#The lies I’ve told are starting to deceive me fuck

[sillyfella2019]

About me because

TW: swearing

(just in case)

(you never know who reads this)

I quite literally do not have anything else to do 😔

Idk, here have my info:

name(preferred): Dex (you can call me by my account name though)

pronouns: He/They

mbti: INTP

age: I’m a minor, that’s all you’re getting.

my personality is weird as hell (separate info from the next few things), I swear a lot and I know a lot of unnecessary information on a lot of different topics (some thanks to ZackDFilms (YT)) I repeat a lot of sounds or words people say, I answer rhetorical questions and sarcasm (some people really don’t have the sarcastic tone, it’s not MY fault), and I will make random sounds while we’re having a convo (ex: ‘wdym?’ - ‘meow? Idk??’, ‘Think about life for a sec.’-‘*Random noise*’ *cue stares*)

Music taste: I listen classical music then the next song in my playlist is IT BOY, then ICK, then some angsty song, then MCR, then Malice Mizer (Ma Cherie 🥰🎀) (it’s crazy) 😭🙏

my interests are…all over the place ngl lmao 😭😭 I will make a list here:

-Pretty sure I had a Sandersides phase before I even made my tumblr account

Danganronpa 1-3 (part of the reason I loved Fontaine sm)

BSD (this shit made me realize how mentally ill I am, it’s wild 💀) (made me realize my humor is dark as hell too lol)

MTP (gay detective)

JJK

Dead plate

ALNST (my pfp makes it clear)

Pokemon (I have knowledge on everything up to PKM journeys, only till there.)

genshin impact (I am in desperate need of yapping someone’s ear off about Fontaine, PLEASE)

MXTX novels (MDZS, SVSSS, and TGCF)

FNAF (Thanks MatPat)

Possibly a lot of indie games MatPat has covered and some analog horror too

etc. (I’m probably forgetting something)

Yes I do keep all the knowledge I’ve learned for every fandom I’ve been in, how? I don’t fucking know, my brain has probably a trillion gigabytes to keep so many things 💀💀

I like drawing a lot, mostly traditional cause I can’t bring my computer everywhere, I read a lot too, reading Crime and Punishment because you can’t sleep is 10/10, it’s like free gossip for like 6 pages (yk, the guy who left his sick wife at home to go drink??)

I have a bunch of OCs and a WIP story (videogame plans in progress) (anyone interested in knowing about them??? Pls I swear they’re silly goofy 🙏)

I live in Mexico, first language is Spanish (obviously) and English is my second language. (my grammar teacher (for English) told me I should be in a harder English class, sadly there’s nothing he can do lol (I have bragging rights, ok?))

there’s a chance I’m autistic, though as much as I have done a lot of investigation it’s still like a draft thought, you can never be so sure.

Anyone who read this whole thing tho, what character do I remind you of?

[anonzentimes]

*guy who loves talking about despair disease voice* wait can we talk more about despair disease. i have so many thoughts on despair disease and esp how it pertains to nagito

i feel like when a lot of people first play/watch the games they see nagito as someone who lies to manipulate people, which while i can’t super blame them for thinking that way bc of how hajime tries to reconcile his conflicting feelings over nagito, i get SO frustrated when ppl call nagito a liar bc no!!! no he’s not!!! you’re falling for other characters’ perceptions of him!!! nagito almost never lies and when he does he’s either really bad at it (cough cough final FTE. “i got it all from a book” you are not slick buddy) or comes clean as soon as he’s achieved his desired outcome- it’s more bluffing than actual deception, and one thing he’s especially sincere in is his beliefs and admiration for the people around him. and the despair disease PROVES this without a doubt!!

ok. i know in-text the despair disease is described as “reversing people’s personalities,” but i’ve always interpreted it a little differently. ibuki isn’t the opposite of gullible, akane isn’t the opposite of a coward, and nagito isn’t the opposite of a liar. to me, it’s always seemed like the despair disease gives its host the trait they’d most hate to have— whatever trait would instill in them the deepest despair. ibuki hates conformity- stick her with a disease that makes her blindly follow whatever she’s told. akane hates showing weakness- force her into a state of constant crying. nagito hates the idea of deceiving his classmates- make him incapable of being sincere. this interpretation makes mikan’s disease make a little more sense too imo, since remembering her brainwashing isn’t exactly reversing her personality but instead literally filling her to the brim with despair. ANYWAYS.

nagito Actively Despises not being able to tell the truth. he hates the despair disease, he sees it as a complete waste. in the ult. luck and hope and despair mangas, we actually get to see some of his internal monologue right before he passes out, and he is In Hell. he’s pissed that he can’t serve as a proper stepping stone in his state, he thinks the whole disease is stupid, and he gets so frustrated about not being able to properly encourage the group that he Literally Starts Foaming At The Mouth ????? like if you EVER wanted undeniable proof that nagito is sincere look at the despair disease. it’s basically a roundabout truth serum for him and that’s a huge part of why it’s one of my favorite motives

sidenote i feel like the despair disease has a shit ton of analysis potential in general just bc of how it turns characters into what they hate the most!! i loveeee brainstorming what symptoms certain characters would have gotten were they to get infected. hajime especially. maybe he’d get a fawning disease where he starts praising everyone nagito-style (this would highlight their bystander parallels and also make hajime feel MISERABLE bc he fucking hates when nagito points out how similar they are lmao). or maybe he’d get an apathy disease that’d essentially izuru-fy him (wonderful foreshadowing potential there, not to imagine the incredible angst of izuru being the thing hajime would hate to be most in the world.) alas i am not a fanfic author so i will sit with my concepts but it is a wonderful daydream with any dangan characters i’d highly recommend it :]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!! I SCREAM IN UNISON WITH YOU I LOOOVEEE THE DESAIR DISEASE!!!!! MAN… I’M SO OBSESSED WITH HOW YOU INTERPRET AND ARTICULATED THE DESPAIR DISEASE💗💗💗 The Despair Disease is genuinely so good for analyzing I really do believe Danganronpa 2 Chapter 3 is the best Chapter 3 out of the franchise. I think the reserving of their personalities truly meaning the traits they would hate to have is soo good I’m eating up, sealing it in my heart, and using it forever such a delightful way to explain it. The interpretations on what disease Hajime would get is so fun, I’ve seen some people interpret him getting the honesty disease which is fun in concept but I don’t think it works as well as other ideas could, y’know? Your ideas for a potential apathy or fawning disease are really fun to me, I like the idea of the fawning disease tapping into how much of a realist he is and giving him the opposite attitude Lol. Thank you so much for sending this it’s so fun I’ll be thinking about this forever, I wish I was a fanfic writer aha! I really want to become a fanfic writer, soon with time I suppose. Thank you again for sharing your daydreams with me, you’re very right it does have a lot of analysis potential! :D

[breakerwhiskey]

122 - ONE HUNDRED TWENTY TWO

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Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.

[click, static]

Alright, I’ve had some time to calm down. Get my head on straight. And maybe I should stop broadcasting entirely, but now that I’m on the other side of the country, who knows, maybe there will be some people here. Maybe this will finally reach sympathetic ears.

Also, I’ve gotten pretty used to talking out loud into this thing. It helps me think. So.

Here’s where I’m at—I spent the weekend looking through all my notes of everything that Birdie has said and every weird thing that’s happened and I’m going to lay it all out—everything I know—and try to figure out how the fuck it connects, if it does at all.

[click, static]

So. Messages that Birdie has sent me that make me fucking angry:

Telling me to stay out of Denver because it’s a “collision point” and then refusing to explain what that means.

Telling me I was wrong about my actions not having consequences and then refusing to explain what that means.

Saying that their job was important, that they betrayed it, and that it hurt people and then, you know, not explaining it.

And here are the things I know about Birdie—or I think I know:

They’ve been in the same spot this whole time. They’ve never encountered anyone else. They’re pretty good with a radio, having gotten it to broadcast this far, they don’t have physical speaking capabilities, and they’re trained in Morse code. Though to be fair, I’m technically trained in Morse code by now, so I’m not sure how revealing that is as a biographical fact.

And here are the things that Birdie has definitely lied about: That they don’t know what happened.

[click, static]

I don’t know if you found out what happened between you first contacting me and us talking in real-time. But one of your first messages to me was that you didn’t know what happened. And then when we spoke, you said you did, but that it was too complicated to explain in Morse code. So which is it?

[click, static]

Of course there’s a chance that you’ve been working much harder than me at actually trying to figure out what happened and you did it, you figured it out, but…well, Occam’s Razor right? I’ve spent nearly half a year driving around the country, looking for people, looking for answers and, sure, I haven’t been scientific about it, but I must have had a better chance of stumbling across something than you, a person who seems to have been sitting by their radio nonstop for 6 years.

Then again, there were those weeks-long stretches where you didn’t contact me at all, so maybe…

[click, static]

No, the simplest explanation is that you lied. If I’m being generous, maybe you lied because you didn’t know if you could trust me and then, over the course of a few months, you decided you could. You decided you trusted me enough to talk to me and tell me the truth. But to what end? Why tell me you know what happened, if you couldn’t explain what happened? What would that accomplish?

And that’s such a huge thing to lie about—I mean, I’ve lied in these transmissions, I’ve lied to you, but nothing big. Nothing…consequential. I choose to just not say anything at all instead of telling a big lie. But that’s a big lie, Birdie. That’s an intentional lie—whether the lie was that early message you sent me or when we talked, whichever one it is, it’s a big lie. And it has me thinking…

You don’t make that kind of big lie unless you’re confident in your ability to deceive. That’s the kind of falsehood that’s spoken by an experienced liar, not an amateur. So it wouldn’t have been the only lie you told me.

But experienced liars don’t fuck up unless they start to lose track of what lies they’ve told. So if you fucked up when you talked to me and told me the truth—that you do know what happened—then, well Birdie, that tells me you’re losing track of the lies. Which means that everything you’ve told me—everything—isn’t to be believed.

Which puts me…well, if my intent here is to lay out everything I know that I’m pretty sure I’ve already failed. I know fucking nothing.

[click, static]

[ijustwant2write]

Reconnect-Finn Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @peakystitches​)

Masterlist

Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy​ @jenepleurepasbaby​ @amirahiddleston​ @bloodorangemoonlight @haphazardhufflepuff​ @mzcrazy2​

Requested by anonymous: ‘Hello! May i request an either tommy or finn shelby x reader? (Whicheverr one u think suits best) for this prompt i found: character A and B have been in a longterm relationship and nothing can get in between, until one day something does and they drift away. But then they reconnect emotionally and everything feels like the first time again (first kiss, first meal together etc) 🙏🏼💜 i love ur writing thank u’

Characters: Finn Shelby x Reader, Polly Gray x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Swearing, arguing, finance issues, drinking, fluff

                                    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Finn, is that you?" I called out from our bedroom as I heard the front door open. I tensed up when I didn't hear a reply, only to let out a sigh when I heard him giggling.

He was drunk again, it happened almost every week now. Tommy would have given him something important to do for the gang, and whether or not Finn succeeded with that task, he would go out and celebrate with his mates. I would sometimes tag along if I wasn't tired from the week of working, but after seeing our finances, I realised we needed to stop acting like teenagers and start saving wisely.

"Hello my gorgeous girl." he slurred out as he entered the room.

"Hello Finn." I replied as I received a sloppy kiss to my forehead.

He flopped down beside me in bed, taking the book out of my hands and throwing it to the floor. Finn wrapped his arms around me, snuggling into my lap. I took off his hat, stroking back his hair. He was cold from the brisk walk home, causing me to shiver.

“You should have come out tonight." he said.

"I got off work late."

"He kept you again?"

"No, I decided to stay."

"Why? You always say you're tired."

"I'm tired because I'm picking up extra shifts and hours so that we can start saving up for a house."

"I've told you, we don't need to worry about that. Business is good."

"Finn, we're not going to be given the money. We have to earn it."

"Tommy will help us."

"He might help but he won't give us a lot. And even if he did hand us a house, we've got to have enough money for the bills, furniture-"

"It will be fine."

"Finn, we've not even had our wedding yet!"

We had been engaged for half a year. We were wanting to be married sooner, but problems arose with the Peaky Blinders it distracted us both from it, especially since our lives were in danger. I desperately wanted to have enough money for the wedding and house, though it looked like it was going to be one or the other at this point.

"What's wrong with the flat?" Finn now sat up.

"Did you seriously ask me that question? There's only so much I can do to this dump to make it look somewhat liveable. It just doesn't feel like home."

"We'll get the money. Don't worry. Look, look," he took my hands in his,"we will get a house. I promise. And believe me, I want to marry you as soon as I can, there needs to be another ring on that finger. And I need to see my name at the end of yours."

I stupidly believed him. Those adoring eyes I once trusted had lied to me. Finn kept his promise for a week at max, soon breaking it. I didn't mind him going out with friends, we both needed to socialise, I just disagreed with the amount of times he was out and the amount of drinks he was buying each night. He would always offer to get the next round, and although he was a Shelby, the discounts didn't make much difference at the end of the night. I decided I had to go with him to ensure that our money wasn't being poured away, struggling to stay awake for those long nights, and making work even harder every day. It was impossible to keep an eye on him like that.

Usually Finn would tell me if he was going out that night so I wouldn't worry. That stopped too. My mind was never at ease. How did I know he wasn't lying in a ditch somewhere after a job gone wrong? Or what if he was trapped somewhere by a rival gang? I could only rest when he returned, which he always luckily did. I pretended to be asleep, trying to not push him away as he slipped his arms around me, cuddling me for the rest of the night. My patience began to grow thin. I was too scared to speak up about it, worried that we would just end up having an argument. However, I knew we would have to bring it up soon, because our money was only disappearing instead of increasing.

One morning when I was leaving for work, I noticed that the drawer we locked our savings away in was slightly ajar, meaning someone had unlocked it and stupidly left it open. Of course it had to be Finn, no one had broken in during the night. My eyes widened when I saw how much he had taken, enraged that he would think me so foolish. Why would he take the money without asking? What was he using it for?

As I stormed towards the shop, I heard whooping from men in a car further up the street. My face turned into a deep frown when I recognised the car, managing to catch a glimpse of the people in it. They hadn't seen me, and I had to make sure my eyes were deceiving me.

I didn't care about the looks on me as I burst through into the shop, making a beeline for Polly's office. I harshly knocked on the door, entering when she called me.

"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" she asked, a lit cigarette in hand.

"Where's Finn?"

"Off out with his brothers, why?"

"Where are they going?"

"To the races."

I scoffed, placing a hand on my head in defeat.

"Why? What's wrong with that?"

"He told me he would be in the office all day today."

"So? Things change."

"No, he specifically told me that. I never even asked about it. He made a point meaning he didn't want to risk me waltzing in. That means he's hiding something."

"(Y/N), they're only going to bet on horses today. They're mingling."

"They're betting today?!"

She stood, putting a hand on her hip."What am I missing here?"

"Pol, he's using money that we don't have! I need a car, I need to get to him."

"Look, even if my nephew is being the biggest idiot, it's a bad idea to go there."

"Why?"

Her eyes widened."Don't snap at me young lady."

"I'm sorry, I just, I just know he's going to be stupid with what little money we have at the minute."

Polly was silent for a few seconds, and I didn't know if she was just staring me out, trying to make me leave. Perhaps she didn't think it was anything to worry over. But it was to me. She surprised me when she went into one of her drawers, pulling out a set of keys.

"Come on. I'll get one of the girls to call your work, say you're sick."

I tightly clasped my hands together as Polly drove. I was furious, trying to think of what to say to Finn when I got there. He stole our money. He went behind my back, gambling away the money we worked hard to earn. I had never said it, but Finn had it much easier than I did. For one, he worked with family, and although I liked my job, the boss could sometimes be an arsehole; second, he earned a lot more than me, so he was the bigger breadwinner between us, but I worked longer hours. Yes, he was in a gang meaning he had more days where his life was under threat, but he seemed to be having a jolly good time anyway. Really, it wouldn't have mattered who worked longer or harder, or who earned more, it was still our money to spend on our house.

As soon as Polly parked up, I was straight out of the car. She quickly followed grabbing my arm and warning me to not get lost in the crowds. I couldn't make a scene, especially since there could be potential business partners or enemies about. I refrained from rolling my eyes, knowing she was right but also knowing that I would find it extremely hard to not scream at Finn.

Polly guided me to where the men would be, ignoring the shoving and shouting. I wished for her to walk quicker. We swiftly entered the posher boxes, almost stopped by a doorman until his accomplice shut him up. I even heard him whisper 'That's Polly Gray you idiot.', the one time I was glad we had a reputation. She only paused to scan the room for the boys but I spotted them first. Quickly moving past her, I couldn't stop my fists from clenching, seeing Finn joyfully drinking and laughing with his brothers only added fire to my fury.

"Finn!" I snapped, quickly catching his attention.

"(Y/N)?" he exclaimed, struggling to stand and clattering the plates and glasses on the table."W-what are you doing here?"

"Stopping you from spending our money like a fucking idiot! Where is it?"

"Oh, Finn boy is in the doghouse." John chuckled.

"Shut up!" I fiercely pointed at him.

"Where's what?" Finn brought me back.

"Our money!"

"I told you, you do this outside." Polly warned, shoving Finn in that direction, and I knew I had to follow him.

Luckily, we were left alone. Finn continued on, finding someplace we would be alone. Once we were in the clear, the distant roar of the crowds covering our conversation, I saw him sigh quietly, running a hand down his face when he realised what was coming.

"Where's the money Finn?" I asked, calmer but with a mean tone.

"Let me explain first.”

"Explain how you took our money without asking? How you just waltzed out this morning without consulting me?"

"Tommy said that there was a good chance, a very good chance that this horse would win, and I thought it would help us if we put our money on it. Imagine how much we'll have if it wins!"

"If it wins Finn, if! You're gambling our money, why would you do something like that?"

"Because you went on about not having enough money! And here I am trying to help!"

My mouth dropped open in shock."You really don’t see the problem here."

"No, actually, I don't." he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Finn, you stole money from the drawer! You then go behind my back and bet it away. Have you thought about what we'll do if that horse loses?"

"But it won't, Tommy said."

"And what if Tommy is wrong this time? Also, don't pin this on your brother, I know he hasn't even suggested this idea."

"I'm not-urgh!" Finn groaned."Why don't you trust me?"

"I can't trust a gamble Finn. I don't think you realise how many nights I've spent lying awake, worried that we'll never have enough for our own home, and thinking that you don't even care anymore."

"Of course I care. This is why I've bet the money."

"How is this not getting in your head?"

"(Y/N)," he took my hands in his, but I couldn't even look at him,"in a few minutes we will hear them announce the winner, and we will start jumping for joy when we realise how much money we're going to get back, and we're going to be so much closer to getting our home."

"Finn, I desperately want to believe that. But even if we do win, you're in deep trouble." I took my hands away from him, turning around. I couldn't even look at my own fiance.

On queue, we heard a man come over the intercom, it was muffled to me but I knew Finn was listening intensely. Glancing over my shoulder, I watched for his reaction, turning around fully when I saw his expression. We had lost. We lost all that money.

"How could you be so fucking stupid?!" I screamed at him, throwing slaps onto his chest."Why couldn't you just listen to me? I don't understand why you had to lie to me Finn!"

I broke down crying, shoving him away from me. My sobs were loud but I didn't care. Finn could watch, see how much he upset me. My heart sank at the thought of it all gone, Finn had left scarcely any money in the drawer back at the flat.

"I'm sorry (Y/N)." Finn pathetically said.

"You know how you always go on about your family never trusting you enough for the big jobs? That you never get to go out with them and help? This is why. Because you do things like this, you fuck everything up Finn. Fuck!" I wiped away my tears, even though more spilled out."You know I've always stuck beside you, but this is the last straw Finn. I can't be with someone who doesn't want to put effort into their future."

"What are you saying? (Y/N), I can fix this. I promise I'll get the money back, I'll-"

"How? That took us so long to build that up. And you were spending our money almost every night on useless drinking. I can't Finn, I can't live like that anymore."

He ducked his head, and I almost wanted him to say something. When he didn't, I knew what I had to do.

I took a deep breath before speaking."I'm going home. I suggest you stay at Polly's tonight."

"Let me take you home-"

"No!"

"What's going on?" Tommy suddenly appeared, he, his brothers and Polly approaching.

"Your nephew, your brother, just gave away almost all of our money betting on a horse. Not only that, but he took the money without telling me. That was money for a house." I angrily explained.

"Is that true Finn?"

Finn shamefully nodded.

"We can get you your money back (Y/N)."

"It's not about that Tom. He's lied to me. He promised me he wouldn't spend our money every week, yet he did. And then he takes our money without asking me about it first."

"I'll fix it (Y/N), I promise I will." Finn was begging at this point.

"Another promise that you're bound to break. I've had enough today."

"Let's get you home love." Polly said, putting a stop to this argument as she stepped forward, taking me under her arm.

Finn didn't come home that night. I didn't sleep. I was sat at the tiny dining table, staring at the ring on my finger, wondering what to do. It broke my heart to think about leaving him, but it also broke my heart thinking about how reckless he had been. Did I really want to be marrying someone who acted like this? Would he mature? My heart wanted to believe he would, but my mind kept telling me that today confirmed he wouldn't. That was one of the worst nights of my life.

                                     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I couldn't stand this job any longer. But it was the only thing keeping me alive. It was crappy work, the pay was just above minimum, enough for me to buy food, pay my rent and have the tiniest amount left over. Saving up money was hard when it was just you. Even after two years, I didn't have enough to consider looking at places of my own, or with less roommates. It was exhausting keeping up with these girls I lived with, there were 6 of us altogether. It was a big change when I moved away from Small Heath.

"You ready (Y/N)?" one of my roommates called out to me as I finished applying my lipstick.

"Just a second!" I replied, checking myself in the mirror.

It was the rare occasion that I was going out with them, the one time we could all go out together at all. I was looking forward to a few drinks, and although that sounded hypocritical, I realised that I had to have a night or two in at least a month to relieve myself of the stress I put upon myself.

We arrived at the small club we always went to, it had the cheapest drinks this side of town. We all shivered in the cold weather, walking as fast as we could to make it to the club. The warmth was very welcome, as well as the loud music that drew us further in. It was the usual routine, a few of us grab a table, the others get the drinks in, then we would all make our way to the dance floor. Hours passed, and I had to get away from the heat coming from the dancing, stepping back towards our table to get a drink. I saw my roommate stumbling in the direction of the bar, rolling my eyes as I went to help her, perhaps getting a drink whilst I was there. However, once I got closer, I stared at the man she was starting to flirt with.

"Isaiah?" I said as I got closer.

"(Y/N)!" he smiled, bringing me in for a hug.

"You two know each other?" my roommate asked, looking disappointed.

"He's an old friend. Just that, nothing else."

Isaiah let me go."How long has it been? Two years?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, two years. What are you doing here?"

"Business. Nothing dangerous though, you girls are still in for a good night. Especially you if you're good." he winked to my roommate.

"Is he...is he here?" my voice suddenly went shaky, and I felt almost completely sober.

Isaiah's playful nature dropped."Uh, he is. He's really misses you (Y/N). Hasn't even looked at another girl since you left. He's just not been the same." I wasn't sure how to reply.

"I can't not tell him I saw you. Imagine if he found out, he would be so upset with me."

"I know. I wouldn't want to hurt your friendship."

"Maybe you should see him. It might do you both some good."

"Or the opposite."

"He still loves you. Even if you don't feel the same, it could bring closure. But I know you (Y/N), I can tell what you're thinking."

"You were always annoying like that."

"He's out front, in the corridor. That's all I'm going to say."

I looked at him for a few seconds, trying to make my mind up."Well, this one is a handful, just so you know."

"I think I can handle her." Isaiah smirked.

"I was warning her about you."

I giggled at his reaction, walking away and leaving him in his natural habitat of flirting. But as soon as I turned around, my stomach dropped, nerves filling up my entire body. He was here. I hadn't seen him for two years, though I thought about him everyday. Would he look different? Did I look different? What was he going to say? What was I going to say? My brain didn't want to think of any words, maybe I was about to babble absolute nonsense to him.

Upon seeing him, my throat tightened, the cool air slapping me in the face; oh, now I was sober. He hadn't noticed yet, leaning up against a wall, hands in his pockets. Wow, he had changed. His boyish charm was still there, yet he had matured into a handsome young man. It was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again. I was just happy that he would be seeing me in my finer clothes rather than catching me after work.

Urging my feet to move, I almost sighed at how small my steps were. I really was scared. Isaiah had said reassuring things, yet I couldn't even walk up to him. It was too late to back out now, especially when he finally looked up at me. I froze on the spot, not knowing what to do. Finn seemed the same way.

"(Y/N)." he said, I only just heard it.

"Hello."

Hello? Really, that's all I could come up with?

He pushed himself off the wall, coming to stand in front of me, though not too close."I...I can't believe you're here."

"I could say the same about you."

"This is where you've been living then."

I nodded."It's not too bad. I mean, I'm on a night out."

"Who are you with?"

I knew he was wondering if I was with a man."My roommates, I live with five other girls."

"Oh, that's a lot."

"Yeah, it's the only place I could afford."

"I hope it's nice."

"I shouldn't complain. A lot better than other places."

We both knew we were making an awful attempt at small talk. I was sure he had so much to say like I did, we just didn't want to dump it on each other in case the other ran away. It was like we were teenagers again, awkwardly trying to think of something to fill the dreaded silence.

"I really want to talk about us (Y/N)." Finn said.

"You do?"

"I...I just have so much to say to you. I can't do it now, but what about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow, um, yes, yes tomorrow works for me. It's the weekend, so I'm not working."

He smiled slightly."OK, good. I'll come get you. Um, I need your address."

"Oh, here." I dug around in my purse, thankful there was a folded up tissue and a pen, it was good to be prepared. I wrote down my address, handing it to him.

"I'll pick you up at one. I would want it to be earlier, you just never know what time you'll be back with this sort of thing."

"I understand Finn, I did live this with you once."

I barely slept, even when we stumbled in at three in the morning. Luckily I hadn't seen Finn, Isaiah or any other Peaky Blinder that evening, no doubt settling business behind the scenes. Despite the lack of sleep, I was wide awake the next morning, up before everyone else who were nursing their hangovers, trying on multiple outfits in a desperate attempt to look nice, but not as if I put too much effort in. The clock was rolling onto one o'clock, and my heart was beating much faster than usual. I was about to make my way downstairs when something glistened on my small vanity. Should I take it? Yes, I would.

Finn knocked on the door, and I waited a few seconds before opening it. We smiled as we greeted each other, not going in for a hug or kiss on the cheek, something I was worried about. That was the first hurdle jumped over.

"How was your evening?" Finn struck up a conversation as we walked further into town.

"Much better than yours I presume?" I smirked. He chuckled."Yeah, didn't exactly get to enjoy the music. Small fight, nothing we couldn't handle."

It was strange hearing about Blinder business again."Well I'm glad you're all safe."

"I thought we could go out for lunch, saw a nice place round here."

"Oh, that would be lovely."

"We don't have to, if you don't feel comfortable."

"No, no, no, it's not that. It's just a lovely thing for you to do."

We both bashfully smiled, luckily the restaurant was just around the corner. I had expected nothing less when we walked into the fancy place, not because I thought I deserved it, but because Finn wouldn't be seen anywhere else. His clothes were even more tailored now than they had been the last I saw him, indicating that the gang had been doing well, more money was coming in. We both immediately picked up our menus as we sat, hoping someone would speak first. Our eyes glanced over the top of them, it was as if we were on our first date again, only this time in a better establishment.

"You look beautiful." he said, still hiding part of his face.

"Thank you." I blushed.

"I'll never forget what you wore when I picked you up for our first date. That blue dress you just bought, with a matching purse, and those heels that you hadn't practiced walking in. Well, you used that as an excuse to latch into my arm all night."

I smiled, placing down my menu."It was a good plan, wasn't it? And I did struggle in those heels, I just didn't want to embarrass myself."

He copied me."I liked holding your hand all night."

"What a sweet sentiment."

"I mean it. And I mean this date. That didn't sound right, but...what I'm trying to say is that I want to make it all up to you."

"You do?"

"Yes! I really didn't expect you to leave. I mean I did, but I didn't want to believe that. I didn't want to believe that I had been so selfish that I couldn't even see how much I had hurt you." 

“That was the hardest decision I ever made. Most days I battle with myself whether I made the right choice. All night I kept making deals with myself. If you came back, I would hear you out, and if it was good enough for me I would stay. But then you didn’t, so I said to myself ‘Give him another hour.’. An hour went by, and I said the same thing to myself. That went on for the whole evening until I found myself angrily packing my things. Even then, I sat by door on top of my suitcase for another hour or so.”

“I thought you just got up and left. I didn’t realise how long you waited for me.” he sighed into his hands.“I’m such a fucking idiot.”

I could tell he was full of regret. Although it sounded sadistic, I was glad that he was upset when reflecting on our past relationship, it meant he realised his mistake. On the other hand, I hated seeing him sad. I took his hands away from his face, hesitantly reaching into my handbag to pull out the engagement ring I kept.

His eyes widened.“You still have that? I looked everywhere for it when you left, guessed you took it to sell.”

“I won’t lie, that was my intention at first. But it meant too much to me. It was like selling a piece of my soul. I kept it hidden, I didn’t want to risk any of the girls seeing it, they would just ask too many questions.”

I kept my eye on the beautiful ring as I spoke, slowly twirling it around to catch it twinkling in the light.

"I had such a hard time picking that out. I knew what you wanted, but I had to get it right for you. I'm so glad you kept it."

"I did try to sell it. I was stood outside of a shop for ten minutes debating with myself. It would have helped a lot for the deposit on the room, but I couldn't do it."

We were silent, both staring at the ring. We used to do that a lot actually. Finn would take my hand and hold it up as we laid in bed together, both giggling as we watched it glisten like it was in present times, before squealing at the thought of us being married to each other. I constantly fiddled with it when he was off on business, a habit which never wore off, even now; whenever I was nervous or worried, I would automatically do the same action, just without the ring.

A waiter awkwardly interrupted us, and I hurriedly put the ring back in my bag, sharing an embarrassed smile with Finn as we ordered. Once he was gone, I quietly sighed, looking out of the window. We were in such a nice part of town, so many ladies in beautiful dresses and men in smart suits strolling around.

"Are you...are you OK for money?" Finn boldly asked.

I was a little shocked by that.

"I don't mean anything by it. I just want to make sure you're OK, I would hate for you to be struggling, if you were."

"Uh, no, no I'm fine actually. It's not as generous as my old wage but it keeps me alive, I can live with the bare necessities."

I could see him itching to say something else, to keep the conversation going. I wasn't sure if we could go back to the serious topic we had before. However, I also wanted to bring it back up, it felt like we needed to talk about us.

"How's the family?" That's all I could come up with.

"They're fine. Everyone is the same. Well, they're not, they're a bit more serious nowadays."

"They weren't in the first place?"

He smiled."I suppose they were. Tension is the right word, tensions have been rising. Tommy's taking on a lot more, Polly knows all these secrets that no one else does, Ada is rebelling against anything Tommy says, Linda is still annoying, Esme and John have been popping kids out left, right and centre. Arthur is still crazy."

"Sounds like business as usual to me."

"They miss you too."

"Do they?"

"Yeah. Almost as much as me."

I cast my eyes down as butterflies rose in my stomach.

"I heard nothing else for the next few weeks after you left. They all told me what an idiot I was, that I was an extremely reckless, stupid and immature boy, and that I had let the best thing in my life get away from me. And they were right. I knew all of that already."

"I...I don't really know what to say right now."

"You don't have to say anything, let's just enjoy this meal, no more of that talk."

The nerves making my stomach flip built at that. What if we had nothing else to talk about? What if it was too weird to dive into our separate lives? I didn't want to sit across my ex-fiance, painfully and politely smiling through forced conversation.

The spark was still there.

When the waiter had returned with our drinks, we were already deep in talk about what had been happening in our personal everyday life. We were non stop, even as we ate through dinner. The waiters had trouble catching our attention each time they checked on us. I was deep in those eyes again, the ones I always dreamed of seeing. We were laughing hysterically, not at all acting how we should have in that establishment (there were a few eye rolls from other patrons). As if time had gone by in a second, the bill was slipped towards Finn, though I still reached into my purse.

"Are you mad? No, put your money away, I'm not taking it." Finn stated as he carelessly threw down some notes, surprisingly taking my hand in his and guiding me out of the restaurant.

I was tense as we walked, and I saw a flash of realisation in Finn's eyes as we made it outside. Both looking down at our interlocked fingers, Finn broke away, clearing his throat.

"Sorry, force of habit."

Hesitating, I smiled up at him, lacing our hands together again."These are new heels I'm breaking in. Need help walking in them."

He chuckled, pulling me closer as we walked down the street. We were silent, feeling like kids in love again. I couldn't deny that my feelings were still strong for Finn, I missed him dearly. At first, part of me had been wary of all this, wondering if he really had good intentions, or just thought he could get a quick shag in from an ex before he left; but the effort he went through, the things we spoke about, trying to heal old wounds, Finn had matured and he was wanting to fix this. I wanted to fix this, my heart was aching for my old life with him. 

“We’re not done yet, are we?” I timidly asked.

“Not unless you want it to be.”

I instantly shook my head.“No, I’d like to stay out for longer.”

“Even though you’re struggling in your heels?”

I smirked.“I know a nice place we can sit down.”

I took him to the local park, it had a huge lake with benches dotted around, luckily it wasn’t busy, there was somehow a hint of privacy here. We sat down close to each other, hands still entwined. 

“You still hungry?” I asked.

“Hm?”

I dug into my purse, producing a bag of sweets I had bought the previous day. I laughed as his eyes lit up, taking one without even asking. I took one too, reminiscing on how we used to do the same thing as kids. It seemed he was thinking about it too.

“Just like the old days.” Finn said.

“We spent way too much money on sweets back then. It’s a wonder we still have our teeth.”

 “Wish I got out of that spending habit. We could be married and in our new house by now.”

“So you never wanted to move on? You didn’t give in to those girls wanting to be with a Peaky Blinder?”

“Never. I couldn’t. I couldn’t even fathom being with anyone else, it was always you (Y/N). Did you date?”

“No, I felt exactly the same. Which is why I was angry at myself for a long time. I was supposed to be upset with you, not still in love.”

His head whipped round to face me.“You still love me?”

My mouth was still open, unsure how to answer. It seemed I didn’t have to as Finn leaned in, placing on hand on my cheek as we kissed. Instinctively I kissed back, placing my hands on him where I could, hearing the bag of sweets fall to the ground and spill its contents. This kiss was needy, the type of kiss you gave your partner when you had missed them, when they had been away for a long time; and although we had our hands on each other, our touch was still gentle.

“Get the ring.” Finn breathed out, our lips still almost touching.

I carelessly got it for him, heart beating extremely fast. He took it from me, pecking me on the lips one last time before standing up. He straightened out his suit, took a deep breath and got down on one knee. I was just as emotional the first time he did it.

“(Y/N), I know I messed up everything in the past, I was careless when I should have been supportive and helped to build our future. I learnt from those mistakes, and I really, really want to go back to how we were. I need you (Y/N), I love you so much. There aren’t enough words to express how much love I have for you. Will you marry me?”

I didn’t need to think about my answer. I blurted out a yes, waiting for him to slide the ring back on my finger before throwing myself onto him. We stumbled back onto the ground, our arms around each other as we laughed and cried. I believed him this time, I truly believed him. He put in the effort to show me his changes, he wanted to fix everything. I wanted things back to the way they were with my man, and we were back to building our future and living the rest of our lives together.

[zodiyack]

In Regards Of My Ex

Pairing: Niklaus Mikaelson x Female!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst

Words: 2,125

Summary: Niklaus believes deceitful gossip from Aurora De Martel about his wife and takes his anger out on her. As a result, Y/n leaves and finds comfort with Cami and Davina, who call in backup to confront the big bad hybrid about his big bad dumbassery.

Note: I’ve been in a fluffy mood as of recently HOWEVER this idea was sparked when I was feeling angsty™ so...sorry but also not sorry?

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace-writes​, @fandom-puff​, @simonsbluee​, @darling-i-read-it​, @jenepleurepasbaby​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​, @dpaccione​

Masterlist | The Originals Masterlist

Part One. Part Two. Part Three.

“That wife of yours has been sneaking around with my brother. Breaking more hearts than just yours from what I can see.”

“I suppose some people just can’t see the worthiness of the king in front of them. If I were your wife, I wouldn’t be like Y/n. I’d be committed you and never give you fib tales like her.”

“You are aware that Y/n has been plotting something nefarious against you, aren’t you?”

“I know you wanted to marry someone just as sinister as you, but perhaps you should’ve checked where her loyalty lied before tying that knot.”

Aurora fed him stories such as these, and many more, each conclusion of the lies spewing from her mouth something appalling about Y/n. At first, Klaus didn’t listen, but as her stories grew worse and worse, the faux feeling of treachery intensified. He knew it was unwise to believe anything that came from the spiteful, jealous woman...yet, his distress caused pain to strike his heart and he yearned to know the truth.

Although, in this case, the “truth” wasn’t actually very truthful.

She often told him things like that Lucien was going after his girl for the second time, first with her when she had her chance and now, his beloved wife. Klaus merely brushed it off with an honest “he tries and I’ll stake him first chance I get”. However, Aurora wasn’t finished yet. She continued to lie and deceive Niklaus about the woman who she accused of replacing her in his life. The envy and loathing Aurora felt for Y/n was her motivator, but the woman was too far up a wall to need one in the first place.

“Are you telling me the truth?” He growled, keeping his eyes trained at the wall in front of them.

“Why do you ask?”

“I need to know I can trust your bold claims. So answer me, Aurora, are you telling me the truth?”

That smug little grin, masking her deluding ways. “Of course, Nik. I would never lie to you.” Her welcome into his trust was unsurprisingly taken advantage of  when she traced her finger down his arm and then brought her hand up his abdomen slowly. Klaus shoved her invasive hand off of his chest though, giving her a warning glare.

“Thank you for informing me.” That was all he said to her before he made his way out of the room in the most hurry she’d ever seen him in.

Aurora smiled conceitedly. Her plans were on the right track. Whilst Nik didn’t have the same feelings for her now as he did way back during the beginning of their story, but Aurora was determined to stir those feelings from the dead as vampirism did him and her.

She drawled under her breath, “I will have you again, Nik.” her mischievous smile grew wider, “I will have you again, and nothing can stop me this time.”

“Blasphemy!” Niklaus shouted, veins popping out from the rage coursing in his system. He neared Y/n again, the slight fear in her eyes drawing a pause for a second, guilt stilling him, but his anger took the reigns once more.

“It’s not blasphemy! I would never lie to you!”

“The falsity of your deception proves otherwise, love.” He smirked, raising his brows as to question if she would battle his words yet again. Proof was what he needed, but his vexation had drowned out all logic, including his ability to see the proof he wanted so desperately.

“What deception? What falsehood do you believe to have come from my mouth? When I married you, I vowed to be truthful and loyal. You of all people on this fucking earth should know I always keep a vow.” She narrowed her eyes at him. The betrayal he thought he felt was temporary and fabricated, but hers was 100% genuine and seething within her.

“You say that but if you were indeed an untrue person, your answer would be no different.”

“Why do you insist on proving me a traitor!? What has pushed you so far past your breaking point that you actually accuse me, your wife, as a viper?”

“Don’t you pretend like you don’t know the malicious schemes you’ve plotted against me or the affairs you’ve had with men who obviously aren’t your husband!” He couldn’t stop himself now; “I’ve loved you for centuries and you decide to be disloyal and ill-natured?!”

“Says who?!”

“Says Aurora!” After the words flew from his mouth, a tiny part of him realized just how fucked up it sounded. Just how fucked up it was that he believed her over his wife, but the hybrid was stubborn. He was too stubborn to change his belief or admit his fallacious accusations were unjust without proper evidence.

Y/n knew Aurora and Klaus’ story. Her knowledge of the ancient and long forgotten tale made her reaction thousands of times worse. “Aurora? ...Huh. You choose to believe her- that manipulative, lying bitch, over me? I thought you knew me better than that.” She wiped away a rebellious tear, “I thought I knew you better than that.”

Disappointment hung heavy on her features, drawing a feeling of shame from Klaus. Y/n glared at him one last time, her knitted brows and vaguely teary eyes evidence of the heavy-heartedness that overwhelmed her. She bit the inside of her mouth and shook her head disapprovingly before turning and walking out the front gate-doors of the Mikaelson mansion. Klaus was alone.

The sounds of Davina’s giggles echoed, Cami sitting in front of her and chuckling heartfully as well. Their laughter died off when they noticed Y/n sulking through the front doors of Rousseau's. The place was empty aside from the two women having drinks and a friendly chat. Then Y/n entered and found a seat. The atmosphere, once cheery, suddenly felt melancholy.

“Hey, Y/n, you alright?” Camille’s smile was wiped from her lips. She felt empathy for Klaus’ wife and, as a friendly person in general, she felt overcome with the need to help solve the complication that made her feel so down in the dumps.

“I’m-” She was ready to say fine, Davina and Cami knew it, but she broke down in tears before she could even shape an “o” with her lips. Both women jumped up immediately and sat in the seats beside Y/n. Though Davina couldn’t stand Klaus, she actually liked Y/n and seeing her hurt sent searing pain into her own heart.

“It’s okay, hun,” Cami wrapped an arm over Y/n’s shoulder, her other hand rubbing her other shoulder and arm comfortingly, “take as long as you need, there’s no pressure, no rush, none of that. We’ve got you.”

And so they did. The two women took turns holding Y/n as she cried, and before long, she was ready to talk. She explained Klaus’ anger and the source of their fight, the source of the fake news he’d lashed out because of. Davina and Cami shared a glance when Aurora was mentioned, both women already hating her but equally despising her even more now. Y/n sobbed, crying into Cami’s shoulder about wanting Klaus to just believe her. She said she loved him and because of that, she felt pained by his lack of belief in her.

“He’s not worth it if he can’t see how wrong that decision was-”

“I know, but he’s my husband. I vowed to love him always and forever, to never leave his side, and I intend to keep that vow...so long as he doesn’t do anything to fuck it up any more than he already has.”

The sun began to sink into the dark, not fully quite yet, but still creating it’s beautiful array of colors as a final act before disappearing for the night. About halfway through Y/n’s rant, Cami called Hayley and gave her a summary of what she knew so far. A promise of arriving as soon as she could was returned on Hayley’s end before the line went dead and Cami returned to the table.

Still not entirely after sunset yet, Hayley swung open the door to Rousseau's, catching Davina and Y/n off guard. Despite being the one who called her, Cami stayed seated. Y/n and the witch beside her exchanged confused expressions.

“Are you just gonna sit there or are you gonna tell me what the hell I need to do to Klaus?”

Y/n chuckled softly, wiping away more of the salty tears, before standing and walking over to Hayley, greeting her with a hug. “You don’t have to get involved if you don’t want to-”

“No, trust me, I have to and I want to.” She pulled away and dropped her warm smile, giving Y/n the most serious look she could muster. And as she was Hayley Marshall, it was effortlessly pretty fucking serious. “Now, I want you tell me everything,” the mom voice came out to play, “don’t leave a single detail out. Then, we can discuss what we’re going to do about it.”

“Where is he?”

Rebekah had been informed by the pissed off werewolf and bartender everything that had happened, resulting in her becoming equally upset. She welcomed Hayley inside the gates and nodded her head up the stairs. “I haven’t said anything to him, so you’ll be lucky enough to catch him by surprise.”

The werewolf nodded in understanding before pacing toward the stairs irritability. “Thanks.”

“Make it hurt!” Rebekah’s voice faded away as she walked out the gates, leaving Hayley alone to find Niklaus.

Atop the stairs, she found no sign of anyone whatsoever, but that was only on the outside. If Klaus happened to be inside on of the many rooms, she wouldn’t waste her time searching. Instead, she waited, leaning against the railing and doing a breathing exercise Y/n taught her during one lonely full-moon. 

After minutes of waiting, Klaus finally walked out of a door and started for the stairs. It wasn’t longer than a minute before he stopped in his tracks and realized he’d missed something. He shot a double take in Hayley’s direction, a puzzled expression quickly finding way to his face. It seemed as though he was contemplating whether or not her unexpected appearance was a good thing or a bad thing.

When he seemingly couldn’t make up his mind, staring a few minutes longer, a heavy sigh left her mouth. She was ticked off with him before, but after hearing everything Y/n had to say, she was furious. No, more than furious. The blood boiling rage was incessantly pounding in her head, all she wanted was cause destruction and pain. A rare thing for her.

But now was not the time to lash out, not yet. She inhaled and exhaled, Hayley shifted on her feet and looked around before turning her head to Klaus and beckoned him over to her with a come-hither motion of her index finger.

“What is it?”

She looked at him, flabbergasted that he’d even ask a question as stupid as that, “What is it? What is it, Klaus?” Hayley slapped him, the man doubling back and blinking in astonishment. And not the good kind.

“How dare you lay your hands on me, you-”

“So you’re gonna yell at me now?” She crossed her arms, and unimpressed look resting upon her face. “You know, personally, I think Y/n is better off without you but she’s broken and has been bawling her eyes out nonstop for hours on end, drinking away all the pain that you’ve formed into a stake and shoved into her chest.”

He stopped, fury fleeing his face as he experienced what felt like her words body-slamming into him.

“And guess who’s been there to pick out the splinters?” She poked her finger against her chest over and over again. “Me!” Her eyes never left his, telling him just how sincere about this she really was. “Me! Cami- even Davina!” Hayley threw her hands in the air, emphasizing the shock that came with the information. “Rebekah’s on her way over now, and I’m sure Elijah will see to it that he comforts his sister-in-law as much as he can, but you?”

“I-”

She cut him off, temper still unquenched, thirsty for vengeance. “Let me finish.” She growled. Hayley looked around the room in attempt to calm herself, but it was to no avail.

“You got her into this mess. I just hope you get both of you guys out of it.” She flicked her eyes back to his, giving him her infamous dead eyed glare. “I really hope you do. And you better do it soon. Because I won’t be there to pick the splinters out for you when she realizes she doesn’t need your sorry ass.”

[pretend-writer]

Down Below (Chapter 78)

Summary: After being sent down on Earth with the other prisoners from the Ark, Y/N Reyes faces series of events and learns about survival. With new things happening around her, she is now starting a new chapter in her life.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader

Word Count: 2k words

Warning: swearing, mention of death and violence

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

Couple of McCreary's criminals stayed behind with the guards, with a help of Indra watching over them. Meanwhile, I've decided to interrupt Russell with a surprise visit.

I insisted I'd go alone, the less people the better especially knowing that Russell wasn't quite the violent type; There was no way he’d lay his hands on me, I had no worries about him at all. He had killed Clarke because of his greed, I highly doubt that he'd kill more of us out of anger.

Some people disagreed with me, not surprised. Of course Bellamy, Josephine and Murphy wanted to come with me, Jordan wished to tag along too. Delilah being sacrificed for the prime hit him pretty hard, I didn't blame him for wanting to confront him.

As we barged into the lab, we were greeted with a startled look on all of their faces. Simone and Emori instantly looked upset, Abby looked like she was dying for her next fix.

'How in the hell did you guys escape?' Simone cursed, stepping up in front of me.

'It's not very hard, you know. Now would you guys be so kind and give us back the blood you made.' Murphy took out his hand, motioning them to hand it over.

Approaching fast, Emori reached for John's hand. 'John, what are you doing?'

'We can't let them continue to deceive and kill their innocent people, it's not right. Now they got us involved too.'

'Just hand us the damn blood.' I walked over to Simone that had it in her hands, 'Haven't you guys lived enough already?'

Simone chuckled, 'You don't get it do you?'

'What, killing people thinking their sacrificing themselves to false Gods? Of course I don't get it, I'm not a homicidal bitch like you.'

She reached her hand out, smacking my cheek while holding the blood in her other hand. I couldn't react and get her back as Bellamy was quicker than me, grabbing Simone's collar. 'Get your fucking hands off of her.'

'Let go of my wife!' Russell screamed at Bellamy, trying to reach over her but was suddenly distracted by Murphy.

He had snatched the blood off of Simone's hand, laughing as he hugged it in his arms. 'You guys are awfully slow.'

'Do you really think that's a smart move, Murphy?' Russell rolled his eyes. 'One word and the guards will storm in here and shoot you without a warning.'

'You shoot me, I drop this bad boy and the blood is destroyed. You really want to do this Russell?'

He huffed, turned to look at Emori and back to John. 'You fucked everything up, you know? I trusted Emori when she said you were with us.'

'That's your own fault for trusting her, I never agreed to this. I honestly just want you dead.'

'What do you guys want from this anyway? Why do you care what our community is doing? These people believe in us, believe that the Primes store peace and prosperity to Sanctum.'

How can that come out of Simone's mouth? Saying that their community chose to sacrifice their lives for a God that they've made up? 'They sacrifice themselves because they believe in the lies you told them. I care because you're killing your own people.'

'Can we just compromise? Agree to disagree and live on with our lives as we did these past few days?' Josephine tried to be the middle of man of this, siding with her family as well us siding with us.

'I thought I made a deal to compromise with Russell but he chose to betray me instead.' I looked at Josephine, understanding where she was coming from but hoping that she will finally realize that what her family has been doing is completely wrong. 'This outcome is all your father's fault. I didn't want any of this to happen.'

'Whatever happens to me and my people are none of your damn business! What we do does not concern you at all!' Simone raised her voice at me, veins tracing down her face as she seemed angry as ever.

'Now that you're getting us involved, it certainly is. We don't have to make these stupid blood for you, you know that right?'

Murphy's POV;

Y/N and Simone have been yelling at each other for quite sometime now, I'd want to help her but I wasn't in the position to defend her. Besides, she could handle herself well.

Simone's facial expression changed as she heard the words come out of Y/N's mouth, it was as if she had triggered her.

'I've had enough of your attitude already.' Simone screamed as she charged at Y/N, punching her in her stomach.

Before I was able to jump in to help, Y/N grabbed her arm, twisting it to the opposite direction that had Simone scream even louder. Turning her whole body around, she then kicked her back which had her falling next to Russell.

As Simone fell to the ground, she breathed. 'What happened to no violence?'

'You fucking punched me in the gut, I'm not just going to stand there.'

Just as I was about to make a snarky comment at Simone, Abby had snatched the blood from my hand. I quickly turned to her, 'What are you doing?'

Abby wasn't listening and instead ran out the lab. All of us trailed her from behind, ending up next to the airlock chamber. She had locked herself in the chamber, attempting to float herself and the nightblood with her.

Her hand was on the lever, her other arm tightly holding onto the nightblood. Y/N approached closer to her, trying convince her from the other side of the airlock. 'Abby, let's rethink this okay?'

'Don't fucking tell me what to do!' Abby yelled, tears running down her cheeks. 'Why do you care anyway, they lose the blood and you get to see me float myself. Win-win situation for you, I'd say.'

Y/N huffed, shaking her head. 'Don't be fucking stupid. I don't agree with you nor did I enjoy being threatened by you at the bunker but I don't want you dead, Abby.'

'I've lost everything, Y/N!' Abby started to sob, 'Russell killed my daughter, Marcus left me. I have nothing left, what do you know about loss?'

'We've all lost something, Abby.' I approached her also, standing next to Y/N. 'You guys sent us down to Earth when we were only kids, when we barely understood right from wrong. A lot of us lost parents, not that I really cared but some do. I understand that you're angry and frustrated but don't tell us we don't know how you're feeling.'

Y/N had never fully told me what happened down at the bunker, all I know is that Abby had done something to her, something that she will never forgive her for. She never told me the whole story, said that she wanted to forget everything because it was so awful what happened.

Even with all the altercation between her and Abby, Y/N was still trying to stop her from floating herself out of the airlock. I know how much the bunker had messed her up, I was honestly surprised that she was willing to help Abby.

‘Why are you trying so hard to help me? I’m the one that’s responsible for your misery right?’ Abby looked straight into Y/N’s eyes.

‘Like I said, I don't want you dead. I'll never forget what happened but we can always work our way to forgive. We’ve all worked our way through hell, we can get through this too.’

I admire Y/N’s strength, which are one of the reasons why I loved her so much. Watching her fight for Abby made me feel stupid about letting her go, being dumb enough to not say I love you back to her.

Abby nodded her head, ‘You’re right Y/N. You’re right. I’m sorry.’

She opened the airlock and slowly walking out as Y/N rubbed her hand on Abby’s back, trying to comfort her while she continued to sob.

'Maybe it's time to end all this, dad. We've done enough already.' Josephine said, surprisingly. Perhaps all of this have overwhelmed her, finally understanding that it wasn't worth the pain they were causing.

Russell inhaled dramatically, rolling his eyes as everyone had their eyes on Y/N and Abby. ‘Don't be a fool, Josie. It's never over.'

'If that's how you feel, so be it.’ Abby suddenly shoved Y/N to the side, pulling Simone from behind her and yanking her into the airlock chamber with her. Bellamy, having the faster instinct, caught Y/N before she fell to the ground.

‘Let me out, Russell! Help me, please!’ Simone banged on the glass from the other side as Abby locked the chamber again. ‘Anybody, help me out please!’

‘Simone!’ Russell looked at Bellamy, Jordan and then to me, panic all over his eyes as he tried to look for help. ‘Please get my wife out of there.’

Abby shook her head, ‘It’s too late now.’

Y/N pushed Bellamy’s arms out of her way, running towards the airlock as she screamed. ‘Abby, don-’

She was too late, Abby had pulled the lever as if she was committed to do so. Abby seemed as though she was ready to float herself, I doubt that Y/N would've convinced herself otherwise.

Bellamy pressed the button to close the airlock, comforting Y/N as she looked distraught. It was selfish of me to feel jealousy towards Bellamy, when Y/N needed someone to lean on when one of our people had died tragically. I couldn’t help it, I was mad at myself for fucking everything up.

Josephine and Russell on the other hand was emotionless, Simone was gone faster than the snap of a finger. They’ve probably haven’t gotten the grasp of any of this, since they were not familiar with the floating method.

‘What... did you guys do...’ Russell mumbled, staring into space as if he was staring at a ghost.

‘Seems like Abby took your wife for taking her own daughter away from her. Fair trade I should say.’ Jordan said angrily. I didn’t think he had it in him to say such harsh words, even though we all know we were all thinking the same thing.

Josephine shook her head. ‘We did a shitty thing, I know. But was that really fair? How dare you say that, she murdered my mother!’

‘Just how you murdered our friend! Just as how you murdered Delilah, she didn’t know the whole truth about what she was sacrificing herself for!’ Jordan took a step toward Josephine, screaming his lungs out. ‘Your family has been doing this for years, there’s no excuse for that!’

A sudden loud bang echoed, Jordan falling hard onto the floor without saying another word. Josephine screamed, looking at her father with a gun in his hand which was aimed towards Jordan.

Josephine froze into place as the rest of us ran towards Jordan to see if he was alright, but it was too late once again. He was already bleeding to death, bullet going straight through his chest.

'None of you guys move or I will shoot again.'

Everything had clicked; I really should've had killed Russell when I had the chance. I could've protected Jordan, I bet Monty was ashamed of me and all of us that it ended up being this way.

Or maybe Y/N was right, if we just accepted the trade, no one would end up getting hurt. Sure, Russell would still live but he wouldn't be an issue as long as he stayed in Sanctum.

None of this would've happened if I'd just stopped Emori from this, while we were marching back to the ship. I could've said something before we left Sanctum. There were so many chances where I could've stopped this and I did nothing.

And now Russell is unpredictable, all hell broke loose and he had gone insane. His lover was gone, forever and there was no going back. Abby and Jordan were gone and we might lose more of our people, even lose the love of my life because of my stupid choice.

[jemmahazelnut]

Beard

Summary: Laxus grew a beard.

Link: AO3

Beard

Laxus glanced at Freed, who was blatantly staring at him after abandoning his reading of the Sorcerer. He had been throwing strange looks at him all morning, and if at first Laxus had ignored them, now he could no longer do it.

“What’s up?” Laxus asked as he spread butter on the bread.

“You haven’t shaved for a week,” Freed said, continuing to observe him with an indecipherable expression. Laxus felt his cheeks warm slightly and hoped that his beard would cover any redness. He looked down at the bread again, taking more butter and spreading it on top.

“So?” he asked vaguely irritated, just hoping Freed wasn’t thinking too much about it. Which was improbable, he was Freed after all. He thought about the silliest things, of course he would do it with that too. It wouldn’t take long to realize that Laxus had started growing a beard a few weeks after the day Freed said he found bearded guys charming.

God, Laxus felt ridiculous. He wouldn’t get his friend’s attention by growing a beard. And since when did he change based on what others thought?

“Nothing, it’s just weird. I’ve never seen you with a beard,” Freed said with a shrug and looked down at the magazine again. His lips were curled in a slight smile and Laxus blushed even more.

Damn, he understood.

“The razor broke,” he lied in a snarl.

Freed looked up at him again, frowning.

“And in a week you haven’t had time to buy a new one?”

“Exactly,” Laxus stubbornly insisted, nervously grabbing more butter and continuing to spread it on the bread.

“You could have asked me or Bickslow,” Freed pointed out calmly and Laxus got even more nervous.

“I don’t use other people’s razors,” he retorted irritably.

“Ok,” Freed said. His lips still curled in that annoying smile as he began to leaf through the magazine again.

“And it’s none of your business anyway,” Laxus added.

“Ok,” Freed repeated.

“And then I saw that I look good, so I’ll keep it,” Laxus added in a snarl, grabbing more butter.

“I said ok,” Freed said calmly and looked up. “If you put more butter that bread will become inedible”. Laxus looked down at the bread, irritated by that too. He had been so busy defending himself that he hadn’t noticed how much butter he had spread. It was already inedible. Annoyed, he threw the bread aside and took another slice.

“Fuck it,” he muttered and noticed Freed’s clear smile again. That made him mad. “Anyway, it’s much better not to have to shave every morning, I save time,” he added.

Freed raised an eyebrow without taking his eyes off the magazine.

“Do you know that keeping a long beard actually takes more effort? When it will be longer you’ll have to buy special shampoos, wash it every day and I also think it’s annoying and…”

“Fuck you,” Laxus snapped.

“I was just making some considerations,” Freed said calmly.

But Laxus had had enough, he got up from the table and started to leave the kitchen. Freed put a hand on his wrist, he had a small smile, this time not in mockery.

“You look really good, but you’re one of the few men who’s naturally charming even without a beard,” he said softly. Laxus was silent for a moment, the tension leaving his body as he stared in surprise at Freed and thought back to his words. He couldn’t help but feel some complacency and had to struggle to keep a smile from spreading across his face.

“I know,” he just said and walked out of the kitchen. He didn’t even care anymore if Freed was smiling in amusement, Laxus had got what he wanted and nothing could ruin his day. Not after Freed said he was charming as he was. Freed hadn’t said he looked good, nor that he preferred him with a beard, he had clearly said he was naturally charming. It was a true and sincere compliment.

“I told you he’d grow a beard if you said so,” he heard Bickslow say from the kitchen and Freed’s light laugh was enough to make Laxus nervous again. Had he been deceived?

“I don’t know, his razor could really be broken,” Freed replied.

“I bet 2,000 jewels it isn’t,” Bickslow laughed.

Laxus thanked his fine hearing and hurried to the bathroom. He would have destroyed that thing before the two bastards checked it out.

[vegalocity]

Happier version of Tripsun, time travel nonsense where LMK Sun Wukong meets post-journey Sanzang with General 6?

Dialogue starters

6. “Have you been taking care of yourself?”

ah hell yeah

--

Every time he’d be allowed to share moments like this with his former Master, Sun Wukong would say to himself that he could never forget how at ease he could feel. How warm his chest was and the faint sweet shivers that would crawl up his spine and make his fur fluff out could never fade.

And yet every time it was allotted to him again it felt like new.

Perhaps because of how long it had been since their journey, but those random times his Monkeys would inform him someone was nearing the mountain, and when he’d poke his head out in bird form and see that golden light, made his gut jolt and heat to flood his face and neck as though he were some adolescent with a crush.

Of course he’d roll out the welcome wagon (just modest enough that Tang Sanzang wouldn’t chide him for being a showoff even after everything, but could easily be passed off as his Monkeys being as excited as he was to welcome the monk back to the island) and lay out as much food as he could get away with without again, his master scolding him for extravagance and sparing him only a few small knowing smiles over the feast of mountain fruits.

And they’d catch up of course, over food, over tea, and then just sitting somewhere pretty, His master would extoll him the stories of his new students, comparing and contrasting them to his first merry band of disciples (usually a coy smile hidden beneath a sleeve as he said someone or another was just as hard to handle at first as he had been) but a strikingly proud gleam in his smile as he praised students he wouldn’t dare speak aloud to their faces to avoid the building of ego) And Wukong would extoll the current drama of his monkeys and how this or that dispute was brought to him over plums or some other such simple yet silly thing. Truly the stories he had left to tell weren’t near as extravagant as the battles he once went on five hundred years ago, but his master always responded to the comings and goings of Flower Fruit Mountain with as much interest and immersion as he would the mightiest of battles.

And then came the moments when the stories finally ran dry and the two were allowed to simply be in eachothers presence, usually spent meditating on his master’s part while Wukong simply lounged about or read or just sat quietly with his master, enjoying the company in a way the outside world had grown far too bright and fast and loud for.

But this visit was different.

He’d woken up on the mountain, which was strange granted they were li upon li away (Kilometers, they use kilometers now) and his Monkeys were rushing up to him shrieking in fear and panic, hooting and hollering and demanding his attention to an assumed intruder.

He’d been suspicious of course, he’d anticipated anything, the calabash, an illusion, something that would REALLY need his truth seeing eyes (using them had started giving him wicked headaches; his power was so close to gone) but the golden light had already faded when he came outside, ready to fight-

And his eyes fell upon a familiar figure on the sandy shore.

And then he could only hope this was an illusion, as the idea of somehow being transported back home right in time for Master to put himself so close to the danger of the Lady Bone Demon again made his hackles rise. So despite the pounding headache that started the second he summoned the power he gazed around them with golden eyes, gliding over his master’s buzzing cicada wings, his monkeys peering at him curiously, and focusing his gaze to the city-

-where there was neither the silhouette of the skull nor the grid-like patterns of an illusion’s edge. Nor even the city itself.

There was a town, sure, but not a city. A town that had been in the… sixteen hundreds or so? About a century after he’d sealed the Demon Bull King away and dropped in on master to tell him he was considering retiring, that he’d be on his mountain if he needed him, and he was always welcome if he wanted to visit.

And about a century after that, Tang Sanzang had taken him up on the offer. And there he was.

This was the first visit. The throbbing pain in his head proclaimed this as not a dream, the golden vision proclaimed this not an illusion or a trick. This simply… had happened. He had replaced his (slightly) younger self for a time, and this was where he was. The first time.

Maybe this wasn’t for him so much as it was for the others, being given a past version of himself with his powers still in tact, Maybe his past self could protect them all in a way he no longer could.

His monkeys were giving the monk a wide berth and he watched him look around, normally serene expression slightly crumpled as he looked for a path up the mountain. At this point he could easily appear there with a flick of the wrist, but his master never believed in the easy way (except when it came to riding Longma for the entire journey, but he bullied him enough about that as is)

He called a couple of his monkey generals to him and gestured to the beach. “We’ve got a treasured guest here boys, bring out some of our best fruits! The monk drinks no wine so our most potent teas as well!” The two chittered between each other and saluted him. Ah… he missed when his monkeys could much easier take orders.

“Why if my eyes don’t deceive me! Is this the virtuous Tang Monk I spy? The carrier of the Tripitaka himself? Why if any demon consumed his flesh it is said they’d become immortal!” He crowed, and watched as his master quickly covered his mouth with a hand, suppressing a laugh before schooling his expression back into the unimpressed line.

“It seems as though I've wandered to another mountain full of dangerous demons.” he stated, monotone and dry, but playful grin quickly betraying the tone. “If only I had some gallant disciple to protect me from the oncoming dangers”

Sun Wukong tumbled from the trees and gave a mock bow. “Say no more virtuous monk! No demon worth their salt can stand a fight against I, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven!” there was a pause.

And then his master’s laugh was all he heard. It took him a second to join in, taking a hairdsbreath too long to enjoy the sound, but soon enough he was escorting the monk up to his home.

He had barely been able to wait to tell his Master about Xiaotian, and yet here he was having to avoid the boy’s name entirely while he searched to remember stories and drama from the monkeys four hundred years ago. He mentioned briefly that he was considering taking on a successor but hadn’t decided on it yet. His master told his own stories and He found himself possibly enjoying it a bit too much, Master had only recently passed by his thousand year mark of being immortal and he had still not quite gotten the hang of it yet. All the same he was doing his best and it was nostalgic to watch him try so hard to maintain what came easily to him in the future.

Then the stories ran dry and he gestured for his master to follow him, and reached his favorite spot on the mountainside, it overlooked the town that would soon become a city and they’d have the best fireworks. He didn’t share that information with master, but it didn’t matter, just his presence was enough.

But before he could vanish into the ‘somehow always like new’ feeling, Tang Sanzang turned to him with a worried eye.

“Have you been taking care of yourself?” It was a question he didn’t remember being asked on that first visit, one that took him aback.

“What do you mean, Master? I’m fine.”

“Bad Monkey, don’t bother lying to me, you keep wincing as though you’re in pain and you can take beatings that would make mountains crumble into ravines! You keep rubbing at your fur as though there are wounds that are still healing beneath when it takes so much just to pierce your flesh! Was your fight with the Bull King really so intense that your wounds act up even a century later or are you concealing other things from me?” damn those perceptive eyes. He didn’t USED to be perceptive, he used to fall for basically every demon trick!

Then again, he probably wasn’t doing too great at covering up the lingering wounds on his body either.

“I’m fine master, I’m sure everything will be back to normal when i’ve rested some.”

Well that was the exact wrong thing to say as he watched the Monk’s face pale. “Have I been keeping you from rest? Oh, you fool of an ape you should have told me!” Tang Sanzang turned to face him properly and for a moment Sun Wukong’s brain short circuited entirely as he placed soft hands on either of his cheeks to cup his face. “I can return at any time! If you’re injured you shouldn’t feel pressured to remain in my company!”

“I want to be in your company.” It came out in a way he wouldn’t have been able to mask the adoring warmth to, no matter how hard he tried. “Master, I enjoy nothing quite as much as I do our quiet moments together.” He had to go visit him himself upon returning to his time, he’d forgotten just how much he could miss the monk once again.

Tang Sanzang huffed and it seemed like that had at least turned his upset into more garden variety aggravation. “Bad monkey…” He shook his head, and in the dim light of sunset it almost seemed as though his master’s cheeks turned a pink shade of their own before he brought his hands down to take Sun Wukongs in his own, and stood. “Well if you feel so strongly about that then clearly I’m going to have to see to your recovery myself.” The monk looked off to the side and a small smile came with a featherlight chuckle. “How strange, a near reverse of how things once were between us.”

He chuckled as well at the irony and watched his master’s grin widen. “Indeed. Well, if you insist, I shall submit myself to your fucking fretting, baldy.”

Now THAT got a real laugh. and a soft 'Language!' between chuckles.

He’d get summoned back to his own time when Past Him was done doing whatever heavy lifting he’d gotten too weak to be able to handle no doubt. But for now he didn’t see the harm in enjoying the peacetime as it lasted.

--

Send me stuff

[teamsarawatshusband]

Day 7 - My Favorite Actor

I’m late again, I’m so sorry. But here we go with day 7! And, I’m gonna be a good girl and for once not talk about CQL, even though Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo ARE my favorite actors, but there is also this other guy who 100% deserves to be named on this day:

Gun Atthaphan

And here’s why...

The thing is, he’s... SUPER VERSATILE and a FANTASTIC ACTOR. Usually you see him in tv series, or movies or in interviews or whatever, and you think, “Heh, what a cute little guy.” Because he looks totally underage and is always at least one head shorter than all the other guys around. And they’ll treat him like the cute little kid as well. Like in this pic here (I don’t even know where that’s from, but that’s what he usually looks like):

However, looks are so deceiving, he’s definitely older than you’d guess. He’s currently 27 and almost everybody he works with refers to him as “P’ “ because he’s one of the oldest GMM25 actors.

And, while he usually looks cute and innocent and does play a lot of cutesy teen-targeted roles that make use of this quality,

he also totally rocks the psychotic, insane roles. For example he’s a psycho killer who murders his entire family in the Blue Hour. And he also didn’t shy away from taking on his role in super independent movies such as Bittersweet Chocolate (I’ve watched it and I still don’t understand what really happened in that one, but he basically gets pimped out to people and gets high with another guy in a bathtub)...

...and its sequel Playboy and the Gang of Cherry, which... won an award at a porn festival (because, yes, it is porn). Before you ask, no, Gun has no part in the porn (unless you count the scene where his film-mom masturbates right next to him - thankfully he does not participate). Anyway, it is just a super weird and completely fucked up movie if you ask me. And Gun plays a guy who is willing to kill just about anybody in this one.

Do I recommend these movies? NO, they are definitely not worth watching. Super weird stories, super confusing - and I usually like artsy thought-provoking movies, but those are just... no. Unless you want to see Gun acting in a different kind of role, and trust me, he does shine in those, maybe even more so than in his better known roles. He really sells the craziness. Which, I mean... not many could do. It’s super impressive and that’s why I mentioned those roles even though I do not like the movies in the slightest.

I have a feeling that he picks his roles not by overall story or chance of success, but rather based on if he likes the people he works with.

Anyway, so, if you wanna see a bit of a mix of cute and crazy Gun, I recommend the Gifted where he plays a guy with a literally split personality. Seriously, great show, not BL though.

And if you want to see him in a good show, without the crazy but also great acting, I highly recommend Theory of Love. In which he suffers so much, omg there are so many tears, but it’s so good and he is so amazing in it. Like, seriously, if you haven’t seen that series, go and watch it RIGHT NOW.

If you don’t believe me, watch this scene here from episode 1, starting at 1:06.

In case you wanna know the context: Khai (Off Jumpol) cancelled a friend date with Third (Gun) claiming to have family obligations. Third, who has been in love with Khai for a long time, believed it but then a friend told him that it was probably a lie and Khai cancelled because he wanted to be with a girl. Third goes to the mall to check if it’s true, and Khai is nowhere to be seen, so Third ends up getting something to eat before heading home. Then, he bumps into Khai who is with a girl, and it’s clear that Khai has indeed lied to him.

This scene really shows what a great actor Gun is, because he has almost no lines and it’s such a small moment and brief interaction. He just stares at Khai in realization, and when Khai wishes him a nice evening, he just nods and lets them walk away while fighting tears. I have never before seen anybody bite into food while portraying a broken heart so perfectly that it hurts to watch. I don’t know guys. I just think that Gun is an amazing actor.

[marshieee]

We just changed

Timeskip Osamu x fem! Reader

Warning⚠️: angst

Part 6

A/N: this is where i get in lmao😂, thank you again to this angel @iis4d for proofreading this❤️ imma be watch jjk and make u fic don’t worry

Am i the pathetic one? Or you? I want my love to change...

It has been two months since that awful night, since that last heated argument and the last time you saw him face to face.

You’ve been doing fine unlike the past month, trying new stuffs and focusing on yourself. You got a part time job as a tutor so that atleast helped the two with the bills, futakuchi and aone was helping you with all their might which you definitely appreciated.

Futakuchi didn’t mentioned that he met your ex, it wasn’t that important so why would he? He’s still keeping his promise more like a declaration to osamu that he’ll make sure that you’re gonna be ok, you’ll be fine under his care and he plans to keep it that way.

“Oho~ what did you just say? You’re going to tokyo?”

You rolled your eyes at the irritating remark from your cousin, as much as possible Futakuchi wanted to volunteer on going to tokyo on your behalf again, but you insisted.

“Yes i am and don’t worry tokyo is big it’s not like I’m going to bump to my ex anytime soon”

That’s what you thought, you were at a shopping district trying to buy cheap things that caught your attention and to be honest it’s not like you’re gonna use them anyways but hey wasting money is fun.

But your attention was averted to a certain girl, you would have just ignored her but no, something caught your attention and it was the person who’s she with.

And without any second thoughts your feet unconsciously went up to them and now, now you are infront of them.

“Can we help you?”

“Um yes uh can i talk to you for a moment?”

They looked at each other before turning to you, before her partner was about to say something.

“Sure, baby can you wait here this will be quick i promise”

“Alright then”

She dragged you to the restroom which was miraculously empty, you don’t know what’s going on your mind yet you were to focused on wanting to talk to her.

“So? What do want to talk about?”

“What happened to you and osamu? Did you two broke up?”

It was a bit sudden but certainly you caught her off guard by those questions.

“Ahh~ so you’re the girlfriend”

She had an amused smile plastered on her face as she scanned you, pursing your lips you hesitated to answer nevertheless you still did.

“Yes but—“

“Hold on judging your from your expression it’s ex girlfriend now huh?”

You nodded slowly, she just scoffed and the way that she looks, she looks a bit offended.

“Right before anything else I’m Aj”

She offered her hand which you awkwardly accepted with a forced smile.

“Y/N, nice to meet you”

“So what was your question again?”

“Did you and Osamu break up?”

“We weren't even dating in the first place”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me”

Shocked as you try to process that one sentence she just said. They weren’t dating? How come? They were just fine the last time you saw them, they even look like they were.

“You two...weren’t dating?”

“No.”

“How come-“

“Ah so you saw us? Figured.”

Aj sighed, she was expecting that you’ll eventually catch them red handed, she was surprised that you hadn't lashed out on her already.

“Osamu and I were just fuck buddies, no strings attached.”

This was confusing to you, they were so intimate, you assumed that they were dating behind your back. Aj caught up with the expression on your face and immediately knew what’s going on.

“We met at the bar, he approached me and started flirting to which I flirted back of course...”

She clicked her tongue and looked away, it was clear that she was irritated talking about that.

“I’ve always wanted to meet you, you know.”

“What?”

She looks at you with guilty eyes, was she guilty about stealing Osamu from you? Does she want to apologize to you? You never blamed anyone for this, especially not her.

“I... I didn’t know Osamu had a girlfriend”

This left you dumbfounded, so she never knew about your existence? You should have expected something like this because it hurts hearing something like this from her.

“When we met at the bar I had asked him if he was seeing anyone, of course if he had said yes, I wouldn’t be flirting back, I would have immediately said no, I’m not that kind of a person who’s going to fuck someone that's already in a relationship heck even someone that's married! I’m not that fucking low.”

You could tell that she was serious, frustrated even. You just stayed silent waiting for her to continue.

“He told me that he was single.”

Aj mocked the word single as she rolled her eyes remembering that horrible memory.

“So I flirted back as i never knew that he had a girlfriend of...?”

“S...six years”

And with a scoff Aj sarcastically laughed, unbelievable that asshole cheated on a girl he’s been dating for six fucking years?! What a joke! What a fucking joke!

“This is the worst am I right?”

“Yeah”

“So..anything else? what do you want to know?”

“How long have you been...fuck buddies?”

Aj was hesitating if she should answer that question or not, either way both are painful options so she just choose to answer your question.

“Two months”

Two months, he’s been cheating on you for two months which means those I love you's and kisses were already shallow, those hugs and I miss you's was never genuine.

“Two months...I see”

“I’m sorry”

“No don’t be, it wasn’t your fault”

“But-“

Aj chose to shut up, this is not the right time to argue if she was at fault or not since you were trying to process the information she just gave to you.

“Just awhile ago you told me you wanted to see me..why?”

“Well that’s because I became aware of your existence”

“Someone told you about me, who?”

“I don’t know who but he was tall and got this slanted eyes.”

The first person that came into your mind who fitted Aj’s description.

“Rin”

“He came to me and told me about you.”

It was the same day Osamu left her apartment early in the morning.

“How can i help you?”

“Leave Osamu alone or just don’t involve yourself with him anymore”

“Um excuse me?”

Whoever this man is he got the nerve to say that to her early in the morning.

“Ok mister whoever the hell are you, what’s your relationship with him anyways? Why are you telling me to not get involved with him anymore?”

Before suna could react AJ suddenly gasped.

“ARE YOU PERHAPS G—“

“No I’m not gay! And no I don’t like Osamu in that way! I’m just.........a colleague”

“Huh then can you tell me why did you say that earlier?”

“Because Osamu has a girlfriend”

“What?”

And then suna told her everything, right after that she decided that the next time she and Osamu will meet, she’ll end whatever things they had.

Apparently when she and Osamu met again, Osamu was also thinking the same thing.

She looked at the man infront of her clearly didn’t have the energy to even look at her.

“So you have a girlfriend”

That’s when osamu’s eyes shots at aj, he did consider the possibility of aj knowing about you but he didn’t expect that she would have known this early

“How—“

“So you were lying?”

“Aj..”

“You were right?”

“Yeah”

Aj pushed her hair back and clicked her tounge, unbelievable fucking unbelievable! So she was fucking someone who’s already taken? Great! Fucking great.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“....”

“Oh now you’re not gonna answer?”

“Alcohol...”

“Oh yeah? You were pretty sober to me that time osamu”

He avoided his gaze,

“Ok sure let’s say you were DRUNK at that time....how come you still kept it a secret for two fucking months?”

“I..i—“

“Oh! So you were playing with me? Sure i fuck everybody but i will never fuck someone who’s in a relationship osamu and you FUCKING know that”

“Yeah i do”

“Then why?!”

“I...i don’t know”

Aj scoffed,

“You don’t know? You don’t know? Hahahaha BULLSHIT I don’t believe that you did not know, that's bullcrap osamu”

“I was just caught up in lust and—“

“Fuck you”

Osamu lowered his head to avoid her glare, right..fuck him and his life he deserves this.

“Let’s end this bullshit osamu”

He nodded in agreement.

“Yeah...you’re right”

Aj was about to leave but one last time she turned around to face osamu again.

“Just one more thing before I go”

Aj instantly slapped Osamu hard on the face, Osamu on the other hand didn’t do anything.

“Asshole.”

“I know.....I’m sorry.”

She couldn't believe that she was deceived by some jerk, she never really wanted that to happen if only she had known about Osamu’s relationship.

“Thanks to that jerk my trust issues are way worse now”

“Tell me about it”

Aj patted you on the shoulder and gave you a small smile.

“I’m sorry that happened and I’m glad i got to talk to you”

“Thank you for telling me Aj”

“Might be too late though but you did deserve to know the truth."

You just nodded and returned a small but genuine smile, you were both victims of the same man, she didn’t do anything wrong, she just knew nothing.

“Funny huh?”

“What is?”

Aj looked at you with a small smile.

“We’re both been lied to by the same guy”

“Victims of the same guy”

“Yeah...”

You two stood there a couple of minutes before AJ turned to the sink and started to wash her hands.

“Well i think I already told you what you wanted to know.”

She started to wipe her hands then looks at you.

“I’m glad you broke up with Osamu, you deserve someone better”

“Thank you, you too.”

“Oh darling hahahaha...I’m not planning on finding the right person yet.”

“O-Oh?”

She gave a wink then turned her heels and walked out leaving you all alone, you heard her shout.

“TERUSHIMA! BABY!”

You were relieved that she’s doing fine after all of that, you saw your reflection and frowned.

“Good for her, I guess.”

Well it’s just two months no wonder she’s alright already unlike you, you need to cope with the lost 6 years of relationship.

‘You’ll be alright' you mindlessly reminded yourself

“I’ll be fine”

Part 7

[sdmnluvs]

Home Town Glory- Minishaw

Disclaimer!! I know that Simon is in a very happy relationship with Talia! It’s just for entertainment purposes and to let me practice my writing. This is also posted on my Wattpad!

28 years old and he misses home more than ever. That's why he's walking the streets of Hemel Hempstead at quarter past 11 on a Friday night.

It wasn't his plan when he woke up this morning. But he had fucked up, told Harry he loved him and when Harry just stared at him he fled the flat in record worthy time.

Got back to his own flat with ignoring Harry's missed calls and texts. Grabs a bag and packs a weekends worth of clothes as Jj enters his room confused.

"You alright there Simon?" He asks dumbly as the taller runs to the bathroom to grab his toothbrush. "I-I fucked up, going home for the weekend!" He says, pulls out his phone to call an Uber. He doesn't care if it's expensive, would spend every dime in his bank account if it meant he didn't have to look at the pity his friends would throw him when they found out what he had done.

"Did something happen with Harry? Did you guys break up?" Jj asks shock evident in his voice. Everyone was sure that they were a stable couple. Maybe looks really can be deceiving.

"I need to clear my head for a while Jide, if Harry comes please don't tell him where I am," Simon says before grabbing his bag and leaving Jj standing in bedroom. Heard the door close and the younger doesn't know what to do.

But he listens to what Simon said. When Harry shows up half an hour later with tears in his eyes it takes all of his might to say that he doesn't know where Simon is. Says me might have gone to visit Josh.

It's evil really, Jj decides when Harry leaves his sitting room with a look of determination on his face. He's sending the poor boy on a wild goose chase for what? Jj doesn't even know what happened between the both of them. For all he knows Simon could be in the wrong here. He had said that he fucked up.....

But by the time he comes to the decision that he should ask Harry what happened the brunet is long gone and he curses to himself. Feels even worse when he realizes that Josh will probably send Harry to Tobi's to check, then Tobi will send him to Randys and Randy will send him back to the flat.

Simon calls him 2 hours later. He's sat in his old room and trying not to cry. "So what happened?" Jj never did have the best patience, Simons surprised he's waited this long.

"I overreacted I guess," the blond sighs. "I told Harry that I loved him. He just stared at me for a straight minute. I couldn't deal with it Jide so I ran. I ran as fast and as far away as I could. Sure I only made it about 27 miles away from home but I couldn't deal with the pity when I told you. I just thought, it's been a year and I've loved him for long. But I guess that it was too soon".

Simon explains it all and Jj listens. Doesn't interrupt just let's Simon talk and it feels nice. Once he's finished talking Jj comforts him. Tells him to go for a walk even though it's 8pm and the sun is going to set soon. Also tells him that Harry definitely loves him back. "He was probably shocked Simon. Give him time. Just go relax, hey go to that park you used to drag me to every Sunday!".

And Simon follows his advice. Tells his mum that he's going to pub to see a few of his old friends. He doesn't need her worrying about him anymore than she already is. So he heads out. Goes for a walk around the town.

Meanwhile Jj sighs when he hears the door knock again. Knows that it's either Josh about to give out to him for sending Harry round his when he knew exactly where the blond was because Tobi had already called him and gave out to him. Or it's Harry back, probably just as deflated as he was this morning.

Opens the door and he's not shocked to see Harry stood in front of him. Bit more shocked that Ethan is stood with him. Arm wrapped around the youngers shoulder. He's smiling sadly and Harry's a puddle of tears.

Jj opens the door wider and rushes both of them in. They all sit down on the couch and Harry won't let go of Ethan's arm as he re-tells the story of his day.

"I-I was shocked Jide, I didn't expect him to say it. I called him back, must've called his name 20 times but it was too late. He was gone. Cal wouldn't let me go until I had told him that happened. I never got the chance to tell him that I love him too. I got to yours as fast as I could. Then you told me to go to Josh and he wasn't there.

Freya convinced me to have a cup of tea and some breakfast. I didn't want to tell them why I was there but you know what Freya's like. They gave me some comforting words and then Josh said that he might be at Tobi's. So I went to Tobi's but he wasn't there. I stayed for a while, talked to Tobi to calm down.

Our last resort was that he was at Randys. But he wasn't. Randy made me eat again, told me that he'd probably of gone back to the flat by now. But that I should maybe leave him until tomorrow. I agreed and was heading home but I couldn't face it. The thought that I'd lost Simon forever. Like our relationship had started and ended in my flat.

Ethan was the closest person to me at that stage. Told the taxi driver to turn around...," he trails off tears falling faster and harder. Ethan throws a comforting arm around him and finishes the story for the younger.

"I tried to calm him down but it was no use. That's when I realized that maybe big man knowledge, strength, Integrity would know where Simon is by now!" Ethan says his eyes cold and narrow when he says Integrity and Jj knows that he's in for it.

He loves Simon he really does, he's his best friend but Harry's sat in their living room crying an actual river and Ethan's glaring at him as much as to say "Tell him the truth or else".

"He's away home for the weekend. I'm sorry Harry, I promised him I wouldn't tell you," but Harry isn't even mad. He lets go of Ethan for the first time since he entered the flat and hugs Jj as tightly as he can.

"Jide please, we have to go. I'll do anything, I'll, I'll-"

Jj stops him, the least he can do is drive the three of them to Hertfordshire as an apology to Harry. Even though it's 10pm and he has a meeting at 8am tomorrow. The things he does for his friends.

So here Simon is. Quarter past 11 on a Friday night. He had actually popped into the local pub. Met a few of his old friends and downed 2 pints. Laughed and laughed and laughed as they re-told childhood stories. Listens as they catch him up on everything he had missed the past 8 years not living at home.

Sure his mum had kept him up to date and he had come home every so often but he'd never found the time to catch up with old friends. Looks around the room and wonders if he had never left what would life be like?

Would he be sat here with the same group of friends every Friday night making memories to last a lifetime. Would Jide be KSI or would he be sat here right next to him. Would he of met a nice girl from the town and be married already. Would he of made memories?

Thinks and remembers that he's made memories to last a lifetime. He's met people, he's met his friends, he's met Harry. The love of his life and suddenly it's all too much. The walls of the pub are closing in on him. He thanks them for the laughs and memories but he's gotta go. Promises them that he'll come home again, with Jj this time and they'll make even more memories.

He looks back and smiles seeing them all doubled over in laughter over something one of them had said. He wants to say that he escaped but there was never really anything to escape. Everyone that stayed is happy. They're all content with their lives. And so is he. He took a different route that's all.

Left the pub and heads off in the direction of the park Jj had mentioned. He had wanted to leave it for last. Let's his mind wander as he wanders around the streets.

Passes by a group of teenagers shrieking in laughter, empty bottle of vodka in their hands and he has to smile. Because that used to be him, running through the same streets when he was younger. Drunk, young and free.

He's so engrossed that he almost walks into a woman. She asks if he's lost because she's never seen him around here. He shakes his head, tells her that he's not lost, just wandering around home. She leaves him be and he keeps going.

Arrives at the park and heads straight to the field. Lies down and watches the stars. Let's the day wash over him and he can't help but smile as he remembers the first time he ever went star gazing was with Harry.

Jj knocks on the door. Simons mum opens the door and she's so happy to see Jj. Welcomes him inside but Jj asks if Simons around. She can hear the desperation in his voice and tells him that he went down to the pub to met a few of the lads.

So the 3 of them leave. They enter and nobody bats and eyelid at them. Jj instantly spots the group of people that Simon should be with, it's just, he's nowhere to be seen. Swears under his breath as he approaches the table.

Taps one of the boys on the shoulder and he turns grinning. "When we told Simon to hurry back with you we didn't mean this soon!" The man laughs and stands up to hug Jj.

He laughs weakly "it's really nice to see you James, but do you have any idea where Simon is?". The man now known as James to Harry and Ethan shakes his head. Explains how he left 20 minutes ago, adds that he looked like he had been doing a lot of thinking. Jj thanks him and they leave,

"So we're back to square 1?" Ethan asks as Harry lets a sob rip from his mouth. "This is all my fault, I shouldn't of been such a prick today," he cries as Ethan hugs him.

"It's ok Bog, let's just head back to his, he'll be home-," Jj starts but then stops. He has a shit eating grin on his face. "I know where he is!".

They all pile into Jj's car once again and 5 minutes later they're pulling up to a park. "Simon used to drag me here every Sunday, I told him to visit here when I was talking to him earlier as a joke," Jj explains as they exit the car and head to the field.

And that's where they spot him. Lying in the grass eyes closed and mouth turned upwards in a smile. Harry walks closer as Ethan and Jj hang back.

"Si?" Harry asks shyly and the body shoots up. Looks around and all air leaves his body because Harry is inching closer to him with a nervous smile on his face. Simon can't take it, not whilst he's at home, in his safe place.

"Harry, please not-," but Harry cuts him off. "Simon please, just listen to me I beg. You don't understand what I've done to get here!". So Simon stays quiet.

"Si I was shocked when you told me that you loved me. Ever since I met you I was convinced that I'd never be enough for you. I was just a 17 year old kid with insecurities that would've drowned me when I first met you. But you, as cringy as it sounds you taught me how to love myself. I was finally in the shallow end when I moved in with Cal and Cal and I started drinking a lot, when the drugs started.

But you were there. Every single time I relapsed you where there. On bad nights that I was tempted you made me watch a shitty movie with you. And even though I hate movies I watched them with you. You supported me when I came out. And then you kissed me when we where in Vegas for Jides fight. A week later we had our first date in London and you weren't embarrassed of me. You held my hand as we walked home and you asked me to be your boyfriend and I said yes. Because I loved you. You kept me afloat, Simon I have loved you since I was 18, too young to know what love is as mum always said. But I loved you. And I still do.

And I'm sorry that I left you standing there waiting for an answer today. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that you loved me, you love me just as much as I love you! And I would've been able to tell you all of this this morning but Cal held me back and then Jide sent me on a goose chase like a whole twat.

So I'm sorry Si, I love you. A lot more than the moon and stars combined,". And Simons stood staring at him, tears falling down his face. Because holy fucking shit. Harry loved him as much as he loved Harry. Didn't even think as he tackled him into a hug. Kissed him deeply and had every unspoken word added to it.

And Harry seemed to just know because when they pulled away he hugged him tighter. They turn to their 2 cheering friends before Simon leans down to kiss him again.

Because he had Harry. Harry was his, the love of his life. "I even love you enough for the first time I tell you to be in Hertfordshire," Harry giggles and Simon grins at him. "Hometown glory I guess,". And then Simon kisses him again

[vxlkyrie]

bittersweet - ii

pairing: spencer reid x reader, jay halstead x reader, sonny carisi x reader

genre: angst, fluff

warning: cursing, violence, graphic crime details, mentions of rape, mentions of death, mentions of sex, fighting, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of abuse, mentions of alcohol

word count: 6.1k

summary: a huge case calls for the bau, intelligence, and special victims, causing you to cross paths with your ex – that no one in your team knew about

other parts: one, three

a/n: i want to thank everyone for giving me a lot of love and support for the first part of bittersweet! i hope you guys will continue to enjoy the series with this next part! (this one’s a bit longer)

the sounds of chatter and loud music fill your ears as you entered the bar. jay held your hand as he led you to a big group of people.

“hey guys!” jay said, causing several heads to turn your direction. he greeted a few of the guys with a hug as you awkwardly stood with a smile on your face. you recalled some of the people standing in front of you.

adam ruzek. kim burgess. kevin atwater. vanessa rojas. hank voight.

“detective l/n, nice of you to join us today.” hank said, giving you a handshake.

special victims and intelligence had worked on a few cases together. it’s how you and jay had met.

“there’s no need for formalities. please, call me y/n.” you smiled at the older man.

“so what brings you to molly’s tonight?” kim asked, taking a sip of her beer.

“we all know why she’s here.” adam smirked, giving you a side hug.

“she came in with jay. why don’t you just tell us you guys are dating already?” kevin laughed, others following.

“okay, you caught us,” jay said, raising his hands in surrender as you chuckled. “yes, we’re dating. we have been for a few months already.”

“that’s what i’m talking about!” adam yelled, bringing jay in for a hug.

“come on y/n, let’s get you a drink. it’s on us.” kim said as she and vanessa led you towards the bar.

later, you found yourself in deep conversation with the girls as you sat on a stool.

“so, when did all of this start?” vanessa teased.

“remember the last case we worked together and you guys were in new york?” you asked, earning a nod from kim. “well, we met up after we closed the case. i’m surprised none of you noticed that jay stayed in new york for one more night.” you raised a suggestive eyebrow.

“no way!” vanessa fake gagged, making you laugh.

“well i’m happy that you two are together. you guys have been dancing around each for the longest time.” kim laughed.

“you guys finally broke that sexual tension.” vanessa smirked.

“shut up!” you hollered.

you turned to see jay looking in your direction as the guys were having their own conversation.

you couldn’t help but smile at him.

and he smiled back.

“hey babe, you coming?” a voice interrupted your thoughts. you turned your head towards the owner to see spencer looking back at you.

“yeah.” you nodded frantically, walking towards the door.

you walked into the squad room to see a big group of people. you watched special victims and intelligence reacquaint themselves before hotch introduced the bau. they all shook hands, along with derek mentioning how he’s also from chicago.

“they definitely are quite the lookers.” penelope mumbled to emily as she examined the intelligence unit.

“damn right they are.” she chuckled.

you quietly walked up to the group.

“are my eyes deceiving me? is that y/n l/n standing in front of me?” hank joked as he walked towards you.

“hi hank, how have you been?” you said, giving the guy a hug.

“i’ve been great!” he pulled away. “i heard you’re now a hotshot profiler for the fbi.” he smiled.

the bau looked at you two with expressions that ranged from confusion to shock. you turned around to see them looking at you.

“you know them?” jj asked.

“yeah, we worked a few cases together.” you half-lied through your teeth.

you went around, saying your hello’s to the rest of intelligence. kevin even lifted you up into the air as he gave you a bear hug, earning laughs from the whole squad room.

“didn’t think they were that close.” derek whispered to spencer.

“what do you mean?” the younger man asked. “she said they’ve worked together before.”

“yeah, but it seems like they’re more comfortable with her than with the other detectives.”

you decided to go with jay to a big family dinner with his squad.

“jay’s chasing this guy who starts running into the residential areas,” adam recalled while you and the rest of intelligence were listening in. “next thing i know, jay’s toe hits the fence as he tried to jump it, so i just see him faced down onto the grass groaning in pain.” he laughed.

“he ate shit!” kevin shouted.

“you just had to bring it up.” jay rolled his eyes as he watched the table laugh their heads off, especially you. you looked at him to see him glaring at you.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t think i’d be here listening to my badass boyfriend trip over a white picket fence.” you pressed a hand over your mouth as you tried to suppress your giggles. even though jay looked annoyed, you could tell he was just joking by the way he pulled you closer to his side.

“not only is he clumsy, apparently he’s a big softie too.” vanessa raised an eyebrow at you two. now you were blushing as well as jay.

the night continued as everyone continued sharing stories. you talked about what it’s like in new york and how special victims is going. you even had your share of embarrassing stories about your boyfriend.

at times like this, you felt like you had a home away from home, especially with jay by your side.

you were ecstatic to see all of your friends in one big room together as they got to know each other.

this is better than any family reunion i’ve ever been to.

until you were face to face with jay.

“hey y/n.” he said quietly. you gave him a small smile.

“hey jay.” you hesitantly went in for a hug, ignoring the faint ‘awkward’ coming from adam. you hear him groan in pain shortly after, assuming that kim slapped his arm.

knowing who you currently work with, this definitely didn’t go unnoticed by any of them.

“how’s quantico?” he asked as you both pulled away.

“it’s been good.” you simply said, the air suddenly becoming thicker with tension. you ran your left hand through you hair, earning a glance from jay.

“y-you’re engaged?” he furrowed his eyebrows. your eyes widened, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“yeah.” you answered, feeling guilt rush through you as you saw a pained expression paint your ex’s face.

someone come please save me right now.

“hey.” a voice said from your right side. you look up to see spencer with a faint smile on his face.

this is not what i meant.

“i’m doctor spencer reid.” he said, offering his hand to jay. you gave him a surprised look, seeing that he never shakes anyone’s hand.

“jay halstead.” jay responded, taking the taller man’s hand and shaking it firmly.

spencer lightly put his hand on your lower back. once you relaxed under his touch, something in jay’s head clicked.

you’re engaged to him?

“y/n, can you help us organize some stuff before we deliver the profile to everyone?” spencer said as he looked at you. you nodded, excusing you and spencer from jay as you both walked back into the conference room.

the door closed as you saw the bau looking at you.

what the fuck is happening right now?

“you wanna tell us what that was about?” jj broke the silence.

“what was what about?”

“intelligence.” emily answered.

“oh, i told you guys we’ve worked together before. we became friends over the years.” you explained, ignoring your racing heart. even spencer was looking at you suspiciously.

“you work with profilers, y/n. we can tell intelligence is more closer to you than they are with benson and the rest of special victims.” derek pointed out.

“and what’s with the tension between you and halstead?” your fiance added.

“y/n, just tell them already.” hotch said, not looking up from the file in his hands. you gulped.

“jay’s my ex.” you blurted out loud. the team’s eyes widened.

“you dated him?” spencer asked softly. you nodded. you could tell he was hurt.

“interesting.” penelope muttered.

“are you guys ready to deliver the profile?” olivia cleared her throat as she opened the door, breaking the tension that briefly filled up the room.

“yes.” hotch answered, nodding at the rest of the team who started to walk out of the room.

a few moments later, it was just you and spencer in the room.

“why didn’t you tell me?” spencer softly spoke. you bit back tears as guilt ran through your veins.

“i’m sorry,” you sniffed. “it was such a long time ago. you didn’t ask and i didn’t think it’d matter when i was falling for you. i should’ve told you.”

“shhh, it’s okay.” spencer rushed over to you, wiping the tears that you didn’t notice falling from your eyes. he pulled you in for a hug.

“i’m so sorry.” you repeated, wrapping your arms around his middle.

“don’t be sorry,” he whispered, rubbing circles on your back. “that was all in the past. i trust you and i know you love me – that’s all that matters right now.” he kissed your forehead. you two hear the door slowly open.

“are you guys ready?” hotch asked as he peeked through the small opening of the door.

you fixed yourself up as you nodded at your boss. he gave you a small smile as he stepped away from the door. you looked to spencer, who gave you a reassuring smile. you felt your worries wash away as you walked out to the squad room, ignoring that suspicious looks coming from everyone.

-

“the unsub we’re looking for is a female in her mid-to-late 20s.” hotch started.

“she is organized. she could’ve possibly befriended these women and somehow end up poisoning them, later sodomizing them and killing them by slitting their throats.” spencer explained. you bit back a smile as he started wiggling his fingers around as he talked.

“this woman has killed nine women from three sororities, and it is possible she could be targeting more women either from the same sororities or from other chapters.” emily continued.

“she might have been someone who went through recruitment and wanted to be in one of these houses, but was rejected by all of them. she probably sees these murders as acts of revenge.” you added.

nods were seen throughout the room as officers took notes.

olivia’s phone buzzes, causing her to pull the device out and quickly look at the message she received.

“thank you agents,” she said as she approached the front of the room. “but it looks like we’re gonna have to stop right here.”

“why?” hotch asked.

“there’s been another murder.” she announced.

“same victimology?” hank asked.

“yup,” she sighed. “rebecca harris and stacy johnson were found in the middle of central park.”

“a double murder?” kim stated in confusion.

garcia started rapidly typing on her laptop.

“rebecca and stacy, both 22 and in their last year of college. both sigma phi kappa.” she said quickly.

“she went to killing active members.” you added.

“there’s more victims from here than any other states, why new york?” amanda asked.

“either she’s from here or went to college here – or both.” emily chirped.

“then she must’ve went to hudson.” adam uttered.

“if the recent victims were from the same chapter, then our unsub must’ve wanted a bid from sigma phi kappa the most.” you added.

“emily, jj, i want you two to go to the crime scene with tutuola,” hotch ordered. “garcia, dig more into these girls’ lives. morgan and reid, interview the deans.”

“me and hank will stay here. we’ll notify the family and see if we can get them here.” oliva added.

“y/n, since you’re familiar with greek life, what else should we be looking for?” hank asked.

“these chapters are under a council, we should talk to the people who help run recruitment and the girls from different sororities who became recruitment counselors during the fall. at least one of them must’ve talked to our unsub.”

“burgess and rojas, interview the council and get that list of girls who went through recruitment in the past five to seven years. dave and i will stay back and help build the geographical profile,” hotch continued. “the rest of you split up and go to each of the houses and see which girls became counselors and any other information we can get from them.”

everyone scattered around, whether it was heading to the cars or to the white boards.

“is talking to these girls going to be a pain in the ass?” amanda asked you, half joking.

“uh, i don’t think so. they’re nice – for the most part.” you answered honestly.

“i’ll hold you to that.” she chuckled.

“me and adam will take the delta xi house.” kevin said as he walked past you.

“kat and i well go to kappa alpha delta.” amanda said, grabbing her jacket. you stood alone in the middle of the squad room, looking around to see everyone in their own world.

does that mean-

“i guess that leaves us the sigma phi kappa house.” a familiar male voice said from behind you. you turn to see jay nervously standing. you could tell both of you didn’t want to work together, but your feelings didn’t matter when there’s a serial killer on the loose.

“yeah, i guess it does,” you smiled. “come on, hurry up before i take the wheel.” you joked, knowing that jay likes to drive. he sighed out of relief, smiling at you before he walked out of the squad room.

you felt an arm wrap around you. you turned, smiling at spencer.

“hey,” you softly said. “i’m about to head out with jay.”

“oh?” he quirked an eyebrow at you.

“we’re going to one of the houses. everyone paired themselves up and we were the only ones left.” you quickly tried to explain.

“babe, it’s fine.” spencer laughed. “just, stay safe out there.” he pouted.

“it’s just sorority girls.” you laughed.

“yeah, i know, but-”

“but?” you interrupted him. you knew what he meant, you just wanted him to say it.

you’re going to be alone in a car – with your ex.

“you never know,” spencer sighed, steering away from what he was actually trying to say. “just be careful.”

“i will.” you chuckled, letting it go. spencer planted a quick kiss on your lips.

“ready to go?” a third voice said, catching you both off guard. you turned to see jay standing there, holding a set of car keys.

you pulled away from spencer, nodded at jay as you grabbed your jacket and walked towards him.

-

you quietly sat in the car as jay drove towards campus.

“it’s been a while since i’ve flown to new york,” jay said, awkwardly trying to break the silence. “i think it’s been like, what, six years give or take?”  you quickly glance at him.

i wonder why.

“i think the last time i was here, we watched that one musical you really liked.” he calmly said.

“come on jay, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy watching heathers.” you laughed as your arm wrapped around your boyfriend’s.

“i enjoyed watching you sing along,” he chuckled, steam coming out of his mouth due to the cold weather. “and besides, i think i like the original movie more.”

“although the movie was good,” you said as you two walked down broadway. “i love the way they told the story through songs. it was fun catching the references.” you smiled. 

jay looked down at you and felt himself smiling even wider. 

“why are you looking at me like that?” you nervously laughed as you raised an eyebrow at him. you both stopped in your tracks.

“no reason. i just love you.” he blushed.

“i love you too, more than anything.” you smiled back as you both leaned in for a kiss.

you quickly blinked yourself away from your memories.

“that really was a long time ago.” you said, the awkward silence quickly coming back.

“so, doctor spencer reid. he looks really young to be a doctor.” jay mentions.

“he’s only a couple years older than us. and he’s not that kind of doctor. he has several phd’s.” you explained as you fiddled with your fingers.

“several? doesn’t that take years to get?”

“yeah, he’s kind of a genius. graduated high school when he was only twelve. he also earned some while working at the bau.” you smiled to yourself.

“wow y/n,” jay scoffed. “didn’t know you were into that.” he said, quickly glancing at you.

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” you furrowed your eyebrows at him.

“whoa, it was just a joke. no need to be so hostile.”

“i can tell that was not a joke. what the fuck did you mean by that?” you aggressively asked.

“chill!” jay exclaimed. “it’s just that, you’re you, and he’s, well, him.” he tried to explain. you raised an eyebrow.

“that is the worst explanation i’ve ever heard in my life.” you scowled.

“why are you getting so defensive about it?”

“first of all, it’s my relationship. so whoever i’m dating is really none of your business. second-” you spewed before stopping yourself.

“okay. you’re right, and i’m sorry,” jay quirked an eyebrow. “you were gonna say something?”

“what?”

“you said ‘first of all,’ and stopped yourself.” he pointed out.

“it’s nothing.” you crossed your arms.

“don’t pull that on me, i know you. what were you gonna say?”

you sighed.

“you’re not the first person to say that.” you practically whispered.

“no way, you’re dating that pipe cleaner with eyes.” a guy laughed at you as he pointed out your boyfriend who was uncomfortably sitting at a booth by himself.

you and reid were undercover at a club, trying to scope out for a guy who was a person of interest in a case of an unsub who went after couples, giving women the more brutal death.

fortunately, when you went up to get a drink from the bar, the guy you were looking for had approached you.

“um, yes way, actually.” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“come on, you can do way better.” he smirked, placing a hand on your arm. 

“don’t think so.” you said as you tried to back away from him.

the moment he tried to yank your body closer to his, the guy was suddenly slammed onto the counter, bending over as his arm was pulled behind his back.

“how’s that for a pipe cleaner?” you smirked as spencer cuffed the guy.

“shit, i’m sorry y/n, i really am.” jay profusely apologized, putting the car in the park as soon as you both arrived at the sorority house.

“it’s whatever. listen, can we just do our jobs? we have 11 women murdered and our relationship is the least of my worries right now.” you frowned.

“you’re right.” he sighed.

-

“i’m sorry for your lost,” jay said as you comforted maria, sigma phi kappa’s president. “what can you tell me about rebecca and stacy?”

“they were great sisters. they were on our executive board too.” she cried.

“is there anyone who would want to hurt them? maybe an ex boyfriend or a jealous friend?” you asked.

“no, not that i can think of.” she replied.

“i heard there’s a group of girls from your chapter who were recruitment counselors.” jay said.

“yes, every fall. what about them?” she asked.

“we need your list of girls who’ve gone rho chi over the past seven years. we believe the person who killed rebecca and stacy might’ve been potential new member, but was dropped from sigma phi and one of the rho chis might’ve interacted with her.” you answered. maria raised her eyebrows at you.

“were you a-”

“a sorority girl? yeah, me and my older sister were.” you said, giving her a small smile. “we were in alpha chi delta. i was president my last year.” you revealed to her. she nodded at you with a smile, feeling like there was an understanding between you two.

“come with me, and i’ll help you guys with that list.”

you and jay followed her into a smaller room.

“just letting you know, there are a lot of girls that go through recruitment and i don’t think any of our recruitment counselors would remember them.” maria stated.

“it’s worth a shot.” jay said.

“that’s fine, we just need you to send them to our tech analyst.” you said as maria nodded at you.

“if you need anything, maria, feel free to contact us.” jay said as you two gave her your cards.

“do you really think a woman would kill because we rejected her?” maria softly asked.

“this woman is sick. she doesn’t handle rejection well and projected her anger onto women associated with what hurt her.” you explained to her, giving her a sad smile.

-

“holy crap, there are so many girls,” penelope shouted as she scrolled through the thousands of names that displayed in front of her. “i’m gonna need more specificities.”

“can you narrow it down to girls who were rejected from those three specific chapters?” emily asked as penelope typed away. the other two teams looked at her in awe.

“we need to get ourselves a garcia.” adam thought out loud.

“you could say that again.” kat agreed.

“sadly, i am a one-of-kind edition.” penelope smirked.

“that’s right baby girl.” derek smiled. several of the detectives looked at you. you shook your head at them, telling them to not even ask.

“there’s still at least 200 girls.” penelope said.

“how about girls that have been called back by those three houses up until the third day, but never received a bid?” you asked, ignoring that confused stares coming from several of the detectives.

“aha! we are now down to 30.” penelope smiled.

“okay, now see which girls ranked sigma phi kappa as their number one all three days.” you said.

“wow, we are down to 10 girls thanks to miss alpha chi delta,” penelope smirked. you gave her a questioning look. “what? i looked you up.” she admitted, earning chuckles from you and the others.

“that’s a start,” hotch said. “is there anyone that lived in richmond, chicago, and new york?”

“negative, sir.” penelope answered as she continued typing.

“she must’ve been vacationing in those two cities at the time of the murder,” hotch stated. “y/n how can we narrow down the list of recruitment counselors?”

“penelope, match up the 10 girls with who their recruitment counselors. if they were all in different groups over the years, they might have at least two rho chis each.” you looked at the tech analyst.

“you did it again pretty girl, we’re down to 23 recruitment counselors.”

“okay, we have a lot of people here. i need everyone to call every recruitment counselor and see if they can recall anyone of these girls.” hotch said.

hours passed by as all three teams made calls that seem to never end.

“thank you, ma’am. have a good night.” you slurred, barely being able to keep your eyes open. you leaned on your fiance who was sitting next to you the whole time.

“we cannot have you falling asleep on us,” spencer laughed as he fixed your disheveled hair. “besides, our food’s almost here.”

“suddenly i’m awake.” you instantly opened your eyes and sat up straight, earning giggles from everyone around you.

“you guys are so cute it’s disgusting.” sonny commented. the intelligence team gave jay a sympathetic look.

“it’s cute until you have to see them sneak kisses in the office for five straight years.” emily gagged. 

it was hard for jay to keep a calm expression when everyone is gushing over his ex and her husband-to-be.

“listen-” you blushed.

“food’s here!” jj and amanda shouted as they walked in with bags that contained boxes of chinese takeout, hotch following behind with even more bags.

“thank god!” fin and rossi cheered as everyone gathered around and grabbed their own food.

“here’s yours.” spencer said, giving you your order as he returned to his seat next to you.

“thanks babe.” you muttered as you didn’t hesitate to dig in.

“what’d you get?” kim asked.

“oh, just some sweet and sour chicken, nothing too fancy.” you softly laughed.

“i thought you hated sweet and sour chicken.” jay chirped in. spencer gave him a look.

“i guess my taste in things have changed.” you responded, not realizing that the passive aggressiveness behind it. kevin spat out his drink, earning a slap on the head from adam.

you all continued eating. you whined as spencer stole a piece of your chicken, quickly stopping when he gave you a piece of his food.

“so, y/n, spencer, tell us,” amanda asked. “since you’re engaged, what kind of wedding do you guys want?”

spencer’s eyes widened as you scratched the back of your neck.

“we’re not sure yet, actually. we don’t know if we want to go all out or have a simple backyard wedding.” you said.

“i think you should go all out! get a huge venue, buy a ballgown as a dress, invite everyone. you must be making more money now that you’re a federal agent.” sonny chimed in, earning nods from the girls.

“maybe i should.” you laughed.

“you could have a small wedding. save up some money for a house.” jay casually said out loud as he chewed on his food. you could feel spencer gripping your thigh out of frustration.

he’s really trying it.

jay, stop talking.

“you could have it at my house.” rossi offered.

“do you know how many times we’ve used your house for events?” spencer chuckled.

“he’s not wrong. we’ve already had jj’s wedding at your place too.” derek said.

“like i’ve said, we’re still working on the details. either way, i just know i want a huge flower wall.” you smiled.

“filled with white roses?” spencer asked.

“of course! they’re my favorite.” you beamed at him.

“weren’t those the flowers spencer brought you on your first date?” emily asked. you nodded as everyone awed.

“and since then, i’ve only bought her white roses.” spencer said, slightly blushing.

jay could feel himself cringing.

“i thought you hated flowers.” jay grimaced.

“do you have a problem?” spencer said loudly, shooting out of his chair.

“spence-” you whispered, trying to calm him down.

“yeah i do,” jay barked as he walked over to spencer. “can you shut up about your stupid relationship and stop rubbing it in our faces for just one fucking minute?!” he pointed at spencer’s face.

“jay!” you yelled, standing up.

“oh i’m sorry that you fucked up your relationship with y/n! i’m sorry that your egotistical, meat-headed, jealous ass can’t handle that she moved on after six fucking years – something apparently you can’t do!” spencer yelled, harshly poking jay’s chest. he wasn’t one to get angry, but you could tell he was pissed off.

jay pushed spencer to the floor, causing you and derek to run in between the two.

“break it up!” derek shouted as he pulled spencer up.

“jay, stop it!” you pushed him away as kevin held him back, pulling him into a room next to olivia’s office.

“we’re going for a walk.” derek told spencer as he walked his best friend out of the squad room with jj following them.

you ran a hand over your face. you felt your phone vibrate.

jj: i’ll talk to spencer. talk to that hotheaded ex of yours.

you sighed, walking into the room kevin was holding jay as he calmed down.

“i got it, thanks kevin.” you told the bigger guy as he left the room and closed the door.

“what the fuck is wrong with you?!” you almost shouted at the jay who was sitting down and holding his head in his hands.

“what’s wrong with me? you two are practically making out in front of everyone in the squad room!” he sat up.

“we were definitely not doing that.” you raised your eyebrows.

“you might as well be.”

“you’re so childish. what the hell was that out there?” you crossed your arms.

“i’m jealous, okay?!” he roared, making you jump back a bit. “i know we broke up six years ago but goddamnit y/n i’m still hurting! during those six years, you never bothered to call back or answer any of my messages. maybe you blocked me – maybe you got a new number. either way, it hurts knowing that you don’t even want me in your life anymore after we broke up. and it hurts even more that now you’re here in front of me after all that time of not seeing you, you’re engaged to someone else.” he cried.

“jay-” you whispered.

“i was going to propose to you, you know?” he said, looking deeply into your eyes.

“w-what?” you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“our last phone call. i asked when you would be visiting again because i was going to propose to you at that one restaurant i was talking about.” jay confessed.

“i guess this is it then, y/n.” jay softly said, fighting back the tears that were starting to form as he leaned on the kitchen counter.

“i’m sorry.”

“yeah, me too. i won’t forget about you, you know that?” he said.

“yeah, i know.” 

he heard you quickly exhale through the speaker.

“if you need anything, and i mean anything, i’m one phone call away.” jay offered.

“thanks jay.” you sniffed.

“have a good night.” jay said, not knowing those will be his last words to you for the next six years.

“you too.” you quietly said.

jay pulled his phone away from his face and pressed the red button on the screen, ending the call. he took several deep breaths before walking into his bedroom. he sat on his bed, opening the drawer of his nightstand. he pulled out a small velvet box, popping it open to gaze at the ring he had worked so hard to get.

is she gonna like it?

is the diamond too small? too big?

will it fit her?

those thoughts filled his head for the past few months, only for you to suddenly break up with him.

in the end, it was all for nothing.

“jay.” you gulped, feeling your heart break.

“why are you with him, y/n? do you even love him?” jay scowled. you took offense to his questions.

“yes, of course! how dare you ask me that question!” you yelled.

“would you die for him?” he quickly asked.

you straightened your back. he raised an eyebrow at you, waiting for your answer.

“i-i almost have, actually.” you croaked.

“fbi! put the gun down!” you shouted as you and spencer aimed your weapons at the unsub who had been holding a man hostage for several days before your team found him.

“make one move and he’s dead!” the unsub threatened as he pushed the gun’s barrel further into the man’s head.

“you don’t want to shoot him, it’s not in your m.o.” spencer said, mentioning the fact that the unsub kills his victims with blunt objects.

“what do you know?” the unsub spat.

“i know that you’re a sick man whose father abused him as a child, and projects it onto other people. you torture and beat people up to reflect the actions your dearest daddy did to you.” spencer said.

you could tell the unsub looked pissed.

he aimed his gun at spencer. and the moment right before the unsub fired, you jumped in front of spencer, hitting the ground hard as soon as the bullet pierced through your vest.

spencer fired at the unsub, shooting him dead and ran to you.

“y/n!” he yelled as he pulled your laying body towards him, taking off your vest and putting pressure on the bleeding wound that colored your chest. “agent down, we need a medic!” he yelled at his radio.

the rest of the team arrived, taking the man taken hostage to safety.

“hey spence.” you weakly smiled at him, slowly blinking as an attempt to try to keep your eyes open. you loudly groaned in pain, closing your eyes as you clenched his hand.

“everything’s gonna be okay honey, just keep your eyes open. medics will be here soon, just stay with me.

“i feel cold.” you whispered.

“shh, be quiet. you’re gonna be fine.” he said as he saw the medics run in. as soon as they got you into the ambulance, spencer hopped in with you, never leaving your side.

after a few hours of waiting for the trauma surgeon, spencer was finally able to breathe again as soon as he heard that you (barely) made it. once you were awake and ready for visitors, spencer practically ran into your room.

“spence.” you looked at him with glossy eyes.

“babe,” he said as he gently grabbed your hand, rubbing circles in the back of it. “you gave us quite a scare back there.” he said, giving you a small smile.

“i’m sorry. i knew he was gonna shoot, and i just couldn’t let you take that bullet.” you explained as a tear rolled down your cheek.

“well, that was very stupid of you,” spencer chuckled. “i’m just glad you’re okay.” he said, pressing a deep kiss on your temple.

“you did?” jay asked, his face painted with more concern than hurt.

“yeah,” you slowly nodded. “he, uh, almost died for me too.” you told him, watching jay’s eyes widened.

your heart rate picked up rapidly as hotch quickly drove to a house just outside the city. spencer, in an attempt to save you, was taken hostage by an obsessive unsub.

you’d never forget the words that displayed on penelope’s screen: give me the doctor or y/n dies.

you thought it was stupid that spencer voluntarily brought himself to the unsub, but no one couldn’t blame him for thinking with his heart and not his head when it came to you.

the team, along with swat, barged into the house. you kicked down the door to see the unsub removing a knife from spencer’s abdomen. you shot the unsub down and immediately ran to your boyfriend who was covered in cuts and stab wounds. medics immediately arrived as you untied him, carefully taking his face in your hands, examining the blood that littered his face.

“y/n.” spencer croaked.

“why would you do something so stupid?” you mumbled, pouting at him.

“i guess we’re even now.”

“i- wow.” jay exhaled, running a hand through his hair.

“yeah.”

“so you really do love him, huh?”

“yes, more than anything in this world.” you confessed.

after a few moments of silence, jay spoke up.

“i understand,” jay nodded. “he looks at you the same way i looked at you. and i can tell he makes you very happy, both emotionally and physically.” he said, chuckling at the end as he recalled your words. you gave him a sympathetic smile. “i guess i’ve been acting kind of like a dick.”

“kind of?” you raised an eyebrow at jay.

“okay. i’ve been acting like a dick,” he admitted. you both shared a soft laugh. “i’m truly sorry for everything.”

“i’m sorry too.” you apologized back.

“come on, bring it in.” jay teased, opening his arms to you. you rolled your eyes and approached him, reciprocating the hug. 

you failed to notice that the blinds in the room were open.

spencer squinted through the small spaces in between the blinds. once he saw you and jay in each other’s arms, he felt his whole world crumbling down.

you two broke apart, opening the door to see spencer quickly walking out of the squad room.

what the hell?

you looked over to see everyone looking at you with worry.

“what happened to spence?” you asked out loud.

“i tried to explain to him that it was probably just a friendly hug between you and jay, but he wouldn’t listen.” olivia said, resting a hand on your shoulder.

oh no.

“i have to go after him.” you exclaimed, trying to follow him.

“as much as that i would love for you to do that,” penelope stopped you. “you have to see this.”

son of a bitch.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

not sure why I haven’t mentioned this before--well, no, I do know, it’s because this was always either going to be a very short post or a very long one, and I guess we’ll see. (spoiler, it’s long)

anyway--found out Monday that my grandma has covid. she’d had a mild fever for a few days before that but I guess nobody was too concerned until she started having some stroke-like symptoms, and everything checked out okay at first but then her blood oxygen got so low they took her to the hospital in an ambulance aaaaaand it was covid. she’s still in the hospital and she’s on oxygen, but so far her symptoms have been relatively mild in general and mostly they’re keeping her there because of her age (and, I can only assume, because that hospital isn’t overwhelmed with worse cases right now) and will likely release her in a few days if she doesn’t get worse. nobody’s allowed in the covid wing, even my vaccinated aunt, so no shit my unvaccinated grandpa can’t see her either.

as you might imagine I’m having, uh, a lot of feelings about this and I’ve mostly been dealing with them by not thinking about it too much, which is the other reason I haven’t mentioned it. it’s scary, obviously, because they’re both old (my grandpa wasn’t tested for some reason but was told to isolate for 10 days, but obviously he was around her for several days when she was contagious), and my medically fragile uncle--who hasn’t been vaccinated, at his doctor’s advice--might have been exposed too. and I haven’t seen them since summer 2016, which is something I could have made the effort to do but didn’t because to be totally honest I wouldn’t feel comfortable visiting any of the still-very-conservative parts of my extended family without at least one other reasonable person around. in particular I haven’t wanted to visit my grandparents by myself or maybe with just my dad, because I don’t know if they would corner me about political things, or sit me down and solemnly say that they love me very much but they’re grieved by the ways I’ve changed over the past several years and God is super grieved too because I’ve clearly allowed Satan to deceive me and in conclusion they can’t have anything to do with me unless I stop being queer and liberal...but I think there’s a nonzero chance they might. and I really don’t want to know that they would, but at the very least I don’t want to spend a significant amount of my own money, effort, and vacation time for that, you know?

and also to be honest I am fucking furious. I’ve been fucking furious all along at the absolute shitstains who turned masks and vaccines into a divisive political issue, and now I’m more personally furious because it’s closer. I’m pissed at my grandparents for not getting vaccinated when they were definitely healthy enough for that, and going to an unmasked church, which is where my grandma most likely caught it. I’m pissed at them for believing the shit I’m sure they get on Fox News. I’m particularly pissed at my grandpa, who has a fucking doctorate and was a Democratic state legislator decades ago before switching parties, although considering that didn’t happen until my dad was at least a teenager and my dad has always been extremely fucking conservative, my grandpa had to have been extremely fucking conservative too even before he became a Republican. I’m pissed because I have almost nothing but good memories of my grandparents and I know the way they raised my dad is responsible for a lot of the dysfunction that has fucked me up and the way I was basically indoctrinated in conservative evangelical bullshit to believe all kinds of cruel bigotry while being told it was love and I swallowed it all because I was a fucking child who literally never got to hear differing opinions unless they were filtered through shit about not falling for the devil’s lies or whatever. I am incandescently furious at their church, and really the vast majority of the American church, for managing to be even more awful during the past year by jumping into the whole bullshit masking debate with both feet and screaming about religious freedom every time some sensible person wanted to limit gatherings or mandate masks to keep people from fucking dying, because “the Bible says we are to obey God rather than man” and “the Bible says we should trust in God’s protection instead of living in fear” when like--bitch, if you really actually believe in God, maybe consider using the brain he gave you??

and, you know, I’m pissed at the whole poisonous system that’s gotten me to this point, where I haven’t seen my grandparents in five years and now my grandma has covid and she will probably get better but of course there’s a chance she won’t and I still don’t think I’ve been wrong to be afraid of rejection.

so it’s, you know, a lot.

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: you are a mermaid and you save a handsome man from drowning but little do you know it’s not his first rodeo when dealing with mermaids. seonghwa, a former prince, is currently hongjoong’s first mate and boyfriend. hongjoong is the captain, the pirate king of the most savage crew across the seas. and you want nothing to do with them. not because they’re pirates, but because they’re humans…

ship: mermaid!reader x prince/pirate!seonghwa x pirate!hongjoong

genre: little mermaid!au, pirate!au, romance, ANGST, fantasy

warnings: manipulation, betrayal, lying, jealousy, insecurities, death mentions, to sum up: everyone suffers a lot and i have no excuse

author’s note: actually nah, yeosang & soojin are living their best lives

word count: 3.5k

chapter one ☠️ chapter two ☠️ chapter three ☠️ chapter four ☠️  chapter six ☠️  chapter seven ☠️ chapter eight  ☠️ chapter nine ☠️ chapter ten ☠️ chapter eleven ☠️ chapter twelve ☠️ chapter thirteen ☠️ spotify playlist

Hongjoong’s POV

I couldn’t take it anymore. The more time passed, the closer Seonghwa got to Y/N. It was destroying me slowly. I wanted her out of his life, out of my life. Everything was perfect before. But my boyfriend was spending more and more of his free minutes in her company. And it was so damn frustrating. Because these minutes were supposed to be mine. 

I was the one he was supposed to cherish. But he barely paid any attention to me. I wanted to get rid of her so fucking badly. At first, I considered killing her. But then, I changed my mind. If Seonghwa ever found out, he would hate me for it. He would end things with me for good. It would have an opposite effect of what I wanted to achieve. 

So, instead I came up with a different plan altogether. I wanted her out of the picture, right? I just had to convince her to leave on her own terms. To convince her that Seonghwa wasn’t good enough for her. And I knew just the thing that would make her walk away. Well, technically, she would swim away, but whatever. 

A smile appeared on my face. It was perfect. I just had to figure out how to get her alone. Whenever she swam by, Seonghwa was always quick to go to her. I needed him to be distracted by something so that I could accomplish my plan. An idea was already forming in my head. But I needed Yeosang’s help. And I couldn’t tell him the truth about my intentions, because he might tell Seonghwa and then everything would go to hell. So, naturally, I improvised.

“Sangie, will you help me with something?” I cooed in the younger boy’s ear while he was cooking something.

“What is it, hyung?” Yeosang asked.

“Well, you remember what you suggested a while ago? About having more than one lover…”

“Oh my God, did you finally make up your mind? You’re going to stop being jealous of Y/N?”

“M-maybe,” I lied. “But I want it to be a surprise for Seonghwa. And in order to do that, I need to talk to her first. Alone.”

“What do you need me for?” Yeosang inquired, eager to help. Poor boy had no idea he was being deceived.

“I need you to distract Seonghwa while I’m discussing it with Y/N. Can you do that for me?”

“Sure thing! I’ll tell him there’s an emergency in the kitchen next time she swims by and make him come with me while you’re talking with Y/N.”

“Really? That sounds great. Thank you so much, Sangie!” I responded, trying not to sound too gleeful about it.

“Of course, it’s no big deal,” Yeosang replied. “I really hope things work out for the three of you. It’d be so nice for you to finally get along with Y/N. She really isn’t a bad person.”

I restrained myself from pointing out that she wasn’t even a person at all.

🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️

Reader’s POV

During the past few weeks you’d been swimming to the pirates’ ship every day. Talking to Seonghwa about his adventures was the highlight of your day. You called his name as soon as you reached the ship. You were surprised when he didn’t show up immediately. So far, it had never taken him so long. A couple of moments later, you were greeted by Hongjoong, the captain of the ship and Seonghwa’s boyfriend. You frowned in suspicion, because he never regarded you. So, what changed? Why did he suddenly want to communicate with you. It was weird.

“What do you want?” you huffed. “Where is Seonghwa?”

“Unavailable at the moment, I’m afraid,” Hongjoong informed you.

So strange…

“Listen, I can tell you two are getting closer so I felt it’s only right to warn you.”

“I don’t need to hear anything from you,” you groaned in annoyance. “I know you’re jealous I might steal your boyfriend away. Whatever you say, it won’t stop me from wanting to be his friend.”

“I might as well go ahead and say it, then,” Hongjoong laughed. “If you’re so sure it’ll change nothing.”

Your raised an eyebrow in curiosity. What was he getting at? Did he actually have anything worth talking about or was he just bluffing for whatever reason?

“Go ahead,” you gave him permission needlessly, because he was already intent on telling you something very important.

“Didn’t you ever wonder how Seonghwa knew about Ariel?” Hongjoong suddenly questioned you.

“Many humans have heard the story,” you didn’t think much about it. But now that he mentioned it…Seonghwa had looked particularly heartbroken whenever Ariel’s name came up in conversation. You wondered…why was that?

“You’d be surprised what Seonghwa knows and hasn’t told you.”

You tilted your head slightly in confusion. What was he talking about?

“Shouldn’t I be asking him that?” you challenged Hongjoong. “Why should I trust you? All you’ve ever done since we met is be jealous.”

Hongjoong shook his head.          

“Seonghwa’s not the man he claims to be. He’s hiding a terrible secret from you.”

“Stop being so ambiguous!” you were getting angry. “Just say whatever lie you’ve made up and leave me alone!”

Hongjoong nodded.

“Alright, then. You want a lie? The truth is Seonghwa is the reason Ariel turned into sea foam. She loved him,” he said, causing you to flinch. “That’s right,” he kept going. “He was the prince who abandoned her. She gave her voice, her tail and her life for him and he tossed it all away. Is that the kind of man you like?”

Tears began clouding your sight. This couldn’t be real. Hongjoong was lying.

“If he’s as terrible as you say he is, why are you with him?” you asked rightly. “Why would you feel threatened by me?”

Hongjoong laughed bitterly.

“You got it all wrong. I’m just as terrible as him, that’s why we belong together. I’ve killed people, Y/N. Seonghwa has, too. But you don’t belong in our world. You should save yourself before it’s too late.”

You couldn’t believe this. It had to be a lie. Right?

“After all, you don’t want to end up like her, do you?” Hongjoong dealt the killing blow.

By then, your eyes were filled with salty tears and your hands were shaking.

“Ask him if you don’t believe me,” Hongjoong chuckled sarcastically. “Unless…you’re afraid to hear him say it.”

“I’m not afraid of anything!” you screamed in frustration and returned where you have always belonged – to the bottom of the sea.

☠️☠️☠️

Seonghwa’s POV

I always warned Yeosang not to cook by himself, because it usually ended in disaster. So, naturally, I got a bit annoyed, because he didn’t listen to me. Of course, I couldn’t let him deal with the consequences all by himself and gave him a helping hand, whenever he needed assistance with his cooking adventures. 

It wasn’t his fault that he burned something in the kitchen the minute Y/N came by to see me. However, by the time the chicken issue was dealt with, Y/N had already vanished without even talking to me. I felt a bit bummed out about that, but yet again, it couldn’t be helped. It was just an unpleasant coincidence. But when she didn’t show up the next day…and then, the following days, as well, I started to get worried. 

I asked Yeosang if he knew anything about that, but he simply responded that Soojin hadn’t appeared recently, either. So, he was as concerned about our mermaid friends as I was. When a whole week passed without any trace of them, I knew that something had happened. This wasn’t like them at all. During the past month, Y/N and Soojin wouldn’t miss a day without interacting with us. 

Their sudden disappearance was troubling, to say the least. When I couldn’t take it any longer, I reached out to Yeosang once more in hopes of finding out why they were no longer around. This time, he told me something different, which surprised me.

“Hongjoong was the last person who talked to Y/N before she and Soojin vanished.”

“Hongjoong?” my eyes narrowed in suspicion. “That doesn’t make any sense. He doesn’t even like Y/N. Why would he talk to her?”

“That was my thought, as well,” Yeosang exclaimed. “It was supposed to be a surprise, but he asked me to distract you, while he was having a conversation with her.”

“What for?” I kept pressing Yeosang for information. This situation was getting really frustrating.

“He…wanted to convince her that he was okay with her being your lover. It was my idea, actually.”

“And what, you think Y/N found that idea so displeasing that she would leave without talking to me? And Soojin, too. Something doesn’t add up.”

Yeosang nodded, agreeing with me.

“Now that I think about it, Hongjoong seemed awfully cheerful about making peace with her.”

“Out of character much, no?” I frowned.

“Precisely. I don’t want to get in the way of your relationship, hyung, but it’s highly possible, he tricked us both.”

I bit my lips anxiously.

“I’m afraid you might be right. I have no choice but to ask him myself.”

“No, hyung, wait,” Yeosang made an attempt to stop me, probably because he didn’t want me to get hurt, but it was already too late, because I was determined to find out what exactly Hongjoong had told Y/N to make her leave without even bothering to say goodbye to me.

☠️☠️☠️

Hongjoong’s POV

Things were going great. Ever since I told Y/N about Seonghwa and Ariel’s history, I had my boyfriend all to myself. My plan had been executed so perfectly that I couldn’t help but worry it was too much of a good thing. I mean…Seonghwa would occasionally ask around if anyone had heard anything from Y/N. But I was certain he’d forget her soon enough and move on. Right?

Well, to put it simply, I was wrong. And I messed up so fucking badly I wanted to punch myself.

“What did you tell her, Hongjoong?” Seonghwa yelled at me angrily, grabbing me by the shirt, his face dangerously close to mine and not in the way I was used to and loved. He was furious. And he had every right to be. I was such an asshole for telling her. He’d trusted me with such a big secret and I’d betrayed him. I wasn’t sure he would ever forgive me for it. So, I played dumb.

“What are you talking about?” I feigned ignorance to the best of my abilities.

“Oh, don’t pull that shit,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes sarcastically. “Yeosang told me you were the last person on this ship who was seen talking to Y/N. Don’t make me ask again,” he threatened.

I gulped nervously.

“Why would I talk to her? It’s not like we have anything in common,” I lied.

“You have me,” Seonghwa chuckled darkly. “So, cut the crap and tell me...unless you want me to go to the bottom of the sea and ask her myself.”

I sighed. That was exactly the kind of thing I was trying to avoid. What was the use of me talking to Y/N if Seonghwa was going to go after her anyways? I was such an idiot it was embarrassing.

“Hwa, baby, I’m so sorry.”

I didn’t even need to verbalize what I’d told her. Seonghwa already knew.

“Please, tell me you didn’t,” he pleaded, his voice on the verge of breaking.

But I did. How could I deny it? So, instead, I just looked him in the eyes, my own were filled with regret.

Seonghwa shook his head in disappointment.

“How could you do this to me, Hongjoong? I trusted you and you betrayed me.”

“I could ask you the same thing,” I replied, immediately going on the offence, because it would hurt me less than admitting I was in the wrong. “Do you know how it feels to watch you watch her? It’s killing me, Hwa, it’s killing me that you’d rather be with someone else if you could. That I’m not good enough for you.”

Seonghwa flinched away from me as if I’d struck him with my words.

“You were good enough. But honestly, I’m looking at you right now and I can’t even recognize the man I fell in love with. I never did anything wrong, Hongjoong. So don’t project your insecurities onto me, because you and I both know I’m not the one who broke your trust.”

Fuck. I knew he was right but what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t take back what I’ve said or done. And if he hadn’t given me reason to question his loyalty, I wouldn’t have gotten this far.

“Fine. You didn’t do anything wrong, but you thought of it.”

“It’s not the same!” Seonghwa screamed. “Damn it, Hongjoong. If I think about killing someone, it’s not the same as actually killing them.”

“Are you thinking about killing me right now?” I asked him, my voice cold and devoid of any emotion. Inside, I was burning alive.

“I don’t know,” Seonghwa responded. “But I’m thinking I don’t want to stay in the same room with you.”

I nodded in understanding.

“That’s fair.”

And then, he walked away, taking the shattered pieces of my heart with him.

🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️

Reader’s POV

You had spent the last week trying to distract yourself by doing all of your favourite activities. Collecting starfish with Soojin, observing corals, catching fish, dancing with dolphins, orchestrating concerts with the seagulls. Anything and everything that would take your mind off things. You were so desperately trying to forget everything you’d learned from Hongjoong that you forgot your initial plan. You were supposed to hear Seonghwa’s side of the story. You supposed that Hongjoong’s judgement was clouded by jealousy and he may or may not have exaggerated the extent to which Seonghwa was guilty of Ariel’s death. And yet, something was telling you that he was telling the truth...for the most part.

At one point, Soojin couldn’t put up with your refusal to talk to Seonghwa ever again.

“We have to go up! You guys should discuss this. Instead you’re just shutting him out without allowing him to explain.”

You scoffed.

“Oh, please, you just want to make out with Yeosang. You don’t give a shit about whether Seonghwa was actually responsible for our cousin’s demise.”

Soojin slapped your hand lightly, obviously offended.

“How could you say that? I cared about Ariel, too. But I don’t think Seonghwa is the type of guy who’d hurt her on purpose.”

“Didn’t you hear what I said? Hongjoong told me everything. And who, if not him, would know Seonghwa’s secrets best? Seriously, Soojin, sometimes I think you live in an imaginary world where everything’s perfect and no one gets hurt. Well, wake up, sweetheart! Reality sucks and we have to think twice before trusting some dumb pirates.”

Soojin was getting even more angry with you.

“Even if it’s true, isn’t it only right to hear Seonghwa admit to it? You said it yourself. Hongjoong was jealous of you. What if he lied to you, huh? Wouldn’t you like to know for sure? And yes, maybe I do miss Yeosang. Like…a lot. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or Ariel. You know I have always had your back, Y/N. I’m on your side and I just want you to be happy again. Please, just give Seonghwa one last chance.”

You closed your eyes, trying to numb the pain. Soojin had a point, of course she had. But realizing it meant you had to admit you were wrong.

“Fine,” you finally conceded. “But if I don’t like his explanation, I’m going back here for good. You can do whatever you want with Yeosang but you won’t drag me with you ever again.”

“I swear you won’t regret it, sis!” Soojin vowed solemnly.

“I hope, for your own sake, that you’re right.”

She gave you a tight hug and made you promise not to act rashly and consider every side of the story before making a final decision. You said that you’d try your best to be more patient and she seemed pleased enough by that. All that remained now was to actually put this plan into practice.

☠️☠️☠️

Seonghwa’s POV

I knocked on Yeosang’s door lightly, hoping he’d answer. I was so angry and upset with Hongjoong that I couldn’t imagine sleeping in the same bed as him. How could he do this to me? At first, I hadn’t planned on ever telling Y/N about my love for Ariel. But the more I got to know her, the more I wanted to be completely honest with her.

It was my secret to tell. He had no right to take that away from me. He had no right to drive her away. I was willing to bet he hadn’t presented the facts, as they were. I should have seen this coming. I should have anticipated his jealousy leading him into making this decision. I shouldn’t have trusted him.

“Hyung?” Yeosang murmured sleepily and rubbed his eyes as he opened the door to his room.

“Can I stay here tonight?”

“Sure,” he stepped aside to let me in. “Did something happen?”

“Just go back to sleep, Sangie. I don’t want to talk about it,” I responded.

“Oh, okay. Well, you don’t have to talk,” Yeosang sat down next to me on the edge of the bed and wrapped his gentle arms around me. A silent tear rolled down my cheek as I tried to restrain myself from crumbling. Why did it have to hurt so much? “It’s okay, hyung. Everything will be okay.”

“T-thank you,” I mumbled and squeezed his hand tightly. “For being there for me.”

“Try to get some sleep, yeah? You’ll feel better in the morning,” Yeosang advised me and in that moment, I felt like I was the kid and he was the parent. Oh, how the tables have turned.

“When did you get so wise, huh?” I joked.

“I take it after you,” Yeosang smiled sweetly.

☠️☠️☠️

Yeosang’s POV

I couldn’t possibly kick Seonghwa out, not after what he’d been through. In a way, I related to the way he felt. After all, Soojin wasn’t anywhere to be seen, either. I couldn’t help but worry about her. Though I wasn’t a 100% sure of what Hongjoong had told Y/N that would drive the two mermaids away, I had a suspicion that was most likely correct. Naturally, I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. It wasn’t my secret to tell. But what I could do was be there for Seonghwa. Right now he needed a friend who wouldn’t betray his trust. And as much as I respected and cared for Hongjoong, I had a feeling he had done just that.

Seonghwa was sleeping uneasily, tossing and turning, obviously tormented by something. I wished I could make him open up and make his problems disappear just by listening to him talk about them. But after what I suspected he’d been through, I was fairly certain he’d a have a very difficult time ahead of him. I couldn’t do much but support him in my own silent way. It would have to be good enough.

Wondering about all these things, I couldn’t get any sleep. Which was somewhat fortunate, because if I had been asleep, I probably wouldn’t have heard Soojin calling my name in the middle of the night. I hurried out of my room, trying to be as quiet as possible, because I didn’t want to disturb Seonghwa’s already troublesome dreams.

“Soojin!” I whisper-yelled at her in the dark and jumped out of the ship, swimming towards her without thinking twice.

“Yeosang!” she greeted me happily and wrapped her arms around my neck. “I missed you so much!”

“What happened?” I asked her immediately, not wanting to waste any time in needless formalities.

“It’s so terrible. But I can’t tell you yet. It’s not my se-“

“Secret to tell,” I finished instead of her. “I understand.”

“All I can say is it involves Seonghwa’s past,” Soojin couldn’t refrain herself from sharing that piece of information.

“I figured as much,” I confessed. “You think Y/N will want to talk to him again?”

Soojin shook her head.

“I’ve been trying to convince her to hear him out for the past week. But I don’t know. Maybe she will, maybe she won’t.”

I nodded.

“Well, enough about them. I’m happy you came, I was worried sick.”

“I’m fine,” Soojin reassured me. “But I was terrified you’d think I left you on purpose or something.”

“Something was telling me that wasn’t the case, darling.”

It was too dark to see but Soojin’s warm face against my chest suggested to me that she was blushing. I smirked.

“I missed you, too, you know?”

“Of course you did, I’m awesome,” she giggled playfully and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

“And humble, I see,” I teased her and stroked her hair.

Soojin laughed and if someone asked, I’d tell them that sound was my favourite song.

To be continued…

[bluesfortheredj]

Hitsuzen.

Hitsuzen - A naturally foreordained event. A state in which other outcomes are impossible.

Chapter 11.

A/N: The final part of Hitsuzen... finally. 

“Oh… hey,” you smile sleepily; waking at the tender touch of his hand, “are you alright?”

He smiles softly, “I’m fine. How are you feeling?”

“Better,” you nod, breaking out into a yawn at the end of the word, “where’s Evie?”

“She’s downstairs, hyper on chocolate cake and playing with Betty,” he pauses before he chuckles lightly when he remembers the slew of questions aimed at him when he entered the house, “she, uh,  she gave me a quick interrogation when I came in just now… she may be small but my goodness is she powerful. Made a grown man shake in his shoes!”

“Oh god,” you sigh as you cover your eyes with your palms, “what did she say?”

“Well, she started off with ‘do you love mummy?’ then finished off with ‘can you be my new daddy?’ I mean, I’ve got to give it to her, she knows what she wants and she’s not afraid to ask for it!”

“Oh god,” you groan, “I didn’t think she’d ask you that!”

“It’s okay,” he laughs, “honestly, it was interesting to be on the other side of an interrogation for once!”

“I’m so sorry. She spoke bout this the other day; asking if you’d be her other daddy. I never thought she’d actually ask you outright. I’ll have a word with her,” you sigh.

“Seriously, it’s fine,” he insists, “it’s quite an inviting prospect, I can’t lie. She’s a great kid.”

You slip your hands away from your eyes to take a look at him and you sit up against the headboard as his words sink in, “Charlie… I…”

“Mummy!” Evie interrupts as she bursts into the room, “are you feeling better? Is Charlie staying? Do you love him? I love him.”

“Wow!” you laugh, “you are hyper!”

She jumps up onto the bed between you and Charlie then lays her head on your lap while she sticks her feet out to rest on Charlie’s thighs, “can we go home? Can Charlie come? Sleepover?”

You stroke the hair back from her upside down face and wobble her little cheeks to make her laugh, “someone needs to have a nap because they’re talking crazy!” you chuckle, “and these cheeks are crazy cute, I could just eat them all up.”

Evelyn laughs loudly as you bend over and nibble at her face playfully as you make chomping noises, and Charlie can only sit there in a captivated trance at watching the two of you interacting. He finds himself unable to wipe the smile from his face as you continue to make Evie laugh so innocently despite everything that had happened during her so far short life, and though it wasn’t his place to do so right now, he wished that he could gather the two of you in his arms in a loving embrace. You look up at Charlie for a moment and notice the wistful look in his eyes, then drag Evie up onto your lap for her to calm down before you speak.

“Right Missy, I need you to go downstairs and tell Sarah that mummy will be down for some cake, okay?” you ask her once she’s wiped the happy tears from her face.

“Okay,” she nods fervently before sliding off the side off the bed and disappearing.

“So… you sure you wanna deal with that everyday?” you smirk.

“Never been more sure in my life.”

“And are you sure you wanna deal with this everyday?” you ask, pointing to yourself and your slightly dishevelled appearance.

“Well, it’s a tough job but somebody’s got to do it, eh?” he winks, shuffling closer to you until he can lean forwards and kiss your waiting lips.

It’s the sort of kiss that told you everything you needed to know; it’s deep yet delicate, it’s passionate yet soft, and it ignites a fire that you thought could never be reignited after David had passed. Charlie’s hands cup your face in both a firm and gentle manner while your hands slide up the front of his shirt until you can clasp them together at the nape of his neck and slowly pull him down as you sink into the bed. The sound of his phone ringing makes him groan into your mouth and you laugh at his extremely unimpressed expression when he finally pulls away after peppering your lips with at least five more kisses.

“Sir,” he almost whines, “of course, I’m on my way now.”

“See you later,” you smile with a comforting stroke of his stubble scattered jawline.

“Already looking forward to it,” he replies excitedly, kissing you twice more before he can peel himself away from you completely.

You hear Charlie hopping quickly down the stairs only to be stopped by one nosey little girl who asks him where he’s going, and you roll your eyes at her never ending campaign to get him to stay over for a sleepover which of course would include hot chocolate and night kisses.

“Evie!” you call out, carefully getting out of bed, “stop harassing the policeman… it’s an arrestable offence!”

“A best of all oppence?” she frowns, turning her attention to the top of the stairs where you hold onto the wall for stability.

Both you and Charlie let out a laugh at her misunderstanding, “yes darling, a best of all oppence… now can you go and tell Sarah mummy needs her please?”

She runs off into the lounge and you mouth ‘run’ down to the Charlie as he gets to open the front door at last, and both her and Sarah appear once he’s safely outside. Sarah comes up to help you down the stairs; you were still feeling a little groggy and didn’t feel brave enough to tackle the stairs on your own just in case you went flying down them. When you’re safely resting on the sofa with a soothing cup of tea and the girls’ favourite film on the television Sarah comes to sit next to you to see how you are, and you rest your head on her shoulder with a contented sigh.

-

“Nelson, here,” Barnaby says, thrusting a file at Charlie as soon as he’s close enough, “Adam’s in interview room one… would you like to take the lead on this one?”

“It would be my absolute pleasure Sir.”

The two men enter the interview room, begin the recording, then Charlie shuffles his papers before letting out a long sigh and staring Adam straight in the eyes.

“Adam Carter… ex husband of a Maria Marsden; is that correct?” Charlie begins.

“Pfft,” he scoffs, “yeah.”

“When was the last time you had contact with Maria?”

Adam shrugs, “just after the divorce I guess.”

“Anything more recently?”

“No.”

“Are you quite sure about that? You see, we have a witness statement saying that you informed them of some form of contact between you and Maria; with her being the one to instigate it…”

“Uh…”

“Luckily though, we did some digging and found this,” Nelson twirls a piece of paper around on the desk to face Adam and slides it towards him, “this is a non-molestation order made against you by Maria two months after your divorce which prevents you from using or threatening violence, or intimidating and pestering her. So if you have been in contact with her, then we will need to-”

“I haven’t,” he snaps, “it was a lie. I lied, okay?!”

“Why would you lie about something that could possibly get you into so much trouble?” Charlie frowns as John narrows his eyes at Adam.

“Because,” he sighs with another nonchalant shrug.

“Because?”

“Because I was trying to get the sympathy vote.”

Charlie tenses up as he realises it was a ploy to make Adam appear vulnerable to you; to trick you in to comforting him, soothing him… and that would have been when he pounced, when he tried to take advantage of you because he was playing the victim. The thought of it all made him shudder violently in his seat, and he has to take a moment to shake the intrusive images of what could have played out from his mind.

“So you were planning on using this story to deceive a person into… what? What was the plan there?”

Adam smirks, “you know exactly what.”

“I think we’ve got everything we need,” Barnaby states, “Mr. Carter, you’re free to go.”

As soon as Adam has disappeared down the corridor Charlie allows one single bang of his fist on the desk before gathering up his papers and slipping them neatly back into the folder.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself Nelson,” John nods at the short outlet of rage.

“He can’t keep working at the school after this, can he?” Charlie asks as the two men make their way out of the interview room and back to their desks.

“I’m sure the head will want to keep this quiet,” he smiles, “and nip the problem in the bud, so to speak.”

Nelson smiles and gives John an understanding and thankful nod.

“How as (Y/N) earlier by the way?”

“Better,” Charlie sighs with relief, “more rested, that’s for sure.”

“Good to hear. She’s like a daughter to me, you know. She’s been through a lot for someone her age, and both myself and Sarah care very deeply for her…” John affirms, “we’ve seen her at her lowest point and now we appear to be seeing her as we never thought we would again… happy.”

Charlie realises as the two men sit down at their desks, that this is a thinly veiled warning to him that if he were to do anything to (Y/N) that would hurt her, there would be grave consequences in store, and all he can do in response to John is nod silently.

“Do not fuck this up Nelson,” he finishes bluntly.

“You have my word that I will not mess it up Sir.”

“Right. Good. Well, I’m glad we could sort that out then,” John smiles, raising his eyebrows at the DS, “why don’t you get us a drink to help get through this paperwork?”

“On it Sir!”

-

“(Y/N”, Sarah whispers, “(Y/N), wake up sweetie, the boys are back.”

A deep frown creases your brow as you come to after an unusually deep nap, and you manage to sit upright on the sofa with a confused expression just as John and Charlie enter the house.

“What’s the time?” you yawn, noticing the lack of children around.

“Just gone seven,” Sarah smiles, “you’ve been out for hours!”

“Oh my god, is Evie alright?”

“She’s fine; her and Betty are having a best friend’s sleepover in Betty’s room tonight, and they’re already fast asleep.”

“Thank you,” you sigh, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t awake for anything.”

“Don’t you worry, you need your rest after what happened, and they wanted dinner in the garden tonight anyway so they could have Sykes sit with them,” she chuckles, “so luckily we weren’t going to wake you.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Sarah.”

“Nor do I, I’d be lost without her,” John adds with a grin, “now why don’t I help you with dinner my darling?”

“Right, what’s happened?” Sarah asks suspiciously, “you’re in too good of a mood!”

John and Sarah disappear off into the kitchen and Charlie takes a seat next to you on the couch after taking off his shoes and coat in the hallway. He gives you a reassuring smile before reaching out for your hand and squeezing it comfortingly as you sit there still wondering where your entire day went so quickly. Once the fog lifts from your head you stand up and let Charlie know you were just going to check on the girls, then you ascend the stairs slowly and tiptoe to Betty’s room where the glow of her night light seeps out onto the landing. You push the door ajar gently to find the girls snuggled up in bed together with stuffed animals surrounding them and a book laying on the duvet as if they’d just finished story time; it was a heart warming sight to see and you know that moments like these had to be cherished what with how quickly the two of them seemed to be growing up. After a couple of minutes you eventually retreat back downstairs to find John, Sarah, and Charlie standing together in the kitchen, and in that moment you felt as if you’d finally found the family you were meant to have all along. As you walk up to Charlie and his waiting loving embrace, you realise that Midsomer had given you everything you ever wanted, and that moving here was an extraordinarily lucky twist of fate.

@lv7867 @lovemarvelousfics @fuckyou-imspiderman @aynsleywalker @timeandpixiedust @the-baby-bookworm @pink-lemo @chlobo6 @queenslandlover-93 @misslolasworld @killer-queen-87 @drivenbybri @itsametaphorgwil @what-wicked-delights

[beanie-beebo-writes]

Call for Action

Series Summary: You finally get your dream job, but it comes with a cost.

Warnings: Description of panic attack

Masterlist

Note: Y/NN Stands for Your nickname

Chapter 5

Jensen pinned you against the wall roughly, both of you breathing heavily. You were silent, just staring at one another hungrily. Then his lips landed onto yours hard. You gasped in surprise as he kissed you. Daringly, you slid in your tongue; he tangled his own around yours.

After a few minutes, you decided it was your turn to pin him. You grabbed his shoulders and spun him so he was now against the wall. Jensen growled, giving you an idea. Before he could make another move, you sucked on the pulse point on his neck. He let out a moan before feeding his hands through your hair.

You broke apart for a moment as your anxious thoughts just began to catch up. “Are we going too fast? Because I feel like this should feel too fast.”

Jensen swallowed and caught his breath. “If it’s too fast, we can stop. It’s up to you, really.”

“Well, that isn’t fair. You have a say too.” You said.

Jensen looked down before looking back up at you. “I know I do. I’m saying that this pace is perfectly fine for me. But if it isn’t for you, that’s fine too.” He said.

You thought for a moment before smiling, causing Jensen to look at you quizzically. “Fuck it.” You said, pushing your lips back onto his.

Jensen smiled before you took him by surprise, stumbling with him into his bedroom.

-------

You straightened your clothes and stepped out of Jensen's trailer, feeling more rejuvenated than ever. Everything just felt right. Even though circumstances were somewhat normal to you, you were sure it shouldn't have felt normal. You brushed it off and focused on the next task on hand, setting up the location for the day. Before you could even step several feet from Jensen's trailer though, Jared spotted you. You cursed under your breath and tried to appear casual.

"Hey (Y/N/N); is it okay if I start calling you that?" He asked.

"Sure, fine by me." You said.

"Have you seen Jensen around? I couldn't find him all morning." Jared said.

"Uh yeah, he's in his trailer." You said, not realizing you had just admitted to Jared where you were all morning.

Jared did a teasing gasp. "You did it with him, didn't you?"

"What? No!" You lied, your blush giving you away.

"You did! No wonder Tracy couldn't find you, oh my god."

"Jared.."

"Oh (Y/N), you sly dog!"

"Do you ever shut up?"

"I will never shut up!"

"You better."

"Or what? You'll kick my ass?"

"No, but I will make sure Jensen hounds you and kicks your ass."

Jared bites his lip and resigns.

"Fine. But I'm still bringing it up to Jensen." He said.

"I can't stop you, can I?" You asked.

"Nope!" He said proudly.

"Ugh. I have to drive to location, I'll see you later." You said.

"You love me and you know it!" Jared shouted as you began to walk away.

"Yeah yeah." You responded.

-----

"Alright everyone, take five!" You shouted. "And please hydrate, I don't want to have to call the medical team." 

Today had been extra hot, and you had felt for everyone that had to be on scene. The scene was set in town, where there was little to no shade. Crew had brought along extra water coolers, mini fans, and umbrellas to help everyone out. You had mostly felt bad for the actors, who had to dress as if it was late September.

You guzzled your water and looked around for the guys to chat with them. You spotted Clif's SUV and tried to look inside, figuring they probably needed cooling off. And if they weren't in there, you figured at least he would know where their whereabouts were. You rapped on the window and it rolled down, revealing Jensen in the passenger seat and Jared in the back.

"I don't need anything, just wanted to chat. Can I come in?" You asked.

"Why not? Get a full carpool going in here." Clif joked.

You opened the back door and slid in next to Jared, relishing in the icy cold blast coming from the vents.

"I didn't know it was supposed to be this hot today." You said, leaning back into the soft seats.

"Me neither. I thought today was supposed to be cooler. At least that's what the weather said." Jensen said.

"You old people and your weather. Who needs a forecast when you got a front patio?" Jared teased.

"Yeah well, look who's sitting in the cold car. Hm?" Jensen teased back.

Jared stuck his tongue out at Jensen before going back to his phone, causing you to smile.

"How are you guys holding up?" You asked.

"Other than hot, I'm pretty good." Jensen said.

"I bet you are." Jared teased again. "I'm finally cooling off; Tracy from makeup had to reapply my foundation, again."

"He sweats like a fish, trust me." Jensen said.

"Fish don't even sweat!" Jared said with a laugh.

"Whatever." Jensen said.

"Where did you even come up with a phrase like that?" You asked in between giggling.

"I don't know! Just the first thing I thought of, I guess." Jensen said.

"Oookay then." You said, looking down at the time on your phone. "Whoops, it's been over five minutes. We gotta get back."

The two of them groaned, causing you to shrug. 

"Hey, you chose this job not me." You said, getting out of the car.

You ran back to your chair and pulled out your walkie, signaling for everyone to resume their positions.

"Alright everyone, places!" You yelled. "And… action!"

-------

After the scorching day had finally ended, you decided to head home for the night. As nice as it would be to go home with Jensen, you decided he would probably like some space. Plus, you were dead tired, and nothing would keep you away from your somewhat comfortable mattress. But before you could even think about that, your phone began to go off in your pocket. You looked down and pulled it out. It was Jensen.

“Just checking in after the long day we had. Hope you sleep well :).”

You smiled and began to text back. Check in.. Your mind had again wandered to your friend, Sue. Despite being tired, you had it in you to make one more check in tonight. You owed it to her, that was the very least.

“Thanks Jay (is it okay if I call you that?); I’m all good, just a little beat. Gonna hit the hay soon. xoxo” You texted.

You hit send and switched over to the phone app, dialing your friend’s number. You paused; was this the right move? You couldn’t help but think of all of the what ifs. Would she even want to hear from you? You took a deep breath and tried to ignore the quelling anxiety as the dial tone began. She answered on the third ring.

“Hello?” She asked.

“Sue, hey it’s (Y/N).” You said.

“Oh my god! Do my ears deceive me? How the hell are ya?” She asked.

You chuckled lightly. “I know, it’s been a while.. Sorry about that. I’m not too bad. I finally got that job I wanted.. with some other complications of course.” 

“I’m so happy for you!” She began.

You smiled at her radiating energy; that was one thing you always adored about her. Just by being around her, you could practically see the whole room change. She wasn’t necessarily the life of the party, but there was always a party around her. You hadn’t realized how much you missed it, as introverted as you could be.

“So, you mentioned other complications. Tell me what’s going on; you seem a bit.. not you.” She continued.

You sighed. “Well, I know I haven’t been exactly open with you about this, but mentally… I don’t know. I guess you could say I haven’t been doing too well. Lots of anxieties and doubts. Some from the new job, some just from everything in general. It’s been rough;” You rubbed your neck absently. “Actually, it’s been the main reason I haven’t been in contact with you lately.”

“Don’t worry about it (Y/N/N), I get it. You should have told me sooner, you know I’ve always been there for ya. And remember what your dad has always said..”

“The fight is best won with not one, but two.” You both said simultaneously.

“Yeah, I know.” You said. “I guess I just got so caught up in everything, that I forgot.”

“It happens. Hell, even if you have to put it on a sticky note somewhere..” Sue said.

“That’s actually a good idea.” You said. “Thanks Sue.”

“Of course, it’s what I’m here for.” She said.

“How have you been?” You asked.

“Eh, same as usual. You know me, always getting around.” She said. “I want to hear more about you though! You’ve had to have your share of excitement as a director so far. Meet any famous people?”

“Well, I'm actually dating someone I just started working with, one of the actors actually. We’ve hit it off pretty well. As far as famous actors or actresses go.. I’m not sure how famous these guys are, as I’ve never really watched their show.” You explained.

“Oh wow, congrats! That’s good to hear you’ve found someone. What are their names?” She asked.

“Well, the one I’m dating is named Jensen-”

“Don’t tell me, Ackles?”

“...Yeah?”

“(Y/N), you’re dating Jensen motherfucking Ackles?!”

“...Yeah?”

You heard her squeal momentarily before returning back to the phone.

“Dude, I love Supernatural! These guys are pretty famous, as far as I’m concerned!” She said.

“You would totally get along with Jared too, by the way. He’s a little bit like you.” You commented.

She gasped. “Really?” I’ve always been a Dean girl, but it seems like you’re the number one Dean girl now.”

“Oh hush.” You said, knowing she could see you blush without even being present.

She laughed. “I’m really happy for you, (Y/N). I hope things continue to work out for you.”

“Thanks Sue. Hey, I didn’t call you at a bad time, did I?” You asked.

“Hearing from you? There’s never a bad time.” She said.

You smiled. “Well, I got a long day ahead of me. It was good talking with you.”

“It was good hearing from you (Y/N), sleep well.” She said.

You could only wish you did sleep well that night.