#instead we get like a month lol
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ONE WEEK UNTIL HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL THE MUSICAL THE SERIES SEASON 4!!!!!
#I'M SO EXCITED :DDD#but also I'm not reayd for it to end 😭😭❤️💔#also not ready to be destroyed by it for other reasons as well lol xD like the drama#BUT I need to stop focusing so much on being sad that it's ending (this rewatch is killing me in this regard lol) and more focused on how#EXCITED I AM :DDD!!!#WHOOOO 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥰#still though they should've given me more time xD#to process it but also another season lol I'm good with that too#plus then there could've been all the heartbreaking but at least deserved (in a good way) last season promo!!#instead we get like a month lol#ANYWAY#hsmtmts#oasis's hsmtmts chatter#high school musical the musical the series#high school musical the musical the series season 4#hsmtmts s4#this show means so much to me <333#and I am so excited for it :DD
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made a digital redraw of this sketchbook doodle
#idk if this counts as digivember xp#I wanted to try a new brush in procreate but couldn’t be arsed to come up with any new ideas lol#I like this brush for everything except laying down the flats jjgghghfgvg it just doesn’t work together with the bucket tool#maybe I’ll try it in clip studio next to see if I can get it to work the way I want in a different app#anyway here's wonderwall#my art#my stuff#fanart#artists on tumblr#voltron#digital art#vld#procreate#procreateapp#vld keith#vld lance#klance#vld klance#voltron legendary disappointment#I mean#voltron legendary defender#we moved a week ago and it totally messed up my digivember flow#I have drawing number 15 in the works but sadly I won’t finish it before the month ends because I chose to make this instead lol
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#vee queued to fill the void#*falls to floor* LIKE ITS THE LAYERS BRO—#THE LAYERS TO JAKURAIS SUFFERING AND HOW EACH ONE GOT TOUCHED ON ITS INSANE#UWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHH#*takes off the mtr glasses and puts back on the bat glasses* i saw a bat fan wondering wtf could be happening in bat’s track#when this was how mtr’s unfolded and i do get where they’re coming from lmao#i always have a theory or two lol like i genuinely thought at one point listening to the mtr track#that sensei was going to be able to wake yotsutsuji bc dohifu were going to use the true hypnosis mic together intending to die together#which goes against the lesson that had been taught up to that point tbh lmao but since we learned you could share mics in a bat track#i thought maybe here was where it was coming to play lol#BUT WHAT IF BAT A FAMILY WHO PUTS THEIR LIVES ON ON THE LINE ARE GOING TO DO THAT INSTEAD that’s what i mean i always have a theory lmao#i’ll be plenty thrilled by whatever they throw at me lol like why would mic sharing come back???#for what purpose would laying their lives on the line serve???? is that something about them that needs to change or do they embrace it???#*intense vibrating* two more months……………………………..
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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fit check ( featuring my insulated sweatpants i got in trouble for wearing today) + my new ELECTRIC COMMUTER BIKE SCOOTER that has immediately changed my life i was doing a two hour walking commute the majority of days and now i have this so my daily life will be a little less of a biblical level tribulation
#i do have to bundle up and look like a total goober on it but whatever who cares ifs actually very enjoyable since my way to work is like#90% on a well maintained bike path#soon i will learn to drive LOL#this really does change everything all i want to talk about is my stupid bike#im so very lucky thank u connors mom lol#it goes 20 mph and has a 20 mile radius the walmart is also on that very well maintained bike path. its great. its great life is great#tldr tldr thank god thank god#now i can start getting groceries at aldis again and make time for the gym go to like six stores a day instead of just one a month LOL#connor and i have matching ones btw so we really are a sideshow act driving together lol but its awesome who cares
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thank yoy for drawing erik so big . He is a big man. HUGE EVEN. thank you.
Big man……….. i love me big man…..
#snap chats#i LOVE drawing big mfers and i hate that i have a core memory of when this all started for me#i had no chance it all started when i was a wee lad i knew id be doomed to lovin drawin big men djznKNs#its all the shapes… round… and the occasional squish yk…#also just. Big. i like big. bigger the better etc etc#i have a problem i am SICK#soeaking of problems Dilema what do i eat#my fam did just make adobo… my moms friends adobo so thats how you know its ESPECIALLY delicious#ong wait i was so caught up in the euphoria of meat i forgot the My Month Cant Get Worse news skOWNSSJ#SO I HAD A DOCS APPOINTMENT FOR MY MEDICINE AND LITERALLY LIKE. BEFORE I HEAD TO THE STATION#MY DADS LIKE ‘son our insurance isnt eligible anymore’ WHAT DO YOU /MEAN/#on a lighter note we were talkin bout when we’d go to the doc#and my dad was like ‘no gothic looks today’ abd i was like ‘lol fair’ and i made a joke about Being Normal Now#TELL ME WHY THIS MAN IMMEDIATRLY CALLS AFTER AND IS LIKE ‘my son im sorry you know i love your fashion :( youre always normal to me-#i didnt mean to offend’ LIKE DAD I WAS JOKING /ENOUGH/. ACTUALLY too fuckin silly and it says a lot#my dad always says Dont Say Sorry Unless You Have Something To Apologize For so the fact he /called/ a sec later#instead of leaving a quick apology or something. i do not apologize for dedicating half these tags to my dad#he is far too funny djOWDJSJEK BUT ANYWAY im gonna go eat ig idk#i have an online assignment due tonight but its a grouo assignment but no ones reached out despite me attempting to get ahold of them all 🫠#fingers crossed things turnaround idk… i hate online classes.. ok byebfiODJSJ
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hey do you think the Crows control the mage circles in Antiva too, in some way? do you think the heads of Houses get handed the phylacteries of their mage members? do they bring in trainers from the Circles, or send them to classes in the towers, or do they have to wait for a mage to "graduate" before they can recruit them into a House properly? or are mages who are taken by the Crows just quietly ignored until the phylactery needs to be used?
#I saw One source say Antiva has Mage Circles and it's been haunting me ever since#because I just... I don't see that system working as well as it does in Fereldan#I don't see the Crows (who tend to recruit very young) leaving mages as an untapped market for their members#nor do I see them leaving them in a Tower when they could be training to be a Crow at the same time#it feels like maybe the Knife Houses would get stuck trying to snag an older mage and speed running some Crow training#while Talon Houses could just stare down the Tower and make them send tutors#I've been quietly thinking about how Viago might react to Rook de Riva getting stuck in the Fade#and how Antiva having a Circle means they have a phylactery system#and him being like “well okay you're all fucking stupid- we have their blood let's use that to track them??? idiots??”#not taking into account that I have no idea if the tracking magic would even work#or if all the Circles/Towers would use that same system outside Fereldan#and this ignores the funny little Colleges that could be a thing depending on your Inq choices lol#I'm just a Mage Origins girly so I see “circle” and “mage” and go oh!! blood fuckery!!!#the storage of said phylacteries could be either with the Houses (again Talons likely) or in the Tower(s) either works I'm just Thinking#like what if.... black market Mage Circle... just for the Crows.... it could be worse than the usual Circles.... I'm Just Thinking...#sleepy and thinking about this while editing chapter 2 instead of dunking myself into bed#just imagine Viago during the year Rook de Riva is away staring down a little vial of their blood#knowing they're just a little ritual and a few months away from being home again#I like the angst!!! I like how torturous that could be at times!!!#DAV Posting
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@gabichanwrites’ recent reread comment single-handedly making me open up the Floriography document again
#bam writes#floriography#not to put you on blast queen I just love your comments#needed you to know#also yes this is a ‘I’m working on the next chapter’ post#have been for like 10 months but here we are#nearly had it done in January and then the brain went ‘hmmm… but what if we wrote it again instead’#so hopefully this is the final draft of this chapter#blooming#forgot to tag my own series lol#out here forcing myself not to rewatch season 3 yet#because if I do it’s all I’ll think about and I’ll never get this transition chapter finished
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you stop shaving as a woman and people just dont know what to call you anymore huh
#you ever get so annoyed that you draw ur irl self instead of your epic swag yass slay pretty sona#i didnt stop shaving for any statement btw it just drains me to do it & i havent been in the mood for months LMAO#i think i'm so used to the comfort of being surrounded by ppl presenting however they want and calling themselves whatever#sometimes i forget how. binary everything still is where i live#note that aint trans btw. i was afab & i dont fully identify as that currently but i have no problem being called a girl#and due to Health Reasons(tm) i get hairier than one would consider 'normal' for a woman (among other things)#(listen we all know gender is a nuanced spectrum but im not in the mood to talk about it in the tags of my own blog lol)#that + short + fat + voice breaks sometimes + mostly wears 'gender neutral' clothing. been mistaken for a prebuscent guy sometimes#(i say 'gender neutral' but its just regular ass baggy shirts and pants/jeans. 💥)#and if y'know me personally youre prolly reading this like 'what'. and yeah thats my reality sometimes LMAO#and im spanish so things are Extra gendered >8'D#i dont even bother explainin my gender to family its just not worth it so i take the she/her and move on#usually i dont talk about these irl things bc whatever but it's starting to irritate me lol#like. do i have to fuckin shave just to not be misgendered. fuckin christ dude#i need to get my yearly haircut btw. i dont like long hair on myself. its getting warm & it makes me sweat i hate it 🧍♂️
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Dude, wasn’t your wedding in like November? How was it? How are tax benefits?
ya in september!!!! we showed up underdressed, amused the lady who officiated us with our speedrun strats, then went to kbbq after which was the highlight of the day imo lol
the tax benefits are insane tho they shake out to an extra 500eu a month which is literally the only thing allowing me to focus on rsi recovery now ;w;;;;;
#askbox#anonbox#this system is insane it should not exist. signing a piece of paper literally turned around our financial situation to such a fucking degre#after having lived my whole life on the poverty line though like. i sure as hell am taking it lol#ridiculous to think i only got my shitty factory job (that ruined my wrist) bc i fell out of family health insurance#and we were joking abt marriage then just for the combined healthcare (which saves another 200eu. btw) LIKE IF WE HAD DONE IT THEN FR#none of this had to happen lol instead i blew up my arm for money i cld have been getting for free via State Sanctioned Relationship#i rly rly cannot wrap my head around it#i was making like 500eu a month on average. minus the 200eu health care. working a part time student job paid LESS than getting married#and not working at all. fucking insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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yknow something i didnt realize while with them was how little i wanted to vent or open up because they made me feel guilty about it or made it about themself every time i did (even if they didnt mean to, they still did)
and how much im more willing to randomly vent to my friends now and admit im not doing okay or hell, *even tell my boyfriend when i have issues in the relationship*
hindsight is 20/20 for sure, but it's crazy how much has changed in the timespan of a little over half a year just because one person left my life permanently.
it should not have been normalized for me to be scared of telling my partner things.
#like im also more open about liking neopronouns and such#or media that my friends might not also like#or CHARACTERS or HEADCANONS they might not also like#hell ive given some characters headcanons i had before but didnt feel safe expressing because they would get angry if i deviated from their#so anyways gay lloyd from ninjago <3#lesbian barb from trolls <3#and bicurious daniel from little hope <3#im sure theres more i cant think of rn lol#i can also fully admit i like ships like climbing class now lollll#idk im rambling :P but its amazing that i can be open with my friends and boyfriend now about the things i like#and they actually wanna listen to me talk about it and dont give me one word responses or shut down the convo?#wow????#do yall understand how amazing it was to have 💙 start getting into my interests just because i went “i really like this thing”#without having to be bribed or begged to#like. wtf!!!#ive never had that before!!!#or the fact he's actively working with me towards a future where we can live together and we're working out the details?#instead of just letting shit sit around for months without looking at it?#and im not the only one saving up towards living together???#and i dont have to feel guilty about the way i feel towards things! like my polyamory!#wraow.... i love my friends and boyfriend actually#🦝#🌱 vents#vent#hey 🦝 i think you abandoning me was the best thing you ever did for me xoxo
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i opened my hinge for a quick second today and some girl sent me a message diagnosing me w autism 😭😭😭
#like that was her opening line and girl.............#i am not autistic btw LOL#but then i went to book club after missing it for a few months#and i kept wanting to turn around n go home instead but i made myself go#bc i was like. maybe you'll meet someone there.#and i did kind of meet someone!!!!!!!!! we vibed and talked for a while after#but i didn't get her number boooooo. but she asked me if i'll be back next month soooooooo thats a good sign right??#she is so so hot and smart guyssssssss cant believe i have to wait a month to see her#also i got a free t shirt and keychain and a free event that i can go to#thats hosted by the nonprofit my book club is hosted by#wahooooooo#WAITTTT FML im missing the next book club due to being in toronto
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they should pwha hold on my thought was interrupted by me remembering something i have to finish the thought though as context for the second thing.
anyway they should put mohg lord of blood in project sekai, the song not the dude, because i like the song, and i like rhythm games, and thats my rhythm game of choice rn.
but anyway this was interrupted by me remembering i had a dream at some point where there was a love live x elden ring crossover and i was happy because nico got the mohg card and theyre my faves from their respective things. thats all hope this information enriches ur life
#SIGHHH I MISS LOVE LIVE gameplay wise i liked it way more than proj sekai. ..i just started playing it cuz i wanted 2 do vocaloid songs lol#rapid tapping way more fun than all the sliding shit to me :(#and the swipe songs that love live Did have just felt more fun too 4 some reason. ..#i liked the layout more too. thats probably just cuz i play w/ thumbs instead of fingers tho#phones is handheld gaming im not putting it down on a flat surface and pecking at it like a bird !!!!!!!!!!!#also love live didnt give me a million pop ups trying 2 get me 2 do microtransactions#ok its not a million its like once a week and another one once a month but it pisses me off still#I Will Never Spend Money On A Gacha Game#*slams into llsif hq* we can revive your video game. have you ever heard of elden ring#me not spending money on gacha games would b counterintuitive 2 me trying 2 revive llsif but thats not important#scoobposting#this is a lot of words huh. at first glance u might think its a post of importance. well it is lets revive llsif together#also realistically yohane would get the mohg card. shes my second fave so i could accept that
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Okay, so a couple of summers back both my PS4 controllers started getting the ever annoying stick drift (my silver on the left stick and blue on the right hilariously enough). And while I got a new controller in to replace it as a bday present, I never actually tossed either of them. Mostly because they were still usable as back ups in certain games. Like my blue was awful in any game that used camera controls, but in a game or platformer like crash it worked just fine, while the other was fine in any 3d game but in a 2d style then movement was almost impossible (like I still remember jumping over a gap only to lose my jump momentum half way through and falling to my death).
But that brings me to today. In my travels of trying to fix my PS2 controller hilariously enough, I found out that you can actually buy replacement joystick pieces and just replace them yourselves. Assuming you have a soldering gun and equipment of course.
So I got a couple of those parts and ordered a little soldering kit online, and I'm all ready to try and see i can't get my controllers working back at 100% again.
Wish me luck!
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#im so excited you have no idea#in a high school computer class we had a small unit on soldering and i got to build a motherboard#and while its admittedly been like almost 15 years since then i loved that section so much#ive been wanting to do some raspberry pi stuff for a while#thought it would be fun#so this is just a great excuse to get soldering stuff and giving it a go!#if it doesnt work than im not too worried cause i have a fully usable controller anyways and i havent touched these ones in months#but if it does than instead of spending like $70 on a new controller it only cost me $16 to buy the two parts that i needed#later this afternoon my lens replacement for my ps2 should be arriving as well#though that will be a much easier install#just gotta desolder a piece on the new part than screw it in place lol#god i love fixing stuff like this on my own though#always makes me feel smart when all it takes to fix somethig is just taking it apart and cleaning a piece
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ok I actually did manage to come out ahead on money in july & aug but only bc I cleverly timed my phone upgrade with a 3-paycheck month lol
#interestingly i came out under budget on food bc I've been good about cooking#but i. dont wanna talk about how much i spent on electrolytes lol#well i accidentally ordered a 64pk of one flavor instead of a 16pk. so at least I'll be well stocked for a while#it's actually kind of calming looking at the pile and being like no matter what happens i will have strawberry liv available#but I'm actually kind of relieved#all my stupid ebay purchases!!;#i knew we were getting bonuses + 3 paycheck month in aug#but i worried i was miscalculating and overspending#apparently I judged it pretty well!!!
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anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶♂️
#theres a guy at work whos incredibly annoying for it but tbh hes bad at his job in general anyway n everyones annoyed at him all the time#so at least i get some solidarity from my other coworkers (who are generally rly accommodating of my deafness)#i dunno how he hasnt got the memo ive explained im deaf so he needs to face me n make sure he has my attention n enunciate multiple times#but nope still not getting thru to him! so half the time if he starts mumbling i just pointedly ignore him until he either speaks more#clearly or goes away lmao#and same with a friend of a friend im sure hes a nice guy and everyone else seems to like him n hes in our main discord server so i cant#avoid him as easily and ive been so tolerant of it but hes worn thru my patience entirely and idc abt trying to be nice anymore#if he comes on call and starts mumbling and sidelining me from the conversation i just put him on mute im not dealing with that anymore#i dont fucking care if its petty and rude to do that. im tired of trying to understand him and dealing with how left out he makes me feel#i hope he picks up on the hostility n feels unwanted so maybe then he'll understand what its like for me and fix his behaviour 👍#bc i have no other way of communicating that with him anymore. since I CANT FUCKING HEAR HIM!!!!!#he also has a lot of other annoying behaviour which is fine but this is my limit its so disrespectful and outside of my control#make space for my disability or go away forever#not sure if we could even be friends if he did change now bc hes soured my impression of him so much by this point.#sad! well theres other guys#im glad everyone ive met at climbing so far has been pretty good abt it. really not that hard to do!#anyway rant over lol. at least the guy at work is only on a temp contract so only have to deal w him for a few more months#unfortunately since the rest of that group is friends w this other guy he'll prolly be around longer. but oh well lmao#just crossing my fingers he'll drift away n never open discord again so ill never have to deal w his shitty crackly mic mumbling#or maybe he'll stop fucking calling from whatever wind tunnel hes in and properly join in on our movie nights instead!!!!!#it is sad bc i think he has similar music taste to me. there are def some things we have in common that could form a basis for friendship#but hes gone n ruined it innit#aaaanyway oops started complaining again... the bitch grind never ends#im gonna shower n go back to elden ringing it.... fare thee well#.diaries
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