#And went ohhh. Well. The post is already written

[mcybree]

I prepared this ask in the Notes app only for Tumblr to not let me copy and paste the text so here’s a screenshot bc I’m not typing all that again lol

there’s this funny trend i see in trafficblr art, in that, when there’s a lineup of every past winner, most players will be surrounded by symbols that were relevant to their POV, and perhaps drawn with the last emotion they’d felt just before death (or maybe just whatever emotion the artist most associates with the character). The winners might be doing something, or in a pose that reflects how they won—there are a million ways to make a life series winners’ piece. What’s funny about it is that no one ever seems to know what to do with Scott. He’s most often just standing there looking mildly disgruntled. And for the symbols he’s most depicted with, it’s typically poppies, which are only relevant to the first season; last life scott does not place any importance on poppies, poppies dont ever come up beyond a brief interaction in episode 1, and jimmy as a whole is less relevant to scott’s pov in last life than he is in every other season.

not that this is an issue with the art; the pieces are beautifully done, it’s just representative of how little fandom discussion there is about scott’s win thematically. Most discussion I see are about the watchers and how they hate scott for defying him or whatever, but watcher lore is not discussion of the series itself as much as it is a fan creation that is retroactively applied to create meaning.

Scott’s Last Life win, to me, was achieved through accomplishing what Third Life Scott could not.

Scott spent 3L waiting for his day one ally to die. He kept Jimmy at a distance, often fully gearing himself up first before backtracking to help Jimmy along. There’s a funny disparity in episode 5, where Jimmy spends the entire episode trying to get good enchants on his iron armor, while Scott sets up a villager and gets good enchants for the full diamond set that he’d already had in storage, in about half the time Jimmy took trying to accomplish his own goal, iirc. This disparity is also something scott acknowledges with the “I’ll always be more powerful than you” line, but it’s been a while since ive written a post like this so i unfortunately do not have the episode number memorized on that one anymore. But Scott goes on to explain that he’ll always have better armor and weapons, which is why Jimmy could never kill him. This is all to say that Jimmy and Scott do not stand on equal grounds in their alliance, and, more importantly, Scott does not depend on Jimmy. The progress Scott makes in Third Life is entirely his own, with Jimmy as more of an afterthought than a teammate.

This is what landed Scott his all time lowest placement. After Jimmy dies first, Scott loses sight of his priorities and dedicates his remaining time alive to avenging Jimmy, rather than focusing on his own longevity (like he’d go on to do in future seasons). And, in that way, Scott’s attitude towards Jimmy (disposable, going to die, unreliable) was an indirect contributor to Scott’s low placement.

In contrast: Scott could not have won Last Life without Pearl. Scott has to rely on Pearl from day 1, having only two lives to start with himself. Pearl gives Scott two lives total. Pearl and Scott are almost always together. They made it to the final four by each other’s side. And that forced day 1 reliance on pearl breaks down the role scott typically assumes (*he’s* supposed to be the person people rely on, he’s supposed to be the one bringing everything to the table) which curbs his tendency to see himself as above others, which then allows for the most genuine happiness i have ever seen him have in an alliance.

The comparison between the way Scott talks to Pearl and the way Scott talks to Jimmy is like night and day. Scott doesn’t compliment or otherwise say anything supportive towards Jimmy (save for the “I believe in you! MCC has trained you for this moment!” during Jimmy’s dare to flare attempt) until after Jimmy has already died. With Pearl, however, Scott is much more open about his care towards her, saying that she’s his best friend and that he loves her as early as episode 2. There’s more examples but between last life and third life, Scott’s attitude towards his primary ally is completely different, and i think it’s symptomatic of Scott allowing himself to love and be vulnerable rather than keeping himself at a distance. And i think that it’s so special that scott won the season where he was so close with his day one alliance, directly because of his day one alliance.

because, to me, one of scott’s defining characteristics is his self reliance. He will have allies, yes, but he often assumes a supportive role and acts as a supplier. He doesnt like taking things from other people. Last Life is different because Scott relies on Pearl, too. It’s also not a coincidence that last life is the only season where scott is normal about jimmy but that’s a different post

tldr yes scott won last life with the power of love but not in the way people say he did (ignoring the boogeyman curse was strategy ☝️)

I SHOULD NOTE, though, that the boogeyman curse was still a fail. Although purposeful, Scott receives the penalty and apologizes to his team. He says he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. I do think that his words here aren’t fully honest— he’d admitted earlier that this choice was fully for strategy. But I also think his apologetic attitude here is genuine. Scott is a perfectionist, he needs to succeed; failing, though purposeful, still hurts. He feels the need to apologize. It means so much to me that his win in last life directly follows the choice to fail on purpose. I’m insane though idk

third life scott embodies scotts flaws while last life scott is him overcoming them 👍 is what im trying to say 👍 last life scott is everything that third life scott could not bring himself to be, in allowing himself to love and depend on other people and overall just be a person.

[aventurineswife]

Is it getting sent? Its not? Just trying in case. I sent the same thing twice because i thought it didnt send..my internet is just bad, anyways in case it wasnt sent, in case you want an idea, my idea is to knit a sweater to them while they are on a work trip and their reaction to that once they are back.

“Both your hands in the hole of my sweater” | Part 1

Summary: While your partner is away on a work trip, you, as their beloved partner, spent the time knitting them a sweater. Upon their return, they’re met with the surprise of a handmade gift.

Tags: Fluff, Domestic Bliss, Sweet Gestures, Knitting, Work Trip, Homecoming, Surprise Gift, Cozy Moments, Light Romance.

A/N: DON'T WORRY ANON!! I GOT YOUR REQUEST AND IT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!😭 BUT TY FOR THE REQUEST, ITS SO CUTEE!! 🤭 HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!🫶 KEEP THEM COMING!! I LOVE WRITING AND READING ABOUT THEM🤭

Part 2, Part 3

Blade

When Blade returned, he found a neatly wrapped box on the table, a card with his name written in elegant strokes beside it. He stared at it for a while, the ordinary sight feeling so foreign in his chaos-filled world. Carefully, he picked up the card, reading your short, heartfelt note.

Inside, folded with care, was a dark sweater, thick and soft to the touch, the colors subtly resembling the night sky. His fingers brushed over the stitches, a strange warmth spreading through him as he realized you'd made this by hand, stitch by careful stitch.

Later, when you found him, he was wearing the sweater, silent but eyes warm. "You don’t… have to keep doing things like this." he murmured, almost unsure how to express the mix of comfort and gratitude he felt.

But you only smiled, reaching to fix the collar. "I want to." Blade looked down, hiding a small, softened smile. In that moment, something in him felt less fractured.

Sampo Koski

Sampo was a lot of things, but genuinely speechless wasn’t usually one of them. When he saw the sweater, though, his usual charm faltered for a moment.

“Ohhh, look at this!” He held it up, the color and style fitting his flair perfectly. “Did you really make this? Just for me? You sure you weren’t thinking of another guy?” he teased, winking, but there was an unusual warmth in his tone.

“Try it on, Sampo.” you insisted, playfully rolling your eyes.

He did, grinning widely as he adjusted it. "Well, look at me, all cozy and stylish! This is priceless! I’ll bet this sweater’s gonna get me some deals. And, hey, it even makes me look extra trustworthy!” He spun dramatically, though he couldn’t quite hide his flustered expression as he pulled you into a spontaneous hug. “Thanks, sunshine. Gotta admit, it feels nice knowing someone’s thinking of me.”

Gepard Landau

Gepard was more than surprised to find a package waiting for him when he returned from his post. Unwrapping it, he found a perfectly tailored sweater, every stitch immaculate and precise. He touched it, admiring the way the thick, warm material felt against his calloused hands.

When he saw you, he was already wearing it. “I… I can’t thank you enough for this,” he said, looking down slightly. "It must have taken you a long time."

“Not as long as you’re worth.” you said, smiling as he blushed.

He cleared his throat, his usually stoic face softening. “You know, we don’t… often have people who think of us like this,” he murmured, his voice a mix of appreciation and humility. “But I promise to keep this safe. And warm.”

Aventurine

Aventurine returned from his business trip a bit weary but still grinning. When he saw the sweater you’d left for him, he smirked, instantly recognizing the effort and thought that went into every fiber.

“Treasure, did you really make this for me? Oh, you’re a gambler with your time, aren’t you?” he teased, slipping the sweater on. He admired himself in the mirror, watching the way it fit just right, from the shoulders down to the sleeve length.

You watched as his fingers lightly traced the stitches. "Only for you.” you replied, enjoying his pleased expression.

He winked, slipping an arm around you. “I knew I made a winning investment choosing you.” With a chuckle, he whispered, “I’ll be showing off this masterpiece everywhere. It’s my lucky charm now.”

Sunday

Sunday returned home after the festival, exhausted yet tranquil. When he found the sweater waiting for him, neatly folded and smelling faintly of lavender, he was deeply touched. His fingers gently traced over the knitting, imagining you working on it alone, stitch by careful stitch.

When he finally slipped it on, he felt a warmth far beyond the wool’s soft embrace—a warmth he rarely felt, a moment of peace. "Thank you." he whispered, though he’d yet to see you.

Later, when you returned, he was still wearing it, his serene smile brighter than ever. "This… this is like a dream." he murmured, as if speaking to himself. He drew you close, his arms encircling you as he let himself feel a bit of reality’s warmth, away from the dream he often clung to.

[l4vend3r-hcs-x]

Kny Oneshot - Giyú asked Mitsuri to help him befriend Sanemi

Linking to a post I made HERE

After Tanjiro's little pep talk the other day, I think Giyú took that on like a silent challenge for himself, to try and make some friends - or at least improve his relationships a little. And Giyú is a man of his word - if he says he'll do something - he'll do it.

So he committed to what he told Tanjiro, and set out to befriend Sanemi. And it got pretty serious pretty fast. I mean he knew how to make Ohagi, but he didn't know how to do it well. Luckily, he knew someone who did...

WORD COUNT: 3.4k

"WHAT?!" Mitsuri's voice rang out, reverberating on the walls of her estate

"Mits, please.." Giyú groaned, raising one hand to his ear and another to his shaking tea.

"Op- sorry." she grinned awkwardly and flushed "It's just that I didn't exactly expect you to be so keen on... making... friends - WAIT NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT I JUST- ohhh I'm not too good at this am I?" she hung her head

"Not really, that's a pretty astute observation though." Giyú shrugged, sipping his tea "Hey, this stuff is pretty good."

"The Master recommended it to me actually! It's form some lovely vendors down by the mansion, down past the pharmacy!"

A slightly uncomfortable silence perused them; Giyú continuing to sip his tea, and Mitsuri quietly brewing another pot at her counter.

He's not speaking at all?!??! Oh this is so painfully quiet!! It's nice to have him here but - IS HE UNCOMFORTABLE TOO??!? OH NO!! I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK I DON'T WANT HIM HERE!! THIS IS SUCH A BIG STEP AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE FOR NOTHING AND-

"Do you think this is a good idea? Honestly - do you?" Giyú suddenly uttered, it was so quiet Mitsuri surely would have missed it completely if the room were not this quiet.

Giyú's eyes glinted with confusion "More?? You mean I... have friends already?"

W-what?! Mitsuri's thoughts screamed

"Are... we not friends, Mr Tomioka?" she smiled nervously

"Well, Kocho told me that you likely did not want to peruse friendship with someone like myself. She told me that you were more than likely going to become violently ill if I attempted to initiate a relationship higher than acquaintances with you." spoke with a monotonous voice but he nodded as thought her point was valid.

"HUH?!" Mitsuri shrieked "And you BELEIVED her?!!"

"I trust Kocho." He peered up at her innocently

"Don't." she smiled wearily, patting his back gently before pulling him to his feet "Anyhoo!~ Let's teach you how to DO THIS!!" her voice grew fierce with determination as she hauled him over to her countertop

~~~~~~

After a few long silences, a surprising fit of laughter, and two hours of prepping - they were finished. A fresh batch of Ohagi lay on the table in front of them, and beside it was a written recipe that Giyú could follow in future.

"Thanks, 'Tsu." Giyú muttered, a gentle smile coming to his face "I really do appreciate all this."

"'Course Giyú!" she slung an arm around him "I just hope that Sanemi likes them! I mean I'm sure he will - he's like addicted to these things. If he didn't train to often I really would worry for his health, you know?"

"Hmm..." Giyú hummed, his mind seemingly elsewhere

"Giyú? You okay?"

"Huh? Oh - yes, I was just thinking how Sabito might react to me giving him these..."

"Sorry?" Mitsuri, who had slipped away from Giyú to start cleaning the mess they had made, suddenly spun to face him "How who might react?"

Giyú's brows furrowed, confused by her seemingly redundant question "...Sanemi??"

"Nono you said Sabito…" Mitsuri smiled confusedly at him "Giyú…who's Sabito?"

but she didn't get a response. Instead, she was met with the view of Tomioka clasping tightly to his left arm, a bewildered look in his downcast eyes. is breath began to quicken, his palms and brow growing wet, body beginning to tremble as the Love Hashira drew closer.

"Giyú, are... you alright?" she went to place a hand on his shoulder, but he jolted back from her

"I, uh- I think I should be going.." bowing deeply to her, grabbed the paper on the table and swiftly left the mansion with her following in an anxious pursuit.

"Giyú!! I'm- I'm sorry!! Please just come back!!" but Giyú had taken off in full sprint and was well out of view by now - there was no catching him.

"Shoot..." she clamped her teeth down on a bent finger

~~~~~

Sabito?? Why did I say his name?? Surely he doesn't remind me of-

Giyú was running through this seemingly endless forest when the notion dawned on him. It was a truly awful thought, not one that he could ever admit out loud - but the two were all too similar for him not to have noticed eventually.

"Shit." he hissed under his breath as he entered his home, eyes beginning to sting as he began to disrobe; practically tearing off the uniform he was not worthy of owning. Tossing his mismatched jacket to his futon, he sank to the floor once he had put on something more comfortable.

Then once again, that all too familiar sinking feeling consumed him. that heavy weight on his chest returned, his eyes prickling with tears, mangled sobs parting form his lips. He drew his knees to his chest instinctively, reaching for his haori to bury his face in, the familiar textures only worsening his cries. God, he felt pathetic. It was one word, one name, one stupid, little, insignificant mistake - and it had gotten him this worked up??

He was supposed to be a convincing placeholder for the water pillar, loosing his composure in front of a Hashira was not going to ensure his facade's security. He needed to try harder. Why had he always been so damn emotional?? He was always overreacting to the smallest of things - just like his father had always said to him. Even Urokodaki had alluded to it before...

It was before final selection, and he was so worried that the two of them would not make it home. He was told to remain calm, to stay brave, and not show his fear. He was assured that he would come home safe, practically unharmed. If only he had been assured that Sabito would have been the same…

Sabito... surely that man didn't remind him of Sabito... Sabito was kind... Sabito was gentle... Sabito was determined.. Sabito was fierce Sabito was a fighter... Sanemi was-

"Fuck..." Giyú hissed under his breath, head now in his hands.

Maybe he does... but that's insane...

Giyú raised his head slowly, his unchanging expression still leaking with salted water just as the paper slipped from the inner pocket of his haori. He slipped it into his hands, the smell of the bean paste that stained it lingering in his nose.

As he looked at Mitsuri's tidy, cursive writing, his mind began to wander again. She had put such effort into this for him, just to help him… make friends, god this is almost funny.

Giyū let out a mix of a sob and laugh, climbing to his feet as he set out for his kitchen. If she was so adamant on helping him, then surely this was something worth trying.

He luckily found the ingredients listed in his cupboards, raiding them to find each component of the recipe. If he was going to do this - he was going to do it well…

He was going to make use of what Sabito left to him… one way or another…

~~~~~

“Then I think that is the last of it!” Uzui smiled, adjusting his eyepatch as their makeshift hashira meeting came to an end.

It wasn’t something they needed to do, but it let them keep some kind of normality to their situation, and was a nice excuse to check in on each other.

“Oh and if anyone bumps into Kocho again…” he stretched his annunciation “Tellll her I still have that thing I- Suma borrowed.” He paused for a moment before swatting a hand dismissively “Sh- She’ll know what I mean.”

And as the hashira filed out of the room - the only remaining pair in the room was, as luck would have it, Sanemi and Giyú.

“Igurooooo” Sanemi groaned through a clenched jaw, hurriedly tying his sandals again “bastard - all I asked was for you to wait for me - but nooo” he hurried his voice to a higher, more effeminate tone “I cAn’t KeEp MiTsUri wAiTiNg~”

Giyuu, sat in the back of the soon, simply observed The wind hashira as he struggled to retie the strings on his footwear. It was actually taking quite a long time, wow.

The entire meeting, Giyú and Sanemi had been stealing glances, ones that were received as snide looks due to Giyú's unfortunate resting face, and thus ignored.

Maybe he just didn’t notice me… Giyú thought to himself.

“Shinazugawa..?” Giyū muttered, rising to his feet

“HOLY- Tomioka??” Sanemi jolted, promptly composing himself again

I literally didn’t even realise he was still here. Ah shit he probably thinks I’m fucking crazy, talking to myself like that-

“Are you alright?” Giyū muttered “You’re staring.”

“No I’m not, jackass.” Sanemi huffed, a slight tinge of embarrassment reddening his face

“Alright then.” Giyū blinked indifferently "I must be seeing things."

“Do you NEED something?!” Sanemi whined, finishing with his straps

"I uh, I wanted to give you this..." Giyú spoke very gently, his tone void of emotion as he extended a hand with a small offering atop it; a little black bag with a few pieces of Ohagi as its contents.

"Is that..." Sanemi looked at Giyú in disbelief

"Ohagi? Yes. After the other day with Tanjiro - I thought it might be something you'd enjo-"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Tomioka." Sanemi scoffed, a hand resting on his hip "You can drop the act. I get you don't like me, but trying to mock me? That's another thing entirely. Seriously fuck off."

He leant down to grab his satchel, turning on his heel to point an angry finger at the other man "DON'T follow me out."

And with a frustrated huff, Sanemi left the room with a slam of the door, leaving Giyú dumbfounded, and a little offended. What on earth did he mean? Mocking him? That's not what he was doing at all? Maybe it was his face. Kocho had told him he had an unpleasant face on more than one occasion - only looking out for him, of course. But maybe it was something he could take into consideration..?

~~~

"'Guro! 'Tsuri!!" Sanemi yelled, catching up to his friends "You will not believe what just happened."

"Tomioka struck up a conversation with you" Obanai snickered, only to get a swat on the back of the head from Mitsuri "Sorry! Sorry..."

"Yeah... actually..." Sanemi sighed, peering over his shoulder apprehensively, raising a hand to the back of his neck and rubbing anxiously "It was really fucking weird, he fucking tried to give me Ohagi.."

Obanai stopped in his tracks, disgust on his face "You're joking, right??"

Mitsuri's cheeks reddened in worry, her hands flittering before her "I-I thought you liked Ohagi, Sanemi?!"

Sanemi turned to her as they walked, dragging a confused Iguro by the elbow behind him "Oh no I do, it was just the way he said it was so - condescending?"

HOW DID HE MANAGE TO BE CONDESCENDING??! IT'S GOSH DARN OHAGI?! Mitsuri's thoughts ran wild, trying to comprehend what she had just heard

"How did he even know you liked that sugary shit?" Obanai hissed while he shook himself from Sanemi's grasp, slotting himself between him and Mitsuri

Sanemi groaned and cast his eyes skyward "That fucking Kamado boy ratted me out. He was so frustratingly kind while he did it too. GOD I mate the little bastard. I just don't trust it! There is just no way-"

"Someone is actually. That. Nice." Mitsuri and Obanai finished his sentence, memorizing it from the countless times Sanemi had rattled on about the alleged prodigy

"I don't get how you two hate him so much!" Tsuri pouted turning her chin up at them and looking away "Nezuko either! The two of them are just so sweet!!"

Sanemi snickered down at Obanai, mouthing "You sure about this one?"

But his only response was a half-assed punch to the gut and the sound of a blood vessel bursting from his little companion

"It's just why would he got that far out of his way just to piss me off?? I get he's an odd one but even for him this is another level of fuckery."

"Then maybe it wasn't - uh..." she gestured to Iguro

"FUCKERY."

"Well yeah, that."

"'Tsuri what the fuck are you talkin' about"

"What is he was trying to be uh nice...?" she smiled awkwardly

Sanemi's jaw dropped despite his mouth remaining shut, Iguro slowly meeting his gaze, and after a few seconds of silence the two erupted in sonorous laughter, causing Mitsuri to throw up her hands in defeat with a huff.

"Ohohoh, 'Tsu that's a good one." Sanemi slapped her shoulder playfully as he struggled for air

"Yeah, Mits. I gotta give it to you, never thought you'd make jokes about that asshole too - WHEW I CAN'T BREATHE." Iguro chimed in, and Kaburamaru even hissed in delight

"I am serious!! What if he want's to be frien-" but she was cut off by another chorus of shouts and howling "UGH. Maybe Tengen's right, he shouldn't give you two the time of day." she pouted, speeding off in a huff from the other men

"Oh no - Mits come back!" Iguro cooed, barely stifling his laughter

"Yeah pinkie! Come tell us how he wants to get closer to- PFFT HAHA IGURO I CAN'T TAKE IT IT'S TOO FUNNY!!" The man began to sob with violent laughter, his body shaking

But she was already long gone by the time he had forced out the sentence, and even further than that when the real comedy began.

"Dude she is a fucking riot. I take it back - I think I can look past her benevolence with that demon girl, she is hilarious. 'hE's TrYinG tO Be nicE' OH MY GOD HAHA"

Iguro wiped the ghost of a tear from his eye "You impersonate her far too well"

"A-thank you, I've had practice." he beamed

they continued to walk for a few more minutes, light-hearted jeers audible in the surrounding area, as well as some information that was probably best not to be discussed in public.

"No but I saw him take it from her as well - deadass. Don't look at me like that!! I am telling you that's what 'Suma' borrowed from her"

Iguro cackled in disbeleif "there is now way you are gonna stand tere and lie, saying he took a bottle of-"

"I AM NOT LYING!!" he beamed in dismay "WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THIS??"

"I DON'T KNOW?! SOME SICK REVENGE FOR THE TIME HE CAUGHT YOU-"

"YOU SAID WE WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT." He gasped dramatically, slapping a hand on the shorter man's mouth "there is no way you just tried to lick me with that on your face."

"I literally forgot it was there - ew it tastes like Kocho's fuck ass tea she gives us in rehab"

"I'll take your word for it, pal" he giggled, wiping his hand on his front absentmindedly

"You sure? I mean I could be a fucking liar as well??"

"Well then, there's only one way for me to really find out isn't there??" he smirked, jokingly tilting up his friends chin, leaning in before the two of them roared with laughter

"What's so funny?" A third voice then chimed in

"OH MY GOD" Sanemi screamed

"WOAH- T-Tomioka??" Obanai poorly supressed a gag as he turned to see none other than the water hashira stood behind them, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Yes?" he beamed

"What are you doing here?" Sanemi stepped forward, a slight flush to his face "I thought I told you not to follow me out??"

"Dudeee." Obanai sneered seeing the red tinge to his friend's face

"I didn't. I just happened to be passing though here! my estate's just down the way."

Although this was Tomioka Giyū's natural demeanour, this was a side to him never before seen by his fellow hashira, and thus was met as such.

"Would you quit that??" Iguro hissed, Kaburamaru lashing her tail around his neck

Giyū blinked at Obanai, mildly perplexed by the sudden hostility. "Quit what?" he asked, voice even and unaltering to the tension around them

"You’re... smiling?" Sanemi sneered, stepping up to Obanai’s side, arms crossed defensively. His eyes narrowed, suspicious of the Water Pillar's sudden shift in personality. “What the hell are you playing at?”

Giyū stood before them in silence, both debating what he was going to say, and feeling the pressure of the scrutiny weighing down on him. It wasn't often that he allowed himself to feel anything beyond his solemn duty, and he had to admit, it did feel awfully strange.

“I’m… not playing at anything,” Giyū finally replied, looking back at Sanemi. “I was trying to offer you something I thought you’d like, but clearly I misjudged.”

Sanemi rolled his eyes, his irritation still palpable. “You really expect me to believe that? After all these years of keeping your distance, barely saying a word, and now you want to mock and tease? Give me a break, Tomioka.”

"Yeah," Obanai chimed in, his expression cold. "You're always standing around like you're better than the rest of us. And even if you aren't playing at anything, it's suspicious regardless."

Giyū clenched his fists at his sides, fighting back the sting of their words. He knew his demeanour often came off as distant—aloof, even. But he wasn’t trying to look down on anyone. He was just… bad at expressing himself. And worse at forming connections. Maybe it was too late to change things.

“I am not mocking either of you. I apologise if I have seemed distant, but if you cannot comprehend my efforts, I suppose I'll leave the two of you to... frolic? in peace until I can find a way to help you to. "

Sanemi’s gaze flickered with a confusing blend of emotion. There was no doubt shock in it, a shadow of understanding, and what appeared to be flusterment? But it was gone as quickly as it came. “Whatever.” he muttered, turning away, that red still lingering on his face, possibly even worse than before

Obanai glanced up at Sanemi before fixing Giyū with a hard stare. “Word of advice, Tomioka. You have gotta fix your face. People are going to assume you're being an ass if you say things with that look plastered on."

"You just said you didn't want me smiling."

"Just don't capture the essence of a frost bitten apple, okay?" he groaned sarcastically

“I’ll… keep that in mind,” Giyū muttered with a determined nod.

"Fucking hell he took me seriously" Iguro hissed under his breath

With that, Giyū turned to leave, the tension in the air still thick. But at least he had tried. And that, he thought, was a step in the right direction.

“And, Sanemi? If you change your mind about the Ohagi, you know where to find me.”

Behind him, Obanai leaned toward Sanemi with a low chuckle. “Looks like you’ve got yourself a little admirer. Maybe he’s not as dead inside as we thought, huh?”

Sanemi glowered, swatting Obanai lightly on the shoulder. “Shut up. There’s no way in hell Tomioka’s interested in making good on things. I bet you dinner it was an order from the master."

“Maybe,” Obanai mused. “Or maybe he really does want to befriend you, and you’re just too stubborn to admit it.”

Sanemi’s scowl deepened, but he didn’t respond. He wasn’t sure what bothered him more—the idea that Giyū might actually want to connect with him, or the nagging thought that maybe he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea.

As Giyū walked away, the faint memory of Sabito drifted back to his mind. Maybe it wasn't such an awful idea to get closer with the two of them - and maybe this is what Sabito would have wanted! But deeper down, the realisation began to dawn on him that - maybe this is what he wanted too..

OKAY I HAVE NO IDEA IF ANYONE READ THIS TO THE END BUT IF YOU DID PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!! (Please note that this is a rough draft for the chapter that will be posted to my Kny of insert "Have we met before" and the chapter will be called "Don't follow me out." xx) OKAY THANK YOU THAT IS ALL GOODBYE!!

~ Lav xx

[ateez-himari]

[241113] GANGSTER OFF-DUTY

[NEW MESSAGES FROMM HIMARI]

[AM 1:09] Ice on my teeth on my, white teeth ✨ Atiny, are you ready for the comeback ? It's one of my favorite concepts

[AM 1:09] I like the pink hair too! 🩰My hair was already bleached grey for the concept photos so I figures that I might as well try another color

[AM 1:10] Omg yeah! My outfit was so cool...I felt like an actual crime boss when I put it on for the first time. I mean a lace bustier and Versace suit jacket ? Come on

[AM 1:10] I actually made the lariat necklace myself because I thought it would go well with the deep v-neckline, the rings were mostly gifts from Donatella

[AM 1:11] Ahh you guys noticed ? It's true, for the first time since our debut I'm the main producer on all tracks and I'm so glad our team trusted me so much

[AM 1:12] I know, I cried too when Sannie oppa sang 'Enough' on Leemujin Service (I went with him to the recording)

[AM 1:12] It's a very personal track because the lyrics are speaking to the version of myself that was in pain, so it's practically raw, kind of like my lines in 'Mist'

[AM 1:12] When I was recording the demo for the members, the 'God Damn' wasn't written into the song, it just came out naturally because of how I felt and I kept it in

[AM 1:13] I watched Arcane too, Yunho oppa and I binged it last night! I can't believe they let me make the song 'Paint The Town Blue' for them...

[AM 1:13] Yeah, singing in English was challenging but I think it turned out well! You can't really hear my accent that much since I practiced for a long time

[AM 1:13] You're right there's a lot of side projects that Tiny didn't know about ㅎㅎ But they'll stop for a bit, since I work in the music industry it's not always good for my hearing to be around noise constantly, so most of what's going to come out has been recorded before my hiatus

[AM 1:14] My instagram caption...? 🤔It's just a random sentence I don't know why you guys are looking into it so much

[AM 1:14] Ohhh! I didn't know that was part of G-Dragon sunbaenim's hidden tracklist now I get why everyone's been so suspicious of me lately

[AM 1:14] It would be nice to work with him...Too Bad I'm on external work break 🐉

[AM 1:15] Right now ? I was just reading a book that RM oppa sent me before I decided to talk to Tiny, then I'm making dinner for our dorm

[AM 1:16] I was originally supposed to room with Jongho oppa and Wooyoung oppa, but then they realized no one in the third dorm could cook so they moved me there

[AM 1:17] ㅎㅎI just saw someone say that they made Viktor attractive in the new season, you're right...the emo phase hit him well

[AM 1:17] Of course my boyfriend is way more attractive, there's no comparison 🤧But a girl can have her fictional crushes you know...

[AM 1:18] I'm so happy someone noticed! They put small grills on my canines because they look like little fangs, so it made them even cooler

[AM 1:18] Nuh uh I didn't steal the lip chain accessory from the MV set, I just borrowed it to take some pictures afterwards

[AM 1:18] I wasn't trying to tease you guys with it 🥺Just make a spoiler that no one would think twice about until the video came out I'M SORRYYYY

[AM 1:19] I sooo wasn't naked in that instagram post...I just wasn't wearing pants, there's a difference. But the members never wear shirts anyway!

[AM 1:19] Did my brother tell you guys to reprimand me about this ? Well for the record tell him to stop showing his tits off on my feed 🤧

[AM 1:20] Well...no I'm not wearing any pants right now...but it's my sleeping outfit! My underwear is really cute though it has a little ribbon! I got them yesterday with Mingi...Seonghwa oppa wanted to come until I told him what I was shopping for

[AM 1:20] Of course I'm not drunk! The boys talk about their underwear all the time so I'm gonna talk about mine 😤

[AM 1:20] One second, I'll show you guys where he is...I just got out of the shower a few minutes ago and found him like this, I'll have to wake him up to eat soon

[AM 1:20] Oh, this is Kyo. He's a stray I brought home not too long ago and he usually sleeps in my bed, even when Mingi's here

[AM 1:21] I didn't do much today, I just went to see a few industry friends, got some painting and sketching done...even with dance practice it's one of the most peaceful days I've had in a while

[AM 1:21] You're right, not working feels great ㅎㅎ Anyway, I need to get started on dinner now Tiny, I'll talk to you guys very soon!

[AM 1:21] I'll do my best during our promotion schedules so be ready ♡ Love you so much, kisses!

Translated from Korean by Google

[starrydaycare]

Hi love ur content! Can you pls do a tickle fic with pomni getting tickled by gummigoo or jax! Thank you have an amazing day! :)

Hey! Thank you, and yeah I can very much do that. Apologies if it isn't the best, though. This is my first tickle fic I've written.

Lee!Pomni and Ler!Jax, Thoughts upon Thoughts and a certain Purple Rabbit. 1,306 words. Despite this being a non-agere post, this is still an sfw account. DNI if not child safe!.

Pomni sighed, a mixture of exasperation, hopelessness and sadness going through her at the moment. Five days ago, she had been living her life in the real world, doing this and that, having fun with her friends and family. Five days ago, at around 7:50AM, she found herself in a strange circus. Five days ago she was told that she was unable to leave ever again; that she was trapped here... 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳. Now, of course she wasn’t going to just accept this! There had to be a way for her to leave! There just had to be! ... At least, that’s what she told herself.

It’s almost been a full week since she entered the digital circus, and despite her attempts to find a way out, she remained there, surrounded by new people who had been trapped there for far, far longer than she had. They were... Okay. Yeah, they were fine. Ragatha was nice enough, she still felt bad about leaving her behind at first on her first day here. But she seemed to forgive her, so Pomni figured that she should leave it in the past. Kinger was interesting, to say the least. He was definitely a character, his short-term memory messed up. But he was nice, regardless. Even if he could be a little out of it at times; he was nice to talk to.

Zooble was, well, Zooble. They were nice enough, Pomni supposed. They seemed pretty over this circus stuff, which Pomni could relate to. Gangle was kind. She seemed like a sweet girl to Pomni. Though, her emotions were usually stuck to sadness thanks to her tragedy mask, which was almost always the mask residing on her face. Jax made sure of that, always pushing her down or insulting her.

Jax. Ohhh, Jax. Jax was probably the one human in the digital circus which Pomni didn’t really want to be around. To be fair, for her first few days, Pomni didn’t really want to be around anyone, preferring to just stay in her digital room, snuggled up in her digital bed...

The other circus members had grown on Pomni, but not Jax. Jax was mean, from what Pomni could tell. He constantly messed with the people in the circus, from breaking Gangle’s comedy mask to putting centipedes in Ragatha’s room just to mess with her. Pomni couldn’t fathom 𝘸𝘩𝘺 he would do that to the only other humans trapped here. They were all in the same messed up situation, so why not make the best of it? ... She sounds hypocritical now. She’s been focused on escaping, ignoring the group. Yeah, that’s hypocritical.

But can you blame her? Most people would do the same in her shoes, she thought.

It was fine, though. Well, not really. She’s finally come to terms that she is very much not leaving this place... Goodness, how does a place like this even come to 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴����? What cruel, cruel person decided “hey, yeah, a digital circus in which humans are trapped in until they lose their marbles is a funky little idea!”. She didn’t even want to think about who would think like that. She was sad enough already, feeling hopeless; defeated.

Pomni continued walking around the big circus area, alone. The others had gone on their daily adventure, made by Caine. Well, not Zooble. Zooble never went on the adventures; Pomni could see why. But Zooble was in their room at the moment, and regardless, Pomni just felt like being alone for a bit.

She was startled out of her thoughts by a voice and a poke to her side; a touch which she did 𝘯𝘰𝘵 squeal at. No siree, not her! “Hey, Newbie!” Ughh... 𝘑𝘢𝘹. 𝘎𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵. Just who she wanted to see as she walked around, alone. “What is it, Jax?” she asked, exasperated. “Hey, hey! No need to be such a @#$-#!” She grimaced at the wonky censor. “Just trying to see my favorite new jester! Y’know, you seem kinda... Down-in-the-dumps-depressed lately.” He noted.

“Thanks, Jax. Didn’t know.” She replied, rolling her eyes. “𝘚𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘴𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘺, 𝘫𝘦𝘦𝘻. Chill out, would you? Getting yourself all bent-out-of shape!” He accused with a laugh, poking her side again, another squeal leaving her mouth. “Jax, stop that!” She snapped. She wanted to be 𝘢𝘭��𝘯𝘦, and she was supposed to be for at least a while longer! “Why, kid?” Ohhh, that... That Jax! “Jax! Knock it OooFFF–” The end of her sentence is high pitched, turning into another squeal as he began repeatedly poking at that spot. “JjjAHAHAHX!” She scream-laughed as his pokes turned to him spidering her sides–that’s right, sides, as in plural. Both of his hands now spidered along her sides–for reasons unknown to her. Was this another prank!? The first prank he pulled on her!? “KNOHOHOCK IHT OFFFHAHAH–!” “Hmmm... I don’t know, Pomni. You seem a lot happier now, and I’m enjoying this! Hmmm... What to do, what to do?” He pretended to think, not letting up with his relentless tickling. “JAHAX!”

“Hmm... Oh, yeah! I got a great idea, Newbie!” He teased, and despite the tickling letting up, Pomni knew better than to believe it was over. And she was right to act that way, as almost immediately his hands were skittering across the back of her neck. She squealed, throwing her head back and putting her shoulders up in an attempt to get the tickling sensations to leave. It was a failed attempt.

“Woah there, Pomni! Looking unsteady there, aren’t we? Don’t fall! Wouldn’t want an accident, now would we?” He spoke, that cheshire grin visible on his face. That look usually meant trouble, though Pomni couldn’t focus on that, too preoccupied with the fingers skittering along her neck. She brought her hands up, weakly fighting against it. Though they both knew it was half-hearted.

His hands drifted down to her exposed armpits, taking advantage of the fact that her arms were up, trying to get his hands away from her neck. His hands started their assault once more, forcing laughs and squeals out of the poor jester, who now had tears threatening to fall due to it all. As he continued to tickle her, he helped her lie down, giving him far more access (and making it to where she wouldn’t accidentally fall from the tickling). His hands spidered along her clothed ribs, side and tummy, loud laughs from the jester like music to Jax’ ears.

She wiggled and squirmed, head thrown back with tears of laughter in her eyes. “JJAHAHHAX–AAHHHHAHH!” Coherent sentences no longer formed for her, thanks to Jax’ actions. Coherent thoughts didn’t form, either. So Jax’ plan, which Pomni was unaware of, had been successful.

He finally gave her mercy as she started claiming that it was too much. His hands left her sides and he crossed his arms. For a moment Pomni just laid there, still letting out weak giggles. Her giggles stopped soon enough, and with a sigh, she wiped her tears of laughter away from her eyes.

“Feeling any better, Newbie?” Jax asked. “Hhahhhuh?” She answered, questioning. “You’ve been kinda... Down-in-the-dumps, as I said before, lately. All depressed.” He replied.

“Ohh.. Yeahhh, I–... Yeah. Um, the whole new... Trapped-in-a-digital-circus thing hasn’t been the best for me.” She admitted. “So? Are you feeling any better at all? Or do we need to go again?” Jax threatened, wiggling his fingers in the air. A giggle left Pomni, and she subconsciously squirmed a bit. “Haha, nooo... I’m good. ... Yeah, that... Did help. Q lot, actually. Why did you...?” “Well, I had to make sure the new kid didn’t abstract already.” Jax explained, a grin on his face. “Mmm... Okay. Thanks, Jax.”

“Yeah, no problem, Newbie.” He said, and as Pomni sat up, she thought to herself that maybe, just maybe, this entire circus thing wouldn’t be too bad.

[katt1281]

katt i wanna hear abt your fallout oc

!!!!!! ohhh my god where to start. ive written 50k+ words about him... ok so his name is Austin, he's a fallout 4 oc (Fallout 4 big spoilers ahead!) and he was a pre-war sniper. During the war he got hit by a nasty shrapnel blast, leaving his face/torso pretty torn up (and then later scarred). He quit the military and they were living off of Nora's lawyer money until the bombs dropped. Post-war and unfrozen he's still a skilled sniper, working with first the minutemen and then later the railroad. He carries a lot of grief with him, from Nora of course and then later learning of Shaun's fate. He refuses to see Father as his son. Because of the shit he's been through he frequently drinks/does chems, and he's got the perfect partner for it- Hancock! As he spends time with the ghoul they eventually fall in loveee <3. which Austin totally feels normal about and not horribly guilty. totally. Then through all his chem use he discovers he has the Sight! So he uses that to his advantage until Hancock, fed up with Austin getting hooked on chems, forces him to stop. Austin never told him about the Sight, because he didn't know if Hancock would believe him. So Austin tries to stay clean, but he can't help but wish for the Sight...and he eventually caves in. This time he watches Hancock die, and that royally fucks him up. He was already slightly paranoid, but seeing the last person he's got left die...that ramps it up to 110 percent. He treats Hancock like he's made of glass, which Hancock obviously doesn't like or understand, and that fractures their relationship so much that Hancock leaves him. Austin hits his lowest point. Its only through Nick Valentine + other friends that he gets his shit together and finds Hancock. He tells him everything, about the chems he was sneaking, about all his visions, all his fears. Hancock's very much like. what the fuck austin you should have told me sooner. but they kiss n make up. Hancock is chill about his death, saying he knew he'd die eventually and he's glad it wasn't because he went feral. Austin's determined to enjoy the time he has left with Hancock and never chase him away again. and they lived happily ever after and adopted synth Shaun and Austin is a great dad <3. BUT THEN...years later he has another vision and he foresees his own death. Rather then trying to run from it (which he's learned doesn't work, Hancock is dead at this point) he makes preperations. He always journalled in his Pip-Boy before, but now he leaves messages for Shaun to help him survive the wasteland. As he knew he would, Austin vanishes into the fog of Far Habor. The only thing of his they find is his Pip-Boy, which is delivered to Shaun. Now its time for Shaun's character arc as he heads out through the wasteland determined to find his dad- as well as the truth about his synthetic self :0 HUGE TY for giving me an excuse to ramble about this!! Austin is my fav lil guy and ive been polishing his story for months at this point :D i really appreciate your interest ^-^

[allwaswell16]

- 2023 Fic Fest Participation -

Number of fests: 5

Number of fics: 8 out of 13

Favorite fest/fic: @louisrarepairfest because it's mine lol. I get so excited not only to write for it, but of course, to read all the fics that get written for it. It feels like the greatest gift ever! I ended up writing 3 fics for my fest this year. My fav of those is probably: One 

Fests you would love to do again this year (if they come back): Obvs @louisrarepairfest and the newly reformed @1domegaverseficfest

Tagging: @voulezloux @enchantedlandcoffee @letthemusicmoveyou28 @justanothershadeofblue @nouies and anyone who wants to do this, just say I tagged you!

Fics & thoughts under the cut

Do You See What I See for @faithinthefutureficfest

T, 2k, Louis/Harry | vet Louis, humor, stray animals

I don't know what to say for myself here. I had already signed up for another song for this fest, but this one didn't have anyone signed up for it so I said I'd write a second fic for the fest. I apologize to SIBWAWC for writing the silliest fic ever for it. I have so so so enjoyed the comment section for this though hahahahaha! Loved everyone's screaming :)

Bitter Ends Turn Sweet for @faithinthefutureficfest

E, 30k, Louis/Harry | songfic, famous/not famous

Well, this is the fic I actually meant to write for this fest lol. The first time I listened to Chicago I was at an 11 waiting to hear what it sounded like and as I listened this whole story appeared in my head. And I was just like...nah, not gonna write a long kid fic, am I? Turns out I did.

All This Time for Knot in my Name (multi-fandom event)

T, 1k, Louis/Harry | omegaverse, flower shop

So this has a complicated backstory that I won't get into lol, but I noticed this event happening to counteract AI and was like ohhh that's very cool and when I went to the collection I saw @louisthiccsexyglitteryass already had fics there and I was like ooh there are already 1D fics there? So then I felt comfortable joining in, too!

On That Note for a defunct fest that is now @1domegaverseficfest

E, 6k, Louis/Harry | omegaverse, office au, epistolary

Someone suggested a prompt based on a Reddit post that I liked about co-workers who only spoke through random notes on their Dropbox folders. And I saw a post on Tumblr about feral omegas and so I put those things together for this. And I really loved the omega friendships in this one. And it was fun to write the little notes that went back and forth between Harry and Louis.

Ace of Hearts for @sevenseasofharryandlouis

E, 10k, Louis/Harry | pirates, sequel

I had been saying I would write the sequel for Ace of Spades for a YEAR when I saw this fest and asked if I could join way after sign ups closed because 1) it fit the theme and 2) a deadline was the only way it was going to get written lol

Crush for @louisrarepairfest

T, 1k, Niall/Louis | co-workers, office

I decided I wanted to write rare pairs I hadn't ever written before and Nouis just felt right for the prompt. I found the prompt on Tumblr about how some office himbos tried to cheer up their co-worker who had just been dumped by her boyfriend. And they thought maybe mac & cheese would help.

Daydream for @louisrarepairfest

T, 2k, Zayn/Louis | girl direction, coffee shop

Another rare pair I'd never written AND I'd never written girl direction before. I got the prompt from a fic I read in another fandom about two strangers who see each other at the coffee shop everyday and what happens after one of them doesn't show up one day. But then I started writing and it all got chaotic and a bit different than that prompt lol. I think it turned out really fun though!

One for @louisrarepairfest

E, 4k, Louis/Tommy Shelby (Peaky Blinders)

SO. Obviously a v rare rare pair. BUT I had been wanting to write Louis/Cillian Murphy for years and couldn't figure out the right story for it. And finally it occurred to me that what I wanted to write was Louis/Cillian's character on Peaky Blinders lol. And then it all fell into place. I really enjoyed writing this as a historical Peaky Blinders fic and playing around with the structure a bit which is why the title is One. You follow Louis from the start, then one month later, then one week later, then one day later, then one hour later...and it actually really worked!

[missingn000]

okayokayokay, listen, i started a TPG reread after the last chapter you posted because i was hopped up on my love of this fic, and i finally had to enough free time to get to the chapter where shoko comes over to dinner for the first time aND I JUST LOVE HER (and nanami) SO FUCKING MUCH??!

shoko was a character that i genuinely almost never thought about before this fic. she was simply just, there, when i watched the show, and while her small parts in the hidden inventory arc were enjoyable i basically just went back to never thinking about her. AND THEN YOUR FIC COMES AROUND AND ACTUALLY I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND SHE MAKES ME SO SAD?! you just write her so well, and everything about how she is written by you makes so much sense. one of your utmost strengths as a writer is being able to extrapolate character personalities into their highest potential. every time you've introduced a character and forced us to contend with their emotions and thought processes, i'm astounded by how seamless it is. it never feels out of place or tacked on. it's always just "yeah, obviously this is how this character would think/act/feel, makes total sense with everything we know of them from canon."

AND THEN NANASHOKO WHICH I HAVE ALREADY YELLED ABOUT SO MANY TIMES BUT AGHAFDGKHFDAHJL (<- had to be tazed) their interactions have me eating drywall. like, she has his hoodie?? from highschool??? i'm going to go insane!??? also i am realizing how beautiful it is that really the first big thing nanami does after coming back to sorcery and accepting that loving people even at the risk of hurt is worth it, is he goes and begins the process of rescuing shouko from the same fate he was heading towards??? he wants to protect people now and he goES AND GETS HER (even if that wasnt his original intent when he went to visit her but i digress) anyway, i love your writing, you have made me love a character i did not ever expect to ever really care about, and then handed me a ship for said character that makes me want to go koolaid man through my wall <3 also sick of losing soulmates by dodie is such a nanashoko song it came on my spotify shuffle and i then lost my mind

PLEASE OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO SWEET...honestly, i wish shoko got more attention in canon!! even in the arc where we saw more of her backstory, the spotlight was still on stsg basically the whole time and we didn't learn much more about her. i've had to do a lot of extrapolation from what we know of her in canon, but it's so flattering that you think her more fleshed-out characterization in tpg is compelling and believable!!

AS FOR NANASHOKO...THEY OWN MY WHOLE HEART. i feel immensely accomplished by how many people have said they never considered the ship before but love it now. i think there's a very delicate balance to strike in terms of shipping characters that are similar -- they need to be able to relate to each other in a way no one else can, but also be different enough for their dynamic to still be interesting. and shoko stealing nanami's hoodies makes me feral too like ohhh theyre so. oughh. i love them. anyways i listened to that song and it ruined me so thank you for that and for this lovely message!!!

[chihirolovebot]

KEA !!!!!!!!!!!! PUT THIS BACK !!!!!!!!!! /J

oh my GODDDD OH MY GOD im fuckign spiralling sorry this took me a minute to get to but HOLY SHIT . ur fucking insane for this one. whats ur problem .

ok first of all u already know ur artstyle can do no wrong in my eyes . this is SO lovely u captured both phys and ouma so so well it physically broke my heart watching phys break down . the way i havent even written ch5 yet and ur already making angst art for it .... u scare me btw . ur art is so beautiful and i know i already said it but i just adore ur phys redesign theyre sooooo soso shaped and dynamic and unique im just in total awe .

now . ok. this one hurt . phys sitting in ouma\s room and just bREAKING DOWN this is sooooosososo fucking evil oh my god . the hydraulic press made my heart literally drop . post ch5 physouma is not something i want to think about.... im not totally sure what phys is holding in the first scene but looking at it seems to be what's making them upset ? or maybe theyre trying ot distract themselves by reading his notes but it just makes them miss him more ??? fucked up if true .

and the end . ohhh my god the end . the contrast between phys sobbing in ouma's room an then just this . quiet , pretty field . and he's alone . and it's post ch5 because he's wearing the clothes he wore when he went under the press . HE WAKES UP ??? and he just . cries ?!?!?!? you did such a brilliant job of capturing this because there's something . so peaceful and yet so so fucking lonely in this scene . i think what hurts the most is that ouma just looked tired. the contrast between the both of them crying is insane — phys breaking own and sobbing , and ouma just looking up at the sky and tearing up silently . GOD .

kea . this is genuinely a masterpiece . im SO incredibly grateful for this i cant even put it into words . thank u so much forblessing me with this , i cant wait to look at it every single day . thank u my friend , ur so talented and cool and im affectionately putting u in the salad spinner and tossing u round and round .

His gaze softened

"Heaven awaits" he reminded himself

He started sobbing, not being able to forget what he left behind

He dissolved into tears

(repost)

@chihirolovebot

[dhwty-writes]

The Terribly Sad and Tragic Affair that Is the Fake Funeral of Shadowhand Essek Thelyss

Apparently, I am not only drawing for the Critical Role fandom, but writing for it, too. After months of nearly no progress I just vomited out 3k words this Tuesday and it only went downhill from there.

This fic is based on this post by @anne-o-nyme, I really hope I managed to capture the energy of it.

Have fun!

Summary: There were eight strangers in the foyer of his dead brother's towers and Verin Thelyss was slowly losing his patience.

After the sudden "death" of Shadowhand Essek Thelyss, it is his brother Verin's job to empty out his towers. The Mighty Nein show up to help (and maybe steal a few things).

OR: Verin is grieving, Essek just wants his stuff back, and the Mighty Nein are the Mighty Nein.

Warnings: I didn't tag this with MCD, because Essek is technically alive and kicking. Since Verin doesn't know that though, and this fic is written from his POV, this is dealing with grief and includes depictions of depressive thoughts as well as anxiety attacks. For more explicit warnings, please mind the tags on AO3. Take care of yourselves, and let me know if I forgot anything.

Read on AO3

There were eight strangers in the foyer of his dead brother's towers and Verin Thelyss was slowly losing his patience. "Listen," he said with what little calm he had left, "I know that by returning one of our beacons you became heroes of the Dynasty and were placed under Es— My bro— his stewardship. But this here—" he gestured vaguely at the interior of Essek's towers that had always been too cold, too empty, but not like now, never like now— "This is a very difficult situation for me, so if you could please leave, that would be greatly appreciated."

"Yes, yes, it's very sad that Essek died," the blue tiefling said—Jester, her name was Jester; she had given him that already as she had offered him her condolences with a hug—and Verin could barely contain his anger. After the funeral he had quite enough of lying dignitaries, nobles, and heroes currying favours with him. That had always been Essek's thing, he would know what to do, how to make them regret even daring to speak up; Verin had never been any good at it.

"But we're his friends!" He grit his teeth at Jester's blatant falsehood. Perhaps his anger showed on his face, since the tiefling faltered. "And, uh— Fjord?"

"It's true," the half-orc with too-smooth words and too-smooth voice lied, too. "We spent quite some time with your, er— your brother here. Made some good memories. We thought we might take this as our chance to say goodbye, too."

"We are here to help as well. We wouldn't want to infringe upon your grief, though," the tall firbolg added. "So, if you'd prefer us to return at a later point, we'd be happy to."

Verin was still trying to process everything—from these strangers showing up unannounced to their overwhelming presence to the fact that his brother was dead—while simultaneously trying to keep an eye on the halfling who looked like she might have sticky fingers. So, he latched onto the word that stood out the most to him: "Help?"

"Right," Fjord said, looking slightly embarrassed, "we probably should have led with that..."

"We should have called ahead, too," the scary-looking human in blue—they didn't even wear white for the funeral—added. "We always forget to call ahead."

"But Beau, how should we have called ahead?" Jester complained. "We didn't know Verin yet."

"Well, Essek—" the human was interrupted by the even scarier-looking woman next to her stepping on her foot unsubtly. She at least had the decency to act embarrassed. "Right. Sorry 'bout that."

Awkward silence fell across the room, the Mighty Nein looking anywhere but him. It took him a few moments to realise they were waiting for him to speak up. "Help how?" Verin could have kicked himself. By the Light, he could do better than that. He had to do better than that.

A beat of silence followed, then everyone seemed to talk at once. Verin wanted to weep. How was he supposed to deal with this? How had his brother dealt with this? 'He probably hasn't,' he thought. 'They're probably all liars, probably—'

Someone cleared their throat and all eyes turned to the other human who hadn't said anything so far and who looked properly miserable. Immediately, the Mighty Nein fell silent. "Word has reached us that Den Thelyss ordered these premises to be vacated as early as possible," he said quietly with an accent Verin has been taught that belonged to the enemy. "And while some of us may not look like much, I can assure you, we are quite capable."

His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "I supposed such menial tasks are beneath the heroes of the dynasty. There are servants—"

"Well, sure," the halfling with the probably sticky fingers interrupted, "but we know him. Knew him, I mean; sorry, force of habit."

"Besides, there's a lot of stuff," the lavender tiefling, who Verin was pretty sure was a known pirate, piped up. "Looks like you could use the help."

"If you want to, of course," the sad Empire human added.

Verin only wanted to scream, to give room to the torrent of thoughts raging in his head. 'My brother just died. My brother just died and he wasn't consecuted, so he's gone for good. He's gone for good and I didn't even know him; I didn't even know about these supposed friends he had because he didn't allow me near him in decades. I was a horrible brother and so was he, but I can't even be mad at him because he's dead.

'And now these liars show up and talk about friendship and knowing him, but those are all lies, horrible ones, because Essek had no friends. Essek was cold and cruel and lonely and do you even know how horrible that is? Dying alone with no-one who mourns you, just the favours you still owe them? Do you? I don't even know, and I'm his brother.'

Were he a weaker man, a less disciplined one, he might have said so. But he was Taskhand Verin of Den Thelyss and he had learned discipline before he had learned to talk. So, he said: "Your help would be greatly appreciated, thank you. I'll have the servants bring up some tea. There are, uh—" He straightened his back, summoning the composure that was befitting a Taskhand, even one with a dead brother. "There are boxes up there, they've been brought to the rooms already. Anything of value will be sold; the rest will be given to charity. The things— Well, if you find anything that might have sentimental value, something in his handwriting, perhaps, I think I should like to keep that, please."

The firbolg nodded sagely. "Of course. We will be careful with our selection."

With that, Verin turned around and— froze. Where was he even supposed to start? The towers had always seemed to huge for just Essek and he knew that there were very few personal belongings in them. Still, they would have to be scoured clean within the fortnight.

A large hand on his shoulder made him jump, although he'd never admit it. "Sometimes, when a task seems too large, you should start with the smallest part," the firbolg said. "If I were you, I'd start with the smallest room."

"Thank you, that, uh— that seems like good advice," Verin replied, still a bit startled and confused. "I, er— I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."

"Caduceus Clay. I live in a graveyard, so I'm used to this," Clay said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Verin furrowed his brows slightly. A graveyard? It seemed highly unlikely to him that one of the heroes of the Dynasty would live in a graveyard of all places. Perhaps they were not only liars, but impostors too? But they had the symbols of the Bright Queen, so there wasn't much that he could say.

"Right," he mumbled. "I believe the smallest room would be the closet. Although it might be tied with the bathroom..." He trailed off again. He had never seen Essek's bedroom in his towers. Judging by how many times he had even seen the inside of the building; he could count himself lucky if he even found the way there.

"Why don't we split up?" Clay suggested. "One group takes the closet, one the bathroom and one the bedroom. We'd get done sooner that way."

"That is a great idea, Caduceus," Jester said excitedly. "I'll take the bathroom; I promised— er, I'm curious if I can find more of that hair oil, I got for Fjord that one time!"

"Ohhh, are you saying this is... an investigation?!" the halfling joined in.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Veth!"

"Seems like a case for Wildemount's best detectives!"

"Bye, Verin!" Jester called and he blinked and they were gone. Fjord joined them as well, muttering something about having to supervise them.

The purple pirate-tiefling shrugged, heading off in the same direction. "Well, I wouldn't mind rifling through some drawers. I'll have a look at that bedroom."

"Yeah, I don't need to see Essek's underwear, so I'll pass on the closet," Beau added tactfully—Verin was getting the sneaking suspicion that manners were not really her strong suit. She linked hands with the large woman at her side, pulling her along. "Come on, Yash."

"I'll go handle the tea," Clay said. "Don't worry about it." He vanished in the direction of the kitchen, his steps accompanied by the constant tap tap tap of his staff.

When Verin looked around, he realised that only the sad Empire human was left with him in the hallway. "If you wouldn't mind," he said, pointedly avoiding eye-contact, "I would love to have a look at the closet. I always, ah— appreciated your brother's sense of fashion."

Verin blinked at him a few times, then shrugged. "Sure." He began heading up the stairs.

"My condolences," the human continued. "I realise I didn't speak up earlier, but— I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," he said, letting the same numb feeling wash over him again that he had embraced since the news of Essek's death had reached him.

"I know that we seem like a bunch of, ah— forgive my language, but assholes, but we're really here to help. I will tell the others to tone it down a bit."

"Thank you," he repeated.

"If you'd prefer that we start in, ah— less personal rooms, we can do that also."

"If I'm perfectly honest, I don't even know what I should be doing there."

"Neither am I." The human laughed nervously. "I have dealt with grief before, but I've never had the, ah— how do you call it? Hang on." He pulled out a copper wire and whispered: "Beau, how do you say zweifelhafte Ehre in Common? You can reply to this message." A moment later he straightened. "Right. I never had the dubious honour of emptying out a deceased person's house before."

"Neither did I," Verin admitted. 'Usually, the deceased person comes back,' he didn't say. Instead, he opted for: "You're, er— What's the word in Common? You're weird? I'm sorry if that's insulting, I just— waele xanalressen [stupid languages]."

"I don't understand your words, but I think I understand the sentiment." The man grimaced. "And I've heard that one before. I hope we're not too much of a... too much."

"It's alright," he lied and opened the door to Essek's bedroom. 

It wasn't alright; Verin wanted to weep again.

The door to the bathroom stood ajar, as did several drawers and cabinets, although he couldn't glance inside. Considering that he heard glass shatter and a quiet "oops" followed by a hushed "Jester!" he was rather glad about that. Besides, what he saw was already quite enough to handle. Beau was currently rifling through Essek's nightstand, the tall woman tossing unread books on the bed carelessly, while the lavender tiefling seemed to make his way through his brother's collections of make-up and jewellery alike.

They froze when they spotted him and the sad human in the door. "Heeey, Verin," Beau drawled.

"These were all still closed, I swear," the lavender tiefling said immediately, gesturing at the jars in front of them.

Verin just sighed in defeat. "I don't wear any make-up, I don't care; you can have it. Put the jewellery in the box to be sold; the books are for charity if he hasn't read them. Just leave the earrings in front of the mirror, please. Those were his favourites."

Without another glance at them, Verin headed straight to Essek's closet, desperate to get some quiet. He took a few moments to collect himself, before closing the door and leaning his head against it with a heavy thunk.

He stayed like that for a minute or maybe two until he heard someone clear their throat. "I have been debating for the past fifty-five seconds, if I should just Dimension Door out," the sad human said and Verin very nearly jumped out of his skin, "but that would be loud and I didn't want to startle you. Not that I didn't startle you like this but—"

"Vithin shu," Verin cursed.

"Vithin shu ke," the sad human agreed, his accent in Undercommon even heavier than normally.

For a moment, they both stared at each other, equally startled by the course of events. Then, the human looked away again. "I, ah— have started learning Undercommon before, um— well, before." Verin tried very hard to focus on the way the human was scratching at his forearms; that way he had something else to focus on besides his nearing breakdown.

"This is a bit embarrassing, but, ah— I believe I forgot to introduce myself," the human continued. "I'm Caleb Widogast. Essek and I were... friends, yes, and ah— colleagues, of some sort. It's... complicated."

He scratched at his arms again before turning towards the shelves and pulling out a stack of tunics. He unfolded one, looked at it, then carefully folded it again, cast a cantrip to smooth out the wrinkles, and put it in the charity box. Then he repeated the procedure with the next. And the next. And the next.

Verin frowned, thinking for a moment about his words. There was something about them that seemed painfully familiar, although he couldn't quite remember. Then: "The transmutation specialist."

Widogast looked up in surprise. "Yes."

"Essek told me of you," Verin admitted.

The last time they had seen each other had been here, in these towers, just a few months ago. He had found his brother in his office, pouring over notes for a new spell, alive and healthy as ever. As always, he had entered without knocking. As always, he had pretended to read the notes. Not as always, he had noticed something wrong. "Whose handwriting is that?" he had asked.

"What?" Essek had snapped, his head whipping up. Then, however, his expression had softened. "Oh. A friend's. A colleague, of sorts. He's helping me out, a bit."

"With the spell?" Verin had asked incredulously.

"Yes. He's a transmutation specialist; you know that's not my forte. Now give it back, will you?"

"A colleague, huh?" He had grinned and held the paper out of Essek's reach. "Are you sure that's all?"

Perhaps Essek had been sick after all, for the strangest thing had happened: instead of using his floating cantrip to snatch the notes back, he had gotten a dreamy, far-off look in his eyes. He had even smiled with an expression Verin might have called dopey, if it weren't his brother they were talking about. After a few moments, he had snapped out of it, sighed, and said: "It's complicated."

"Did he?" Widogast asked tentatively. "Did he, ah— did he say anything else about me?"

Verin pinned him down with a glare, sizing him up. In hindsight, he should have noticed the thick spellbook at his hip earlier; judging by his slim frame alone, he should have known the man was a wizard. He supposed Widogast was handsome enough, although his brother had never cared much for that, with his copper hair and his striking blue eyes. Blue eyes around which crows' feet were gathering, as he noticed to his dismay. 'He's human,' Verin reminded himself. He might have a few decades left, maybe, whereas Essek had centuries ahead of him. The thought why his brother might condemn himself to more loneliness crossed his mind, though it hardly mattered. His brother had been the first to die, after all.

"Verin?" Widogast inquired quietly.

"I'm sorry," he answered with a thick voice. "I got lost in my thoughts there. He, uhh— he said that he trusted you." That didn't even begin to cover it, but these Mighty Nein had been lying to him since the moment they got here, so what was a little lie by omission? Besides, there were some memories that he wanted to keep just to himself.

"Essek," he had teased, still waving the sheet of paper out his reach. "Come on! Aren't we brothers?"

Essek had crossed his arms and pouted. He hadn't done that since they were both little. "Unfortunately. You are a menace. And a child."

"If you tell me about him, I'll give it back. Is he handsome? Is he a drow? Where's he from? How did you meet? When will I meet him? Can I promise to kill him if he hurts you?"

"Verin!" Essek had groaned and hid his face in his hands.

"What do you do when you meet? I bet you stay up all night, talking about 'arcane research' or something."

"We do, in fact. Are you done now?"

"Oh, is that what young people call it these days?" He had cackled at his own joke.

"Evidently not," Essek had muttered. "Might I remind you that you're younger than me?"

"Might I remind you that you're a buzzkill?" Verin had shot back and placed the note down. He had gotten bored of his own game.

Essek had taken the sheet of paper almost reverently and thanked him. "I would have hated it to rewrite that page." He had smoothed it down, stored it safely away in a folder, silent for a long time. Then, he had said: "Caleb."

"Excuse me?"

"That's his name," Essek had said. "Caleb Widogast."

Verin had frowned. "Hey, Essek?"

"Hm?"

"You must trust him a lot, to share a spell with him."

His brother had taken a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. Verin hadn't expected him to answer, yet he'd said: "I do, actually. It's not the first spell we've created together and I would be honoured to create a thousand more with him. I'd trust him with my life, my death, and beyond. I think—" He'd huffed. "I think I trust him almost as much as I trust you."

Verin watched Widogast as he was looking through his brother's tunics, placing most of them in the charity box, and he wondered. Wondered if the trust Essek had obviously put in Widogast had been misplaced. Wondered if it had extended to his friends, as well. Wondered if ultimately trust had been his downfall, as he'd always feared.

Then again, if Essek had trusted him... perhaps that trust had been mutual. Perhaps they had been friends. Perhaps there was another person mourning his brother after all.

"Do I have something on my face?" Verin had given up on counting how many times Widogast had now startled him out of his thoughts.

"No, no I—," Verin stammered. "I'm sorry."

He tilted his head to the side. "For staring?"

"No, er— For your loss." Liar or no liar, it only seemed appropriate.

"Oh." Widogast turned back to the tunics. Verin probably should get started, too, shouldn't he? "Thank you. Though I'd wager your loss weighs heavier than mine."

"Probably," he agreed and turned to the task at hand. At this point, Widogast had moved on from the simple tunics to Essek's court regalia. After a short moment of consideration, Verin decided to look through the pants; he also had no interest in sorting through his dead brother's underwear.

Out of the corner of his eye he kept watching the wizard, pulling out one cloak after the other. At a few he wrinkled his nose, at others he just stared before putting them with the tunics. After a while one made him pause; an elaborate, beautiful robe in deep purple. "This is what he was wearing when we first met him," he said.

'He hated that one,' Verin thought. Not that he could say that out loud. Instead, he cocked his head and asked: "Are you sure? He has a lot of those. Had, I mean. Had a lot of those."

"Yeah, I'm sure." He tapped his temple with a faint smile. "I have a good memory."

"As does Essek," he snapped, suddenly feeling very defensive about his brother's capabilities. "I suppose most wizards do."

Infuriatingly, Widogast only nodded. "Indeed. Or they're not very good ones."

Silently, Verin turned back to the trousers. The sooner he got done, the sooner he got these people out of his brother's towers, the better. He didn't know for how long they worked in silence, Verin reminiscing about the times he had seen Essek wear the clothes and wondering about those he didn't know. Eventually, he folded the last of them and forced himself to return to the present. "I think we're done here," he announced. "Do you have a preference for a next room?"

"Perhaps the library?" Widogast offered a tentative smile. "I think I might be of more use there than folding clothes."

"More use than I will be, surely."

"I take it the wizardry doesn't run in the family, then?"

Verin only scoffed and opened the door to the bedroom again.

He immediately spotted Beau leafing through one of the books Essek had never read, while the tiefling was chatting amiably with the aasimar while braiding her hair. He also noted the boxes neatly stacked in the middle of the room. Besides that, he noticed with a heavy heart, the room looked much the same. If anything, it looked less orderly and empty than before. Except for—

"Where are Essek's earrings?" Verin demanded to know.

"What earrings?" the lavender tiefling replied with a too-wide grin the same moment Beau said: "Dude, there's tons of them, why don't—"

"No," he said decisively. "Essek's favourite earrings; they're always up here. I told you about them. Where are they?" His hands curled into fists, his neatly manicured fingernails pressing almost painfully into his skin.

"Perhaps you should look in one of the boxes," the aasimar woman suggested "I'm sure they're—"

"You're lying," Verin interrupted her, barely containing his anger. "Why are you lying? If they're in one of the boxes, then only because you put them there. So: where are they?"

Widogast only now stepped out of the closet, wearing an amber necklace he hadn't noticed before. "Verin—" he said tentatively, but he'd had enough.

"Shut up!" He startled himself with how loud his voice was. But he was beyond caring. "I know they're not in there, because the only ones to put them in there would have been you. So, either you're lying about having them put in there, or you're lying about stealing them, I don't care. Just— please. Please give them back."

The four of them passed a guilty glance. "We can't," Beau replied finally.

"The fuck you can't," Verin spat. "Give them back!"

"Verin, love, we would really love to," the tiefling added, "but we can't."

"I don't understand; is it precious things you want? Here, have some!" He strode over to the boxes and ripped the first open, tossing the lid towards the bathroom door Jester was peeking out of. He reached in to grab a necklace—an ugly one, he had always thought, with a stylised beacon—and threw it in their direction.

Beau caught it. Of course.

"Have a whole box, actually, if you like them so damn much." He reached inside and pulled out a jewellery box, tears prickling in his eyes. He threw one of those, too, just for good measure. It gave him some satisfaction that Widogast had to dodge it. "Just give me back the bloody earrings that my brother wore at my fucking consecution!" He was properly crying now and could only imagine the mess he looked like, but he had reached his limit. And, in his opinion, he was allowed to with all that was going on.

At least they looked a little bit guilty. "Fuck man, we didn't know," Beau mumbled.

"It's just one pair, Beau," Jester called over from the bathroom. "I'm sure it will be alright."

"Yes, there's no need for this to escalate," Fjord agreed and strode over to them, his hands raised innocently.

"I don't even know you people," Verin muttered, looking at the people crowding into his brother's bedroom. "Why did I even let you inside?"

"Do you want the earrings back?" the aasimar woman asked, reaching into a bag at her hip. Had she been carrying a greatsword for the whole time? Verin suddenly noticed how overpowered he was, were he to face all of them. "You can have them back if you want. Here, you can have them back."

"For a moment," Widogast added, slowly drawing closer to him and taking the earrings from the aasimar. He held them out on his flat hand, almost like he had seen soldiers offer treats to horses. His whole demeanour reminded him of someone trying to calm a spooked animal. For some reason, that seemed hilarious to him and he couldn't help the hysterical giggle that escaped his throat.

"Verin, I need you to calm down," he continued. "I know that's easier said than done, but you need your head."

"I think we should all calm down," Clay said from the doorway. And despite being surprised again, he did. It didn't make any sense, but few things these days did.

"Did it work?" the halfling asked. Verin wasn't really sure what she was talking about.

"It did," Clay confirmed.

"Gut," Widogast said and pressed the earrings that had seemed so important a moment ago into Verin's hands. "I think we should maybe go somewhere else, ja? Will you come with me?"

Inadvisable as it might be, if Essek had trusted that man, he should, too. And out of all of the Nein, he seemed to be the most normal one. The one he could see Essek with most. So, he nodded.

"I'll get us back to the kitchen, quickly." Caleb held out his hand and Verin closed his eyes, steeling himself. 'I hate Dimension Door,' was the last thing that crossed his mind before the teleportation spell ripped him away, together with: 'We haven't been to the kitchen, yet.'

Evidently, there went something wrong with the spell. Verin didn't know much about magic, but he knew Dimension Door couldn't transport more than two people. So, when he heard Beau groan and say "Fuck, dude, warn us next time," he knew that something wasn't right.

"You knew about the plan, Beauregard," Widogast replied.

"It doesn't matter," Fjord decided. "Caduceus, do you think you could make tea again? I think the Calm Emotions is about to wear off."

Cautiously, Verin opened one eye, then the other. They were, in fact, standing in a kitchen, as far as he could tell. All of the Mighty Nein were surrounding him. The furniture seemed to have been made for people taller than them; Essek probably would need to float in order to avoid awkwardly climbing onto the chair. The firbolg, however, who was fussing with a teapot, seemed to fit right in. All in all, the interior was very rustic. And very much not in Essek's towers, not that he had ever seen that room, of course.

The panic hit him once more. Verin whirled around to the wizard, instinctively grasping for his sword. "Where the fuck—" he faltered, finding his hip bare. Of course, he hadn't brought it for the funeral. Instead, he opted for just grasping Widogast by the lapels and lifting him up a bit. It was supposed to be menacing, which surely would be more effective, were humans not so annoyingly tall. "Where the fuck are we?!" he spat out.

A lot of things seemed to happen at once—he heard a "Fuck, man, what-" from Beau, a "Well, Mister Thelyss" from the pirate, several hands trying to tug him away from the weak wizard—but he didn't pay them any mind. He just shook Widogast, who looked entirely too calm for his liking, and demanded: "Answer me!"

"Leave him," was all Widogast said. "He has every right to be angry."

Indeed, the people grasping at him retreated, still on guard and surrounding him. There was a creak outside the door and Verin desperately wished for his sword once more. Then, a voice cut through the tense silence that had descended over the kitchen: "Caleb, is that you? You're back early."

"Yeah, there were some complications. Best come and look yourself, Schatz."

There was a sigh that was entirely too familiar for Verin's liking. Then, the door opened with a creak and in walked a dead man. "Complications," Essek Thelyss said with a fond smile. "I was just a Sending away, what did you come here fo— oh."

The person wearing his brother's face stopped in their tracks as they saw him. A couple of complicated emotions passed over his face—confusion, surprise, regret, guilt. If he hadn't known before, Verin was certain now that they were impostors, all of them. His brother would never tolerate such a display of weakness. Still, the impostor said: "Hello, brother."

Verin whipped his head back around to the wizard in his grasp. "What the fuck are you playing at?" he hissed.

"I- what- Verin!" the Essek-impostor sputtered. "What are you doing; put him down!"

"I would appreciate that, yes," Widogast added.

"Not before you don't tell me what's going on."

"Going on?" The impostor sneered and shook his head in a perfect imitation of his brother. "Nothing is going on, Verin."

"You died," he accused him.

"Evidently not," Essek scoffed.

Verin narrowed his eyes, looking from the man claiming to be his brother over the other too calm wizard to the rest of the Nein, seemingly perfectly happy to let this play out. "Prove it," he demanded. "Tell me something only my brother would know."

"You've become paranoid," he noted and Verin couldn't decide if it sounded proud or disappointed. "Alright. When you and I were in our early thirties, you once got in trouble for scaling the outside of mother's mansion. Rightfully, I should have gotten in trouble, too, but I was hiding on the attic. And the reason you never told anyone, is because then you'd have had to explain that I, the wizard, had somehow outpaced you, the fighter, in a climbing competition."

Verin wrinkled his nose at that. "Well, my brother cheated."

"I did not cheat, thank you very much!" He huffed indignantly and crossed his arms. "You didn't say 'no magic' before we started."

He stared at Essek for a few moments. "It's you," he whispered.

"Obviously."

Verin dropped the wizard on the ground and looked over at his brother; really looked. The man looked nothing like the one he had known for most of his life. His hair was longer than it had ever been since he'd cut it off and his bare feet were touching the ground. His clothes were casual, a simple tunic and trousers. After this day, Verin knew for a fact that not even Essek's trancing clothes were that informal, and yet his brother looked more comfortable in them in another's house than he had in decades. On top of that, he kept glancing over to Widogast. And smiling. Essek was smiling.

No, this man looked nothing like the one Verin had known for nearly a century. But he looked a lot like his brother.

"You're alive," he said stupidly.

"Yes, of course I am," Essek said, as if Verin hadn't just attended his funeral.

It felt only right to tell him so: "Why are you alive? I was at your funeral."

"That's a long story," he sighed and floated onto one of the chairs that were slightly too tall for him. He accepted a cup of tea from Clay with thanks and turned back to Verin. "Why are you here?"

"Well, that's a pretty long story, too," Jester spoke up. "He kind of started freaking out about your earrings, I think? And he was crying and looking pretty awful and everything, right Caleb?"

"I, ah— didn't think he'd believe us if we told him about you," Caleb said. "So, we had agreed beforehand to bring him here, in case of an emergency."

"He thought we were lying," Clay added.

"I suppose it is my story to tell," Essek said. "Earrings, Verin?"

"They're your favourite," Verin said stupidly and held them out to him.

His face grew soft. "Oh," he said as he took them gingerly, "I didn't know that you kne—"

Before he could overthink and do something stupid like stop himself, he surged forward and enveloped his brother in a tight hug. After a moment Essek closed his arms around him, too.

It seemed so unreal, to be able to hold him after mourning him for what felt like years. All the worries, all the grief and anger that had crushed him in the past few weeks and for what? For the bastard to still be alive after all. It wasn't fair. Why had he had to go through all of that? And why did he feel the pressing urge to start crying again? He should be happy, shouldn't he, that his brother wasn't dead. So why did it make him feel so awful?

"I think this is our cue to leave," Fjord said. Verin felt his brother nod and heard the Mighty Nein shuffle out of the kitchen, the door closing behind them with a creak. 

Only then, Essek spoke up. "Verin," he asked quietly, "are you crying?"

"Shut up," he mumbled through the thick fog of tears and snot, definitely not crying. "I hate you, Essek. Do you know what I went through?" 

"Meeting the Mighty Nein? Yes, I can imagine."

"They're horrible," he complained. "They're loud and they're rude and they had absolutely no respect for any of your belongings! I thought I was going mad."

"They are. They also are my friends, you know."

"How?" he asked agonised.

"I know they don't look like it, but they are surprisingly capable. And I am sure that you've noticed most of them to be annoyingly charming. But I think their absolute worst traits are their infinite stubbornness and perseverance. They quite literally did not leave me alone until they had befriended me."

Verin glanced up at him questioningly. "And were half in love with the wizard?" he guessed.

Essek scowled darkly, a faint blush colouring his cheeks. "Perhaps."

He snorted and disentangled himself from their embrace. Very calmly he said: "You're a liar." 

Essek looked genuinely startled at that. "What?"

"You said, you trusted me more than him. Why then, did he know and I didn't?"

"It's... complicated," he said.

"You wizards say that a lot."

"Verin." Essek closed his eyes. "I trust you. Implicitly. And I care about you. Which is why I chose not to burden you with the knowledge of my misdeeds. I didn't— I didn't want to put you in an impossible situation to choose between me and our queen."

He laughed nervously. "What on earth are you talking about? I mean, you didn't commit treason or anything."

Essek didn't answer, avoiding eye-contact instead.

"Right?"

Still, Essek kept stubbornly quiet.

"Oh," Verin breathed. He took a moment trying to reconcile what he knew about his brother with the fact that he was apparently a traitor. It all fit together ridiculously easy. "The beacons."

Essek looked up at him in shock and he knew he had hit the mark. "What?"

"You stole the beacons." Now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense. Essek had been studying them at the time, one of the only people with frequent access to them. He had always been fascinated by them, yet his theories had been rejected for their heretic nature. As Shadowhand, he had also regular contact with counterparts from the Empire, albeit not officially. Then, a few years after Essek’s research had been denied, they had vanished. How had he never seen this before?

"Oh Essek...," he said softly.

"No, please— I don’t—Please don’t—” He seemed to deflate, curling in on himself. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you, I—”

"I don't care,” Verin interrupted his frantic ramblings.

"What?" Essek looked up at him, looking just as shocked as Verin felt.

“I don’t care,” he repeated, realising that it was true the moment the words left his mouth. For how could he care about something as trivial as treason when Essek was sitting right in front of him, alive and well. "You're my brother, I don't care. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a year. Maybe in ten. Right now, I only care that you're alive."

“I—What—I don’t—” Essek stuttered, lifting and then lowering his hands a few times. “I don’t know how— If I can—Fuck.”

There was a joke on the tip of his tongue, but even he knew that this wasn’t the right time for it. Essek was obviously trying to tell him something and it took him a minute to decipher that strange behaviour. “Are you asking for a hug?” he hazarded a guess.

An agonised expression passed over his face and for a moment Verin thought there were tears gathering in his brother’s eyes. Surely not. “I don’t know if I may. I don’t mean to overstep—”

Without further ado, Verin stepped forward and gathered a yelping Essek up and squeezed him tightly. “Of course you may!” he assured him, awkwardly patting his shaking shoulders. “I love you, Essek. I am very glad that you’re alive.”

“I’m very glad to see you, too,” Essek answered and squeezed him a little tighter.

[mayakrish08]

RRR

You all! I don’t even know you people, but I already love you guys! Until now, I read all of your RRR related things, and wow, I am mind blown! My family members, and my besties, are telling me that I am obsessed with RRR - I say that they haven’t seen what you guys are capable of yet. I mean, seriously! Decoding what Ram has written in the diary! I love you!!

I loved each and every inch of RRR - I still do. It’s been weeks since I went and watched it in big screen, and I am still rewatching scenes of it almost every day! And, dear gawdddd, the OST and the songs! It’s been a long while since I have been obsessed with a Tamil movie (well, Telugu dubbed to Tamil, but meh.), and it’s music, because, let’s face it - English series have wayyyy better OST than Tamil serials (yuck), and movies, with the exception of great artists like ARR, Ilayaraja, and all those people from before 2010s 

Ahem. Getting off track here. Buuuttt I guess that’s what happens when you just remain and a silent spectator, and don’t join a conversation for a loonggggg time, huh? 

Either way, I intend to stay active here. Oh, and as for RamBheem - no offense to all the RamBheem followers, but, I have been a sucker for platonic brotherly relationship for a quite a while now, so, my brain won’t allow me to ship RamBheem, or Tarak and Charan. But, that does not mean I don’t enjoy reading you guys’ ideas and fics - it just means that my brain will just convert their relationship to a platonic one. Sorry!

Also, I noticed a post here talking about Ram and Bheem’s hug - Ohhh yes! I wanted a hug too! Desperately! Who am I kidding, I still doooooo! It would be amafuckzing if they had hugged during the scene that has been dubbed as the Titanic Pose by you amazayn people. 

Sooo, ramble time is up. Looking forward to interacting with you people!

 Love, Maya.

[demonic-silver-and-gold]

Hello~! If you’re ok with it can I have hc’s with Asmo, Mammon, Levi, Beel, and Belphie with a himbo bf. Like just the biggest beefiest dude looks really angry but like sees his bf ans just like radiates pure joy, is just so stupid he’s doing his best though, but like y’know the classic himbo qualities pretty please 🥺

Aaaa this ask is pretty old I’m sorry! ;-; I’m going to do Asmo and Belphie on a separate post just to get what I’ve written already out, I hope that’s okay! It’s just a little harder to write for those two for some reason. I’ll tag you if you’d like, I hope you like it!

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

Himbo MC {he/him pronouns}

=================================

Mammon

-Okay, when they first met he was slightly intimidated by MC’s build, he looked like he could take on Beel if he wasn’t a demon!

-But once he became his guide he soon realized just how soft MC was. He wouldn’t even hurt a fly!

-So, fast forward to Mammon’s confession. He invited MC to go to a nice restaurant, and when he agreed Mammon felt ready to confess his feelings… except things didn’t quite go according to plan. Here’s what sort of went down:

… … …

“MC, I like you.”

“Heh, thanks, I like you too, you’re a great friend!”

“Wh-no! I meant it as in I like like you.”

“I… don’t think I get it.”

“Romantically, damn it!”

“Oh? Oh-ohhh. I like you romantically too!”

… … …

-Just, absolute sunshine after MC realized it was a confession. His smile was so bright Mammon couldn’t look away or pay attention to anything but MC.

-The two of them are rarely separated, so MC’s softer side is visible most of the time, but when they’re apart MC never gets bothered. He’s like a wall of muscle and Mammon’s boyfriend, who’d want to mess with him?

-But really, the two of them spend a lot of time together in Mammon’s room, MC giving the demon a piggy back ride with joy (not that Mammon’s complaining any more, he learned to stop doing that after MC took his fake complaints seriously).

-Truly, what a wonderful couple they are. <3

=================================

Leviathan

-Oh, this guy was definitely intimidated by MC. How they even began to get close is a mystery to his brothers.

-In reality, MC was curious about what Levi was playing one day and once they began talking, Levi realized how not intimidating he truly was.

-MC made sure he was eating actual food and going to bed at a reasonable time, something that Levi really came to appreciate as he began having to rely less on energy drinks to get through the school day.

-And speaking of which, since Levi’s taking classes online MC always looks upset at RAD which is easily mistaken with anger due to his physique.

-The brothers soon realized that it was just separation sadness as he began cheering up when they all got home and MC ran to Levi’s room excitedly.

-That ^^^ was even before the two of them began dating, meaning that the brothers had to intervene and get them together as Levi’s too shy and awkward to confess first and MC seemed to be clueless to his own feelings.

-So, after a lot of thinking, convincing, and forcing them to just confess already the two of them got in a relationship finally

-What Levi hadn’t considered but he soon came to realize was that people clearly avoided the two of them when they went out — truly a blessing when they went to cons together more reason to take him along shhh

-Truly, he’s Levi’s savior when he orders heavy stuff that needs to be taken to his room, and seeing MC gladly help him make him feel happy ^-^

=================================

Beelzebub

-Himbo x Himbo

-Really, they’re both just absolute sweethearts but can overestimate their own strengths ;-;

-While the other brothers may have been intimidated by MC, Beel’s first (well, second) thought was wondering what MC’s exercise routine was to look that strong.

-Training dates are a must, and even Beel gets impressed by how well MC manages to keep up with him even with his human limitations.

-But of course, sometimes being that strong but not as smart in that regard can be an interesting experience.

-The amount of times the brothers have had to stop the two of them from almost dying from their training ideas is just a bit ridiculous.

-The two of them can get away with so much together just from how excited and happy they are together, they just have little emotional filter that it’s clear no one should interrupt their happiness.,

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

I hope this is something like how you pictured it! Have a nice day ^-^

[svnaslove]

post-it notes ♡

characters: sugawara, bokuto

summary: it’s basically just them flirting with their s/o using post-it notes 

(i thought it was cute okay)

genre: fLUFF

warnings: be prepared for just how fluffy this is because it’s so cute omg

You two honestly don’t even know when or how this started, it just,, started?

During classes, in the halls, face to face, it was just you guys’s thing

It didn’t take long for people to notice the cute little thing you guys had going on of passing post-it notes to each other all of the time

EVERYONE thought you were dating, truth is, you both liked each other but were both too scared to confess to the other.

One day you decided to confess but you were really nervous, you didn’t know how you would do this and you didn’t want to ruin your friendship.

But then you decided it was better to confess then to be like this any longer

Suga made you happy and he was your best friend, what could go wrong?

So here you are, holding little heart-shaped post-it notes in your hands that you had just gotten at the convenience store and your cheeks flushed because you had ran all the way there and back to try to make it back in time.

“meet me behind the gym before the game - bug”

Oh yeah, did I mention? You have post-it note codenames for each other

You were bug and he was kit-kat

this is so cute im screaming

the nicknames had come from just random moments

You were bug because your were freaking SHORT and he was kit-kat because one day you brought him one and he got so excited and he had accidently left a little bit of chocolate in the corner of his lips and you didn’t bother to mention it to him until after he had come to sit down from his presentation in front of the whole class KDJFLSDK

“i loved that presentation kit-kat” you smiled slyly at his confused face. “Kit-Kat?” Suga asked a little confused. You reached to the chocolate at the corner of his lips and wiped it off of his lips with your thumb and then licked the chocolate off of your thumb. 

Suga baby was a MESS

Baby was blushing so hard he couldn’t function for the rest of the day

Error 404 suga.exe has stopped functioning

He couldn’t look at you without blushing for a whole week

So here you were, sticking this post-it note to his locker (which you knew he would go to to get his volleyball bag), telling him to meet you behind the gym before his practice game vs. nekoma so you could confess to him how you literally fell head over heels for him

You were twiddling with the bottom of your skirt as you saw Sugawara approach you from a little distance. Maybe telling him to meet you here was mistake? Maybe you should just say that you wanted to wish him good luck on the game? no, you had to tell him, it was to late to back out now and you it was getting harder and harder to hold back your feelings. mama ain’t raise a lil bitch.

Suga held your little heart shaped post-it note with your careful handwriting up and waved it. “I got your note.” he smiled, completely oblivious to what was about to happen. How were you supposed to confess to him when he was being so cute. UGH. 

“i uhm, needed to talk to you suga-kun.” you said twiddling with your fingers now. Sugawara noticed how tense you were and decided to stay quiet and pay attention to what you had to say, he didn’t want to ruin it since it seemed important. 

“you can tell me y/n” a little smile on his face.

“uhm, okay, well, i-, i like you suga, and not just you know, friendship like you, like, like LIKE you.” you stuttered out, feeling your cheeks heat up so much it would be noticeable even if it were dark out. 

Suga walked up to you with a little smirk (he was trying to keep it down i swear he didn’t want to make you freak out more but he couldn’t help it) 

“do you have any more of these post-it notes?” he asked simply. 

“I- what? Uhm yea, i think so.” confused, you took out the pack of heart-shaped stick notes and handed it to him. 

Suga took out a sharpie from his pocket and started writing on it, when he was done he just sticked it to your forehead and walked away. (YOUR FOREHEAD, I KNOW)

You were so confused you thought this wasn’t actually happening. You took the sticky note and read it.

“i like you too dummy - kit-kat”

Your heart JUMPED out of your chest. You blushed again you noticed something was written behind it too.

“wait for me at the entrance to the gym after the game”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karasuno had won the practice match against Nekoma which had only motivated Nekoma more to practice for a real dumpster match. You laughed at the sight of the captains of both teams trying to be as sportsman like as possible to each other failing miserably because Daichi seemed like he wanted to break out into a dance and Kuroo looked like he was about to cry.

You waited at the entrance, spacing out and looking up at the stars in the sky. Only to be brought back by the familiar voice calling your name. 

“y/nn !” Suga called.

“Hi Suga!” you called back.

He stopped in front of you and blushed.

“Let me walk you home” 

“Okay” you smiled.

The two of you walked together holding pinkies under the starry sky that night and when you two had stopped in front of your house he had given you a kiss in the cheek, making you both blush.

“Good night, y/n”

“Good night, Suga”

lmao it started in the middle of volleyball practice

being one of the managers you had to take notes for the team for their plays etc.. so you had plenty of post-it notes

bokuto was being loud again, like always

“AKAASHI DID YOU SEE THAT, DID YOU SEE THAT AKAASHI”

you just walked up to him and stuck the sticky note right on his forehead

he turned it around and it said

“ssshhh, we saw it bokuto, good job”

bokuto literally stopped functioning because it was so out of nowhere and he wasn’t expecting that

he just stood there for a solid 20 seconds watching you walk away with the sticky note in his hand

akaashi was literally shook “y/n please do that more often just to shut him up”

i don’t know know what it was not even bokuto knows himself but after that he got such a big crush on you

maybe it was the way you got his attention with something so small?

so after that he got his own pair of sticky notes just to mess with you

he would write little notes to make you blush to try to get your attention like you got his, and he would be really sweet in the notes

“you look really pretty today :D “

“thank you for always helping our team :)”

yes, he drew the smiley faces too

and each and everyone of those post-it notes brought a little blush to your cheeks

not short after you ended up getting a crush on bokuto too and you would try to get him flustered with them too

“you’re doing really good today bokuto :)”

“are you a volleyball because i’d hit that ;)”

it’s safe to say that he short-circuited when you gave him that second one and just walked away and in that day, he had never played a practice match like how he did that day because he really wanted to impress you

the team had noticed you guys’s little post-it note thing and thought it was so cute

konoha and sarukui and yukie all had a game where they would watch to see the exchange of the sticky notes and laughed at how your faces would get so red after reading each others sticky notes

bokuto would try his hardest to make sure the post-it note was perfect

he would spend time on every little detail, he wanted his handwriting to be nice and the doodles around it to be perfect so he would be extra attentive to make sure it went the way he wanted and it freaked akaashi out because he had never seen bokuto pay so much attention to anything other than volleyball

no seriously, akaashi was literally freaked (in a good way) because bokuto would be silent for like 5 minutes focusing on his post-it of the day

not long after, you guys started dating and sometimes bokuto would have his arm around you and his hand would slip into the back pocket of your jeans to leave his post-it note there and he liked to watch how your cheeks would get so red, he thought it was so cute

for some reason you guys just forgot to tell the team you two were dating, you guys just thought that they thought you already were?

so uhm, this is how they found out

you were writing on your clipboard, taking notes for the practice getting the next volleyball camp set up for the boys. the team was setting everything up for practice to start and Akaashi was walking up to you to ask a question about the next training camp when OUT OF NOWHERE FREAKING BOKUTO SHOWS UP RUNNING TOWARDS YOU WITH A STICKY NOTE IN HIS HAND HE JUST SLAPS YOUR ASS WITH THE HAND THAT HAS THE STICKY NOTE AND KISSES YOUR CHEEK AND RUNS PAST YOU LIKE IT’S NOTHING. 

Mind you the whole team just saw everything and Akaashi was right there so he not only got a front row seat to the sound you made when Bokuto slapped your ass but he also could read what Bokuto wrote on the post-it note.

Your face was SO red and you reached for the sticky note stuck on your ass.

“your ass looks really good in those pants baby :)”

again with the smiley faces, i know

Akaashi knew that he liked you but he had no idea that you guys were dating so he literally yelled “what the FUCK BOKUTO” and Konoha was about to spike a volleyball at him and Yukie was about to call the police before you could stop them and Bokuto and you had to tell them that you guys were dating😭😭

“ohhh but still, whAT THE FUCK I WAS RIGHT THERE” Akaashi spluttered.

“sorry akaashiiii” bokuto said, his hair going down about to go into emo mode. you kissed him in the cheek and he sprung up with the new found energy and gave you a big hug and you giggled.

“okay! let’s get this practice started!” bokuto yelled and started jogging over to the volleyballs after giving you a little kiss at the top of your head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s note: hey i hope you guys enjoyed it, this is was my first time doing this style of writing with the bullet points and the multiple characters in one post so i hope it was cute ^^

also im doing requests now so if you guys have any requests for me to write you can ask here :)

[algumaideia]

The ableism in the Acotar series

I was thinking about all the problematic aspects of the Acotar books, and I realized that they are pretty ableist. I don’t know if someone have already talked about it, but just in case I’ll do it. But before I start, I need to say some things:

1. I haven’t read the series for a while, and I don’t remember some stuff. So, I might write something that is wrong.

2. I’m not disabled myself. This post is based on my research about disabilities and how disabled people are represented in the media. I have a lot of interest in the subject, and I also researched about it because I’m writing a story with several disabled characters. I also did a school project about assistive technologies.

3. English is not my mother language and I’m still learning it. There are gonna be spelling and grammar mistakes. I’m sorry about it, but it is life.

4. I haven’t read the acosf book, so maybe SJM changed the story or some character in this book and therefore my post will be incorrect.

5. Besides the fact that I consider Emerie to be disabled, I won’t talk about her in the post. Because as I said I didn’t read acosf and I think that her appearance in the acofas has the same purpose that the other female Illyrians (since Idk how to write Illyrians this will be write wrong in the entire post, I’m sorry).

6. I forget the name of some characters and I don’t want to search it, so I’ll just give them new names.

Now let’s begin.

I’ll analyze the following characters in this post: Papa Acheron, Lucien, Cassian and Ianthe, the woman from the library and the female Illyrians, the female creature from the forest, the Illyrian soldiers that came back from the war and the girl who couldn’t fly. I think I forgot someone, but patience. In the end of the post I’ll talk about disabilities, ableism and worldbuilding.

I also would like to say that almost all her characters got their disability as a punishment, and the problem with this is that it always links disability with something bad.

Papa Acheron:

As I said Papa Acheron got his disability as a punishment, since he didn’t pay his debts, some people went in this house and broke his leg. I might be wrong, but I think that it didn’t healed well and because of that he has chronic pain. So, to better analyze him I’ll compare him to two other characters with chronic pain, Kaz Brekker and Melissa, one of my main characters.

Papa Acheron became useless after he became disabled. He thought he was useless and by extension Feyre thought it too. I’m not saying that internalized ableism doesn’t exist, but the narrative never calls it out. Feyre accepts this excuse, it is kind of implied that if he weren’t disabled, he would be able to help his family and get money. Now let’s look to Kaz (I haven’t read the second book of the duology, please no spoilers). He accepts his disability, not only that but he uses his cane as one of his symbols. He goes against the idea that a disabled person is stuck with a cane or a wheelchair or whatever. He feels free with his cane. Now, this doesn’t mean that every disabled character needs to feel okay with his disability. My character, Melissa, feels a lot of anger because of her chronic pain. It hurts her, it disrupts her plans, it makes her suffer. However, it didn’t stop her to live her life and she also is not seeking anyone’s pity, which is very different from the Papa Acheron situation. Mel has friends, a social life, she studies, she will have a job, she will date, get married and have children. She doesn’t feel mad because she is disabled, she is also autistic, and she loves that part of herself. What bothers her is that her disability makes her feels a lot of pain. Papa Acheron is just someone to you feel bad and angry about. He doesn’t do anything because he is disabled and believes that this makes his useless and the narrative kind of agrees with him.

Lucien:

Lucien doesn’t have one eye, and that’s what makes him disabled. He became disabled as a punishment for falling in love with a lesser fae and not only that, but he is only without his mechanic/magic eye when he is on his worse. He was without his eye when his family was torturing and banishing him. And then when he was UTM. Again, disability being connected with bad things. Now about his mechanic eye. The first time that Feyre describes his eye she says it is creepy. Which is bad. But also, why it had to be magic and give him the ability to see spells or something like that (this was never brought back btw)? Why can’t he have a normal mechanical eye? Why he needs a mechanical eye? Why does his mechanical eye need to compensate the fact he is disabled? He is as much complete with and without his eye.

Cassin and Ianthe:

I put this two together for one reason, their disabilities were cured. I’ll talk about Cassian first. When they invaded Hybrein (I also don’t know how to write the name of the country) they hurt his wings badly. And considering that to Illyrians the wings are as much a limb as an arm or a leg, he was disabled for a while. (I’m aware that to something be considered a disability it needs to be long lasting. But I think that the fact that it was cured is ableist, if I’m not wrong the text said it was a miracle he was healed.)Then we had Cassian in the floor with his wings all damaged, suffering a lot, what a horrible scene. But don’t worry! The next time he’ll appear completely cured, because being disabled is such a horrible thing and SJM never used deus ex machina to save her characters. So, this injured made him disabled for a while, and it could be interesting. The wings are the Illyrian symbol, the symbol of their toxic masculinity and their sexism. Cassian being disabled because of his wings would make him revalue his culture and his own idea of masculinity and it would be so amazing. But he was cured. I think that this makes Cassian falls in the disabled for one day trope. Just like Ianthe. First the way she became disabled was disgusting. Feyre invading her mind was such a horrible thing to do. I’m not denying that Ianthe is a terrible person/fae but that doesn’t change the fact that it was a horrible scene. I really dislike characters with telepathic powers, because for me their powers are crossing a line. They invade and control someone’s mind. They take off the person free will. They basically turn the person in a robot. If I remember correctly when Feyre made Ianthe broke her hand it was with the purpose to make it useless. And when she appeared again in all her glory she was, surprise, surprise, cured.

The woman from the library and the female Illyrians:

I put they together because their disabilities are used for the same two purposes. The first is that they became disabled as a punishment for being female, and the second it to show how FEMINIST Rhysand is. He isn’t feminist, so all these women suffered for nothing. Again, disability being linked with bad things. The symbol of the female Illyrians suffering is they becoming disabled. NOT GOOD AT ALL. About the woman from the library, she was there to also show how good Feyre is. She is there so we can feel pity of her. She didn’t deserve it.

The female creature who couldn’t see:

My problem with her is that it is implied/said that she has better senses because she is blind. And that’s not how it works?? People just pay more attention in what they hear, touch or smell when they are blind/visually impaired.

The girl who couldn’t fly:

I'm gonna call her Anna. First Anna is like the only character who just have a disability. No trauma, no war, no punishment. She just has. Then she is a great disabled character, right? Wrong. She has inspirational porn written all over her story. She is there to make Feyre feel better about herself and make other abled people/fae feel inspired. She is there so we can say: ohhh poor thing, but at least she overcame her disability and now can fly. So ableist. Anna is also only valued after proving herself useful. That is wrong. Disabled people should be valued because they are people. They don’t need to be amazing in anything to be treated with respect.

The Illyrian soldiers:

My problem with them is how their disability is used to reinforce sexism and make Cassian and Rhysand feel bad. But what about the Illyrian soldiers? How are they feeling? It seems this is not important. They also bother me because of worldbuilding questions.

Disabilities, ableism and worldbuilding:

First, why humans and fae feel the same about disabled people? Feyre has the same opinion the IC have. And the humans and fae were separated for 500 years. This doesn’t make sense. Every court think the same thing about disabled fae? Does something change if the disabled fae is a lesser or a higher fae? It should make a difference. A real world example of how social class affects the way disabled people are treated: the first school for deaf people created only taught children of the nobles.

And why the way people look to disabled fae didn’t change after the war? What about the assistive technology? You know what, it is unrealistic the fact that we don’t have any assistive technology in this world. But this happen in the antient times, how could there be any assistive technology? First, assistive technology is everything that helps a disabled person, a cane, a screen reader, a scooter. Everything can be an assistive technology. Second, assistive technologies exist since the antiente times. One of the oldest prothesis were found in a mummy. There is a painting of Hephaestus using a wheelchair. And considering that this series happens in what was supposed to be the Middle ages, it was supposed to have assistive technologies. Wheelchairs during this time were heavy and the user couldn’t use it by himself, but they existed. There are records of a king using a wheelchair during the middle ages. And I mean with the war something was supposed to change. The first place to blind people in the France was created because 300 soldiers came back from the crusades without their eyes. It was in the century 20 that disabled people started to be more included in the society. And one of the reasons were the soldiers that came back from WW1 and WW2 disabled. Not only that but in war times the technology improves, so a lot of new assistive technologies and materials were created during this time. The first record of guide dogs comes from 1819 in school in Vienna, but it didn’t work. Only after WW1 that guide dogs appeared again. And you know with what purpose? Help veterans that were blind due to the war. Braille was a system used for the French army during battles. Louis Braille only made it simpler. The war should change something.

Why is the world ableist?  The excuse that this is an antient society doesn’t work my friend. The Egypt was a very including country. Blind people could be part of any social class. Dwarfs were part of the society since they had a dwarf god. In antient Japan blind people were expected to be independent. They could work with music, religion, telling stories etc. And the work of telling stories was very important since it made the Japanese tradition to continue. The excuse that this is an antient society is just this, an excuse. Now she could have used to say something. Leigh Bardugo used the ableism of her world to criticize the ableism of our world. I’m doing the same thing with my story. SJM made an ableist world just because.

That was my analysis. I’m sorry this was very long. I know this was a little confusing, but it was very difficult to put all the stuff that was in my mind in text. In my mind everythig made sense, but when I was writing it I realized I wasn’t following a logical argument. If that makes sense. Anyway, thank you for reading it.

If you read the books and realized I wrote something wrong, please tell me. If you are disabled and think I said something offensive, I’d love to hear you. If you are non-disabled and want to comment and give your opinion, feel free. And if you don’t want to comment, don’t do it. You can do whatever you want.

Best regards,

Me.

Ps. This is my first post in Tumblr, so I don’t know if I tagged it right, if you want to help, I would be really grateful.

[thanxxskz]

all thanks to berry - b.c

"how did you and chan hyung meet?" jeongin asked

"hm" you started "we met in sidney, i was there for vacations with my brother and a couple of friends. he lost berry and i happened to find her. thankfully she had a necklace with a number to call in case she got lost, and that number was chan's house. we met up at a park" you finished

"ohhh, so it was all thanks to berry"

[flashback]

"oh, a dog here alone?" you said to yourself "thank god, you have a necklace with a phone number"

you dialed the phone and a male voice answered "hello?"

"uh, hi. i found a dog wandering alone and this was the number on its necklace-"

"oh, thank god! thanks for calling, where are you?"

"i am next to the hyde park, there's a small cafeteria there, but i can wait in one of the benches in the park"

"that's great, thank you again! i'll tell my son to go pick up our dog, he's got blonde hair, our dog will recognise him immediately"

half an hour later, berry was asleep on your lap, and you were caressing her. suddenly, she stood up and started barking, making you flinch.

a boy came up running, and you guessed it was the son of the man you spoke with half an hour ago.

"i'm sorry, i hope you didn't wait for long" he said, smiling apologetically "i'm chan, the owner of berry, thank you for calling"

"it's okay, don't worry, she was really calm. and i'm y/n" you said, smiling

he asked you were you were staying and turned out it was not far from his house, so he decided to walk you there.

"thank you for accompanying me"

"oh, no. thank you for finding my dear berry, i was so worried today"

you smiled and went on your knees "see you soon, berry"

you smiled chan, and when you were about to leave, he held your wrist "i would like to see you again soon, too"

[end of flashback]

the room became a shouting mess when you said the last sentence that chris had told you when you first met in sidney.

"hyung, i didn't know you were such a flirt!" jeongin commented

his ears were red "shut upppp"

"noona, you came to korea because of chan hyung?" jisung asked

you hummed "partly? i guess. i was in my last grade of uni and i kind of had already found a job in korea. korea was not my first option to work in, but after meeting chan and you know, having mutual feelings, i could not let the chance of being here with him go"

chan held your hand, shy.

"hyung, we have to thank you too because thanks to you we met y/n noona"

"yeah yeah but she's mine" he said, jokingly

"i don't think i would be able to change my course of life for just one person, so easily, i mean" minho said

"i thought like that too, to be honest. but it all changes when you find the right person. my brother constantly asked me if i was sure of my decision, because as you say, is something big. going to a new country, having to change so many things... but it's so worthy when you are in the airport and your person is waiting for you"

they all cooed at your words "so chan hyung is your person?" changbin asked

"he definitely is, yeah" you said smiling to chan and kissing his cheek

the boys stopped asking questions and changed the topic. they wanted to embarrass their leader but ended up thinking that what he had was true love, and after almost a year dating you, they could see he had become a little bit happier.

chan tugged your shirt, and quietly asked you if you wanted to go to the rooftop. you nodded, the boys didn't realise you had left. they weren't going to go anywhere though.

both of you looked at the stars in the sky, and both of you were in your best moment.

"you know" chris started "what you said down there, about me being your person" you nodded "you're my person too"

you smiled, side hugging him, slightly swinging from side to side "and thank you, for changing your life just for me. i don't think i'm worth that much but you didn't hesitate one second" he continued "my job isn't easy and you're still there loving me, thank you for that too"

you pecked his lips "i love you, chris. and that means i love everything about you. i knew what i was getting myself into the moment we started dating, and even before then. you're worth everything and i should be the one thankful that you're with me, i know sometimes i can be a burden, but you never leave"

he hugged your waist, putting his face in the crook of your neck, giving small kisses that he damn well knew tickled you "i love you, so much"

you couldn't believe how lucky you were. during that year together, he had been with you through so much hardships, and when you felt homesick, he was there too. he was always there. you still remember vividly the day he introduced you to the boys, and how all of you immediately clicked, making chris the happiest man on earth. or when he asked you to move in with him, and you agreed in a heartbeat. those sweet moments were with you forever and you were so lucky to be the one living them and no one else.

you decided to come downstairs and ask the boys if they wanted to leave already. they all said yes, and after paying, you left to the dorms with the boys. it had been long since chris had been there, and you too, so the boys wanted you both to stay the night.

in the end, it was all thanks to berry.

-

a/n: i had this written in my notes since the 4th of march and never posted it so here it goes djdjdbr i love chan i really do

[caramelcal]

the girl in the red dress

a/n: sorry for my lack of motivation and content...enjoy though : )

warnings: swearing

just to clear a few things up- in this, i would suspect after Luke got obsessed w/ her, reggie was told to never speak of her, even possible threatened, bribed not to do so etc so he didn’t speak. 

and luke became so obsessed w/ her that people thought he loved her...which, if set back in the 1800s or whatever, could have been possible cause he was like crazy obsessed even after only knowing her for like 30 mins. didn’t some of them meet for like two weeks before they got married and stuff lol idk.

plus, this was written purely because i was bored, wanted to produce some content and post, this wasn’t made to be 110% accurate, yet if there are things you think i could change just drop me a wee message :) 

Luke Tag: @rachmmb @phantompogues @meanergreener 

Masterlist

not my gif

“Nana, why does everyone say that King Lucas is so unhappy?”

The older woman in the room looked up towards the small boy, a tuft of blond hair sprawled out on the top of his head, the features on his face only to be seen by the light given by the fire. She put her half-knitted blanket down onto her lap as she shuffled slightly, looking towards her grandson with a small smile.

“Why do you ask, dear?”

The small boy shuffled awkwardly, blue eyes looking towards the older woman with a curious glint in them that she knew all too well, “Well, I heard people talking about how sad he was, saying how bad it was he never got to marry the girl that he loved and I asked mama and she wouldn’t say.”

“Well, dear, there’s a legend about why King Lucas is unhappy but we can’t ever speak of it outside of these walls, alright?” She said to the young boy, who nodded eagerly in return, “Okay, have you ever heard of the girl in the red dress?”

Classical music played around them as she stood in hand with a flute of champagne in her hand. She was simply seventeen, not old enough to be drinking yet but it wasn’t like anyone would notice or care. A mask was situated proudly on her face, covering the area around her eyes and over her nose, leaving simply her lips and chin exposed, and the top of her forehead.

A red dress hugged her figure, corset pulled in uncomfortably tight, yet she was used to it. She had been wearing corsets for years. A boy stood to her side, leaning against the wall. He was a courtier, and one of the closest friends to the prince, but he was also your friend.

“Not enjoying yourself much I see,” He commented, looking over her figure with a small smirk. She turned back around to look at him, a playful smile on her lips as she rolled her eyes.

Walking closer to the boy, she flicked at a small piece of hair that strayed from the rest of his hair, trying to fix it but it simply fell back down again, “Can’t imagine you are either.”

“Only here for him, obviously. Emotional support,” His eyes are on the ballroom where the prince stands, pretty girls, possible suitors, surrounding him. He’s one of the only people without a mask on, even the girls around him have masks on.

It’s a known fact that these events were for the prince to find a possible suitor, despite wanting to marry for love. Sure, he knew that marrying to unite kingdoms was important, but he didn’t want to sell his life away to a woman that he didn’t know or like. He wanted to be with someone that he loved, he didn’t want to miss out on the experience everyone else got just because he was royalty.

“Yeah, he looks like he needs tons of emotional support,” She snorted lightly, looking over at the prince. He was basking in the attention he was given by the girls, a charming smile on his face that would win over any girl that he wanted.

“He doesn’t enjoy these nearly as much as you think he does,” The boy beside her spoke, making her roll her eyes.

“I’m sure he doesn’t,” She replied, arms crossing over her stomach yet still keeping the flute of champagne in her hand. Her back comes in contact with the wall so that she is standing beside her friend, but her eyes remain on the prince, “he sure looks like he’s suffering.”

The sarcasm that comes out of her mouth is something that the boy is used to, especially considering that he had known her for so long. A smile graced his face when he rolled his eyes, gaze briefly flickering over to her to see her staring at the prince on the dancefloor. He seemed to be finishing his conversation, itching to get away from the girl who was trying to get close to him, laughing obnoxiously loud that they can almost hear her from the other side of the ballroom.

“He’s not that bad you know.”

“Never said he was, Reg,” She sighed, dropping her arms slightly as she takes the last drink from her flute of champagne before placing it down on the table beside her. Her gaze strayed from the prince and towards her friend Reginald, who is already looking at her, “What?”

The boy doesn’t answer her question and instead continues to stare at her, making her huff out in annoyance. His lack of response urged her to ask again, “What, Reginald? Why are you looking at me like that? Is this still about the prince? Why are you so hellbent on making me befriend the entitled prick?”

“What was that, angel?” Her body went rigid from the sound of the voice behind her, making her eyes look back up to Reggie in alarm before turning around, seeing he was not going to be of any help.

She came face to face with the prince himself, who smirked down at her with a playful glint in his eyes. However, she didn’t back down like everyone else would with him and instead sent him a sarcastic smile in return, “I asked Reginald here why he was so hellbent in making me befriend an entitled prick.”

“Ohhh,” The prince reeled his head back slightly, nodding his head, and somehow his crown didn’t move, much less fall as she expected it to. It said mockingly on the top of his hair, glinting in the light provided by the overhead chandelier that probably cost more than her house.

He held his hand out with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at the younger girl clad in red as he asked, “Well would you be so courteous as to offering this entitled prick to a dance?”

His offer hung in the air as she hesitated to answer, an eyebrow raised, not sure if the prince had ulterior motives. That’s all she could have expected, given that she did call him an entitled prick. His hand never wavered nor did his smirk, eyes glinting as the girl’s green eyes met his.

Slowly, with a discrete nudge from Reggie, she slipped her hand into his and was whisked into the middle of the room, one hand at the crook of the Prince’s elbow and the other clasped in his other hand. He smiled down at her, giving her the same smile that he gave every girl but he knew this wouldn’t make her swoon as it did everyone else.

She wasn’t worshipping the ground he walked on unlike those other girls, but he always did like a challenge.

They moved expertly to the music and she kept up with his every move, challenging the grueling lessons that he had experienced to be good at ballroom dancing, making him thoroughly surprised. He had been expecting her to fall, to step on his newly polished dress shoes, to trip over her own crimson dress but she didn’t. She made it look easy, in fact.

“I’m surprised,” He commented, eyebrows raised as his eyes traveled down towards her high heel clad feet moving expertly. Her eyes looked up to meet his, noticing the smirk on his lips, “you’re quite good at this for a peasant.”

“Whoever said I was a peasant?”

He didn’t reply as she spun out, but he kept her hand clasped in his. Everyone’s eyes were on them, despite a few other people dancing. This girl was one they had never seen before, dancing with their beloved prince but he hardly paid any mind to the people that surrounded them and instead kept laser-focused on the brunette girl who spun back towards him.

She, however, was more bothered by their gaze, considering she wasn’t used to it. Despite her face being covered by a mask and providing a little protection to her identity, she was used to slipping into the shadows, going unnoticed by everyone. Yet now, she was standing in the middle of the ballroom with the prince, and everyone’s eyes on them as they danced to the music.

No one could hear them, and that somehow made their conversations even more exhilarating. Everyone was watching, but had no idea what was going on.

“Who are you?” He couldn’t help but ask the question that he had floating around in his head from the moment he caught sight of her standing beside Reginald, one of his closest advisors, talking like they were old friends. Ever since he had seen her, he had been itching to get away from the people that tried to strike up a conversation, his curiosity getting the best of him.

It was safe to say he was enraptured by her, not only how she looked in that incredibly flattering red dress or the way she presented herself, but the way that she wasn’t putty in his hands; not yet, anyway. He couldn’t see most of her face, and instead only seen the way her green eyes glowed under the chandelier’s light, and the way her lips curved into a smirk.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, your highness?”

“So we’re at your highness now, and not entitled prick, are we?” His question was taunting, but an amused tone underlined his words as he smirked down at her.

“We could always go back,” The girl suggested, a piece of her perfectly curled brown hair falling in front of her face.

He didn’t even think twice as he let go of her hand, using his thumb to wipe the hair out and away from her face, her green eyes peering up to him with uncertainty. They weren’t dancing anymore, and simply were standing in the middle of the ballroom with everyone’s eyes on them. He could see from the corner of his eye his mother coming across to get him, to introduce him to more possible brides now that he had had his fun.

“Personally, I like the way you say your highness, but I think Prince Lucas would sound even better,” He made no move to increase the distance between them, chests almost touching as his hand fell from her face and down to her shoulder, his other hand still tightened securely around her waist, “But you can only call me that if I get your name, angel.”

“Too bad you won’t find out, the music stopped minutes ago and the queen has almost reached us,” Just before he can tighten his hold on the shorter girl she slipped through his hold, stepping back with a smirk, “Have a nice night, prince Lucas.”

She didn’t look back as she walked away coolly, back off to the side where Reginald still stood. Even when the queen arrived beside her son, who now stood by himself on the dance floor, his eyes remained on the girl’s figure, not even noticing his mother was talking to him until he was whisked away and taken off to other people by her.

Even when he continued to go through his evening, meeting many more possible future wives and chatting up a conversation he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander back over to the girl. In fact, his thoughts never strayed once from her the entire evening, or for the several weeks after. He ran through their conversation, both on and off the ballroom floor, trying to pick at any possible clues to who she was, where she could be, or anything about her whatsoever.

Reginald was no help considering Lucas hadn’t seen him since the event but Lucas couldn’t help himself but be overcome with thoughts about her and without any new leads, he became more and more frustrated as the time went on. He couldn’t explain who she was, because there was no way to explain; they wouldn’t know who she was.

From his obsession grew whispers, rumors even, about the girl in the red dress. After he had asked so many people about her, these whispers grew and people believed that prince Lucas was in love and even ten, fifteen, twenty years later, people still talked about her. About the girl that the prince, now king, would have married if she didn’t disappear.

She became a legend, one that King Lucas was forbidden to talk about and one that got his wife, Queen Georgina, became furious about simply at the mention of the younger girl. It was a known fact that King Lucas wasn’t happy in his marriage with the Queen, but one they also could never talk about. He never got to marry for love, and instead had to marry to unite kingdoms as an allegiance to help the Queen’s kingdom from war.

So after the marriage of the royal couple, the girl in the red dress became a murmur, spoke about only behind closed doors, stories that the people in the kingdom would tell the children when they asked why King Lucas was so miserable.

“Well, it all started with the girl in the red dress...”