#and my cats were giving me grief re: being cats

[your-averagewriter]

"She's my wife."

Summary: Miguel thought you and his daughter died and you thought the same about him but when the truth comes out it makes for an emotional reunion of a small family (I changed Gabriella's age so the story would flow better)

Word count: 1.2K

Warnings: grief, kissing

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Miguel’s eyes focus on the familiar group in front of him on his screen, a video he’s watched only too many times, so many that he can recite the words you say. He counts down the seconds until you walk onto screen watching your reaction to him and Gabriella wearing the matching outfits you bought for them, Gabriella only being about one at the time.

You walk in the room, your hands over your eyes before dropping them and cooing at the adorable scene ahead of you: Gabriella hugging Miguel as he’s wearing a begrudging smile.

When you and Gabriella first died he would re-watch the videos with tears in his eyes, angry tears but now he just watches them with longing in his eyes.

You, however, did not die nor Gabriella but you were accidentally sent to a different reality, leaving Miguel behind, except you thought he died just like he thought you died. In the other reality you had obtained “Spiderman” powers (through the usual way) and made sure that you protected Gabriella with your life for a few years before you’re recruited by some other Spider people who say they’re from another reality.

The concept of different realities is not a foreign one to you but you didn’t realise that there was a whole organisation called the Spider Society set up. 

“Can you go over it again?” You ask, resting your head in your palm, all the science talking making your head hurt.

The Spiderwoman in front of you who you now know as Jessica explains the whole thing to you again, but leaves out the science making it easier to understand and conceptualise.

“And you want me to join?” You ask.

“Yeah, I’ve been monitoring you for a while now and I checked with a couple of colleagues and we decided to invite you. We’ll still have to introduce you to the boss though because we didn’t check with him before talking to you.” She says.

“Okay, I’ll check it out if you can take me wherever it is but I’m not making any promises. And I need to take my daughter with me.” You say, bargaining with the small group.

“That’s totally fine.” She says with a smile, handing me a couple of watches.

“Now?” You ask, surprised about the efficiency.

“Are you busy?” She asks.

“No but I’ll have to get my daughter…” You trail off, moving through the apartment to Gabriella’s room. “Hola, ‘Riella.” You say, using the nickname that Miguel gave her. You give her a brief explanation basically that you had to go somewhere for work and that she had to come as well. 

A few minutes later, you emerge from the room holding a young sleepy girl ready to go. It takes another few minutes to fully explain the portal system and eventually you’re flying through the multiverse staring at all the bright colours, careful to hold on to Gabriella.

Later, you step out of the portal next to Jess, opening your eyes to reveal countless Spidermen and Spiderwomen including animals like a Spider Cat? You question, unsure you’re seeing everything correctly.

You’re quickly led through the building by Jess, clearing used to the craziness of this place as she navigates easily. The people here are friendly enough though as the amount of smiles and “hello”s  you receive is incredible. 

“So, I’m gonna introduce you to my boss, he runs pretty much everything here and he can be a little scary sometimes but don’t worry about it, okay?” You nod, more scared than you were before her reassurance.

She pushes open the door to reveal a slowly lowering platform, a man sat in a chair on the platform. Jess stands in front of mm and it almost seems as though she’s trying to protect you from him which only worries me more.

The platform reaches the floor and the man stands up from the chair not having yet turned around and you can feel my nerves peaking, until he turns around.

Instantly, my eyes widen and I don’t believe I can be seeing things correctly and my reaction is mirrored on his face. I stand frozen to the ground, shocked to my core as I stare at him scanning over his features making sure I’m correct. That’s my husband. My husband who is supposed to be dead.

“So, (y/n), this is-” You interrupt her staring at the man in front of you who’s staring back at you.

“Miguel?” You question quietly causing confusion to arise on Jess’ face.

“Oh, you guys know each other?” Jess asks as you begin to move towards Miguel. 

Holding on to Gabriella gently, you walk towards the man who stands frozen. After he registers your movement he mimics it, walking towards you until you meet in the middle him immediately wrapping his arms around you. You never realised how much you missed the feeling of his arms around you until you feel the warmth and safety he provides you with.

“(y/n)?” He says, questioning you with an unstable voice.

“Yeah.” You say, tears gathering and leaving your eyes as you cling onto his large body.

It stays silent for moments although to you it feels like years, thankfully. After these moments you slowly pull myself away from him,

“I don’t understand how you’re alive but I don’t care right now.” You say raising your hand to his face, stroking over the rough “stubble”, but it’s more like he just forgot to shave for a few days.

You smile through teary eyes, looking up at your husband who towers over you. You get on your tip toes but you’re still not tall enough to reach his lips so you wrap your free hand around the collar of his Spiderman suit, tugging him down to your level and smashing your lips against his. He used to chuckle when you had to pull him down to your level but now he’s just happy to be with you in the moment. The videos combined could never live up to the reality of him having you here with him.

His lips are rough and chapped, not how you remembered and his hands are coarse, the time spent without you had clearly not been a good time. It wasn’t for you, desperately trying to protect and provide for Gabriella without Miguel by your side - it certainly wasn’t easy but it doesn’t matter now because you’re together and now no one will be able to change that ever again.

“So, you do know each other?” Jess says and honestly you forgot she was there but you turn to look at her with a small smile.

“She’s my wife.” Miguel says looking up at her and Jess just looks very confused, previously thinking his wife was dead.

You quickly interrupt, moving Gabriella into his arms watching as she slowly wakes up.

“I’m sure she’s missed you.” You say, quietly watching as his eyes seem to shimmer looking at his daughter for the first time in years.

“I missed you two so much, you have no idea.” He says and you can hear the tears in his wavering voice. “I’m never letting you two go ever again.” He says wrapping his arms around the both of you.

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AN: I hope you enjoyed reading!

I thought I'd try writing in 2nd person, which do you prefer, 1st person or 2nd person?

[temnurus]

LWJ POV Fic Recs

I've done a WWX rec list, so I thought it was about time I made one for Lan Zhan, whom I adore & can never get enough of. The fact that we couldn't see into his head during canon will forever drive me mad, & if this bothers you as much as it does me, boy do I have good news for you! There are not one but two series re-writes from LWJ's POV in this list for your reading pleasure, along with 8 other not-quite-so canon compliant fics that are nevertheless out of this world good. Not gonna lie, people, several of these would make my top 20 if I redid my favorites list today, so I wish you some very happy reading. 😉

he comes in colors by ilip13 (M, 63,596)

Thoughts: The prose was absolutely gorgeous. I loved the author’s writing style, & the way they portrayed how Lan Zhan viewed the world was breathtakingly beautiful. I appreciated the nod in the author’s note about him possibly being read as neurodivergent because I picked up on that, & it felt both familiar & comforting in an I’m-not-so-alone-after-all way. I outright sobbed at some points due to the intensity of the emotions, both Lan Zhan’s & others’.

Wei Ying’s care & consideration for Lan Zhan was very gratifying & lovely to see. The depiction of grief was deeply moving, & the dynamics between all the characters in the story were rich, deep, & very meaningful. This is a new favorite of mine, & I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days after I finished. Fic hangover is very much a possibility with this one, but it will be 100% worth it; I promise you that.

paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 (E, 53,808)

Thoughts: Barely anything hurt in this. Like, you could blink past a minimal amount of anxiety. It was mostly an adorable kid fic in which Lan Zhan very quickly found himself falling for his son’s art teacher. Wei Ying being so desperate to spend more time with both of them was heart-meltingly cute, & I loved how he just slotted so easily into their lives it was like he could’ve been there all along. If you like domesticity & gratuitous fluff, then I urge you to give this one a go. I was thoroughly charmed & added it to my favorites list immediately.

The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67,793)

Thoughts: This was absolutely fantastic. I crave Lan Zhan POVs, & a fic that was basically canon from his perspective was very much on my wish list. I was so excited when I found it, & I devoured it in a day. The tags that serve as trigger warnings are all referring to events in canon, so there’s not really much that’s going to be a surprise in that respect. If you handled canon, then I think you’d probably be fine to read this fic. I loved the explanation for Lan Zhan’s difficulty with words being selective mutism. It’s the second fic I’ve read with that idea, & I’ve loved both of them. I highly recommend this. It’s definitely been added to my favorites list.

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143,609)

Thoughts: This was one of the best modern AUs for Wangxian I’ve ever read. It hooked me from the very beginning, & I absolutely melted at how sweet & caring Lan Zhan was when Wei Ying invaded his house in a panic while trying to escape from the dog that was chasing him. His cat Bunny (so cute) was a love muffin & such a comfort in the moment. The dynamics between the neighborhood help squad Lan Zhan contacted to assist with the dog & its overwhelmed owners were also incredibly heartwarming. This fic expanded beyond a love story into a lesson on the importance of community & treating each other with kindness. I can’t recommend this highly enough. I already know it’s going to be a consistent reread for me. It really is just that good.

When the Lights Come Up by brooklinegirl (E, 50,012) Thoughts: This is more Notting Hill inspired/adjacent than strictly following that story, for which I was actually quite grateful, as there were parts of Notting Hill I wouldn’t have cared for or felt fit Wangxian’s dynamic. I loved Lan Zhan’s characterization in this so, so much. Actually, I enjoyed pretty much everyone’s characterization, even down to side characters like Lan Huan & Nie Huaisang. Wangxian’s chemistry in this was spectacular, & the yearning was FELT. I got so anxious & heartbroken during the angsty bits, but as always, brooklinegirl delivered on that happy ending with aplomb. As someone with ADHD, I lamented the lack of chapters for good stopping places, but this is a minor personal quibble & by no means takes away from the overall brilliance of the work.

Where You Fell by Sweet_William (E, 303,010)

Thoughts: The angst was REAL in this fic, y’all. The intensity of Lan Zhan’s feelings is one of my favorite things about him, & that aspect of his character was fully realized here. I cried like a baby several times in this fic. I probably lost count, to be honest. Wei Ying being homeless & begrudgingly allowing Lan Zhan to help him in small ways at first nearly broke my heart, & then it absolutely shattered into a million pieces when the story hit peak angst later on. Tissues were a necessity, but I promise you that it was all worth it in the end. The slow burn was fantastic & so, so satisfying when they finally got their happy ending. They certainly deserved it. It was very overdue!

to hold the wind by androids_fighting93 (E, 62,474)

Thoughts: I was very excited to read another Wangxian soulmates AU, & this one was particularly interesting with the execution. The first time soulmates touched they remembered a scene from their past lives together. This of course offered a wealth of opportunity for angst with the quality of the memories Wangxian would have of theirs, & it delivered exactly that.

The slow burn was torture, & I cried at a couple of different points, particularly at Lan Zhan stifling his own feelings in order to respect Wei Ying’s boundaries regarding not wanting to remember. This fic also made me incandescently angry at Jiang Fengmian & Madam Yu for being such shitty foster parents & utterly failing Wei Ying (not that it was a new feeling, heh). He got his happy ending eventually, thank fuck, because we all know I couldn’t possibly accept anything less.

And He Knew Those Silver Eyes Were Trouble by PieceofLove (E, 311,140)

Thoughts: This is basically a series rewrite of The Untamed from Lan Zhan’s POV, though the author does mix book canon in as well, like the Phoenix Mountain kiss, etc. It’s the second I’ve read, though much longer than the first & not quite as well written but only because the bar was set so high by the first! I very much enjoyed this fic. I binged it within a few days, & that’s not bad for a little over 300k. The author clearly adored Lan Zhan (as they should), so it was fun to get their take on his side of the story. I’d absolutely recommend it as worth reading, even if I still like The Price of Old Wishes best of all the Lan Zhan POV rewrites of the series I've read so far.

Adventures in Pet Sitting by raitala (E, 63,003)

Thoughts: Wei Ying was a surprise extra roommate for Lan Zhan when he showed up to his brother’s apartment to pet sit. This was the first fic I’ve read that featured Lan Zhan as the one who was under the misapprehension that he was straight due compulsory heterosexuality. Usually I see Wei Ying placed in that position, so it was an interesting change of pace.

I loved how awkward things were at first & how it built up over time with the intense sexual tension between Lan Zhan & Wei Ying. One of my favorite scenes pre Lan Zhan’s self realization earned the light dom/sub tag, & I was very jealous of Wei Ying for the experience. That’s all I’ll say so that you can find out for yourself. Nie Huaisang was another highlight of the fic. I loved his meddling & the comic relief he provided amidst the Wangxian shenanigans.

varied my velocity by fantasiavii (E, 58,876)

Thoughts: I adored Lan Zhan in this. I have a soft spot for Lan Zhan POV fics, & this one was really well done. His characterization was just perfect. My heart went out to him for the shame he carried surrounding his sexuality. It made me cry at one point. I also really enjoyed the author’s dance background & how it came through in the fic with Lan Zhan’s love of ballet. The banter & intimate moments between Lan Zhan & Wei Ying as they got closer were absolutely fantastic. I really can’t rec this highly enough. It’s a new favorite.

*Edit: So I goofed & had to replace Scales & Arpeggios in this rec list because I forgot it was an alternating POV fic, not strictly Lan Zhan's. I do promise that the brooklinegirlfic is just as good. She's one of my very favorite Wangxian authors, after all.

[nitrateglow]

Favorite films discovered in 2023

2023 kind of sucked, but it was a fruitful year for me as a movie geek. I finally got around to seeing films that have been on my TBW pile for years now. I also gave myself a challenge that I actually completed: watch at least one film from every year between 1900 and 2023.

Anyway, I'll stop beating around the bush. Here are my top 20 favorite film discoveries in 2023. (The order is very, very loose from 5 on down. I genuinely had a hard time narrowing the list down to 20, let alone ranking everything.)

When a Woman Ascends the Stairs (dir. Mikio Naruse, 1960)

This well-regarded drama follows Keiko, a bar hostess who's just turned 30 years old. She has limited options as an unmarried woman in postwar Japan. Considered "old," she has to marry soon or scrape enough money to buy her own bar. With its jazzy score and first-person narration, When a Woman Ascends the Stairs has a noirish vibe but it certainly isn't noir at all. Though the film is tragic, what moved me so much was Keiko's character. She has a tough lot and her story is ultimately tragic, yet she is determined to keep going, even if life won't give her a break.

The Boy and the Heron (dir. Hayao Miyazaki, 2023)

Miyazaki's current "last film" is certainly his most abstract and puzzling. I imagine it'll be one of his more divisive titles in the years to come, but count me among its fans. While being "in the know" regarding the current state of Studio Ghibli and Miyazaki's 60+ year-long career in animation allows one to better appreciate the many allusions and themes within the film, it stands just fine on its own as a surrealistic adventure about grief and the power of art. Also, damn, I LOVE hand-drawn animation so much.

Black Cat (dir. Kaneto Shindo, 1968)

Kaneto Shindo's Black Cat is yet another confirmation of my feeling that horror pairs best with humor or heartbreak. While there are some morbidly funny moments, Black Cat is largely a devastating supernatural horror story about a young samurai who encounters two mysterious women in the woods, not realizing they are the ghosts of his murdered wife and mother. Even worse, they've sworn to kill any and all samurai they encounter, since their deaths were the result of raping, pillaging samurai-- but they remain human enough to desire an exception. I was creeped out thoroughly by the chilly atmosphere and imagery of this film. I liked it even better than Shindo's Onibaba and that was one of my favorites from 2022!

Malcolm X (dir. Spike Lee, 1992)

I usually dislike big movie biopics for being stuffy and formulaic. Malcolm X avoids both of these issues. Directed to the hilt by Spike Lee, this film is passionate and compelling, about as far from a stuffy Oscarbait biopic as you could imagine. Also, Denzel Washington is AMAZING in the titular role. Like, we're talking one of the best performances I have ever seen because not only is Washington convincing as Malcolm X, he also perfectly portrays his arc from zoot-suited young criminal to uncompromising activist leader. I was absolutely mesmerized the entire time-- it's a long movie that never feels its length and I'll definitely be revisiting it in the future.

The Kiss Before the Mirror (dir. James Whale, 1933)

James Whale’s horror movies are listed among the finest 1930s cinema had to offer, but his other works remain woefully overlooked. The Kiss Before the Mirror is a strange marital drama set in a dreamlike interwar Vienna. A lawyer defending a murderer who shot down his cheating wife comes to discover his own wife in the midst of a casual affair. Will this discovery lead to another killing? Despite the lurid plot elements, Kiss is closer to Kubrick’s introspective Eyes Wide Shut than a typical 1930s melodrama. Both husband and wife are complex characters struggling with destroyed illusions, making the story a hell of a lot more complex than you'd expect.

Five Miles to Midnight (dir. Anatole Litvak, 1962)

I am so glad I ignored the meh reviews on this one because I would have missed out on one of the best thrillers I've seen in years. Sophia Loren is a woman desperate to shake off her narcissistic, abusive husband played by Tony Perkins. When Perkins is wrongly believed dead in a plane crash, he hides out in Loren's apartment so they can collect the life insurance money, split the funds, then part amicably. This being a Hitchcock-style thriller, it doesn't work out that way. What sells the film is the psychological cat-and-mouse game between Loren and Perkins's miserable, mismatched married couple, and a noirish sense of doom lends a great deal of atmosphere.

Shoes (dir. Lois Weber, 1916)

Shoes is the best Lois Weber film I have yet seen and it still packs a wallop a century-plus since its initial release. Mary MacLaren plays a young woman single-handedly supporting her family on a five dollar a week salary. She wears shoes that are falling apart but can never seem to save enough for a new pair-- that is, until an unsavory way of getting the cash presents itself, much to her horror and temptation. This is a heartbreaking little film that showcases a lot of what I love about 1910s American cinema. There's less glamor in the settings and nothing at all genteel or cleaned up about the poverty on display. MacLaren is wonderful in the lead too, her performance a quietly compelling portrait of quiet desperation.

Jeopardy (dir. John Sturges, 1953)

Barbara Stanwyck was in such a wealth of films that I can forgive myself for not realizing this one even existed. After seeing it, it's easily in my top five favorite films of hers. On the surface, the plot sounds like fodder for sleazy sex fantasy: a housewife on vacation is kidnapped by a hot escaped convict. She's racing against time to save her husband from drowning after the tide comes in at the beach where he's trapped; the convict has a very specific price for any aid he's willing to offer. Stanwyck's characterization complicates the situation and the direction amps the tension to a breaking point. Great, great stuff!

Girlfriends (dir. Claudia Weill, 1978)

This film came across my path in a weirdly personal way. One of my sisters got engaged this year. We've been close all of our lives and shared an apartment for years, so this is going to be a big change for both of us. Girlfriends is about a young woman whose best friend is getting married, meaning she'll be on her own for the first time. In addition to making this adjustment, she's a photographer currently hired for weddings and bar mitzvahs, but dreaming of entering the larger world of art galleries. I guess you could say it's a 70s version of a quarter-life crisis film (Noah Baumbach's Frances Ha takes A LOT from it). The performances and direction are exceptional, having that unglamorous, lived-in vibe I love about the films of this period. It also just happened to come into my life at the most resonant time, so there's that.

Ivan the Terrible, Parts One and Two (dir. Sergei Eisenstein, 1945 and 1958)

As a person who hates the idea that realism is the only valid form for cinematic drama, Eisenstein's hyper-stylized Ivan the Terrible movies are a joy. The compositions are like something out of a painting, the acting is operatic, the writing mythic and sweeping. The dance number in Part II is one of my favorite scenes in any movie ever. Best of all, the films rise above their propagandist origins, becoming a fascinating study of institutional power set against individual charisma.

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (dir. Emilio Miraglia, 1972)

I've been getting more into giallo lately and The Red Queen Kills Seven Times is among the more memorable titles. You have the fashion world setting, a disguised murderer running around in a red cloak, over the top kills, a villainous junkie who looks like Bucky Barnes, a spooky castle with death traps, the works. It's a movie where I don't really care too much about the plot. It's the off-kilter, sinister atmosphere that draws me in, as with most giallo movies.

Little Miss Sunshine (dir. Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, 2006)

It took Alan Arkin dying for me to finally get around to seeing this much beloved 2000s gem. I expected to only be interested in Arkin as the drug-addled, foul-mouthed grandpa, but the entire movie is so warm-hearted and hilarious that I fell in love with it whole hog. The characters are all quirky without being Quriky (tm), if you know what I mean. And I love the final message about just living your life and not worrying about whether or not you're "successful" in the eyes of society. An old theme to be sure, but done so, so well here. (Also, the mercilessly satirical jab at child beauty pageants is pure gold.)

Pom Poko (dir. Isao Takahata, 1994)

I feel like a lot of western anime fans only see Pom Poko as "lol that movie where the tanuki have comically oversized testicles." And yeah, that is indeed something in this movie but there's so much more. It's one of the boldest films I've ever seen, an "animated documentary" (to use Takahata's words) about a village of tanuki waging war against humankind's encroachment upon the natural world. It's such a genre grab-bag, critic Daniel Thomas' description fits it best: "The story weaves through slapstick comedy, social commentary, satire, surrealism, and tragedy. It changes moods much the way the tanuki change form, bending and molding into a new shape, and relentlessly moving forward." I still think Only Yesterday is Takahata's best film, but Pom Poko is strong competition and yet another film I can see myself rewatching many times to come.

Bullet Train (dir. David Leitch, 2022)

I still kick myself for not seeing this in the theater when it came out. Bullet Train is a wonderful lark of an action film. On first watch, I recall thinking it was like a live-action anime shot in a very Tarantino-esque style. I've seen it a few times now and I enjoy the hell out of it every time. And if you don't like it, well, you just might be a Diesel.

That Cold Day in the Park (dir. Robert Altman, 1969)

Another film with a so-so reputation that I really enjoyed. Sandy Dennis (who's gradually becoming one of my favorites with every performance I see from her) plays a virginal rich woman who takes in a handsome young guy one cold day. Her initial kindness quickly curdles into erotic obsession and her house guest has his own secrets. It's an early Robert Altman film and not his most polished work, but that makes it all the more fascinating to me. It's a creepy psychological thriller with a haunting ending, as well as an interesting time capsule of the late 1960s.

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (dir. Russ Meyer, 1965)

Where has this movie been all my life?? It's a bizarre campfest about three criminally minded go-go dancers who romp across the California desert, strewing all kinds of havoc in their wake. It's such a strange movie that I don't know how to describe it properly: it's got a New Wave sensibility to it all the while indulging in exploitation B-movie nonsense. Definitely a fun film to watch with a group.

Jeanne Dielman, 23, quai du commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (dir. Chantal Akermann, 1975)

I finally bit the bullet to watch this one after it topped the 2022 Sight & Sound list. Do I think it's the greatest film of all time? No, but I don't like singling out any work of art for such a designation. Putting aside all the drama that ensued when this was granted GOAT status, Jeanne Dielman is a striking film. It's definitely not something you just throw on casually-- you need to set aside the time to watch it and be in the right headspace. My initial mild interest morphed into a sense of anxious dread as the film ground along its three hour runtime, its protagonist struggling to retain her total sense of self-possession and control as she's thrown off her groove by unexpected events.

The Wicked Lady (dir. Leslie Arliss, 1945)

This is not high art by any means. It's melodrama with a capital M, laying the cheese on thick. Margaret Lockwood plays a devious, scheming femme fatale in 18th century England who's a gold-digging noblewoman by day and a highwaywoman cavorting with bad boy James Mason by night. This is easily the most entertaining of the Gainsborough melodramas I've yet seen, dripping with soap opera antics, sumptuous costumes, and camp-a-plenty.

War and Peace (dir. Sergei Bondarchuk, 1966-1967)

There is no substitute for reading Tolstoy's massive novel, but this 1966 Soviet version is definitely a fine work in its own right. Filmed in three parts, it's about nine hours long and it does a good job capturing the interior lives of the characters in the source material. Everything about it is just breathtaking: the costumes, the sets, the massive numbers of extras during those battle scenes. It's the kind of intellectually and emotionally stirring epic that makes all those hours fly by.

The Sweet Smell of Success (dir. Alexander Mackendrick, 1957)

I often chafe when people act as though all 1950s American cinema were Leave it to Beaver wholesomeness and buttoned up repression. Some of the nastiest Hollywood movies I've ever seen came out of the 1950s and The Sweet Smell of Success is prime among them. Among the best of the late classic noir period, it follows Burt Lancaster as a popular but monstrous newspaper columnist who uses his power to control the lives of everyone around him, particularly his sister, to whom he has a borderline perverse attachment. The dialogue is as sharp ("You're dead, son. Get yourself buried." "I'd hate to take a bite out of you. You're a cookie full of arsenic.") and the cynicism as thick as the best of Billy Wilder. If you love noir, you can't miss out on this one.

What were your favorite film discoveries of 2023?

[unofficially-ace]

Ivypool’s Heart liveblog yay

So far really enjoying this book, the prologue slapped and I actually feel a sense of mystery with this vision. Even though it’s a travelling book I’m still excited for it

If there’s one thing the Erins can actually write well it’s grief, and they’ve got a lot to play with in this book

The travelling gang is so fun, love all of these guys

Chapter 4 genuinely almost made me tear up, Ivypool and Icewing bonding over their shared grief just got to me ok

Honestly if Rootspring gets with Wrenflight by the end of the book I’ll scream

Ivypool why would you antagonise cats who are giving you information…literally so stupid

Beach the MILF hunter

I’m gonna need everyone to stop hating on the Sisters right now omg they literally have the most interesting culture out of everyone

Aughhhh I’m sick of the Clan cats always being in the right stop trying to make everyone into a Clan!!!! Let them be different I beg

Slate and Beach are basically incompetent uni students and I love them so much, they’re so silly

Why are they giving romance advice to these random guys what is this book

If the Sisters have no fans I am dead

Why do they also call humans ‘Twolegs’ and housecats ‘kittypets’ though…especially when Slate and Beach called them Twopaws earlier??? And greencough???? Why can’t they have different words for things oh my godddd

Warrior cats vs seagulls let’s goooo

Why do they feel the need to explain past plot points to me whenever they come up. I promise I didn’t start reading warrior cats at Ivypool’s Heart

Best part of warrior cats hands down is the attempt to describe human things in the way cats would. Erins when they have to describe a sandwich

I can’t picture this cliff/lake/beach combo for the life of me

Another Jake? Were no other names available?

The cats go to a zoo!

I need to know what type of wildcats these are, are they going to destroy the ecosystem if they’re released

Oh joy, I love retconned lore, welcome to the party Stormclan

If you took a shot every time Ivypool says “Run!” you would be dead

Why are the cats gendering the humans? How do they have any concept of human sex/gender?

Why is there a map at the front of the book that pretty much spoils the whole plot…I mean it’s pretty helpful because I haven’t been able to picture this journey at all but still

TARDIS tree

THE GANG DOES TIME TRAVEL?

This feels like a fanfiction, who tf let their OCs into warrior cats

You’re telling me two whole clans were combined and then left the territories and nobody in Starclan remembers this???? And it was never brought up before?

My enjoyment for this book is rapidly decreasing

This feels like if Once Upon A Time did Warrior Cats

Also we literally had this clan combination plot happen in VOTS are the erins lurking on minecraft roleplay servers or something

At least the characters also think it’s wild that this was all forgotten so I hope we get some answers

Rootspring tries to eat a poisonous jellyfish and fucking dies /j

Power duo Ivypool and Icewing let’s gooo

Ivypool your lesbian is showing

Criteria for any female character in this book is that you have to have at least one dead child (unless you’re Whistlepaw)

I do like the idea that double dead spirits become part of the real world, at least we finally have some explanation for where all these forgotten cats are, but does that also count for the evil guys?

There is literally no good reason for the elders to not believe them are you serious

The river of spirits…yet another lore drop that should’ve been extremely important and relevant before this, and yet this is the first time we’re hearing about it

Wtf is tallstar doing here

If all living cats forgetting someone causes Starclan to forget them too, I feel like there should be far less cats in Starclan

Cats can just be re-remembered back into existence????

Okayyyy overall thoughts: I think it was generally a good book by warriors standards, the character growth was done really well, but aughhhh the retconned lore changes physically pain me and I will not accept Stormclan as canon thank you

[immacaria]

Ten Books to Know Me Better

Rules: Name 10 (non-ancient) books for people to know you better or that you really like

I was tagged by my dear wife, @galacticstingray, and I want you to know there's only two ancient books here. Bear it with me, okay?

1. Heroes of the Olympus by Rick Riordan

Listen, I love the original series, but Heroes of the Olympus will be always my favourite, no one can convince me otherwise. It's about the found family, about people finding each other caring for others, the family that grows between people from the most different places and cultures and choose to stick together. It's the shared grief, it's the 'You don't have to do this alone. You won't do this alone'.

2. Women that run with the wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

This book is simply amazing. The way Ms Estés weaves the stories and analyses it so beautifully, the way she talks about the different aspects of the human mind, specially the woman mind, taking the aspects from the stories she says. I love this book so much, it's also the longest time I have spent reading one book (More than two years, I think)

3. The cat that saved books by Sosuke Natsukawa

I would like to say to everyone that loves books that this book is exactly this. A cat that saves books because he loves them. There's more to the story of course but spoilers, right? I'm physically uncapable of talking about this book without talking about the plot and giving spoilers. Just read it, okay, read it and you will understand.

4. Faust by Goethe

I have read this when I was fourteen/fifteen I think? I remember having to reactions to it: Either bored out of my mind or incredibly interest on what was happening. All I know is that the vibes of this book played a big part on what I am know and most of my interests. I plan to re-read this one and some moment this year and see what I think of it this time.

5. O palhaço e o psicanalista (The clown and the psychoanalyst) by Christian Dunker

This one made me understand so much about listening and truly being open to others, the tiny, almost invisible line of being entirely too serious or too much of a clown. It teached me how to reach that middle and how to use that around me, this book is amazing, I swear and, to any Brazillians out there seeing this, please read this. You won't regret it.

6. From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty

Death and funeral rites, do I need to say more?? I love all of the books by this woman, this woman is amazing and I love her very much. This one was the first one I have read and I'll be forever grateful at my sib for being this one for me.

7. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty

I told you, anything by this woman is my favourite. Please, read this one as well if you want, it's just her answering a bunch of questions and talking about her travellings and experiences as a mortician.

8. Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? by Caitlin Doughty

(Can you see that I will push this agenda on anyone, all the time, anywhere?) Read it, people, it's all amazing

9. The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

For someone who is called a sunshine by most of her friends and incredily crazy by her family, I have a strangely sober taste on books, but sincerely? It's being this "close" to death, it's this desire to deeply know it that makes me able to enjoy life. Death is a place of comfort to me, something that, at the end of my life, will receive me with open arms and a big smile. It will give me coffee and bread and will ~chisme~ together about my life and the ones I left behind until it's time for me to be alive again. This book, in particular, taught me graveyards are not strange or scary, that they can be comforting as well and, as strange as it might be to others, it's freeing to me.

Now, finally, 10. Frankstein by Mary Shelley

It's not a good Macca's favourite books if Frankstein is not there. Frankstein was the first gothic romance I read for real, even before Faust. It were my parents that gave it to me and I devoured it. I remember being so freaking angry at Victor for what he did to Adam, I remember turning to everyone who called Adam Frankstein and saying "His name is Adam and you should remember it", I remember looking at Victor and thinking "You are gay. You are gay and a coward". I remember a lot about this book and I probably should give this book a re-read this year as well because sincerely, it's amazing and it made me who I am today as well.

This should be done a long, long ago, but, eh, life happened. Anyways, I'm tagging @questing-wulfstan, @aquilathefighter, @virgo-dream, @mathomhouse-e, @quillingwords, @academicblorbo, @the-cloudy-dreamer, @pintobordeaux, @arialerendeair and @honeyteacakes. One for each book lmaoo, now you fight to decide which one is yours.

[littlequeenies]

Only a few close friends knew of Lennon’s romance with May, who was once secretary to him and Yoko. The affair was deliberately concealed from fans.

May, 30 but looking ten years younger, overcame her grief at last week’s assassination of the ex-Beatle to give me an exclusive interview at her Manhattan apartment. “They were such magical times”, she said. “Thank God, no one can take away my precious memories. I count myself as a very lucky woman to have shared some of John’s most tender moments, his private thoughts and, most of all, his love. John brought me more happiness than I could hope to find in a lifetime with another man.”

May originally worked for apple, the Beatles recording company. She became very close to Yoko and helped her in women’s lib campaigns. “I don’t want to say anything that might be hurtful to Yoko”, she said. “She was always very kind to me. I didn’t steal her man - they had broken up before John and I became lovers. I know she is deeply upset, and my heart goes out to her. But I have shed as many tears as Yoko.”

Last Monday night, when Mark Chapman pumped five bullets into Lennon outside his New York home, May was at a friend’s flat half a mile away. “We had the radio on,” said May. “The disc jockey suddenly interrupted saying 'John Lennon has been shot’. At first I thought it was some kind of a sick joke. The initial news flash said that John was wounded. A few minutes later it was announced that he was at the hospital being operated on. I began shuddering and held my breath. I prayed that it wasn’t true, but the third bulletin revealed the awful truth - John was dead. I screamed hysterically for several minutes. I stayed in bed for two days, sobbing and just thinking of John. I couldn’t eat or sleep - my body was so numb from shock.”

TOO UPSET

“The only thing I managed to do was pull a call through to Yoko. One of her aides answered the phone, saying she was too upset to talk to me. I can understand her feelings. Perhaps she cannot forgive me for loving John as much as her, and I feel I have no right to intrude into her sorrow. I left a message that I would gladly to anything to help her or their little boy Sean.”

May’s flat is a shrine to Lennon. Two pictures that she took of John - one showing him shirtless on a beach in California, the other relaxing with ex-Beatles drummer Ringo Starr - take pride of place. A note that Ringo slipped through the door of their New York home is pinned on the wall. “Dear John and May, Popped round to see you. Will call again.” May has all of Lennon’d records but her most treasured possession is a doodle he produced.

“He was talking about finding peace and tranquility in his twilight years,” she said. “He sketched for several minutes and handed me a drawing of himself as a little old man. 'That’s how I’ll look, when I’m 64,’ he told me.”

Lennon obsessed with assassination during the early Beatlemania years, later curbed his fear of death. “His great desire was to grow old gracefully,” said May. “Some people fear old age, but John actually looked forward to it.”

May, who was nicknamed 'Mother superior’ by Lennon because she loved to organise things at his recording sessions, now works for Rod Stewart’s record company. She cuddled two pet cats as she told of the gentle side of Lennon.

“When he read about callous acts of violence throughout the world, he would take it all so personally. 'Guns are for cowboys in the movies,’ he said. John wanted desperately to be accepted at the level of the ordinary man. He always shunned bodyguards, to avoid attention being drawn to him.”

WITTY VERSES

In a magazine interview shortly before his death Lennon said he had sometimes beat up his women. “He was never like that with me,” said May. “He was a kind, caring and gentle companion. We would often stay up until dawn discussing music and the world’s problems. Sometimes as we lay in bed he would recite poetry - nothing heavy just little witty, amusing verses - or sing to me. He was a real romantic and I don’t believe he was capable of hurting a fly.”

Lennon’s fling with May ended after he bumped into Yoko backstage at an Elton John concert in New York.

She suggested he should improve his health by cutting down on alcohol, losing weight and stopping smoking. An appointment was made for him to visit a hypnotist who treated heavy smokers. Friends say that after his first session in the hypnotist’s chair Lennon walked “almost spell-bound” back to Yoko’s flat. From then the two were inseperable.

“When John went back to Yoko I knew it was finished between us forever, because he was a loyal and honorable person”, said May. He was faithful during our time together and since he returned to Yoko there was never any question of him looking at another woman.“

The last time May spoke to Lennon was three years ago ata party at Regine’s nightclub in New York. "He was very careful in his choice of words because Yoko never left his side,” said May. “I believe he could sense that I had never stopped loving him. I will love him forever. There will always be a corner of my heart reserved for John Lennon.

Lennon’s affair was observed by Chris Charlesworth, then American editor of Melody Maker.

Chris, 33, said in London: "He was obviously infatuated with May. Yoko thought it would be a short-lived fling while John sowed his wild oats. I don’t think he could ever get Yoko out of his mind. He used to ring her every few days just to hear her voice.”

Chris said: “Dying so young was something that never entered John’s head. 'When I’m 64, Yoko and I will be a doddery old couple living in a tiny cottage in Ireland,’ he said. "Yoko envisaged them growing all their own vegetable and milking a couple of goats every day.”

Lennon gave the reason why the fab four could never perform together again.

He told Chris: “If we got our act together it wouldn’t be as good as the old days. We’re rusty old men.” The world will now never know if he meant it.

***

In the main photo, by Allan Olley, May is holding a black cat. Is that Major or Minor, one of the cats she had with John Lennon?

May Pang, Sunday Mirror December 14, 1980

MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH LENNON - I didn't steal her man - by Tony Frost

John Lennon's secret love has talked for the first time about her "beautiful and tender" affair with the tragic superstar.

Chinese beauty May Pang has fought back the tears and said: "I still can't believe he is dead. Now he is gone, I feel a part of me has died too." Lennon turned to May after breaking up with his Japanese wife Yoko Ono in 1973. They spent eighteen 'Idyllic' months together - living in Los Angeles for six months, then setting up a love-nest on New York's fashionable East Side, before Lennon eventually went back to Yoko.

Only a few close friends knew of Lennon's romance with May, who was once secretary to him and Yoko. The affair was deliberately concealed from fans.

May, 30 but looking ten years younger, overcame her grief at last week's assassination of the ex-Beatle to give me an exclusive interview at her Manhattan apartment. "They were such magical times", she said. "Thank God, no one can take away my precious memories. I count myself as a very lucky woman to have shared some of John's most tender moments, his private thoughts and, most of all, his love. John brought me more happiness than I could hope to find in a lifetime with another man."

May originally worked for apple, the Beatles recording company. She became very close to Yoko and helped her in women's lib campaigns. "I don't want to say anything that might be hurtful to Yoko", she said. "She was always very kind to me. I didn't steal her man - they had broken up before John and I became lovers. I know she is deeply upset, and my heart goes out to her. But I have shed as many tears as Yoko."

Last Monday night, when Mark Chapman pumped five bullets into Lennon outside his New York home, May was at a friend's flat half a mile away. "We had the radio on," said May. "The disc jockey suddenly interrupted saying 'John Lennon has been shot'. At first I thought it was some kind of a sick joke. The initial news flash said that John was wounded. A few minutes later it was announced that he was at the hospital being operated on. I began shuddering and held my breath. I prayed that it wasn't true, but the third bulletin revealed the awful truth - John was dead. I screamed hysterically for several minutes. I stayed in bed for two days, sobbing and just thinking of John. I couldn't eat or sleep - my body was so numb from shock."

TOO UPSET

"The only thing I managed to do was pull a call through to Yoko. One of her aides answered the phone, saying she was too upset to talk to me. I can understand her feelings. Perhaps she cannot forgive me for loving John as much as her, and I feel I have no right to intrude into her sorrow. I left a message that I would gladly to anything to help her or their little boy Sean."

May's flat is a shrine to Lennon. Two pictures that she took of John - one showing him shirtless on a beach in California, the other relaxing with ex-Beatles drummer Ringo Starr - take pride of place. A note that Ringo slipped through the door of their New York home is pinned on the wall. "Dear John and May, Popped round to see you. Will call again." May has all of Lennon'd records but her most treasured possession is a doodle he produced.

"He was talking about finding peace and tranquility in his twilight years," she said. "He sketched for several minutes and handed me a drawing of himself as a little old man. 'That's how I'll look, when I'm 64,' he told me."

Lennon obsessed with assassination during the early Beatlemania years, later curbed his fear of death. "His great desire was to grow old gracefully," said May. "Some people fear old age, but John actually looked forward to it."

May, who was nicknamed 'Mother superior' by Lennon because she loved to organise things at his recording sessions, now works for Rod Stewart's record company. She cuddled two pet cats as she told of the gentle side of Lennon.

"When he read about callous acts of violence throughout the world, he would take it all so personally. 'Guns are for cowboys in the movies,' he said. John wanted desperately to be accepted at the level of the ordinary man. He always shunned bodyguards, to avoid attention being drawn to him."

WITTY VERSES

In a magazine interview shortly before his death Lennon said he had sometimes beat up his women. "He was never like that with me," said May. "He was a kind, caring and gentle companion. We would often stay up until dawn discussing music and the world's problems. Sometimes as we lay in bed he would recite poetry - nothing heavy just little witty, amusing verses - or sing to me. He was a real romantic and I don't believe he was capable of hurting a fly."

Lennon's fling with May ended after he bumped into Yoko backstage at an Elton John concert in New York.

She suggested he should improve his health by cutting down on alcohol, losing weight and stopping smoking. An appointment was made for him to visit a hypnotist who treated heavy smokers. Friends say that after his first session in the hypnotist's chair Lennon walked "almost spell-bound" back to Yoko's flat. From then the two were inseperable.

"When John went back to Yoko I knew it was finished between us forever, because he was a loyal and honorable person", said May. He was faithful during our time together and since he returned to Yoko there was never any question of him looking at another woman."

The last time May spoke to Lennon was three years ago ata party at Regine's nightclub in New York. "He was very careful in his choice of words because Yoko never left his side," said May. "I believe he could sense that I had never stopped loving him. I will love him forever. There will always be a corner of my heart reserved for John Lennon.

Lennon's affair was observed by Chris Charlesworth, then American editor of Melody Maker.

Chris, 33, said in London: "He was obviously infatuated with May. Yoko thought it would be a short-lived fling while John sowed his wild oats. I don't think he could ever get Yoko out of his mind. He used to ring her every few days just to hear her voice."

Chris said: "Dying so young was something that never entered John's head. 'When I'm 64, Yoko and I will be a doddery old couple living in a tiny cottage in Ireland,' he said. "Yoko envisaged them growing all their own vegetable and milking a couple of goats every day."

Lennon gave the reason why the fab four could never perform together again.

He told Chris: "If we got our act together it wouldn't be as good as the old days. We're rusty old men." The world will now never know if he meant it.

[blazichu]

#catch me rattling on about GG pt 2 for paragraphs

Please continue when you can. I love your reading your analysis!

Apparently I'm incapable of looking over one half of Good Genes without doing the other, so I guess we get a double feature tonight:

Part 1:

I am, of course, contractually obligated to point out my favorite line from the cold open: "My friend Donatello is one of the gentlest souls I've met, with one of the finest minds I've ever known." It seems especially relevant since, later on, Stockman reduces Don to "The smart one"

One thing I noticed this run through is that Leo's speech is slightly different than usual this arc. My favorite is his response to "It's only a matter of time before [Don] is lost forever"; his tone changes dramatically between the two halves of his line, "That's not gonna happen" and "We can't let that happen." The first is his usual 'decisive leader' voice, but the second has this kind of worried warble to it. It's great, and Sinterniklaas gets an A+

Of course there's the breakfast sequence. I don't really have much that hasn't already been said about it, but there's something sweet and sad about how Mike says that he "Just wanted to give him some food". It's just so little, a basic need that he's trying to fill because he cares, and it goes so wrong so fast.

My fourth point is kiiiinda weird and a stretch, but I've always loved the way Outbreak (as an arc) sets up so many bits and pieces that pay off specifically in AiTS/GG. It's usually stuff Don's been working on-- like the trapper gear, the tunnel to April's, or Stockman's helicopter. It's just neat, kind of setting up how indispensable Don's presence really is if he's able to help without being mentally present.

Anyway, right back to Leo and line delivery. The other part of this is that he keeps hesitating and grasping for the right words when it comes to what happened to Don. He refuses to put a name to it when he tells everyone that the helicopter was the last thing Don was working on, "[...] before... Before."

There's also "Don got infected. He's been transformed into... into a monster."

This is something I've definitely written about before, but idk if I ever posted it. Don's behavior after arriving at Area 51 is remarkably intelligent. He's able to use the guards' taser sticks against one another to get free, take out Leatherhead while he has the element of surprise (notable in that Leatherhead was the biggest threat/the one to subdue him in AiTS), turns on Stockman (who was responsible for the transfer in the first place), uses the glass from the containment unit as a shield, and actively prevents Splinter from doing whatever mind thing he did earlier. It's a far cry from lashing out and snapping wildly, and I've always thought it was interesting.

And the tranquilizer scene. Honestly, I find it kind of hard to watch, but I do like the way Leo kneels down next to Don after he's knocked out.

Part 2

I'm gonna talk about cold opens again, because I just realized that this episode essentially begins and ends with the same message: "It's an impossible mission, but what can we do? Our brother is sick, and there's nothing we won't do to save him."

So. The really cool thing about Good Genes Part 2 is how much it directly highlights the lack of Don's presence without actually saying as much. Raph splits off to handle the technology (albeit in an explosive manner) and is seen hauling the duffelbag around. Leo has the headset and is coordinating with April throughout the mission. Which leads me to...

One of the major set pieces in this episode is a callback: the obstacle hallway, Mystic chamber and elevator from Return to New York. I don't think it was an intentional connection, but part of their plan involves repurposing a mech suit to use against the Foot, which is exactly what Don did with Stockman's robotic body in Return. This bulletpoint is 100% me finding meaning where there probably wasn't any, but still.

This one's slightly off topic, but I've said before that I thought it was a dumb decision to have Leo confirm to Karai that the rest of his family was alive and well at the end of Prodigal Son-- this episode is 99% of why I think it was a missed opportunity. Iirc, Karai doesn't appear between then and now, so this would be the first indication she'd have that anyone survived her assault-- and all the boys are here except Don. I just think there's a lot of potential there.

At one point, as Karai calls the Elite into the fray, Leo tells Mikey to take the Heart of Tengu and run-- that he'd hold them off. 'Them' being the Elite; he's about to face the Elite by himself to ensure that this works out. Just try to tell me that's not a statement and a half.

Idk why, but "Get in get out, right? It's not about Karai, right?" always stuck with me.

It's interesting how the episode also calls back to the old intro sequence, where April's piloting a helicopter and Don's jumping onto the rope ladder hanging down from it. Not much to say here, but it's neat.

I'm really bad at making out overlapping voices (and can't make sense of Mikey's line here at all), but after Leatherhead catches Don, you can hear Raph ask him how he's feeling, and Leo say "It's so good to see you again"

I mentioned Raph helping Don to the helicopter in the tags of that last post, but I'm also going to point out that Leo, who is supposed to be flying the helicopter at the end of the episode, is emphatically not watching where he's going.

And, of course, the big one: "I hope you guys didn't go through too much trouble for me."/"Nah!"

In addition to the first point for this episode-- the implication that NO trouble would have been too much-- there's the fact that, when nobody answers for a bit, you can see Don's expression fall. It's that fact that makes me love Mikey's reaction so much-- the way he grins back and tries to sooth that worry down.

Idk how much of this was really analysis, Anon, but I did promise to rattle on for paragraphs, and had a good time doing it. I hope you get some entertainment out of this ;)

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

the power of the doctor

  c+p my livetweets

 first note: no one but maybe Kit Pedler and Gerry Davis has gotten the cybermen quite right... sure it's fun to have villains boasting, but cybermen (or ~cybermasters) are scary bc they're not supposed to do That (that being any emotion at all)

do appreciate the continuity of bringing back the ~hybrids~ (tm)... .

still holding out hope that there will be fallout/consequences to the last universe reset / Armageddon and the doctor's "solution" there (1% of hope)

can't tell if Too Dark Scene or Crappy Bandwith  T_TACE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HIDE YOUR WIFE HIDE YOUR PROFESSORS

SHE'S HEEEEEREMOUTH-ON-LEGS-WALLABY-QUEEN SHUT UP NO ONE TLAK TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im gonna go ahead and say this makes canon one of my favorite short eu stories  - https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Girls%27_Night_In_(short_story)

"it's only been 3 decades for me" rip all the timelord-ace lore lol (in this continuity at least)dan slow down crazy it's only been 10 minutes

lmao i died @ the house still not being there xD

for future analysis: message about the comforts of modernity / technology doing away with regional cultures / identities?

i love my contact-lensed hypnotic trash son

yaz: is yours, isn't it? (...) yours from another time? me, immediately, without breathing: VALEYARD?????? RANI!!!?!?!?! 

i love this nonesense:

u know what would go great with that new UNIT building.. . .. a UNIT. . .. spin off

“are you ready for this?” “no! ””me neither!” me neither!!!!!!!

graphic design is my passion

im screaming chibnall is actually Getting It Right TOT

i love how this is proving the widely held fandom wisdom(tm) that 13 would not get away with her bs if she had been traveling with tegan and / or donna lol

one day it WILL be the valeyard / the rani and then You Will All See

and that was the day 23.342.340.923 university collage professor thoschei AUs were born and then launched into space 

im enjoying this a lot but i do have to give the critique that the emotional grounding of 13's and yaz's arcs feels very thin (as individuals and as a pair) and hasn't been the focus 20 minutes in, better hurry up @ show

I waited 2 years for this omg ot3 dynamicsssss   

HE'S IN T H E S T A I R S I REPEAT. HE'S IN **THE** STAIRS!!!!

gotta love a petty in-character reference

"oh, and ace! or should I say dorothy?" (...) "last time I saw you, you were half-cat" epic burns all around in this sunday night

the cameraperson doing those close af angles in the thasmin bit... i see you cameraperson

waiting for a twist because we've done the One Good Dalek thing like 3 times in new who asdfg 

i think Dhawan's master is forever gonna be my favorite master by far. the guys simply had no bad scenes ever. 

ooo, i liked this moment 

CHIBNALL: RECONCILE A L L  THE MYTHOLOGY!!!!!!

the master in the doctor’s body... i have read that fic

fear you got beaten to the punch there, m8 

fear you got beaten to the punch there, m8

me walking to the local convention w/ my first cosplay

chibnall: can i copy your homework? rtd: yes but change it a little

but,,, my spin off....,,, ):

the noise i just made omg

(screaming this was in the results when i went to re-check the meme's text sdlkjfdlksjf)

chibnall: can i copy your homework? moffat: yes but change it a little

we started the era with a funeral, and ended with support group for grief. bookend storytelling!

(though lol not to brag mates but the 10-era crew has probably have cycled thru a dozen whatsapp - facebook - zoom calls and discord groups by the time this is happening)

CHIBNALL IM GOING TO LET YOU FINISH BUT- 

OK overall takes...

im gonna need time to digest lol yes, lots of very clever things, cool lore, and thematic bookends (esp, re: the fam, unit, cycles, optimism, and the master), some Right choices for classic characters BUT a lot of wasted potential for the current ones (thasmin, 13, yaz, honestly even dan! what a flimsy goodbye...).

i also think this finale fits well  the rest of the era, a lot of excellent set ups for fic writers + fandom to elevate, esp in regards to character stuff and new interpretations of old themes (regeneration as identity, emigration metaphors, companion grief, etc). im always gonna be thankful for this lesson in the 13th era: art is what the interpreter of the art brings to it. a lot of people didn’t bring a lot to this era (for valid reasons, sometimes just for misogyny/racist ones)  so they didn’t get a lot, but those who worked their way thru the subtle stuff and even “added-in” stuff, got a great, if imperfect work w/ a lot of nuances, and def things never before done in dw (one of the major wins: making the doctor mysterious again, and making them a refugee / vulnerable rather than “president of the universe” he’d come to be in 10 season of new who). stray points (things i wasnt as satisfied with) 1- im not sure thirteen learned a lot? i think the reason the master's final point in his arc hit and landed so well, while thirteen's didn't as much (for me) is that it all kind of circled around with not really a "lesson" being learned.  we really pulled back the layers of the master's narcissism and obsession with the doctor, and followed it all the way through its origins in jealousy and self-hatred. meanwhile the doctor's optimist, happy-go-lucky facade-that-falls that the fandom did such excellent meta about... never quite hit it in the end with the show. EVEN when the setup was so clearly there SO MANY TIMES: giving yaz a gun, comitting triple genocide on the daleks/cybermen/sontarans, the tim shaw of it all... etc. 2- related to the point of 13 not growing: in the end she and yaz didn't commit to anything (quite the opposite, they stuck to the denial from the warriors ep, which i thought would be Turned Around here...), the special instead of calling out the older doctors, validated them for abandoning the companions (when tbh i think the True Thing, even if it hurt, would be for 13 to have outright said to ace and tegan [and yaz, even!] "im sorry, i wish i could have given you what you needed, but i couldnt. and probably never will") Let me stress it tho: i did really like the yaz/13, 5/tegan, ace/7 resolutions in isolation, they got those dynamics Right in a lot of ways (the 7/ace thing about the Cost you pay for “doing the right thing” , the doctor/tegan being like That but rlly only bc they care sm about each other (aaa) thing, and even with the yaz/doctor thing i can see the logic of them always being so positive + supportive, of doing all they can to “stay together”) but looking at it as a whole, in the context of "doctor who as one long running story", this felt a bit like a regression for the doctor, and by extension for ace, tegan and yaz. 3- i think there was also just not enough time to let the story breath. or rather, there WAS time but also a lot of nonsense taking that time (like the dalek trairo or the whole train thing i was SO EXCITED thinking it would be a kid from the doctor’s mysterious origins but nope, it was just a diversion to get to Squiggles.... even vinder whom i rlly enjoyed ... idk i have to question how Necessary it was to have a whole thing about him breaking his ship then repairing his ship... etc. ) . the scene at  the veeery end where 13 and yaz eat ice cream was like the first time chibnall slowed the peace *enough* to let the emotions land (and also the only moment i actually started crying asdfg).there were so many more companion / doctor companion interactions to be had, but bc of all the Stuff (tm) there wasn't time to rlly exploit (not having the companions in Somber Silence around the doctor, waiting for her to wake up for days, was almost a writting crime of negligence). but then again, that's been chibnall the whole way through lol he ain't no Aguinaldo Silva and that's fine. "understated emotions" is just not my thing.

[sandrockbandit]

it's 1am time for assorted logan thoughts. spoilers

• tbh the reveal of his Backstory startled me all sorts because i had taken him to be a more deliberate agent of chaos than he ended up being. i Really was here for Evil Cowboy...

• ... but what you end up getting is just kinda sad. not even exclusively tragic? it almost felt pitiful in a way. this character exists as he does because of a dumb rash series of well-intentioned decisions. there was no rhyme or reason to it and no one wanted it, no one is happy with the way things turned out, including him. i really want him to get therapy, man. im fond of him in an irate kinda way

• i think exploring his character re: culpability would be a really fun thing to write. not necessarily redemption - that doesn't quite suit him i think. that may be my personal fatigue with Redemption as a popular concept though it might actually suit him very well

• but bc by all accounts, one of the people left most hurt by what he did is logan himself. howlett was well-respected and liked, but many spoke of him in terms of how mercenary he was; no one was as dependent on howlett or loved him as much as his son. he wounded himself a lot for his fear and desperation, both with the loss of his father and the loss of his place in sandrock

• bc logan is irrationally sentimental! he throws it all away to get to his dad and pins up a child's drawing close to the bed like it means something and puts his all into solving his people's problems and

• .......... hm. prequel anakin...

• he doesn't strike me as. particularly experienced. i don't think he's fully mastered any of his skills quite yet but he's getting there. he really Feels like a young man who's lost his way and is still knocked off-kilter and suppressing grief and who is also really defensive about it

• but he's acting the part as best he can. boy is playing the part of purposeful rogue like his life depends on it

• logan pre-tragedy is described w words like "polite," "kind of ornery," "goodie two-shoes" - honest if a little aloof and an all-around decent man. probably a little harder to see that w the crimes and all but, like, he's still got basic manners. that "good day" before bailing was a little iconic imho

• i make the jokes abt it but definitely he was good enough at what he does to warrant justice offering him the deputy hat! that doesn't mean much though bc justice also gives the player honorary deputy status for, like, no reason. and he promoted a cat.

• i do imagine that logan has a keen eye for logistics and stealth and casing areas. boy keeps slipping into town and causing a ruckus and leaving immediately. he Chooses to be loud but the fact that he knows how to avoid traffic-heavy routes on town speaks to a cleverness on this front. he's well aware of how to be lowkey i just think he does not want to

• also the fact that there were a ton of books in his room - far more than i would imagine being strictly medical texts - speak to him being an avid writer or reader. is the boy an arthur morgan chronicling type or an adventure story aficionado? who knows

• but he is sure willing to take a crack at Anything that matters to him with everything he's got, including medicine

• circling back to Culpability it's so clear that he can't handle shouldering all the blame and he's still trying to take it out on the town like. the thought process. he must be a heck of an unreliable narrator. many thoughts. many thoughts ,

• also only vaguely related but when qi was out here diagnosing logan despite not being That Kind of Doctor in true tiktok fashion that was really funny. what gives qi

• if i ever were to get to the point where i can make an animatic i would want to do one with logan to a stanza or two of The Pantheon (Ain't Gonna Catch You) from bastion. they ain't gonna hear you, son, don't care 'bout what you done indeed. okay bye

[writing-for-life]

Too long for a comment 🙈

It’s a bit of everything I guess: Desire has their paws in it, Orpheus walks through Thessaly, he makes the Furies cry and they won’t forgive him for that etc, so there’s definitely a lot of foreshadowing, potentially even setting things in motion.

But it’s also a bit of a chicken and egg situation, because Morpheus could have acted differently, and none of the above (bar Eurydice dying) would have happened the way it did if he hadn’t insisted on being right when Orpheus was so sick with grief that he couldn’t hear him, or trying to teach him a lesson regardless of him being completely traumatised, and then topping it all off with not being able to swallow his own pride.

Yes, sometimes our kids need to learn lessons the hard way and make their own mistakes, but in the end, we have to be bigger than that because we’re still their parents. Calliope gets it—Morpheus didn’t at that point.

So yeah, things were definitely set in motion there on many different levels, and it could certainly be interpreted as having a kid in the first place leading to his downfall. And Orpheus definitely is a stubborn little shit (like father, like son I guess), but he also couldn’t think straight at that point, and Morpheus could have handled things differently. It’s hard to decide who is the worse idiot in this scenario, but as a mother, I’m erring on the side of: “If my kid is grieving, it’s not the time to teach life lessons or withdraw support because ‘that’s the way it should be’.”

As Shakespeare already said: “The fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves.” And it was Morpheus’ decision to act (or not to act) a certain way.

I personally can’t help but think of it this way:

Parenthood changes us. Irrevocably and forever. I’m not Morpheus, but I can only say that it taught me so much about humility (you’re just winging it to the best of your ability, and it is truly humbling). It made me feel vulnerable in a way I never even knew existed, both in terms of feeling love and fear. And yes, I’d truly give my life for my child if I had to. It’s one of the most profound experiences to go through, and I also totally get it’s not for everyone. Because you truly will never be again as you were before, while part of you still is.

And the tragic thing is that all of it is also true for Morpheus in the end, because he *does* change.

But had he yielded to some of these fundamental truths a bit earlier, the outcome could have been different.

So perhaps the moral of the story is not: “Don’t have kids,” but rather “Children will change you, and you have to be good with that.” And we all know that it takes wet cat man very long to admit he’s capable of change…

Super interested what you’ll have to share once you’re done with your re-read 🙂

Man, the further I go on my Sandman reread, the more I think the moral of the series might be “don’t have kids”. I mean, yes Morpheus is a flawed character who needs to accept he can change. Bla bla bla the nature of tragedies where nothing ends well. But really, the biggest mistake he made was loving Calliope enough to have a kid with her. And then said kid brings about his downfall. 😳

[stellocchia]

Since people often seem to think that Tommy’s and Dream’s dynamic is something that was established in season 2 and sorta came out of nowhere before that, I thought I’d finally take a look at the evolution of it throughout season 1. 

From here on out, of course, I’ll be talking exclusively about the characters. It is also to be kept in mind that season 1 was a LOT less scripted, so there may be streams and moments that I leave out as they don’t seem to be too impactful or they lack canonicity. So sadly the whole stream where they build Church Prime that has Dream comparing himself to God for 2 hours has to go...

 This will undoubtedly be an EXTREMELY long one, so be prepared for it...

Let’s go step by step in chronological order, shall we? 

THE DISCS WAR PREQUEL

By now a lot of people know that the Disc Saga wasn’t actually started by Tommy, but here’s a refresher anyway: Ponk started it off by pranking Sapnap’s base, in retaliation Sapnap burned down Ponk’s lemon tree. With this Ponk allied himself with Alyssa and the two started a war against Sapnap. 

Later Tommy joins the server. Tommy obtains the first netherite cheestplate in the server and it’s promptly stolen by Sapnap. Later again Sapnap uses the netherite chestplate to blackmail Tommy into joining his fight against Ponk and Alyssa. Tommy just refuses ang gets his armour back, but he considers Sapnap’s offer because of: Alyssa setting him on fire and Tubbo (who was mostly neutral but leaning towards Ponk and Alyssa) had made him loose his stuff the day before.

Dream arrived then to stop the fighting, but Sapnap and Tommy decided to kill him instead (non-canonically of course). Sapnap killed him twice and Tommy once. In retaliation Dream stole Cat and Mellohi. Sapnap stole one of the disks back and then they retrived the other one and Tommy hid them near his base.

So what does this tell us? Tommy most definitely wasn’t the one who instigated the conflict, nor the one who escalated it. YET, he was the only one Dream focused on. And remember, while a proper coherent storyline didn’t exist back then we know that the wars were at least somewhat scripted (thanks to cc!Dream telling us so on the Eboys Podcast). They also kept their characters characterization pretty consistent throughtout, which means we had the first hints of their dynamic all the way back here.

ESCALATION OF THE DISC WAR

(From Tommy’s main channel it’s: “Dream is a Psychopath.”)

Everything could have been over then, but Dream was still pissed he lost, so he removed all the floring of Tommy’s base (escavating all the dirt from in front of it) in order to find the disks and take them back. At this point, after once again stealing the disks, Dream asked Tommy for his netherite chestplate (again, only one on the server at the time) in exchange for them. Also, an actual conversation they had: 

Tommy: “Dream! Was this you that destroyed my entire base and re-named the sign to ‘BitchBoy enterprise?!” 

Dream: “I didn’t touch the sign. I didn’t destroy your base either it’s just the f- the dirt” (note: as I said before, all the dirt was removed, but, hey, he didn’t touch the chickens and the carrot farm!)

Also:

Tommy:“Dream, you removed the ENTIRE floor of my base” 

Dream: “It’s YOUR fault. It’s your fault...” 

T: “How is it MY fault?!” 

D: “‘Cause you hid the disks!” 

T: “Yeah, because they’re MY disks!” 

D: “You hid the disks and I’ve taken them back, okay?”

If this doesn’t sound like the beginning of the Obsession Arc, I don’t know what does! 

But, in all seriousness, even back then for c!Dream the key of everything in the server was Tommy, though at the time he was just “the reason for conflict”. Still it’s pretty obvious that the disk conflict could have ended before it started if Dream didn’t decide to escalate things (though, as it’s obvious by the conversation, he blames his own actions on Tommy as we see him do in later seasons).

Anyone wondering about the gravity of Tommy killing Dream once non-canonically before this: In this video Dream kills both Tommy and Tubbo twice in the first 10 minutes. Yeah, he’s not any better. Btw, this is the video with the fight they then mimicked in the finale and they actually loose this one as well. 

Tommy: “What is your obsession with this disks? Why don’t you just give them back?” 

Dream: “No because I can get something in return for them, I don’t care about the disks”

Oh what simpler times when blackmail was just simple old blackmail to obtain material possessions... 

Btw, this one ended with basically a double scam where Dream gave them fake disks and they logged off with both the fake disks and the netherite chestplate.

(Main channel: “mission: kill dream (FINALE)”)

Tubbo: “Please do not tell me you have sentimental attachment to the bullshit disks...”

Early theme of attachment back in season 1. Either way Tommy has been portrayed as an extremely sentimental character that develops attachments scarily fast from all the way back in season 1. C!Dream’s idea of him he expresses in the finale isn’t born from nothing.

Anyway, Tubbo and Tommy use the composter glitch to find Dream’s base to try and get back the disks, but they aren’t there, so they end up going for the original exchange, this time with no scamming included. Tommy get’s his disks back, while Dream gets Tommy’s netherite chestplate. Just to point out: at this point Dream was the one completely at fault. Tommy was dragged into a war he wasn’t involved in and yet was the sole one to be punished for it and Dream couldn’t just accept a defeat so heavily griefed Tommy’s base and stole back HIS posssession. Dream is the main instigator here, yet he blames it ENTIRELY on Tommy from the start. Literally their dynamic started off pretty f*cked. 

Still, since Tommy didn’t want to keep risking loosing stuff to Dream for the disks he decided to make an ender chest for himself. He gets some blaze powder and ender pearls from Punz in exchange from an apple (that was too sweet not to include) and then, when it comes to getting the obsidian is when Dream realizes what he’s been doing. You’d think he’d be fine with it considering they already had a “fair” exchange (aka Dream’s blackmailing had been succesful), but nope. He hunts down both Tommy and Tubbo, but fails in killing them and they manage to put the disks away safely.

L’MANBURG BEGINNING

As we know Wilbur founded L’Manburg and Dream did not like that, so he declared war on them. Here’s the speach: 

“Tommy! (pause) And Wilbur and the rest of L’ManChildburg, we are at war. There is no mercy. We’ve burnt down Tubbo’s house. We’ve planted tnt cannons around your land. We have cobblestone walled the outside and we shot ONE warning shot inside your walls ans an explosion and we have NO MERCY! NO MERCY FOR YOU! Do you understand? We will come! We’ll burn down your houses, we will kill anything inside your walls and we’ll take back the land that is rightfully ours if you do not surrender. I want to see WHITE FLAGS! WHITE FLAGS OUTSIDE YOUR BASE BY TOMORROW, AT DAWN, OR YOU’RE DEAD!”

So, a couple of things to unpack here:

1) Dream first and foremost singles out Tommy who, if you all remember, was NOT the leader of L’Manburg. He was barely Wilbur’s right hand man and had only been confirmed as such recently at that point. He is not the leader and YET, in how the speach is enunciated it’s obvious that it’s directed at him specifically.

2) For anyone wondering if Dream could be considered a villain back in season one: so far the people from L’Manburg had done nothing but frolic in the flowers. They were a group of pacifists that refused to use any armour and Dream’s reaction to them is to kill them all and burn anything they built. And he’s doing all this because he thinks he’s entitled to all of the land in the smp and even something as small as og L’Manburg had no right to exist free of his rule.

(Always from the main channel: “Doomsday.”)

Two important things for their relationship happen here: Dream deciding, out of everyone, to kill Tommy specifically in the final control room and the duel (or more so the result of the duel). 

It is something back then no-one wondered about, but why would Dream, the leader of the Greater Dream SMP, go after the second in command instead of the leader? Possibly for the same reason he singled out Tommy in the declaration of war? Possible foreshadowing of their future dynamic?

Also, may I mention that Dream was the one to add the condition that, on top of not getting independence for L’Manburg, Tommy had to give up one of the disks (mellohi) if he lost? And Dream being the one to mention it is the reason why Tommy knew they were valuable to him in the first place. It’s the reason why Tommy proposed the deal of his disks for L’Manburg independence (which worked, which tells us a whole lot about when Dream’s obsession withe the disks started. Man was willing to take an L to have THAT sort of control over Tommy already in season one)

POGTOPIA

Jump to when Tommy and Wilbur get exiled. A lot happens here, but, for the function of this analysis, I’ll only be talking about what pertains to Dream’s and Tommy’s relationship. 

So, at the beginning of exile Dream offers his support for Pogtopia leaving a chest specifically for Tommy (once again, not Wilbur, the leader, but Tommy. He also gives Tommy a lot more stuff then Techno who was arguably a much more valuable asset). In the chest there was: a full set of netherite armour, 3 stacks of ender pearls, an enchanment table, a netherite sword, Dream’s crossbow (”Definitely not penis”), a stack of golde apples, 1 enchanted golden apple, 1 stack of diamonds, 17 obsidian, 3 potions of strenght, a stack of steak and a book written by Dream called “Tyrant” which, again, is addressed soley to Tommy. (In the book he basically says that he doesn’t like Schlatt and that he’s only going to help from the shadows because he can’t directly involve himself). 

Now, for the standards of the time, that was A LOT of stuff. Dream clearly wasn’t half-assing his support to Tommy there (I’d say to “Pogtopia” but, again, it was all specifically for Tommy). He keeps up his help when he intervenes in favour of Tommy in the Battle of the Lake (from the vods channel: “TommyInnit, Dream & Technoblade TEAM UP (dream smp war)”). Before that however he also helps Tommy to lava cast (or attempt to) the Eiffel Tower (built for Karl’s and Sapnap’s honeymoon). For this battle Dream also gives Mars (Sapnap’s and George’s fish) to Tommy (together with quite a few more ender pearls). Their relationship up until this point seems to have improved quite a bit with Tommy immediately trusting Dream again (he seems to be always inclined to trust Dream much in the same way he’s always inclined to trust Wilbur) and Dream seemingly being supportive (although that was actually because he needed both Manburg and Pogtopia to disappear as we discovered later on). 

Fast forward again we have the moment when their relationship sours again: Dream provides Wilbur with the tnt. With this momement we have the confirmation that Dream truly was only siding with them for his own self-interest (as he always considered L’Manburg as his own propriety, independence or not, and he wasn’t happy with Schlatt wanting to expand and being morw ambitious then Wilbur ever was) and Tommy also looses part of his trust in him, though not completely. 

You see, their relationship is a bit more complex then that. In season 1 even when Tommy and Dream were enemies there was never really much bad blood between them. And when I say this I mean that Dream in particular didn’t let there be much bad blood between them, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

After Quackity joins Pogtopia they try to make a plan to get L’Manburg back that would not include blowing it up. After that fails (from the vods channel: “Dream BETRAYS TommyInnit during the Dream SMP Meeting...”) and Fundy joins Pogtopia as well Dream announces that Schlatt gave him something “more valuable then frienship” and he’s now siding with him and leaves the Pogtopians announcing that there is a traitor among them. 

Wilbur: “Dream just wants to be on the side of the rebellion and now that we are the dominant force technically... isn’t that right Dream? Would you say you just want to be on the other side? You just want to be on the other team?” 

Dream: “No I- I don’t think so...” 

Tommy: “Dream’s the good guy Wilbur” 

D: “I think I’d say that my interest is in myself”

So, despite everything, Up to this point Tommy still trusted Dream. Fully trusted him. But now, soon after this conversation, Dream explicitely tells them that he never considered them “friends” they were “convenient allies” for him (a mindset that he carries on later on and brings to an extreme). 

Now you’d think that was the breaking point right? I mean the whole vod was also titled “Dream betrays Tommy” and Dream just left them telling Tommy specifically that no, they were not friends (though Tommy didn’t agree on that point, much like with Techno later on). But that’s not were Dream leaves it. 

First he allows Tommy back in his old base to get some stuff once they’re alone (despite having just said in front of Wilbur, Quackity and Fundy that he’d stab him if he tried going back)

Tommy: “I just don’t understand, why would you team with Schlatt?”

Dream: “Tommy... I’m a business man, you know what that’s like”

T: “No I don’t���

D: “Well you do, of course you do”

God since exile that damn soft condescending tone he does hits me so different... anyway. As you see as soon as he’s alone with Tommy he starts being more friendly, less formal. He also takes on a more menacing persona (I really don’t know how he manages to do both at the same time... no wait, exile. He acts more like how he did in exile). Anyway the switch is actually pretty interesting to see. 

Tommy: “Why would you not team with us?”

Dream: “Tommy... I’ve never been on your team. I have never been on your team, ever!” 

T: “Well I’ve been in your team...”

D: “Wel I- I’m not saying you have. I’ve never been on your team. I’ve never been on anyone’s team” 

And with this we are done with their important interactions for this stream, but wait! They have a war in a few days, right? Well, Dream makes sure to spend that time with Tommy. Like, a lot of it. 

All of “Dream bullies TommyInnit for having low viewers.” Is Dream following Tommy ominously around while mildly inconveniencing and somewhat helping when they’re supposed to be enemies (it’s literally one of my favourite vods, it’s great! It was also the one vod that sparked the “Dream is obsessed with Tommy” theory in me. Yes I’ve had it from all the way back then, but I also was right, so...). 

Tommy: “Okay, so you know how we’re going to war in 7 days time?”

Dream: “Yes”

T: “like, ME and YOU are going to war...”

D: “Yes”

T: “Yes, yeah so I need to- I- it feels very strange to be- I need to prepare for THAT”

D: “Well, what do you need?”

Dream then proceeds to half-help him half-stop him from getting gold in the nether. The whole vod is like this. It definitely has a very weird atmosphere as it’s clear that both of them are fully aware of their respective roles in their upcoming war, but Tommy doesn’t know what to do and Dream is clearly willingly ignoring it all. It’s pretty jarring to watch tbh (together with being a hilarious vod to watch) and it helps starting to paint the picture of Dream having the level of dependence on Tommy that we know he has now.

Then there is “TommyInnit, Dream & Sapnap's PET WAR FINALE” which is LITERALLY THE DAY BEFORE THE WAR. Here Dream, once again, decides to spend the whole time with Tommy. He helps him against Sapnap (who is Dream’s ally) and even decides to lead Tommy to Sapnap’s and Punz’s secret base where they keep their animals and starts encoraging him to kill them. Tommy, of course, refuses and the whole pet war finishes with Sapnap and Tommy releasing Mars and promising to be friends once the war was over. 

Like, honestly, if anyone in Pogtopia had known about this interactions maybe they could have suspected Tommy of being the traitor for legitimate reasons instead of misinterpreting him entirely as a person and thinking he just wanted to be president... and you’d think that, maybe, THAT was Dream’s goal, but... not really? He always made sure to spend time with Tommy when there was no-one from Pogtopia around. In all 3 of this vods he is drastically different when they’re alone and, I mean, he stopped hidining how he is with Tommy only during Doomsday (when he gave his speach on the obsidian grid to Tommy, not caring that Tubbo and Quackity were both there).

To finish it off, we know that season 1 ends with Dream fighting alongside Technoblade and nothing else of significant happens for their relationship. Still, I hope this was comprehensive enough to show that, most definitely, his obsession with Tommy and the having power over Tommy is not a new concept for Dream. It’s something that got worse with time, but it’s most definitely not something new. The main thing that changed throughout season 1 and 2 was Tommy’s perception of Dream (which went from easy trust and friendship to hatred and fear), not vice versa.

Also may I add that Dream's constantly acting friendly when they most definitely aren't is probably one of the reasons why Tommy was so predisposed to accepting Dream as his friend in exile? Just a thought...

@ladycatland

[blorbosondeck]

fic rec masterlist

canon divergent/finale fix its

Anamnesis

THIS! FIC! this fic lives in my head rent FREE it is so good and it makes so much sense in the narrative that the shitty finale concocted, as to why they wouldn't mention cas or anyone else and its just. so good and they write chuck in the most villainous way that i love!!!

"Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be. Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19."

Sunset Sound: Stairway to Heaven by @adhdeancas

GOD FUCKING CHRIST this is so good and sweet and im such a sucker for team ups and reunions!!! its 3:30 am rn and i just finished it and i love it SO much it made me laugh a lot and the last few chapters i had the stupidest grin just plastered to my face

The Closer the Star, the Greater the Parallax by @rocksalts​

repressed bastard dean submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known and receives the rewards of being loved but only after some miscommunication i LOVE this i read it last night and it’s a fast favorite. my interests have overlapped and i am INTO it

“When Dean sits down to watch some bullcrap Discovery Channel episode with Cas, he doesn’t expect to actually learn anything. Except, with Cas explaining, he makes an effort to connect the dots.”

Don't We All Deserve To Be Happy?

VERY sweet and a VERY good pick me up. all around feel good fic!!! 

"Post-canon fix-it, divergent from 15x19 where Jack stays and Dean doesn't die and Cas comes back and everyone is happy. Take a shot every time I'm salty about the finale."

Keep Your Love Alive

okay. okay okay okay this may be my favorite finale fix it just because of how well reasoned it is. like this feels what should have happened i love it SO much

"Dean gets to spend eternity sharing beers with Bobby on the Roadhouse porch and riding around in his Baby with Sam. He’s at peace… or he feels like he should be. But a few things nag at him: Where is Cas, and everybody else Dean had been hoping to see in Heaven? Why does he feel like he’s stuck in a loop, reliving the same memories over and over again? And who are the strangers wearing Sam’s and Bobby’s faces?"

The GoldenRod Revisions by @aethylas​

this is one of the most well written things ive ever read. the script format DID make it feel more real and honestly? this is better writing than this show deserves. the finale that could have been ♥️

“A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.“

Ascend by @wanderingcas​ 

THEE finale fix it fic!!! written by the AMAZINGLY skilled and talented @wanderingcas !!! it’s 50k of angst and hurt/comfort and pure bliss

“Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?”

Things Happen (They Do, And They Do, And They Do) by THEE @sobsicles

i KNOW everyone has already recommended this and likely you’ve all already read it. but it has to go here bc REPRESSIOOOOOOOOON i LOVE this so much it is one of the most perfect things i’ve read. are you bisexual? did you have a kind of weird relationship with your best friend and not realize that how you felt about them wasn’t necessarily how other people felt about them and you were maybe a little bit in love with them but were too repressed to realize it? you’ll feel seen. maybe a little too seen

Closer (isn't close enough)

are you a sweet and sappy yet horny bastard? do you like cas exploding light bulbs? you will like this.

“the one where they finally talk about what cas said before the empty took him”

You and Your Husband

it is exTRMELY sweet!!! repression dean strikes again <3

"Five times Dean corrects someone about his relationship with Cas, and one time he realizes he doesn't need to."

Tall Grass

miscommunication and a slowburn! despite being written in 2017 and finished in 2018, it feels like a fix it. ft. plant obsessed cas <3 

Invictus

a LOVELY and short (relatively) finale fix it

“They saved the world. They're free. It's done.

Except it's not, and carrying on is the last thing any of them are thinking about.

They still have someone they need to save.”

Unchained Link

post finale- it’s a great case fic and i am compelled i want more!!!

"It's after the end of things. Life continues on while Dean is "livin it up" in heaven. But it's never that simple, is it? A freak occurrence sends Dean into another time stranded back on Earth. And he thought his hunting days were over. But, no worries. His knight in shining armor comes to the rescue. Hijinks, therefore, ensue."

fun and time unspecified

Ladies and Gentlemen, This is Love Potion No. 5

very funny and sweet! miscommunication at its finest ♥️

"Cas gets drenched with a mystery potion from the ‘love spell’ shelf and... Dean has a sneaking suspicion, angel or no— the spell may have taken effect. And Cas might be in love with Sam."

The Way We Were

Y'all. It is so good its a great mix of funny and serious- extremely fun to see dean as like a base bisexual

"Dean and Castiel pose as a couple to gain access to a gated community known as 'The Glen', a pleasant if secretive location that the boys believe might be linked to several dead bodies showing up over the years bearing signs of ritualistic sacrifice. All seems well until Dean's memory is affected from an incident during a solo exploration, leaving Dean convinced that their cover story is true. Castiel is left trying to resolve their case without taking advantage of an increasingly enthusiastic Dean"

While You Were Sleeping

this is basically just the movie but replacing sandra bullock with cas. this is my comfort movie and imo, one of the most perfect rom coms. the fic isn’t finished but i still have the tab open on my phone and i will straight up go back and re read it when i need a pick me up. 

aus/rewrites

The Harvelle Gospels: Offscript

i know everyone ever ( @jewishcharliebradbury ) has recommended this fic. and for good reason go fucking read it

“The Apocalypse is averted, the angels are in Heaven, and Jo is free from the threat of possession. Somehow it couldn't be farther from a happy ending.“

absolute riots

An Ineffably Profound Bond

i honestly would have put this in the finale fix it section! look. i know. i know you've been burned by crossover fics before. but this is Thee good omens/spn fic you want. its funny as hell and immensely satisfying. im weak for everyone working together tropes and that is this

"After Chuck sets 'The End' in motion, the remaining members of TFW make a miraculous escape. Not willing to waste any time, Castiel comes up with a plan to travel to one of the other worlds to try and get help from the angels there, but after a fight with Dean, it's the hunter who gets sent into an alternate universe,with seemingly no hope of return.

When a mysterious human with a heavenly weapon shows up in Aziraphale's shop, he and Crowley learn that their world is not the only one. Now it is up to them to decide whether or not they want to join forces with the human and help him save his world or simply find a way to send him home."

Somebody Up There Likes Me by @lafilleredige

cas is hit with a spell that turns his vessel into a woman, hijinks and sexuality crises ensue etc etc sam is a supportive and bitchy little brother and its all SO fucking funny and also. horny as hell i love it i love it i LOVE it

“’Dean doesn’t want to talk about your breasts, it’s making him uncomfortable because he hasn’t acknowledged the complex fluidity of human sexuality.’“

Stray Cat Strut

a long crack fic that IS one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and i can’t explain why. it’s so ooc but its so funny that i don’t care. if you need a laugh you gotta read this

"Sam and Cas are immediately in love with the adorable kitty they find outside the bunker door, and occupy their time planning how to convince Dean--who they believe is off sulking after a botched hunt--to let them keep their cat. Along the way, Dean learns to use a litter box and hears some confessions he maybe wasn’t supposed to hear, all while realizing just how much he loves Castiel.

Now all Dean has to do is convince Cas and Sam their new pet cat is actually him before they do something crazy--like neuter him!"

canon compliant or slight canon divergence

Give

by @doublestuffedimpala post season 7 episode 7, kind of ambiguous ending but truly a cas is happy to bleed for the winchesters fic

Punch Like Bones 

short, post 5x04 homoerotic moment that i wish we’d gotten

[the-king-andthe-lionheart]

Arya is the Night Wolf, not the “Lone Wolf” - I said what I said

“When the cold winds blow the lone wolf dies and the pack survives” is a quote only given to Arya, by Ned, in this series and it’s very clearly a warning.  It’s a warning to keep her pack close, especially in winter, because when the pack strays, when they are alone, they are picked off.  He gives her this quote because Arya and Sansa are quarreling (I really wish he gave Sansa a speech like this too, but alas!) and “Winter is Coming.”  Arya hears this quote again when she’s in the Godswood at Harrenhal, when she hears the Old Gods/Greenseers speak in Ned’s voice.  Whoever is speaking to her though reminds her who she is, where she comes from, and it gives her the strength she needs to not only escape, but to save her friends, Hot Pie and Gendry.  And the third time we see this quote is in AFFC:

They are not my Seven. They were my mother's gods, and they let the Freys murder her at the Twins. She wondered whether she would find a godswood in Braavos, with a weirwood at its heart. Denyo might know, but she could not ask him. Salty was from Saltpans, and what would a girl from Saltpans know about the old gods of the north? The old gods are dead, she told herself, with Mother and Father and Robb and Bran and Rickon, all dead. A long time ago, she remembered her father saying that when the cold winds blow the lone wolf dies and the pack survives. He had it all backwards. Arya, the lone wolf, still lived, but the wolves of the pack had been taken and slain and skinned. - Arya I AFFC

Here we see Arya having a crisis of faith.  The gods didn’t protect her?  They must be false then.  Almost her entire family, that she knows of, has been slaughtered or are too out of reach to get to?  She must be a “lone wolf”.  So here Arya is having a crisis of faith and calling herself a lone wolf.  She is feeling low and alone and grieving still (this takes place probably not even a month after the Red Wedding, perhaps 2 months?), and because of this she is twisting Ned’s words.  Arya herself isn’t taking into account that one of the reasons why her family has been decimated or lost to her in other ways, is because they were all separated, they were all lone wolves.  But because Arya has twisted the meaning of Ned’s words, she thinks that being alone, away from her pack, is the reason she survived, which is completely false.  So it’s Arya’s job to come to the realization that that is definitely not the reason for her continued survival.  That is why she was given that quote and why it’s only ever mentioned in her chapters, because it’s part of her journey to learn her “realization” is wrong.  ARYA IS NOT A LONE WOLF.  

Want to know why?  Because canon is constantly saying otherwise, and even Arya later contradicts this quote.  And she does this by showing that she still believes in the Old Gods after this fact.  She refers to the Old Gods as wanting her to keep Needle and she even thinks in Mercy how the gods had shown her favor by putting Raff the Sweetling in her path.  Arya also gives herself the nickname the Night Wolf to replace this “lone wolf” business.  ARYA IS THE NIGHT WOLF.

So why is it that even fans of Arya are calling her the Lone Wolf?  To me that’s like calling Bran the Wingless Wolf or Sansa the Cruel Wolf or Robb the Old Wolf or Jon the Gray Wolf.  It’s contradictory.  Arya is in fact an EXTROVERT.  She started as an extrovert, and despite what she has gone through, she is STILL an extrovert.  And if you don’t believe me then re-read the Cat of the Canals chapter, because in that chapter, Arya isn’t acting when she’s making all her friends in Braavos.  Her name is new and her backstory is new but her personality is that of Arya, just like her personality was always consistent to Arya whether she was Arya or Arry or Weasel or Nan or Squab or Salty.  Arya is also one of the only Starks that have consistent companions and friends for more than one book besides Jon and Bran.  Arya was with two of her friends for two books before THEY left her.  Arya is also very pack oriented and she is constantly trying to build a pack.  The only time we don’t see this is when she’s deep in the throes of grief (directly after Ned’s execution and after the Red Wedding, and this crisis of faith wasn’t that long after the Red Wedding).

But more importantly, if Arya is this “Lone Wolf”, then what are her siblings then?  Aren’t they all “Lone Wolves?”  Because unless I missed something, they are all ALONE and not with their blood family.  At first I thought this was a side effect from the TV show, but then I was reading an old archived forum from 2012 and someone asked this same freaking question.  Yes, Arya called herself a lone wolf ONCE, but it was during a crisis of faith.  But why has this name stuck to Arya rather than her being the Night Wolf (you know the name that’s probably foreshadowing something about her during the Long Night, like how Arya learning how to navigate the dark at the HOBAW is likely foreshadowing for the Long Night as well?).  Especially considering how freaking contradictory the name “Lone Wolf” is to her actual character’s personality (her extroversion and ability to make friends with anyone) and her actual themes of pack/family and home.  Like I get it, it’s a cool name, it sounds badass, but so does the Night Wolf, and the actual name the Night Wolf actually better pertains to Arya.  And truthfully I feel like too many people in fandom see the moniker “Lone Wolf” and complete write Arya off as nothing but some anti-social serial killer who will overall have no purpose in this story other than to die and give Sansa her wolf and I’m so not down with that. :/

[tandytoaster]

This got really long oops

Weird realization. So the 2 things I’m massively upset about are Princess Fluffy and the fact that the world will never be what it once was and it will be years, if ever, that I will be as happy as I was in 2019. Both of those feelings are grief. Grieving the loss of my cat, and grieving the loss of a time that was much better for me. But for some reason, I can more easily accept the grief that comes with Princess Fluffy than the grief that comes with the loss of my joy for life?

Both things were entirely out of my control, both things are the worst losses I have ever sustained. Maybe it’s because I’ve dealt with pet death before, and that I seen it coming, and I was prepared to say goodbye, maybe that’s why I can handle that better than the other. Like, how the hell could I have predicted in March 2020 that in another few months, the world would have endured mass death unlike it’s ever seen, combined with extreme self entitlement becoming louder among society, along with the fact that I would move out of my home in another few months, uprooting all of my routines that I had built over the course of my life, only for it to take over a year to re-introduce them back into my life and some not even returning, with my feelings of hopelessness and suicidal ideation returning just a few months after getting a job that I went to college for, ADDED onto the initial spark that caused this all came with a fear of the public and severe illness that, in order to avoid, we had to avoid all of our regular spots we liked to be, and in reducing our interaction with the public, I feel like I lost a lot of my ability to interact with other humans in a normal way, AND we can’t walk around town anymore because we are in hiding from a dangerous, unpredictable person that we have no way to track so we just never walk around town anymore, which was one of my favourite things about 2019 - finally walking around my town that i have lived in for all of my life but never was able to actually explore. And self defense is out of the question bc in Canada anything you hurt another person with in self defense is still classified as a weapon and we’d be the ones getting in shit over that

So like. If I wanted to spend the rest of my life longing for a feeling I would never have again, a happiness unlike anything I have ever felt in my 22 years of living, fucking honestly if I waned to do that I would’ve just started doing heroin. Because AT LEAST THEN, you can get high again. You have the means to do that (for clarity’s sake I know with drug use you get to a point where you need to increase the amount of said drug to reach the desired effect bc you get used to it after a while). I do not have the means to recreate the atmosphere that I had 3 years ago.

Like, I try to look at the bright side, I try to look at all the things I have now, things I got with the money I earned from my job (My job that I just quit because new management took over and it became unbearable), the pieces of media that have come out in the past 2 years that i’ve enjoyed, the little experiences I have with my girlfriend since all of this had happened. But like. She and I were much happier before (in a general sense not a relationship sense) and we had so much more certainty to our lives before the world got sick. I would give away every single thing I bought since the world got sick if it meant that we could return to a state of being where I was in 2019. For months now I’ve felt like my life is over and that everything is ending, and for a while my imagination was enough to keep me feeling something positive. But lately I’m finding it harder and harder to get the proper joy from my scenarios. I officially am no longer employed at the job that I resigned from last week, so now that I will have more free time to myself I’m hoping that I’ll be able to make meaning of life in a way that makes it more bearable, and maybe the dangerous person will fall off the face of the earth and we can walk around town again

This isn’t where I meant for this to go.

But here’s a nice thing from today.

When I was doing the dishes and on a discord call with my friend, I noticed the first viola of this spring right outside my window :,-) my favourite flower

[soramel]

Curiosity didn’t kill the cat | jjk ff

Part 3

jjkxreader 

Prompt: “You’re early,” said the grim reaper with a hint of amusement.

Fantasy au, grimreaper!jungkook, reader, romance, slow-burn

Words: 3.4k approx. Part 3/5

Check this out on my wattpad account! I post one part ahead there.

--

Hollowing emptiness filled up your chest as a barren land came into view. An empty riverbed covered with ashes. You squinted against the ray of the sun.

You see nothing but the sky's horizon, another glare of light sent you looking down. Your hand served as the only shade against the glaring sun.

Blink.

Everything went dark.

A yearning love.

Your fist was clenched against your heart as it ached from within. You feel butterflies in your stomach. The unsettling yet warm feeling grew and grew until it became too much it made you curl down.

Everything feels soft against your skin. Silk satin draped around your body. You looked up, finding yourself in a bedchamber. Lamps were laid out on the wooden floor and on the tables, lighting up the darkness with dimmed warmth. You saw a man. His back against yours. His shoulder spanned wide as he slipped in a red robe.

Your fingers ached to reach him, to hold.

You lifted your hand.

Then suddenly, you're running on an empty hallway. Things passing in a blur.

Your eyes feel strained, your face drenched wet with sweat and your mouth could taste the salty tears running down your cheeks. Lifting your layered petticoat, the silk of its outer skirt crumpled against your palm.

Despite the confusion, you continued running. You just know you have to.

You have to escape.

They're coming.

Then a sudden realization stopped you in your tracks. As if air was pushed out of your lungs.

A high-pitched cry ripped through the air, like a wounded animal's, but it was from you. You found the helpless sound coming from your throat. You stared down at your arms grasping your body for something you could hold.

You realized you lost everything you fought for.

You're empty, yet you're filled full to the brim. Your cup overflowing with gut-wrenching pain, loss, and grief. Those emotions were deep-rooted from the love you have for him.

It dawned you.

It's all his fault.

The man you thought you love.

It's his fault.

He brought you nothing but suffering. You laid your heart out and sought for the little love he could give.

Yet there's been no one to yearn for but him, the future you could have together, the family you could have built. If things were just different.

A nightmare

That's what it is.

You jolted awake in a cold sweat.

Breathing in and out, you calmed yourself. Everything was just a dream. You're not dead. You're here in...

Whose place is this?

You turned to the creak of a door. Jungkook's all dressed in black. A fedora hat on his hand.

"Y/n," he greeted. "How was your sleep?"

"Jungkook?" you asked. Confused at how you knew his name.

His eyes went wide before nodding. "Yeah, I'm Jungkook, your assigned grim reaper."

You exhaled as you realized last night was not a dream. You died by mistake. In your sweater and pajamas.

"By the way, I have clothes for you. I figured you should come with me. For your safety,"

He then opened his bedroom door wider for you to come in.

--

The black trench coat felt heavy on your shoulder. Your outfit is similar to his, except the sordid hat on his head. He figured you could look like a grim reaper to ward off any wandering souls. Scaring them might help, save for the starving ones like the woman you encountered last night.

It's been five minutes of standing by on a bus stop. He just stood there and stared off in a distance. On an ordinary day, you thought you'd be stared down by the odd combo of your outfits, but at that moment, your presence was not visible to their eyes.

Jungkook pulled out his tablet as you watch the pedestrians crossing the street, envying how they go on with their mundane routine. Jungkook's brows furrowed as he navigated through the gadget, as if re-reading something.

You saw a ball rolled off the street, its owner chasing after the object. The boy sped off at the last few seconds, oblivious to the truck speeding above the limit.

Pointing your finger to the child, you tried to notify the people around you, "The-the..." you stuttered.

There's no time.

You ran to the boy without much thought, failing to notice you went to your desired position in a blink.

The grim reaper whipped his head up at the air's whoosh. His eyes widened as he saw you pitting yourself against the truck to protect the boy. Jungkook yelled after you, anger and worry bubbling from his chest at your stupidity.

Before he could yank you out of the way, a lapse in time occurred. No one felt it, except the grim reaper who's baby-sitting you.

Then the truck swerved to a different direction, screeching tires marked the road as the driver desperately tried to stop. But it was too late.

Shocked gasps rippled through the watching crowd. You turned back at the boy's sudden cry. He was attended to by his mother whose face was etched with burdening worry. You stared back to the man laying on the pavement. His body being crowded by the bystanders as they called for an ambulance.

A strong grip yanked you to the other side. Jungkook was raging. He was lost for words for a second before ending up shouting, "Who the fuck do you think you are?!"

You flinched from the pain of his gripping hold and from fear.

You took a step back.

"I... he's a child. The truck..."

"Why would you interfere?! Is that child's life different from the man's?! Who are you to weigh lives on your hands?! Have you lost your mind?!"

Lips trembling at his outburst, you looked back at the site of the incident. "I didn't know, I didn't mean to..."

I didn't mean to kill him.

You yanked back your arm, covering your ears upon hearing a voice. You stared at Jungkook in horror.

I think I am... I'm going crazy, you thought to yourself.

"He's alive!" Someone from the crowd shouted. The sound of ambulance echoed, approaching in a distance.

Jungkook dragged you to the scene, never letting go of you as he crouched down to hold the man's wrist.

A sigh of relief escaped his lips.

"He'll be fine," he muttered, more like to himself.

"I'm sorry," you told him, guilt laced in your tone.

--

The rest of the day were all spent in silence. Jungkook fetched two more souls and all the while you were just there beside him as he does his work, basically acting like his shadow.

You were walking down the sidewalk of a business district after sending off his last soul for today. He was supposed to send off three if not for your interference. He should've 6 souls left after this day, but you being in his roster and the child's suddenly shifted fate this morning, he's still 8 souls away from finishing his duty.

He tapped off on his tablet with a resigned hum as he found his schedule empty.

Tucking in the device back to his coat, he stared off across the buildings like an old man.

His gaze then fell to yours. Your eyes filled with innocence as you watch him.

He tutted before continuing walking. You sauntered after, head down.

"Ngghhhh..." you looked up at the noise and almost yelped at the gory looking ghost. His clothes were tattered, but he looks way more decent than the one you encountered last night. His eyes were dazed, staring at you.

Jungkook calmly diverted you to the other side, placing himself between you and the ghost, and you both kept on walking. He patiently said, "Don't stop. He wouldn't dare."

You followed his instruction, but your eyes were somehow glued on the man, seeing one of his shoes is missing. Jungkook hissed, "Eyes ahead."

You flinched and diverted your head forward. Only to face a busy lady engrossed on her phone. Jungkook halted pulling you in front of him to get you out of the way.

It's your first time seeing his face up-close in daylight. It was only then when you noticed that he's not wearing his fedora, his hair is clean-cut short, showing his eyes and ears. His hair is still down but gone were the unruly curls you remembered he was sporting.

"Your hair changed," you muttered, gaze grazing the outline of his face.

Jungkook blinked. Once. Twice.

Flick!

"Aw!" you yelped as you rub your forehead. The area he hit felt pulsing.

You glared him down, "What was that for?!"

He leaned back a bit, cocking his head to the side, "Thought of rebooting your brain. Guess my power's limited."

Your jaw went slack at the insult.

He stepped to the side and continued on walking. He then decided to brief you, "As an ordinary ghost, bumping through a human would mess up both of your energy. It's best to avoid them when you can."

Nodding in understanding, you strolled to his side, carefully avoiding any living humans on the sidewalk.

"Where are we heading?" you asked him.

"Nowhere," he replied.

The both of you kept walking for what felt like an hour. When he took a turn at the end of a curb, you couldn't help but complain, "For how long are we walking, can't you just teleport us to that place? I'm tired."

He turned to you, realization dawning on him. He then looked around and found an empty café. Without saying anything, he walked again.

"Aish, that arrogant jerk. @2^;*&! $%#4," you grumbled under your breath.

Jungkook held the door open for you. It's a wonder that he stays chivalrous when he's like the arrogant narcissistic bastards you've met before. One second he's looking after you, the next he acts as if you're a lint he's living with. A dirt he wants to dust off but will continue to live on his life.

He looked at you indifferently as you passed by with a glare.

You took the seat near a window, then the grim reaper followed, taking the seat in front of you.

The café was relatively empty. Its interiors adorned with fake plants and orchids. The walls were painted with wood and brick-like patterns. The table has a centerpiece of tissue holder, plastered with italics, "A true heart remembers".

Your gaze then turned back to Jungkook. You opened your mouth to say something, but his expression cut you off.

There he goes again.

Looking at you as if you're a parasite he's yet to figure out. His condescending stare ticks off your nerves.

You raised a brow, "What?"

He inhaled with a hiss, then tapped his fingers incessantly on the table as he exhaled.

"I haven't met someone as unfortunate as you," he started.

Lifting a hand closed to a fist, he unfolded his pinky finger, "You're below an average college student,"

followed by the next, "You barely have friends,"

and another, "You died on the way to your solitude, by mistake at that,"

Cocking his head to the side, he spoke to himself this time, his gaze averting yours, "Maybe if you're not a sore loser and attended that party, you could have lived, and I wouldn't be in this dire situation."

"I mean..." he trailed off.

"Nothing's so special about you,"

"Why?" he pouted, wondering as he held his hands up. You scowled. "Aside from brave stupidity, there's nothing much."

You shouted at his relentless insults, startling him.

"Will you really keep this up?" you asked, voice laced with sheer annoyance.

With his eyes wide, he reiterated, "I'm helping you here!"

He waggled his hand beside his forehead, saying, "I've been racking up my brain,"

Then he gestured towards you, "While you create trouble one after the other,"

"Maybe you don't have one. Don't try so hard," you retaliated.

Crossing your arms on your chest, you added, "Maybe if you're not a sore loser and did your life differently, you wouldn't be a grim reaper and you wouldn't have to put up with me."

He closed his mouth at that for a moment, before muttering, "I've been at this job ever since. I'm finishing my duty so I could live as a human."

The rush of triumph turned to guilt in a flicker.

"You were not reincarnated?" you curiously asked.

"I..." he trailed off, "I haven't asked. I don't know. Really."

You frowned, "Why would you want to be a human, anyway? You're powerful. You don't get tired, you don't get to work and fit a measly salary in a month, you don't have to study," the list on your mind could actually go on as to why he's better off than you.

"It's lonely to be alone," he simply replied.

"And that's my dream, as a grim reaper. We all want to be human after delivering 700 souls. I haven't questioned that career path ever since."

Your right cheek twitched. He's weird, they're weird. It's weird talking about supernaturals as if it's a corporate world. Jungkook sounded like a corporate slave.

At that, you sighed in realization. Even in the Afterlife, or whatever dimension you're in, it's all the same.

He called your name, reaching for your hands across the table. "That's why we should figure out how to fix your fate line. The spirit guide's helping us, but what if we discover something important to your case? The faster we figure things out together, the better."

Your gaze shifted from his hands to his face.

The surrounding brightened. Birds were chirping and you're hearing the still water's splashing against the bank.

You found Jungkook beaming at you. The first genuine smile you saw from him. The corners of his lips lifted into a curve, a bit of his gums showing, his pearly whites sparkling, his eyes twinkling in joy.

He's wearing a cylindrical hat, its wide brim filtering out the rays of the sun. His hair is in a top-knot as you can see through the partly transparent headpiece.

His dimple accentuated as he spoke, "Marry me,"

When you didn't answer, he mistook the confused look on your face. "The King gave us his blessing. The General, I mean, your father knows. He also agreed," he further explained.

"Jungkook," you breathed out.

Then the brightness faded, bringing you back to the café.

Jungkook was in much astonishment as you. You snatched your hands away, leaving his palms open.

It's of no-use but you truly felt your heart beating fast. You stared back to his eyes and again your heart skipped a beat.

"What was that?" he asked. "Did you see what I saw?"

You nodded. "I, we," you tried to compose a coherent sentence, but failed.

He nodded eagerly, "I need to make a call," he stood up, not waiting for a reply.

Jungkook went outside the café as he dialed on the phone. You met his eyes, and he didn't back down, giving you a steady intent look.

You could only see his mouth moving as he spoke.

Then waited, as he stared at you.

You steered away from his gaze as he snapped out of a trance. After a while, he brought his phone down.

You watch him go back to you, averting your eyes.

He wet his lips before saying, "The spirit guide is on an important matter right now. His secretary insisted on meeting him as planned."

"Have you told her what happened?" you asked.

Jungkook nodded, "I did, but he's with..." he trailed off and pointed his finger up.

Well, you can do nothing for now. You need to wait.

You nodded in acknowledgment.

--

It's nighttime and you were now in his apartment. You were sitting down on the couch as he paced back and forth in his living room, dizzying you in the process.

"Jungkook," you warned for the second time, begging him to stop.

"You asked to marry me, we were husband and wife, in our past life, so grim reapers do have a past," he chanted for the nth time.

"Hah! How dare them lie to us. They just wanted us to do their work without us making a fuss? 700 souls! Do you know how many criminals, psychopaths, nagging wives, and alcoholic husbands I've dealt with? It felt like a thousand! In exchange of what? This apartment and these boring clothes, that's it!"

He ranted.

"I should tell Taehyung and Yoongi about this," he resolved.

You let out an exasperated sigh. "And what? Form a union?" you asked with sarcasm.

He looked at you in horror, "Marriage is only for two people."

"Are you stupid?" he added before fumbling on his phone.

You rolled your eyes. You should've felt offended, but you couldn't even bother to correct him. That's how hopeless you think he is.

And stupid

And narcissistic at that.

"I didn't ask to marry you. You asked to marry me," you nonchalantly repeated for the second time again. However, you didn't even bother if he heard you or not. Jungkook also didn't care. His brows in a furrow as he waited for the other line to be picked up.

It seemed no one answered, but he tried again.

"Taehyung!" he exclaimed.

"Are you done?" he asked, taking a seat beside you.

"Meet me at my place and bring Yoongi hyung. I have big news for you, you wouldn't believe it."

"This is more important! Absolutely! It's a secret and you'll know it first from me."

"Ah, I can't go there. Too many roaming souls. I have..." he paused, looking at you, before continuing, "I have a baggage here."

You gaped at the use of his words.

Jungkook stood up, heading to the window. "No, I can't carry it. Just bring home soju and pears. Ah and if there's some porridge and rice cakes. Okay? Bye!"

He turned around and grinned at you, "I have a treat coming for you!"

Then you thought, he reminded you of Jimin's pet. That white ball of fur who did nothing but eat carrots and cabbage all day long.

"Cats, and dogs, and rabbits are lucky, they have a working pet to buy them food," you mockingly teased Jimin one time who's beaming at his bunny as he watched the cute monster chew.

--

"What?!" Taehyung yelled.

Jungkook smugly nodded. Taehyung stared at you then back to Jungkook. "So, she's your wife?" he asked to confirm.

You winced and cringed and you craved to fold your fingers. Taehyung is worse than Jungkook.

The bunny nodded once and proclaimed to emphasize a point, "She asked me to marry her."

You bit your lower lip in annoyance and threw the rice cake back to the paper plate. The three grim reapers were startled by your action.

Donning a fake smile, you tried your best to be patient and slowly explained, "Jungkook asked to marry me."

"We were in a lake," you started.

Taehyung looked at you attentively as he's sitting across the coffee table, ready to hear the version of your story. You pulled his hands to yours, "Then he held my hands,"

"He smiled at me, like this," you demonstrated. Trying to copy the face you remember with all the twinkling eyes.

"Then said, 'Marry me,'"

Jungkook, who's sat beside you, abruptly slapped your hands away from his friend. "Ouch!" you fussed, glaring at him.

"Why did you have to hold his hands? Saying that! Doing that!" he protested.

In which you argued, "So you'd remember! Your ass is too up high on your head! Why?!"

A giggle escaped Taehyung's lips as he nuzzled near Yoongi. "Look at them, they're so cute together!" he squeaked as he hugged the man. You winced at his remark.

Yoongi hissed in irritation. He pushed Taehyung's head away while the younger tried to brush his head off against him. Yoongi still won.

Out of the three, Yoongi seemed the most normal to you.

"Maybe you have to relive your life together to remember what happened," he muttered.

"But grim reapers are not supposed to remember their past, Jungkook. You have to be prepared."

Then he went on, "I knew grim reapers who crossed the 7 Trials without knowing their past. I also knew some who learned about who they were, but still chose to vanish. I don't know why."

He stared up, looking both of you in the eyes, as he said his final piece, "Remember who you were, but don't get too attached to your past. There's only one way forward."

[rhetoricalrogue]

Five More Minutes

Inspired by all the talk about various detectives turning and knowing that Astrid needs to be Dramatic™️ at times, here she is, giving her boyfriend (and mother, and honorary mother figure, and best friends, and...) grief post-turning. This most likely would take place a couple of years into a relationship with Adam, and she’s had a while to decide that this is the path she wants to take for the rest of her (hopefully long) life.

As always, Fiona belongs to @asaucyginger. I borrow her from time to time for shenanigans and to antagonize Adam. Astrid also has Chris Hemsworth giving out complements as her alarm clock on her phone, but only has that alarm on when Adam’s not around since while she may appreciate waking up to the sound of her celebrity crush, she knows the feeling is most definitely not mutual for Adam.

She slept for a solid week after making the transition from human to vampire. It’s wasn’t even a typical for her type of slumber - eyes twitching behind closed eyelids, breath soft and limbs relaxed - she slept as if she were literally dead, stiff, no movement whatsoever. If it weren’t for the sluggish single beat of her heart every ten seconds (Adam knew, every count of ten had been absolute torture until he heard it beat again,) Agency doctors would have deemed the procedure a failure.

One of the few positives for her being unresponsive after her change - a change that had been fairly uneventful, boring even, blessedly peaceful in it’s own way with a minimum of pain - was that she hadn’t been awake to witness the doctors perform surgery on her leg to extract the various screws and plates that she had lived with since she had been nineteen. Adam wondered how their absence would change the way she fought, seeing that she and Fiona had worked to design a swordfighting style to accommodate for a weaker knee and to protect her ankle.

The scar would remain, the doctors told them both, fairy and vampire momentarily setting aside their differences for the person they both loved as they had both paced the waiting room in worry. There was a slight tone of apology to that announcement, but both of them had breathed a sigh of relief.

One of the things Astrid had worried about was losing her scars, voicing a fear that everything her body had gone through in her short thirty-three years of existence would be wiped clean and rendered meaningless. Adam hoped she would be pleased when she discovered it hadn’t, even though the last traces of the scar Murphy had inflicted upon her had vanished, her new nature taking care of what Agency magic and medicine had started. He wondered if she would be relieved to have it gone, seeing as its presence had always bothered her and she took pains to hide it, even though it hadn’t been that visible to the ordinary eye.

Since she’d still been unresponsive after the first hour, her first feeding, and every other feeding since, had been done intravenously. Adam watched through the security cameras as Elidor had carefully set her up for the transfusion. No one had voiced it out loud, but everyone knew about how she had bitten Murphy in a similar situation. If she had bitten off a piece of his face as a human, there was no telling what she could do as a vampire if she suddenly woke up and had a negative flashback response. To his credit, Elidor had been unafraid, patting her limp hand and holding a cheerful, one-sided conversation with her the entire time.

A day passed and visitors arrived at the observation room. Markus and Tony became fixtures, both refusing to leave even after Tony almost got into a fight with security about not being allowed into Astrid’s room. She was too unstable, they said. There was no way to know how she would react if she woke up: she might be fine, she might decide to make a snack out of one of her oldest and dearest friends. It took both Fiona and Markus to talk him down and lead him back down the hall before he got kicked out of the facility.

Adam and the rest of Unit Bravo learned a lot of goofy stories about Astrid from the other three. Markus tended to stick with anecdotes from battle re-enactments and drunken post-fighting party hijinks while Tony went on tangents about their many annual Fancy New Year’s Eve parties in the City. Fiona’s voice grew soft as she recounted Astrid’s childhood and what it had been like to be a caretaker turned honorary mother figure to her since Astrid was two. Rebecca, who hadn’t budged from looking at her daughter through the monitor, thanked her for being there for Astrid when she couldn’t.

On the sixth day, the doctors allowed Cashew in, thinking that a familiar pet would bring her out of her catatonic state. Cashew, Adam was relieved to see, was unfazed by his mistress’s transformation. He merely gave her chin a few headbutts while honking plaintively before curling up at her side, his head resting in her elbow and his feet fitting into the palm of her hand. After an hour of no response, Cashew was put back into his crate and taken back to Adam’s room in the Facility. Adam knew that he wouldn’t stray far from the place until Astrid could go home, so prior to her turning, the two of them made sure Cashew would be comfortable there. Aside from a few honks to let them know he would have rather preferred his own home instead of the temporary setup, the cat had seemed fine.

Adam broke rank on the seventh day. He didn’t know if it was his fear that the woman he loved would never wake, agony at being so close yet so incredibly far from her for an entire week, the fact that he desperately needed to sleep - Nate had begged him to rest, promising that he would wake him at the slightest hint of change. Adam had refused; how could he sleep with Astrid in this state? - or a combination of the three, but in the early hours of the morning, he silently made his way out of the observation room, moving past everyone dozing in chairs and cots that had been set up for them, and walking purposely down the hall. The lone security guard only made the barest of attempts to stop him before standing down, most likely because the look on Adam’s face had stopped them in their tracks.

Astrid’s room held a faint antiseptic scent to it, most likely from the wipes used on her arm for her daily transfusions. The monitor she was hooked up to beeped in time with the slow beating of her heart and now that he was there with her in person, he could see the shallow, barely there rise and fall of her chest as she drew breath. Adam sat at the edge of the bed and counted: ten beats for her heart, twenty for her breath.

“Must you be so dramatic?” he asked, his hand reaching out to bring hers up, his lips pressed against her knuckles before turning her hand over and leaving a lingering kiss to her palm. “This has gone on long enough, don’t you think?”

The video in the observation room, no matter how crisp, had failed to capture the almost luminous quality of her skin correctly. She’d always had a healthy glow to her pale skin, but now it was highlighted even more. The freckles that dusted the tops of her cheeks and across her nose were still there as well, but they were subdued, like constellations obscured by a cloudy sky. Adam winced at the thought, knowing Nate could come up with a better metaphor.

He pressed a second kiss to her palm, then another to her wrist. Aside from the barest of changes to her complexion and a brighter, healthier sheen to her copper hair, Astrid had not changed. It wouldn’t have mattered to him one way or another: Astrid was Astrid no matter what she looked like and he would love her in any form she took, but he knew it would matter to her. Adjusting to whatever new preternatural abilities she gained would be an ordeal in itself, adjusting while feeling like a stranger in her own body would have added a level of difficulty to the process.

“I know you hate to wake on time, but please.” Adam reached out with his other hand and tenderly cupped her cheek. “Wake up. For me.”

Moments passed. Three heartbeats, two exhales. Adam hunched down and pressed his face against her chest, silently hoping to feel her fingers comb through his hair. “You’re forcing my hand,” he told her, gathering her close. Moving until his mouth brushed against the shell of her ear, he closed his eyes and grimaced. “The things I do for you.”

“Hey you. Yes, yes, yes you. Today is your day. You’ve got this. You’re absolutely crushing it at everything you do.” He leaned back when the familiar sound of her heart sounded at eight seconds, then another at seven. “You’re more than capable of taking on the world, the whole world, by storm.”

It was faint, but he swore he saw her eyelid twitch. “Speaking of the world, did you know that it’s a better place with you in it?” He brushed the backs of his fingers against her cheek. “You’re strong, you’re confident. You’re intelligent, you’re charismatic. On a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven.” He held his breath, desperately trying to find a change as he continued to recite words from a video she’d set as her usual alarm clock. The heart rate monitor next to the bed gave one beep, then two, the long, flat line on the screen making more regular jumps.

It would figure your blasted favorite actor would cause a reaction, he thought, pressing his forehead to hers. “You make me want to be a better man. Astrid, please. Open your eyes.”

One heartbeat, then two, then more until Astrid’s heart gained a cadence that was oh so familiar to him. Her breathing patterns reminded him of lazy Sunday mornings, of her asleep in his arms and half-mumbling about five more minutes. You’ve had longer than five minutes, he thought, hand tilting her face up. He didn’t have long, even if people woke to cause a diversion, until Agency doctors burst in with protests about how unsafe it was to be in such close proximity to a newly made vampire, no matter how well-fed they ensured her to be.

Astrid would never intentionally harm him, he knew that fact down to his bones. His faith in her was the reason he held no fear as he kissed her, hoping that the wishes he held back for her safe return to him would take root.

There was a twitch, the barest feeling of being kissed back that had Adam slowly sitting up straight so he could better look at her face. Ever so slowly, Astrid’s eyelashes fluttered until she blinked up at him.

“Hi.”

Adam let out a relieved laugh, heart soaring at the sound of her voice, cracked and groggy from sleep as it was. “Hello.”

She took a deep breath and blinked again, looking as if she were taking a mental inventory of her surroundings and wincing at every sound. “It worked?”

He nodded. “It did.” Reaching over, he turned off the monitor so it wouldn’t continue to irritate Astrid’s sharper hearing. “How do you feel?”

She peeled off the sticky sensor from her chest and made a move to sit up, Adam standing and offering his hands to assist. “I feel…” she looked around, her hands squeezing his. “Different, but sort of the same? I can’t describe it. I’m me, but…”

“Take your time.”

She grinned as she swung her legs over the side of the bed, eyes instantly locking onto her leg and shoulders sagging in relief at the sight of a familiar scar. “Sort of have all the time in the world now, don’t we?”

Adam pulled her to her feet and held her close, fingers sinking into her hair. “That we do.”

“So, how long was I out? Did we miss that special on the History Channel we were going to watch while sipping on blood bags and eating a cheese board?”

He held her closer, the side of his face buried against hers. “Astrid, you’ve been asleep for a week. We most certainly missed the show, but I recorded it for you to watch when you’re ready.”

She jerked up, the top of her head banging against his chin. “What?” her voice was louder than normal and she winced at the sound. “A whole week?”

“Trust me, it was troubling for us all too.”

Her eyes widened. “Cashew! Who’s been taking care of my cat?”

Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, Adam settled for raising an eyebrow instead. “Our cat. Don’t worry, I made sure he didn’t starve.”

She froze, head cocking to the side. “There’s someone coming down the hall.” Her nose crinkled a bit. “This is so weird, how the hell do I know that’s Tony by smell alone?” She sniffed again. “And why does he smell like the cotton candy from that boardwalk we always go to on his birthday?”

“You’ll get used to it. I don’t think you’ll have a lack of vampires ready to help you answer any questions you may have.”

Astrid’s arms tightened around his waist and he felt the barest of trembles. Knowing her as he did, he knew she was trying to put on a strong front as she attempted to center herself in her new reality, acute senses and all. “I do have one question,” she stated, head against his shoulder.

“What is it?”

“Would it be possible to get a few minutes to myself? Markus is coming down the hall with like five other people and…” She looked up at him, the barest hint of fangs peeking out from behind her lips. It was maddeningly endearing. “I love them all, but it’s a little much?”

He nodded, kissing the crown of her head as he did so. “I’ll see what I can do.”

He had his hand on the doorknob when she called back to him. “Once you stall them, will you come back? I don’t really want to be alone-alone, and you…”

He understood the look she gave him, the unspoken sentiment that hovered between them. There would be time later to express it - and how light he felt, knowing they had today and tomorrow and a million other tomorrows after together! - but he knew what she meant. The noise and the presence of others may be a bit much, but just being around her was a balm to his senses, the sound of her voice soothing, the feel of her hand in his right, clicking into place as if he had been made to be at her side.

She was his home, and it still astounded him (and most likely would forever astound him) that she regarded him as hers.

Adam nodded, his mouth curving into a smile that matched the one Astrid gave him. “Always.”