#irrevocably intertwined these two

[celaenaeiln]

(brain electrodes start reacting) [also this is a kpop song i’m just using the eng trans to make it easier]

I miss you (it’s a quiet night in Bludhaven and Dick Grayson is alone with his thoughts)

Saying this makes me miss you all even more

I miss you

Even though I'm looking at your photo (photographs and memories, both good and bad. that’s all that’s in his mind)

Time's so cruel, I hate us (us? is he looking at Red Hood! Jason? maybe Wally or Roy? perhaps even Bruce himself)

Seeing each other is now more difficult (his blood sweat and tears are all in for the hero gig, he has no time for leisure. not when cities and teams depend on him.)

It's all winter here, even in August

My heart is running on time, alone on the Snowpiercer (“A hollowing emptiness from knowing you’ve sacrificed everything and achieved nothing.” well, it’s not nothing but it’s not enough, not to him at least)

I want to go to the other side of Earth, holding your hand, put an end to winter (all he wants is to love and be loved in returned. but that’s not really possible in this profession now is it?)

How much should my longings fall like snow

Before the days of spring return, friend? (one day. one day he’ll be free and happy.)

———— [there’s an entire chorus but i don’t want to take up too much of your time]

Is it you who changed? (Is it you who changed)

Or is it me? (Or is it me)

I hate this moment, this time flowing by

We've changed, you know?

Just like everyone, you know?

Yes, I hate you, you left me

But I never stopped thinking about you, not even a day

I miss you, honestly, but I'll erase you

'Cause it hurts less than to blame you

(Dick Grayson knows he’s changed, change is what’s necessary in life. but how much has he changed? how badly did Bruce or the Gotham Rouges or Blockbuster or Catalina change him? if his 9 year old self looked at him, would he be able to recognize him? his friends and family, what about them? how irrecognizable is he?)

—————— [there’s more parts i’m skipping but i highly recommend checking out the song for a healthy dose of angst]

You know it all, you're my best friend (they WERE. what about now?)

The morning will come again

No darkness, no season can last forever

(because hope. hope and happiness is what Dick Grayson can bring. hold onto that hope. lose it, and what is Dick Grayson?)

(escapes through the window)

No!! Come back!! *puts a nanoscopic tracking device in the water I gave you*

The first part is definitely Dick Grayson but after the chorus? The second part seems like it would come from Bruce.

Is it you who changed? (Is it you who changed)

It could be Bruce contemplating why Dick is so different. Why he's acting out.

Or is it me? (Or is it me)

Reflecting on himself to see if the fault lies with him. Is it his parenting? His behavior? Where did it all go wrong?

I hate this moment, this time flowing by

A scene of him becoming depressed in the batcave, surrounded by memorabilia and momentos of his and Dick's adventures together. The trophies they collected in glass cases surrounding him, each one reminding him of a different case and a smiling face.

We've changed, you know?

An image of Bruce looking over the Robin costumes that grow in size and moving upstairs to stare at the pictures of Dick splashing in the sprinklers to his first day of school to his graduation and reminscing.

Just like everyone, you know?

Conversations he's had with Clark come to his mind where he's talking about Dick and Clark's just quietly laughing and assuring him it's normal. (liar. what does he know about normal.)

Yes, I hate you, you left me

The rage Bruce felt when Dick had the audacity to leave him when he told him to leave comes rushing back, boiling his blood. After everything they've been through, how could he just leave like that?

But I never stopped thinking about you, not even a day

He's consumed by thoughts of Dick. How he's doing, where he's going, what he's facing, who he's with. He constantly surveilling and monitoring and sending people to spy on Dick for any news about him.

I miss you, honestly, but I'll erase you

Dick'll see how it's like to be left behind. How it's like to be replaced by the one you thought would never leave. He's found someone new anyway.

'Cause it hurts less than to blame you

The way he lashes out at Dick and pretends to ignore him because it's so much easier to make it Dick's fault than admit he didn't want to let go.

The last part is both of them together

You know it all, you're my best friend (they WERE. what about now?)

Dick and Bruce have always considered each other their best friend. Well, Bruce considers Dick and Clark his best friends while Dick considers the og Titans and Bruce. But they were each other's closest partners.

The morning will come again

Dick and Bruce reconciling slowly but surely.

Teen Titans Spotlight Issue #14

No darkness, no season can last forever

(because hope. hope and happiness is what Dick Grayson can bring. hold onto that hope. lose it, and what is Dick Grayson?)

Bruce can never hold onto his darkness under Dick Grayson's light.

[aforgottenthing]

Tragedy enjoyers when there’s not one, not two, but three combinations of tragic relationships at the center of the narrative AND they’re bisexual

[okkotsuus]

"YOU'RE AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE DAY I LOST YOU" (katsuki b.) !

features: katsuki bakugo

contents: fantasy au. angst. hurt/comfort/more hurt. mutual pining. barabrian!katsuki. fem!reader. childhood friends to lovers to strangers to lovers again. kidnapping. grief. crying. implied panic attack. major character death. no beta we die like men. 3.9k

notes: i've been yearning desperately to make bakugo say stoick's famous line from httyd2 (my second favorite movie)... if there's interest i'm considering continuing this into the canon verse with it being these two 'reincarnated'.

tagging: @saexy (for enabling and encouraging me in killing off characters) & @meristryker (for enabling me in the gc like a real one)

never in all his life did the great katsuki bakugo think that he would ever love someone enough that he could die. watching the loving smiles of his parents, the gentle caress of his father's hand to soothe his mother's unbridled anger: it made his stomach churn.

yet, at the tender age of seven, while on a trip to a nearby village to discuss the war shifting on the horizon, he finds himself absolutely smitten by their chieftain's daughter. wide e/c eyes peeking out from behind her mother's leg, hands clutching onto the hem of the long skirt.

katsuki finds himself enamoured in that instance, seeing sweet you, looking at the boy with such curious eyes. he stomps over to you: temper even fiery in his youth. his hand grabs onto yours as he hauls you out from behind the safety of your mother.

under the dim candlelight of the meeting room, flickering flames cast dancing rays across your skin. his chubby little face is scrunched into a scowl, tugging you out of the room and into the courtyard with a tenderness that betrayed his expression.

"i'm katsuki and you better not forget it!" his pitchy voice calls, still dragging you behind him. he looks over his shoulder, soft red eyes narrowed in what was an attempt to be intimidating.

but when he sees the relaxing of your eyelids, falling slightly in contentment, with a warm smile that rivals any feeling of victory: the mask of indifference slips in a blink of an eye. red dusts over the slops of his face, baby-fat painted the same carnelian as his eyes. his small hand grips tighter onto yours, as if he never would let you go.

your chubby little face stretches as your smile widens into a toothy grin, eyes crinkling at the corners. "got it, katsuki, i'm y/n!" he swears your voice is just like the lullaby his mother would hum while rocking him to sleep, bringing a rush of warmth through his chest.

that day, katsuki bakugou falls terribly in love with y/n l/n.

the two of you are deemed inseparable, hands always connecting like opposing poles of a magnet. pinkies intertwined stronger than any woven cloth. it's as pure and innocent as it can be.

if one were to see y/n, then it was irrevocably certain that katsuki was a few steps away. it sends rumors spiralling through the lands that there will be a union between the bakugo barbaricum and l/n dynasty. you're only eight when there's an attempt made for your hand.

the thought of two families as powerful as you and katsuki's joining was a fearful thing to many. it spelled doom for many weaker civilizations, those who had dug their own graves with their actions.

your family, blessed be you to have been born to loving parents in a world such as this, easily rejects the many proposals. the l/n dynasty is in a state of power where they are not forced to fend for their village: allowing you this freedom.

running through the streets of his stronghold, chasing each other for the sake of some game that was the farthest thing from either of your minds. katsuki feels whole when you are at his side. the world doesn't seem so ugly, he doesn't feel so angry, everything sings the hymns of the heavens.

he can't pull his ruby eyes off of your form by the age of fifteen. the katsuki you had known, baby-faced with a slight stutter, has began to fill out into a man. his shoulders broaden and begin to carry thick cords of muscle. the chubbiness of his cheeks begins to give rise to sharper angles. his whiny voice is pushed aside by a more gravelly tone. he shoots up like a sprout, hunching over slightly in faces that used to fit him so easily.

but he isn't the only one who is growing into his frame. your shoulders soften at the corners, collarbones visible with every slight movement. your baby fat begins to settle and collect on your hips, rounding them. those toothy grins of yours become framed by pretty lips, always looking soft as a pillow. clothes that used to drape over your like a sheet now feel tighter in certain places, stretching over curves that popped up overnight.

the two of you don't know what to do with yourselves, stolen looks when the other isn't looking. you still hook pinkies, but the touch sends flares of heat running up the back of your neck. it's like you were just meeting each other for the first time all over again.

katsuki feels like a damn sap with the way his heart thunders under his skin: threatening to burst out. he's too taken to notice the heat that was rising to your face whenever he was around, the way your hands nervously would grip onto the swaying fabric of your skirt. too blind to see that you were just as infatuated with him as he was with you.

hurried words, lingering touches, sneaking glances, the two of you had every hint of love right in front of your faces. yet, there's a hesitance that lingers in the back of young minds: afraid that falling in love would end up with no one catching them.

unsurprisingly, katsuki is the one who jumps first. it's a quiet night, the moon is high in the sky. his breath puffs out in front of him like smoke, winter beginning to show herself once more.

you looked too beautiful under the soft azure glow that the celestial sky casts upon you, he simply couldn't bear another moment without you known how much his very soul ached for you.

on the eve of his sixteenth birthday he whispers the words like a prayer, voice softened and gentle for once in his life. "y/n... you plague my every waking thought, i cannot let my heart beat any longer without it being yours."

e/c eyes widen as your head snaps to him, lips parting in shock. katsuki beats you to it, rough palms (once baby-soft) cupping your cheek with a tenderness he was unaware he possessed.

the stars illuminate the sunkissed slopes of his cheekbones, showing the fine lashes that fan out over his eyes. katsuki was ethereal, in every sense of the word, it catches your breath in a hitch. your mind stumbles through everything you could say right now, desperately trying to find the perfect response.

but when the pads of his thumbs drag over the apples of your cheeks, leaving a buzz in the wake of his touch, all rational thought leaves as you allow words to flow like a stream. "i have loved you longer than i have known you, katsuki." your voice is hushed, only filling the small space between the two of you: like a secret that only he and you would ever know.

it sends a trill up your spine when his eyes visibly soften, his face had been growing more and more sharp by the day but only when he was with you did the curve of his cheeks soften. he turns back into a boy around you, as you turn back into a girl when held so gently between his hands.

katsuki surges forwards, nose clumsily knocking against yours, teeth colliding with your own. he's inexperienced, never having kissed a girl, much less even though of kissing anyone but you. you both are a mess, giggling softly through messy pecks smearing over each other's faces. it feels like you're both those giddy kids once more, chasing the other through the cobbled streets of your village. he makes your heart sing.

it was even harder to be apart from him now, hands fully clasped together as you walk through the streets of either of your hometowns. yet, no one is surprised. neither of your parents nor his even bat an eye when you announce the courtship at a family dinner.

love is as natural as breathing for you and katsuki. inherently you have always known exactly what the other needs. he knows just how much you like the wildflowers that grow en-route between your homes. you know just how much he likes when you rise on your tiptoes and press a kiss against the corner of his lips.

it's young and dumb, a rush of big emotions and smiles that stretch your cheeks so far they ache. once you both are eighteen, katsuki turns the courtship into a betrothal. an elegant gold ring, with a garnet slotted right in the center, it sits pretty on your ring finger. his band is thicker, small e/c gemstones scattered along the surface. when in battle he loops it through a chain around his neck: pressing a kiss to the ring before charging forwards.

the world has known y/n l/n and katsuki bakugo have been in love for nearly twelve years, official for three, and betrothed for one. the bakugo barbaricum and the l/n dynasty have began making their plans to unify upon the wedding. it sparks a wave of unease in the badlands.

all it takes is an emissary sent from the dark forest for your world to crumble into shambles. a demon who seems to be the land's scourge reincarnated, hand that turn all to ash, pillages your beloved village. he comes in tow with a mimic and a fire mage. destruction rains as you are brought to the center as their singular demand is you.

your eyes lock with the demon's red eyes, a color that had made you feel so safe until now. the hair on the nape of your neck stands pin-straight as his hand extended towards you: palm up.

a flurry of emotions rush through you like a burst dam, memories of katsuki at the forefront. you want to be selfish, to damn him and his band of criminals to hell, to fight back despite the gravity of the situation. but he is bringing terror upon the people you swore to protect with your life.

so, you step forwards, soft hand sliding into his own. never had a rough palm felt like daggers against your skin, never had you so violently despised the way carmine shines in the light of blue flames.

to save your people, your family, the home you have known your entire life: you go. swept away in black mist. the last thing you see of that place is the bakugo horde rushing towards the gates, your eyes lock with katsuki's before the void claims you.

katsuki lets out a guttural scream as her charges head first into the miasma, falling onto the ground as the last wisp flows just through his fingers. his fist slams against the ground, hands gasping at the dirt you had just been on. he allows himself to cry in front of someone other than you, a wail echoing through the ruins of your village.

that day, you disappear off the face of the realm. no matter how many search parties are sent into the dark forests in the badlands, they all return empty-handed (if they return at all). katsuki keep his ring around his neck, so it beats against his bare chest with every movement: like a reminder of how it felt when his heart actually beat .

scars wind around his arms, around his biceps, over his forearms, across his shoulders. his face is hardened, permanent frown on the lips you used to kiss so tenderly. he's angrier than ever, fuse short as his attention span.

he is a shell of the man he had been, going through the motions of survival but never truly being alive.

this persists for a grueling two years. for seven-hundred and thirty days. for seventeen-thousand five-hundred twenty hours. he is separated from the only person that has ever felt like home, the woman he has loved longer than he knew how to read.

he masks it behind his ego, boisterous laugh to hide the ringing in is ears that hadn't been able to stop. he's more violent the field, less forgiving when in training with kirishima. the explosions that thunder from his palms produce a blackened smoke that lingers and settles in his lungs like a fog.

yearning hits him late at night when he lays alone in bed, a bed that you had once shared with him. silent tears pour, running down the sides of katsuki's face as he stares blankly up at the ceiling. his breath feels short as his chest heaves to get air in. the man's mind is clouded with the look on your face as those bastards took you. he can still remember every single little twitch of your expression when you finally saw him. he remembers the way your breath hitched. he remembers the tears that began to pool at the corners of your eyes.

but, most of all, he remembers not seeing you: for what feels like the first time in his life.

katsuki cannot recall when he finally fell asleep, or if he ever even truly did. his dreams are plagued with you anyways, so the line between memory and dream is thin as a tightrope.

he has a dream that he makes it in time to save you and wakes up alone. that one sticks with him for months, hanging over him like a shadow. if he was only a minute sooner, a stride faster, reacted quicker. maybe you would be in his arms right now instead of gods know where.

relief comes in a rumor that circles in a tavern that a woman with h/c hair and e/c eyes was spotted wondering through the dark forest. katsuki doesn't hesitate, he makes no effort to send out a scout party. he rides at dawn, horse hooves beating against the grass in a frenzied gallop as he makes his way into the badlands.

none of the rouges or thieves hope to stand a chance with him, the smart ones don't even try. he vanquishes the less fortunate with a single swing of his cutlass. the man doesn't stop to rest, only to water his horse and allow it to graze while he catches a brief nap.

his horse comes to a stop right outside the dark forests, whinnying in rejection to enter. katsuki doesn't blame the poor thing, this was the kind of place people went with no intention to come back from. he dismounts, not tying his horse off: it would return with a whistle.

the forest is eerie, yawning opening that is reminiscent of a gaping mouth. but he didn't fear. because at this point, he'd rather not come back if it meant he wasn't coming back with you.

footfalls crunching against leaves and sticks echo through the dim lit treeline. the canopy is so thick that it completely obscures the bright sunlight katsuki has just been under: the perfect place for criminals to hide. the trees creak and groan, as if the land itself was breathing and living.

only when he hears the snap of a twig does he stop, his head snaps around, a flash of h/c darting just out of the corner of his visions. the man's heart stops as he stumbles to pursue, not minding the whipping of low handing branches against his face. not when he could see you darting through the underbrush.

he finally sees you in the full when you run into a path dead-ended by brambles. it's really you. y/n, his y/n.

but you look over your shoulder with such a forlorn look it makes his heart ache in his chest. you don't believe that it's really him. "toga, this isn't funny, it's cruel to keep making me see him." your voice is rougher than he remembered, as if your throat had been worn. it makes his fists clench at his sides.

the mimic had been wearing his face, just to torment you?

just the thought of it sends a rage burning deep in his chest. he has no way of knowing what you have been through. katsuki couldn't protect you: like he always feared he would fail to do.

his steps toward you are hesitant, ruby red eyes softening the second he sees your face. his heart is pounding out of his ribs, it makes him wonder if you can hear it.

a rough hand reaches up to roughly tug the chain that held his engagement band around his neck, the links snapping and clattering to the ground. he doesn't even look at it. with a gentleness, he holds out the ring to you.

your eyes dart back between the metal and him, hands tentatively reaching for it. the thundering race of your heartbeat is all you can hear. your hands, once soft, now rough as his bush against his own as you roll the ring between your fingers.

katsuki's heart breaks when he feels the callouses on your fingertips. he lowers slowly to his knees in front of you, tears fighting their way to prick at the corners of his eyes. he looks up at you like you are the light in the world, a goddess before him. in a way, you are, because he had prayed to every deity to hold you again, even if it was only once more.

"you're as beautiful as the day i lost you." his words come out in a rasp. thick emotion coursing through his chest; nearly choking him.

he watched your eyes widen, tears pooling as you too crash onto the ground. your arms wrap tight around his neck, face pressed side-by-side with his own. strong arms encircle your waist in an instant, pressing you closer with an urgency.

"katsuki... oh gods, katsuki..." you don't even know what to say, just repeating his name like a desperate prayer. your cheeks are wet and your chest aches but you don't care, because he's finally here.

lips clash desperately, just as messy as the kiss the two of you first shared five years ago. it's a mess of teeth and tongue as your fingers tangle into ash-blonde hair, his hands finding the back of your head and your hip. he sucks the breath out of you, as if wanting to absorb you into his being.

and you'd let him if he asked.

carmine eyes search for e/c, his hands cupping your cheeks as he pulls back to study your face. it's like you never left. your eyes are tired, there's some grime on your cheeks, a soft scar above your eyebrow that you've had since you were thirteen.

the softest smile spreads on his face, forehead pressing against yours as his lashes flutter shut. katsuki lets out a deep sigh, one he had been holding for nearly two years now.

warmth blooms in your chest as everything finally settles back into place like puzzle pieces. your hearts beat in sync, you draw breath when he exhales, everything is right in the world once more.

but your heart skips a beat as your eyes open to see that cursed white hair with horns peeking out from below it. tomura shigaraki. a wicked smirk on his lips as he's leaned back against a tree, simply watching.

your hands grip tighter onto the back of the shawl draping over katsuki's shoulders, breathing turning shaky and ragged.

no. no. no. they couldn't take this from you. not again. not after how hard you fought to escape the league just at the fleeting chance of being able to see the man you love. this had to be some cruel joke, right? a trick of the light, maybe...

even you aren't naive enough to believe that, your eyes close as you lean against katsuki, head burying into the crook of his neck. your fiddle with his hands to slip the ring back onto it's rightful place on his third finger. a part of you had already resigned to being ripped away again.

after two years with the demon, you learned firsthand what shigaraki was capable of. and you were not going to allow katsuki to find it out as well.

your legs shook as you stood, a weak smile given at your lover's confused look. "i'll always love you, 'suki, you know that." his eyes widen as his head nods, brows furrowing.

"then let me keep you safe."

carnelian irises widen in realization as his head turns to look back, growl ripping from his chest at the sight of the scourge of the realm's protege. his hands immediately reach for the hilt of his sword, explosions popping in his palms.

but you're already beginning to approach. katsuki seizes you in one arm, hauling you away like the day you first met. he runs through the forest with you: knowing that shigaraki would not allow the both of you to leave.

he bounds over winding tree roots, holding you steady and tight against his chest. the impending sense of doom begins to crawl up the back of his neck, but he needs you to be safe.

with you in his arm, he stumbles out of the forest, shrill whistle leaving his lips as the sound of hooves grows closer. with ease he sets you up on the saddle, but he does not join. you realize immediately what is about to happen. "katsuki-"

"no. it's my turn to keep you safe, y/n. i've always loved you, and i always will. in every life i will find you, and in every life, i will protect you." his words bring tears to your eyes as you desperately stake your head, sobs bubbling past your lips.

shigaraki creeps out of the forest and he delivers a harsh smack to the horse's haunches, sending it galloping away. within a second later a hand is reaching through katsuki's chest, mocking laugh against his ear.

"how heroic. i'll make sure you die slow, barbarian."

never in all his life did the great katsuki bakugo think that he would ever love someone enough that he could die.

that was until he lay on the edge of the forest floor, lifeblood leaking from the gaping hole in the center of the chest. but he wasn't anguished: because he died for you, the only person who he would ever love.

okkotsuus 24

[thef1diary]

Baby Jr | Four

— Meticulous Avoidance

© thef1diary 2024. all rights reserved. Do not copy, steal, translate, or repost any of my work.

Series Masterlist

pairing: carlos x fem!reader

wc: 2.8k

The sun slants through the blinds, casting elongated shadows across the room. You sit on the edge of the bed, your hands trembling slightly as you stare at the tenth pregnancy test you've taken, still in disbelief.

"No," you murmur as two pink lines stare back at you, confirming what you've been fearing for the past couple days.

You're pregnant.

Carlos's face flashes through your mind, his smile, his touch, the intensity of those nights spent together. It was supposed to be casual, fun, a temporary escape from the reality of the world around you.

While trying to escape reality, you've been hit in the face by it.

You and Carlos were reckless, that was a given, but now you also had to face the consequences of those moments shared.

You attempt to push back the wave of panic threatening to engulf you. Your vision blurs as your eyes fill with tears and your hands tremble, still holding on to the test.

How could this happen? How could you let it happen? What are people going to say? What is he going to say?

Your mind races, trying to grasp onto some semblance of control amidst the chaos of your thoughts. But deep down, you know there's no escaping the truth.

You're carrying Carlos Sainz's child, and everything is about to change.

Rising from the bed, your movements are mechanical, as if you're navigating through a foggy haze.

The room feels suffocating, the walls closing in on you with each passing second. You need air, space, a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts. With trembling steps, you make your way to the window, dropping the pregnancy test on the floor. You push the window open to let in a rush of cool morning air but even the fresh breeze fails to dispel the suffocating sense of unease that grips you.

Outside, the world carries on, oblivious to the turmoil raging within you. Birds chirp in the distance, cars hum along the street below, and somewhere in the distance, the low murmur of voices drifts through the air.

But in this moment, none of it matters. All you can focus on is the life growing inside you, a tiny, fragile being whose existence is now irrevocably intertwined with yours.

You lean against the windowsill, your gaze fixed on the horizon, lost in a maze of swirling thoughts and emotions. Despite how much you try, you cannot stop thinking about the new situation you've found yourself in.

How will you face Carlos? How will you tell him the news? And more importantly, what will his reaction be? The questions echo in your mind, unanswered and unsettling.

But for now, there's only one thing you can do: keep it to yourself. You remind yourself that the next race is two weeks later, offering a temporary reprieve, a brief respite from the inevitable confrontation that looms on the horizon.

As you draw in a steadying breath, you steel yourself for the challenges that lie ahead. Tears still continue to flow from your eyes, but as you peer down at your stomach, you can't help but feel a tinge of hope in between the fear of your future.

—

As the days pass, the weight of your secret presses down on you like a lead blanket. Every time you meet someone whether it's a stranger or a close friend, you feel the guilt internally shaming you just for keeping the secret to yourself.

You try to bury yourself in work, throwing yourself into your duties as a media personnel with a newfound fervor. You weren't needed at the track since there weren't any races, but you did need to step up the team's media presence and engage with the fans during the brief break.

Although you weren't required to see Carlos in person, your work required you to view the images and videos in which he participated in along with his teammate. You wanted to bury your face in your hands as you watched the videos again because you could hear his laugh and voice.

From considering Carlos as a distraction, now you needed a distraction from him and unfortunately your job did not allow that.

It didn't help that he would still text you, because after all you were still friends before it became physical. He sent you photos of the sunset from whichever country he decided to fly to because you once told him that you loved sunsets.

He was unaware of the turmoil of stress you experienced every time a notification popped up on your phone with his name. Your first thought was that he found out, even though no one else knew the secret but you.

You couldn't ignore his messages or else he would know that something was up, and that was the last thing you wanted him to know especially during the break.

No matter how hard you try to distract yourself, thoughts of Carlos and the impending conversation linger at the edges of your mind, a constant, nagging presence.

Finally, the week of the next race arrives, and with it, the inevitable reunion with Carlos. You stand in the bustling paddock, surrounded by the frenetic energy of the Formula One world. The air is thick with the smell of rubber and gasoline, the sound of engines roaring in the distance while the fans cheered every time they spotted a driver.

As you continue walking through the paddock, you notice a crowd of reporters and fans circling a couple drivers. You couldn't see their faces until you craned your neck, and as soon as you did, you wish you hadn't.

You caught a sight of Carlos in the distance standing alongside Lando which in itself causes an uproar as their friendship is infamous. However, in that moment, you couldn't care less about Lando, instead your eyes were drawn towards Carlos, as always.

He looks every inch the confident, charismatic driver you've come to know, his easy smile and charm putting those around him in a trance.

For a moment, you consider approaching him, but then you wonder what you'd say. It's not like you could tell him the truth in front of the crowd and there was no other topic you could think of.

Instinctively, your palm rests over your womb, and once you realize your actions, you quickly avert your gaze from him, turning away before he can spot you.

You slip into the shadows, dodging behind equipment crates and team trailers as you make your way through the paddock. Every instinct screams at you to run, to hide, to avoid the inevitable confrontation that awaits. And so you do, weaving through the crowds with a practiced ease, your heart pounding in your chest.

But no matter how hard you try to escape, you can't shake the feeling that Carlos is watching you, his eyes boring into your back with an intensity that sends a chill down your spine. You quicken your pace, ducking around a corner and into the relative safety of the media center, where you hope to find refuge from the storm brewing outside.

The noise from outside disperses away which you were thankful for but it only magnified your own thoughts. Fortunately, you spotted Ava but as you walked towards her, you noticed that she was speaking to Charles.

You gave her a nod in acknowledgement when she spotted you and turned to sit at one of the further tables, taking a moment to sigh. She notices the tension in your demeanor, the way your eyes dart nervously around the room, and she can't help but raise her eyebrows in concern.

You offer a tight-lipped smile, attempting to brush off her concern, but Ava isn't one to be easily dissuaded.

She pats Charles' arm and smiles at him before wrapping up the conversation she was having with him. You watched from afar, noticing the easy camaraderie between them, a hint of something more lingering in the air. Perhaps you were just seeing things and overthinking it because you were involved with Carlos.

You discarded that thought as you saw Ava approached you, her gaze filled with genuine concern.

"Hey, everything alright?" she asked, her palm resting on top of your hand.

You nod, "yeah, just a bit stressed with work." You hoped that she wouldn't press further on the matter since she also knew about those stressful days at work, having worked in the same field as you.

But, she furrowed her eyebrows, "is it just work, or is something else bothering you?"

Her gaze fixed on you with a mix of concern and curiosity. The weight of your secret pressed heavily on your chest, each breath feeling more constricted than the last. You toyed with the idea of confiding in her, of sharing the truth that had been gnawing at you for weeks. But the fear of her reaction, of the potential consequences, held you back.

Ava reached out and squeezed your hand, her touch a silent gesture of support. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" she said softly, her voice filled with warmth and understanding.

You nodded, your throat tight with unspoken words. How could you burden her with such a heavy secret? What if she reacted poorly, or worse, felt betrayed by your silence?

But as you looked into Ava's eyes, seeing the genuine concern and compassion reflected there, you couldn't help but feel a flicker of hope. Maybe she would understand. Maybe she would offer the support and guidance you so desperately needed.

The silence stretched between you, each moment filled with the weight of unspoken truths. Finally, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come. "There's something I need to tell you," you began, your voice barely above a whisper. "It's... it's not easy, but I trust you, Ava. And I need you to know."

You had to tell her the whole story, start from the beginning from the night Carlos stopped by your hotel. You reassured your thoughts with a nod, racking your mind for the best way to explain it all.

As you gathered the courage to confide in Ava, Carlos' voice cut through the air, interrupting your moment of vulnerability by calling your name. You turn to see him approaching you, stopping once he reaches the table.

"Hey, can I borrow you for a moment?" he asked, eyes flickering between you and Ava.

You hesitated for a moment, glancing at Ava who gave you a reassuring smile. "I'll catch up with you later, yeah?"

You nod at her before looking at Carlos and standing up. He motioned for you to follow him, down the halls and away from prying eyes. As you walked with him, your mind raced with a whirlwind of emotions — frustration at the interruption, anxiety over why Carlos wanted to see you, and a lingering sense of guilt for keeping secrets from both him and Ava.

When you reached the secluded corner, Carlos turned to face you, his gaze ever so watchful. He had a smirk playing on his lips and for a brief moment it reminded you of the time you spent together before finding out life changing news.

You rolled your eyes once you saw how quickly his expression changed, now only a hint of mischief glinting in his eyes. Yet, you still asked, "why did you need to 'borrow' me?"

Carlos leaned closer, resting his palm against the wall like he's done before, his smirk widening into a playful grin. "Well, I just wanted to see you," he said, his tone laced with amusement.

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise at his unexpected admission. "Just to see me?" you repeated, a hint of skepticism in your tone.

He shrugged and stated, "it's been two weeks since I saw you last."

A rush of conflicting emotions washed over you at his words — relief that he didn't suspect anything, guilt from earlier, and a flicker of something else, something you couldn't put a finger to.

His fingers trailed down the length of your arm, settling on your waist. With his proximity, a sudden wave of nausea washed over you. The scent of his cologne, once familiar and comforting, now felt overwhelming, almost suffocating.

"Carlos, what cologne are you wearing?" you blurted out, unable to mask the discomfort in your voice.

Carlos pulled back slightly, his brows furrowing in concern. "It's the same one I always use," he replied, his tone tinged with confusion. "The one you always liked."

You blinked, trying to push past the nausea and focus on his words. "But it smells...different," you managed to say, your stomach churning with unease.

Carlos' expression softened, his concern deepening as he stepped back but still reached out to steady you. "Are you okay?"

You took a deep breath, trying to quell the rising tide of nausea threatening to overwhelm you. "I think I just need some fresh air," you murmur, your voice shaky.

Without waiting for a response, you hurried away from Carlos, the scent of his cologne still lingering in the air of the hallway like a heavy cloud. You found it odd, as it was never this overpowered to the point where you could smell it from afar, instead it was fairly faint, only smelling it when you were snuggled up next to him in bed.

As you step outside into the cool breeze, you take a moment to collect yourself, the nausea gradually subsiding with each intake of breath.

The fresh air also gave you a sense of clarity, able to think about the situation without it becoming too much to bear.

The realization hit you like a tidal wave — you almost went right back into his arms as if the pregnancy never existed. You would've willingly gone back to your old ways, spending time with him simply because he smiled at you and wanted to see you.

The temptation to bury the truth was strong, to pretend as if nothing changed between you two. But it was wrong, you can't possibly deceive him like that. He would find out one way or another, especially as the months go by and your pregnancy can no longer be hidden.

You softly press your hand against your stomach, a sad smile growing on your face. You wouldn't have to tell him if you didn't plan on keeping the child, but having to live normally again, as if nothing happened, would eat you alive.

Plus, you didn't even think about that option thoroughly, already feeling a blossoming connection to the little life growing in your womb.

You shake your head, discarding such vile thoughts. With a heavy heart, you made a decision to avoid Carlos until you built up the courage to tell him the truth. It wouldn't be easy to tell him right away, because this news could shatter the state of your relationship with him, whether it's friendship or more.

As you returned inside the paddock, you spotted Ava who was rushing around, holding a large stack of items you couldn't see from afar. Watching her hurried movements, you found yourself lost in deep thought again, this time, strategizing how to share the news with her, how to confide in her. The weight of the secret you carried felt unbearable now that you were back at work, and the thought of continuing to hide it from Ava was driving you to the brink of madness.

You consciously straighten your posture, a silent reminder to yourself that you were in a professional setting. The familiar sights and sounds of the workplace surrounded you, pulling you back to reality. Here, amidst the hustle and bustle of the paddock, there was no room for distractions from your personal life. Each moment was precious, each task demanding your full attention and focus. So, with a determined resolve, you pushed aside the turmoil of your personal struggles, channeling your energy into the demands of your professional responsibilities.

As the day wore on, you found yourself avoiding any encounters with Carlos as decided, darting down different corridors and finding excuses to linger in secluded corners whenever you caught a glimpse of him in the distance. It wasn't necessarily hard to avoid him, which made you realize that your job didn't entail being around him as much as he made it out to be. However, it did send a pang of hurt through you every time you heard his laughter or his name uttered by other people.

With each passing hour, you grew more resolved in your decision to keep your distance until you found courage to tell him the truth, after telling Ava.

Speaking of, your phone pinged with a text from her. 'I'm coming over after work, be ready to tell me everything'

Fortunately, the first race after the break was in your home city, which meant that you could show Ava the pregnancy tests you've taken.

The warmth of her friendship offered a glimmer of solace amidst the chaos of the day, and even the past couple weeks, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief at the prospect of confiding in her about everything that had been weighing down on you.

Taglist OPEN: @xoscar03 @pierregazly @rowena-ravenclaws-diadem @lilymurphy03 @the-ghost-lovwr @ilovethefruits @lewlew44 @luvvtrent @hc-dutch @khaylin27 @lillyssh-tposts @thatgirlmj @ladyoflynx @tcfanmania @customsbyjcg-blog @sltwins @nonstopbookworm @glitterquadricorn @charizznorizz @mrs-bunny @moonliightbabes @likedbygaslyy @booksandflowrs @teamnovalak @formula1mount @gaviymarcsbride @gotthemilk-69 @bwormie @llando4norris @ellesssssxzxz @arian-directioner @lou-bean28 @depressedgiftedburnout @halleest @amberpanda99 @borapsycho @cosmoscoffeee @mycenterfold @67-angelofthelordme-67 @sugarvibez @mehrmonga @aadu2173 @bokutos-babyowl @teenwolf01 @presidentdangdang @mrswolffs-blog @amyfelix14 @seasonswinter @amalialeclerc @amandadesantasworld @ystrolllll @xisab @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @pedrohoe04 @yagirlhayes @jadaaasworld @mmack23 @shimmermotorsport @darleneslane @mderby03 @jinimon-tr @landoslutmeout

[strwberrykisses]

it is so absolutely, irrevocably heartbreaking to me that john and paul no longer exist together, and that there is a chance, depending on your belief, that they never ever will again.

whether you believe they were platonic or romantic or whatever else, there is no denying they were two souls so made for eachother, so perfectly intertwined and matching like two pieces of a puzzle, more so than almost any other duo in our history. and because of the selfish decisions of another person, an outsider with delusions and a deranged nature, those two souls have been split up and taken from eachother and it just absolutely makes me so devastated to think about.

It’s very difficult to look at john in all the beatles interviews, especially early ones, and all those clips from the 70s and all those songs with his voice, and recognize that he is gone.

He exists in memory and in spirit and in the stories and songs of Paul, the books and the art of Cynthia, the faint memories of Sean and what it was like to have his father in those early early years. Even in some of the photos Linda left behind. But in the end, that is a person who no longer exists in physical terms. That no longer breathes or has a thought or feels a certain way when they wake up in the morning. That lives a life. It was all taken. And because of that, such a perfect pair will possibly never, ever get to exist together again. Paul is stuck here with all of us, missing someone with no physical connection anymore. Dreaming about him, painting him, being forced to speak about him in almost every interview even though it’s got to hurt.

I just don’t understand how you can see a pair of soulmates, of best friends, of two people that entranced with eachother, that beautifully connected, all of it from some kind of divine intervention, some kind of special moment in our stars that caused them to be put in the same place in the same era at the perfect moment as the other, and want to rip them away from eachother so cruelly.

all I can wish is that when the time eventually comes and paul passes, that they end up back together, somewhere peaceful like Paris with Elvis records and banana milkshakes and their Mary Julia star and endless fields of strawberries.

[1111jenx]

𖤓Synastry series: Sun in the Houses𖤓

MASTERLIST — for more quality posts✨

💘Sun in the 1st House: Beneath the celestial canvas of this synastry placement, a tale as enchanting as a dream unfurls. The house person, akin to a night sky, emanates a radiant glow, echoing the Sun person's presence. To them, the Sun is their guiding star, the source of their joy, their radiant beacon in a universe otherwise cloaked in darkness. A profound contentment envelops them when bathed in the Sun's light, an authentic happiness as splendid as dawn's first light. The Sun, in return, basks in the house person's deep-rooted admiration, mirroring it back like a tranquil lake reflecting the midday sun. This tandem, like a pair of celestial bodies, graces the universe with laughter, an exquisite sonnet of shared joy. Together, they shimmer, illuminating the surrounding cosmos with their radiant togetherness, a spectacle of love that outshines the stars. Yet, within this symphony of love, a certain possessiveness persists, a gravitational pull that binds them irrevocably. They perceive the other as their celestial twin, their sole companion in the vast expanse of the universe. An echo of 'mine' resonates between them, an assertion of mutual ownership that is as potent as the heart's deepest longing. But as is the nature of celestial bodies, clashes may occur, ego battles akin to cosmic storms, threatening to disrupt their harmonious orbit. However, even these conflicts are silver-lined, offering pearls of wisdom and shaping their cosmic journey in profound ways. In the radiant presence of one another, they shimmer with unspoken brilliance. They ignite the best within each other, like distant galaxies awakening to their own magnificence. The house person swells with pride in the comforting glow of the Sun, who, in their unerring wisdom, whispers words that elicit pure, unadulterated joy. They orbit in their celestial dance, two bodies radiating love, learning, and laughter, a testament to the poetic resonance of their shared existence.

💘Sun in the 2nd House: In this bond, we find two souls who naturally stir each other's desires and comforts. Together, they revel in life's luxurious offerings, savoring the finest fruits of existence. The Sun person, like a guiding star, helps the House person grasp their true worth, understand their needs, and appreciate their resources. If the stars align favourably, their partnership blooms into something extraordinary, blessed by the gracious hand of Venus. They see worth in each other, a priceless treasure that enriches their shared journey. The Sun person recognizes the unique gifts the House person brings to the table. Yet, there's a shadow to the Sun's warm glow; a tendency to possess, to control, often without realizing. The House person, drawn in by the Sun's radiance, finds themselves doing more to please the Sun, adjusting to their needs, no matter what those might be. In this dance of connection, they move in harmony, a duet of love, desire, and mutual respect.

💘 Sun in the 3rd House: In their shared space, words intertwine like star-crossed lovers, ceaseless, captivating. Little disagreements dance on the edge of their tongues, only to be silenced by the tender symphony of make-up kisses. This placement weaves a sense of familiarity, a strange déjà vu, as if their souls have crossed paths in another life, another time. An unspoken comfort lingers between them, a tranquility that whispers of home. Conversations flow like rivers to the sea, their intellectual discourse as effortless as the wind caressing the leaves. The House person finds a certain charm in the Sun's words, hanging onto them like a melody that never grows old. The Sun, on the other hand, sees the House person as a precious gem, something to shield from the world's harsh edges. Their interaction is a feast for the mind, a stimulation that sings to those who crave deep, intellectual bonds. In this union, comfort abounds. Each word spoken, each secret shared, peels away another layer, revealing the essence of who they truly are. Their openness is as natural as a flower blooming under the spring sun, a testament to their profound connection. Intimate moments are shared in the small details - the clasp of their hands, a language written in the lines of their palms, a silent promise of enduring togetherness. Inside jokes punctuate their interactions, shared laughter blooming in their personal garden of camaraderie. A timeless dance of love and intellectual stimulation, their union weaves a tapestry of memories, each thread gleaming with their shared joy and affection.

💘 Sun in the 4th House: In the embrace of the House person, the Sun finds a home, an abode that whispers of permanence, a space it never yearns to desert. The sanctuary of their presence is a magnet to the Sun, a refuge radiant with solace. This cosmic alignment is intriguing, for it oscillates between providing profound comfort and eliciting the chill of fear, particularly if the Sun's chart is parched of the life-giving water element. There's an undeniable allure in the vulnerability this placement offers. The House person peers into the Sun, seeing its authentic self, acknowledging its limitless potential, and loving it unabashedly. They are the unwavering shield to the Sun, sometimes blindly so, standing in steadfast support irrespective of the circumstances. In response, the Sun flourishes. It blossoms with an ethereal beauty, basking in the adoration it receives, thriving on the nourishment of support. The presence of the House person is a soothing balm, a calming melody that seems to know the right notes to bring tranquility. The House person, in their turn, reveals a clear soft spot for the Sun, perhaps even forgiving their occasional bursts of tempestuous heat. It's a placement that prompts both introspection and reflection, a cosmic dance that sees them turning inward, mirroring each other's steps. Together, they discover a respite from their armor, a space where they can shed their toughness. They become a testament to the beauty of vulnerability, an echo of support and affection that resonates in the celestial symphony of their unity.

💘 Sun in the 5fth House: A placement I hold dear, is a dance of two cosmic entities feeling as though they've discovered their mirrored soul. It's not just a joyous union but one filled with exhilarating thrills and daring adventures. They revel in their shared laughter, their exchanges brimming with the innocence of child-like banter. Yet, beneath this playful veneer, there lies an infatuation, clear and profound, humming in the spaces between their words. The House person transforms into an eternal flame, a radiant beacon matching the Sun's relentless luminescence. The Sun, in turn, gazes upon the House with a sense of awe, often entranced by their seeming perfection. The House, in the Sun's eyes, feels like an equal partner, a reflection of their inner self. The fifth house is synonymous with romance. It's a fixed house, firmly rooted in its position, a steadfast testament to the House person's feelings towards the Sun. Regardless of their playful mind games, their seemingly flighty demeanor, their feelings towards the Sun person persist, burning with unwavering intensity. To the Sun, the House becomes an escape from the mundane, their daily dose of joy, their most ardent cheerleader. It's an alignment at times witnessed in tales of enemies turned lovers to bestfriends, an exciting dynamic where they continually challenge and dare each other to delve deeper into life's mysteries. It's a placement pulsating with positive energy, echoing with shared giggles, and resonating with playful touches. It's a cosmic dance of two entities, navigating the universe hand in hand, their hearts beating in a rhythm that speaks of love, laughter, and endless adventure.

💘 Sun in the 6th House: In this celestial arrangement, the Sun finds itself nestled in a house of pragmatism and routine, shedding its brilliant light upon the practicalities of daily life. These constellations spin tales not of grand careers or cosmic pursuits, but of everyday work, the quiet rhythm of health and wellness, the structure of routines and the serene act of service. In this dance of the stars, the Sun's light illuminates pathways to healthier eating, disciplined exercise, and even companionship with beloved pets. The Sun, in its radiant role, serves as a guiding beacon for the 6th house dweller, leading them towards the sanctity of a balanced lifestyle. It may inspire a shared commitment to physical exertion, perhaps in the form of joining a gym, or ignite conversations about nutritious diets and wellbeing. The Sun person may even act as a catalyst, helping the 6th house dweller establish routines that reinforce physical and mental health. Yet, the orbits of these celestial bodies might lead them down professional paths that intertwine, potentially finding one in the service of the other. However, with the Sun's position in the practical 6th house, a word of caution is warranted. The equilibrium of give and take must be carefully maintained to prevent the transformation of helpfulness into servitude. It's crucial that neither the Sun nor the 6th house dweller feels overburdened, their efforts unreciprocated.. It inspires a mutual journey towards better physical and mental health, encouraging each to uplift the other, illuminating their shared path with the light of practical wisdom and mutual care.

💘 Sun in the 7th House: In the grand tapestry of the cosmos, this placement is akin to a celestial masterpiece, an ideal constellation in the realm of astrology. The Sun, in its radiant glory, casts its golden light upon the 7th house, a house rich with the resonance of companionship, the solemnity of marriage, the intimacy of one-on-one relationships, the practicalities of business partnerships, the binding power of contracts, and the hidden faces of our alter-egos or shadow selves. In this dance of the stars, the Sun person stirs a longing within the 7th house dweller, a yearning for partnership, perhaps even a hankering for the sacred bond of marriage. The 7th house person may perceive the Sun person as the embodiment of their perfect mate, a mirror reflecting all the qualities they admire yet feel they lack. This celestial alignment weaves a balancing harmony in their relationship, as the Sun person displays characteristics and idiosyncrasies that the 7th house person cherishes but doesn't possess. As the 7th house is the celestial realm of marriage and contracts, the potential for wedded bliss, or perhaps a formal business partnership, is a tangible possibility should their relationship endure the test of time. However, as with any celestial arrangement, there are potential pitfalls to navigate. The two may become so entwined that they lose their individualities, their identities blurring until they cannot discern where one ends and the other begins. It is vital to remember that they are unique souls united, not a singular entity. Additionally, the mirage of the ideal mate may only be visible to the eyes of the 7th house person, with the Sun person potentially oblivious to this perception. The entirety of the synastry chart must be considered to gauge the mutual feelings of compatibility and the potential for enduring companionship. Thus, in this symphony of stars and planets, the dance of destiny unfolds, charting a course of love, partnership, and shared dreams.

💘 Sun in the 8th House: The placement of the Sun in the 8th house is a pas de deux that is not meant for those with faint hearts. It is a dance where the dancers—the Sun and the 8th house person—are likely to be pulled in one of two extreme directions. They may find themselves entwined in an intoxicating whirl of magnetic attraction, an intense passion that seizes them, or they may feel an unsettling disturbance, a disquiet that rattles their core, often swaying between these polar opposites. The Sun, in its radiant role, casts an unflinching light on the profound themes of the 8th house, illuminating the shadowy corners of sexuality, the cyclical dance of death and rebirth, the tumult of transformation and crisis, the journey of personal growth and evolution, the undercurrents of psychology and addiction, the intricacies of finance, and the hushed whispers of societal taboos. These subjects, often shrouded in mystery, may either captivate or unsettle the house person. They might either welcome the Sun person into their hidden depths or push them away. The house person might perceive the Sun as an enigmatic entity, while the Sun person uncovers the secrets that the 8th house person keeps hidden from the world. Should both individuals bear the mark of Pluto's dominance, or have a strong 8th house presence in their natal chart, this union may flourish in mutual fascination. However, if one or both harbor hidden trauma or suppressed shame, this intense connection could serve as a deterrent, overwhelming their senses. This celestial arrangement signifies the potential to unravel each other's hidden layers, maintaining a profound bond that might lead to mutual transformation. Yet, caution must be exercised to prevent power dynamics or manipulative tactics from seeping into their relationship. Ultimately, this celestial alignment can flourish if both are open to exploring the depths of each other's souls, embracing growth and transformation, and traversing the labyrinth of shared secrets.

💘 Sun in the 9th house: The Sun weaves golden threads into the 9th house tapestry, infusing wisdom's domain with the vibrancy of its radiance. This divine dance resonates with the seekers, the dreamers, those who chart the star-studded expanse of their fate, guided by an insatiable thirst for depth and meaning. The Sun, a luminary beacon, casts an ethereal glow on the winding paths of philosophy, spirituality, and the rich tapestry of global culture, sparking a flame in the 9th house soul, igniting the tinder of curiosity and wanderlust. In the sacred dance of their divergent or converging beliefs, they find a melody, a rhythm that binds them in an intricate ballet of understanding. Their shared intrigue transcends the constraints of culture, religion, and philosophy, knitting them closer in the vast expanse of human thought. Together, they traverse oceans, cross continents, and journey through the labyrinth of the mind and the world, venturing into territories unseen and unexplored. Yet caution must be heeded, for clashing perspectives may strike discordant notes, marring the celestial harmony. But through the crucible of understanding and growth, they shall rise, bound by a shared quest for enlightenment and truth. Soaring high, they ascend to the sublime realm of knowledge, guided by the radiant beacon of the Sun.

💘 Sun in the 10th house: The Sun, in its radiant glory, casts a shimmering glow upon the 10th house, bathing the lofty pinnacles of ambition, authority, and societal prestige in golden light. The 10th house individual beholds the Sun, seeing within its fiery aura the embodiment of a mentor, a guiding star, perhaps even a paternal figure. In this celestial dance, the Sun nurtures the dormant seeds of promise within the 10th house soul, kindling a fire that empowers them to scale the towering heights of professional achievement and public recognition. Unseen currents may churn, as the tides of power and authority ebb and flow, wrestling for harmonious balance. Should the rhythm of their hearts align, with the melody of guidance and humility ringing louder than the discordant notes of dominance, their shared journey shall carve a path to victory in the grand stage of career and societal prominence. Together, they'll ascend the mountain of success, guided by the Sun's resplendent glow.

💘 Sun in the 11th house: As the Sun anoints the 11th house with its golden kiss, souls intertwined in this celestial ballet discover a fellowship deeper than mere companionship. They merge as confidants, their dreams and aspirations entwining like tendrils of starlight, fueled by a shared devotion to the grand tapestry of humanity. Hand in hand, they champion noble crusades, threading their bond of friendship through a loom of diversity and acceptance. The Sun, a celestial minstrel, serenades the 11th house soul, inspiring them to dance in the unique rhythm of their being. In turn, the 11th house individual perceives the Sun as a lighthouse of acceptance, its unwavering beam illuminating their path in times of tumult. For hearts fluttering to the cadence of romance, seek reinforcement from other heavenly harmonies, for a profound friendship forms the bedrock of enduring love.This cosmic duet, a symphony of souls, signals unity, mutual respect, and a shared pledge to a future as radiant as the Sun. Their shared bond, an ethereal waltz, tells a tale of harmony, shared dreams, and a commitment to a collective dawn where every dream finds its home.

💘 Sun in the 12th house: As the Sun slips into the enigmatic embrace of the 12th house, its bright sovereignty is shrouded in gauzy veils of mystique, spirituality, and the unseen. To the house person, the Sun appears as an ethereal apparition, a spectral force oscillating between healing and bewildering, like a siren's call echoing through the vast and shadowy cosmos. Shrouded in the silken shadows of the subconscious, their connection pulses like a hidden heartbeat, a secret rhythm known only to them. This clandestine bond invites introspection and self-discovery, a voyage into the deep waters of their shared consciousness. For the Sun person, the depths of the 12th house may feel like a labyrinth of twilight, where their radiant essence is held in a silent waltz, yearning for the symphony of expression. When suspicion or paranoia creep into this celestial bond, trust must be kindled like a beacon in the deep, for their connection thrives on the revelation of buried truths and the unearthing of the divine spark within. With hearts aglow and an attuned awareness of their spiritual dance, they navigate the labyrinthine realms of the soul, transcending the mortal shackles, and ascending into an otherworldly romance. This sacred journey, a testament to their courage, becomes an intimate dance between two souls weaving their way through the cosmic tapestry, seeking the divine in each other.

Thank you for staying til the very end loves, I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, let me know your thoughts in the comment🤍

love,

saint jenx🪐

© 2023 Saintz Jenx All Rights Reserved

[cipheramnesia]

Genuine question from a newbie just dipping her toes into horror film: If Candyman isn't actually a slasher (which is all I've seen it called), what is it? And how come it keeps being misidentified as a slasher flick?

Candyman is probably misidentified as a slasher both because of its original marketing, landing in the tail end of the 80s video cassette slasher boom, and having two mediocre sequels.

Generally a slasher has a limited region and a victim pool mainly consisting of teens. For example the big three - Jason, Freddy, Michael - are all somewhat geographically fixed and almost exclusively kill kids. Usually the slasher is specifically intertwined with fears pertaining to the transition between childhood and adulthood such as increasing independence and of course burgeoning sexuality. The victims typically are killed for transgressions of the child-adult boundaries such as rebelliousness, drinking, sex and so on. By and large the slashers have a character which is malevolent in a way that's divergent from mere human emotions because they are often larger than life figures of mortality and social moral codes.

On the cinematic side, most slasher movies have a very consistent plot formula and even similar shots. Usually there is an early on warning, the harbinger. This is followed by stage setting the particular vices of the victims, and some minor fake out scares, before the actual killing starts in earnest. There's inevitably some kind of POV / voyeur shot, several similar victim chase safe / fake out death sequences. A slasher subgenre is not necessary predictable but by nature it is a little bit formulaic - it's a type of character and a plot structure.

Candyman is a different kind of movie. I'm not sure it falls into a specific subgenre. It could be called horror noire, urban legend horror, and in some ways it's almost a ghost story. However there are some crucial differences.

Victim type is obvious. Candyman is not teen exclusive - nearly all of the victims in the film are full adults. Not only that, but his purpose for existing is different. He is not a governor of the transition to adulthood or a symbol of sex and mortality. Candyman exists as an urban legend and is more symbolic of the hidden secrets of ourselves and our cultural history which we try to cover over and forget.

As a personality, Candyman is not malicious, but rather tragic and romantic. His history is as a wronged man, a brilliant man horrifically killed in an act of racist violence. People who call him are summoning this combination of a deeply intellectual and passionate artist, and the history of racial oppression in the USA. And his acts of murder are not brutal enforcement of social norms, but rather keeping his story and the horrific truth of our own past alive - being remembered.

There is nothing either metaphorically or structurally in Candyman that conforms to the slasher subgenre. The slasher killers irrevocably tie sex and death together because of how they are fundamentally linked in our lives. Candyman ties the past to the present, carrying a promise that even his victims are immortalized in legend. The slasher killers are tied to teenagers and related transitional spaces where morality and control are in flux. Candyman is tied to his own legend and the reflection of ugly truths.

Both Candyman and the slasher subgenre have deep and fascinating ideas under the surface, but they are not the same ideas, and structurally Candyman is only as passingly similar to a slasher as to any other movie. Incidentally the recent Candyman also gets this, and I highly recommend both movies. They tell horror stories that are very different from most others, and I think both are vital films to see.

[sh4wty18]

can you please do jake webber best friends to lovers. like jakes been y/ns best friend since they were kids and neither of them knew they liked eachother until they went to a party and all that. and then add some cute lil smut in there as well but theyre both virgins. ❤️thank uuu:)

omg im so sorry for the delayed response, i was not motivated to write for a while! i hope you enjoy :)

best friend.

pairing: jake webber x reader

summary: same as request except i didn't include the smut <3

cw: fluff, language, alcohol, some spice/suggestive ending but nothing too crazy

word count: 2.5k + edited

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Since your childhood, Jake has been your best friend. You’d grown up together in Kansas, and being the only two “alternative” people at your middle and high schools, you stuck together. He’d always been the person you leaned on, and you were the same for him. Time didn’t seem to exist when you two were together, you could talk for hours and never get bored. Both your parents had expected you to end up dating eventually, and were shocked that after over ten years, it still hadn’t happened. But everyone always said you were soulmates, in one way or another. 

When Jake got famous, you were so proud of him. It had been his dream for years, he’d been posting little vlogs for a while, and sometimes you were even featured in them. But meeting Sam & Colby had caused his career to skyrocket. Then he moved to LA to keep pursuing his dream, and of course you supported him. You wanted all the success in the world for him, so you said goodbye. 

You made a point to visit him as often as possible, which he loved. You loved seeing him, and sometimes being featured in his videos. Being a side character in his on-screen persona had garnered you your own little fandom, and people loved seeing “with y/n!” attached to his video titles. Being famous was never your “thing”, though; it was Jake’s, and you respected him for it. You were happy with your small subset of fans, and couldn’t imagine constantly being scrutinized by millions of people. Jake’s rising stardom had no effect on your friendship, and now, after many long years of hard work, he is finally gaining the recognition you had hoped he’d receive since you were kids. 

With his newfound rise in fame came more money, and in turn, a bigger house in LA. Some time after his break up with Tara, Jake had asked you to move in with him and Johnnie. You worked from home, and had been visiting him so much that you practically lived with him part-time already, so of course you’d said yes. 

What he didn’t know was that for the last three years, you have been completely and hopelessly in love with him. You didn’t know why or when it started, really. You just knew that one day, seeing him kiss Tara made you want to rip your heart out. Obviously you never told him, you could never do that to him. He was in love with Tara, and you loved and respected him too much to ever come between them. You had also become friends with Tara, and would never want to hurt her. So you yearned in silence, fully believing you were going to go to take your feelings to the grave. Their breakup was unexpected, and despite being irrevocably in love with Jake, you weren’t happy about it. Seeing your best friend in pain was the worst feeling ever, so you made sure to help him through all the ups and downs until he and Tara were comfortably friends again. 

Moving in with him may not have been the best thing for your romantic feelings, but your friendship is stronger than ever. You are constantly together, and knowing how affectionate the two of you are, you’re always touching, too. Whether it be a finger linked through the belt loop, hands intertwined, leaning on each other’s shoulder, hugging from behind, or cuddled up on the couch, you always have to have your hands on each other. Jake wasn’t very drawn to physical touch with many people, only his closest friends, which made you feel special. You loved that the only people he acted like this with were you and Johnnie. And even though he was touchy with Johnnie, it was nowhere near the level of touchiness he had with you. Some people say your relationship is weird, too close, or codependent, but you guys just laugh it off. You didn’t care if people understood, you loved each other, full stop. 

For the past three years you have wanted more, desperately so. But you knew that Jake didn’t feel the same, so learning how to separate your romantic and platonic feelings for him was a challenge. You would never want to do anything to potentially ruin your perfect friendship, though, so you learned quickly.

This would all change tonight. 

You and Jake had been curled up in his bed together under a mountain of fluffy blankets, watching one of your favorite movies, when he turned to you.  

“Tara is having a party tonight at her place, if you wanna be my plus one,” He smiled, always excited to ask you to be his plus one to events.

One of the many life changes that occurred when you moved to LA was that you were now roped into “events” way more often than you were used to. Whether it be casual parties, brand deal socials, or filming videos, you were involved in more social interaction than you’d ever been exposed to back home. You were much more introverted than Jake, and the changes were sudden, but you were slowly getting the hang of it. Plus, Jake loved when you were involved, he wanted you to be there. You loved making him happy, so you were hardly one to say no. That being said, the once small group of fans you’d garnered from being featured in Jake’s early videos was not-so-little anymore, and you were gaining quite the following. This had never been the life you’d wanted per se, but it was growing on you. 

You turned your head towards Jake’s and smiled back at him, “Of course I’ll go with you.” 

He blushed, “Yayyyy, I love my best friend!” He squealed in a silly high pitched voice, and you giggled. You wrapped your arm around his waist and buried your head against his neck, spooning him for the rest of the movie. 

After it ended you let go of his waist to go get ready for the party, which elicited a whine from Jake, “Aww, I was comfy,” He pouted and let out a huff. 

You laugh, “We can cuddle later! I have to go get sexy for tonight,” You joke. 

“You always look sexy, we’re wasting valuable bestie nap time,” he gave you puppy eyes, and you blushed. It was the first time he’d ever called you sexy. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” You giggle, and look away, trying to hide your pink cheeks and hot ears. 

“Look at you like what?” He asks innocently, continuing to give you his biggest, prettiest puppy eyes. 

“Shut up,” You laugh, swatting your hand at him as you walk towards the door. 

“Hate you!” He shouts after you as you walk across the hall toward your bedroom. 

“Hate you more!” You yell back. 

–

Two hours later, you’re finally completely ready for the party. You took an ‘everything shower’, applied a full face of your favorite glam makeup, painted your nails, and put on a brand new lacy, skin-tight, black dress. You emerge from your bedroom and walk back across the hall to Jake’s room, knocking on the door.

He opens it and stares at you in awe. He could hardly stop his jaw from dropping as he got his first look at you, and you giggle with embarrassment.

“Hi,” You say, cheeks blushing.

“Hi,” He responds, still looking you up and down, unable to tear his eyes away from your body. “You look incredible.”

You let out a modest scoff and look away, “Stop it.” 

“I mean it, y/n! You are… stunning.”

He makes eye contact with you as he thoughtfully lands on the last word, stunning. You feel a wide grin spread across your face, the rosy hue in your cheeks definitely deepening even more, but for some reason, you weren’t embarrassed anymore, only confident. 

“Thanks, Jakey. You don’t look so bad yourself,” You say, finally eyeing him up in the same way he’d done to you. He was wearing low waisted baggy jeans and a cropped baby tee, showcasing the star tattoos traveling down his v-line. Your eyes lingered there for a second too long, and you couldn’t stop yourself from imagining kissing each of those stars before wrapping your mouth around his cock. 

He caught the glint in your eye and leaned against the door frame, smirking down at you, “Like what you see?” he teased, casually placing a hand in his pocket.

You feel yourself blushing again, but you stay strong, taking a step closer and smiling up at him, “Maybe I do.” 

He maintains eye contact with you for a few seconds, and before you know it you’re competing, seeing who will break the awkward sexual tension first.

He breaks, and his smug smirk falls into a grin as he playfully pushes your forehead away from him, “C’mon ya freak, let’s go to the party,” He laughs. 

You walk the few blocks to Tara’s house, listening to Jake rant about one of his recent hyperfixations. You loved listening to him rant. He wasn’t a big talker, and usually you were the one who did the majority of the ranting in your friendship, but sometimes Jake would allow himself to rant about something he loved. He only did it with people he was super comfortable with, and it wasn’t too often, even then. But tonight, he must have been in an extra good mood, because he talked the entire walk. You smiled, and nodded, and asked him questions, which he loved, both because it signified to him that he wasn’t boring you, and because it meant he got to keep talking about something he enjoyed. You loved seeing him like this, bubbly and excited and blabbing on and on about a show you’d never even heard of. When you finally arrived at Tara’s house, he turned to you and said, “Woah, I really just talked that entire time about Peaky Blinders, didn’t I?”

“Yup. But don’t worry, I love hearing your voice,” You smile, and he grins down at you.

“I love hearing your voice too, y/n.”

You knock on Tara’s door, and she opens within seconds. “Jake! Y/n! Welcome!! It’s so good to see you guys, you both look amazing!” She pulls you both into quick hugs and you follow behind her into the packed house. She had cleared out some of the furniture for a makeshift dance floor, and people were definitely putting it to use. She led you to the kitchen where you spotted bottles of liquor littered throughout. “Help yourself!” She shouted over the loud Ice Spice song that was currently playing, and walked away to greet more guests.

You and Jake shared a look, already knowing this party was going to be overstimulating unless you got some alcohol in your systems ASAP. He poured you both a shot of whatever was closest and shouted “Cheers!” before you both downed them. 

It only took a few drinks for you both to start feeling warm and buzzed. You grab his hand and begin leading him to the dance floor, social anxiety be damned. 

“Y/n are we actually about to dance right now?” Jake asked from behind you, and when you turned to face him, you saw a big, stupid grin on his face.

“Yes, Jake! I want to throw ass with my best friend, since when is that a crime?” You shout back dramatically, still tugging on his hand. 

He suddenly yanks your hand, pulling your body closer to his. In one swift motion, he’s wrapped your arm around the back of his neck, while his hands grip your hips tightly, steadying your body in front of him. He leans into your neck, lips grazing your ear as he whispers, “Ya know, I meant what I said earlier… you look beautiful.” 

You sigh at his words, leaning your head back to rest against his chest. You pull his neck closer, forcing his head down so you can whisper back, “I- I don’t just want to be your best friend anymore.” 

“I know,” He says, “I think… I think a part of me has always known. It was always going to be you, I just couldn’t see it yet. But I do now and… and I want you so bad-” You cut him off, closing whatever little space was left between your mouths, taking in all of him. You had imagined this situation millions of times– what it would feel like to envelope your lips in his. Were they soft? Warm? Was he messy or gentle? For years, you had fantasized about this moment, never thinking it’d actually happen. Yet here you are, finally. Kissing your best friend. And it was better than you could have ever dreamed, like a drug. As soon as you got a taste, you craved more. You swiveled your body so you were facing him, and his hands moved up and down your back and further down to squeeze your ass. You lifted yourself onto your tiptoes, bringing yourself even closer to him, hands tangling through his hair, as if in a desperate attempt to swallow him whole. One word rang out in your head over and over: more. 

You broke away eventually, gasping for breath, but he didn’t stop. Instead he moved down your jawline, sloppily kissing anywhere his lips landed, letting out soft grunts as he made his way down your neck, stopping to suck on a particularly sensitive area where he noticed your breath catch. 

“Wait,” You said, and he immediately stopped, placing a hand on your cheek.

“What is it? I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” He asks, genuine concern painting his face.

“No, no! I just… I wanna make sure you mean it. You’re not just saying this because we’re tipsy, right? Because it’s real for me. You’re my best friend, Jake, and you always will be. But… I wanna be more. I wanna be yours.”

His face softens and he leans in to kiss you gently now, his hand still cradling your cheek. “Y/n, I promise, you are mine. And I’m yours. I’ve been yours since the day you moved in. I might be tipsy, but I’m still aware of what’s going on. I swear, I want this. I want you. Only you.” 

Tears well in your eyes and he wipes them away, “Don’t cry, angel.” 

“I just really love you.” You say, and the biggest smile you’ve ever seen spreads across his face.

“I really love you, too. God, I’ve wanted to say that for so long,” He lets out a relieved sigh. 

You lower your voice to a whisper against his ear, “I really think we should get out of here. You look so fucking sexy.” You’re the one kissing down his neck now, and he breathes out “Fuck.” 

You lead him through the crowd again, this time toward the front door. An Irish goodbye would have to do– being socially unacceptable would be worth it to be naked in his arms. 

---

this piece marks the end of my writing block! i have so many good johnnie requests from you guys that i'm excited to get working on :) as always likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[seventeenlovesthree]

Character/Relationship Analysis: How Taichi's and Sora's arcs in the late Etemon/early Vamdemon arc are intertwined, how they (in)directly activate each other's Crests and how they're the most important plot drivers/leading figures at this point in the series.

One of my early theories regarding the character line-up in Adventure was how Sora could have potentially been the secondary main character besides Taichi (instead of Yamato). And I still believe that nothing makes that theory more apparent than taking a close look at how the "Crest activation period" frames these two as main plot drivers that are the reason why the group sticks together - and also why they all found their way back together after Taichi's disappearance. So let's break this down, shall we.

As pointed out in the analysis post above, when you just watch the opening of the series without any context, you might assume that Sora is the secondary/female main character anyway, because she (and Piyomon) are basically always coming after Taichi (and Agumon). And if you look at Sora's impact in the series, that isn't even too farfetched - especially when you consider that she is LITERALLY stepping up to be leader in the Etemon arc in the novels while Taichi is in a dark spot, whereas Yamato is later on declared to be "too emotional to be a leader".

That aside, let's dig into the set-up here: In the Etemon arc, Sora's Crest is the last to be found. We do not know a lot about the characters' singular arcs at this point, so watching her worrying about the situation doesn't strike the viewer as too weird yet. While it astonishes her that Taichi is so keen on finding her Crest for her sake (despite knowing how selfless he can be too), Taichi himself doesn't see any reason to falter and reassures her instead. This is important, because these two have known each other for quite a while already; they have been in the same class together since elementary school, are also partners in their football club - thus, Taichi's view on Sora is pretty settled. He is very vocal when it comes to "words of reassurance" towards people he cares about and so he repeatedly mentions how caring and selfless Sora is to him, how she always worries about others first and how she shouldn't doubt herself and her qualities - neither because of her own perception of herself nor because of the lies PicoDevimon had been feeding her. Because Sora's perception of herself is indeed slightly skewed, but we will get to that.

Taichi's road to (re)discovering his personal sense of courage is irrevocably linked to his wish to save Sora; initially, his recklessness had repeatedly caused trouble, not only by letting his own Digimon partner go through a dark evolution, but also because he let one of his longest and best friends get captured by the enemy. He initially promised that they would find her Crest for her - and now he is being humbled once more, threatened by an electrical fence right in front of him that could potentially kill him, punishing for losing his way once again. He is aware that something important was lost, referring to both his "brave heart" - and Sora.

Why is that so important?

Not only is Taichi fulfilling both of his promises in the end - saving Sora himself and personally giving her the Crest they've been looking for -, but this is (in)directly mirrored in Sora's arc as well.

Once Taichi disappears after defeating Etemon, the group starts to search for him - for two whole months, while some of them already start to lose hope and drift apart. Sora realizes that the group is torn on how to proceed, but can't stop herself from wishing to find Taichi. Because, once again, something important was lost, indirectly referring to both Taichi - and the sense of togetherness in the group. One might argue that her leaving the others behind may not look very sensible at first glance - but just like she was the one who enabled Taichi's Crest to glow, her disappearance indirectly has an impact on (almost) everybody else's arcs as well. (Additionally, they would not have learned the meanings of the Crests, if Sora hadn't overheard PicoDevimon talking about them to Vamdemon...)

As a complementary force to Sora, Taichi's return reunites the group bit by bit. It almost feels like they're acting as fairy godparents to everyone else, each in their own way - while Sora is hiding in the shadows, giving everyone advice (Agumon, Mimi) or physical aid (Jyou, Yamato) to protect and guide them in the right direction, Taichi directly tries to pull them out of their corrupted viewpoints (Takeru, Yamato, Mimi, Koushirou rather indirectly), whether through words or actions. It's absolutely no surprise that the scene where Yamato tells Taichi that he was the one who brought them all back together (episode 28) is basically a direct mirror of them all coming together to agree to save Sora (episode 20). Because these two are the glue that keeps it all together.

And so, of course it puzzles Taichi that Sora doesn't want to reveal herself to the group again. Of course it surprises him that the girl, whom they all came together for to rescue, who secretly protected all of them behind the scenes due to her kind heart and selflessness and who never gave up looking for him - once again, doubts herself like that. Not only that, she screams at him, tells him that he has no idea who she really is. That her "love" is a facade, that she has no idea what love even means - that she had lost (or never even possessed) her personal sense of love.

(To go on a small tangent here, their framing is just endlessly interesting to me, because the misunderstanding and miscommunication between them is a red thread that spins throughout the entirety of the series. And it is rather tragic, because throughout it all - they actually never really seem to be drifting apart, but due to their lack of means of communication, they cannot be close for some reason. Whether you think of them as platonic or romantic doesn't even matter, the general idea remains the same: They are on each other's minds, they are incredibly important to one another and never stop feeling that way, consciously or subconsciously. It's why Taichi encourages Sora to be with Yamato, but still goes observing the black spore kids together with her in 02, it's why Sora still feels comfortable being physically close to Taichi in DSB and Tri, it's why she gets upset that he ALWAYS gets her - somewhat - right despite not finding the CORRECT words in OWG and Tri, it's why the connections never vanishes in Kizuna... But they're also both awfully insecure about certain parts of themselves, especially when it comes down to decision-making towards their futures and selves. Since neither of them can be fully open up to each other about that, things kinda feel like they are on hold.)

In the end, Taichi (mirrored by Pyocomon's words below) had been correct to tell Sora not to believe in PicoDevimon's lies, not to give in to her own self-doubts - and eventually, she realizes that, just like her mother, she simply did not want anyone else to get hurt even more.

The way Taichi is framed here, smiling at her with absolute glee and satisfaction marks the end of this arc - while he wasn't directly triggering her Crest to be activated, he still believed in her best qualities just like her Digimon partner did, refusing to let her get corrupted more. And even if the infamous sentence "I want Sora's love too" is more of a light-hearted little throw-away line, it's intriguing to look at the potential implications overall here: Since Taichi's arc of Courage was fueled by his wish to save Sora, since Taichi was the one who eventually gave Sora the Crest of Love, since both their arcs were initially sparked by their wishes to find each other again as they took the others under their wings like proud parents... Let's say, after all this time since Taichi had successfully saved Sora, after all the searching leading up to finally being reunited (after several months in Sora's case), they both must have been incredibly relieved that it had all turned out nicely. To see each other again alive and well.

It started with his Crest - and ended with hers.

Long story short, the Adventure would have stopped rather early if it hadn't been for these two, their bond and loyalty toward each other - and also their sense of leadership.

Last note: Shout-out to the third most important character in this arc - if it hadn't been for Koushirou, Taichi would not have found Sora, may not even have found a way back to the Digital World and they also would not have been able to solve the card riddle to get back home.

[impossiblesuitcase]

Levana has two core tenets that drive her entire personal philosophy, both actively damaging and sustaining her: her need to be beautiful and her need to be loved. They are irrevocably intertwined and are ultimately her undoing.

Two people in her life dictate these notions--Channary and Evret. Channary implanted the desire to be loved and the necessity to be beautiful once Levana is disfigured. Without any willing participation from Evret, Levana carries over these insecurities, needing to be loved by him when Channary fails her and needing to keep up her glamour to feel beautiful. If Solstice is the only woman he can see as beautiful, that's what Levana must become. She sabotages her relationship with him after she shows him her true appearance; she refuses to be loved for her true self, and once he sees it, he must be disposed of. Evret lives on in Winter, who reinforces that Levana cannot ever control them as she wears her three uniform scars with pride.

With the death of these two motivators, she feels free of the burden of needing them. But the demand to be beautiful and loved is indefatigable, so she replaces them with an unearthly, ethereal glamour in her quest for vanity, and the contrived love from her citizens to feel wanted. These are both fundamentally artificial and never satisfy her, so she must always strive for more. Her body, face, voice 'improve' countless times over decades, as she is never sure that they are perfect enough. Her armies become fiercer, her inventory larger, and she sets her sights on the largest territory to conquer--Earth--all in the name of supplying her people to buy their love. Levana could have at any point abandoned her course of tyranny and used her circumstances to reform herself and her country's systemic disparity. She chooses every day to reject these opportunities and each action deepens her need to maintain the façade of love and looks. She is to be pitied, but not to be pardoned.

In order for Levana to be defeated as a villain, she must not only die, but must have her philosophy completely overturned. Kai takes the place of Evret and she replays her manipulation in the same way on their wedding day. But when she marries Kai, glamouring as his lover as she did to Evret, he dismantles her beauty, stating that she will never be as beautiful as the glamourless Linh Cinder. This directly mirrors Evret's loyalty to Solstice and it hurts Levana--not because she loves Kai in any way like she loved Evret--but because the message lives on in him. She is always inadequate.

Her glamour and her loyalties fall in one fell swoop. Her people come to her door to kill her, and her true face is blown up in the sky, permanently tainting her image. With her vanity blighted, all that's left is the fundamental nucleus of her problems: her relationship with Channary. It is the chief relationship in her life, even posthumously, and is the very cause of her perverted worldview. Levana never killed Channary and that is her greatest regret.

When Cinder arrives--Channary's near reincarnation in appearance--Levana has her second chance. It is particularly imperative to her to eliminate Selene because Levana was never loved by Channary, while Selene was. Her existence is a mockery of Levana's pain because it clarifies that Channary was capable of love and actively withheld it from Levana. However when Levana burnt Cinder alive, she levelled the playing field. She assigned Cinder a life of enduring the same prejudice and inadequacy that she faced. Therefore in their final battle, Levana likens Cinder to herself and her need to be desired. By killing Selene, she will finally prove that she has killed her need to be loved by Channary.

To do this, she sets up the perfect replica for this prophetic revenge. Cinder's friend will betray her as Channary did Levana, and Cinder will retaliate as Levana herself wished to do. It is particularly powerful that it is not Kai in the room at this final battle. Romantic love is irrelevant now. Instead it is Thorne, whom Cinder loves as family. Their almost sibling-like dynamic is now reflective of Channary and Levana. Levana asserts that this kind of love is false. But Cinder and Thorne demonstrate their loyalty to one another--even when Thorne is manipulated to hurt her, Cinder attacks Levana, not him. He proves his love in his sobs and apologies as his body rebels. Levana's final desire, to prove that love is merely a conquest and a war, is dashed.

In the end, Levana stabs Cinder, but it doesn't matter. Her worldview is shattered, her tenuous beliefs severed. That is where Levana is defeated. The final shot that kills her is simply to finalise the matter. Her tenets die with her and can be replaced with the true forms of beauty and love. Cinder and Winter, disfigured and scarred and unashamed. Kai, who loves Cinder and loves her appearance because she gave him good reason to, and never through manipulation. Cinder, who attains loyalty from the citizens of Luna and Earth alike through her action and compassion.

Love is not conquered, love is not a war; it is earned.

[palfriendpatine66]

@asharadaine submitted this ask that I accidentally hit delete instead of answer - my bad:

NSFW headcanon Anakin is a literal supernova in the force and Obi-Wan is INTO it

Encouraged by the stuttered gasp and the thick fingers suddenly scrambling for purchase amongst messy curls, Anakin steadily slid into Obi-Wan until he could go no further. Anakin let out a groan of pleasure from above as Obi-Wan’s walls clenched around him in a warm embrace and after a last wavering moment of effort lost his hold on his shields, overwhelmed.

Like a river that had been restrained for far too long bursting through a dam to reclaim its rightful place, Anakin’s Force presence slammed into Obi-Wan completely unbridled and unchecked. Warmth and light and a feeling that was utterly and distinctly Anakin crashed down upon him until, just like their bodies, it was impossible to discern where one ended and the other began. Every part of them was intertwined; Anakin’s pleasure was his pleasure, his joy was his joy, and even the Force itself flowed between them freely. Obi-Wan reached his orgasm suddenly and violently as Anakin and all that he was flooded his body and his every sensation and his very being. He registered the physical sensations with one fraction of his awareness; the rest was wrapped around the blinding light that was Anakin at his core, the two nestled in the protective cocoon of the Force as it moved through them and around them in a way neither had felt before and knew would change them irrevocably.

Ask and you shall receive: send me a nsfw headcanon and I’ll write a 5 sentence ficlet

shhhh pretend that was 5 sentences. I’ve done 14 of these at this point and this is the only one that I’ve gone over!

[marauders-brain-rot]

How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)

Wrote a really heavy and quite depressing chapter today and needed to fix my brain by writing something cute and fluffy. So, here is 1,468 words of pure Wolfstar fluff. (No Voldy/war, honestly could be with or without actual magic, I don’t make it clear either way so if you want it to be a muggle au then it can be or if you just want it to be a no Voldy au that works too)

Sirius was almost certain he’d wear a hole in the carpet long before Remus got home. He’d been pacing for hours now, his stomach tied in knots thinking about that night and what would come of it. 

It was their anniversary, eight years together as an official couple and tonight would change everything for them. They’d had nights like these before, the kind that would imprint themselves on their memories and brand themselves across their skin, tying them irrevocably together in a way that no one else would ever understand. 

The first was when they’d confessed their love for one another, never ones to do things by halves, that had been the night they’d first gotten together. They’d danced around their feelings for a while before that, their friendship always coming first, until one night where they couldn’t take the tension between them any longer. There’d been a screaming match that ended in a passionate kiss and finally a confession of their undying love for one another. They ended that night wrapped together in Remus’s bed in the boys dormitory, foreheads pressed together and bodies intertwined to the point where it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. 

The next one had been when they decided to get a place of their own, another night full of tears and kisses. They’d gotten a place with James and Peter as soon as they’d left school, wanting to be out on their own but still with their closest friends, who had really become more like brothers. The years spent in that flat had been some of the best of their lives, the nights spent drunk on the floor and sprawled across the furniture would live in their minds forever, as spotty as those memories were. But, they needed their own space. It had been Remus who had said something first, though Sirius had thought it for a while. He loved their little flat with their two best mates, but sometimes he wanted to be alone with the man he loved, wanted to spend nights and days wrapped in one another’s arms without feeling like it was an intrusion on their friends' lives. And so, after a very long and very tear filled discussion, they agreed to start looking. 

Then, they bought their house together. A sanctuary for the two of them that they made entirely their own. Their first night there together was one that he hoped would never leave him, even on his last days on this planet. They’d spent the day unpacking, James and Peter had finally left and the house was quiet at last, something they hadn’t experienced possibly ever. They’d gotten their favourite mugs down from their new home in the cabinet to the left of the sink, poured cups of their favourite tea, put on their favourite James Taylor record and danced in the living room to How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) together with the biggest smiles plastered on their faces.

Then came the night they’d gotten engaged, something that had been magical all on its own. Remus had asked him, because of course he had. Sirius had been planning on asking Remus, but of course he’d beaten him to it. It was private and intimate and unequivocally theirs. If Sirius closed his eyes he could see the rose petals strewn about, the lanterns that lit their home, could smell the undeniable scents of his favourite meal that Remus had spent all day cooking for him. Remus had said some beautiful, wonderful, magical words about how Sirius was his guiding light in the sea of darkness, how he’d have lost himself entirely without him and how he never wanted to bear the pain of living life without the man he’d loved since they were only boys. Sirius kissed him then, couldn’t stand to wait another moment where rings didn’t adorn their fingers claiming them for one another and as soon as Remus placed the one he’d gotten Sirius on his finger, Sirius had sprinted up the steps and practically flown into their room to get the ring he’d gotten for Remus. That night they’d fallen asleep together, their fingers interlocked and rings pressed against one another’s. 

Then, they’d gotten married. It was small, intimate and beautiful, another day with magic thick in the air. Their closest friends were there, and even Regulus came as he and Sirius had mended their relationship years prior, it was everything Sirius had ever wanted. To be able to look into the eyes of the man he loved and tell him how he was the physical embodiment of magic, how he’d loved him for over a decade and still found new reasons to love him every single day, how he had never really known what any kind of love looked like until he’d looked into his eyes. They danced to How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) as their first dance and kissed under the stars in the company of those that loved them most, soaking in every moment of the night together and relishing in the complete togetherness they finally got to experience. 

All of that brought him to now, tonight, a night that would change the rest of their lives just like all the others had. He’d cooked Remus’s favourite meal, gotten his favourite cake from the bakery 45 minutes away and set the house perfectly for the mood. Everything was perfect, everything would be perfect. So why did he feel like something might go wrong? 

He heard the key turning in the lock and felt his breath leave him, there would be no turning back now. As soon as Remus opened the door and saw Sirius standing there a broad smile spread across his face, the confusion coming next as he saw the setting around him. 

“Sirius?” He hadn’t expected them to do anything tonight, Sirius had been planning this surprise for a week now and though their wedding anniversary wasn’t for another month, he felt tonight was the right night. 

“Welcome home, love,” he kissed Remus’s cheek before leading him to the table laden with candles. 

“What’s all this?” His smile was the brightest thing in the room and how Sirius longed for it to last a lifetime. 

“Eat first, we’ll talk after cake.” Was it a slightly cowardly move to put off this conversation? Possibly, but he didn’t want dinner or cake to go to waste if the conversation went how he thought it would. When they’d finally finished eating and the record had stopped for the second time, Remus finally turned expectantly to Sirius. 

“Want to tell me what this is about, love?”

“I want to start off by saying that I love our life here, I love you and I love our home and I love the life we’ve built for ourselves.” He paused, needing his words to sink in before he continued. “And I want you to know that this is because of how much I love you and how much I know you love me, I want us to share our love.”

“Okay?” 

“Do you remember my cousin, Tonks?”

“Of course I do.”

“Right, well, she’s pregnant and she can’t take care of a baby right now. She’s just getting started on her career and she has her whole life ahead of her, she’s in no place to be having a child. But, well, we are.” He paused, waiting for his words to sink in and once they did he watched as Remus’s face transformed entirely. 

“You want to adopt her baby?” The smile on his face rivalled all others Sirius had seen, it practically lit up the world with how brilliant it was. All Sirius could do was nod and swallow nervously. “I would be honoured to have a baby with you.”

That night they laughed and cried, they held onto one another tighter than they ever had before. They got their favourite mugs down from the cabinet to the left of the sink, poured cups of their favourite tea, and put on their favourite James Taylor record and danced around the living room to How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You). 

And how sweet it was, really, to love and be loved in return. To have a lifetime of memories together already and a lifetime of them more to look forward to. To know that their love would live beyond them and would change the lives of not only themselves but also of this new little baby they would be adding into their perfect little world and any others they might end up with along the line. They’d chosen one another, chosen love, and chosen life, and how sweet a life it was turning out to be. 

[vashtijoy]

Just in case you, like me, missed this, here's a quick Akechi callback in the third semester, where the sea-urchin spikes are fully on, er, point.

This is when they strike their deal on 1/2, just after Akechi has arrived at Leblanc to explain it all some of it. Just before they leave, his voice pitches up mockingly, he strikes a variant of his little side-on I-will-murder-you pose, and he says this:

Akechi 今さら断ったりしないよね? ima sara kotowattari shinai yo ne? Now that we've made ourselves a new deal, you wouldn't turn me down, would you? After everything that's happened, you won't say no, will you?

... and for some reason Joker doesn't punch him in the face.

So what is that supreme bit of asshattery a callback to, exactly? Yeah:

Akechi 代わりに、取引だ⋯まさか、断ったり⋯しない、よな⋯? kawari ni, torihiki da... masaka, kotowattari... shinai, yo na...? Let's make a deal, okay? You won't say no, will you?

I'm not giving a translation for this one because the official translation is the point, but look at that kawari ni at the start—"in exchange, instead, as a substitute"—"because I did this for you". Akechi's "deal", his torihiki, is an exchange—Joker is to change Shido's heart in exchange for Akechi's sacrifice.

Speculation: this is interesting because Joker is on his way to change Shido's heart anyway—there's no need to bargain for it. So it's almost like Akechi is offering him a way out of his guilt for what's happening—or, as Akechi would see it, a way to cancel the debt.

Obviously, as eny fule kno, this is not super effective.

in which akechi is a dick

Here are the two transliterated lines side-by-side, so you can see that they're essentially the same:

ima sara kotowattari shinai yo ne? kawari ni, torihiki da... masaka, kotowattari... shinai, yo na...?

There are a couple of points on 1/2 when Akechi gets shamelessly in Joker's face with his lack of repentance and his emotional denial about the engine room. "Oh, did you think you changed my heart? Cute. Let me show you that you didn't, and haven't, and can't. Let me show you, before you can think about bringing it up, that I'm still just who I was, that none of that shit that happened meant anything to me."

This is the first: "we did not have a moment just before I definitely didn't die. in fact, so little did we have a moment that I'm going to rub it in your face and use it to manipulate you." It's convincing, except that we all saw the scene, we know what was said, we know Akechi's motives and what he always wanted, and we all know what Akechi at least tried to do.

It's a funny moment, and it's an immense dick move, taking their relationship from the one they had at the end, where they were irrevocably intertwined and where Akechi was exposed, back to a place Akechi is more comfortable in. And that place is at an emotional orbit of ten thousand kilometres, of course.

[lynnthefrenchtoast]

https://www.tumblr.com/lynnthefrenchtoast/750277882890403840/what-is-your-otps-theme-song?source=share

Can I ask, what do you think BingQiu and MoShang's songs are?

AAAAAAAAAAA

WAIT. I MIGHT CHANGE THESE LATER. THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION WHY DID I NEVER THINK TO DO THIS. ANYWAY, I INITIAL THOUGHTS:

Bingqiu - Hot & Heavy by Lucy Dacus

the song title being a sex joke. very fitting.

the song is about returning to a place with lots of memories of someone you loved. dare i say, QING JING PEAK??

"you used to be so sweet now you're a firecracker on a crowded street" - lbh on how shen yuan used to coddle him like a precious disciple and now theyre just strangers, hes meant to be a stranger in a crowd, but shen yuan is still like the sun to him - a bright firecracker that steals all his attention

"couldnt look away even if i wanted" - canon for BOTH OF THEM

"how could i deny a diamond in the rough?" - having exceptional qualities but lacking refinement... that's LITERALLY luo binghe. exceptionally strong and naturally talented but unable to read. and also very canon, shen yuan cannot deny him.

"you let me in your world until you had enough" - you let me onto your peak, you taught me, treasured me, and then one day you decided you had enough and threw me into the depths of hell and never told me why

"you were always stronger than people suspected / underestimated and overprotected" - THIS. shen yuan is guarded by the war god, the sect leader, zhuzhi lang, mu qingfang. but luo binghe KNOWS his strength. luo binghe has never protected him because he undermined his own capability; shen qingqiu is the one who taught him his own strength

"it happens over and over and over and over again" - their constant cycle of hurting and healing. of being each others' killer and cure. you take me in, you abuse me, then you love me, then you throw me down the abyss, then you fear me, run from me, then you die for me, come back for me, fight with me, fight for me, kiss my forehead, you get hurt by me and then you marry me. i love you but i cannot stop hurting you. (these two really love running in circles aiya)

"it's bittersweet to see you again" - i feel like this song perfectly captures that bittersweetness at the crux of bingqiu. they dont always love each other. there's fear and hurt and fury and revenge all irrevocably intertwined. but behind all of it? it's a love song. all this hurt wouldnt hurt so much if it wasn't love to begin with

ILL DO MOSHANG LATER BUT FOR NOW UHHH ICE ICE BABY

[calledbyflowers]

i luv the weird almost metaphysical strain of communist thinking. like neoliberalism creates a certain kind of self. it imposes one way of being human. and so communism as a project is ultimately correlativelt both a project of reinventing the economic order of the world and also, what amounts to the same thing, reinventing what it means to be human

and ultimately lt is the most kind of idk insistent and noncompromising on this point. she is not just content for her and her friends to be allowed a new way of being human. she will ensure nobody will be human in quite the same way they used to be. that u can never go back. not quite. not exactly. its universal salvation. for everyone. thats what the memorial foundation means to me. nobody left behind. its a universalism that looks the most squishy and liberal of the options but when u fink thru its implications. its the most truly apocalyptic. nothing changes that much but everything is different. its the least dramatic but the most radical. the most uncompromising option. it is truly revolutionizing the world rather than breaking off from it. it is the second coming. this is what the book of revelations was talking abt

and obvs when i speak in terms of "the self" im not understanding this in terms of a substantial psychology in which the self is its own distinct "thing." this is still to remain trapped in liberal ideology (the theoretical abstraction which neoliberalism as a political project wants to make real, to reduce flesh intertwined irrevocably w flesh to a collection of distinct autonomous individuals). a transformation and revolution in the nature of the self is nothing other than a revolution in the economic order of society which is the crucible and the context in which the self is formed and shaped, out of which the self is formed. in the true spirit of the phenomenological correlation, to speak in terms of the selves whose manifold fleshly interrelations and interactions constitute the social world and to speak in terms of the institutions and structures and dynamics of the social world is to use two different languages or take two different perspectives on the same fundamental reality, this being the economic order itself

[possibly-not-a-ghost]

I want whatever the All Devouring Narwhal and Tartaglia have because damn.

The new OST release made me gave me another smack of how intertwined they are when the Narwhal makes it's appearance. Tartaglia's boss third phase is all over that track. Sure, you could argue that it's because his Foul Legacy makes an appearance and the motif does make an appearance when he comes onto the scene but christ.

There's something about a trans-dimensional creature being irrevocably bound to a mortal like Childe. Are they eldritch soulmates? Are they kindred? Two sides of a very strange coin? Is one impacting the other more? I don't know but it hits.