#is it a surprise i got sick at the biggest major outing i’ve been to in two years

[pinkfey]

being sick as an adult is the worst 🫠

[iwadori]

Hiiii!!!! can you do like when you guys are supposed to meet up and they waited for about an hour or so and kept texting you you but you haven't replied so they thought you ditched them and got mad at you and stuff then they decided to go home and while on their way home not too far from their school they found you unconscious body with a large wound on you back and your head bleeding?.

can you pleaseease do tsukishima, yamaguchi, ushijima, bokuto (I'm sorry if that's a lot)

Haikyu Boys when you get hurt Pt 2 (Ushijima,Bokuto

Part One Part Two Part Three

Word count: 2.6K

Genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Ushijima

You were having the worst week this week,  from battling a cold and your boss making you do all sorts of extra jobs (that were definitely not under your job description.) As easter was swiftly approaching you and Ushijima had your annual plans of going to the local kids community center and helping them with an easter egg hunt. But you don’t think you can manage it this year.

Ushijima gets home from practice with 4 bags just filled with easter eggs ranging from all different sizes, “woah there Toshi, you’ve got enough there too feed all of england” you laugh  

“I don’t think these eggs will be able to sustain England Y/N” he says seriously making you laugh even harder. As you were laughing, you felt another migraine come along making your cringe in pain. “Toshi, I don’t think I can do the easter egg hunt this year?”  

He sits down next to you alarmed that something is wrong, “why what happened Y/N” he asks

“I’ve been feeling terrible all week, and I even have a migraine right now” you say to him thinking he would understand.

“That’s it?” he questions thinking what you said was a joke “I think you can handle a migraine, remember we’re doing this for the kids”

His words were making you feel slightly guilty since maybe you were being over dramatic. “Y/N if it’s really ‘that bad’, i’ll make you some tea so you can feel better,” he says going into the kitchen to start on your tea. You murmur a quiet ���thank you” and you end up falling asleep, hoping that by the time you wake up your head stops pounding.

As you wake up, you realise you slept all the way through the night and over to the next day as when you look at your clock it says 12:32 pm. You look at your nightstand and saw that Ushijima wrote you a note saying:  

Y/N I've left out early to set out the easter egg hunt, I’ve made you breakfast so eat up and get prepared for the event which starts at 4pm. Please don’t forget.

Sincerely – Ushijima Wakatoshi.

You chuckle at the fondness of the note, before realising your pain. Your brain felt like it was having a live concert inside that definitely was not going to end soon but you still got up prepared for the day. You didn’t want to let Ushijima or the kids down.  

When you go to the kitchen , you see the cute breakfast that Ushijima made you consisting of all of your favourite foods and with another simple note of him saying ‘ I love you. ‘ Ushijima has always been a lovely boyfriend, treating you like the queen you are always making sure that you were okay. Of course, his bluntness and his lack of social cues was something to get used to but when you did get accustomed to it, it only made you fall in love with him more.

You got ready, feeling even more sick as the piping hot shower that you usual have, did not help as when you were showering you felt heavily faint. However, you persevered since you did not want to let Ushijima down.

You finally were prepared to leave the house, with the community center being on 15 minutes walk away you were leaving out at 3:50pm since you were planning to take your car anyways. When you leave your home, you realise that you forgot your car keys so you dash up the stairs (a bit too quickly) to go and find them. Scrambling through your draws, your head is pounding harder and harder and the more it pounds the quicker your moving making you even more faint. You eventually find your keys and you’re ready to zoom to the community center but your body gave out and you pass out tumbling down the stairs landing at your front door.

Ushijima was waiting outside of the community center waiting for you to arrive it was 4:05pm and he was wondering where you were (knowing that your place was only a 10 minute drive away) he sent you a few texts asking where you were but when you don’t respond Ushijima becomes slightly annoyed, plastering a fake smile on his face and entering the community center, starting the easter egg hunt.

The easter egg hunt came to a close at 8pm and Ushijima assumed that you would’ve showed up some time in the middle of the event, but you obviously didn’t show. After making sure that all the kids left safely Ushijima decided to call and text you more and when you continuously don’t respond and your calls go to voicemail he says ‘Y/N, im really disappointed with you right now. How could you do this to me? You said you would show up, the kids were really upset, how could you be so selfish?’

He walks to your house knocking on the door, but when you don’t immediately answer he knew something must be up now, since you haven’t responded to any of his texts and calls and didn’t show up he figured there was something deeper then you just ditching the event.

He used his key to open the door, surprised when the door hit something. He tried again hitting the ‘object’ that was laying at the door again. He carefully pushes the door to make enough room for him to fit through the gap. When he entered, he was startled at the sight of you, there you lay completely knocked out with a blood stain next to your head. He knelt down next to you and touched your cheek you were extremely cold, he had to get you to a hospital stat. He called an ambulance, panicked. Worrying about how long you’ve been out for since it would have to be atleast more than 4 hours he assumed.

You woke up in a foreign room, with your head slightly stinging. You place your hand on the back of your head and wince, then you remember you need to be at the easter egg hunt so you bolt up ready to move.  

“I don’t think that’s wise for you to do that Y/N” Ushijima says to you  

“Toshi, what happened?” you ask still in pain

“It seems you fell down the stairs and hit your head” after he said that all your memories come flooding back, and you remember rushing to the community centre, looking for your keys, and then falling down the stairs and everything going black.

“I’m sorry Ushi for missing the easter egg hunt, I really tried to get there,” you say with an apologetic look on your face  

“It’s fine Y/N of course you wouldn’t of been able to get there after falling down the stairs” he says “Also, this is proof of why you shouldn’t run down the stairs”

You eventually get discharged with the doctor telling you all you need to do is rest and stay off your feet. Ushijima took the doctor's orders very seriously, becoming your loyal servant and waiting on you hand and foot, tending to your every need. He did also make you were eating healthy and taking all your medicine so you could have the best recovery possible.  

Also, after realising that this could’ve all been avoided if Ushijima didn’t guilt trip you in the first place for having a migraine, he made sure to never ignore or dismiss when you say you are ill or have anything wrong with you even if it’s a migraine, a lost limb or a simple paper cut.

Bokuto  

The Olympics were coming up and Bokuto couldn’t be any more excited than he already was. Everything he’s talked about for the past month he manages to find a way to relate to the Olympics, and as annoying as it got sometimes you were just as excited for it as much as Bokuto was.  

Bokuto was heavily busy with extra practices so you were bored and lonely, since your boyfriend was at practice all the time so you chose to take up a new hobby. You decided to paint, although you weren’t an award-winning painter you still found joy in it. Being Bokuto’s girlfriend you had some slight unwanted attention on you: the usual fans of Bokuto that just followed you to have an extra aspect of him in their life's, or his fangirls that adored him.  

You didn’t mind the fangirls for the most part since majority of them were pretty tamed and did fawn over your relationship. However, there was the minority of fans that did make it known to you that they DID NOT like you at all. When you started posting your paintings, it seems their hate for you amplified since they always found the need to leave an astray of mean comments on your post. But that didn’t mainly bother you since you thought that they only had that energy behind the screen.

The days went by getting closer to the Olympics, with Bokuto always asking you every day “Y/N you are coming to my games, right?” to which you always replied “Of course Kou, I’m coming” which always made him smile.

When the Olympics came, you’ve went to all the games cheering Bokuto and the team on as they were winning round after round. Whilst this was going on, the group of girls that were sending you horrible messages and making mean posts about you weren’t stopping. At first, you didn’t care for them but it seems their posts only gotten worse making comments about your artwork, your face, your body type ect.  

You didn’t want to tell Bokuto as you felt that it would ruin his Olympic momentum and you thought you could handle it all on your own.  

It was nearing to the final game of the Olympics, and Bokuto was ecstatic he made sure that you promised you’d be there claiming that you was his ‘good luck’ charm.’ You were excited to go too, the feeling of watching Bokuto play was exhilarating seeing him fully in his element was great for you to see.

On the last game day, Boktuo was already at the stadium since him and the team had to be there earlier to practice and you planned to meet him there just before the game started at 4:30. You went to a florist before the match getting Bokuto the biggest boquet that you could buy.  

On your way to the stadium you here somebody whistle from behind you, you turn around and see a group of girls waiting behind you smirking. “Hi?” you say more like a question then a statement “do you want something from me?”

Some of them laugh, but the one standing at the front who you mentally lable the ‘main one’ steps closer to you and says “We want you to stay away from Bokuto” you realise that these were the girls sending you hate online for these past weeks.

Before you can even blink, the girls jump you, hitting, kicking and clawing at you. You are in pain, screaming and crying for them to stop and leave you alone. You lay there, letting them beat you up thinking that you’ll probably end up dead out of this. All you can think about is Bokuto, you didn’t get to wish him good luck, or give him your flowers (that you spent a fortune on) or even tell him that you loved him one last time.

You think the girls eventually stopped but you couldn’t tell because your body was throbbing and you hurt all over. You tried to get up still wanting to go to the match but you collapse going out cold.

Bokuto was scanning the crowd over and over for you, hoping to spot you there. But he couldn’t, he was wondering where you were getting sadder and sadder by the second since he really believed you were his good luck charm and he probably wouldn’t be able to win without at least seeing your face once.

They didn’t win. Bokuto knew he wasn’t playing at his best, since all his mind was on was thinking about where you were. You’ve never missed one of his games, so he was incredibly worried. After he accepted his second-place medal, he rushed out the stadium to go to your house but he was stopped by some fangirls ‘I guess signing autographs is the least I can do’ he thinks, the fans were being a bit odd today but he didn’t have time to focus on that as his mind was racing thinking about you and your whereabouts.  

One of his fans did give him an alarmingly big boquet of roses which he appreciated ‘these must of cost a fortune’ he thinks. Although it was a probably a long shot, he decided to ask the fan if he saw someone who looked like *whatever you look like* to maybe see if someone else saw you. Which the fan replied “yeah I saw them with some guy at this restaurant whilst we were going to see you!” they exclaimed.

‘A guy’ he thought ‘that most likely wasn’t you.’ Seeing Bokuto’s confusion, the fan followed up with “I'm pretty sure it was her I mean we all know who Bokuto Koutaro’s girlfriend was.” Bokuto didn’t reply just walking away making sure to thank them for the flowers.  

He was rushing towards your house on foot (since all the taxi’s and ubers were fully booked because of the Olympics) whilst running he stumbles across your passed out body all black and bruised with scratch marks and bleeding all over you. “what happened” he whispered, knowing you obviously weren’t going to respond.  

He picked up your near-dead body, and cradled you in his arms taking you back to the stadium (since he knew that getting an ambulance to come here or running to the hospital would basically be impossible.) When he got back to the stadium, he did get odd looks from strangers but he didn’t care, his only agenda was making sure you were okay.

You woke up, and saw Bokuto pacing the room repeatedly you tried to get his attention by saying his name but your throat was damaged. He eventually notices you and runs to your side, stroking your face softly and giving you a gentle hug making sure not to hurt you.  

“Who did this Y/N?” he asks with worry in his eyes  

You ignore his question and look at the silver medal wrapped around his neck making you sad “I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the match, I tried I really did try” you said with your voice sounding even worse after you said every word.  

“Don’t be silly, I’m just glad that you’re okay babe, I was really worried about you.” he said

The Medic came in and said that you had multiple broken ribs, but beside that you were fine you just needed to rest your throat and let your bruises heal. You eventually told Bokuto that it was some of his fans, he was upset that you hid this from him for so long but he was just glad that he got to you as soon as he did. He managed to play at the next Olympics and you were there fully present, with your even bigger boquet of flowers watching win gold.

Authors Note: I tried to make it as close to your request as possible, but I hope you enjoy as I really do think this is my favourite work so far.... :3 Comments and feedback appreciated.

[sonianvmd]

thh characters with a crush on you

warnings: none, maybe some swearing but otherwise nothing major

oH and mentions of murder and death but this is danganronpa so im going to assume u expected as much

a/n: so we kickin this blog off with a bang, writing for LITERALLY THE ENTIRE TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC CAST LMFAOAOAOAO (excluding hifumi, yasuhiro, and the two despairs doe bc i’ve already made that clear)

also some character’s sections are shorter than others im sorry i just couldnt think of as many bullet points for them *tiktok cry emoji*

edit: I FORGOT CELSESTE FU K SORRY

spoilers under the cut!!

★ 彡 ★ ミ ★ 彡 ★ ミ ★

makoto naegi

when he realizes he likes you, he doesn’t necessarily panic or anything, but he does get nervous

nervous around you, that is

y’all saw how he was with sayaka

if he says anything that might sound intimate then he’ll immediately rephrase it or reassure he didn’t mean anything by it

he really only does have good intentions but his wording just kinda flops sometimes

he appreciates how you listen to him and value what he says

you don't make him feel dumb or inferior compared to a bunch of ultimates with actual talents

he’ll muster up the courage to tell you eventually

let’s hope his luck comes through 😁

byakuya togami

now when THIS man realizes he likes you, he a bitch nigga bout it 😐

he can't believe he fell for a common plebeian such as you

but it was hard not to

the way you preferred to get to the point

the way you were aware of your situation and didn't sugarcoat how you felt about it, although you certainly were nicer with it than him

he's ruthless

anyways

you knew your priorities and spent no time trying to use your resources

he noticed how much you had in common; in you, he saw himself

and we all know how this mf feels about himself 😐

he’ll be quick to defend you in class trials

he won’t realize he’s doing it but he just subconsciously protects you

but just because he doesn't notice it, don't mean the rest of the class brushes past it as well

yeah they on his ass LMFAOO

kyoko kirigiri

kyoko is very good at keeping her composure so she won’t be very obvious

she’ll probably just hang around you more

she’ll also defend you in class trials, calmly

“oh, it couldn’t have been [name]. i remember seeing them in their dorm around the time the murder took place.”

hifumi probably finna say some dumb shit like “aye what was you doin in their dorm doe” but anyways

she finds you respectable

if you have anything to contribute, she’ll let you take the floor

when she tells you, she’s very composed, but also very indirect LMFAO

she’s not too sure on how to express her interest in you but maybe she’ll go about it like “well, [name], now we’ve made it here, would you like to step back into the world with me?” or somethin else along those lines idk

take her hand

pls

toko fukawa

y’all know her whole “master togami” shtick

yeah so 😁😁😁😁

no but fr, toko ofc still has her borderline stalkerish 🧍🏾‍♀️ tendencies

she’ll often find herself staring at you, either in the library or in the morning meetings everyday at breakfast

but she isn’t as straight forward as she is with byakuya

i actually think she’d be mad shy and non confrontational

the whole thing she kept up with him ? yeah, never again

if you approach her first then she’ll be able to get a few words out but for most of the conversation, she’ll just nervously play with her braids

you’ll most likely put two and two together

unless ur a makoto kinnie bc then you’ll have to wait till someone else puts it in place for u but anyways

if you decide to approach her about it, you’ll kinda be backing her into a corner bc she’s just bad at deflecting things lmao

she’ll eventually confess (begrudgingly but hey i mean its better than nothing)

expect much stuttering and a gesture like giving you a small gift

and not to be that writer that uses japanese terms in english writing but toko seems like a tsundere but not really if that makes sense?? so she’d probably shove it in your hands and if you try to say something then she’ll just try to play it off as not a big deal lol

calls u a baka 😍😍

aoi asahina

i know y’all all see how she is with sakura

yeah.

aoi is the kind of person who’d like to spend time with their crush rather than shy away from them

she values you and your friendship very much

bring her donuts

just trust me bring her donuts

she doesn’t really realize she’s into you like that for a while but believe me, she is, the whole time

and yeah i think she’d be nervous to tell you bc that’s just natural but ultimately she’d be cool about it

uh oh looks like we goin for a swim

sakura ogami

similar to kyoko, she’s very calm

despite her big and bad appearance, she really is a sweet girl

she cares for you and your well-being very much

will indeed go on x games mode for you

the way she tells you is very sincere and well spoken

kith her

naow

im sorry this is like the shortest one i couldn’t think of much for her 😔😔

leon kuwata

flirtatious ass mf

and he’s lightskin

so this just cannot go well

y’all know that bit where it’s like the guy yawns and stretches his arms up and then wraps one around your shoulder

yeah that’s literally him LMFAOO

he’s very confident

he was fairly well known with the ladies at his old school so you know he’s rhockin wit it ‼️

but

you feel.. different than usual ??

those girls were just lil flings n dates bc he was nice enough to accept their confessions and it boosted his ego anyway so it was a win win

but you

he was genuinely interested in you since he had saw you the first time

he didn’t just acknowledge your appearance

he learnt about your personality and your hobbies and what you liked and such, and he really cared and wanted to hear you talk about it all

he felt the need to really make an effort to show you how much he respected and had affections for you

he doesn't tell you in a grand way

probably just asks you out to a movie or somethin

he's chillin

mondo owada

you know

for being the biggest, baddest, most respected biker gang leader

or just for being in a biker gang period

mondo’s a huge softie lol

yeah he gets violent but he’s a sweet guy who cares about and is loyal to his friends

so mfs need to be nice to you

or they gettin whooped

when he decides it’s time to tell you how he feels, he thinks over his words and he’s all confident there’s no way you’d reject him but then he sees you in the halls and goes 🧍🏾 LMFAOOO

he’ll push through but it’s like he’ll walk up to you and look away from you because he refuses eye contact and just go

“so y/n, would you wanna.. tch.. come to a drive-in movie with me or somethin’?... dumbass.”

real smooth mondo i think you got em good job

please tease him LMFAOO it’d be so funny

he’d probably yell but you can tell he’s not mad so you just keep going with it

but once you’re done tormenting him, you do agree to the movie, don’t worry 🙏🏾

also mondo would call his s/o doll

that is all

chihiro fujisaki

my fav dude in a dress <3

chihiro would be quite shy, but that’s just how he is tbh so no surprise there

he’s very kind so he’d check up on you often just to see how you are

he cares about you v much

the way he confesses is one that consists of a red face as he offers you a box of candy or something similar

and he’d feel honored that you reciprocate his feelings

he’d be very scared to tell you his secret but once he does, he’s delighted to hear it doesn’t make any difference to you

he doesn’t know how he got so lucky with you

not only because woooo they like me back but also because you like him despite,, well everything about him LMFAOO

sweet lil boy

i’d feel like he’d talk about you to alter ego a lot

and when u meet the program for the first time, he’s like “oh! you must be [name]! master’s told me all about you :)”

sobbing i miss him

kiyotaka ishimaru

okay here’s the thing

if taka were to like someone

i can’t tell whether he’d be more strict because he doesn’t want them to get in trouble (and also so it would hopefully divert any suspicion that he DOES like you since he treats you the same as everyone else, only more)

or if he’d hold back more because he favors them LMFAOO

so imma write a lil bit for both

in the case that he was even stricter:

he’d prefer to be around you because he believes the best way he can make sure you stay out of trouble is to make sure you don’t get into any in the first place

of course it’s impossible to monitor you every second of every day but he does his best to make sure you’re doing well

if he sees you do anything out of line, he’s shutting that shit down IMMEDIATELY

but in the case he let up:

he’d still lecture you but noticeably less than the other students

if your feet were resting on top of a desk, he’d ask you to move them and then leave you alone rather than yell at you and forcibly move them himself

if you notice his behavior towards you in comparison to the other students do not tease him about it he will go as red as his eyes /hj

either way he’s confessing to you with a polite but exaggerated bow while holding out a well thought out letter with both hands

sayaka maizono

she will tell you

idk why but i feel like she’d be straight up lol

she’d make sure she’s sincere

she is the ultimate pop idol and all so she wants to make sure you know that she really does like you and isn’t playing a sick joke on you or anything

ok bc

while i do think she’d tell you

i’d feel like she’d be a little indirect just to see how you feel

like she’d give you a free ticket to one of her upcoming concerts with a kind smile

and naturally, you're like :o

and of course you come to support her

and seeing you smile at her from the crowd and cheer her on was the encouragement she needed to push her to ask you out

for real this time

she asks if you wanna come to a concert with her and ur like “oh yeah i love ur shows!!” bc ur dumb and then she’s like “no i mean.. for another artist” and eventually it hits you that she’s asking you out and ur like “oH YEAH YEAH SURE THAT SOUNDS GREAT YEAH OK” LMFAOO

———

i really hope that this is good LMFAOO this is my first time writing for dr so 😃👍🏾

fun fact i finished toko’s section first and taka’s last 😁😁

and i’d like to thank @mius-imagination @bloodygir n the rest of the discord for helping me figure some of these characters out *simultaneously whips and nae naes*

bye ive been working on this for like weeks this took forever

———

edit: here’s a deleted section bc i kept blanking for this character 😍

[miss-kittyy]

Rewriting Briarlight and Longtail’s Deaths

So I am disabled, like very disabled, I am %50 of the teenagers ever diagnosed with my special combination of pain disorders, and I also unfortunately hyper fixated on warrior cats, which is bad news for me because warrior cats is super ableist, and to add insult to injury, the fandom can also be pretty ableist.

My biggest problem with the majority of “anti-ableist” AUs is that they “fix” the ableism stemming from the narrative and able bodied characters by making the disabled character less disabled, this so bad for many reasons. I’ve talked more about in other posts. The justification that real life disabled cats are less doesn’t make it not ableist, since when was warrior cats meant to be realistic? If you’re making an au where the disabled cats function like actual disabled cats you also have to make all the cats genetically accurate, and retcon Lionblaze lifting a tree.

My problem with warrior cats is not that the disabled characters cannot become full conventional warriors, I’d like it if they got to choose what duties the perform instead of being crammed into the medicine den, but I don’t care about Cinderpelt not being able to complete a marathon. Most of the fandom seems to think the issue is that the disabled character are not useful enough, instead of the way that able bodied characters deny of them agency and make remarks like “you wouldn’t want to return to a life like her’s would you?”. Disabled people do not need to be “useful” to be worthy and empowering.

It’s very obvious that most of the fandom just wants the disabled cats to be more palatable to abled bodied people, so I’ve decided to make my own rewrite instead to hopefully make myself feel better. A lot of these things are inspired by my own experiences and not every disabled person is looking for the same things in representation, this is totally self indulgent.

The goal of this AU is to highlight the many unique and valuable aspects disability and how being disabled does not infringe upon anyone’s worth, ever.

- Longtail doesn’t die in the storm, Briarpaw is still injured, but he’s found besides her, trying his best to help her cling to life.

- after Briarpaw begins to recover he stands up to Millie and other cats insulting her quality of life, he says her journey will be hard, but it is one worth taking.

- She asks him why he’s an elder, and he decides to request to have his warrior ship restored as Briarpaw is dreading the life of an elder.

- On his first patrol the cats accompanying him insist on speaking to him in an incredibly infantilism tone, and whispering amongst themselves over what he can or can’t do, without consulting him,

- He initially gives up on patrolling after that insufferable experience.

- Briarlight begins to create marks and blobs on the wall of the medicine den using crushed up dead herbs she asks him to retrieve some berries for her, and he complies.

- Jayfeather shows him how he navigates the territory with the help of some of the sighted cats, and Mousefur is quick to volunteer as his guide. He finds her company surprisingly empowering. He realizes that it was not his blindness which was limiting his abilities, but the other cats attitudes.

- Mousefur and Longtail return with mouthful of berries and herbs, Briarlight describes to him what she’s drawing on the side of the den and he helps he mound the materials into paint.

- The cats begin to pop into the medicine den to see Briarlights painting and soon Jayfeather has to kick her out occasionally so they’d stop crowding him, she’s given the walls of camp to decorate instead.

- She begins to illustrate Longtails stories of the old territory and Bloodclan, and this new form of storytelling becomes a tradition amongst Thunderclan.

- because more young cats are aware of the clans history it becomes harder for the dark forest to recruit them, unfortunately, Blossomfall’s resentment towards her sister means she never cared to listen.

- Ivypool is still recruited and trained like in canon, given her relationship with the dark forest was much more emotionally charged and manipulative than just plain lies.

- at a gathering Longtail meets Grasspelt who inquires about Briarlight, Longtail is surprised about how little he knows as the she-cat had mentioned how well they got along as apprentices. Despite Millie nagging him not to tell him the truth about her daughter he does anyways, but puts much more emphasis on how well she’s doing than Millie expected. Grasspelt thinks this sounds really cool and decides that he is going to see her and her paintings, and that nobody can stop him. Longtail makes sure to put any opposing cat in their place, but Briarlight is a very respected Clanmate, so most warriors don’t say anything.

- Briarlight is nervous and doesn’t want to come out of the medicine den at first, but when Grassheart darts into the den holding berries and flowers for her to paint with she quickly warms up to her visitor.

- Grassheart is happy to tell Briarlight that he’s never been able to be a “functioning” warrior, and that he has always imagined that his spirit is shaped different, the medicine cat says his body is normal, but he’s never been able to keep focus in a fight or react as quickly as he should be able to while hunting. (He’s autistic because I say so)

- As dusk nears he’s visually hesitant to return to Riverclan and when Longtail inquires on why he says that he hasn’t felt so “here” for a long time. On the way back he wanders off and comes back with a chipmunk, when returning to Riverclan territory his father, Mintfur, is shocked to see his catch. After talking with his family a bit he realizes that it was the noise from the river that was making him so tense and dissociated, Brackenfur, who was escorting him, notices that he keeps rubbing himself on the ground and wincing.

- For the next couple moons Grasspelt returned to Thunderclan to bring Briarlight plants that only grow in Riverclan territory, he begins trying to fish from the quite lazy stream in their territory and soon both him and Briarlight have got it down.

- Longtail notices the sadness present whenever Grasspelt left and exclaims that it’s rather stupid that he’s living somewhere so unsuited for him just because of words long repeated.

- Grasspelt confesses that he feels the same, but knew he wasn’t supposed to say anything. Briarlight tells Longtail that her and the Riverclan warrior had been thinking of each other as mates for moons.

- Longtail accompanies Jayfeather to the next half moon meeting where he proposes his addition to the warrior code, “no cat should be confined to laws which harm them due to an inherent physical or spiritual difference.” (Cats don’t really know how brains work, so they see mental disabilities as a difference within a cats spirit)

- A moon later the leaders meet to discuss this proposition, it is accepted and Grasspelt makes the journey to Thunderclan for the final time.

- Grasspelt is renamed Grassspirit when becoming a Thunderclan warrior, unlike prior renaming of disabled cats this is a celebration.

- Grassspirit spends most of his time taking care of the elders and kits, he’s incredibly compassionate especially with kits and is able to solve many problems within the nursery.

- When twigkit and Violetkit arrive in Thunderclan Briarlight and Grassspirit help raise them, after Violetkit is taken Briarlight and Twigkit paint her on the side of Thunderclan camp.

- Briarlight still gets sick and her illness progresses without any treatment, Grassspirit notices her trying to hide it and when Longtail finds out he’s very upset. Jayfeather frantically treats her, expressing his frustration that she didn’t tell them sooner, the second Millie steps out she breaks down and explains that she just wanted to deal with it herself, and perhaps if she were successful Millie would finally treat her like an adult.

- Longtail gives Millie a stern talking to, he tells her that Briarlight is a warrior of Thunderclan and as her clanmate she should show her some respect.

- Millie is inherently very reactionary, as she had not realized the full extent of her suffocation, but eventually after a couple moons her and Briarlight begin to rekindle their relationship, like adults.

- Blossomfall sees how Brairlight wasn’t basking in their mother’s attention like she imagined, and feels the urge to seek out an actual sisterhood after ignoring Briarlight for moons and moons.

- Briarlight isn’t really mad at her sister, and understands why she felt the way she did. Jayfeather suggests that Blossomfall help Briarlight with her painting, Blossomfall seems put off with the suggestion of being her sister’s assistant.

- The interactions that follow are less than ideal, Blossomfall commends Briarlight’s able friends (Thornclaw, Poppyfrost, Alderheart, etc) for being so nice to her, as if that’s not what friends do. She seems very sad the entire time, sighing when her sister dragged her legs around with her mouth to sit more comfortably, even though she was completely fine. When watching her paint she comments that it’s good she has “something to keep her busy”, and finally she expresses her view, of Briarlight’s injury and her (Blossomfall’s) suffering being all worth it because of her talents, as if her life was not worth living to begin with.

- Briarlight tells her that if that’s truly what she wants she’s going to have to put more effort into understanding and respecting her way of life, and that she won’t apologize for their mother’s actions.

- When Blossomfall has her kits they take a liking to Auntie Briarlight, and Blossomfall seems to have reflected on their past interactions, trusting her sister to watch her kits. Briarlight teases a bit, a subtle way of telling her not to rush things, but they do begin to feel like something close to sisters.

- Right before Briarlight’s Nieces and Nephews are made warriors Longtail dies of Greencough. Throughout the entirety of his sickness he kept his sense of humour, his mean streak, and his immense love for what he had made of his clan.

- At his vigil Grassspirit began whaling like a bird in new-leaf, he insists that the vigil is too sad, and that Longtail wouldn’t want everyone moping around, for Starclan’s sake, his life was good. Standing amongst them, Longtail’s spirit can feel every cat in Thunderclan standing around him, singing the song of a life well lived.

[kimthwariru]

Namjoon reaction—calling him a ‘friend’ when he clearly has a thing for you

❀genre: smut, a bit of fluff

❀collage au

(This was originally supposed to be a quick reaction but something happened to me and I couldn’t stop writing)

“Look, Jisoo, I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong” you flash a cheeky smile at your best friend. She’s being going on and on about how this Kim Namjoon guy had a thing for you.

You can’t lie, you’ve seen him around in campus and sometimes you’d wish he would suffocate you with these thighs of his. Ugh. The perfect combo, lean yet masculine physique with a brain that actually functions for a change. You’ve seen the way these collage girls were circling him around and you can’t blame them, the guy was a catch.

But he was not your crowd of people. He was outgoing, social and had loads of what you like to call “the lad friends”. You guessed his main activities were partying and getting shitfaced every night.

You’ve talked to him a couple of times. He uses the same bench as you to read now and then. You would eventually take sneak peeks at the books he was reading, check if he had any taste or not, and the result was always better than what you expected. This guy knew books. He was not just reading what was on the best seller’s that week to look sophisticated in front of others.

When he caught you peaking he’d started having small talk with you. You swear you’ve never experienced a better conversation flow with another human being. This guy screamed comfort. He seemed genuinely curious about the things you were saying. None of that painful act of pretending to be interested just because he wanted to get laid. You had been talking with him for a month straight and aside from a few moments of some what flirty looks his actions never suggested something more.

His aura was welcoming and he always paid attention to the little things. Unlike some other shallow guys out there, he felt…different.

But how different could he really be? You’ve seen the people he hangs out with. Kim Taehyung? He had a relationship with three girls at the same time. Didn’t even apologize for being the biggest jerk in history. You’ve heard Jung Hoseok’s body count was reaching a 3 digit number AND Jeon Jungkook once fucked 4 different girls at the same night.

Just thinking about it makes you sick. It pains you to admit but there’s only one truth to this. Even if Kim Namjoon was interesting, he was definitely a person you needed to stay away from. All the data point to a big fuckboy alert!

“Come on y/n…. If he wasn’t even in the slightest interested in you then why did he tell me explicitly that he wanted you to attend the party??”

“An invitation to a party doesn’t mean anything. Besides, I’m sure I’m not his style. Have you seen the type of girls he hangs out with? Yikes.”

Jisoo smirked at you “Oh, I see you’re stalking him now?”

You shake your head “Don’t be ridiculous! We take Econ together, that’s all. What? Am I supposed to cover my eyes every time I see him?”

“Maybe you should” Jisoo came closer to you “Y/n, we’re going to that party”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“This is a big mistake, I’ll get bored within the hour” You scream at Jisoo over the loud music.

“Don’t be a whiney ass and enjoy yourself for once” she handed you a drink.

Enjoy yourself for once. You and Jisoo’s definition of enjoying one self were clearly very different. You scan the room to look for any familiar faces you could talk to. Unfortunately, not a lot of your acquaintances attended frat parties.

Your head motion immediately pauses when you meet eyes with Namjoon across the garden. Was he looking at you this whole time? You feel your cheeks burn.

Initially, you don’t know how to react but eventually you flash him a small smile and focus back on Jisoo

“Kim Namjoon just gave me the biggest stare of all time” you say as you down your drink

“What!?” Jisoo’s eyes widened “This is the time where I say I told you so.”

You think for a second that maybe Jisoo was right all along. But that just makes the whole thing more dangerous for you. You can’t lie, Namjoon is attractive, but you knew he was trouble. Maybe he liked you today and then liked another girl tomorrow.

Suddenly, you feel a hand touch your shoulder “Hey y/n, Jisoo. Glad you guys made it” Namjoon’s low voice pierced your ears.

Jisoo gave you a look before replying to him “Hey!! We couldn’t miss such a night!” She smiled “right y/n??”

“Yeah!! Totally” you cheer kind of awkwardly.

Namjoon’s eyes fixed on you. You felt his stare eat you up. His whole presence felt angelic yet overwhelming. “Do you guys maybe want to join us? We’re sitting right by the pool”

“Oh! Sure, why not!” Jisoo answered almost immediately

You were walking towards the pool, Namjoon was pacing right next to you, he was so close to the point where you could sort of smell his cologne. You swear you could get drunk off his scent.

“I have to be honest, I didn’t think you’d actually come” He chuckled

“Are you disappointed?” You teased and raised an eyebrow.

You see a dimple smile making its appearance, how can this dude be so incredibly hot and cute at the same time? “I think pleasantly surprised would be the right way to put it”

Why do you feel like you can not breath? He hasn’t said much, yet you feel yourself burn up all of a sudden. “Good to know” you smile back.

“Joon! You have to see this” was the first thing Taehyung yelled when you arrived to the place where the guys were sitting “12 o’clock, Hobi making out with Mina from 3rd year. Can you believe it? After two years of trying to get it, he finally succeeds”

Of course the main talk is girls. No surprise there.

“Jungkook bitch, you owe me 20 bucks” Taehyung eyed Jungkook

Your expression screamed disgust. Apparently, Namjoon noticed “They are not as bad as they seem” he elbowed you.

You give him and awkward laugh “I’ll take your word for it” You lie.

“Guys, this is Jisoo and y/n. Can you stop trying to head lock each other and say hello? You’re embarrassing me” Namjoon introduced the pair of you to the boys who were still arguing about the bet. 

“Oh, hey girls.” Taehyung paused to inspect Jisoo’s face. “Hey, business and shipping? Ain’t it?”

“Oh, yeah, right!” Jisoo smiled

“Hyung aren’t you taking that class for like the third time? How many times can you fail you recon?” Jungkook teased him and Taehyung answered by giving him a slap on the shoulder.

“Hey y/n, do you want to go grab a drink? I think you’ll need it if you are to tolerate these guys” Namjoon offered.

“I trust you know best” you smile and quickly follow behind him. His shoulders wide and his muscles very visible even through his airy shirt. This guy was a whole statue.

“By the way, I’ve never seen you at parties before. I think I saw you once at the December ball but that’s about it. Not really a big fan of these kind of things, are you?” He suddenly said. You can’t really decode his words. How did Kim Namjoon know you even went to the December ball? You’re pretty sure you didn’t even talk to him that night.

“Interested in me much?” You give him a cheeky smile but he was just looking at you, a couple of seconds passed without him responding “I’m only joking! It’s true I don’t really attend these sort sort of things.”

“And what do you do for fun miss y/n?” He laughs and you swear if you could bottle the sound and get drunk on it you would.

“Oh you’ll think I’m lame”

“Try me” he said in a serious tone while starring right through your eyes. Suddenly, your body felt too heavy for your legs to bear. How can he get to you like that?

“Okay…” You start, him looking at you like that didn’t help control your train of thought, but you manage to get a hold of yourself “So you know that little corner cafe on willow street? Every Friday they have these comedy music nights. A guy-“

“Park Jihoon and the little funny guitar, yeah! I used to go there every Friday during my freshman years! Do they still do that old thing? I swear the pun with the atom never failed to make my day.” He started laughing again.

“Whoah what? You’re telling me you’ve been to the shrieking shack?” That place was a little treasure you’d found earlier this year. It was an amazingly cozy place, perfect during the cold winter time. The staff were all so kind and wore these big oversized colorful ties. But the people going there were all much older than you. You’ve never heard someone your age talk about that place. Let alone a person like Namjoon.

“Careful how you talk to a veteran y/n. I’ve basically helped to build the place” he chuckled.

“Y/n is that you?” A familiar voice greeted you.

“Jimin! Oh my god, hey! It’s been ages since I’ve seen you!” You hug him.

Jimin was a great soul, he majored in contemporary dance and ballet. He had been traveling for the past couple of years enrolling in some extra ballet classes in the magical city of Paris. You envied him for his talent and admired him for his passion.

“Girl, you have to come visit me. You’ll love Europe!”

“I would also LOVE to have some money in my wallet” you laugh “Oh Jimin, this is my friend, Namjoon. We go to collage together”

Namjoon gave you a look and soon after shook Jimin’s hand “What’s up. Nice to meet you”

“Nice to meet you too! But y/n, I’m so so sorry, I have to go. I was actually on my way out just now. I sort of uhm, have a thing-you know” he coughed “I’m leaving in two weeks, can we please meet before that?”

You knew Jimin was probably off to his ex boyfriends house. They broke up before Jimin left for Paris but every time he got back he’d have a couple of hookups with him. “Oh yeah! I bet you’ve got something very important right now, you better go quickly” you teased him “I’ll text you tomorrow, ok?”

Jimin laughed so much his eyes were barely visible “definitely! text me! I’ll be off then! Bye mister Kim Namjoon” he playfully said and was out of your sight a second later.

“You two seem…close” Namjoon suddenly commented

“Yeah! We were! But he has been studying abroad for like two years now.”

Namjoon’s facial expression was quite enigmatic “Did you guys ever… you know”

“Oh no no no.” You pause to make a small chuckle “Jimin isn’t exactly interested in, well, girls like me, or to be exact, girls in general”

Namjoon’s eyes widened and he immediately bursted into laughter “oh… I see” he made a pause “So tell me then, how come the old soul that never goes to parties finally attends one?”

You feel your cheeks burn red. Partly because the reason you went was him. You don’t know why, but the past month you and Namjoon hit it off very well and you wanted to test Jisoo’s crazy theory, you wanted to make sure for yourself if Namjoon was interested in you or not. Now the problem was, even if it turned out he did like you, you didn’t know what you’d do exactly. Namjoon was a really nice guy, but he didn’t come without his red flags.

“Just wanted to try something different, I guess”

“And how’s that 'different' treating you so far?”

What could you possibly tell him? That you have enjoyed every minute you guys have been talking? That you think that just by staring at you he could make you feel things no other guy could? You barely can admit all of that to yourself. “I think pleasantly surprised is the right way to put it” you repeat his words from before.

You see him smile at that. “You know what y/n? I’m really happy you came”

How can he make your heart beat so fast with just one sentence? “Oh really? And why is that?”

“I don’t know, I guess… I just like talking to you, you know? Whenever I’m around you I feel at ease, like I can tell you anything. I feel different when I’m with you, but in a good way”

“Wow” that sound escaped your lips without your consent

Namjoon laughed “Why? Is it too weird?”

“No! Definitely not weird, more like, I don’t know, surprising?”

“In what way?”

“Well you’re… Kim Namjoon, you’re the 2021 class president and you’re like the most popular guy in the whole campus right now.” You made a pause “And I’m just..-“

“The most interesting girl I’ve ever met” he cuts you off

The way he was looking down at you made butterflies grow in your stomach “You really think so?”

He gently grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him “I know so” he leaned down, you swear his eyes had the whole galaxy painted inside of them. You couldn’t even breath properly at this point. Kim Namjoon was too close and the only thing you were thinking about was how well his kiss would feel “God, you’re so beautiful” he said and pulled you in for a soft, gentle kiss.

You couldn’t believe your senses. Kim Namjoon was kissing you and you really thought the earth had stopped spinning right then and there. You could feel his big palms traveling up and down your back.

His kiss was breathless, jubilant, filled with the joy of life, and you should stop him, he is no good to you, you know that, but his scent is delightful and his lips are so warm.

Unconsciously, your hands reach the inside of his shirt. His skin hot and soft at the touch.

"y/n" he practically moans your name, and just the sound makes your knees go week "Don't do that, I don't think I'll be able to stop"

"Who said anything about stopping?" You say and go back to kiss him even more passionately this time.

“There’s a lot of people here, my room is upstairs, would you perhaps want to-“

“Yes.” You immediately say. You don’t care about anything anymore, you’d let your future self deal with the consequences of today’s actions. The only thing that has been lingering in your mind is how good he’d feel inside of you.

The moment you’re finally alone in his room, he lifts you up, swinging you around and kissing you. It was like a dream. Namjoon was everything you wanted. Your reluctance about getting with him didn’t matter any more, the tingly feeling in your stomach overtook every single bit of hesitation you had. You needed him.

“God, you’re lovely” he exhaled

He looks at you as he sinks you down on the bed. Planting a soft kiss before his hands quickly begun to peel away clothes, yanking his belt loose, fumbling hurriedly at his trousers.

You look at his lips tracing your skin and the faint moisture left behind, you look at his muscly arms as he lifts you up and sinks you down again, you look at him looking at you, with eyes brighter than the sun itself. Was this all a dream?

When your dress was finally off he undoes your bra clasp on the way down. Slowly planting kisses on your collarbone, the tops of your breasts, your sternum, and you arched you back as you were needy for more.

His lips finally reach your nipples .Your boobs smooth under his hands, your nipple firm under his tongue, and there, that makes you squirm again, a little more insistently this time.

“Fuck, I’m so fucking wet right now, I feel it” You moan

You see him raise an eyebrow. A vivid smirk painted on his face “Let’s check, shall we?”

He splays his hand low across your belly, and the first brush of his thumb over your clit makes you breathe in sharply and him forget to breathe at all.

“I’m your friend?” He breaths in, his voice dangerously low

“Oh come on” You manage to say in between moans “what was I supposed to tell Jimin?”

His strokes and flicks are light and teasing, his thumb carefully circling around your clit. He gives you a slow, constant, unyielding pressure that makes your breath come up short, makes your toes curl in the effort not to move.

“I’m gonna fuck the word ‘friend’ right out of your pretty little mouth” he covers your mouth with an intense kiss before slipping two fingers of his free hand inside of you, and you makes a noise like triumph and want all wrapped up together. If his fingers felt like this, you can’t imagine how his dick felt like.

“Hmm?” He doesn’t look up, he keeps his eyes on his hands, on you, spread out beneath him “You like that baby?”

God, just the way the word 'baby' sounded coming from his mouth could make you come right this second. You look at him, his eyes look as hungry as his voice sounded. This dude was out of this world.

“Please Namjoon, I want it, I want you inside of me right now”

Namjoon lowered his underwear, and simply pressed his hard member on your slit. You could feel his balls softly caressing your clit as he made subtle movements while kissing you. “Such a needy little thing” he teases “Tell me how bad you want my cock inside of you”

“Oh..” you moan “I’d do anything, please…give it to me… fuck me like you own me” you whined as you used your pussy to caress his length up and down. He seemed to enjoy they way you touched him.

“Fuck y/n… that feels so good” he rests his forehead on yours.

“Imagine what my inside will feel then” you whisper in his ear “I’m such a tight good girl” you move your mouth in front of his, bitting his bottom lip as he growled when he felt your movement grow faster

“Fucking hell” he immobilized your body with his hands and pressed you down to the bed. He immediately shoves his dick inside you, filing you up to the brim before staying there for a couple of seconds and then pulling out completely. That movement made your vagina crave to be filled all the way up again.

“More” you whine, a dopey expression all over your face. You were so needy of him, but you didn’t care.

He lowered his left hand towards your thigh and gave it a big squeeze, kissing you aggressively while doing so. He quickly braced himself back into you, you felt your walls completely wrap around his member. It felt magical.

His strokes long and steady in the beginning. Every time he went in and out completely you felt the pit of your stomach burn in pleasure. Namjoon was doing everything right, you can’t lie to yourself, this is the best sex you’ve ever had. Normally with other guys you don’t even come close to coming, but now, you feel yourself trying not to do so.

“You like my dick being inside of you baby?” He plants a small kiss on your neck and goosebumps run down your spine.

‘Like’ was nowhere near good enough of a word to explain how much the sensation of him thrusting his hard member in and out of you made you feel. “I love it Namjoon… I just love it…”

Your words must’ve turned Namjoon even more on, because his pace immediately started becoming faster and sloppier. Every time your skin touched a loud sound could be heard. Namjoon was thrusting deeper and deeper into you, and every time he’d fill you up completely you’d cry out his name.

“Ah, I like my name so much better when you fucking moan it like that” he says and started shoving his dick inside of you like crazy. You could tell he was close to coming, and so were you.

It wasn’t long until you felt your walls clenching and your toes curling. The sensation overtook all of your body, it was mad… your heart beat uncontrollable. Namjoon made you feel a completely new range of emotions.

“Ah y/n, I can feel you cumming all over my dick” his voice cracky, You could see how turned on he was by all of this, by you. “Fuck” he shoved harder “You’re so” harder “fucking hot”

Namjoon stopped and pulled out immediately spreading his cum all over your tummy. The sight was breathtaking, you’ve never found a man so attractive while coming before, but then, Namjoon is no ordinary man.

He quickly grabs a couple of tissues and wipes you clean before laying on top of you again, placing another soft kiss this time. His hand playing with your hair. You were both naked and sweaty and a mess but it felt so magical. You wrapped your hands around his broad shoulders, pulling him even closer to you. You didn’t want even a centimeter of distance between you and him.

He suddenly stopped kissing you and simply stared at your eyes. After a minute or two, or maybe three, you're not really sure, time didn't exist right now, he tacked a string of hair behind your left ear.

“Y/n, let me take you on a date. Please. I know you don’t normally go out with guys like me, but I swear I’ll make it worth your while-“

“Park Jihoon and the little funny guitar. How does that sound? Or are you too good for the shrieking shack now?” You chuckled

“I’d love that” he smiled, making your heart melt a little.

[tharros-auris-black-asimi]

Lay All Your Love on Me (Chapter 7) (Part 1)

Paring: Soft Dark Alpha Lee Bodecker x Female Omega Reader

Summary: After moving to Knockemstiff, Ohio with your troubled parents, you find solace in the local Seven-Eleven. There, you bump into the Alpha sheriff, Lee Bodecker.

And then you keep bumping into him. There's just something about the chubby Alpha that keeps drawing you in. Now there's something going on with the new preacher of the church that you attend. Everything's a mess.

But you're an unbonded Omega. Life can turn to shit anyway.

Chapter Warnings: This chapter opens with Lenora's post-rape. Mentions of sexual coercion, as well as cheating from Preston's end. Unplanned pregnancy via rape is mentioned here too. Mentions of serial killers, and Carl just being downright creepy. Anger issues from the Reader, as well as gun violence and death threats. There's also another character death in here, so we're keeping count of the body count, lol. Some possessive behavior from Alpha Daddy. I've been writing him as soft!dark, but in this chapter and the next one, he's gonna be full-on dark. Maybe a tiny smidge of fatphobia in this one? Like a small smidge. A blink and you'll miss type of smidge. Just to cover all of my bases.

Additional Notes: I am so, so sorry for how long it took for me to update this on Tumblr. I usually update this fic on my AO3 first before I update it on here. But, since I split this chapter into two, it took longer than I thought. So this will just be part one, and part two should follow quickly!

Please read the chapter warnings before continuing with this chapter, as this chapter and the following chapter will have some disturbing themes. I want this to be a safe space for everyone. And, if you're a minor, please do not interact. Thank you!

I also have a series taglist for this series now, so if you'd like to be added to just the series taglist, let me know!

Word Count: 3, 370

Two days before your annual visit... with Lenora in the afternoon

Lenora Laferty was crouched over the toilet seat in the girl’s bathroom, vomiting her guts out.

Sick.

She had been feeling sick for the past week.

She didn’t know what had caused this. Lenora had woken up every single morning for the past week with an urge to puke her guts out.

Emma and Arvin had been getting used to the sounds of puking in the morning.

It was becoming alarming.

Emma was fully ready to ask if she had been frolicking around with an Alpha.

But she hadn’t, because she had gotten so busy.

Later though, she would ask.

Now, now though, Lenora continued to puke her guts out.

Her Omega had been very vocal this past week. Screeching. Throwing a fit. Screaming and shouting at her, due to the changes coming in her body.

She hadn’t wanted this.

She had wanted none of this.

Lenora’s Omega had screamed and shouted when Lenora had entered Preston’s car. Her screaming had become louder when the disgusting Alpha, (married too, she should add), kissed her. She had thanked some fucking being up there when Lenora had pulled away, stammering and saying that he was married.

Oh. And he was married, did Lenora’s Omega mention that?

Yeah.

Mhmm.

The Preacher was married.

He had a bite mark on his neck.

Preston Teagardin had an Omega for a wife. No pups, though. From what the church gossip said, he only got an Omega because Omegas were easier to control. His Omega wife had been a young, defenseless thing. It was horrible, what Preston Teagardin did behind her back. He had raped a young Omega who had just presented in his car, and who was currently vomiting her guts out in her school bathroom.

Lenora’s Omega remembered how much she had pleaded, begged him to stop whatever he was doing to her because she was currently sweating so much. Beads of sweat rolling down her temples as her Heat made her scent riper. Lenora had remembered saying, pleading, crying out so many no’s. She had pleaded with the Preacher that all she wanted was to make the pain go away. All she wanted was the pain to go away.

“I’ll help take the pain away,”   he had told her.

What he had done to her had been way worse.

Lenora had been pleading, nay, begging him no. No, no, no, no, no. All she wanted was some toys to help her out. She’d take them and go back to the Russell household to due with her Heat herself. Her pleading had turned desperate when she saw his wedding ring on his hand. She knew he was married. He knew he was married. It was a sin. Why was he doing this? To her? All she had wanted was for him to leave her alone. To stop looking at her, sniffing at her like she was something he could eat. Like a predator in the shadows, waiting to pounce on their prey.

And he had.

Oh yes, he had.

Lenora had remembered screaming until he had put a hand across her mouth. Flipped her over onto her stomach. Her Omega had been so busy screaming and throwing a fit in her mind that she didn’t register him pulling her dress up, yanking down her underwear, where she had slapped on a thick Slick Pad.

“No,”   She had been begging again, “Please Preacher- you’re… you’re married. This ain’t right.”

“It’s okay. No one has to know.”

There was a moment of hesitation.

Preston had taken that slight beat of silence as a yes.

Lenora had screamed again.

The brunette, young Omega had lifted up her head from the toilet bowl. The urge to vomit was still there.

Never had she ever felt this sick.

He had violated her body. Taken a piece of her that she could never get back.

Now, Lenora’s Omega was fully convinced, that she was pregnant with this fucker’s pup.

Lenora could feel the bile rise up to her throat again. She vomited into the bowl again.

Her scent of cherries and vanilla was burning. Making her eyes water.

Not to mention her Omega was throwing the biggest hissy fit known to man.

Her Omega wanted blood.

She wanted justice.

But now…

Now...

Everything had gone wrong.

Everything had been utterly ruined.

At the same time in Knockemstiff with you and Lee...

Carl was staring at you.

Actually, he had been interested in you ever since he came here.

Why would his brother-in-law be with someone like you?

It perked his interest.

So he watched you.

All the while your eyes were completely focused on the TV.

When Carl had been young, he never really stood out in crowds. He was always awkward. He discovered a love for photography when he had been young. He had been the only Beta in his family. His father had been an Alpha, his mother an Omega, his sister an Omega, and his brother an Alpha. His parents had always favored his brother over him, even though he had been the eldest.

With all the things at home… he never felt any happiness.

Photography slowly became his comfort.

The first time he had killed someone was when he had been in his early twenties. A simple knife through the neck incident.

It had also been his first picture.

Carl… Carl couldn’t begin to explain the euphoria that had run through him then.

Like a switch had flipped.

He had found his calling.

His true calling.

And when he had married Sandy, he had made it his life’s work.

Every murder, every picture… it was like a piece of heaven. Like Carl was close to those pearly white gates. Almost as if he was being baptized and made holy.

The Beta man had always used his Omega wife as bait to lure in his victims. Omegas had naturally sweeter scents. Easier to lure in prey. Carl never had an issue with his wife getting all of the men. Alphas or Betas. He knew male Omegas didn’t exist. Just like female Alphas. So, he didn’t mind that his Omega wife did the bulk of the work.

Until now.

Knowing how good Omegas smelled, it didn’t surprise him by how good you smelled either.

But you?

You smelled really, really, really good.

Even better than Sandy.

You smelled like chocolate chip cookies. Freshly baked. As if he had just pulled them out of the oven.

And your gland.

There was Lee’s bite mark on your neck. Showing the entire county who was your Alpha. Who you belonged to. Carl had noticed Lee’s bite on his gland from you looked to be there longer. Almost like you had bitten him first.

How peculiar.

In your society of Alphas, Omegas, and Betas, it was very unusual for Omegas to bite first. The majority of the time, it was Alphas who bit first. Omegas who bit first were considered unnatural. Unheard. Just like female Alphas or male Omegas. Not only that, it was considered taboo for Omegas to bite first.

So why the hell did Lee allow you, a normal, boring Omega to bite first?

It puzzled him.

For the first time in his life, he didn’t want to murder you.

For the first time in his life, he was jealous of his wife.

His wife always got her boy toys, why couldn’t he get his own babydoll for once?

Why not be greedy and have his own turn this time?

He inched closer to you. Scooted over just a bit. It made you stop.

You did not trust Carl.

Not one bit.

No.

Nope.

Nada.

Your eyes were narrowed. From where you were seated in the living room, you could still feel his stare. You were sitting on the couch. The furthest away from the Beta.

Oh no.

You were not going to sit next to him. Sandy, maybe. But Carl?

Absolutely not.

You were not sitting next to that man. That damn Beta smelled like rotten cabbage soup. You’d rather die than sit next to him.

The TV was still playing. Playing something. Maybe a sitcom? You didn’t know. Maybe it was I Love Lucy.

You had never wanted to flee from a room faster in your life. Sandy was with Lee, and you heard some conversation as they had walked through the front door. Because of their shopping trip. Bags full of groceries. You had seen Lee smile at his younger sister and laugh, his tummy shaking. It had made you smile. Having his sister here with his Omega, his Bondmate… it was good for him. Very good. He had been happier than ever.

Your mother was next door. Talking to the neighbors. You suspected she just wanted to play nice.

But you were not going to play nice with this Beta.

No.

Never.

You were not.

You would not be nice to this man. You could fake a smile and pretend to be nice, but the next time you would see him, you were going to grab your shotgun that Lee pretended you didn’t have under your bed and chase him around the house with it.

Just in case.

Although your mood was a bit better, considering tomorrow, you and your mother would be going to visit Lenora and Arvin. You missed them. You hadn’t called them in weeks.

Sandy and Lee were still unpacking the food when you had gotten up stiffly, not even sparing a look towards Carl.

Lee saw you walking into the kitchen.

His smile dropped at the sight of the sour look on your face.

Sandy watched as you grabbed the phone and spun the dial.

Spin. Spin. Spin.

Spin. Spin. Spin.

Putting the phone near your ear, you waited.

There was a shuffling noise on the other line before you heard a familiar voice.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Emma? It’s me.”

“Oh! Hello dear. Arvin’s here, would you like to talk to him?” Emma’s voice trailed off. “Uh-huh,” you were nodding, your voice low, “I’d like to talk to him.”

Him? Who was him?

Lee and Sandy stopped with the groceries.

There was a shuffling noise again and you heard her shout.

“Arvin! Get over here! Someone’s on the phone wantin’ ya!”

Lee froze.

His jaw clenched.

“… Hey! Why haven’t you been callin’ the house? Lenora presented!” came Arvin’s voice from the other line.

You blinked.

Clearly taken aback.

“O-Oh…” More blinking, “Lenora presented? What’d she present as? Omega? Beta?”

Sandy Henderson felt her world stop. Or freeze. Like one of those record scratches on a sitcom before the episode would rewind back to its proper place.

All of a sudden, she remembered Roy Laferty’s words before he died.

Lenora. Her name is Lenora. She’s my daughter.

“… Yeah, but she’s been actin’ real funny lately. Ya think you could talk to her when you and your Ma come to see us?” Arvin’s voice from the other line brought both Sandy and Lee back.

You were nodding.

“I mean, Omega to Omega. I love her and all, she’s my little sister, but I ain’t an Omega, ya know?” Arvin said.

“Mhmmmm… I get it…. Yeah… I’ll talk to her when we get there… uh-huh… I miss you too��� uh-huh… yeah… yes… I’m on my best behavior Arvin… no I’m not causin’ no trouble… I ain’t like you and your angry ass… naw… naw… shut up and smoke ya damn square Russell… mhmmm… yeah… got someone that I’d like you to meet one of these days Arvin… he’s my Alpha… love him so much…”

Sandy saw the corners of Lee’s lips curl up into a smile at that.

He was in love.

Her Big Brother was in love. She watched him come from behind you, walking towards you and gently put his hands on your shoulders, gently pushing you back towards him. She could see him bend his head down a little and rub his nose against your gland, making you giggle and squeal. Sandy saw you, watched as a smile came over your face. Your entire face lit up as you looked at your Alpha, who was deeply chuckling at your response.

There was an aching in her heart. Watching you and Lee interact was what she had wanted with Carl. A normal, loving husband. And she had that in the first few years of her marriage. Sandy had almost felt like a princess with her prince charming. Carl had been so charming.

And then the murders started happening.

Sandy had vomited the night before they had driven up to her Big Brother’s house. First, she had taken a shower and cried in it before she had actually vomited, puked her guts out into the toilet.

She had never suspected, nor expected her life to turn out like this.

She had never thought one day that she would be marrying a fucking serial killer.

No. Never.

“… Okay! Okay, yes! Okay. Bye.”

You hung up gleefully. Turning to Lee, you saw him looking so amused.

“Ya gotta stop doin’ that Lee, you’re too distractin’,” you scolded him playfully. Clearly amused, “Oh really?” Your Alpha even had his eyebrow cocked and everything. “Me? Distracting? Never sugar. I’m a good Bondmate. I always give my babydoll the space she needs.” He defended himself playfully. You just rolled your eyes. Looking at your sister-in-law, you spoke.

“Was he always like this growin’ up?” you questioned her. Sandy snorted. “Even worse,” she said solemnly with a nod. Lee just pouted.

“Gangin’ up on me. My little sister and my Omega. I’ll never forgive you two for this.”

Giggles filled the kitchen as you and Sandy snickered.

“What’re you makin’ for lunch?”

Just like that, the entire mood had shifted.

Lee had noticed you had tensed up from where you were in his arms.

Your Omega was alarmed.

Beta.

Smelly Beta is here.

Nasty Beta.

Like the church incident where you had seen the Preacher, you stiffened up. It was like you and your Omega had become one. Like you knew what the other person was thinking. In perfect sync.

Lee made eye contact with Sandy.

And then his gaze came over to his brother-in-law.

Carl was looking at you.

Lee was reminded of those leery looks other Alphas used to give his sister when they used to be young pups. Leery, predatory looks. Almost like his younger sister was something to be eaten.

Like now.

“… Lee and I bought some tomatoes. We might just make tomato soup with grilled cheese.” shrugged Sandy.

Sandy spoke your name.

You blinked.

“Lee was tellin’ me bout that book you were readin’… I haven’t been to the library in a while. You wanna go? After lunch?”

At her suggestion, you slowly nodded. Like you were coming out of a fog.

“Yeah… yeah… sounds great. Gonna go down to the Seven-Eleven, D-Lee, you want your usual?”

You had nearly slipped up.

“Yeah,” Lee said, his eyes still trained on Carl, “Yeah, that sounds good, Omega.”

“Okay.”

He pressed a kiss on the top of your head. His keys clinked together as he slipped the keys to his cruiser into your pocket. Happily humming, you said to Sandy, “Lemme get my heels on. Then we can go. Lee, ya left ya Pepsi cup in the car again… can you bring it inside to wash it?”

Nods came from your Alpha. A happy hum came from you. Maybe even a smile. Mood temporarily raised, you made your way into Lee’s room to grab your shoes.

Lee was now looking at you as you bounced down the hallway, the mere thought of slushies always putting you in a happier mood. Blue eyes continued to watch you and Sandy, watching intensely as the two of you walked to his cruiser. He saw you say something to his sister before rolling your eyes.

It was when he realized why you were rolling your eyes.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Never had Lee spud to you so fast.

You were already rolling your eyes again.

“Lee,” you were saying, “did ya forgot?” You made hand gestures to the cup that was still in the car. The chubby Alpha cursed under his breath and accepted the cup from you. Cup now in his hands. Even knowing that the two of you did indeed have an audience. He couldn’t help himself. His arms went around you, making the familiar scent of your Alpha waft into your nose. It made your Omega sigh in content. And then, and then when he dipped his head down, his tongue licking, pressing down on your gland, scenting you, reminding everyone in this godforsaken county who the hell you belonged to, you melted.

Sandy’s eyes were watering. Due to the intense phenomenons, her Big Brother was giving off. Eventually, Lee lifted his head up. His eyes were dark. That dark, deep, possessive feeling all wedged and shoved down part of him satisfied.

At least for now.

Now, now, he could look down at you. Down at the mating gland that showed his bite.

“I’ll get you your usual. Cherry?”

“Yes.”

A thrill ran down your spine.

“Okay. We’ll be back-”

The sounds of the car opening and closing were heard.

“C’mon!” came Sandy’s shout from the passenger’s seat, “We gotta still come back to make lunch!”

You turned back to look at Lee.

“Go, Omega.” He told you. With one last kiss on the top of your head, you waved at your Alpha before getting into the driver’s seat.

Only after watching you drive off with his sister to the Seven-Eleven did Lee walk back inside, Pepsi cup gripped in his hand.

And when the door closed behind him, it was too late.

Lee Bodecker had been too quick for the brunet Beta man. A pudgy hand came to wrap around Carl's throat, and the man was shoved back. Right up against the wall. His small brown eyes widening in fear.

The first time Carl had met Lee, he had snickered to himself, looking at the Alpha who was his girlfriend’s older brother.

Lee had long made peace with himself, that he didn’t look like every other Alpha he knew. Or had known in his youth.

He knew he had rolls. He knew his tummy stuck out and jiggled. That his face was chubbier and less chiseled than it had been when he was younger. He saw those stretch marks on his stomach, on his thighs that used to be red, but were now faded and looked like lightning bolts etched onto his pale, milky skin.

Lee had given no shits, that everyone probably thought of him as the fat Alpha. His body type did not bother him in the slightest. Nor did it bother you. In fact, whenever the two of you were in his bed together, you had always cuddled up to him. Soft, sweet little murmurs and mumbles about how squishy he felt around you, how he kept you so warm. The way he’d wrap his big, strong arms around you, keeping you feeling so safe and warm. Like a warm blanket.

Carl Henderson did not know this Lee.

Nor was he used to it.

This Lee… his part of his brother-in-law that Lee kept so deeply buried… this piece of darkness which bubbled to the surface.

Carl wasn’t used to his.

Lee’s blue eyes were pure black. He looked almost like he was in a Rut. His scent of chocolate bourbon burned, making Carl have a headache.

The Alpha didn’t even need to try to pick him up.

There was a slamming noise.

“She’s mine.”

Lee’s Alpha was seething.

“You don’t look at her. You don’t talk to her. You don’t sit next to her.”

Carl’s nose was burning. He coughed. His eyes watered.

Lee’s expression on his face looked downright murderous.

“If I see or hear you harmed a fuckin’ hair on her head, I will fuckin' kill you.”

The burning urge to just put a fucking bullet through Carl's head came, rushed through him again.

His mind was completely made up.

Carl needed to die.

Carl was going to die tonight.

Taglist: @greeneyedblondie44, @bxnnywriting

Series taglist: @queensIvy

[solena2]

So.

Tommy isn’t Theseus. Every time I see Techno’s analogy about Tommy being Theseus brought up I’m filled with endless rage and I’ve DECIDED!

That it’s about time I explained just why it’s so objectively incorrect.

-

First: a bit of backstory on Theseus, because I doubt many of you actually know much about him beyond what Techno said in his “so you want to be a hero” speech, which left out a lot of relevant details.

Theseus was a demigod with two fathers and one mother. His fathers were king Aegeus of Athens and the sea god Poseidon, and his mother was Aethra, Aegeus’ wife. Aethra raised Theseus on her own, far from Athens to avoid him being assassinated.

Aegeus left him nothing but a sword with the Athenian crest and a pair of sandals, buried under a rock so no one else could get them.

When Theseus came of age, he took the sword and sandals and headed up to Athens, slaying various monsters along the way. (It pains me to abbreviate it that much, but Techno left out everything before the Minotaur so it won’t help me much in debunking his analogy.)

Once he got to Athens, he met up with his dad, chased out his stepmom Medea, (yes, that Medea) and killed some people. Then comes the relevant part.

Crete had won a war against Athens a while back, and because of this, every seven years Athens was forced to send 14 tributes to be killed by the Minotaur. (Yes, this inspired the Hunger Games)

Theseus decided he’d volunteer and kill the Minotaur, thus ending the tribute system for good and getting one over on Athens. He promised his dad that if he won, he’d come back in a ship with white sails, as opposed to the standard mourning black that signified the death of the tributes.

So he went to Crete, met king Minos and his daughters Ariadne and Phaedra, and got sent into the labyrinth. Ariadne gave him a magic ball of string that kept him from getting lost, allowing him to find the Minotaur and then safely get out afterwards, providing he could kill it.

He killed it, led his other 13 tributes out, and sailed back home. On the way, Athena told him to leave Ariadne stranded on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, so he immediately did so, because Theseus was an asshole.

He got home, his dad committed suicide because Theseus forgot the white sails and his dad assumed he’d died, Theseus became king and married Phaedra, and then the fun began, because again, Theseus was an asshole.

First, he cheated on Phaedra with Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons, so she left and took the kids. Next, he and his other asshole friend Pirithous decided to kidnap themselves some new wives. Theseus decided on Helen of Troy, who was a child at the time, and Pirithous decided on Persephone, which resulted in both him and Theseus getting stuck in the Underworld for a while due to pissing off Hades.

Once he got back up, he killed his son for fucking his wife, which is messed up on many levels, and then left Athens because his people were rightfully not super okay with that.

Then he goes and meets Lycomedes, who throws him off a cliff.

-

Next, let’s talk about Techno’s speech a bit.

He starts off by accusing Tommy of being a power hungry dictator (paraphrased), before asking him if he wants to be a hero.

Then, he provides what is apparently the archetypal example of heroism, something often associated with selflessness, kindness, and generally giving at least one singular solitary fuck about other people.

Theseus! Heroic hero who does heroic things, like, uhhh *checks notes* cheating on his wife, kidnapping children with plans to forcefully marry them, leaving people alone on tiny islands with no supplies, killing his kid, etc. etc...

So we’re off to a great start.

Then, he gives a short summary of Theseus’ life and times! He skips the first part of his life completely, which is hilarious to me because it’s the only time Theseus ever did anything actually heroic or selfless, and gets straight to the meat!

“Let me tell you a story, Tommy. A story of a man called Theseus. His country was in danger, he sent himself forward! Into enemy lines. He slayed the Minotaur! And saved his city. You know what they did to him, Tommy? They exiled him. He died in disgrace, despised by his people. That’s what happens to heroes, Tommy.”

-Technoblade

So first off, he doesn’t mention... really anything other than the Minotaur and the exile, which is leaving out a lot of relevant details, like why Theseus was exiled. (You know, killing his son in cold blood?)

Second, he doesn’t give details in general. Not that he should’ve given a full telling, or anything, but I’m always surprised by the shortness of this speech when I go back and listen to it. He pretty much just gives the barest bones of an argument and expects his audience to take it at face value. (Which they do, but it’s still bad practice)

From the more accurate (if still brief) summary if Theseus’ life I’ve just given, I’m sure you can see why this might be more than a bit dubious, as an analogy. Given cc!Technoblade is literally an English major, and doubtless knows significantly more about the myth than I do, I’d imagine this was never intended to be taken at face value.

Over and over again, c!Techno proves himself to be an unreliable narrator, and over and over again, the fandom at large takes his word as gospel.

-

Now, as far as a more in depth argument for Tommy as Theseus goes, I will attempt to debunk that as well, because there are some genuinely good points to be made.

First of all, most people make Dream out to be the Minotaur. Given the time this speech was made, I imagine Schlatt was the intended target of that, but with latter events in mind, Dream does make much more sense.

I’d say this is honestly pretty fair, but I don’t think Tommy takes the role of Theseus in that narrative. I’d argue he’s much more analogous to the role of Ariadne, giving the tools required to defeat Dream but ultimately not doing so through his own power, but because someone chose to take those tools and make use of them. This also provides the very interesting characterization of Punz as Theseus, which is an incredibly unique take that I hope some a Punz enthusiast does something with, because I don’t know enough about his lore to make a good analysis on that.

The idea of Schlatt as the Minotaur, as was probably intended by Techno at the time, makes much more sense, though I still think other characters fit the role better. Firstly, Schlatt wasn’t killed, he died of a heart attack, and if someone had killed him I think it’s more likely to have been Wilbur or Techno who did it than Tommy, as Tommy was still very hopeful and idealistic at the time, at least compared to his character now. You could posit Tommy as Ariadne again in this situation, given he was the one to mastermind the final charge, and though I think Tommy as Ariadne is an idea that’s worth further exploration, I’d say Fundy futs the Ariadne role here much better, with him giving the spy’s diary before being effectively shunned and left out in the cold by both Pogtopia and Manburg, much like Ariadne was abandoned in the original myth.

I’d posit the Theseus in this scenario as Techno, Wilbur, or possibly Philza, as they were the ones to actually kill things in the 16th, though Techno and Wilbur’s killings were more in the metaphorical sense, taking the second life of L’manburg.

As for the exile, Tommy exile was alike to that of Theseus only in concept. Both were sent from their kingdoms for a crime, resulting in a falling out with someone close to them, and had a precarious relationship with heights while they were gone, but that’s about where the similarities end and even then they’re superficial.

First of all, Tommy’s exile was far more because Dream was looking for an excuse to do it than because briefing actually means anything on the SMP, given how Dream had been griefing bases and blaming Tommy for it for a while before it went down. (Fun fact, Bad and Skeppy were going to burn one of his discs over this, but one of them got sick so they had to cancel the stream.)

Theseus’ exile, on the other hand, was entirely deserved, especially when you consider how serious a crime killing family was in Ancient Greek culture. It was pretty much the biggest no-no in existence, and I’m almost surprised he wasn’t just straight up executed for it.

Second, Tommy’s falling out with Tubbo was almost entirely due to outside forces, (Dream) rather than because anything Tommy had done. Though Tommy’s cavalierness towards the trial and attempts to threaten Dream with Spirit doubtless didn’t help things, Dream surrounding L’manburg in obsidian walls and threatening them to exile Tommy was entirely his own choice, and not something that can be pinned on Tommy, no matter what the apologists may say.

Meanwhile, Theseus’ falling out with Phaedra had begun long before his exile with him cheating on her. Him killing his son was merely the last in a long line of dominos to completely destroy their relationship.

Last, Tommy nearly killing himself is very different from Theseus being pushed off a cliff. Tommy’s near suicide was the direct result of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of c!Dream for what was canonically, I believe, several months? (Correct me if I’m wrong on that one.) Tommy almost jumping off a pillar because he was deliberately isolated from his support systems is nothing like Theseus being killed because he was a cocky asshole who thought he was god.

-

So that’s why I don’t think Tommy is anything like Theseus, and why I’m filled with endless rage by the completely uncritical acceptance of this parallel, but it’s not the whole reason it pisses me off.

It also pisses me off because, as stated earlier, cc!Techno is an English major. He knew what he was doing with this. The fandom’s insistence on refusing to acknowledge his character as an unreliable narrator is, in my opinion, acting as a massive kneecap to what could be a great analysis of how he thinks.

Specifically: why does c!Technoblade think Tommy is like Theseus?

Of all the Greek heroes to pick, why that one? Was it just the tantalizing opportunity to parallel Schlatt with a horned monster, or was it because c!Techno has some genuine in-character reason to think this myth specifically applies to Tommy.

Now, we all know people in the SMP have a habit of analogizing Wilbur and Tommy. The assumption Tommy wanted to be president, the belief that Tommy nominated Tubbo directly, the belief that he was intentionally deceiving Techno about Pogtopia’s intentions regarding Manburg... all of these stem from Wilbur. There are more cases of this, of course, but several analyses have been done in the subject already, and this is long enough without more padding.

So why does Techno think Tommy is Theseus? Well, it’s simple, isn’t it?

Wilbur is Theseus.

To be continued, because this is already too long and my brain hurts.

[blazichu]

#catch me rattling on about GG pt 2 for paragraphs

Please continue when you can. I love your reading your analysis!

Apparently I'm incapable of looking over one half of Good Genes without doing the other, so I guess we get a double feature tonight:

Part 1:

I am, of course, contractually obligated to point out my favorite line from the cold open: "My friend Donatello is one of the gentlest souls I've met, with one of the finest minds I've ever known." It seems especially relevant since, later on, Stockman reduces Don to "The smart one"

One thing I noticed this run through is that Leo's speech is slightly different than usual this arc. My favorite is his response to "It's only a matter of time before [Don] is lost forever"; his tone changes dramatically between the two halves of his line, "That's not gonna happen" and "We can't let that happen." The first is his usual 'decisive leader' voice, but the second has this kind of worried warble to it. It's great, and Sinterniklaas gets an A+

Of course there's the breakfast sequence. I don't really have much that hasn't already been said about it, but there's something sweet and sad about how Mike says that he "Just wanted to give him some food". It's just so little, a basic need that he's trying to fill because he cares, and it goes so wrong so fast.

My fourth point is kiiiinda weird and a stretch, but I've always loved the way Outbreak (as an arc) sets up so many bits and pieces that pay off specifically in AiTS/GG. It's usually stuff Don's been working on-- like the trapper gear, the tunnel to April's, or Stockman's helicopter. It's just neat, kind of setting up how indispensable Don's presence really is if he's able to help without being mentally present.

Anyway, right back to Leo and line delivery. The other part of this is that he keeps hesitating and grasping for the right words when it comes to what happened to Don. He refuses to put a name to it when he tells everyone that the helicopter was the last thing Don was working on, "[...] before... Before."

There's also "Don got infected. He's been transformed into... into a monster."

This is something I've definitely written about before, but idk if I ever posted it. Don's behavior after arriving at Area 51 is remarkably intelligent. He's able to use the guards' taser sticks against one another to get free, take out Leatherhead while he has the element of surprise (notable in that Leatherhead was the biggest threat/the one to subdue him in AiTS), turns on Stockman (who was responsible for the transfer in the first place), uses the glass from the containment unit as a shield, and actively prevents Splinter from doing whatever mind thing he did earlier. It's a far cry from lashing out and snapping wildly, and I've always thought it was interesting.

And the tranquilizer scene. Honestly, I find it kind of hard to watch, but I do like the way Leo kneels down next to Don after he's knocked out.

Part 2

I'm gonna talk about cold opens again, because I just realized that this episode essentially begins and ends with the same message: "It's an impossible mission, but what can we do? Our brother is sick, and there's nothing we won't do to save him."

So. The really cool thing about Good Genes Part 2 is how much it directly highlights the lack of Don's presence without actually saying as much. Raph splits off to handle the technology (albeit in an explosive manner) and is seen hauling the duffelbag around. Leo has the headset and is coordinating with April throughout the mission. Which leads me to...

One of the major set pieces in this episode is a callback: the obstacle hallway, Mystic chamber and elevator from Return to New York. I don't think it was an intentional connection, but part of their plan involves repurposing a mech suit to use against the Foot, which is exactly what Don did with Stockman's robotic body in Return. This bulletpoint is 100% me finding meaning where there probably wasn't any, but still.

This one's slightly off topic, but I've said before that I thought it was a dumb decision to have Leo confirm to Karai that the rest of his family was alive and well at the end of Prodigal Son-- this episode is 99% of why I think it was a missed opportunity. Iirc, Karai doesn't appear between then and now, so this would be the first indication she'd have that anyone survived her assault-- and all the boys are here except Don. I just think there's a lot of potential there.

At one point, as Karai calls the Elite into the fray, Leo tells Mikey to take the Heart of Tengu and run-- that he'd hold them off. 'Them' being the Elite; he's about to face the Elite by himself to ensure that this works out. Just try to tell me that's not a statement and a half.

Idk why, but "Get in get out, right? It's not about Karai, right?" always stuck with me.

It's interesting how the episode also calls back to the old intro sequence, where April's piloting a helicopter and Don's jumping onto the rope ladder hanging down from it. Not much to say here, but it's neat.

I'm really bad at making out overlapping voices (and can't make sense of Mikey's line here at all), but after Leatherhead catches Don, you can hear Raph ask him how he's feeling, and Leo say "It's so good to see you again"

I mentioned Raph helping Don to the helicopter in the tags of that last post, but I'm also going to point out that Leo, who is supposed to be flying the helicopter at the end of the episode, is emphatically not watching where he's going.

And, of course, the big one: "I hope you guys didn't go through too much trouble for me."/"Nah!"

In addition to the first point for this episode-- the implication that NO trouble would have been too much-- there's the fact that, when nobody answers for a bit, you can see Don's expression fall. It's that fact that makes me love Mikey's reaction so much-- the way he grins back and tries to sooth that worry down.

Idk how much of this was really analysis, Anon, but I did promise to rattle on for paragraphs, and had a good time doing it. I hope you get some entertainment out of this ;)

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia Ch 20

You find yourself in a forest

Odd when did you get here? Had you walked here? Driven? You...you can't seem to remember. How on Earth did you get here?

(The contents of this chapter are sexual in nature please don’t interact if you are below the age of 18)

Oh Gods you hoped you didn't have an episode while driving again. Even under normal circumstances just the thought upsets you but after finding out Toby's life changing accident the thought now left an acidic taste in your mouth. Similar to when you're sick and have the residual vomit in your mouth no matter how many times you brush your teeth. A very unpleasant experience.

A tall figure looms in the distance taking you out of your musings. You've seen him before, haven't you? Long spindly tendrils stretch out from behind the figure, much like the whisps that led you through the shop the other day. Had it not been for their serpent like movements you'd have thought the being was just another tree in this dense dark forest.

This sure didn't look like the Monongahela. You close your eyes for a moment, just resting your eyes. Your head feels so foggy right now.

You're so tired too, have you been sleeping? When was the last time you slept? Why can't you remember?

It's fine calm down, you just need to think. The fog is so thick, it's hard to focus. Why can't you just focus?

Come on YN, you need to focus, focus, focus!

In an instant that figure is right in front of you. They are so much taller, craning your head back doesn't do much to get a good look at them. You can't make any features out on the shockingly pale face. And here you thought Toby was deathly pale, you may as well have been staring death in the face.  Given the black suit and red tie you might actually be.

Being dead would explain the fogginess of your memories and why things aren't exactly connecting. Had Toby killed you? No, he wouldn't. Maybe the two of you got into an accident on the drive home.

But where's Toby then? Had he survived the crash? Is it bad to hope he's dead too? That boy wouldn't be able to handle another traumatic event. Hell he seemed one major inconvenience away from peacing out when you'd met him, he still has those moments.

Where are you going to go? This wasn't anything like you were expecting, but the again Hollywood's never given you any sort of accuracy before why would they be the ones reporting on life's biggest mystery?

A tendril slips its way around your throat tilting your head up to stare into the pale face of the figure before you. Squeezing as it does, gently not so much to actually suffocate you.

'You are not dead child, you could not be further from it.' a masculine voice echos in the empty space of you mind. The voice rang so clearly it rattled the walls of your brain.

A literal 'brain goes brrrr' moment.

If you aren't dead then...this has to be a dream. The only other explanation for why everything feels so fuzzy and you have so much brain fog.

'Correct, you are in a dream...of sorts. I've summoned you here to review your progress thus far. I must say you've far exceeded my expectations, no thanks to my failing puppet.' the tendril tightens around your neck, again not enough to choke you out. Just a very firm squeeze.

Firm enough that it has you pressing your thighs together. Haven't you taken care of this yet? This situation is so embarrassing because even though you can't see the expression of the being before you they have an omnipotent air around them.

They sense your hunger building, maybe that's why the appendage around your throat tightens once again. You're left a bit breathless.

'I'm very pleased with both of your results. A reward is in order,'

The figure's head moves slightly as their attention shifts to something behind you.

'I believe he'll benefit from this as well.'

He?

Without a moment to think anything else, not like you could in your current state, you were turned around. Where you came face to face with....another faceless entity? No the man in front of you clearly had a face – had the tall pale being not? The man's face was there but you couldn't really make out what you were looking at like it was pixelated in some way to protect his identity on the evening news.

You could see that he had a mop of brunette waves, unlike the tall one who was to your knowledge completely bald. More tendrils wrap themselves around you, on your legs and around your mid section. Legs are spread apart as you're lifted off the ground.

Open and inviting to the form before you. Just what kind of reward is this?

Before you can protest you quickly become aware of the fact that you are naked.. Bare chest on display as nipples harden in the chill of the air. You squirm to try and get away but the hold the tendrils have is too strong for you to break out of. Your legs are lifted until they are face level with the person in front of you.

Yup totally a dream, just a monster fucker having a wet dream. Normal everyday thing.

'To be quite honest it's less of a reward and more a test. But it should prove enjoyable for both of you.'

Hearing the sound of a zipper you freeze, out of shock rather than fear. You were joking when you'd called this a sex dream. You've never had one before and it's surprising to say the least. Do all sex dreams start this strangely?

A pair of fingers find their way to your mouth. Without thinking you opened up and took them in. Letting them go as far back as they could. They played with your tongue, dancing up and down it. Pressing hard here giving a rub there, shoving it between the two of them making sure your saliva coated every single spare centimeter of them.

You found it a bit difficult to breathe around them let alone swallow. They had a salty with a hint of something metallic, like he had an open paper cut. The texture was rough and very different from your own fingers, you could feel divots near the nail bed and loose hardened skin scrapping the inside of your mouth. Sometimes when you swallowed around the fingers you'd get a sharp thrust in return, like he was trying to hit the back of your throat with only his fingers. You nearly took in his pinkie like this. A harsh groan would follow and you'd moan along.

All the tendrils on your body gave a light squeeze at the show. You heard a whisper of 'Good pets.', this time it was echoed through the forest surrounding you.

“Fuck off.” the man who currently had his fingers nearly reaching down your throat growled out.

Before he he gently grabbed on of your legs, moving your body closer to him. Flutters of lips trailed their way up from your knee to your inner thigh. A playful nip stings a few inches from your core. Involuntarily your thighs press together, squishing the head in between the,. It wasn't long before you felt warm breath blow onto your core. You could hardly keep back the trill when a pair of lips wrapped around your clit and a tongue started to dance circles around it. It was a simple set of motions but ones that seemed to hit just right. You didn't know whether to be thankful or hate the tendrils for preventing you from bucking right into the pleasure.

Taking deep breaths to collect yourself didn't work if anything it made for a pseudo pant which left you even more feverish than the lapping at you clit. He flattens his tongue against you and you shudder as he slowly drags it along your slit giving a flick to the hood of you clit. He angled his tongue so he could carefully dance that line between your clit and it's hood. Toes curling you aren't able to contain yourself anymore. A panting and flushed mess as you moan around his fingers, a trail of saliva runs out from the corner of your mouth and down the expanse of your neck. You can't stop your hips as they weakly buck towards him, still stifled by the tendrils stilling them.

The man between your legs stiffens.

Even with him looking right up at you, you can't see past whatever fog is playing at your mind, but you do know that he's just as much of a mess as you are in the moment. Just from going down on you, the poor boy, now you really want to shove his face deep between your legs and not let up until he can't breathe.

Maybe you can.

Your hands haven't been bound like your legs, so you should have no problem grabbing his hair and pulling him in.

'Oh, he'd like that very much. Give it a go pet.' the disembodied voice says, once again in your head.

Wasn't there a body to go with that voice earlier? Yeah, there was, where'd he go?

Your legs are still bound by the tendrils but the tall man is no where in sight anymore. What a strange dream.

A wet dream you remember as your focus returns to the man between your legs. Might as well make the most of it.

The man seems distracted as he glares at something behind you, but you know nothing it there – you've just checked. This gives you the perfect opportunity to grab a fist full of his hair and drag him back down to your puffy lips to finish what he started. He was more than willing as he needed no further instructions and went straight to giving light kitten licks to your aching clit. Frustrated pants and whimpers leave you as he just works you up and pulls back. He's teasing at this point and seems very pleased with himself.

“Pl-please.” you keen  when he pulls away for a second time. Instead of answering your plea he massages the meat of your thighs as he stares up at you from between your leg. You can see one hand in between his own legs most likely toying with his cock like he toys with you.

Just the thought of his cock has you bucking into him, but it seems to do the trick. He begins to suck on your bud again. This time you have a bit more mobility and can grind your hips down in time to his sucking. It's getting wetter and sloppier down there by the second, like he's trying to collect all the liquid in his mouth but can't really hold it there.

For a third time the pleasure stops, and you feel like crying. It's so unfair your first wet dream and you're saddled with an edger.

You let out a whimper and raise your hips again in a pathetic attempt to demand his attention back to where it's needed. While his face is still featureless to you there's a sense of smugness around him. Oh joy a sadist. A harsh spit rings through your dream bubble. But you don't feel anything land on you.

A wet squelching sound can be heard. The blood just doesn't know where to go anymore, to your face or to your core? Clearly none of it's going to your brain when you only thought it , 'Oh shit he's jerking off.' on repeat.

You're very thankful that the tendrils are just holding you up instead of keeping you spread now as you're able to squeeze and rub your thighs together. Trying to get any friction to alleviate your ache. All while you cry and choke around thick fingers.

“Pretty mouse.” his voice is a rumbled timber.

Fingers press harshly into your tongue before slowly pulling out and spreading you legs back open for him. His thumb trails your inner thigh, the nail scratching the unmarked skin as it went. Making your breath hitch in the back of your throat as he let out a breathy chuckle.

He began toying around with your folds with his two spit soaked fingers, “Yea, li-ike that? Make some more pretty noises for me.” His fingers twirled around the entrance of your pussy. Lighting the nerves on fire with each passing circle they made.

Gods, he hasn't even been in you and you're already about to cum. But he was ignoring your clit now. Snaking a hand down you settle it above his and before you can even touch it he's smacking your hand away.

“Nuh-uh mouse.” he gives a sharp smack to your bud, making you jolt as you let out a little 'eep'.

He laughs at your reaction, “Don't worry I'm going to-to-to make you feel so good.” he smirks, “in time.”

That'd be a no for you. You can take three edgings but four is just asking too much, especially for a dream. You aren't one to be bratty often but you're already pent up in the waking world like hell you'll let yourself be edged in the dream one too.

“Fuck you're cute, even when you pout.” suddenly a hand grasps your jaw and pulls you down, it's a bit uncomfortable with your bindings still in place. Your faces are just inches apart right now and you still have no clue who he's supposed to be but sometimes faces are hard for brains to make up. He could just be someone you saw in town once and don't remember.

He leans in and kisses you. It doesn't take anything for you to open your mouth and let him in, there's a hint of tang on his tongue. No discernible taste just a bit of tang. He makes sure to glide his tongue across every inch of your mouth, making sure you taste yourself. You can feel his smirk in the kiss as you moan. Can feel the pumping of his hand on his cock now that you're so close together.

The thought of his cock makes your core pulse with need. And as if he can read your thoughts he pulls away, leaving you panting and horny. “Now that's a cute look too.” The tip of his middle and ring fingers are in you spreading the ring of your entrance far apart. “But then this on-one's my favorite.”

As you writhe and moan you can't help but think of how much you hate that boyish lilt in his tone right now. He scissors his fingers and twists them this way and that, occasionally plunging them as deep into you as they can go. And while your panting and whimpers are lovely he quickly figures out that you're much more receptive to the teasing of your entrance. The way just the tips of his fingers work in lighting up hundreds of nerve endings.

How he can leave you right on the edge of orgasm only to take that away by pulling out slightly or diving in further. It's a good game, but he eventually grows bored of just your facial expressions and wants to chase his own release. So, he leans in towards your core to watch the way your walls clamp down on his finger tips as they spread you apart. Trying to squeeze around the foreign objects to eject them out but if he surges his hand forward the walls constrict in a way the feels like they are trying to suck him deeper into your depth. All the while you moan and whine, just for him.

So enraptured with your being he isn't really paying attention to you anymore. You want to end his teasing, you just want to cum. It's not surprising at all that he hardly noticed you grabbed a fist full of his hair. But he certainly notices when you pull him to your core and hold him in place. The pressure on his scalp letting him know just how tightly you have him.

There's a moment when he does nothing, just stares up at you from between you legs. Through hooded eyes he continues to make eye contact as he brings his mouth to your clit, even as you buck into him.

“Good boy.” the words just tumbled from your mouth in a moan.

One that gets echoed by the man kneeling before you. It's a needy little moan, one that changes things.

“Good boy,” he goes faster, not just on your clit but he also starts stroking himself faster.

“Ah – aaah, good  boys wai-it oh – wait to cum.” his hand slows and you hear a mumbled 'Good boys wait.' causing your grip to tighten as you pull him up by his hair to look into your face – even if you can't see his.

“Did I tell you to stop?”

“N-no!” you can feel the shiver that runs through him.

Big guy isn't so tough now that you found his kink, damn this dream sure is exploring a lot of your owns though.

“That's right, now you've been awfully naughty. Edging me like that. Doesn't seem like you want to be a 'good boy'.”

“I want to – want to be a good boy, very good boy.” his hand is still going, you'd honestly be surprised he hadn't cum if this weren't a dream.

“Hmm, finish what you started. Then...maybe you'll be my good boy.” a series of moans followed as he bucked into his hand. Apparently you'd said a trigger for him and he came just from that alone.

You want to find it in you to play up being upset with him maybe even play up how he wasn't a good boy after all – cumming like that. But you could tell from the way his shoulders sank in that he felt ashamed that he didn't last until you were done with him.

Sometimes a gentle hand is needed. “Oh my poor baby. I didn't know how excited that'd make you.” you cup his face gently. He's trying to make himself smaller. “Now now of that, you can make it up to me.” He perks up.

“You want to make it up to me right?” you slide back away letting you hands fall off his chin, and he follows your movement leaning to feel your touch again.

You give him a smile and stroke his cheek, “Then make me cum.” it was a breathy whisper as you took the opening to initiate a kiss with him. No tongue was involved this time just an urgent need and movement of lips.

You pull away from him and get a small whimper in return. Pay back would sure be sweet right now had he not riled you up this much then got off himself.

He's sliding back down between your legs, barely giving himself a chance to settle in before twirling his fingers just outside your entrance. Face diving to lick several long stripes along your slit.

'Seems everything is in order here. I trust you both will behave in my absence.'

“What?”

Waking up horny and unsatisfied with the fainest memory of your wet dream fading further and further from memory was definitely one way to start your Saturday. But it wasn't the preferable way or a fun one. Especially when it involved a pair of soaking panties and an hour to even satiate your needy pussy.

[deeranger]

Fic Writer Questions!

@oddsocksandstuff tagged me in this, thank you so much, sweetie!  ❤️

 1) How many works do you have on AO3? I’ve got 40 so far (of which 25 are SPN fics). There’s more to come! 

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 486,667, apparently. That tells me each of my fics has an average wordcount of 12,166.675… Seems about right. I was never any good at keeping things short.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Uhh… On AO3 I’ve written for Supernatural, Supernatural RPF, X-men (Cherik) and McFassy (James McAvoy/Michael Fassbender). But I’ve written a lot when I was younger that has never made it online, including NCIS, Pirates of the Caribbean, and lots of weird one-shorts starring everyone from Michael J. Fox to Kevin Sorbo from “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys”. 🤨  

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos? “A Lesson to be Taught” – an SPN Wincest pwp fic where a dominant Dean fucks (and spanks) Sam and they discover that Dean apparently has a daddy!kink. Comes with a photo manipulation too! There be dick.    

“Taking Game” – a semi-dark medieval Cherik (Charles Xavier/Erik Lehnsherr from X-men) AU. Basically, Charles is a poacher hunting on king Erik’s land to his great dismay. And so, he’s captured and gets the choice between losing his life or serving the king for a bit… Dubcon and smut ensues.   “Only Like This” – a little SPN Wincest dub-con fic about hopelessly pining Dean doping Sam just so he can touch and kiss his oblivious little brother. It’s okay. Sam won’t remember when he comes to.   “It’s Only Carnal” – A dark SPN Wincest noncon fic where soulless!Sam needs to blow off some steam. And when it comes to carnal activities his brother isn’t exactly a novice – so why not use Dean’s body to make them both feel good?   “Demonized” – a long and dark af SPN noncon fic written in collaboration with the awesome @palishere. Sam is captured by some nasty demons who use him to lure in his brother. At first it seems the demonic scumbags are just really perverted and have a weakness for sexual torture, but they turn out to have ulterior motives…  

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes, always. I think it can be a bit demotivating for a reader to leave a comment and get zero response – and so, they might not bother to comment on the next fic. At least, that’s how I feel personally. And besides, I really want to let readers know that I appreciate them taking the time and effort to actually tell me what they think.  

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Oufff… Seriously? How can I possibly pick just one when 99.8 percent of my fics are not only dark af but have gut-wrenching ambiguous endings as well? I, err… I’m gonna have to think really hard about this one, hold on… *Insert buzzing cicada sound*… Uhh… Well, I guess it might be… “Play or Pay” – a dark female!reader-insert Wincest fic where demon!Dean has you and Sam trapped somewhere underground. Sam ends up being on the receiving end of the demon’s cruelty when he tries to save you. Using Dean’s body the demon ends up raping Sam while the reader tries to escape to get help... There’s a little twist in the end. Loads of dead dove here, including death (not Dean or Sam).     “The Orange Hour” – where undercover inmate!Dean has to rape CO!Sam in order to save both of their lives and get them out of the jail in one piece. It doesn’t go completely as planned. (Comes with an nsfw photo manipulation).  “Demonized” – loads of bottom!Sam torture, full of hurt and absolutely no comfort... It’s just… I dunno, I think I and @palishere had a collective meltdown in the noncon and angst department. Sorrynotsorry.      

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Nope, I’ve never in my life written a crossover. Usually, I’m too laser-focused on 1 obsession at a time. I can’t multitask, okay?   

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yes, the fandom purity police has visited me on AO3. The usual self-proclaimed know-it-alls vomiting their bullshit all over the comment section about how “problematic” noncon is and how “sick” I must be. I thought about moderating comments for a while, actually – but I just deleted their follow-up comments until they left me alone. 😤

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind? Yes!! Gimme! Usually, I write noncon smut or just good ol’ pwps that feature some sort of dominance. That’s it. That’s my jam. In general, the only smut I don’t write is the cute, fluffy, feel-good, cuddly stuff… My smut’s usually pretty rough and/or some sort of dub/noncon.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Someone stole “It’s Only Carnal” and posted it as her own on some Portuguese fanfiction site. She even replied to comments, answered questions and talked about how much she loved writing it, etc… Luckily a sweet mutual on Tumblr let me know about it and I reported her for plagiarism. The stolen fic was taken down shortly after and the account deleted. Goddamn thief. 😡  

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes. Honestly, I can’t remember which fic(s). But people have contacted me on AO3 and asked for permission to translate my stuff into Chinese. I have - of course - happily allowed them to. It’s such an awesome compliment to get, I think!  

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, 2. “Demonized” and the fluffy Ficfacers prompt fic “The Masks We Wear” starring Sam and Dean taking their pranks a step too far. Basically, the brothers get angry with each other and they need to talk it out… No smut in this one, can you believe it?!! But that was kinda the prompt we received. The prompt was literally: “Sam and fluff”. Anyways, both fics are co-written with the lovely @palishere. You can find her AO3 here. 😊

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? Wincest!!! Definitely. Gimme all the brotherfucking, please. No contest. And coming in on second place I guess there’s Samifer – never paired consensually, though. I just love Lucifer messing with Sam’s head and torturing him in all kinds of cruel ways.    

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Oh, that’s a mean question… I have a noncon WIP where Sam and Dean are in prison. I wrote a whole story outline, gathered my own little dictionary of prison slang, etc… But I never made it past page 10 or something. Sam was supposed to get jumped by a gang of inmates and then Dean was supposed to helplessly watch from the sideline, offering to trade places if they’d just leave his little brother alone… And after that it’s all about a mix of healing and vengeance… But the story has been lying on the shelf for more than a year and I doubt I’ll ever continue it. Oh, wait! I almost forgot – I have a long Cherik WIP sequel to “To Have and to Hold”! Just checked, its wordcount is 18,729! Holy crap…. What a waste, huh? But I honestly don’t think I’ll ever finish it, because I’m not into Cherik anymore. That ship has kinda sunk for me…. So, now I’m hyperfixating on Supernatural, yeah?     

16) What are your writing strengths? Description, I think. I just love details and setting the mood. I like to think I’m pretty good at writing in English too even though it isn’t my native language… I wish to be better and expand my vocabulary but I’m doing okay nonetheless.

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Description, I think. Yes, you read correctly. I often describe things TOO much. Sometimes to the extent where the pacing gets so slowed down that I feel like the scene loses its ‘feel’. I don’t know if it’s just in my head, but that’s my major concern about my writing. That and my signature ambiguous endings, lol.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Love it. It can be difficult to pull off, but if you get it right it can be magical. Just don’t overdo it and make sure that the reader can follow. I don’t think I have any fics online where I do it, but I’m not a complete stranger to it either.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? Ack, my poor brain trying to go back to when I was friggin’ 13… You know how many years ago that was?! 25!!! Okay!? *Huffs*…. Anyway, I THINK it might’ve been Keanu Reeves’ character in “Johnny Mnemonic”. Or maybe David James Elliott’s character as Harmon Rabb in the early seasons of “JAG”. I dunno. Either way this question makes me feel really old and I don’t appreciate it. Don’t @ me. 😅   

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? That’s probably a tie between “The Orange Hour” and “It’s Only Carnal”. They’ve both got nice pacing and that’s my biggest challenge, I think. Also, I love the whole Morse code thing in “The Orange Hour”. I don’t even know what happened or how I came up with it, but hey, I can surprise myself if I want to, I guess! And of course there’s the smutty noncon and all of the hurt… So, those two fics are my personal faves. 😏  

I’ll tag @jackandthesoulmates, @pinkoptics, @palishere, @wrenseroticlibrary, @decadent-prince, @negans-lucille-tblr, @juinae and @impala-dreamer and everyone else who feels like doing it! Feel free to ignore, of course. 

[strikethematch18]

Dadzawa x F! Reader - Over Worked & Tired Part 2

After your shower which made you feel a little better than before as the act of cleaning the accruing sweat and radiating germs from your body. Your next step was hoisting yourself out of the shower base and to a position you can dry your body and get dressed. This would be an awfully awkward thing for your teacher to help you with, so this task left you on your own. 

It took a little bit of time and effort but eventually, you did manage to dry your body. The next step was to put the fresh clothes Aizawa left for you on your body, they were definitely comfortable and comforting. This took a little less bit of energy but still took a lot. After sitting for a moment on the seat on the toilet you stood up to face your weakness and the overpowering world spinning. 

You open the door to the bathroom quietly and slowly make your way down a hallway holding on to the wall for added support. It wasn’t long until you heard the quick steps of your professor coming from what you could assume was the kitchen in order to give you added support and led you over to a couch already made with pillows and a new blanket which made you frown slightly.

In your moment of help, you couldn’t help feeling a little guilty, “Y/N, you should have gotten my attention, and I would have been helped you sooner so you didn’t exert nearly as much energy and strength.”

Picking up on your frown Azaiwa said, “it’s just in the wash, I figured it would help and it would make it a little softer. Same thing with your clothes”

“Oh okay, thanks,” you responded weakly.

He stood in front of you and crouched down to your sitting level, “Do you think you could eat a little soup for me kid? It’s chicken noodle so it’s going to be easy on you. I know you’re not the biggest rice fan.”

Aware that you hadn’t eaten in a few days you responded, “Yeah I can try.”

As he walks away you begin to acknowledge how cold you feel but you know it’s a drawback of your fever. Truthfully you didn’t want to eat anything, what you wanted was to curl up in that blanket and sleep, but you weren’t about to let Azaiwas cooking efforts go to waste, and you putting it off any longer probably wouldn’t help your case either, so complying seemed like your best option here. In your slowed thinking you hadn’t realized Azaiwa was just arriving in front of you holding two bowls preparing to hand one to you.

You took the bowl with the spoon in it and were surprised to see your teacher taking a seat in front of you on the floor looking up at you with his own soup which confused you slightly. Had you not been sick and unable to concentrate or focus you may be able to comprehend what he was doing.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to eat by yourself, makes it a little less awkward, plus I’m a little hungry myself,” he said in his gruff normal monotone voice.

“Thanks for that, it actually means a lot,” you replied before taking a spoonful of the soup and eating it.

The meal took place in silence, you slowly eating your chicken noodle soup not wanting to rush yourself as you weren’t really all that hungry plus it felt like a lot of food. As Azaiwa eats his own he examines you in your sick form, He couldn’t help but feel responsible for this, he did push his students as far as they could but he didn’t see just how much he was taking and pushing Y/N. He tried not to show favoritism among his students, but he couldn’t help but care for you as though you were his own child. Really he just wanted you to be happy.

Spooning soup into his mouth, he began to think about the information he had read in your file over the years. He knew that your home life wasn’t all that great. Evidence that you were often left alone for days alone with no real-life knowledge of how to take care of yourself and a house. Your mom was an alcoholic and would have repeating men over that would verbally abuse you, and you did live with anxiety and major depression, but you didn’t know that he knew, all because it was in your student file. He remembered that he is going to have to do some updating to it now that he knows symptoms of the overuse of your quirk.

He noticed you had put your bowl in your lap looking down as though you were deep in thought, perhaps even getting down on yourself. Until he saw that you managed to eat only half the soup he had given you. As he quickly finished his bowl he then proceeded to stand up and gently take the bowl from you.

“Hey kid, it’s alright, you managed to eat something, we can do this again later when you feel up to it okay? I’m proud you made it this far.”

You looked up at him and nodded slightly to demonstrate your agreement on the matter.

After taking them back to his kitchen and in the sink the teacher sighed, he knew you felt terrible, but he was hoping for a little improvement on this, but this just showed you were working on it. He walked back into the living room and saw you still in the same position as before just sitting in a dazed state, but now he noticed your visible shivering from the fever you no doubt had. He put a hand on your forehead and once again you leaned into is getting a little bit of pleasure from the coldness to you. What he noticed was that you felt warmer than you had before and sighed. 

He walked away and headed to the bathroom and into a medicine cabinet. He grabbed a thermometer and ibuprofen and Tylenol, unsure of what would help the circumstances more. Once he got back to you he crouched down in front of you again as you hugged yourself giving the illusion of creating a little warmth.

���Y\N, I need you to open your mouth and stick this under your tongue so I can check your temperature, okay? See what we’re working with.”

As it beeped he discovered the results were very undesirable, 102.4 degrees Fahrenheit, starting to get into dangerous levels. The time was approximately 6:00 in the morning and right about now would usually be preparing to train you in combat before classes for the day, but today is different for the obvious reasons. The teacher sighed as he debated on the blanket or not, but it would make you more comfortable so he left it for you,

“Alright, kid, why don’t you lay down and get some sleep. You’re staying here for the time being at least until I deem you well enough to go back to your dorm. Now, what works better for a fever reducer for you, ibuprofen or Tylenol?” he said and asked as he held the bottles up.

After releasing a small cough you responded with, “Tylenol works better for me.”

And with a quick motion, he took two out of the bottle and handed them to you take along with a bottle of water. You gave him a small smile of gratitude. And after you swallowed he set the bottles down and helped guide you to laying down knowing that to you, you must feel incredibly heavy and weak. Started with your upper body making sure your head hit the pillow, then helped lift your legs onto the cushions. He proceeded to take the blanket and placing it on top of your frame to provide that extra bit of comfort.

“Why don’t you close your eyes and get some sleep kid. I’ll be here when you wake up, if I’m not in here directly find a way to let me know.”

“Okay Mr. Azaiwa, but what about classes today, shouldn’t you be there instead of here taking care of silly old me?” you said with a small laugh that leads to a coughing fit.

“Don’t worry about it Y/N, I’ll figure it out, right now you are my priority. Now go to sleep little one”:

And with that, you closed your eyes and your breathing slowed as you snuggled into the couch and pillow while wrapping yourself in the provided blanket. He sighed and took another look at the time, Roughly a quarter after 6. He knew Present Mic would be around in a little over an hour and a half as the human alarm clock with his projecting voice for teachers and students. He knew he was going to have to stop him this time since he knew you really needed the uninterrupted sleep and he knew it was essential to getting you healthy. In the meantime, he decided it was in his best interest to take a small nap and unwrapped one of his many sleeping bags and laid down in it on the floor next to you.

In about an hour and 15 minutes he woke up and got up to wait in the hallway to see Present Mic and ask him to not do his normal routine and explain the situation. Later in the day, he had plans to retrieve your laptop to email your professors at the American college and also speak to principle Nezu to alert him of the situation at hand, also he was supposed to alert him anytime a modification was to be made to a students file.

After a few more minutes Present Mic exited his room and was surprised to see his friend already out of his room and headed over to him.

“Hey Hizashi, anyway I can talk you out of doing your normal wake up routine?” Azaiwa asked.

“I mean sure, but why?” the other teacher proceeded to ask.

“I’ve got a very sick student crashing on my couch right now. She has been overworking herself and been trying to function on next to no sleep and forgot to eat in the mix of it. I brought her back here to keep an eye on her.”

“It wouldn’t happen to be Y/N would it? She’s the American girl also working on her college degree right?” Hizashi asked.

“Yeah, that’s the student. I guess she at the end of the semester and is struggling a bit. I think she’s also been depending on her quirk more and has been overusing it. Speaking of which, you know how the symptoms of that were missing from her student file? Well, I finally found out tonight.”

“Well shit man, what are they?”

“From the information, she gave me they are usually a lack of focus, occasional headache, and often night terrors and the extra fatigue. I’ll be going to Nezu here in a bit since it will be a modification to her file.”

“Alright man, I’ll spread the news to ask I wake the other teachers up.”

“Thanks for that Hizashi, and would you mind helping out covering my classes today. I want to keep a close eye on the kid. Has a fever of 102 degrees and is really struggling,” Awaiza asked to hope for the best.

“Yeah no problem Shota, just take care of the kid and let me know if you need anything else from me,” and with that, he walked off to start his morning wake-up calls.

With this taken care of, he proceeded to walk back into the apartment and see Y/N still sleeping soundly and decided to crawl back into his sleeping back, hoping to achieve some sleep himself, as he too needed some sleep in order to help her.

[missgarnet]

Baby Daddies Chapter 1

Pairing: ot7 x reader

Word count:2.6k

Genre: fluff, and a little bit of chaos

Summary:  So... no one tells you what to expect when you and your friends with benefits are about to have a child. (All plans are thrown out the window when your 7 closest friends find out they're going to become dads.)

Warnings: Jin is the ultimate mom friend, pregnancy, Jungshook, 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Link to ao3

In hindsight, you probably shouldn’t have texted the guys that you were still sick as a way to avoid them. Especially when Jin was the biggest mom friend on earth and had insisted that they come to drop off some soup and make sure you were still alive. It wasn’t exactly a lie per se, but there was something you were definitely leaving out.

You slipped on a robe before answering the door, squinting at the bright lights in the hallway. “Y/N, no wonder you’ve been avoiding us. You look awful and your apartment is a wreck. When was the last time you cleaned, or opened the windows? That’s it you need fresh air and light,” Jin starts nagging as he pushes past you into your home.

The other boys trail behind him with various pots and tupperware containers that Jin had forced them to carry. They set them on the kitchen table as they start tidying the space around them. Your apartment wasn’t that messy, but you hadn’t been feeling well and the eight of you had a habit of taking care of each other when one of you was sick. It was a miracle you’d been able to have so much time to yourself before they insisted on taking care of you this time.

“Hey Y/N, why do you have these,” Namjoon asks holding up the box of pregnancy tests you left sitting out on the counter. “I thought you were on birth control.”

“I am, but it doesn’t always work so it’s good to have them just in case.”  You cursed under your breath, realizing that you had to tell them eventually.  “Joonie, you know how you said you wanted to be a dad a while back. Well… there’s like a one in seven chance that you’re going to be very soon”

“What do you mean one in seven?”

“I mean if you do the math, there’s seven of you guys, one of me, and now there’s a positive pregnancy test. I haven’t been with anyone else in years, and we’ve all been friends with benefits a little too often. And here we are.”

“So how are we going to figure this out?” Namjoon asks, trying his best to figure out how to handle the unusual situation the eight of you were currently facing.

Jungkook raised his hand, “We should do rock paper scissors to decide who gets to be dad.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Jimin chimes in, “but is the winner or the loser responsible for all of this.”

The boys contemplate this for a moment as you sit there in shock, are they really about to decide who’s the father by rock paper scissors? Sure you’ve used it to make big decisions before, but this felt a little extreme by comparison. Somehow they’d decided to flip a coin to decide if having a kid with you was winning or losing. “Guys, I know this is a surprise but if you don’t want this you can just say so. I’m not going to force you to be there for anything just because we slept together.”

“It’s really not a surprise, Jin and the maknaes were making bets on how long it would take for you to tell us” Hobi interjected from his comfortable position on the couch.

“I took the test yesterday, how could you know before I did?”

Yoongi lifted his head from Hoseok’s lap, “Jungkook was worried because you kept feeling nauseous in the car every morning after breakfast. Taehyung was saying that your boobs felt bigger the last time you hooked up and then Jin pointed out that you’ve been gaining a lot of weight over the last few weeks. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were further along than you thought.”

“I don’t know if I should be insulted or feel flattered that you guys noticed all that.”

“Why not both?” Jimin suggested.

“You know what Jimin, that’s a great idea. I’m going to take it as a complement but also Jin might want to watch what he’s saying, especially since we both know who ate all the dumplings when I bought us dinner last week.”

The guys laughed as Jin began ranting about how he deserved more respect as the oldest, complaining about how you young people have no manners.

After a dinner where Seokjin had continued to sneak more and more food onto your plate, you were finally able to leave the table feeling as though you needed to be rolled into the other room.

“So what do we do now?” Namjoon asked, taking out a piece of paper to take notes.

“What do you mean, it’s friday night. We do the same thing every week.” Jungkook replied, oblivious to what Namjoon actually meant.

“First off, I don’t think that’s what they’re talking about,” you tried to explain.  “And I don’t think we’re going to be able to have our usual friday nights for a while.”

“Why not, we can still hang out the way we did before you got pregnant.”

“I know,” Namjoon added, “but some things are going to have to change because there’s parts of our routine that Y/N can’t really do anymore. Just think about what we normally do on friday nights.”

“We play video games, eat junk food unless Jin cooks, drink a beer and watch Yoongi cheat at monopoly.”

“And how does that end for you?”

“Making out on the couch, maybe sleeping with Y/N or one of you guys. And then there were a few times we all slept with each other.”

“Koo, I think what he’s trying to point out is that there’s some things I really can’t do right now.”

“So we can’t play mario kart anymore?” His sad little doe eyes were enough to melt anyone’s heart, and you found yourself falling for them time and time again. Of all the guys he was the hardest to say no to especially when he used that adorable pouty voice of his.

“Oh honey, of course we can.” You said as you took the corner of the couch, pulling Jungkook to sit with you. You tucked yourself between his arms as he pulled you on to his lap in a tight embrace.

You patted the spot next to you, waiting for one of the others to join you. What surprised you was how differently the guys were acting towards you even though they had just found out. Normally the eight of you would just fling yourselves onto the couch piling up into a group by literally throwing yourself onto one another. Instead they were being extra cautious as Jimin gently sank into the cushions next to you, taking your hand in his, he raised it to his lips pressing a soft kiss to the back of your hand.

Tae was acting equally as strange most of the time he would be the first one to throw himself into the pile, tightly wrapping his arms around the nearest person. This time he was careful not to put any of his weight on you as he curled up with everyone, resting his head on Jungkook’s chest he looked up at you with the brightest of his boxy smiles.

“I have an appointment tomorrow, I guess if one or two of you want to go with-”

The guys immediately erupted into arguments of why they should be by your side.

“I’ve known her longer.”

“I got with her before you did”

“Just saying, I’d be the best parent here.”

“That’s enough, Y/N needs one of us who can be there for her during all of this. I could take some time off work, or I could be a stay at home parent! Then you could keep working and I could be the best dad.” Jin argued.

“No, you’re not taking time off work for this," you sighed. “We are going to go about things the way we normally act, without making any major changes to how we are now. If you guys want to argue about this or come up with crazy ideas then you can stay home. I’ll take Yoongi and Jungkook if they want to go but the rest of you are staying.”

“Y/N, you need someone there who’s going to listen to the doctors and take notes on how to help with everything. Why shouldn’t that be me?  I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Jin, you started a betting pool because you thought I was pregnant instead of just asking, and the rest of you did nothing to stop him. Honestly I’d be okay with taking Hoseok before any of you, but I don’t want to explain to the doctor why my emotional support person keeps fainting.”

The next morning the three of you packed into the car with Jungkook in the back and Yoongi in the driver's seat still bickering with Jin over the packed lunches he kept forcing into the car. It seemed fine when he handed you the first bag, but as he continued to pile tupperware into the car insisting that his future child needed all the nutrition they could get.

You were trying your best to stay calm and not start overthinking everything, but maybe reading WebMD in the waiting room wasn’t helping. As the three of you entered the office you couldn’t help but worry, you weren’t ready for all of this. Even Jungkook’s amusement at the various medical equipment and diagrams in the room wasn’t enough to distract you.

“Hey, what’s this?” Jungkook asks, pointing at one of the 3D models lining the shelf.

“Well, Jungkook when a man loves a woman very much-” Thankfully whatever response Yoongi had planned ended up being cut off when the doctor opened the door.

“Hi Y/N, how’s everything going today?” Dr. Nam asked as you mumbled your usual reply. “I see you brought someone with you, or I guess I should say sometwo?”

You could feel the heat rising to your face as you tried to explain your current situation “Yes, these are my… um... My friends?”

“Ah, so that’s what the kids are calling it these days.” The doctor couldn’t help but chuckle as she took in your flustered expressions, “There’s nothing wrong with having multiple partners, especially when it’s a healthy relationship with people you care about. Besides, you’ve said enough during our last visits to prepare me for all of them showing up one day. I must say I’m a little shocked that the one with the nice shoulders isn’t here.”

“I didn’t say that much about them”

Dr. Nam just hummed in reply as she went back to reading through your chart. “With the information you have here, I think it might be best if we go ahead and do an ultrasound. You’ve had quite a few missed periods, and while it might be from stress that makes it a little more difficult to figure out a due date. This at least gives us an idea of where we’re at, and when we can expect certain milestones.”

It seemed as though she could sense the discomfort and worry as the odd machine was wheeled forward. It didn’t help that Jungkook kept nervously glancing at it as if it were some kind of wild beast. The gel was colder than you had expected, and you couldn’t help but shift in discomfort as the doctor spread it across your lower abdomen. Without a word Yoongi reached out and took your hand in his, doing his best to comfort you.

“I’m going to turn the sound on, please keep in mind that we might not be able to hear a heartbeat just yet and that doesn’t mean anything is wrong.” She turned on the machine and slowly guided the sensor across your skin. The room fell silent for just a moment before you could hear the quick little heartbeat sounding out from the speaker. You're not sure which one of you started crying first but it was clear that none of you were leaving with dry eyes.

She turned the screen towards the three of you showing you the image you had been holding your breath for. “It’s a little difficult to hear, but if I move this a little further to the right we have a second heartbeat.”

“It has two hearts?” Jungkook yelled in a sudden panic.

“Of course not, two heartbeats means two babies,” your words slowed as the realization began to hit you. “It is two of them right? Not like a mutant baby with two hearts- because I’d be okay with that too.”

Dr. Nam shook her head at the two of you already jumping to the panicking phase she’s seen so many first time parents going through. “No, you are not having a mutant baby. You have two perfectly healthy babies on the way and based on their development and a couple measurements I would say that you’re around 10 weeks along, maybe a little more. Everything looks good, but if you have any questions or concerns please call me at any time.”

As the three of you headed out of the office, Yoongi was the one to accept the little care package that the nurses had prepared for you. Meanwhile you and Jungkook were trailing behind him like little ducklings, still in shock from finding out about the twins. You soon found yourself being packed in the backseat of the car with Jungkook as Yoongi drove around aimlessly.

“Put the phone down,” Yoongi called from the front seat. “The two of you already look traumatized, we don’t need to make it worse by going on WebMD again.”

“It’s not WebMD, I was on google and I found a parenting blog for twins.”

He sighed as he glanced back at you in the mirror, taking in the look on your face as you continued to scroll through the website. “Why do I feel like that’s even worse?”

“Because, I’ve been to one appointment and I’m already failing as a mother. There’s all these things that we’re supposed to be doing that I didn’t even know about. Like journaling, we’re supposed to be writing things down so we remember after the baby comes. And I’m starting prenatal vitamins way later than I should have. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until a couple days ago. One of the blog women knew the week of. It’s been ten weeks and I hardly noticed anything different,”

“That’s it,” he said as he pulled the car over. “You are not going to sit here putting yourself down when we both know it’s not your fault. There are more important things than a journal or whatever some random stranger is saying on a pregnancy blog. What’s really bothering you?”

“What if I’m not a good mom?”

“If you're going to keep saying that I will call Namjoon and make him join this conversation.”

“No,” you whined. “He’s going to start off all sweet and encouraging, and then he’ll end up going on another philosophical rant about the meaning of life.”

The two of you laughed at the idea, Namjoon tried his best to be supportive of all of you but he often got lost in his own thoughts. “C’mon, what’s going on?”

“I’m just not ready for things to change so much. It’s only been a few days, everything is already so overwhelming, and it’s only going to get more complicated when all of them find out we’re having twins.”

“You don’t have to tell everyone yet. It’s okay if you want more time, I’m not going to say anything and Jungkook looks like he’s already been scared silent.”

[littlequeenies]

Mary Asutin was Freddie Mercury’s girlfriend in the 1970s, subject of Queen’s song ‘Love of My Life’ and Freddie’s longtime friend and companion until his death.

Early Life

Mary Georgina Austin was born on March 6, 1951 in Fulham, West London. Her life had been deprived, she grew up in a struggling working-class home and her parents were poor. Her father worked as a hand-trimmer for wallpaper specialists and her mother was a domestic for a small company. Both parents were deaf and communicated through sign language and lip-reading. At 15 she left the school and began to work as a secretary.

She moved up some shortly afterwords, when she got a job at the trendy Biba store in London as a customer PR. This was a very fashionable place, and the customers included some of the biggest celebrities of the time. One night, she attended a rock concert at a nearby college. While there, she ran into a friendly acquaintance who worked nearby, Brian May. They hit it off and they began dating. The relationship was fun, but it never got serious and they broke up on friendly terms.

1970s Freddie’s girlfriend

May was a musician and was starting a band with some talented friends, and one day he introduced her to the band, when she was 19. Though she wasn't aware of it at the time, she attracted the infatuation of the group's lead singer, a co-worker of May's who called himself Freddie Mercury. Mercury soon frequented the store she worked at and they became increasingly friendly. With fellow band member Roger Taylor, both ran a stall in nearby Kensington Market, selling old clothes and Freddie’s artwork.

Six months later, he surprised her by asking her out on a date, which she accepted after some hesitation. Both were financially strapped, so they had to do things together that didn't involve spending money. He was a flamboyant person in public, which she found intimidating, being a shy and unassuming person, herself, but Mary found herself fascinated by this “wild-looking artistic musician”. However, she eventually got to see the side of himself that he didn't show others, a serious and quiet person who was mistrustful of others. She says, “He was like no one I had ever met before. He was very confident and I have never been confident. We grew together. I liked him - and it went on from there.”

When Freddie first asked her for a date on his 24th birthday, Mary pretended she was busy on that particular night. “I was trying to be cool,” she recalls with a smile, “not because there was any real reason I couldn’t go. But Freddie wasn’t put off. We went out the next day instead. He wanted to go and see Mott The Hoople at the Marquee Club in Soho. Freddie didn’t have much money then and so we just did normal things like any other young people. There were no fancy dinners - they came later when he hit the big time. It took about three years for me to really fall in love. But I had never felt that way about anyone.”

She first shared a £10-a-week bedsit with Freddie in Victoria Road, Kensington. It was at this time that Freddie Mercury proposed to Mary Austin. On Christmas Day in 1973, he gave her a big box. Inside, there was another box: "[Then] another and so it went on. It was like one of his playful games. Eventually, I found a lovely jade ring inside the last small box." Confused, she asked where she should put it on. "Ring finger, left hand," he answered. Then he elaborated "Because, will you marry me?" She accepted. After two years together they moved to a larger, self-contained flat in Holland Road, which cost them £19 a week. By then Queen had signed a record deal and had their first big hit, “Seven Seas Of Rhye”.

It was at a showcase held at Ealing College of Art, Freddie’s old art school, that Mary first recognised his star quality.

Mary remembers the first time she took Freddie, with his thick mane of long, black hair, home to meet her father in their terraced Fulham home. “I hadn`t warned my father how extraordinary looking Freddie was and so I think my father handled the situation very well. Sadly, my mother never met Freddie as she had died four years earlier. My father opened the door and just stayed very calm and treated Freddie very warmly. There were a few glances and comments from the neighbours. Afterwards I realised bringing home this musician must have been quite a shock for him.”

Although Mary and Freddie were engaged to be married, the marriage never took place. It was after they had moved to their second flat in Holland Road that Mary first started to think something was going wrong with their six-year relationship. As Queen grew ever more successful, their relationship cooled. Freddie Mercury started staying out to increasingly late hours, prompting Austin to wonder whether he was sleeping with another woman. Everything changed one day when Freddie told her he had something important to say, something that would change their whole relationship forever. Mary explains, “Being a bit naive, it had taken me a while to realise the truth. Afterwards he felt good about having finally told me he was bisexual.” Mary decided to move out, but Freddie insisted she shouldn`t move too far from him. After a six-year relationship, Freddie and Mary split up in 1980.

After that, their physical relationship ended, but their connection deepened. Freddie Mercury bought her a flat nearby his apartment and employed her as his personal assistant.

1980s and beyond

Mary and Freddie keep their friendship through all his life. In a 1985 interview, Freddie Mercury said: "All my lovers asked me why they couldn't replace Mary, but it's simply impossible. The only friend I've got is Mary, and I don't want anybody else. To me, she was my common-law wife. To me, it was a marriage. We believe in each other, that's enough for me."

In 1987, he revealed to her that he had tested positive for the HIV virus. She was the first person he told, and she never repeated it to anyone through the remainder of his life. One of Mercury's top priorities was making sure that Mary was financially secure, but she was interested in making sure he take care of his health.

From that moment she was there each day to try to comfort him as he gradually became more ill. Having stayed with Mercury throughout his battle with AIDs, their relationship intensified as the focus on his diminishing life did. "During those times I did really feel such love for him," Austin remembers, "They were the moments I remembered every time I looked at his bed. I would sit every day next to the bed for six hours, whether he was awake or not. He would suddenly wake up and smile and say, 'Oh, it's you, old faithful.'" She also had to take care of her baby son Richard Frederick, born on March 1990, and whom Freddie Mercury was his godfather; and was pregnant of her second son by that time.

Realising he was starting to lose his sight and with his body becoming so weak that finally he couldn’t even get out of bed, Freddie decided to face up to dying by refusing to take his medication. Mary had been his bedrock and a particular comfort in his final years. Finally in 1991, his health deteriorated and he passed away on November of that year at the age of 45. She was devastated when he finally chose to die. "It was the loneliest and most difficult time of my life after Freddie died." In the settling of his estate, Mary was left with the majority of his vast fortune, more than she had expected. Including that was his palatial mansion, which she agreed to move in to. That turned out to be more complicated than expected, as the mansion had a large staff and the settling of Mercury's estate took several months. It took her five years before she could even feel comfortable in the house he left her.

She too expressed a feeling that a kind of marriage had occurred between the two: "I lost somebody who I thought was my eternal love. When he died I felt we'd had a marriage. We'd lived our vows. We'd done it for better for worse, for richer for poorer. In sickness and in health. You could never have let go of Freddie unless he died. Even then it was difficult." Freddie’s cremated remains were left to her. To this day, she is the sole person with the knowledge as to the location of his remains.

Mary would go on to marry twice, first to a painter named Piers Cameron and had two sons with him, Richard Frederick born on March 1990, and Jamie Alistair, born on February 1992. "[Piers] always felt overshadowed by Freddie," Austin explained. "Freddie had widened the tapestry of my life so much... There was no way I'd want to desert him ever."

Later, she married a businessman called Nicholas Holford on Long Island, without telling anyone, with just Mary’s two sons, Richard and Jamie, by their side. This relationship only lasted five years.

She also started a foundation in Mercury's memory, and also continues to support Queen's musical efforts. She continues to live quietly in the mansion, but occasionally grants interviews.

[saigonharrington]

boyfriend pt.2 //g.w

Hey guys! Everyday there’s more and more of you and it makes my heart warm 🤧🥰

Would you want me to write for someone else instead of George? I think i could try either boys and girls from hp and teen wolf universes

Now let’s move on to the fic

If anyone somehow got there before reading the first part I’ll put the link here

it’s 2.7k words if my word counter is right haha

warnings: some kind of mental breakdown? mentions of eating in public

by the way I think I messed some things up there, hope you don’t mind that not everything is well explained

+ i would really appreciate your reblogs and comments it helps me so much to reach to other readers! thank you

———————————

A month passed by, having everything blurred thanks for tears streaming down your face almost every day. That means until you were too weak to dehydrate your body anymore. You didn’t even know what was the main reason for your mood. You saw your boyfriend cheating, but was it really hurting you the most? Being in a relationship with Adrian for only two months, and despite his not-the-best reputation, you still thought that he’ll turn out to be different. It was stupid to believe in, but you, having a massive crush on him, was oblivious as hell. Still, the biggest issue was your friend, George Weasley. Or maybe you shouldn’t use that word while describing him, since you have not spoken to him after the Yule ball night. Things turned out to be just as you said, hearing unpleasant things about your appearance, your character, and your actions was on the daily basis. Gossiping was one issue, but the second problem was definitely worse. Your friends turned away from you. It took a couple of days to make girls talk to you again since they only heard George’s version of what happened that night. Even though you talked to them, the rest of the squad was not fond of your presence, especially Fred, who looked like he wanted to kill you for hurting his brother. Because of that, you mostly spend time with yourself only. Eating out in public became torture, since all the people you talked to, didn’t want to speak to you, so you sat alone, wanting to finish the dish as fast as you could. From time to time, one of three girls came to you for a little talk, but when they saw you, looking like a ghost, they wished they could go back to the group. They were not the best at consoling, it was easy to say, and you, not wanting them to feel pushed to talk to you, let them go. If you’re sad, that doesn’t mean that they should be sad with you, right?

That whole situation made your grades way worse than you thought they could be. You have been forced to study with the Hufflepuff girl named Emily, to get you back on track.

“ Y/N, have you heard what I asked you? You should focus if you want to pass that exam.” She said, trying to get my attention. “But first, tell me, what’s bothering you?”

When you heard this phrase, you explained everything in details. You wanted to speak with someone who wouldn’t defend George’s action and who wouldn’t mention his feelings towards you every five damn minutes. All you wished for is a person who could understand the situation, hearing the story only from your point of view, because your friends, even though they wanted what’s best for you, have focused too much on his feelings, not yours.

“You’re right, Y/N. It’s not your fault. But it isn’t fully his fault either. And by the way, pushing your friends away from you won’t solve any problems. What you should do is talk to them about your feelings, if they are real ones, they won’t leave you. And talk to that George boy. I think he is the right person, I’ve always seen those gingers next to you for the past couple of years, you can’t end a friendship that lasted years just because he admitted his feelings. It’s been a month since you guys talked, and I do not see the problem because you’re now single.”

“Are you suggesting that I should move on quickly and just hop into the next relationship? Don’t want to disappoint you, but I’m not one of those who heal from one romance by jumping into another.”

“But you still can talk to him and personally I think that maybe you like him. Like a little too much. That’s why it hurt you because he could’ve confessed his feelings earlier, then you and Pucey wouldn’t be a thing, you wouldn’t be cheated on, and everything would look like from some unrealistic fairy tale.”

“I hate you.” You mumbled, pulling your head deep in the pillow.

“Cause it’s true?” She asked, but you weren’t able to explain, so you just nodded in response.

“How can one be so genius, and I’m not talking about grades wise, but emotions.”

“Um I don’t know if you’re complimenting me or George.” She started laughing. “Either way, thank you. Now let’s go, you’re going to talk with your friends.”

“Now?” You panicked. “We were supposed to be studying now. I’ll do it tomorrow, I swear.” You promised, knowing that it would be too much for today.

“But I’m going with you. I don’t trust you, Y/N.” She added, punching you in the arm.

You two were studying the History of magic until you started yawning every three minutes. Emily was kind enough to let you rest, reminding you that tomorrow is a big day. These words did not help you at all, struggled with sleeping, overthinking about what you should say when you’ll confront your friend. Were you ready for that conversation? What if he doesn’t love you anymore? What if he moved on, and now you’re going to admit your feelings at the wrong time? But how can you know the answers if you are not going to talk to him? You have to do this. Even if it’s going to be painful, this case needs to be closed.

The night seemed to last for too short because you barely closed your eyes when all the girls from your dormitory started waking up. They were surprised that you’re awake, you couldn’t find the courage to admit that you weren’t sleeping at all. The lack of sleep made you feel like you were drunk, not responding to any of the questions that Angelina and Alicia asked you. Your friends left the dorm shortly before you came back to reality, slowly starting to get yourself ready for this day. Unexpectedly Emily waited for you at the door to your common room, which was very nice, but you were so stressed, that her presence made it only worse. You knew, that you have to do it, and she won’t let you run away and hide from George. It was quite strange that she was so invested in this whole situation, considering that you two knew yourselves for not a long time, and your conversations were focused mainly on studying. Maybe it was the beginning of an amazing friendship? You couldn’t avoid her, not after she was so kind and sympathetic. She wanted to help you and you knew that she’s right about everything.

While wandering through the halls, both of you looked for that one specific person. The school wasn’t full of tall gingers, but the fact that this morning everywhere was a little overcrowded, made it hard for you to reach him. In fact, you couldn’t make it. He was walking alone, however, it occurred to you that he is searching for someone since he kept his head up. You thought that you lost him, no longer seeing the back of his head, but Emily noticed that he turned right, so you went after him. This corridor was almost empty, the majority of Hogwarts students started their lessons, besides you and Emily, there was only George and some girl miles away from you. Emily grabbed your arm and made you hide behind the column, trying not to make it obvious that you both were following him.

“Y/N, I don’t want to make you sad, but it looks like these two were kissing. I’m so sorry honey. Either way, you should talk to him when you feel ready. It’s not worth it, losing a friend.” She mumbled, trying to sound wise, but you saw that she wasn’t so sure about these words.

“It’s fine, Emily. Guess I don’t have the luck in love.” You attempted to joke, holding back your tears. It felt like a real nightmare. Your last boyfriend was a cheater and now, when you were able to love again, finally brave enough to admit that you felt the same as George, it was too fucking late. Your new friend tried to comfort you, slowly walking back to the dormitory.

“Do you want me to go with you?” She asked, worried about your well-being. All you wished for is to be alone, telling her that you’ll head to your bed to calm yourself down. “I understand honey, I’ll tell your head of the house that you’re sick, so you won’t have to attend today’s lessons. It’s going to be okay, I know that.” Emily added, hugging you tightly, yet tender, not wanting to shatter you. After landing on your cold duvet, you realized that you’re feeling too weak to cry. So you sat there, thinking about everything that recently happened, forcing yourself to break down, because it always helped to clear your mind. Unfortunately, your mind was going crazy, reminding you at once of every moment spent with George. Having different emotions and feeling confused, you managed to fall asleep. You woke up a little dizzy, deciding that you’re gonna attend Care of magical creatures class. That time of sleep made you so relaxed and cleared your mind, convincing you to wake up and not worry about anything for once. You felt like you had nothing to lose, after losing your friends, boyfriend and happiness, sitting in your bed for the rest of the day would not solve anything. And you can not avoid lessons, because your future depends on them.

It took you only ten minutes to dress properly, comb your hair and brush your teeth, so you weren’t late for the class. After welcoming Hagrid, you started to look for Emily, knowing that she was worried about you, so you should explain to her why you decided to come.

“Y/N, I’m so excited that you came, I’ve just talked to Hagrid, and he said that we’re working in pairs today! He chose who’s going to work together, but I might’ve said to him something about you and the Weasley boy, hoping that he’ll put you with him.” She explained to you the whole plan, winking at you from time to time.

She wanted what’s best for you, but it turned out that Fred Weasley was your pair, making you even more anxious, knowing that he hated you for the way you treated his brother after confessions. You tried not to speak or make the first move, but you were so curious what was happening in their life. After all, you were friends for a long time, you couldn’t blame yourself for wanting to get in touch.

“Fred, can we talk? You asked politely, sounding official.

“You mean argue? Cause that’s how you talked with my brother.” He replied rudely.

“You’re making it harder than it is.” You sighed, wanting to change the topic. “I wanted you guys to know that I’m really sorry about that night. I truly do. I know that I can’t change the past, but could we be friends again? I don’t want to sit alone anymore. I’ve made a mistake which I’m going to solve. Please say something.”

“I was angry at you, that’s true, but let’s forget it. Besides, you don’t own me any apology. Talk to him.” He pointed at George, who was paired with Emily, due to Hagrid’s and hers understatement, not having the ability to tell twins apart.

“What do you want me to say to him? I know that he has moved on, I don’t want to create chaos. I think me and him need a little more time to heal.” You admitted, not being happy about what came from your mouth, because it was true.

“Are you mad? George is still single. And he met today only with Katie, but they weren’t kissing. In fact, she slapped him because he couldn’t find the courage to talk to you again. Maybe you saw her leaning to hit him, or checking if she hurt him? I don’t know, don’t ask me.” He looked at you confused, you frowned and noticed that Emily is trying to get your attention. She mouthed that she was wrong and encouraged you to come to them. You didn’t want to, knowing that Hagrid would be asking if something is wrong. You stayed quiet after this, wanting to sort things out.

“Move, Y/N. We’re switching.” The Hufflepuff girl almost yelled at you, seeing that you had zoned out and didn’t hear her previous words. “Hey Freddie.” She winked flirtatiously at him, knowing that she was finally able to tell differences between him and George. “And you, Y/N, go on, your Lover boy is waiting.” She made you go, as you stared at the younger twin, who was talking, or, more like, doing a monologue to the poor, tiny bowtruckle.

“George.” You attempted to get his attention. “I think there’s something we need to talk about.” You added, moving a little closer.

“I think I made everything clear a month ago.” He whispered, not stopping what he was doing. “Nothing changed.”

He still loved you. You couldn’t believe what you heard, because you thought that you broke his heart, what would make a conversation a little harder.

“But aren’t you curious about my feeling towards you?” You mumbled, wishing you were more confident. He raised his gaze, therefore you could see hope in his eyes. “Nothing changed.” You added teasingly, but he was not enjoying it. “Actually, one thing changed. I realized that I might fancy someone, however I was too scared to tell him years ago. I got in a relationship with someone else, thinking that then these feelings will disappear. What an idiotic girl I was. They grew stronger and stronger, making me and my love interest hurt each other. It’s crazy, isn’t it? Now that stupid lass is standing there, next to him, believing that after a whole month of avoiding one another, they could start again?”

“Class dismissed.” Hagrid interfered your monologue, making everyone leave. You sighed, happy that this conversation won’t be heard any more by some random people.

“Will you say something?” You asked, worried that George was quiet for that long and wasn’t even looking at you. “I’ll understand if you will say no. I hurt you and it may take some time to recover. I totally get that. You were waiting for me for many months, I can take a couple more. Just wanted to inform you that I’m reciprocating your feelings.”

You stared at him, waiting patiently for his response. His face looked like he was going to swoon, tears appearing in his brown eyes.

“Are you crying?” You asked rhetorically, wanting to know what’s going on.

“I sure am.” He replied, rubbing his eyes. “I simply can not believe in what you said, Y/N. I have tears in my eyes because I’ve blinked way too much, convinced that it’s a dream. Pinch me, please. Maybe this method will work.” He smiled at you, yet you could not do what he asked you to. you hugged him instead, humming quietly.

“I was waiting for this one.” You looked in his eyes, getting shyer, so you hid your head in his robes.

“I was waiting for something different.” He confessed, taking you by your chin, making you meet his eyes once again. “May I?” Asking for permission, and getting a nod in reply, he leaned closer to kiss your lips. You felt amazing, yet a little different than a month ago. Because now, that was what both of you wanted. And this time, you did not care about what other people say. Now that you found each other at the right time, nothing could ruin your mood, especially not the gossips, feeling proud of yourself for being that interested that people chose to focus more on you rather than on themselves.

“We should thank Emily for that.” You murmured, taking his hand. Remembering that you have a lot to tell your friends. Also, you’ll make them promise, that no personal disagreements will come between you. Things started to seem right, because you finally had the right person by your side.

“We’ll do it after she stops snogging with Fred.” George replied, looking at the pair, sitting on a bench. “Y/N, get yourself ready for double dates with these two.” He added, making you officially his girlfriend.

[dontshootmespence]

Through It All

Part 14

Summary: Now married, Spencer & Y/N navigate the D/s lifestyle. How will their relationship change?

Words: 1,966

Warnings: Lactation kink, fingering, nipping.

A/N: My next entry for @cm-kinkbingo​ run by my beautiful girlfriend @heycasbutt​. This fulfills my lactation kink square.

In the warm sunlight streaming through your window, you can feel Spencer’s arm fitting snugly around your waist, holding you close. As you begin to stir, you realize he’s already awake too. Since it’s a weekend day, you have no plans, aside from taking care of the adorable time-vampire that is Charlotte Magnolia Reid. “So what are we doing today, handsome?” You mumble, the words barely decipherable to your own ears.

Spencer kisses the back of your hair before nuzzling his nose into the side of your neck. It tickles and sends you into a fit of laughter that ends up with you laying on top of him. “We aren’t doing anything,” he says with a glint in his eyes. “But you are.”

“What?”

Is it mom brain fog? Have you forgotten something you had planned?

When Spencer clocks your quizzical look, he laughs. “I have a surprise for you. You have to be ready by 11 AM.”

Spencer playfully smacks your ass when you get up before following you to the bathroom, where you get in one of your rare shower quickies. And Charlotte hasn’t woken up yet! Rejoice! She’s not sleeping through the night just yet, but she’s down to only waking up once or occasionally twice.

While you dry your hair, Spencer gets Charlotte, who finally begins to stir. They pass the bathroom and you sneak a kiss to your baby’s cheek. “I’ll be right there for feeding!” You cry out from the tiled walls.

“There’s a bottle left in the refrigerator, I got it!”

Since you have no idea where you’ll be going, you put on minimal makeup and then walk outside to where Spencer’s feeding Charlotte on the couch, talking to her about the people passing by on the street below - making up stories about them. “Babe, I don’t know where I’m going so what do I wear?”

“Wear one of my graphic tees and your most comfortable pair of leggings.”

With your instructions, you slip into your bedroom and get dressed. Spencer’s shirt is a tad too tight considering the girls are still big, but it’s good enough and the next few hours pass without any major incidents aside from a bit of spit up on Spencer’s pajama shirt.

As you’re rocking Charlotte to a mid-morning nap, there’s a knock at the door. “I’ve got it,” Spencer replies when he sees you go to get up.

Emily, Tara, Penelope and JJ are plowing inside in a matter of seconds, cooing over ‘little baby genius Reid.’ “Good god,” Tara says softly. “She’s so beautiful. How do you two not stare at her every second of every day?”

Sometimes it’s difficult, with her soft brown hair like her father’s and big beautiful eyes the same color as yours. “Well, some days, we do exactly that, and other days she doesn’t want to sleep or she’s sick and driving me crazy, so then I normally see the inside of the pillow into which I’m screaming,” you say quickly, flashing them a cheesy grin.

JJ snorts. It’s been a while, but she remembers the feeling well. “Did Spence tell you what we’re doing today?”

Shaking your head, you glance toward where Spencer’s standing in the kitchen, gathering ingredients together that seem to be for tonight’s dinner. “Paint and wine class,” he says proudly. “After I saw you painting Charlotte’s nursery, I knew it had to be done eventually.”

“Aww, you’re so romantic, I love you.” You swoon and run to kiss him, blushing as the girls ooh and ahh over Spencer’s sweet gesture. He’s your everything in every way. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

Spencer takes her from your arms and looks down to talk to her, shaking her little hand with his fingers. “We’ll be okay, right? You won’t kill me?”

Laughing, you grab your purse off the counter and give him another kiss before leaving with the girls. It’s been ages.

--

Thankfully, Dr. Obel cleared you a while ago for the occasional cup of coffee or glass of wine, despite still breastfeeding, so you nurse the hell out of a glass of red at the painting party. Besides you, Emily, Tara, JJ and Penelope, there are four other women there that know each other and are much less animated. In other circumstances, you might feel bad about being so loud and laughing like a maniac, but you haven’t had a girls’ day out in months, so fuck it.

At these classes, they always have someone teaching and a specific painting is chosen ahead of time. After a while of listening to the instructor, you paint what she’s painting, but at your speed and adding little flourishes here and there. While most of the ladies have basic paintings (because admittedly they’d rather be drinking than painting), you end up with something you’re really happy with.

Shadowed pine trees sit on a moonlit lake, stars, trees and the moon alike mirrored in the lake’s surface in a myriad of colors. Bob Ross is one of your biggest influences when it comes to painting, and by the end, it feels like you’ve done him proud. “Damn, Y/N!” Emily says, taking the last sip of her third (and last) glass of wine. “Spencer said you could paint, but that’s fucking spectacular!”

All the ladies, and even the instructor, praise your work. At first, you deny it and tell them it’s not all that, but eventually you allow yourself the praise. Something you’re working on. “Ladies, this was amazing. Can we make this like an every other month thing? Every third month?”

“Hell, yea,” Penelope says, quickly picking up one of the hors d'oeuvres and shoving it into her mouth. “Man, thith iz gud.”

“Sewiously, I ‘eed the recipe,” Tara replies with her mouth equally full.

The subway ride back to your apartment is filled with random girl talk and lots of baby talk. Everyone wants to know Charlotte’s milestones and to see every single picture you’ve ever taken, which is already a lot given she’s less than a year.

Upstairs, you all walk in just as Charlotte needs a diaper change. When Emily and Tara offer to take dirty diaper detail, you just smile and sink into the couch. You’re not about to argue with just a little extra time off mom duty.

“Well, this was amazing,” JJ says, running her finger down Charlotte’s cheek. “You guys need anything? All set on food and stuff?”

“Yea, JJ,” Spencer replies. “We’re all good. For now.”

Once the ladies leave, you gather Charlotte close to your chest and lift your shirt. The time away refueled your batteries and you sigh happily when she begins to eat.

“Have a good time?” Spencer asks. You point back to the painting which is propped against the wall near the door. “That’s beautiful!”

“Thanks, babe. And thanks for the surprise. It was really nice to have a girls’ day.”

Spencer’s hand sits around your shoulder, his fingers slipping delicately into your hair. “I’m glad you had a good time. I have my girls right here.”

“Did you two fare okay?”

He nods and you both sit in silence for a moment. You lean into him, content and relaxed. The peaceful atmosphere allows your mind to wander and when you mind wanders, it tends to walk into dirty territory; today is no different. “Hey, Spence, I have what might seem like a weird question.”

“Shoot.”

“Have you ever thought about you know, maybe doing that wonderful thing you do with your hands while getting a firsthand taste of breast milk?”

Immediately, his pants tighten. “I hate the fact that it has been a consistent thought since your  boobs grew, yea. Definitely thought about it. Like I don’t wanna sit here and have you feed me or anything, but like...a little taste? Yea.”

“Wanna maybe give it a go later?”

A smile is all the answer you need.

---

Later that night, once Charlotte is finally asleep, you and Spencer practically trip into your bedroom, peeling off clothing like you’re in a nudist colony.

Spencer groans appreciatively when you jump into his arms and peel off your shirt and bra. He carries you toward the bed and plops you down onto the mattress unceremoniously, laughing as he wriggles you out of your leggings.

When he descends upon you, eyes hungry and hands frenzied, your smile fades into a lust-filled gaze that has Spencer nipping at your neck and chin and lips. “God, you’re gorgeous,” he mumbles against you, honeyed voice running deliciously up your spine. For a moment you get in your head; you don’t feel gorgeous as of late, still a ways away from your pre-baby body, but Spencer snuffs that thought out of your head. “Stop thinking and feel.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He slithers his way down your body and licks a stripe up your slit with a flattened tongue, moaning at your taste before slipping two fingers into your sodden pussy. “So wet for me already?”

“Always for you, Sir.”

Spreading your legs with his hands, he crawls back up, nipping and biting and sucking at any and every patch of skin that pleases him. And all you have to do is lay back and enjoy it and he calls you his good girl.

When he latches onto your nipple, the tug on your breast is similar but the feeling is altogether different. The way he rolls his tongue over your nipple causes you to arch into him, gathering his hair in your hand and pushing him closer. Every time he nips at your nipples, bringing them to taut peaks, it shoots straight to your core and you buck into his hand. “So wet, Sir.”

“Does this get you off, love?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Excuse you,” he says, immediately stilling his fingers.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Why?”

“Because it feels wrong. Taboo.”

“And that gets you off?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“My dirty girl.”

Switching from nipple to nipple, never leaving one untouched for too long, his fingers stroke at that sensitive spot inside you. You buck down into his hand and reach between you, slipping your hands into his pants to stroke softly at his hardening cock. “Come for me, Y/N,” he breathes, his palm sitting heavily on your clit. “I want you to come for me.”

His words ignite a fire inside you, white hot light bursting before your eyes as he latches onto your nipple one last time. “Fuck, Sir,” you laugh shakily, stroking his cock harder and faster. “Now, come for me. I need to see you.”

Spencer bites down on your lower lip and pulls away, hissing through clenched teeth as his orgasm starts to roll over him. “That’s it, baby. Harder. Keep going.”

All you can hear over the sound of your movements, wet and slick and rough, is the rolling growl that leaves Spencer’s mouth when he comes in your hand and over both your stomachs. “Shit.”

“Have fun?”

“Yes,” he laughs, exhaustedly collapsing at your side. “You feeling okay? You were getting in your head for a second. I could feel it.”

“Yea, still having body issues. But I’m working on it.”

“I have an exercise for you to do. Not physical,” he says quickly. “A self love one. Every morning when we get up, I want you to look in the mirror and say one thing you like about yourself. You can start with things that aren’t physical and then work up to physical.”

A sleepy, content smile spreads across your face. This is the dynamic you always wanted - someone you could rely on in every single way. Even at your lowest, your craziest, your most overwhelmed, Spencer is there for you, telling you how beautiful you are as you drift off in his arms.

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[ghost-in-the-stalls]

Neil Josten's Playlist Part 1: Andrew

Masterpost and link to the playlist in its entirety

These songs are going to be the biggest chunk of the playlist. Are we surprised?

Okay here we go:

1. Take Me To Church - Hozier

I was not joking about Neil being a Hozier fan. You cannot tell me this boy doesn’t hear this song on the radio and immediately think of Andrew. Every time it came on he’d make sure the radio stayed on the station so he could listen all the way through. It got overplayed but he’s probably the only person in the world who never got sick of it at the time. He got used to listening to the same songs over and over again with his mom, so he's even comforted by repeating songs now.

5. Stay - Rihanna & Mikky Ekko

So one night, after several nightmares within the span of a few hours, Neil wasn’t too proud to admit that he absolutely wasn’t going to get any decent sleep that night. Andrew took him on a long drive without even having to be asked. The silence was shoving Neil even further into his thoughts, so Andrew turned on the radio. He settled on a station that was playing softer music that Neil probably wouldn’t hate, and he just kept driving. Once this song came on, Neil became enamored with it. It’s another one of those songs that makes him think of Andrew, but it’s more because he listens to the lyrics and realizes Andrew has said half of these things to him. It’s now a song that, even years later when he and Andrew are living in separate states and desperately trying to land contracts with the same team, Neil listens to on bad nights.

6. River - Bishop Briggs

Listen... this is just another really solid Andreil song.......... and I’m absolutely positive this is a song that Neil would like. Let me have this.

For Neil everything with Andrew is simultaneously loud and quiet and intense and gentle and hard and soft. He’s never known someone to make him feel so much yet calm him down from panic to nothing so smoothly. Even their intimacy holds so much complexity and weight to it. This is a song I feel like Andrew introduced him to, because it absolutely makes him think of Neil too (not that he'd say that out loud).

8. Dreams - The Cranberries

Renee likes the Cranberries and she got Andrew into them too. Andrew pretends this song doesn’t make him think about Neil but no one is actually fooled by that when they catch him listening to it. Least of all Neil because he feels the same thing listening to the lyrics. Not much explanation past that. Neil vibes with this song right from the opening lyrics (”Oh, my life is changing every day in every possible way”), to the comparison of a lover to a dream (he still remembers when Andrew called him a pipedream, even if he didn’t understand at the time), to the vocal breaks in the middle and at the end where it just sounds like someone singing their soul right out of their body.

Neil is a private person and not someone to ever scream his love from rooftops. But that doesn’t mean the concept doesn’t hit him deep. He’s been through a lot and he’s come out the other end with a love of his own that’s deeper and more than anything he ever imagined. His lack of expressing passion about most things (Andrew) doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel incredibly passionate about certain things in a way that cuts deep. He found love and it’s incredible

12. Easily - Bruno Major

I've mentioned this previously, but I hc that Andrew and Neil almost broke up in Neil’s last year at Palmetto. Not going to get into it, but this song had a big part in pulling Neil through that whole year, ESPECIALLY the situation with Andrew. Maybe I’ll make a separate, more detailed post about that sometime. But basically I hc that neither of them were in good spots emotionally. And Andrew was very close to giving up on everything - including Neil.

They managed to pull through and stop one another from giving up on it all, even when things got really hard.

15. Sunlight - Hozier

No I’m not done with the Hozier songs. Did I say I was done with the Hozier songs? Not gonna happen.

Anyway so the story of this song is he was talking with Allison and Nicky once about music and their SOs (well he was listening more than talking but he wasn’t ignoring them), and Nicky outright asked him if there was a song that made him think of Andrew. He’d heard this one for the first time recently and it was just the most recent of many songs that make him think of Andrew, so he threw it out there to humor them. They hadn’t heard it but were very doubtful that any song titled “Sunlight” could have anything to do with Andrew at all, so he showed it to them. They didn’t really change their minds and instead Allison went on another tirade about how Neil is gone for Andrew in a way that Andrew couldn’t possibly be for him and how she was worried for him. Nicky stood up for his cousin a bit, but ultimately was still agreeing with Allison to a degree that Neil may be expecting more than what Andrew could give him blah, blah, blah.

Neil wasn’t happy. Instead he found himself latching onto this song even further and becoming even more assured that it was a song for Andrew. Just because the others refused to understand who Andrew really is and the ways he’s learning to grow and heal and the fact that he’s someone worth loving god dammit, doesn’t mean Andrew is the monster they make him out to be.

For a while afterwards, he’ll put this song on if he’s ever given the aux cord. Because he’s petty. If Andrew catches on to what he’s trying to do, he never says anything.

19. Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

This is definitely a song that makes Neil think of Andrew, though he'd never tell him that. They have both played both parts in this song, and it makes Neil's heart ache to think of all the bad nights that they weren't there for one another - whether it was distance or stubbornness or just general shitty circumstance. They both can get so trapped in their own heads in different (and sometimes similar) ways, and they're relationship has really been built in a lot of ways on the depth of emotional support they've learned to give one another in rough times. That steadiness, that presence that stays by you and keeps you grounded even when you want to crawl out of your own skin and hide somewhere far away. That is what they give one another.

24. Day After Day - Badfinger

This is another one he used to listen to with his mother, but he didn't really latch onto it until his final year at Palmetto when he and Andrew were doing long-distance. He learned in that year just how sentimental he had become in some ways. He finds it in the bone-deep longing he gets on late nights when he just wishes he could lie in bed next to Andrew - because he knew that's when he sleeps best. He'd listen to this song and let himself wallow for a little while, and then eventually put it away and carry on because he didn't have the time to slow down and feel things too hard.

Things are much better now and he doesn't feel as bad when he listens to the song. It's just a pleasant sound he leans into sometimes.

26. Don't Dream It's Over - Crowded House

This is another one that he first heard from his mother, but kept for himself without allowing it to be stained with her memory. It is one of those ones he listened to a great deal during his last year when things with Andrew got hard. He committed himself to not letting him go or breaking off what they had unless Andrew ever directly asked him to. He couldn't find it in himself to ever do that.

This song reminds him of that commitment and helps him stay strong with it, for better or worse. Everyone was convinced from the beginning that either Neil was bad for Andrew (Aaron) or Andrew was bad for Neil (everyone else except Renee and Nicky basically). This reminds him that he knows Andrew better. He knows HIMSELF better. He knows they aren't perfect, but he refuses to let himself fall into their blocked mentality where they choose to be blind to the reality of Andrew's character (or his own for that matter). He knows they are good together. He knows they help one another, they don't hold each other back. And he refuses to give up on them unless Andrew asks him to.

28. How Deep Is Your Love - The Bird and The Bee

This is another final-year-at-Palmetto one. He stumbles across this song while listening to one of Robin's playlists while he was driving her to practice. Listen to the lyrics and hear just how Andreil this song is. It fits so well, and Neil has to pull over and collect himself for a moment when he first hears it. It had been an especially rough week and he'd been struggling trying to balance giving Andrew space and support with communicating his own needs. This gives him the push he needs. He calls him later that night to talk and their time apart starts getting a bit more bearable for it.

29. TALK ME DOWN - Troye Sivan

This was Andrew's song that made him think of Neil. In every way. He found it while they were doing long distance. Neil first heard it on a midnight drive they took while he was visiting Andrew. They didn't say anything, but they didn't need to. Neil eventually asked him why he listens to this one when his taste is usually much louder stuff. He was expecting a stoically-delivered joke denying any potential relation to Neil or a comment about how Nicky got it stuck in his head or something while they were video chatting one weekend. Instead, Andrew just responded "You know why."

Neil stored the song away to listen to later on when they were once again sleeping in separate beds in separate states, knowing Andrew was probably listening to it as well.

38. Talking Bird - Death Cab for Cutie

Neil doesn't know why this song makes him emotional (yes he does). He doesn't know what it is about it that feels like it cuts so deep (it's because Andrew sent it to him). He doesn't get why Andrew showed it to him (it's because Andrew asked him to stay, but would never force him to if he ever did decide to run). He just listens and feels comforted.

44. I'm so Tired - Lauv & Troye Sivan

This is another one Neil found when he and Andrew were doing long distance. It was a bit of a rocky time for them and there were several of those make-or-break moments. You know, the kind any relationship has where you either pull through it together and are stronger for it, or end things where they are and go your separate ways. I imagine - during a particularly rough patch - Neil heard this song from one of his underclassmen roommates. He was thinking about Andrew (when is he not) and part of him wondered if Andrew was better off finding guys in bars to take home and have no connection to. It was a spiteful moment of self-pity that he let himself indulge in before coming to his senses and giving Andrew a call to smooth things over a bit.

He still listens back to the song sometimes. It has a nice, soft, smooth feeling to it. Now when he listens to it, he finds himself focusing more on the singer asking their lover to take them home so they can move forward because they're too tired to fight. He remembers how, when he and Andrew have reached that point, they've continuously chosen to fall back to one another instead of pulling away. It's a very comforting thought for him.

45. NFWMB - Hozier

I don't even know if I have to explain this one.

There are a lot of things that Andrew and Neil see in one another, but I think one major thing is how strong they both are in their own ways. Neither of them are someone you want to fuck with. This song is perfect for that.

And, once again I will say, Neil is a Hozier fan and I'll die on this hill.

50. It Will Come Back - Hozier

Another Hozier song look at that

Anyway this is song encapsulates exactly how Andrew feels about Neil repeatedly choosing Andrew (at least, how he feels about it in the beginning of their relationship). And Neil isn't blind to this at all. What he also isn't blind to (but that he knows Andrew forgets sometimes) is how Neil is also the stray Andrew showed too much kindness. Andrew is as stuck with Neil as Neil is making himself stuck with Andrew.

51. Love Lies - Khalid & Normani

If asked why he likes this song, he'd say it's because Matt showed it to him and it reminds him of Matt and Dan's inspiring relationship. There are very few people he'd admit the truth to.

Something about the song feels too typical and approachable to admit applying to him and Andrew. They don't have a "normal" relationship and there are a lot of norms they don't stick to. Neither of them are ashamed of that in any capacity (as they absolutely shouldn't be), and ultimately it just feels very strange to them both to consider what's between them as being on the same level of what other's have. Not necessarily in a better-worse context, more just an acknowledgment of stark differences.

But I think Neil also experiences a certain level of comfort when he catches himself relating to other "normal" people. So when he finds himself thinking of Andrew when he hears this song, he's not going to ignore that or let it go. He may, however, keep it to himself for a while. It just feels nice to do that.

72. 99 Luftballons - Nena

As a general rule, Neil doesn't like loud music. This one is an exception (though "loud" may be a bit of a stretch here) because he once got to hear Andrew singing along to it in the car late at night.

Andrew does that sometimes, sings along to songs when it's just him and Neil. It's never with a great deal of gusto or volume, more so just a soft mumble on a late night drive to ground them both. This song came on on a particularly rough night, but by the end of it Andrew was singing along louder than he ever did. Still not saying much, but it was a noticeable change to Neil.

Neil knows he was allowed to see something special that night - Andrew allowing himself to let out something he was feeling. Neil got to see Andrew in what amounts to a moment of vulnerability for him. It means the world to him.

74. Gooey - Glass Animals

This song makes Neil feel the way Andrew makes him feel. There's no other way to describe it. When it's just the two of them and they have moments of quiet intimacy, there's a specific feeling Neil starts getting - float-y but secure. Like he'd drift away if it weren't for an invisible string Andrew was holding.

If Andrew caught Neil humming this song one night as he fell asleep, unaware, he kept quiet about it.

75. Turn - The Wombats

This song Neil keeps because it's one Andrew specifically sent him. He didn't give an explanation, just "for your playlist, rabbit".