#internal brain states

[elviraaxen]

I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants

[itspileofgoodthings]

had a very nice realization about peace, especially spiritual peace, the other day. (Been brewing for a while.) and it’s just: peace is for the non-peaceful.

[dosesofcommonsense]

Nothing has changed. A compromised pollster puts out a fake poll. Kalshi bets dropped Trump lower. Kamala surged because the internal polling is that bad.

Vote like your life depends on it because it does.

TOO BIG TO RIG.

100M and growing.

The Unity Ticket is set to oust the Globalist tyrants.

Don’t give into the Psyop. Go vote, and we win.

[starfilledsky2810]

damn I yap a lot

tldr; im alive, sadly im still on hiatus, other stuff is fine now I just have new [physical] problems, you'll know when I'm fully back (give it another couple months) and comfortable, I'm in a [technically well-over] 3-month long ongoing depressive episode [not tryna do trauma olympics or make anyone feel bad btw it's all chill]

so sorry if I've left you hanging [with art or smth], I'll get to it in time, I promise [I may have unwillingly forgotten, likely not but there's a chance]

Hey, I'm alive, I have been for the.. almost 6 months I've been gone. Holy shit, I didn't even realise that it's been that long. I figured I should at least say something in case anyone is worried or wondering even though everything isn't solved yet, so, here. [under the read more so it's not flooding or anything]

Also, I figure I should apologise for venting on main and just leaving it up - this is all going to stay up because I need to keep it somewhere to aid with my memory issues - but, still, must've been a little weird

Absolutely not a good time to say all this [for me bc I haven't thought this message through] but I'm kinda half-back, just on hiatus from socials due to declining physical health. Really badly declining, I need help honestly

Originally, as you know, I was gone because I had a really bad fall out with my mother, but things pertaining to that have been solved now [except me not feeling 100% safe and trusting to my mother, that will never change. She's tried hard, I just wish I could find her reliable emotionally as well]. It's just that, since then, basically, all these physical problems that I don't understand have been royally fucking me up and messing with my mental too. It's messed with everything I love. I don't know what to do anymore.

Oh wait, where I was actually going with this, so

OK nvm I forgot but you'll see me around bc I've been talking to certain people trying to pretend like nothing's happened and I've made the kinda-silly decision to not fully come off hiatus or talk to other certain people before I'm okay again.

[thevioletcaptain]

me: [publishes two ficlets at 2:30am on a monday, one of which is probably a hard nope for a decent chunk of fandom]

me: [looks at ao3 six hours later]

also me: why aren’t these my most popular works????

[bare1ythere]

GOD University makes me so depressed

[rotisseries]

inspired by elli's poll lol cause this seems fun actually but if you guys have bad answers I'll kill myself on your doorstep or smth

[rotzaprachim]

I think people getting their politics from animated movies for children is so annoying. That being said I think Nimona was Unironically one of the most ideologically complex and serious treatments of modern antisemitism I’ve ever seen.

[lieutenantselnia]

I currently have to write a thesis, work on the biggest project in my entire study programme and will have to start preparing for my bachelor's exam at some point, and my brain thinks now it's a good time to get back into Red Dead Redemption 2👍

[gibbearish]

btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest

[blacknidstang]

Every damn time it drives me insane how soulless sam reminds me of dissociative episodes after some very very emotionally taxing period. Like there are times i wake up and i feel like a clone of myself, i know my past self, i know i had emotions, i know i felt things but at that moment all of these feel so so far away and so alien. That complete drainage, the way your brain just shuts all sorts of feelings down. It was so scary when i became aware of that at one point bc how do you go from feeling so intensely to this? It's almost like you really are no longer the real you.

I know sam's soul is practically still in hell & soulless is simultaneously wondering the earth but to me this will always be a metaphor for post traumatic experience/emotionally intense dissociation. Like even not considering hell itself, s5 sam was the most miserable broken state already. Boy i sure would stop feeling anything at all anymore after that. Anyway i am no professional in that field but that's how i see it based on very personal experiences

[the-kipsabian]

will ospreay called me luv btw :)

[moafleco]

i hate that duality that your mind can be your safe heaven that helps you get through some difficult things, keeps you going and brings you happiness at the worst of times. and at the very same time it could be your worst tormentor that won't let you rest and won't let you breathe, literally for no particular reason at all. and you can't leave or silence it. can't get it to stop when it gets dark in there. can't get the light in when you desperately need to feel a respite instead of suffocation.

[fitzrove]

studying for an exam and haunted by this.....

[allroseshave-their-pricks]

good news - I am no longer Dying over my informal dance partner

bad news - I am now dying about an aerospace engineering grad student I met at a conference who lives SIXTEEN HOURS AWAY FROM ME

[oneshortdamnfuse]

We are going to have an internal refugee crisis soon. It’s already happening, but it’s only going to get worse as conservative governments continue to push fascist legislation criminalizing transgender people. Right now, transgender people and their families have to make the difficult decision on whether or not they stay or flee their home states. Otherwise, they are facing genocide. This is not hyperbole. The purpose of this legislation is to eradicate the existence of transgender people.

People should not have to leave their homes. Refugees are displaced people who often do not want to uproot their lives from their home states. It is never an easy or simple decision to “just leave.” This displacement is a huge financial burden, and it is traumatic. Furthermore, this displacement “drains” the state they are leaving of people who could challenge the political corruption causing their displacement. It is why we see refugee crises around the world persist for decades.

At the same time that states are passing anti-trans bills that forcibly out transgender school children, we’re doing professional development on how to keep trans kids safe in New York schools through safety plans. States like mine have served as “sanctuary” states during refugee crises, and it would not surprise me if we receive an influx of people because of this internal displacement. While we have the means to protect people (for now), our state alone cannot stop this genocide.

The majority of my students are migrants, immigrants, and refugees. I am very familiar with how refugee crises play out, and it’s that familiarity that makes me very concerned for our future in the United States. If you’re not taking this seriously or you think that this is something that could never happen in this country, you need to start taking it seriously now and at least informing yourself on ways to slow and/or stop altogether the advancement of this genocide. Everyone thinks it won’t happen to them until it does.

There are patterns throughout history that indicate a refugee crisis could be coming. There are patterns throughout history that indicate a genocide is building. People fleeing their home states - not just moving, fleeing - in order to escape persecution is an indicator of both. It will get worse in those states the more people flee. If you live in those states, you need to come up with a plan. Now. You may not want to leave. I understand and I empathize with that, but you should have an emergency plan in place.

There have been discussions about creating networks between states that could provide transportation for people fleeing persecution, but I have not seen anything “official” in place. I know that Rainbow Railroad is an organization that helps LGBTQIA+ refugees around the world find safety. I don’t know to what extent they have assisted internally displaced people in the United States. I will share resources I come across in the future.

While it is crucial for people within these states to have an emergency plan in place, it is important to not lose focus on ways we can stop the advance of fascist state governments. We need to vote, but not only that we need to put extreme pressure on our politicians to codify protections for transgender people. Most importantly, we cannot give a platform to figures within the anti-trans movement. These people are conspiring to eradicate transgender people and we cannot give them the power to do so.