#is constantly helped by women
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no because i suddenly need to rewatch suzume
#keyboard click clack noises#btw everyone should watch it :]#main girl experiences otherworldly horrors & takes the world on her shoulders. she has a complex relationship w her aunt &#is constantly helped by women#speaking of which the gender guy gets turned into a chair bc he was originally meant to be a pretty lady & companion to the main girl#but higher ups shot it down bc they dont want gay people#gender guy has the funniest fucking friend ever who also exudes gender but in a very specific way. did i mention hes cringefail (lovingly)#also an autistic cat is silly (part of the otherworldly horrors)#ALSO a lovely commentary on the memories & life that still lingers in otherwise forgotten places#PLEASEEEE WATCH SUZUME IDC IF YOU HATE SHINKAI FILMS THIS ONE IS SO GOOD
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Boy I can't wait for another four years of being blamed for white women voting for Trump when like. It's cishet white Christian women. It is a specific demographic. We know this.
But yeah, let's shame your local white lesbians for not... somehow converting their homophobic transphobic moms. This will save democracy. I'm already exhausted.
#just genuinely crazy how many people are like 'DID YOU TALK TO THE WHITE WOMEN IN YOUR FAMILY???'#why do you think that would help#do you not think any of us tried in 2016 or 2020?#did that fucking help???#the solution isn't converting these weird fucks in our family#it's getting more goddamn people to vote#and it's so fucking crazy that no one is focusing on that#I know other demographics are also being blamed#but after four years of seeing this once… seeing it crop up again…#people will genuinely blame progressive people for being in a primarily republican demographic#and not somehow talking all of their shitty relatives into voting blue#what family do you live in where that seems possible#leftists believe in original sin but identity-based#if you’re not constantly and loudly repenting you are responsible#apparently
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So can we get an all women’s season of physical 100 XD I’m pretty sick of the constant “well they’re not physically strong so our team is going to suck” it’s pretty fucking annoying when it happens to literally every single woman contestant :/
#physical 100#Netflix physical 100#physical 100 season 2#p100s2#Netflix physical 100 season 2#I want an all women’s season so bad bc at this point it seems impossible for a woman to win#but also I’m tired of constantly listening to all the men belittle them#I was talking to a friend and she mentioned literally even just actually having half of the contests be women would be pretty fair#bc rn it’s literally like 8-100#that or literally have a men’s/women’s season#ACTUALLY BE FAIR#I also hate how little they focus on the women#even when they’re doing the challenges!!!#there’s literally 4 people and the woman doesn’t even get to say anything on andre’s intra team roller match#I SAY THIS BECAUSE I LOVE THIS SHOW FR#I SEE SO MUCH POTENTIAL#I just can’t help and notice what seems to be an obvious issue 😭😭😭
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(Based off of the reality of having a metal ring in your back as a constant reminder of your fate and how that affects you as a person set in the Switzerland arc)
“Does it hurt?”
Ava’s pressed face down into the pillow sleep curling around her limbs. She hums, she can’t remember what she says, she’s exhausted. Her arms are tangled beneath her pillow. She holds her fingers tightly between each other, her bones ache from the pressure but her hands no longer shake. Ava hasn’t experienced this before, a fear that haunts her at night. (She finds she cannot stop dreaming about dying. It’s stifling in the cover of night trying to figure out where she is.)
She slowly opens her eyes and squints in the darkness. Beatrice is facing her a furrow in her brow that Ava knows she’s doing unconsciously. Ava’s lip quirks a smidgen, Beatrice looks funny. It’s a bit silly to her, Beatrice no doubt working out a solution to an unknown problem that Ava has yet to see in the middle of the night. In her sleepy state she wants to laugh at the imaginary cogs churning in Beatrice’s head.
Beatrice scooches closer and Ava panics, her skin can taste the dust of Bea’s forearm. She hoists herself up on her elbows, turning to face Beatrice. “Wha?” Ava’s shaking off bits of sleep from her mouth when Beatrice repeats herself.
“Does the Halo hurt?”
She doesn’t know if she wants to answer that. Ava peers over Beatrice squinting at the harsh light of the digital clock on Beatrice’s side. Ava loves it, it reminds her of the early 2000’s and the aesthetic of waking up to an alarm to go somewhere. The clock blinks an innocent 1:43 Am, and Ava debates on letting her head thump back down.
She turns her body on her side, she can feel the halo shifting in her back and it makes her want to throw up. The sides of the halo press against her shoulder blades and Ava resists the urge to yank it out. She grits her teeth and settles ignoring the skin of her back pulling tight to accommodate for the ring. Beatrice is still expecting an answer and Ava can’t lie to her, she pulls the covers of the sheet up to her chest hoping to bide more time for an answer.
"Everything hurts Bea," Ava smiles, "getting my ass handed to me is hard work."
Beatrice frowns displeased but looks at her through her lashes, it's unguarded, the stress and worries of the world stay out of their room in the dead of night. Her lashes are so pretty and Ava wants to curse the soft glow of the moon. There’s just enough moonlight to illuminate her eyes but overshadow her freckles. Ava swallows down the taste of defeat, she can’t win, she thinks.
Her gaze is soft, Beatrice is looking at her and it’s different yet the same. The same feeling in her chest constricting her lungs, the same soft gaze of Beatrice. Beatrice who likes what she sees in Ava when Ava can barely see where she begins. She doesn’t like to dwell on it, the truth of the matter being what belongs to Ava.
If she closes her eyes she can pretend just a little longer. She can give herself the hope of the future and what comes after all this. She can put down the fighting and the artifact and live. Ava doesn't want to think about it anymore, at least not tonight when Beatrice is here with her.
Beatrice is soft. She knows it from hours and hours of training. She's felt it when Beatrice corrects her form, in the way she talks. She speaks from a place of care like she has turned the harsh words in her brain over and over to soften the syllables spoken to Ava. And Ava doesn't linger on it, the meaning behind it, (Ava didn't think she'd make it this far, finding a person who cares quite like Bea does.)
And Ava's got it bad, she knows she's fucked because Beatrice doesn’t say anything about her language and Ava can't not tell her the truth. She looks down, her hand fiddling with the bed sheet underneath them.
"It doesn't hurt," if she thinks about it she can feel the fibers of the cotton between the pads of her fingers. "But it's very uncomfortable." She doesn't want to find the response in Beatrice's eyes, content to hear it from her voice. The soft British lilting accent that holds her just as soft as a touch.
She waits, she can picture Bea’s mannerisms with her eyes closed but maybe she should check just to be sure. Ava peers up at Beatrice and she’s suddenly closer. Her eyes really are pretty, there’s a depth to them that Ava wants to spend an ungodly amount of time studying.
“Can I help?”
#tko_writes#AND THEN THEY BANGGGG NASTY UGLY HARDDDDD#tenatively titled:#Do you think i'm kind?#in which i dump soup all over this google doc#soup being trauma#yeah this is ooc what about it#i need to go to bed right now#can u believe it i wrote something relatively normal#bleghhh#it wasn't as bad as I thought it would go#canon writing is boring to me personally but this wasn't too bad#it's just like blah blah imagine having a metal ring in ur back and how sleeping on ur side affects your body#just like body horror#and like the constant reminder of it because how do u escape something that's so uncomfortable sitting between ur shoulder blades but#helps you move and do all the things u dreamed of???#anyway got bonked with this idea talking with ard#everyone thank ard for this if u liked it#i was supposed to write more but i've gotta go to bed#Ava's thoughts are all over the place but i'm gonna say that's cuz she's sleepy#something somethign it's just all the trauma she's gone through because she's had the halo is present and she's constantly reminded of it#because it jostles inside of her and no one was really fit to house a halo#something something GET RID OF THE HALO BEARERS LET THOSE WOMEN LIVE THEIR LIVES#RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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one of the main problems with most men as it relates to their interactions with women is that they don't understand or care about the difference between feeling useful and being useful because they are not accustomed to questioning their own subjective experience as individual instead of universal, nor are they willing to accept the testimony of women as it relates to the woman's experience or best interests. most men will ask me if I need anything and then hem and haw and dither when i say yes, and then fuck it up if he tries to perform the task i request. or, another option, simply do something he has decided is helpful, declare that he has helped, and retire satisfied that he has done his duty. the third option is needing detailed instructions for every step of the thing i need help with, creating two tasks out of the one task i had before he offered to "help". if you describe how this entire situation is a problem, this creates a third task when the man's feelings are hurt because his unhelpful "help" wasn't lavishly rewarded. i don't know how to even start addressing the complexity of this issue in the context of genderpolitik but it informs huge swathes of women's daily household and workplace experiences, and men are largely unaware of it.
no fucking TERFs on this post. my posts aren't for TERFs
#this is why women are constantly refusing offers of “help” from men and then getting annoyed at having to do everything ourselves#because we have to do everything ourselves anyway#just with extra steps#when the man is involved#this is not universal across every situation but it is very very common#most recently the man i inderact with the most DID help so this is not in reference to a recent irl experience#im speaking generally
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In general I have not been engaging with this show in a fandom way but I gotta say Molly Cobb is absolutely my blorbo. My skrunkly problematic fave. Rotating her in my mind etc. one of my favourite ‘asshole’ characters of all time. I’m so glad they didn’t have her die of space cancer or in a fiery test vehicle crash and instead she got to round out a good decade of flying very large vehicles very fast by stalking around NASA with her fuckin. Seeing eye wolfhound and spending time in her brass tub with her weird husband (who I also love.) good for her.
#for all mankind#for all mankind spoilers#In all seriousness I genuinely kinda love all the women on this show#I’m on season 3 so idk what they do later but like. Margot Madison? God Forbid Women Do Anything etc. Aleida? My hero for real.#Tracy Stevens? Elevates her foils Gordo and Karen so well I cant even hate them much (although also season 1 Karen is so interesting to me)#DANIELLE POOLE? I think she’s great and also extremely interesting and the way her personality as a determined and optimistic and helpful#person reacts with being constantly devalued on so many levels is like. Quite believable. Genuinely I think she’s one of the best written#characters on the show.#Anyway.#my stuff#Also I KNOW Molly Cobb’s ending(?) is more complicated than that I actually thought it was also pretty interesting and well done ish but#This is NOT a serious post (except apparently in the tags for a sec) this is a post about my favourite abrasive daredevil and her cool dog#And her husband the painter who gives weed to housewives sometimes
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how come I love leading class and reading groups and small groups and lectures and conference papers and book clubs
and I HATE leading Women's Bible Study
#the actual leading is i guess fine although i STRUGGLE to actually lead#because they're all older than me and kind of friends and confident#and entirely unused to being steered and led so they just take off chatting and comforting each other#and mostly want to talk about their lives way more than about the topic#also our discussion guide is quite meh#but even worse I think is the texting all week long#i don't want to be constantly getting texts! noise! distraction! everyone checking in about everything!#and i recognize that it's a beautiful support in many ways and stay at home moms are lonely#but also. i can't do ANYTHING without that text thread popping up#feels like there's absolutely no boundaries#and they all have problems they always want to talk about#and this year not only do i have most of my previous women with problems i also have one with some really major issues#that i haven't dealt with personally and i need a lot of wisdom and care in leading her well#i need to change my tires! i need to be able to read on my phone and not be constantly reminded of the people i'm helping!#the only way i've remained stable this long in life is by keeping problems in separate spaces!#sigh. and with that i will go do yoga and get immersed in a conference paper#and not think about problems#(can you tell the time of women approaches me)
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I’m gonna be super real as a gay trans man, the idea that people (especially those like me) MUST center women at all times, in their lives and identity and attraction and oppression, is not feminist and dare I say it’s not even progressive.
#when did pop feminism turn from ‘we literally just want women to be equal to men’#into the cartoonish man-hating woman supremacy people used to strawman feminism as being#there was a time when we all knew that was ridiculous and not a feasible goal and not helpful to anyone#so let’s put that down maybe yeah?#this post was inspired by the fact I feel paranoid about my own private enjoyment of media#because I happen to be gay and a man and therefore shockingly tend to prefer men in media#and I worry constantly that I’m secretly a misogynist for that#because the idea that if you aren’t thinking about women every second of the day then you’re a misogynist#has seeped into my brain#and I hate that#I hate that I can’t enjoy my identity and my main object of attraction in private#without feeling scared
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Remembering how Futa said in one timeline that there’s no way a woman could beat a man in a fight and got his ass beat. Can you do a crackfic of the girls beating him up for that?
Ahahaha thank you for the request!! This was really fun to write omg -- and well deserved, there was no need for all that in the timeline convo 😤 He was too busy thinking of leverages and forms he failed to consider the fury of a woman scorned..... may he rest in peace......
Fuuta didn’t even know what he did to earn himself an ass-beating.
“Oh, you know what you did,” Yuno said. She closed the cell door behind her.
Whatever it was, it had managed to anger every woman on the premises. He thought it took a lot to get girls riled up this much – something like cheating on them or calling them names, you know? But without a single action on his part, he found himself facing Yuno, Muu, and Amane. All three had a fire in their eyes that Fuuta was not liking the look of.
Mahiru had pointed him to his cell, saying Es was looking for him there. She spoke strangely as she did it, and waited awkwardly outside as he went in, but everyone around here was a little odd. How was he supposed to distinguish when people were being murderer-in-a-supernatural-prison weird from setting-a-trap-to-corner-him-in-his-cell weird?
He waved his palms in front of him. “Listen, listen! Let’s just talk, okay? Let’s slow down.”
Muu cracked her knuckles.
Amane began rolling up her sleeves in perfect creases. “You have doubted our abilities. We will make you a believer.”
Fuuta took a few steps back. His voice came out loud and frantic. “What are you talking about? If you’re looking to pick a fight, you better think twice, because I’m not gonna hit a girl or anything.”
“Oh, good!” Yuno’s voice was as bubbly as always as the three closed in. “That will make our job a lot easier.”
He felt his back hit the wall. “I mean it, let’s just talk about this for a sec! Hey!”
Mikoto’s voice came from outside the cell.
“Mappi? What’s going on in there?”
“Yes!” Fuuta called, “Mikoto! Help! They’re gonna kill me in here!”
“Oh, no need to worry~ The girls are just teaching him a little lesson about not saying awful things.”
“Isn’t this going a bit too far…? What did he even say?”
“Nothing! Come on, get me the fuck outta here!”
“I believe his exact words were, ‘there’s no way a girl could win in a fight against a man.’”
Fuuta paled. He did say that, didn't he...
“Oh crap. Yeah, that’d do it. Carry on.”
“Wha–? Mikoto!”
He gaped at the three in front of him.
He remembered a hero in a video game who had faced off against an unbeatable foe; a glorious knight who came to understand that he could never conquer the world-razing dragon before him. After giving his all, and seeing his fate was sealed, the hero had no choice. In a manly show of valor, he’d lifted his chin, closed his eyes, and accepted his impending, gory death.
Yuno's gaze was cold as she raised her arms. Muu had a hungry look in her eyes. Amane clenched her fists, her posture perfect.
It wasn’t a dragon, but Fuuta would argue this was a good deal more dangerous. He lifted his chin and squeezed his eyes shut.
“Get ‘em, girls!”
—
Kotoko approached just as the other girls filed out of Fuuta’s cell. They had giddy looks on their faces. They giggled and whispered in a huddle as they walked around the panopticon.
“Wow, Muu!”
“Haha, I didn’t know you had it in you!”
“That felt amazing…”
Kotoko didn’t know what kind of game they were all playing in there, but Fuuta was in for a big surprise now. The fun was over. Today was the day she acted out her responsibilities as Es’ fang. Today was the day she delivered justice.
She swung the cell door open. Her eyebrows shot up.
Her head whipped around to take a look at the girls, still complementing one another and laughing lightly.
Hell, her work here was already done.
#milgram#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#muu kusunoki#mahiru shiina#amane momose#mikoto kayano#kotoko yuzuriha#and then he dieded 😔 -- sad!#fuuta stumbles out of shidous cell a few hours later wearing the 'im sorry women' hat#as much as i tried i couldnt picture mappi throwing any punches but shed love to help!!#the girls go to john afterwards to say 'hey youre right beating the shit out of someone really does feel like it solved all my problems'#i originally had kotoko as part of the main group but she actually agrees with him in the timeline convo#so i dont think shed be as angry in the moment - though she supports the others 100%#LMAO thank you this was so funny ��😂😂#i was so so silly finishing up work and stuff and constantly plotting ways to beat up my fave#drabbles
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i just wanna say tysm for all the sweet comments, reblogs, likes and new followers. literally have been dealing with some bs from school where i have to file a bias report and contest my grade because my professor is a bitch (tea in the tags). But you all really cheered me up and kept me going over the past few days!!! 🩵🩵
im off from work today for summer fridays! so hope i can write more today.
#•𐦍 𝓀𝒾𝓏𝓏𝒶𝓉тαℓк#for context this lady gave me a 0 out of 300 for participation#for a trip and project i objectively did 80% of the work on#my team helped with what they could but no one knew the work would be so specialized before they joined so i cant really blame them#the old cow is just mad we gave her a bad review on the survey cause she kept being judgmental & prejudice & racist on the trip#imagine constantly comparing india to israel and complaining that you cant take students there like GENOCIDE isnt happening rn#imagine being a yt woman going to a rural indian village and as a “joke” telling the translator to translate “i wanna take your baby home”#imagine also going up to your mexican student and consistently mentioning your mexican housekeeper#imagine telling students when theres hotel reviews of hidden cameras and theft and staff assault against women we needed to “be resilient”#imagine a guy having to say hes never made over $50k bc she called us all spoiled and privileged for not wanting to stay in a slum hotel#this lady is crazy#but i got receipts
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Head in hands. 'I Spy' with Pulp is such a banger for Zor. It's giving me the urge to finally think about designing them (+ redesigning a couple others..). There's something so good abt some of the lyrics like: "you see I spy for a living // and i specialise in revenge // on taking the things that i know will cause you pain". Like....likee.............
Theres earlier parts that also make my brain tick: "it may look like to the untrained eye // im sitting on my arse all day // I'm biding my time until i take you all on // my lords and ladies, i will not fail // i will prevail, cause i spy"
PLUS the name. That did not help the situation. Alas Different Class by Pulp 🤝 IEYTD Characters. Similar can be said about the Chicago soundtrack but thats a. Whole other ramble
#and that whole other ramble is gonna take place in the tags rn#i have mentioned it a few times tbh but yk. yk i have given it more time.#for starters: roxie's suite is SO PHOENIX dear lord#it's this really upbeat jazz track which sounds SO IN PLACE with the rest of ieytd#furthermore: roxie is a very juniper aong ESPECIALLY early in his acting career brah#and later on is razzle dazzle thats. so juniper i will die on my hill it's SO juniper#when youre good to mama is very fabby to me it just oozes with this confidence and i just. with her higher up postion in zoraxis i like it#i can't do this alone is very fabby trying to convince solaris to work with her. i really like it in a sense she's trying to prove herself -#- to solaris ESPECIALLY because in the musical it's like a disingenuous want to work with the other which i also thinks fits#and then theres mister cellophane which HELLO REGINALD CRANE.#i can't quite place it but i think about it constantly. doesn't help that i love that song SO BAD#i tell ya cellophane mister cello phane should i bend my name mister cellophane#AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHBH GRGRGRRGRGRBBRGRGRGR#im normal i swear#cell block tango. i would love to do that with all the women/fem alligned people in ieytd because not ONE OF THEM have EVER caught a break#that's. all of them. bows.#i LOVE chicago SOOOOOO much its such a good musical#i have taken most of these songs out of context and i would love to do an in context au for them all#but trying to figure out who would be who is a problem tbh#I've mentioned it before qnd it's still something i mull over#sigh#anyways. pleade ask me abt ieytd and music i can yalk a lot as you can see#i think i will put#ieytd#because uhh rambles....auhh
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if you think about it... my unnurturing personality is actually quite feminist quite pro black..... being unenthusiastic or unwilling to help unless i love you is just me breaking the stereotype that black women exist to be societys mule
#i really have no instincts to help#it drives the women in my family crazy that im not constantly thinking of ways to help ppl#why? why spend all my energy worrying abt grown adults that can communicate what they need 😭
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transmascs stop pretending that transfems are untrustworthy sources for transfeminism challenge impos- fuck i didn't even finish and you already complained about our terminology
#i really hate the expectation to know theory in these shit communities#they're barely communities it feels like on here trans people are unified by strict categorization#constantly infinitely expanding definitions but treating them as immutable and emergent from the core of reality#rather that words used to describe things we experience or the positions we are placed in my transphobic society#we're unified by who is mean to us more than wether or not we actually like each other#and so we must always be ready to litigate our position in these spaces#because they must be Definitionally justified rather than just having a real community where we're treated like human beings#i wish we still had our elders... i wish we weren't so adverse to learning humanly#i wish i could escape the weird black and white fandom thinking but it worms it's way into every community here now#this is why i keep lamenting old t4t spaces#we weren't there to argue theory#we weren't opposed to learning it in fact it was useful and joyful to share with each other#to help describe our experiences and understand where we've been placed in the world#but that's not why we were there#we were there for community to be kind to each other#now it's nothing but a bunch of teenage fandom tme people arguing with fake versions of trans women they invented in their heads#while we just hide in the background wondering if the word community means something different now#or if we're really just so evil to our very cores that we were foolish to think we could have community in the first place#sorry just#needed to vent this shit has been in my head for a while#i wasn't in a place to go to gay bars or trans events when i was first here#i couldn't have local community so finding one here with transfems who loved each other#it was so important to me#and learning that i could cater to that small but kind audience in my sex work is what made me finally love doing it#before then i'd been doing it purely cuz i couldn't get any other job#and before that because i was forced to#there's a lot of trauma wrapped up in my work for me but i healed from it largely because of my sisters i found on here#but i don't know when it went away but it did#and now it feels like we're left in a massive crowd of screaming voices#and i don't recognize any of them anymore
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can i be so real right now.............
#steven universe gays needn't reply#final warning#anyway#im currently dealing with a friend who is in an abusive relationship#and she just does not fucking get it#its not like micro aggressions either#she told me he raped her... like?? and ran someone over????#and ive told her she can come to my place and be safe#like... both me and my roommate are staunch feminists#we will go out of our way to support women#but she makes it so fucking hard#listen ive been in abusive situations before so im not just talking out of my ass here#but one was enough.... i understand that these situations are complicated#its not lost on me dude trust#and it would be different if she didn't know she was being abused#but she is FULLY AWARE because she comes to me and cries about it......so why go back to him?#it's a test of my already waning empathy/sympathy#its very hard for me to find space in my cluttered mind for someone who actively chooses to cling to an abuser#all for fear of being alone? whack#and its not like shes super young like shes 2 years younger than me..... get it together girl#im just so exhausted from constantly reassuring her and giving advice that falls on deaf ass ears#i lowkey ripped into her via text earlier and i know its not going to break through to her but hey it was worth a shot#i almost feel bad for being so annoyed with her but its 2024 and we have infinite information and resources at our fingertips#im happy to help her but she has fucked me over so many times already#shes the same girl who a few months ago was pretending to be into me#despite telling me she's straight and that “vaginas are gross”#meanwhile she facetimed some chick last night when she was at my place on some “we should hang out” shit#insane#needless to say i wont be hosting her bullshit anymore
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Mizu is my non-binary gf now
#personal#help#they are so hot#also it's not lost on me that they apparently make a really ugly woman (in their world) and a simultaneously really hot man#like mizu is constantly being told by dudes that they've got a butterface#but the women are like hello there handsome#blue eye samurai#mizu
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my step aunt down south is a lesbian and was in multiple relationships where she would get cheated on and then physically assaulted for bringing it up and ppl either didn’t care bc of them both being women or bc of diminishing the fact that women can hurt people bc women are people let’s be a bit smarter here
#like regardless of sexuality women can be abusive#bc anyone can be abusive#my mother constantly beat her last bf and then would pull the im a woman card u cant defend urself shit#like obv it doesn’t happen to the same extent of men doing it but who r u helping by pretending it never happens
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