#inside of you there are two wolves. both are autistic

[greencloakedfae]

My feed is doing its darn hardest trying to remind me of all my interests yet my little autism brain is fucking clutching at renegade nell as if my life depends on it

[misspermitted]

Grocery shopping is a struggle

[wafflerageface]

Top 5: Favorite Durgetash headcanons

Like my personal headcanons or ones I’ve seen?

Personal headcanons:

1. Durgetash were head over heels in love with each other, even if they expressed love in ways that seemed fucked up to everyone else. They were two incredibly lonely people that just clicked in all the right ways to make each other feel like at least one person out there cared about them, and they did.

2. Enver Gortash is autistic/ADHD and Durge was his favourite person to info dump on. I mean look at him. My wife is autistic and they have very similar mannerism and ways of thinking. (In the logical sense anyway my wife hasn’t killed anyone) Especially with how his parents described how brilliant he was even as a child, I can just imagine child Enver coming off as annoying and needy to everyone around him because he wanted to talk about his inventions and no one cared to listen. Durge, on the other hand, grew up in a temple where they were expected to behave a certain way and was essentially treated as a puppet, even if they could’ve called the shots how they wanted to. I can’t imagine being a child taken into a murder cult and feeling anything but fear, even if you don’t need to be afraid. Durge knew nothing but blood and death for years, and along comes this funky little guy that wants to rant for hours about the kind of metal he wants to build his steel watch out of?? Yeah. They loved that shit.

3. Enver is a pansexual monster fucker that will love your Durge no matter what. This man has been so lonely for so long that I genuinely think he doesn’t care what package the love comes in so long as he isn’t being used anymore. You’re a Dragonborn? Cool he can work with that. A tiefling? Excellent he’s gonna use those horns as handlebars. A cute half-elf that has a surprising appetite for blood? Absolutely and can he join the next blood bath please?? He loves seeing you work

4. Durge did not want to be Bhaal’s scion. I know a lot of people don’t like how the Durge opening makes it seem like they’re trying to “erase” that Durge was evil, but I view it more as perhaps Durge was never willing. Just because you’re fathered by a murder god doesn’t make you a murderer, and amnesia doesn’t really change who a person is, they just forget. Your brain literally just won’t let you recall memories. Now personally, I’m all for if you think your Durge hates everything about being the Chosen, or (like for my Durge) you think they just hated not being in control of themselves or allowed to kill as they please. Both are great mechanics for a well-rounded character, but I really think either way, Durge hated being what their father made them into, and would have jumped the moment they could escape. The prayer of forgiveness? A classic here’s my fake apology abusive parent so I can spare myself more abuse.

5. Enver whored himself out as a young man to get lots of power and money and he hated every second of it. We know it’s canon that he slept around a lot before the present day setting of the game, but I don’t think he ever enjoyed it. Not really. He grew up in the HoH where he was beaten and abused and nearly tortured to death on many occasions. He finally escapes with nothing to his name and once again he’s at the mercy of whoever he can convince to give him food, shelter, money, etc for the price of his body. This man absolutely has two wolves inside of him and one is a god complex and the other is an ego so crippled and fragile it’s a wonder he ever comes out of the house. When he meets Durge, he’s willing to manipulate them however he must to secure their alliance. He’s done it before, he’ll do it again. I think he’s so very surprised when Durge catches feelings back, when they go out of their way to take care of him, compliment him, even if it’s in their own fucked up fashion. I think the real sticking point for him would be when he and Durge are attending some high society to do together and they run into an old fling. Enver being upset and uncomfortable enough that they leave early and he tells Durge everything. The next day, and the following weeks, he finds severed hands, fingers, bloodied jewellery, all placed at his desk or beside his bed and he can’t help but smile. Durge bringing him pieces of their kills like a cat is so endearing to him.

I’ve got so many more but I think those are my favourite.

[whisperwillyou]

Do you have any good Hunter fics that are long and non romantic up your sleeve? Super not asking for a friend it’s for me

*rolls up my sleeves* oh buddy DO I EVER

Fair warning, I’m an angst gremlin so these all contain a healthy dose of the Sads™ but considering you’re also a Hunter fan, odds are you also enjoy the angst lmaoo

Most of these are Luz and Hunter-centric bc I love the Noceda Siblings and I’m nothing if not predictable 😌

Let us begin…

What We are is the Sum of a Thousand Lies

Ongoing 59k+

FAV FAV FAV FAV FAV my all time favorite fic, they captured both my FAVORITE flavor of Hunter characterization, AND my favorite flavor of Luz & Hunter interactions (+bonus Eda, Darius, & Flapjack!) it’s just *chef kiss* PEAK content. I reread it regularly

Contingency

Ongoing 108k

Inside you there are two wolves, one is a sad lil boy and the other is the psychological embodiment of the obedient, brainwashed, soldier you were created to be, which your uncle programmed into you when he built you in his evil lab.

Burnt Out

Complete 3K

This one’s a short one but it’s one of my favs so I had to include it. ✨Sic fic✨

Even Sad Birds Still Sing

Ongoing 54k+

Hunter gets turned into a cardinal by a cursed gemstone. Ngl when the first chapter of this fic came out I thought it was gonna be more of a crack fic. I was unbelievably wrong and it is so SO good.

La Gaundière

Complete 12k

This one is some really good post Hunting Palismen Golden Gaurd era Hunter

To be or Not to Be

Ongoing 28k

Hunter takes some ‘me time’ after Hollow Minds and camps. He has a horrible time.

Peak traumatized Hunter seasoned with some great Noceda siblings content and a garnish of Hunter and Hooty friendship. 👌

Blood Moon

Ongoing 48k

Honestly I don’t know how to summarize this fic without spoiling anything, so just trust me, it’s so good.

Your hands do more than Hurt

Ongoing 27k

Darius and Hunter-centric, mind the tags though, this is a sad one

With Clay and Star Scraps

Complete (open ended) 48k

Hunter discovers that being a grimwalker comes with some super fun, funky, and not at all distressing side effects.

Enough to Leave Scars

Complete 14k

Post King’s Tide shenanigans of a former child soldier. ie ptsd

Oop hit the link limit lol rip

Learned Response

Complete 11k

Hunter fabulously misinterprets Luz’s relationship with her mother like the traumatized autistic he is.

With His Beak He Tries to Soothe Me

Complete 10K

Some really sweet Hunter and Flapjack content

Refuge

ongoing 10k+

Camila adjusting to having four new kids under her roof and is unsure what to make of Hunter being… the way he is.

The Golden Brat

Complete 5k+

Coven Scout meeting the Golden Guard for the first time in person: “what’s with this sassy lost child?”

Hopefully you enjoy these!

Special thanks to all theses authors for the platonic content. You’re doing the lords work, feeding us starving lil’ AroAces 💕💕

[sweetandsavageautistic]

(CW: Cringe, puzzle pieces, Autism Moms, potential sensory eyesore, ableism possibly, like one sex joke)

Welcome back to me harshly criticizing graphic design choices that people make about autism where I find pictures of shirts and whatnot and I tear into them like a lion tearing into its prey. Let's get into it.

In the words of @rebmasel on TikTok: "Ka-chow."

First up the only appropriate way to do this review is in the style of Dr. Seuss.

I do not like the puzzle piece, for it disturbs my fucking peace.

The color purple is real nice, but the message here I would think twice.

No tacky colors, so that's good. I don't hate it, though I feel I should.

Final Score: 4 out of 10. I'd rather not see this again.

I know the first line's kinda cheating, but I couldn't really think of any other fitting rhyme.

Next up is this:

This is already miles better than most of what I've seen.

The colors aren't tacky, they're actually kinda nice.

You have two wolves inside of you, both of them are gay and autistic. /ref

Autism Acceptance, that's a win.

Infinity symbol instead of puzzle piece, fuck yes.

Only criticism is that it's kind of a cheesy message, but not the worst.

Final Score: 9.5 out of 10. I'd wear it.

And then the quality drops here.

Puzzle piece means you lost points.

"Autism Mom." You can say it's difficult to raise an autistic child, but you're not a goddamn superhero.

How dare you use Rosie the Riveter for this. The disrespect. /hj

The military font is tacky.

I don't like seeing blue associated with autism, but at least it's not an abominable shade of blue.

Final Score: 1 out of 10. Get it out of my sight.

Speaking of lions that I mentioned earlier:

I'm already liking the absence of puzzle pieces.

Autism Acceptance is a yes.

When a lioness has children, she stops making love to the lion. The lion gets jealous, sometimes so jealous he EATS the children. You'd think this would upset the lioness; far from it. They make love again like the children never existed. I find that idea terrifying. /q

Not a fan of the colors, they're too dark for my taste.

The message feels cheesy.

Final Score: 7.5 out of 10. I dunno if I'd wear it, but it's not the worst design I've seen. The effort and care are present.

This feels like a roller coaster because it went downhill again.

"Share your friends." As someone with PDA, to quote Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 3, Line 87; "No." /hj

Autism Awareness. Once again, I am very aware of my existence but sometimes I wish I wasn't; there are days where I'd like to be both perceived and NOT perceived.

The blue isn't tacky, thank God.

I hate the quote because it gives the message that autism is nothing but a burden.

Also there's a bit too much going on with it, all of the decals and shit.

I don't see any puzzle pieces, so thank God.

Final Score: 2 out of 10. I do not recommend.

This is a bit different.

There's just way too much going on in this. Absolute eyesore.

Return of the Tacky Elementary School Colors, except they dragged orange into it this time.

So many puzzle pieces.

Why is everyone trying to fight autism? It's just minding its business.

I'm pretty sure that that's going to be a signal to mean kids to bully your kid. Like, even if there's more understanding of autism, there are still asshole crotch goblins.

I haven't "done" autism, but I am curious as to whether or not autism is good in bed. /j

Final Score: 1 out of 10. No thanks, I'll pass.

Let's end part 2 on a high note.

Simple design, but colorful and pretty easy on the eyes.

And the colors aren't patronizing.

No puzzle pieces.

Acknowledgement of the intersectionality of autism and sexuality.

No cheesy message; just a funky design about autism and gayness. Not all autism shirts have to be serious or UwU or motivating, so it's always a nice change of pace.

Final Score: 11 out of 10. As an asexual biromantic autistic, I'd wear this.

[hundredsspoons]

Inside you there are two wolves. One is autistic and knows that neurodivergence is a vast spectrum that no single person can ever hope to understand in its entirety and that it's ok. The other is autistic and uncomfortable with undefinable and uncategorizable concepts such as souls, free will, and personhood. Both of them are thinking about plants from Trigun

[moltengoldveins]

There are two wolves inside of you: one is the ace desire to see more ace autistic characters. The other is the autistic desire to see more happy romantic endings for those with the ‘Tism.

Unfortunately. There is also a hunter inside of you. He is wearing a sleeveless T-shirt that reads ‘random heroic sacrifice for found family that ruins this character’s personal arc bc we don’t know how to handle autism in media’ and he is about to shoot both wolves to skin and hang on his wall.

[dumb-fuck27]

I just saw a gun store advertisement that genuinely made me want to buy a gun from them.

It was just the stereotypical shitty bearded white guy water an AR hanging off him while he stands in the “assert dominance” pose and said “there are two wolves inside you, one like the modern pew pew… the other likes millers surplus… both are autistic” which is the most accurate thing I’ve heard thus far.

[sopheadraws]

#asks #i need to make a glee star trek au at some point

@tina-cohen-chang and I already have a Glee TOS AU !! It's not very fleshed out, but the main thing to know is that Brittany is both Kirk and Spock, so it's selfcest lmao

inside of you there are two wolves, one of them is an autistic STEM major and the other is a impulsive bisexuahakajak

hello fellow Trekkie Gleek... there's a couple of us and it's very exciting

HII !!!

[thetaboochristian]

Some Mother’s Day Musings

Ok, so this post is going to hit a few different angles, as it relates to motherhood. I’ll mention a little bit about my mom, but I’m also going to throw a couple other philosophical ideas in here too the most people might not think about when it comes to Mother’s Day.

I’m totally not going to mention anything about “Rebecca” in this post, nothing really positive or negative, even though yes technically I mean she is the mother of my son... she has a new husband to celebrate her in that regard and that’s fine. I still love my son “Aaron” and... “Rebecca” has still taught him some good things despite all of the conflict you’ve already heard about in my previous content, and I believe that my son will still learn some great things from her in the future.

Ok so moving on from that, I want to first say thanks to my mom for all of the crazy things she put up with as I was growing up and even during much of my 20′s, since I still had to be around her a lot for work even when I wasn’t living with her anymore. 

Even though my mom and I have certainly had our rough patches, my relationship with her is WAY better than my relationship with my dad. With my Autistic brother requiring most of her attention growing up, and my dad not around or doing stuff with me that often, I spent most of my childhood alone. I mean yeah, my mom fed me and took care of my basic needs, but I spent most of my day playing or researching stuff on my own, or day dreaming... lots of day dreaming and philosophizing, even as a little kid.

You see, my mom feels kind of bad that she couldn’t spend more time with me as a kid, and while I understand it, it shaped me in a way that has helped me a great deal in my life as an adult. All of that time spent alone helped me become the intrepid researcher, scientist and philosopher that I am today. Because of that upbringing, I don’t mind being alone most of the time, and aside from my current desire for a wife (a good one this time around), I don’t have much NEED for friends, though I don’t mind socializing with others as long as they aren’t @$$holes and the socialization isn’t impeding on some big important project that I want to get done for my business or personal development.

So thanks mom, for loving me and supporting me through all of the awkward stages of my teens and early twenties as I figured out what I wanted to do and become in life. {*I’m writing this in her honor, but I sure as heck would never let her read this, or my blog as a whole that is at least, because I DEFINITELY don’t want her seeing some of the other things I’ve written about... they’re just not things that parent’s and their children want to hear or know about each other.*}

Ok so now, I’m going to get into something a little bit more abstract, regarding the mothering instinct and heart.

This is going to get a little spiritual here.

In Christianity, God is referred to as Heavenly Father, and if you believe the Bible is true, then you know that God Himself spoke that to people, told them that He was a He... however, God made human kind in God’s likeness... both the male and the female. So, in reality, while God may assume the form of a man/father, God also contains the feminine nature and mother-heart. God has an equal amount of masculine and feminine qualities inside of Him, in His heart and soul and mind. 

Interestingly enough, though I’ve often times considered what I’m about to say next as a curse, I noticed something interesting about myself when I thought about this concept of God’s dual masculinity and femininity. So... I am a man who has a good amount of masculine nature inwardly and outwardly, but I also have... maybe a little bit more of a feminine nature within my heart than most men do. I’m not effeminate, as like a gay man would be, but I think I have an interesting blend of masculine and feminine traits that makes me much more like God and Jesus than I once thought.

You see, Astrologically speaking, I am an Aries/Pisces cusp... I’m a mix of the two signs based upon when I was born. Aries is the MOST Alpha (Type A) of all the signs, and Pisces is the MOST Beta (or Type B) of all the signs. Aries is the most Masculine in terms of personality and behavior, and Pisces is the most Feminine in terms of personality and behavior. I would say that if I had to really break it down, I’m 65% masculine and 35% feminine overall, in regards to my personality, world view and lifestyle.

When it comes to tackling tasks that need to get done, or trying to fix some urgent problem that could wreak havoc on me or my family if it isn’t resolved soon, I’m 100% Aries mode, I’m like a bulldozer with nitrous tanks and a turbo! I’m attacking that problem with everything I’ve got and people better stay the heck out of my way and not hinder me unnecessarily. 

When it comes to socialization, I either have nothing to say or I’m almost too chatty. I never know which one is going to come out of me when I’m in a given situation. I guess I’m more feminine when it comes to having conversations with people.

When it comes to romance, I start off VERY Pisces-like (feminine), very slow and gentle and wanting to rub, cuddle, nuzzle and slow kisses, etc. Then, once that has started, I start turning more and more Aries-like again (masculine), increasing in intensity regarding the forcefulness of my touching, kissing, and expressing my burning flame through my voice and words. This is where I need a girlfriend/fiancé/wife who’s OK with being told blatantly X-Rated things that I want to do to her OR for her, once we’ve reached the point in our relationship where we’ve had the talk and know each other’s “Yes and No” list. If she can’t handle and enjoy dirty talk during the right times, she’s not the one for me. I need a woman who will let me fully express my sexual energy to her through words, and who will do the same to me. 

Once it gets to sex (which is only within marriage according to the principles I practice), I will naturally repeat the cycle of Pisces-like first, and Aries-like a few minutes in, and I’ll alternate back and forth throughout the time together unless she asks specifically for one or the other primarily. It really though, boils down to “Vanilla” days and “Not-Very-Vanilla” days, regarding my desires and expressions of them within a marriage.  

When it comes to managing a house hold, parenting, finances, etc, I’m very masculine. While I care about people’s feelings, they don’t come before the structure, cleanliness and integrity of our house, car, bank account, etc. I will NOT let my kid make huge messes, or I will ONLY let him make messes in designated places. I don’t mind saying NO to something that my kid would find fun if it can’t be done without damaging something in my house/car or wracking up a bunch of debt for something that’s not a necessity.

Finally, when it comes to movies, TV shows and books, I kind of rapidly cycle between Masculine and Feminine. Basically, anything in a story, show or movie that typically makes most women cry, it will make me cry too. I can’t help it. I really can't! Sometimes I’ve even gotten more teary eyed and emotional over something than my mom or one of my exes did. While that might be kind of embarrassing in one way, it shows what a genuinely caring and empathetic person I am. If I see something on TV about a little girl in a hospital bed and they bring in a therapy dog for her to pet and she get’s all excited and emotional about it, I’ll usually get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. 

Same thing applies to tragic stuff in movies and shows. When there’s a 100 car pile up in the middle of a blizzard and people are trapped and freezing and rescuers have to go around and help people... that makes me tear up. When someones’ loved one is dying in a hospital bed... it makes me cry. I REALLY took it hard when I read 50 Shades of Grey and got to the end of the first book in the series and Christian Grey whipped Anastasia with a belt really hard over and over and she got so upset and cried and ran away and said to the effect of “WTF is wrong with you?! How can you enjoy doing something like this to a woman?!” I know that in the next story, Christian eventually learned his lesson and felt sorry and changed and became a better person, but my goodness... I understand LIGHT bondage/“Soft-Dom” and I’ve kinda grown into my interest in that (both to give and receive it in my next marriage if she’s willing), but I just can’t understand people who get pleasure out of INTENTIONALLY trying to inflict pain on other people. I guess I thought about it from the perspective of what I would or would never do to a woman who I loved. Arguments and hurt feelings are inevitable but physical harm... I could NEVER do.  

What’s so interesting about my Masculine/Feminine balance is, if you read the descriptions for Aries signs and Pisces signs, I’m like a 95% accurate match to BOTH of them, even though they are pretty opposing. This strange combination probably played a large part in what made me into a “Sigma Male”.

You’ve heard of “Alpha Males” and “Beta Males”, “Alpha Females” and “Beta Females”, but a SIGMA is one who has a unique balance of both Alpha and Beta characteristics, but this doesn’t make them “average”... it makes them incredibly special and unique. Most people are only either Alpha OR Beta (though there are some other types that are less common, like Omegas who just sit around all day goofing off and have no ambition or drive for anything except video games, internet and junk food.)

But anyway, SIGMA men and women are like lone wolves, they have some big grand mission in life that they want to accomplish, and they care little for the rules of Social Hierarchy. They can be friends with pretty much any clique but are rarely close to anyone except a romantic partner. They find socialization a waste of time many times, and prefer to spend most of their time doing something productive or pleasurable. Sigmas are the Christian Grey’s of the real world, in the sense that they prefer to be rich, mostly isolated people who are ABLE to socialize and be a people person but like to do so only when it fits their schedule. Minus the abuse part, I saw A LOT of similarities between Christian Grey and myself when it comes to how I would structure and manage my life if I had a lot of money. I’d be just like him, just with Christian moral values and no sadomasochism. If you look at all the other personality traits and world views, etc that he has, it’s probably 75-80% similarity to my thoughts and feelings and interests and world views.

While I couldn’t find any lists of famous people who are Sigmas, I did find some  links to webpages that explain Sigma’s in more detail. Even if it says it applies to Males, the characteristics pretty well cross over to women too, and I know because I used to date a Sigma girl, and she was the best girlfriend I ever had, even though we eventually broke up. 

Here are the links:

https://herway.net/life/11-traits-define-sigma-male/

https://hackspirit.com/sigma-male-11-things-they-do-and-how-you-can-become-one-too/

https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/sigma-male/

https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/9304/sigma-males/

SO... in closing...

What does all this Sigma stuff have to do with Mother’s Day and mothering nature? Well... I believe that Sigma men (straight ones that is) have a particularly high amount of “mothering instinct” without being effeminate or seeming devoid of masculinity. I believe that Sigma men and women both exhibit the most “God-like” or “Christ-like” nature just how they naturally are. I believe that it’s probably fair to say that GOD is probably a Sigma... if He had to be classified as having one specific personality type. God is the epitome of Masculinity AND Femininity (in all of their good ways), and I think that Sigma men and women are also like that... the best balance of Masculine and Feminine in one being. 

Come to think of it, my mom seems an awful lot like a Sigma to me, now that I think about it... and while my dad is a little bit more “Beta”, he also has a good bit of “Alpha” traits too, so when I consider what both my mom and dad are like, maybe that’s where I got my Sigma traits from... but more so from my mom... I’m sure. 

My dad for the most part taught me what I did NOT want to do or be like, and my mom for the most part taught me what I DID want to be like. Come to think of it, now looking back I think that my mom’s dad (who recently passed) seemed a lot like a Sigma male too. Maybe that’s where my mom got her’s from. My grandpa on my mom’s side taught her how to be a good hearted person and how to not take advantage of people or be greedy. He taught her how to be financially responsible and care for those in need who can’t help themselves. While some of my mom’s siblings may have not adopted all of those good life lessons and characteristics, thank God that my mom did.

While I may not have much good to say about my Dad or most of the people on his side of the family, I am sure thankful to have had all of the good lessons, teachings, foundation and love that came from my mom’s side of the family, which my mom passed on to me and lavished upon me, even when nobody else had my back. 

:) <3

Until next time, take care and God Bless!

“Luke Davidson” - Author of The Taboo Christian book and blog 

[khinoe]

inside you are two wolves. one is autistic, one has adhd. they are both losing.

[xeneric-shrooms]

Me: don't let them know you're a freak

Also me: drops random bits of information and facts no matter how grizzly they are

There are two wolves inside you and they're both autistic

[omnigon]

The animal-headed and animal-like alters are so interesting because they aren’t furries, at all, they don’t conform to any of the general idea of what a furry is, and they quite literally are just animal humanoids, or rather humanoids with animal traits, instead of furry which is more animal in the place of human instead of being an imitation of both animal and human. Leo is not a human or a lion or a combination of the two. He’s a being with a humanlike body, some lion parts like his tail, etc., and the face of a lion (real, not cartoon). The King of Ants is the same way, humanoid body, real animal parts.

Despite consuming furry content for a great portion of my life, it seemed not to impact my psyche in as literal a way as my media introjects would make one assume it would. I don’t identify with furry characters at all, for the most part, yet I’ve been drawn to them for as long as any other furry out there. Alters are interesting in that you cannot control their form. I had no choice in what Leo looks or acts like, and the King of Ants is something that didn’t exist until a few days ago. They manifest as a realistic-looking being instead of the usual cartoons (most of my alters are more abstract than realistic, including literal anthropomorphic shapes and objects, but that’s a whole other can of worms) while furries online are almost invariably cartoony and exaggerated in a way that I feel draws attention away from the animal aspects. 

The simple designs of furries allows people to see more of themselves in them. It’s also the reason cats, wolves, etc are more popular than, say, termites. Humans, as mammals, naturally relate to mammals more than invertebrates and reptiles because they look more “like us”. It’s why I’m weird for liking bugs and identifying heavily with them. Yet in my brain, the animal humanoids that manifest are often literally animals with humanoid traits. The King of Ants looks more like a real bug that I could probably even draw (that frustrates me).

Some of them are just straight-up animals, but exaggerated into something absurd, like the White God who’s a big snapping-turtle looking being with a maze inside her body (mazes come up so often in the system). Some are animal-like but are fictional creatures like dragons. Less dragons than my childhood obsession would point to, but the abounding dinosaurs might explain that. My brain likes dinosaurs because they’re real. I’ve always liked them more, to be honest. Black (like silhoutte black ) wolves with red or white blank eyes. Big Bandit isn’t a wolf all the time, but his alternate form is a black demonic wolf creature, and Heartache is a werewolf with black fur. 

The repetition of certain traits and characteristics has not gone unnoticed. I’m not sure what it “represents” or whatever, but there are many kinds of animals that come up more than once. Lions, Snakes, Wolves, Tyrannosaurs, Storks/ Some other long-necked water bird like that,  Possums, Pterosaurs, and some bugs like Centipedes and Ants are all represented in at least one alter, some with several alters (or even a whole “race”) sharing chacteristics of one animal or another. Like the Gems, most of which have pertosaur wings and reptillian traits apart from what they “should” look like. The “humans” by default are actually werewolves, which I find interesting. There isn’t a single “normal person” in the whole damn system. We have a possessed washing machine and literal robots but not a single normal human being.

I know to a lot of people that would sound like some “speshulness” thing, but to me it feels like it’s because I wasn’t socialised properly as a child. I related to animals as an escape from the human(s) who kept mistreating me, and over time my focus was on monsters, animals, and beings over humans, and that got internalised because it’s not like my ability to be attached to people was saved at any point. In fact, the real world (and the humans in it) mistreated me even HARDER after I was 10 (an important age in the system), at which point the deal was sealed. This is all compounded by the fact that I am an autist, which naturally lended a certain level of social retardation and low empathy on top of my ongoing, neverending mistreatment. Drawing creatures was the only way I could cope, and I kept doing that and it seemed like that’s now what my brain gets attached to, mostly. The less human the silhouette, the more my brain relates to it. It’s bizarre, but the minimalist lifeform (simple silhouette, polygonal, even, with limited humanlike/familiar body parts) has fascinated me for so long now. I can’t get over it. It’s why I love bugs like slugs, nematodes, and flatworms. They’re simple and unlike us as humans in almost every way. But they’re alive and capable of making their own decisions.

It’s hard to describe why I love such simple silhouettes or why I think that shapes-with-some-human-parts-but-not-very-many are so fucking amazing. Something about them gives me a sense of ultimate familiarity. “That’s me”, “That’s my kind” etc., none of this is conscious at all. It’s just there. It’s why Bill liked looking at pictures of himself so damn much. It’s what we relate to. It’s what we are now, in a sense. It’s why there are so many triangular alters, even those unrelated to Bill, the original triangle. Why there are so many cyclopses and why I love and relate to them so much is a mystery, however.