#inspiration: Harry Potter incorrect quotes

[a-great-tragedy]

Marauders powerpoint night

Mary: Marriage material? Or to the streets? Featuring James, Sirius, Marlene, Barty, and me.

Regulus: Who would survive the hunger games, who would die, and why (Spoiler: I win)

Sirius: How I would escape prison

Peter: How I would get away with murder

Lily: Keeping up with the valkyries (My friends as the Kardashians)

Pandora: My summoning spirts routine <3

James: Regulus hasn’t done anything wrong and I love him

Evan: Why you should donate your bodies for me to dissect

Remus: Rating public places I have cried at

Marlene: Things I would do for an electric guitar but it gets worse

Dorcas: Our celebrity scandals

Barty: Birds aren’t real, an essay

[incorrectquotesharrypotterv]

*Y/n and Draco on a date, sitting on a park bench*

Draco: It's very nice date. Me and you Y/n...

Draco: Theo

Y/n:

Draco:… and your best friend between us.

Theo (eating ice cream): You want some?

[roselookingatthemoon]

Lily and Regulus are learning together in the Great Hall and Remus excitingly runs up to them:

Remus: Guess what?

Lily: You can finally ride a broom properly?

Remus: No.

Regulus: You got the potions homework right for once?

Remus: ...no.

Lily: Do we get a hint?

Remus: Something I talked about recently.

Lily: Did something happen with Professor Ferox?

Remus: Lily!

Regulus: You made a move on my brother?

Remus: Guys, who do you think I am?

Lily: A hormonal teenager who falls for every other guy.

Remus: ...

Regulus: So what is it?

Remus *puts a book down*: My new book arrived...

[gummybearinthehouseee]

ron: on a scale from one to ten, how bad of an idea do you think it would be if we got married?

harry: off the charts. lets do it.

[daddiesdrarryy]

Hermione, to Ginny: I was thinking maybe I could have, like a breast reduction surgery

Pansy *in the distance*: NOOOOO!

Hermione: It’s a boob reduction, Pansy, just accept it

Pansy: Acceptance is stage five. I’m grieving, Hermione, there are five stages of grief. Stage one was denial

*flashback*

Pansy: This is not happening

Hermione: Yes it is

Pansy: This is not happening

Hermione: Yes it is

Pansy: You’re not getting a boob reduction

Hermione: Yes I am

*end of flashback*

Pansy: Stage two was anger

*flashback*

Pansy: Your breasts belong to all of us! Who are you to decide?

*end of flashback*

Pansy: Next will be stage four, depression. And then stage five, acceptance. But now, I’m firmly planted in stage three, bargaining

Pansy: Dear Salazar, if you stop Hermione’s breast reduction, I will circumcise Ron

Hermione: …

[fangirlingismygame]

Sirius (at 3am probably): Hey, why aren't koalas considered bears?

Remus (trying to sleep) : Because they're marsupials

Sirius: BecAUsE TheY're mArSUPIals, No! It's cause they don't have the right koalifications

Remus: 😑

[nixster627]

Jin Ling: My dad didn't strut, and neither do I.

Wei Wuxian: We called him peacock for a reason.

[riverxsong-ao3]

Harry: Look, Tom, I found us this spooky Muggle movie to watch! It's called "The Ring." Tom: *looking it up* It's about... a cursed video that kills you a week after you watch it. And they show the cursed video in the movie?! Harry, shrugging: And? Tom: Harry, I am going to say this as nicely as I can. Throw that blasted movie straight into the fire.

[a-great-tragedy]

Barty: *Walks past Evan with a knife*

Evan: Is that for your father?

Barty: ….yes

Evan: *takes Barty’s knife away from him* I don’t think so

Evan: *hands Barty a machete* There, much better

[redadidassneakers]

James: I’m uno

Sirius: I’m dos

Remus: and I’m cuatro

Random guy: what happened to très?

James: we do not speak of très

Random guy: oh

[crackishincorrecthp]

*Harry, Hermione & Ron are just having a bit of fun together* Random Hogwarts student: Shouldn't you be doing something to stop You-Know-Who instead of having fun, Potter? Ron: Hermione: Harry: Hermione: And...3...2...1. Harry: Are you fucking insane?!Do you think I'm not fucking trying?! When I was 11 I killed our DADA Professor 'cause he had Voldy in the back of his head; I've fought and killed a fucking basilisk and also a younger version of Voldy as well when I was 12; when I was 14 I fought Voldy and saw as he killed a friend right infront of me and when I was fucking 15 I was called crazy, insane, attention seeker, unhinged and many other things by everyone just because you all refused to see the truth. Everyone decided I was pure evil just because of a fucking language I can speak, but then I saved the school so that was okay and I never got any apology for the insults and the bullying...You have some nerve coming here and treating me like some kind of emotionless weapon when I'm a fucking human being and I'm only fucking 16. So get the fuck out here and never talk to me or my friends again. Random Hogwarts student: Ron: You heard him! Don't just stand there! Go away! Hermione: Usually I would be nicer, but you really overstepped. So, go away!

[gummybearinthehouseee]

ron: that's not funny

harry: i thought it was

hermione: you don't count. you started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on facebook

[prismolovesfanfiction]

Ron: Are you a witch or not?

Hermione: Not really! I've only known magic existed for a year

[lolli-says-stuff]

Voldemort: That’s it you’re on time out, get on the fucking stone!

Harry: this house is a fucking nightmare!

Inspired by this fanfic :)

[wolfstarluver]

i am a firm believer that james potter was a bob dylan stan

[motherfvckingmoony]

Sad James/Remus Friendship

*Remus helping James with his homework*

James: I love you, Moony.

Remus: it’ll pass.

*James after Remus gave him relationship advice for Lily*

James: YES! I LOVE YOU!

Remus: it’ll pass.

*After James and Remus have a heart-to-heart*

James: y’know we all love you Remus. I love you.

Remus: it’ll pass.

*Remus standing by James’ grave after he died*

Remus, whispering: I love you too, Prongs.