#break up the paragraphs
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pepsinister · 1 year ago
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tw: broken frontal bone tw: broken left parietal bone tw: broken right parietal bone tw: broken left temporal bone tw: broken right temporal bone tw: broken occipital bone tw: broken sphenoid bone tw: broken ethmoid bone tw: broken mandible tw: broken left maxilla tw: broken right maxilla tw: broken left palantine bone tw: broken right palantine bone tw: broken left zygomatic bone tw: broken right zygomatic bone tw: broken left nasal bone tw: broken right nasal bone tw: broken left lacrimal bone tw: broken right lacrimal bone tw: broken vomer tw: broken left nasal conchae tw: broken right nasal conchae tw: broken left malleus tw: broken right malleus tw: broken left incus tw: broken right incus tw: broken left stapes tw: broken right stapes tw: broken hyoid tw: broken left scapula tw: broken right scapula tw: broken left clavicle tw: broken right clavicle tw: broken sternum tw: broken left rib 1 tw: broken left rib 2 tw: broken left rib 3 tw: broken left rib 4 tw: broken left rib 5 tw: broken left rib 6 tw: broken left rib 7 tw: broken left rib 8 tw: broken left rib 9 tw: broken left rib 10 tw: broken left rib 11 tw: broken left rib 12 tw: broken right rib 1 tw: broken right rib 2 tw: broken right rib 3 tw: broken right rib 4
tw: broken right rib 5 tw: broken right rib 6 tw: broken right rib 7 tw: broken right rib 8 tw: broken right rib 9 tw: broken right rib 10 tw: broken right rib 11 tw: broken right rib 12 tw: broken cervical vertebra 1 tw: broken cervical vertebra 2 tw: broken cervical vertebra 3 tw: broken cervical vertebra 4 tw: broken cervical vertebra 5 tw: broken cervical vertebra 6 tw: broken cervical vertebra 7 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 1 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 2 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 3 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 4 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 5 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 6 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 7 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 8 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 9 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 10 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 11 tw: broken thoracic vertebra 12 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 1 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 2 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 3 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 4 tw: broken lumbar vertebra 5 tw: broken sacrum tw: broken coccyx tw: broken left humerus tw: broken right humerus tw: broken left radius tw: broken right radius tw: broken left ulna tw: broken right ulna tw: broken left scaphoid bone tw: broken right scaphoid bone tw: broken left lunate bone tw: broken right lunate bone tw: broken left triquetral bone tw: broken right triquetral bone tw: broken left pisiform bone
tw: broken right pisiform bone tw: broken left trapezium tw: broken right trapezium tw: broken left trapezoid bone tw: broken right trapezoid bone tw: broken left capitate bone tw: broken right capitate bone tw: broken left hamate bone tw: broken right hamate bone tw: broken left metacarpal 1 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 2 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 3 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 4 bone tw: broken left metacarpal 5 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 1 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 2 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 3 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 4 bone tw: broken right metacarpal 5 bone tw: broken left proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 5 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 5 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 1 tw: broken left distal phalanx 2 tw: broken left distal phalanx 3 tw: broken left distal phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 5 tw: broken right distal phalanx 1 tw: broken right distal phalanx 2 tw: broken right distal phalanx 3 tw: broken right distal phalanx 4 tw: broken right distal phalanx 5 tw: broken left innominate bone tw: broken right innominate bone tw: broken left femur tw: broken right femur
tw: broken left patella tw: broken right patella tw: broken left tibia tw: broken right tibia tw: broken left fibula tw: broken right fibula tw: broken left calcaneus tw: broken right calcaneus tw: broken left talus tw: broken right talus tw: broken left navicular bone tw: broken right navicular bone tw: broken left medial cuneiform bone tw: broken right medial cuneiform bone tw: broken left intermediate cuneiform bone tw: broken right intermediate cuneiform bone tw: broken left lateral cuneiform bone tw: broken right lateral cuneiform bone tw: broken left cuboid bone tw: broken right cuboid bone tw: broken left metatarsal 1 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 2 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 3 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 4 bone tw: broken left metatarsal 5 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 1 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 2 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 3 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 4 bone tw: broken right metatarsal 5 bone tw: broken left proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken left proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 1 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 2 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 3 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 4 tw: broken right proximal phalanx 5 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 1 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 1 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 2 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 3 tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 1 tw: broken left distal phalanx 2 tw: broken left distal phalanx 3 tw: broken left distal phalanx 4 tw: broken left distal phalanx 5 tw: broken right distal phalanx 1 tw: broken right distal phalanx 2 tw: broken right distal phalanx 3 tw: broken right distal phalanx 4 tw: broken right distal phalanx 5
tw: bruising
just had a bad accident
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svtskneecaps · 6 months ago
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i also just want to point out the qsmp members' commitment to like never letting the inactive members die. like dantdm logged on twice and is canonically dead and everyone continues to blame mysterious happenstance on him. spreen is canonically dead and yet people are still like namedropping him even tho the house façade he built has been demolished and also probably consumed by a mountain. they meme on kameto who's barely been on except that time he was a fed spy that was iconic as hell. they just immortalize their members and they're always so happy to see old faces come back and it lowkey makes me emotional lmfaoo like missa barely logged on for a while but goddamn nobody forgot his name bc philza can't go one day without mentioning him and mariana barely logs on but every time fit saw the homeless mariana in roier's city no matter what he'd stop dead and tell it "come home" and when slime came back to the server for elections after having logged off for the last like two months everyone was still excited to meet him bc the others had kept his memories on the server fresh and alive, maxo died canonically in the nuke and pierre pasted his face all over the server, luzu vanished for months and we never forgot him either thanks to the computers and foolish's wack ass family tree. like when purgatory teams were chosen and team red constantly joked about how it would be so over for the other teams once germán logged on despite the fact that germán had only ever logged on ONCE, the way they cheered when they snatched rubius in the split of green despite the fact that rubius hadn't logged on more than twice since march. they just keep the names alive all the time and it's like
it just makes me really happy to see. like it makes me really happy. like the admin team and the members alike are like 'no way in HELL are we letting your memory go' like damn once ur on isla quesadilla you really are stuck as an islander forever :D
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gailynovelry · 1 month ago
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I don’t like getting intense over petty things, but why are people calling large paragraphs “bad formatting” now. It’s just formatting. Sometimes, a larger paragraph serves its text well, and sometimes it doesn’t, and there is a LOT more that goes into making a text block readable than length alone.
Please please please fucking please stop inventing all-encompassing arbitrary rules about what features define “good” art and “bad” art.
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a-mint-bear · 9 months ago
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Yandere Boy Types
The Stalker
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● Knows everything about you. Your birthday, favorite color, animal, food? That's easy! Give him a hard one. He knows what shows you're watching lately, what you get for takeout, who you talk to every day. He even knows what you wrote about him in your journal. You're using a new toothpaste lately. He's taking notes.
● Has been in your place dozens of times, goes through your drawers and lays in your bed and sniffs your pillow. Maybe even some other stuff he can't mention in polite company... Sometimes you notice things out of place, maybe? Missing things too. Maybe it's just your imagination.
● You dismiss that feeling of someone watching you or following you, thinking you're just being paranoid. But he tends to show up when you go out. Isn't that just such a coincidence? You should totally come sit at his table at the coffee shop though, why not?
● Has lots of pictures of you. LOTS. You smiling for the camera, reading on the park bench, in line at your usual pharmacy, even some when you were pretty sure you were alone. Is that you sleeping?
The Actor
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● Pretends to be whatever you need him to be to win you over. Maybe you like sporty guys? He did track and field in school and he's training for a marathon, you wanna join him for runs? Artsy guys your thing? He loves to paint, has for years! Shy boys are the cutest, right? He stutters and looks away when he sees you. He totally didn't mean to touch your hand just then, so sorry!
● You mentioned to a friend you like guys who like animals? Guess who just got a puppy! You like strawberries? They're his favorite! Wow, you have the same coffee order, what are the odds? He thought you liked it when guys paint their nails? Oh, you think that color would look better? He's already adding it to his cart.
● He can't remember what his favorite song used to be, he's been listening to that band you're into lately. What kind of cake does he like? Well, whatever you want him to like! That stuff isn't important anyway. Just tell him what you want him to be into, he'll love it!
● Doesn't understand why you don't just fall for him already, but he'll pretend as long as it takes. He'll be anyone you want him to be, he doesn't need anything or want anything if it's not to make you look his way. You don't feel the same way about him? That's okay! He can change! Just...tell him what you want!
The Loner
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● On his own a lot for one reason or another, but when he met you, there was just something about you... Maybe it was a friendly smile you sent his way, or just how your hair looked. Maybe you were just there on a bad day. But whatever the reason, he can't seem to forget you.
● You're meeting up with friends? You should hang out with him instead. You have to get ready for work? A sick day never hurt anyone. And you deserve a day off. He would love it if you just spent every day with him. Just him.
● Sometimes his possessiveness is cute. He pouts when you answer your phone when you're together. He stares daggers at the overly-flirty cashier at the convenience store. He shoves the touchy-feely guy on the street off you and walks you home. Sometimes it's not so cute. He is convinced that your best guy friend is in love with you and it pisses him off. If anyone accidentally touches you he's up in their face. It's not you he doesn't trust. You're just too cute, of course everyone would want you like he does.
● He just wishes you didn't need anyone other than him. You're his whole world. Why can't you see he just wants to be with you all the time? Why won't you only look at him? Can't you see how much he loves you? There's no one else like you. You're it for him. No one else even comes close.
The Devotee
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● Worships you. You are the light of his life, why he gets out of bed in the morning, his reason for being. His every waking thought is consumed by you. Every time he sees you, it's like a radiant light surrounds you. He can't look away.
● Adores you. You know who's so cute? You, of course! The way you move, all your little habits, the look in your eyes when you see him. He's never seen such a flawless human being. Everything you don't like about yourself is just one more thing he finds so charming about you. If you let him, he would never stop touching and kissing every inch of you.
● Would die for you. Just say the word. If you ever needed him to suffer for any reason, he wouldn't even hesitate. Yell at him, push him, shove him? It hurts, but that's okay! As long as he's near you, he's in heaven. If it made you happy, he'd do anything. He doesn't matter! All that matters is you.
● Would kill for you. That creep at the bar who gets a bit too handsy with you? Gone. That coworker who made you cry in the bathroom at work? Gone. Maybe that neighbor who looks at you just a bit too long on your walks? Gone. You and your best friend had a fight? Gone. No one appreciates you like he does. No one else deserves you!
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shepfax · 2 years ago
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as things start gearing up for Autism Acceptance Month I am going to make an effort to share stuff from nonverbal, high support needs, and other words for "severely" autistic people (especially from marginalized groups like autistic people of color) and I think others should too. I chose to do this because I am very deeply opposed to the way low support people have gone about destigmatizing autism.
me, I am the epitome of the white "geeky" autistic that I read about in books from specialists and historians: I had no speech delay, I'm capable of many self-maintenance tasks like hygiene and food, but I still am not independent and I struggle greatly with social situations, show repetitive behavior, and have sensory integration problems.
by making it seem like autism is just a label for quirky people that get really into tv shows, prefer small silverware, and fidget sometimes, you've come all the way back around to encouraging ignorance. you've started to push people with more disabling autistic traits into the background of your activism or even tried to pretend your activism doesn't apply to them.
obviously it's important to acknowledge and share the ways that autistic people who can speak and maintain independence still struggle immensely in a neurotypical world, because that is something the vast majority of people still don't understand. but we need to do better at emphasizing the ways people's autism affects their lives, and advocating for the rights of people with different needs than our own.
this might seem harsh to say but it really seems like some of you are ashamed to be associated with people from different parts of the autism spectrum than you. why claim the label then?
when you see someone talk about an experience you didn't have, always make an effort to learn something from it.
come together with people from all points on the autism spectrum. make friends with them and listen to their voice, whether it's spoken or not.
it is called neurodiversity for a reason. our brains are extremely diverse, and that's why it's important to make sure you are not your only source.
if you look at one person on the spectrum, even if that person is you, that is one autistic person, and you can't make claims about autism based on that person alone.
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lastofthe20thcenturygirls · 8 months ago
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(ln8 spoilers) jinshi thinking except for my godly looks i am just average and then his smartass goes and kills around five birds with just one brand. someone whose status is so high that even his name can't be said by anyone except the emperor jinshi branded himself with the crest of the empress vowing loyalty to her assuring her he doesn't wants to take the place of her son. one-upping his "bro" with this who refuses to let him leave the line of succession wouldn't let him become a commoner doesn't wants to let him become a servant to the royal family. only slaves get branded and if this ever got out there will be chaos in the court. gyokuyou tho considers jinshi like a brother and he did swear loyalty to her but if she ever tried to cross his family her clan's brand on his body would be enough to prove her as an adultress which would be bad for her and her clan.
and jinshi did this in front of these two people and maomao so now she is the only one who can see him naked and the emperor cannot order him to marry anyone which was something that was definitely gonna happen had he not done what he did. as a bonus he gets to spend more time with maomao after a long time and he did all this while saying the exact words: empress gyokuyou, your enemy i shall never be in front of maomao reassuring her because she once muttered i don't want to be an enemy to empress gyokuyou and he had heard her but before he could tell her that he had no intention of doing that either he couldn't because of the lishu incident. one of the major reasons maomao hadn't accepted her own feelings for jinshi one of the obstacles he promised to remove for her. even though he doesn't even know that maomao's concerns about her becoming gyokuyou's enemy had to do with his birth secret his true status. that no matter what he is the rightful successor. something jinshi himself isn't even aware of and yet without knowing that he did this to deal with it all in a single way most preferable to him: masochism
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turrondeluxe · 1 year ago
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thinking about 2007 b team today again and how donnie and mikey where literally always with each other one way or another
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quite literally just a mention of their names away at all times
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AND THE FACT THAT THEY BOTH THINK THAT WAY ("it's only me and donnie now" "it's only me and mikey")EVEN IF RAPH IS STILL LIVING WITH THEM BECAUSE THEIR FAMILY IS JUST GETTING MORE DISTANT EACH PASSING SECOND OF EACH PASSING DAY. THEY TRULY FEEL LIKE THEY ONLY HAVE EACH OTHER. LIKE THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES LEFT.
i can write so many essays about them and how they hang onto each other as much as possible after leo left because they both feel like if they let go in any way they will lose the only brother they have left and they Refuse to do that.
thinking also specifically on how donatello probably looked at mikey, his only little brother, and decided that he was not going to do the same thing his two older brothers did to them both (leave them behind)
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mcybree · 4 months ago
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I prepared this ask in the Notes app only for Tumblr to not let me copy and paste the text so here’s a screenshot bc I’m not typing all that again lol
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there’s this funny trend i see in trafficblr art, in that, when there’s a lineup of every past winner, most players will be surrounded by symbols that were relevant to their POV, and perhaps drawn with the last emotion they’d felt just before death (or maybe just whatever emotion the artist most associates with the character). The winners might be doing something, or in a pose that reflects how they won—there are a million ways to make a life series winners’ piece. What’s funny about it is that no one ever seems to know what to do with Scott. He’s most often just standing there looking mildly disgruntled. And for the symbols he’s most depicted with, it’s typically poppies, which are only relevant to the first season; last life scott does not place any importance on poppies, poppies dont ever come up beyond a brief interaction in episode 1, and jimmy as a whole is less relevant to scott’s pov in last life than he is in every other season.
not that this is an issue with the art; the pieces are beautifully done, it’s just representative of how little fandom discussion there is about scott’s win thematically. Most discussion I see are about the watchers and how they hate scott for defying him or whatever, but watcher lore is not discussion of the series itself as much as it is a fan creation that is retroactively applied to create meaning.
Scott’s Last Life win, to me, was achieved through accomplishing what Third Life Scott could not.
Scott spent 3L waiting for his day one ally to die. He kept Jimmy at a distance, often fully gearing himself up first before backtracking to help Jimmy along. There’s a funny disparity in episode 5, where Jimmy spends the entire episode trying to get good enchants on his iron armor, while Scott sets up a villager and gets good enchants for the full diamond set that he’d already had in storage, in about half the time Jimmy took trying to accomplish his own goal, iirc. This disparity is also something scott acknowledges with the “I’ll always be more powerful than you” line, but it’s been a while since ive written a post like this so i unfortunately do not have the episode number memorized on that one anymore. But Scott goes on to explain that he’ll always have better armor and weapons, which is why Jimmy could never kill him. This is all to say that Jimmy and Scott do not stand on equal grounds in their alliance, and, more importantly, Scott does not depend on Jimmy. The progress Scott makes in Third Life is entirely his own, with Jimmy as more of an afterthought than a teammate.
This is what landed Scott his all time lowest placement. After Jimmy dies first, Scott loses sight of his priorities and dedicates his remaining time alive to avenging Jimmy, rather than focusing on his own longevity (like he’d go on to do in future seasons). And, in that way, Scott’s attitude towards Jimmy (disposable, going to die, unreliable) was an indirect contributor to Scott’s low placement.
In contrast: Scott could not have won Last Life without Pearl. Scott has to rely on Pearl from day 1, having only two lives to start with himself. Pearl gives Scott two lives total. Pearl and Scott are almost always together. They made it to the final four by each other’s side. And that forced day 1 reliance on pearl breaks down the role scott typically assumes (*he’s* supposed to be the person people rely on, he’s supposed to be the one bringing everything to the table) which curbs his tendency to see himself as above others, which then allows for the most genuine happiness i have ever seen him have in an alliance.
The comparison between the way Scott talks to Pearl and the way Scott talks to Jimmy is like night and day. Scott doesn’t compliment or otherwise say anything supportive towards Jimmy (save for the “I believe in you! MCC has trained you for this moment!” during Jimmy’s dare to flare attempt) until after Jimmy has already died. With Pearl, however, Scott is much more open about his care towards her, saying that she’s his best friend and that he loves her as early as episode 2. There’s more examples but between last life and third life, Scott’s attitude towards his primary ally is completely different, and i think it’s symptomatic of Scott allowing himself to love and be vulnerable rather than keeping himself at a distance. And i think that it’s so special that scott won the season where he was so close with his day one alliance, directly because of his day one alliance.
because, to me, one of scott’s defining characteristics is his self reliance. He will have allies, yes, but he often assumes a supportive role and acts as a supplier. He doesnt like taking things from other people. Last Life is different because Scott relies on Pearl, too. It’s also not a coincidence that last life is the only season where scott is normal about jimmy but that’s a different post
tldr yes scott won last life with the power of love but not in the way people say he did (ignoring the boogeyman curse was strategy ☝️)
I SHOULD NOTE, though, that the boogeyman curse was still a fail. Although purposeful, Scott receives the penalty and apologizes to his team. He says he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. I do think that his words here aren’t fully honest— he’d admitted earlier that this choice was fully for strategy. But I also think his apologetic attitude here is genuine. Scott is a perfectionist, he needs to succeed; failing, though purposeful, still hurts. He feels the need to apologize. It means so much to me that his win in last life directly follows the choice to fail on purpose. I’m insane though idk
third life scott embodies scotts flaws while last life scott is him overcoming them 👍 is what im trying to say 👍 last life scott is everything that third life scott could not bring himself to be, in allowing himself to love and depend on other people and overall just be a person.
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robiinurheart33 · 5 months ago
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Before, when ghost was still Simon and his mom still looked presentable enough to go out in public, she would take him and Tommy out to the pier near their house.
He can still remember; every Friday night after dinner, when his dad passed out in front of the television. The three of them would sneak out of the house and Simon would giggle, pretending as if they were ninjas, holding onto little Tommy’s pudgy body. His mom would buy him a tiny little ice cream cone for each of them and sit at the boardwalks, watching the sun go down for its rest.
“Have you ever heard of the green flash, Simon?” She would hum, green eyes near sparking in the golden hour.
“Nope.” He popped his lips at the last letter, his lips sticky from the dessert.
“Just when the sun sets, there’s a slight moment where at the veeeerrry horizon - there, you see?” She points to where the sun is now meeting the sea, Simon squinting dramatically and placing his hand above his eyes.
“…yeah.”
“Just for a split second, you can’t blink or you’ll miss it. A green flash will appear just after the sun disappears.”
“You’re lying!”
“I’m not! I’m being dead serious!” She straightens her back, an amused smile twitching at the corner of her mouth as she holds a sleeping Tommy to her chest. Simon swings his legs back and forth, contemplating.
“Look, just see for yourself. It’s gonna happen soon.” A small, childish tone laces her words as they both turn to the horizon, eyes zoned in on where the sun is setting.
Sure enough - right as the sun collapses into a bright ball peeking over the sea, a bright, almost inconspicuous green flash appears.
“I saw it! I saw it!” Simon vibrates in excitement, pointing at the sea and smiling brightly at his mom. She smiles back, smile lines appearing and wrinkles returning as she giggles.
“See? Wasn’t that awesome?”
“So awesome!”
Simon keeps that memory tucked closely next to his cold heart, one of the few good memories of his childhood he can still remember vividly. The smell of the ocean, the stickiness of his lips and hands, the texture of wet wood under his fingertips, his mother’s lopsided smile, the sound of the ocean and the exact shade of green that appeared.
He knows that shade of green like the back of his hand. He knows it because none of the trees, leaves, grass ever came close to how intense it was. Simon used to naively believe that that shade of green was only special for him and his mother. (Sans Tommy, because he was asleep)
But now, staring into Johnny, his Johnny’s eyes, the same exact shade of green that appeared in the sky 25 years ago, Simon doesn’t believe that anymore. The same shade of green smoke plumes up behind Johnny, surrounding him like a possessive hug. It felt sickeningly wrong. His eyes aren’t green. His eyes aren’t green. He knows it because he’s spent the last 478 days burning the image of him into his mind, not wanting to forget him, ever. His eyes aren’t green.
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dwangan-wonpwa · 2 years ago
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11 things that kokichi ouma hates, in no particular order:
literal murder
absence of free will
being vulnerable
meaningless violence
lying to oneself
lies made for absolutely nothing but the sake of seriously hurting people on purpose—malicious lies, to put it short
people who make said lies
boredom
when you manipulate a trustworthy person to kill another person you were cooperating with, and in the trial you "realize" the former is "lying" so well that you—someone who's talent is based off of your ability to read people—can't even detect their tells, meaning that they were so much smarter than you realize, but despite their intelligence they still choose to play the "façade" of a clueless, innocent idiot. so you condemn them, to try to corner them out of their lies—out of disdain for being deceived this whole time, out of fear for having lost control since you can't see past their act, out of pity for someone that has been hiding behind a falsehood like the same way you have for the entirety of this killing game, or out of the desperate need to prove yourself wrong, that they were a liar to be kind to people, like you, like DICE, you can't pinpoint the reason why. maybe it's some, maybe it's all of them. either way, they don't let go of their "mask," insisting that they don't know anything, they're a gentleman, and gentlemen wouldn't kill people, honest! again and again, the same illogical attempts at a defense that everyone else just accepts. you wonder: why are they sticking to this front so stubbornly (you're asking that?), when they can just play along and defend themselves with a lie to incriminate you further? almost everyone would believe them anyway. what you've saw, what you've done, what you've realized, everything that's been happening… it's too much. you snap. if they understand that, then why aren't they doing it right? argue back already. use your head and make logical arguments to reach the verdict both of us want. just make an excuse or whatever. they still don't relent, and they go with the same answer: i don't know anything. you're so sick of hearing that, it's what they've been saying this whole time. you yell and scream at them with frustration, your composure breaking, before the detective reveals a truth that explains their behavior: they don't remember killing anyone. at this point, you know it's over, since the detective is bound to figure out the truth, and everyone is listening to him, so you speed up the trial to end it as quickly as possible. you antagonize your former partner, to ensure they die with hatred towards you, if they didn't already. but they don't. they don't hate you, even asking everyone to remain be friends with each other, including you. they get sent to death with tears and guilt, without knowing why they killed in the first place. you manipulated someone so kind into murder, berated them, and sent them to their death.
pig feet
those little monokub cunts
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kylejsugarman · 4 months ago
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hey I lurk for your Breaking Bad content. please give me all of your Jesse in Alaska/recovery headcanons. I need it like I need air.
jesse in alaska.......where do i even begin 😔 im going to avoid lingering too much on my alaska oc's and that little world (tldr for newcomers: jesse gets to haines, starts working at a repair/custom shop called carvings owned by sheila, and befriends and falls in love with the local vet demi who is raising her niece baby) just because there are Plenty of those posts and i want to focus more on jesse himself
this is one ive talked about before, but its just so precious to me, and thats jesse getting into cooking. at first, him learning how to do it is out of pure necessity. the canned food that ed left him only lasts for a few weeks and the prepackaged stuff at the store is all queasily redolent of the "treats" (<- meager sustenance) that were dropped into his cage, so he picks up a box of dry pasta and looks at the recipe for chicken penne printed on the box. it has all the steps, the ingredients. he was always good at following a recipe. jesse dutifully buys the stuff and what begins as him robotically following the text later on in his small, dim kitchen starts to feel. Good. there's no harsh fumes or chemical burns. he doesnt have to measure the garlic down to a hundredth of a gram. he has a recipe to follow—something to guide him—but nothing awful is going to happen if he experiments a little. if he deviates. and he isn't making poison. he's making something Good. for so, so long, jesse only Destroyed and when he did create, it was poison. now he gets to do what he wants. he gets to make good. that chicken penne is the first thing he eats in weeks that actually has flavor—or maybe he's letting himself Taste again. jesse starts cooking more and more, using those supermarket recipes and eventually recipes that he prints off from the public library computers, and even once it becomes a part of his daily routine, he never loses that weird excitement for it. there's the satisfaction of successfully executing a task even with his memory issues and adhd, but also the excitement of realizing over and over that he can do what he wants.
jesse thinks he's "done" with drugs when he gets to alaska purely because he hasn't been able to use and doesnt have immediate access to anything stronger than alcohol or tobacco, but he quickly realizes that he does not have any other kind of coping mechanism ready to deploy or way to sufficiently distract himself once he's physically and mentally well enough to Be Aware. alcohol doesnt seem to "work" fast enough. he thinks over and over about hiring a sex worker or finding a bar somewhere so he can have sex with and fall asleep next to a warm, living body. he drives for hours and sometimes hits the brakes hard on the icy road when theres no one else out there, letting himself skid uncontrollably and hoping he crashes. he wants to start a fight with a stranger. he wants to hug a stranger. and he does end up using drugs again, several times. i mean he's a severely traumatized addict arriving in a new location with zero support. it's not a failure, it's not irreversible backsliding: it's just the reality of what being in this terrifying, vulnerable situation would be like for jesse. for a long time, he sees these relapses as signs of weakness and that Certain People were right about him being a pathetic junkie with no will or value, but as he starts meeting people and finding new ways to be happy and getting the right treatment for his various issues and sometimes even sitting in NA church basement meetings because he just needs to be Understood, jesse comes around to the idea that addiction is not a moral failing and sees his life as worthy enough to safely and healthily preserve.
lightning round!! jesse decides once he arrives to grow his hair and facial hair out some to look less like his old mugshot, but also because as soon as the cold winter air touches his shaved head, he basically reverts to spongebob and patrick duct-taping fur off of sandy to survive in her dome during winter. he stops to stare in awe at eagles and whales and moose even after years and years of living in alaska. his sense of smell is nearly totally destroyed from cooking without protection, but he still always buys lemon scented soap and cleaning stuff because lemon was his aunt ginny's favorite scent. he reads up on a lot of first-aid on the public library computers, sometimes out of a sense of frantic compulsion or guilt, sometimes out of legitimate curiosity. when he drives home from doctors appointments or NA meetings, he plays the music in his car so loud that his seat shakes. the people of haines know that mr driscoll can be a little cagey and will flinch at the sound of his own laugh, but they also know that he brakes for animals and carves beautiful gadrooning and buys ten of whatever the kids are selling to raise money for the band or their scout troop. and they like him quite a bit :)
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silusvesuius · 6 months ago
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unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP
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retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also can’t help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).
Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardest🙄) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping. 
if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brain… idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to neloth… i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know
^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)… i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and … UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises
even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as umm…stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him.. i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it gross😕 but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you
even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew it… the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it …..😦 so you really do like young men … and you're in love with me ..😨" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless so🤷‍♀️ take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know he’s not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks it’s a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird. 
there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesn’t even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmm……yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like ‘Oh wow Master Neloth obviously doesn’t get any female attention or anything cus he’s a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me 🥺 *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well i’ll figure something out i guess’ (he doesn’t) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals neloth’s book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me he’s so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher neloth’s handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but i’m not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn it’s too much . what ever. i think i’m done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word ‘abuse’ is used: 6
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melon-official · 7 months ago
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She wails as though a part of her has died.
oh man. i picked up the sidestory to @just-a-carrot's five-arc horror epic a couple days ago and i'm so glad i did. i'll probably be talking nonstop and/or drawing about it for days
there's a handful of whiteboard doodles with other characters under the cut, but rly i just wanted to pay a homage to the scene that hit me the hardest... enjoy
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seriousbrat · 2 days ago
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How do you think others perceived Lily and James' relationship once they started dating?
Many people seem to believe the main obstacle was that Lily hated James, but both the author and other characters clarify that this wasn’t true. It’s more likely that she found him too immature at first, but not that she actually hated him.
What I like to focus on, however, is the idea that the real challenge in their relationship may have been tied to blood status and the societal pressure that came with it. I can see how some people who weren’t purists themselves might still harbor biases against Muggle-borns, leading them to distance themselves from them in an attempt to evade the attention of real purists. People might see it as foolish for these two to be together. Others, especially those who had crushes on James, might wonder why he would choose a Muggle-born when he could easily be with someone who is half-blood or pure-blood. The most extreme ones would gossip and say hurtful things that no teenage couple would want to hear.
It’s been mentioned multiple times that Harry, at his core, takes after Lily. We see how he broke up with Ginny to protect her, so I can imagine that, while Lily may not have wanted to break up with James in the same way, she might have been hesitant to enter relationships. During the time they lived in, being friends with a Muggle-born is one thing, but dating one is another.
There isn’t much information about the Potter family, but James’ black-and-white woldview likely came from them. To him, you’re either opposed to blood purity, or you’re on the wrong side. The Potters have a long history of being open toward Muggles, and there’s some great meta on Tumblr that explores James’ grandfather, Henry, and his support for Muggles during World War I. The theory suggests that if Henry lived in Godric’s Hollow, surrounded by Muggles, he might have formed friendships with them and watched as generations of men he knew were lost to the war. This could explain his disappointment with the Wizengamot’s ignorance to Muggle suffering. That frustration may have carried over to his son Fleamont, who later passed it on to James. Therefore, I think that James's parents were more familiar with Muggles than Weasleys, and that's why they had no problems with Lily
Another thing to consider is that Lily and James were asked to join Voldemort when they came of age, which in wizarding society is 17. This would place them in the latter part of their sixth year at Hogwarts. While it’s harder to pinpoint exactly when Lily was approached (and even more puzzling as to why Voldemort would recruit her), we know from the prequel, set in 1977, that James and Sirius were already being pursued by Death Eaters at that time.
On a subconscious level, James likely felt a sense of security in his status, which would have been completely shattered by the attempt to recruit him, especially since Voldemort had a habit of killing those who refused him. Moreover, it would be a harsh blow for him to realize that the Death Eaters even thought someone like him could be persuaded to join them.
the real challenge in their relationship may have been tied to blood status and the societal pressure that came with it.
I mean, I think this was something that was definitely operating on some level in their relationship, as well as class-- the Potters were very wealthy, while Lily was from a working-class Muggle family. I think these two things caused some difference between them and possibly some friction or argument, but I don't think it was a HUGE challenge in their relationship, exactly.
I had another anon mention recently that they thought Lily would have been very careful around dating purebloods because of her Muggle-born status (and I didn't address it because my reply was long enough lol) but I don't see this as particularly true, honestly. Not for how I see Lily's character-- generally trusting, determined to see the good in others-- but also not for the way I think the general culture at Hogwarts is in canon, even during the first war.
Similarly, I sometimes find it a bit exaggerated in fics when everyone at Hogwarts, including Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs, openly despises and shuns Lily for being Muggleborn and goes around insulting her. Not only do we know she was popular at school, personally I think that's also a bit of an oversimplification of what we see in canon. That's not to say bigotry didn't exist among non-Slytherins; I'm going to try and explain this as well as I can because I think it's quite complex, and also quite complex to portray.
The way bigotry against Muggle-borns functions in mainstream wizarding society appears to be in general quite subtle, largely rooted in apathy and a sort of seemingly "benign prejudice," the "Cornelius Fudge Mindset," if you will. Unless you're in a very particular pureblood supremacist context, it's not socially acceptable to openly call someone a Mudblood, as we see in the Gryffindor team's reactions to Malfoy using the slur in CoS. Your average Hufflepuff is likely not going to be actively hostile towards Muggle-borns-- remember that those three houses include and have always included plenty of Muggle-born students.
Ernie MacMillan and Hannah Abbott, both purebloods, are very fierce in their defence of Justin Finch-Fletchley in CoS. In OotP we learn that Ernie's family, who definitely lived through the first war, has similar views to his, which is where he probably learnt them. I think simply growing up in a house alongside Muggle-born kids helps with this immensely.
Open bigotry has festered so acutely in Slytherin because Muggle-borns are NOT allowed to be sorted into the house (ik people differ on this but I understood it as the Hat physically cannot sort them into Slytherin by design.) Any half-bloods like Snape probably learn quickly to downplay their Muggle side.
As I said, though, bigotry still exists, even among non-Slytherin purebloods, and the subtle nature of it doesn't make things any less difficult for Muggle-borns. I brought this up in my fic when a pureblood girl on the Gryffindor team, who has a crush on James, can't understand why he'd date Lily because 'they don't have anything in common.' But James has to drag this confession out of her, and she's (rightly) very, very ashamed of herself immediately upon expressing it in public. And this sort of prejudice can be much harder to see and combat, because it usually goes unspoken. It exists, though, and it's the reason why anti-muggleborn propaganda was accepted so easily in DH. (though per Arthur, not by everyone- most are just too scared to do anything about it.)
Many purebloods might assume that Muggle-borns are less talented at magic like Slughorn does, but I think most normal people wouldn't generally say this to a Muggle-born's face, and on some level they'd recognise that this belief is shameful (as Slughorn appears to do: "You mustn't think me prejudiced!") Even if they believe it, it would simply be impolite. These people wouldn't consider themselves bigoted, they might even have Muggle-born friends and colleagues. But ultimately they wouldn't do anything to actively address the struggles that Muggle-borns face (especially out of fear during the war,) nor would they stop to question the world around them. They might not question, for example, why Muggle-borns are passed over for job opportunities, because it works in their favour.
After the Ministry coup in DH, Voldemort puts a great deal of effort into a propaganda campaign against Muggle-borns, but this hadn't been done previously, at least not on that level. As I said, he's able to take advantage of existing "mild" prejudice very easily, which is precisely what makes it dangerous. But even during the first war, I don't think Voldemort's or the Blacks' view on Muggle-borns was supposed to have been the mainstream-- not at Hogwarts under Dumbledore, and not wholly at the Ministry either-- and I think expressing such views publicly would be generally considered impolite. Outside of Slytherins, I don't get the feeling that admitting that you think Muggle-borns and purebloods shouldn't date would be very socially acceptable at Hogwarts, even if it's what you secretly believe. Now, obviously Slytherins would be saying this, but at the point that James and Lily got together, they're not setting much store by what any Slytherins think.
James is VERY openly pro-Muggleborn, as is his family, as is everyone he surrounds himself with. He and Lily were both popular, they were Head Boy and Girl, so largely due to social pressure (also knowing how strongly James and Sirius feel on the subject and how jinx-happy they are) I'm not sure that many Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, or Ravenclaws would really dare comment, especially not to their faces.
All this being said, I can imagine certain people, maybe even acquaintances of the Potters, thinking that Lily's 'taking advantage' of James for his wealth and the safety of his pureblood status, especially as she probably wasn't working while in the Order. I will actually deal with this in my fic too, though it appears to have more to do with class than blood status. Of course, we can't forget that those things are in many ways intertwined in the wizarding world, so there is an underlying bigotry there even if it's not intentional. I can definitely see Lily struggling with this a bit, especially because James would be more than willing to support her financially and buy her things, which might make her uncomfortable. And James not really understanding this (because he wants to make her happy and has never struggled with money himself) might be a bit of an issue, but one they can overcome I'm sure.
I know this reply is already incredibly long, but I wanted to say that, like you, the fact of Voldemort trying to recruit Lily has always puzzled me. I've dealt with it in a way that makes sense, I think. Perhaps if Voldemort really wanted James onside he'd realise that James wouldn't join without Lily, so he made a concession, especially since Lily is also a capable witch herself. I've no doubt it would have bothered James to be asked, but his immediate reaction was probably to loudly, clearly, and angrily refuse, and to spit in Voldy's face basically. I had a lot of fun writing that scene actually heehee
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limonjarritos · 10 months ago
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The wine bottle and symbolism
this is personally my take on the symbolism of the wine bottle/bottle opener as based on a post by galaxitic
The wine as a symbol for obsession for a loss of control. For how Vincent feels about his fixation with Rody. Of even in a way a symbol for Rody himself.
The wine opener being Vince's semblance of control over that obsession. That he believes he has control on his feelings about Rody. But when he goes to open that bottle its not in a semblance of control but that of panic, that of impulse but he still tells himself that it's something, not realizing that with a sip of the wine he's consumed back. His rational is consumed. Just like how this whole time Rody has made him drunk with impulse.
How the wine is admittedly what does him in.
Vince breaks the bottle, breaks 'Rody' through a lack of control. He uses the bottle opener to try and open the real thing, drunk and searching for more, willing to truly give into his impulses and be intoxicated.
Vince has for the most part up until this point been bottling up his feelings, playing the part of mild mannered and in control (though his control isn't perfect. The rat, the watching through the peep hole-)
Rody taking that broken bottle in hand, takes said obsession and kills Vincent with it. Because a broken bottle is going to hurt you. Because Rody is so broken right now, shattered, reeling from the revelation that Manon has been killed. The love bleeding from his body and a hot demand for revenge coming to him that results in the burning of Vince.
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silverislander · 8 days ago
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day 28: mural
they really did look alike in the painting. caitlyn saw the line of vi's jaw in powder's, the way their mouths both set the same when they smile. it was hard to reconcile the girl in the firelight mural with the bright smile with vi as she is now, close to tears, tied to a chair. it's harder still to think of the woman standing in front of her, eyes blazing pink, knowing what she did to caitlyn, and connect her to the blue-haired child on the wall.
jinx doesn't look like she heard her. she looks like she hasn't really heard anyone all night. she sidles over to the table, jittering like she wants to fire again and caitlyn has a split second to decide if she's ready to take a life-
(caitlyn can still feel jinx's nails digging into her temples as she held her head in place, dragging the marker across her face like she wished it was a knife.)
and jinx sets the gun down, raising her hands in surrender.
"no." vi didn't even sound this desperate when caitlyn was breaking her out of prison. "no, no no."
caitlyn was an only child, and an exceptionally lonely one at that. she's never had siblings, doesn't know what that means, really, but something in jinx's eyes sparks, and the quick look she gives to vi before turning her gaze on caitlyn seems so... eager.
that's what makes the connection clear. there's the girl in vi's stories, there's the little tinkerer who was loved more than anything. this is the child who wanted nothing more than to be vi's sister.
something doesn't seem right, though. that little girl is there, and so is the love, but something else is too, something darker, someone willing to do anything if it means not sharing her toys.
that person is all caitlyn knows. that's all she wants to see.
there are five seconds of relief.
one.
caitlyn doesn't lower her own gun, but jinx is just standing there, not making any movement, looking for all the world like a terrified child.
the thought comes unbidden: could caitlyn actually bring herself to kill?
two.
the first time she'd shot a rabbit she'd cried for hours. her mother had rolled her eyes, but comforted her. her father had made rabbit stew for dinner, and caitlyn hadn't eaten a single bite.
three.
the rational part of her is screaming that this is not fair, that this is not how things are done. everyone deserves a fair trial, deserves mercy. the emotional part of her is looking at this shaking girl, looking at vi, pleading to lower the gun,
(her own rifle leaves a big enough exit wound in game. caitlyn knows enough about guns to know that this could tear a person apart.)
have a heart and let her go.
(but it's hard to forget the last few hours and everything jinx did to her.)
four.
caitlyn decides it doesn't matter. she doesn't need this to end in blood. all she needs is for jinx to believe it might.
lost in thought, she has one more millisecond to register that jinx's lip isn't trembling anymore.
she doesn't pick up on it fast enough.
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