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gimmie-a-sammich · 4 months ago

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Absolution | Chapter 2 | An Unexpected Announcement

Pairings: Resistance!Ateez x Fem!Original Character, Resistance!??? x Fem!Original Character, feat other idols

Genre: (18+ Minors DNI) Dystopian au, smut, angst, fluff

Summary: Absolution: act of absolving; a freeing from blame or guilt; release from consequences, obligations, or penalties. Haunted by the guilt of her choices, Serafina desperately searches for a way to atone for her sins. In a world ruled by power and corruption, will she find the forgiveness she seeks? Is she worthy of absolution? Maybe stumbling upon the resistance is the answer she's been looking for.

Chapter Warnings: PTSD, panic attack, deception, manipulation, mentions of past trauma, mentions of past deaths

Word Count: 13.5k

read here on AO3

Absolution Masterlist

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The sound of rain nearly drowned out Sera’s thoughts, letting her rest for just a little while longer. Sleep had eluded her recently, even more so of late. It had been days since the mission, but the picture of what happened remained burned into her brain. Remorse coupled with the question of her and her brothers’ safety had her perpetually on edge.

Thankfully their unit had been benched until further notice while the Crown gathered more information about just how real this threat was. Sera had no complaints with the lack of missions, although she was quickly becoming stir crazy locked in the confines of the royal compound. Not that she was allowed to leave any other time. Her only excursions consisted of missions or when she was able to roam the nearby military base that housed her unit’s headquarters. It was as tightly guarded and surveillanced as her home, but at least it provided a change of scenery.

She sat up, her plush comforter pooling around her waist with the movement. With a sigh she brushed fallen pieces of hair out of her face to look out her large picture window. The sky was bleak, filled with nothing but black clouds as rain pounded the glass. Her room was dim from the lack of light even at this early hour. The clock next to her read half past seven, a much later hour than she typically rose.

Her typical schedule had been thrown to the wayside. Normally, Sera rose with the sun to train, always preparing for some mission or military exercise. Helping Changkyu with recruits. Catching up on reading. Studying. Sparring with Ryland. Avoiding her mother at all costs. Eating when she had time. Crawling into bed. Hoping sleep would come eventually. Now that she was on the sidelines everything could be done at her leisure. But leisure wasn’t something Sera was accustomed to.

But today she had plans. Small plans, but plans nonetheless, something to break up the monotony of the past days. Ryland had done his best to cheer her up, but not even her little brother could lift her spirits. The sky outside echoed the emotions raging within her and Sera struggled to find a way to quell the storm.

Reluctantly Sera pulled herself out of bed, flicking on the lights while she walked to her closet. She threw on a pair of thick black joggers and a white cropped long sleeved shirt. Perfect for sparring. The sleeves covered a majority of her tattoos, but black vines were still visible on her exposed torso and fingers with hints of color scattered about. Before heading to the bathroom she laced up her favorite pair of tennis shoes.

Sera took a quick inventory of herself in the bathroom mirror. The bags under her eyes had become increasingly dark, yet another indication of Sera’s lack of sleep. A splash of cold water did nothing to fix them, although the shock jolted her awake. Too lazy to french braid her hair, she opted to throw it up into a simple high ponytail. After some consideration she braided the long train of hair. This braid required substantially less effort but would still keep loose locks from flinging into her face while she was sparring. With a quick adjustment of her many earrings she walked out into the hallway.

Since her father had locked down the compound further the hallways were emptier than usual. Fewer people were allowed in and even less were allowed out now that Ender and Serafina’s identities had been leaked to the resistance. Everyone was a suspect in Nikolai’s eyes and only those who had proven their unwavering loyalty were permitted on the premises.

She nodded and smiled at those she did pass, acknowledging their mumbled ‘princess’ before they scurried elsewhere. Most had taken to avoiding Sera and Ender at all costs. Even poor Ryland had been thrown into the mess, although he was kept blissfully in the dark about the reasons for the increased security and avoidant behavior. It was safer for everyone to keep their distance from the children of the Crown. Any extra attention could be questioned, easily viewed as a means to gather more information to be sold to the resistance. A risk no one was willing to take.

“Sera!”

With a smile Sera spun on her heel. Ryland. His mop of black hair bounced towards her, bangs nearly obscuring the blue eyes all three Titon siblings shared. Ryland, though, had the brightest, leaning more towards the color of the ocean on a sunny day rather than the storm ravaged blue-gray of Sera and Ender. As always his hair was unkempt, waves sticking out every which way.

“Ryland Banks, what are you doing?” she asked once he reached her.

“Looking for you! You promised you’d eat breakfast with me… remember?”

Of course she had. Ryland was everything to her. Even at thirteen years old he still wanted to spend time with his big sister. Despite their near ten year age gap they were the closest of the siblings. Sera would go to the ends of the earth to keep him safe.

Sera smiled at her baby brother, taking his shoulder into her hand. “I most definitely remembered, you just found me first.”

Ryland scowled at her, scrunching up his nose. “You must not have looked very hard, Serafina Rayne.”

She wrapped an arm around her brother. Ryland neared her height now, a fact she tried to avoid about too often. The two walked towards the kitchen and informal dining room, steps inadvertently matching. “Breaking out the full name this morning, huh?”

His laugh echoed through the empty hallway. “Hey you started it!”

Even with Ryland chattering happily up next to her, Sera's brain remained otherwise occupied. Ryland’s birthday happened a few weeks ago, meaning he only had one year left before entering the military academy. Ryland was too kind, too sweet… but his abilities were already a topic of discussion at the Head Table. The thought of Ryland being in the same situation as Sera was a terrifying one. She couldn’t stand the idea of him being broken into submission like she had, blindly following the will of their father under the guise of the greater good and loyalty. No. Ryland had to be spared from that fate. Spared from having blood on his hands.

Much like the rest of the mansion, the kitchen was empty save for a handful of staff. One gave Ryland and Sera a genuine smile without shying away from them, a welcome change from the fearful gazes she had received this morning. Sera attributed it to Ryland, of course. His powers may be reminiscent of the storm raging outside, but he was a beacon of sunlight within these walls.

“Any specific requests this morning, Prince? Princess?” she asked, dipping her chin to show respect. “Princess Serafina, we have a pot of coffee already made if you would like a cup of that.”

Her love of coffee was well known throughout the compound as well as the military base. But she hated the formalities of the compound. She tried her best to avoid the help of staff members, insisting she was more than capable of making her own coffee or filling her water bottle, but more recently any requests of independence were ignored. At least on the base she was treated similarly to all the other classified tactical units, able to help herself in the mess hall and move freely without being held to a higher standard. One of the few positives of her life within the military.

“Thank you, Midge. A cup sounds absolutely heavenly,” Sera smiled, stepping towards the door that led to the dining room. “As for breakfast, I’ll leave that up to Ryland… but can I have a little fruit please?” She always did her best not to be too demanding, but her craving for fruit could not be ignored this morning.

Midge’s head bobbed again. “Of course, princess… the usual way?”

Sera nodded while Ryland rattled off that eggs, toast, and bacon sounded heavenly, but leaving it up to Midge and the other staff members how to prepare everything. Ryland was impossible to deny, not that his request was anything extraordinary. Before the siblings left the kitchen Midge returned with not only coffee in Sera’s favorite mug but also a thermos. With another slurry of thank yous and the assurance that breakfast would be out soon Ryland and Sera entered the dining room.

“There’s my dear siblings,” Ender said the moment they were through the door. The lights reflected off his inky black hair, highlighting the deep streaks of blue and green. He had been growing it out, straying from his typical sharp military cut and leaning towards the long styling Changkyun favored recently. Stray strands hung into his blue eyes, only to brushed back behind his ears. His were much less adorned than Sera’s with a double lobe and a cartilage on his left, a single lobe on his right.

He sipped on his own steaming mug of coffee, a computer and files positioned to his left between him and Changkyun. Sera and Ryland clearly interrupted whatever discussion with their entrance.

Changkyun beamed at Sera and Ryland. “We were just talking about you, actually.”

“That’s a terrifying notion,” Sera teased as she sat across from her older brother and captain. The air in the room felt off, though, even with Changkyun trying to make light of what had surely been a tense discussion.

Judging by the look on Ender’s face it was far more serious than what Changkyun’s joking tone let on, but there was zero room for heavy conversations in the company of Ryland. Keeping their little brother safe was one of the few things Ender and Serafina agreed upon, even if they had different motives for doing so. Sera wanted Ryland out of harm’s way entirely, to live a life without succumbing to the twisted will of their father. Ender, on the other hand, solely focused on Ryland thriving in the military. It was the wish of their King, afterall, and Ender was not one to question their father’s desires.

“Are you joining us in the training room today, Ry?” Changkyun asked. He tidied up the papers strewn in front of him, tapping the files until the edges lined up.

Changkyun was just as much an older brother to Ryland as Ender was. The two had grown up together, less than a year separating them in age. They were inseparable, Ender and Changkyun, one never far from the other even when they were children. Changkyun had been a loyal friend to the Crown long before his heightened military status. Many questioned whether his link to the Titon family helped his rise within the ranks, but Changkyun’s abilities and ruthlessness quickly silenced the naysayers.

Ryland shook his head just as Midge entered with two plates, placing one in front of him and Sera. Eggs sunny side up, wheat toast, and three strips of bacon were situated on each, along with a pile of mixed berries on Sera’s.

“Not today… I need to catch up on school before mother loses her shit.”

Sera nearly choked on a chunk of strawberry. Ryland cussing? This was new to her. Ender and Changkyun cackled while Ryland sat with a smug look on his face. She glared at both of them, feigning a horrified gasp. “Are you two corrupting our brother?!”

Ender and Changkyun both rattled off excuses, claiming innocence with raised hands. It reminded Sera of easier times when the four of them would joke like this often. Memories she held close to her heart. But those days had long since passed, something Ender reminded her of often. For now she would enjoy this shadow of a memory and laugh genuinely for the first time in weeks.

They teased Ryland relentlessly while they ate, whatever pressing matters Changkyun and Ender had been discussing pushed to the back of their mind. As always Ryland took it with stride, but his responses became quick witted, flying off his tongue just as easily as the elder three’s. Sera’s baby brother really was growing up.

Once Ryland finished eating he excused himself, presumably to meet up with one of his tutors, leaving Serafina at the table. She eyed the two across from her, searching for a hint of their thoughts in their eyes, but Ender’s blues and Changkyun’s deep browns gave away nothing.

“Anything I need to be aware of?” she asked casually, downing the last lukewarm bits of her coffee. Her piercing gaze flicked between them before settling on the files stacked in front of Changkyun. They looked like personnel dossiers, the tabs labeled with ID numbers. “New recruits?”

Ender scoffed and crossed his arms while Changkyun smiled warmly at Serafina. He shut the laptop and took the files into his arms as he stood. “Never miss anything, do you? There’s some very promising soldiers… we were just going through some files and training videos of the best ones. I’ve been tossing around the idea of another member for our team, or potentially creating a sister unit to ours. Nothing set in stone yet, but I wanted to review the candidates before bringing anything up to you, Jay, and Jiwoo.”

“We’re trained to be observant, are we not?” Sera retorted, earning another eye roll from her brother. “Why a new member? Most, if not all, of the tactical teams are five-”

Changkyun cut her off by stepping around the table and placing a firm grip on her shoulder. She looked up to find him gazing down at her with surprisingly gentle eyes, a soft smile stretched across his face. “Sera, it’s all just talk, nothing official.” His thumb caressed her shoulder, the hold he had on her lessening. The corner of his mouth twitched before he walked away. “Come to the training room whenever. Jay and Jiwoo may already be there.”

Ender stood up swiftly to follow, mumbling a quick goodbye to Sera. Something was off with him, the knowing glint in his eyes and smirk evidence of that. You never knew what Ender had up his sleeve, but instead of letting herself dwell Sera chose to ignore him.

Housed in a separate building across the courtyard of the compound, the walk to the training room would be short, but required a pitstop with the rain still pouring outside. Most, if not all, military business took place within those walls.. Sera quickly ran to her room to grab a jacket so she wouldn’t be completely drenched during her walk.

Patrols continued even with the storm raging. Soldiers stood unwavering at their posts along the perimeter of the towering brick walls topped with rolls of barbed wire. At least those in the towers at the corners and on either side of the two main gates had a roof over their heads, shielding them from the worst of the rain.

The compound was bigger than most realized. The main mansion housed the royal family along with high ranking officials such as Changkyun and remarkable individuals like Jay and Jiwoo. Two additional quarters were designated for other staff, lower ranking officials, and personnel necessary for managing the day to day of the compound. The training building was one of the smaller structures, adjacent to the on-site armory and garage. Beyond that laid an expansive garden with a greenhouse. On brighter days Serafina often found herself nestled under the shade of one of the larger oak trees with a book in hand. Nature soothed Sera, the vines and flowers tattooed along her body a personal dedication of that love.

Punching bags, weights, and any machine Sera needed were arranged methodically through the large training room. Each piece of equipment was carefully chosen to keep those who utilized the room in pristine condition. All members were present, each doing some sort of exercise. Jay’s straight blond hair swayed as he ran on one of the treadmills, barely out of breath. Jiwoo stretched on one of the purple mats. Ender and Changkyun taped their hands, prepping for a spar with either each other or a punching bag.

Sera grabbed another mat, unfurling it with a flick of her wrists next to Jiwoo. Before sitting down to join her red-headed friend she took off her jacket and shoes, placing them in one of the cubbies along the wall.

“How long have you guys been here?” Sera asked after she sat. Her legs extended in front of her as she leaned down, groaning at the stretch in her hamstrings.

“Jay’s been here for a bit if I would guess, but I got here not long before you did.” Jiwoo mirrored the action, grabbing her toes to pull herself further.

At 21, Jay was the youngest member of their team, but the closest in age to Serafina at 23. He was always in the training room or studying, doing whatever he thought possible to avoid being viewed as the weakest. Nobody within the unit thought less of him, but Jay was determined to prove himself at any cost.

Conversation flowed easily between them until joined by a sweaty Jay. He stayed only briefly, wiping his forehead on Jiwoo’s cheek before sprinting away. Jiwoo leapt after him, jumping and dodging the equipment in her efforts to reach him. Jay of course had a small advantage, portaling to the opposite side of the room whenever he thought Ji was too close, head thrown back in laughter each time he reappeared. It was times like these when he showed his youth, his jokes always welcome amongst the group.

“Sera, finish up. Let’s go,” Ender addressed her directly, voice on the edge of playfulness, but Sera knew better.

During the game of tag, Sera had begun taping her wrist and feet with the intention to warm up before sparring with Jiwoo. They frequently sparred together, their heights and weights making them perfect and equal partners.

It wasn’t uncommon for Sera to spar with the others. Afterall, the team needed to be prepared for anyone and anything regardless of size. But she and Ender intentionally avoided each other lately. Tension between them had risen, especially recently. Sparring easily had the potential of moving beyond a training exercise, shifting to something far more personal. Usually, Sera had a much easier time keeping her emotions under control. Ender did not have that same capacity. At any given moment the switch could flip.

“Ender.” Changkyun was stern, eyeing the bigger man standing in the center of one of the large mats. He was most in tune with the precarious waters between the Titon siblings. Often he saw an Ender outburst before it could come to fruition and took adequate measures to avoid it. A combination of being an effective leader and knowing Ender better than anyone.

Sera wanted the challenge though. An opportunity to blow off steam. Direct all of her anger towards her brother, some misguided, but most entirely warranted.

“Do we not remember the last time we went toe-to-toe, End?” Sera teased. This earned her a sharp look from Changkyun, which she ignored with a smirk.

Ender’s laughter bellowed as Sera strutted to the ring. “Yeah, I faintly remember you on your ass.”

She looked up at her big brother. It would be easy to be intimidated by him. Three years older, seven inches taller at 6’1, and muscular, he outweighed Sera in every aspect. All except the one that mattered to Ender most. Their abilities.

“I vaguely remember it being the best of three… and someone was on the ground two more times than I was.”

With a scoff Ender finally uncrossed his arms to circle the ring. They moved in unison, each step opposite the other. Ender moved left. Sera moved right. The siblings settled into a dance of cat and mouse, eerily beautiful but filled with danger.

Sera knew Ender would bait her. He always did. One thing she had above her brother was her adaptive reflexes. Patterns and moves were easily memorized. Her body reacted before she thought, knowing the next move of her opponent before they did. Each fight prepared her for the next, her arsenal of physical attacks ever growing. Not that she often needed to go hand to hand.

But Ender knew Sera better than most. Random attacks would throw her off. Erraticness meant unpredictability. And that meant Sera would have a difficult time countering him. He would need to use his size to his advantage. Pinning her first was the only option.

“Little Serafina… the perfect princess,” he hissed, voice low enough so Changkyun and the others wouldn’t hear him.

He swiftly took two steps forward, jabbing his right forearm out to gauge what her next move would be. Sera made no motion to block, but evaded him with ease. She knew better.

As smart as Ender was, Sera was smarter. She knew his tricks.

“I wouldn’t say that.”

Together they continued to move, Sera patiently waited for Ender’s next attack. Occasionally they threw a quick jab or kick, both testing the waters. Neither wanted to be the first to make a big move.

After a swipe of Ender’s left leg and a connection of forearms, the two stayed close. Ender’s eyes filled with fire when he tumbled down for a moment, but Sera didn’t make a further motion to finish the act. Smugly she smiled at him while giving him space to scramble up to his feet. One nothing, Sera.

That small smirk angered Ender beyond belief. He crowded her space, throwing palms and forearms at her relentlessly.

“You know, I miss the time you were in the Gallows,” he seethed, barely out of breath despite the substantial effort he took to bring her down. Sera dodged another punch, evading to the edge of the ring. “The thought of you sitting in chains, all alone, slowly fading into madness… it’s exactly what you deserved.”

Sera responded with kick to his ribs, but Ender struck a nerve and knew she would strike quickly. He latched onto her ankle, twisting and pushing her so forcefully she spun to the ground. Now it was Ender’s turn to gloat, smirking as he paced the ring looking like a lion with prey. One to one.

“Perfect Serafina, the Crown’s Jewel.” No longer did he keep his voice down. He rocked forward, toying with her. “If only people knew…”

“ENOUGH!” Changkyun stepped between them just as Sera lunged. She connected roughly with Changkyun’s chest, falling into an open arm. He latched onto her, securing Sera against him. Blind rage surged through her, and he knew it. His eyes fixed on Ender. “Sera, you’re done. Ender, go cool down.”

Sera peered around Changkyun’s shoulder. Triumph flooded Ender’s face. Changkyun stepped in before Sera completely lost control, something she rarely let herself do. But Ender knew which buttons to push. And push them he did. In the eyes of her brother this was a victory, even if it wasn’t a physical one.

Strong hands clutched her shoulders, steering Sera out of the training room and down one of the hallways into a small office. Now that adrenaline had subsided, she was on the verge of hyperventilating as memories of the Gallows rolled through her head like a movie. Her hands balled into tight fists. Fingernails dug sharply enough to break skin. Tears clouded her vision. Chest heaved while she tried to catch her breath. She lowered herself to the floor, back pressed firmly against the wall in a desperate attempt to ground herself.

The attempt failed. Sera found herself back in a cell. Chains wrapped around her wrists and ankles. Collar around her neck. Alone in the dark, screams echoing around her, enduring who knows what kind of torture. Flashes of a young boy, gun pressed against his head. A loud bang. Her father’s laughter rang through the prison of her mind, taunting her. The endless loop played through her head like a movie, just as clear as it had been seventeen months ago.

“Sera, you need to breathe.” She faintly heard Changkyun’s voice cutting through the screams. Smooth and reassuring, he continued to remind her where she was. Nowhere near the Gallows and safe with him.

Eventually her breathing evened, head still wedged between knees. While the tension had lessened in her fists, they remained pressed against her ears. A futile attempt to lessen the screams. Halfmoon indents stayed visible in her palms. Somehow she had managed not to break skin, but the small cuts would have healed quickly if she had. A tentative hand reached out to her wrist. Subconsciously Sera flinched, recoiling at the touch.

“Serafina, come back to me.” Changkyun’s hand found her wrist again. This time she accepted the touch, allowing him to gently pull her arm away from her face. He wiped a tear, thumb brushing softly on her cheek. “There she is…” Immediately, Sera dropped her knees, falling into his open arms and burying her face in his chest so he could completely envelop her.

Changkyun had seen Sera break down like this more often than she would ever want to admit. These panic attacks and flashbacks happened regularly following her release from the Gallows. As her captain, it was his responsibility to make sure she was mentally well. Sera was thrown back into missions too quickly, leaving Changkyun to pick up the pieces when she fell apart following each one. He went as far to suggest she take a further break, a notion her father quashed immediately, stating prison was her break and she needed nothing more. Weakness was not to be tolerated.

Until now, though, Sera thought she finally had this under control. Honestly, she thought the Gallows only haunted her nightmares, not having had an episode like this in almost a year. Waking up in a cold sweat and screaming wasn’t pleasant, but at least it was manageable and hidden.

Ender had gotten under her skin, a feat typically not achieved so easily. But Sera had been more on edge, exhaustion and despair clouding every inch of her brain. Or maybe she was more broken than she realized and it finally caught up to her.

“How did you know?” Sera asked quietly, her voice muffled against Changkyun’s body. She wasn’t ready to leave his arms, not yet. Somehow Changkyun knew she fell off the cliff before she did.

“I heard what Ender said… and I could see it in your eyes, Sera. I’ve seen enough of these to know when it’s going to hit. It’s been a bit though, hasn’t it?” Hands drug down her sides, landing at the exposed part of her torso. Sera sighed, letting the feeling of his fingers on her skin bring her further back into reality. “Ender still loves you, Sera. He’s just…”

Ah. The other side of Changkyun came out. No longer was he her captain, he was now a friend. Sera scoffed to interrupt him, but still let her head linger on his chest. “Changkyun, we are long past making excuses for him. I don’t want to hear it. He’s my brother. I will always have love for him, but there is no mending this relationship.”

Their relationship was not always a tumultuous one. Far from it, in fact. Growing up Sera and Ender were the best of friends, willing to do anything for each other and never straying too far. Ender was Sera’s closest confidant, and she his. The matching tattoos on their forearms remained a constant reminder of what they have been. The three connecting triangles represented each of the Titon siblings. One shaded based on their birth order, Ender’s the topmost, Sera’s the middle, and once Ryland was of age his would be the bottom. At one point Ender attempted to burn it off, but being fireproof prevented the removal. Now it was just another reminder of his hatred.

But jealousy began to form when Sera’s powers manifested. Their father fawned over the abilities that were a direct reflection to his own. When they continued to grow and Nikolai learned of all of Sera’s potential he made no effort to hide his favoritism towards her. Still though, Ender remained kind to his sister. Instead all of his efforts went into pleasing their father, doing anything in his power to earn his love. To be his favorite. Something King Nikloi abused often, using Ender’s unwavering loyalty and need for assurance to his benefit. Ender would do anything at the snap of their father’s fingers, regardless of how horrifying. .

It wasn’t until Sera entered the military academy that Ender’s resentment truly set in. Until then, Ender had been on top. His fake name was the one everyone was throwing around, his powers almost unmatched and awe inspiring. He was a force to be reckoned with, and he relished in the flames held within his fingers.

She thrived in the academy, graduating with marks as high or higher than Ender. Praises were constantly aimed at her, and those were only for her physical abilities. At the direction of her father, her mind manipulation was kept a secret to the general population. Only those with the highest clearance were in the loop. Again, Sera became the favorite, her golden matter becoming something of legend amongst the troops. And no one sang louder than their father.

Sera didn’t know when exactly their dynamic shifted, but the rift between them had steadily grown for years until it became beyond repair. She still loved Ender. She always would. But Ender became a different person, one filled with malice and no regard for life. Not even hers. Jealousy along with the emotional manipulation from their father changed him. And most, if not all, of his anger projected onto Sera.

They could tolerate each other, even laugh and joke most days. But the tension lingered, taut like a rubber band. Today just happened to be one of the days it snapped.

Thankfully, Changkyun stopped trying to plead Ender’s case and returned his focus to clearing Sera’s head. Ender may be his best friend, but he also grew up with Sera and respected her wishes. They were nearly as close as he and Ender, both caring for the other deeply.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Changkyun asked. Fingers still hadn’t moved from Sera’s torso, now tracing lightly along her skin.

She didn’t want to, not in the slightest. She looked up at him for the first time since entering the room, tears staining her cheeks. Changkyun’s features were sharp, highlighted by his pronounced jawline and cheekbones. Dusty blue hair hung into brown eyes that gazed at her with nothing but concern.

“I let him get to me, Kyun. That’s all. He knew- he knew the Gallows would set me off.”

“Yeah, well normally you don’t let Ender set you off so easily… he’s the hothead, not you,” Changkyun chuckled slightly, but narrowed his eyes nonetheless. “I’m worried about you Serafina Rayne.”

Sera rolled her eyes, but also let out a faint laugh. She roughly rubbed her sleeves against her cheeks in an attempt to clear any residual tears. “You’re always worried about me, Im Changkyun.”

One of Changkyun’s hands moved to her face, cupping her cheek. Caught off guard, Sera blinked firmly, yet did not shy away. She and Changkyun were normally affectionate in the way close friends were with each other, but this was something new. The look in his eyes had changed, shifting to longing. This was uncharted territory, one she was unsure of entering.

“Quit giving me reasons to worry then.” Just as suddenly as the hand reached for her face it was removed. He offered it out to her as he stood instead, which she accepted. With ease he pulled her up. A few inches separated them in height and Changkyun continued to stare down at her with that same affectionate look. He held tightly onto her hand. “Go get some more rest. You look like you need it.”

She squeezed his hand before dropping it. “Is that an order, Captain?” she teased.

“An order.” He returned a smile, nose scrunching as he joked. “And Sera,” he added in a much softer, “I hope you know I would never let anything happen to you. Even when it comes to Ender.”

“I know. I’ll be out in a second. Just need another minute or so.”

Changkyun moved towards the door, pausing with the handle in his grasp. “Are you sure? I’m more than happy to walk you back to the main house.”

“I’m good, Kyun. Promise,” she reiterated with a shake of her head. She understood his concern. But Sera did not need a babysitter. What she needed was a moment alone to pull herself together.

Finally Changkyun left Sera in peace, but not before giving her a weak smile as he closed the door. She slumped against the wall, chin tilted upwards and eyes loosely shut. The only thing she hated more than breaking down like this was that Ender would have the satisfaction of knowing he caused it. For the next few days she definitely would avoid him more than usual simply so she wouldn’t see his arrogant face.

Now, she needed to screw her head back on straight. This never should have happened. Sera wasn’t the one to get riled up. How could she let the mere mention of the Gallows send her into the dark? Was it because Ender said it? Or was it something else entirely? The idea she might not be in control of her own thoughts terrified her.

Questions without answers continued to roll through her head, but Sera didn’t have the time nor energy to ponder them in this office space. She needed a hot bath and a break from today. Her muscles felt unnaturally tired and tense for how little she had done in the training room. Yet another effect of her breakdown.

She slid on her shoes and jacket, thankful that Changkyun had enough sense to grab them, saving her from an awkward interaction with Jiwoo and Jay. When Sera left the room she couldn’t help but peek down the hallway towards the training room. Changkyun had pulled Ender out in the hallway, conversation quickly becoming heated. It wasn’t often the two argued, at least not to this extent. Ender remained stone faced, but even with the distance between them Sera could see the flames burning in his narrowed eyes.

The emotions on Changkyun’s face, on the other hand, were easy to see. His hand pressed against Ender’s chest, keeping the taller man backed against the wall. While Sera was unable to make out exactly what he said, she heard the angry tone in his voice. What was even more difficult to tell was if Changkyun was addressing Ender as his captain, his friend, Sera’s friend, or some warped combination of it all. If either noticed her leaving, neither acknowledged it, allowing Sera to slip out of the building easily.

Rain was still coming down steadily but had subsided to more of a soft drizzle than the downpour of earlier. Taking care to step around the puddles scattered about the courtyard she walked slowly towards the main house. The space seemed emptier. Had the rain finally paused the endless walks? Or maybe most had finally settled into their posts. Sera chose not to acknowledge those she did pass, but luckily they were few and far between. Her luck ran dry when she was halfway to her room, running into the one person she avoided more than Ender.

Her mother.

“Serafina.”

“Delphine.”

“Is that the way to speak to your mother?”

Delphine, a literal ice queen in appearance, demeanor, and ability, was stunningly beautiful. The bright blonde hair was a stark difference compared to her three children, each having inherited their father’s black locks. Today it was pulled back tightly, making her features sharper and bringing all attention to her icy blue eyes, much lighter and colder than any of her children’s.

She placed a hand on Sera’s bicep. It took all of Sera’s willpower to not rip her arm away or shudder from the coldness of the touch. The queen always exerted a little bit of her powers with Sera, an additional means to show Sera her place.

Sera chose to ignore the question, instead crossing her arms as she met her mother’s gaze. Delphine further narrowed her eyes. “Dinner tonight will be a formal affair, my dear. I took the liberty of picking out a few viable options for you to wear.”

This surprised Sera. She wasn’t aware of any dinner plans this evening, let alone one that would require her to look the part of a princess for the evening. “And if I choose not to attend said dinner?”

It wouldn’t be the first time Sera skipped out on an event like this, nor would it be the last. Faking the role of princess was much more difficult in front of the Head Table and whatever other high officials were present. She never provided an excuse, simply chose not to show up. The wrath of her mother was always a possibility, but the protection of her father trumped most of Delphine’s ill wishes towards her daughter. Sera was simply too meaningful to him.

“Your attendance is not an option, Serafina. You will be present, seven o’clock sharp,” Delphine stated coldly. “You will look presentable. You will act your part as the only Princess of the Crown. You will not embarrass your father or I. Do you understand me?”

“Yes.”

“Good. This evening is a celebration after all.” The queen smiled, although a dangerous and knowing glint appeared in her eyes. The sickeningly sweet tone unnerved Sera more.

Delphine didn’t give her daughter time to respond. She turned on her heel, taking off down the hallway without a glance back, leaving behind a confused Sera. There had been no announcement made, no rumblings through the compound of anything. Secrets were common amongst the compound, no doubt, but whatever was happening tonight had somehow remained confidential.

With her head spinning even more she continued up to her room. Between her panic attack, Ender, Changkyun, and now her mother she had difficulty focusing on anything. The peace she only ever found in her room became all the more necessary.

Finally within her room, Sera beelined straight for the bathroom. She would address the wardrobe situation after her bath and potentially a nap. After the bathtub filled she submerged herself, letting the bubbles she added overtake her. The water felt heavenly on her achy body, but did nothing to help the jumbled mess in her brain.

The nap also did nothing to help her racing thoughts, but it did at least make Sera feel marginally less tired. Her stomach grumbled since she slept through lunch. Dinner was just on the horizon, which would mean food, but also meant interacting with her family. Usually she hid as best she could with Ryland, but everything with Ender this morning made her dread dinner more. Avoiding him would no longer be an option.

Formal dinner meant Changkyun would also be in attendance. After their moment in the office earlier Sera wondered how he would choose to behave with her, especially with Ender being in eyesight. Would Changkyun play the role of captain, calm, collected, and commanding? Would he be considerate towards Sera, echoing the magnified softness from the office? Or would he be indifferent, edging more on the side of Ender?

Shaking her head in yet another futile attempt to calm the questions, she pulled herself out of her cozy bed for the second time today. As much as she hated the fact her mother pulled dresses for her, she was grateful she wouldn’t have to spend time deciding what to wear. Had Sera not been as tired as she would intentionally pick a different gown simply to irritate her mother. But after the events of today she could not handle more turmoil. Instead, Sera showed a sliver of obedience, saving a fight for another day.

Delphine had laid out three options of formal gowns. Her closet was full of them, though, all tucked away in the furthest corner and worn only when Sera was forced to. She enjoyed dressing up, but hated what wearing the beautiful dresses meant.

Immediately drawn to the deep red dress, she chose that one over the simple black and light blue options. With the outfit chosen, Sera began the arduous task of doing her hair and makeup. Typically Sera took her time when she got ready, and with dinner on the horizon she needed all available time.

So that is exactly what she did. She opted for a high, slicked back ponytail, highlighting the lines of her face she inherited from her mother. The dark, smokey eye blended out with extreme care only accentuated her stormy blues, further emphasized with a sharp black wing.

Once content with her hair and makeup, Sera slid the satin dress onto her body. The structured corset bodice hugged her body, the stiff boning making her appear even more slender. The skirt wrapped around waist, gathered slightly at her hips. Long legs peeked out from the high slit, appearing even longer thanks to the simple, thin black heels. The vine winding across her collarbone and down her left arm inadvertently became the focal point. Majority of Sera’s tattoos became visible in this outfit: the fine line evil eye positioned at the back of her neck, the celestial themed finger tattoos on her right hand, and of course, the three triangles on the same forearm. After she managed to tighten the corset and tie a bow, she was finally ready. Following a quick adjustment of her many earrings she was out the door.

“Oof!” Sera ran head first into whomever stood right outside. Once she gathered her bearings she looked at the face of the man she ran into. “Oh, Changkyun.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t planning on running into you like this…” he rambled, one of his nervous habits. Sera knew them well. “Your mother- Queen Delphine, wanted Ender to make sure you would be on time to dinner. I offered instead, I hope you don’t mi-”

Sera shook her head. The last person she wanted to see outside her room would be Ender. Lightly she placed a hand on his chest, smiling softly. He quieted immediately, returning a relieved look. “I don’t mind, Kyun. Thank you.”

“I also hope you don’t mind me saying so, but you look beautiful tonight, Serafina.” He took a step back to give Sera room to come further into the hallway, but did nothing to hide the way his eyes swept up and down her down body. Warmth rushed into Sera’s cheeks for a reason she didn’t quite understand. Changkyun had called her beautiful many times before, but never with this look.

With the formality of dinner, Changkyun was also dressed up, but very simply. Black slacks, a crisp white shirt with the top two buttons undone, and a sleek black jacket that was also unbuttoned. It suited him, she thought. Even his hair was slightly more styled, parted evenly down the middle. But his bangs still brushed into his eyes. Sera found it endearing.

“Laying it on thick this evening, aren’t we?” she teased.

“Only being honest, princess. Now, to dinner before your mother has both of our heads.” Despite the joking tone, both knew his words to be true.

Together they went down the hallway. Changkyun situated his hands firmly in the pockets of his slacks and Sera’s sleek ponytail swished behind her as they walked. A comfortable silence hung between them, only broken by the taps of Sera’s heels on the wooden floors.

Voices grew louder the closer they came to the formal dining hall. Sera didn’t have the faintest idea who all would be in attendance this evening, but judging by the volume there were more people than she originally anticipated. Her level of dread heightened and she felt her body tense up slightly. But she couldn’t allow herself to appear on edge, not with so many eyes on her. She needed to get a handle on herself, and quickly.

Changkyun stopped before opening the double doors, placing a reassuring hand on Sera’s bicep. Somehow he sensed her moods. He said nothing, only giving a quick squeeze and a brush along her tattoos before he removed it. His palm found a new home against the small of her back, gently urging her through the open door.

“Serafina!” Her father’s boisterous voice boomed through the room as he rose from his seat. Eyes fixed on Sera and Changkyun at the announcement of their arrival, but the chatter of conversation did not end.

Her assumption had been correct. This dinner was in fact a larger scale affair with at least forty people lining the exceptionally long table. She surveyed the faces while she made her way to her chair, looking for at least Jay and Jiwoo. They were frequently in attendance, but she didn’t find either of them amongst the variety of officials seated. Odd.

Sera put on a smile, transitioning smoothly into her expected role of treasured princess. Changkyun kept his hand pressed against her back until he deposited her at the chair waiting at Delphine’s right. Formal dinner also meant formal seating arrangements. Sera always sat between her mother and Ryland, Ender opposite them at her father’s left with Changkyun beside him. King Nikolai was always at the head of the table, able to easily look down at those beneath him.

Once she and Changkyun were seated, Serafina spared a glance at her father. He smiled warmly at her, blue eyes crinkling at the corner. His own black hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, beard well manicured with clean lines around his face. The crown was missing off his head, a common omission on his part.

“Thank you for being on time.” Delphine leaned into her slightly to address her. “And you look the part this evening… well done.”

More kind words from her mother? Odd. All the more reason Sera suspected that something was up this evening. While Sera was undoubtedly her father’s favorite, Ender held that space in their mother’s heart. The firstborn always carried higher weight in the world of the Crown, and the firstborn being a son made Ender even more important to the queen. Delphine always whispered in his ear, manipulating him just as much if not more than their father, and Ender obeyed her without question. The same could not be said for Sera, who intentionally defied her mother even more than her father. Where Sera found nothing but coldness from the ice queen, Ender found warmth.

“Anything for you, my Queen.” Sera couldn’t help but use the same overly sweet tone as her mother from earlier, pairing it with a dazzling grin. She knew it would irritate Delphine, not that she cared. Sera would continue to play the part as doting princess, but on her terms. These terms included small acts against her mother.

The Queen’s attention turned back to her husband, choosing to engage him in conversation instead of acknowledging her daughter’s sarcasm. Sera caught Changkyun’s eyes across the table, offering a small smile while he picked at the salad in front of him. She continued to avoid any sort of look in Ender’s direction, even though felt him leering at her.

“Do you know what’s going on tonight?” Ryland whispered.

His quiet voice forced Sera to turn her head further away from the burning eyes of Ender. She dipped her chin lower, not wanting to risk their mother overhearing. “Unfortunately I think I know just as much as you do.”

Ryland’s eyes flicked quickly in Ender’s direction before settling back on his plate. “Ender knows. He’s been weird since he came back from the training room.”

Sera’s brows furrowed. Things still weren’t adding up. Perhaps there was more to Changkyun and Ender this morning, wondering if both were somehow in the know of the evening's events. There was a reason why Sera was being intentionally kept in the dark and it didn’t sit well with her.

Further conversation with her brother paused when staff brought out entrees. One of Sera’s favorite meals was on the menu for the evening: salmon topped with a thin slice of lemon, along with wild rice, roasted potatoes, and grilled asparagus. Finally, a positive on the otherwise dismal dinner affair.

Conversation rumbled about the room. Sera partook sparingly, only responding when absolutely necessary and choosing to speak primarily with Ryland next to her. Nikolai was in an especially good mood this evening, chuckling while he drank. Even Delphine was marginally less cold, smiling at those around her, even sparing a laugh occasionally.

It wasn’t until dessert was finished and plates were cleared that the chatter subsided into murmurs. The same question seemed to be running through the table. What was the purpose of this event?

As if acting on a cue, Nikolai stood and cleared his throat, drink in hand. Silence filled the room, all attention turning to their king.

“On behalf of the Crown, thank you, each and every one of you, for joining us this evening.” Nikolai’s voice was smooth, cutting through the silence. “Tonight is not just an evening for those most loyal to the Crown to get together, it is cause of further celebration.” His eyes moved throughout the table before landing on Sera. “Tonight, the Crown is proud to announce the engagement of my daughter, Serafina Rayne Titon, to our very own Im Changkyun.”

Sera’s ears rang, completely drowning out the ongoing applause. Somehow, she stayed upright in her chair despite her vision going black. Her heart threatened to beat out of her chest and she struggled to breathe evenly. Every fiber in her body screamed at her to leave the room. But she couldn’t. Not with every set of eyes boring into her.

Once her vision cleared she looked across at Changkyun. Sera knew she looked terrified, all color washed out her face. He met her eyes without an ounce of surprise. The realization hit Sera suddenly and harshly.

He knew.

And he said nothing.

She couldn’t stay still any longer. Thankfully with her father’s finished announcement discussions resumed. Dinner was officially over and more drinks poured into glasses in celebration. Others had stood from their seats to disperse about the room to have further huddled conversations. Her departure from the table was not nearly as dramatic as it could have been. She shoved back from the table, ignoring the glare from her mother. So singularly focused on leaving the table, Sera didn’t hear her mother’s demand to stay, her father calling her name, or the many congratulations echoing through the hall.

Her palm drug along the wall as she walked away, using the surface to keep her steady. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes, threatening to spill over with each step. She needed more distance between her and the room. Her feet began moving on their own, taking her through the hallways and out the door into the courtyard to bring her to the space she felt safest in: the greenhouse.

Sera collapsed on one of the benches hidden within the glass building. She knew this day would come eventually. Talk of an engagement had been happening for years. It was her duty as princess to wed and strengthen the line, to further solidify the Titon claim on the throne. Suitors had been tossed out left and right, none of them worthy of King Nikolai’s most precious jewel. It had never crossed her mind that Changkyun would somehow be the one to win her hand.

How long had he known? Was it his idea? Was this always the plan? Was this why his demeanor towards her shifted?

“Sera?”

“Changkyun, you are the last person I want to speak to.” Of course he would know where to find her. She sat up straight, wiping away the few tears that had slipped out. Footsteps slowly grew louder, and Sera found herself gripping the edge of the bench, bracing herself for when Changkyun would round the corner.

When he did stumble upon her, his hands were already raised in defeat. Tentatively, he took a few more steps towards her, gaze never wavering. “Let me explain… please?”

Genuine concern was etched onto his face and in his body language. He ran a hand through his hair, chewing on the inside of his cheek while he waited for Sera’s response. When Sera provided none, he continued.

“I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry. But-”

“How long have you known?” Sera’s tone was harsh, devoid of all emotion.

“Your father approached me a couple of months ago, asking what my thoughts would be on a potential engagement. It wasn’t until after our last mission that he formally offered your hand.” He took a couple more steps towards her, closing the gap entirely to kneel before her.

So she was offered up like some sort of property. “And clearly you accepted, yet said nothing to me. Did Ender know?” What Ryland said at dinner stuck out to her. She needed to know.

Changkyun broke eye contact for the first time when his head slumped forward. “It isn’t so black and white, Sera. Yes, I accepted. I wanted to tell you. Hell, I wanted to tell you the minute it was first brought to me, but I couldn’t. Those were not the terms I was provided. Ender found out today following the blow up in the training room.” His eyes brimmed with remorse when their gazes remet. He reached for her hand, sighing when she roughly pulled it away. “Can we just think about this logically for a minute?”

“Logically? You think there is some sort of fucking logic behind this?”

“Yes, I do. Getting married means no more military duty. No more missions, none of the things you hate doing most.” Now he gripped the bench as tightly as she was, hands just outside of hers, arms caged around her legs. “Your safety has and always will be one of my top priorities. Is being married to me really the worst option? You know me.”

Sera took her time to process exactly what he was saying. Maybe there was a bit of logic behind it. But being forced into a marriage wasn’t the way out she wanted. She would never be truly free of her father’s control. At any given moment she could be brought back in to exert her mental powers, even if she was no longer out on the front lines. She knew that, and deep down she knew Changkyun did as well.

“You and I both know that is not entirely true. There will always be something asked of me thanks to my godforsaken ability.”

“Sera, you have my word that you will not be asked to kill again. No more blood will be spilt directly by your hands. That in itself should be something to consider. I can’t guarantee anything else, because you’re right. Your mental abilities are too valuable not to be used… but the circumstances that you would be asked to use them will be entirely different. My wife will not be put in harm’s way.”

His words caught her off guard. Wife. My wife. They left his lips with practiced ease, but the way he said them leaned on possessiveness. Sera was not one to be owned. Changkyun of all people should know that.

“And what if I refuse this arrangement that has been made without my consent?” Her response cut him deeply. His face fell slightly, but he composed himself quickly.

“I’ll ask again… am I the really worst option? I’ve always cared about you. I know you better than anyone, and you me. I would never abuse your powers. That promise can’t be made if you married someone else. And you know that, Sera. I’m not asking you to love me right now. But is that so far out of the question?”

“What are you saying, Changkyun?” Sera’s voice became quiet as she searched his eyes. The air in the greenhouse had changed. It felt heavy around her, stifling even.

“I’m saying that just because I’m in love with you doesn’t mean you have to love me yet… You need time, and I know that. I respect whatever time you need to process all of this. I will always be here. I’m not going away… but neither is this engagement.”

Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out a small box. He opened it, taking the gold ring between his fingers. The admission of love had Sera too stunned to move, allowing Changkyun to slide the diamond onto her left hand. He smiled at the sight of it, his thumb running along the vine twisting around her middle finger. “Beautiful. I knew it would suit you.”

The hand trailed up her arm to Sera’s cheek, cupping it lightly while he stood. Leaning down he pressed his lips onto her forehead, letting them linger for a moment with his eyes closed. Following an exhale out his nose he pulled away, fingertips brushing across Sera’s cheekbones and along her jaw. Without another word, he walked away, leaving her alone in the greenhouse.

Only the sound of pitter pattering rain against the glass building remained, looking much like the tears that freely flowed down Sera’s face.

***

Sera was unsure how long she remained in the greenhouse, but somehow she managed to get her tired body in bed. When she entered a restless sleep was yet another question. When Sera woke she felt more exhausted than the day before. Yet somehow her thoughts were not nearly as jumbled. Today, she had a glimmer of clarity now that some questions had answers.

The stack of personnel files Changkyun and Ender poured over made sense. They weren’t determining an additional team member or forming a new unit. No, they were looking for a replacement. Sera’s replacement. Per Changkyun, Ender had not known about the engagement then, but he was no idiot. He would have had an inkling of the truth behind the search even at that point.

The change in Changkyun’s demeanor. The heated argument between him and her brother. The unnatural warmth from her mother. The secrecy surrounding dinner. Those questions had all been provided answers. But one remained unanswered in Sera’s head, ringing through it like a siren.

What the fuck was she going to do about it.

She stared at the ring circling her finger. Somehow she had forgotten to remove it when she dragged herself to bed, quickly blaming exhaustion and emotional distress. Objectively speaking, the ring was beautiful. The double gold band twisted around her finger, reminiscent of the vines etched into her skin. A singular oval diamond rested in the center, glittering spectacularly in the sunlight pouring through the window.

And Sera hated it. She removed it in a rush, hiding within the side table’s drawer. Out of sight, out of mind. She did not need the reminder of her new impending title.

My wife.

The words repeated in her head on an endless loop. The manner of which they had been said made Sera’s stomach turn. She had not known Changkyun to be possessive, yet she couldn’t deny the hungry look in his eyes when he spoke to her. Maybe the signs had always been there, an indication of his apparent love for her. Maybe Sera had simply chosen to be blind to them all these years.

Without warning, Delphine burst into her room, striding with purpose to the foot of the bed. She looked pissed. Sera scrambled to a more upright position in her bed, meeting her mother’s steely gaze without hesitation.

“Quit the damn moping, Serafina,” her mother said harshly. “Get out of bed. It is near lunchtime. There are much worse things for you than an engagement.”

“An engagement I want nothing to do with,” Sera seethed, returning the cold tone. “You and this damn Crown do not own me.”

The queen threw her head back with laughter. “Yet that is exactly what we do, my dear daughter. We own you. Your father and I decide to show you a shred of kindness by choosing Changkyun, and this is how you respond? It could be much worse for you, Serafina. This is your duty to the Crown, and you will concede to it.”

“Do I concede to anything, ever? You think I will so willingly marry, even if it is to Changkyun? When have I ever cared about my duty to this fucking Crown? I thought you knew me better than this.” Sere didn’t regret uttering these words, despite how dangerous they were.

Tensions rose as the temperature in the room dropped. Sera’s breath left her lips in small clouds from the coldness. She struggled to keep her breathing steady, to somehow keep her composure and her armor somewhat intact in front of her mother

“Your only purpose in life is to marry and continue this line. You are more of a fool than I thought if you believed otherwise. I blame your father for this delusion that you are more important than what you truly are. You are but a body to bear children, and nothing more. Imagine the abilities your children could have with a father like Changkyun? How much stronger will our claim on the throne become then?”

Gold flooded Sera’s eyes in her struggle to keep control of herself. Fingertips turned gold, matter threatening to spill over with each second. Delphine knew instantly, but instead of distancing herself she moved closer with a dangerous smirk on her face.

“You will get married. You will bear children. There is no other option for you. You should be grateful that it is to Changkyun, someone who cares for you deeply. Not some random, heinous man chosen only for his dedication to your father. We could have sold you to the highest bidder, but your father vetoed that option.” Delphine stood directly in front of Sera now. She grasped Sera’s chin, digging her fingers into the skin abrasively and forcing their eyes to meet in a heated staredown. Her chilled touch sent goosebumps across Sera’s body. Sera winced at the cold and the layer of frost forming on her chin. “Your fucking abilities do not scare me, daughter. You may be powerful, but I wield all you hold dear in my hands. Disobey, and Ryland will be forced to accept the consequences of your actions. Is that what you want?”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Sera spat. “He’s-”

The queen’s eyes narrowed menacingly. “He’s what? Innocent? There are no innocent people. You of all people should know that. Your younger brother is a means to an end, just as you are. An additional way to keep you in line. Keep you under my control. Are you willing to take the risk of disobedience when it comes to your precious Ryland?”

The lack of emotion towards her children disgusted Sera. She expected the lack of love towards her, that fact being one of the worst kept secrets in the compound. But Ryland? Never had her mother shown this type of behavior towards him. He was supposed to be safe. She never thought the love for her brother could be used against her so easily.

“Father would never allow anything to happen to him.” Sera said in desperation, searching for a way to keep Ryland out of this and landing on the only viable option.

“In a way you are correct. But there is much that your father does not know about, Serafina. Do not test me. Do we have an understanding?”

Sera gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. Gold dissipated from her eyes as she accepted the cold, harsh truth. She lost.

“Yes.”

Delphine relinquished the hold on Sera’s chin and forcefully pushed her daughter away. “Good girl.”

Triumphantly, Delphine strode towards the door. She spared a glance back at her daughter, although Sera continued to stare down at the blanket, avoiding the eyes of her mother. “Now, put that ring back on your finger and get yourself out of this damn room. Do not let me see you without it.”

When the door clicked shut, Sera finally lost control. How she had any tears left was beyond her, yet here they were pouring down her face again. Her chest heaved with sobs, hands clutching her hair so tightly it bordered on ripping strands out. There was nothing she could do to stop the tears from flowing. Nothing she could do to regain control of her life, especially not when Ryland was caught in the crosshairs.

Was this how her obedience would be bought? With the weight of her brother’s life hanging over her head?

No, she thought. There had to be an alternative, at least one where there would not be the question of her brother’s safety. Even if the alternative still resulted in an unwanted marriage, at least she would be able to rest easier knowing that Ryland would remain unharmed.

Pulling herself out of bed, she headed straight to her closet. Sera knew what her next step had to be, as much as she resented the thought of asking anything from her father. Nikolai loved nothing more than to have his people grovel at his feet and his children were no exception. Sera rarely gave him the luxury of hearing her beg, but today she needed to swallow her pride. Only for Ryland’s sake.

She doubled back to the side table after she dressed and ran a brush through her hair, nearly forgetting her mothers warning about wearing the damn engagement ring. It pained her to slide the ring back on, but she couldn’t risk being caught without it.

Sera snuck quietly through the halls. The last people she wanted to find on the way to her father’s study would be her mother, Ender, or Changkyun. While Changkyun said he would respect her need for time and space, she questioned whether that promise would be kept and wanted to avoid any form of interaction with him at all costs.

Her senses were in overdrive, ears straining to hear the faintest mention of their names or the muffled sounds of their voices through doors and the expansive hallways. The walk to his study was a long one due to it being in the opposite wing of the house. Having chosen to take an indirect route, the walk became even longer but also lessened the potential of running into someone. An easy trade off in Sera’s mind.

Just as she was about to round the final corner, she heard a pair of voices, halting her immediately. She quickly identified one as Changkyun’s, the other an official’s whose name she couldn’t remember. Sera pressed her body against the wall, laying herself flush against it. She should’ve walked the other way and taken an alternative route, but curiosity got the best of her.

“Congratulations are in order, I hear,” the official stated. She heard a hint of teasing in his voice. If Changkyun heard it, he chose to ignore it. “The princess is quite beautiful.”

Changkyun chuckled. “She really is. I truly have no complaints over this arrangement. It's an honor to call her mine.”

The way he said mine did not go unnoticed by Sera. A possessive air hung over him as he spoke.

“And the rise in status is just an added perk then? If you care about her as much as you say you do?”

A hard thud startled Sera. She risked a peek around the corner. Changkyun pinned the official against the wall, forearm pressed firmly against his throat. “Don’t you dare question my care for Sera.” He released the man, who immediately began gasping for breath. The tone shifted more when Changkyun took a step backwards, his voice becoming quieter as he weighed out the question. “However, I’d be lying if I didn’t say the status that comes along with this marriage was not desirable. A perk, as you so casually said. But my priority in this union is and always will be Serafina.”

“Forgive me, Captain. I didn't mean to offend you.” The man massaged his throat, clearing it after he spoke.

Sera heard the smirk in Changkyun’s voice. “Captain for just a bit longer.”

Her breath stopped when footsteps began, but thankfully they moved in the opposite direction, growing fainter with each step. After overhearing this conversation, the idea of marrying Changkyun upset her even more. Was this Changkyun’s true intention? Sera knew that Changkyun truly did care for her, but was she just a means to an end in his eyes now too? Just another tool for someone else’s gain. Was that all she would ever be?

She sighed when she no longer heard anything, pushing the thoughts deeper into her mind. Before she peeled herself off the wall she looked in both directions, laughing at how childish she appeared and the measures she took to remain undetected. It was silly and she knew it, but she didn’t care.

In a newfound rush she took off the hallway, not wanting to accidentally stumble upon anyone else in her haste. In a moment she found herself outside the large oak doors of her father’s study. She heard voices from the other side, but none sounded like Ender nor Changkyun. The little voice in her head attempted to talk her out of approaching her father. But she quickly silenced it with two hard slams of the ornate door knocker, ironically shaped like a crown pierced by a sword. The voices immediately quieted, replaced by incoherent murmurs.

“Enter,” her father’s voice this time, clear and deep.

Sera sighed, mentally preparing herself for the study to be full. She was pleasantly surprised when the door creaked open, revealing only her father and two of the highest members of the Head Table.

Nikolai’s gaze immediately softened at the sight of his daughter. “Serafina.” His voice was warm when he addressed her, but turned cold when speaking to the other two men. “You two, out. We’ll resume this discussion tomorrow.”

Mumbled yeses and your highnesses came from the two men. Their heads dipped in respect to both Serafina and Nikolai before leaving the two Titons alone. Sera glanced at the immaculate desk in front of her. Blueprints and files were methodically arranged. What they were depicting was unknown to Sera, but she could barely make out her military ID number on one of the files and some of the paperwork.

Her brows furrowed momentarily, but she forced her face to relax. She couldn’t seem on edge, not with her father. She let her hands brush across the spines of the books nestled neatly on the expansive shelves. When she was younger she would curl up in the large velvet armchair in the corner while her father worked, immersing herself in one of the stories. Back when she was too naive to understand the horrors that were planned within these walls.

“I hope I wasn’t interrupting something important,” she said. Her fingers lingered on two of her favorites, Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. The spines were well worn, evidence of how loved the two stories were. She smiled fondly at them, surprised that her father kept them in the study.

Nikolai shook his head, dismissing the notion. “Nothing is more important than you.” His gaze shifted to the two books held within her hands, a smile of his own creeping onto his face. “You should take them, my jewel. They deserve to be in the possession of someone who loves them dearly, not collecting dust on my shelves.”

Jewel. Her father’s loving nickname. Another way he showed ownership of her. Another reason Ender hated her. Sera despised it, but smiled at her father nonetheless.

“I think I might.”

“Now, what brings you to my study? I do have to say, though, your timing is impeccable. Your coming has spared me the trouble of sending for you later.”

Sera’s expression turned quizzical. “Oh?”

He leaned against the desk, crossing his arms in front of him. Despite his notoriety and penchant for violence, the man standing in front of Sera appeared kind and genuinely concerned over his daughter. It was hard to imagine him as a ruthless ruler, willing to kill anyone who questioned him. Or as a father who would throw his only daughter into a prison cell, laughing when he wrapped her in chains.

“Let’s begin with you, shall we. Come here.” He extended his arm, beckoning her closer. Once within reach he grabbed her hand. Her left hand to be exact. He loosely held her fingers, investigating the diamond coiled around her ring finger. “It’s beautiful. Changkyun chose well. I’m assuming your engagement is what you would like to discuss?”

She pulled back her hand, subconsciously spinning the ring between her fingers. The weight felt foreign as she toyed with it, eyes cast down at the ground. “It is exactly that, father.”

Nikolai’s expression remained neutral, but the glint in his eyes leaned on the side of sterness. His will was not to be questioned, that much Serafina knew. She needed to word her questions carefully, be cognizant of how she addressed her concerns regarding Ryland. Nikolai needed to feel like he was in control. Little did he know he taught his daughter the act of manipulation well.

“I will apologize for the sudden announcement. But the decision of your engagement was not one that was made suddenly, nor one that was taken lightly.”

“And why Changkyun?”

“Because he cares for you, Sera. I trust him. He has been nothing but loyal to you, to me, and to this Crown. You will be safe in his hands, and that is all I have ever wanted for you. It was your mother and I who initially approached Changkyun about a potential union. But following the leak of you and Ender’s identities I formally offered him your hand. I was glad he accepted so easily. His fondness for you has never been a secret, my jewel. I do have to say, you are handling this much better than I anticipated. I half expected you to come in here screaming at me.”

She wanted nothing more than to yell at her father. But the words of her mother lingered in her head. She had to be calm. She had to make sure Ryland would be promised safety. At least her father answered one question. Changkyun did not initiate these conversations. It did little to appease Sera’s mind. One thing Nikolai did not do was lie to Serafina. Manipulate her, yes. But never lie.

“I can’t lie to you, I am upset. Not having a say in the events of your own life is a difficult thing to grasp. I… I expressed some of these concerns to my mother.” Nikolai’s mouth opened to speak, but Sera continued on, using a solemn voice to appear sorry. “It was foolish, I know. But I let my emotions get the better of me.” Now came the groveling. Sera hated herself more for playing this game, but she had to guarantee Ryland’s safety.

“And what did Delphine have to say?”

Teeth dug into her lip while Sera debated her choice of words. Finally she settled on honesty, choosing not to mince her words in the slightest. “Threats were made to Ryland if I did not concede to the will of the Crown, if I did not happily enter this marriage with Changkyun.”

Nikolai’s eyes darkened, turning black at Sera’s admission. “If the concern is regarding your younger brother, let this be heard loud and clear. No harm will ever come to Ryland, despite the threats made against him. But, you are expected to concede. You will marry Changkyun. Or there will be other consequences.”

A lump formed in Sera’s throat. Despite her best attempts, nothing seemed to clear it. Her father’s words were bittersweet, laced with a threat of course, but also the reassurance she desired. Ryland would be safe. Now she needed further confirmation, this time regarding Changkyun’s promise.

“After I left dinner, Changkyun found me. He said- he said that I would no longer be on the tactical unit with this engagement and impending marriage. Since you are the only one that can make that decision…”

“What he said was the truth. He was adamant that you would be kept off the frontlines. Your abilities will be sorely missed, but I respect his wishes as your future husband. I have other plans for you, ones that do not require you to spill blood. At least not directly.”

A manic glint entered his eyes. He rose from his perch against the desk, sweeping his hands over it with a flourish. “This, my jewel, this is all for you. Because of you.”

Sera took the invitation to read the papers strewn about the desktop. The Siren Project, followed by her name, labeled each document. The blueprints were a rendering of a machine, but not one that was even vaguely familiar to her. Her brain became fuzzy when she read the description of its purpose, horror filling her.

“What… what is this?” Sera’s voice trembled and her hands shook, rustling the papers she held. She was barely able to meet her father’s eyes.

“This is your purpose. Your siren song. As soon as your mental abilities manifested I’ve been dreaming of a way to use it in a broader sense. You are powerful, no doubt, but this aspect of your power is woefully limited by the need for proximity… at least for the initial seed to be planted.” Nikolai beamed at his daughter, with a diabolical smile spread across his face. His hungry eyes darkened and dripped with power. “This machine would change all of that. No one would ever question me again. The Crown would reign supreme, my will uncontested. The Resistance would be eradicated… all because you whispered pretty words to them, telling them their King was above all. With your powers enhanced by this machine, I will have absolute rule over Meridian. Unfortunately, we are still developing the technology we need and building the machines needed, but your song will be sung for all to hear.”

Her legs failed, giving out beneath her. Her knees landed harshly against the floor, landing with enough force to bruise. This was the alternative to the frontlines. Mass brainwashing.

“I will never agree to this.”

Nikolai kneeled beside her, forcing her chin upwards to look at him. “You act as if you have a choice in the matter. Do you not remember the last time you defied my will? Another stint in the Gallows will be mild in comparison if you choose to resist. I would never harm your brother. He is my child, afterall. But Jay and Jiwoo… your friends? I will not hesitate to place a bullet between their eyes and make you watch, just as I did the first time you recklessly disobeyed me. Or maybe this time I would force you to pull the trigger.”

Strong arms forced her to stand. Nikolai’s black as night eyes stared into her so resolutely they burned a hole into Sera’s soul. “This weakness from you will not be tolerated. When my machine is built and the time comes for it to be used, you will obey me. You will be my tool, my weapon. My love for you as a father does not mean you are above my will as the King. Do you understand me, Serafina?”

Silence.

“I said, do you understand me?” Black matter hovered around her father, dripping off the fingers that dug into Sera’s shoulders. The intention of it was to scare Sera, nothing more. Her father didn’t earn the moniker of Black Death for nothing.

She allowed her eyes to turn gold before meeting her father’s gaze. The difference in their coloring was drastic, even though their respective matter hung similarly around them. Nikolai’s black as obsidian, Sera’s as golden as the sun’s rays.

“Yes.”

The clumps of black dissipated into smoke, fading quickly as the blue reentered Nikolai’s eyes. “You’d do best to remember your place. Now, take your books and leave.”

The books were hastily collected off the floor. Sera hadn’t realized she dropped them with her head being a dizzy and hazy mess. She stumbled to the door, fumbling with the knob in her hands. Her father’s final words broke her.

“I love you, my precious jewel.”

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