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theonotti · 9 months

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THAT FINAL NIGHT | OS | t.n.

Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!reader!Riddle

Word Count: 8k

Summary: Ten years after the Battle of Hogwarts. Theodore Nott is out of Azkaban. And after years and years of being apart, he's finally ready for the reunion he's been waiting on.

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, kind of angsty, kinda fluffy, pining, Modern AU where i moved up the battle so 10 years later is more present day

Notes: This is my first full Theo fic, please let me know what you think!

“Guess who’s in town.”

Theo hums thoughtfully while he sets the heavy box in his arms down on the counter, ripping the tape off.

“Oprah.”

Mattheo rolls his eyes.

“Try again.”

“The Queen.”

“The dead one?”

“Right. Forgot about that.”

Mattheo laughs, shaking his head as he grabs a rag and a spray bottle to wipe off the bar top.

“Got any other foolish guesses?” He asks. Theo pauses, feigning thought before shaking his head and resuming his work.

“Fresh out, I’m afraid.”

Theo grabs a pair of bottles from the open box then turns towards the shelves behind him. His back aches from the amount of moving he’s had to do. Running heavy boxes from his truck to the stockroom. Bending down while doing inventory. At the ripe age of 27, his back just isn’t what it used to be, and is in far worse shape than most men his senior.

Mattheo glances down at the bar briefly, the humor slowly fading from his expression, before he looks back up at his best friend.

“My sister.”

The bottle shatters as it hits the floor.

Theo jumps, not realizing one of the bottles had slipped from his hand until it was too late. Mattheo stares as Theo begins to clean up his mess, although if he notices that it happening right when his sister was mentioned is more than a coincidence, he doesn’t comment on it.

“Erm… What's she doing in town?” Theo asks casually as he kneels down with the broom and dustpan.

“Her and that rat, McLaggen, are finally getting divorced. She’s staying with me for a while.”

The room starts to swelter. Theo nods, trying to play off his sigh as one of sympathy rather than relief. Standing with the dustpan full of glass, he dumps the remains of the bottle into one of the other empty boxes he made while stocking before putting the cleaning supplies away. His hands slide into his pockets to wipe the sweat from his palms.

“How… how’s she handling it?”

This makes Mattheo pause. He glances up at his oldest friend, his look a mix of thoughtful and confused.

“She’s weirdly… calm about it,” He explains in a slow voice. “I think their marriage ended a long time ago, and she’s had time to mourn it before actually sticking the knife in it.”

The thought of you being miserable for that long before taking the plunge to leave sends Theo’s heart into a sadness he can’t explain. He looks away from Mattheo, trying to rationalize his thoughts before speaking again. Fortunately for him, Mattheo pipes up again before he has the chance.

“She’ll be at Malfoy’s party on Saturday. She can meet a new bloke there.”

A smile tugs at the corners of Theo’s mouth, but not over his friend’s cheeky remark.

“You’d rather her hook up with someone who aligns with Draco Malfoy?” Theo dares to ask as he looks back at the curly haired man next to him.

A beat passes.

“You’re right. She’s actually banned from the premises.”

A hearty laugh escapes Theo’s mouth as he turns away from Mattheo, although he could hear the seriousness in his friend’s tone behind the joke.

“Remind me… what did she see in McLaggen again?” Theo asks as he begins to fill the shelves behind the counter with the bottles he managed not to break. Mattheo sighs in exasperation, slapping the towel against the top of the bar.

“Fuck if I know,” Mattheo mumbles. “I asked her over and over how she could marry that creep. I think that’s why she stopped phoning, honestly.”

Theo raises his eyebrows only briefly, although with his back to Mattheo, it’s a look only expressed to himself. Mattheo Riddle, for as long as Theo can remember, has always been the over protective brother first and foremost. The relationship he holds with you is still his most important one, and Theo knows better than anyone how seriously Mattheo takes that. Their entire tenure at Hogwarts, Mattheo watched over you like a hawk, keeping the dusty boys who dared to crush on you in their place. The fact that McLaggen, of all people, was able to slip through the cracks the second Mattheo and Theo were gone was a pain that haunted Mattheo for years. And though it was for completely different reasons, it haunted Theo too.

“Are you going to punch the first man who talks to her? For old times sake?” Theo asks, trying to bite back a smirk.

Mattheo laughs loudly, shaking his head.

“I’ve grown since our time at Hogwarts,” He defends himself. “I won’t punch them if they just talk to her…” He pauses, a thoughtful look on his face. “Now, if they look at her? Dead man walking.”

Theo shakes his head.

The room grows quiet as the two men continue to work. Theo’s mind wanders as he puts the stock away. When was the last time he saw you? Damn near a decade ago. It was the night of the battle. A few bottles of fire whiskeys had been procured, thanks to Mattheo and his mysterious ways of smuggling contraband into the school. It was the first get-together like this that they’d had in a long time… and, unbeknownst to them, it would be the last.

“There’s not enough fire whiskey in the world to make me go down those stairs with Theo.”

“You worried you’ll fall in love with him, Riddle?”

“I’m worried he’ll actually try to kiss me, is what I’m worried about.”

Theo laughed as he took another swig from the bottle, before saying, “In your dreams, Riddle.”

The group erupted with laughter as they sat in a circle on the upper balcony of the Astronomy Tower. Blaise, Daphne, Astoria, Pansy, and even Malfoy were all taking part. It was pretty late, but with the Death Eaters having their hold on Hogwarts, the Riddle heirs were given free reign, subsequently meaning their friends were given the same treatment. Which is why it was so easy for Mattheo to procure two bottles of fire whiskey, one of which already completely gone.

Theo’s stoic nature had been greatly diminished by the alcohol, his head swirling just enough to make him feel light and calm. Despite the juvenile feeling it gave him, the game of Seven Minutes in Heaven that started once the first bottle had emptied was quite entertaining, and had grown even more so when Mattheo took the last turn, and the bottle landed on none other than Theo.

“You know the rules, Mattheo.” Your voice sounded like honey when you chimed in from across the circle, sitting next to Pansy with your legs sprawled out in front of you. “You either have to go to the lower level with our friend Teddy here-“ Theo looked down at the ground, trying to hide his reaction to your nickname for him. “-Or you have to drink.”

Mattheo didn’t hesitate before snatching the bottle that still had liquor in it right out of Theo’s hand and putting the end to his mouth, dramatically throwing his head backwards. One, two, three giant gulps went down Mattheo’s throat, not a flinch in sight as he set it back down with a pleased look on his face.

“Don’t drink all of it, Matty,” Astoria pouted, reaching over and snatching the bottle from his grasp. Theo looked over at you, meeting your eyes at the exact moment that you looked over at him. Raising your hand, you pointed to your mouth and made a puke face. He bit back a smile before looking away from you.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Nott,” Mattheo said, ignoring Astoria’s comment as he nodded towards the empty bottle in the middle to indicate his friend’s turn at the game. Theo rolled his eyes as he leaned forward.

“I’d snog sandpaper before I’d let your cracked lips anywhere near mine.”

With a flick of his wrist, he sent the bottle spinning. The look on Theo’s face read nonchalance, but that didn’t match up with the pounding in his chest. It felt like he could hear the second hand of the clock tower ticking in the distance, though he knew it was too far away for him to actually hear it. As the bottle began to slow, Theo bit the inside of his cheek, and when it came to a stop, his teeth almost clamped down entirely.

You.

The universe and Merlin himself came together and had the bottle land on you.

Theo could feel his cheeks burning, not moving a muscle as his eyes trailed to Mattheo. The humor had completely drained from his curly haired friend’s face.

“Re-spin, Theo.”

Theo didn’t even have time to process Mattheo’s words, let alone answer, before you were already turning to face him.

“Why ask me to play if I can’t participate?”

This made Theo’s cheeks burn more, though no one could notice, their attention being on the altercation brewing between Mattheo and you.

“Because you’d bitch about it if I didn’t.”

“And you didn’t think I’d bitch about you bitching about me participating?”

Mattheo said nothing to his sister, instead turning his fierce gaze back to Theo.

“I’ll cut your fucking eyes out if you even think about it, Nott.”

As Theo opened his mouth to respond, you pushed yourself off the floor. The look on your face could be read as many different things; Defiance, anger, annoyance. But one thing was clear- you were not allowing Mattheo to have the final say.

“Come on, Theo.”

You put your hand out towards him. The conflict in his chest was rising rapidly as everyone stared at him, waiting for him to make his decision. Only two of those sets of eyes brought him the anxiety that coursed through him. The last thing he wanted to do was piss off Mattheo.

But he knew his choice before he even knew he had to make one. As soon as the bottle came to a stop, the deal was signed.

Reaching up, he took your hand and allowed you to pull him to his feet. Mattheo’s face was filled with a mix of rage and surprise as he watched you lead Theo away from the group.

“You better keep your fucking hands to yourself, Nott.”

“No promises, Matty,” You sneered without looking at Mattheo, as your foot hit the first step down. Theo’s eyes drifted to look over the railing that paralleled the stairs as the two of you began to descend, overlooking the castle and the Black Lake in the distance. His heart was in his throat once his feet reached the wooden floor.

The lower level of the balcony was used as storage. Surrounding the outer edges were fixtures covered in sheets that were held down with rope, presumably statues and pieces of furniture. Other miscellaneous things were also scattered around, such as a two seater bench that was split in two, a random assortment of stools, and abandoned cauldrons. In the middle of the ceiling was a glass globe fixture, the bottom half on the lower level while the top was displayed on the upper level. Along it was a metal lining that didn’t quite reach the walls, meaning there was enough of an opening for people to look down. When Theo looked up, he saw multiple sets of eyes staring down into the lower level, one of which was accompanied by angry shouts at him to Know your place, Nott and Don’t even think about it. Not a word could be said about it before you were flicking your wand in its direction. A flash of light flashed through the room, and suddenly, Theo couldn’t look through the openings anymore. Turning, you did the same to the staircase.

Theo looked at you in awe.

“Since when can you cast spells without speaking?”

You shrugged, as if it were a completely benign thing.

“I’ve been practicing.”

Theo stuffed his hands in his pockets as you sat down on a spare table off to the side. It was impossible for him not to look at you like you had just put the stars in the sky, but hell did he try not to.

“Maybe you should’ve been in Ravenclaw,” He commented, causing you to roll your eyes.

“You think I’d ever hear the end of it from that one?” You pointed to the ceiling, where loud footsteps and even louder voices could be heard from the other side. Theo laughed at this, his head craning backwards.

“I think you’d have killed him before finishing out first year, if that were the case.”

The tension in the air was palpable. Was it from Mattheo’s anger? Or Theo’s feelings? It was hard to say, but he found himself wondering if you felt it too. Before he could think too much about it, you spoke again.

“Sometimes I wish I had gotten put in another house, though. Instead of Slytherin.”

Theo froze. Of anything you could’ve possibly said, he never would’ve suspected… Well, that.

“Why?” He asked, tone soft.

You looked down at your hands, mindlessly pinching at your skin.

“It would make me think I was made for more than what my family has planned for me.” You sighed as your gaze met Theo once more. “I never wanted any of this. The special treatment from the Death Eaters and the constant fear. I don’t want it.”

Eyes narrowing slightly, Theo mulled over your words.

“Why would you, the daughter of Lord Voldemort, have anything to fear?”

You sat up a little straighter, pressing your lips together in a thin line.

“I know you’ve been working for him.”

Theo swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

A beat passed.

“Didn’t I?”

You scooted down the table so now your feet touched the floor, more leaning on it than sitting, folding your hands in front of you. Theo’s eyes never left you as he studied your every move. The heat from your stare was making his palms sweat.

“You promised me you wouldn’t,” You reminded him. He closed his eyes. How could such a quiet part of the castle suddenly feel so loud? He couldn’t do this with you. Not right now. You wouldn’t understand.

“My father wanted me to become… acquainted with the family business,” He explained slowly. This didn’t seem to appease you.

“You could’ve talked to me. I would’ve figured something out,” You said. Was that annoyance in your voice? Or something else? “Maybe my father doesn’t take Mattheo seriously but he would’ve listened to me if I asked him not to send you on errands.”

Theo shook his head, his eyes drifting to the floor just briefly. “It’s too late now.”

The words hung in the air for a moment too long. Theo watched as a thought seemed to pop into your head, the expression on your face changing from mildly frustrated to downright terror. You slowly pushed away from the table. There was something about the way you were looking at him, with your lips slightly parted and your eyes filled with confusion, that made him feel sick.

“Theo… did you take the Mark?”

The Christmas party is too reminiscent of one of the Slytherin common room parties. The music is too loud. The people are too drunk. And Theo is too fucking old for this.

He squeezes down a random hallway of Malfoy Manor, narrowly missing Blaise Zabini and Luna Lovegood as they make out against the wall. Try he does to not give them a passing glance, albeit a confused one, but radically does he fail.

Time really is a funny thing, He thinks to himself. Changes people in ways no one could ever understand.

Theo’s arrival at the party was as anticlimactic as he wanted it to be. In the hour since he walked through the door, he can count on less than ten fingers how many familiar faces he saw, and he only needed one hand to count how many people he’s spoken to.

Though Draco is the only Malfoy living in the mansion now, save his wife, it still looks exactly the same as it did when they were kids. Theo remembers the summers away from Hogwarts spent roaming these halls with Draco, Mattheo and you. The weeks and weeks at a time spent here after his mother died and his father made it clear he didn’t understand how to be a father. If it weren’t for Narcissa Malfoy, Theo can’t imagine the man he would be now. He feels it in his heart every time he walks by a picture of her, her tender eyes and sweet smile looking back at him. The closest thing to a mother he ever had.

You should write to her more, He thinks to himself.

Theo enters the kitchen, with his hand almost on the knob of the back door, when a voice stops him.

“Theodore Nott! Hi!”

He turns to find Astoria Greengr- Malfoy looking at him with a wide smile. It hasn’t been too long since he had last seen her, although it’s enough time for her to have a swollen pregnant belly this go around. Her wedding to Malfoy was small and rushed, as it wasn’t long after him, Theo and Mattheo had returned from their time away, but her smile is the same now as it was that day.

She waddles up to Theo, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he plants a quick kiss on her cheek.

“You alright, Tori?” His voice is gentle in a way that it never was with Astoria. It has to be the pregnancy causing him to be nicer. The fact remains that he and Astoria historically never got along, and while he would never outwardly be mean to her, especially now as the wife of one of his best mates, he didn’t go out of his way to be nice to her, either. Which is why at the wedding, he didn’t intentionally avoid her that entire evening. He just simply didn’t go out of his way to speak to her. The wad of cash he left in an envelope on the gift table that evening spoke for itself, in his humble opinion.

Astoria shrugs casually, before saying, “Just running around, as usual. What have you been up to since-“ She cuts off, swallowing as the smile on her face falters ever so slightly. It’s obvious to anyone what she was about to say and even more so that it was meant to remain a thought in her head and never pass her lips. But it’s too late for that now, as the ghost of the words unsaid still hang in the air above them. Theo sighs as he turns to the kitchen island, which is buried in alcohol bottles, and begins to pour himself a drink. A strong one.

“You can say it, Tori.”

She still hesitates before it comes out in a barely audible whisper.

“Since Azkaban?”

There it is.

Theo doesn’t even blink. The word is so casual to him now, so recurrent in his daily thoughts that it’s almost chronic. Though, his teeth still grow cold as the memories of the brutally cold air flood through him.

“Oh, you know,” He manages to answer. “Mattheo and I started the bar in Hogsmeade. I’m sure you heard all about that. Have a cottage now, not too far from there.” He hums in thought. “Got a cat. She’s a bloody shit, but I love her.”

All of this seems to surprise Astoria, and Theo didn’t blame her. He wasn’t the same boy she knew back at Hogwarts. He never would be again. All of the fire and fight that he had back then was snuffed out in the years he was locked away. Now, some days it feels like he is a shell of his former self.

“What’s her name? Your cat?”

Theo smiles brightly, as if he was being asked about his own child.

“Crisp.”

Astoria stifles a laugh.

“Crisp?”

“She’s a black cat, so she looks like she’s... burnt to a crisp.”

Astoria pauses for a second before breaking into a smile and laughing out loud, the sound filling the kitchen. It gives Theo deja vu, reminding him of the days in the common room where he’d hear it and cringe. The thought makes him feel a little bad. Only a little though.

“That’s funny,” She remarks, still coming down from the high of it as she carefully wipes her eyes. Theo smiles politely, glancing at the back door before turning back to Astoria. What the hell does he say now? He already knows what’s going on with her. It’s popping out of her dress.

“Erm… Is Mattheo here yet?”

Astoria perks up at the sound of his best friend’s name, her eye developing a twinkle that wasn’t there before. Something about it makes Theo a little sad. Though her love for Draco was true, Astoria always held a torch for Mattheo. Everyone knew it. Even Draco, who still ended up marrying her in the end. Mattheo just never felt the same pull to Astoria that she felt for him. And though he never talked about it with Theo, he couldn’t help but wonder if that thought ever made Mattheo feel guilty.

Just as quick as it came, the spark in Astoria’s eye disappears and is replaced with… something Theo can’t quite place.

“They’ll be here any minute,” Astoria finally answers with a slight smirk. Theo feels his heart swell. The use of they instead of he was not lost on him.

Nodding, Theo turns his body toward the back door, his gaze still on Astoria.

“Good talking to you, Tori.”

She gives him a look, another one that he just can’t read, which is starting to frustrate him, before smiling softly at him.

“I’ll send erm… Mattheo your way when he gets here.”

He nods once more, giving her a final half cooked smile before letting himself out into the back courtyard.

The circular courtyard is centered with a large fountain, the centerpiece being a dragon. Shrubbery and flowers of different shapes and sizes line the edges. Theo walks the pebbled pathways with the same familiarity that he would walk the Hogwarts grounds. He knows every turn, every bench, every scuff mark on the brick walls like the back of his hands. As he sips on his drink, he finds himself reminiscing on the reverie of being a young kid, running down these same paths with his closest friends. So many memories made on this very plot of land. Mattheo falling and cracking his head on the side of the fountain and Draco trying to use a spell to fix it, only to make it worse. Theo picking the roses off one of the many rose bushes to give to you, then the scolding he received after. All of the cigarette butts that he and Mattheo were forced to clean up when Narcissa would discover them. Probably thousands of cigarette butts between the two of them. But they never learned to find a container for them. It seems like it was a whole lifetime ago. Maybe it was.

Theo passes beyond the shrubbery to walk the trails that line the estate. It never gets old, walking through the pine trees. Muscle memory carries his legs towards his favorite spot on the whole lot. He tries to remember the last time he’d walked this route, but he can’t. Which means it’s been too long.

The bench comes into view, the huge oak tree still standing guard behind it. If the sun was out, it would provide the perfect shade, regardless of the time of day. Surrounding it are multiple rose bushes, a Narcissa Malfoy addition. Theo used to spend many hours at this bench, reading or losing himself in thought. It has always been a sanctuary to him, even now, after all these years.

Sitting down, he inhales slowly before letting it out in a long drawl. Being here again feels like coming home for the first time since his release from Azkaban. There’s only one thing that could make it perfect…

Damn, I wish I had a cigarette, He finds himself thinking.

Okay, maybe two things could make it perfect.

“Thought I’d find you out here.”

The hairs on the back of his neck stand up straight.

He would’ve never expected the sight of you to be accompanied by the smell of cigarettes, yet here you are, slowly walking down the path with a freshly lit smoke in your hand. A slight smile fills your cheeks as you look at him.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The word runs through his brain like a news headline on the television. It never occurred to him that you could get more stunning. The familiar feeling of his palms growing sweaty hits him, and he instinctively wipes them on his jeans.

“Since when do you smoke?”

You take a long drag, holding your breath before blowing a cloud into the air above you. In the back of Theo’s brain is the sound of you relentlessly nagging him to quit, a treatment you curiously only saved for him and did not share with your brother.

“D’you want to hear something silly?” You ask him. He shrugs, a smile tugging at his lips. You tilt your head to the side, your eyes jumping up to the night sky. “I found myself missing it. The smell. Can you believe that?”

A laugh bursts from Theo’s chest.

“No,” He admits. “With the way you went on about it? If you weren’t smoking in front of me right now, I would never believe you.”

Shaking your head, smiling, you slowly make your way towards him.

“Mattheo was so angry when he found out,” You say. “And he, apparently, is smoke free now. I’m not even allowed to smoke near him. After all the years he was perfectly fine with giving me secondhand lung cancer!” You roll your eyes. “I only smoke every once in a while, though. Nothing like the two of you did, fucking chimneys.”

Theo stands as you approach the bench, his hands in his pocket. You waste no time before you wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a hug. As he snakes his arms around your torso, his eyes flutter shut. You smell exactly the same, save for the new addition of the cigarette smoke. And you still make his stomach turn with every touch. He kisses the side of your head before pulling away, unable to contain the smile that forces its way across his cheeks.

“You weren’t at the wedding.”

Pursing your lips, you look away from him.

“I, unfortunately, was otherwise engaged.”

There’s something cryptic behind your words, and it doesn’t sit well with him.

“What does that mean?” He asks. From his recollection, even Mattheo didn’t know why you had bailed on such an important event. Being one of his longest friends, Draco was distraught by your absence.

“It means that I don’t want to tell you why I couldn’t go,” You inform him. His eyes narrow slightly.

“And why’s that?”

“Because you’ll be angry. And I’m not interested in starting our reunion out that way.”

A cool breeze blows through the air, but Theo isn’t convinced that it’s the cause of the chill that flows through him.

“How do you know I’ll be angry?” He questions, although hesitantly. You give him a look.

“Because I know you. You’ve been my brother’s best friend for as long as I can remember. I could be blindfolded and still pick you out just by the sound of your breathing. And I know what will make you mad.” You take another drag of the cigarette, the smoke filling the air with your sigh. “This will.”

The debate in Theo’s head is intense. On one hand, with how cryptic you’re being, he wants to know what the reason was. Just the way you said it has a fire flaring in his chest. But on the other hand, you're right. He’d rather not plague the reunion that he’s been thinking about for the last decade with anger. Not when he doesn’t have to. Not while you’re looking at him like that, with a warm smile and even warmer gaze. Before he has the chance to decide how to go forward, you make the choice for him.

“Let me take a look at you,” You say, taking a step back and looking him up and down. Internally, Theo prays that his cheeks don’t reflect on the outside the heat they feel on the inside, as your eyes trail from the top of his head to his feet.

“You still look like my Theo. Except for this.” Stepping forward, you bring a hand to his left cheek, your fingers resting on his jaw as your thumb grazes the beard growing on his face. Theo holds his breath, because he knows if he exhales, you’ll hear the shudder. When you let your hand drop, left behind is the feeling of ice where your warm fingertips had been. You shake your head. “Certainly don’t look like an ex-convict.”

Theo’s next words leave his mouth before he has time to think them through.

“You certainly don’t look like a newly divorced woman.”

As soon as the words enter the atmosphere, Theo’s face falls, and he wants to insert his foot in his mouth. It wasn’t meant to be the insult it sounded like when he said it. But to his astonishment, you just smile, looking up at the sky as you shake your head.

“It was never going to last with Cormac,” You tell him. “Our divorce was written in the stars. I knew that. I don’t know if he knew that, but I did.”

Theo’s gaze drifts to the ground before looking back up at you. The question he wants to ask is running on repeat in his mind, as he goes back and forth on whether or not to even say it.

Fuck it.

“Why did you marry him?”

You flinch slightly, to Theo’s dismay. The last thing he ever wants is to hurt you. At the same time, he went all these years wondering how someone like you could be with someone like Cormac Fucking McLaggen, the same Cormac Fucking McLaggen that you and him spent hours and hours collectively making fun of back in school, and he couldn’t go without finding out any longer.

“He was there and-“ You stop abruptly, closing your eyes briefly before opening them again. He can practically see you rearranging your thoughts. “And no one else was.”

Theo raises an eyebrow.

“You didn’t think you deserved or could find anyone better?”

You laugh suddenly, confusing Theo, before you respond.

“I knew I could find someone better,” You say. “He was just intended to be… a placeholder. Just to pass the time.” You sigh. “He ended up being a shitty placeholder, and more work than was necessary. That was my fault. I got complacent.”

The more you explain yourself, the more Theo grows confused. He wants to yell at you, to tell you to just say what you mean. But he doesn’t.

“A placeholder?” He asks quietly. “What the bloody hell does that mean?”

For a moment, you don’t say anything, taking another drag from your cigarette and blowing the smoke into the air. Theo watches you, so tempted to ask you for one, but he’s so wrapped up in the conversation that he can barely breathe, let alone speak.

“It means he was there, I was lonely and I was waiting for something better.”

Theo’s eyes are fixed on every move you make, his whole body turning to watch you sit down on the bench. As he tries to sort through his racing thoughts to find a coherent one, you take another drag of the cigarette, looking around at the roses. He takes a seat to the right of you.

“What were you waiting for?”

You don’t answer as you turn to look at him. Just the look on your face drives Theo crazy. Not once would he ever say that you remind him of your father, but your ability to move through a conversation with ease and manipulation is uncanny. He’s convinced that the word discomfort isn’t in your vocabulary. If a topic comes up that you don’t want to talk about, you simply twist the conversation back to exactly where you want it to be. And Theo, a person who knows you better than most, can tell just by the way you’re looking at him right now that you’re about to do what you do best. And he’s going to let you.

It’s the way you do it this time around, however, that comes as a surprise.

Your gaze drops to his left arm at his side, his hand resting on his knee. With a delicate touch, you reach over and take it between your fingers, slowly rising the sleeve up his arm as Theo, once again, forgets how to breathe entirely.

“I won’t ask you again, Theodore. Did you take the Dark Mark?”

The sound of his full name coming out of your mouth made his heart stop. Theo swallowed hard, whispering your name under his breath so quietly that a gust of wind could’ve drowned it out.

You charged towards him, grabbing his arm and yanking up the sleeve of his hoodie before he could even process that you had moved. There, in its glory, was the fresh mark, branded so recently that the skin surrounding it was still tender.

A strangled whimper escaped your mouth before you forcibly threw Theo’s arm away from you, as if it had burned you. Covering your mouth, you turned away from him, taking a couple of steps towards the table you had been sitting on only moments before. Nausea overwhelmed Theo as he stared at you. He followed your footsteps and reached out for your arm, only to have it yanked back the moment his fingers curled around your bicep. The gesture sent a ripple of pain through Theo’s chest.

“Please let me explain-“

“How could you do this!?” You shouted, whipping around to face him. The sight of the tears streaming down your face shredded his heart more than your words ever could. “We talked about this, Theo. I told you not to take the mark. Not to waste your life. How could you do this to yourself? Hell, how could you do this to me?”

I can’t do this, Theo thought to himself. I can’t.

The way your eyes were a careful mix of anger and devastation was too much for Theo. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do to make you stop looking at him like that, and it was very rare for him to want you to stop looking at him at all. But he knew that the one thing that could make you relax once again was the one thing he couldn’t give you. He took another step towards you, saying your name again. When you took a step backwards, he felt like the floor was going to open up and swallow him whole.

“This is more than getting acquainted with the family business!” Your chest heaved as you spoke. “This is getting integrated.”

“I have just as much ability to say no to my father as you and Mattheo have to say no to yours!” He shouted desperately. “There was nothing I could do. You, of all people, have to understand.”

You vigorously shook your head. “No, Theo. I don’t. I would’ve done anything to stop this from happening.” The pain that dripped from your words was splattered on your face. Theo wanted to throw up just looking at your expression, each word feeling like another punch to the face.

“What would you have wanted me to do?” He asked, his voice now level but strained while taking another step forward. “Tell me. Tell me what you would have had me do.”

Your eyes were wide and filled with fear. Another cold breeze came through the cracks in the balcony walls. Instead of taking a step back when Theo stepped forward, you stood still, staring up at him as your chest continued to heavily rise and fall.

“Anything.” Your voice was a coarse whisper. “Literally anything else.”

“I didn’t have a choice!” He didn’t mean to shout at you again, but his head felt so foggy from the whole thing, he couldn’t think straight. The sadness in your eyes was destroying him in ways he would never understand.

“There’s always a fucking choice!” You shouted back.

“I-“

Theo was quickly cut off but your rapid speaking.

“We could’ve run. We could’ve fled together. Just you and me. Anywhere. Maybe to Italy so you could be close to the memory of your mother. Or to somewhere totally new, like Brazil. Or Japan. We could’ve escaped this together if you had given me the chance to help you. To save you.”

It would’ve hurt less if you had actually cut his chest open and ripped his heart out with your bare hands instead of doing it figuratively like you just had. He let out a shaky breath, his entire body going stiff.

“You don’t mean that,” He said quietly. “Just leave Mattheo? And your fam-“

“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t mean, Theodore.”

He flinched at the subsequent use of his full first name.

Theo stood frozen as he watched you press your hand over your eyes, inhaling deeply before letting it out just as hard. Your warm breath turned into a cloud of steam dissipating in front of you from the cold air. He took another step towards you, the distance dwindling.

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” He said softly. The pleading in his tone could be heard for miles.

You stood silent for a long time, your hand covering your eyes. With every passing moment where you didn’t speak, Theo grew more anxious. The silence between the two of you was just as loud as if you were screaming at the top of your lungs. But if Theo was being honest with himself, he’d rather you scream and shout at him. That's what he was used to. But the stunned silence? This was something that, in all the years of knowing and learning everything he could about you, he had never seen. It was too much for him to bear.

When he whispered your name again, you shook your head. The motion caused a pain in his chest so severe that he worried his heart would stop entirely. In a daring moment, he took a step forward, delicately pulling your hand from your face and tilting your head upwards to look at him.

“Please.” Theo did nothing to hide the pain and desperation in his tone. His hands moved to cradle your cheeks. “Please tell me what to do. And I’ll do it.”

Your eyes were wide as you stared into his. The world seemed to screech to a halt at this moment. The wind that had been haunting the balcony for the entire night stilled. The crickets went dead quiet. Theo’s thumbs stroked the skin of either side of your face.

Against his better judgment, despite the severity of the situation he and you find yourselves in, the proximity to you caused his eyes to instinctively jump down to your mouth.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw you do the same.

As you opened your mouth to speak, an overwhelming pain radiated through Theo’s left arm. His hands dropped from your face as he stepped backwards, blowing out a hiss through his teeth as he gripped his forearm tightly. Your mouth pressed into a firm line, as you understood before he did what was about to happen. The noises from upstairs picked up again at the same moment, and in the distance, Theo could hear his name being shouted.

You quickly turned with your wand, removing the barrier you had created around the stairs. The shouting instantly grew louder, and suddenly, Mattheo appeared at the top of the steps. The anger he previously had was gone, replaced with another look that sent chills down Theo’s spine.

Fear.

He didn’t regard you at all. His eyes were focused on Theo.

“We have to go.”

Theo swallowed hard as Mattheo stared down at him.

“He’s here.”

The deja vu hits Theo hard as you roll his sleeve up.

Though your expression doesn’t change, he can feel the way your fingers relax against his skin when you find that the Mark is nowhere to be seen. Seeing his bare arm brings him great relief as well, even though he’s seen it this way every day since its removal.

“They removed it when we got to Azkaban,” He explains quietly. “They thought we could communicate through it or something.”

Your thumb trails up and down his skin in the same area the Mark had been. Theo’s eyes are glued to the motion, following your movements.

“That night haunted me for years.”

Your words send a chill up his spine so intense that he can’t hide the shiver that ripples through him. Swallowing hard, his eyes jump back to your face, studying your features.

“Me too.”

The sound of the crickets chirping fills the night air, along with the very distant music coming from the manor. Your eyes find Theo’s again, although your hand doesn’t let go of his arm.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” You say, voice quiet, yet not quite a whisper. “If I had known what was about to happen, and that it could’ve been our last interaction, I wouldn’t have acted the way I did.”

“If anyone should be sorry, it should be me.”

You give him a look.

“Please. Don’t. I didn’t understand then, but I understand now.”

Theo glances down at your hand on his arm, pulling away so he can in turn take your fingers in his. The two of you look down as Theo turns your fingers around in his hands, as if he’s examining them.

“If you knew then what was about to happen…” You asked slowly. “What would you have done differently?”

Theo’s face grows warm.

“Honestly?”

Though his gaze stays cast downwards, he can still feel the warmth of yours as it jumps to his face once more.

“Always.”

For a moment, no one moves or speaks. Then, Theo entwines his fingers through the spaces between yours, curling them down so the tips press softly against the dorsal aspect of your hand.

“I would’ve kissed you.”

If your breath didn’t hitch in your throat, Theo would think you didn’t react at all. He glances back up at you, his eyes meeting yours, his thumb running up and down the smooth skin of your hand. What a perfect night for a party, the night of the full moon. The moonlight dimly hits your face but it’s still enough to make his heart flutter.

“I would’ve let you.”

It takes everything in Theo to not kiss you right there. The moment he has been waiting all these years for is finally here, dropped in his lap. But he can only kiss you for the first time once, and it has to be perfect.

Theo glances down at your mouth. It’s just a moment away, and he’s counting down the seconds.

“I would’ve told you that I was in love with you too.”

The shock breaks through your face this time, as Theo squeezes your hand a little tighter.

“I would’ve said the same.”

Nights of dreaming of this moment in his Azkaban cell seem to fill his memory as your words hit Theo like a monsoon. He raises his free hand and brushes the free strands of hair away from your face.

“What about now?” He asks in a soothing whisper. “Would you say the same now?” What shocks him is when you laugh, but he tries not to let it falter his resolve.

“Theo,” You say, the laughter gone but the genuine look of amusement still present. “Why do you think I needed a placeholder?”

A beat passes.

Theo’s lips crash into yours.

And despite having been out of Azkaban for a while now, despite his reunion with his sanctuary at Malfoy Manor, he’s finally, completely, come home.

Every repressed feeling Theo has ever felt in the last decade is surged through the kiss and into you. All of his desperation, his yearning, the fiery love that never got snuffed out. It felt like his heart just knew that he’d see you again, and the love he felt was carefully packed away in a box, left to grow until the reunion had arrived.

The cigarette you had been holding is now forgotten on the pathway. Your hands weave through Theo’s hair as he has one hand on your cheek, the other firmly placed on your hip. The world around you and him is still. Did the crickets go home? Is the party over? All sounds have gone mute, minus the sounds of your quiet hums as Theo’s tongue searches your mouth. You scoot closer to him, your knee going between his in an effort to get as close to him as possible.

“Fucking despicable this is.”

Theo and you jump away from each other, shocked to see Mattheo approaching with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

“Out of everyone in this party, you pick him?” He goes on. “In my opinion, you could do better.”

You scoff.

“Name one person that you’ve ever met who you thought was good enough for me and I’ll chew my wrist off.”

Almost a whole minute passes before Mattheo speaks again.

“Touché.”

Theo bites back a smile. You point at Mattheo before saying, “Wait a minute. You said you don’t smoke anymore!”

Mattheo shrugs as he blows a plume of smoke into the air.

“This party killed that.”

“You arsehole. You gave me such a hard time for doing it.”

“Your excuse was a bloody weak one. ‘I miss the smell’. Shut the fuck up.”

“Forgive me for missing my brother and wanting to feel close to him!”

Mattheo’s gaze slides to Theo, then down to his fingers entwined with yours.

“Yeah. I’m sure you were thinking of me when you

took your first drag.”

You roll your eyes, turning back to Theo as you try and fail to hide the smile on your cheeks. Just the sight of you alone was sending Theo’s heart into overdrive.

Mattheo plops down in the space next to you, letting out a deep sigh.

“Just try to give it some time before you rush off and get married, yeah?” Mattheo says before taking another hit. “Don't come off desperate like our lovely hosts in there.”

“Oh, you’re actually going to keep your mouth shut about me being with a guy this time?” You challenge him. Even Theo looks at his best friend curiously, semi shocked by his response.

“Yeah, I don’t have the energy to give a rat’s fart.”

Your hand still in Theo’s, he feels you give his a squeeze.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

His heart flutters.

He knows what you’re saying without a single word passing your lips.

He repeats the gesture back to you.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Mattheo and you continue to go back and forth as Theo sits by quietly, his thumb stroking the top of your hand. Eyes fluttering closed, he takes a deep breath, soaking in the cool evening air.

This is it.

Home at last.

#theodore nott #theo nott #theodore nott x you #theo nott x you #theodore nott x reader #theo nott x reader #theodore nott fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #slytherin boys fanfiction

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itadorey · 11 months

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𝐒𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆

pairing: gojo satoru x reader summary: becoming a jujutsu sorcerer was never part of your plans, and neither was falling in love with gojo satoru. genre: angst, not-quite-lovers to exes notes/warnings: spoilers for hidden inventory, introspection, mentions of blood, canon-typical violence, arguments, there's some moral dilemmas but like no more than usual, reader throws up bc of news they receive (non graphic, literally just says "emptied your stomach".) wc: ~4.6k song inspo ♫: so young by portugal. the man

You never planned on becoming a jujutsu sorcerer.

Being a jujutsu sorcerer was something your parents had trained you for, but you always seemed to be more enamored by the thought of living a safe, normal life. In fact, the thought of attending the Tokyo Jujutsu High had never crossed your mind until the day your family sat you down and begged you to consider spending the next four years of your life there. You had reluctantly met with the school's administration, and your family was enthusiastic to find out you had been accepted immediately.

You weren’t as excited.

Truthfully, you shouldn't have been surprised that you were accepted. You had a powerful cursed technique that guaranteed your spot as a Grade 1 sorcerer as soon as you enrolled into Jujutsu Tech, but the thought of going through with the training made your stomach twist uncomfortably.

As soon as you arrived at Jujutsu Tech, you had immediately asked your teacher, Yaga Masamichi, to meet and discuss your standing. It was in the teacher’s lounge that you came clean to him about not wanting to be a part of the class before politely asking them if there was a behind-the-scenes role you could fill, getting nothing but a surprised look in return. He had stayed silent for a few seconds before pouring you a cup of tea and motioning for you to take a seat on one of the couches.

Yaga wasted no time before he began to explain to you why you had been placed accepted in the first place. In addition to your cursed technique, you hailed from a small, yet respectable family of sorcerers. You would be a great asset to your classmates and the jujutsu world as a whole, especially because you seemed to think rationally even in the heat of danger. You couldn't deny that Yaga's words had given you a sense of purpose.

But no matter what they said, you still couldn’t help but long for a sense of normalcy.

Yaga was able to sense your unchanging feelings and after a few minutes of contemplation, he made a deal with you. If you agreed to stay and hone your skills for at least a year and still decided you wanted to leave after that, he would let you do so with no complaints. After a few minutes of contemplation on your end, you agreed.

Falling in love with the boy you sat next to had never been part of the plan, but then again, you supposed that your plan had been thrown out the moment you submitted your application to Jujutsu Tech.

Gojo Satoru was an annoyance to many of his classmates, but not to you. No one knew how, but over the course of a few months, the two of you had managed to break down each other’s walls and become closer than anyone expected. In your presence, Gojo seemed to appear more good-natured, his teasing remarks toned down as he slung an arm around your shoulders. In return, he managed to bring you out of your shell, helping you form solid friendships with Geto and Shoko.

Perhaps it was because the two of you truly understood each other; just two students who were thrust into the jujutsu world, forced to become sorcerers due to the power that flowed through your veins. Or maybe it was because your seemingly apathetic nature helped you get along well with the loud boy. Whatever it was, it made Yaga happy. As long as you remained close with Gojo, he knew that the chances of you dropping out or simply disappearing were slim.

Of course, there were still times when you regretted accepting Yaga’s proposal. Too many bad things had happened over the course of a few months for you to truly appreciate the fact that you were training in order to be able to help people. The incident that had caused your apprehension to grow the most had been one where you had been sent on a solo mission, assigned to take care of a grade 1 curse that had been residing in an abandoned apartment building.

The curse had been mislabeled, and you had found yourself fighting for your life against a special grade. In a moment of panic and desperation, your cursed energy had flared up more than usual, causing devastation to both the curse and the neighborhood surrounding you. It was only then that Gojo and Geto had burst in, having been sent by Yaga as back-up just in case. The curse had been disposed of by then, and Geto had barely managed to approach you just in time to catch your unconscious body.

The image of you, limp in Geto's arms, had remained seared in everyone's minds for months.

It was after that incident that the higher-ups had started to take closer note of you, and you found yourself retreating from your friends in an attempt to make yourself seem unimportant. You spent more time with the underclassmen, hiding away with Nanami and Haibara and listening to their stories about their classes and missions. You found Haibara's energy endearing, and it was always entertaining to watch him interact with the more stoic Nanami. It was only when Gojo started showing up outside your bedroom door that you finally returned to classes, his never-ending stream of questions about your cursed technique and abilities annoying you until you could no longer stand to be in the same room as him.

It was hard to ignore the way your eyes lit up at the sight of Gojo, regardless of how annoyed your expression seemed. It was also hard to ignore the way that Gojo would sneak glances at you over his glasses, breathless laughter leaving his lips whenever you pushed him out of your way. Geto and Shoko would always exchange knowing glances when you'd hang out all together, the two of them often going ignored as Gojo poked and prodded at your cheeks in an attempt to get your attention.

Yaga had also taken it upon himself to start assigning you missions once again. What had originally been a team of made up of you and Geto eventually grew to include Gojo, simply because he followed Yaga around and complained about how bored he was without you around. Geto had given you a look you had chosen to ignore when the two of you overheard Gojo say that.

The three of you turned out to be a dream team, especially once you had spent more time training with your cursed technique instead of ignoring it. The cursed energy you had displayed against the special grade curse was something that had always been at your disposal to use, you had just never concerned yourself with learning about it.

Everything seemed to be working out for you once in your life, especially with Gojo by your side to help motivate your growth.

But it all changed when the three of you met Amanai Riko.

At first, the mission had been a piece of cake.

Amanai Riko wasn't difficult to locate, and the people that were after her hadn't been hard to deal with either. It had been an easy mission, especially considering that the three of you were some of the best that the jujutsu world had to offer.

You had grown to quite like Riko, and your time with her in Okinawa had only helped you come to terms with your role as a sorcerer to a greater extent. For once, you felt like you belonged. You had a clearer purpose, and you were determined to succeed in every aspect of your life if it meant getting to keep living such a rewarding life.

And then Fushiguro Toji struck.

All you remember is seeing Riko get killed right in front of your eyes, your distress and panic immediately being pushed down in favor of facing the new threat. You barely processed the conversation between Geto and Toji, only catching bits and pieces but feeling your heart drop and stomach twist when he declared that Gojo Satoru was dead.

After that, everything was a blur. You remember fighting alongside Geto, the two of you in sync as you tried your best to survive. You could remember choking on your fear, the situation much more severe than facing that special grade curse a couple of months ago. You remember closing your eyes for a brief moment, your lips moving as you said a silent goodbye to Shoko, Haibara, Nanami, and Yaga. You remember watching Geto get struck down, leaving you alone to face Fushiguro Toji.

There was a determined glint in his eyes when he stared at you, and you did your best to push down the bile crawling its way up your throat as you studied him. It was a tense fight, and you had managed to land a solid hit on Toji, catching him by surprise. You used that moment to your advantage, but no matter how hard you tried, you were overwhelmed by his physical strength as he flung you out across the courtyard.

It was then, with him towering over you and ready to deal the final blow as you looked up at him in defiance, that Gojo Satoru reappeared.

There was something different about him as he looked at you, his eyes a little more focused than usual as he turned to face Toji. You had only caught bits and pieces of what he was saying, and you had scrambled to Geto's side in an attempt to reassure yourself that everything would be okay. By the time you had regained your composure and looked behind you, Fushiguro Toji was no more and Gojo was ambling towards you.

That was when you truly realized just how much power Gojo Satoru truly held.

His eyes had been wide and bright, hands trembling with leftover adrenaline from his fight as he knelt down beside you to cup your face in his hands. You could feel the warm blood on his fingers streaking your face as he scanned you from head to toe, his face breaking out into a grin when he realized you were relatively unharmed.

"You and I," he had said, leaning forwards to press his forehead against yours. His stare was intense, and you found yourself shutting your eyes in an attempt to avoid it. "We're gonna live forever. I swear it."

His words rang in your head even as he pulled away, a weak groan from Geto drawing Gojo's attention away from you. You were on autopilot from that moment on, repeating the incident in your head up until you were back at Jujutsu Tech being treated by Shoko.

You fell into a slump after that, wanting nothing more than to leave Jujutsu Tech behind until you bumped into Geto one evening. All it took was one glance at him to realize that he understood you better than anyone, and the two of you spent many a late night sitting in the dark with a cup of tea in hand. There was never much talking done during these times, and occasionally you would find yourself sitting close to him, hands intertwined as the two of you sought out some comfort.

Gojo continued to grow at an incredible rate, and no matter how much you wanted to be by his side and support him, you couldn't forget about the day that Riko died.

So while Gojo flourished, you and Geto withered. You rarely showed up to class, sitting alone in the corner when you did. Gojo joined you whenever he wasn't off on a mission, which meant you spent a lot more time without him than you'd like. You also grew paranoid, refusing to go on missions and spending all your free time either training in hand-to-hand combat or laying in bed. The rest of your time was spent with Geto, and you found yourself admitting to him that you had never wanted to become a sorcerer in the first place but had been asked to stay by Yaga.

You had hit him when he had absentmindedly commented that you had also stayed for Gojo.

Whenever Gojo wasn't on a mission, it was almost certain the two of you would be together, your heart aching as he tried his best to be there for you despite your dull demeanor. You would often find sweets hidden in your sweaters and bag, and you would occasionally get to your room to find a basket of your favorite snacks waiting outside your door. He understood that you needed space, but seeing you so lifeless, with dark circles carved underneath your eyes, just made his concern grow even more. The thing that eventually pushed him to finally confront you was Shoko's incessant nagging.

And Geto's betrayal.

The news came as a mild shock to you.

Geto, the person who had quickly become your closest friend and the only person in the world who truly understood you, had become a curse-user.

It was silent for a minute after Yaga told you the news, and within an instant, you found yourself sprinting to the nearest bathroom before emptying the contents of your stomach. You shut your eyes tightly as you leaned your head against the wall, trying to ignore everything that was happening.

First, Haibara had been killed due to a mission going wrong, leaving Nanami as the only first year at Jujutsu Tech. Now, Geto had gone rogue and left without telling anyone. You felt another wave of nausea wash over you and leaned back over the toilet, flinching when you felt a warm hand rubbing your back. You turned your head to see Gojo kneeling next to you.

Sobs overtook you and you let him cradle you against his chest, feeling his fingers weaving through your hair as he held you close. You remember being silent as you eventually unwound yourself from him, walking over to the sink and brushing your teeth before letting him guide you towards his room. He followed you like a shadow, silent but close as he tried to hide his concerned expression. He took a seat on his bed, leaning back on his palms before glancing at you and patting the spot next to him.

You sat down next to him, closing your eyes as he reached for your trembling hand. It was awful how something so gentle could remind you of Geto, and you found yourself pulling your hand to your chest as you tried to control your breathing.

"I never thought this would happen," Gojo muttered quietly, watching you closely as he let his hand rest next to your thigh. You shook your head as you opened your eyes, giving him a distressed look before kicking off your shoes and bringing your legs up.

"I did," you replied hoarsely, sniffling as Gojo gave you a bewildered look.

"What?"

"We had this conversation after everything that happened with... Fushiguro and Riko," you admitted. The names were whispered, and Gojo found himself realizing just how big of an effect the incident had truly had on you and Geto. "He spoke with Yuki as well."

"Tsukumo? The other special grade?" Gojo asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. You nodded in response.

"There was this hypothetical scenario," you began, pausing to collect your thoughts. Gojo couldn't help but notice the way you tensed, and his fingers twitched with the urge to pull you close. "We spoke about how non-sorcerers release cursed energy at a higher rate than everyone else, and how that contributes to the essentially all the problems we have to face as sorcerers. I didn't know where I was going with that theory. Education, maybe, spreading knowledge about cursed energy in an attempt to contain it. But after Geto's conversation with Yuki, he mentioned getting rid of non-sorcerers as the best option in the long run."

You avoided Gojo's gaze, blinking rapidly as you tried to keep your train of thought. You felt Gojo's fingers brush tentatively against yours once more, and you resisted the urge to take his hand in yours.

"The notion was so ridiculous that we never entertained it," you whispered, freezing slightly before continuing. "Or at least, I didn't."

There was a heavy pause as you finally looked up, meeting Gojo's stare with one of your own. He blinked slowly, trying to read all the emotions in your eyes as they flitted past one by one.

"I knew, Gojo," you whispered, your eyes haunted as you reached over to tug at his sleeve. Your actions were frantic, rushed in an attempt to make him try to fully understand you. He gave you a questioning look, and you pressed yourself a bit closer to him as you grabbed a hold of his shoulders. "I knew that Geto wasn't doing well. Hell, neither of us were, but he was coping even worse than I was and I didn't do shit but sit with him and hold his hand and occasionally listen to him vent. I could've done more. I could've stopped him."

"This isn't your fault," Gojo said firmly, reaching up to grab your arms. He pulled them upwards, settling them behind his neck before letting his hands trail down to your waist to pull you closer. You end up half in his lap, face tucked into the crook of his neck as he pressed you into him. He could feel your breath against his neck, and he held you more tightly as he reminded himself that you were still here with him.

"Yes it is," you mumbled, drawing your arms back to your sides. You made no effort to move away from him. "If I wasn't so caught up in my own fucking wallowing, I would've been able to catch it."

Gojo sighed softly before tucking his fingers under your chin, angling your head up to make you look at him. You felt your heart jump up into your throat, and you swallowed harshly as you reminded yourself that this wasn't the time nor the place for you to be getting all moony-eyed over your friend.

"Your feelings are valid too," he said softly, leaning forward to place his forehead against yours. His eyes remain bright and you find yourself reminded of that horrible day and the words he had spoken to you back then: "You and I, we're gonna live forever." You closed your eyes before ducking down to tuck your head against his collarbone, the thumping of his heart calming you down.

"The two of you were dealing with things I can't even begin to imagine," Gojo continues, unaware of the way you tensed up in his arms. His words just helped to remind you of just how much fundamentally better Gojo was at being a jujutsu sorcerer. "I wish you would've come to me."

There was a moment of silence during which you tried to control your racing thoughts. You thought back to Fushiguro Toji, to Haibara, to Riko, to the special grade curse you had fought way back when, and even to the deal you had made about a year ago with Yaga. Life hadn’t been fair, especially not to someone as young as you were. Gojo looked down at you when you finally went limp, and he found himself studying you worriedly before opening his mouth to speak.

"I'm leaving."

Your whisper sounded a lot louder than it was in the silence of your small room. Gojo's hands tightened around you as he processed your words, and you refused to look at him no matter how hard he tried to catch your eye. "What?"

"Look, I never even wanted to be a sorcerer in the first place," you admitted, taking note of Gojo's confused expression out of the corner of your eye. He didn't respond, and you took the opportunity to elaborate further. "I only enrolled because my parents were afraid of letting my cursed technique go to waste, and I only stayed because I struck a deal with Yaga."

"What was the deal?" Gojo asked uncertainly, his heart feeling a lot heavier than it had mere minutes ago.

"That'd I'd train for a year. And that if I still wanted to leave after, I'd be allowed to. No questions asked."

"No," Gojo stated, squaring his jaw as he took a deep breath. "No, no, you can't leave. You have to stay."

There was desperation hidden in his words, his fingers tensing against your skin as he looked at you imploringly.

"No, I don't," you said, your tone equally as firm as his. There was no hesitance or reluctance hidden in your words, and Gojo felt his stomach twist as he choked on his breath. "I don't want to be here anymore. I didn't even want to be here to begin with, Gojo! My life here has been nothing but pain and grief and utter despair and it's only gotten worse! I'm speaking with Yaga first thing tomorrow morning and transferring out."

"You can't," Gojo responded immediately, his words strangled and heavy with desperation. "You can't leave me, or Shoko. There's so much more left to do, are you really going to give up? It's just you and me and—"

"And what?" you snarled, eyes narrowing as you finally met his gaze head on. "We're gonna have a happy life? Grow up, Satoru. Riko's dead, Haibara's dead, Nanami is falling apart, and Geto is gone. There is nothing here for me anymore and honestly, sometimes I wish Fushiguro Toji had just finished it all before you arrived. You think you're the strongest and maybe you are, but you can't save everyone. We can't save everyone, clearly."

You paused briefly, a bitter laugh leaving your lips as you took in Gojo's wide-eyed stare. "The jujutsu world is a joke. And I want no part of it."

"You can't leave," he repeated, taking one last shaky breath.

"Yes. I can."

"You can't leave me," Gojo breathed, his eyes uncharacteristically soft. "I know you're in love with me."

"Well, you're wrong," you said quietly, your words getting caught in your throat as you took a deep, rattling breath. “I didn’t come to Jujutsu Tech to find friends, much less a lover.”

"I'm in love with you too," he declared in a loud voice, leaving no room for skepticism. You could feel your heart pounding in your ears, and you found yourself conflicted as you finally heard the words you had wished to hear since the moment you had met Gojo Satoru.

"Frankly, I don't care," you said after a moment of silence, pushing yourself away from him and crawling out of his lap. You took a couple of steps away from him, looking out your window in an attempt to avoid looking at him.

"You're lying," Gojo said confidently, standing up and getting closer to you. You jerked away from him, gasping when you felt his hand reach out and pull you toward him. He wasted no time before reaching up to cup your face, causing you to breathe in sharply as you screwed your eyes shut, all the fight leaving your body as you leaned into him. "I'm going to be by your side no matter what. It's you and I."

"We're gonna live forever?" you asked softly, receiving a nod from him in return.

"Exactly," he said, grinning widely as he studied your face. There was a moment of hesitation before he looked down, fingers tensing against your face. "Can I kiss you?"

There was silence as you opened your eyes to stare at him, hesitance in your eyes as you studied him for a few seconds before giving him a weak nod. He wasted no time before leaning in, capturing your lips in a soft kiss. It ended with a soft laugh from you, dissipating into sniffles as tears welled up in your eyes.

"Hey, hey, don't cry," Gojo mumbled, wiping your tears away as they fell. "Everything will be fine, I promise. You have me, and Shoko, and Nanami, and we're going to be okay. We'll get through everything together, okay?"

There was another soft nod from you, and Gojo finally let go of your face to intertwine his hand with yours. Within seconds he was pulling you down into his bed alongside him, pulling the covers over the both of you before reaching out to tuck you under his chin. His fingers ran soothingly over your spine, the tension in your body dissipating as your breathing evened out. It was when you were on the verge of passing out that he spoke once more, his voice soft and tender as stroked your hair.

"I'll never leave your side, I swear it."

You closed your eyes.

The early morning sun woke Gojo up, bright rays of light shining directly into his eyes.

He shuffled uncomfortably, realizing that the two of you had fallen asleep in your school uniforms the previous day. He reached out with a groan, eyes shooting open when he realized that he was alone in his bed. He sat up, leaning on his elbows as he glanced around, seeing no sign that you had even been in his room in the first place.

The first pair of shoes he was able to locate were his slippers, and he found himself wandering through the halls of the school as he made his way to your room. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Yaga standing outside your door, hand rubbing the bridge of his nose as he turned away.

"Satoru," Yaga greeted, turning to face Gojo when he heard his footsteps. "Good morning. What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for—"

His words died down as he looked behind Yaga, being met with an empty room. There was no trace of you having ever been there, and if he hadn't known better, he would've thought that it had always been empty. Gojo swallowed harshly, his throat unnaturally dry as he looked back at Yaga.

"Where is—"

"Gone," Yaga interrupted, shaking his head and scoffing lightly. "They left this morning. I trust you knew about our deal?"

Gojo nodded.

"They said it was time for me to hold up my end of the bargain."

He waved vaguely at your room, stepping aside to give Gojo more space. A loud sigh brought Gojo's attention to Yaga, and he raised an eyebrow as his teacher looked up at the ceiling. "I'm going to go finish their transfer paperwork."

He left Gojo with a nod, hesitating slightly before lowering his head and walking away. It was silent as Gojo walked into your room, eyes taking in the empty walls and naked bed. He perched on the edge of it, his fingers running over the bare mattress as he tried to control his breathing.

"Gojo?"

A quiet call of his name had him looking up to see Shoko, and he found himself holding back tears as she shuffled closer. She was holding out her arm, a white envelope clasped in her hand as she reached out towards him.

"They uh, they left this for you before they, y'know."

Gojo took the envelope from Shoko with trembling hands, his fingers running over the seam of it before he crumpled it in his fist, his emotions getting the best of him as Shoko gave him a concerned look.

You had given Shoko the envelope before leaving. You had seen and said goodbye to Shoko before leaving.

"You know, they really—"

"Don't."

Gojo's voice was hoarse as he interrupted Shoko, and he briefly shut his eyes as he felt them burn with unshed tears.

It was only then, with Shoko giving him a sympathetic stare, that he realized that although he promised to never leave your side, all he had received from you was silence.

reblogs are appreciated <3 ty for reading!!

#gojo x reader #jjk x reader #gojou x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk imagine #gojo imagine #gojou imagine #satoru x reader #gojo satoru imagine #jjk angst #gojo angst #gojou angst #gojo satoru angst #jujutsu kaisen imagine #gojo imagines #jujutsu kaisen angst

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bizryt · 2 years

Text

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ppomumgranatum · 2 months

Text

the dance of love's sweet potion.

also available on Ao3

pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

tags: fluff, one shot, you POV, house-neutral reader, jealousy, protective

word count: 5.3k

Warnings: MAJOR HEADCANNON, the books and the potions are all in my head just for the sake of this story, characters are in their 7th year, I finally caved and wrote the cliche protective and jealous seb and i fucking love it

Summary: When a potion meant to repel backfired, it became a mishap that turned your world upside down.

Notes: I was craving some fluff, so a fluff was created ❤️

Revulsaroma is a powerful potion that demands careful handling and discretion. Designed for specific situations where deterring unwanted advances or repelling individuals is necessary, its potency requires utmost caution. Ingredients: • 3 drops of essence of skunk cabbage • 2 crushed doxy wings • 1 teaspoon of powdered Boomslang skin • 4 ounces of extract from a Devil's Snare vine • 1 pinch of powdered Basilisk fang • Hair from the person brewing the potion

You carefully traced your finger along the intricate words laid out in the book you had kept from your parents’ dusty collection on potion making and meticulously followed the instructions. Taking advantage of the quiet after hours, you used the station at potion class to get on with your mission.

You’re not a pro in potion making per se, but the way you precisely measure out ingredients, stirring the potion with such poise, you feel as skilled as Professor Sharp– if he was plagued with a horrible disease of a red-haired boy goes by the name of Leander Prewett.

For weeks, Leander had been following you around so relentlessly and constantly asking you out. It was cute at first but now it was starting to feel like pure harassment. Despite numerous rejection, it didn't seem like he’s the type of guy who understood the concept of boundaries and your patience was wearing extremely thin.

You remembered an old potion you once came across when you were younger– Revulsaroma, a repelling potion. You figured it was time to revisit those pages since you’re in a dire need for a solution.

You stirred the components inside of your cauldron with a pinch of determination, distress, and a lot of rage. The earthy and putrid notes filled the air and it was probably going to stick with you for a while but you surely hoped this was going to be worth it.

When the potion finally came to completion, you carefully transferred it to a pumpkin juice bottle to trick Leander into drinking it.

“Alright, that looks good.” You sighed in relief as you put the bottle down and stared at the securely stored dark liquid with pride, knowing that soon you’d be able to take a break from the unwanted attention. At least for a while just until you could figure out a permanent way to stop him,

You proceeded to clean up your station and returned some tools that you took from the inventory room, making sure that everything was back in its rightful spot. Because Merlin knew that you couldn’t take another chide from Professor Sharp about the importance of being responsible and organised.

Just when everything was about to be restored to its pristine state, you heard a loud retching coming from the other room. When you rushed outside, you saw your bestfriend, hands desperately grasping the edge of your station, body racked with violent gagging, and breath ragged in a grave attempt to gasp for air.

“Sebastian?” You exclaimed while rushing to his side, “Are you alright?”

“Came to—bleughh—look for you,” Sebastian managed to say in between his guttural heaves.

“What’s wrong?” Your voice trailed off when you saw your pumpkin juice bottle collapsed and empty. Right at that moment, your eyes widened at the realisation that Sebastian just drank your Revulsaroma. “No, no, no. You bloody, bloody idiot!”

Quickly, you summoned water from an empty jar that you found nearby and gave it to Sebastian who was still fighting the disgusting taste stuck in his throat.

Gulping down the entire water in a matter of milliseconds, Sebastian attempted to catch his breath, “Your pumpkin juice— is expired, by the way.”

“Oh my God, oh my God, Sebastian!” You ran your fingers through your hair in distress. What was already a pretty stressful situation just got a whole lot worse.

“What?” He was truly not getting your frustration. He gagged once more, recoiling whatever last bit of that disgusting liquid he's tasting.

“That’s not pumpkin juice!” You scowled and gestured abruptly.

“What is it, then? Poison?” Every muscle on his face seemed to tensed up, still.

“Why would you fucking drink that? It was meant for Leander.” You grunted.

His grimace was then taken over by disbelief for a moment, “Gods, killing Leander is a bit extreme, don’t you think? Even for me.”

“No—ugh,” You sighed heavily, feeling totally overwhelmed. Slumping on your station, you rested your head on it "This is bad. It's really bad."

“You're freaking me out. What is it?”

You lifted your head from the table, meeting his concerned gaze with a weary expression.

“It’s a potion called Revulsaroma. It is supposed to repel whoever drinks it.” You admitted.

Sebastian was still focused on getting the foul taste out of his tongue, but his eyes were quickly narrowed in the scrutiny of your last sentence, “And why exactly are you trying to repel Leander?”

Catching Sebastian's look, a twinge of guilt pricked at you. You winced inwardly, realising you'd never really spilled the beans to Sebastian about the whole Leander debacle. Partly because you didn’t want to give him the wrong idea and thinking that there was anything romantic going on between you and the Gryffindor boy.

The line on your relationship with Sebastian had always been blurry, if you could be honest. You’re obviously friends—best friends—but at the same time, the chemistry between the two of you would be such a waste to stay as friends.

You’d occasionally exchange innocent flirting, teasing each other and bantering in a way that felt more than platonic. You couldn't deny the butterflies in your stomach that fluttered every time he smiled at you and the way you felt when he complimented you.

Things had been going very well lately, and you'd like to think you had a shot to turn it into something more.

But now, he’s consumed the one thing that was going to seal the chance you have with him. Because whatever feeling he was going to feel, the potion was supposed to make him feel it so strongly.

The thought of losing Sebastian terrified you.

“That’s not what we’re supposed to be focusing on.” You diverted the topic and reached out to your book, checking for things to look out for. Your eyes trailed the ink that explains the detail of the potion.

You noticed Sebastian had shifted his weight from the corner of your eye, moving somewhat uncomfortable in his feet.

"But what does that mean for me?" he asked.

You sighed, trying to collect your thoughts. "According to the potion's effects, you're supposed to start feeling aversions towards me," you explained, gesturing towards the brewing cauldron with a frustrated gesture. "and I have no idea how to reverse it.”

Your voice was heavy with disappointment. The same emotion was written all over Sebastian's face. There was silence as you both processed the fact that there was no quick fix to this mess.

“So, I’m supposed to hate you? Just like that?”

“That’s kind of the whole point of the potion.”

Sebastian's eyes scanned the cluttered laboratory, a look of resignation settling over his features. "Well, this is just great," he muttered under his breath. Sebastian's complexion turned paler, a nauseous expression crossing his features, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Sebastian stood there, his hand pressed against his stomach, unsure if the wave of nausea washing over him was solely due to the potion's effects or the unsettling thought of hating you.

But then he felt his body teetering on the brink of collapse. You grappled his arm to provide support but his condition worsened in an instant and he started to fall backwards. Using every ounce of your strength, you were struggling to keep him upright because damn this boy was heavy. And when his weight eventually bore you down, you lowered him down gently.

There was no response even after you called out his name and shook his body. His breathing was laboured and you were panicking. You didn’t know the potion would be this strong.

Spotting a group of students who were passing by outside of the classroom, you called out to them for assistance. Sebastian was then taken to the infirmary and was given proper treatment by Nurse Blainey.

You had to awkwardly explain what caused the brunette to lose his consciousness. Given the fact that you were practising and using potions for non-study purposes, disciplinary action was necessary and you were required to attend detention tomorrow.

When you returned to your room that night, all you did was shift around in your bed. Spending the entire night thinking about Sebastian and how he will wake up in the morning hating you.

But for now, all you could do was wait.

When the sun rose, you were quick to get back on your feet and head towards the infirmary to check on Sebastian before breakfast started. But to your surprise, he was no longer there. Nurse Blainey said he woke up all energetic and there were no signs of any disturbance so she allowed him to get on with school.

You were slightly relieved to know that Sebastian was feeling better. Although the question of his feelings towards you remained unknown.

So you ventured on, heading to the Great Hall for breakfast. Moving along with a crowd of students who were also making their way to the venue you suddenly bumped into someone.

“Oh, sorry.” You glanced up to see it was no other than Sebastian, “Hey, I was looking for you.”

You’ve caused some traffic considering you abruptly stopped in the middle of a walkaway crowd. Some were bumping into you and muttered under their breaths in annoyance. It was a horrible time to be upsetting people—hungry and grumpy people.

So Sebastian dragged you away from the crowd. You were caught a little bit off guard at the sudden tug on your elbow. Your feet were almost stumbling around trying to catch up to Sebastian’s pace.

“Are you insane?” Was the first thing he said when you found a quiet little corner away from the bustling people.

Your stomach clenched.

This was it.

The memories you shared for the past two years dramatically flashed before your eyes— the adventures, the late night studies, the stupid unfunny jokes he made but you laughed at them anyway— fuck.

This was it.. he hated you.

“Why would you tell Nurse Blainey the truth about everything?” He sounded quite aggravated. Unexpectedly, it was not for the reason you thought it would be— albeit he should be angry towards you for no reason at all considering the potion.

Your mouth gaped open but you were struggling to find the words.

"You could've just said it was a bad batch for our assignment," He explained. "You didn't have to get detention for it."

“What?” You finally managed to sputter out.

“Blainey said she gave you detention.” He added, “I feel bad.”

You can’t feel bad for someone you hate unless they fall into lava and viciously die or something. Because to feel bad meant having empathy, and to feel empathy meant he cared, which meant he didn’t hate you and the potion never worked.

Right?

“So you don’t hate me?” You asked carefully.

His tensed brows gradually softened as realisation dawned on him. He was so focused on you that he never really thought of what the potion was supposed to make him feel.

“I don’t, actually.” He sounded relieved and as were you upon hearing his confirmation, “I guess the potion never worked after all.”

Relief washed over you like a cool breeze on a hot day. Though you started wondering if the potion didn’t work on Sebastian, it might’ve not worked on Leander either. Which meant you were back to square one, trying to figure out how to deal with his annoying arse.

But it was a problem you didn’t want to think about too much at the moment. You were just glad your friendship with Sebastian remained intact despite the unfortunate mishap.

“So what did Blainey assign you to do?”

“She said Scribner has been fussing over some organising issues.” You grumbled, “She told me to give her some assistance after classes.”

“Yikes.” Sebastian said, “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry.” You retorted, “Are you really feeling alright?”

“As normal as I can be.” He smiled reassuringly, “Though, you still haven’t told me why you were trying to repel Leander.”

“He just..” You hesitated for a moment, annoys me.”

Technically, you didn’t lie. Leander’s entire antics had been nothing but annoying to you. Sebastian only pursed his lips and nodded. Be that as it may, his eyes were looking at you rather dubiously. But he didn’t pry further.

–

After breakfast, you had some time to kill before class started. You found yourself seeking solace in the quiet lounge area near the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. With a book on Revulsaroma in hand, you sought answers in its pages that you might have missed. It explained further about its history and the past research on this potion. As you delved deeper, a particular section caught your eye that described a crucial detail—

The Revulsaroma potion's effectiveness in repelling a drinker is contingent upon the absence of strong positive emotions towards the potion-maker. If the drinker harbours genuine affection for the potion-maker, the potion's repelling properties may be nullified or significantly weakened. This phenomenon is attributed to the potent influence of positive emotions, which can act as a counterforce against the potion's intended repulsion.

Before you could dwell on it further, Leander plopped beside you out of nowhere and casually draped his arm around your shoulder, interrupting your thoughts.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He greeted you with a smile so charming if he wasn’t so pushy about it you could see yourself giving in to his cheesy escapades. You subtly shifted away from the sudden proximity, hoping he would take the hint some time.

“Good morning, Leander.” You replied politely.

He seemed to be undeterred by your subtle attempt because he leaned in closer, “So, I was thinking, with the weather getting nicer and all, let’s take a trip around the highlands.” He sounded so enthusiastic for a suggestion that’s so inappropriate, “We could explore the beautiful scenery. My family has this cosy little cottage just outside of Keenbridge that we can use. What do you think?”

You scrunched up your nose because it sounded bloody ridiculous, “A bit intimate, don’t you think?”

“What’s wrong with a little bit of intimacy?”

“Nothing wrong with it, of course. If you’re a couple.”

“Oh, come on. You’ll love it.” Leander’s enthusiasm didn’t waver, if anything he sounded even more excited.

“It’s too much—”

He interrupted you with a tone so persuasive, “Okay fine, how about just a simple Hogsmeade date, then?”

You sighed at his persistence. It’s really getting too much.

“Leander, it’s really sweet but—”

Suddenly, your conversation was interrupted by a looming shadow casted over the both of you. Glancing up, you saw Sebastian standing there with an uncharacteristically serious expression.

“I’m going to count to three, Prewett, and you are going to stand up and get your arse the fuck out of here.” He demanded.

“What are you going to do about it if I don’t?” He was annoyed by Sebastian's sudden intervention.

The brunette’s gaze was focused on the way Leander had his arms wrapped around your shoulder and the way his hand was caressing your arm at the same time. Then he stared dead into Leander's eyes, “You don’t want to find out.”

Somehow you found yourself caught in the middle of the sudden hostility.

“Sebastian.” You warned him softly.

“Ignore him.” Leander didn't care for the threat. But Sebastian wasn’t having it and when Leander was ready to ignore him and continue his conversation with you, Sebastian grabbed him by his collar that it forced Leander to stand up, and he dragged the red haired boy away and slammed his back into a nearby pillar.

“I told you to fucking stand up and get out of here.” Sebastian scowled.

“Get your filthy hands off of me.” Leander attempted to shrug off Sebastian’s grip but it only grew tighter.

“Then you better get yours away from her.” His voice was so low and menacing. You had no idea what possessed him, because as aggressive as Sebastian could get he wouldn’t be so quick to resort to anything so recklessly physical unless it’s necessary— at least not anymore.

“Are you both out of your minds?” You stood beside the conflicting boys, “Stop being children or you will get into trouble.” The confrontation was drawing more attention from onlookers, and you could sense the tension rising.

A crowd started gathering around to see what the fuss was about. Students nearby paused and turned their heads, curious about the commotion. Whispers and side conversations began to buzz through the group as they watched the confrontation unfold.

You felt a bit awkward with the sudden attention. The whole thing was getting more dramatic than you'd anticipated, and you just wanted to find a way to sort it out before it got worse.

“What is your problem, Sallow?”

“You are the problem, Prewett. Can’t you take the hint?”

“It’s none of your business.” The Gryffindor boy was defensive— as anyone would be if someone just randomly shoved you into the wall and told you what to do.

“It becomes my business when you decide to harass her.”

“You are making a scene. Stop it.” You warned them, hoping they would steer away from the conflict. But they were still too busy with each other.

“Trying to be a big hero, aren’t you? Protecting her?” Leander was clearly taunting him. Sebastian wouldn’t usually allow himself to be bothered by whatever nonsense Leander would do. But this time was different, “She doesn’t need you. She can make her own decision.”

“And she did, when she said no.” Sebastian retorted sharply, “So back off.”

“If you are so worried about me taking her out then you should’ve asked her first. Don’t come here and act all heroic because you missed your chance.” Leander fired back, “If you weren’t such a coward—-”

There went the last cell of Sebastian’s brain that allowed him to think rationally when he decided to punch Leander in the face, sending the red-haired boy stumbling and his nose bleeding.

“Sebastian!” You stepped in between them, trying to push Sebastian back behind the line he just crossed. His eyes were glaring and breaths were rather ragged from the anger, “What the fuck are you doing?”

After being punched unexpectedly, Leander's pride and dignity were hurt. He wouldn't tolerate being attacked without retaliating. He mustered all of his anger and frustration to punch Sebastian with all of his force.

But before he could, Sebastian struck again, landing a second punch on his face. Leander stumbled backwards again, but this time he was quicker to get back on his feet and lunged forward, swinging his fists wildly.

Sebastian was able to dodge a few of his blows, but Leander managed to land a couple of powerful punches on Sebastian's cheek.

Sebastian stepped back, his face red from pain and anger. Now the two of them had no choice but to fight, and you had no choice but to look for some help. Luckily, it wasn’t long for you to reach Professor Hecat, because when you returned to the brawl, Leander was already pinned to the floor with Sebastian on top of him, landing more punches.

Professor Hecat swiftly casted a spell that immediately shoved both of them away from each other.

The two boys stood there with battered faces and were later sent to the same detention as you.

You had no desire in conversing with idiots, so when the three of you shared the space on one of the library aisle, organising books, you gave all your might to ignore them, especially Sebastian.

You thought he’d left his impetuous behaviour back in the catacombs two years ago, but clearly you were wrong. The way you aggressively shoved books into places allowed Sebastian to notice that you were furious.

“I know you’re angry at me.” He said, breaking the silence.

“Oh really? Didn’t think you’d notice. I was being subtle.” You replied sarcastically.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what had gotten into me.” His voice was soft but outright, “You know I don't fight muggle-style.”

You remained cold. There was nothing about his apology that made you feel better. So you continued to ignore him and he tried to speak up again.

“Can we talk?” He pleaded but you ignored him. You picked up a stack of books and moved to the next aisle to shelve them in their proper places.

Sebastian followed you behind, not backing down, “I’m really, really, sorry.”

He seemed genuinely apologetic, but you were reluctant to give in. After all, his actions had caused this entire mess and resulted in the two boys getting detention.

You didn’t want to argue with him, but you couldn’t resist making a point.

“Tell that to Leander and his broken nose.”

Sebastian let out a scoff, “I’m not sorry about that.”

“Seriously Sebastian? You hit him first. He just reacted.” You turned to face him this time.

"He was harassing you," Sebastian defended himself, "I had to do something."

"Did you have to punch him in the face? Repeatedly?”

“Why are you defending him?” His tone was rising, "What do you expect me to do? Just stand by and let him flirt with you?"

“What is so wrong with that?”

“Because—” Then he stopped himself. Eyes flustered and flicked between yours like he was trying to gather his own thoughts. Then he let out a frustrated sigh, “Leander is a self-oriented, self-indulgent, arrogant, selfish, insufferable jerk.”

You shook your head in disbelief and stared dead at him in the eye, “Well, right now it sounds like you were just describing yourself, Sebastian.”

Before you could say anything else, you left him alone in the aisle and this time he didn’t follow you.

—

It was Saturday morning, and while you had no classes to attend, you were still stuck with detention for a portion of the day. Not only did this eat into your weekend leisure time, but you also had to spend it without talking to Sebastian.

You sighed as you placed books somewhere in the corner of the library right where they belonged.

Couldn’t help but think that spending your weekend somewhere in the castle, perhaps the undercroft, reading books and being alone together with Sebastian was where you belonged.

Time sure felt lonely without his presence.

Then as if he could read your mind from miles away he showed up, “Do you like Leander?”

Shocked and confused by the sudden question you turned to find Sebastian standing at the end of the aisle.

His face was a patchwork of bruises and cuts, a visible reminder of the fight he had gotten into with Leander. A purplish bruise marred his cheek, and a small cut above his eyebrow was still fresh. Despite his battered appearance, his eyes were focused intently on you, filled with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.

“What?” You asked.

“I spent the entire night thinking about you. I thought maybe you like Leander, because why did you defend him so much yesterday?” He rambled.

You opened your mouth to say something but Sebastian wasn’t finished.

“But then I thought, if you liked him, why did you want to repel him with the potion?” He continued, “And why did you reject him when he asked you out? Five times, over the past month.”

You opened your mouth again, but this time every single word you have learned seemed to have fallen over your head because not a single thing came to your mind.

There were two things that surprised you.

One, Sebastian spent the entire night thinking about you.

Two, Sebastian knew that Leander had been asking you out.

And your brain did not know which one to stress about first.

“You knew about Leander?” You finally said.

“We share every class everyday. You don’t think I’d notice?” He replied with another question, “He wasn’t subtle about it either. Was I not supposed to know?”

You fell quiet, unsure of what to say next. The more you opened your mouth, the more you found yourself with nothing to say.

Sebastian waited for your response, but when it did not come, he continued, “Why did you keep rejecting him?”

You shrugged, slightly flustered, “Simply because I don’t want to go out with him.”

“Why did you not tell me about him, then?”

“It wasn’t worth mentioning,” you replied, avoiding his gaze.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Sebastian stared at you, as if he couldn’t believe your answer.

“It was pointless,” Your tone was rising slightly, “It’s not like I would ever date Leander. I wasn’t even giving him a second thought. So It doesn’t matter.”

Sebastian was silent for a beat before he spoke again. “It matters to me.”

Your pulse raced, and the air suddenly felt tighter.

Sebastian was staring at you, his eyes intent and penetrating. The silence stretched on, and you had to force yourself to look him in the eye

“Everything about you matters to me. You’re my best friend. We’re supposed to share everything, right?” He added, “Isn’t that what best friends do?”

As you stood there, guilt was eating you inside out. Your decision to leave him in the dark unexpectedly hurt him more than you thought. The look in his eyes was so unfamiliar you couldn’t pinpoint his emotion.

He took a step closer.

“Why do you care so much? It’s just Leander.”

“Don’t you get it?” He said softly, “It’s not about Leander. It’s about the fact that he’s been asking you out, flirting with you relentlessly, being so close with you.. in a way that is supposed to be only for me.”

You stood there, stunned. His words hit you like a bolt of lightning, and you felt a mix of shock and confusion wash over you.

Sebastian took another step towards you, his gaze steady and unbreaking, and it was piercing through your soul.

“It’s supposed to be just for me” He repeated the phrase as if he was talking to himself. The look in his eyes was intense, and you could feel how important this was to him.

A moment passed until you realised that you should respond. The longer you stayed silent, the worse it felt. So you spoke up, “Are you jealous?”

“Yes.” He simply replied.

His response set your body ablaze. You could feel your heart pounding in your throat.

“I was supposed to hate you, but instead I woke up that morning in the infirmary and I couldn’t be more sure that I am utterly and completely in love with you.” His voice dropped, “And when I saw you with Leander and hearing all the things that he said, I meant it when I told you I had no idea what had gotten into me but all I knew was every single cell in my body was on fire.”

You thought for sure your heart would explode as all of this sunk in. You had expected anything but a confession. Your heart was beating so fast and hard that you had to concentrate on breathing, or else it felt like you couldn't breathe.

“I spent the entire night thinking about all of the time we've spent.” He added, “I can't stop thinking about the sound of your laughter. The way you'd still genuinely laugh at the most unfunny joke I would tell. Or how your usual bright eyes would fall into a deep immersion when you read. And the way your delicate finger hovers over the edge of a page, turning it over.”

A smile tugged on the corner of Sebastian's lips as he recalled every little detail about you that only he would care about. The beat of your heart went faster with each syllable that came out of his mouth and every nerve in your body was shaking.

“I always wonder how the touch of those fingertips would feel on my skin,” There were so many things he wanted to say to you. Every detail of you that made him so desperately in love, “and how perfect your fingers would be intertwining with mine.”

For a moment, you were one-hundred percent sure this was all a dream. Because everything around you seemed so blurry and all of the sudden everything felt surreal. But when Sebastian took another step closer, and another until he was close enough to grab your hands and intertwine your fingers together, the haze dissipated. The way his touch alerted every single nerve in your body, you knew that this was real— he was real and he was in love with you.

The two of you stood there, inches apart, staring at each other with your emotions overflowing.

“We belong together.” You could see that his intensity and raw emotion was getting the better of him. His words were coming out quick and sudden, “I should’ve asked you out long before Leander did. Just another stupid mistake I made.”

He inched closer and closer until you felt Sebastian's breath on your lips, and your body trembled in anticipation. You took a deep breath and let yourself fall into the moment.

“You could’ve been too late, you know?” You whispered.

“Am I?”

You shook your head and smiled against his lips, “No, you’re not. I’ve been stupidly waiting for you.”

Sebastian's voice was soft and tender as he spoke again, “I’m glad we’re both stupid enough, then. And for many other things that make me glad you're finally mine."

“Even the potion?” You smirked.

“Especially the damn potion.” A smile spread across Sebastian's face.

Your breaths were laced with desire, and your thoughts went to the first kiss between the two of you were going to share. It felt surreal to have arrived at this moment that you had both anticipated for so long.

Your lips were close enough to touch. Your hearts were beating so loudly. And in this moment, it felt like a moment out of time.

When his lips met yours, the world seemed to melt away and everything else faded into the background. It was everything it had built up to be—hot and passionate and exciting.

You kissed him deeply and all was right with the world. Sebastian's hands wrapped around your back, and yours around his neck.

Your senses were all focused on Sebastian, on the kiss and the way he made you feel. This was what you had been waiting for, and it was everything you dreamed of and more.

When you pulled away, your eyes were locked and you found yourselves smiling uncontrollably. There was nothing left to feel awkward or unsure of, and it felt as if a weight had been lifted.

Sebastian brushed his fingers through your hair. You were finally getting your happiness.

"I love you," He whispered against your lips.

“I love you, too.” you replied softly, brushing your noses together.

You spent the rest of the day making out in the deepest corner of the library, neglecting your detention. And when Madam Scribner found the two of you some time later, all dishevelled, you were granted another detention time.

But neither of you cared. Because it was all worth it.

In an extremely rare case, the Revulsaroma potion could have an unprecedented effect, completely opposite to its intended repelling nature. Rather than nullifying or weakening, the potion might paradoxically amplify and reinforce any existing strong positive feelings that the drinker harboured towards the potion-maker. Due to genuine and deep-seated love for the maker, the drinker might experience a surge of intense emotions that can be both overwhelming and consuming, such as, jealousy, protectiveness, and overwhelming affection.

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