#is because 1. I know autistic people do not prefer person-first language

[windsroad]

I have a question. How do autistic people feel about being called “an autist”? It feels ummm slur-y to me but I’m not an authority on this, so I don’t know, my opinion doesn’t matter here. I probably wouldn’t say it myself either way but I’m wondering if it’s like a red flag that someone’s an asshole if they say it.

And I’m asking this as a person who isn’t crazy about person-first language, it always smacks of someone who is just afraid of adjectives / doesn’t understand English word order. But the jump from “advective person” to “NOUN” feels bad.

[thmollusk]

me and my autism vs. the aba therapy supporting autism and disability awareness hr person at my work who will win

[raggstorice]

FLASH HEADCANONS!

Where I take a fandom and give a Headcanon for Every. Single. Character.

Twisted Wonderland! #1

Here we go!

Riddle: whenever a bug lands on him he freezes. Just stops.

Ace: His parents always shut down his beliefs. Very much a 'Stay in line and You'll be fine' type of family. (If requested I will rant on my HC Ace backstory)

Deuce: He calls his mother every day and one day she just starts crying and is all like 'Im so proud of you. You've changed so much and I love you.' and Deuce started crying too.

Cater: Does not actually care that much about Magicam. He just needed something to base his personality off of.

Trey: Uses southern insults All. The. Time. People talk to him and he's just 'Well good for you!' and people think he's the nicest.

Leona: If you put a weighted blanket on him he will just fall over like that one scene in Lilo and stitch.

Ruggie: Knows everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Try to introduce him to someone new and he'll just be like 'OMG my old friend!' yeah.

Jack: Named his cactus Paula. Also Talks to it and uses it like a doll. (Like that one scene in DRDT)

Azul: His first experience with a land dweller was when he saw a coin fall from the surface and he followed it. There was a language barrier so he couldn't talk to them. He wonders how they're doing some days.

Jade: Had a bonding moment with Jack over their love for plants (mushrooms and cacti) also eats mushroom-spinach pizza (like me!)

Floyd: He bites. Also he's banned from playing against other schools in Basketball because of the sheer amount of fouls he gets. Jamil is so done.

Kalim: Will summon a rainbow to cheer someone up. He's precious.

Jamil: Doesn't actually hate Kalim. He just needs to be mad at someone. Oh also he cooks for the Basketball club and brings food to practice. Ace is his biggest fan.

Vil: Godly eye makeup. He's the one who gave Rook his feather in his hat.

Epel: Bad Ass Mother Fucker. He prefers to fight with his tounge rather than his fists. The only one to realize Trey's passive aggressiveness.

Rook: Will bring back fresh meat from his hunts. Him and Jade bring the best ingredients to the Cafeteria and no one knows.

Idia: one time he hid from people in an empty classroom for several hours after school. Ortho almost sent a search party.

Ortho: Spends hours analyzing his friends. Like as a hobby. He brings them perfectly planned gifts and they all love it.

Malleus: Lilia cuts his hair. He also polishes his horns. He secretly really enjoys Sebek's loyalty just wished he was quieter.

Silver: Takes care of the horses so well. They love him and will only accept food from him.

Sebek: He can be surprisingly quiet if you ask nicely. He gets loud again if he gets worked up. Autistic.

Lilia: He loves his sons. He ends up taking care of the whole Campus. No one in NRC can take care of themselves properly so he does it. Mockingbird by Eminem coded

Crowley: He shows up randomly and helps students. Lilia is taking a student to the infirmary? He's there and takes them for him. Leona is asleep in the botanical garden? Crowley kicks him away from the path. The teachers are so done with the chaos and are ready to combust? He's there. He will make the chaos worse and somehow contain it at the same time.

Crewel: He stays stocked up on potions ready to help any students that are ill, tired, or in any sort of pain. He will let you sleep in his classroom and will pull you into his office if he thinks somethings up. Many students have cried in front of him.

Trein: Will go out of his way to include history not taught in textbooks. Stuff about gay rights, racism, trans right, war crimes, fun facts about political leaders, etc. He does it all in the most monotone voice ever.

Lucius: The best cat. Used to be a stray wandering campus. Will bring gifts to students it likes. Recognized Leona as one of its own.

Vargas: Always down to help students. Oh you have Asthma? Good thing I have SEVENTEEN EXTRA INHALERS. You seem to be struggling a little why don't you sit down? Exercise without rest is as good as no exercise at all.

Sam: Will give freebies to students who need it. Oh you skipped lunch to study for a test? Good thing I have a sandwich just for you! Your pen broke? Which one do you want? Also will tell you all the tea.

Grim: Whenever he eats those blot crystals he suddenly knows all of the victims trauma which he reports to Yuu.

Yuu: Has serious conversations with Overblot victims. The best non licensed therapist.

Authors Note: It's 1:23 AM. I'm going to sleep.

[hello-nichya-here]

I have a question that might be offensive, and I'm sorry in advance for any hurt it may cause. I've been trying to search for an answer online for a while but I'm not able to find a proper one, and hoped you could help me.

From what I have gathered, autistic people do not wish for there to be a cure for autism, which I understand because well, it would change your brain and the way you view the world. Some even insist it cannot exist (which I'm not so sure about but whatever). My main question is, there are thousands of people out there who are affected by some kinds of ASD so severe that they can never lead a proper life, will never mentally develop beyond a child, and often have to live through agonizing pain and overstimulation. When it comes to these cases, would they not prefer a cure? So wouldn't it be more ethical for a cure to exist, but taking the cure not be compulsory? Those people are obviously not on social media, so their voices go unheard. But wouldn't they and their loved ones not want them to be in pain?

Thanks in advance.

First off, here's why a "cure" is indeed impossible: autism is a neurotype, not a disease. It's not the brain or any organ/system doing something it shouldn't or being damaged by some internal and/or external factor. An autistic brain functions DIFFERENTLY, not DEFECTIVELY, though obviously there is a variety of ways in which it manifests, and it is very rare for an autistic person to be ONLY autistic, there's often one, or more, conditions affecting them at the same time (anxiety, ADHD, schizophrenia, depression, OCD, etc). It is also likely a result of multiple cromossomes working in atypical ways (unlike with Down Syndrome, which is a result of cromossome 21 and ONLY 21 working differently) - and we still don't know which ones, or even how many said cromossomes are.

What does all of that mean for a cure? It means that:

1 - To make an autistic person non-autistic it'd need to be possible to discover it when they're still a fetus and somehow force their brain and entire nervous system to form differently - both things modern science can't do and that we're not sure will EVER be possible.

2 - It is very likely that even if a cure is possible, it will NOT be a one-size-fits-all kind of deal, and it will work on some cases and be useless in others.

So it is already a far, far, FAR more complicated deal than just "If we put enough money, time and effort into it, we can find a cure." Part of the reason why many autistic people are sick of nearly every fucking charity about autism being focused on a cure is because, instead of that money going directly to us or to our caretakers (be it family or any form of hospice/home) and having a very real positive effective, that money goes into searching for a something that might genuinely not be biologically possible.

This is sadly the common history for nearly every group under the large umbrella of Disabled People. Sign Language was discouraged and even made ILLEGAL in some countries long before there were was a reliable, safe way to allow deaf people to hear. There are THOUSANDS of horror stories about people with any form of paralysis or mobility issues being just let root and die in their beds, even after all kinds of mobility aids were invented because "it's a burden to the caretakers" and a "miserable life to live anyway." A disabled athlete in Canada has recently complained about lack of accessibility and was offered EUTHANASIA as a solution because God forbid someone has to build a ramp.

The sad reality is that many non-disabled people are only interested in helping us if the help is guaranteed to make us 100% "normal." If it will gives us a decent, and sometimes fully/mostly independent life, but not make us able-bodied/neurotypical it is NEVER considerd "good enough", and is often talked about as a "set-back for the cure." Giving us ways to communicate our needs, find emotional support, employment, or at the very least multiple sources of aid that will allow our families to not be on "caretaker mode" 24/7 and to not fear what might happen to us once they pass away is considered A SET BACK. Because we're not "cured", but are also not dead.

They're focused on trying to "solve the mystery that will totally lead us to the cure IN THE FUTURE", but never on hearing our VERY basic requests for stuff that would greately improve our lives NOW - Autism Speaks, the largest autism "charity" (hate-group that literally uses "therapy" created by nazis to "help" us) literally popularized the myths that we don't know ANYTHING about autism, how it happens or how to help people with it, and making the "official autism symbol" be a fucking puzzle piece.

The "finding a cure is more important than anything" narrative talks over the needs of EVERY autistic person in existence, including the ones that cannot express their opinion or understand their own condition enough to HAVE an opinon, and yes, including the ones that actively WANT to be "cured."

And speaking of people who do genuinely want to be "cured" of their autism: it is extremely naive of you to think there's any change a cure wouldn't be made mandatory if it existed, and that the choice would be left to the individual, or even to a parent/caretaker on the more "extreme" cases.

Like I said before, things like Sign Language were made ILLEGAL in many countries for the crime of helping disabled have a better life without curing them. We still have cases of doctors operating deaf babies/toddlers without the parents consent. Wheelchair users constantly complain that people just randomly decide to "help" them by pushing their chair towards where they assume the person wants to go, without saying a word to them, without letting them change direction and sometimes even being careless enough to fuck up the chair.

Disabled people CONSTANTLY get called stupid or selfish for not opting for long, expensive treatments that will often only TEMPORARELY make them abled-bodied because being "normal/not a burden" should be more important than anything, including the completely unnecessary and often brutal emotional turmoil of getting used to a "normal" life just go then have to get used to being disabled again. And yes, autistic peoplel, from the completely indepent ones to the ones that need constant care, who have said they would NEVER take a cure for it if one existed, ALREADY get condescending, and sometimes openly hateful, comments about it all day, every day, everywhere. For saying we don't want to take the IMAGINARY pill that can "fix" us.

Our lives are already considered lesser, our opinions are already disregarded, and our bodily autonomy is already denied constantly (see the more "harmless" things like people that think it's funny to force hugs and kisses on those of us who hate most physical contact, to doctors that have injured or KILLED us through unnecessary, often violent means of restraining us during meltdowns). If a cure existed, we'd be straight up forced, or at least constantly pressured, to take it. There's a reason WE are the only ones discussing how unethical it'd be to force us to be "cured", while most neurptypicals have not even heard of that objection, and half would get mad at us for being "ungrateful" - after all, they spent so much time, money and effort on this thing (that we've been rejecting from day one), we can't just refuse it like that!

I know you probably mean well, anon, but the sad reality is that nearly every talk of "curing" autism (and almost anything that is considered a disability) is often rooted on nothing but society's very open disgust and disdain towards our very existence, not a genuine desire to make sure we're safe and happy - and as you can imagine, we're mad that we constantly have to justify our right to be alive and actually listened to, not spoken over by people who are "trying to help" by telling us to shut up and be glad that they're trying to make us "normal."

[maybeimamuppet]

Do you have any autistic/ADHD headcanons for Cady? (Love your fics by the way :333)

OH BOY DO I

(thank you dear!)

usual disclaimer these are based on her musical self and are mostly from a list i made like three years ago anyway yeeha

-literally my first bullet point in her characterization list is just “autistic”

-she’s the kind of person who’s like “at 1:47 pm on Tuesday, May 7, 2022 you said this in these exact words” and also like “i have not eaten or peed in seven hours” at the same time (idk if may 7 2022 was a tuesday i just made smth up lol)

-she has the kälteen bars on her at all times bc she forgets meals so often but she also constantly reminds her friends to take their meds and stuff when they forget

-she’s not actually a savant in math, she just likes rules

-for much the same reason she’s also a polyglot

-she studies languages from books and the people she grew up exposed to and is at least bordering on fluent in seven languages

-she was mute until she was six

-because of this she knows asl

-she uses it whenever she has nonverbal times and teachers her friends basics and like how to fingerspell and stuff so they can use it too

-she can speak backwards because she got bored learning how to read and taught herself to do it both ways. she can flip any word or phrase around in her head

-she’s really good at impressions bc she copycats to learn most of how to socialize and stuff so she’s very quick to pick up intonations and vocal tone and stuff like that

-she’s very sensitive to noise and to touch

-she prefers broadway music (which damian loves) bc they use enough diction to override her auditory processing issues

-she doesn’t like to be touched softly because it’s too tickly and she also just hates being tickled

-but she loves to be snuggled by her loved ones and one of her love languages is touch

-she loves soft clothes (like janis and damian’s jackets) and will steal them if she gets the slightest opportunity

-she loves to stim with her hair which is why it’s so long. and also other people’s and especially janis’ because it’s different colors and very soft

-she also loves when other people play with her hair

-she hyperfixates HARD on the lion king, especially the musical, when janis and damian show it to her and blows all her money on merch and stuff lol

-she’s shockingly organized but her handwriting is terrible

-her friends get her chewy necklaces and stim toys for like every birthday and holiday so she has them all on a rotation to be fair

-she is blunt as all hell and honest to a fault

-she loves when janis paints and draws on her for that good good sensory input

-she goes barefoot whenever she can for also sensory input but she always wears socks inside

-she hates when people whisper and also when people fake crying

-she stims a lot by singing and humming and most of the time she doesn’t notice but (insert preferred partner here) doesn’t mention it bc they love it

-she adores disney movies and cartoons 

-she hates crowds of people

-she had daily meltdowns as a plastic bc the texture of the clothes was so overwhelming for her sensorily

-she drops shit all the goddamn time and is incredibly clumsy

-she hates eye contact

-she does not understand fashion rules at all but gretchen gives her a crash course and that helps

-she hates surprises for the most part and is v into her routine

-she will tell her africa stories to someone on the sidewalk if they’ll listen to her

-she loves being off the ground. carried around, table time, riding in shopping carts. favorites.

-she has really weird medical knowledge

-she actually prefers to write or sign than speak out loud but she speaks anyway bc it’s faster and everyone can understand that

-she doesn’t easily pick up on sarcasm or figures of speech unless it’s v obvious/intuitive but janis teaches her so she’s got it down within a year of their friendship

-she constantly forgets what things are named and invents new ones. and also is constantly stumbling over her words and inventing new curse words

-she hates english class the most bc there’s so many exceptions to all the rules

-idk if this is an adhd or autism thing lol but she talks in her sleep

-she also can and will sleep anywhere but sometimes she pretends she can’t so she gets cuddles

[terresdebrume]

Hello children, it's office drama time

Covering several aspects of a worsening work environment x)

Aspect the first: the creation of the staff/teacher room

So until last year, each teacher had their own room and students would move from one to the other for classes. This was much more comfortable for us, allowed us to actually decorate our rooms (as encouraged) and also gave the students a little bit more occasions to move around between classes rather than having to stay in there 2hrs at a time. At the end of last year, we were told that we would have to switch to the reverse system and use a teachers' room to prepare classes.

Now, because language classes mix students of the same year and the Chinese lessons use the homerooms (which are bigger) I have my own room and I'm therefore not subjected to the teachers' room, but I can still have Opinions over its installation, which went as follows:

Upon arrival 3 days before the planned start of the school year, all teachers are instructed to work in "their room" for the mornings & attend meetings in the afternoons. The vast majority of teachers, having neither a homeroom nor a subject room to take possession of, has no fucking idea what they're supposed to do

While I set up the French class + my homeroom, a few of the room-less teachers who were present last year take one of the two staff rooms and set it up to their preference

That same day, the guy in charge of logistics and maintenance barges in, rudely tells everyone off for setting things up, and informs them that actually admin will be the ones assigning seats in the staff rooms

Upon being told that things would have been smoother if the rooms were set-up, logistics guy proceeds to explain that he never wanted this system and didn't know it would happen (it's a lie: we got the room assignments a week before we came back to work)

Staff room is left as is for 3 business days, then logistics guy tries to gain sympathy for staying until 9pm on a holiday to set up the staff rooms. Again: he knew about this AT LEAST two weeks before the installation

The Saturday before classes start, seating assignments in the staff room are sent. All teachers are grouped by specialties except for Z (head of foreign languages), K (head of English) and M (English teacher who's been here for years & got a camera in their homeroom which apparently records image AND sound)

K & Z, both new to the school, both picked as heads of department over people who have 3-5 years of seniority (and in the case of Z, more competence than them imo) are seated together, away from teachers allegedly in their department

M is sat in the middle of the PE teachers, away from their head of department

The consensus between M, S (another friend) & I is that it's starting to feel like M is in the management's bad books

Aspect the second: the probable HQ plants

Z, foreign languages head

Z joined us for the last two weeks of last year, upon which they immediately (as in week 1)

Badmouthed the 2ndary Chinese teacher to L, the primary Chinese teacher who was trying their best to act as head of department at the request of the principal at the time, saying the other teacher's classes were a bit shit and she wasn't invested (granted it was an open secret in 2ndary but have some fucking decorum/professionalism ffs)

Spent the entirety of those 2 weeks trying to get L to go out with them for drinks despite a) having known them less than 2 days at the first occurrence b) L's repeated response that they didn't drink (I have since been told that Z has done that with several teachers & proceeded to ask pointed questions about work to the inebriated teachers)

On top of that, I personally am not very fond of Z because this afternoon they made a comment on the visible mending on my jeans, which would be fine except they touched the patch which is on my fucking thigh + my understanding is that they tried to make one of our autistic student take off the construction helmet they wear to deal with their sound sensitivity (there is a possibility I misunderstood that one though to be fair, I will need to follow up on that w students)

K, head of English

Joined this year, immediately buddy'd it up with the superintendent who is pretty distant usually. Was conspicuously seated next to other suspected plant Z in the staff room. Also: M, person overlooked in K's favor for head of department, ended up sitting in the other staff room from K's, and this morning K said in front of all the other teachers of that room that 'they could keep M' when all the other English teachers are in K's room

(in fairness: M put their foot in it MAJORLY on day one and is now trying to avoid K as much as possible so that uh. Does not help.)

I will also say that I straight up don't like K's Vibe on the basis that their "greetings" to me every day this week (after literally talking for 15 minutes tops) has been to say "you!" Pretending to shoot me, and then trying to laugh it off

I have explicitly told them I don't like it this morning (after trying to jokingly point out it was weird a couple times, only for them to tell me "it's going to become a habit") we'll see how that shakes out

ETA: Minor but very telling bullshit

One of our classes rn has 32 students

One of our early meetings delineated rules for avoid AC overuse and one of the proposed actions was to ask the scholarship students to take pictures of the AC units + fans every hour and send it to the student services

[sillyfella2019]

About me because

TW: swearing

(just in case)

(you never know who reads this)

I quite literally do not have anything else to do 😔

Idk, here have my info:

name(preferred): Dex (you can call me by my account name though)

pronouns: He/They

mbti: INTP

age: I’m a minor, that’s all you’re getting.

my personality is weird as hell (separate info from the next few things), I swear a lot and I know a lot of unnecessary information on a lot of different topics (some thanks to ZackDFilms (YT)) I repeat a lot of sounds or words people say, I answer rhetorical questions and sarcasm (some people really don’t have the sarcastic tone, it’s not MY fault), and I will make random sounds while we’re having a convo (ex: ‘wdym?’ - ‘meow? Idk??’, ‘Think about life for a sec.’-‘*Random noise*’ *cue stares*)

Music taste: I listen classical music then the next song in my playlist is IT BOY, then ICK, then some angsty song, then MCR, then Malice Mizer (Ma Cherie 🥰🎀) (it’s crazy) 😭🙏

my interests are…all over the place ngl lmao 😭😭 I will make a list here:

-Pretty sure I had a Sandersides phase before I even made my tumblr account

Danganronpa 1-3 (part of the reason I loved Fontaine sm)

BSD (this shit made me realize how mentally ill I am, it’s wild 💀) (made me realize my humor is dark as hell too lol)

MTP (gay detective)

JJK

Dead plate

ALNST (my pfp makes it clear)

Pokemon (I have knowledge on everything up to PKM journeys, only till there.)

genshin impact (I am in desperate need of yapping someone’s ear off about Fontaine, PLEASE)

MXTX novels (MDZS, SVSSS, and TGCF)

FNAF (Thanks MatPat)

Possibly a lot of indie games MatPat has covered and some analog horror too

etc. (I’m probably forgetting something)

Yes I do keep all the knowledge I’ve learned for every fandom I’ve been in, how? I don’t fucking know, my brain has probably a trillion gigabytes to keep so many things 💀💀

I like drawing a lot, mostly traditional cause I can’t bring my computer everywhere, I read a lot too, reading Crime and Punishment because you can’t sleep is 10/10, it’s like free gossip for like 6 pages (yk, the guy who left his sick wife at home to go drink??)

I have a bunch of OCs and a WIP story (videogame plans in progress) (anyone interested in knowing about them??? Pls I swear they’re silly goofy 🙏)

I live in Mexico, first language is Spanish (obviously) and English is my second language. (my grammar teacher (for English) told me I should be in a harder English class, sadly there’s nothing he can do lol (I have bragging rights, ok?))

there’s a chance I’m autistic, though as much as I have done a lot of investigation it’s still like a draft thought, you can never be so sure.

Anyone who read this whole thing tho, what character do I remind you of?

[amelias-calamity-quintet]

Representation in MoaH (& GoS)

I don't like to tag my works with a lot of the rep tags they normally would/could have. Personally, from publishing the first book in Word Walkers, my experience is that those tags are more often used to blacklist works and I don't think people should get the opportunity to pretend that queer people, BIPOC people, disabled people don't exist by flagging that. Also like. As a white person, I feel a little weird being like "Look at all my BIPOC characters!" It feels a little virtue signally to me. Telling good stories should just include diverse casts because the world is diverse. You know?

Further, in my experience, particular with Wattpad at the moment, I have a platform to give people the 101 to a lot of these concepts (in particular queer and disability rep, which are my communities) and change their minds that they would have otherwise missed if they'd stayed in their bubble. It does mean you probably won't see things like neopronouns in my works, but if I can change someone's mind about they/them being singular, that's a start. I have a lot of ESL readers according to my stats on Wattpad and translating that can be difficult. But if my work can be a gateway for them learning what that means, that's more good done.

Also, my fics attract a lot of eggs so like. Y'all are finding me anyway, I don't need the tags.

Anyway, here's some of the confirmed rep in book 1 of MoaH and in GoS if y'all need a reference though for what is blatantly in the works so far.

Queer Rep

Marela is a lesbian and in a relationship with Saddiqah by the end of book 1

Link & Saddiqah are both bi-icons (confirmed in the Din's Temple arc) with femme preferences

The fortuneteller in Lake Town (Hart) uses she/they pronouns

The tour guide (unnamed) in Lake Town uses they/them pronouns

Zelda's middle sibling is transmasc, though he is not reintroduced as such until book 2 for plot reasons. His identity and the story around it is given a serious storybeat and is one of the reasons why MoaH Link is my only Link I firmly will say is a cis man, because I'm making a point of in having Link as an example of healthy masculinity (as a cis man) for a trans kid trying to find a role model on it. The series does not use his deadname again though after Link finds out in book 1

They show up later in book 1, but there's a gay couple in the Marksmen, Sorol and Kutt

That's just book 1. I've got an enby knight and an enby Goron in book 2. I've also gone over how some of the Gerudo naming conventions work in my worldbuilding posts to include enby rep like the Gerudo word for nonbinary, vyu, though Dirjaani Gerudo culture doesn't come up in the books until book 3.

Over in GoS, Endeavor is actually a huge part of my coming to terms with my own gender. Originally published with she/her pronouns, the current edits are giving Endeavor they/them pronouns to accurately reflect what I didn't have the language for in high school when I started writing GoS. Endeavor is agendered.

Endeavor has two moms

Two of the Earth Sages, Insen and Hira, are in a relationship, they are both men.

Disability Rep

Lance, Link's dad, uses mobility aids due to an injury that forced him to retire from the Marksmen.

Link has ADHD with anxiety symptoms, chiefly social. This is an intentional conversation on courage and how we define it.

Zelda is autistic. MoaH Zelda is also plus-sized.

Floan is auADHD, she has a special interest in bugs

Kaju, the son of Lake Town's steward, has a prosthetic leg

Ambrose has severe motion sickness (horseback riding is about the most he can handle, but he will not fight on horseback)

Not strictly a disability, but it's a point of worldbuilding that most Hyrulean lineage Zora don't do well in the cold, so there are accessibility enchantments made to allow for traveling extensively in colder regions.

Also not strictly a disability, but sign language is much more widely taught in Hyrule. It's a mandatory lesson for the Marksmen for tactics reasons, so Ambrose, Saddiqah, and Link all have at least a conversational level of fluency in it if not better.

Back in GoS, Link's granddad Lynard uses mobility aids.

Parijan, Guardian of the Spirit Sage, is blind.

Saruo, Priestess of Courage, has anxiety. Again, I like messing with the definition of courage.

BIPOC Rep

Ok, admittedly. MoaH is a little light here. But! In my defense, it's because I want the worldbuilding of MoaH to code countries and cultures with certain ethnicities and not races/species (i.e. the Gerudo aren't just automatically Middle Eastern, there are several cultures where Gerudo are prominent members with multiple influences). So in Hyrule, where the primary culture is Hyrulean coded European generic, there aren't as many opportunities for coded characters ethnically because that's not how I'm handling it. There are characters who are BIPOC, but it feels like a bit of a cop out to include them because then I just list off all the Gerudo who show up because their POC and that feels a little cheap. I am including them too, but I want to preface that other regions of this series are going to be better at this particular beat (I circle back to the enby knight, who is also BIPOC of Faronan-Dirjaani heritage, but that's book 2).

Basic ones, there are three major Gerudo characters in book 1: Saddiqah El Amin, Dragmire Al Iber, and Ayad Al I'Tidal. They are all of the more standard Hyrulean-Dirjaani lineages closest to canon expectation. Dirjaani cultures are influenced by Middle Eastern and North African cultures, so they are all women of color.

Saddiqah in particular, and this gets into spoilers so I'll be brief, is specifically coded to be a biracial woman. For reasons that come up in book 3. It's why her horse, Ajan, has a Creole name which is outside of the typical naming conventions I'm grabbing for the Hyrulean-Dirjaani names.

The Sheikah are coded as Japanese in the games, so Impa is coded as Japanese along with the Hyrulean Sheikah. Sorol is also a Hyrulean Sheikah, so this applies for him too.

The Dreeka in Hyrule are generally coded to be an indigenous group. Because of their relationship with the Sheikah, primary influence there is the Ainu. This includes all of the Dreeka characters introduced in MoaH (Constant, Temperance, Clarity, etc.) as well as the Drex in GoS (Endeavor, Justice, Zeal, etc.)

Over in GoS, Parijan and Dabir are both Middle Eastern coded, we are aiming to be more specific in the edits.

Sayyida and Daniel are both black.

This is loose canon, but I think there's a real read to GoS about making Link black because of the nameless and the felons' rights allegory that that is meant to be. I will not confirm it because Link is meant to be a stand in for the reader and how they see him, but I do like the interpretation.

And again, this is just book 1. There are nine books planned, there will be more.

[emeritus-fuckers]

Hiii, I'd like to request a match up !!

First of all, sorry if it's written weird, English is not my first language and I'm in need of a few days of sleep lmao :') also this is very long because I have no idea how to write concisely to save my life, so, sorry for your eyes? brain? Idk but sorry

1 - I'm AFAB genderqueer, might be a demigirl ? idk gender is confusing. anyways, I use any pronouns because I'm extra like that lmao, and I prefer my sexuality to stay unlabelled for now

2 - Papas !! (they're so silly I love them)

3 - I'm rather small (163cm/5'4") and kinda pudgy. I would not say I'm plus size but I'm definitely thicker than average, especially around my hips and thighs (stretch marks n cellulite gang WYA). I used to be very insecure about it but thankfully I got better at loving myself (still working on it but I'll get there eventually). I'm also getting a tattoo on my upper left arm very soon (inspired by Kafka's Metamorphosis because yes) and hopefully some more piercings (I only have triple lobe for now). my hair's light brown and very short, I buzzed it back in August and I'm growing it out. Yes, I do have a terrible case of bed head. I also trim my eyebrows to be very short, makes it easier to do my makeup. Almost forgot to talk about my eyes, but basically they're blue-ish green and usually overshadowed by the huge dark circles I have. I don't dress according to one particular style, although I enjoy being in full goth fashion, makeup and all. I would probably describe my style by 'satanic grandma' because as much as I love my band shirts and inverted crosses, I also cannot live without my extensive collection of grandpa sweaters and ugly ties.

4 - I'm an introvert - and an awkward anxious ball of nerves at that, but I don't mind stepping up to the task in social situations if the people I'm with are not comfortable ordering food/asking a question. I usually am very cautious of how I act with new people I meet as I am autistic and don't want to 'scare them off' or make them uncomfortable. However, if we vibe, you get to know the still anxious but also very silly me. I especially love coming across other people that are on the spectrum, because we usually have a certain understanding of each other's way of acting and just be silly together. Speaking from experience with my closest friends, at least (not generalizing autistic people !!).

5 - I've been hyperfixating on Ghost for a good while now, but apart from that I'm very much interested in art. Learning about it of course, but also making it (I'm in art prep class rn and it's kicking my ass, send help). Drawing, writing, taking photos, making zines and stuff... hopefully after prep class I can get into a proper art school and study illustration, and maybe look into becoming a graphic novel author. My favorite artists would probably be Dora Maar, Gustave Doré and Gustav Klimt tbh. I also have an interest in geopolitics and history, especially in the Middle Ages' witch hunts and black death, but also in more recent topics such as the satanic panic. Basically all things occult and satanic. I also love internet horror media such as ARGs, like My house.wad or the Hypnagogic Archive. Music taste wise, I listen to everything, but my favorite genres are hard rock and metal. I'd say my all time fav artists are Ghost, Slayer (South of Heaven walked so that Year Zero could run, change my mind), Iron Maiden, SOAD, Twin Temple, Radiohead, alex g and Mitski.

6 - I'm a huge cat person but I also very much love crows and rats and reptiles and overall all the animals that would seem weird to keep as pets. Also I love love LOVE having deep conversations about complicated philosophical topics at night in a calm spot at a party or smth, specifically while drinking off-brand soda. Idk why I included this, I just thought of it and I'm too tired to question how my sleep deprived brain thinks right now.

Sorry again for the huge wall of text, y'all are the best !

Have a good day/night !!

This post is part of the 1000 followers match up event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your match is...Copia

He's all for helping you love yourself, he'll kiss any part of your body you are insecure about and everyday he tells you how amazing you look. The thing that really makes it work is that he means it, you can see the sincerity in his expression.

He can also be an awkward anxious bundle of nerves. But what is so cute is that both of you try and step up for the other in social situations. You see Papa Emeritus IV come out a lot at those times.

You vibed immediatly with him it was just an instant connection. He just got you, and you him. He treasures that so much.

He will help all he can with your art class prep. Like whatever you need. If you want him to just keep you company he's there, if you need models he'll get his rats to pose with him (it's just adorable). Or if you need to work super hard he'll bring you food and drinks to keep you going.

Sometimes he joins you but drawing isn't his strongest skill so it's a good giggle, he can laugh at his mistakes and he enjoys seeing you smile at them. Other times he'll sit and write songs as you work, he wrote one about you just the other day.

He got so excited when he found out you had an interest in the middle ages, witch hunts and black death. He literally squeaked with joy and you discussed it long into the night, while drinking lots of off-brand soda.

He also finds some really cool books for you to read from the clergy library, occult, satanic panic and so on, it's all there.

~

Written by Nyx

[the-autistic-agoraphobe]

Autistic April Day 25: Meltdowns and/or Shutdowns

As an Autistic person I have had my fair share of Meltdowns and Shutdowns. Both are very different to eachother. Sometimes I have a shutdown because I know if I don't have a shutdown I would end up having a Meltdown and I would rather pick the lesser of two evils.

Meltdowns on the outside for me can look like alot of crying. I can also have bursts of anger during a meltdown and shout and yell. Quiet a few things can trigger me to have a meltdown and two of the triggers include frustration because I miss out on things because of my Agoraphobia and seeing a girl who bullied me in high school. There are other triggers to that I prefer not to mention. To me meltdowns feel like a volcano erupting.

Shutdowns on the outside for me can look like not being able to talk and laying on my bed and watching youtube videos on my phone. Shutdowns can sometimes be caused by having trouble doing something because of my Agoraphobia and feeling disappointed in myself. There are other triggers to shutdowns I would also prefer not to mention. To me a shutdown feels like everything is too much and I need to have a break so talking goes out the window.

Unfortunately meltdowns and shutdowns are inevitable for Autistic people but they can be reduced and prevented with allowing Autistic people to have a break if they need one and prevent triggers if you can't prevent triggers try to reduce them. Accept that sometimes the Autistic person can't do things that they can do other times.

Image Descriptions:

1: Long John is a long furby with dark blue ears. He is knitted and his head is yellow at the top and white at the bottom of it. He has a red 3D printed faceplate with holes for his eyes and beak and for his light sensor. His body starts off dark blue than goes dark green than a lighter green than yellow than orange than a brighter orange than lastly Red with a streak of purple. His head is made from a 1998 furby with white eyelids and purple eyes. His feet are light green with red thread separating the toes. He also has a red spot on the green part of his body. Long John is laying down with his head on a red pillow. He is looking at a phone. There is a caption that says "Long John shows what Autistic shutdowns can look like"

2: There are a list of prompts for each day of the month for Autistic April. The top and bottom of the image is light purple and the middle part of the image is white with black text on it. The black text says "Autistic April 2024 Prompts: 1: Special interests 2: How you found out you were Autistic 3: your favourite stim 4: alternative forms of communication 5: your favourite fidget toys 6: textures you hate 7: safe foods 8: other disabilities you have 9: LBGTQI+ 10: childhood special interests11: comfort items 12: your favourite Autistic celebrities or characters13: unmasking 14: sensory aids 15: misdiagnosis 16: Autism friendly places 17: Disability support you have received 18: animals 19: favourite thing about being Autistic 20: echolalia 21: idenity first or Person first language 22: the spoon theory

23: colours that represent Autism (not blue) 24: Autistic owned small businesses 25: meltdowns and/or shutdowns 26: Your clothing prefences 27: Self care 28: Relatable Autism memes 29: Accessibility 30: routines" There is an infinity symbol that is half red and half gold on the top right corner of the white section. End Description.

[thatanthagirl]

“What is the best book in the New Testament to start with for a female with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)?”

✨ My Answer:

My favorites are Acts, Romans, and Ephesians.

It kinda depends on what you already know/ have heard about. How knowledgeable are you about the Bible/ what it contains/ Before and After Jesus/ what He did/ etc.

If you’re starting with close to no knowledge of the New Testament/ life of Jesus/ etc., read the first 4 books (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John). If you just want to start with one, then I recommend Matthew. I really like that his character in the series “The Chosen” appears to have autism, or autistic traits, so I’m probably biased towards this book as well.

The first 4 books of the New Testament are known as the “Gospels”. Written by the named disciple and their account of their walk with Jesus. At first, I thought they were all the same at first, cause a lot of the stories are in all 4 books.. but that’s because each book is written by the disciple who witnessed/ decided to write about their experience/ perspective with the story. Each disciple was unique, so their experience/ perspective was different, so each Gospel is as well. Similar, sure. But different. (This is why I recommend Matthew; more details)

If you know the basics (or more) then I recommend Romans. That’s one of my top 5 favorites, so I’m probably biased.

Very explanatory. Very motivating. They were for me, anyways. More “details and understanding” than the “fire and brimstone” of the Old Testament.

✨ Books I had trouble with as a Female with BPD:

• 1 Corinthians makes me sad. It’s known as the “love” book. It has the verses about “what love is”. I try to avoid it. If I have to read it, then I have to get myself into a certain state of mind; I have to be aware of myself and mood/ feelings and I have to stop reading if I start getting too emotional cause I don’t read with “love” when I’m fighting “love” so I definitely can’t receive the “love” God is trying to give me.. if that makes any sense.

• I had a problem with Ephesians at first. Mostly because of the expectations for married people. I just couldn’t see myself ever BEING the wife God wants me to be, OR having a marriage with a man who IS the husband God wants him to be. I’ve heard lots of preachers say that marriage isn’t the destination.. it’s the starting point. As a female with BPD, my idea of marriage was the opposite; marriage was the goal. Well, a relationship was, not necessarily marriage. I couldn’t do anything if I wasn’t in a relationship; kind of like my life was on pause if I didn’t have someone to live for. Even after I had kids, I still craved the presence of a human that was MINE. So, when I learned that God and I had different thoughts on love and marriage, I rebelled against Him and stopped reading about marriages/ relationships/ expectations of women/ anything along those lines. Now that my relationship with God is stronger, I am more open-minded. I still have my own desires but I’m trying to be patient and wait for Gods guidance. And I pray. A lot.

✨ My Advice/ Opinions:

Translation: It’s important to pick a translation that you can understand. I recommend doing some research and find one that is close to the original languages translation. There are SOOOO many different translations of the Bible; it’s crazy to me. I like to cross reference the NIV (my preferred translation) with the KJV (my first and familiar translation). Choosing the right translation for you can be hard. Ask someone you trust to help you, maybe someone at your church or a Bible book store clerk, etc. Even just having a good friend with you so you don’t get too overwhelmed can help a bunch.

• There are websites that list the same verse in different translations on the same page. When I saw how many translations there are and how different some of them were, I got freaked out cause it made me wonder how they could be so different.. Some of them didn’t even seem like they meant the same thing. I questioned the whole translation process to begin with and thought I needed to learn the original language, so I didn’t need a dang translation to begin with.. and maaaaan.. that’s a stress I don’t wish on anyone! Phew, sorry for that little freak out there!

* Fun Fact: Unicorns. Lots of translations change the word “unicorn” to “oxen”. You’re welcome :) *

Pray before you read: Ask God to allow you to understand His word; To be open and to learn what He needs you to; To let Him speak to you; To allow Him to guide you.

Reading His Word: The Bible isn’t just a way to learn about the history of the world or a “how to not end up in Hell: for dummies” book. The Bible is one of the ways that God talks to us. How we build a relationship with Him. How we learn about Him; what and why He did what He did; what and why He didn’t do what He didn’t do. How we know what’s good and what’s evil; what to aim for and what to avoid. When you really connect to His word, being aware of how you feel as you read, and what you learn: THAT is when you are closest to God. Helping you to be open to His guidance and His will. A deeper understanding of this life and the next. (I have a peace that I’ve never had before. I believe in purpose. I trust in the promise. The closer I get to God, the more tolerable this world is.)

"False Teachers": The New Testament has lots of warnings about “false teachers”. While some of them will try to sabotage your faith or beliefs on purpose, not all of them will have that malicious intendent. (I recommend reading Timothy). I firmly believe that every single human will have a different walk with God (yes, even the ones who don't believe in Him).

Re-read anything/ everything as often as you can/ want to: Life changes. Situations change. Perspectives change. Humans change. So, the way we receive information changes, too. A verse could mean one thing to you when you’re a kid, but a completely different thing when you’re an adult. And each person will have a unique experience with each verse. Similar, sure. But, unique. Just like if 2 people watch the same movie and talk about it afterwards (how it made them feel, what the moral of the story was, what they liked/ disliked most, their favorite character, etc.), their thoughts and experiences will be different, because each person is different.

• Having different opinions or understandings than other people isn't a bad thing.. but, when I first started reading the Bible, I got confused pretty quick. My confusion caused more questions and doubts when I would talk to others about their thoughts and beliefs. Everyone had something different to say. I didn't know what was "right" or "true". I got into a lot of heated debates about God and life theories. It was extremely overwhelming. I wanted to give up. Everything I knew or thought I knew (about God.. about life.. about me..) got twisted and mixed together. I didn’t know what was real..

Being (or Becoming) a Christian Female with BPD: Identity struggles are huge challenges for people with BPD. Who we are depends so much on who we’re around or what certain people say about who we are. Trust is hard. Having a strong and firm belief system is hard. Trying to be sure that anything is "real" or "true" can seem impossible. It's important to remember to be aware of how easily we are swayed by our relationships. So, I highly recommend: either

1) picking ONE person you trust to read the Bible with you. Someone who is willing to help you sort through what you read and won't tell you what you're supposed to understand but will help you to come to your own understanding.

2) reading on your own. Look up the definitions of any words you don’t understand. Keep notes about what verses you read and what you understood about them.

• Read and pray as much and as often as you can. Open-mindedly develop an understanding of what you believe to be true about what you read. Then, once you're comfortable and have settled on what you believe to be true about what you've read, then you can start discussing it with other people.. carefully. When/ if you have questions, cause you most likely will, ask someone you trust. Someone who doesn’t cause you to doubt yourself or your beliefs or try to force their beliefs onto you. Someone who can inspire your curiosity, direct you to verses that can give you deeper understanding, or by discussing different perspectives.

✨ Closing Thoughts:

I’m sorry I’m ranting/ repeating myself/ stressing too much but my walk with God has been so out of whack because I was trying to mold to what I was “supposed” to do.. it wasn’t until I realized that I actually WANTED to read my Bible.. WANTED to understand.. WANTED to be who God wants me to be instead of who the world says I should be..

BPD is seriously a freaking drag. I’m currently in the process of a sort of isolation period, praying, and asking God to allow me to make HIM my “favorite person” because He is the only one that I KNOW will never leave or forsake me.

“Man will fail you.. God won’t”

Let the Bible become your safe space, your “escape”. When you realize you’re not understanding what you’re reading, stop, make a note to return, and move to a different book if you want to keep reading.

What’s that saying about muddy water? You can’t see through it. You have to wait till it settles. Anxiety/ frustration/ etc. keeps the water muddy.. so, you don’t see what you’re supposed/ want to see.

I’m just a girl that is only 💯% sure of 1 thing: God is real (and all the obvious to me things that come along with that certainty)..

I remind myself that, although I’m not perfect in this world, I will be perfect when I leave it, because God made me that way, because HE is that way. Life is messy, humans are messy. Also (a little humor) don’t take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyways 😘

I’ll pray for you and your journey. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. 🙏🏻

[a-queer-seminarian]

so ya wanna know about autism: masterpost

I give this google doc link out to individuals a lot, and realized it might be useful for a lot of people if i shared it more widely. It’s a masterpost of a whole bunch of Autistic Stuff -- here’s the link to the actual doc, but i’ll also post it all here on tumblr (under a readmore after the table of contents).

(edit: if the hyperlinks aren’t working for you, here’s the google doc url that you can copy and paste into an internet browser to access everything: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16BqhRv4IlZ6KcElGAEZOx8sFYwRs4W1jF-ddY_XKYnE/edit?usp=sharing )

Please spread it around (including sharing the google doc link outside of tumblr wherever you want). Feel free to comment with more resources, tumblr posts, articles, etc. that you find helpful! And if any links are broken, let me know.

It can be a major challenge for adult autistic folks to find content for us and by us, because so much “official” content is 1) ableist and harmful and 2) geared towards parents of autistic children. So I’ve compiled just about every resource I’ve got that discusses autism by and for #actuallyautistic folks.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

- ORGANIZATIONS AND SELF ADVOCATES

- DEFINING AND DESCRIBING AUTISM

misc.

Metaphors and images for autism

Disability models

Issues with Functioning Labels, ideas of “Mild” - “Severe” autism

- AUTISM AND INTERSECTIONALITY

misc.

Autism among women

Autism and race

Autism and LGBTQ

- STUFF ON SELF DIAGNOSIS

misc.

Is it ADHD or Autism??

Tests / checklists

- STUFF ON PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS

- AUTISTIC PRIDE / CULTURE AND HISTORY!

misc.

Autism / disability history and culture

The Neurodiversity Movement

Person first vs. identity first language

Cureism

- AUSTITIC TRAITS (BEYOND THE ONES COMMONLY DISCUSSED!)

Misc. - samefoods, lists, needing to know what to expect, etc.

Stimming

Communication stuff - misc. - Verbal/nonverbal - Infodumping - echolalia - Prosopagnosia - Aphasia - Eye contact

Special interests / hyperfixations

Auditory Processing Disorder

Sensory issues / Sensory Processing Disorder

Meltdowns and Shutdowns and Burnout

Executive function

Emotion stuff

- MASKING / PASSING / SCRIPTING

- WHY AUTISM SPEAKS AND ABA ARE SO BAD

- MISCELLANEOUS

Suicide

Allyship / for allistics - For parents of autistic persons

More non-speaking autistic self-advocates

misc.

_________________

SOME ORGANIZATIONS AND SELF ADVOCATES

ASAN!!

The Autistic Woman and Nonbinary Network

Amethyst Schaber’s “Ask and Autistic” YouTube full of videos on various autistic stuff

Lydia X.Z. Brown / Autistic Hoya 

Dr. Nick Walker

Mrs. Kerima Çevik

“Non-Speaking Autistic Speaking” - Amy Sequnzia’s blog

“The thinking person’s guide to autism”

The How-To Wiki for autism is actually really helpful! 

Ollibean blog .

DEFINING AND DESCRIBING AUTISM

Video: “What is autism?”

“About autism”

“What being autistic means to me”

Myths about autism .

Metaphors and images for autism - “Autism is a sundae bar” - “Autism is purple” - “Understanding the spectrum” comic - Another visual on the idea of a spectrum - And another visual on the spectrum - not an on-off switch .

Disability models - Understanding disability models - Video: models of disability discourse .

Functioning Labels, “Mild” or “Severe” autism - Article on functioning labels - “What’s wrong with functioning labels? A masterpost” - Another article on problems with functioning labels - “I don’t experience my autism mildly; you experience my autism mildly” - A non-speaking autistic who is labeled non-functioning discusses labels - “Most people would consider me low-functioning, but I hate that word” - Tweets from actual autistics on functioning labels - How the same person may be labeled low or high functioning at different times - “Mental Age Theory hurts people with disabilities” .

AUTISM AND INTERSECTIONALITY

Article on autism in communities of color + in the LGBTQ community

Autism, intersectionality, and STEM college outcomes

Articles on intersectionality on The Art of Autism .

Autism among women - A reminder about talking about differences in autism in “females” - “I thought I was lazy: the invisible struggle for autistic women” - “The women who don’t know they’re autistic” - “The gas-lighting of women and girls on the autism spectrum” .

Autism and race - “Being Autistic, Black, and Femme” - “Black and Autistic: Is there room at the advocacy table?” - “Autistic, Gifted, and Black” - “I, too, am Racialized” - Autistic Hoya on being Chinese & a transracial adoptee - Video: “Growing up BLACK in a neurotypical legal system” - The Autism Wars: Mrs. Kerima Çevik’s blog .

Autism and LGBTQ - “Autism and gender variance - is there a cause for the correlation?” - “The intersection of autism and gender” - Issues being transmasc and autistic - “Gendervague: At the intersection of Autistic and trans experiences” - “I’m an autistic lesbian and no, I don’t wish I were ‘normal’” .

STUFF ON SELF DIAGNOSIS:

A self-diagnosis masterpost!

Autistic self-dx is valid

“Reasons why self-dx is good from the pov of a professional” 

Some reasons why autism may go undiagnosed 

“Five reasons I am self identified as autistic”

“Beware of gatekeeping”

A masterpost of “resources for women who believe they might be autistic”

A therapist who’s never met an incorrect self-dx-er .

Is it ADHD or Autism?? - Links to information on the intersections between autism and ADHD - A list of things that are more ADHD, things that are more autism, and things that are both - Science: decoding the overlap between ADHD and autism - The concept of neurodivergent “cousins” .

Various tests / checklists: - ASD Checklist - List of inclusive autistic traits - Book: I Think I Might Be Autistic: A Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis and Self-Discovery for Adults .

STUFF ON PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS:

Privilege in being able to get a diagnosis

Pros and cons of getting one

Someone answers the question “Was it worth it for you to get diagnosed as an adult?”

Professional diagnosis can get some people deported :/

This person’s journey from self-dx to pro-dx .

AUTISTIC PRIDE / CULTURE AND HISTORY!

The wiki how-to on accepting your autism

The wiki how-to on autistic strengths 

“7 Cool Aspects of Autistic Culture”

“I’m autistic and proud of it”

“You are not a burden” 

“What is self advocacy?” .

Autism / disability history and culture - Video: “Is autism a disability?” - A google drive “disability library” full of amazing content - A tumblr tag full of posts with autistic history - Book - Loud Hands: Autistic People, Speaking includes essays that explore the history of autism and of autistic self-advocacy - Book - Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity .

The Neurodiversity movement - The neurodiversity paradigm - Video: basic terms and definitions - Video: what is neurodiversity? - Liberating ourselves from the pathology paradigm .

Person first vs. identity first language (“person with autism” vs. “autistic person”) - ASAN on identity first language - Why it matters - Video: Autism ACTUALLY Speaking - Science: a study on what labels actual autistic persons prefer - An image showing the difference between person first and identity first language .

Cureism & seeking causes of autism - Video: “Autism and the disability community: the politics of neurodiversity, causation, and cure” - Video: Self advocacy in a culture of cure - An analogy against cureism - It’s okay that some autistics do want a cure - Quotes on Truth Is by Julia Bascom about not needing a cure - Cureism is eugenics - “If a cure is found, no one will force you to take it” .

AUTISTIC TRAITS (BEYOND THE ONES COMMONLY DISCUSSED!)

“Thinking about patterns of opposite extremes among autistic people” (e.g. how we tend to be sensory avoidant or sensory seeking, extremely gender conforming or extremely gender nonconforming, hyper-empathetic or hypo-empathetic)

An essay on inclusive autistic traits

This tumblr is dedicated to answering people asking about whether various things are autistic traits!

This person lists the reasons they think (know) they’re autistic; the list includes a lot of traits that often aren’t talked about 

“Some autism things” .

“What are samefoods?” - “Why do autistic people tend to samefood?”

It’s okay if you don’t like certain things / avoid certain things because of your autism

Wanting/needing to know how long something will last, what to expect .

Stimming! - Video: what is stimming? - Video on self-injurious stims - Video: autobiographical look at stimming and its role - More than a coping mechanism - A masterpost of examples of various types of stimming - Video on vocal / verbal stimming - Examples of vocal stimming as communication - A tumblr blog with a tag full of examples of body stims .

Communication stuff - Trouble with volume modulation; repetition; inconsistent talking habits - Autistic idiolects - Autistic dialect? - Autistics communicate differently amongst each other! . - Verbal/nonverbal - - Selective mutism - - Semiverbal communication - - Different amounts of access to speech - - A person on being non-verbal and using AAC - - People who are nonverbal still deserve to be listened to .

Infodumping - What is infodumping?

Echolalia - “Autism and Echolalia: what you need to know” - What is echolalia? - A tumblr blog’s tag featuring examples of echolalia

Aphasia and autism

Prosopagnosia (Face blindness) - Science: a study confirming that some 67% of autistic persons have some degree of facial recognition difficulties - Science: a study offering theories for why this is!

Video: Autistics and eye contact - Science: Researchers explore why autistic people avoid eye contact

Tendency to overexplain .

Special interests / hyperfixations - Some info on hyperfixations - Video on special interests - Emphasizing the intensity of these things - “What’s so special about a special interest?” - “Why we love what we love and why it should matter to you” - Not every autistic person knows everything there is to know about their special interest - “Interest hopping” - Dividing our life into “eras” of special interests .

Auditory Processing Disorder - Examples of APD - “You might struggle with auditory processing if…” .

Sensory Processing Disorder - Video: What is sensory processing disorder? - Video: a virtual experience of what it’s like to be at a party as someone with SPD - A post about some of the weird sensory stuff that many autistics experience (such as feeling nauseated when your real issue is a headache) - Many sensory issues aren’t just annoying, but physically painful - Difficulty in explaining autistic hypersensitivities - Auditory sensory musings - Trying to describe sensory overload - Not noticing when we’re hungry - Weird tolerance for big pain, intolerance for small pain - Science: “Unseen Agony: Dismantling Autism’s house of pain” - Tumblr blog with a tag of other posts about sensory issues .

Meltdowns and Shutdowns and burnout: - Meltdowns vs. shutdowns - Video: “What are autistic meltdowns?” - Video: “What are autistic shutdowns?” - A description of meltdowns - Signs of a shutdown in autistic people - How to support someone having a shutdown - Science: “Autistic shutdown alters brain function” - How to avoid meltdowns - “Dealing with meltdowns” - “The protective gift of meltdowns” - Video on autistic burnout - Article on burnout - Science: Autistic burnout described by a researcher - An article on autistic regression (burnout) - “Help! I seem to be getting more autistic” - talks about how things like burnout, aging, new environment, being around other autistics, and more can cause this .

Executive function - Video: “What is executive functioning?” - A chart describing the different aspects of executive function - “Executive functioning problems - a frustrating aspect of being autistic” - Autistic inertia .

Emotion stuff (including empathy) - Our emotional regulation is different - Article: (some) people with autism can read emotions, feel empathy - Video on misconceptions around autism and empathy - “Double standards: The irony of empathy and autism” - Science on the “double empathy problem” involving relationships between autistics and non-autistics - Not a bad person for not having empathy - More musings on autism and empathy - “Autistic grief is not like neurotypical grief” .

Alexithymia: - Science: Overlap between autism and alexithymia - Video: what is alexithymia? - “I don’t know how I feel”

MASKING / PASSING 

Video on passing

An infographic on autistic masking

Another video on masking / “hiding” in a neurotypical world

We are not obligated to mask or “act less autistic”

When you mask less and get told “you’ve been acting more autistic”

Getting called high-functioning because you mask/pass well

Scripting: - Video: what is scripting? 

WHY AUTISM SPEAKS AND ABA ARE SO BAD

A guide to identifying good autism organizations (and how they can improve!)

Autism Speaks:

Some facts and statistics 

An AS masterpost

Another AS masterpost

Video: What’s wrong with AS?

Video: a non-speaking autistic’s response to discussions between Autism Speaks and GRASP

“Enough with the puzzle pieces”

“I resign my roles at Autism Speaks”

“Responding to Autism Speaks” .

ABA:

Video: what’s ABA? 

“Studies find thin evidence for early autism therapies” 

Masterpost of why ABA is harmful

More on how ABA is abusive even if a kid “seems to like it”

An autistic describes ABA’s “quiet hands” method

And another post on how ABA is harmful

Trauma and autism

Alternatives to ABA

MISCELLANEOUS 

Suicide - Video: Speaking to suicidal autistics - Science linking autism and increased suicidality - Video: “diagnosis saved my life” .

Allyship / for allistics - Video: How to be an ally - Resources for supporting autistics during Autism Acceptance month and year-round! - Autistic accessibility needs - “How to be a friend to autistic people” - 15 things you never say to an autistic person - What to say / not to say to an autistic adult - Video: what shouldn’t I say to autistic people? - Video: Things not to say to an autistic person - Video: “Isn’t everyone a bit autistic?” - Don’t talk about “mental age” - “To those who tell autistic persons ‘everyone experiences that’” - Why it’s not helpful to say “well I don’t think of you as disabled / as autistic” - How to support a loved one who’s gone temporarily nonverbal - How to support someone having a shutdown - Help reduce meltdowns in a loved one - Don’t restrain an autistic person having a meltdown - Understanding why autistics seem “so picky” - Making communication easier for your autistic friend - Avoiding ableism against AAC users - How to protect your autistic employees from ‘no script found’ situations” .

For parents of autistic persons - “Don’t Mourn for Us” - “You don’t ‘lose a child to autism’” - Advice from autistic adults on treating your autistic children with respect - A masterpost of advice for “autism parents” - It’s okay if your kid doesn’t hug you or say “I love you” - “They keep publishing these violent articles” - “When you’re autistic, abuse is considered love” - You don’t have to tell everyone who comes across you and your kid in public that your kid is autistic / you don’t have to constantly apologize for your kid! - Your kid isn’t bad / uncooperative just because they have certain differences - Don’t tell autistic adults we are “nothing like your child” - A tag full of more tumblr posts about / for “autism parents”

More non-speaking autistic self-advocates - Video: “In My Language” by Mel Baggs - Mel Baggs: “Don’t ever assume autism researchers know what they’re doing” - Lysik’an: “You don’t speak for low-functioning autistics” - Film: Deej

Autistics and the idea of “getting out of your comfort zone”

Autistics accommodate allistics far more than the other way around 

It is icky when autistic persons are only valued when we’re “productive” 

Parents who are themselves autistic

Autism as genetic? - Science: “Autism Genetics, Explained”

Science: links to some studies on autism and gastro-intestinal issues, autism and caffeine, autism and sleep, autism and stimming, autism and queerness, autistic strengths, and more

[deusluxuria]

[badly edited image of johnny's head edited onto a stock photo of a person holding up a stop sign]

Hi, it's me, a disabled person.

Here's some basic info because of some worrying things I see in the JJBA fandom in regards to Johnny and other disabled characters.

Reblogs are very much encouraged and appreciated, by anyone of any group (meaning, yes, you can reblog this if you're not disabled).

Image text:

ABLEISM

a-ble-ism \ 'ābə-,li-zəm \

noun

A system that places value on people's bodies and minds based on societally constructed ideas of normality, intelligence, excellence, desirability, and productivity. These constructed ideas are deeply rooted in anti-Blackness, eugenics, misogyny, colonialism, imperialism and capitalism.

This form of systemic oppresion leads to people and society determining who is valuable and worthy based on a person's language, appearance, religion and/or their ability to satisfactorily [re]produce, excel and "behave."

You do not have to be disabled to experience ableism.

a working definition by Talila "TL" Lewis*; updated January 2021

*developed in community with Disabled Black & other negatively racialized people, especially Dustin Gibson

__________

These are some ableist slurs: crippled/crippling, retarded, demented, deranged, diffability, handicapped, handicapable, cretin, moron, inane, mental (as a non-medical adjective)

Some ableist language: wheelchair bound / bound to a wheelchair / confined to a wheelchair, lame (in reference to a disability), invalid (as a noun), psychotic (as an adjective), autistic (as an adjective), mute (to describe a nonspeaking person)

More ableist slurs & language usage, and more about ableist language:

https://www.autistichoya.com/p/ableist-words-and-terms-to-avoid.html?m=1

Some disabled people not being bothered by some of these words/terms doesn't mean these words are less harmful or dehumanizing for other disabled people.

Just because abled people have normalized this usage of language doesn't make it okay.

Getting rid of ableist slurs & ableist language usage isn't the most important thing & it's not gonna get rid of ableism, but it's important & helpful to think about.

Some disabled people prefer identity-first language and find it empowering (i.e. I'm disabled / a disabled person). Some strongly prefer person-first language ("person with a disability").

Being disabled is not a tragedy. It's ableist to pity a disabled person solely because of the fact they're disabled.

Disabled people do have sex. -- Also, when it comes to talking about ableism & the infantilization / dehumanization of disabled people in regards to sex, the term is "desexualized," not asexual. Asexuality is an identity. Desexualization is to talk about someone in a dehumanizing way that suggests a lack of sexuality, in contradiction to the person's own sexual identity. (I.e. suggesting a disabled person does not have sex or does not experience sexual desire on account of the fact they're disabled).

Disabled people are not objects. You need our consent before you touch us or our belongings and mobility aids (i.e. wheelchair, cane).

Some disabled people need to use diapers, catheters, colostomy bags. Some disabled people can't shower/bathe/generally look after their hygiene as often or as well as some people's standards. Making fun of this is ableist.

Disability is not privilege, it's the opposite. (Yes, even if you can't work and get to fight with the government so they can give you some pennies every month while graciously restricting you from being able to get married or afford a house or even a 1bedroom apartment if you want them to keep throwing pennies at you).

A disabled white supremacist / fascist / bigot is still a white supremacist / fascist / bigot.

Do not compare marginalizations. As in, don't compare ableism & racism (i.e. this [ableist thing] is like when [racist thing]). Unless you yourself are part of all the marginalized identities you're comparing. Otherwise, doing this is exploitive to the marginalized groups you're comparing to.

If you're not disabled, you don't get to speak for us or decide what's ableist and what isn't.

We have a big community on Twitter if you want to know more. We post under the hashtag "#DisabilityTwitter"

Thanks!!

[pale-silver-comb]

So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals. 

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong. 

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day. 

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.) 

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.  

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.  

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.  

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon. 

[doctorbunny]

MILGRAM theory time: Haruka!

This isn't going to go super in depth (famous last words) but there's a few heavily debated parts of Haruka's MV I want to share my findings/thoughts on because I think this is my new special interest and during my quest to get best boy's song to 1 million views I have been looking over his first MV with a fine tooth comb so to speak.

Disclaimer: As the Jackalope said in the "This is the MILGRAM" trailer, we don't necessarily know everyone's crime from just the first video, its possible that a lot of things will be re-contextualized in the second MV, however I am not psychic or bilingual and thus will only be working with content released before August 20th 2021 and translated into English (which could cause some language/cultural details to be lost on me as translation is not a 1 to 1 process).

TW for discussions of ableism, child abuse, murder and animal death. Also this is really long so sorry to all the people that follow me for non-MILGRAM stuff

Firstly, I want to start on the topic of Haruka as a person. He is disabled. He does not have 'the mind of a child' (although he is 17, making him legally a minor in both North America and Japan). He is not just 'child-like'. And he is not mentally ill (well he might be, in the sense that many disabilities like Haruka's have strong comorbidities [where a person has two or more conditions but neither directly causes the other] with anxiety, depression and PTSD, but usually when I see people talk about him 'struggling with mental illness' they go on to refer to aspects of his disability). Sometimes on tumblr, people like myself, will see canonical traits written into a character and identify them as being traits associated with our disabilities/mental illness and headcanon them as such. Sometimes this even involves saying things like "It's basically canon!" Although we understand that these characters were probably not the result of a writer intending to write a disabled person. When I say that Haruka is being written as a person with a neurodevelopmental disability, I mean the writer intended to write a disabled character and wrote them in a way that they wanted the audience to pick up on. As an autistic person (which is one of many neurodevelopmental disorders and also something I probably didn't have to specify because who else would be writing an essay about a series they got into a few days ago at 11 o'clock at night) I really like how Haruka has been written so far. There's definitely some parts of him that have been exaggerated so abled normies can pick up on his disability (namely how his MV 's main motif is really child-like drawings) but the writers also included a lot of smaller details I appreciate like how it is noted he avoids eye contact when talking to other people and is depicted as nervously pulling at his sleeves in official artwork, or how he says he finds his prison uniform (which has tight straps) 'relaxing' and when he gets nervous/tense, he will dig his fingernails into the palm of his hands. (These last two potential being examples of 'self stimulation' [aka stimming] where a person seeks out specific sensory stimuli in order to help regulate their nervous system/emotions, in this case the tight uniform creates a comforting, secure feeling [you may have heard about some people preferring to sleep under weighted blankets for this reason] and digging nails into his palms sounds uncomfortable/painful but is done in an attempt to deal with a greater sensory discomfort caused by the situation/environment) I also appreciate the depth he is written with, he struggles to communicate verbally but in his MV and interactions with other inmates is shown to have insecurities, opinions and a consistent thought process (this is all basic character stuff but unfortunately not always present in disabled characters)

Also I want to add that (in terms of what we've been shown so far) Haruka did not kill anyone because of his disability/mental illness. Disabled people are not inherently more innocent than abled people. But there is no disability/mental illness where a symptom is that you kill people and real people have to live with the stigma when you speak carelessly and suggest things like "Haruka is the kind of mentally ill person who kills people as a cry for help" 🧂 (or at the very least real people have to read BS like that and cringe). TL;DR Haruka is less child-like and more onion-like (as in, he has layers) 🧅🧅🧅

Now is the actual theory stuff, oops:

Every prisoner in MILGRAM is supposed to have committed murder in some way, obviously considering Yuno just had an abortion (which i personally do not consider an act of murder) whilst Mu literally stabbed someone to death, this definition is stretched a bit. But it is not agreed upon yet who Haruka killed/how many people he killed or why he killed.

In his MV he is shown to have chased after his dog into a forest, seen something off-screen, then beaten something into a messy pulp with a rock. Some people think the dog is a red herring and that Haruka actually killed his mother/the girl from the fireworks show/his brother. I do not agree.

First: I believe Haruka when he says he doesn't have a brother. The MV literally starts by Haruka looking in the mirror and then switching between the him now

and a really similar looking younger child who just so happened to be a key feature of his memories (I don't have the vocabulary to explain it but its like cinematic parallels that establish this is the same person at different points of their life)

Its not impossible that this is Haruka's secret younger brother, but i think its unlikely. I saw someone saying they had to be different people because Haruka looks less happy than the child but like, most 17 year olds are less visibly happy than when they were 7 (or however old the child is meant to be). Life happens.

So when Haruka is shown pushing the child around and eventually strangling him, this isn't meant to be literal (homicide or suicide), but a representation of how conflicted Haruka feels about his younger self, who may have committed the murder (if you've ever been kept awake cringing at memories of something you said in the past and wishing you could go slap some sense into your former self, this is like that but 10 times more self loathing). The lyric "I am always repeating yesterday," implies he might think about this specific past event a lot.

Moving on, its pretty well accepted that Haruka's parents were abusive in some way and Haruka internalised a lot of it: he constantly apologises, he says in his interrogation questions that his one wish come true is that "[he] want[s] to be loved" and describes in his MV how when he couldn't find the words he was looking for ("you're unfair") one of his parents "would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”". He seems to know its unfair but also still says he 'loves' his family, possibly mistakenly believing it is his fault, but also showing an awareness of his situation (and how his parents might behave).

Now, the MV is stylised in a way that makes certain details unclear, but there is one clear detail showing that Haruka's dog was killed

This is the first close up of Haruka and the dog. Haruka's mother is just out of frame supervising, but they look pretty happy. Notice how the puppy has a silvery chain for a collar. Somehow, this dog gets out of the house but only Haruka is shown chasing after it (whether his mother was searching elsewhere or didn't bother following her disabled son into the forest is unclear). Either way, young Haruka is now in the forest, unsupervised.

By the time he finds the dog, there is already blood, suggesting it was initally attacked by something else.

is this a sigh of relief from a boy whose finally found his beloved pet or a jealous weakling glad that nature took its course and he is finally free of that meddling mutt stealing all his mummy's attention? /j

I think this shock at the discovery that 'there is blood on his hands' could imply that rather than literally getting the blood from his dog, Haruka has seen his already injured dog and realises that if the dog got out because of him (he is previously shown to be aware his parents seem to blame him for everything) then he is the reason his dog is injured/dying and will be blamed for it. (this scene plays over the lyrics "It’s fine, though it’s really not It’s really fine, though I don’t really think so When I tried to understand it, You’ll make that disappointed face again" suggesting he is trying to avoid making his parents disappointed and letting the family pet escape into danger is something that could make them very disappointed)

now we get into rock murder (this is present-day Haruka implying that this is either: not how the scene really played out; the writers really wanting the audience to know that this was Haruka's doing and not someone else's; or this turns into a separate incident that happened much later [although note that the red sky and blue moon is the same as when young Haruka first appears at the start])

b the corpse is beyond mangled now, but its clearly the dog because the silver chain collar is still there, to the right of the body. (circled in red for your convenience :3)

My hypothesis is: Haruka didn't set out to kill his dog, but upon finding it injured (we don't know the severity aside from bleeding and also it not being able to run away from Haruka kneeling down above it w/ a big rock so it could range from treatable with a lot of vet help to already on death's door, TBH I don't think Haruka would know the difference) He knew he'd be blamed for this; made into a villain who let the poor puppy come to harm. He panicked and killed the dog out of some idea that it would make him the victim here (since he'd be found crying over a dog corpse, which might make a parent go comfort him rather than getting angry about what could've happened to the dog). This is over the lyrics: "I cried, I screamed I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling I was in denial, I was in denial I just had to make sure I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim" (there's another theory that he was also jealous of the dog, which could work here too, since this is not some calculated plot; rather its a rash decision) This ties in with his Japanese song title (translated as Weakness) which is a play on a phrase sort of like "The strong eat, the weak do not" to become "The weak are eaten by society" or "The weak eat each other to survive" [once again I am reminding everyone this is based on second hand information from the youtube comments section (from users mitchki and Alphaistic) because I do not speak Japanese] This second meaning (The weak eat each other to survive) makes sense under the reading that Haruka killed his dog in order to 'survive' making his parents disappointed for the dog escaping.

Miscellaneous points:

We don't know where Haruka's necklace came from yet, it must be a gift since the most expensive thing he's ever bought was cotton candy. The younger child in the video isn't wearing it and neither is his mother or the girl in the purple dress.

Haruka's home seems quite big, at the start we can see a large flower garden outside the window and there's a forest in walking distance. This might suggest his family is quite wealthy

Haruka probably did go to school at some point as homeschooling is not a legally accepted as an alternative to public schools in Japan. (However it is estimated that up to 5000 families homeschool, this is uncommon) A lot (about 62%) of Japanese schools apparently have a 'special needs' classes and there are about 505 schools focused on educating intellectually disabled students (although I do not know which sort Haruka would've needed as whilst intellectual and development disabilities can be comorbid they aren't the same). Now, if children aged 7-14 don't go to school, their parents receive a fine, but its possible that if Haruka's parents are wealthy, they just paid it to avoid sending him to school. (This might imply they wanted to hide him or were generally ashamed of him in some way) However high school education (for students over 14) is not legally required and its likely that even if Haruka went to elementary/middle school, he hasn't been around people his own age in at least 3 years. As he seems quite lonely and glad that the other prisoners give him attention.

I don't think Haruka's parents are divorced and if they are, its not his father who left. Haruka mentions in the 30 questions that he thinks he disappointed his father. But still includes him as part of his family ("My father and mother and me"). A theory I've seen is that his father was disappointed by his son being disabled and left. but developmental disabilities (especially in non verbal and semi verbal children like Haruka) can be diagnosed before the age of 3, so I feel it is unlikely that Haruka would bring up his father if he left that early in Haruka's life

All MILGRAM prisoners have covered one of DECO*27's older vocaloid songs (DECO*27 is a well known producer who composes the music for MILGRAM) Haruka covered 'Two Breaths Walking' (https://youtu.be/puXLfVWrz2Q) which is about a boy's first relationship and how his mother's jealousy set him up for failure as the relationship becomes toxic (specifically it has some very funny out of context lines like "Whose breasts are you sucking on now?") so yeah, mommy issues: the song (Also: some people say in the song, the boy kills the girl at the end, but this isn't literal, TBW is the first of a trilogy of songs about the same relationship, it is followed by Android girl then Two Breaths Walking: Reloaded and the story resolves with the couple reuniting as adults and getting in the relationship again, although its not necessarily as abusive as before, its still implied to be codependant ending on the line 'We should live like oxygen tanks, sucking breathe from the words each of us exhale, until our last breathe')

In all seriousness, the scene where younger Haruka is walking through the city with his mother but it keeps repeating until older Haruka pulls the younger one away might indicate an attempt to focus the happier memories of his parents (since this is also over the lyrics "Why is it breaking? Tell me why? Please don’t change If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”" which depict a worse scene) I think both his parents are still physically present but have become far more emotionally distant, not giving him as much attention, which exacerbates his loneliness from not having any friends his own age to talk to

And if one of his parents did leave? I think its likely his mother since she is shown disappearing out of his reach after the dog-incident (inferring she got angry/disappointed in Haruka anyway) This could also be where he got his necklace from: Its something his mother used to wear (although this is 100% a guess) and that's why its shown to be important to him

This one is just me, but i didn't realise until a rewatch that when Haruka is watching the younger him and the girl running together, the background has fireworks. Haruka mentions fireworks being a key memory to him so I wonder if this was one of the first/last times he got to make a friend...

On three separate occasions in the interrogation, Haruka mentions not liking animals. Despite this, he is depicted as sleeping with a rabbit plush and on his birthday art (I'd include that too but tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post, so here's a link) he is standing next to a giant blueberry and strawberry cake with two bunny themed biscuits at the side. Through my experiences of seeing Japanese fandom art on pixiv, sometimes rabbits are used to insinuate a character is cute and timid in fanart.

Meaningless details: Haruka sleeps with his necklace on; he sleeps on a bed and not a futon; at first I thought he woke up holding his plush's hand but his hand is merely next to the toy; and considering the state of the pillow and blanket, I wonder if he moves a lot in his sleep or if the is just because in this case he seems to be waking up from a nightmare about the dog incident...

Final note: I've spent so many hours writing this I don't remember if i was building up to any big finale or not but I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to add on in the comments/reblogs.

[sparkycinnamon]

Finally making an introduction post!

Thought it was the time to make an intro post, so:

Hi! I'm Pipes, though you can also call me Cheesy, Right, or Spark! I'm a non-binary autistic oriented aroace who likes reading, cartoons, drawing, and writing.

Pronouns (in order of preference):

They/them

She/her (only if we're close)

It/its

Xey/xem

Ae/aer

Fandoms (bold indicates a current hyperfixation/special interest):

SpongeBob

Object shows

Bugsnax

Kirby

Roblox

Minecraft (just the normal game, I'm not interested in any of the SMPs or whatever)

Amphibia

Gravity Falls

DuckTales (2017)

Big City Greens

The Ghost and Molly McGee (as you can tell I really like Disney Channel cartoons)

Cookie Run

My Little Pony (mainly FIM, but also some of the older generations)

Alphabet Lore (and some of the parodies of it)

The Jell-O Wobz

Dead End: Paranormal Park (up to season 1)

The Amazing World of Gumball

KaBlam! (particularly the Henry and June segments)

Hey Arnold!

Animator vs. Animation

The Amazing Digital Circus

Music artists I like:

I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Lemon Demon

Tally Hall/Miracle Musical

Louie Zong

Glass Animals

Set It Off

Caravan Palace

Diviners

Two Door Cinema Club

Maretu

Some other things I like (again, bold indicates a current hyperfixation/special interest):

Food (especially candy)

Retro commercials and snacks

Analog horror and ARGs

Bugs (especially ants and dragonflies)

Webcore/“old web” aesthetics

Worldbuilding

Different alphabets/letters/languages

Lost media (especially cartoon/internet-related lost media)

I have far too many AUs, and far too many OCs.

I'll block you if you're a bigot, pedo/MAP, or NSFW blog (I'm a minor). Just be a decent person and we're cool, okay?

Other stuff:

I don't curse very often, but if I do, it's probably because I'm really ticked (expect me to swear a lot in my vent posts too). Either that, or I’m doing it “for the bit”. I do reblog posts with swear words in them a lot, though.

DM me if you want my blacklist so you can tag stuff so I don't see it (I'll only give it to people I trust though)

As I said in the beginning of this introduction post, I am autistic and have trouble understanding text, so please be patient with me and use tone tags as much as possible! /gen

My rambling tag is #right hand rambles, my art tag is #look at my art boy, and my writing tag is #i write sometimes.

Other, less common tags I use are;

#right hand's attempts to be funny (for textless memes)

#right hand spitballs au ideas (for aus that don’t have names yet, aus with names will have a tag with their name instead)

#adventures in objectopia (for object oc stuff)

If you need something tagged or I forget to tag something for you, please tell me.

Also, I'm white and I really don't want to offend anyone, so if I say something bad, or I reblog something bad, please tell me! /gen

Please don't ask me to RP out of nowhere. /nm

This blog is SFW, but I may occasionally reblog posts that could be seen as suggestive. If you don't want to see that, please block the tag "suggestive".

I'm okay with adults interacting with me, but I'd prefer that you don't DM me if you're an adult unless I know you already/we're mutuals/I DM first.

All my posts are okay to tag as kin/id/me!

Other than that, please feel free to interact with me! I don't bite, I promise.