting his hand as he giggles cutely.

"You're absolutely diabolical, Seokmin." He chuckles at your choice of words, but doesn't deny it, smiling at you once more before the waiter appears at the side of the table.

After he finishes taking your orders, he grabs your menu for you and hands it to the waiter, thanking him for you as he directs his attention back to you.

"So, how was your day, sweet girl?" Seokmin locks his eyes on you, listening intently as you tell him all about your day.

You leave nothing out, mentioning everything from how you were about 20 minutes late to work due to a traffic jam, and the mediocre lunch you had on your break. Seokmin sits there patiently and listens, interjecting funny comments or comforting words when he can, and he encorages you as you begin to talk about the possibility of you quitting your stressful job.

"You really mean that?" You ask in disbelief, his sweet and tactful words making your eyes tear up as he nods, smiling at you as he pushes his nose to yours.

"Of course I mean it. I'll support you in whatever you want to do. Wherever you go, I follow. Whatever you do, I do." Seokmin's voice is so sweet and calming you can't argue with him any longer, and you lean in to kiss him again, smiling as he hums happily under you.

Seokmin wasn't usually this desperate for kisses, but it kept seeming as if he was making ways for you to kiss him. You thought it was cute, the way he was trying to be so nonchalant about it.

"Why are you so kissy today?" You question, and Seokmin pauses, eyes sparkling as he frowns slightly. "Why, do you not like it?" He sounds hurt, and it breaks your heart a little, seeing his dark brown widen like a kicked puppy.

"No, no, Min. I love it. I adore it, if I'm being honest," You smile, and Seokmin cheers up quickly, eyes darting down to your lips as he sighs.

"I love you, sweetheart." Seokmin said the phrase almost ever hour of every day, but times like this—where the mood was sweet and mellow—the three-word expression made you suddenly even more grateful for Seokmin's sweet heart and kind disposition.

"And I love you, Min." Grabbing his hands, you kiss each of his fingertips, smiling as Seokmin giggles, huffling cutely as you chuckle at his reaction.

[wherethefireliliesgrow]

Love You Twice

Huh Yunjin x Reader

GENRE: fluff

TYPE: One Shot

Inspired by: Love You Twice - Huh Yunjin

"Hello, is anyone here?"

A loud voice echoed from the front of the shop, accompanied by the obnoxious ringing of the bell you had left on the counter. You groaned internally, hoping for a slow day since you were still recovering from a severe cold from last week. Unfortunately, your manager refused to give you another day off, so you found yourself pathetically hiding in the storage room, seeking a few moments of respite.

"Hellooooo," the voice called out again, causing your headache to intensify. 

"Yes, I'm here," you sighed, getting up and dusting off your pants. "Please give me a second."

Stepping out of the backroom, you came face to face with a girl, likely around the same age as you. She wore black-framed glasses, a face mask, and a black fisher hat.

"What can I get for you?" you asked, mustering a smile while trying to stave off your fatigue.

"Hmm…Can I have a cinnamon churro and a cup of iced Americano?" The girl stared at you curiously, her wide brown eyes fixated on your every move. After taking her money, you began preparing her order as she settled into a corner table, taking off her hat and face mask.

You set your phone on the speaker and played the hottest Korean hits on Spotify. There was something about the mysterious girl that made you think she would enjoy some K-pop songs while she waited. And indeed, when you brought her order to the table, she was fully immersed in dancing to Fearless, which you found adorably funny.

"Quite a dancer you are," you laughed, setting her food down.

The girl blushed and quickly switched off the camera she had set up in front of her.

"Thanks for the food," she said shyly, hiding her smile behind her coffee cup.

"It's no problem! Enjoy," you replied, slowly retreating back to the kitchen. "Feel free to record or film anything you want. I'll be back here if you need me."

You could tell from her poised and polite demeanor that she might be an idol or celebrity. With her large brown eyes, luscious lips, and slender build, she stood out as someone more than just an average customer.

In the backroom, you struggled to stay awake, listening to muffled sounds of the mysterious stranger talking to her camera. 

"Hey," her sonorous voice echoed from the front of the shop again, pulling you out of your half-asleep state. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah, what can I do for you?" You quickly stood up, wiped your hands on your apron, and walked to the counter.

She gave you an awkward smile, hesitating before speaking. "Could you, you know… sit and talk with me? I'm feeling a bit bored."

You checked the clock on the wall before replying, "I don't get off until another five hours."

She pouted, "There hasn't been another customer after me, though."

You raised your eyebrows, "My boss would be offended."

"No, sorry," she panicked, "I didn't mean that no one wanted to come. I mean, the food is great. You're great, and I…"

She cut herself off, catching you laughing at her.

"Nevermind," she muttered with a huff, turning back to her table.

"Hey, I'm sorry," you called out. "I can't sit down with you because my manager checks the CCTV, but I can make it up to you with another cup of coffee. We can talk while I make it."

The brunette nodded, satisfied with your apology, and sat herself on the stool in front of the counter. There was something about you that made Yunjin want to spill her thoughts to you at the first chance; you looked like someone she could trust without hesitation. She had been stealing not-so-subtle glances at you ever since she first entered the store, though you didn't seem to notice.

"I never caught your name," you said, grabbing an empty cup.

"It's… Jen," she said hesitantly.

You sensed her reluctance, possibly due to her fame, so you respected her privacy and didn't press further.

"Nice to meet you, Jen. My name is Y/N," you said, reaching out to shake her hand. She warmly shook your hand, leaning slightly over the counter to give you her best smile with her tongue stuck slightly out between her teeth. 

"Well, Jen, how do you want your coffee? Iced or hot?" you asked, a bit starstruck by how alluring she was, shyly smiling and looking at you under her long curled lashes. 

Her confidence boosted at your reaction to her harmless flirting, and she winked, saying, "Steamy hot."

You snorted, trying to shake off the shivers she sent down your spine. "Coming right up."

The three hours spent with Jen were surprisingly effortless. Beyond her flirtatious facade, she proved to be easy to talk to and incredibly down to earth. She eventually confided in you, admitting that she was an idol of one of Hybe's biggest girl groups, but you treated her just like any other customer, and she appreciated that. During your conversation, she opened up about the challenges of being an idol and shared more personal aspects of her life. It felt like you had known each other for lifetimes and were just catching up on recent events.

Despite knowing that she shouldn't be sharing such personal thoughts with a stranger, Yunjin couldn't help but fall for you. Those short hours were enough for her to fall for you, and she desperately tried to memorize every detail about you within that limited time. The way your hair fell into your eyes, the concern you showed when she mentioned stalkers following her home, the way you laughed at her jokes, and how you blushed at her flirtations—all of it left an indelible impression on her. She knew that this encounter was a one-time thing, and she should forget about you after today, but she couldn't help longing for the possibility of your lives intertwining in the future.

The soft tinkle of the door opening snapped both of you back to reality. You had unconsciously drawn closer as you talked, your forearms almost touching across the counter. Quickly straightening up, you cleared your throat, trying to break free from the trance Jen had somehow pulled you into just by her presence alone. Jen seemed to be equally entranced, shaking her head slightly as she took a sip from her nearly empty mug.

A young girl in her teens bounced into the cafe with glee, her face lighting up with a wide smile.

"Anneyonghaseyo," she greeted you with a bow before turning to Jen. 

"Unnie! I've been looking all over for you." She launched herself at Jen, and you could see the affection between them. “Manager-nim wants us to go back.”

"Oh, okay," Jen replied, her expression slightly disappointed that her time with you was coming to an end. She wished she could spend a lifetime with you, but she knew it wasn't possible.

"Do you want something to go, Manchae?" she asked the younger girl, hoping to prolong her time in the store, even if only for a few more minutes.

"Oooh yes, can I get a chocolate muffin?" Eunchae's eyes lit up at the mention of food.

"One chocolate muffin coming right up," you grinned, heading back to prepare her order.

As you turned away, Eunchae couldn't help but tease her unnie, repeatedly turning her head to look at Jen and then at your silhouette. Yunjin blushed and playfully pushed the taller girl away, not used to this kind of attention.

"Here you go," you said, handing the bag to Eunchae.

As Yunjin reached into her bag to pay, you raised your hand to stop her. "It's on the house."

Yunjin opened her mouth to argue, but you insisted. "As you said, we don't really have that many customers here," you winked, "I'll have to throw them out anyway."

She blushed deeper at the reference of her embarrassing mistake earlier, and you quickly assured her you were joking. Your playfulness only made her blush more, and you found her intriguing—so confident and flirty one moment, and a shy mess the next.

"I'll see you around, Y/N," Yunjin said, extending her hand once again for a shake. She just wanted some kind of physical contact with you, and her hand lingered slightly longer than usual during the handshake. "Thanks for keeping me company."

"It was nice talking to you, Jen," you replied, shaking her hand warmly. You felt a pang of melancholy as this beautiful girl you had just met was leaving. "And it was nice to meet you too, Eunchae."

Eunchae was beaming, fully aware of the conversation happening in front of her. She knew Yunjin had difficulty connecting with people and had remained single for years despite having a long line of admirers. If this cute barista was the one to win over Yunjin’s heart, the maknae was determined to support your happiness. And she usually got her way.

.

.

.

.

For the past several weeks, Eunchae had been giving Yunjin a headache, constantly thinking of ways to persuade her to visit your coffee shop. The rest of the girls caught on to Eunchae's antics, and they joined in, playfully teasing the blonde and suggesting your coffee shop at every opportunity.

Whether it was rain or shine, hunger or thirst, the girls managed to steer the conversation back to you whenever they could.

"Unnie, I'm hungry. I want the muffins at Y/N's."

"Where do you want to hold your birthday party, Chae?"

"Hmm… is Y/N's open?"

"Sakura unnie, let's get drinks tonight."

"Yesss, do you think Y/N's sells soju?"

It was all in good fun, and Yunjin couldn't help but get flustered whenever your name was brought up. However, she stubbornly resisted their suggestions and ignored the members whenever they proposed visiting your shop. The girls were genuinely curious about you, so they convinced Eunchae to take them to your shop during their days off. There, they could see why Yunjin was so enamored with you. Your sweet and soft-spoken demeanor balanced the idol perfectly. 

The girls continued to come up with various schemes to turn their favorite not-couple into an actual couple, but despite their efforts, nothing seemed to work. However, as it turned out, they didn't even need to put in all that effort.  Yunjin and her clumsy self, would end up making a mess and visiting you herself to solve the problem. 

.

.

.

.

Your Monday started off badly. You had just finished a painful statistics class, and your professor grilled you for accidentally falling asleep. It wasn't entirely your fault; the professor had a monotone voice that could put anyone to sleep, talking about magic in a world filled with numbers. Nonetheless, he kept you after class for a whole hour, scolding you with his tone-deaf voice repeatedly.

This left you in a rush to get to the coffee shop without having the chance to grab lunch. You knew your manager would be furious if you were late.

Entering the shop through the back door, you hastily grabbed your apron and hair tie, rushing to the front. Your good friend and coworker, Wheein, leaned on the counter, teasing you with a playful smile as you tried to catch your breath.

"You're really unfit," she calmly remarked, her dimples showing as she teased you.

"Shut…" you panted, "...up."

Wheein laughed and poured you a cup of water.

"There are a bunch of people outside our store today," she said casually, her fingers tapping on the spotless counter.

Furrowing your brows, you looked outside the glass windows and saw groups of people peeking into the store, some even taking photos. You were puzzled as to why they were there.

"What are they doing here?" you asked.

Wheein shrugged, "No idea, I didn't ask. They've been there since I opened, but they never came in."

Just then, three girls entered the store, giggling and looking at you. They whispered among themselves before walking towards the counter.

"Annyeonghaseyo," the first girl said, and the other two burst into a fit of giggles.

"Um, annyeonghaseyo," you blinked, feeling slightly awkward. "What can I get you?"

"Three cinnamon churros and three iced Americanos, please."

You quickly rang up their order while Wheein started working on the drinks. As you prepared the churros, you could hear whispers and the sound of camera clicks from the girls.

Before you could ask what was going on, a few more people entered the store, all behaving similarly to the first group of girls—whispering and looking at you curiously before placing their orders.

"This is crazy," Wheein muttered, just as confused as you. The shop had never seen so many people at once, and they all seemed to be waiting for you before coming in. "Are you a celebrity or something?"

You shook your head, “If I was, I wouldn’t be working part-time in this shitty store with you.”

The blue haired girl chuckled and playfully nudged you, before efficiently handling the growing number of orders.

The rest of the afternoon passed by in a blur. A line formed outside the coffee shop as customers continued to flow in endlessly. You made more churros in four hours than you had in your entire two years of working part-time at the shop. The sudden rush of customers had turned your ordinary day into a surprisingly eventful one, and you couldn't help but wonder what had caused this unexpected influx of people.

It was like this for the rest of the week. Whenever you weren't working, a bunch of people would gather outside the store, and groups of fans would squeal and whisper when they saw you working. Some people even asked for selfies, which you politely declined, but that didn't stop others from sneaking photos of you as you worked. Your manager had caught on to this phenomenon and decided to schedule you to work every day that week, without any sort of raise, and extended the closing time to nine p.m. instead of the usual five p.m.

It turned out that a famous food sharing account had posted something about the coffee shop you worked at, which explained the influx of customers. But for you, it felt more like a punishment than a reward, as it brought only exhausting shifts and the constant invasion of your privacy.

Sighing, you rested your head on one of the tables you were cleaning up. It was Saturday night, and you had finally closed the store after a hectic day, serving hundreds of people all by yourself. Wheein was sick and couldn't make it to her shift, leaving you to handle everything alone.

As you closed your eyes for a moment to daydream about Jen, the alluring girl whose image had been visiting your dreams for months, the familiar sound of the door opening made you jump up. You cursed yourself internally for forgetting to lock the door after closing hours.

"Sorry, we're clo—" Your words caught in your throat as your eyes met the captivating pair of brown eyes that had haunted your thoughts ever since your last encounter.

"Jen," you said breathlessly, thinking you'd never see her again, at least not in person. After all, she was a famous idol, and her group's newest comeback had topped the charts.

"Hey, Y/N," Yunjin's eyes crinkled as she smiled at you. Her hair was now dyed a dark shade of brown, and she was dressed in a casual sweater and jeans, still as breathtakingly beautiful as ever.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, genuinely surprised to see her in your store again after months of no contact.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" Your concern for her warmed her heart, sending tingles down her spine. Seeing you in person again, after months of longing, brought all the feelings she had tried to keep at bay rushing back without control.

She stepped closer to you to grab your hands, “I’m here to apologize.” 

"For what?" you inquired, your cheeks tinged with a shade of pink from the touch of her hands.

“For the post.”

“Jen, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Yunjin took a deep breath, mustering the courage to share her most embarrassing secret.

"I have a finsta account where I rate the churros that I try," she confessed, looking a bit bashful. "And someone found out it was me running the account. My fans have been visiting all the places I posted about."

"You're the reason why I've been working my ass off this week?" you blurted out ridiculously.

"Yes," Yunjin whispered, hanging her head and still holding onto your hands. "I'm sorry."

You were silent for a few seconds, and Yunjin feared she had upset you. But then, you started shaking, and soon you were laughing uncontrollably. She was confused at first but couldn't help but smile as she joined you in a fit of giggles.

"You're so lame," you gasped out between laughs. "A churro rating account?"

"What?" Yunjin pouted, her nose scrunching. "I love churros."

You were once again captivated by this girl standing in front of you. In front of thousands of people, she was Huh Yunjin, the talented idol topping charts and taking home awards. But here, with you, she was a dorky girl with a cute smile and a loud voice.

“Do you want some?” You said, “I made a few extra today.”

Yunjin nodded enthusiastically, always ready for a few tasty treats. "I am really sorry for the trouble it has caused you," she said once you came back with a bag of churros.

"It's fine," you shrugged. After all, it wasn't really Yunjin's fault. She was just a woman who liked her churros.

"Let me make it up to you," Yunjin suggested, her eyes slightly closed in anticipation. “Let me take you out for dinner today.”

She had decided it was now or never, after months of thinking about you. She couldn't ignore her feelings any longer, especially after seeing your pictures all over social media with her fans calling you hot, bringing out her possessive side. She was lovesick, and the only cure was you. 

After what felt like hours, you finally said, "Sure. Let me finish cleaning up, and we can go."

Yunjin did her best to help with the cleaning, and within half an hour, you found yourself sitting in her car as she drove you to get, as she put it, the best pizza to ever exist in the world.  As the car moved along the city streets, you found it hard to tear your eyes away from Yunjin's side profile. The way she furrowed her brows in concentration, the slight tilt of her head as she listened to the music, it all felt incredibly endearing. You couldn't help but feel a strong attraction to her, and the desire to lean over and kiss her grew with each passing moment.

At a red light, Yunjin turned to meet your eyes with a soft smile on her lips.

"Whatcha thinking about, pretty?" she winked at you playfully.

Without thinking, you blurted out, "You." 

Both of you blushed at the sudden confession, and Yunjin cleared her throat, quickly averting her eyes. Fortunately, the light turned green, saving her from further embarrassment.

Inside, Yunjin's heart was racing with anticipation. She couldn't believe that you might feel the same way about her. Summoning her courage, she reached over and gently held your hand that was resting on your lap. The moment your fingers interlocked, it felt familiar and comfortable, as if you were meant to be together.

Yunjin's hand never left yours during the entire ride, not when she reached over to grab the box of pizza, or when you maneuvered your way to her dorm. You were worried about meeting her members, but she assured you that they were outside grabbing a late dinner. Oh, how wrong she was.

Eunchae had excitedly called her unnies when she saw Yunjin sneak out, and the group decided to wait for her in the shared living room instead of actually going out for dinner. They were so eager that they could barely contain their excitement when they heard the keys jingle to their dorm.

"I think we have some soda in the fridge. I’ll go grab them," Yunjin said as she gently pulled you inside.

"Can you grab some for us, too?" Chaewon suddenly said, scaring the wits out of both of you.

You quickly dropped Yunjin’s hand and hid yourself behind the taller girl, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sudden attention.

"What are you guys doing here?" Yunjin spluttered, slightly embarrassed at being caught.

"We wanted to meet Y/N," Sakura said slyly.

"Hi," you said shyly, feeling like a deer caught in headlights.

"Hello, Y/N. You are as beautiful as Yunjin described," Kazuha said, throwing a teasing smile at her unnie.

"So slayyy," Chaewon added, bursting into a fit of giggles.

"Guys," Yunjin groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. She should have known her members would embarrass her like this.

"Okay, you met her. We’re going to go to my room now," Yunjin announced, attempting to lead you away from her teasing members.

However, Eunchae wasn't ready to give up her time with you just yet. She quickly bounded over to you and grabbed your other hand, using her maknae charms to persuade you to stay.

"But I wanted to watch a movie with Y/N unnie," the maknae pouted and begged you with her puppy-dog eyes.

Unable to resist Eunchae's charm, you looked at Yunjin before nodding and saying, "Sure. What movie do you want to watch?"

Yunjin groaned again, this was going to be a long night. 

The group ended up watching one of the Conjuring movies. You were cuddled up in Yunjin’s arms, seeking comfort and protection from the scary parts. It was amusing how Yunjin tried to pretend not to be scared and wrapped her arms around your shoulders protectively. You could feel her whole body shaking as she tried not to scream from the jump scares.

Under the flickering lights of the TV, you looked up at the girl you had met only twice, yet it felt like you had known her for years. Deciding to let your heart take the lead, you craned your neck and placed a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth.

Yunjin’s eyes nearly bulged out at the feeling of your lips on her face, and she felt her heart pounding even faster than the jump scares had made her feel. If this was heaven, she would die happy in your arms.

Giggling at the scene in front of her, Eunchae whispered loudly, “Yunjin unnie looks like a fish.”

The rest of the members quickly turned to look at Yunjin’s expression.

“You have it bad, Jennifer,” Chaewon said in English, sounding like a sorority girl. 

“Unnie’s always had it bad,” Eunchae shrugged, “Her post was like a lovesick schoolgirl.”

“Yeah, she even wrote a song for Y/N,” Kazuha agreed.

Curious, you asked Eunchae to show you the post on her finsta (much to Yunjin’s protest). 

Churros were a bit sweet: 6/10

The cute barista was even sweeter: 100/10

Would definitely fall in love with her twice, in every lifetime. 

I hope she felt the same about me.

Maybe if I write a song for her, she would know how I feel.

Attached to the post were a few photos of the churros you made for her. And in the last photo, there was a blurry picture of you standing by the counter, focused on making coffee.

You looked up at Yunjin, who was hiding her face behind her hands, blushing furiously at being caught. After all those months of thinking about this beautiful stranger and listening to her songs, you were over the moon to discover that she had written those songs for you.

“I’d fall in love with you more than twice.” 

[sheisaquarius-blog]

Ian day prompt if you're still accepting prompts? hehe just really want an ianthony meet cute since we don't have enough of those lol maybe ian out in public? a party? cafe or somewhere and then it's a play on this canon fact of ian not really knowing someone is flirting with him. so maybe he catches anthony's attention and every time anthony locks eyes with him he looks away and then when anthony finally tries to talk and flirt with him, Ian is completely oblivious to all his advancements and anthony thinks he's just absolutely adorable (another canon fact lol)

i have had a seriously hard time writing lately, but this is my best shot! i'm hoping to get all my other prompts completed between tonight and tomorrow, but i've been struggling with writing so much. if you have a kind thought to spare today, think of me and hopefully my fingers will start typing again.

i did my best here, i doubt it's what you had in mind but i hope you still enjoy it!

Anthony is about to get the hell out of this party that he’s been over since before he even got there, but there’s a whole barricade of people before the front door and they all know him (well, they don’t know him, which is part of why he wants to get out in the first place), which means he’ll get so much shit for leaving after only an hour. He barely slips out of view as one of his “friends” scans the room—maybe not for him, but Anthony isn’t about to take that chance, so he ducks back around the corner.

God, he hates making friends in college. It feels like some high political drama where he has to make alliances instead of actually liking people. It’s always who-knows-who? Who can get me here? Who can I trust? At every turn, and Anthony finds it so exhausting. Fucking fake.

Three and a half months into college and he’s really starting to wonder whether this was the right move. He isn’t really sure what else he’d do, but this hasn’t quite felt like the right choice yet.

He’s caught up deliberating the merits of being one of those drop out tech guys in Silicon Valley, trying to find the least crowded room, when he hears a laugh he kind of recognizes. It might be the least crowded room, but Anthony’s stomach still turns over when he sees the kitchen of this college apartment complex. Some number of people too big for Anthony to figure at a glance congregates around the island, but he figures this is his best chance to meld into a group with the least number of people. Plus, not one of the guys in his hall who dragged him here is bothering with the kitchen. It seems more like cool artsy types. Anthony leans into the corner, and then he hears that laugh again. This time, his eyes fall on a guy a couple inches shorter than himself with brown fringe hanging in his eyes. Anthony recognizes him from his film class—he talked about some Korean film Anthony never heard of during the sound design unit—Ian. Ian . . . something about dicks.

He seems cool, to be honest. Unfortunate last name though. College is a little better than high school, but still. Anthony wonders if he’s had trouble making friends too.

Ian’s eyes catch his and Anthony raises his solo cup in acknowledgement, but Ian’s eyes slide away.

That’s fine, there are a lot of people, and Ian seems . . . kinda popular, actually. Maybe he isn’t having the same troubles as Anthony. It doesn’t register until the third time Ian looks away from him that, oh. Oh! Anthony is staring. Yeah, no wonder Ian’s vibe seems weird.

Okay, that makes sense. He needs to be way less intense.

Ian’s eyes are a pretty blue, and he’s funny, so being less intense proves to be a bit of a challenge, actually. Anthony isn’t sure how long he spends at that kitchen island, but it’s easily the best time he’s had at this party or any other, and he’s hardly said a word himself.

The conversation, of course, turns to film, and Anthony feels like maybe he should excuse himself before anyone notices he doesn’t fit in here, either. Everyone’s answer is something highbrow, something foreign. Anthony knew that would be the case, but as the circle goes ‘round and gets closer to him, he feigns like he needs a new drink and slips away.

The front door is still guarded like the fucking Pentagon, so Anthony heads out back to the little lawn area. There are more little groups, but at least in the fresh air, Anthony feels like he can breathe. Plus, maybe if he finishes his punch, he’ll be fucked up enough to actually try and vault over the fence to get out.

He looks down at the drink in his hands that must be pure nail polish remover and Capri sun.

Absolutely nasty. “Cheers,” he mutters to himself, holding his breath and bringing his cup to his lips.

“Hey.” Anthony could thank god from saving him from that chug, but then he turns to see Ian and now he wishes maybe he’d had a little more booze in his system. “Hey,” Anthony says, furrowing his brow. “What are you doing out here?”

Ian shrugs. “You never said your favorite movie. I was curious.”

“Uh,” Anthony stumbles, because he absolutely cannot say his answer. “Citizen Kane?”

Ian frowns, considering. “What a film studies answer. Did you want to try it again, a little stronger, and maybe I’ll believe you this time?”

Anthony is bitten by how direct that is, how absolutely called on his bullshit he is. It makes him laugh, although he’s surprised that he doesn’t feel more uncomfortable about it. “Citizen Kane,” he repeats, in his most deadly serious tone.

“Rosebud,” Ian says, and . . .

And Anthony has absolutely nothing for that. “Huh?” he asks.

Ian shakes his head and laughs—Anthony likes that sound. Even if he isn’t sure why, he’s glad to have been the cause. “Okay, dude. Sure. What’s your real answer?”

What the hell, he’s a lost cause, might as well be honest about it. “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.”

Ian’s eyebrows shoot up under his fringe and he blinks in surprise. “You could have said anything else.”

Anthony grins a little and shrugs. “You said you wanted the real answer.”

“I did say that, didn’t I?” Ian replies, a little smile creeping over his mouth. “We’re in film class together, right?”

Anthony nods. “Yeah, that’s why I tried sneaking into your table, but I can’t exactly fake it.”

“Yeah, I hear that’s harder for guys.” It’s Anthony’s turn to laugh—this guy is stupid funny. It would be annoying if it were less funny. “You, uh, you like it? Class, I mean. Or like, all of this, I guess.” He gestures vaguely around them.

Ian considers for a moment, his eyes drifting around thoughtfully. They’re nice eyes. A kind of blue Anthony’s never seen before. “It’s alright, I guess. To be honest, I think about dropping out at least once a day, but I don’t exactly have something better to do.”

“Really?” Anthony asks. Ian seems so with it in class. He always has the answers, he can discuss things like he knows what he’s talking about—he seems perfectly cut out for this.

“I probably won’t,” Ian admits. “But it’s so . . . I dunno. It’s not easy. Not the classes, that stuff’s fine. The rest of it.” He throws a skeptical glance back inside. “I can’t be pretentious for four more years just to end up never making a goddamn movie.”

Boy, does Anthony get that. “Dude, I so get that.”

Ian’s gaze turns back to him, then away once more, but Anthony can’t help but think there’s something in it this time. “What about you?” Ian asks.

“I was thinking of leaving for San Francisco, like, seconds before I walked into the kitchen,” he says with a chuckle. “How hard can it be to be the next Bill Gates? Besides, it’s not like I’m gonna get anywhere in the film department, I just like fun movies.”

“I’ve seen Home Alone, I’ve never seen the second one, but it’s a good movie. John Williams’s score? Unbelievable.”

“I know!” Anthony says, far too excited, a huge smile on his face. “The music is so good! And Joe Pesci could make me piss myself laughing.”

“Is he in the sequel?”

Anthony feels like this is perhaps a moment. A moment for him to test the waters, to see if there’s anyone out there, if there’s a reason to stay. “You wanna watch it?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Ian says casually, taking a drink from his own cup.

Anthony can’t quite tell if Ian is turning him down or completely oblivious, so he pushes harder. “Do you wanna watch it with me?”

“Yeah, that’d be cool.”

Oh.

A little smile climbs from one end of Anthony’s lips to the other. He can work with oblivious.

“I meant, like, do you want to leave this fucking party and go watch it right now,” Anthony clarifies. “I have it in my room on DVD.”

Ian blinks at him, curious.

“With me,” Anthony adds.

Anthony seems to have taken him by surprise for the second time tonight, and there’s a little bit of satisfaction in that. Maybe he’ll have to make it three times before the night is over. “Oh—oh!” Anthony can see the realization happen in his eyes in real time. “Yeah, absolutely, let’s get the hell outta here.”

Anthony smiles. “I think you’ll like it.” Ian chuckles and jerks his head towards the complex, and Anthony doesn’t dread heading back in too much, and only a little bit of that has to do with the fact that he’ll be leaving right away. “Unless you wanna go over the fence,” Ian offers.

Anthony shakes his head. “Next time,” he says as they head in together.

[peachjagiya]

https://x.com/Chivie__/status/1816094803953606869

This person spoke so well of the issue. I really wonder why a lot of US army's have problem with Taehyung. I don't think it is the issue of promotion. Their hatred has been reflected in their jokes about him, forgetting him in playlist etc. from quite some time. Earlier I wondered maybe it's because they don't understand the nuances of Korean culture and take skinship as something real. But so does other cultures which varies from Korean. Though every country has antis, but not at the scale of US.

I also thought maybe hybe focus is always on US maybe that's why they entitled to do hybe's bidding but that can only happen if company indirectly asks fans to do their bidding. Do you have any thoughts about it?

This person makes very sound points.

Here is Unicef's page on Sudan.

Here is Unicef's page on Democratic Republic of Congo.

And here is Unicef's page on Gaza.

Anyway onto Tae, it's funny I answered an ask about who I biased earlier because it took me two months to get my first idea that Tae was awesome.

I was a Jimin girly at first. I also very very temporarily thought Jikook were a couple. I also didn't like Yoongi because he was grouchy, thought Jungkook was a himbo, thought Joonie was too serious to be enjoyable... And yeah, I thought Tae was aloof. You see where I'm going with this?

Guess what content I was mainly devouring? The western mainstream content that was easily accessible. I wasn't diving hard for content, I was just bobbing on the surface forming these opinions. And that's where the negative opinion of Tae lies, I think.

Thankfully I've always been open to new ideas. When I saw Le Jazz De V in the June and I was like wait hang on wait and absolutely imprinted on this smart, funny, kind, soft and sweet, irreverent, creative and interesting brain with influences and tastes almost identical to my own.

It got me thinking "well why did I think he was anything else then?" and started viewing things through the lens of being a Tae enjoyer. It is kind of frustrating to see what feels like a smear campaign sometimes.

Theoretically everyone could change their minds and look beyond the smokescreen, right? Not so much though. A lot of people are just content in the first opinions they form. Then they build up community around that opinion. And it gets harder and harder to accept you maybe got played. So you double down and just go in harder on the negative opinion until you're a fully fledged hater.

And unfortunately I think the international mainstream easily accessed content is so skewed against Tae that a lot of people's first opinions stick.

That's all just my opinion. There might be others whose thoughts vary!

Thanks anon 💜

[randybutternubber]

Heyyyyyyy do you have any funny head canons on the children :-9 if they squabble and stuff in your opinion. Give me the sillies !!!!! (I do too but I wanna hear urs)

YOU HAVE OPENED THE GATES OF HELL PREPARE FOR MY BORDERLINE SEVEN PAGE ESSAY ON THESE RANDOM FUCKING CHILDREN

I decided to do the ones that get less attention in general, especially since I have the most thoughts on them

HCs under cut because I may have gone overboard with the length

Ghost kid

Best friends with a batmin ball that had a very poorly drawn face on it from the age of six to eight.

Sebbo (spoon girl) buried the batmin ball using a spoon as a shovel after it got neutered by the barber (he thought it was a bug and shat his pants)

Not a native of the nowhere and was taken to the nowhere on Halloween, hence the ghost costume

Lost their arm pretty quickly after being taken to the Nowhere. he’s quite a friendly child and is very compassionate towards animals, but unfortunately, this has its downsides as not all animals in the Nowhere want help.

Friends with Sebbo

Has been squatting in houses since day 1 of living in the Nowhere and has no plans to stop

Would go CRAZY for squishmallows

Doesn’t have well formed empathy/sympathy for humans but is super compassionate towards animals

Zero concept of gender and doesn’t care what you call them, he just want to pet your dog

Nonverbal but has very expressive body language

Spoon girl

Her name is sebbo (based off of game files)

She sneezes like a middle aged divorced golf dad and due to her nose bleed these sneezes are NOT victimless

LEGENDARY rage tantrums

Literally only wants to watch gen 1 my little pony, Formula One, or a very specific documentary about some random Swedish sheep wool factory

Swedish

If you compare her to pippy longstockings you will end up needing to go to urgent care for a rabies shot

Calls ghost kid Ande (sounds like Andeh) which means spirit in Swedish. (His file name is actually spöke for anyone wondering, which also means ghost/spirit in Swedish. The only reason I’m not giving him the Sebbo naming treatment is that spöke absolutely does not sound like it’s spelled (sounds like Spurkeh) and Ande actually sounds like a name. I’m a quarter swedish and have a very Swedish family on my white side so I got the most incomprehensible Swedish lessons in the car ever, so please don’t roast me in the reblogs if I got this wrong, I remember like five words and this is one of them, same thing with Korean😭

Living embodiment of “ANDE WE’RE 10 NOW, WE SAY CRAP, NOT POOP”

Broke one of her legs at some point in the Nowhere and ended up in the hospital (HC based off of concept art where she was in a wheelchair and using crutches)

Has severe trauma revolving around doctors and medical stuff

Has never seen another ginger in her entire life but will fight to be the alpha

Warrior cats kid

Expert at digging and climbing out of holes, THE CHILDREN YEARN FOR THE MINES!!!

Rusty

Has a cleft lip

This isn’t a HC but something that not a lot of people realize; he has a lisp

Only reason I’m not drawing him as ginger because of his name is because I also designed Noone as ginger and he lost in a 1v1 to a rabid cabbage patch kid. He’s been through enough

He’s around 14

Very lithe

Despite being a trapeze and tightrope performer, he is TERRIFIED of heights, making his experience at the circus even worse

The dummy has been malding over Rusty for a ridiculously long period of timeand bro had no fucking idea and nobody even knows the reason why 💀

Also a warrior cats kid but kept in on the downlow. Yes he did name himself Rusty after firestar but if you tell anyone he will cry

Noone

A nice kid but will deadass ask some of the most insensitive questions and has NO idea. Also verbally cooked a middle aged man and spent like a whole episode sassing him so she can definitely be mean if she wants to

Also has really severe medical trauma along with trauma from being paraded around on TV because she was the first person to be cured of whatever the shit water sickness is

Her real name was Ruth, but once she started forgetting her parents (they basically ditched her anyways 😭) she started just using Noone as her real name

Master of inappropriately prolonged periods of intense eye contact

Really dislikes/is afraid of dolls/dummies because of what happened to Rusty/in JuJubee’s toyshop

Very untrusting of people post Nowhere abduction because of how Otto treated her and because of the ferryman. Plus basically every kid she met in TSON was met with a terrible fate (Goo kid is probably alive but she doesn’t know that)

Autism (all these children got some sort of neurodivergence though, I mean just look at them)

WORST BACKSEAT DRIVER EVER (ASKED TO LEAVE THE ROWBOAT)

Has a few scars on her face from her right before she had a seizure when getting clockwork oranged. She tried to take the mri suction thingies off her head but she ended up scratching up her face in her panic

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 10/04/2024

The World Ends With PSY

Season 1 Featured on: GilvaSunner's Highest Quality Video Game Rips: Volume 7: Part mm2wood

Ripped by Metalik

Hey, it's the 10th of April - 10/4, like the 104 building! I couldn't resist!

Here's a fun fact for you: Long before I was running this blog, I was making a certain other SiIvaGunner project, and through working on it decided to reach out to the SiIvaGunner channel head, MtH of Bigger at Night (Chung Yard) fame, for the first time ever. So what was one of the first-ever things I directly told someone from the SiIvaGunner team? "Make more The World Ends With You rips". Yes, I was young(er) and stupid(er), awkward and strange, and I of course now know that good rips come to those who make them, but the sentiment holds true even today. The World Ends With You's soundtrack still means EVERYTHING to me. And, well, though we don't have many rips to go around for the game, I will continue to cherish the ones we do have: because as far back as Season 1, there have been absolute bangers within out small selection.

Now, if you've followed SiIvaGunner for any amount of time, you know about the joke of The World Ends With PSY already. It's PSY, the K-Pop legend, the man behind Gangnam Style, Gentleman and so many more hits, and perhaps more importantly, a YTPMV celebrity. He's had annual days of celebration on SiIvaGunner, one of which I covered back with One Winged PSYcho - V​.​S. Sepsyrop, and rippers have continued to find all kinds of creative ways to utilize the man's distinct sound, including the sentence-mixing marvel of Korean Idiot. Those two rips are still the only PSY-specific I've covered on here, but they lay a pretty concise groundwork, particularly the former: Most PSY rips made for SiIva utilize PSY's "eyys" and "ops" for truly next-level YTPMV-tier postings, the kind that you'll also hear in big meme medley rips like ULTRA S+G. Yet, that kind of makes The World Ends With PSY a neat novelty, in a way: in the days of Season 1 before PSY's presence on the channel was so clearly decided, one Metalik made a PSY rip that goes against the pattern all three prior mentioned rips follow.

Rather than usurping Calling's instrumentation with leads made up purely of PSY's immaculate soundscape, The World Ends With PSY is a no-nonsense mashup, between PSY's Daddy and the aforementioned game track. Calling as a song is defined by the contrast between its noisy electronic backing and its beautiful vocals, like a light trying to shine through the darkness - The World Ends With PSY, then, is as if more noise is added to that blend, with pieces of Daddy's instrumental persisting throughout the track as PSY's own vocals alternate in and out with the original vocalist. It's a really interesting mashup - PSY's always prominent within it, yet the original beauty of Calling's vocals never feel as if they're drowned out, just framed within such a different kind of noisiness. To cut a long yap short - it bangs!! It isn't the kind of vocal/instrumental mashup that wholly changes the track's tone a la My Dr. Eggman Can't Be This Evil!, but it undoubtedly IS different, yet different in a way that highlights the strengths of both tracks used.

And yes, this is a Season 1 rip nonetheless, I can certainly hear some slight cracks in the facade at points - but The World Ends With PSY remains my favorite rip the game has gotten in all of these years. Compared to some other efforts made earlier in the season, such as Three Minutes Clapping literally just being what the track name says, or Deja Vu just switching to the titular Eurobeat song at the chorus' end - funny gags for sure, but none quite feeling like a loveletter to The World Ends With You in the way I've long wanted. We've gotten a sprinkling of rips of the game since, but it was The World Ends With PSY that I first connected with all those years ago - the rip that reassured me that the game's soundtrack is still remembered and cherished by others aboard the team.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - June

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 30.06.2023

Here you can find my weekly roundup that goes into a bit more detail about each episode.

And a little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. Alice in Borderland Season 1 (1/8 on Netflix, no bl)

One day I was in the mood for some dystopian and uncomfortable watch and here we are. After that day I needed something cuddly and colorful, so I guess it will take me a while to finish it. But the first episode was really good.

2. Be My Favorite (6/12 on Youtube)

At first glance, Kawi is a loser. At second glance, a crazy loser. When he tries to travel back in time to change his life, it doesn't necessarily go in the direction he had in mind or Pisaeng, the later husband of Kawi's crush. But this series is so much more. Kawi is like our inner voice of insecurities and inadequacies. And it is like healing a little bit watching him gaining a little bit more self confidence and self love.

3. Dinosaur Love (1/10 on iQiyi)

This is a hellfire of a show. It is bad. But I had a blast. I can't tell you what it is about, because I have no clue! All I know is I love it. It is so bad, that it is good!

4. His Man Season 2 (5/14 on Gaga)

The korean dating show is back! I loved the first season and the second just started really good. I guess there will be some drama in those 14 episodes, but the first dates were so cute! I am looking forward to next week!

5. King the Land (3/16 on Netflix, no bl)

You know the feeling, you wake up in the morning and you're craving some good korean romance drama? That happend t me today and so I just thought give this a shot and it is good. Cheon Sa Rang works as a concierge at the King Of The Land Hotel and there she always has to wear a smile, fake or real doesn't matter. She meets the new boss in town Gu Won, who just can't stand fake smiles, but I guess her beautiful and real smile will make him fall head over heals.

6. La Pluie (9/12 on iQiyi)

Saengtai goes deaf whenever it rains. The only voice he can hear in his head is his soulmate's one. But he refuses to answer it, because Tai doesn't believe in things like love or soulmates. That is until he meets his soulmate for the first time and his soulmate is a such a cutie, that Saengtai cannot longer fight against his destiny. It is surprisingly good and funny and charming.

7. See you in my 19th life (3/12 on Netflix, no bl)

It was a suggestion, sounded interesting, so I watched it and I really enjoyed the first episode. Ban Ji Eum is able to remember her past lifes. Her 18th one ended way too soon and in her now 19th life she wants to meet the one person again, who brought her joy again after 100 years of being tired of reincarnating and remembering all the pasts lifes. A very interesting concept and I like how bold and confident Ban Ji Eum is.

8. Shigatsu no Tokyo wa... (3/8 on Gaga or Viki)

Kazuma and Ren were close friends during middle school and now meet again years later after their ways parted. We get some cute flashbacks and much cuter interactions in the here and now. I really enjoyed this first episode. It has potential, I like the hair tousle.

9. Sparks Camp (5/8 on Youtube)

Philippines's first gay dating reality show! And it's giving you everything you're looking for! Well at least a bunch of cute and cringy moments! And I am sold!

10. Step by Step (10/12 on Gaga)

Employee meets boss without knowing who he has met and crushes hard on him, just tells him what everyone thinks about the new boss and is just adorably clumsy infront of him. I adore the friend group! I hope we get to see them support Pat a lot. But there is more...An ex who is not quite out of the window yet, a toxic work enviorment, with some really sweet rays of hope in between, a second couple I lost my heart for (again the side dish...), which might be a little bit problematic, but who cares? Well, at least not me.

11. The Luminous Solution (5/6 on Gaga)

Every wish comes with a price...We meet Thana and Patis, a couple of over a decade. While Thana tries to holds closeness to his partner, Patis is working non stop at the hospital and doesn't see that his partner is suffering. And now Thana lost his job and his mother is in depth. One evening he enters a very special café, which only shows itsself to people who are in deep need for a wish. But can you pay the price? As a second couple we meet Mai and Ryou, who become enemies on the first day of school and who will have some obstacles to overcome to be together. And there is Ryous best friend, I guess he has a huge crush on Ryou. How they will end up in the café? I don't know, but I am intrigued.

12. Tie The Not (2/8 on Youtube)

And another Pinoy BL from Onix Films. It is a miniseries and it shows. The plot is a little bit rushed and not really round.

Finished in June

Series

Our Skyy 2 (16/16 on Youtube)

This one is telling what happens after the happily ever after of our favorites of the last two years. We have some supernatural stuff, some boring stuff, some cringe stuff and some fluff stuff. Over all I wasn't that excited. I really liked My School President and the last part of A Tale of thousand stars. Besindes that it was not that special to me. I give it a 6 out of 10 (mostly because all the PhuTian fluffiness we've got)

2. Bokura no Shokutaku (9/10 on Gaga)

This is a comfort watch. Hozumi Yutaka likes to cook and is good at it, but he can't eat infront of other people. Meeting Tane and his older brother Ueda Minoru his life seems to change and he may finally have found what his body and soul were longing for. It had some tense moments, but in the end it felt really comforting and calming. It wasn't that hectic or full of drama. It is a very good adaptation and I liked it very much. A good 9 out of 10 for me.

3. A Business Proposal (10/10 on Netflix - no bl)

Can a fake relationship with a lots of lies from all sides end up being true love? Yes it can I and I loved their journey. I loved to see how Kang Tae slowly fell for Shin Ha Ri and how he tried to get her to date him for real. This was just a cute watch and it made my sunday just very comfy and I had a lot of fun. Totally binge watch material. For me a 8,5 out of 10.

4. My Story (9/10 on Youtube)

Now I have a problem. I really liked the side dish couple, Zeke and Fifth, but the main story around Sky and Win was just a little bit boring, especially at the beginning. And I didn't like the whole drunk kissing and just forgetting everything the next morning. With only Zeke and Fifth this would be a better rating, but with everything else around I have to remove some points... I give it a 6,5 out of 10. Now I have a problem. I really liked the side dish couple, Zeke and Fifth, but the main story around Sky and Win was just a little bit boring, especially at the beginning. And I didn't like the whole drunk kissing and just forgetting everything the next morning. With only Zeke and Fifth this would be a better rating, but with everything else around I have to remove some points... I give it a 6,5 out of 10.

5. Hometown Cha Cha Cha (16/16 on Netflix)

This is such a wholesome and feel-good series. Even though it dealt with some really tough trauma and I was bawling my eyes out, I loved it and it felt overall good. Sometimes it was a little bit too sweet and especially the later episodes just didn't fit with the beginning of the series. I am very happy, I gave this one a try! Overall 8,5 out of 10 for me.

6. Love Tractor (6/8 on iQiyi)

City boy meets Farm boy who is a little innocent puppy and city boy can't stop falling in love with this pure soul. I read the manhwa and I loved it and this adaptation cut a LOT out, but it was so cute and good and lovable! The characters really fit the original source. Almost perfect. And we get a really good kiss! So extra points here. For me a 9,5 out of 10.

7. Zenra Meshi aka Naked Dining (12/12 on Gaga)

Not gonna lie, this one was exhausting for big parts. I guess it is about fate and two people meant to be together, and that would have been really nce and sweet, but there was so much bad drama. In my opinion the girl new that Souta had a Crush on Mahiro. Her trying to date him anyways and getting annoyed that he spends so much time with the other person was just...annyoing. And the communication and misunderstandings...It could have been something better in my opinion. And there was definitely too little naked dining. It is a 6,5 out of 10 for me.

Short Film

Movie

1. Restart After Come Back Home (on Gaga)

This one is about finding your place in life, accepting others and yourself for the way they are and about hope and forgiveness, family and love. It is a wholesome and beautiful movie. I must admit, first I didn't like both of our mains, but I guess that is part of the plan, because as they grow during the movie I became more and more fond of them. I give it a 9 out of 10.

Rewatched in June

1. History 2: Crossing The Line

It is always good to come back here. I like how both of the leads fall for eah other. To see the struggle Qiu Zi Xuan has with allowing himself to have feelings for Xia Yu Hao. And how sure Xia Yu Hao is about his own feelings. And it has volleyball. Not that I am a big fan, but I like sport bls.

2. Sweet Curse

A korean short film about a friend who is jealouse of the popular guy and summons a ghost to hunt said friend. But the friend falls in love with the ghost and the ghost with him and we get a weird and unconventional, but cute and steamy lovestory. Well, in Strongberry we trust.

Dropped/On-Hold in June

Looking forward to in June

Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai aka Let's Eat Together (In Japanese Cinema on June 2)

Ever After (Youtube on June 3)

Tin Tem Jai Special (Youtube on June 3)

Love Tractor (iQiyi on June 7)

Shigatsu no Tokyo wa... aka Tokyo in April (Viki and Gaga on June 16)

Tie The Not (Youtube June 24)

Dinosaur Love (iQiyi on June 25)

His Man Season 2 (Gaga on 23rd)

The Internship

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

I can't be the only one (as an English-speaking non-Korean) who imagines sex with Namjoon to be especially good because we'd be able to communicate easily and he'd sound hot af talking dirty in English. Hearing him say "I'm gonna cum" in his deep voice would probably send me over the edge.

Personally, I don't care for dirty talk. I feel it is usually forced and unnatural. I know all the lines in porn (probably means I have seen too much, welp); I can always immediately tell when someone is repeating something they heard. I prefer people to say whatever is on their mind, whether or not I perfectly understand. Even if it's funny (keke I've heard some crazy shit), I enjoy laughter so why not? Sometimes I have to keep my composure until the right moment, tho. XD

I think Namjoon has a very sexy voice. I would be fine with him speaking his natural tone in his native Korean. I don't understand a single word and I'd still enjoy it. (I don't understand but I luv u, iykyk!) While language barrier is definitely a hurdle, I think nonverbal communication speaks volumes more.

Side note, I see "I'm gonna cum" not really dirty talk, but maybe a courtesy to announce before you bust a nut into / all over me. But, also, it has happened to me plenty of times were the other party has said nothing and I already know what's about to happen thanks to the wonderful off-key opera of noises. :D So I appreciate it, but it's not totally necessary.

If we're only talking from a sexual perspective, the progression feels obvious. Well, I am usually leading, so take that into account too. I would definitely be more careful if I knew there was a language barrier. Use obvious hand gestures, pay extra attention to sounds / body tension / etc (I can't talk with Namjoon's big dick in my mouth anyway), be more inclined to pause if I feel unsure. Someone can say sweet words that on paper sound good, but it's usually the delivery of those words that ignites the emotion. Someone can fumble though their words and make no sense, but you know exactly what they mean when you have context.

From a relationship perspective, of course, this can be a little tough. But many times it has happened when two people that are committed to each other learn each other's languages. I think that's very cool. Also, knowing the words in a language is different from knowing the nuances of a language. Language is a cultural phenomenon. How many times have we discovered that Namjoon's lyrics are actually quite intricate use of the Korean language? There's probably a lot we could never fully comprehend because we don't have the context of being Korean. Being open to these experiences broadens our views of the world and helps us better appreciate our differences. I don't believe we need to assimilate. There is something beautiful about the individual. Well, I would like us to be agreeable to a degree and give up on malicious intent for self-gain, but I'm no Anubis so I won't get into that.

Anyway, in some cases, maybe your partner not knowing perfect English is a plus. Then they can't understand your blog and be traumatized! :D

I will agree with those that say English has a lot of ways to express sex talk more effectively than other languages. For example, I've heard that people who know multiple languages prefer to read fanfics in English because reading in their native language feels awkward. But even native English speakers have a lot of trouble saying what they mean and meaning what they say. In writing and in person. You know what I mean...

Honestly, I think sex with Namjoon would be especially good because he sees sex as a form of unique communication of two bodies that simply cannot be explained in any other way (I am just guessing, I haven't asked him personally lol). Sex is taboo in many cultures because people who don't understand it are afraid of it. People have used sex to manipulate as well as to express their connection to another in profound ways. Keeping sex taboo is also a form of control, as shame and humiliation are tactics of control. That's not what this is about XD but I just wager Namjoon has some personal opinions about that.

I don't think you always need the perfect words to express how you feel. That puts a lot of pressure and stress on yourself. Of course, don't be belligerent! In addition, putting that expectation on someone else is hoping they can read your mind, which no one can. But if someone loves you, they will show you. They will learn about you, study you, do their homework about you. They will take the time to crave out a space in their heart for you. Communication is not only about words - that is only one of the love languages, after all.

[driverlando]

Heyy, is like to request a 💍 please! Also, CONGRATS ON 2K SO DESERVED BABES 💕

This is low-key hard but I'll try my best.

I'm a pretty outgoing person, really talkative and one of the biggest compliments I've ever gotten is that when talking to someone I make them feel really comfortable and help pull even shy people out of their shell. I've been called pretty charming and overall just sympathetic and a decent human. I like to think I'm pretty smart but I'm also extroverted (bad combo) so when I think I'm just trying to tell people interesting stuff, I tend to come off a bit cocky and arrogant. I will admit, I'm a tad bit narsicistic (is that how you spell it??) but I'm working on it, I swear! I'm from the U.S. south, so charm comes with the accent and the trucks. I enjoy listening to music and I like a bit of everything. I love Billy Joel, Zach Bryan, Jack Harlow, and Rihanna. I love travelling and meeting people from different places and one of my greatest skills is probably my lingustics. I pick up languages really easily and am proud to say that I know decent pieces of almost a dozen languages, varying levels of course. I'm pretty much fluent in Spanish, Italian, and Croatian, with a close skill in Dutch and Korean. I've been trying to learn some more Portugese but I'm really busy so it's hard to work as much as I want. However, I have a heavy southern drawl so that makes every language sound a bit weird. I love cooking and have been told I'm pretty good at drawing. I'm quite athletic and enjoy playing sports or even just backyard games with friends and family even though I tend to get a bit too competitive. I am very family oriented and have lots of pets, including a couple farm animals. I've been into F1 since I was a kid, along with basketball, baseball and American football.

Hope this wasn't as much of a mess as it seems to me, congrats again!!

THANK YOU LOVEEE!! I appreciate it sm 💘💘

I feel like Danny Ric would be your perfect match. you both have outgoing and charismatic personalities and enjoy making people feel comfortable (the best type of people honestly). and I can just imagine the jokes you two would share, you’d both be making eachother laugh practically all day long lmao. like your banter would be top tier for sure. I feel like he could be competitive too and that’d definitely make game nights at your house super interesting, it’d be so funny and entertaining fighting over a game. he’d also be in awe of you, and your language skills, I feel like he’d ask you to teach him and it’d just be super sweet. and you’d both visit all those sports games together and you could be his plus one to the met gala 😌

[mightbeanai]

I love voice actors a lot more than regular actors. Both are good, but voice acting lets you be literally anything and anyone which means it can lead to some really fun moments like:

These two share the same voice actor (albeit in Korean ^^’)

And these two ALSO share the same voice actor. It’s just really funny to me. Even the most serious sounding voice actors can pop up in something My Little Pony and absolutely kill their performance whereas live action actors can be denied a part because their nose isn’t quite right.

[chemicalpink]

My biggest question is why are we separating bts privacy from typical celebrities? Like celebrities ARE BEING FOLLOWED EVERYWHERE THEY GO . Yes they are humans but that's their price to pay no?. I didn't see people having problem when justin was being followed left and right or when his info would leak same goes for beyonce or Rihanna.

I think this train of thought might need a bit more of contextual conversation than what I might be able to deliver right now but allow me to try and perhaps expand on it afterwards.

Disclaimer: this is a personal academic take. Please don’t take it to heart. It is meant to be objective and unbiased, I might sound harsh around some topics, it’s all merely academic. I will try to deliver some references on the matter however, the arguments that this piece contains are derived from my experience as a sociologist and a lawyer, someone who has focused on neuroprogramming anthropology for the entertainment industry, especially focused on the building of bridges between the west and east music industries. And yes, I’ve worked as such for a Korean entertainment company. Listen if by now you know you’re gonna get angry, do you and don’t force yourself to read on something you’re not ready to read on yet. Enjoy your day, don’t get angry over some words online.

I see you, 100%, celebrities Can and should be studied as a group. All public figures are subjected to similar experiences when it comes to invasion of privacy. And also all celebrities are human. I think the first point of order should be exactly that: how is it that through the capitalisation of a person’s talents (not even talking about performing in any of its forms but even in their ability to form and maintain a platform) has somehow equaled along the line to stripping them of their privacy? How is them making a living any different from any of us making a living and laying themselves out bare a part of the job description?

Now, I don’t think it’s quite fair to settle for it being “a price to be paid” for being a celebrity. Privacy is not a luxury that people get to be disposed of, privacy is lawfully regarded as a human component that allows us vulnerability and the development of our very own individuality, need for our human right of being a person. The fact that violation of privacy happens, doesn’t mean that it should happen. The absolute fallacy of repetitiveness has made people believe that well- it’s just the status quo for being a public figure but we must remember that just because it keeps on happening doesn’t make it the rule of existence.

I’m going back to the separating BTS from other celebrities, as you point out western celebrities, and specifically Just*n B. I would gladly say as anything to be sociologically researched, we need to be contextual, transversal and intersectional.

BTS are 100% Korean men that have inserted themselves into a western driven industry. This is nothing new but rather more so explanatory to how exactly we must begin to approach the take (given, it is much more complex than any Tumblr post can even begin to be) since invasion of privacy is a dehumanising concept in and out of itself, we can only begin to understand just how much more prejudicial it is when said invasion of privacy is targeted towards people of color, a group that is historically dehumanised in itself, even more so in entertainment based in the west. When it comes to racial prejudice, it’s so so easy to get the lines blurred in between “oh it’s just that they aren’t based in the US so we are SO CURIOUS about what they’re up to” “We just NEVER get a chance to see them the way they’re seen out and about in Korea” “It’s just that OUR CHANCE TO MEET THEM is nearly zero since they just stay a few days where WE GET TO SEE THEM” “ITS SO FUNNY TO SEE THAT THE NORM HERE IS SO DIFFERENT TO KOREA”. Just about how much of the potential information to be taken from those questioning or scenarios is relevant to their quality as artists? None of it.

It’s a whole other complex conversation to be had when looking at it from the way the entertainment industry works in the East, with the way that fan culture interacts and presents itself along with the neuro marketing over there that certainly enables more dangerous practices and entitlement from certain groups or people.

Now of western celebrities, like Just*n B. Bey*nice or Rih*anna. And I believe two of those face a rather similar approach if only ever worse for them also being women.

Sociologically we must also see it under the time context, and certainly avoid any revisionist takes on the matter. I don’t think there was a time where everyone was under the consensus of leaking private information or following them being right or absolutely thrilled about it. Less spoken about, sure. But shifts happen and voices are being raised. As I’ve pointed out before, it is NEVER okay, and every case is intersectional. Just*n is an artist that got started way too young in the industry and his invasion of privacy should be studied as such, a teenager whose company’s strategy was to sell the “boyfriend image” in a fandom context of NEEDING to be the YN of a person that never got to settle a true boundary between his public self and his true human side, in between a lot of dehumanisation and abuse of power since he was always the youngest in the room, a general public that fed off of hating him for being “feminine” (which also need a longer and more vast talk on misogyny and homophobia)

All in all, every artist is a human being, simply because they exist as such. They are human before they are artists and certainly before they are public figures. And that, is the conversation to be had.

[imfearlessfics]

Chapter 5: The Antagonist

Song: Into the I-LAND by I-LAND, A Song Written Easily by ONEUS, Blueprint by Stray Kids

Pairing: Yunjin x female reader

Genre: Romance, forbidden love

Warnings: mild language

Word count: 2.5k

It’s been a few weeks, and I’m really starting to feel like I’ve settled in. There’re still some boxes strewn about my room, and I haven’t quite gotten the subway system down, but I have a routine. I wake up around 5AM, get ready, and head to the subway where I proceed to look hopelessly at the train schedule until I find my stop, then arrive at work almost two hours early. (I refuse to arrive late and risk the wrath of President Hwang. As kind as she is, she didn’t make it to where she is without cracking the whip here and there, so sitting in the cafe while I practice my Korean and look over my schedule for the day makes the early ass mornings worth it.) Then after my morning status meeting, I shadow other employees. All. Freaking. Day. Long. 

I get that I’m new here, and I totally understand wanting to ensure I comprehend the processes and inner workings of one of the biggest companies in the world, but for the love of GOODNESS I want to get some actual work done! What is the point of a status meeting when my status is always “still learning the ropes and prohibited from creating content on my own”?! I shouldn’t complain too much, though. It is a huge company, literally and figuratively, so having this much time to learn the ins and outs has been helpful. I shadow someone new everyday - that’s how many employees work here! Sometimes it’s the studio engineers and sometimes it’s the baristas at the cafe. I never have a predictable day, that’s for sure. 

Last week, however, I finally started shadowing the actual department I was hired for: the marketing team. I can tell you this for free; They don’t mess around. The way that they approach styling to comebacks to tours is meticulous. Every little thing down to the polish on the idols’ nails has a reason and a story, and I’m slowly realizing just how huge my role is in all of this. The TikToks that I’ll be making in the coming weeks will be the first glimpse into their new comeback, and we’re hoping to keep elevating LE SSERAFIM on a global scale. It’s been extremely hush hush, but today, the comeback content meetings begin, and free time will cease to exist. I’m booked from morning til night every day for weeks, and that’s just getting all the ducks in a row. The teasers won’t drop for another couple of months, I’m told. 

I haven’t been able to see the girls too much since my schedule is mostly just getting to know the company, but I pass them every once in a while when I’m shadowing. They always greet me happily, like we’ve already become the best of friends, and it makes each day a little brighter. And while I love seeing all of them, there’s one in particular that makes my workday exponentially better. 

Ever since that day in the practice room, there is a tiny flutter in my heart that beats to the sound of her laughter. My cheeks flush at the sight of her smile, and my hands tremble whenever she waves at me, and I … I can’t believe how sappy I sound right now! 

Y/n, get it together! Some crush on an idol you literally work for is only gonna distract you!

But in between the meetings and the shadowing and the constant hustle and bustle, I can feel myself cringing at the word “crush”. Just a couple of hours around her and there’s now a constant pull to want to be near her. The desire to feel just as carefree and happy and fearless as I did in that room. Because for the rest of the day, I couldn’t stop stealing glances at her and wanting my jokes to be funny just to see her chuckle, but feeling acutely aware of a pair of eyes tracking my every move. I would’ve been paranoid about it, but I was having too much fun with them, so I wrote it off as me just imagining things. 

I have the marketing meeting in a few minutes, so I pack up my breakfast and head to the conference room. As I’m settling in, one of my coworkers, Lee Ha-Rin, enters the room. And how do I know that she entered the room? Because she made a spectacle about it - loudly talking about her absolutely wild weekend, laughing at a joke that from what I could understand was not even that funny, and making sure to bat her eyes at just about every male employee in the room. 

I am a woman that supports women, and I never want to speak poorly about another woman for being unapologetically herself, but from the moment I met Ha-Rin, she’s made it abundantly clear that she looks down on me for being a foreigner with such little experience. 

“Oh my goodness hi! You must be the new girl - y/n, was it? I’m Ha-Rin, the leader of Le Sserafim’s marketing team for this comeback. You must be so overwhelmed! I’m sure that nothing you’ve ever done until now has been quite on this scale, right? Don’t worry - I’ll help you every step of the way” I don’t think it occurred to her the entire time she spoke that I didn’t get a word in, but she just continued to speak at me rather than with me, and I have never gotten good vibes from people that do that. 

“It’s kind of crazy that you even landed this position! I wasn’t yet assigned to be the leader of this project, or I may have tried to find someone with a little more experience, but that’s what we’re here for, I guess! To walk you through the processes.” She had a smile on her face the entire time, but the tone in her voice was unmistakable, and the sting from her words has been lying just beneath the surface ever since. 

She gets to the front of the room and begins her presentation on the schedule for the next couple of weeks, and I can see on the calendar something that fills me with equal parts dread and excitement - my name! Next to the words “Content Meeting”! I get to run my very first meeting in … in four days? Hold on, how is that possible? I haven’t even officially begun working with the members yet, and I have to lead an entire meeting on potential content ideas? Contrary to some people’s beliefs, TikTok is not just some “social media app” - it’s a science. It is the number one way that artists are discovered, it has over a billion monthly users, and it’s used daily in over 150 countries across the globe. Knowing how to use this app correctly to build communities and fan bases is … well it’s a pretty valuable skill! One that took me years to hone in and develop. Just creating a posting schedule is extremely specific and time consuming, so you can imagine how tirelessly one would have to work to also create the content itself. And Ha-Rin has given me four days to do both! How can this be fair? She sees the look on my face and, to my delight, decides to comment on it in front of the entire room. 

“Y/n? Is something wrong?” She makes a fake show of looking back at the screen with concern on her face, “Oh…is this too much for you? Should I push the meeting back for you?”  

“Not at all. It’s just that I haven’t even worked with the members one-on-one yet, so I am concerned about organizing a meeting without having the proper information yet.” I don’t know how I manage to keep composure in the midst of the panic brewing inside me, but I continue with only a slight tremor in my voice, “I am happy to spearhead the meeting, but I’m afraid it will be unrealistic to expect a comprehensive schedule for 2 weeks of content without proper interaction with the members.” Damn, I sound smart. 

The slightest twitch in Ha-Rin’s eye tells me I struck a nerve by advocating for myself in front of all our coworkers, but she can’t show that she’s shaken. “Well, as luck would have it, you’re actually scheduled to shadow them for a few hours everyday starting today. Will that be enough time, y/n?” 

She and I both know that it isn’t, but unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of say. I’m the newest addition to this team, and while I don’t like how she openly condescended me for it, she’s not exactly wrong about me not having experience working with this level of stardom. At the end of the day, I’ll get this done because I have to, and that might be a good way to prove my value to the team. I’m gonna have to spend a lot of time with the members, though, and … wait. That’s actually the best possible thing I could have hoped for! Okay, pity party over. 

“Yes. That should be plenty of time. I will need to spend the next few days exclusively shadowing them, though, so I hope some adjustments can be made to my schedule to accommodate for that. Will that be possible?” Fear seems to make me impervious to death glares, which is exactly what Ha-Rin is shooting me right now. I would care more, but this is my job, and moreover, this is their comeback. Nothing can be rushed, and even Ha-Rin has to respect that. With a smile so tight I fear her face will snap in two, she just nods and continues with her presentation. 

As we all pack up to get on with the day, she stops me just before I can escape. “Y/n, can you hang back for just a moment?” Crap on a cracker - I knew blind bravery was gonna bite me in the ass. 

“What can I help you with?”

“Just want to make sure we are on the same page about your upcoming content creation for the group. You know, it is very important that you don’t have any biases. You must plan in accordance to the guidelines we give you, not according to your own personal preferences. Does that make sense?” There’s still a few stragglers, so the show she’s putting on right now could win her a damn Oscar for “Genuine and Kind (but actually cunning and conniving) Boss”. Though, I am not sure what she’s playing at right now. I’ve barely spent more than a few hours with them, what is she even talking about?

“Biases? I’m not sure what I have done to indicate that I’m … playing favorites. Unless you’ve been seeing something I’m not aware of?.” The tension is palpable, and I’m pretty sure some of my coworkers are procrastinating just to see this go down. 

“Oh no, nothing crazy. I mean, if I had seen anything out of the ordinary, say longing stares or lingering touches with one particular member, I would certainly bring it to your attention. You’d know the repercussions of such actions, right?” 

The silence that follows is suffocating - there is no way I have been that obvious. No. I might look Yunjin’s way when she’s around, but I couldn’t have been so conspicuous as to catch anyone’s attention. Even I’m not that dumb. Unless…shit. I knew I had felt someone watching me the last few weeks. I had chalked it up to me being the new girl. Harmless curiosity! But if Ha-Rin has been out for me since day one? If she’s been purposely looking for a reason to cast me out? Then of course she’s picked up on my crush (read: ever growing infatuation and hopeless longing). I have to do damage control - and my job has barely even officially started! 

“I’m not sure what exactly you’ve seen, but I am simply doing my best to develop rapport with the members and my coworkers. I only hope to treat each member fairly and within the guidelines of the company. I’m sure that is okay to do? Considering I’ll be spending so much time with them?” 

She flashes that tight smile again, it’s like someone is pulling her cheeks back as she fights back. “Of course. We couldn’t be more thrilled to have such a … dedicated team member on board. We’ll talk later, y/n. You need to get to the members, yes?” She saunters out without another word, and I let out a shaky breath. 

Gathering all my strength, I make my way to the practice rooms where I know the girls are practicing. I make sure not to walk in while they’re dancing, so I wait outside for a few moments to let the song finish. Of course, my eyes wander to one member the fastest. She’s glowing, and the confidence she emits puts me at ease a little. Her stage presence is magnetic, and I almost miss that the song has ended and I’m good to head in. 

“Y/n! Hi! Oh my gosh is it finally time? We get to start working together?!” Sakura beams at me. The rest of the girls greet me with such enthusiasm, I decide to forget about my stare down with Ha-Rin. I’m not going to let her superiority complex ruin this opportunity. 

“Hey everyone! Yeah, I guess this is my first official day with you! I’m not filming anything quite yet, but I’ll be taking some notes and getting reference shots. I won’t be in your way, I promise.” 

“Don’t be silly, y/n, you could never be in our way,” says Yunjin, and I (internally) scream. 

“What do you need from us, y/n?” says Chaewon. I get a glimpse of what a good leader she is. Her immediate reaction is to ensure everyone’s work can go smoothly, and I appreciate her attention to detail. 

“So, I would love to take your group’s core concept as the inspiration for the content we put up in the next few months. Your message surrounds the concept of fearlessness and self-confidence, right? It’s that authenticity I want to capture. Rather than having all the videos be staged, I’d love to get candid shots of some behind the scenes work going into this comeback. Strip back any illusions of perfection and focus on your individual approaches to a comeback. What do you think?” I’ve actually been pretty excited about this idea. It took me a couple of weeks to flesh out how I would approach this without risking spoilers, but I think filming some of the highs and lows in a polaroid film style would not only be in line with their upcoming comeback concept, but also their identity as a whole. 

“Y/n, that’s really good! I love it, and I think our Fear-nots will be thrilled,” Eunchae says. 

“Yeah, I can’t wait to start! Plus I love that we won’t really have to memorize anything extra. We just get to be ourselves.” Kazuha seems particularly pleased, and I feel so proud. 

“Just as I expected - y/n is a genius,” Yunjin winks at me. I beam back, and I make a mental note to wear a face mask any time I’m in the same room as this woman. If I blush any harder, I’ll glow. I get my notebook and phone out, “Alright - let’s get started.”

_____________________________________________________________

Y'all! I did not realize how long it had been since I last posted, but thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has liked the chapters! It makes me so happy!

I was sick for a while and then there were a lot of life changes going down, but I am back! I hope y'all like this - we have a new character and we may or may not hate her a little. What do y'all think?!

[theangryjikooker]

Hey TAJ!

I’ve been loving the increased activity on your blog these days! I hope you don’t mind me asking a recycled question that I’ve seen other blogs being asked recently. What is one thing you love about each member and one constructive criticism that you would give? I really like hearing other people’s thoughts on the members’ personality traits. 🤗

LOL you can thank the anons that are literally flooding my inbox. I’m just picking things at random to answer at this point because there’s no way I’m catching up.

A different kind of question! Let’s see:

SEOKJIN He’s attentive, he’s a great hyung, he has no ego for someone who’s the oldest. He possesses a beautiful sense of empathy that can sometimes get lost in people who come from a well-to-do background. However, despite appearances, he lacks confidence where it actually matters. Yes, he’s beautiful and an excellent gamer; he’s funny and a charming host. But when it comes to his abilities as a singer and performer, he’ll find a way to be self-deprecating.

YOONGI He’s an excellent all-rounder, sharp-tongued, and witty. He’s brutally honest in a society that still doesn’t quite value it. He’s so full of warmth despite his predilection for a stoic front. He’s a great hyung, but his brutal honesty can sometimes lean into insensitivity. I don’t think he means to be mean-spirited about it, but some things in life require a soft hand.

HOSEOK Extremely underrated and versatile artist. It makes sense that he’s considered the second-in-command because he has so much discipline and desire for efficiency. I love that he embraces his sunny and dark side, and how he dotes on the maknae line. His perfectionism is to be lauded from a professional standpoint, but it’s equally his own worst enemy. He seems to have good control over it, but I’ve seen that type of perfectionism splinter relationships or become the catalyst for a complex.

NAMJOON Gifted in every possible way, especially his command of Korean and English in practical and creative ways; he’s a talented wordsmith and arguably untouchable in that sense. He’s introspective and great at expressing himself clearly. He’s an incredible leader, and BTS bias aside, I do think his brand of leadership is unparalleled amongst his peers. One thing that I’ve noticed with him, however, is that he seems to get really frustrated easily but will harness it until he implodes.

JIMIN Maturity beyond his years, he’s kind and is willing to give pieces of himself to others who need him. He’s very considerate of others and an overall delightful human being full of vulnerability, and I love that he’s managed to overcome a lot of demons in order to embrace himself better. My criticism for him is that he seems to rely a lot on BTS as a unit and preserving this idea of staying together forever, and I think his level of attachment can be really devastating when the reality of it sets in later that nothing lasts forever. Not that he would ever lose touch with the members, but Jimin sometimes gives the impression that he thinks he’s nothing without BTS, which is false.

TAEHYUNG My eccentric alien, and it’s what I love the most about him and what gives him an edge. I love that his personality is dynamic and that he’s confident in himself, that he knows how to prioritize himself and his needs, enforces boundaries when he has to. I would go so far as to say that Taehyung, next to Yoongi, is one of the main protectors of BTS. My critique might sound like a cop out to some, but he’s genuinely the hardest to read. Sure, in his profession, those walls keep people you don’t want out, but it also makes it hard for me (as a fan) to connect with him beyond anything superficial. Not that he owes that to me or anyone.

JUNGKOOK My favorite thing about him is how open he is to his environment; he’s a sponge. Everything that he is frequently praised for is indisputable, and he’s still young. He’s truly an impressive human, and what I love even more is how his appearance belies his true personality. It’s so endearing. The one thing I’d criticize, which is both counterintuitive and likely an unpopular thing to say, is that he’s too open with ARMY. Of all the members, he’s cultivated a very strong parasocial relationship with his fans, which I’ve thought for a while to be a little bit… unhealthy. I understand that he’s trying to give as much as he gets, but I do think he gets carried away at times.

—

Whew, this took me a while, and I definitely started glazing over about halfway through. Thanks for the ask!

[dojae-huh]

Honestly Huh-nim, I don’t know if Do is into feet himself. It is still something I want to see for myself, so I’m trying to see if this new DJJ content it will pop up somewhere. Kind of made it a mission for me to see if Do will mention feet in any content he is in. Also, if Jae is a feet guy I would think Do, who is his partner, would be ok with you know...

I haven’t really kept up with SungTaro but look at Taro. I could barely recognize him! I really like this hair on him though!

As for Taeyong pic you uploaded. As much as I like Taeyong and his experimental style... I don’t like this hair color on him. Not bad, but not the best.

Also, I finally heard all the songs enough to give my final verdict. It’s funny because I remember you told an anon before who was not feeling Jungwoo’s voice to basically ignore it, and that is what I have done. I like Jungwoo’s voice sometimes (i.e. BOSS), but when I literally listen to DJJ and I will be like what happened to Jungwoo? I either unconsciously stopped listening or am not actively listening for his voice. Therefore, my final verdict is... that his voice fits great lol

p.s. to all the Jungwoo bias out there, please don’t take this verdict seriously. I don’t have a real verdict for the reasons stated above (basically not hearing him), so I can’t give an appropriate opinion on something I can’t give my full attention to.

I've never seen any mentions of Do liking feet even as a joke. But it's a fun activity to look for evidence, I won't stop you, haha.

I mean, we really have no evidence Jaehyun is into feet (those screenshots are just random thing). He never commented on Do's feet (he does regularly about Do's calves to tease). I agree, though, that if he were, Do wouldn't object.

SungTaro promoted in Japan for quite some time, but now they are temporally MIA, waiting for the debut of their unit. There are so many groups and solos lined up in SM, and a debut of a new unit is a big thing, that it won't happen ealier than the second half of Summer. I suppose they have to wait for NCT2023 to be launched with a smooth integration in the lore. Shotaro passed the Korean language test recently, I think? And he now calls BoA as noona, heh. The years of waiting weren't completely wasted.

The yellow with black Tae's haircolour is not the best among the colours he had, however, it can't be perceived as such. It is too jarring, too unnaturally looking. The point of such a colour is not to compliment or highlight, but to attract attention and stay a lingering impression. It's that "change!" element. The important thing is that Tae still can pull it off, he doesn't look ridiculous or like the hair is a wig.

The way we perceive a voice and a song is influenced by our emotions and our mood. We are good at tuning out sounds (like the ticking of clocks). I understand English, but when I listen to English songs I often don't follow the lyrics, as I switch off language recognition programme and don't pay attention to words. Some songs can irritate one time and feel OK another time. It's really all very subjective. That's why I advocate for giving songs a second and and a fifth chance.