#irondad kids

[the-poor-miranha-quotes]

8 year old Morgan: When I was 4 I went out into the backyard and let a spider bite me so I could be like the spider man.

Morgan: then my parents took me to the doctor and he diagnosed me with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

Morgan: I was terrified that the spider had done this

Peter: you… you what?!

[negasonic9403]

Deaf!Peter trying out his new suit for the first time

Peter: Woah, Mr. Stark this is so cool! The suit is amazing!

Tony: It's got quite a lot of special features kid

Karen (AI): *smaller screen focuses in on Tony's lips and brings up captions that Peter can read*

Peter: *confused* You programmed my suit with captions?

Tony: *smirking* Well duh, I can't have you running around clueless when there's too much background noise or if someone's turned away while they're explaining the plan. That also works with the comm system too and if your AI ever goes down, but your suit still has power, I added a feature where you can alert me that you're on your own so I can intervene if need be

Peter: *pauses slightly as he's reading along while Tony's speaking* Wow, thank you Mr. Stark! That's just— wow! This really helps a lot, thank you!

Tony: It works for other languages too. The captions will appear in English

Tony: *signing in Italian Sign Language* Including other sign languages

Karen: *shows Peter captions in English*

Peter: *signing in ASL and excited* It worked! You said it includes other sign languages for the captions!

Tony: *signing in ASL and laughing* Yes, just don't expect me to know anymore Italian. I can speak it, not sign it

[minimarvelh]

Avengers: *sitting on the couch and watching film*

Peter: *got out of his room and goes into the kitchen to drink water*

Tony: hey kid, do you wanna play monopoly with us?

Peter: sure, why not

*five minutes after*

Peter, buying 10th house: you know why you’re so weak? Because you lack a killer instinct👹🔪

Steve:* carefully crawls away from Peter *

Peter: You don’t have it..you’re not a killer..you need to not only be able to kill, but..but enjoy it😈

Clint: *throws everything he got and runs*

source: tiktok moschinodorito

[iaminevitable012]

Peter: *crying*

Tony: *distressed father mode activated* WHAT'S WRONG??1!?!?1?!?!?1?1?1

Peter: I HAD A DREAM WHERE I HAD A PET ECHIDNA NAMED PLATYPUS AND IT DIED!!!!

Tony: why do I even bother

[i-a-q]

Morgan: Can I have a lightsaber?

Tony: A what now?

Morgan: A lightsaber. Please?

Tony: Oh dear god Peter showed you Star Wars...

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #151

There is a LOT of Iron Man merch out there. One day, Stark Industries comes out with a line of Iron Man themed night lights that look like arc reactors. The marketing? "For kids who are scared of the dark: Iron Man will protect you."

In completely unrelated news, a whole bunch of child abusers across the country have recently been arrested as a result of  anonymous tips to local authorities.

Bonus:

It's an open secret at some point. Teens who are being abused start buying the night lights. Hell, adults start buying them. Charities pop up to cover the cost for anyone who needs it. Kids who are newly safe often send their night lights on to others ("I'm not scared of the dark anymore," they say).

Even with all of this, nobody snitches to the media or government. They all know grown-ups tend to complicate and ruin precious things.

It helps that the night lights clearly can distinguish between different types of situations. Kids whose parents need mental health or addiction support suddenly find they're being contacted by free services that actually help. If ICE is a concern, the people knocking on the door are not cops but immigrant rights activists. Kids who are hungry get food. Families who need housing support coincidentally find it.

"Iron Man will protect you," indeed.

This fic idea was inspired by this post from @fotibrit!!

[m00nagedreamin]

peter parker totally has a playlist of songs that remind him of ironman that he made before he became spiderman

he still listens to it he just… chooses to not let anyone see that playlist name. yk since sharing that you used to be a huge tony stark fanboy when you now work for him is unprofessional or something

[marionluth]

What if Peter learned about Harley's existence through a phone call Tony answered in front of him? Excerpt from my Irondad longfic that serves as an adorable stand-alone of Harley-Tony goodness!

Wordcount: 887

* Peter and Tony were discussing something, when Tony's phone rang and he asked Peter if he minded answering. Peter said it was fine. He didn't regret it. *

“After a whole week of dodging my calls, sending me texts with barely-readable Gen Z slang and abbreviations, I'm borderline worried—nevertheless, happy to finally hear your voice, terrorist,” Tony sent into the phone, causing Peter to look up at him with surprised and confused eyes.

“You know what? I’m just gonna say this, and you make what you want out of it… Black bears simply aren’t eating enough people.”

Closing his eyes and letting out a breath through his nose, Tony prayed for strength and sanity, while Peter couldn’t help but snicker at the words his super hearing easily caught. He watched his mentor waiting for his answer, curiosity peaked.

“What did you do, Harley?”

“I mean… I know Rosehill is a town and all, but, dude! Climate change! Shouldn’t they, like, come down from the mountains and look for food and stuff in towns? Desperately rummaging through trash, finding nothing but our civilization's gloriously gross junk food - that even a hungry black bear wouldn’t touch - and then randomly eating a passerby?”

Peter snorted, trying to keep his amused vocalizations at the random tirade quiet, causing Tony to shake his head in terrified resignation at the inevitability of these two eventually meeting each other.

“And when I say randomly, I may or may not mean my English teacher,” Harley continued.

“What have I told you about applying yourself, Harley?” Tony asked, his resigned tone gaining an edge.

“Something that directly contradicts what you've told me about wasting my potential on frivolous things that won't matter in my future.”

“You see, Harley... The English language we're all jabbering away in, especially in those fancy colleges you're drooling over, doesn't fall into the category of frivolous things that won't matter for your future,” Tony stated.

“It's freaking Shakespeare, mech’!” Harley's voice was a whine now. “The man was crazy! A donkey-headed guy getting it on with fairy queens… I mean, come on!”

Biting his lower lip in an effort to keep himself from laughing, Tony took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact entirely with Peter, who was chuckling and shamelessly listening in to the conversation.

"Harley, we've had this chat before. You can't just bail on everything you don't like. You can’t expect you'll just breeze through school without breaking a sweat. You think MIT or Columbia will roll out the red carpet for you if you flunk everything except math, chem, and science?"

“I already got the lecture from Ava, man. Give me a break, here.”

“I'll give you a break when you give me one, terrorist. But until then, park yourself and hit the books. It's not rocket science; we're talking about fairy tales and donkey-faced characters here. If you can crack quadratic equations without even bothering with homework, I'm pretty sure you can handle Shakespeare.”

“That's torture!”

“No, Hamlet is torture. And you know what else will be torture? Whatever your mom and I come up with if you don’t start putting in some serious effort! You got a week to start straightening things out, Harl, or Ava and I will straighten you out instead. Capiche?”

“But wouldn’t it be a lot more cost-effective if you called school -all Tony Stark and shit - and demanded that I be excused from Shakespeare altogether? Oh, I know! We can make it a religious thing… Like studying Shakespeare goes against my religious dogma! That’s dope! They won’t be able to fight that if it comes from you…”

"Alright, kid, first things first: lay off the Red Bull. Second, if you put half as much effort into hitting the books as you do trying to wriggle out of this, we wouldn't even be having this chat. There's no shortcut around it. Buckle down and get to work."

“So that’s a no to my against-my-religion master plan?”

“That’s a no!”

“I hate you more than Shakespeare hated sanity,” came the resigned answer from the other line.

“Study, donkey-head,” Tony emphasized with a roll of his eyes before hanging up.

“I knew you had a kid hidden somewhere,” Peter said with a smirk.

Letting out a snort, Tony shook his head. "Harley isn't my kid, Pete. We bumped into each other a few years ago, and we've stayed in touch since then."

“That sounded like more than just staying in touch,” Peter commented, eyeing the man. “That’s how you roast me, too."

"Smooth talk, as always, Pete," Tony smirked. "I do lend a hand with Harley, but it's a bit of a different ball game. He's down in Tennessee, so it's more of a long-distance gig. The universe is not done testing me, though, and you two will get to meet. He spends some of his school breaks and a couple of weeks in summer here.”

“So you just habitually collect kids to part-time parent?” Peter asked with a small smile and a raised eyebrow.

Tony gaped at Peter as the kid’s deadpan statement registered. “I… don't have a retort to that.

[irondad-defensesquad]

tony: hey kid, you wanna see a little guy?

peter: ? ok?

tony: [sends a picture of little peter wearing an iron man hoodie and doing the iconic landing]

peter: MR STARK WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!!!

peter: DID AUNT MAY SEND YOU??

tony: this is perfection. i'm keeping this forever.

peter: NOOOOOOO

[starboodoesstuff]

If I think about [any found family] in [any superhero media] too long, I WILL sob

[pr0crastin]

Peter refusing to accept Tony’s money so Tony getting creative, I present to you

Tony breaking all of Peter and May’s things so he can replace them with better ones, examples include

Tony putting a fork in the toaster while it was on under the pretence of taking the bread out

well how was I supposed to know it doesn’t go in there? Friday usually makes me breakfast

Mr Stark you literally built an empire off of your technological genius-

Look kid, I’ll just get you a new one

Tony casually leaning against the fridge and knocking it over

I’m really buff kid I don’t like to talk about it

Tony testing out his thrusters in Peter’s living room, results include a destroyed television and a hole in the wall it was mounted on

Good thing we have spares in the basement

Spare whats? Walls?

Spare TVs, underoos. The wall I’ll have rebuilt- it was looking a little shaky anyways

That wall has stood perfectly fine for sixteen years-

Friday I’m gonna need you to send one of the spare plasma screens and two guys to install it, thanks

Tony straight up throwing the microwave out through the kitchen window

MR STARK-

Pete, do you know how detrimental microwaved food is to your health? I’ll get you a new one

WON’T IT STILL BE DETRIMENTAL

My own technology kid, you don’t look this young at my age just like that

Tony blasting a hole through the washing machine

So noisy these things. How do you stand them

Oh my God-

Pepper just bought a washing machine we don’t need, funny thing that

Tony setting the apartment on fire

I’d love to hear you explain this one Mr Stark

Irrelevant, also you can just move into the state of the art apartment at stark towers what a coincidence that it’s empty

[the-poor-miranha-quotes]

Morgan crying: no matter what i do, no one school... wants to be friends with me!

Harley: yeah i literally cant relate to that problem at all, but you know what NO one like?!

Harley: HEY PETER!!

Peter: first of all fuck you

[elithelakes]

guys what are you doing cause i’m sitting here with tears rolling down my face thinking about how tony literally went back in time to change the outcome of the universe for peter parker knowing there was a large risk of ruining/losing his own life

[minimarvelh]

Me, when I will be 80 years old: *in my bed, taking my last breath* give me-give me the photo of my boys.

My wife: *gives photo of our sons*

Me: nO, I sAiD “give me the photo of my boys”

Everyone: *confused*

Me, annoyed: Oh, you can’t even do my last wish properly. sit, I will do it myself

* take out a photo of Peter and Tony from my wallet*

Me: oh there you are, my precious boys.

My kids:

My whole family:

[spock-stark7]

One day you’re 11 years old going to the movies to watch the new Spider-Man movie that your cousin wants to watch, you fall in love with that Iron Man dude who’s in the movie for like five minutes, you get obsessed over their father and son relationship, you go back to watch all the marvel movies to have ever existed and the next day you’re 18 and very worried about a thing called Doomsday and Secret Wars

[acciowilltolive]

has this been done yet?