#inspired by trolls 1 somehow

[yipyapcoyote]

[fandom-which-one]

I need people to write so many fics for Trolls 3.

My friends went and saw it and immediately were like " we need these as fics and hope someone finds inspiration to write some based off of these:

1. Branch is the one captured (alternative he somehow sacrifices himself to swap with it save Floyd)

2. All the drama lowdown of the bros finding out and actually reacting to the fact that Grandma died and they left their baby bro for over 2p years essentially alone, even if they were not aware that he was alone.

2B. Plus the fact that because of the trauma he spent so much of his life gray and while he has more color again he still has some permanent effects from that ex: while not black his hair is still a darker blue and his skin isn't as pigmented blue as it was when he was a kid.

3. Really just any addressing of Branches fear of abandonment (like when they are singing as (Sp)Bruce's restaurant he's singing to them the lines of the song "you're all I ever wanted ...ect")

4. Any situation where they came looking for him sooner.

5. This is a bit more out there but I'm including in the list for my friend, "Somehow Branch gets turned into a kid again, maybe without full memory but enough that they have to build trust with him again because the fear of abandonment is still there (poppy can just be made a friend in this for slight au purposes if regressed Branch is permanent)

6 literally just all the Branch whump and hurt/comfort fics people wanna give.

Once again please feel free to use these as prompts if you want or as inspiration for fics.

[agatharkn3ss]

Spoilers + Teen origins story theory

Ok, so inspired by the cool find from @yourlocalkatiesimp I went and looked at the cast listing now... And look who's there!

Billy Kaplan parents! As if we needed even more evidence that Teen is Wiccan. Is this Marvel trolling or have they somehow missed it? No way they wouldn't expect the fans to pick up on it (especially that Maria even appeared at the AAA premiere event)

So I heard this popular, neat theory that I really like (sorry, can't remember where I saw it). We know that in the comics Billy Maximoff soul reincarnates into Billy Kaplan. But how?

So someone suggested that it might be to do with the car crash that Agnes investigated in episode 1. So could it be that the Kaplan family was in that crash?

We hear there was blood on the back seat and both front air bags were deployed. So the parents sat at the front and might have survived but be in a coma as a result (Teen says how he's 100% sure his parents were asleep when they started the Road).

Billy Kaplan was sat in the back and died... but then Billy Maximoff soul reincarnated into him? This could be hinted in Agatha's end credits where Joe Locke's name appears against a background that says "Near death in Westview".

This would also explain why Agatha suddenly got into the "true crime" bug as Agnes - Herb said it's only been a few days.

What doesn't make sense to me is the timeline. If the crash was really only a few days ago, how could Billy find out so quickly all there is about the witches? Agnes says the crash happened one hour before the time of death of the 'victim' in the woods. But the 'real' Wanda dies in November 2024 and Agatha's present day is 2026 (3 years after the Hex). So the crash could've happened some time ago - maybe somewhere in between the Hex and Wanda's death, but Billy wasn't ready until recently?

Edit: I've realised there actually is a date below the "Near death in Westview" that states 14th December 2023

Or his soul drifted in the ether for so long that he "magically" acquired the knowledge?

Either way, I think it was him that must've triggered Agatha's "O'Connor"... So why now?

And what does Rio have to do with this? Did she help with the reincarnation as Lady Death? Is that what is meant by "Near Death"???

Also, is Teen's boyf involved? And who the hell is "Eastview"? Mephisto?

[vidjausers-fable]

Pen Pals(Veneer X OC)Chapter 1

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Oh my god, I fell in love with Veneer and Velvet the moment I heard their silly little quotes and songs. I also have fun drawing them!? Anyway, this story is completely for fun, though it’s been a while since I’ve last written a fanfiction. Nothing is beta read in this chapter, so be kind if pointing out mistakes. Below is something I drew specifically for this fiction (though obviously it was inspired by the Barbie and Ken meme)

Also located on Wattpad and AO3. Chapter 2 and 3 are already located there, but soon will be here as well.

Once they had been arrested, Veneer and Velvet were booked and thrown into prison immediately. Well, it was more of a correctional facility if anything. A place where they wanted to prepare young adults who had made stupid mistakes for the outside world. Velvet didn’t take the change well but Veneer made no complaints, believing that it was the right thing to do because of the crimes they had committed. All those Trolls they had hurt…It weighed on him more than it did his sister. Velvet received a harsher sentence compared to her brother. Veneer’s was smaller because his heartfelt confession helped save the Trolls from his sister and expose their scam right away. 

However, the two shared a cell in the correctional facility due to a bit of a crowding issue. Their rooms were split in two, one side for Veneer and the other for Velvet. It wasn’t the ideal living situation, but Velvet was the only one complaining about it. 

The siblings looked completely different than what they used to. With no access to makeup in the facility, their faces were blank and deprived of any makeup and creams, and both adored the orange jumpsuits that read “Mount Rageous Correctional Facility” on the back. Velvet complained about her looks and image on the daily, as if it had not already been diminished. 

Veneer sat at his desk with one of the books checked out from the Library, trying to somehow read and drown out the voice of his sister whining in the background. It was hard to do both at the same time so he closed the book with a loud sigh, “What is it this time, Vel?” he asked and spun around in his chair to look at his sister. 

Velvet was half laying on the bed, her knees hanging over the edge. She threw her hands up and around dramatically as she spoke, “This isn’t fair! They took away another hour of my rec time from me just because I wanted an extra five minutes to eat. Didn’t I tell them I’m a slow eater?” She kicked her feet around as if she were a child having a tantrum.

Veneer leaned against his palm, unimpressed. As always. “And how did you ask for this extra five minutes?”

His sister glared. Did he Really ask her that as if she had done something wrong? “I asked, like a normal person! DUH!” she retorted sarcastically, throwing her hands up. 

Veneer rolled his eyes. He seriously doubted that, but he wouldn’t say that out loud. “Maybe…just maybe Vel, you should ask a bit nicer,” he suggested and added before she could interrupt, “Unfortunately, the people here don’t like to deal with our attitudes.”

“Me? An attitude! As if! This place is worse than a shoe store with no branding,” she groaned. “And a restaurant without lobster.”

Veneer gave up talking to his sister and turned back toward his desk. There was no use arguing with Velvet. She was an entitled brat. She always tried to get the last word in, and it was impossible to point out her mistakes, or her flaws. In her eyes, she was flawless and never did wrong, and only did right. He’d dealt with that entitled attitude his whole life, and that attitude was the reason that he was in the correctional facility right now. It was honestly pathetic, but there was nothing that he could do about it except not give in to her tantrums and ignore them when they arose. Of course, it was easier said than done. She practically threw a rich snobby princess tantrum every day. “Why don’t you back me up anymore, like you used to?” Velvet abruptly sneered. Veneer could already see her expression without turning back around.  

“Veneer, don’t ignore me.”

Over time, Veneer had found ways to stand up for himself. It was easier when they weren’t next to each other, but also because he was over her and her dramatic antics. 

“Because.” Veneer closed the book he was trying to read, “It’s your fault we got into this whole situation in the first place.” He had to resist the urge to turn around and throw the book directly at her head.

“You didn’t exactly stop me when I kidnapped the Troll.”

“Because I couldn’t Velvet!” He argued, finally turning to her, “You took the Troll without even telling me at first. You put him in a diamond perfume bottle without a word. I knew it was suspicious when I suddenly caught you singing one day, or remotely have any talent. I bet if I didn’t walk in on you in your room that day with the Troll, that you would have kept all of that stolen talent yourself and left me at home with our parents, which by the way, I CARE about the fact that they disowned us. They get death threats because we scammed everyone, and can’t practice their dentistry anymore. They sold their business to pay off our debts, and you think they hate us? I know you hated them, but do you honestly think that they deserved all of that?” The entire ramble left him in a single mouthful it felt, leaving his sister appalled. He had so much to say to her that his words tumbled out almost all at once.

Velvet gasped, her jaw wide open and a hand over her heart, as if he tried to strike it. “They deserved it, Veneer, for the way they treated us growing up! They were nobodies and didn’t give us anything.”

“How did they treat us, Vel?! They literally did nothing wrong our entire lives! We had everything we wanted! You got a car for your sixteenth birthday and you pawned it off to buy a stupid golden ring! You don’t even have it anymore, you threw it down the drain when we became total frauds and got more money, which you used to buy worthless junk. Our parents are saints compared to how you talk about them.”

“Are you saying this is all my fault?”

“It is, Vel. It’s your fault we’re in here because of you. And I won’t change my mind about that.” He turned his back to her once again. Ever since they had been arrested, it had been nothing but anger between the siblings, bubbling over the tea kettle. Veneer swore that his steam was running out fast around her. 

“It’s your fault too! You used the Troll as much as I did!”

Veneer ignored her. 

“Veneer, you can’t throw all the blame at me!”

Veneer ignored her again, at least until he heard her stand up and stomp toward him. Right as he flipped around, she grabbed the front of his orange jumpsuit and began to shake him. She bared her teeth in anger at him, shaking him until his neck popped, “You can’t throw all the blame on me, Veneer! That’s just not fair. You used the Trolls just as much as me, so you’re not a perfect saint. Neither were our parents. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“What do you mean?!”

Metal clanged on metal and the siblings turned around to face the door of the cell. One of the Correctional Guards stood at the door, his baton against the cell bars, clinging back and forth until he had their attention. He glared at the two, though mostly at Velvet—the universal trouble maker. “Behave yourself Velvet, and stop arguing. That or I can extend your banishment from the rec room to the whole week. You wouldn’t want that would you?”

Velvet, still holding onto her brother’s shirt, glared at the officer, debating in her head if this was still worth it. If fighting her brother was worth the only freedom that they got in that joint. The two shared a long eye contact battle before she gave in, letting her brother go after shoving him back into the chair, and returned to her bed. “Whatever,” she snapped before rolling onto her side with her back facing the two. 

Veneer adjusted his shirt before looking at the guard, a bit frazzled and his heart racing. Even she got to him sometimes. “Whew…” Saved by the guard.

The guard watched Velvet and when he felt as though she was calm enough, looked to Veneer, the one he really wanted to talk to. He took out his keys from his side pocket and the clanging of the metal made the two perk up. “Veneer, your counselor wants to see you now.”

Velvet immediately interrupted, sitting up, “What about mine? Doesn’t she want to see me?”

“She would, if you would stop destroying her office at every appointment.” He stopped fiddling with the keys and glared at the sister, waiting for her to settle down again. He looked to Veneer and waited for him to approach the bars, as part of the protocol for entering and leaving the cells. 

“What for?” Veneer asked, approaching the cell door. “It’s not time for my appointment, is it? I don’t think it would be…” He sounded panicked. 

The guard opened the door. Veneer was required to step out and press his back to the wall with his arms out and palms faced down. Veneer was a low threat so only one guard was needed, though at some point Velvet needed four. He quickly locked the door because as expected, Velvet threw herself against the door and grabbed the bars in rage and growled. She even reached down to try and swipe the keys as they were shoved back into a secure pocket. The guard scoffed in her face and turned to Veneer, patting him down. The guard took his shoulder and pulled him in front of him, letting him walk where he could see him. 

Patting Veneer’s shoulder, he chuckled, “We really need to get you your own cell, buddy boy. Your sister gives me an ulcer everytime I open her cage. She’s like a dog who’s had everything handed to him, but still darts out the damn door whenever it opens.”

Veneer chuckled nervously, “Yeah…Uh, do you know why my counselor wants to see me? I didn’t do anything bad, did I?” He tried not to panic or ruminate like he used to. Besides, nothing he did was as bad as his sister…Though he honestly still felt as though he was a kid again, being sent to the principal's office, just multiplied by ten and with more consequences.

“I dunno, they don’t tell me anything. She didn’t seem mad, if that makes you feel any better.”

“I think it does.”

Veneer fidgeted his hands on the walk to his counselor’s office, guided by the guard. The guard opened the door and only shut it once Veneer sat across from his counselor. His counselor was a middle-aged blonde Mount Rageous person. She was prim and proper, and despite her strict posture and formalities of speech, she was a caring woman with bright blonde hair and honey amber eyes. Her office space matched the same atmosphere of her person. Everything was neatly arranged. There was a funky splash of red paint on the wall, pictures of cute animals under cheesy motivational quotes. There were also nick nacks scattered across the room. One of them was one of those solar powered bobble heads dancing along to no beat, sitting across from Veneer with a playful catty smile.

Linda greeted him with a warm smile. Veneer was still getting used to having someone like Linda to talk to. She always listened and never interrupted him, like his sister did. 

“Dr. Graham…Uh, why am I here?” he asked and the emotions immediately flooded in, trapped within from where he had been dealing with his sister all day. He sunk down into his chair, trying to hide, “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

Linda gasped and reached across the table. She knew that Veneer wasn’t a touchy-feely person, so she touched the desk right in front of him instead. “No, no, no, dear! Actually, I have something exciting to share with you.” She waited for Veneer to slide back up into his chair and sit properly.

“What…is it?” Veneer asked hesitantly. He expectedly leaned forward.

Linda bounced, her own excitement showing as she pulled out a folder from her file cabinet. Everything was so perfectly organized that it took no time for her to find anything. “Since our system runs on good behavior, and you’ve been on your best behavior—might I say even better than those who have been here for years—we decided to give you a huge reward. Now, we don’t just give these away to every patient here!” Her hand was on a document, which she pushed across the desk then flipped it so it faced him. 

Before him was a blank tan file cabinet folder. 

Veneer’s eyebrow raised. “What’s in that?”

“You won’t know until you open it. Go on!” She pulled her hands back and clapped as Veneer reached for the folder. He picked it up and opened it to the first page. He read it and frowned. 

Before he could get words out, Linda cheered and clapped her hands some more, “It’s our Pen Pal Program! We like to give these out to our top most behaved patients here. We were quite surprised to see how well you turned out, and how quick and well mannered you were, so don’t take this reward lightly!” She said and took the document back, flipping through the pages, explaining every single one of them until Veneer’s eyes couldn’t keep up with his brain. 

“Wait, wait…So I earned this?” he asked and put his hands on the papers, taking them when Linda let go of them. “What do I do with this? How does it work?”

“It’s easy!” Linda began to explain, “You fill out these forms and I scan and put it into the system. After a bit of Beep Booping on the keyboard, the system finds a pen pal that will be suitable for you! The system is surprisingly 95 percent accurate. When a Pen Pal is assigned to you, you receive their first letter and then write a response to them. After that, you basically send letters back and forth to each other. It’s very old school and the only part that technically plays a role is to keep your documents up to hand and sort out who your Pen Pal is!” 

Veneer was distracted by the exaggerated hand gestures Linda made as she talked. He shrugged it off and began to flip through the papers, looking at them carefully to make a decision. Having someone new and different to talk to sounded…different.

“If you fill this out right now while I still have you in my office, I should get everything uploaded and submitted within a couple hours.” Her fingers clacked loudly against the keyboard. Then she looked to Veneer and gave him one of her trusting, and warm smiles. “Is that something you’re interested in, Veneer?”

After looking through the last of the papers, Veneer took a second to think it over in his head. It would be nice to have conversations with someone from the outside world, considering he no longer had his parents. For once, he wouldn’t have a conversation centered around how did you get here? How did you get busted? Best of all, he could have someone to communicate with that wasn’t his sister. That was the icing on the cake. That’s what stood out to him the most. 

Placing the papers back down on the desk, he looked to Linda with a determined expression. He held out a hand to her, brows knitting together. “Pen, please.”

“That’s it! YAY!” Linda took out a pen from the pen box that was organized by type of pen, colors, and probably even ink levels. Veneer took the pen and began to read everything meticulously and filled out blanks while he glanced over the paper. Linda was quiet, but played calming and relaxing music that she knew Veneer liked to help him focus. 

The paperwork didn’t take long, and he finished it in less than thirty minutes. “Can you look it over and make sure I didn’t forget anything?” he asked, sounding timid as he handed the papers over. 

Linda took the papers and flicked through the pages at lightning speed. A smile crossed her lips. “It’s perfect, I’ll get everything ready for you and you should get your Pen Pal within a week or two.” She looked at the watch on her wrist. “Woo, look at the time. You have to get back to the cell for quiet time. Your favorite time!” She clasped her hands together. “Veneer, I’m so proud of the growth you’ve gone through these past months. You must have been eager for change before you walked through our doors.”

Veneer blushed at the compliments and rubbed the back of his neck. She wasn’t necessarily wrong. “I’m not used to all these compliments…I don’t think I deserve all this praise.”

Linda shook her head and placed her hand back on Veneer’s spot on the desk, giving him a soft and understanding smile. “Just because your sister made you fight for affections, and do terrible things, doesn’t mean you’re less deserving of love. Remember what we talked about, okay?” She leaned back in her chair. “Also, Veneer?”

“Yeah?”

“I received your report for transferring rooms and approved it,” she answered, watching as Veneer became brighter every second. “We just have to wait for a room to become available, alright? You’re next on the list, I promise.” She nodded her head. 

Veneer was disappointed knowing that he had to wait a bit longer, but nonetheless was happy that there was at least one person fighting for him. He nodded his head, determined before standing. “Thank you, Dr. Graham. For everything.” He felt appreciative of the woman, who had gone out of his way to help him become a better person.

A different guard stood outside when Veneer came out of the room, and nodded to the male. Walking in front of him again, he walked all the way back to his room. He felt an anxious pit in his stomach, knowing his sister was there waiting for him and already heard her voice hounding him to tell her everything he discussed with Linda, as she always did. And he didn’t want to do that. Sure enough, his sister was waiting for him with her hands on the bars, and once again the guards had to fight simply to keep Velvet within her cell. It was the same thing everyday, and maybe this Pen Pal program would help change things.  

Veneer was tired of this life. 

[saturdaynightspecialpresentation]

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

I finally finished this one after stopping in disgust for a long time, and it turns out, no, it doesn't get better towards the end.

Boy, this movie is like, the platonic ideal of the C grade. It does everything just exactly well enough that you have to admit that it's passable, and no better.

Ever.

For pretty much the whole movie.

Like imagine a thermometer with a line labelled "Passable" and the mercury is exactly level with that line and you whip out an electron microscope and zoom in and the mercury isn't even a single nanometer above or below the line.

I really thought I had calibrated my expectations fully, I've watched and enjoyed animated movies that I would describe as middle of the road. I watched Trolls World Tour and My Little Pony: The Movie and The Bad Guys and had a good time with all of them despite the fact that they were far from being masterpieces.

But most mediocre movies come in sort of waves, dipping beneath the level of passable at times but then occasionally cresting above the passable line to become, in fits and starts, better than passable. Just the sheer joy of human creativity should carry most movies along to moments like that but The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a glass flat pond.

It's as though some Maxwell's Demon of Mediocrity went through it and made sure that not one single atom more than it needed to be exactly passible ever got through.

As somebody who likes movies and creativity it somehow manages to be less then the sum of its parts because watching it you see all these moments where the movie is a boulder balanced on this knife edge of possibility and it would only take the tiniest whisp of angel's breath to push it past passable into "Actually pretty good" but the angels hold their breath and the boulder remains still.

It's genuinely infuriating, because you constantly think that surely the next scene will have a single clever joke or little moment that you could latch onto and say, "For those two seconds it was more than just passable" and it never comes.

This eventually inspires a kind of awe, that any corporation could so efficiently and exactly suck all the soul and unpredictability out of a movie while still leaving the exact minimum level of quality needed to make $1 Billion at the box office.

As a movie though I would call it passable.

Rating: A uniform quantity of argon gas at room temperature.

[saintmeghanmarkle]

A Year in Review: All the times Meghan Markle been publicly called out in 2023. Highlights and favorite #MarkleMoment from last year? 📌Part 1 of 2

These are her humiliating moments over past year that she’s been publicly called out for in some way. All with proof, all archived from media reports around the world. Get cozy, save this post, and as always, appreciate the upvotes so it doesn't get targeted for downvotes! Posting it now as many of us will be celebrating Christmas with our loved ones. Although we are a diverse bunch, this unites us all :)

Here’s some from 2022 to inspire you:

Harry and Megan of “overseas”

the Funeral candle

no Jubilee balcony

voetsek Megan

I love the part where…(YouTube comments on their Netflix trailer)

Marriott Meg

12% Rotten Tomatoes rating for Netflix flopumentary, with her cutesy (mocking) curtesy

What was your favourite from 2023?

Air New Zealand’s epic trolling tweet re Sussex Class (a truly underrated gem). Proves Meg never bought Thomas Markle his flights for the wedding, as Harry claimed in Spare. https://archive.ph/wip/chjhf

'Live to Lead' quietly dumped on Netflix New Year’s Day. Jacinda Arden's PMO puts out a statement that when she filmed it years earlier it wasn’t affiliated with Harry and Meghan. https://archive.ph/DiDzT

South Park, Worldwide Privacy Tour episode.https://archive.ph/Sqc99

Frogmore no more. KCIII evicts Harry and Meg from Frogmore. Toad Abode eviction, just leave your spare keys on the bench.https://archive.ph/PeCPQ

9 edits on a Telegraph article about Harry and Meg's 'appalling treatment' from the Royal family. https://archive.ph/wip/suU7g

Chris Rock blasts their victimhood (on Netflix special, extra irony). Points out all families speculate on what the baby will look like. https://archive.ph/3NdgW

The underrated British Vogue moment, where they posted a pic of the best wedding veils of all time of Meghan, intentionally on William and Catherine’s anniversary. The public response was epic. They were not having it. Trolled by posting pics of Catherine in her veil. https://twitter.com/BritishVogue/status/1652309496482394116

Coronation weekend: Montecito Meg will never appear in that historical record. Claims a 4 years olds birthday is more important (hot tip: kids are portable. Just like Lili was for her birthday during the Queens Jubilee). Weak PR attempt about lemon cake with lemons from her tree, and somehow Harry defying the laws of physics and time to make it back in time for Archie’s alleged party. Close second: her urban safari hike PR pap walk the next day. Honourable mention: Anne’s feather. https://archive.ph/m0fcH https://archive.ph/9BsWW https://archive.ph/7UNDp

Queen of Hertz; flees via high speed “near catastrophic car chase” papped taxi “chase” that the taxi driver, Backgrid, and NYPD deny. 4 paps, with 1 on a bike. For 2.5 hours. Yes, a bike. https://archive.ph/EBmZ9

Spotify, bye-bye to “f$&@ing grifters”. https://archive.ph/OWTI2

Publicly manifesting Duchess of Dior? Dior source is “nonplussed as to how the story came about.” Dior firmly stares - No Deal! Update: a few months later, Princess Maria Olympia of Greece has a Dior and Aquazura contract. Repeats the process with Cartier page six article Aug 6th. Nothing. Camilla wears Dior a few days later. https://archive.ph/wip/k0hiA

Netflix manifesting: rom coms, Bad Manners feminist Miss Havisham, Harry saves Africa (sarcasm on it not being a country), Meg to offer advice of safe birthing practices, buying the rights to a Princess who dies in a car crash https://archive.ph/wip/W9xQg https://archive.ph/wip/8COXT https://archive.ph/JDspD

“Turns out Meghan Markle was not a great audio talent, or necessarily any kind of talent” - United Talent Agency CEO Jeremy Zimmer. https://archive.ph/wip/4TnM6

Taylor Swift turned down Archetypes Spotify appearance. https://archive.ph/VjC07

No Emmy nomination for Harry and Meghan, "devastated". Scoreboard: Meg = 0 nominations. Thomas Markle = 2 Emmy wins. https://archive.ph/wip/m3PQS

UnSussexful trends on Twitter after Harry and Meg blame their lack of success on "bad luck."https://archive.ph/CauG3

Report surfaces that Sussexes tried to bum a ride on Air Force One following QEII’s funeral. Access denied. Also tried to tie Jill Biden’s lemon dress the day after the Oprah interview to Meg as a sign of support. Meg sends Jill a basket of lemons. https://archive.ph/ZofTQ

Celeb “friends” bail. Public reports the Beckhams aren’t friends after no invite to Brooklyn’s wedding, no celeb studded InterMiami game. Serena holds a baby shower, no Meg to be found.https://archive.ph/k02N8 https://archive.ph/6rfSO

No birthday wishes from the Royals. Confirms no Balmoral for the one year anniversary of the Queen’s death, despite the Sussexes confirming they will be in Germany the day after for Invictus.https://archive.ph/0IAaO

Sussexes claim to be friends with John Travolta! And he noped that one in record time.https://archive.ph/dPjLW

Meg attempt to convince everyone she was at the Taylor Swift concert in LA while Harry is in Japan/Singapore but no pics exist. Despite many actual celebs having pics there. Not a single one. Outside of the one helpfully provided to Page Six that’s a cropped version of her pink linen suit from the Laker’s game, Harry cropped out. Later, the pic is updated with Harry back in it after it's pointed out on this sub. https://archive.ph/DhvlY

Meg dresses in beige coat, scarf, in August. In California. Attempts to merch them, including the Nucalm (aka sticker) on her wrist, with only that cuff of the coat helpfully rolled up to show it off better. Note she has not managed to elude the pap on her “casual walk”, yet there is nary a pic from the Swift concert. Skills. Despite posting it on their own Insta with a promo code, one day later NuCalm denies that they are affiliated with Meg. Ouch. https://archive.ph/MVGfP

A) Meg and Harry attend Beyoncé to deflect for on the Heart of Invictus flop and rumours their marriage is in trouble. Harry manages to make Beyoncé with Meg look like he's a sulking toddler. B) Meg attempts to change the SEO results and attends Beyoncé a second night in a row, takes pics with Kerri Washington and Kelly Rowland. Kerri Washington crops Meg OUT of the pic on her Instagram.https://archive.ph/As4RZ https://archive.ph/wip/NOL8m

Meg’s Backgrid planned pap, inside the restaurant, at In N Out. Allegedly buying milkshakes for a 2 yr old and 4 yr old an hour away. Which is why she's 'late' to Invictus. (Still think this was likely her assistant who hopped out of the car, went inside to take the pic, and then met her after the drive through, and they sold the pic via Backgrid.) https://archive.ph/wip/bvgjX

post link: A Year in Review: All the times Meghan Markle been publicly called out in 2023. Highlights and favorite #MarkleMoment from last year? : SaintMeghanMarkle (reddit.com)

author: somespeculation

submitted: December 17, 2023 at 02:25PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[k2ntwo]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

A bunch of writers that I follow have already been tagged and responded @helloliriels @khorazir @7-percent @discordantwords @totallysilvergirl to name just a few. Now I have a few new things to read that I somehow missed the first time around as well as a bunch of old favorites to go and re-read. So much good fic is out there by so many talented writers!

In the spirit of adding to folk’s ever growing MFL list I’ll just pile onto the bandwagon with my answers as well.

 1.  How many works to you have on AO3?

56 although there are several collections of snippets that technically could be counted separately. On AO3 I'm KtwoNtwo.

2.  What’s your total AO3 word count?

496,860

3.  What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily Sherlock Holmes (most all iterations from ACD to Sherlock) and James Bond.  However, I dabble in a good number of other fandoms upon occasion.

4.  What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Metamorphosis

Conversations from Q-Branch

50 Reasons (The Q-Branch Edition)

A Rare Breed

Brothers Three

5.  Do you respond to comments?

Yes, even if its just a “I’m glad you liked it.”  The only ones I don’t respond to are the generic solicitations to join some random contest or fic publishing website.  Those get blocked and reported.

6.  What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, I don’t really write major angst but The Four Riders has got a bit as does the poem Gun in the Drawer though they both end on a hopeful note.

7.  What’s the Fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings but probably A Toast to the Science of Deduction resolves the happiest of the lot.

8.  Do you get hate on fics.

Nope.  Only got one anonymous troll alleging trademark infringement due to a title.  I fired back a factual rebuttal: basically "there is no book by that name by that author, there is no lawyer by that name, you didn’t provide contact information and btw trademark doesn’t work the way you allege" then added a set of quotation marks to the title.  Never heard anything more about it.

9.  Do you write smut?

I have but I’m not terribly good at it.  Most of the time the characters look at me then politely, or not so politely, shut the bedroom door in my face.

10.  Do you write crossovers?

Oh God Yes!  Technically I think I write fusions, where both fandoms end up in the same universe, as opposed to crossovers but I’m rather unclear on the difference between same so I tend to just call 'em crossovers and leave it at that. 

11.  Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I could find or prove.  I did have a couple of strange search results pop up with my use name and some fic titles attached but the websites all seem to be defunct now.

12.  Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

13.  Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14.  What’s your favorite ship?

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

15.  What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There’s a fic based on a song by Abney Park that I’ve got an outline for but it never seems to go anywhere.

16.  What are your writing strengths?

I can merge and/or crossover all sorts of different fandoms. 

17.  What are your writing weaknesses?

Typos and punctuation.  Being slightly dyslexic I can’t spot the former and I never know if I’m using commas correctly or not.

18.  Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I actively avoid doing so because I’d butcher it badly.

19.  First fandom you wrote for?

Emperor’s Edge by Lindsay Buroker.  I will admit that I wrote in my head, but never got around to put on paper, a number of Star Trek stories when I was significantly younger.

20.  Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I like all of them for different reasons.  The one I’m most proud of however is The Emerald Falls my Study in Emerald inspired ACD Fic.

I'd love to have some of the artists/podcasters respond to this with whatever modifications are necessary to fit the medium involved. Hours of podcast or number of artworks as opposed to number of words for example. @podfixx @bluebellofbakerstreet if you haven't responded to this thing already and I just missed it.

[oftlunarialmoon]

No Expiration Date on Fun!

originally posted to www.onlyfunthings.org on February 22, 2017

Ciao lovelies! Today I have an opinion piece for you about societal expectations, breaking the norm, and having fun!

This post was inspired by many anonymous comments criticizing my hobbies. Their main argument is that I am too old to enjoy things like dolls and Monster High.  So I’m here to explain my opinion on this matter! And, acknowledging that I am putting my opinion on the internet, I know that somehow, some anonymous person will find fault with it. So forewarning, I’m not answering any “trolling” comments, meaning if your only commentary is “lol ur lame for liking dolls” you’ll be respectfully ignored. Let’s get into it!

Part 1- Acknowledging Societal Influences

I’d like to begin by acknowledging the depth of influence that society has on the individual. To understand this, we must understand the different levels of society. Every country is a society, states inside that country are also societies within the main society, then counties and cities, etc, etc.. Where someone comes from will influence what societal norms they were affected by.

A common societal expectation in American society (and the one we’re focusing on in this piece) is the idea of what it means to be an adult, and that adults can’t enjoy “childish” things.

In the earlier days of American society, there were very rigid expectations and ideas on what it meant to be a bonafide adult. But around the 1960’s-1970’s, this rigid construct became a lot more flexible, and as time moved forward, different lifestyles became legitimized for the “American Adult.” Fun became not only allowed, but encouraged, and not just the boring kinds of fun either. The ideas for what was a legitimate recreational pursuit for the American Adult were wildly diverse and interesting.

But even though we have come so far in terms of these ideas, society has still maintained a talon grip on certain biases and ideals for “true adults.” The main  ideal that is still foolishly upheld by society that I want to open dialogue about today is this old-world notion that things marketed towards children can’t be enjoyed by adults.

Part 2- On a Personal Level

To bring things back to the point of the piece, let’s make it personal. I enjoy many “childish” hobbies. I unironically like Monster High, the show, movies, and merchandise. The message behind it is really great; celebrating diversity and being yourself, and being proud of your heritage. 

They even have an episode teaching viewers not to be patronizing towards people with disabilities.

Something like Monster High, with such a good message and great lessons, shouldn’t be limited to children! I think some adults need these lessons too.

Part 3- A Return to Generalization

To continue, let’s return to a general sense. There are many “Children-oriented” things that can be enjoyed by adults. One of these is the hobby of collecting dolls!

Despite how common it is for adults to collect dolls, there is still a social stigma attached to it. Many different media portray adult doll collectors as creepy, mentally unstable, possibly violent or predatory people. Just look at Criminal Minds, where they had an episode where a woman accidentally kills other women trying to make herself new dolls. (Not that I’m saying I dislike Criminal Minds, but they do perpetuate some mental illness and societal stereotypes.)

In reality, adult doll collectors are usually quite normal. Some may collect dolls for photography purposes, some are parents who collect dolls with their children, some repaint the doll’s faces to create beautiful works of art, some may just enjoy dolls.

Similarly, video game use by adults used to be heavily stigmatized, adults who played video games were seen as nerds, shut-ins, or losers: Now, there are many jobs in the video game industry, and a legitimate possibility of success via playing video games on platforms like YouTube or Twitch.

Thinking of changing standards brings me to…

Part 4- Breaking The Norms

To think about breaking a societal norm/expectation scares most people, and for good reasons. Society is very protective of its norms, and has developed methods to protect them, much like a mama bear with her cubs.

But we shouldn’t fear backlash from expressing ourselves! Society is crafted, controlled, and run by those within the society, meaning that WE, you reading this, your friends, your family, me: We have the power to change society, and we should.

What do you all think? Do you agree that adults shouldn’t be stigmatized for liking “childish” things? Do you think hobbies shouldn’t be labelled based on age? Let me know in the comments! I love hearing your opinions, or even if you have other ideas, links, articles, etc!

Thank you for reading!

 I have found that I really enjoy writing opinion pieces. Do you all enjoy reading them? Let me know!

[lyriquette]

Old RWBY AU description from the Frosen Steel server -troublemakers AU - 12/10/2020

AU of singer!Weiss having two incredibly troublesome fans, a graffiti-loving prankster/streamer and the leader of a troll army. She's tired.

----

The Nail:

lilac — 12/09/2020 11:57 PM

So let's say the nail here is that Ozma and Salem didn't get into a giant war. Somehow their kids lived, so all humanity really needed to deal with is the Grimm without any evolutions on Salem's part. They're still a pain in the arse because the Grimm's strength and numbers are always a little bit less than humanity's.

----

lilac — 12/10/2020 12:14 AM

And in that background, we have Ruby Rose, a streaming traceuse, engineer, and prankster who recently unlocked her semblance much to Atlas's dismay. The logo on her stream is a goose with the caption "i am here to cause problems"

----

lilac — 12/10/2020 12:25 AM

Weiss is a famous pop star in Atlas - still lives in the Schnee Mansion. The Schnee Dust Company no longer existed in its full form; due to the more peaceful world, Atlas put a foot down on monopolies a couple years after Jacques took control and tried making the company as inhumane as possible to increase his profit margins. So he's currently wearing an orange jumpsuit. The family overall is much happier in his absence. Willow divorced the man and rumors say the most eligible bachelorette has been meeting someone clandestinely, drinking together. Which also happens to be part of the reason why Ruby is currently at Atlas lol.

lilac — 12/10/2020 12:30 AM

------

Weiss unlocked her Glyphs but has been using it mostly as fairly expensive special effects. She's described as the fairy of atlas (or whatever name you all can come up with - I'm bad 8l ). Myrtenaster does exist as the girl is a fencer on the side.

As well known as Weiss is though, her musical career has stagnated. Too many artists and singers saturating the market, and she hasn't had any inspiration lately since she's always been insistent on making her own songs.

lilac — 12/10/2020 12:31 AM

-------

lilac — 12/10/2020 12:45 AM

Penny is still developed by Atlasian military but upon realizing Pietro has no intention on making a clearly real girl fight against the enemies of human, Ironwood was like "okay you're right." So Penny doesn't have any of the weaponry and was allowed to live like a child and go to school. She doesn't quite know what she wants to do (maybe lead a sentient robot uprising /j) after schooling, but her dads are open to her doing anything. Her hobby is music and programming, and she's been following the Angel of Atlas since her debut. She is Weiss's self-proclaimed number one fan but more importantly she's her friend. If there is bad stuff about her friend on the internet, she will drown people with a troll army. To Weiss's dismay, a lot of her fans just follow her for the flame wars Penny would cause on her behalf. Lol

Online Penny is super different from offline penny.

"When logic and reason no longer work, what do we do?!"

"Flame them to death!! "

----

lilac — 12/10/2020 1:20 AM

Ruby naturally is our walking, sometimes running, plot device. Wears a cape and a butterfly mask when she's actively streaming and has a button camera on her mask that doesn't work unless she physically wears the mask.

She learns about the Angel of Atlas and quickly falls in love with her work. Soon, super high places in Atlas are demonstrating large areas of grafiti depicting Weiss or a set of angel wings. Even the CCT tower gets the treatment.

Sooner or later, she declares herself the number one fan online which Penny takes offense to. Cue flame war between the two lol. Weiss had to log in to stop them from wrecking the local server with their war.

Essentially Ruby's chaos-loving followers versus Penny's troll army.

---

They eventually learn to not fight on Weiss's server. And instead find that holding flame wars on the sites and servers of Weiss's haters is a more productive thing to do. To the dismay of their leaders, eventually the trolls and chaos lovers become one happy family. The only thing that came out good was the chaos-lovers becoming Weiss fans…not for the music but because Weiss's name is now synonymous for troublesome.

"Thanks, guys."

"Sorry. orz."

"I'm sorry" (edited)

---------

One day, Ruby goes to Weiss online all "maybe ill meet you in the middle of the night. just pop in."

Weiss: "so you're telling me to hire more guards."

Ruby: "don't worry. They won't be able to separate us. I'll be there tonight. ^_~"

Weiss: asdsddrfffssd

Penny: !!!

So that night Penny grabs a simplified form of Floating Array and installs it. She picks up a cat mask and uses FR to move past buildings like Spiderman.

Destination: weiss's home to protect her virtue

------------------

lilac — 12/11/2020 12:56 AM

So back to the streamer / troll army AU:

Penny goes off to the Schnee Mansion and is spider-manning her way there while wearing a cat mask. mission? Protect her idol's virtue from the red-wearing weirdo.

She arrives. Ruby's already spray painting a set of wings on the mansion.

"I'll protect Weiss from your foul clutches!"

"Who are you again?"

"I am Weiss's number one fan!"

"No that's me! You're that troll girl! I'm going to beat you down."

"What did you say to me? I'll have you know that I graduated in top of my class in the Atlasian Military, and I've been in multiple search and destroy missions involving the Grimm, and I have 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in antipersonnel warfare, and I'm the top hand-to-hand specialist in all of Atlas. You are ju-"

Ruby interrupts her with a paint bomb.

Penny is rainbow-colored now.

Cue angry shrieking and then awkward fighting because neither girl has fought before. Meanwhile….

Whitley: hello police ? There's two crazy girls fighting on our lawn…and there's paint and glitter everywhere

Weiss wakes up from all the racket. She sees the paint and glitter all over the house and lawn, realizes who the two probably are, and angrily pulls out a training epee. She runs out yelling. (edited)

-------------------------------

Before long, she's sitting on top of the two because unlike Ruby and Penny she's had formal training. Her eye is twitching from the arts and crafts disaster that's become her home. She turns on the full force of her bossiness.

"Wei-"

"Salu-"

"I've been chauffering my mom and her infuriating date all day today. Then I had to deal with my manager and why i haven't come up with more songs. And then you both come wake me up at one in the morning, turning my entire home into a preschool art project! You WILL clean up the mess you made or so help me god…"

She just screams out in anger, making the other two hug each other in fear. After she stalks off, the other two notice their position and quickly pull away from each other. They then grudgingly work together to clean the lawn and house and repair the damage they made.

The police do arrive but are turned around by Klein who tells them everything is under control.

After they're mostly done, Klein invites the two to stay at the manor, since it's late and not safe - though for him, it's an excuse to have Weiss interact with kids her age in a non-backstabby-rival-singer way. Naturally, the two excitedly accept.

----

lilac — 12/14/2020 9:36 AM

Back to troll Penny, singer Weiss, streaming prankster Ruby:

Klein invites the uninvited guests to stay the night after they clean up the mess they made of the Schnee mansion.

The next day, Ruby and Penny were unable to get any sleep, mostly cause they are all "omg I'm sleeping in my idol's home." So come morning, they're both exhausted and meet each other in the hall. Penny and Ruby share a pleased smile behind their masks before they recall they're supposed to be hostile to each other, cause both of them consider themselves as Weiss's number one fan.

Klein sees them and leads them to the dining room for breakfast, where they find a delicious spread. Whitley's already there, kinda wondering why the crazy girls he called the police on earlier are eating here, but given Klein invited them, they couldnt be that dangerous.

As all three of them eat, Weiss comes in mostly in pajamas and some bedhead, clearly dazed and drowsy. For one, she doesnt even notice the pair on the table. Whitley looks at Weiss and the two girls with an amused face. Ruby and Penny don't even know what to say as Weiss just goes about her business, mostly like a zombie with Klein helpfully putting food on her plate and most importantly an industrial-sized mug of coffee. She just eats and drinks what's on her plate before going back the way she came.

Whitley watches on with amused anticipation.

The girls are wondering if she's deliberately ignoring them when they see her collide with the wall beside the doorway. Before they could ask if she's okay, Weiss just dazedly steps back and walks through the hall instead.

Whitley's giggling, and when the girls look at him, he just says, "every morning. Like clockwork."

[landoffreaksandfrogs]

Anonymous Bloodswap Headcanons, parts 1 through 3. I am not the source, all ideas presented are from an anonymous user.

the best thing about being a creative is that you can inspire others, and im so so happy that someone wanted to share such a great interpretation of my bloodswap. it has so much great stuff going on that i can really appreciate, so if anon ever sees this, PLEASE keep writing!! you obviously have a lot of talent. :]

transcript under the cut

okay so terezi is like. Raised in the courts, she’s always playing around online “judging” people’s crimes. This is how she comes across the others — she meets vriska first, talking about the annoying things highbloods do, and decides she likes this girl, takes pity on her, meets her friends, proper scourge sisters courtship and all such shit

vriska really loves to flarp. her favorite thing is to flarp pirates with eridan and kanaya (although eridan always makes her do the dirty job of killing the trolls they round up while kanaya takes their lusii for tz, so vriska mildly resents him for it ig? eridan doesn’t notice, just figures that vriska’s doing what she’s naturally meant to do — become more powerful so that maybe one day she’ll be able to be in his presence not as a flarper but as a hatefriend. yes he’s still racist in my head.)

sollux and aradia are in a cave system one day when they hear the sounds of some trolls running. sollux, lil guy that he is, gets involved, while aradia stays for backup but doesn’t really want to deal with this. sollux finds eridan and vriska hunting down the two trolls. he challenges eridan to a duel, dismissing vriska. vriska is. rightfully pissed and retreats (terezi will hear about this). eridan loses the duel — he didn’t know that his powers wouldn’t work to their full extent on sollux and sollux therefore has time to take him out. eridan’s never been a very physical fighter, always relying on vriska to do the dirty jobs for him or on his mind powers to take people out so he didn’t know how to deal with this.

eridan is lost broken he just lost to a dirty little hemonymous upstart who somehow evaded his powers? shit’s getting real man idk. anyway he looks into who sollux is, finds out who his friends are — and oh, fuck, he’s red courting fef. eridan is fucking livid at this. but fef manages to calm him down for now. keyword.

anyway in the meantime karkat is having fun exploring his caves and figuring out his ancestral legacy when he discovers this weird one with his sign on it, only it’s not only his sign its also nepeta’s sign and sollux’s sign?? he looks into it. there’s a statue of what looks like an older version of sollux, sweeping a hand out dramatically over the empty cave. karkat’s ancestor is behind him, hand on S.A (sollux’s ancestor’s) shoulder. N.A is sitting at his feet, grinning devilishly, eyes glowing and air sparking around her as her hair floats wildly in the air. intrigued karkat spends some long weeks fucking around in there until he discovers his ancestor’s diary. he reads through it, uploads it to goregle storage and sends it to sollux and nepeta. 

nepeta when she gets this is absolutely fucking enraged. what the fuck, karkat. you dont just share anti empire shit like this on goregle! youre not part of the fucking warthunder fandom for heavens sake! anyway she gets mad at him, kind of ends up blowing some shit up with her psionics (she always had too much power and not enough control) and starts a fire in her hivestem. this takes so long to put out and is during the day. at least six people die, and nepeta suffers severe third degree burns both from the fire and from running out of the burning building into the sun. sollux finds out, yells at karkat, they’re not friends for the next few sweeps. anyway karkat, trying to make amends, takes nepeta into his cave system, where they spend the next couple of sweeps until sgrub charting ships and talking romance and ancestral legacy and healing their friendship. theyve got a really fuckin cute pale thing going on by the time they enter sgrub. 

gamzee gets wind of what nepeta did. he of course has no idea what karkat did. so he starts cyberstalking nepeta, carefully gathering evidence on his murderer friend. she notices but decides not to say anything — he’s a teal, she can’t challenge him. aradia might like her but aradia’s also stoned most of the time on weird highblood weed so she’s not sure how well the trial would go. anyway gamzee collects this evidence, and, once he’s got enough (or, thinks he does), he sends it to aradia. 

aradia finds this amusing, that he would put so much time into a seemingly petty grudge against a lowblood 

“what kinda crush you got on her, gam”

he takes offense, arguing that she murdered five people and commited arson! she obviously isn’t right in the head, should be culled or at the very least punished and put in her place! aradia takes this moment to point out that she’s a fucking clown. she doesn’t care if someone kills another person. as long as there’s not a political motive, she isn’t there for it. gamzee resignedly leaves it alone. 

however! then we’ve got aradia and tavros discussing this stuff. tavros ends up spilling the beans to terezi. he’s always liked nepeta, found her super awesome but like shit if he’s going to lie to the heiress

terezi ponders it for a while, lets it sit. 

before you know it they’re all six sweeps old. the game starts. shenanigans ensue. 

not going to go into this stuff but: 

vriska and terezi break up, leaving terezi mentally fragile and vriska mentally and socially vulnerable

karkat and nepeta also break up when nepeta starts pitch courting gamzee (karkat cant deal with it because he doesn’t understand why and everything is changing and nep can’t keep up w him and and and and . teenager stuff.)

erinepquius moirails maybe? 

eridan definitely figures out their gender sometime during this, thanks to kanaya (they’re in some sort of quasi-romantic relationship — not quadranted but not entirely platonic)

gamzee keeps a close eye on nep. whenever she starts to get angry, he records it. whenever she steps out of line, he’s onto her.

terezi keeps a close eye on the records gamzee keeps. she doesn’t approve of this — of what he’s doing — but nep might be dangerous,. she’s constantly fighting with herself and the otehrs, and keeping them off balance. 

karkat fucks up the frog because he’s so on edge, so paranoid. terezi’s affecting everyone, and it doesn’t help that he doesn’t have a moirail anymore. 

they finish their game, but then bec noir comes and yeets it. 

escape to the meteor. 

ill finish these tomorrow lmao

[papaver-decervicatus]

Teaser :)

gif originally from @i-troll-you-with-love (I think!)

Hello everyone, like I briefly mentioned, life has gotten really awful for a few days. One totally shit 21st birthday later, there is still a particular scene in this chapter that is driving me absolutely insane and I have no clue when it will be done. The chapter after this is completely written, and the one after the next after that. Mouse's POV confounds me, but I love her too much to stop!

Again, sorry for the lateness and brevity but sometimes you need to sit in bed and cry about whats happened and put your silly little tumblr blog on hold for a minute. In apology, and because I enjoy to write when upset, here is a teaser from the next chapter (Mus Urbanus,) that is a flashback within the chapter (which is why it’s set off in parenthetical.) I think @bucca2 mentioned interest in their initial interactions so here is the first time Mouse/König flirt! (Sort of. Read and I’m sure you’ll understand!)

Thank you all for the support, it has and will continue to mean the world to me. P.S- please always be there for your friends and I hope you like Hannibal...

❣️Cura ut Veleas ~ Caedis 🥀

(She remembers the seemingly endless weeks of his arrival to her perch. The early morning light hits the streets the same way it had hit the forest ground that day. Like a fairytale prince, beseeching a princess on hand and knee, he would always somehow appear in her sights, nearly as though it was just meant to be!

His form stands out tall and proud from its surroundings and she recounts every single reason he should not be here. By the third time their eyes caught she’d decided he was doing it on purpose, but she never let him get away with it without some acknowledgement on her side. She can only imagine that if she’s getting hunted for sport, her calling out his position will, at least temporarily, halt his advance.

But by this rate, she’ll be in his mouth by the end of the year.

His eyes are cold and bloodshot red. Painted on tears lick their way down the hood she’s never seen him without, possibly a feeble attempt at impersonality? Maybe if he looks enough like a monster people will just trust their first assumption and leave him alone. But she’s never been one to judge a book by its cover…

“I see you, König.” She warns out to him. He stills among the foliage, bathed in sweet-honey-like warmth from the rising sun. He does not shy away from his imminent death on the business end of her rifle, of course not! Instead, he raises his chest proudly, seemingly aware that the loneliness in her yields to whatever greater magnetism the loneliness in him commands. He’s an enigma, it bothers her that of all the people to put the effort into finding her, it has to be him. Mostly she curses herself for promising him a next time all those encounters ago, if she’d known what sort of a game it would inspire in the predator stalking her like prey despite her flipping sniper rifle, she never would have said a thing.

He may be in her scope, but he’s got her under a finer microscope to seek her out so faithfully. She wishes she got this sort of dizzying devotion from someone, anyone else.

It is the third day this week he has found her.

What she expects to happen is what has happened for weeks now, 1) he hears her transmission, 2) he smiles at her as a predator smiles at pray, his eyes find hers and her hackles rise in utter terror, and 3) he hums to himself and turns away, self-satisfied enough to have won hide-and-seek for the time being.

That does not happen.

Instead, König sits down, right where he is, and pulls out that monster of a knife he keeps strapped to himself. He throws it up and catches it without looking at it, instead his eyes are laser-focused on Mouse. This is, of course, despite the fact he should have no earthly idea where she is. He plays with his knife idly for what must be an hour, but she does not- no, can not- look away from him.

She remembers her trigger finger twitching with sinful power, she remembers choking back the insistence at killing another lonely person, devoid of their autonomy on a basic level when they signed up for a mercenary-issued ticket to hell.

She remembers hopelessness. She remembers refusal. She remembers the smile reaching his eyes when she played along with his joke.

“Why don’t rats like cats?” Her radio labors out.

She half forgot what his voice sounded like, surprisingly excitable and shrill for a man of his stature. Her brain stutters around the implication of the only words she’s heard him say to her since the fateful ravine that gained her a new personal and 6’10” shadow.

She blinks a few times in surprise, genuinely pondering if her long hours hiking through the woods have made her susceptible to hallucination and general hysteria. She is not thinking when she timidly responds-

“Why?”

“Because they are weapons of maus-destruction.” Konig replies like it’s not the stupidest thing she’s ever heard in her goddamn life.

Perhaps it's pity at the memory of his discomfort around his comrades. Of the thought of the way he tries to make his body so small when around others (truly an impossible task he routinely fails.) Maybe it’s irrational fear, twofold and buried in her instinct to shoot despite the clear disadvantage on his behalf and her insistence that she does not do her damn job, or fear of the inhuman man in front of her stalking her through the woods. Or it could be discomfort, no one ever prepared her for dealing with whatever the fuck this is in basic training or field school.

In the end, it doesn’t really matter what it is.

In the sparkling, decadent light of a sunrise, her heart hammers in her throat at the first joke he’d told her, in some strange and desperate attempt to fill the meters of silence between them.

She laughs.

And he hears it.

And with his wide stance, his ghastly executioner’s hood in the place of a crown, and his knife back in its holster- his beautiful eyes seem to smile. Suddenly, his eyes look lived in, like someone has just put up new curtains in an abandoned house. His whole affect changes hinging on what was an irresponsible outburst on her behalf at best.

And for the first time, she does not fear a monster hunting her through the woods, silent and purposeful in his pursuit of prey.

Instead, she wants to understand a man, whose eyes have lit up like a princess has just laughed when he kissed her hand.)

[megan0013]

Mamma Mia AU

there was actually a stricklake mamma mia au on ao3 at one point (it's gone missing 😭), so quite a bit of these hc's are inspired by my vague memories of that fic. and if anyone should happen to find it, please let me know and i’ll link it

anyway

1. this is not a human au. all sorts of species get it on along in this one and barb was in college, ok? she was into experimenting. blinky is a troll. strickler and jls are both changelings. the fact that jim isn’t obviously a half-troll should immediately rule blinky out as a genetic donor, but i choose to ignore that particular pothole because it amuses me greatly to imagine a six-eyed, four-armed blue troll declaring passionately to a mostly human jim that he knows he’s his father and can’t wait to give him away at his wedding. jim doesn’t have the heart to explain that that’s not really the way it works

jim: i’ll know my father as soon as i see him

toby: it’s totally the troll

2. character swap goes like this: jim - sophie, claire - sky, barbara - donna, strickler - sam, blinky - bill/harry, jls - harry/bill. toby is still there as jim's best friend, along with draal who is the tasty treat chasing after wine auntie nomura for plot c. oh, and aaarrrgghh takes the place of rosie because the b plot is my favorite troll husbands falling in love

blinky: barbara, you were the first human i ever loved

blinky: and also the last

aaarrrgghh *grinning*: take a chance on me

3. strickler’s a great cook, blinky is fascinated by human vehicles, and jls is also named james(?!) - wild how jim’s got something in common with all three of his possible dads, huh?

4. the island truly is magical and part of claire’s business plan is to market it as a hotel for mythical creatures. not monsters, though. dracula’s already got that market cornered. kidding. everyone’s welcome

5. for plot purposes trolls have developed an immunity to the sun and can now lay around all day on the beach in a speedo, drinking a mai tai and dreaming up increasingly chaotic schemes to somehow seduce the hot changeling lady

nomura: little boys who play with fire get their fingers burned

draal: it’s cool. i’m wearing spf 4000

6. the morning after stricklake get married, strickler’s down in the kitchen making barbara pancakes or something with nothing on but one of those “kiss the cook” aprons, completely forgetting that this is a hotel and winds up getting caught bare-assed when half the wedding guests waltz in for their continental breakfast. don’t worry. barbara saves him, and

dot dot dot

[anxhoredheart]

( archie renaux, nonbinary, he/they ) — 🎬 just announced, jaiden ‘jaime' adani is casted as chuck bhatt (chuck bass) in upcoming gossip girl series reboot. the twenty six year old is trending as people are debating if the worn out checkered vans with the hole on the heel, the thrill of surviving imposter syndrome, bruised && bloody knuckles worn proud with a smile, finding yourself stuck in the method acting that they are known for is enough to make them as good as original. a quick google search shows that their fans call them deeply devoted, but internet trolls think they’re more desperate. i guess their newest interview for variety where they talk about how this is their breakout role and the dream of a lifetime will let people to know them better.

basics:

traits: athletic, hedonistic, ambitious, devoted, idealistic, argumentative, stubborn, resilient, colorful, individualistic, non-conforming, hyper-active, spontaneous, forceful, destructive, domineering, envious, greedy.

relationship status: mingling.

sexuality: pansexual/gender blind.

religion: agnostic.

date of birth: nov 9th.

zodiac sign:  scorpio.

skills & hobbies: basketball, acting, watching movies, everything 90s, skateboarding, opposing authority, bare-knuckle boxing, parties, fast cars, being listened too, painting fingernails.

dislikes & fears: their mother, rules, and the answer no // losing his apartment, never making it to the spotlight, half of their co-workers.

quirks: diagnosis: with adhd in 3rd grade, hates authority, doesn't drink beer

fun facts: had auditioned for the roles of troy bolton and ryan atwood but never got call-backs. was shocked to get a call for chuck bass.

pets: their apartment doesn't allow them, but they have one unauthorized cat who has only one eye, and her tail was amputated. she is a rescue and his baby. her name is pizza.

family: no longer in contact with any of them.

inspirations: fiona & lip gallagher (shameless), killmonger (black panther), jordan wilder (famous in love)

backstory:

they were just a kid from oakland - with about a million and two dreams && a penchant for trouble.

kicked out of public high school only two weeks into their freshman year for fighting, and they didn't regret it. no one made fun of jaime when they returned, painted nails && long hair (or shaved hair, or neon pink hair...) && all, that was for sure.

adversity was part of the lifestyle. they bounced between the houses of their mom's boyfriends or cheap rundown places, and jaime (as the eldest) would come home from school && take care of their two younger brothers while their mom worked, partied, dated, or slept.

the house was a revolving door, and there was almost always 1-4 guests crashing on couches, or even the floor.

what brought everyone together were movies - and jaime loved them, dreamed of living the lives they saw play out on social media && on tv, always thinking of a bigger, brighter future.

the day of their 18th birthday, they left oakland, and somehow got their junker car to los angeles.

it then, immediately, broke down. and so began, the harrowing experience of trying to get your name out in hollywood. it was an uphill battle from the start, and aside from minor roles, posing as extras, and commercials... jaime struggled.

their brothers did not forgive jaime for leaving to pursue his dream, especially as years passed, and jamie continued to struggle. eventually, they stopped communicating at all, finding their own trouble && dream in other ways. the family fractured without jaime.

for eight freaking years, they have been showing up to every casting call, every audition, stalking directors on social media, trying to get into the classy clubs, buying the cheap weed... bouncing between place to place like a bouncy ball.

almost ready to give up, jaime gave it one last go - and landed the role, somehow, for chuck bass. he couldn't more different from them, but it's time to own up to the challenge.

jaime's dreams are coming true... but only if they can hack it on the screen, and bring justice to the legacy of chuck bass. it wasn't until filming began they realized the only reason they landed the role at all instead of one of the bigger names floating around was because their co-star demanded a "nobody" to star alongside romantically; and now, jaime has even more to prove.

wanted connections:

gossip girl cast: they already have a lot of tension with his co-star portraying blair, and though they want to make friends with the crew... they may be acting a little aloof due to the nerves of it all. i imagine tension here but hopefully someone can break the ice? share snacks during break?

rival: someone trying to steal their thunder

showing them the ropes: literally brand new to fame, despite having been in la for 10 years now. they don't know the ins and outs, they still get starstruck, and they have no idea how to say no at the wild parties. someone needs to help him.

the judge-y snobs who think they can't hack it: pretty much self-explanatory but as a brand new face, a nobody from oakland who took this long to finally land something, i'm sure jaime will face a lot of adversity and he will work to win them over in unique ways.

crushes/hook-ups/tinder dates: tbh jaime is here to mingle and mingle they shall do. this is their dream life they are living and the love is overflowing.

the mom friend: eventually i will have jaime lean a little hard into the "chuck bass" personna as the show continues filming... being more of a douche, partying too hard, etc. someone will need to care enough to help them out, would love for this to be a slow burn/slow blossom effect so when they spiral, your muse is there!

party/stoner pals: life of the party, and comes down every night with a well-rolled joint. who else?

taken connections:

[chichirichick]

The Halloween AU is here!

Three Nights 'til Halloween

has dropped! Please prepare yourselves for updates every Monday until Halloween, plus a bonus All Soul's Day epilogue! Read it on AO3 exclusively! Special thanks to @jonesy-murgatroyd for inspiring this, and @silluuuu and @sahdah for being my ever lovely sounding boards.

Rating: T

Pairings: SoMa, TsuStar

Story Summary: Maka wants to investigate the local haunted estate for a writing assignment, glossing over the urban legend that speaks of a curse every Halloween. She coerces Blake and Tsubaki to join her, but receives some unexpected company: Soul. Between an urban legend that's not so much a legend and their fractured relationship, Soul and Maka have a lot of work to do. Maybe there's some meddling ghosts and friends who are looking to help along the way.

Chapter 1 (Shibusen Estate) Summary: Blake somehow perfectly balances troll and wingman. Maka gets into trouble (surprise!) and guess who has to save her? Tsubaki is just a queen, as always.

[captnjacksparrow]

SNS Dynamics - Sasuke's Perspective

Lengthy post ahead

On completing my rewatch of Naruto part I and part II, many things which never made sense started to make sense. One among them is the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke. I used to ask why Naruto is going so far for Sasuke. And why Sasuke is helping out Naruto even though he wants to kill him. And I used to think that Episode 478 was retconned to make the final battle ends in a draw and Sasuke somehow made to reconcile with the titular character. Yet, I instinctively felt, ‘Something is very different about them’. But on careful rewatch, all the clues which consolidate their relationship was there. The way they love each other is totally on a different level and the creator very carefully planned this from the beginning of the Manga.

Though I really don’t like the ending for making every characters into a child rearing machine at an age of 20 to make way for an abomination called ‘Boruto’, I still loved everything till Episode 479.

I wanted to discuss about both Naruto and Sasuke's perspective. But that cannot be accommodated in a single post. So, I decided to start with Sasuke. Since Naruto's side of SNS is very open and vocal, we clearly knew what is going on in his mind. But Sasuke's side is usually very subtle but much more intense than Naruto which makes it worth analyzing.

Before getting to that, for most of the characters in the Naruto universe (I mean 99%), Sasuke is a person who looks cool, aloof, rude, overbearing, blunt, genius and emotionless. And that’s the truth. Except for Itachi and Naruto. So when I say he is rude or arrogant, it is from the people’s POV.  And since I always see myself in Itachi, I see Sasuke as that adorable innocent child who is very honest but forgiving.

I strongly feel that Sasuke has some innocent enchantment towards Naruto ever since he lost his family which later transcended into a bond which cannot be put under Friendship or Bromance. Enchantment, here I meant by, is not in a sexual way but more like the unconscious need to be in the presence of other person. Like walking beside each other eternally. Or even warming up next to a campfire near a chilly beach. You don’t want to fall into the fire but just enjoy the warmth. It maybe totally a platonic love like many claims to be. But his absolute disinterest in any other characters (even just as a friend) and the following traits he shows only to Naruto are clearly not just distinctive of platonic love either. It’s completely beyond platonic.

The following are the traits which Sasuke shows only towards Naruto, could have been avoided or delegated to other characters if the creator really wanted to assert their relationship as just friendship. There are lot of subtexts and emotions which I cannot accept it under the guise of bromance or friendship. It’s just not possible. If someone you like shows all these traits to another person, you should stop thinking about that person and move on.

The traits are :

Preferential Treatment

Attentive

Protective

My body moved on its own

One and Only

Powerful Eyes

Unconscious Closeness

Preferential Treatment

This is the very basic and first thing you show to someone whom you love. Meaning, I will treat this person much different from everyone else. When I was exploring this trait, I couldn’t stop laughing in many places. Because Sasuke is such a trolling machine who mercilessly trolls people who are in his way. He also inspire certain amount of fear which makes him even more unapproachable.

He has this cold bearing where people find it extremely difficult to manage or approach him. It comes off as very rude most of the times. One such example is Sai told Sasuke that he will get along better with him than Naruto. Sasuke put a Genjutsu on him for comparing himself with Naruto. LOL.

What's more funny is most people (Sakura, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Sai, Hinata) usually talk to him politely with honorifics like 'Sasuke-kun'. But he didn't give two shits about them and shitted them all mercilessly.

Here is the infamous proposal from Sakura in part 1.

Well she deserved this one to be honest. Throughout the entire conversation Sasuke never saw her face and responded very bluntly even though she was pouring her heart out crying. There was no visible distress or sadness from Sasuke’s side.

Whereas with Naruto, in the final Valley of The End, we saw him turning towards Naruto and answer him properly when Naruto asked the same question of what Sakura asked. There were so many emotions throughout the battle and Sasuke’s pain of leaving Naruto was clearly shown. Which explains the difference of where Sasuke keeps Naruto in his heart.

The following is the one from Chunin Exams prelims where Sakura is begging for him to quit with tears. The response is an usual 'Stay out of my business'.

Me: Sasuke!!!! Even I don't know how to approach you!!!! I understand you don't like to talk unnecessarily so you just shitted on Sai. But Sakura is your teammate, isn't it?

And then there is this little orange blonde who literally trolls Sasuke.

I really thot Sasuke was going to trash Naruto too, like he could have easily said, 'Naruto, you should also stay out of my business'.

But then

These words are something precious for Naruto. He wished for these words to come from Sasuke someday in his lifetime. But not at that time. And he was truly shocked and very excited. Believe me, when watching that scene, it was really great. But while making analysis like this, it’s absolutely hilarious.

This dynamics is similar to

Sakura: *cries unbearably* Sasuke-kun, I am worried about you. Don’t act so strong.

Sasuke: Shut up. Mind your own business.

Naruto: Bastard! She is worried about you.

Sasuke: Alright, I love you. Now shut up.

ROOOFFFFL :-D

I thought all these childhood bickers were over by part 1 and we will never see it in part 2.

Nope. I was wrong. Kakashi and Sakura were the scapegoats here.

Here's another round of applause from Naruto.

And I honestly cannot comprehend what was going on in Sasuke's mind and why he is really rude to Sakura and Kakashi. It seems he was really irritated by their presence or he maybe thinking they were useless or both.

When Naruto asks him something, he responds without any insults. What baffles me most is that during Infinite Tsukuyomi, Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto for his Revolution and awaiting his fated battle. And yet he answers him properly.

Can you see the pattern here?

He shits on people asking some question even with an utmost polite attitude but when Naruto asks the same question he was like "Alright Sweetie, Am gonna answer anything you want and say anything you like".

The following is the beginning of everything where Naruto can't even swear properly but still Sasuke couldn't even bother.

In short, the way he treats Naruto is quite different and hilarious when compared to the others. With his cold bearing, he absolutely has no need to put up with Naruto's outburst but he still accepts without a care every time. RIP to those souls who got the short end of the stick.

He must have an extreme tolerance towards Naruto's tirades to the point where he can never insult him back. And I also believe 100% that, nobody dares to make such frequent insults on Sasuke to his face except Naruto.

I know SK shippers jump in here to say Naruto is not the only one. But still the dynamics between Karin and Sasuke is simply a mirror image of Naruto and Sasuke, probably she reminded him of Naruto and hence made some exceptions for her because Sasuke never gives a damn about any other clan other than his own, but when Kabuto tells him Karin belongs to Uzumaki clan, he was shocked. I am pretty sure the only other Uzumaki member he knew is none other than Naruto.

Now, does this means he is in super love with Naruto? No.

But the way he treats every other characters and how he treats Naruto exclusively speaks volumes and this trope shouldn’t have existed in the first place. The creator should have made Sasuke treat both of his teammates equally which could’ve deflected the shipping angle. 

Attentive

Am not talking about how attentively he analyzes his enemies in the battles. Of course, in that department, Sasuke flies high. This is about how attentive he is to Naruto to the point where he can deduce what Naruto thinks and how Naruto looks without the need to communicate with him.

I know Sasuke suspected Sakura was acting strange before Chunin Exams when she said 'Good Morning' with some hesitation. But the difference here is that Sasuke can identify Naruto without even talking to him.

Funny thing here is that Sasuke was sitting somewhere far behind from Naruto and yet he could pick up Naruto getting freaked out without seeing his face.

Who could forget about the famous ‘Where’s real Naruto?’ episode during Chunin Exams?. It would’ve been fine if this happened once. But the creator went ahead and made this thing happen twice under entirely different situations. And everytime Sasuke can find fake Naruto without fail. This scene conveys Sasuke is very observant towards Naruto’s appearance & fighting skills (the way he evades an attack).

Now, being attentive to someone is not a special thing which attributes to love. But considering Sasuke’s personality who is aloof and focused on his own world, knowing Naruto like the back of his hand  is way too descriptive. Only someone who really understands the other person or constantly paying attention can find out such subtle changes. It doesn’t end here.

This is the battle between Gaara and Naruto. Where Naruto was literally confused about how to save his friends from Gaara who is much more powerful. And yet Sasuke can find Naruto’s mood just by seeing him.

Me: Yes, Sasuke!!! Gaara happened to pass by Naruto and forgot to kill him on a whim!!! So, Naruto is scared to the shit!!

Also Me: You guys always bicker with each other and are not best of friends. Sasuke!!! How could you analyze his mood just by looking at Naruto????

In Shippuden, There’s no inner monologue like the above, but whenever Naruto appears before him (Orochimaru’s hideout, Bridge, War arc), Sasuke gives his undivided attention to him. He even went so far as to advice him to pay attention to the battle. And I was like “Wait!!! you wanted to kill him... why pay attention to him at all? Geez”.

As much as you want to think that Sasuke doesn’t care about anyone, he does care about Naruto to the point where he doesn’t want him to be worried. How thoughtful just for a ‘teammate’.

How did Sasuke knew that Naruto would worry about him?, I wonder.

But all these things started from this

This boy has been noticing Naruto from way back when he was around 7 when he lost his family. Of course he would know every little things about Naruto because for some undefinable reason he couldn’t stop paying his attention to Naruto. A lineup of girls vying for his attention because of his cool appearance, whereas Sasuke simply loved Naruto without any reservations but because of his childish and warm personality which reminded him of his family.

‘I couldn’t stop paying attention to you’  and in some translations the words were ‘I couldn’t take my eyes off you’. Either way, these words are not for someone you see just as a friend let alone a brother.

Protectiveness

I can go on and on about how protective Sasuke is towards Naruto. I can write a separate post about it. This is the most important aspects of this ship which makes it sail higher than any other ships.

Of course, this is the Ninja world where people wants to protect each other and at the same time kill each other too. Sasuke protecting Naruto and Naruto protecting Sasuke is not too special. In fact, one of the weak and pathetic character like Sakura was saved once in every three episodes by Naruto or Kakashi or even by Sasuke sometimes.

And yet here I am mentioning protectiveness as the most important aspect of this ship. So what differentiates?

The way Sasuke protects Naruto is one of the intense thing I’ve ever seen. When I watch this series, I gained this immense ability to put myself in other characters mind just like Naruto. When I put myself in Sasuke’s mind whenever he tried to protect Naruto under different conditions, I simply cannot put their relationship under Friendship.

Here, Naruto is fighting Gaara in part 1 and Naruto was repelled by his own attack from the paper bomb. Sasuke being already battered by his curse mark bruise and he couldn’t move an inch. And yet he is shielding Naruto even though it is completely unnecessary because Naruto bumping into a tree log is completely normal. The creator even went under a lot of pain to draw that panel which took 40% of the page.

Now you may question, many characters even died protecting someone. What’s so special with just shielding?

Like Hinata jumping in for suicide before Pain, Iruka blocking Mizuki’s attack, Tsunade blocking Orochimaru, Neji dying as a ‘Love Cupid’ for hinata and Naruto.... I can cite many things here. What’s common among them all is that they were all perfectly capable of moving around and yet decided to save Naruto.

But that’s not the only point. 

Is there any need for him to save Naruto? No.

Will Naruto die if he didn’t shield him? No.

Then why? He could have spent that energy trying to do something for Sakura rather than do a pointless shielding. 

And then there is Kushina.

Naruto’s mom was already on the verge of dying as she had Kurama extracted from her body and Jinchuriki without a Tailed Beast will die. Because of Uzumaki clan’s strong life force, she could hold off for a bit longer. When kurama attacked Naruto, she shielded him with her body and saved her son from an imminent death.

Even though Sasuke didn’t die shielding him, but there is a semblance.

Both protected Naruto even when their body condition is worse. That is, Protect at all cost attitude.

I intended to put Land of the Waves arc here as it is very similar to what happens with Kushina. But that’s for an upcoming section.

Now, as a Mother her instinct to protect Naruto is very strong.

But who is Naruto for Sasuke? What makes his instinct so strong to protect someone who is not even related by his blood? Until and unless you love that person dearly you won’t do it.

That brings me to the next thing.

Yeah, it kind of looks ‘very friendly’ to give a 3 layered protection to someone who is already powered up like you and most importantly you want to kill him.(Can I say that looks really romantic?). Anyways my point is different.

What really happens here is this

It is a well established fact that Minato, the Yellow Flash is the fastest shinobi in Narutoverse. It wasn’t surpassed yet. He uses the Hiraishin No Jutsu to teleport at the speed of light. It was invented by none other than Tobirama Senju who is the fastest shinobi of his time.

We basically have two fastest shinobi in the battlefield here. And Minato being the fastest among them, definitely don’t want to blow up near his son for whom he died protecting him once. He wanted to teleport somewhere away and before he could do it, Tobirama teleported the bomb back to Obito.

What many fails to notice here is that all these things are happening in mere seconds. But Sasuke realized it real quick as usual and protects Naruto in an instant. How fast his instinct you may ask? Quicker than the two fastest shinobi on the battlefield and one among them is Naruto’s dad.

What I want to say is Sasuke’s protective instinct is quicker than Naruto’s father and similar to Naruto’s mother.

And you know, I questioned myself during the Chunin Exams arc “I think in the Zabuza arc, Naruto conveniently happened to be near Sasuke, So he protected him at the cost of his life. What if Sakura happens to be there? Would he have done the same? Maybe he would’ve died protecting her too.”

But all of my questions were thrown into drain by Sasuke as if he was able to read my mind. The answer is “Hell! I don’t care if she died. That’s her loss. I will not die for her sake.”

This is really confusing, hilarious and romantic at the same time.

Me: Sasuke!!! I understand why you want to save Jugo... Even though you abandoned him in the Land of Iron. LOL. What are you going to do with Naruto anyway when the whole world is blasted off?

He proved this again in the Kaguya’s Lava dimension too. Before you tell me that he saved Naruto because he needs him to seal off Kaguya, the previous scenario nullifies your argument.

And SS wankers shamelessly defending that Sasuke don’t want Sakura to die by Kaguya’s hands, that’s why he left her to die. Geez!!! Who the hell is Sakura to Kaguya anyway? Even if she were to die by Kaguya’s hands, it would almost look like how Obito died. It’s not bad at all. But falling into the lava pit, burning, screaming.... sssshhhh. Wake the f**k up!!!

Now how can you convince me that this is just Friendship? What’s more funny is Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto later at some point. Throughout the War Arc I was always confused as to why Sasuke even care about Naruto at all? He didn’t care about him ever since he left him 3 or 4 years ago and he doesn’t have to. After all everyone have their own paths to walk on.

Even if I put myself in Sasuke’s mind and see Naruto just as a friend whom I want to kill, I wouldn’t go under so much pain to save him. I would feel like it’s better for him to die by something else rather than me. Because I can’t bring myself to kill someone I know well.

These scenes are not just put there by chance.

Such a strong reflex to protect someone is only possible when you consider that person’s life more than yours.

Does any other ship has such things to show? I’ll wait.

Yeah Sasuke protected Sakura from Orochimaru and Gaara. But he also went so far to wait for Karin and awakened a new power to protect her. So does this means he love those girls?? No. He was just showing a team camaraderie. But it’s funny that later, he tried to kill those girls knowing full well they are unprepared to fight him. While with Naruto, it always comes with a warning. Try to understand this difference. Which is exactly why I didn’t put Sasuke saving Naruto during his Chakra training, or falling from the waterfall and many more. Because they are just a team camaraderie.

I don’t even have to compare with other ships, did Sasuke ever protected anyone like this in the whole series?. These are the things which could’ve been avoided or handled in a different way, like there was no need to emphasize on saving Naruto alone while ignoring others.

My body moved on its own

I don’t need to explain this any deeper. There are many people who says Sasuke is incapable of showing his true feelings. He is cold, rude, aloof and stoic so he always hides his feelings for everyone (mostly this line was used by Sakura wankers who wanted to portray that Sasuke always loved Sakura deeply but never shows). But they fail to understand the irony that one of the most beautiful line in this entire series was told by none other than ‘Sasuke Uchiha’, “My body moved on its own”.

Yet I find Sasuke shows his honest and heartful emotions before the people he loves. If he can show that to Itachi and Naruto, why not with Sakura?

I know those wankers try to say Sasuke repressed all his feelings until Chapter 698, so he has some romantic feelings for Sakura too. Bullshit!!!

Even though he repressed those feelings in his mind, his body always betrays him in the end and his feelings pours out from time to time. That is what this section explores about.

Man, this is the most painful GIF I have ever made.

In his battle with Itachi, he was completely consumed by the feeling of revenge and hatred for his brother. But when Itachi approached him in his final moments with an intention (seemingly) to snatch his eyes, he still couldn't push Itachi away though he could have. Sasuke just looked into his eyes and let him do whatever he was about to do.

Why?, Because he loved his brother so much once that he don't know what to do but simply embrace that moment. These are the moments your mind says to close your eyes or even run away (he totally could have) but his body will not allow him to.

This is what I meant by your body betrays yourself. Even in your darkest moments, you cannot fake. You always show your true emotions towards the person you love. The more you suppress, the more it will burst out.

Here Sasuke’s hatred is glaring through his eyes because Sakura is persuading him to not do something he wants to (as always). His only motivation is to kill that man. His resolve is a real deal.

But in a matter of minutes after giving that long hateful speech with some heavy determination, when he saw that hungry blonde boy who was tied up for trying to steal food, Sasuke just acted on his own and served him food even though he was told not to which could jeopardize his career.

This bipolar dance is something to notice throughout the series and is always interesting to explore. When Sakura tries to dissuade Sasuke from something, he always retorts to insults or an angry stare. But when Naruto accidentally stands in Sasuke’s way, he always involuntarily helps him out.

In short, towards Sakura he was like “Even you cannot take that path away from me” but when turning towards Naruto, he was like “Well, I can risk everything for you at the cost of my path”.

This seals the real deal for SNS ship.

At this point, for us viewers, Naruto is just an orphan who has no friends but always carries his life with a positive spirit hoping that someday he will be accepted by everyone.

Unbeknownst the fact that he already has one person who was willing to die for him and putting all his dreams into fire.

Important thing to notice, It’s entirely at Naruto’s fault for them being in this situation. If Naruto had used a bit of brain to attack from outside the mirror, they wouldn’t have been in this situation. But still Sasuke plunged into the trap without any regrets. That’s the beauty of this scene.

What’s more thrilling is that the creator told us Sasuke loved Naruto in the very next chapter itself. 

How?

By making Haku jump before Zabuza knowing full well that he is going to die which is not very different from how Sasuke shielded Naruto.

And not only that, but by making Naruto say “He really loved you”. I got to say the creator may sucks at writing Sakura and Hinata for God only knows for whatever twisted reasons. But when it comes to male characters like Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Obito... he was just amazing and on another level.

How?

By indirectly drawing parallels between Sasuke and Haku in a matter of successive chapters.

By dropping indirect hints and crumbs like these to tell us, the audience, the motivations of the characters.

I always had the thought why did he risked his life for a boy who always fights with him? This became more emotional when we get to know the real reason for why Sasuke risked his life much later in chapter 698.

Having faced all the turbulent things in his life, somehow seeing Naruto doing all those childish stuffs made him feel relieved. That warmth was what he needed at that time. He wanted to escape from it but couldn’t. That’s why he embraced his warmth unknowingly in his Team 7 days by constantly reaching out to him starting from asking tips, concerned about having breakfast and training with him to climb the tree.

Sasuke even come to like Naruto more than himself and that’s why he was willing to die for him.

This feeling is definitely not a bromance or friendship. It’s an innocent enchantment you hope to last forever. Which again explains why he tolerated Naruto’s insults and hostility all those times. Because Sasuke knew those childish things were the ones he got attracted to him ever since his childhood. Rather than saying tolerated, I should use the term enjoyed. He really enjoyed those moments being bugged by Naruto for no reason.

Because just like Itachi said to Sasuke once, ‘If you are excellent you become alienated and arrogant even though you were sought after at the beginning’ . But Naruto pestering him means he is very curious about Sasuke which no one else tried. He was adored by those girls for his coolness and revered by those boys for his excellence but nobody really tried to befriend him. But Naruto tried to befriend him through Rivalry. That’s why Sasuke unconsciously started to like him. This also explains why he roasted Sakura for badmouthing him even though Naruto attacked him and tied him up earlier.

If Sasuke can show all these feelings even though he was trying to suppress it towards Naruto and Itachi, Why can’t he show a single normal feeling towards Sakura??? Because there isn’t one. Except for an old Team 7 camaraderie where he saw her as an acquaintance and nothing more.

Many NH shippers claims, but Hinata loved her ‘Naruto-Kun’. She jumped in front of Naruto to save him from Pain, when in reality she just acted selfishly and couldn’t pull out the Chakra rods. Meaning she failed whatever she was about to do.

Another interesting thing to cite for NH shippers, they claim for Naruto, Hinata is the most important person his life. Since when? With that shitty movie called ‘The Last’ with shitty retconned stuff? In all the 699 chapters he always claimed Iruka Sensei and Sasuke were the important people in his life. And you know what? For Hinata to like Naruto, he has to jump in to save her from the bullies. But for Sasuke he just saved Naruto without any validation. He saw Naruto and liked his presence and just did it. 

When you could accept that failed attempt as a love, why not accept Sasuke loves Naruto when in fact he succeeded in saving him and that too unconditionally?

This is one of the tropes which should have been avoided if the creator wanted Sasuke and Naruto to be just friends.

One and Only

This is something very special that is offered to that one person in his life. That is Naruto. Even Itachi knew it. That is the Power to influence Sasuke’s heart. This is the fact even Sasuke himself knew it and that’s why he wanted to kill him.

Now don’t compare this with the manipulation shit which Orochimaru and Obito were doing. It’s not that. Many Sasuke fanatics always blame Naruto that he is also manipulating Sasuke just like everyone. That’s totally wrong.

Manipulation is something you do by talking about some twisted facts and make the other person to do what you want to.

Naruto never did that. Ever. Whenever Naruto and Sasuke meet, they always talk about themselves and how they feel. Not the world, not Team 7 or anything. Which is exactly why Sasuke himself willingly left that space in his heart for Naruto when he left him in the Valley of the End which he badly wanted to destroy. Sasuke, of all people, know Naruto is also very honest.

Sasuke lost all his rationality when he went into darkness by stabbing Karin who was helping him in his battle with Danzo. She even replenished his chakra many times. He not only just stabbed her, after when he found her still alive, he decided to finish her off with his Chidori.

And then the pink haired bitch appears before him and started to concoct lies with malicious intent to kill him. This provoked Sasuke more and more to reach this point.

Believe me, when you are lost in darkness, all you need is a small light which can show you a path. Someone who can extend helping hands to lift you up with honesty.

Sakura, being a crass woman, riled up Sasuke further with full of nonsense.

If you want to picture the darkness,

This is exactly how Sasuke feels. He is in so much pain and don’t know how to face it or deal with it. So he started to destroy everything he sees. For him Karin, Sakura, Kakashi are all just some pebbles in his way and want to trample them as he goes. His entire life has become farce after knowing his beloved brother’s real pain and miseries. Now he has no one left from his family.

Until Naruto appears.

He may not be his family, but he is the only person left for him in this world. Which is established in many Naruto endings and even Sasuke himself accepts this with Sage of Six Paths. 

But my Cherry Blossom queen really loved Sasuke, she only wanted the good of him. My question is ‘Then why the fuck she tried to kill him? She looked at Sasuke and find that he changed. She didn’t even bothered to find out what’s going on from his side.’ Then how is this considered as wanting only good for him? 

Surprisingly Sasuke calmed down a bit, the moment Naruto appears and even started to respond to him which he didn’t before with Kakashi and Sakura. Deep down Sasuke himself knew in his heart that the path he is going through is Self-destructive. Just like Kurama tells Naruto ‘Destroy everything you see’ in the Pain arc when he sprouted upto Eighth Tail, Sasuke’s traumatic mind tells him to ‘Destroy Konoha’.

All he needed was someone to extend an helping hand to tell him what to do without any malice. Naruto did that. Just like what Minato did for Naruto in Pain arc.

After clashing Rasengan with Chidori ,they meet inside the White bubble space and Naruto talks to Sasuke which evoked all his past memories which he never wanted to awaken.

That’s why Sasuke was visibly shaken with Naruto’s words. Because those were the words which mirrors exactly how Sasuke feels too. He was surprised and shocked that Naruto also felt the same way without him ever openly confessing those feelings.

When everyone tried to kill him for his monstrosity, Naruto is the only person standing there seeing him as his friend. Just like how Iruka saw Naruto way back in 1st chapter.

Believe me, even at the depth of darkness, when you see the person you love so much, you will stop and rationalize.

That is exactly why Itachi left Sasuke in Naruto’s hands. He even admitted to Sasuke that his words will not reach him no matter what.

Sasuke may not have abandoned his ambitions at that point. But Naruto gave him a clear path. That is ‘Show all your hatred on me’ and then do whatever you want.

I know SS shippers will claim that back hug from Sakura changed his murderous behaviour during the Chunin Exams. Yes. That’s true. But right after that, when Sasuke was fighting Yoroi in a one-on-one combat, his Cursed Seal flares up again. He retracted that seal out of his sheer will and thought about both Sakura and Naruto who was freaking out without even knowing about the seal. So, it’s not only a Sakura exclusive moment. The creator even went ahead and drawn a panel asking Sakura to not say anything about the Curse Mark to Naruto. Why do that?

As far as I understand, Sasuke saw Naruto and felt the warmth of his family. He singled that out in chapter 698. When Naruto was placed in the same team as him, he started to extend his good side to his other team members as well. But the moment he decided to leave the village, he severed the ties with Sakura (was there ever one apart from considering her as a teammate?) by saying Thank You. Meaning, you helped me many times so thanks for all of that. What’s more pitiful is, he didn’t even look at her face for the entire conversation except for saying ‘You are really annoying’. There is nowhere in the manga where Sasuke singled out Sakura for making him feel anything and did something for her exclusively. It’s all in the context of Team 7.

If Sakura is the most important person in Sasuke’s life, he should have stopped the rampage the moment he saw her but instead he got riled up more and more. Which explains where Sasuke kept her in his heart. Literally nowhere. He threw her into the trash. LOL.

If Hulk can calm down after seeing Betty Ross and you call that love, why not accept Sasuke loves Naruto??

Powerful Eyes

You know, Even in real life, Our eyes always reflects our true feelings, just like how your body betrays your mind , your eyes even betray your body.

Just like how Itachi could never fake his evil brother act in his final moments.

Just like how Sasuke couldn’t turn away from Itachi when he was approaching him to seemingly snatch his eyes.

Uchiha boys being a romantic bunch, always expose their awakening/ reawakening/ evolving their Sharingan in a most distressed situation. Just like Madara and Sasuke exposed their brimming eyes for Hashirama and Naruto. But in this department, Madara is wildly romantic as always. LOL. Despite losing 3 brothers, he awakened his Sharingan only when he was breaking up with his ‘friend’. And Sasuke, he reawakened / evolved Sharingan when trying to save / breaking up with his ‘friend’. Such a Biological defect!!!!

Poor Sakura pathetically fails in this department.

Anyways this part is not about Sharingan anyway. It’s about how such a powerful eyes becomes powerless before those Blue Eyes.

Eye Symbolism is something I really enjoy exploring in this ship.

Like I mentioned earlier, Sasuke has never shown his emotions atleast starting from Part II. He usually never shows any positive emotions like happiness, laughing, pouting, love, excitement (although he has shown all these towards Itachi and Naruto) and is known for negative emotions like anger, annoyance, hatred.

Look at how Sasuke is glaring with hatred for her insensitive words. She deserved this to be honest.

Now, is there any need to show your fury towards Kabuto?

Since the beginning of the Shippuden, some facts have been established strongly:

1. Sasuke has changed by leaps and bounds in terms of his attitude and hatred.

2. Sharingan is pretty dangerous. Many characters including kurama acknowledges it. Sasuke is very adept at using his Sharingan.

Orochimaru maybe right. But he doesn’t know the weakness. LOL

His hatred has reached to a point where he couldn’t think anything rationally and started to kill everyone, just like how Naruto kicked Sakura in his 4 Tailed Kyuubi Mode engulfed with the hatred of Kurama. Meaning, to reach his goal, Sasuke will kill anyone in his path without any hesitation. This shot is the representation of this.

And yet when he saw those particular Blue eyes, he stops his rampage immediately and visibly shocked even.  That’s the look of ‘why is that blue eyes here?’

You have every right to accuse me that I am over exaggerating this scene. I am not. Even I wanted to think that way too that I am deluding myself. The creator has only consolidated my view pretty strongly.

There’s no need to emphasize on eyes at all. The anime team has went under so much pain to animate this scene in a satisfying and compelling way.

What’s more? The creator even went under further extent to draw a whole page in the manga focusing on their eye contact after the Rasengan vs Chidori clash. Meaning, Sasuke has calmed down visibly and became very easy to reason with.

Trust me, even in your darker / vulnerable moments, your eyes will reflect your true feelings to the person you love. You cannot be stubborn. 

Now did it stop here?? Nope, it happened again in the Final Valley of the End battle too.

Sasuke is usually confident of his Sharingan (rightfully so) and likes to flaunt his eyes just like Madara. He was very sure that he was going to win.

While Sasuke had a clear resolve to kill Naruto when he was showing his back, but the moment he comes close with those Blue Eyes, his heart even pounded strongly (in the anime), and lost the resolve completely which made his Sharingan retract itself unconsciously. Meaning, his eyes betrayed him.

It’s funny that not even a minute ago he was very proud of his Visual Prowess as an Uchiha and his victory is inevitable but the moment he saw those Blue eyes, he just lost. You think I am again exaggerating?. Nope!!!

Oh Dear!!! This doesn’t get more romantic than this. An inescapable gaze from those blue eyes he loved all along.

Sasuke!! What happened to your proud Uchiha eyes?. You just stole Chakra from Naruto, isn’t it? Hints like these are really heartwarming, to be honest.

My entire point is, every character from every arc hypes up Sharingan starting from Zabuza, Haku, Rock Lee, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Kurama and many more, but why put a weakness for Naruto’s eyes? 

What I really loved exploring is the way Sasuke totally expressed everything through his eyes in Episode 478.

Sasuke shows his vulnerability towards Naruto with just his eyes. These are not something you show to everyone. Even when Itachi departed finally after releasing Edo Tensei, Sasuke looked sad, shocked and pained but didn’t cry. He accepted the reality of it. The last time when we saw him crying, it was after knowing the truth of Itachi, facing towards the beach and was weeping unbearably because there was no one else for him in this world. But this time, he is next to the person whom he feels truly loved and he doesn’t mind showing it with his eyes.

Well, on multiple rewatches, the clues for their love was already dropped in the 1st Valley of the End fight itself. Sasuke already lost his resolve to kill by balling his chidori fist rather than ramming through his chest. So the feelings inside the bubble are their honest emotions like always.

The pain on the verge of their separation inside the white bubble is clearly evident from their eyes even in their monstrous form. Even in the manga it was mentioned that ‘I can’t turn my back  Vs  I am not letting you go’

But what they really wanted to be from their childhood was this.

Look at Sasuke, how entranced he was on looking at that innocent boy. Now put yourself at Sasuke’s mind. Will you ever look at your friend like that??? Now, they are probably just 7 here, am not romanticizing. But Sasuke looks enthralled innocently.

But somehow, their paths separated them for who knows how long. But the pain in both their eyes is unbearable. Even the databook, mentioned that separating from Naruto is like ripping half of his body. Well, this proves it.

Now, if they really wanted to portray this as friendship, they never should have given Eye symbolism at all. They should have gone with ‘I was always jealous of you’ thing, like they portrayed in that filler episode 450.I would’ve gladly accepted it as friendship. Because that’s how friends behave when they are jealous and I wasn’t feeling any romance at all. There’s no need of that lengthy monologue on how he was always looking at Naruto and felt pain.

I am telling you, I won’t be looking at my friend like this. 

Unconscious closeness

Remember, I’ve written in the beginning of the post that Sasuke enjoys the warmth from Naruto. Meaning, he likes that person’s presence unconsciously and want to be near him. Sasuke proved this many times.

This is the most intense and confusing section I have to dissect for this post. But it’s the most entertaining nonetheless, atleast for me.

Starting from the Land of the Waves arc, here Sasuke is speed walking to match up with Naruto.

Initially I thought, he is trying to be competitive. But instead of walking ahead of Naruto to show who is faster, he just walks beside him. I find this really hilarious and adorable. This just shows Sasuke likes Naruto’s presence so much so that he wants to walk beside him.

Now many SS shippers tries to make this scene for themselves, when it is clearly not.

If you notice Sasuke in the Bell Training, he compares his strength difference with Kakashi and determines to get stronger. Same with Might Guy, he compares Might Guy’s speed with his own Sensei. Meaning, he respects people with strength. Naturally, he should’ve asked her and Sakura would have given him tips wholeheartedly. Because she really succeeded in that training.

Why bother to ask a deadlast?

The only reason I could find is that he wants to befriend him in his own stubborn way. But Poor Soul!!! He didn’t get the tips anyway. LOL. But despite getting the short end of the stick, he never hold it against him. Just like he never held anything against Naruto when he tied him up in Episode 3. All he did was just flaunt how he escaped.

Pretty cool for a 12 year old kid. Because If I were Sasuke, I would hold it for sure.

Once again Sasuke proves how he can care Naruto in his own adorable way.

He could’ve said ‘I am going to train too” if he really intended to train. There is no need to say ‘Going for a Walk’ and ask Naruto about breakfast. This explains that Sasuke simply missed the boy’s prolonged absence and reached out to him in his own cute way.

Now all these doesn’t mean he was in love with him. It’s just a childish attraction which makes him act like that involuntarily.

I just added this GIF to compare with the next scene.

Now Shikamaru falling on Naruto in an unconventional way doesn’t look anywhere romantic. Instead it’s the opposite. They are pretty friendly here.

But Sasuke’s approach to Naruto does looks undeniably sensual and I couldn’t deny the sexual tension that brings with it. (Even when I watched it for the first time having no idea of shipping anyone, I lowkey got creeped and thought, ‘Sasuke!! What have you become? ’)

This scene is something even I can’t dissect. Because honestly I don’t know. Sasuke is a person who never appreciates physical touches nor does he initiates either.

I get this crazy femme fatale vibe when seeing Sasuke with his sexy costume landing at a speed of lightning with his hands wrapped around Naruto and taunting near his ear about what was he doing there? The only reason I could think of is that maybe he missed him for 3 years which made him go unconsciously so close near Naruto. It’s also funny that he could’ve shoved his sword into Naruto’s heart before landing and no one could’ve batted an eyelid.

Damn you, Kishimoto!!! Is this scene absolutely necessary??? What are you trying to convey? Why do you give Sasuke, a sexualized aura?? I understand you love this character so much and you want this character to be desirable among women. Yeah, you succeeded by making Karin behave like a woman in heat, the moment they met. But instead of letting her get close to him, you made Sasuke to say ‘You... Don’t get so close’ whereas with Naruto, you made Sasuke to go willingly touch him in a half hugging stance. Geez!!!

Here comes the most interesting part in this section.

It may seem irrelevant at the beginning but trust me, it will make sense later.

Before that, I would like to appreciate the creator and especially the anime team to bring the battle sequence so lively and different in its own way. If you notice the purpose of every battle that happened in Naruto series, each carries it own meaning and deliberately distinguished. How you ask?

The fight between Deidara vs Sasuke.

Logically Deidara should be dead in the Gaara retrieval arc itself. There is no point for him to chase Sasuke who killed Orochimaru to whom Deidara had nothing to do with. It didn’t impact the story in any way. But the purpose of that battle is to show how far Sasuke has grown up in those 3 years. The way he can use his Sharingan to analyze his enemies abilities and weakness so quickly and take multiple steps ahead, the way he can use Genjutsu and other incredible jutsus in his arsenal were a visual treat.

Now, let’s analyze Sasuke’s arsenal of Jutsus. He can do Teleportation Jutsu, a decent Genjutsu, Chidori Senbon (needles), Raikiri (Chidori sword which ranges to 5 metres), Chidori Nagash (Chidori from his whole body), Transformation Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu Shuriken Jutsu with wire works, Kirin, Gokakyu No jutsu, Sword fighting, basic Hand-to-Hand fighting (I’ve never seen him do it ever since the Chunin Exams with Orochimaru), Archery fighting, Susanoo, Amaterasu and all the Rinnegan abilities.

Based on the jutsus he learned so far and how he applies in every battle, it all confirms two things:

Sasuke is a Medium-Long Range Shinobi

Sasuke’s battles are usually based on his Cleverness

Let’s go for Naruto. He can do Teleportation Jutsu, Sexy Jutsu, Harem no jutsu, Rasengan, Rasen Shuriken, Oodama Rasengan, Biju Dama, Tailed Beast Mode, Kage Bunshin No jutsu, Sage mode jutsu, Frog Kumite, Better Hand-to-Hand combat skills (better than Sasuke), Transformation Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu and all his Six path abilities.

Compared to Sasuke, Naruto’s jutsu variety is very less. But for every 4 punches from Sasuke equals 1 powerful punch from Naruto. Analyzing all of them,

Naruto is a Close-Range Shinobi except for his Rasen Shuriken

Naruto’s battles are usually based on his Jutsu Timing and Unpredictability

Now, Let’s rewind back to 3 years and look at the 1st Valley of the End battle. That battle was cleverly choreographed which carried very intense emotional baggage. Things we never knew about those boys until then were openly admitted and acknowledged. That is, for Sasuke, Naruto became his closest friend. For Naruto, he always wanted to be Sasuke’s friend way back when he was 6 or 7. For both, they already have some unexplainable bond by just looking at each other and smiling secretly.

The theme of that battle started as Am going on my own path vs I can’t allow you to tread on that dangerous path and ended up with I want to break our bond vs I don’t want to.

Now, this posture represents, Naruto is the one who pursues Sasuke to stop him from whatever he was about to do. Meaning, Naruto is the one who is constantly reaching out and Sasuke as usual kicks him out violently, that is he is pushing him away. That’s the essence of the whole battle.

Considering all the battles in the Naruto universe, I categorize them as follows:

Best Calculated (and emotional) battle - Itachi vs Sasuke

Best Hand-to-Hand combat - Kakashi vs Obito (what a fight it was!!!)

Best Mega Powered Up battle - Hashirama vs Madara

Best Emotional battle - Naruto vs Sasuke (1st valley of the end)

Best Unpredictable/Entertaining battle - Naruto vs Pain

Despite having all the potential to fulfill the above categories, The Final Valley of the End Battle never bested in any of them.

As analyzed before, the boys have grown up to greater heights. I expected a battle between Cleverness of Sasuke Vs Unpredictability of Naruto

But what I observed was something so intense. That is Unintentional closeness.

This battle symbolizes one thing: I am going to kill you to get lonely vs I won’t let you kill me because you will be alone.

Being a long range fighter, I expected Sasuke to go for this.

If you have to kill someone you love, it is best to keep your distance. Sasuke knows this full well when he battled with Itachi. Except for some Sword fighting, he maintained a certain distance to fight Itachi throughout, until the very end.

But when fighting Naruto, all I got was this.

That’s when I finally understood that this posture means, the fight is very personal. Which means, Sasuke or Naruto won’t be fighting by sitting on top of each other with their enemies or anyone else. That’s just between them alone.  

There was no analysis or cleverness from Sasuke’s side or any Unpredictability from Naruto. It was very bland and Sasuke looked clueless throughout the fight.

It started with some boxing style combat, including stealing hand seals and then some power punches. Very quickly it propels to Susanoo vs Tailed Beast mode. I expected some Hashirama vs Madara level power battle.

But all we saw there was this.

I mean, Come on!!! Man. Even the most Crazy and openly Romantic Uchiha, Madara himself never fought like this in Susanoo with Hashirama (Though Madara must be thinking ‘Damn Hashirama! I should’ve tried this with you’. LOL). Those mega battles carried variety of tactics.

Another thing I noticed was, Sasuke is the one who does lots of talking and constantly pursuing Naruto. Whereas Naruto is uncharacteristically quiet for the most part. 

And finally it leads to this.

Sasuke was unconsciously getting closer and closer to Naruto which is the opposite of what he wants to do. Because of that very closeness, he couldn’t look at his eyes with his Sharingan and eventually got an uppercut. It’s like Sasuke was screaming, ‘Hate me’ and Naruto was like ‘Keep talking’.

Every jutsu he had for attacking from a long-range were forgotten. He didn’t even try to put Naruto under Genjutsu. I mean with his Rinnegan, he was capable of putting all the 9 Tailed Beasts into a powerful Genjutsu. Why didn’t he try that with Naruto? There was no Chidori Stream or Lightning Blade.

I can imagine Naruto doing close range fights with someone or even sitting on top of the enemy. Example, part I, Naruto head bumped Gaara. He was literally fighting with his Shadow Clones against a Monster so he had to get closer. Naruto monstrously punching Deidara not knowing the fact that it was a clay clone.

But Sasuke??? Can you imagine Sasuke sitting on top of the enemy and punching to pulp??? No way. Not a chance.!!!

In one way or other way, Sasuke was always in the close proximity with Naruto throughout the battle and touching each other which is totally uncharacteristic of him when compared to his other battles.

Every battle he ever fought was always at a distance which is the clear representation of his own character. He is calculative, analytical, precise and moves fluidly with a flair like a true Ninja unlike Naruto who is always reckless, noisy, powerful and clumsy. 

Sasuke is someone who never lets his emotions get ahead in the battle, unlike Naruto. This is evident from the War when he was yelling at Naruto to stop worrying about Hokage as they were Edo Tensei who can regenerate. Even when fighting with Itachi, he calculated every move and attacked Itachi without any emotions except at the very end. Sasuke in this final battle forgot who he was and telling us viewers “Am just gonna get closer to Naruto and punch him hard”.

In short, Sasuke completely forgot all his battle tactics he had with Itachi and let his emotions get ahead of his cleverness and got himself closer to Naruto which eventually ended up weakening his resolve to kill him. This is what I meant by Unintentional Closeness.

Anyways, what I understood was, the creator didn’t put all this by without any meaning. It’s all very deliberate and drawn carefully.

Moving onto the final and the most defining moments of SNS.

When I watched this scene for the first time, I can’t comprehend the exact meaning. And I forgot about this later because of my excitement to know what happens next. But what I understood on my rewatch is that, the feelings exchanged here is very pure and innocent but distressing.

Sasuke already lost his resolve to kill by not ramming Naruto with Chidori instead balled up his fist. So he is not contemplating whether or not to kill Naruto.

Sasuke made every effort to leave Naruto and succeeded in it too. But somehow, accidentally, when faced with a person whom he considers so precious in such a close proximity, despite have a stinging pain in his arm, he is feeling the warmth he once felt. He just wants that warmth to prolong for some more time and he can’t able to evade it. So he totally gave in to that desire and feeling it unconsciously. Sasuke always watched Naruto (unbeknownst to him) and felt warmth, relief and weakness. This scene is the symbolic and innocent representation of all those feelings when he saw Naruto and he is exeriencing it for the final time. 

Does this means, does Sasuke wants to kiss him? No.

But every symbolism of that being happening is there. It’s just all open to interpretations. The creator could show us how Sasuke fell on his knees and staring at Naruto intently but never intended to show when he got up and left. I don’t understand this twisted mind of the creator.

Added to that, Sasuke was about to say ‘Naruto, I....’ God only knows what he was about to say. But every possibility of Sasuke confessing and kissing is there.

I know the creator cannot approach this directly considering the situations he worked under. But is there any necessity for such an intense scene? Even the anime creators loved this scene and made their own version of making Naruto’s eyes wide open and even more closer.

I wont be watching my friend or sister like that. 

That explains all the way back to this fated accidental scene.

There is nothing special about this scene. It’s all very clear that the kiss was accidental. It was really funny. But my point is why Sasuke never beat him to pulp or even push Naruto away like he did with Sakura and Karin? Why did he stood up for Naruto before Sakura? Why did he let go off Naruto even though he tied him up? Too many leeway for a single person in a single episode. And the most important part is, Sasuke thought it was intentional and remembers the taste. LOL.

Does this means he enjoyed the kiss? Not at all.

Most probably he was shocked to see Naruto in such a close proximity after seeing him from a distance for all those years. And he enjoys this as just another prank from Naruto in his own innocent way. But he won’t mind getting another one from Naruto either.

So, to conclude

I believe I made this post from an objective standpoint without making crazy theories and I don’t have to..... since canonical resources were plenty. Obviously my own bias will also be there which is unavoidable. But I tried to question the creative choices of why this scene even exist in the first place many times. Because those are the scenes which made the most impact inside me.

My first watch of Naruto gave me the benefit of doubt that ‘Are they in love? Nah... They are friends. Maybe I am just overthinking...  but why does it feel different??’ and that too only after finishing episode 478. After rewatching it again and again, it only consolidated my view.

For Sasuke, his worldly ties are pretty thin and runny. He was always a loner from the beginning even when he had his family. He never bothered to make any friends nor did anyone tried to befriend him. He was pretty close to his family especially Itachi. When he lost everything, somehow he got attracted innocently to Naruto and started to like him. But beyond Naruto he never bothered to add anyone in his heart. He considered Kakashi and Sakura were like his acquaintances who helped him a lot and that’s all.

Then after using Orochimaru, he gathered some high skilled shinobi for killing Itachi. But he made it clear that there don’t need to be any understanding but just co-operation would be enough. But along his way, he just abandoned Jugo, Suigetsu somewhere. He openly said to Karin that she is nothing but a burden to him. When his hatred reached upto a maximum boiling point, he didn’t even hesitate to kill Karin, Kakashi or Sakura. But the moment Naruto appears he calmed down. The proof? He was shocked to see Naruto at first. Then Naruto calls, ‘Sasuke!!!’, to which Sasuke responds with, ‘What?’. Despite becoming a maniac, he could find it in his heart to listen to Naruto.

It took an Edo Tenseified Itachi to bring him some rationality to question his beliefs about destroying Konoha. When Jugo and Suigetsu appear again, he casually asked them, ‘What do you want with me at this point?’, I mean, Come On, Man. LOL.  Even during the war arc, when things were about to blast off he only cared about Jugo (who helped him many times, so understandable) and Naruto (Geez!!! LOL).

Even after their final battle, the anime went so far as to create a scene where they were alone in a bright Konoha. But Sasuke looked very peaceful and listening to Naruto intently. When Naruto freaks out about Infinite Tsukuyomi, he casually laughs off and says ‘you still care about the world’. Meaning, he is happy there spending time alone with the person he loves. Doesn’t give a rat’s ass about missing anyone else. (How romantic!!!). Honestly, Sasuke wouldn’t mind if they were to stay that way forever. He would gladly listen to Naruto all day.  But when Naruto disappears he freaks out and starting to make up his mind about joining his brother.

It’s very clear that the people he adores are Itachi and Naruto. Towards Itachi, it’s super understandable, because he is his own brother. But Naruto??? Why should the creator go so far as to make Sasuke adores Naruto even after breaking up with him?

And why make Sasuke possessive about Naruto’s life? When Obito was about to kill Naruto with that Black Orbs, Sasuke blocked him and said ‘You are not the One to sever the past, I am’. I understand the logic behind Sasuke’s possessiveness on Itachi’s life because he destroyed his family, childhood and even Itachi wants Sasuke to be the one to kill him. But why possessive on Naruto? He is not related to him by blood. Naruto never did anything wrong to Sasuke to warrant any hate either. You will become possessive on something only when you truly hate it or wholeheartedly love it. There is no middle ground. My point is why put Naruto here at all in the first place?? Believe me, If Sasuke never paid attention to Naruto in the War arc, I would be the first person to jump out of this ship. 

Just to give you a basic example, Imagine you are living in a place far away from your family, friends and that loveable person. When Corona hits everywhere and forced Lockdown to travel outside the city, and the situation is getting worse day by day. Whom would you desperately reach out first? You would reach the person whom you are connected well in your family and that loved one. You will prioritize your friends only later. This is the Universal truth. Sasuke was seen showing that same instinct in the War arc towards Naruto whom he was not related by blood. And you all just want me to believe Sasuke sees him as just a friend?? Give me a break!!!

If all those traits I’ve mentioned above have been avoided to a greater extent, I would be happy to believe that they are friends. If not all, at the very least delegate some of the tropes to other people or share some of the tropes with other people along with Naruto. But dumping it all on Naruto alone makes me only curious and incredibly romantic too. 

It’s no wonder, Naruto would go so far as to reach out Sasuke even at the expense of his life.

Oh, Did I forget about the cutest and most exclusive trope to SNS?

U-SU-RA-TON-KA-CHI, the most personal word which carries its own meaning and is only for Naruto. So funny that Sasuke has to spend a certain amount of energy to call Naruto using a 6 syllabic word rather than NA-RU-TO, a 3 syllabic word which is much easier.

Disclaimer: This post constituted everything from from Chapter 1 to 699 or Episode 1 to 135 (part 1) + Episode 1 to 479 (Shippuden) excluding fillers. Though Sasuke shinden novel was made into anime, I don’t want to consider that here. As much as I loved the prologue in that novel, I still don’t want to cite that here, as I consider everything after 699 is $$$$ making bullshit.

FUN FACT:

If you put yourself in any character in the Naruto Universe except for Naruto, and ask them, ‘What do you think about Sasuke?’. You know the answer from Sakura, she will say ‘Sasuke-Kun looks very cool and acts aloof, that’s why I love him’. Kakashi will say ‘My favorite student’. And all the other people will say somewhat similar, ‘He is an excellent Shinobi who belongs to the proud Uchiha clan and Naruto’s rival’

But Naruto will be the only person to say this.

“Lot of fun to be around” ....... LOLLLLL.

Me: No, Naruto!!! Clearly not. No one in your universe can have fun with him except you. Go and Ask Sai, Team Taka or your own Team 7. They adore him for being Cool and Talented. But Fun is not the word that equates with Sasuke unless there is no You, Naruto.

Thanks for reading :-D

[fallingsatellive]

I’m not transabled (and I am disabled) and I do feel like the thing as a whole is a huge mess of everything but… I don’t think “cisabled” implies privilege? Cisgender does because cisgender people objectively and undeniably have privilege over transgender people, but on its own “cis” means just “on this side” and “trans” on the other…

No, not inherently. At the base definition of the word. My post (which is an old one lol so, genuinely, thanks for digging that up, I've been wanting to go into more detail on it) is a response to the connotation of the word. And how it's used.

Here's the earliest in-earnest post I could find on "cisabled":

As far as I can tell, the term "transabled" was inspired by both the transgender and transspecies communities, and physical or psychological transition (I do not know how they intend to psychologically transition) is the central point. "Transabled" as a term is derivative of "transgender," and it seems to me that the coiners of the word were not aware that the trans in transgender is not short for transition, because every definition of transabled I see is centered around this transition.

With "transabled" being derivative of transgender, if you follow the line of thinking here, it's clear that "cisabled" is derivative of "cisgender." Cisgender in almost all contexts implies privilege. No matter what the root word means, or whether the coiners didn't intend it, the coining of "cisabled" implies that the cisabled group holds some privilege over the transabled group. And by including disabled people in this group, frankly, it pisses me off. (Sorry it's 4 am and I lost my train of thought a little bit there.)

OP of what I think is the coining post here describes physically disabled people as "making a choice to remain in their [disabled] body." Unless I forgot somehow, my chronic pain wasn't a choice, my autism wasn't a choice, my mental illness was not a choice, and none of them "constitute normality" in an ableist society. Ableism as a system does not differentiate between people who were born with missing limbs and people who removed them through surgery, it leaves neither with any kind of abled privilege. But that also has to mean it doesn't differentiate between a "transautistic" person, and an allistic person. Or a "transdeaf" person and a hearing person. Etc. People who identify as transabled cannot claim marginalization, they are abled in a world that wants them to be abled and celebrates them for being abled. They cannot claim oppression especially at the hands of disabled people desperately trying to hold our spaces together. I have seen people get up in arms about gatekeeping, comparing us to transmeds, comparing us to TERFs for telling them they are not disabled. All cisabled is to me is an ableist term.

I can't even respond to this properly. It makes me sick. I hope it's a troll. Gender and race are not the same thing. Gender and disability are not the same thing. The sheer lack of nuance in these communities is astounding. And the surplus of nerve is nothing short of disgusting.

For what it's worth, I'm all for bodily autonomy. I think that if a person with BIID wanted to (edit: safely!) remove one of their limbs or one of their senses, then they should. But it doesn't make me a violent transphobe to say that an abled person is not disabled, or that an allistic person can't just say they're "socially transitioning" to autistic, because disability is not the same kind of social category as gender. And neither is race, while we're at it.

Please come back and tell me if this doesn't make sense. But do it after 1 pm because I don't think I've slept in the past 24 hours. And I'm gonna go to bed now.