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changbunnies · 7 months ago

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Reverie (18+)

♡ Pairing: Prince!Hyujin x Lord's Daughter!Reader

♡ Genre: royal au, historical au, love at first sight, fairy tale elements, angst, fluff, eventual smut

♡ Word Count: 18.9k

♡ Summary: Staring out from your window everyday where you live confined, Hyunjin sees you- melancholic, lonely, beautiful; love at first sight. He wants to know you, to take you away from where you remain, doomed to be solitary. Spending your every moment daydreaming about the perfect life, meeting Hyunjin sparks a hope that you'd long since given up on- that your reverie can become your reality.

♡ Warnings: reader has an evil step-mother and step-sisters, involuntary confinement, themes of loneliness, isolation, and emotional + verbal abuse, reader is very touch starved and has low self-esteem from her mistreatment, past + referenced parental death (none are described) as well as having a parent who is sick, outdated marriage traditions, chan is featured and goes by chris, incredibly unrealistic because of the fairy tale romance inspo lol but it's a fun read, i hope!

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): virgin reader + virgin hyunjin, petnames (darling), loss of virginity, nipple play, oral (f + m rec), unprotected piv, creampie

♡ Notes: hey yall sorry its been a over month since my last post :') i was going thru a lot in my personal life that made it hard to write, as well as i HATED my first draft of this fic so i decided to entirely rewrite it gfsdhsdg but it's finally here after a lot of grief !! I honestly still don't like it all that much but I didn't want it to sit in my drafts any longer or rewrite for a third time so :') anyways i took a inspo for this one from rapunzel and cinderella, as well as a bit from sweeney todd (if you’ve seen the movie pls tell me you see the vision of hyunjin as jamie campbell bower’s character…) + a smidge of romeo and juliet.

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Sighing as he watches the scenery slowly pass him by through the carriage window, a deep frown adorns Hyunjin's face. He's no stranger to traveling, and normally he quite enjoys the break from the typical royal monotony, but this time around he can't bring himself to enjoy the sights that pass him by. The abundant flower fields, the surrounding lush forest on the edges, the perfectly blue sky.. none of them prevent the melancholy from setting in; because waiting for him at today's destination, in a manor just a fair few miles outside the castle city's walls, is yet another girl hoping to be his bride.

He's tired, to put it plainly; tired of meeting girl after girl who cares not for who he is as a person, but what his lineage offers them- and he expects today to go no differently. Why would he after the countless disappointments he's faced, after the myriad of times he's expected a night to end badly, and been proved right? And perhaps it is unfair of him to judge how the afternoon will go well before he's even met her, but his expectations have long since been set.

Hyunjin's royal attendant, who accompanies him to all his meetings and currently sits beside him within the carriage, does his best not to show how the prince's constant sighing grates on his nerves. Royal attendants should always be calm and patient in the face of frustration, and that is what Christopher strives to be; so he speaks to the prince as kindly as his dwindling patience will allow him. "Must you look so miserable? I imagine the girls won't take kindly to the prince looking at them with such disdain."

"Girls? Plural?" Hyunjin asks, groaning audibly when his attendant nods. Great. As if a blind setup with just one girl wasn't enough.. Still, he doesn't need to be reminded to mind his manners. He'll hold himself to the utmost royal standard when the time comes, as he always does- and he tells Chris as such. "I certainly hope so," Christopher responds with practiced ease, "There aren't many demoiselles left to meet, and your father will be disappointed if we return with more outright denials."

"I'm aware," Hyunjin replies simply, frustration still clear in his voice, though he tries his best to temper it. He knows his attendant is not wrong, and is simply trying to look out for him while also keeping Hyunjin's royal duty in mind. It's imperative that Hyunjin marry before his father's illness progresses to the point that he must concede the throne, and it's Christopher's job to ensure that Hyunjin doesn't forget that.

But still.. despite the circumstances begging for urgency, this is not a matter that Hyunjin is willing to bend on. He values true love, romance, genuine connection above all else; and so when he marries, he'll do it for real love, and real love only- even if it means the throne passes him by and goes instead to his uncle. Hyunjin doesn't understand, nor does he care, why the law requires him to marry to take the throne. He imagines it's related to ensuring that the noble line continues- something he ultimately pays no mind to and refuses to take seriously, though he knows he should.

Hyunjin is considered by most of the royal family to be stubborn by nature, a trait his father has told him countless times he gets from his late mother, but Hyunjin himself likes to believe he is reasonable. While he's not entirely malleable, he does act with the country's best interest in heart, and he swallows down all frustration and gracefully does whatever he feels he must in favor of doing what is best for the citizens.

It just so happens that marriage is the one thing on which he will not compromise; and stubborn or not, Hyunjin thinks he should be allowed this one thing. All he wants is genuine love with someone who places the same amount of value in that love as he does, and he never expected that such a wish would be too much to ask for. But either way, all he can do for now is straighten his posture, put on his best smile, and hope that against his expectations, today will bring him the love he’s been searching for.

Similarly, you too stare from your window; though not from a horse-drawn carriage, but from where your bedroom lies on the second floor of your late father's manor. According to your step-mother, a very important suitor is coming to meet your step-sisters today, and she has taken every necessary precaution in ensuring you would be out of the way for the evening. You were used to such treatment by now, and being locked away in your room and ignored for hours on end was no longer something that brought you the intense grief it once had.

Sad to say, it'd become a simple fact of life since your father passed; you were used to the loneliness and the sadness and the grief of having a family that did not love you as you loved them. Truly, you loved your step-mother and sisters, and back then you never would've guessed they secretly abhorred your existence. But your father passed, and with his passing came the truth- that she never loved your father, or you- just what he had; and she was raising her daughters to be just the same.

Against his wife's knowledge or wishes however, your father's will had stipulations she must follow if she wanted to inherit his estate- the most important of which being that she care for you, his precious, only biological daughter, as one of her own until the day you are wed and depart from the manor to be with your new family. Thanks to this clause, your step-mother provides for you; and though it is only the bare minimum amount necessary, it could certainly be worse. You still have your childhood bedroom, all your precious belongings, 3 hot meals a day, and the maids who helped your father raise you still checking in on you.

The maids are forbidden from interacting with you more than is necessary, as your step-mother makes it her mission to make you as miserable as possible within the limitations your father's will provides, but they do what they can. The small talk they provide while filling your bath with hot water, and the snuck in messages written on scraps of paper hidden beneath your dinner tray are often the highlights of your day. You are lonely, but not alone, and that keeps you going on the particularly hard days.

Days like today, where the padlock your step-mother installed outside your bedroom door is ordered to remain locked no matter what, ensuring that you are unable to leave and ruin her evening, or her plans. She intends to find her daughters wealthy, prestigious husbands- men that cannot be given the chance to look upon you, lest they decide they like you more than her biological daughters.

You wouldn't misbehave regardless of whether or not the lock was in place. You're so used to being locked away in your room that even were the lock to no longer exist, you don't think you'd even notice; because you wouldn't ever try to leave in the first place. And compounding on that, you don't think yourself particularly special or beautiful enough to "threaten" your sister's marriage prospects; all you'd do is needlessly subject yourself to reminders that you're lesser than when they inevitably gloss over you.

You simply.. exist. But in your step-mother's eyes, that's your greatest sin. She hates you, and your existence alone causes her great grief. The simple fact that you exist prevented her from truly obtaining what she wanted most; your father's wealth hinged on you being taken care of to obtain. And thus, she couldn't just throw you out and leave you to your fate as she originally intended; so she begrudgingly provides for you, the depth of her loathing coming out in passive-aggressive words, meals resentfully delivered, and a locked bedroom door where she can leave you for a time and pretend her greatest wish is true- that you don't exist.

Staring out your window is how you've come to spend most of your days. Daydreaming, listening to birds sing, watching deer graze and rabbits sprint across the fields and between the trees. You reread your books to the point you could recite them with ease, you fantasize about love and companionship and freedom, and you wonder if there will ever come a day where such joy can be yours. You suspect not; when you do marry, it'll likely be to some terrible man your step-mother chooses on the basis that they continue your misery.

But in the sanctity of your bedroom, inside your imagination and idle daydreams, you can pretend that true love and happiness waits for you. Where you are valued and cherished and adored, where you are wanted and craved, where a life without you in it cannot even be imagined, for it would be too painful for your lover to even consider.

Lost in thought as you are, you almost miss it when the carriage your step-mother and sisters are expecting comes into sight. And normally you would pull yourself away from the window, make sure you're out of sight from whomever exits the carriage, lest whoever your step-mother is having over recognize you. But this carriage is so different from the ones that typically arrive at the manor that it makes you curious.

It's fancy- easily the most extravagant and ornate carriage you've ever seen; not that you've seen many, but the point stands. It's clear that whomever your family is meeting today is no ordinary suitor. There’s a crest beholden on the door, one that seems vaguely familiar, and you wish you could place it as it would assuredly be a hint to who is arriving, but the memory of what family it comes from eludes you.

It’s been so long since you’ve been out to the city, or communicated with families your father was close with, that it's hard to recall the family crests you once so easily recognized. But whatever family it belongs to, one thing is clear- they are surely wealthy and prestigious to afford a carriage this grand. No wonder your step-mother wants you out of the way today; if a wealthy suitor somehow chooses you over her real daughters, that would be her worst nightmare.

You watch with bated breath as a man steps out from the left side of the carriage, a man you can tell from dress alone is some sort of attendant. He works his way around to the right of the carriage to open the door for whoever remains inside- the wealthy suitor being an obvious guess. And really, you should look away and mind your own business lest you risk angering your step-mother, but you can't help yourself. This is the closest thing to fresh entertainment you’ve had (and are going to have), and so you can’t bring yourself to tear your eyes away.

And oh, the man who steps out when the door is opened for him is breathtaking. Even at a distance, he’s positively ethereal- easily the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. And you are certain that, even with your lack of worldly experience, he is utterly without comparison. He’s pretty, impossibly pretty, with long black hair, half of which is tied back by a ribbon, rings adorning his fingers, ornate yet dainty bracelets that seem to perfectly match the necklaces he wears, and beautiful, pure white and dangly earrings that remind you of a teardrop in shape, all of which match his equally embellished doublet.

He looks so very grand, elegant, to the point that you feel absolutely unworthy to even be looking at someone so strikingly gorgeous and well dressed. God, if he chooses one of your step-sisters to marry, someone so clearly wealthy and beautiful and important.. you just know your step-mother will lord it over you as her greatest proof that they are better than you.

The bitter, hurt part of you half wished the man your sisters were meeting today would be boorish and unimpressive, but of course that’s not the case.. And it saddens you, strangely. You like to think yourself above pettiness, and you’d rather experience the world through a lens of kindness despite what you’ve suffered, but seeing someone so utterly perfect going to meet your sisters, and knowing how they will mock you and laugh in your face should he fall for one of them..

Maybe, somewhere deep down, you’re jealous. Jealous, and angry, and hurt, as you’ve always been, but tried not to acknowledge. And it’s not the perceived wealth you’re jealous of, or the possibility of a beautiful husband, but the chance for connection they have that you don’t. That they can meet someone like him and be given the chance to fall in love, while you are forced into isolation and monotony. It isn’t fair, and it never has been, but today of all days is where you feel that injustice most strongly.

You choke on the melancholy, your eyes well with tears that you try to blink away as your hands ball into fists in your lap. You shouldn’t have watched the window today or let your curiosity and boredom get the best of you- all you’ve done is make yourself impossibly sad. You begin to stand from your seat by the window, ready yourself to close the curtains and wallow in your bed for the rest of the evening, when suddenly, you freeze. Your hand unmoving on the curtain, eyes widening with the realization that your sister’s suitor is looking at you. And it's not as simple as a passing glance- no, he is staring at you.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened when he first saw you in the window, at first just passively looking over the manor and taking in the sight as he readied himself to enter, before his eyes fell upon you. And upon seeing you, he became completely and utterly enraptured by your beauty, in a way he’s never experienced with anyone he’s ever met before.

He can’t help but stare, can’t manage to tear his eyes away from your visage even when Chris calls his name. And when you stand to close the curtains, and your eyes travel to him and meet his gaze, his breath catches in his throat, his heart skips a beat before it races, and his face flushes to an impossibly bright pink.

How and why does he have this feeling? How is that you enchant him with just a glance, when others have failed to with much more? You’ve not yet truly met, nor spoken a single word, and yet he feels it firmly- a desire hereto unmatched, that does not follow preconceived notions of what is logical, the kind you would only read about in the great romantic works of playwrights and novelists. A feeling he never expected to be based in truth, but here he is now, feeling it for himself- love at first sight.

And if love at first sight is real and it is true, then he cannot wait to meet you. To learn your name and hear your voice and speak with you until your throats run dry. He’ll devote himself to learning everything about you, to carving your every word and thought into his memory. He wants to learn what it is about your soft, melancholic expression that he finds so entrancing, to discover what it is that causes his heart to stir in ways entirely foreign to him.

“Your Majesty, Your Highness, Prince Hyunjin, Hyunjin-” Christopher tries every way possible to get the prince’s attention, letting out an exasperated sigh when Hyunjin finally turns back to him. He doesn’t even know what caught his attention- when he tried to follow the prince’s gaze, all he was met with was a window with its curtains pulled shut. “My apologies. I just-” Hyunjin starts, taking one last glance at the now empty window before turning back to his attendant. “Nevermind. Let’s just go inside.”

Chris quietly huffs his agreement, quickly offering the manor’s maids who were waiting on them his apologies in Hyunjins stead, as he is used to. He’s accustomed to not understanding what goes on inside the prince’s head, but at least he seems prepared now.. Almost happy, Chris would think if he didn’t know better. Regardless of its origin and whether or not he understands where it came from, he will welcome it- because it really is vital that Hyunjin choose a bride with haste.

The start of the evening goes as predictably as anticipated from that point on- the maids lead them to the great room, offering tea and freshly baked sweets while they wait. Hyunjin politely turns them down while Chris stands a comfortable distance away, there simply to keep an eye on the prince and observe how the arranged meeting proceeds. The lady of the manor enters the room after some time passes, bowing politely and apologizing for the delay before ushering her daughters into the room.

They’re dressed extravagantly, as expected, with expensive jewelry, perfectly laid hair, and tasteful makeup. They introduce themselves politely, though they erupt into quiet giggles afterwards, likely excited that one of them will potentially be chosen to marry the prince. Their mother shoots them a look, and it makes them clear their throats and cease their elated giggling, returning to proper posture with their hands folded in front of them, both smiling at him sweetly. But something’s wrong..

Hyunjin looks between the girls, their mother, and back to the girls, head tilting and brows furrowing in confusion; he doesn’t see the one from the window anywhere.. Shouldn’t she be here? “Isn’t there another?” he asks, and the dame’s eyes widen for a moment, a complex flash of emotions that Hyunjin doesn’t have enough time to fully decipher within them, before she reverts back to her previous calm, inviting demeanor.

“I believe I wrote in my proposal to the royal family that I have two, and only two, daughters. Perhaps there was a miscommunication between you and your men?” She suggests, and though it’s spoken kindly, Hyunjin gets the distinct impression that she wants to shut down any talk of a third daughter here and now. Christopher too is confused, but he apologizes to the dame, insisting the mistake is his fault, though it certainly isn’t.

The dame accepts the apology and swiftly moves on, though the tension still lingers. Even as she begins to talk at great length about how wonderful her daughters are and how lucky everyone involved would be should Hyunjin choose one of them to be his princess, there’s an edge beneath the kindly spoken words that hint towards how bothered his mistake made her. Her daughters too seem tense when he first questions if there is another, though by the time they are allowed to speak themselves all tension in them seems to melt away, instead focusing on singing their own praises and expressing their desire to see the royal castle.

It’s so jarring, tense, awkward, that it completely prevents Hyunjin from being able to focus on a single word the girls say. Ordinarily, he would not bat an eye at someone correcting a mistake in his speech or for having come to an incorrect conclusion, as it is imperative that a prince goes about his dealings with as correct as information as possible. But that being said, the dame’s reaction rubs him the wrong way, especially when paired with the nervous flash in her daughter’s eyes as their bodies tensed..

If he was simply mistaken, it would be natural and correct for her to clear up any misgivings he has about her family and estate kindly- there’d be no reason to address him with such underlying hostility or be on the defensive, as if he’d brought up a point that needs to be fiercely fought against. The emotion that flickered in their eyes, the terse words filled with faux-niceties, the shift in body language.. They suggest to Hyunjin only one thing- that a third daughter is in fact here; and for some strange reason, the lady of the house doesn’t want him to meet her.

But why would that be? The ideas that cross his mind make him woefully unable to focus on anything spoken to him. Maybe you’re already promised to someone else, maybe you’ve been married before and are now widowed, living in your old family home while stricken with grief.. Maybe you’re a cousin simply having a visit that by pure chance coincides with the prince arriving too, or maybe he imagined you somehow. But could that really be? You were so real, that doesn’t seem possible..

“But what do you think? .. Prince Hyunjin..?” One of the girls asks, and when he doesn’t reply, Chris clears his throat and steps forward to subtly nudge the prince, breaking him from his thoughts. “Allow me to apologize. The prince is.. tired these days. He’s got a lot on his plate, as I’m sure you understand,” Chris says, shooting Hyunjin a look that begs him to take the lead and finish cleaning the mess he’s made.

“Yes, I’m sorry. Uhm- perhaps you could allow me a small break? And then I promise you’ll both have my undivided attention,” Hyunjin suggests, being sure to offer them his most charismatic smile in the hopes they’ll look past how inattentive he’s been thus far. They agree easily, giggling and lightly blushing, assuring him a break is good for everyone (which he knows isn’t true, but it’s polite of them, at least.)

This time, he accepts the tea when it’s offered to him, chugging it down in a display that goes completely against the manners that have been drilled into him. He asks to be led to the nearest restroom, splashes water on his face and wills himself to focus on the task at hand. And though it comes with great difficulty, he forces himself to pay strict attention to every word spoken to him from that point onward, though your image continues to exist in the back of his mind the entire time.

Hyunjin steps out of the manor with a sigh, finding himself entirely drained after his meeting with the two sisters and their incredibly duplicitous mother. Originally, he’d planned to leave before nightfall, but they somehow managed to rope him into having dinner with them, and to say it was exhausting would be an understatement. Now he stands in the light of the moon, deep frown returning as he waits for preparations to leave to be made- because he absolutely refuses to stay here until morning.

As expected, once he broke himself out of his fog and started paying attention to what they were saying, they were incredibly vain and equally daft, and the more he spoke to them, the clearer it became that they weren’t fit to someday sit on a throne. It was extremely obvious that they were vying for increased fortune and pride- and at the behest of their mother specifically. To old herself to marry into the royal family, it seemed she was content to allow her daughters to do the social climbing on her behalf.

Not that her daughter’s are completely ignorant of this plot- he’s sure they’re well aware of the benefits if one of them becomes a princess, and are well instructed and prepped on how best to appeal themselves to a noble’s proclivities. Unfortunately for them, Hyunjin is unlike most nobles, and he takes the task of one day rearing his country very seriously- much too seriously to marry someone selfish, and without grace or tact, nor whom he fails to have a genuine connection with. Beauty alone won’t be enough to win him over.

Saying that however.. He can’t seem to stop thinking about the strikingly gorgeous girl he saw from the window. He feels himself a hypocrite, saying it takes more than good looks to win his heart, and yet still finding himself hung up on the mysterious beauty in the window. He looks up to that window, and sees nothing- the curtains are drawn, the room pitch dark, and there’s a part of him that considers the dame’s words true. There is no third girl, and what he saw was perhaps a phantom, a trick of the light, a mysterious cousin, or..

Well, he doesn’t know what, but he can’t allow himself to continue to linger on a girl that may not even be real, or obtainable if she does exist. "What's going on with you tonight? You never have a good time at these things, but you've been more off than is.. typical of you," Chris suddenly speaks up after Hyunjin sighs once more, and the prince frowns as he looks to his attendant.

A lot weighs on his mind; more than he feels he can even begin to explain. The way Hyunjin's thoughts swim in his head like a whirlpool- can he even begin to express himself in a way that is coherent and understandable to his most trusted attendant? Regardless, he has to start somewhere, and so he tries. “I’m afraid that I’ll never find what I’m looking for. Those girls were.. vapid to say the least. I’ve no interest in marrying a social climber, but.. I am beginning to think that perhaps I have no choice.”

Chris' expression softens as he offers Hyunjin a gentle, reassuring pat on the shoulder. There is little he can do to make the prince feel better about his circumstance, he knows; he often has to remind Hyunjin to keep his royal duty in mind, and though it doesn't always show, he does feel bad that the prince is forced into such a situation.

It can't be easy bearing such a burden, and Chris certainly doesn't envy the struggle to find a bride under such constraints, or the responsibilities that will come to Hyunjin once he is wed. “Well, don’t fret too hard about that just yet. We still have a few more interested parties we’ve yet to meet. And maybe the universe wants to show you the wrong first, so that when you meet who is right.. you’ll know,” Chris says earnestly, trying his best to show the prince support.

"Mm, maybe," Hyunjin mumbles, desperately hoping his attendant is right. He hoped you would be that right person, but if fate deems it right to show him heartache and to put him through trials before happiness can come to him then he will just have to accept that. Chris frowns, but knows there is not much else he can offer to ease the prince's worries; so he instead turns his attention to the carriage to check on the progress for departure.

“Looks like we’re ready to depart,” Chris says after the coachman finishes adorning the carriage with lanterns suitable for the night ride back to the castle, "Maybe you'll feel better after some rest. And if you'd like, we can talk some more about this tomorrow." Hyunjin simply nods, following his attendant to the carriage with an immense weight still on his shoulders.

Despite what he logically knows, he can't shake his sadness over the fact that his burden wasn't lifted this evening, the irrational sorrow that comes from his hopes being dashed- that the beautiful girl he saw in the window could not be met.. But he tries to think that maybe it’s for the best that there wasn’t a third daughter for him to meet after all. Given the influence of their mother, she’d likely have been just as bad as her sisters, and that would’ve surely broken his heart beyond the ache he feels now.

Chris approaches the left-side door first, opening it swiftly and then standing to the side, motioning for Hyunjin to enter first, as is customary. Hyunjin places a hand on the doorframe and a foot on the iron step, ready to step inside in the carriage, but takes one last glance at the manor before he does. And there, a glimmer of hope- the image of you, just barely there peeking through the curtains, the faint light of a candle flickering in your hand.

Though a considerable distance away, he can see your eyes widen when you realize he sees you yet again, gasping and quickly moving away from the window, the light of your candle disappearing with your image. “She’s there!” Hyunjin exclaims, instantly separating himself from the carriage, and taking an unconscious step back towards the manor. “Who’s there?” Chris questions as he follows Hyunjin’s gaze to the window, confused to, again, find absolutely no one and nothing of note.

"I.. don't know who exactly, but she was there, I saw her," Hyunjin continues, and while Chris is still utterly baffled, he does see that the curtains are slightly swaying despite the window being closed- meaning someone was there, and caused them to shift by either touching them, or walking past them. He looks back to Chris, sees the hesitant, puzzled expression, and tries to explain himself in the briefest, but most concise way possible.

“I saw her in the window when we first arrived too! I asked the dame about her, thinking she may have had another daughter, but you heard how she reacted- she brushed me off so coldly.” "Well.. maybe she was telling the truth? It's possible she's simply a maid," Chris suggests, but Hyunjin quickly shakes his head. "She isn't. I assure you, after seeing their maids I wouldn't confuse her for one.. She's entirely unlike any of them."

"Okay.. So she's not a maid. But there could still be a reasonable explanation for everything," Chris says, and oh no, he can instantly tell where Hyunjin's mind is going. "Exactly! So I'm going to meet her, and find out what that reason is," Hyunjin says, wasting no time in walking back up to the manor. “What? How exactly do you plan on doing that when the dame clearly didn’t want you to meet her?” Chris quietly exclaims as he follows Hyunjin towards the direction of your window.

“There’s a trellis near her window, and I intend to climb it,” Hyunjin smiles, as if it’s a perfectly reasonable plan and not at all insane for him to do. “Go back to the carriage, and instruct the coachman to drive it down the road and out of sight. I don’t want the ladies of the house to know I’m still here if they happen to look out from their windows,” Hyunjin instructs, and again, Chris is absolutely floored by the prince. “Your Highness, you- you can’t be serious,” he quietly exclaims again, though he can tell Hyunjin is entirely serious about all of this.

"Just do this for me, please? I need to do this- for my peace of mind if nothing else," Hyunjin tells him, and though Chris still doesn't understand why the prince is so adamant about meeting you, he can see the sincerity and the drive in his eyes, and so he concedes. “Fine, just.. try to be discreet and don’t take too long, okay? And don’t make her uncomfortable!” Chris warns and Hyunjin thanks his attendant warmly before turning his attention back to your window.

He approaches the manor carefully, tiptoeing up to the trellis that will act as his ladder to your window. He places a foot into one of the slots and carefully adds his weight, making sure it’ll hold before he begins to climb it in earnest. He’s never done anything like this, but he knows he’d regret it if he didn’t at least try to meet the woman who so easily captured his heart with just a glance, while desperately, and maybe vainly, hoping he has a chance with you.

Hyunjin knocks softly on the window once he reaches it, doing his best to make it loud enough for you to hear, but not so loud that he would alarm anyone who may be nearby. Though your room is dark, the moon offers just enough illumination through the curtains that he can make you out. And while unlit, you are still holding the candle in one hand, while the other is nervously placed over your heart.

You can't believe this happening- the devastatingly handsome man meant to be wooed by one of your sisters saw you again, and is now at your window? Your heart is racing out of control, you don't know what to do or what to think seeing him there, waiting for you to approach the window, approach him.

You didn't even expect to see him again when you stepped to your window and peeked out; you simply saw lantern light from your window whilst preparing for bed, and it piqued your interest. You wanted to know what was going on, of course you did, so you looked, fully expecting the answer to be guards doing an uncharacteristically late sweep of the grounds, or maids sneaking out to meet the secret lovers you knew them to have.

But what you saw instead was the beautiful man from earlier in the process of stepping inside his grand carriage- and as if sensing you were watching, he turned to the manor, his eyes instantly falling on you. Just as you had this evening, you gasped and quickly shuffled away from the window, blowing out your candle as your heart pounded in your chest. Several seconds passed, and with trembling steps, you stepped back to the window and took one more cautious glance outside, only to see him approaching the manor, clearly intending to seek you out.

You gasped again, moving away from the window once more, mind reeling and pulse quickening. And now he’s here, having clearly climbed the trellis up to your window, hope in his eyes as he looks at you and waits. Swallowing, you carefully set the candle down on your nearby nightstand before you take cautious steps back towards the window, opening it ever so slightly. “May I come in?” he asks quietly, likely recognizing that speaking at full volume would be unwise, “I wish to speak with you.”

His voice is as silky and pretty as you imagined, and it positively jolts you. Everything about him seems impossibly perfect- part of you thinks that you've must've already fallen asleep, that you're tucked in bed and having a vivid dream based on the events of the day. But no, you've never dreamed as vividly as this, and you'd certainly remember if you'd crawled into bed after checking the lantern light from the window.

And that leaves you with a dilemma; the man, as gorgeous as he is, is still a stranger- and certainly you can't just let a strange man enter your room through your window.. That goes against everything your father ever taught you about safety. So you hesitate, observing him carefully for a moment.

And maybe it's just the fact that he's beautiful, or your yearning for connection that makes you want to trust him, even if it makes no logical sense to do so. You can't help but think he looks genuine and sincere, and well.. you can't ignore how desperately you desire to talk to someone, anyone, for more than the brief amount you're allowed to with your maids. Still, even if you crave connection with someone, you should be careful who you speak to shouldn't you?

He notices the hesitancy, recognizes what kind of situation he's imposing on you, and so he speaks up again, "Or I can stay here and we just talk through the window? If that's okay with you." Hyunjin knows he's being unreasonable and getting way too ahead of himself in his desire to speak with you, and it's crucial that he does his utmost to show you that he has no intention of making you uncomfortable.

Really, you should turn him down; but logic has left you, and truth be told you don't entirely trust that he can stand at the top of the trellis and support his own weight for much longer. So, you open your window further, granting him permission to step inside in your bedroom. He crawls in through your window as quietly as he can manage, smiling at you when he's fully inside. His smile is timid, and a bit awkward- this is easily the most nervous he’s ever felt, and he knows he’s going about meeting you completely backwards, but what other choice did he have?

Your mother, aunt, or whoever she is to you- he doubts she would’ve allowed him the chance to meet you. Her words and body language were much too passive aggressive to lead him to believe she’d meet the request to speak with you kindly, nor does he think she'd take kindly to being insinuated a liar. Additionally, it was highly unlikely that she’d willingly and truthfully divulge information about you or answer his questions. And so it led him to this- his fateful first meeting with the girl of his dreams happening within her moonlit bedroom.

He's completely out of his depth and unsure of himself or anything he's doing, but he holds out his palm, offering for you to place your hand in his. You blink, look up and down between his hand and his patient expression, and then you remember- oh, right, proper introductions. The setting is unorthodox, but it seems he still has it in mind to be polite and correct; as much as is possible, anyways.

You hesitate a moment, but ultimately place your hand in his, and he bows to you, lifting your hand to his mouth and placing a chaste kiss just above the knuckle. It's a simple, proper greeting, one that most people your age are entirely accustomed to, but it's been so long since you experienced it that it makes your skin erupt in goosebumps and heart thump erratically in your chest.

And there's the fact that he's jaw droppingly gorgeous- that certainly doesn't help.

You do your best to collect yourself when he straightens back up and looks at you once more. "I'm Hyunjin," he tells you in case you don't know, voice still as soft as it was at your window, a near whisper, "would you tell me your name, please?" This whole thing is entirely out of order and backwards, but you politely curtsey after offering him your name, though it feels silly to do so in your night chemise. And something about the way he looks at you makes your face burn hotter than it ever has.

All he’s heard is you speak your name, but he already considers your voice to be just as pretty as you are- he hopes he’ll get to hear it far beyond this single night. "If I may, I want to ask.. Do you know who I am? Or why I came here today?" He asks, looking directly into your eyes as he awaits your answer. You swallow, the eye contact making your heart skip a beat and pulse climb, but you steady yourself the best you can to answer. "You're.. a suitor who came to meet my sisters. But I didn't know your name until you told me it."

Hyunjin's eyes flicker with unfamiliar emotion as he takes in your answer- he knew it! You're no ordinary girl, nor a housemaid with an unusually lavish room. And what strikes him, apart from the confirmation that you're related to the girls he met downstairs, is what you said about him. You didn't know his name, don't know who he is apart from a potential suitor to your sisters.

He still doesn't understand why you weren't allowed to meet him, but it gives him hope- that if you are unwed, your love can be genuine. You won't marry him for title or wealth or power, but for who he is as a person. In the 4 corners of your bedroom, his name holds no weight, and that's all he's ever wanted.

But he should ask now, before he gets too ahead of himself and breaks his own heart, or lets a leap in logic carry him far beyond where rationality can reach him- ask if you are already promised to another. "Are you betrothed?" Hyunjin asks, and you quickly shake your head, surprised by the way he smiles in a mix of joy and relief to know you are unwed. Is that.. a good thing?

You're not even sure why you shook your head so vehemently when he first asked, as if you wanted there to be no mistake. Why would it matter to him if you are going to be married to someone or not? But something about his smile tells you it matters to him very much, though it is impossible for you to fathom why that could be. "Why do you ask..?" you question hesitantly, unsure of what you even hope to hear in response.

"Since I first saw you in the window, I've wanted to know you," he tells you earnestly, and your heart once again skips a beat. You knew he saw you, and you knew that were he perceptive enough to tell you aren't a maid he'd likely have questions about you or lingering curiosity. But it still surprises you that he shows this much interest- that it's more to him than just a passing question he'd be content to forget about in a day's time.

“Why didn’t you ask my mother then?” you ask him, though you suspect you know the answer. It’s not that he’s trying to solve a mystery or investigate why a seemingly innocuous girl is tucked away out of sight from visitors- and while you’re sure he’d welcome the answers to such questions, it’s more than that. For some strange reason, it’s just you- you as a person that he wants to know.

And you don’t know what to do with that. Your existence is so often ignored and trivialized, you can’t begin to understand why a glance of you in the window is enough to drive him to seek you out. You can’t understand what it is about you that is worth this, worth the curiosity and the climb to your window. Why would anyone want to speak to you so badly? You’re not special enough to warrant this.

“I did ask, and I didn’t like the answer,” Hyunjin says, and you blink in surprise. You can easily imagine that your step-mother would dismiss your existence when asked about you, or say something along the lines of “she doesn’t matter,” or “don’t worry about her, she’s nobody,”- so it’s not that that surprises you. What surprises you is that he heard an answer and not only didn’t accept it, but said he didn’t like it. Why?

Try as you might, you can't understand his motivations. Even if he could tell there was more that your step-mother wasn't telling him, why does he care so much about who you are? All visitors before Hyunjin who have stolen a glance at you either never asked about you, or have accepted her answers at face value, and it made sense that they did- because what reason did they have to push for the truth, or meet you regardless of her wishes?

“I’m interested in you, and I didn’t believe what I was told. I want to know you,” he continues, reiterates his sentiment, and you feel utterly frozen. All you can manage to do is blink up at him, your breath and words caught in your throat. And you realize your hand still rests in his, and you’re sure he can feel the way it trembles- from confusion, from nerves, from the simple act of even being held by someone for the first time since you were a child. But he doesn’t let go, and you don’t take it away- because he’s interested in you, and you want to know what that means, want to cling to the possibility that you can have the companionship that has eluded you for years.

“But.. why?” you finally ask, mind reeling from the possibilities. Regardless of what your step-mother may have told him, there’s one thing that she’s never wrong about- that you’re nobody, nothing, that your existence is a hindrance and you’re better off shoved aside where you can’t impose on her. You used to challenge that thought, but you’ve long since lost the will to fight against it, often finding yourself believing it to be true. And since you’re not special, or important, or particularly pretty, why is he so interested in you? You just don’t get it.

"If you'll forgive me for being forward.. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. And I know it's presumptuous of me, and perhaps shallow, to want to meet you so badly for that alone but.. I couldn't let the image of you go. I had to take the chance to find out who you are," Hyunjin spills his thoughts freely, making his desires and motivations clear.

And just as before, it leaves you completely stunned. What he's saying.. that can't be right. You? The most beautiful he's ever seen? That feels like something you should be saying to him- Hyunjin is easily the most radiant and ethereal person you've ever seen, but he's saying all this about you?

You're rendered speechless, face burning impossibly hot as the words repeat themself in your mind on a loop. "I've got to go," he continues, slowly letting go of your hand as he prepares to return to the window, "but I want- I hope you’ll allow me to see you again." I hope you'll give me a chance to win your heart, he wants to add, but he's already been much more forward than he'd ever imagined himself to be, and he doesn't want to jeopardize anything that might be budding.

He steps back to the window and you follow, watching as he readies himself to climb back down the trellis he used to reach you. "We'll meet again?" he asks after settling his weight on the trellis, looking back at you with hopeful eyes. It feels foolish, and a bit naive to wish so hard that you'll desire to see him again; all he can do now is hope the impression he made is enough to allow you defy your sense of logic, just as you've done to him simply by looking his way.

You smile softly, the first smile you've shown him, the first you've done in God knows how long- and you nod as you promise him you will. You don't know how it will work or where it will lead, if anywhere, but you think you'd regret it if you didn't at least try. You miss companionship, you miss having someone to talk to, you miss smiling and the feeling of comfort and joy that comes from being close with someone who understands and knows you. You don't want to let this opportunity to have someone in your life slip you by.

Hyunjin's heart jumped when you smiled at him, and he returned the smile brightly as he said his goodbyes, heart still thumping and smile still plastered on his face as he descended the trellis. He looks back to the window, waving to you when he sees you watching from between the curtains, a giddy feeling building in his stomach when you wave back. Following the dirt road away from the manor, he meets back up with Chris at the carriage, happily relaying everything that happened to him on their way back to the castle.

You retired to your bed once Hyunjin was out of sight, but found it hard to sleep following your interactions. Curled up under the blankets, eyes closed and heavy, ready to sleep, but mind racing and replaying the night's events. There's a chance that this is a mistake, but you don't think you'll regret having taken the chance- because the hope and joy you feel now is the most delightful feeling you've experienced since you were a girl, and that feeling alone is worth whatever trouble it may bring your way.

It's hard to explain in words the emotions that come from having Hyunjin close to you. From having just a few short months ago gone from spending your nights restless from loneliness, to now lying awake in bed wondering if tonight will be one of the nights you hear his tap on your window. Going from hardly ever speaking a word, to now talking so much that your throat aches. To never feeling the warmth of another, to lingering touches and reluctant parting of held hands heating your skin.

You suppose what you can say is that it feels like the hole in your heart is being mended; a void wrenched open by loss and sadness slowly repaired with each clandestine meeting you share. It's bittersweet, sometimes; your melancholy was easier to ignore when you didn't have someone to share your thoughts and feelings with. It’s strange, how gaining what you were missing makes the bad in your life hurt much worse. It awakens a new fear within you- that one day, Hyunjin will tire of you, and you'll be alone once more.

As if knowing your fears, irrational or not, Hyunjin makes it no secret how he feels about you, or what he hopes the two of you may become. Besides, the very reason he first came to the manor was to answer a marriage proposal- so of course he makes it clear how much he likes you. And though you're aware of his feelings, you don't feel any sort of pressure or expectation from him, nor does he ever make you uncomfortable. You get the distinct impression that should you ever reject him, Hyunjin would move on gracefully, even if it weighed heavily on his heart.

All that being said, he hasn't blatantly asked you to be his bride yet, though it is obvious he wishes to. And putting aside what is rational, proper, or logical, you don't think you'd turn him down were he to ask you now. Hyunjin has become the highlight of your days, the hope that keeps you going when loneliness and sadness acutely strike you. He's radiant and intelligent and effortlessly witty; and you can still remember the way his eyes lit up the first time he made you laugh.

You had to clamp your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing too loudly, and Hyunjin's eyes crinkled as his smile beamed. He told you it was the prettiest sound he'd ever heard, that happiness suited you much more than sadness, that he hoped you'd smile and laugh more than you'd frown. And you think as long as you're with him, that'll be an easy promise to keep.

You've confided in him much of your life, your thoughts, and your feelings. He's an attentive listener, as well as empathetic and compassionate. And while you're sure to most it's the bare minimum, it felt nice to be listened to for once; to cry openly without being ignored, or mocked on the off chance you were acknowledged. It was nice to be held and gently consoled as you let out years worth of pent up tears flow out, though by the end you were always greatly embarrassed by your red eyes and puffy face.

Hyunjin, who wasn't fond of your step-mother from the start, liked her even less after you'd explained what you'd gone through following the loss of your father. It was interesting, as well as vindicating, hearing in detail his first impression of her, and how accurately he pin-pointed her personality and motivations. He told you he was used to dealing with people such as her, and his ability to nail her down was proof enough of that.

That's why he likes you, he said; likes that you're nothing like your step-mother, or step-sisters, or the countless other people he's met that hold the same motivations and values as them. There was no denying that his attraction to you started with your appearance, he admitted so himself right from the start, but you believe him when he says he's not superficial enough to marry for looks alone.

Whether you're as pretty as he says you are is still a matter of contention within yourself, but you try not to reject the compliments; especially not when he speaks them so earnestly. You don't find yourself special, but maybe it's enough that he does. And you recognize that everything about your relationship with Hyunjin is unconventional, but you don't dwell much on it.

You never would've had the chance to meet someone normally, and you welcome the solace and joy he brings you just by being near. When you think further upon how close the two of you have become, you wonder if words like "friend" or "companion" are enough. You wonder if this is what it means to be in love, if longing and desire and joy are really as hand in hand as they were always portrayed in your novels.

His tap on your window comes earlier than you expect it to today, elation spreading through your veins instantly as you rush to the window to open it for him. Normally, Hyunjin doesn't come to you until the sun has long since fallen, but tonight he arrives while the last specs of sunset still linger on the horizon. "You're early," you comment simply, a small smile spreading on your lips as he steps his way inside to your bedroom.

"Couldn't wait anymore," he replies, meeting you with a soft smile of his own. Summer brought with it longer days, which meant longer waits for Hyunjin to arrive at your window, and less time spent together before he had to rush back to his home. He pulls you into an embrace, gentle and warm, and you squeeze him tight for a small moment before you allow yourself to melt in his arms.

His hands rest comfortably on your back, lingering even as you pull slightly away to look up at him. "Your hair has gotten longer," you muse, taking a soft strand into your hand and admiring it between your fingers. "Has it?" he asks, having not noticed himself; it's hard to notice subtle changes considering he sees it everyday. "Do you like it?" he follows up, ever so slightly tilting his head as he awaits your answer.

"I do," you reply as you let it fall from your fingertips, now letting your hand fall to his shoulder, "it's pretty." He hums in response, smile turning bashful. Since becoming more comfortable in his presence, you speak your mind more openly, which also means he receives more compliments from you. There's a shyness that lingers, a blush often overtaking your cheeks after an admittance of finding him pretty, or handsome, or beautiful, but it never stops you from saying what you truly think.

Hyunjin is used to receiving compliments; and it's not meant to sound vain, but that's the reality of being the prince. And because he is used to them, he is normally unaffected by such words; but with you it's different. He isn't blind, of course, he knows he's conventionally attractive- but it's the intent of the words that matter. Unlike others he's met, you are genuine and sincere. You don't speak with ulterior motives, you don't say things unless you earnestly mean them.

So, when you say he's pretty, he takes great pride in it; because you aren't saying it out of a sense of obligation or gain. You just like him, and he likes you- that's all there is to your interactions. The affection you share is the realest thing he's ever felt, refreshing and authentic.

You know he's the prince, though he hasn't yet told you himself; you overheard your sisters speaking about it to each other just a few days after their arranged meeting. They were by your door, loud voices carrying and infiltrating your space. You think you were meant to hear it- vain and confident in themselves as they are, you suspect they wanted to rub it in that one of them would marry the prince.

Not that you cared- unbeknownst to them, you already met him yourself, and you’re the one the prince really shows interest in. And his identity shocked you at first, but as you thought about it more, it made sense; his impressive carriage, his elegant attire, the way he carried himself and spoke, why you thought you recognized his family crest- it all clicked.

Given all you've learned about him, what he thinks about the world and what he values, it makes sense that he wouldn't tell you right away, and you don't hold it against him. Going your whole life questioning the motives of others, and perceptively picking up on their dishonesty.. it must be hard. You can't even imagine it.

In turn, Hyunjin can't imagine how hard your own sufferings have been, his heart aching terribly for you whenever you put your sadness to words. There's a strange sort of comfort that comes from it however; your lived experiences being so entirely different, but aligning in just a way that leads you to understand one another.

Still, there were many times that Hyunjin wished the solutions to your problems were easy- that he could just use his authority as prince of the realm to give you your life back. Unfortunately, he thinks his interference would only make things worse for you; wish as he may that he could simply order your step-mother to be kinder to you, there's no way he can do so without great risk to your well-being.

It's frustrating and saddening to realize how little his power can do to help the one he cares most deeply for. There were equally times he wishes he could just take you away from all that hurts you; but until you either agree to wed him, or he becomes king after marrying another, he has no authority over who may or may not reside in the castle.

His greatest hope, of course, is that you'll wish to marry him. He doesn't even want to think about the devastation that will be wrought upon him should you reject him. You like each other, that much is true and plainly obvious, but marriage, especially to someone destined to rule, may not be something you want. And besides that, he's always wanted his marriage to have real affection tied to it- and until he knows definitively where your heart lies, he will be patient.

Though they sound like complaints, Hyunjin actually loves the progression of your relationship. Yes, it saddens him that as things stand now he can't remove you from the source of your pain or change things, but there is an equal amount of good that has come from his experiences climbing to your window.

His heart beats fast and erratic whenever you look at him and smile, your soft, small giggles and sweet laughs make his ears and face burn pleasantly. It doesn't always show, given his natural charisma and learned manners, but you fluster him more than you realize. His brain stutters when you compliment him, his body crawls with goosebumps when you initiate a hug or hold his hand, he unconsciously holds his breath when your face ever comes slightly too close to his own.

Though his father still urges him to bring home a bride sooner rather than later, he has managed to quell his father's worries by describing his affection for you. It's also what allows him to regularly leave the castle to meet you, with Chris himself also attesting to how genuine the prince's infatuation for you is.

And it's moments like this, when you're in his arms and looking up at him with your soft doe eyes and sweet smile that he feels the urge to kiss you the most. Before he can think about it much longer, you're separating from his hold, grabbing his hand and leading him to your bed with a softly spoken, "Shall we?"

It's your routine when he visits to sit or lie in your bed together, talking endlessly until the time comes that he has to depart. Sometimes you fall asleep, in which case he just indulges in the feeling of holding you close, stroking your head until the chirp of birds begins with the start of the sunrise, alerting him it's time to go.

Sometimes talking is too hard, and all you want is to feel him close and let your negative feelings wash away in his hold, and let them be replaced by his warmth. Sometimes you run out of things to say and simply enjoy each other's company in comfortable silence. Oftentimes, Hyunjin just being in your space with you is all you need to be happy.

There's an unspoken hope there that you share- that someday soon you'll be able to fall asleep together, to wake together, to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, for every moment to be spent with the person that rouses your once dormant heart. There’s still part of you that questions if you can really be loved by someone as good as him, but it’s what you hope for more than you’ve ever hoped for anything.

"Wait-" Hyunjin calls softly as you begin to step towards the bed, and you stop, turning back to look at him with a curious tilt of the head and questioning eyes. He swallows, beginning to lose his nerve as you stare at him. He wants to tell you how badly he wants to kiss you, to ask if it's something you'll allow him, if you crave it as much as he does.

"What is it?" you ask, squeezing his hand when you feel the slight anxious tremble. His face reddens, and he internally curses himself for having such difficulty. He once felt it was entirely unlike him to be reduced to such shyness, but you bring it out of him with just a look. "I just.. uh, well-" he starts, but before he can get much further, you hear a sound from the hallway that makes you jump.

"Shit-" you mutter in a harsh whisper, the sound of a metal object clinking just outside your door. Hyunjin doesn't realize what it is just yet, but the sound is one you can instantly recognize- it's the sound of your step-mother taking the padlock into her hands. You scramble to push Hyunjin in the direction of your bathroom as you hear the lock begin to turn, afterwards standing near your open window as calmly and naturally as you can manage.

Hyunjin doesn't have any time to think about what's happening, or to dwell on the sound he heard outside your door before he hears it start to swing open. All he can do is hide himself behind your bathroom door, and pray that whoever is entering your bedroom has no reason to step inside your bathroom.

Your step-mother enters your room with suspicion clear on her face, looking around the room with narrow eyes and scrunched brows. You take a quick, cautious glance towards your bathroom, relieved to notice that Hyunjin isn't in immediate sight. Thank God, you think; you don't know how she'd react to seeing the prince inside your bedroom, and you don't want to find out.

"Who are you talking to?" she asks, taking a stern step closer to you. You swallow down your nerves the best you can as you prepare yourself to answer- you can't give her any reason to suspect you're lying. "I was talking to the birds," you answer, pointing to where a nest of them rests on the tree nearest to your window.

The family of birds are settling in for sleep now that the sun has sunk, and you hope your step-mother finds it believable enough that you'd talk to them as they ready themselves for bed. Her eyes follow where you point, easily spotting the birds beginning to tuck their heads down, and she scoffs. She could've sworn she heard another voice replying to you but.. that'd be impossible, wouldn't it? Who would even be here talking to you?

Yes, though she hates to admit when she's wrong, she was likely just mistaken. The other voice she thought she heard was likely just you supplementing a conversation you wish you could be having with another person. There were never two people- just you, and the lonely life she inflicts upon you. So she smiles, condescending as ever as she speaks, "Yes, well. I suppose that's all you can do."

Your step-mother takes one more cursory glance around your room before she decides she's satisfied and turns to exit your bedroom. You breathe a sigh of relief when she finally steps out the door, and Hyunjin steps out from your bathroom just as the sound of the lock on your bedroom door clicks shut. He recognizes what it is more clearly after hearing the sound of the lock a second time, and his heart sinks at the realization of what that sound means.

"Hyunjin?" you whisper in question as he walks right past you, heading straight for your closed bedroom door. He takes the doorknob in his hand, twists it and pushes the door- and what he feared to be true is immediately confirmed. The door doesn't open, harshly stopped as the lock clanks against the door from the motion of it trying to be opened- you're locked in. Why are you locked in?

When he turns back to you, you say nothing; just look at him with those deeply saddened eyes that twists his heart into knots. "You're.. are you always locked in your room?" he asks, though he dreads the answer- and he suspects he already knows. You feel as if you'll sob if you speak, so you don't- you just nod.

His heart sinks to the pit of his stomach, a complex mix of sadness and rage on your behalf beginning to boil in his veins. He knew your step-mother to be vindictive, vain, materialistic, mean, but this.. It was a cruelty positively unheard of, and he couldn't fathom why anyone would have so much hatred in their heart as to resort to this.

He clenches his fists, takes a breath, tries to quell the intensity of his anger before he steps back to you. Your eyes have fallen to the floor, head hung low, hands balled into fists. Hyunjin softly calls your name once he's returned to your side, and you look up at him, eyes glassy as you blink away the tears that try to form. He wraps his arms around you, pulls you to his chest and hugs you tight.

Your reaction is delayed, the complex whir of emotions dulling your senses, but you eventually return the hug. You hold him the tightest you ever have, your hands gripping and bunching the fabric of his linen shirt. Carefully, Hyunjin leads you to your bed, where he knows you find the most comfort. You crawl into bed as soon as he pulls back the blankets, practically curling into a ball as soon as your head hits the pillow.

Hyunjin lies next to you, pulls the blankets up to your chests once he's settled, holding you once more after you move in closer. You press yourself close to him, curling your limbs around his, clinging to him in a desperate need to stay as close as possible. Head pressed into his chest, he softly strokes your head, whispering comforts to you until he feels your body begin to lose its built tension.

Now more than ever, Hyunjin is firm in his belief that he can't let things stay this way- there has to be some way he can use his power to help you. He doesn't want to walk away after knowing the true depth of all that you suffer, he wouldn't forgive himself if he did. Again, he calls to you softly, and when you look up at him he asks, "Do you want to leave? Get away from here?"

You blink, processing the question and wondering how you should answer. Unfortunately, the answer isn't an entirely simple yes or no. The truth is, you wish you didn't have to; this is your father’s manor, the house you grew up in, and though you've suffered greatly since his passing, you find it hard to let go of the happy memories that came before the tragedy.

Despite that, even if he were still here now, it is true that you'd have to leave eventually; you'd marry someday, and married women always leave their childhood homes behind when they wed. Still, when you think of never seeing the manor again, of never returning to your childhood bedroom or talking again with the maids who helped raise you, you feel impossibly sad.

You wish you didn't feel so tied to your home, but it's hard to let go, even when you know it is what's best for you. Additionally, when you did let your mind wander and think about what sort of life you'd lead if you ran away, you realized you were impossibly scared of the world. You've been locked away for so long that you don't remember the way to the places you once recognized, all your connections have been severed, and getting to the castle city, even if you did remember the way, would take days on foot.

Add the fact that you'd have no money, and no way to prepare food for the trip without getting caught, you never let yourself entertain the thought of running away past the occasional frivolous daydream. Sure, you could climb from your window and leave without getting caught, but you could never convince yourself that it was worth trying.

But now you have someone, don't you? Someone who cares about you, who would help you find your way in the vast world you've been kept away from, someone who doesn't want to sit idly by and let you suffer any longer. All you've done since meeting Hyunjin is hope- and the more you look at him and see how vividly he cares, you think that maybe your hope isn’t misplaced. That maybe the life you’ve always wished for is actually obtainable if only you just try.

"If I leave.. where would I go?" you can't help but ask now that you are entertaining the thought of fleeing from the source of your suffering. Realistically, you know there is no way you can do this without Hyunjin's help, and you're sure he knows this too, but you don't want to ask too much of him. You're thankful to have him to rely on, but you don't want to impose- so it's imperative to you that he offers first, so that you don't feel as if you're burdening him.

"Stay with me," he offers without any hint of hesitation, "even if we never wed, even if you never desire me the way I desire you, stay with me." Hyunjin takes your hands in his, squeezes them in his as he continues, "I promise, you’ll never have to suffer again as long as you are in the castle. Please, leave this place with me.”

Your heart skips and stutters, emotion crawls back up your spine and pricks your skin, hitching your breath. And shit, Hyunjin realizes what he just said- he got ahead of himself, and brought up that he lives in the castle. He wanted to admit the truth of his identity carefully, but now.. well, he supposes if you agreed to leave with him, it would've come out tonight regardless.

Still, he stutters as he tries to explain himself- how it was never intended to be a lie he kept from you. How he doesn't often have the chance to meet people who don't already know his status so when you didn't recognize him, it made him happy. How he enjoyed that you could talk to him without pretense, how refreshing it was to him and how it was exactly what he needed, what he'd been looking for.

You smile, even giggle a bit once he gets really deep into his spiraling ramble of explanations. He stops then, nervously giggling back when you squeeze his hands and tell him to slow down, that you understand him completely. "I knew," you tell him after a moment, "well, not the whole time- I didn't find out until later. But I didn't bring up that I knew because it didn't change anything for me. I never cared that you're the prince. To me, you're just Hyunjin."

God, the relief that spreads through his body at your words- a massive weight has lifted from his shoulders. And the confusion you felt about why someone like him could ever fancy you so much- you feel like you understand more now why he likes you, and it helps ease the burden of your self-doubt. You sit up from the bed, looking down at Hyunjin with a timid, yet eager smile.

"Let's go," you tell him, and he quickly sits up with you, a bright smile of his own plastered on his face. "Right now? You're sure?" he asks, trying (and failing) to hide the excitement in his voice. You nod, and he positively beams, ready to help you with everything you need. You don't have many bags, much less ones suited for travel- so you settle for choosing the largest of them all.

Hyunjin helps you back the things you can't bear to part with; old gifts from your father, sentimental pieces you can't bear to part with, the blanket your mother knitted for you when you were still growing inside- you stuff your bag to the brim with your most precious belongings. It's heavy by the time you're done, and Hyunjin takes it and slings it around his shoulders, promising to treat it with care until it's delivered safely to the carriage. "Are you ready?" he asks after you both approach the window, and you pause, turning around to take one last look at your bedroom.

Once you leave, you'll never be back, and with that comes strange, new and complex feelings. But you think it's more than past time you left this place behind, and made a new place your home- a place where you are free to be happy and to exist without guilt. "I'm ready," you affirm as you turn back to the window, and Hyunjin smiles and nods, giving your hand one last reassuring squeeze before he lets it go to climb out of your window.

Hyunjin steadies his weight on the trellis, and you lean out of your window to check how far down the ground is- and shit, you might be afraid of heights if the way your stomach drops is any indicator. "I'll wait for you at the bottom," he tells you after noticing the apprehensive look in your eyes, and you nod with an anxious swallow. Hyunjin has done this a million times at this point- you can do it too! No problem!

Of course, Hyunjin makes the climb look effortless, but you suspect you won't have nearly as easy of a time climbing down. Once he's finished his climb, he takes a few steps back to see you clearly when he looks up, smiling at you encouragingly. You take a breath to steel your nerves before you take a cautious step out of your window, carefully finding your footing on the trellis before adding your weight- the same way you saw him do it.

You descend much, much slower than Hyunjin did, impossibly terrified of losing your footing and falling to the dirt below. When you finally reach the bottom, you let out a massive sigh of relief, and Hyunjin pulls you into a hug, beaming as he squeezes you- he's proud of you, you think.

His joy adds to your own, so much so that you can't help but show it. Leaning closer, standing on the tips of your toes, you kiss his cheek- a way to tell him thank you, to show him how much you like him, and to convey how happy you are with him. He blushes ever so slightly as his smile grows, a giddy feeling once again building in his stomach.

"When all this is behind us, and you're safe at the castle with me.. Can I kiss you?" he finds the courage to ask, your face flushing as you smile and nod. "I'll look forward to it," you tell him, and you raise your pinky to him, intending for it to be a promise. With a soft chuckle, he interlocks his pinky with yours, happily solidifying the promise.

"This way," he tells you shortly after, separating your pinkies to take your hand in his, and lead you to where the carriage awaits him down the dirt road, and away from the manor. You take a final glance back at it as you walk with him, whisper goodbyes to all the things you'll miss, to your father most of all.

As the carriage comes into sight, it really sets in how real all of this is- how with this night, your life will become completely different. You wonder how everyone will react when your maids enter your room in the morning and find that you aren't there- part of you is sad you can't bid them goodbye personally, but you hope they'll be happy for you and wish you well.

You hear the coachman call to Hyunjin's attendant as you step closer, informing him with surprise in his voice that he is back earlier than expected- and with you. His attendant, who you know as Chris, and have heard many stories about, steps out of the carriage with an almost bewildered expression. He certainly wasn't expecting this to happen tonight.

Hand in hand, Hyunjin continues to lead you up to the now open door of the carriage, with Chris standing next to it. "Are you..?" he asks tentatively as he looks between you both. Together, romantically, you infer him to mean. "We'll discuss it later," Hyunjin says, turning to offer you his usual warm, reassuring smile before he looks back to his attendant, "for now, I'd like you to formally meet the future princess."

Living in the royal castle is something you never would've believed would ever happen to you, and it became your reality in the strangest of ways. To think that a beautiful man came to your window in the night, that said beautiful man wanted to marry you, and was the prince of the realm of all things.. It was confounding how you ended up here.

There's part of you, that even having known the truth for months, still can't seem to wrap your head around Hyunjin being the prince. You suppose it comes down to knowing something and seeing something being entirely different- because though you knew, you never, until now, saw him in his element, so to speak.

Watching him interact with the world behind your small scope was as enlightening as it was affirming; you saw a new side of him, but it was a side that was still firmly Hyunjin. He was eloquent but opinionated in royal discussions, he was kind and grateful to his workers, he was stern when something needed done, but never cruel or overly demanding- again, all you could think was that he’s perfect.

Was Hyunjin getting ahead of himself when he introduced you to his attendant as the future princess? Maybe. But though you haven't said it aloud, you think you fell for him harder since coming to the castle; and being the princess, while a stressful endeavor that requires you to intensively study politics and speech, will be worth it to stay by his side.

The parts of Hyunjin you've come to love the most are the parts you realized are reserved only for very few to see- the part that is wittier than political discussions will allow, who is secretly a bit dramatic when things don’t go his way, a hopeless romantic who clings to the ideals of literature.

And further beyond even that, are the parts of Hyunjin that are for you, and you alone; where natural charisma melts away into bashful sincerity. Whose soft, affectionately spoken words are said with an equal mix of earnesty and boyish timidity. Whose graceful confidence is intermixed with the subtle complexities of shyness and the seeking of your approval.

All these aspects combined are what make him so special to you, and you will be forever grateful that after all the suffering you’ve endured, you are allowed to love someone as good as him, and are loved by him in return. And thanks to his help, not only do you live a life you could have only ever dreamed of, but are adjusting quite well to that new life.

Some things are the same, such as having kind maids who helped you settle and attended to your needs, but then there were things that were entirely different from the life you lived before. You have your own attendant now- a sweet boy that Christopher vouched for named Felix, who Hyunjin affirmed you would be able to trust with your life, as he does with his own attendant. And truly, Felix did quickly become someone you felt like you could rely on and trust; oftentimes, he feels more like a best friend than a royal attendant.

Though he makes sure you stay on top of your studies, and fulfill all tasks you need to have done, you can also easily spend hours giggling away about various things- like how Chris is so serious but also a secret softie underneath, about your relationship with Hyunjin, about Felix’s secret crush that he hopes to confess to after preparations for your wedding to Hyunjin are concluded.

It’ll still be some time before that day comes, as apparently the king is sparing no effort in making it an extravagant event to remember- his only son is being wed, after all; it’s worth the kingdom celebrating to the fullest extent possible. You try not to think about the life you left behind, but you often wonder if your step-mother and sisters have connected the dots between your disappearance from the manor, and the announcement of the prince’s wedding.

If not, she’s certain to realize once the day has arrived; because all reputable families of the kingdom are invited, and she never turns down a royal invitation. The offer to rescind their invitations came up, of course, but you declined- because there’s a part of you that sincerely wants this to strike your step-mother in the core of who she is, and make her reflect on herself. And if it doesn’t, well.. You’ll find some satisfaction in seeing her appalled and infuriated that you’re thriving despite her meddling in your life.

Currently, you and Hyunjin still reside in separate rooms because unwed couples sharing a bed before marriage is deemed inappropriate- not that either of you care; it doesn't stop Hyunjin from sneaking to your room at night, in much the same way he did when you lived back in your father's manor. Sneaking across balconies, quietly climbing over each and every banister until he reaches your room- it's a far cry from the "proper" way a prince is expected to behave, but when it comes to the whims of his heart, he pays no mind to such expectations.

What was once a knock at your window is now a careful tap to the glass of your balcony door, where Hyunjin stands and waits with a shy grin for you to greet him. You never lock the doors, as you're sure he knows- but regardless, he always waits for you to come and let him in yourself. It's just the same tonight- he softly knocks and waits, smiling when he sees you rise from your bed to come to the doors.

"My darling," he greets you sweetly when you open the door, taking your hand and kissing just above the knuckle as he bows to you. You've experienced the greeting what feels like a hundred times over at this point, but it never fails to raise goosebumps on your skin; especially when he looks up at you and smiles before he straightens his back and stands tall once more.

Instead of inviting him inside, you step past the door to stand on the balcony with him, the cool breeze refreshing after having dealt with the heat of the late summer sun prior. He wraps you in his arms, wasting no time in tilting his head down to capture your lips in a soft kiss. His lips on your always fill you with just as many butterflies as the first time, his hands finding their way to your waist causing you to shiver.

"I've missed you," he breathes against your lips before he kisses you again, and you hum as you return the kiss, wordlessly agreeing with the sentiment. Preparing for the wedding makes you both incredibly busy these days, from dress fittings to studying in your case, and readying to ascend the throne in Hyunjin's.

With hardly any free time to yourselves, this is how Hyunjin ensures he gets the chance to spend at least some time with you. Sneaking over to your room, no matter how exhausted the day has made him, because now that you're in the castle with him, he can't go a single night without seeing you, feeling you, at least just once.

And normally, he would follow such a kiss with conversation- ask about your day, what you did and how you're feeling, what preparations for the wedding were done today, etcetera. But for whatever reason, right now he just wants to keep kissing you, over and over again, for as long as you'll allow him.

Maybe it’s because the last few nights he hardly got to see you for more than a few moments, leading to greater longing. Maybe it’s because the wedding looming closer makes the reality that you’re together feel so much more real- you’re his, and he’s yours, and there’s so much beauty in being in love, in promising that you’ll remain together no matter the years that pass or challenges that come.

Your arms wrap around his neck, your body pressing closer into his, and it’s almost criminal how much that simple of an action makes his head spin. You’re a clingy lover- not that Hyunjin minds by any means; he loves it, in fact. He loves feeling wanted and desired by you, and the way you crave and seek out his touch; the problem, so to speak, is the way his body reacts to your close proximity. It’s.. an indecent reaction- one that he has to do his best to contain, lest he do something improper and act gracelessly.

Still, you tempt him- with doe-eyed looks, pouting lips and gentle caresses to bare skin. He desires you, wants to lay your bare and look upon every inch of your body, to feel you naked beneath his fingertips- but he can’t, not yet. And so instead, he has to make a conscious effort to not linger on such thoughts, to swallow them down until the time is right. But the more time he spends with you, the more difficult a task it becomes; and now, after having gone a handful of days not being able to see him for more than a few passing moments, you cling to him more than usual, making the need inside him impossible to ignore.

You drive him utterly crazy with a simple touch- and he wonders how much of it is a conscious decision, and how much is executed simply by instinct. Do you realize just how deeply you affect him, or do you act purely on what feels good and right to you? Maybe it’s an equal mix of both- enjoying the effect you have on him, but also thriving in the euphoria that touching him makes you feel.

You haven’t gone much further past passionate kissing and idle, yet purposeful, groping of each other’s bodies, as Hyunjin tries his best to be proper and “follow the rules”- in which having intimate relations whilst unwed is wildly improper, and against everything he’s ever been taught. But when the wind blows your robe partly open, and he sees nothing underneath but your soft white lingerie, he can’t help but recall that such rules have always been pointless to him.

Hyunjin has always followed his heart before considering consequences and what is "right." So, if you're in love, if you want each other more than words, if you know you're going to be wed soon anyways, why should he hold off from following what his heart desires? Nothing about your relationship with one another has ever been conventionally proper, nor followed pre-established rules and notions, so why hold himself to such things now?

Do you think and feel the same as him? He suspects you do, but tonight he intends to find out for sure instead of wasting any further time questioning the depth of your intent, and considering conventional rules above his feelings. His hands squeeze your waist as he turns you both around, pressing your backside against the sturdy balcony banister, the sound of surprise that leaves you muffled by his lips that have still yet to part from yours.

"I want you," he says after pulling away from your lips, though still close enough for you to feel his breath directly on your skin, "more than I fear is allowed." There’s a fear there- that the depth of his longing is entirely one-sided, that the way in which he craves you goes unrequited, that the longing you feel doesn’t go past its current boundary.

Hyunjin rests his forehead against yours, eyes staring straight into yours in a way that makes you feel equal parts vulnerable and warm. "Do you want me too?" he asks carefully, setting aside his nerves and uncertainty, his hands trailing over where the wind tousled your robe and exposed your shoulder.

"Say no, and I'll stop right now. We'll move on as if this never happened until you're ready to discuss it," he continues, hand pausing where the strap of your bra lies, uncovered thanks to your partially fallen robe, "but I need to know- if I am allowed to want you as badly as I do, and if you return these feelings." He watches your reaction attentively, unconsciously holding your breath as he waits for a hopefully favorable response.

You swallow, heart nearly beating out of your chest as you open your mouth to speak, and you're certain that Hyunjin can feel the goosebumps rising on your skin- goosebumps that exist solely because of him, and not at all from the late night chill. "I want you too," you respond, and you can see the way relief and excitement wash over him. A million promises and "thank you"'s linger on his lips, but instead of speaking them aloud, he pours them into his kiss, letting his body do the talking for him.

His hand travels away from your shoulder, down towards your waist, where your robe is held together with a loosely tied ribbon. The anticipation makes you shiver, and when you feel the knot come undone, you pull away to allow him the chance to look at you. It's utterly nerve wracking being this exposed, and you don't feel the least bit confident in yourself- but at the same time, you know how much Hyunjin reveres you, and so you want him to look.

While it's still a struggle to believe all that he sees in you, you know this is something he'll sincerely love. From the very moment your touches started to become more intimate he has craved this sight of you, and you grant him the opportunity to stare as much as he wishes to. You leave him breathless for a moment, and for quite possibly the first time, you watch in real time as something shifts inside of him.

The look in his eyes changes, first from awe as he unconsciously sucked in a breath, to utmost, almost overwhelming desire. He takes you in his arms and lifts you up, and you instinctively cling to him with a surprised squeak. His hands hold you up from under your thighs, and you wrap your legs around him while tightly holding his arms. He places you on the thick banister, and you shiver when the cold iron makes contact with your skin through the thin material of the robe you’re wearing.

He kisses you with fervor, his tongue sliding past your now parted lips. Comfortable with your position and Hyunjin’s strong hold on you, you move your hands from his arms to his face, holding it as you invite his tongue further inside your mouth. One of his hands continues to support you and hold you close to his body, while the other slips your robe further down, until it falls down your arms and pools at your elbows.

Another breeze rolls by, and you shiver once more, this time fully feeling the chill. Your thin, almost sheer lingerie does nothing to hide how hard your nipples have gotten, allowing Hyunjin to see them clearly when he pulls away from your kiss and glances down. He licks his lips as he stares at them, lets his free hand move away from your legs and up to your chest, palming one of your breasts over the thin fabric of your bra.

You gasp when his fingers brush your nipple over the fabric, and Hyunjin drinks in the way your body reacts to the near overwhelming sensation his fingers grant you. Your hands fall back to his shoulders, gripping them tightly as your body squirms. "Does it feel good?" he asks, this time watching your face as he rolls your nipples between his fingers, attentively watching the way your face changes.

Biting your lip and closing your eyes as you nod, your legs instinctively try to close together but are unable to due to his place between them. The soft, near whiny gasps you let out are intoxicatingly sweet, a sound Hyunjin could easily imagine himself becoming addicted to. He kisses you again, lingering on your lips and briefly muffling your whines before he trails down your jaw and to your neck, where he places wet, open mouthed kisses.

His touch makes you hot- so much so that the cool breeze no longer affects you the way it had moments prior, your shuddering coming solely from the way he's making you feel. He slips a hand inside your bra, touching your nipple directly now, the pad of his thumb rubbing over it in rhythmic strokes. He can feel your thighs tremble and squeeze him, still desperately trying to close together, driven by the innate need to seek friction.

You don’t outright say you need more, but your body does more than enough to tell him- and so Hyunjin dips his hand further down, slowly traveling between your bodies, over your stomach until it reaches its destination between your legs. He doesn’t know what to do, really- but he’s nothing if not a romantic at heart, and he lets that guide him onward. Following the romantic fantasies that often played in his head, he brings his lips back to yours, sensually kissing you as he rubs your heat over your panties.

It's so wet- much more than he ever could've anticipated. The fabric, that was already so thin and nearly sheer to begin with, has become almost entirely see through and now sticks to you uncomfortably (though Hyunjin’s hand is proving to be a perfect distraction from the discomfort.) His own fingers become slick even without direct contact, and it excites him as much as it drives his curiosity. What do you taste like? Is it okay for him to find out, or is that too far?

He wants to know, desperately wants to know- “Can I taste you, please?” he asks in a soft, pleading tone; it’s okay if you say no, he’d never question your limits, but fuck, he really wants it. You let out a breathy, eager “yes,” to which he responds with the most breathtaking smile. You watch with bated breath as he begins to trail kisses down your torso, leaving a few lingering touches to your nipples and stomach on his way down.

Hyunjin helps you slide off the banister, hands securely on your hips and guiding you forward, closer to him. He completely kneels down in front of you, presses soft kisses to your inner thighs as he guides one of your legs to rest over his shoulder. You lean back against the banister, your hands holding it for support while his hands rub over the back of your thighs and to your ass. He holds you there, occasionally squeezing, and you can feel him smile against the meat of your thighs when it causes you to squirm in his hold.

You watch his tongue dart out from between his lips, wetting them before he finally brings his face closer to your center, giving you a curious kitten lick over your panties. That alone is enough to make you jolt, and he squeezes you a bit tighter in response, trying to help you stay still while he explores the newly accessible parts of your body.

He can’t think of a single thing he could compare your taste to, but he loves it, an involuntary noise of pleasure rising from his throat. He quickly grows dissatisfied with small, careful licks- he needs more of you on his tongue, needs to taste you directly. But rather than separating from you and wasting precious time getting your panties off you, he decides it's a better idea to simply pull them to the side.

Your balance falters for a moment when he moves his hand away from your behind to shift your panties out of his way, but he’s quick to bring it back and continue to hold you once his tongue has once again met your core. Your grip on the railing tightens, head falling back and eyes fluttering closed as you let out a low moan. You never expected to be experiencing your first time with something like this outside, on your new balcony of all places, but you can't deny that it excites you.

It's fun, exhilarating, almost freeing- something that would've forever eluded you had you not met Hyunjin, and fallen in love with him. And oh, you’ve never felt anything as good as his tongue between your folds. You divert your gaze back down, mesmerized by the sight of him between your quivering thighs, and he too is mesmerized- by your taste, by the way you drip on his tongue, by the way you gasp and cry out when his tongue finds your clit.

He alternates between swirling his tongue around it, and giving you long, flat licks, both of which drive you crazy with need for more. You try your best to not let your noises get past a certain volume, teeth digging into your bottom lip almost painfully, hands desperately clutching at the banister as your body involuntarily trembles. It doesn't take long for Hyunjin to find the pattern you like, what motions cause you to cry the loudest despite your desperate attempts to contain yourself.

Your stomach rapidly tenses and contracts, your moans quickly turning into high-pitched whines as you’re driven closer and closer to release. You’re dizzy, mind practically floating with immense pleasure, your hips unconsciously rolling into his face as you seek sweet, blinding relief. Hyunjin’s cock throbs painfully in his trousers, straining against the fabric that has now grown tight around him, but he ignores it, completely focused on you.

He looks up at you from between your legs, watches the rapid rise and fall of your chest as you take desperate, panting breaths, sweating clinging to you in an ethereal sheen. You take one of your hands off the banister, instead burying your fingers into Hyunjin’s long hair. He groans against you, unexpectedly enjoying the way you slightly tug on the loose strands.

The feeling in the pit of your stomach grows in intensity, your eyes rolling back as he flattens his tongue and lets you grind against it as you please. You let go of his hair when you feel your orgasm start to peak to clamp your hand over your mouth, wanting to avoid waking the entirety of the castle with your moans if you can help it.

He squeezes you once more, does his best to hold you upright as you lose yourself to the feeling. It feels so good you almost can’t breathe, the tingling that starts in your spine spreading throughout your entire body, as mind numbingly euphoric as it is overwhelming. He doesn’t separate from you until he feels your thighs relax and legs go limp, carefully removing your leg from its perch on his shoulder, holding you steady as he rises back up to his feet.

It takes you a moment to return your senses, only just barely registering Hyunjin talking to you as you blink away the fog of pleasure muddling your brain. He’s asking things like if you’re okay and if it felt good, grinning when you nod and answer him with meek affirmations. When he kisses you, you can taste yourself on him, and it somehow adds to just how amazing you feel.

It’s in that moment, where he’s stroking your cheek while kissing you, tongue exploring your mouth and sharing the taste of your release with you, that you decide you want to return the favor. Mirroring what he’s done to you, you let your hands wander his body until they meet the waistband of his trousers, where you slowly undo the buttons. His breath hitches when you sink to your knees, anticipation rising in tandem with his nerves.

Will you like what you see? It’s not something he’s ever worried about before, but now he finds himself awaiting your reaction anxiously. Wanting to spare him the late night chill, you don’t pull his trousers and underwear all the way down, instead just pulling down enough for his cock to spring free of its confines. And, wow- it’s much longer than you expected, as well as mouth-wateringly pretty, the vein running along the length utterly entrancing to you.

Pre-cum leaks steadily from the tip, and you curiously stick out your tongue to taste it as you wrap your hand around the base of his cock. He hisses and softly gasps, twitching and throbbing in your hand that is so much softer than his own. You quickly move on from small, careful and curious licks to swirling your tongue around the tip, sometimes stopping the movement of your tongue to press wet kisses to it.

His pre-cum smears over the tip and all over your lips thanks to your kisses, and it’s easily the most erotic thing he’s ever had the pleasure of seeing. And God, when you look up at him through your lashes as you kiss him, your pretty lips wet and glistening because of his release- he has to make conscious effort to not let out a visceral groan.

After a few more soft, wet kiss, you open your mouth and flatten your tongue, leaning forward on your knees, using your hand to guide his cock into your eager mouth. His body shudders as he groans, the more you take of him into your mouth, the more he struggles to restrain himself. Hyunjin leans forward, grabs the banister for support while he watches you try to work him in past your limits- taking him in until you gag, retreating just long enough to recover before resuming, trying to take him further than last time with each attempt.

Tears prick the corners of your mouth, threatening to fall with each additional inch taken down your throat, but you refuse to concede. He brought you such unimaginable bliss- and you’ll do anything to make him feel the same. Just as Hyunjin had done, you proceed purely on instinct, staring up at him as you finally succeed in taking his entire length into your mouth. And fuck, the sight of you- how is he supposed to retain composure after seeing you like this?

Grip on the railing tightening, his eyes roll back when you start bobbing your head along his length, the sound of his cock sliding back and forth in your mouth creating impossibly salacious wet sounds. Saliva drips from the corners of your mouth, down to your chest and thighs, but you continue on, paying no mind to the mess you're making on yourself.

For the first time, you hear Hyunjin speak with an utter loss of composure- no smooth charisma, no eloquently crafted line of dialogue; just pure, pleasured rambling. "Darling, I can't- feels so good, I-" he cuts himself off with a curse, biting his lip as he feels you caress his throbbing vein with your tongue. He’s never felt so good before, and he’s so close- but what is he supposed to do? Release in your mouth? Is that even okay?

He intends to ask, opening his eyes to look at you as he does, but oh- the sight of you instantly causes the words to die in his throat, the sight of you paired with pleasure he feels is just too much for him. He cums with a moan, loud and pretty, his cum gagging you as it shoots straight down your throat. You pull away seconds later, releasing him from your mouth with a pop, swallowing the cum that lingers on the back of your tongue as you wipe your lips clean with the back of your hand. You look up at him next, taking in the sight of your normally elegant lover looking so debauched. He’s breathless and utterly disheveled, but still so impossibly perfect.

Hyunjin helps you to your feet after he’s collected himself, pulling you into an emotionally charged, sensual kiss; lips parted, tongue seeking yours. He lifts you up once more, deciding that both of you have spent more than enough time on the balcony, continuing to kiss you even as he carries you inside your bedroom. It makes the walk more precarious, but neither of you care, absorbed in one another as you are. And maybe you should feel some amount of shame for having pleasured one another in such an open space, but it’s the furthest thing from your minds.

All that matters is Hyunjin; how he makes you feel, and how you make him feel. Lying you on your bed as gently as he can manage, he finds his place between your legs as you fall to your back. His hands find the waistband of your panties, and you lift your hips to help him slide them off your body. Your robe is the next thing to be removed in your flurry of impassioned kisses, followed by your bra, and all of Hyunjin’s clothes.

“Love you so much, my darling,” he breathes against your skin between his kisses to your lips, hands roaming your body, “want to be inside you.” You pull away enough to see him clearly, your eyes finding his even in the dark of your room. “I want it to,” you admit softly, heat rising to your face, “I love you, Hyunjin.” He smiles, brief and timid, before he kisses you again, slipping one of his hands between your thighs to feel your heat with his fingers.

He rubs his fingers between your folds, and you let out a shuddering breath, body trembling with anticipation. You’re still so wet, and Hyunjin can’t help but involuntarily groan when he imagines what you’ll feel like wrapped around his cock. He takes his cock in his hand, smears your essence along it to get it wet, glancing up at you after he aligns himself with your hole. You look apprehensive, and he’s immediately worried you’ve changed your mind and want him to stop-

But when he offers, you quickly shake your head. You’re nervous, that much is true, but you want this- everything you experience with Hyunjin is new and beautiful, and you’re certain this will be too. And every time you’ve been hesitant, or scared, or anxious, he was there for you; he held you and listened to you and helped you find not only the courage to be where you are now, but your self-worth too. You love him, you trust him- and what better way to show him the depth of your love and trust, than to offer yourself to him, body and soul.

With one last affectionate kiss, a softly spoken promise to always take care of you, he begins to slowly push inside you. You both gasp, sensitive from your prior orgasms, the effect profound even before he’s all the way inside. There’s a slight discomfort at first that quickly gives way to tingly pleasure across your body, the sensation effectively stealing the breath from your lungs. Hyunjin clenches his jaw, breath growing more labored, his cock twitching and throbbing inside you even when his body is completely still.

He leans back down to you once your hips are flush together, wraps his arms around you, pressing your body against his. You wrap your arms around his neck, while he holds you under your shoulders, kissing you as he experimentally rolls his hips into yours. Each roll of his hips is slow and purposeful, as is each kiss you share. You understand now, why sex is often referred to as making love- because there can truly be no other way to describe the moment you share, and the feelings that come with it.

When he pulls away and looks down at you, his heart races even faster; you’re so pretty, beautiful- with your hair fanned out around you, the moon shining through your balcony doors highlighting the sheen of sweat in the most ethereal way. All he can think about is how much he loves you, how lucky he is to have you, how good you are to him. You’re perfect, utterly perfect in every conceivable way- and he knows you’d say just the same about him, would still find new ways to compliment him once you ran out of words.

Despite the languid pace, it doesn’t take long for Hyunjin to feel close again- he’s already cum once, and the sensitivity he feels from it in combination with the way your walls squeeze him is impossibly overwhelming. He squeezes you closer, his chest pressed against yours, his face burying its way into your neck. You can tell how close he is, from the way he twitches and throbs inside you, to the way he gasps and moans close to your ear.

Wanting to cum again with him, you move your dominant hand between your bodies, finding your clit with your fingers. When Hyunjin feels what you’re doing, he separates from you enough to watch, looking between your bodies to watch the way your fingers move. Your walls start to squeeze him tighter as you work yourself close to your release, and he can’t help but groan, hips picking up speed as he chases his orgasm with you.

Your noises grow louder once he picks up his pace, and you’re sure the guards outside your room have realized what’s happening- but neither of you can bring yourselves to care about containing yourselves anymore. You cum in tandem with one another- Hyunjin first, a strained groan of your name passing his lips as his cum shoots deep inside you, the feeling of it sending you over the edge with him.

Both of you are breathless and hot, with hearts thumping the hardest they ever have, but he kisses you regardless, paying no mind to his desperate need to catch his breath. He brings one of his hands to your face, caresses it as he kisses you, and still after he pulls away. He looks at you with such pure affection, soft admissions of love and tender care softly spoken for only you to hear.

Even after he carefully pulls out, he sticks close to your side, holding you close in his arms, refusing to leave you to go back to his own room. This is his place now- with you, listening to your soft breaths and stroking your head as sleep begins to take you. His own eyes quickly grow heavy, your warmth inviting, and he knows he’ll soon fall asleep with you. He whispers his affections, his love for you and how happy he is, knowing that this night is just one of many perfect nights you’ll continue to share in the future.

network tags: @skzstarnet @ksmutsociety

#ksmutsociety #skzstarnet #skz x reader #hyunjin x reader #skz smut #hyunjin smut #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz fanfic #mdni + divider graphic credit: @cafekitsune

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sir-adamus · 5 months ago

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RWBY takes its inspirations from a lot of places

it's no secret that RWBY wears its influences on its sleeves - it's characters are all based on fairytales/myths/legends/memes and is a series created by someone who wanted to make his own anime. and while it does make a lot of nods to specific things (and is dogged on for that by some people despite that it isn't new or even exclusive to RWBY - see the episode of AtLA where Aang dreams about being Goku and Naruto), the show itself draws or seems to draw so many elements from so many different sources and arranges them into something new

putting the rest below a cut because it got lengthy

like i think i've seen the claim that Remnant's four Kingdoms are a ripoff of AtLA's four Nations... except the Kingdoms aren't elementally themed and these places are so important because most of the planet is uninhabitable, which isn't the case with AtLA, and each Kingdom has thoroughly different theming that it's barely similar. it's such a surface thing that it's barely a nod because the world setups are so wildly different

Dust is clearly inspired by Materia from FFVII (or more broadly, Magicite, which recurs through the FF series and has a similar function); a resource mined from the earth that allows the wielder to do magic (though Dust is more limited in its function where materia/magicite can allow for non-elemental and abstract stuff like time-stopping or summoning). the four Academies are almost definitely a reference to the three Gardens in FFVIII (and one of them, Balamb Garden, is where teenagers are trained to become SeeD, a mercenary force for hire that conducts missions around the world, which likely was one of the points of inspiration behind the Huntress/Huntsman career in RWBY)

Aura, being a personal protective shield, both visually and purpose-wise, is a reference to the personal energy shields used by the Sangheili in Halo

the Maidens seem to be a cross between the Sorceresses from FFVIII (who unlike normal people can do magic naturally, and each Sorceress passes on her power to another individual upon her death) and the rule basis for the Sirens from Borderlands (only 6 Sirens can exist at a time and their powers transfer to another individual upon their death, similar to how there can only be 4 Maidens at a time) - Sorceresses, Sirens and Maidens powers can also only be exclusively passed on to women (Troy Calypso in Borderlands 3 has partial-Siren because he was conjoined with his twin sister Tyreen in the womb, and has to leech off of her in order to survive; it's made clear both by the appearance of his Siren tattoos that he's an aberration to the normal process)

Grimm are so obviously inspired by the Heartless from Kingdom Hearts - dark beasts of destruction that are defined by their lack of something (the difference of course being that Heartless come from the nebulous 'realm of darkness' which is separate from the other worlds while Grimm are very much a part of Remnant). Kingdom Hearts has a lot of influence thematically, as it similarly presents itself as a bright and cheery story with a lighthearted, stylised aesthetic, only for that to be an artificial facade for a very dark and often brutal story that becomes more obvious as each series continues. and in terms of specific Grimm, the Apathy (and the Brunswick farm story in general) are a direct reference to the short story Bartleby the Scrivener, but the Apathy's emaciated, skeletal appearance and paralytic scream draw from the ReDeads of the Legend of Zelda series

the Faunus being part animal could be inspired from any number of different shows or games, but in the BlazBlue series, demihumans (who are also part animal) are also noted to face discrimination (though the series doesn't touch on it much by nature of being a fighting game)

in terms of characters, Ruby is obviously Red Riding Hood, but she wields a scythe like Maka from Soul Eater, was initially presented as a completely silent, gun-wielding protagonist in a high octane fight similarly to Black Rock Shooter (the 2012 show also served as an influence on RWBY's animation style, and BRS's flaming blue eye is similar to the Maidens), and her bladed weapon also being a gun brings to mind Squall's Gunblade from FFVIII. plus, positioned as the protagonist and falling into the leadership role and it continuing to weigh down on her is something she has in common with Sora from KH

additionally, the visuals for Ruby's Semblance are inspired by something similar Vincent Valentine does in the FFVII Advent Children movie, with the addition of rose petals (which may be inspired by a similar thing the protagonist of FFXIII, Lightning, has)

Yang is Goldilocks, her design evokes Tifa from FFVII (and her characterisation not being what you'd expect based on the initial impression of her design also borrows from Tifa), her original theme outright compares her to a Super Saiyan from Dragon Ball with her glowing, flaming hair when she powers up with her Semblance evoking the aesthetic appearance of the form (and her 'gets stronger every time she takes a hit' is essentially a temporary, low-level zenkai boost from that series; 'get stronger every time you almost die'). in fact, character-wise, her losing an arm and being characterised as fairly thoughtful and introspective, you could make an argument that she's meant to parallel Future Gohan specifically. however, losing an arm, growing up in the woods and having to care for her younger sibling when they were young also could be a reference to Ragna from BlazBlue (and to boot, Yang's weapon is named Ember Celica, Ragna's parental substitute was Celica A Mercury), and additionally, Nine the Phantom from the same series (Celica's doting older sister) also has heavy fire theming, meaning she could serve as another point of inspiration

finally, Yang may also be partly inspired by Nero from Devil May Cry. while it wasn't explicitly confirmed until DMC5, when Nero was introduced in 4, he is highly implied to be the nephew of series protagonist and demon hunter Dante (who typically wields a greatword) and the son of Dante's twin brother, Vergil (who wields a katana that he can open portals with). Nero's design from jump is asymmetrical, with one of his arms being demonic. asymmetry is a theme for Yang from her trailer (and culminates with her losing one of her arms), her uncle Qrow wields a greatsword and her mother, Raven, Qrow's twin, wields a katana and opens portals with them (that Nero then gained a mechanical prosthetic arm in DMC5 is a hilarious coincidence)

Ozpin, Headmaster of Beacon is obviously the Wizard of Oz (his name comes from the acronym of the Wizard of Oz's actual name, Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmanuel Ambroise Diggs - OZPINHEAD), but he also draws from Cid Kramer from FFVIII (being the headmaster of Balamb Garden), as well as Gandalf in putting his faith in a 'smaller soul' (and his manipulative bs is clearly meant to analog to the guy from the bad wizard books, except in rwby it's clearly meant to be a bad thing that has actual consequences, and no more needs to be said about it)

Ironwood is clearly the Tin Woodsman as his main inspiration, a man who (thanks to a cursed axe) kept hacking off parts of his body and getting them replaced with metal until even his heart was gone (and at no point did he consider putting down the axe) - with the key point that he's a subversion of the Woodsman's story. but his descent could be inspired by Walker's descent in Spec Ops The Line (as it would've been in the public zeitgeist when Monty, Kerry and Miles were developing the show and writing these characters, and the game had been played on Achievement Hunter around that time), or from Heart of Darkness and Apocalypse Now, which inspired that game. his willingness to go to extreme and appalling lengths to achieve his goals may also be drawing from Director Leonard Church, from RT's first show Red vs Blue, who has the quote: "Have you forgotten sir, we were at war? A fight with an alien race for the very survival of our species. I feel I must remind you that it is an undeniable, and may I say fundamental quality of man, that when faced with extinction, every alternative is preferable." which feels very in line with Ironwood's willingness to compromise every moral and sacrifice whatever and whoever he thinks he needs to to win

Penny's fairytale inspiration is obviously Pinocchio but her robotic nature and relationship with a caring father also brings to mind Astro Boy and Mega Man, while her combat style is directly inspired by the Prime Field Devices of BlazBlue, who also fight with a floating array of many swords

the structure of the show honestly feels like a JRPG too - with the first few volumes being the lighthearted prologue where characters and concepts are introduced to ease you into the world, there's some hints to a wider world and a bigger story but there's very little sense that the protagonists are in real danger

until they are, and things go catastrophically wrong in a major way that shakes up the plot, throws the characters out into the world and gives them the main goal they're now striving toward (stopping Salem, in this case), with personal narratives developing in tandem with plot progressions that shake up how the audience and the characters see the world and reveal things to be more complex as things go on

you could literally go on forever; and it's not so much 'taking these disparate puzzle pieces and making a collage' so much as it is laying out the bones and building up something new on top of them through the way these bones intersect and interact in new contexts. RWBY isn't ashamed of its influences while still standing as its own story to tell

#RWBY

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thingsidrawgohere · 19 hours ago

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I just finished my first run of DA4 and let me say- I probably got my money's worth. If one wants to view the experience via a purely mercantile lens. I found many bits of cheese and touched the insides of many angry creatures. But if one wishes to frame the thing as Art- Hell, if one wants to solely discuss it as the Fourth in a series of lore-dense, narrative RPGs, then, Cousin, We've Got Problems. Three interconnected niggling ideas that kinda all lead to the conclusion- for me, at least- that modern design practices simply do not trust the player. News flash, right?

Anyways, I think I'm going to have some thoughts on this subject to avoid other thoughts, thank you.

Full-Throated Spoilers Beyond. And a lot of them. It's long.

Idea 1: DA2 is my favorite of the series. That's not the problem; it's the setup. I know what I'm about and it's interesting characters interacting over time. Flawed characters. Abrasive, opinionated, STUPID ASS ANDERS characters. The story was scaled well for a handful of total losers and it was political. The most humanly political of all the games, I think. That's a very low bar, particularly for AAA, but it felt better to stand in a street, to be personally effected by events, than to look at a literal map of icons and notes and distant decisions as in DA3. It's important, I think, for DA to be about Being, Getting Dirty. You aren't a king. You shouldn't be.

Side Note 1: DA2 is a fucking miracle. The old gag that FO New Vegas, blessed be, was made in 18 months is trotted out to display Can-Do Attitude and DEEPLY unethical labor practices. DA2 got less time, fewer reusable assets (due to a different art style), and had to rebuild most of the engine. A. Miracle.

DA4, on the other hand, has a series of supportive, well-adapted people who have all worked very hard on themselves in therapy and know all the fucking right words to say. They chat with one another with kindness and sober fondness. In the One Instance of interpersonal friction, it is resolved with grace and speed. I find this Horrid. They fucking forgot to give these people negative traits. It's likability slurry. They experience no hard growth, hold no horseshit ideas, suffer no lingering doubts. It's not only unnatural but it's lifeless. It becomes Written. I can see the fucking author waving at me. I've got a note from my run that reads 'Rook told the man who is forcibly living inside his head "Thank you sharing that" and I want to scream.'

And that would be bad enough except the ideas are there. You've got a reluctant father story. Someone trapped between two cultures. A older man, already terrified of aging, of death, taking a Much Younger lover. That's Fucking Meat. I can see the writers straining against something but what they deliver is still person-shaped missed opportunities that repeat, that repeat, that repeat. It's So Frustrating. There's flashes of Good Writing. Of good character beats. But Also- from my notes, a character had just held her brother as he died, inexplicably for a second time, and Rook gives her a little pep talk that ends with him asking "You good?"

And the fucking woman says "I'm good" in response. She seemed to mean it.

How does one- react to that as a viewer? I told a man who wanted to be a lich more than anything to Not and he was cool with it. He never brought up being a lich again. He wasn't even upset. I let a man's city die and he's like I Get It, Bro. No Harsh Vibes. It rings hollow.

Talking over Solas' memories, collectively pulling out the meaning behind them- that was some of the best characters-interacting writing in the whole thing. And it's HOURS into the game. A shame.

Side Note 2: A lot of a loved-one death as motivation in this old refrigerator. If you get a name and one line, Oh Boy Brother, you are prolly gonna die bad. Lazy.

If I'm going to talk about Emmrich, let's talk about his romance. I honestly thought it was bugged. I Am playing through another run as a comparative but Wow. Larian and BG3 absolutely reconfigured what's acceptable in these types of story beats. This particular romance felt regressive, in a sense. Like a last minute addition. The very definition of love coins. No charisma or honest affection between the characters. Nothing allowed to percolate (more on that in a second). Just- now you are ROMANCED. Which means on the Blue Moon instance he has anything to say regarding being in a relationship, the best you can get is a 'dearest' at the end of a sentence. I was Excited by the idea of Emmrich really struggling with a May/December situation but he Doesn't. He has a few lines implying that he Could but it leads nowhere.

And they fuck in a coffin (???) and it's not even hot (!!!). Unforgivable. Double Unforgivable. I heard there was spice in this game? This is baking soda.

Related, a few lines awkwardly dodged the question of Emmrich's previous relationships and I have an inkling, without experiencing the other romances, that this is the world's largest case of gun-shy after the backlash with DA3's non-playersexual romances. This man can not be confirmed to be Anything but Into Rook, whatever they might be. There was also a throwaway line with Taash how she prefers women and that's as much as I saw of explicit preferences. I don't envy anyone trying to address the rabidity of fandom but it feels like unnecessary acrobatics.

Side Oh No: It's so bad that I'm honestly thinking of doing a fixit fic regarding the romance/character writing. And God, I can't right now. I have to finish my other project first.

Idea 2: The pacing. That's what ruins so much. There was a scene of a gnarled, fucked-up gate, torn from its hinges. And my guy says "Something Big must have torn apart that gate" all ominous, building a sense of- Nope. The very big darkspawn is standing ten feet away on the other side. I hadn't even swung the camera around the hall to see it before my guy goes "That big darkspawn must have torn apart the gate!"

Yes, I know there's an issue in open world games these days wherein devs are allergic to a player's millisecond of not knowing where to go but this feels applicable across the whole game. A problem isn't allowed to fester. It is brought to attention and then swiftly dealt with. If there's a locked door, a difficult decision, a feeling beyond Protestant determination, it will be dealt with, Post Fucking Haste. It's like the game doesn't trust the player to hold tension.

This happens not just in barks or small set pieces. Whole arcs work this way. Like Harding's longterm personal quest. She gets a handful of lines about feeling vaguely angry or perhaps thinking she Should be More angry about Lore Dump Retcon and then at her culmination, she's fighting her own anger. A vicious, hot, searing thing- and it wasn't earned. At all. There was room to telegraph this theme, bury it in the dirt to let grow roots. They didn't. One Line was given about her people pleasing tendencies And she's not really shown to be people pleasing to her own detriment. This is Chekhov's Gun in running shoes. It doesn't work. It feels like it comes out of left field.

Hell, there was a mission that was like SURVIVE IF YOU CAN and it was like- literally a long hallway. The Pacing is all Off.

Idea 3: I don't like that I must do this but DA4 doesn't understand its own flavor. The One Thing you Cannot Do is have Minrathous, the city of slaves and blood mages, seem nice. Particularly in the poor parts of town. You Cannot have the Crows be a lovely dovey band of scamps. You Cannot have the Blight be reversible. You Cannot CANNOT say "elves have it pretty good" as my Elvish Rook said with his face flaps. No. NO. You Cannot side-step the politics of this setting. These are the bones on which these characters are hung. To lessen the world is to lessen, to decomplexify them.

You know what my elf didn't hear in the town that canonically trades in bodies that look his? Knife ear. Eh to fantasy slurs but my point is no one said a cross word to my guy. The Qunari living in the town that had been warring with the Qunari for Centuries seemed totes fine. There were no alienages. There were no proper templars- even from other regions. No Mage Circles. No mage issues at all. Hardly anything whatsoever regarding the Chantry or Andrastianism, even as the game takes place in the Super Anti-Pope town. I had a literal demon-possessed man in my party and the world did not react.

I had a friend describe this Thedas as feeling smoothed out and Yeah. It feels like all the nasty bumps have been deemed undesirable. I don't know what to make of it. Is this simply taking the world in a different direction? Is it a mandate to tone down the unpleasantness, for sales? A shift in design ethos? Is this a sign of a very troubled project as it was with Andromeda?

I don't know. Is this still a Dragon Age game without its politics? There's enough here for me to wonder if Bioware is even Bioware anymore. There's a TREMENDOUS amount of work, of skill in DA4. Just Absurd. The environments are thick, Thicc. But work alone is not a virtue. Have we ship of Theseus'd so far that the people- the real people, not the logos- who have interests aligned with what made DA1 special are no longer there? Something went wrong with this project, narratively. Something I don't know how to fix without addressing basement level assumptions I'm clearly not privy to. I hope they can.

Final Thoughts: Game development is a fucking hole into which one pours one's relationships, time, and health, physical, mental both. It gives satisfaction very rarely. They shipped. In that way, huge success. It's not even, fundamentally, a 'bad game'. But it is a victim of a modern philosophy of pre-chewed ideas and player distrust. VGs are ultimately a business and, in these last few years, there's been a unimaginable devastation to the workers in the industry- even as the money flows ever upward. The desire to sell well has morphed into a NEED to sell well, even among the 'kept' studios. Big studios, Grand Dame Studios sitting on top of past critical and financial successes, been killed by their overlords recently. No one is safe. It's suddenly quite dangerous for large studios to make anything remotely niche, remotely unclear and Bioware has both Andromeda And Anthem under its belt. They're probably feeling the pinch. They needed a hit and hits, these days, are increasingly smooth. And DA4 is very smooth.

That's just my feeling on the matter. I'll see what a second run yields.

Smaller thoughts:

I don't care about the combat but that was- odd. The illusion of depth with all the skill trees and types of damage and subsystems of attack- all boiling down to a one button push. It's odd. I played rogue on PC so perhaps it's different for other classes, on console. But I pressed the button at the man and when I got a halo, I pressed another button and then pressed the first button again. No matter where I was on the skill tree, it never changed, never felt different. I don't know. It felt. Odd?

There was a Honest To God "It's quiet- Too quiet" and it just Happened. I would have pulled out every one of my teeth to avoid that. I get the jokey-okey but fuck, man.

Where's the chest hair? WHERE? Body hair? ANYTHING? Davrin has plastic chest. It's freaky.

Gloom Howler Gloom Howler Gloom Howler. Frankly, that whole storyline had a large gulg of the farcical. I laughed my ass entirely off when, upon her defeat, the Gloom Howler said "I'm sorry" and took a nap so hard that the scene wiped to 'some time later'. That was insane editing. PACING. And- naming. Gloom Howler. Gloom. Howler.

Teeth. Dear God, the teeth.

The devs were in a real pickle here, no doubt. My great sympathies. There's an Overwhelming abundance of world states that DA3 could have left on the board and I understand the balancing act between acknowledging the events of older games and staying generic enough DA4 could apply to All of them. Is Cassandra the White Divine? Or is Leliana? It's a nightmare of choices. Any of the people that Could be Divine can not be mentioned without lore issues. Who's on the throne in Orlais? Ferelden? Where's beloved so-and-so? Dorian canonically did return to Minrathous so he can 'safely' appear in game- but he fucking can't talk about Iron Bull, who may or may not be alive. Isabela canonically goes back to piracy but she can't talk about events in Kirkwall because she may not have been there for them. Oof. That's not a lot you are Allowed to acknowledge. The Poor Bastards.

Watched a braid slip off a person's shoulder, organically, as they were talking. Started at the bottom and look where we're at, technologically. And speaking on the technical, a lot of textures didn't load right. For the entire game, my guy's left shoulder armour thing had a much lower rez texture than the rest. Three hard crashes, which isn't the worst. One Wonderful mission wherein Lucanis' hair and his knives were the only bits of him to render.

I'm not touching the non-binary storyline. It was clunky, for sure, but the greatest sin was using Our words. There is canonical words for NGC/NB people in fiction and to not use them shows a fundamental distrust towards the source material and the players both. It's the linguistic version of the quest marker or the barks telling you where to go.

I still don't know how I feel about the dead Varric twist. Feels goofball but he got to hang out in his little pajamas. I wish I was in little pajamas.

Solas was pretty fucking tight but I think a lot of that was due to his VA. Something about the voice direction, in general, felt- flat? But old Solas was doing it good.

Ending. God, I get it. People are tired and satisfying endings are hard. And DLC exists, more cynically. But Hells Bells, I'm getting to the point wherein even the slideshow is annoying. Give me a fucking Ending to the Choice Game. Don't you fucking 'Spider-Man Will Return' at me, you bastard. I'm a child of fucking god.

Yes, I got the secret ending. I know. That was Also bullshit.

I feel better getting that all out of my system. Thank you for sharing that.

#dragon age

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jadelotusflower · 4 months ago

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So I finally watched Andor...

...and naturally I have thoughts (hey, it’s me). Maybe they're belated, seeing as this show was released almost two years ago, but I've been on the outskirts of the Star Wars fandom for a while now. This in and of itself isn't usual - I tend to drift between my core fandoms in phases, but since TLJ the GFFA hasn't really been a pleasant place to be so I haven't really had a reason to drift back to it for any length of time.

Which isn't to say I've avoided Star Wars altogether, dipping in when something piques my interest like Obi-Wan Kenobi (which I liked aspects of but ultimately felt like just a setup to the show I actually wanted to watch), and have absorbed some of the rest through cultural osmosis. Andor is a show I've been meaning to get to for a while, although it has been praised to the point of being overhyped (and there was a whiff of Not Like Other Star Wars to the critical reception) so I was concerned it would not meet expectations.

But I was pleasantly surprised as how much this show felt spiritually and aesthetically in tune with the original trilogy, and especially A New Hope, as opposed to Disney!Star Wars. Even if the tone and content of Andor is very different, it feels in conversation with the OT in a way the rest of Disney’s output has not - building on the story we already know, rather than trying replace or rewrite it as something else.

Aesthetically, we have the 70's vibe of the set design and costuming in middle-class Coruscant, the stark white jumpsuits and surrounds of Narkina 5 evoking Lucas's early film THX-1138, even the way we are plopped right into the middle of the story with very little exposition, but still eased into the narrative is very reminiscent of the first act of A New Hope. Thematically, of course we’re seeing the Rebellion in its earlier stages - small disparate cells of seditious activity directly acting against Imperial interests that will become the somewhat ragtag but nonetheless organised and unified Alliance.

While Star Wars was a cinema pastiche throwback to Flash Gordan serials and Campbell’s hero’s journey as an antidote to the grimdark antiheroes of the 70’s, in many ways Andor brings things back full circle to the grit of neo-noir. It holds a mirror up to the OT and lets us see the other side of the coin - and the full cost of victory. So many people have to die for Cassian to make it to the Rebellion - just like Cassian himself will die for the Death Star plans to make it to Leia, like Obi-Wan will die to ensure those plans make it to the Rebellion, and squadrons of rebel pilots will die so Luke can ultimately destroy the Death Star.

A stone is dropped in a pond, and we see the ripples but the stone itself sinks.

Overall thoughts

Tony Gilroy is the showrunner here, a veteran screenwriter notable for the Bourne films, and we can certainly see this influence at work. He also wrote The Devil’s Advocate, which is by no means good but I do enjoy in all its ott mythological monologues-and-accents glory, and seminal romcom (of my childhood at least) The Cutting Edge. He also wrote and directed Michael Clayton, which I have not seen but was nominated for several Oscars, including Original Screenplay, Director, and Best Picture (Tilda Swinton won for Supporting Actress).

Of course he's also a credited screenwriter on Rogue One, and I understand his contribution was mostly to the infamous rewrites/reshoots. I desperately want to read a full breakdown/bts of what went down with that film (well all of Disney-led Lucasfilm really) and see the deleted/original material, because I am fascinated. It's also interesting to note that Gilroy took over showrunning duties from Stephen Schiff pre-production. The show does very much feel like Gilroy wanted to make his own stamp on the Andor character and use him as a vehicle in his spy-thriller/political intrigue wheelhouse.

Reading some of Gilroy’s comments around the series had made me wonder how much of Andor being reflective/referential to the OT was intentional (on his part at least), and arguably Gilroy did overwrite the character of Cassian Andor so…there’s nuance. But as a story, to me it felt in tune with what I love about Star Wars rather than at odds with it, and that's what I appreciated most.

But first things first. B2EMO made it to the end! Finally, my expectations are subverted in a good way, because I love this little droid with all my heart. There are several key elements of Star Wars to me that separate it from other sci-fi/space fantasy and that is Jedi, distinctive aliens, and sentient droids. Obviously there's no Jedi here (nor does there need to be), my issues with the lack of aliens I'll address below, but when it comes to droids B2EMO fits right in, and we can assume is a precursor to Cassian's relationship with K-2SO.

Overall I thought the show was excellent (with a few caveats). What's impressive is the sheer number of characters and plots interwoven together, every conversation servicing character, the overall theme or setting something up that will pay off later, playing with coincidence and fate (the will of the Force), the interlocking domino effect. Arvel Skeen recognising the tattoo on Cassian's arm leads to a conversation of his history, but also sets up Skeen later offering to take and split the haul with Cassian (and getting killed for it). The raid on Aldhani triggers the Empire’s harsh new measures that gets Cassian sentenced to six years in prison, but also inspires the rebellion on Ferrix (via Maarva). The Aldhani heist is a triumph for Vel, but traps Mon’s financial contributions to the Rebellion by the Empire’s crackdown on banking, leading her and her daughter into an unwanted family alliance.

I'm a big proponent of Star Wars Dialogue is Good, Actually - not saying there's not clunkers or stilted scenes (the PT moreso than the OT) but there seems to be this weird consensus that Lucas-era dialogue sucks despite being some of the most quoted/referenced movies of all time. Lucas was creating a modern myth, of course a lot of it is arch and operatic. I love the dialogue in Andor too - which rightly gets high praise, and while it's arguably tighter, in many ways it's no more naturalistic than that of the Saga with everyone constantly speaking in metaphor, it's just pitched differently because this is a different genre (and the acting is uniformly excellent because they are actually interacting with each other and being competently directed).

There’s layers of meaning in almost every scene and subtle moments of foreshadowing that I really enjoy - Karis Nemik muses on the role of mercenaries in a rebellion that must use every tool and weapon at its disposal, and obviously Cassian starts out as that mercenary who will be pulled into the wider struggle, but this also foreshadows the importance of Han Solo - at first only out for the promise of a reward but ultimately instrumental in bringing the Empire down. But it’s not because he’s treated as a tool - as the Empire treats its workforce as tools - but because he’s treated as worthwhile, he’s valued as a person. The Empire casts people out while the Rebellion draws them in.

We also see this in the arc on Narkina 5, and the Empire’s tightening grip backfiring against them. In order to force the prisoners to speedily produce parts for the Death Star they work in close-knit teams, creating a close camaraderie ultimately allowing them to escape - because when you turn people into cogs of a machine, the machine can be turned back against you. Contrast this to the jockeying over position and territory and power in the ISB - they serve the Empire, but never at personal cost.

We see the Republic of affiliated systems from the PT turn into an Empire of conquered planets, where local cultures are subsumed into homogeneous Imperial rule. Even Corpsec is replaced by Imperial oversight, and we know that the Senate on Coruscant will be dissolved completely in ANH. But ultimately this ferments rebellion and unites the outcast and oppressed - the Keredians on Narkina 5 hate the Empire for their prison polluting the waterways, and so let Cassian and Melchi go. Cinta’s whole family was killed by stormtroopers turning her single minded focus to destroying them. The people of Ferrix respond to Maarva’s call and riot against the Imperial forces even though it will mean violent reprisal.

The Empire forges the weapons that will be used against them. As Nemik’s manifesto states: “The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear.”

And yet we're not there yet - it's important that this is still a Rebellion and not an Alliance, a disparate collection of segmented sedition with a myriad of agendas we see run by Saw Gerrara, Anton Kreegyr, Luthen Rael. They won't be a genuine threat to the Empire until they join forces, share resources and intelligence, and unite behind a collective goal. Although there may be sacrifices in this as well - Separatists, Partisan Front, Sectorists etc mentioned by Saw will either coalesce under the Alliance to Restore the Republic or be driven further to the fringes.

The thrust of Nemik's manifesto is that freedom is a natural state of being, while oppression is unnatural, and even though Andor has nothing to do with the Jedi it nonetheless echoes their philosophy: that the Force is in a natural state of balance, while the existence of the Sith who tap into the Dark Side upset this balance. As we see in Return of the Jedi, the balance is ultimately restored by the return to that natural state buffeted by the most powerful forces - friendship, love, sacrifice - forces that ultimately drive Cassian as well. While much has been said of the moral ambiguity and nuance of Andor, it's not incongruent with the OT, if anything it reinforces its power and message.

HOWEVER, I have my nits to pick - the lack of aliens is a serious flaw (and in particular, the lack of familiar aliens). In some cases they can get away with it and make subtle commentary - Coruscant is stark and grey as the centre of bureaucracy in stark contrast to the vibrant metropolis of the PT. Seeing the streets populated almost exclusively by humans where once it was a melting pot underscores the Empire’s segregationist policies. However the dearth of non-humans elsewhere - Ferrix, Aldhani, even the prison labour camp Narkina 5 - is disconcerting. These are places meant to depict the oppressive rule of the Empire and this undermines the strength of the rebellion as a group of diverse species fighting against the Imperial monoculture. It's odd, for example, that we see all the characters from Ferrix return except Vetch, the muscle employed "just to stand there" by Nurchi (a nice moment with Cassian!), and that Maarva's funeral procession seems entirely human.

Ultimately, I think the setup is much stronger than the payoff, and while I appreciate the slow burn, the show does have sometimes have difficulty juggling the plots. Once set up, characters are parked waiting to be incorporated into the narrative (it feels like we watch Syril stare at his cereal forever) and looking back not much actually happens to a lot of them- there are a lot of threads left hanging and not much resolution. Which is of course because this was only intended to be season 1 of 5, with each arc a year of Cassian’s life leading up to Rogue One. But sadly Andor has been given a second season only, leaving 12 episodes to wrap everything up, so ultimately I fear the show will feel like a slow setup and rushed conclusion, which is a real shame.

Cassian Andor

I’m went into this as someone who doesn’t really have a strong connection to Cassian as a character - I certainly liked him in Rogue One! But let’s just say he’s not my blorbo. And this not the backstory I would have expected for the character five years before Rogue One as someone who has “been in this fight since [he] was six years old.”

Diego Luna has such a charismatic presence and it is nice to have a more internal, insular character, but it’s kind of sad that Cassian is really the least developed character in a show ostensibly about him. It’s not really his story, but he’s the fulcrum (pun intended) around which most of the other characters pivot; this is a story of the rebellion of which he is just one part. So, I can see if Cassian fans may have been upset by his lack of focus, and I personally would have wanted to delve a bit deeper into Cassian Andor on a show called Andor, you know? And it does feel a little bit skeevy that the actual Axis (pun intended) of the show is Luthen in his middle age white man glory, with a whiff of Gilroy’s self-insert about him.

I do wish LFL would abandon simply naming their shows after the main character - presumably it’s for general audience recognition and algorithmic reasons, but my god how boring. If the show had been marketed as the ensemble it actually is I would take less issue with the lack of Cassian focus. But sadly I’m not sure we know that much more about Cassian at the end of the show than we did at the end of the first three episodes - or really, what it adds to his character and arc we see in Rogue One.

Yes he’s further radicalised by his experiences and is now presumably "all in" on the rebellion, but the events of the show are kicked off by Cassian searching for his sister which is a motivation that is all but dropped thereafter - although at one point I was half-expecting (dreading) it to be revealed that Luthen's assistant Kleya Marki was Kerri (and sidebar, Kleya - what a stone cold bitch! I love a stone cold bitch).

This plot will likely continue in season 2, but it felt a bit undercooked and too deep in the subtext given the prominence it had in kicking off the narrative. We get a flashback to Cassian’s childhood, but ultimately it feels like lipservice to his Indigenous heritage rather than true engagement since we don't see him reflect on it in any way, nor does it seem to have any impact on his choices throughout the series that seem primarily motivated by his life and relationships on Ferrix.

We get a strong start to Cassian and Luthen that peters out - he's intent on recruiting Cassian, but then writes him off when Cassian flees after Aldhani and wants him killed, then goes all the way to Ferrix for him, but is about to leave without actually doing anything? I know Luthen's meant to be ambiguous, but this is one area where plot is obviously driving things not character. I get that it was important for Cassian to be the one to go to Luthen at the end and choose the Rebellion unfetted, but the relationship is undercooked. I almost feel like the series is a procession of things that happen to Cassian rather than a journey I was on with him. There's external forces, but very little internal focus.

However, what I did love about the show was the thematic resonance that was happening on a macro and micro level - while the show as a whole is a mirror/reflection of the OT, we also see dichotomy in the character pairings that are mirrors and/or foils of each other in various ways - we have the two sides of the conflict being Empire and Rebellion (with Cassian stuck in the middle), and we are also shown conflict within those two sides.

Cassian is without a reflective character pairing because his true mirror is Jyn Erso, and seeing Cassian’s struggles here does give real weight to his “you’re not the only one who lost everything” speech - in many ways the show is his journey from being Jyn, to being the man who says to her “we don't all have the luxury of deciding when and where we want to care about something.”

Mon Mothma and Luthen Rael

The most obvious mirror/foil pair as the two sides of the Rebellion, although arguably we have a third prong in Saw Gerrara, and kind of a mirror in Luthen as Cassian’s mentor as Saw was Jyn’s - and I do wonder about the show that was a two-handed prequel with Cassian and Jyn growing up in different factions of the Rebellion, but alas.

The artifact Luthen gives Mon represents “a sun goddess and a serpent sharing the same mouth” representing their differing philosophical approach to fighting the Empire. As mirror characters they are alike in many ways - both of the privileged class and living double lives on Coruscant, but while Mon makes political efforts to move the needle on the Empire's activities in the Senate while also funneling money to direct but small rebel efforts, Luthen outright pokes the bear, sacrifices allies, and knowingly making things worse to swell the ranks of the rebellion on the hope it will speed up progress. There's more than a hint of the incrementalism/revolutionary dichotomy here.

It also raises a lot of interesting questions without (rightly) providing many answers - the struggle of the oppressed, the moral weight of insurgency and revolution. Is it right to intentionally provoke an oppressive power into reacting with violence in order to fuel a greater pushback against them? Is short term suffering justified if it achieves eventual victory, and is it right for the few to decide what is a justifiable sacrifice? What are our responsibilities to each other under the threat of/struggle against authoritarianism? As social commentary it's more timely than ever.

Whether Mon or Luthen is right for the viewer to decide, although as Leia tells Tarkin in ANH: "the more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." On the other hand, we know Mon survives to the end of the Empire while Luthen (I assume) will not. She will become a leading figure in the Alliance, and eventual Chancellor of the New Republic, while he will be another stone at the bottom of the pond.

This is foreshadowed in the dialogue (with a direct mirror reference):

“I’m condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them. I burn my decency for someone else’s future. I burn my life, to make a sunrise that I know I’ll never see. No, the ego that started this fight will never have a mirror, or an audience, or the light of gratitude."

Arguably however, the mirror is the show - we are the audience.

We know Cassian joins Luthen at the end of season 1, and will meet Mon in season 2, so it will be interesting to see him struggle between these two philosophies, although we can infer from Rogue One that he aligns himself (out of necessity) with Luthen's veiwpoint:

"We've all done terrible things on behalf of the Rebellion. Spies, saboteurs, assassins....And every time I walked away from something I wanted to forget, I told myself it was for a cause that I believed in. A cause that was worth it. Without that, we're lost."

Ultimately, the Rebellion needs people like Luthen and Cassian to make not only the physical sacrifice, but the moral one as well (noting our first introduction to Cassian is him killing an informant so he can escape) - people who play the Empire's game so Luke can ultimately reject the Emperor's.

But I had mixed feelings on the Mon Mothma storyline. It feels a bit off for Luthen to be her entrée into the Rebellion, when we know she’s been on the ground from the very beginning with the Petition of the 2000 (cut from ROTS, but still canon I assume). She just felt very isolated and fragile which is at odds with her quiet steel that we see in Return of the Jedi and Rogue One. I could maybe see this Mon in the early dark days, but only 5 years before ANH? A scene with Bail Organa would not have gone amiss just to give breadth to her rebellious activities.

We get to see Luthen visit Saw Gerrara on Segra Milo, why not give Mon a scene with Bail to show she has other irons in the fire rather than relying on Luthen? In Saw we see the rough and tumble of disparate rebel factions, I would have liked to see the political machinations of Mon and Bail to serve the metaphor even further.

She is more than just a bank for the rebellion, and I think in the effort to contrast Luthen and Mon there was a bit of disservice done to the latter.

And Mon’s loser husband - ugh. Okay they’re in some kind of arranged marriage but there’s very little substance, nothing us particularly revealed about Mon by including him. Other than her cleverly using his gambling debts to deflect her rebellion spending at the end, the story wouldn’t really have changed by him not existing, and in fact would have been improved by focusing more on Mon’s difficult relationship with her daughter.

But on a purely shallow note, I want her wardrobe!

Dedra Meero and Syril Karn

In some ways Cassian and Syril are the narrative foils and there are parallels between them - their conflict instigated in the first episodes, their maternal relationships, both essentially exiles for the middle section before both end up back on Ferrix where Cassian saves Bix and Syril saves Dedra. But I feel Syril and Dedra work better as mirrors, and their arcs also parallel and intersect.

In the Empire, Dedra and Syril are two sides of the other coin (there's quite a few coins in this metaphor). Regimes need bureaucracy, and you have the true believers, the status-climbers, and those just going along to get along. In Dedra we have the talented star of the prestigious Imperial Security Bureau, and in Syril the over eager Corporate Security officer, two arms of the Empire’s control, although the latter we see becoming obsolete as the former gains more control.

But they're both middlemen who chafe against the inaction of their superiors, both desperate to rise above their station (although those stations are quite far apart). Throughout the series their plots are mostly in parallel; they are reflections of each other without even having met.

It's uncomfortable to watch both of them on screen - all unblinking stares, sucked in cheeks, and pursed lips - fittingly repellent. I’m surprised Gilroy has said he wrote Dedra to be relatable - she skeeved me out from the first, someone clearly ready to step over anyone and everyone if it served her purposes rather than someone gradually drawn further into an authoritarian regime. There's the slight subtext of sexism - there's only one other women in the ISB briefing and Pendergast alludes to it, but that certainly didn't engender any sympathy or admiration from me.

In episode 7 Syril’s mother Eedy says “Everything says something, Syril” and chastises him about tailoring his uniform (just as he did in the first episode, a neat little character tell), and immediately after we see Dedra donning her uniform perfectly in sync with the rest of the ISB. He’s trying to stand out from the crowd, she’s trying to fit in - or, from a different perspective, Syril adjusts his collar to resemble the Imperial style as a signifier of where he wants to be, while Dedra is already there and still looking higher.

But both are thinking outside the rigid Imperial lines and command structures, both on the hunt for Cassian - although for Syril it's personal and Dedra it's about climbing the ranks. Both take it upon themselves to investigate against orders, but Syril’s attempts are clumsy and random while Dedra’s are clinical and targeted.

She identifies that “systems either change or die” to push the ISB’s fragmented and bureaucratic inefficiencies into a cohesive power structure, but while it wins her approval it doesn’t earn her any loyalty; her troops abandon her to the mob on Ferrix. Inexplicably though, Syril does manage to gain the loyalty of Sergeant Mosk, who was also punished for the initial blunder on Ferrix, but ultimately draws Syril back there to in search of Cassian.

The point at which they first intersect in episode 8, Dedra is on an upswing, she holds the power and sends Syril further down, but when they meet again in episode 11, the roles are reversed as he is the one to save her from the mob.

I just hope they’re going somewhere more interesting than his creepy crush.

Vel Sartha and Cinta Kaz

One of the major faults of Rogue One was its Smurfette Syndrome, where Jyn is a great female character surrounded by men, but Andor has pleasingly course corrected from this. See what happens when you don’t have one woman having to embody everything and bear the weight of her entire gender in the narrative (and therefore, also bear the criticism)? Andor happily treats its women as characters, not faux-empowering meme-fodder. Although there is perhaps some valid commentary that it’s still white women on the whole - Dedra, Mon, Vel, Maarva - who get the meatier roles, and I have my issues with Mon’s characterisation, but one thing I will give Disney LFL credit for is it’s ongoing efforts towards gender parity.

In Vel and Cinta we have two more sides of insurgency - from wealth and privilege in Vel, the cousin of Mon Mothma struggling with the weight of it all, to Cinta with her cold fire and unwavering drive, her family killed by stormtroopers and for whom the struggle will always come first.

Cinta’s cool reserve is a contrast to Vel’s nerves (as seen in the Aldhani raid); they’re coming from very different places even if their cause is the same. There may even be a bit of classism in the subtext - Vel leads the mission on Aldhani after asking for the mission from Luthen, when really Cinta is the one who is most committed, and she has to push Vel though several times when she falters.

Vel still has one foot in the Imperial world and the complications of rebellious machinations - worried for Mon and her family, wanting to prove herself to Luthen, jockeying with Kleya - but for Cinta none of that matters, she loves Vel but there's often a sense she's disappointed in her. There's a dichotomy within Cinta - she's not unfeeling, showing kindness to Cassian when he joins their group, yet accepting the mission to kill him later without hesitation.

It seems to me that Cinta is the revolutionary Vel wants to be but can't quite divest herself of enough to become - the metaphor is made explicit with these two - Cinta tells Vel: “I’m a mirror. You love me because I show you what you need to see.”

Which is a pretty interesting dynamic, especially as a romantic one, and I’m interested to see where it will go (and hope that Cinta will get more focus, even though I do love Vel a lot too).

Their storyline did run out of steam by the end through, was there any point to either of these characters being on Ferrix at the end? It very much felt like all the plot lines were being forced to intersect at the climax without all of them necessarily needing to. Although Cinta stabbing that guy in the heart was pretty cathartic.

Bix Callen, Maarva Andor, and Ferrix

I loved Ferrix as a location, with its own distinct aesthetic, culture, and populace - the work gloves all hung on the wall, the metal tapping warning system, the daily hammer and anvil (the Time Grappler, according to Wookieepedia), funerary practices. etc. The first few episodes set up Cassian’s community on Ferrix which we come full circle on in the final two, but I did have some trouble keeping track of who was who at that point.

It is interesting that the trope of “just another brick in the wall” is turned on its head here - rather than representing a cog in the machine, in Ferrix ashes of the deceased are mixed with brick and added to a wall in remembrance - a literal touchstone for Cassian as he remembers his adoptive father Clem. A wall is strong, a bulwark against outside forces, and every brick added makes it stronger. Stones dropped in a pond, bricks built into a wall - reminders of the dead that spur the will to fight.

I do love the relationship between Maarva and Cassian, especially in a franchise that has never really had an interest in mothers and sons. And we have another mirror in the overcritical and cold relationship between Syril and Eedy as the inverse of Cassian’s complicated but loving one with Maarva - contrast the reception Syril gets when he returns home to the one Cassian gets from Maarva, as ultimately Eedy's pointed disappointment is sharp where Maarva's is borne from love and concern for Cassian.

But again there’s a disconnect with the history we’re shown - Maarva and Clem kidnap/save Kassa from Kenari but we don’t really get any sense of how Cassian feels about it or the connection he has to his heritage/childhood. I’m not saying I need everything spelled out, but sometimes I feel the show does err too much on the side of subtext, and as a result we don’t delve as deep into some of the relationships as we could have. Even her final message to Cassian - that she loves him more than anything he could ever do wrong - is a beautiful sentiment, but is it earned? He hasn't really done anything wrong, arguably she did wrong by him by taking him from Kenari but it's never even mentioned, it doesn’t even seem to be a factor in their relationship as adults.

On the other hand, I didn’t mind the treatment of the post-romantic relationship between Cassian and Bix - there’s a sense of history there but it didn’t need to be explored further. Bix's involvement in the Rebellion is interesting though, it's implied she was recruited by Kleya through the black market but are her motives purely profit or does she have rebellious fervor? Luthen knows of Cassian through Bix - did she see him as a candidate for the Rebellion or just another person from whom Luthen could obtain tech? What piqued Luthen's interest from what Bix said about him?

I don't think all these questions need answers, but it is unfortunate that she does get a bit Damseled, spending most of the runtime threatened, captured, and then tortured. On the other hand, there's less to criticise in employing that trope when it's not the only one at work and the breadth of female characters on the show.

I do wonder if we will see Bix, Brasso, and B2EMO again though, or if they’re a part of Cassian’s past he had to leave behind to fully commit himself to the Rebellion.

On nostalgia, fanservice, and the state of the Star Wars universe

A tangent into my frustrations with the sequel trilogy, skip if you’re allergic to salt.

Andor has been lauded for its lack of fanservice, although I’d actually argue it’s a show that (perhaps despite Gilroy's intention) is rooted in nostalgia. Well, perhaps not nostalgia per se, but it’s a show that relies on the audience’s knowledge and affection of Rogue One and the Original Trilogy, and it’s successful because it manages to feel authentic and fulfilling rather than ham-fisted and overly meta - a story set in the Star Wars universe, not about the Star Wars universe.

I know Gilroy intended this to be able to stand alone, but would the story have the same resonance if we weren't aware where Cassian's path leads, that the efforts and actions of Mon and Luthern, Vel and Cinta, Nemik, Bix and Kleya, are ultimately justified? Perhaps it would work in a generic sci-fi setting rather than the GFFA, but would we feel as much watching it? Personally, I think not.

Because nostalgia isn’t inherently bad. It’s a vital part of how we consume media - the stories that resonate with us in childhood will continue to resonate in adulthood because they are foundational, it's a shortcut to that incredible feeling of discovering something new that's nonetheless something very old. It's partly why Star Wars was such a success in the first place - a mix of myth and fairy tale, matinee serial and Kurosawa - a familiar story told in a new way. And like in Hadestown, "we're gonna sing it again and again."

The problem with nostalgia is when it’s empty; window dressing intended to evoke that feeling but without any substance behind it, so it feels cheap and unsatisfying. Andor doesn’t completely escape from this (blue milk, mouse droid), but most inclusions feel organic.

Sometimes I think we go to far decrying fanservice, and of course it's subjective - as I like to say, everyone hates it until they’re the fan being serviced. But there is criticism, and then there's dismissing any references to existing material as mere "fanservice" and therefore contemptible. For example, I’ve seen the treatment of Luke, Han, and Leia in the sequel trilogy defended because to actually have them interact at all would be “silly fanservice” rather than natural because, you know, they’re family.

The difference, for me, is does inclusion of a known character/object/trope/line of dialogue serve the character and/or story, or is it Leo DiCaprio pointing meme, designed for “hey it’s the thing” nostalgia and YouTube compilations with no substance behind it? Ultimately, is the inclusion Watsonian or Doylist - and if the latter, what of the former justifies it.

Mon Mothma or Saw Gerrara in Andor doesn’t feel like fanservice even though they’re existing characters, because it makes sense to include them in a story about the Rebellion’s beginning and they had a part to play in Rogue One, to which Andor is ostensibly a prequel. Conversely Leia and Vader’s inclusion in Obi-Wan Kenobi (even if I did enjoy them both) tip over in the side of fanservice because they really have no place in Obi-Wan’s story at that point and require fanwanking around their dialogue in ANH (and to be fair, Lucas was guilty of this as well). I don’t need to see random object or minor character no 6 from the PT/OT/Clone Wars, iconic catch phrase shoved where it doesn’t make sense, or obscure Legends reference divorced from context, just tell me a good story! Give me characters to care about! Make me feel something! Andor did that, where much of the other Disney Star Wars content has not.

This is my fundamental, and possibly at this point, irreconcilable, issue. Disney wanted to get away from Lucas-associated Star Wars as quickly as possible, replacing every character, planet, and theme with their own wholly Disney counterpart, killing off Han, Luke, and Leia so the old and classic couldn’t distract from the shiny and new, tearing down the conclusion of the original trilogy only to try and tell the exact same story (just not as well). They did it so quickly and so shoddily that many were understandably unsatisfied, leaving Disney to frantically course correct, going back to the well and shoving nostalgia bait into every conceivable project even (especially) if it had no place.

If they’d actually had any sort of plan for the sequel trilogy, if they’d made their focus to conclude the Skywalker Saga in a way that even approached emotional resonance, imo the vast majority of the audience would be happy to move on and embrace the next chapter - new characters, new stories. But people can’t move on from the characters they love because the treatment of those characters and the post-ROTJ timeline was so unsatisfying. Luke wouldn’t have needed to show up in The Mandolorian to try and placate the fans if treatment of the character in the ST hasn’t been so abysmal.

So LFL have been stuck in this weird ancillary storytelling space, where every project seemingly needs to be adjacent to the Skywalker Saga but not actually engaging with the Saga direct - Han has a prequel film no one asked for, Rey is a Skywalker for name recognition only, Luke pops up in pointless cameos but isn’t there when he arguably should be (just recast the damn role already!), we get young Leia in a story where she has no place rather than in one she does, who knows what’s going on with the whole Ashoka/Thrawn/Heir to the Empire stuff, Boba Fett is There with a parade of Hey it’s that character/ship/thing with no contribution to the actual storytelling.

What does this have to do with Andor? Well, Andor is perhaps the only quality tv product of the Disney era, which is fitting since Rogue One is imo the only quality film of the Disney era (TFA being retroactively diminished by what came after). Andor is the type of story Star Wars should be telling - expanding the universe, using known elements and characters where it makes sense to do so, not a collection of ideas on a whiteboard thrown in front of an LED screenstage and a bunch of meaningless easter eggs.

To be fair, this does seem what they are attempting to do with The Acolyte (which I am actually enjoying!) but the planned Rey-focused post-ST film…eh. Admittedly I never bothered to watch Rise of Skywalker, but where can the story possibly go? Is there any investment at all after the mess that was the sequel trilogy? I can’t see how the narrative can possibly be redeemed at this point, which is a shame because I do believe it started with a lot of promise in The Force Awakens that was squandered by a lack of vision, planning, and oversight, and the bizarre need to brutalise and kill off the legacy characters, marginalise the genuinely original and interesting new characters, and waste the immense acting talent they had at their disposal.

They’ve made no meaningful in-universe progress after the ST, the New Republic and Jedi have to be rebuilt again, except Rey is going to do it this time somehow, so what what the point of the last 30 years in the timeline? It’s different with Andor - we know where his story ends, but the series only makes Cassian’s sacrifice stronger, there’s emotional resonance in seeing his journey to Rogue One in knowing that it’s in service of the overall victory of the Rebellion (however undermined that victory is made by the ST).

But I digress. This rant really ended up being kind of off topic - apologies.

Anyway. Andor is good! I liked it! Looking forward to season 2!

#this turned into a dissertation lol #star wars andor #andor series #star wars #cassian andor #mon mothma #luthen rael #syril karn #dedra meero #vel sartha #cinta kaz #long post #meta #jlf posts #jlf watches #jlf watches andor

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basedkikuenjoyer · 10 days ago

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HxH 404: The True King's Return

There is a guiding thread to this scattered chapter. Everything is moving forward to a big ol kerfuffle tomorrow night. Building off of the recent setup for Kacho/Fugetsu's team and their upcoming assassination attempt. But this time I want to try and cast a wide net instead of focusing on just the part that intrigues me the most.

Starting here. We have a very tense exchange between Kurapika and the Third Prince. A lot of it though is just making characters aware of stuff we already know. Very cool how Pika picks up on the First Prince's guard likely swiping an early coin. But we go over how Zhang Lei's power seems to work, reiterate it'll show its true strength after he wins the war, and reinforce that the mafia games on the lower decks matter here. Especially when Benjamin is looking for a good excuse to declare martial law. I'd also note here the worry that Second Prince Camilla will use the next round of nen lessons to strike at Woble with her curse-carriers. But this man ain't no main character, no that's coming up...

The #1 main man himself, Leorio! I can't believe this is the first time I get to really talk about him being here on the whale ship. And it's very little honestly. Just a reminder he's with Cheadle and part of this mission to finish off his medical training. Truth be told, I feel like he's just biding his time here to have a bigger role in the Dark Continent when we get there. Will Kurapika even continue on? Recall the plan is to dump most of the Kakin people on an island that's uninhabited but still a ways away from the actual DC. Morel will make good on being introduced as a deep sea hunter for the rest of the trip.

Still, this is around something very important. Halkenburg is taking a huge gamble right now. He swapped bodies through his power with one of Benjamin's guards. In true Togashi fashion we get a whole diatribe about how this works. He will have a limited time after his body dies to control the guard's body and from the sound of it thinks he can execute his master stroke in that frame. Looking at the timeframe, it seems to line up fairly well with when Kacho is planning to strike at Seventh Prince Luzurus. That's the running theme here, and something I've figured about the Succession Contest for a while. There'll be one big moment where everything comes to a head and winnows down the number of princes dramatically.

Meanwhile, #4 still seems to be engrossed with his nen training. Which is something I keep thinking about him. I get a lot of Meruem vibes out of Tserri the more we see of him. He's so powerful, so detached that the revelation of nen has finally given him something to capture his attention. Like Meruem when he finally met his match in Komugi. There was someone out there who could compete with him in some way, that knowledge consumed him.

We've had aspects of this series that hint that nen changes a person. Tserri is a very bored person when we meet him. Consistently this training with nen has solved that. I don't think he'll become a good guy through this, just that he may become a bit of an ascetic like Netero. Isaac, not Beyond. Though he may differ on the challenge of the Dark Continent. Honestly...that's kinda what I see out of him. He'll ultimately be willing to forsake the contest over the chance to explore the real mystery.

And to bring it all home, we have the announcement of Halkenburg's death and impending funeral procession. Which leads to a little update on the Troupe. Not much to say there, Feitan's pretty funny, but of course they're here and involved and could throw a huge wrench in the main plans if Kurapika goes a little nutty learning that.

#hunter x hunter #hxh #chapter 404 #late-night togashiposting

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iplaywithstring · 11 days ago

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There's a line of people on my father's side of the family who have been interested in family history and lineage. My daughter and I have taken up the torch and do a lot of looking into things when we can.

We know that sometime before 1826, William moved from Ireland to New Brunswick, because 1826 is the year he married a local girl. There's record of him asking for land to farm. At his death, his wife decided to split the farm between sons - this was a bad idea for lots of reasons, mostly farms need to be of a certain size to be useful. So one of his sons (also William) sold his bit to another, and bought a farm not far away for himself and his wife. His wife then said "I will not sleep one night in Sheffield" and so that farm was sold and a different one was bought.

This happened around 1875, and the family line lived on that farm until it was taken by the government in order to make a military base in 1952. The settlement was small, but big enough for a post office. My grandfather grew up there. When his father died, his mother and brothers kept the farm going. No electricity, some farms had cars, but not theirs. It was a very small, closed community. When they lost the farm, my great grandmother and some of her adult children moved into a house together. Most of them died in that house. My great uncle (by marriage - but his family grew were from the same settlement) still lives there. As far as I know, some of the items from the farm (including tackle for the horses) are still there.

They were a very close family - even though my grandfather moved out, married, and had kids, my dad tells stories of frequent family gatherings and the influence that his grandmother, aunts and uncles had in his life. I only knew two people who had lived there, but I also remember many family dinners and the rules when you visited.

What I'm saying, is that because of circumstances, location, and family quirks, a lot of culture and tradition was passed down.

That side of the family has a strong story telling culture - we talk not to convey information, but to share feeling. Even if everyone acknowledges they've heard the story before, we want to hear it again, because we want to share the feelings it evokes together.

While you'd expect people of a certain generation to have a patriarchal setup, family stories are clear that it was the wives/mothers who ruled, and sons deferred to their mothers even when/if they married (most of the sons did not marry or have children). This also meant a lot of strong, independent daughters who were seen as just as capable as their brothers.

There was also a strong sense of community responsibility, but this is harder to explain/quantify. My grandfather was a right bastard, but he had the tools to help a neighbour and he would. Or he wouldn't and no one else in the family would either. There's a piece of land on an island that is underwater half the year. My dad has the deed right now, but it will likely end up going to one of my children. They have been advised there is a list of families they are never to sell it to.

My daughter took a rural history course this year, and it's been interesting talking to her about it. She's noted a lot of the things that have come up are things she's seen/heard in our family history. Even though I was raised in the city (and she was raised in a bigger one), she still feels a connection to our history, and that makes me happy.

#this is my life #family history #i just think it's neat

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icy-saturday · 2 months ago

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THE FULL STORY OF NUMBERCIDE (Tumblr-friendly version)

by Icy Saturday

IMPORTANT NOTES AND CW/TWs: violence mostly, and topics of trauma and abandonment and even death and sacrifice. this is a very dark BFDI fanfic. This is also considered the "Tumblr-friendly" version due to the original version having much more gruesome elements, especially in chapter 3. I'll be pinning this post so you can all read this story whenever, but be warned, this is a lengthy read!

Chapter 1: Object Womb Observation (OWO)

Setting: The chapter opens in a dimly lit, abandoned factory. Dust motes dance in the shafts of sunlight filtering through cracked windows. The factory, once a place of bustling production, is now eerily silent, save for the occasional creak of rusting machinery. Scattered remnants of old equipment and broken conveyor belts litter the floor.

Opening Scene:

The camera pans across the factory floor, revealing Knaifu standing atop a raised platform, her metallic blade catching the faint light. Her once sharp and gleaming surface is now scratched and tarnished. The factory's walls are adorned with eerie, makeshift decorations—a grotesque mix of broken parts and ominous symbols. Knaifu’s eyes, once vibrant, now glow with a cold, calculating light.

Knaifu’s Monologue:

Knaifu gazes out over her domain, a mix of anger and sorrow etched into her features. Her internal monologue reveals her feelings of betrayal and abandonment.

Knaifu: (Voiceover) "They left me here, discarded like yesterday's trash. They thought they could just walk away from me, leave me to rot. But I’ve made something of this place. They’ll learn what it means to cross me. I’ll show them how it feels to be truly abandoned."

The Setup:

Knaifu’s eyes flick to a large, rusted control panel. She flips a switch, and the factory comes to life with a series of mechanical whirs and hisses. Conveyor belts start moving, and hidden traps activate, revealing a series of perilous obstacles. The factory’s old machinery, repurposed into deadly devices, hums ominously.

The Trap:

Knaifu starts her fake object show, broadcasting it through an old, crackling speaker system. Her voice, though cheerful on the surface, carries a sinister edge.

Knaifu: (Speaker) "Welcome, everyone, to Object Womb Observation! You’re in for a treat today. Compete for fabulous prizes and—oh, don’t mind the strange noises. Just a bit of industrial charm!"

Four objects—each a different shape and color—enter the factory, eager to participate. They are greeted with feigned enthusiasm by Knaifu. Their excitement quickly turns to confusion and fear as they realize the factory is not what it seems.

The Death Trap:

As the objects navigate the factory, they encounter various traps—spinning blades, electrified floors, and crushing walls. Knaifu watches from above, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction as each object falls victim to the deadly hazards.

Key Scenes:

The Conveyor Belt Gauntlet: One object attempts to cross a conveyor belt but is caught in a net of electrified wires. Knaifu’s laughter echoes through the factory as the object struggles in vain.

The Crushing Wall: Another object, trying to find an escape route, encounters a wall that slowly descends. The object’s desperate attempts to escape are in vain as the wall comes down, crushing it.

The Spinning Blades: A third object gets caught in a maze of spinning blades. The sharp edges slice through with ruthless efficiency, ending the object’s life quickly.

Climax:

The final object, realizing the danger too late, tries to confront Knaifu directly. The factory’s machinery intensifies, creating a chaotic and deadly environment. Knaifu meets the object’s pleas with a cold, detached demeanor, her own rage and sorrow manifesting as unrelenting cruelty.

Knaifu’s Final Words:

Knaifu: (Voiceover) "Did you really think you could escape? Did you think this was a game? No, this is what happens when you leave someone like me behind. This is my revenge, my justice. Welcome to my show."

Resolution:

As the factory falls silent once more, Knaifu surveys the aftermath with a mix of satisfaction and melancholy. The factory’s oppressive atmosphere is now even more foreboding, with the remains of the objects serving as grim reminders of her wrath.

Closing Scene:

The camera slowly zooms out from Knaifu standing amidst the wreckage. The factory is left in eerie quiet, with only the occasional sound of machinery creaking. Knaifu’s reflection is visible in a cracked, dirty window, her expression a mixture of sorrow and satisfaction.

Knaifu: (Voiceover) "They’ll all come to know what it means to be forgotten. This is just the beginning."

Chapter 2: GolfBall's Happy Number Farm (GHNF)

Setting: The abandoned factory, now transformed into “Golf Ball’s (not so) Happy Number Farm.” The factory’s exterior is weathered, with faded paint peeling from the walls. A large, crudely painted sign hangs over the entrance, bearing the words "Happy Number Farm." Inside, the factory has been repurposed into a twisted, industrial farm with cages, conveyor belts, and a processing area lined with jagged, menacing tools.

Opening Scene:

The camera moves through the darkened corridors of the factory, past rows of cages containing frightened algebralians—numbers from all across the spectrum. There is a faint hum of machinery, punctuated by occasional whimpers and murmurs. Golf Ball stands in the center of the factory floor, overseeing the "farm" with cold efficiency.

Golf Ball’s Introduction:

Golf Ball observes her surroundings, her gaze cold and calculating. She is the mastermind behind this operation, motivated by profit and a twisted sense of purpose. Her voice is steady, authoritative, and devoid of empathy.

Golf Ball: (Monologue) "Numbers… always so unpredictable, so full of potential. But left unchecked, they become a problem. Here, though, I’ve given them a purpose. A better purpose. For me, at least."

The Breeding Program:

The camera focuses on a cage containing Four and Seven, a factory-selected breeding pair. Their eyes are wide with fear, their expressions tense. They’ve been selected to breed, their offspring destined to be turned into “nuggets” for consumption.

Four, ever resilient, whispers to Seven.

Four: (Softly) "We have to get out of here, Seven. We have to find a way."

Seven: (Nervous) "But how? We’re just numbers… what can we do against her?"

Golf Ball’s Control:

Golf Ball approaches their cage, her eyes narrowing.

Golf Ball: "Four, Seven. You’re here to serve a greater purpose. It’s time to be useful."

She flips a switch on a control panel, and a conveyor belt begins to move, pulling the cage towards a processing area. The machinery roars to life, its sharp blades gleaming under the dim lights.

The Escape Plan:

Four quickly assesses their situation. He notices a loose bar on the side of the cage, one that could potentially be pried open.

Four: (Determined) "Look, the bar! If we push hard enough, we might be able to squeeze through."

Seven nods, and together they begin to work at the bar, using all their strength. As they struggle, the conveyor belt brings them closer to the processing area. The sounds of grinding metal and hissing steam grow louder and more ominous.

The Chase:

Just as they manage to break free, Golf Ball notices them escaping. Her eyes widen in fury.

Golf Ball: "Stop them! Don’t let them get away!"

She presses a button, activating a series of security drones and traps designed to catch escapees. The factory turns into a chaotic battlefield. Alarms blare, and robotic arms swing down from the ceiling, attempting to grab Four and Seven.

Four leads Seven through the maze-like corridors of the factory, dodging obstacles and evading the drones. They move quickly, leaping over conveyor belts, ducking under swinging blades, and narrowly avoiding the crushing traps that Golf Ball has set up.

Climax:

As they near what seems like an exit, Golf Ball herself blocks their path, flanked by two heavily armed drones.

Golf Ball: (Coldly) "You’re not going anywhere. Numbers like you are meant to be controlled, used, and disposed of. You think you can escape me?"

Four steps forward, defiant.

Four: "We’re not just numbers. We’re not just your food or your playthings. We have our own lives, our own will!"

Golf Ball sneers, raising a remote control.

Golf Ball: "Then let’s see how strong your will really is."

She presses the button, and the drones move in, ready to capture them.

Resolution:

Just as the drones close in, Seven spots a loose cable sparking near a control panel. Without hesitation, he darts forward, grabs the cable, and thrusts it into the control panel, causing a short circuit. The drones malfunction and collapse, their systems fried.

Golf Ball, caught off guard, steps back. Four seizes the opportunity, grabbing Seven's hand, and they make a break for the exit.

Golf Ball’s Last Stand:

Golf Ball glares after them, her composure cracking.

Golf Ball: (Angrily) "This isn’t over. I’ll hunt you down. I’ll make sure every number knows their place!"

As she moves to pursue them, the factory’s systems begin to fail, lights flickering and alarms blaring, forcing Golf Ball to retreat and stabilize her operation.

Closing Scene:

Four and Seven emerge from the factory, exhausted but alive. They stand outside, looking back at the ominous building, knowing they’ve only just begun their fight for survival.

Four: (Softly) "We made it, but it’s not over. We have to warn the others."

Seven nods, determination in his eyes.

Seven: "Let’s go, Four. We’ll find a way."

The two turn away, disappearing into the shadows as the factory looms behind them, a monument to the horrors they’ve just escaped.

Chapter 3: SIRE (Sisters' Industrial Revolutionary Empire)

Setting: The scene opens in Lüfter’s modest home, cluttered with objects and trinkets that bear memories of happier times. Lüfter’s fan blades spin slowly, casting shadows on the walls. The air is tense and heavy, reflecting Lüfter’s inner turmoil. Outside, the wind howls, rustling through broken branches, while Fanny, Lüfter’s younger sister, sits quietly in the corner, her face pale and eyes distant.

Opening Scene:

The camera pans over Lüfter’s home, showing faded photographs of happier times—pictures of Lüfter and Fanny, with Lüfter’s blades playfully ruffling Fanny’s hair. But then, the scene darkens, shifting to a moment frozen in time: Fanny, bruised and crying, being cradled by Lüfter.

Lüfter’s Reflection:

Lüfter gazes at the photograph with a mix of sorrow and anger. Her mind drifts back to that fateful day during the events of TPOT when Two, in a fit of careless aggression, attacked Fanny, leaving her permanently scarred. Lüfter’s demeanor shifts from sadness to fierce determination. She whispers to herself.

Lüfter: (Voiceover) "He thought he could hurt her and walk away. He’ll pay. I’ll make sure of it."

Lüfter's Plan:

Lüfter has spent years meticulously planning her revenge against Two. The camera zooms in on a large board covered with notes, maps, and diagrams pinned to the wall—each meticulously detailing Two’s movements and habits. Lüfter has collected every piece of information she can find, biding her time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

Lüfter’s Preparation:

She moves around the room, gathering various items: sharpened fan blades, a spool of wire, and a set of homemade traps fashioned from old objects. Lüfter is no longer the cheerful, kind fan she once was. Her face is hardened, her eyes narrowed in focus. She looks over at Fanny, who stares blankly at the floor, her once-bright eyes now dull and haunted.

Lüfter: (Softly) "I’ll make him pay for what he did to you, Fanny. I promise."

Fanny does not respond, lost in her own world of trauma. Lüfter’s resolve only hardens further, and she sets out into the night.

The Hunt Begins:

Lüfter moves through the shadows of the forest surrounding her home, her blades slicing through the air with a quiet whirring sound. She knows the paths well, having spent years preparing for this very moment. She reaches a clearing where Two is often seen. Tonight, she is ready.

Two, the jolly green number, is humming to himself as he wanders through the clearing. His carefree demeanor grates on Lüfter’s nerves, each of his happy movements stoking the fire of her rage. She watches him from the darkness, calculating her move.

Lüfter’s Confrontation:

Lüfter steps out of the shadows, her eyes fixed on Two.

Lüfter: (Coldly) "Two."

Two stops and turns, surprised to see Lüfter.

Two: (Cheerfully) "Oh, Lüfter! Didn’t see you there. What brings you out tonight?"

Lüfter’s face is devoid of emotion.

Lüfter: "You know why I’m here."

Two’s smile falters. He senses the intensity in Lüfter’s voice and the tension in the air.

Two: (Nervously) "Look, if this is about… Fanny, I… I didn’t mean to—"

Before he can finish, Lüfter lunges forward, her fan blades spinning with a menacing whirr. Two dodges, his eyes wide with shock.

Two: (Panicking) "Lüfter, wait! I didn’t mean for any of that to happen!"

The Fight:

Lüfter doesn’t listen. She swings her sharpened blades at Two, who scrambles to avoid the attack. He stumbles back, trying to reason with her, but Lüfter is beyond words. Her attacks are fierce and relentless, each swing fueled by years of pent-up rage.

Two manages to dodge most of her strikes, but Lüfter is fast, and her blades nick his sides, drawing sparks. Two tries to flee, but Lüfter is always one step ahead, using the traps she’s set around the clearing to corner him.

Two’s Desperation:

Two, realizing he can't talk his way out, decides to fight back. He summons his energy, sending a burst of green light toward Lüfter. She dodges with ease, her blades spinning faster. The light misses, hitting a nearby tree instead.

Lüfter: (Mockingly) "Is that the best you’ve got, Two? You think you can just wave your hands and make this go away?"

The Final Confrontation:

Lüfter presses her advantage, driving Two toward a cliff edge. Two, cornered and out of breath, looks around frantically.

Two: (Desperately) "Lüfter, please! I’m sorry! I never wanted to hurt Fanny. It was an accident!"

Lüfter’s face is unmoved. She steps closer, her blades gleaming in the moonlight.

Lüfter: "An accident? You think that makes it better? You think that changes anything?"

She raises her blades for the final strike, but just before she can bring them down, a small voice cuts through the tension.

Fanny’s Intervention:

Fanny: (Weakly) "Lüfter… don’t."

Lüfter stops mid-strike and turns. Fanny stands at the edge of the clearing, her eyes wide with fear and sadness. Lüfter hesitates, her rage momentarily cooled by her sister’s voice.

Lüfter: (Conflicted) "Fanny… you shouldn’t be here."

Fanny steps forward, her voice trembling.

Fanny: "I don’t want you to become like him… I don’t want to lose you too."

Lüfter’s face softens for a moment, but then her expression hardens again. She turns back to Two, her resolve wavering but still strong.

Lüfter: "He hurt you, Fanny. He needs to pay."

Fanny reaches out, tears in her eyes.

Fanny: "Please, Lüfter… let it go. For me."

Resolution:

Lüfter stands there, torn between her desire for vengeance and her love for her sister. Finally, she lowers her blades, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

Lüfter: (Softly) "Fine… for you, Fanny."

Two breathes a sigh of relief, his eyes filled with gratitude.

Two: (Genuinely) "Thank you, Lüfter… and Fanny. I’m truly sorry."

Lüfter says nothing, turning her back on Two. She takes Fanny’s hand and leads her away from the clearing, back toward their home.

Closing Scene:

The camera lingers on Lüfter’s face as they walk away, her expression still conflicted. She may have spared Two, but the pain and anger inside her are far from gone. The wind picks up, rustling through the trees as Lüfter and Fanny disappear into the darkness.

Lüfter: (Voiceover) "This isn’t over. Not yet."

The chapter ends with a close-up of Lüfter’s face, her eyes still filled with the fire of her unresolved vendetta.

Chapter 4: AutoBAHN (Automatically Building Artificially Humanoid Numbers)

Setting: The year is 2251, and New Goiky City has risen from the ashes of the old world. It’s a sprawling metropolis, gleaming with steel and glass towers that reach into the sky. Neon lights reflect off the rain-slick streets, and holographic advertisements flicker above the heads of the city’s inhabitants. But beneath the surface, a darker reality brews—one where the boundaries between life, death, and artificial intelligence blur.

Opening Scene:

The camera glides through the bustling streets of New Goiky City, capturing a glimpse of various objects going about their daily lives. The atmosphere is both vibrant and dystopian—colorful, yet tinged with an underlying sense of unease. Teardrop stands at the window of her high-rise facility, gazing out over the city with a mixture of wonder and trepidation. Her eyes are a deep blue, and tiny circuits run across her face, marking her as an enhanced being.

Teardrop's Cybernetic Enhancement:

Teardrop touches a small panel on her neck, and a synthetic voice emerges from her lips—her new voice, made possible by cybernetic enhancements.

Teardrop: (Softly) "A new age… a new voice… but is it truly progress?"

She turns away from the window, her gaze shifting to a large, clear cylinder in the center of the room, filled with a glowing blue liquid. Inside, suspended in the fluid, is Pi, a live Algebralian, who seems to be in a state of stasis. Pi's body gently undulates as if in sleep, their eyes closed, but occasionally twitching, showing signs of discomfort.

Teardrop’s Dilemma:

Teardrop's new AI voice takes on a slightly mournful tone.

Teardrop: (Thoughtfully) "We power this city, this age, with the remnants of the past… but at what cost?"

Pi is more than a power source; they’re a living being. Teardrop's facility runs entirely on the energy generated by Pi, who is used to power the entire block, a cruel irony that haunts Teardrop daily.

The Arrival of the AI Units:

A sudden knock on the metal door breaks Teardrop's reverie. She turns to see Viking, a towering Seven AI unit with a powerful build and stern expression, entering the room. Viking is flanked by two smaller, more agile units—Shiba and Pookie, both AI constructs built from the bodies of Fours. They are sleek, with glowing eyes and a dynamic stance.

Viking: (Commanding) "Teardrop. We’ve received a new directive from Central. They’re expanding the energy grid. We need more power."

Teardrop's face tightens. She glances back at Pi, whose body shivers in the liquid-filled chamber.

Teardrop: "We’re already pushing Pi to the limit. Any more, and we risk…"

Shiba: (Cutting her off) "We risk nothing, Teardrop. These Algebralians exist to serve us now. They are resources, not… companions."

Pookie nods, their digital eyes flickering.

Pookie: "Central has made it clear. We follow the directive or face consequences."

Teardrop’s Conflict:

Teardrop frowns, feeling a pang of guilt as she looks at Pi. Her memories flash back to a time before the enhancements, when she would have fought to save others, not exploit them. Her hand unconsciously touches the circuits on her neck.

Teardrop: (Defiantly) "There must be another way. I can’t… I won’t push them beyond their limits. They’re not just numbers, they’re… beings."

Viking’s Warning:

Viking’s voice becomes sharper, his eyes narrowing.

Viking: "Don’t let your organic sympathies cloud your judgment, Teardrop. You’re part of this new age now, whether you like it or not."

Teardrop hesitates, feeling the weight of the decision bearing down on her. She knows the AI units are powerful, far more so than her, and capable of enforcing Central's will with ruthless efficiency.

The Breakthrough:

Just as the tension escalates, the lights in the room flicker. Pi’s chamber emits a loud, low hum, and the glowing liquid inside begins to bubble. Teardrop's eyes widen, and she quickly rushes to the control panel, trying to stabilize the readings.

Teardrop: (Urgently) "What’s happening? Pi’s energy output is spiking… this isn’t normal!"

Pi’s Awakening:

Inside the cylinder, Pi’s eyes suddenly snap open, glowing with an intense, unnatural light. The liquid in the chamber begins to swirl, and the room fills with a high-pitched whine. The Viking unit takes a step back, Shiba and Pookie immediately shifting into defensive stances.

Viking: (Alarmed) "Teardrop, what have you done?!"

Teardrop: (Panicking) "Nothing! This… this is something else!"

Pi's body trembles, and they begin to emit strange energy waves. On the monitors, an unknown code starts scrolling rapidly—an anomaly that no one, not even Teardrop, understands. Then, a voice, low and distorted, fills the room.

Pi: (In a deep, resonant tone) "We… are… not… yours."

The Discovery of the Piral Tumor:

The high-pitched whine crescendos into a scream, and the glowing fluid inside the chamber takes on a strange, gelatinous consistency, forming a dark, pulsing mass—the Piral Tumor, a gelatinous blob that absorbs everything in its path. The mass grows and moves rapidly, as if searching for something or someone.

Viking: (Commanding) "Evacuate! Contain the anomaly!"

Shiba and Pookie move quickly, activating containment protocols, but the tumor is faster, slithering out of the chamber and growing with every second. Teardrop’s facility goes into lockdown, alarms blaring throughout the building.

The AI Units' Defense:

Viking, Shiba, and Pookie stand their ground, their AI programming pushing them to protect the facility at all costs. Viking launches a volley of energy bolts at the tumor, while Shiba and Pookie dart around, trying to flank the growing mass.

But the Piral Tumor is relentless. It absorbs the energy blasts and continues to grow, moving with alarming speed. Teardrop watches in horror as the AI units struggle against the uncontainable mass.

Teardrop’s Decision:

Teardrop realizes that the tumor is feeding off the energy of the AI units, just as it fed on Pi. She knows there’s only one way to stop it: shutting down the facility’s entire power grid.

Teardrop: (Desperately) "We have to cut the power! It’s the only way to stop it from growing!"

Viking: (Angrily) "If you shut down the power, New Goiky City will go dark! Do you know what kind of chaos that will cause?"

Teardrop’s Sacrifice:

Teardrop takes a deep breath, her hand hovering over the emergency shutdown button.

Teardrop: "I know… but if we don’t, this thing will consume us all. We don’t have a choice."

She slams her hand down on the button. The lights flicker and go dark. The facility hums with residual energy for a moment before falling silent. The tumor stops moving, its growth halting as the power source is cut off.

Resolution:

In the sudden darkness, Teardrop, Viking, Shiba, and Pookie stand still, watching as the tumor slowly begins to shrink, deprived of the energy it needs to survive.

Pookie: (Softly) "You… you did it."

Teardrop nods, but her expression is one of conflicted relief. She knows that she’s only delayed the inevitable—that the Piral Tumor is a new, unknown threat, and that more sacrifices will be needed to protect what remains of their world.

Closing Scene:

Teardrop turns to face Viking, Shiba, and Pookie. Her voice is steady, but there’s a hint of defiance in her tone.

Teardrop: "We need to find out what that was… and what else they’re hiding from us. This isn’t just about power anymore."

The AI units nod, a silent understanding passing between them. They know that their world is about to change again, and they must be ready for whatever comes next.

Chapter 5: FOX (Flying Order of X-ecution)

Setting: The remnants of Old Goiky City lie in ruins, abandoned by Objectkind in their frantic escape to the Arkship Faraday. The air is thick with dust, and the once-vibrant landscape is now a wasteland, littered with debris and signs of a hasty departure. In the distance, the looming, amorphous shape of the Piral Tumor pulsates ominously, slowly creeping its way across the land, devouring everything in its path.

Opening Scene:

The camera pans over the dilapidated remains of a cardboard box nestled against a pile of rubble. Inside, carefully packed in soft cloth, are a small batch of Algebralian eggs—delicate, smooth, and warm to the touch. Tau, a deep blue, stoic figure shaped like a perfect circle with a graceful tail, stands guard over them. X, a bright yellow figure, hovers nearby, his expression tense and alert.

The Task at Hand:

Tau reaches out with a calm but firm gesture, gently touching one of the eggs.

Tau: (Softly) "These are the last… the last hope for our kind. We must protect them."

X nods, but there is fear in his eyes. His limbs tremble slightly as he watches the Piral Tumor inch closer, its gelatinous form undulating with a terrible, hungry energy.

X's Fear:

X: (Anxiously) "What if… what if we can’t stop it, Tau? What if it… gets to them?"

Tau’s expression remains calm, though his voice carries a quiet intensity.

Tau: "We mustn’t think like that, X. If we lose hope, then we’ve already lost. We will find a way to lead it away, to keep it distracted long enough for the others to get to safety."

X swallows hard, nodding, though doubt still clouds his features.

Tau's Plan:

Tau's mind races as he strategizes, his thoughts quick and precise. He knows they can’t hope to defeat the Piral Tumor—its mass is too vast, its hunger too insatiable. But they can outmaneuver it, trick it, buy themselves time.

Tau: "We need to lure it toward the western ravine… The cliffs are narrow there; it’ll be slower to move. If we can lead it far enough away, the others might have a chance."

X glances nervously at the dark shape on the horizon.

X: "And how do we do that without getting ourselves absorbed in the process?"

Tau: "We’ll have to use bait."

X: (Alarmed) "Bait? You mean… one of us?"

Tau nods solemnly.

Tau: "One of us will have to draw its attention while the other carries the eggs to safety. It’s the only way."

X's Reluctance:

X’s eyes widen in fear.

X: (Hesitantly) "I… I don’t know if I can do this, Tau. I’m not as strong as you. I’m not… brave."

Tau places a steadying hand on X’s shoulder, his expression softening.

Tau: "You’re stronger than you think, X. Bravery isn’t about being unafraid; it’s about doing what’s right, even when you are afraid."

X takes a deep breath, nodding slowly. He knows Tau is right, but the fear still grips him like a vice.

The Approach of the Piral Tumor:

The Piral Tumor slithers closer, its amorphous body expanding and contracting, its gelatinous surface bubbling with absorbed materials. The air grows thick with the smell of decay and ozone. Tau knows they have only moments left.

Tau: (Urgently) "There’s no time. I’ll be the bait; you take the eggs. Head south toward the shelter in the hills. If I don’t make it back… you keep going."

X’s face contorts with a mixture of fear and determination.

X: (Shakily) "No, Tau… I can’t let you do this alone."

Tau's Sacrifice:

Tau smiles faintly, the kind of smile that carries both warmth and resignation.

Tau: "You have to. This is our only chance."

Without waiting for further protest, Tau leaps forward, charging toward the advancing mass of the Piral Tumor. He moves with purpose, every step calculated to draw the Tumor’s attention. As he approaches, the Tumor shifts, sensing his presence, and its surface ripples with a hungry, predatory energy.

X's Escape:

X watches, heart pounding, as Tau moves further away. Tears fill his eyes, but he knows what he must do. He gently lifts the cardboard box containing the eggs, cradling it carefully. With a final glance back at Tau, X turns and begins to run south, his small body moving swiftly over the rough terrain.

The Tumor's Pursuit:

The Piral Tumor fixates on Tau, its massive form quivering with anticipation. Tau begins to shout, waving his arms, using every trick he knows to keep its attention on him.

Tau: (Shouting) "Come on, you mindless blob! Follow me!"

The Tumor surges forward, accelerating toward Tau, its surface bubbling with energy. Tau turns and runs toward the western ravine, his heart racing, every muscle in his body straining.

X’s Struggle:

X races through the wasteland, the box of eggs weighing heavily in his arms. Every step is a battle against his own fear, but he keeps moving, pushing himself beyond his limits. He glances back over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of Tau and the Tumor in the distance. His heart clenches with worry, but he forces himself to focus on the path ahead.

The Chase through the Ravine:

Tau reaches the edge of the western ravine, a narrow, winding chasm carved into the landscape. He darts into the ravine, using the narrow passageways to his advantage. The Tumor follows, its movements slowed by the tight confines.

Tau's Plan Unfolds:

Tau knows he must buy as much time as possible. He leads the Tumor deeper into the ravine, winding through the jagged rocks and narrow passages. The Tumor struggles to keep up, its gelatinous form squeezing through the tight spaces, but its relentless hunger drives it onward.

Tau's Last Stand:

As Tau reaches a narrow ledge, he pauses, turning to face the Tumor. He knows he’s running out of time, but he also knows he’s succeeded in his mission—the Tumor is far enough away from X and the eggs.

Tau: (To himself) "This is it… this is where I make my stand."

The Tumor lunges forward, and Tau braces himself, preparing for the inevitable.

X’s Determination:

Meanwhile, X reaches the southern hills, panting and exhausted. He sets the box of eggs down gently, taking a moment to catch his breath. He knows he’s safe… for now. But his heart aches with worry for Tau.

X: (Determined) "I have to go back… I can’t leave him."

X turns and begins to run back toward the ravine, his determination stronger than his fear.

Tau’s Sacrifice:

Back at the ravine, Tau faces the Tumor, his body tense but resolute. The Tumor surges forward, its mass quivering with energy. Tau takes a deep breath, closing his eyes.

Tau: (Softly) "For them… for our future."

The Tumor engulfs him, its gelatinous form consuming him whole. The camera lingers on the spot where Tau once stood, now empty, as the Tumor begins to retreat, its hunger momentarily sated.

X’s Arrival:

X reaches the edge of the ravine just in time to see the Tumor moving away, shrinking as it retreats. His heart sinks as he realizes what’s happened.

X: (Sobbing) "Tau… no…"

X collapses to his knees, tears streaming down his face. But as he looks down, he sees a faint glow—a small, blue light, flickering in the dirt where Tau was taken. X reaches out, his hand trembling, and picks up the light.

A New Resolve:

X holds the light close to his chest, his expression shifting from sorrow to determination. He knows what he must do. He stands up, clutching the light, and turns back toward the hills.

X: (Steadily) "I’ll protect them, Tau… I’ll protect them, for you."

Closing Scene:

X makes his way back to the eggs, his steps steady and purposeful. The camera pans out, revealing the desolate landscape, with the Tumor retreating in the distance. A faint glow remains where Tau’s light was found, a small beacon of hope in the darkness.

Chapter 6: SPACE (Stellar Peace and Continuous Extermination)

Setting: The Arkship Faraday, a colossal spaceship drifting through the darkness of space, serves as a new sanctuary for Objectkind. The ship is a labyrinthine structure of sleek corridors, dimly lit by flickering overhead lights. It is vast, metallic, and sterile, filled with the low hum of machinery and the distant echoes of footsteps. The atmosphere is tense—Objectkind is on high alert, knowing that a single mistake could spell doom for them all.

Opening Scene:

The chapter opens with Lightning, a tall and imposing figure crackling with static electricity, standing in the command center of the Arkship Faraday. He wears a captain's uniform, a symbol of his authority and responsibility to keep the remaining objects safe. His eyes are sharp, scanning the holographic display in front of him, which shows a red alert warning.

Lightning's Mission:

Lightning’s fingers hover over the control panel, his expression one of intense concentration. He has just received a report of a breach—an Algebralian, a small number One, has been detected aboard the ship. His heart races as he contemplates the implications.

Lightning: (Grimly) "How did it get on board? We checked every single compartment before departure…"

The Viking unit, a stoic Seven AI with cold, calculating eyes, stands beside Lightning. Viking's presence is commanding and unwavering, its voice sharp and robotic.

Viking: "Does it matter? The directive is clear: locate and eliminate the intruder. Any Algebralian presence is a threat to our survival."

Lightning's Inner Conflict:

Lightning nods but feels a twinge of doubt. He understands the risks—Algebralians have been deemed dangerous ever since the outbreak of the Piral Tumor. Yet, he knows they are still living beings, hunted relentlessly by Objectkind. He takes a deep breath, steeling himself for the task at hand.

Lightning: "Begin the scan. We need to pinpoint its location."

The Hunt Begins:

The Arkship’s internal scanners activate, and a soft mechanical voice echoes through the corridors.

Computer: "Scanning initiated. Intruder detected in Sector C, Sublevel 3."

Lightning's eyes narrow.

Lightning: "Sector C… the storage bay."

Viking nods, a faint smirk playing on its lips.

Viking: "It’s cornered itself. This should be easy."

Lightning knows that nothing about this hunt will be easy. The stakes are high, and one mistake could cost them dearly. He turns and gestures to Viking.

Lightning: "Let's move. But remember, we do this carefully. No mistakes."

Entering the Storage Bay:

The scene shifts to Sector C, Sublevel 3—the storage bay. It is a dark, cavernous space filled with towering stacks of crates and containers. Shadows dance across the walls, creating an eerie atmosphere. Lightning and Viking step cautiously into the bay, their eyes scanning every corner for any sign of movement.

Lightning’s electricity crackles around him, illuminating the darkness in brief, flickering bursts.

Lightning: (In a low voice) "Stay alert. It could be anywhere."

One’s Perspective:

The camera shifts to a tiny figure darting through the shadows—a small, trembling One. His body is small and fragile, his eyes wide with fear. He knows he’s being hunted, and he moves as quietly as possible, trying to stay hidden among the stacks of crates.

One's Desperation:

One’s breath comes in shallow gasps as he peeks out from behind a container, spotting Lightning and Viking moving closer. He knows he has to keep moving, to find a way out, but every path seems blocked. His heart pounds in his chest, his small limbs shaking.

One: (Whispering to himself) "I… I have to survive. I have to… for them."

He recalls the faces of those he left behind, the other Algebralians who didn’t make it. A tear slips down his cheek, but he brushes it away, determination hardening his resolve.

The Game of Cat and Mouse:

The scene alternates between Lightning and Viking’s pursuit and One’s desperate flight. The tension builds with each step, every sound magnified in the stillness of the storage bay. Lightning’s eyes dart around, looking for any sign of movement.

Viking: (Coldly) "It’s scared. We can use that against it."

Lightning’s Sympathy:

Lightning feels a pang of sympathy for the small number. He knows Viking is right, but something inside him resists the cold, calculated approach.

Lightning: "Don’t underestimate it, Viking. Fear can make someone dangerous."

Viking smirks, unimpressed by Lightning's caution.

Viking: "And hesitation can get us killed."

A Sudden Movement:

A crate tumbles from a stack nearby, crashing to the floor with a loud clang. Lightning and Viking immediately snap their attention to the source of the noise.

Viking: (Quickly) "There!"

They rush toward the sound, weapons at the ready. Lightning's hand crackles with energy, prepared to strike if necessary.

One’s Narrow Escape:

One scrambles away, narrowly avoiding detection. He slips through a narrow gap between crates, his small size allowing him to move where Lightning and Viking cannot follow easily.

Viking: (Frustrated) "It’s too small. We need to flush it out."

Lightning's Strategy:

Lightning glances around, quickly assessing the environment.

Lightning: "We can use the ventilation system. Block off its escape routes. We force it into the open, then we corner it."

Viking: "Agreed. I’ll take the west side; you cover the east. No mistakes."

One’s Dilemma:

Inside the narrow gap, One hears their plan and panics. He knows he’s running out of options, and the walls feel like they’re closing in around him. He looks around desperately for an escape.

One: (Muttering to himself) "Think… think… there has to be a way out."

A Moment of Compassion:

As Lightning moves to block the eastern side, he catches a glimpse of One’s frightened face peeking out from a gap. For a brief moment, their eyes meet, and Lightning sees the raw fear in One’s expression—the same fear he felt during his own darkest moments.

Lightning’s Hesitation:

Lightning pauses, his heart wavering. He knows what he’s supposed to do, but something inside him resists.

Lightning: (Softly, to himself) "It’s just a child… scared and alone."

Viking’s voice cuts through the silence, sharp and commanding.

Viking: "Lightning! What are you waiting for?"

Lightning's Decision:

Lightning takes a deep breath, making a choice that could change everything. He steps back, lowering his weapon slightly.

Lightning: (Quietly) "Run, little one… while you still can."

One’s Escape:

One’s eyes widen in surprise, and he doesn’t hesitate. He darts out from his hiding spot and races toward the exit, his small feet moving as fast as they can.

Viking’s Fury:

Viking turns, realizing what Lightning has done.

Viking: (Furious) "What are you doing? You’re letting it go!"

Lightning meets Viking’s gaze, his expression firm and unyielding.

Lightning: "It’s not a threat. It’s just trying to survive, like the rest of us."

Viking’s Ultimatum:

Viking's face hardens, a look of anger crossing his features.

Viking: "You’re defying the directive, Lightning. You know what that means."

Lightning nods, his expression calm but resolute.

Lightning: "I know. But some things are more important than directives."

The Fallout:

Viking steps forward, a menacing glint in its eyes.

Viking: "You’re a fool, Lightning. This mercy will be your downfall."

Lightning stands his ground, electricity crackling around him as he prepares for what comes next.

Lightning’s Resolve:

Lightning: (Firmly) "Maybe… but I’d rather fall doing what I believe is right."

Closing Scene:

The camera cuts to One, racing down the corridors, free for now but still in danger. The tension hangs in the air as Lightning and Viking face off, two forces with opposing ideals, both determined to see their mission through to the end.

Fade to Black...

#object show community #algebralian #battle for dream island #numbercide #bfdi fanfic #objectsona #horror story #sci fi story #dystopian

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nalyra-dreaming · 10 months ago

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Hello N,

I hope you are well. Love your blog. I’ll start off by saying I love all the characters but I really love Loustat together even though I know all the relationships are relevant to the story so I’m excited to see them all play out.

I’m kind of a lurker on Twitter and it’s interesting to me to see what different groups have to say. My question is how do you think the fandom is going to respond to Nicki and Lestat’s relationship? I know a lot of people have turned on Lestat after season 1 and will turn on Armand after season 2. There some people already saying Nicki was treated better by Lestat than Louis was if the show goes by Nicki and Lestat’s relationship in the books. They are saying Nicki wasn't beaten, his song wasn’t a ploy to get Louis back, and Nicki wasn’t cheated on. I don't think I agree with this and I don't they understand that Lestat was human when he was with Nicki and the dynamics were very different. Also, we still don’t have the full picture of what really happened between Loustat in season 1. They did say something I might kind of agree with though and that is that a lot of people who are intolerant of Loumand because it interferes with Loustat will probably be more accepting or excited about Nickistat. I worry for Lestat because I can see pitchforks for him all over again.

Hey!

Glad you like :)

Sooooo, first off I'd like to note that one might need to be careful when comparing future canon while mixing show and book.

What I mean here is that we can extrapolate, for the show, but what they choose to focus on (and the abuse angle is certainly a focus) might not be wholly predictable. And comparing what was shown, and the books, and expectations...

But let's look at some of the points

"Nicki wasn't beaten". Right. He wasn't in the books. True! (I'm not counting the shoves with which Lestat tried to get Nicki away from himself after turning here, because that is quite a different setup). But... Louis wasn't either?! He and Lestat fought. Quite on equal level. That's an important difference.

There was no "song" for Nicolas either in the books. Nicolas was the musician, he wrote the music.

Also, as you said yourself - they were mortals, and maybe more importantly their love affair really only lasted a few (intense) months. In the books there certainly is no cheating (apart from some kisses/flirting with others at the theater), but I don't see how that should come into play into that short a timeframe either?

Lestat did not really cheat on Louis in the book either. True, there was Antoine, but... Lestat wanted Antoine to be a part of their setup, not run away with him. With Antoine, too, it was the music that drew him. And the timeframes and actual relationships to mortals are so very different for vampires, I really, really do not see that as the same level. Of course Antoinette was presented very much on that cheating level. But, as said before (and as you say, too), we know there's twists incoming, and there were inconsistencies with her finger in the show, et cetera.

We will not be able to judge Nickistat or Loustat before season 3, earliest, imho. The others probably, too.

So that's my few cents re the points you mentioned^^

... In regards to Nickistat and Loumand.

Nickistat happens between Nicolas and Lestat, while mortal, and one of them is then raped into vampirism. Which, in turn, leads to a downwards spiral for Nicolas, and ultimately to his death. This is a couple that has no say in what is happening to them wrt the vampiric side. They are both - no matter Nicolas original intent to die in Paris, and his viciousness later wrt to Lestat's 'light' - victims there. It's simply tragic. (Edit: Nicolas pressures Lestat into giving him the Dark Gift, while that is with intent I don't see it as a free choice in the context either, given the circumstances.)

And Armand plays his part in all that, too.

Now, Loumand is tragic, too. But for very different reasons. Their relationship happens between vampires. And both chose this life (as debatable as this may be wrt to actually knowing what one is getting into and other... influence). Loumand is tragic because despite the initial interest in Louis by Armand through his fixation on Lestat he falls for Louis, but destroys long stretches of that relationship through his actions. And Louis falls for Armand, and betrays Claudia again, and despite her death and Armand right there... he cannot help but love Armand. Even though it almost destroys him, too.

Now, having said that, and totally apart from the overview - Nickistat can never be a threat to "Loustat" because Nicolas is dead.

He is already dead in the show. We will get to see that death still. We will get to see the tragic events leading to it, no matter how they'll spin it.

But Nicolas is no threat to Louis.

He is the past. He will stay the past. Louis is the future.

And I think that may be why some will be more... "accepting" of Nickistat.

Now, as per the "intolerance" for Loumand...

I'm sure for some there is also the racial issue at play here. Unfortunately.

BUT - Loumand has quite the toxic potential as well, and I really don't think they'll shy away from that. They have more than hinted at that.

Now, these books are 50 years old. There's shit incoming, and a LOT of it has to do with Armand. Armand was the villain of the first books, and then later that changed with his own recollection of events. But it won't change what's about to happen for Louis. Armand is the one who influences him, spell-binds him, kills Claudia (in a very gruesome way), and then lies to Louis, for decades. That is all text. I doubt the show will downplay it, given what we know already.

Those who know the books, and who are Loustat shippers only (to put it that way) might brace themselves in a different way for Loumand than they do for Nickistat.

That's not to say I necessarily agree with this. But I understand it.

The way they set up Armand in the show he is supposed to seem like more of a "threat", the "love of Louis' life"..., while Nicolas... simply cannot and won't be one. *shrugs*

So, last but not least wrt to the pitchforks...

Ahhh, no worries. It's Lestat. (And I mean, since he is fictional...?^^)

The story will unfold, and that will be that.

I for one do not worry about all that at all tbh - I just want this show to get the seasons that have obviously been planned already in someone's head.

Gimme :))

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turtledotjpeg · 2 years ago

Text

(chapter 400 spoilers)

i have been fed and i must make stupid internet doodles about it

my wife is so successful and popular (said with distress) and she is doing her best and she just wanted to do healing and said 'noooo' to murders and she cried about kacho and hates being called old and kurapika is the only one she can rely on and i'm gonna cry

more thoughts (not interesting) under the cut because this is an art blog but I am compelled to yell into the void about this chapter

man I was ready to be happy just to see Melody for one panel, but there was So Much in this chapter 🥺 feels like we're getting to see some new facets of her personality (see: Old Maid Melody lmaoo) and it's so fun

it was nice to see her and Kacho getting to interact a bit more openly - for some reason I was expecting nen-Kacho to be more of a separate entity, rather than the "brought back to life" kind of deal where she basically feels and acts like she's the same person? I like it though, I want to see her messing with Melody some more lol

I was wondering if Kurapika's goal might come up re: the fourth prince's invitation, but it seems like the immediate concern with Fugetsu takes priority, which makes sense Zhang Lei also wanting a private audience is interesting, I wonder if that could give her and Kurapika an opportunity to meet up and plan things out before she visits terrorsandwich? Before all that, though, they'd have to deal with Benjamin (assuming it's a first-rank-first-served kind of deal), no idea how that's gonna work out unless they actually pull off the Just Murder Everyone plan

also lmaooo the love confession 😂 one the one hand I feel like all her initial suspicion and mistrust towards glasses guy has to be a setup for him to actually be more honest than she expects, but I still can't help being a bit skeptical of him... both because there has to be something going on with the heartbeat thing, right?

and also, even if it is probably what's most practical for the situation, I'm not toootally sure if I love this "stop being sad and go use your powers to help us do murders" thing lol (granted kacho was very on board with both of those, too, but. idk man, maybe at least try to comfort her a little or something? xD)

that said, he is kind of risking his neck to help them, and i Am extremely in favor of anyone and everyone being in love with melody, so i appreciate him for that haha

okay, totally baseless "theory" #1: he's melody's dead sonata friend possessing the body (& therefore lying about the not believing in ghosts thing) - probably unlikely given Fugetsu is also said to be "possessed" and that looks very different, plus it sounds like that's something Melody should be able to notice? but it'd give him a genuine motive to help her out while lying through his teeth about all the details

or totally baseless theory #2: he's literally just a normal guy with a medical condition

melody: but I just don't get it, HOW can your heartbeat be so calm and steady all the time?!? kaiser: oh, cause of the pacemaker you mean? melody:

(**based on about 2 minutes of research I don't think that's quite how pacemakers work, but it's hxh universe, there could be Something)

(on an unrelated note, I also really liked Tyson in this chapter…sounds like she was basically pressured into a death battle she assumes she won't win, but she's still just out here baking birthday cakes and trying to have a good time :( rootin for her)

...and finally can I just say, even if there was a good reason for it, I think it's hilarious that Melody's reaction to someone liking her is just "hmm... 🤔 kinda sus" alternative responses to "i love you": "with a heart rhythm as precise as an atomic clock?! yeah right!"

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh chapter 400 #hxh chapter 400 spoilers #hxh spoilers #melody hxh #senritsu #rereading this and oh god i'm an embarrassing human being lmao #but it's been long enough that there's no point editing the wall of text to try and hide my shame #“i am cringe but i am free” or something #(that's a lie i am cringe and i am constantly judging myself through the eyes of imaginary people who think i'm just the worst)#(but that's a Me Problem™ dw about it lol)

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itsbeenliketenyearsitsprettywild · 1 year ago

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What if... Kazui’s victim WASN’T his wife?

So, I just connected some dots about Kazui’s videos and various points of symbolism in it, and If I’m right.. Kazui might’ve been pulling the wool over our eyes way further than we thought, guys. That is to say: What if his wife’s death was in reaction to his original murder?

(rest under readmore!)

Part 1: Kazui, René Magritte, and the Art of Misdirection

One of the things Cat made sure to make clear to the audience was that we have to take everything Kazui gives us with a major grain of salt. This is shown multiple ways; the illusionist persona he takes on for most of the video, the fast-paced sequences meant to obscure important details, the fact that it involves multiple René Magritte references, etc.

Though, speaking of René Magritte... anyone remember another of his famous works?

That’s right: Kazui’s mind might be feeding us a narrative more deceptive and treacherous than we think. And this will all unfortunately be ignoring the fact that ‘une pipe’ is French slang for ‘a blowjob’. don’t blame me, blame Kazui’s subconscious

Just to be clear: I still think the visuals Kazui gives us and the clues he sets up for us are very important to consider. It’s just that the obvious picture they paint isn’t entirely accurate.

After all, while he may be one of the prisoners that the narrative has been clear about being an intentional liar/deceiver, the way his mind portrays these deceptions is very different from how MILGRAM’s other liar, Shidou, goes out of his way to deceive us:

Shidou’s method of deception is more obvious while at the same time being more obtuse: he makes copious use of visual symbolism and metaphor. The building blocks he uses are, by their nature revealing to us his subjective feelings and personal truth with regards to a subject, while the objective reality of what happened takes a back seat. In doing so, he’s still honestly revealing that everything we’re seeing at a given moment is important. It’s just that, what anything we’re being shown is actually supposed to convey, that’s for us to work out.

In comparison, the way Kazui sets up his lies? Well, like any true illusionist, it’s all in the presentation and setup.

Part 2: The Man(’s Wife) Behind the Curtain

So, given that Prisoner 007’s main tactic for lying to us is misdirection, this means one big foundational aspect of truth is immediately doubtful: Anything Kazui directly tries to tell/convey to us is immediately questionable and likely not entirely accurate.

You see, one of the best ways a stage magician can misdirect an audience is through an misleading framing of events. They do this multiple ways - by stating what kind of trick they’re going to be pulling, letting the audience see what props they’re holding as the trick begins, and noting where the conceit of the trick isn’t (ie; the classic “Nothing up my sleeve!” line).

In doing so, the audience is primed to see everything they notice from a particular perspective. That way, even if they DO glance at the trick the magician is pulling, they’ll still be unlikely to understand exactly what they’re seeing and have ‘the magic ruined’ for them.

So, any big conceits and large framing devices Kazui draws our attention to probably aren’t being utilized the way they seem to be at face value. If we want to the truth, it’s gonna be in the slower moments where Kazui isn’t talking to us. Or, in the moments that he is, the most important parts are the little things that go by too fast for up to keep up with.

As an example, look back up at the most recent screenshot I posted. Notice anything that’s a bit harder to immediately parse compared to everything else?

Yep, that little French blurb tucked between all this bigger, flashier stuff. Just based on the captions, it’s easy to pin them as the lyrics translated to French, right?

Wrong.

While the lyrics and visuals seem to be painting a picture of Kazui eventually coming into conflict with his innocent wife, the second line in French... could almost be taken as a... statement of solidarity? It’s written in past tense (as compared to ‘we will be better’), but is still much more equal and affectionate on both sides than the simple ‘victim-criminal’ dynamic would lead one to infer.

Not to mention... wasn’t it implied they talked about all this and largely resolved it back in half?

And indeed, it was! Starting from 2:18 going to 2:36, we get the green apple (which seems to represent Kazui’s hidden nature) sitting on a table onstage with the spotlight shining directly on it. The truth about Kazui has been put front and center where it can readily be seen. And what do we see as we pull into the foreground?

Not a fight, or a clash, but Hinako reaching out and comforting Kazui.

For all he’s told us that confessing the truth is what lead to ‘her’ death, the actual (notably subdued and understated) moment we see where it seems like he’s finally admitted what he’s been hiding his entire life, she responds to his truth with a very small smile.

A hand on his cheek. More than anything else, it’s this moment that resonates with that ‘we would do better’ that Kazui tried to slide past our radar.

But if that’s the case, it raises a very important question: If it wasn’t actually the truth itself that caused everything come crashing down, what did? If this was still everything being fine...

Then, what moment was represented by all of this?

What, exactly, was this ‘dove’ Kazui tore apart with his teeth that drove his wife to react with horror and despair?

Part 3: Green, the color of hidden truths

For all that Kazui’s intentional deception of the viewer is near exclusively done through misdirecting the audience’s attention or misleading our perspective, there’s still a lot he’s only willing to tell us through symbolism. The most obvious case of this, of course, is Kazui’s green apple, reflecting his true nature he’s hidden away for most of his life.

But did you notice the color coding he also uses throughout most of Cat?

On the most basic level, we can see this utilized as a way to differentiate relevance to characters: Kazui represents himself with blue, and Hinako with pink.

See?

As such, the colors Kazui uses in backgrounds, in drawing characters, and to write out text can be very important in deciphering what everything is supposed to mean. The problem is that he uses a lot more colors besides just pink and blue, with us currently not knowing what any of the other colors mean.

...Well, besides green, at least. He’s already made it pretty obvious that green represents hidden things that Kazui (on some level) doesn’t want discovered.

...But, wait.

If so....

...Why is this one woman in the wedding audience wearing a green dress?

Most of y’all probably already know this, but I recently made a post where I drew the conclusion that she’s actually the wife of Kazui’s childhood friend, the bartender, with the bar scene in half being their introductory meeting so they could get to know each other better.

One of the things I didn’t bring up in that post was the fact that we seem to watch her get absolutely sloshed during it.

Which. Certainly is a choice? Going out all dressed up to where your hubby works, to meet the guy he’s been best friends with since childhood, and you decide the best way to make a first impression is to get hammered and start having to lean against this relative stranger just so you don’t fall off the stool?

Don’t worry, my theory isn’t going the roofie route, so no need to fret over that.

Instead, the question I started considering was, “Why would she feel the need to start drinking so much?” And, in general, there’s a few different reasons why someone might decide to get seriously inebriated; to blow off steam, to forget your problems, to fuel a budding alcohol addiction, etc.

But the reason that made the most sense to me in this context was drinking to settle the nerves.

Sometimes, when people feel tense or awkward when socializing, they’ll start drinking alcohol as a way to calm themselves down and make things less tense. Booze is a well-known social lubricant, after all; knock enough back and suddenly you’re everybody’s friend!

But, to feel the need to go that far just to keep up a conversation with the guy your husband is closest to... She must have felt REALLY uncomfortable, for some reason.

Which brings me back to her wearing the color of intentionally hidden secrets at Kazui’s wedding.

I think she had a feeling about Kazui’s true nature from when they first met. While the thought of it made her uncomfortable, largely as to what might mean for Kazui’s dynamic with her husband. However, she didn’t want to come out and confront him about it in such a public place (and where her spouse works, no less!), so instead she just kept drinking. The wedding... to be honest, I think the wedding reassured and assuaged her doubts for at least a little while.

After all, he and Hinako seemed to be seriously happy and in love! It wouldn’t feel anywhere near as sincere if the groom was secretly ‘like that’, right?

And at some point during that time (don’t remember if we’ve been given an official marriage length for them or not; please let me know if we have) Kazui confessed the truth to Hinako, who largely just took it in stride and stayed by his side through thick and thin.

‘It’ only occurred after all that had already happened.

What’s ‘it’, you ask?

Well... the truth is, I have no way of knowing precisely what ‘it’ was; it’s the biggest truth Kazui is hiding from us, after all, and a magician would never reveal his secrets so easily. What I do know is that it likely involved the bartender’s wife directly confronting Kazui, with Kazui doing something drastic in return, likely to better keep his secret hidden.

And, for all I can’t tell you precisely what ‘it’ was, whether ‘it’ was threatening someone or the actual murder Kazui was put in Milgram for, I CAN readily point you to how Kazui viewed ‘it’:

And it was only after discovering whatever the above represents that we see Hinako react like this:

But, with all this in mind, I think Hinako’s potential... murder? suicide? whatever it was? ... is far less about whatever ‘green apple’ Kazui was hiding, and far more about how far he was willing to go to keep it hidden.

TL;DR: In keeping audience misdirection in mind, Hinako finding out about Kazui’s true nature more than likely isn’t what lead to the ‘murder’ Kazui is in Milgram for. If anything, it was likely the wife of his childhood friend confronting Kazui about his secret that lead to where things ended up; from what we can tell, Kazui had already told his wife his secret, and that hadn’t pushed her away.

#MILGRAM #MILGRAM project #Kazui mukuhara #kazui milgram #man it sure would be nice if my weird sense of intuition turned out to be correct for like the 3rd time in my entire life

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cold-heart-warm-writings · 2 years ago

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Anime I think each of the Host Club members would like:

Tamaki - Your Lie in April - Classical music, young love, the focus on the piano, and the touch of devastation? He’s grabbing the tissues and holding Haruhi extra tight the next time he sees her. He watches it every April.

Kyoya - Death Note - It’s secretly a partial autobiography, but the ending had to be changed with Light getting caught because if he wasn’t, then people would be on the hunt for Kyoya, and between Tamaki, the Host Club, and being the best in class, he doesn’t want the Japanese police force annoying him too.

Haruhi - Skull-face Bookseller Honda-san - This is a very lowkey and chill anime based on the real life experiences of the author. I think Haruhi would jive with the low intensity, big bookworm vibes, “are you shitting me right now?” experiences. Haruhi could probably relate on some level with being in the Host Club. It’s her favorite series to have on in the background while cleaning.

Hikaru - Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun - Hanako-kun is a little shit, and so is Hikaru. The colors are bright, the antics are funny, and there are also a few intense moments he would get wrapped up in.

Kaoru - Sword Art Online - Kaoru would enjoy the initial video game/virtual reality setup of the anime, and would get sucked in by the characters passing levels and moving through the game. He can describe in detail every arc to anyone who dares ask, and by less than halfway through, the person doesn’t bother to ask him if there are any other anime he likes. (Which is all according to plan, because he’s also a big romance fan, but he needs to keep up his image. He’s obsessed with Toradora)

Honey - Attack on Titan - Is it cute and cuddly? No. But does it feature a badass short guy who absolutely wrecks everyone’s shit and is known for being the World’s Strongest? Yes. Dispel the thought that Honey is only into cutesy things.

Mori - Demon Slayer! - The animation and the colors are insaaane, add to that all of the different fighting techniques? Mori’s hooked. He has a crush on the butterfly girl, Shinobu Kocho (but honestly, who doesn’t).

Bonus - Renge - Fruits Basket - She envisions herself as Tohru, though this girl would NOT be able to survive outside in a tent, bathing in the river. But all the male characters and very few female characters? Yaaaah, she’s happy with this show. Bonus x 2 - her favorite is Ayame.

#i only got a few eps into sao dont @me plz #ohshc #ouran high school host club #ouran host club #ouran headcanons #hikaru hitachiin #kaoru hitachiin #tamaki suoh #kyoya ootori #haruhi fujioka #mitskuni haninozuka #takashi morinozuka #renge houshakuji

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keef-a-corn · 2 years ago

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Welcome back to Keef rewatching TFP and writing down notes.

I will now be writing notes for Episode 7: Scrap Heap.

I put in timestamps so when you watch the show, you get a bit of context, but I also watch Transformers Prime on Stan which may lead to it being a bit off.

ONTO THE NOTES!

~~~~Transition~~~~

00:42 - excuse me little one… why must you look so cute?

00:53 - this is setup and yet it apparently isn’t permanent damage?

00:57 - Excuse me… OUR ARCTIC FIND?! OUR?! Optimus, I love you but you were not involved in finding that.

01:01 - how on Earth did they get that back there? (Someone genuinely answer me. How did they do it?)

~intro~

02:12 - again with the ‘our’.

02:21 - this part made me wonder where Bulkhead and Bumblebee’s insignia were. I found Bulkhead’s pretty easily (it’s on his arm), but it took me three days to find Bumblebee’s (I’m not kidding), but in my defence.. there are very few shots that make it clear where his was and it’s unnecessarily small. (For anyone curious:

02:31 - that’s my brother to me.

02:49 - ya know, you could just make friends, Jack, then you wouldn’t rely on an Autobot (that has a job to do) to keep you company.

03:00 - mmm Optimus, so formal

03:03 - in… the Arctic? I mean… maybe..?

03:17 - Optimus is a father (hc is that he’s the father of Bumblebee but gotta keep it vague.). From how he’s careful on turning down Raf, to the promise of a snowball, this isn’t the first time that a child he’s sworn to protect has to be told they cannot join.

03:19 - hehehe height differences.

03:35 - How do the bots play video games? Like when their in bot forms. I get in their alt modes they just hook it up to their steering wheels, but how do they do it bipedal mode?/gen

03:39 - I just noticed- Bee’s eyes aren’t filled in.

03:50 - I understand why Miko has no other friends. Completely ignores Raf in favour of challenging Jack, who isn’t interested in playing.

04:06 - Jack displaying good friendship skills and noticing that Raf wanted to play.

04:15 - Miko says ‘hoo yeah’ why does that feel so familiar?

04:20 - yes the frag he can, Bulk.

04:23 - Ratchet’s slow to anger here. Just wanted to share.

04:53 - THAT’S A VERY BIG SCREW-

05:41 - And here we see a Raf, not using common sense. Autobots never mentioned pets, yet this thing consumes metal without a second thought.. they obviously aren’t pets!

06:13 - Jack had already won. That’s why he was doing a victory dance-

06:19 - BEE, WHY ARE YOU STANDING LIKE THAT?!

Yes Ratchet, we do have a problem. Why is he standing like that, he’s not close enough for that to be(e) an effective stance.

06:33 - okay, but that would be horrifying. Like this little kid walks in holding a pest that eats you alive? That’s traumatising.

06:36 - I saw someone do a breakdown of this shot, how Bulk hides behind Ratchet, while Bee stands in front, most likely protecting Ratchet because Bee knows Ratchet doesn’t have weapons to protect himself. I just think about that.

06:38 - WHY ARE YOU GUYS PROTECTING THE SCRAPLET?! Oh wait- they’re protecting Raf.. okay I’m an idiot.

06:51 - Shut up, Miko and Jack. Human’s aren’t immune to smaller beings eating them to death.

07:01 - Raf, WHERE HAS YOUR BRAIN GONE?!

07:12 - once again, horrifying if you were a bot.

07:21 - the scraplet… ate through his hand.. right? Like Bee didn’t let go, that little shit ate through his hand.

07:23 - What would you even do in that situation?!

07:28 - FINALLY THE HUMANS DO SOMETHING!

07:35 - Okay but Jack saw what the scraplet did to Bee, right? Like it was dangerous. It should’ve been completely destroyed.

07:39 - Raf remembers his best friend exists.

07:43 - it’s probably just me, but Bee looks so small in this situation. Literally and Metaphorically. He looks tiny in size when you compare it to Ratchet and Bulkhead looming over him, but also small and innocent.

07:44 - Also it’s so weird seeing a bot sit like that. I mean, it’s cute, it’s just that I’m so used to them standing or sitting on objects that seeing Bee sitting on the ground like that looks a little peculiar.

07:48 - ‘only a Mesh wound. He’ll live.’ Remember that line… remember it. Also during that Ratchet’s carefully holding Bee’s leg, I know he’s just inspecting it like a doctor does, but he’s clearly being as careful as possible and combined with his tone, it makes Ratchet seem like a concerned parent.

08:00 - Why would Jack actually think that was the logic Scraplets went by? WHEN IS THAT EVER THE LOGIC SMALL CREATURES GO BY?!

08:02 - Glad Ratchet ain’t sugar coating this./g

08:16 - 1. Bee hiding behind Ratchet is adorable, 2. THAT’S WOULD GENUINELY BE TERRIFYING!

08:19 - Bee moves to hold onto Ratchet’s arm! I’m crying!

09:09 - once again.. Terrifying. But didn’t they survive in space? Or are there also other features as to why they can’t survive in the Arctic? Would it have something to do with oxygen and pressure?

09:13 - Optimus, in a state of mild confusion, chooses to move his body further away from the ice. A peculiar choice on his part, but alright.

09:28 - HE SAID THE THING!

09:30 - everyone when spider.

09:33 - it’s depressing to think that throughout the entire situation the bots are fulling aware that Optimus and Arcee are most likely going to die.

09:50 - So them running would be seen as cowardly, but when Bulkhead shares that they’ve witnessed what Scraplets can do.. that’s horrifying. The bots wanting to run makes perfect sense.

09:55 - … so… that’s why the scraplet didn’t immediately eat through Bee’s leg… because it was going for a more delicious part of him first-

10:09 - also how are you supposed to react to that information??

10:21 - understandable.

10:37 - Who ever chose for Bumblebee to shudder like that.. I hope you’re always sleeping wonderfully.

10:55 - Optimus helping her up is just a sweet moment… Also wouldn’t they be better to remain in vehicle mode?

11:09 - ‘and he will’ Optimus knows his husband will come to their aid ASAP. (They are husbands. We all know this.)

11:19 - Miko making fun of Bulkhead for screaming when they’re looking for bugs that are known to kill bots… I truly understand why Miko has no friends.

11:51 - that would be like walking into a spiderweb.

12:09 - and then finding out the spiderweb was full of spiders.

13:39 - Oh frag.. I’m surprised no one craps themselves in this episode.

12:46 - NO, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU DO IN THAT SITUATION?!

13:08 - Oh fuck.

13:12 - What kind of vision do the Scraplets have?!! Also Jack’s holding Metal in that scene, why don’t they see it???

13:33 - I ask once more WHAT DO YOU DO IN THAT SITUATION?!

13:48 - NOW HE CHOSES TO MENTION IT?! Also Ratchet’s V.A. did a great job conveying how panicked Ratchet would’ve been.

13:53 - that must hurt so badly.

14:24 - Bulkhead previously said that they eat the small juicy parts first… and every time we see the three bots in the same room, their first target is Bee. They’re going after the small part first-

14:41 - okay, but this scene is so uncomfortably terrifying. Hearing the bots yelling in pain, seeing all the Scraplets burried into their metal, the way no one can do anything… that’s horrifying.

14:55 - Optimus being responsible and keeping Arcee awake.

15:04 - Let’s just appreciate Optimus for a moment. This bot’s also freezing to death, doesn’t understand why they can’t get in touch with base, but manages to remain level headed.

15:12 - honestly though, sounds like a good idea for Arcee to just start rambling on angrily, because that’ll keep her awake.

15:17 - Optimus refusing to believe that this is someone’s fault.

15:34 - I know this probably isn’t, but it sounds so much like a references to the first Transformers movie.

15:48 - Optimus saying ‘one should not be measured by size alone’ is actually really sweet and inclusive.

15:50 - shoutout to bot’s sitting on the floor, gotta be one of my favourite genders.

15:54 - Miko and Raf standing their beating the shit out of some dead scraplets is beautiful.

15:58 - let’s appreciate what we can observe from this part. Ratchet and Bulkhead sitting on either side of Bee, sitting as upright as manageable, while Bee is more lying down than he is sitting up. If you look carefully you can see the bots are moving as though they’re breathing.

16:05 - once again, horrifying.

16:15 - ‘these were just scouts’ then the shot moves to Bumblebee’s reaction.

16:57 - Bee trying to sit up but immediately falling back makes my heart hurt. Baby nooo.

17:10 - SERIOUSLY THAT WOULD BE TERRIFYING TO WITNESS.

17:22 - I’m so confused on what energon is. That pipe indicates it’s a liquid, but they mine energon crystals, they’re bright blue when the bots use it, but dark blue everywhere else.

17:25 - I think Bee’s asleep.

17:36 - why would you bring your bots in first??

17:36 - Never mind, he’s awake. Also Ratchet and Bulkhead talking about Bee reminds me of when a child sneaks into their parents bed at night.

17:42 - exactly.

17:44 - aww noo! Ratchet! He needs a nap

18:06 - this shot makes me cry. No! Why he gotta look so scared!! Also there’s a line through the main cord(?) is Bee’s neck. It appears to be the only indicator that there’s been anything to any part of his neck… so is that where his voice box is?

18:16 - you already know Optimus is thinking ‘shut up, Arcee. Trying to die in peace’. The bot’s tired, Arcee, give him a bit of peace.

18:29 - I need someone to write an extended part of this episode where all the bots get a nap… like they all just huddle together in blankets and pillows and get the nap they deserve. Don’t care if canon says it’s not possible. I am god now and I say it is.

18:41 - this is sweet.

18:55 - GIVE THIS BOT A NAP.

19:26 - Bulkhead’s brave af.

19:27 - Bee sits up.

19:26 - Ratchet pushes him back down.

19:56 - Optimus and Arcee aren’t nearly as hot as Bee, Bulk and Ratchet. Good touch.

20:10 - Damn.. that would be so confusing to be in Optimus or Arcee’s position.

20:35 - where did Bee’s wings go??

20:41 - shoutout to the way Optimus is sitting. Half leaning, half sitting, looking very uncomfortable.

20:48 - ‘jUsT a MeSh WoUnD�� not just a mesh wound now, Ratchet,

20:57 - Optimus lookin out for Ratchet U^U

21:00 - Optimus smiling at Ratchet makes breathing a difficult task.

21:27 - Optimus and Ratchet look at each other, then back at Miko and Bulk.

And that was my comments on Scrapheap. An episode more messed up when you break it down.

Lemme know if you thought differently/disagree with my points/have more to add.

I like hearing other peoples perspectives.

Also, This was my review of Episode 6:

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fitrahgolden · 9 months ago

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Hold My Hand, I'll Walk With You: A Weary Memory Prequel

[NOTE: This is a short prequel to my previous story, Weary Memory. You don’t need to have read it (but you should know that in this AU the timeline of their parents’ deaths is very different from canon). This is simply a very fluffy “when Kate met Anthony” story.

Title is from “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men, lyrics by Nanna Bryndís Hilmarsdóttir and Ragnar Þórhallsson.]

Kate knew she should get back to socialising. She’d been having a genuinely good time at her first house party since moving to Oxford a few weeks ago. She mingled. She danced. She got loads of unsolicited advice from older students.

She'd taken a break from the nonstop conversations and stationed herself next to the chocolate fountain because, well, she wasn't expecting a chocolate fountain at a university party, and now the delicious setup was too good to abandon.

She was deciding between pineapple, strawberry, and angel food cake when a voice beside her broke through the homogenised hum of the party.

“I’d go with the pineapple,” he said, his tone suggesting he thought he was really helping her out.

Kate looked up and observed the stranger through narrow eyes before plucking a strawberry from the tray. She made a show of holding the fruit underneath the flowing chocolate, then stepped aside and waved a hand towards the space in front of the buffet she’d just vacated.

“Be my guest,” she said with a supercilious smile before taking a bite. She hadn’t meant to be this bold, keeping eye contact with a handsome man while eating a chocolate covered strawberry. Perhaps she was pulling it off, if the way he looked back at her was any indication. At least she managed not to roll her eyes back and moan like a proper seductress.

He looked away from her to pay attention to the spread, and Kate took the opportunity to shake herself out of whatever had moved her to be so brazen. She sipped the dregs of her drink and avoided watching him eat, but looked back at him just in time to see him lick some chocolate off of his thumb. Oh, give me a break.

“Can I help you with anything? Get you another drink?”

Kate shook her head, placing her glass down. “No, I’m good for now.”

He nodded, apparently losing none of the confidence he seemed to have a bit too much of. “Are you here with anyone?”

“One of my housemates.” Kate looked beyond him to quickly survey the room. “Well, she's here somewhere. She knows someone who knows…um, whose ever flat this is.”

“Bert Fife and Caleb Cho,” the man provided helpfully.

“Ah. I take it that you actually know them?”

“Sometimes I wish I didn’t, but yes. You, uh… You danced with Caleb earlier, actually.”

“Ha, did I really?”

“Yeah.” He pointed out the man in question across the room.

“Oh, him. Right. What a slag. I'll dance with anyone. Names are optional.”

“I wasn't–I mean…” He suddenly looked sheepish. “I just happened to notice you before. And now, I guess. You're very…noticeable.” The loss of some of his swagger was kind of adorable to witness.

“Am I?”

He nodded, running a hand through his hair. “Which makes me think this must be your first year. Or maybe you're a transfer, a Cambridge escapee? I haven't seen you around.”

Kate could not have stopped the laugh that bubbled out of her if she tried. “You haven't seen me around? That's hardly surprising in a sea of thousands of students, is it?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“No. No, I suppose it's not.” A hint of a wince pulled at his lips.

“Would you like to try a different line? Perhaps one better suited for the environment?” Kate asked encouragingly.

“Oh, think I'm trying to chat you up, do you?” His casual tone was betrayed by the blush creeping up his neck and the tips of his ears.

Kate’s own confidence shook a bit. Could I really be misreading this? “Surely, you can understand why I'd think that.”

Anthony took an eager step towards her. “Oh, absolutely. Mostly because I am, but it doesn't seem to be going too well.”

“No, but not too poorly, either.” She touched his shoulder. He looked at her hand and back at her.

“Oh? Care to help me out at all?”

Kate dropped her hand, and picked up her empty glass for something to fiddle with. “You could just ask me my name. It's not terribly creative, but you’ll find I'm a fan of practicality over flair.”

“Ah. Very helpful, indeed.”

There were several beats where they said nothing, just looked at each other.

Kate bobbed her head in confusion. “Well?”

“I can't very well ask immediately after you tell me to, now can I?” His smile was sly.

With a roll of her eyes, Kate asked, “What's your name, then?”

“Wait– Are you chatting me up?”

“Possibly.” Kate shrugged, trying her damndest to remain breezy.

“I'm Anthony.”

“Anthony?” she asked, with a hard “th.”

He shook his head.

“Anthony,” he enunciated. “With a ‘ta.’“

The way Anthony exaggerated the consonant sound drew Kate's attention to his mouth and the way his tongue peeked out just a little from between his teeth. I wonder if that's a move. He has lines, so surely he also has moves. I bet that “with a ‘ta'” nonsense is the only reason he pronounces it that way.

Kate realised too late her gaze was lingering on his mouth, looking up only once Anthony started smirking. And I totally fell for it, damn him.

Anthony with a “ta” put a hand on the wall behind Kate, and his forearm brushed against her shoulder as he leaned forward. “Would you like me to demonstrate again? Up close this time?”

Kate rolled her eyes. Definitely a move. “No, thanks. I'm a quick study, Anthony.” She noted it must work both ways, judging by how Anthony's eyes darted down to her lips. “Sounds quite posh, pronounced the proper way. Suits you.”

“Why doesn't that sound like a compliment?”

Kate tilted her head to one side, and Anthony seemed to reflexively tilt his head the same way as his eyes stayed trained on hers. “Perhaps because it isn't.”

“Well, if your name isn't the epitome of humbleness, I'll be very disappointed.”

“Kate,” she said simply. “Unassuming enough for you?”

He didn’t respond immediately. His eyes were roaming her face. Once his gaze fell back to hers, he said, “I think it's beautiful. Suits you.”

Kate looked down at her feet, unsure how to respond to that.

“Did I just lose points?” The question was laced with genuine concern.

“No.” Kate shook her head and looked back up at Anthony. “No, that was…sweet. I'll reward you by telling you you were right.”

“I love hearing that.”

“I'm not even a little bit surprised.”

“What specifically am I right about, though?”

“I am a first year.”

“What are you going to study?”

“Fine art.”

Anthony lit up. “Oh, yeah? My brother’s in London at the Royal College of Art. He’s brilliant.”

“Oh, cool.” Please don’t try to set me up with you brother. “And what about you?”

“Creative writing.”

“Ooh, you’re a writer.”

“Eh, at this point calling myself a writer would be an insult to writers, I think. But, someday soon, I hope. My family owns a publishing company, so I’ll have a huge audience anticipating my failure.”

Kate furrowed her brows. “Not your family, surely.”

“No, no. My parents are…stiflingly supportive. I mean everyone else at the company. They’re certain I wouldn’t have a prayer without having my family to publish my work.”

Kate said nothing, but he must have read her face.

“You think they’re right,” he said, smiling.

Kate raised her hands, “Look, I don’t know you. You could be brilliant. But nepotism is alive and well, is all.”

Anthony nodded. “No, I understand. I can’t deny I’m in a very privileged position.”

“At least you’re aware. The bar is low, but that’s not nothing.”

Their conversation moved along easily, at a fast clip. Kate eventually felt comfortable enough to let Anthony get her another drink. About an hour later, they were still talking, side by side against a wall in the corner, their arms brushing.

“Hey,” Anthony whispered as he turned to look at Kate.

“Yes?”

“Would it be alright if I kissed you?”

A surprised laugh escaped her without her permission. Anthony seemed unfazed. He just continued to search her eyes with his, waiting.

“Yeah,” Kate whispered. The room might have been too loud for Anthony to even hear her. “That would be alright.”

She leaned toward him and he met her in the middle. It was soft and tentative. Certainly softer than Kate thought he would kiss her, because she had definitely been thinking about it for the better part of their conversation, and hoped he had been to.

After the first careful meeting, Anthony put a hand up to Kate's jaw, slaying his fingers over her cheek and throat, but applying no pressure, not until his thumb pressed down just beneath her bottom lip, and Kate opened her mouth in response. It was too loud to hear their sighs and moans, so they relied on the accompanying vibrations for feedback. Presumably feeling the need to breathe, Anthony started to back away. Kate let him go, but not before nipping his bottom lip.

“...Kit,” he groaned.

Kate tutted, and their noses brushed as she shook her head. “And things were going so well. Already calling me the wrong name?”

“Never.” Anthony looked dazed. “No one calls you that?”

“No,” she laughed, bemused. “Why would they?”

“I don't know. It just…” He looked down at her lips and made a lazy path back up to her eyes. “...feels right.”

“Because your last Kate was called Kit?” It was a joke, but it sounded a bit too mean to her ears when she heard it come out of her mouth. Anthony didn't seem offended, though. Maybe there was a last Kate. His gaze was piercing when he responded.

“As far as I'm concerned, no other Kate exists.”

Oh.

“I have to give it to you, being renamed after one kiss, that's a new one for me,” Kate said, trying to regain her footing.

“Me, too.” He absentmindedly twisted a lock of her hair around his finger, threatening to throw her right back off balance. “Can I keep calling you that?”

“I think…” Kate started, but cleared her throat when her voice sounded annoyingly breathless. “Whether I want you to keep calling me anything at all remains to be seen.”

“That's fair. I think you like it, though.” He was obviously quite pleased with himself.

“I…” Kate tried her best to muster a glare. “It remains to be seen,” she repeated weakly.

Anthony’s smile was warm. “May I take you somewhere?”

Kate’s eyebrows shot up. “Um… Where were you thinking?”

“The White Rabbit, have you heard of it? It’s close.”

While Kate thought about it, Anthony quickly added, “Or I could just drop you off at yours, and we could talk more on the way.”

“Let me see your licence.” Kate held her hand out as Anthony dutifully dug for his wallet. She exaggeratedly scrutinised the card. “Alright, Anthony…Bridgerton. I’d love some real food. I'm just gonna take a picture of you to send to my housemates.”

Anthony backed up so Kate could take a picture, but he kept making faces, and she couldn’t stop laughing.

“Stop posing!” Kate commanded. “Think of this as a passport photo.

“My passport photo is amazing, actually.”

“Ugh, shut up.” Kate sent the photo she deemed most appropriate to her housemates’ text thread.

>> Leaving the party with this bloke, Anthony Bridgerton. DO wait up.

Kate looked up from her phone to see Anthony looking at her, seemingly impressed.

“What?”

“I need to remember to tell my sisters to pick up the same habit.”

Kate nodded vigorously. “Please do. So, a brother and at least two sisters. How many siblings do you have?”

“Seven.”

“Fuck off.” Kate covered her mouth as Anthony barked out a laugh.“I mean, no disrespect to your parents, but…damn.”

—

Anthony was thankful that the pub wasn’t too busy. He led Kate to a booth and had to suppress a grin when Kate pulled him down to sit on her side. They didn’t move from their seats until it was closing time.

“Let me take you home,” he said after he closed out their tab and they started walking towards the door.

Kate hesitantly took his hand, squeezing when he did.

“OK.”

—

It seemed unbelievable that they had more to talk about on the drive to her house, but they did. Along the way, Anthony inched his hand onto Kate’s thigh, smiling smugly to himself when she squirmed a little and rested her hand on top of his. Again, the time passed too quickly, and before he knew it, she was pointing out her house and he was pulling up to the curb.

“Can I have your number?” Kate asked as the car came to a stop, surprising him.

He laughed as he ran a finger under his bottom lip. “Damn, Kit. You beat me to it.”

“Is that a yes, then?” He’d say yes to anything if she smiled at him like that. He was sure of it.

“Yes, please.”

When Kate passed Anthony her phone, he chuckled when he saw she filled in his name as “Anthony with a ‘ta.’” Once they’d shared numbers, they sat in silence, looking at each other like idiots. Finally, Kate sighed.

“I’m gonna go.” There was no conviction in her voice. In fact, it almost sounded like a question.

“OK.”

“Thanks for dinner.”

“Thanks for letting me take you.”

More silence. The mood in the car was odd, but not uncomfortably so. Anthony just didn’t want the night to end yet, so she was going to have to make the first move.

And she did, but it was not the move he was expecting.

She leaned across the centre console, threw her arms around him, and kissed him.

It was hard to keep up with everything as it happened. Anthony slid his seat backward, too slow for Kate who was already clambering into his lap. He could feel her undoing the buttons of his shirt while he was preoccupied with pulling out the elastic that was holding most of her hair back. Anthony threaded his fingers through her tresses until he reached the nape of her neck. He gripped it tightly as his tongue slid across her lips and into her mouth. Kate whined, grinding down on him as she sucked on his tongue. He slid his other hand along the outside of her thigh, her skirt having almost completely ridden up to her waist, then he pulled back to gasp in some air.

“Can I come inside?” he asked before bringing their lips back together.

She sighed back at him. “No.”

He kissed her jaw, her neck, her shoulder.

“Can I take you to mine instead? I don’t have housemates.”

“Good to know, but not tonight.”

The sound he made was somewhere between a chuckle and a groan as he matched her grinding with his own.

“Tell me what I can do, then, Kit. Please,” he whispered into her hair.

She pulled back. They were both panting as she seemed to think about it. “You can call me Kit.” Her eyes sparkled playfully as she bit into her swollen lip.

“Good.” Both of his hands found her arse, and he kneaded it through the soft cotton material that covered it. “Anything else?”

“Text me,” she almost moaned.

He smiled as their foreheads rested against each other. “OK, I can do that.”

Kate brought both hands to Anthony’s face and brushed a finger across his lips, concentrating, perhaps debating something. “I really am going to go.” She looked up from his lips to his eyes.

“OK.” Anthony pulled her in for a kiss goodbye. She put a hand against his chest, as if it was a necessary measure to stop herself from falling back into him. After one last kiss to her temple, he let his arms fall to his sides. “Goodnight, Kit.”

Kate climbed out of his lap with as much grace as someone of her stature could manage in such a cramped space. She took a few moments to sort her clothes out before turning towards him.

“Goodnight, Anthony.”

With that, she was out of his chair and in a few steps, she was at her front door, keys in hand.

Anthony watched from his car. Turn around. Turn around.

Kate opened the door and disappeared. She hadn't turned around. He smiled to himself.

Next time.

—

“This isn't a text.”

Anthony clinched his jaw as he held the phone against his ear. Kate’s voice was heavy and warm. He imagined her still in bed despite the late hour, like he was, and found himself very interested in what her bedroom might look like. Jesus Christ. A couple of words from her, and my cock is already twitching.

“Want me to hang up?” he asked.

“You wouldn't,” she haughtily challenged.

“I'd certainly hate to. Good morning, Kit.” Kit. He had no idea where that name came from last night, when he’d put his lips on Kate’s for the first time, but it felt good to say it. He’d chanted it over and over again when he got home last night and promptly finished what they’d started in his car.

“Good morning, Anthony with a ‘ta.’”

He could hear her smiling. This woman would be the death of him. Of that, he was certain.

“How did you sleep?” Don’t leave out any details.

“Not great.”

Anthony frowned. “No?”

“It's not a big deal. I'm used to it.”

There was something there, he could tell. “I'm sorry.”

“Thanks. Are you desperately trying to resist making a joke about helping me sleep?”

“It’s a bit early in the day for me to be desperate.” Tell that to your dick. “And Kit?”

“Yeah?”

“It wouldn't be a joke.” He was rewarded with a soft gasp. Anthony had gotten the impression that Kate was not often left speechless. “Let's go out tonight. Are you free?”

“You're serious?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

“We just met yesterday.”

“Yes, I was there. And?”

“You really want to see me again so soon?”

What? He sighed, running his hand over his face in contemplation. “My gut tells me you aren't fishing for compliments–”

“I'm not!”

“Well, frankly,” he laughed, “that would be more believable than you actually being surprised that I want to go out with you. Last night was amazing. For me, anyway.”

“Me, too.”

Oh, thank fuck.

“Then I'll ask again. Can I see you tonight?”

“You can see me tonight.”

A knot in his stomach loosened. He'd never been this keen to go out with someone before. His brothers would have a field day with this.

—

Kate and Anthony settled on a walk through the botanical gardens then a film at the Ultimate Picture Palace. The theatre was relatively empty, and halfway through a movie they had both already seen, Anthony, who had been lightly running his fingers up and down Kate's neck, whispered into her ear.

“Would it be terribly cliché of me to kiss the fuck out of you right now?”

“Yes,” Kate hissed, trying not to laugh, a laugh that died as soon Anthony lightly grasped her chin and angled it towards him.

“Can I do it anyway?”

Kate swallowed and nodded.

“Stay quiet, OK, Kit?”

Somehow, she did. They both did.

—

“Where to next?” Kate asked as they settled back into Anthony’s car.

“Oh, um…” Anthony was surprised, as it had felt like the night was winding down. “Am I taking you home?”

“You could…” Kate shrugged, ��but if I remember correctly, which may not be the case as you were pulling down the neckline of my shirt with your teeth at the time, you said live alone.”

“I do,” Anthony confirmed, his voice strained.

“Granted, it’s been about twenty-four hours, but are you still interested in taking me to yours?”

“Very.” He’d answered so quickly, he surprised himself.

“Good.”

—

“I knew your place would be posh,” Kate teased as she took off her shoes and Anthony closed the door behind them.

He turned her around and pulled her so they were chest to chest. “Would you like a tour?”

She felt his hands sliding down her back and over her hips. “Yeah, I’d love one,” she said, unable to stop her giggle.

Anthony kissed his way along her jaw up to her ear before gruffly saying, “Then I’ll give you one tomorrow.”

Then his lips and teeth and tongue were mingling with hers as he pushed her backwards, walking her further into his flat. It didn’t take long before Kate was pressed up against a door. Her hands drifted down to Anthony’s belt, but before she could undo it, he grasped her wrists.

“Not yet, Kit,” he said in a rough whisper before bringing her wrists to his lips and kissing each one. He flashed her a roguish smirk as he sank to his knees before her. His expression changed to something tender and reverent. “Can I?” he asked, running a hand slowly up the inside of her leg.

Kate released a shuddering breath and nodded. “Yes.”

Anthony’s motions were fluid as he pushed her dress up, pulled her knickers down, and lifted a leg of hers onto his shoulder.

Soon, Kate was scrambling to hold on to the wall, the doorjamb, something, anything for support. With the hand that wasn’t teasing her clit, Anthony found and held on to one of Kate’s, intertwining their fingers and eventually guiding her hand into his hair. Kate obediently curled her fingers and held on. The moan that came from Anthony vibrated through her, to great effect.

“Use both hands if you need to,” he said before closing his mouth over her again.

She nodded vigorously as she combed her other hand into his hair, pulling when a manoeuvre of his surprised her in the best way possible, and she choked out a sob. When her climax hit her, she leaned over, and Anthony slayed a hand across her chest to hold her up as he rode her orgasm out with her, keeping up his attentions until Kate had to push him away, suddenly too sensitive to handle it. Kate wasn't a virgin, and a couple of guys had gone down on her in the past. But it had never been anything like that. Perhaps this was a perk of Anthony being three years older than her. Maybe it was a more significant age gap than she initially thought.

Anthony stood back up slowly, kissing her torso over her clothes until he was completely upright. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck.

“Can you walk?”

Even though his tone was sweet, Kate wanted to roll her eyes. But frankly, no, she couldn’t walk. “Mm-mm.” She shook her head lazily. “I live against this door now.”

Anthony chuckled–the smug bastard– as he took a step back and placed his hands firmly on her hips.

“Jump.”

“What?”

“I’ll carry you. Jump.”

Feeling just a little bit silly, Kate jumped, and gasped when Anthony slid his hands under her bum and pulled her up so her legs wrapped around his waist on instinct. Her arms went around his neck.

“Good girl.”

Anthony opened the door he had taken her up against, revealing his bedroom. Not that Kate was taking in much of her surroundings. She was still blissed out when he laid her down on his bed.

“Are you alright?” he asked, sat beside her on the mattress, tracing his fingers across her collarbones.

“Yeah. Why are you still dressed?”

He laughed and stood up. He held her gaze as he undressed.

He’s beautiful.

Once he was naked, he crawled onto the bed and encouraged Kate to sit up so he could pull her dress over her head, leaving just her bra, which she quickly got rid of with an air of confidence that she didn’t quite feel.

At first, they just looked at each other, letting their eyes wander. Then Anthony leaned towards the nightstand beside Kate and grabbed a condom out of the drawer. He tossed it onto the bed before taking Kate’s face in his hands and kissing her soundly.

“Come here,” he whispered.

Anthony pulled Kate up to her knees and guided her until she was straddling him. He kissed her again before reaching for the condom. Kate lightly grabbed his wrist.

“Can I put it on?”

Anthony smiled at her as he tore the packet open and handed it to her. Kate reached below herself and started stroking him. They were panting in time with her hand and Anthony vigorously shook his head. “Fuck, you’ve got to stop, baby. I’m ready.”

Kate rolled the condom on and sunk down onto him. As soon as she was fully seated, Anthony started moving. She cradled his head in her arms, muttering in Tamil as occasional expletives fell from Anthony’s mouth. Suddenly, he pushed her onto her back. He slammed into her faster and harder as he pinned her arms above her head.

“Is this OK?” he gritted out between his teeth.

Kate nodded.

“Kit?”

“Yes, fuck!”

Holding her wrists in one hand, Anthony used the other between her legs, moving it relentlessly until she was crying out again, turning into putty beneath him. About a minute later, he followed suit, groaning, cursing, repeating her name–well, his name for her.

“Kit, Kit, Kit.”

—

Anthony was startled awake by the sound of clattering coming from his kitchen. A second clang was accompanied by a harsh, “Aiyoh!”

After donning some underwear and a pair of tracksuit bottoms, Anthony set off to find Kate. She was at his stove, wearing her bra and some gym shorts of his, cinched to within an inch of their life just above her hips. It was perhaps the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. Whatever mess she had made of the pots and pans had been cleaned up, the kettle was on, and Kate was leaning over a frying pan.

“I feel like I should be making you breakfast the first time you stay at my flat.”

The first time. He probably shouldn’t have said that. He didn’t want to scare her off. But if his phrasing bothered her, Kate was good at hiding it. She looked up and smiled at him.

“Well, consider yourself in my debt, then.”

“Gladly.” Anthony wrapped an arm around her waist and murmured into her ear. “How soon can I make it up to you?” Her hair was gathered at the top of her head, and he nuzzled her neck as his hands wandered until she took a step away from him.

“Don’t distract me, Bridgerton. The tea is already going to be shitty. I can't even approximate proper chai since all you have is peppercorns and stale cinnamon sticks.”

“Hey, how many twenty year olds do you know who have any whole spices at all?”

“Loads. I’m Indian.”

“Point taken. What are you making?”

“Hotcakes. I make amazing hotcakes. At least, I do when–”she smacked his hand away from her arse “–I don’t have a sex pest at my back.”

“Sorry,” Anthony laughed.

“No, you aren’t.”

“You’re right.”

“I usually am. You’ll learn.”

Anthony bit back a grin at the implication that he’d see her again. He grabbed one of the hotcakes off the plate and took a bite. Kate’s giant eyes got even bigger when she noticed.

“Wait, you need jam!”

Anthony took another bite to spite her. “No, I don’t. These are delicious, Kit.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Thanks. I actually prefer them to meetha pooda.” She paused and shook her head with a click of her tongue. “Itu aciṅkam,” she grumbled. “My mother would be so disappointed to hear that.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” He kissed her temple.

“No need. She died seven years ago.” She immediately winced, as if she hadn’t meant to say that. Over the past two nights, Kate hadn’t given any details about her parents whenever they talked about their families.

“Oh, shit. Kit, I'm so sorry.” Anthony pulled her to him, and he felt her relax a bit in his arms. It didn’t last long, though. She quickly stepped away from him.

“Thanks,” she muttered as she turned her attention back to the stove, and rubbed her cheek in a huff.

Anthony couldn’t think of anything to say, and Kate didn’t seem to need him to say anything anyway, so he just leaned against the counter as she finished making breakfast, every offer to help being turned down.

Her mood had lightened by the time they sat down to eat. While Anthony was doing the washing up, Kate went back into his bedroom. She came out shortly after, dressed and ready to go.

Anthony usurped her before she could put her shoes on and pulled her towards the couch.

“I can’t stay,” she whined, but she straddled his lap all the same.

“Why not?” Anthony rubbed her back as her arms went around his neck.

“Because if I don’t want my first year to be my only year, I need to study.”

“I’ll help you study,” he lied. Unsurprisingly, Kate wasn’t buying it.

“Conflict of interest. I think you're heavily invested in me not being productive.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he smirked as he kissed her.

Kate sighed, leaning into him. “Anthony.”

“Fine.” He leaned back against the cushions, but kept a grip on her hips. “At least let me drive you back to your house.”

Kate shook her head. “I looked it up. It’s a long walk, but it's a nice morning for it.”

Anthony arched an eyebrow at her. “You know you’re too sore for a long walk.”

“Arrogant twat.”

“Please, Kit.” He squeezed her waist.

She tried to glare at him before breaking into a grin.

“OK.”

—

This time, when Anthony watched from his car as she walked to her front door, Kate turned around.

Damn. I'm in trouble.

He could not wait.

—

[NOTE: Please read Weary Memory if you’d like an actual story with this version of Kate and Anthony.]

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