#is it insecurity? is it self hatred?

[wabatle]

does anyone else lowkey get really uncomfortable when they have to take a picture of themself or have to be in a picture...? ...no? just me? okay

[lordandladywhistledown]

You can tell by the reaction people have to Penelope asking Colin to kiss her whether they ever experienced being a wallflower/insecure fat girl at a party or not.

Because you say it's pathetic, I say it's relatable, no matter how desperate it may sound. If you've never had your insecurity eat you up from the inside (but also the outside, as Portia literally told Penelope that she was delusional for thinking she was gonna find a husband in her third season out) to the point you genuinely, wholeheartedly believe no one will ever love you unless you physically change, then obviously the scene is off to you.

But Pen literally told Colin she felt stupid for thinking she's gonna find a husband (she just started believing what the ton and her mother said) and that she knows no one would want to kiss her. And for a romance girl like her, do you think the thought of never having a kiss, never experiencing that passion, would be easy to bear? I can so relate to being the most romantic of the bunch but also being the loneliest and aching for physical and emotional romantic love.

She is so vulnerable and so real in that moment but y'all gotta bitch about it because it doesn't make sense to you. It doesn't make sense to me either because she's gorgeous, but that's the thing - no one ever told her she's gorgeous and actually meant it. And even if they did, there must be 10 more people who didn't that keep that insecurity in her, specifically her sisters and her mother.

Nicola said this one was for the wallflowers, and it truly is, so if you find scenes like this cringe, you just don't relate to the character enough to feel it and recall moments when you had the same thoughts as her.

[sandersontheside]

My hot take is that if Roman were to "duck out" the way Virgil did in Accepting Anxiety, the result would be something akin to clinical depression. Roman has always been more than Thomas's creativity, he's also Thomas's drive, his passion, his desire. The motivation and ability to make art, or work, or even build relationships. All of that is wrapped up in Roman.

Sure, there are other motivating factors as we've seen in the videos on the topic. Logan motivates with the knowledge that work puts food on the table, Virgil motivates through fear. But Roman is the only one who motivates through love and joy, through hopes and dreams. Because while Patton is driven by emotion, he's more impulsive, more driven by what will make Thomas feel good in the moment, as opposed to Roman who while fanciful and emotional, is ultimately driven by plans and goals for the future.

Therefore, without Roman, Thomas would have no drive. No passion. No desire to make or do anything beyond base necessities for staying alive. No ability to see past immediate survival or imagine a possible happier future. No hopes and dreams. No spark. I don't even think Virgil's strongest panic could override a complete lack of passion for anything. Thomas would feel anxious and awful, but he still wouldn't be able to do anything.

And that's basically what clinical depression is. It's not just being sad--it's being exhausted, and numb, and unable to get out of bed in the morning because you just don't care about anything anymore. It's not finding joy in the things you used to love the most. It's feeling paralyzed because there are so many things you should be doing or you want to do, but you simply can't. Depression is, at its core, a lack of passion, joy, and drive.

[rowrowronnie]

thinking abt dadspy again

[morelikebaldursgay]

Every time I struggle to understand how Gale is so arrogant and so low-self esteem at the same time I just think back to myself in middle school. Like yes his character is well-developed and multidimensional but also it is fundamentally neurodivergent mentally ill gifted kid who thinks they are so much better and smarter than everyone and everything would work better if they were in charge but also thinks that they are the worst person alive.

[daylighteclipsed]

While I’m talking, Cloud almost killing Tifa in Gongaga is not just a ‘would that be fucked up or what’ moment or even because Tifa has the true memories/proof to counter Sephiroth’s lies (though, that is part of it). It’s also because killing Tifa is the antithesis of who Cloud is. It’s the antithesis of the little boy who put his life on the line to save her and then dedicated his life to becoming strong enough to protect her. The antithesis of his promise to be there for her and the feelings behind it. “Cloud” and “Tifa’s killer” cannot coexist. “Cloud,” the boy defined by a desire to protect Tifa, cannot survive this. That’s why Sephiroth is trying so hard to get Cloud to kill Tifa. Sephiroth could kill her himself and that would still be majorly bad for Cloud’s true identity as he’d still lose his only tether to reality and the symbol of his conscience. But it wouldn’t be as effective as having Cloud do the honors. Sephiroth needs Cloud to kill the light in his own heart. He needs Cloud to kill his self. And there is no more definitive way than this.

[desultory-suggestions]

I cannot stress enough how increasingly damaging social media, but especially apps like TikTok and Twitter are for your self image. Every single week there’s a new part of your body that you should erase. Your cheeks are too full, your arms have fat on them, when you smile your face moves, and on and on. Even when you avoid those encouraging it, you’re surrounded by those discussing it. Please consider whether the temporary moments of enjoyment are worth the constant barrage of hatred spewed at your body on these apps. It’s not normal, and it’s not healthy. You deserve to be loved fully. You deserve to enjoy life without constant nonsense telling you to change. You are enough.

[dontforgetthedragon]

i havent reread the mortal engines books in years but i cannot get hester shaw out of my head

[spliceyblues]

I'll be upfront and honest, I've never done anything skin care related except for the moisturizing and cold water. Mainly bc I have the habit to neglect myself

*whole other rant for another day or maybe not

But, I want to begin now, I want to learn to take care of myself, to appreciate what I am without being so negative all the time. And I feel like if I can diminish this small habit of mine and learn to love myself by taking care of myself, I can begin to work on other more important things, and maybe discover something good.

Anyway, if anyone has any tips or a beginner's guide, I'd appreciate the help, thx for reading.

[drunk-on-poems-and-songs]

da boi

he was born screaming, not in protest, but as if to confess, as if the world deserved to know it had just been cursed.

his parents didn’t love the way he laughed, or how his presence clung like a stain. he began to tear himself apart, scraping off the dirt of who he was, offering the pieces as penance, but no matter how much he bled, he could never scrub himself clean.

in school, he was the boy who sat too still, a shadow out of place, a smudge on their perfect picture. he studied their smiles like commandments, practiced their words like prayers, and still, he failed. his strangeness seeped through the cracks, and when they didn’t call him strange, they called him nothing. so he clung to two others not friends, just fixtures who didn’t tell him to disappear.

when he switched schools, he thought he could start over, but filth doesn’t fade, does it? on the first day, his silence betrayed him, his eyes darting like a rat’s, searching for scraps of approval. what did they like? what would make him look less like a mistake? the headaches came as often as his failures, his masks crumbling faster than he could build them.

he made friends, he thinks, but they only keep him around because throwing him out would be worse than tolerating him. he believes this. he knows this. their patience isn’t affection

it’s endurance. friendship is sacred to him, but not to them. he’s just another burden they’ve learned to carry.

he doesn’t know who he is anymore, and maybe that’s a kindness. the boy he used to be the quiet one, the one with the book in his hands, hated by teachers, despised by peers was just another version of the same filth. this version is no better, only older, only uglier.

when he looks in the mirror, he sees a thing pretending to be human. flaws aren’t enough of a word. he’s rot disguised as skin, decay masquerading as flesh. he works out to keep the illusion alive, but the mirror knows. he dreams of clawing himself apart, tearing through the disguise, to find the thing he knows is there the abomination, the wretch who doesn’t deserve this air, this earth, this life.

he wants to be understood, but what is there to understand? he’s a coward, a leech, a failure marked by disgrace. his poems are rants, his words are lies, his attempts at creation only proof that even art can rot.

he distances himself, and they let him, because they’ve learned to live without him. friends, family, even the stars they know he’s weight, and he knows it too.

he is a child who never stopped acting, but the act was never convincing. and the tragedy is, he was always the villain. no one asked him to perform. no one asked for him at all.

[byanyan]

byan talking to someone who has had a similarly difficult life but hasn't taken up such vices as alcohol & drugs like "damn, you just been rawdoggin' life like that??? christ, dude. here, have some fuckin' vodka—"

[kittyaccent]

I'm terrified of seeing people I haven't seen for a while. And they'll notice how ugly I became. I can't hide the extra 10 kilos with baggy clothes.

[arohuacheng]

hua cheng body dysmorphia truther. that man does not have a realistic concept of what he looks like and he is not reasonable or healthy about the way that he looks either

[nobodieshero-main]

NOBODY MOVE I'M HAVING POSITIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT MORDRED AND ATLAS.

[coachbeards]

i love child of abuse sex worker drug addict ex con domestic abusive victim beard … I hope one day he can be happy

[4rtsymugzzz]

i will see myself in pictures and I always look so fucking ugly it's actually scary