#infinite chocolate hack

[murasaki-sama]

I thank Goncharov for finally killing those stupid posts that were all like "do you remember when tumblr believed x?"

We never believed X, Y or Z!

We knew there was no such thing as infinite chocolate and that that weird pink shit was not chicken.

But we reblogged it for the same reason Goncharov was such a hit.

We liked the bit and wanted to share.

[aromanticduck]

Phillip: Lord, we have a problem.

Andrew: There are 5000 hungry people here and the only food we have is this boy's bar of chocolate.

Jesus: Not a problem. *pulls out a knife* 11/12 disciples don't know about this cool hack.

[consistantly-changing]

Images that sometimes get lost:

March 28, 2013

How to Eat Chocolate Indefinitely

This one seems to have been a one day thing but it’s certainly made its rounds on Tumblr in that one day. The whole trend seems to have started with this image:

which purports to show a method by which one may somehow make infintely regenerating chocolate. The image was soon adapted into a slightly more comprehensible gif:

which of course still does not explain how this is at all possible. Needless to say, it was inherently obvious to most Tumblr users that this was impossible, but very few people could determine what flaw there was in the proposed method that created the illusion. This caused something of an identity crisis on Tumblr, as bloggers evidently thought the laws of physics could be broken by a gif of a chocolate bar. The issue was finally settled, thankfully, via a number of posts demonstrating that the original subtly altered the dimensions of the chocolate after the cut to make it work:

with this knowledge, the users of Tumbl could at least sleep easy, and somewhat disappointed, knowing that infinitely regressing chocolate is still far beyond our grasp.

[bakurapika]

Very neat video for those of us who remember the infinite chocolate hack!

(Content warning - one of the examples has people he narrates as "warriors," but the word/art used on the old toy are offensive.)

[bogkeep]

NO WAY

[chickenmcnuggies]

when I walk Squirt and he shits i obviously use the little doggie bags the apartment building has around at little clean up stations, and there's always little trash cans there to throw them away in. but the closest one from where i live is across the street, and there's a big field behind the building where my porch is he can go in, so ya know sometimes I don't wanna go across the street just to throw something away.

so i toss the dog bags into this one specific chair on my backporch until i go take garbage to the dumpster, so it doesn't stink up my house right? and ya know, summer, heat, poop. attracts a lot of annoying flies.

well this one very smart spider decided to make a web directly across the top of the poop chair, high enough that i can still easily toss them into the seat of the chair, but low enough that it's nearly impossible for flies to land/take off from it. thereby becoming my business partner in making walking out my back door tolerable.

[savrenim]

you: the Banach–Tarski paradox me, an intellectual: tumblr infinite chocolate hack

[forwomenbiwomen]

Ok. Whatever here's my beliefs:

Men are hanging onto humanity by a thread

Transwomen are men

Adults can talk to kids... but have some decency

Consent doesn't inherently make something good

BDSM is abuse

LGB without the TQ+; make your own damn movement

Queer is a slur

Safe spaces for any oppressed/marginalised group isn't discrimination against their oppressors

Let people be cringe

Whitewashing is bad

Abortion is healthcare

Bisexuals aren't hornier than you

You can't be telling lesbians what to call themselves

"Kinksters" are not allies at pride, gay people are not inherently sexually deviant

You can't hack an infinite chocolate bar!

[somebeetledude]

Stupid ass tpp cart blanche headcanons 🫶

(PLEASE ADD SOME IF YOU HAVE ANY 🙏🙏🙏‼️)

Juno is a great cook but refuses to cook, instead eats dry pasta. Rita eats industrial sized barrels of sprinkles.

Buddy thinks that in theory, her current favourite food would be chocolate ice cream.

The first thing nureyev ate aboard the cart blanche was one of rita’s salmon flavoured snacks. they have since secretly become his favourite food, although he very rarely eats them.

when nureyev stole the contents of juno’s safe, all he found was a bunch of gifts from juno’s past clients, some old legal papers and a few creds. He found this infinitely charming.

Vespa once showed rita how to paint perfect black nails. She has since violently denied these allegations.

Nureyev is allergic to cats.

Jet collects little trinkets that Rita gives him, and neither of them ever verbally acknowledge this. 

Jet can play guitar.

Buddy and Jet play chess together. This first started when Buddy was recovering from radiation sickness, and they quickly adopted this as a weekly game, even aboard the carte blanche.

Buddy and vespa make an awful duet, although they have great singing voices seperately. They always sing together on karaoke night. Rita and Jet make a brilliant duet. Juno can sing but rarely does, and nureyev is a great singer, but only when it comes to jazz.

Nureyev painted some of the bad art Juno collects.

Buddy wears a jessica rabbit dress.

vespa looks great in a suit. I cannot stress this enough. Absolutely fucking rocks that look.

buddy also looks great in a suit, but almost never wears them.

Nureyev and Buddy sometimes wear each other’s high heels.

Buddy habitually greets people with a kiss on each cheek. 

Buddy’s weapon of choice is a flamethrower.

Rita once hacked into the database of a banned cars dealership for jet for his birthday.

Juno used to wear a fuckass fedora. Buddy talked him out of it.

Buddy knows a lot about old earth pirates. Like, just. So much about them. Has an entire cabinet dedicated to old earth pirates.

Rita and nureyev are the only two aboard the cart blanche who can speak brahmese, nureyev because he grew up there and Rita because she watches a lot of streams in brahmese. They both often judge people on jobs in brahmese.

Buddy and Juno smoke.

Jet makes lovely little pastries and cakes. Rita appreciates his talents.

Vespa and Juno both take their coffee the same- no milk, one and a half sugars, and then about half a cup of milk and another sugar when no one’s looking.

Rita takes her coffee with one teaspoon of coffee, whipped cream, sprinkles and synthesised cheese melted on top.

Rita’s historical idol is Mabel from gravity falls.

[beardedmrbean]

https://youtube.com/shorts/tJqnfEc-SdE?si=HWKEOxXKR2OBQ_RZ

the infinite chocolate hack has made it to YouTube

they're welcome to it and may they suffer horribly trying to figure out how to make it work

[darthlenaplant]

No discussion of nuclear power is complete without the fact that the radioactive waste from the process of "making*" energy in a nuclear powerplant has to be STORED SOMEWHERE, WITHOUT POISONING THE LOCALS, INCLUDING THE WILDLIFE, IF POSSIBLE, either.

And I MEAN without poisoning ANY local, no matter their skin colour. [Looks at European countries that export their toxic waste to poorer countries in the "global south" and then say "these countries have so much toxic trash and waste that's poisoning the local flora and fauna!!!111one" with the power of a deadly lazer, like, WHO THE FUCK PUT IT THERE, MÉLANIE??]

*) this is just semantics about Physics mostly, but we don't actually "make" energy, we transform one type of energy (kinetic, solar, thermic) into another (electric), with its usual transforming losses

I wish all environmentalists a very suck cocks in hell

[krispdreemurr]

wait green tasty anon is making me imagine synesthesia kris and i really enjoy that

Kris actually got into piano bc some chord is identical to the taste of caramel chocolate and they were like holy shit infinite chocolate hack

[gojogetozine]

👁‍🗨Please welcome Habibi to the Vol 2 stage! Would Gojo, snapped in half like a chocolate bar, realize the famous infinite chocolate hack? Maybe! Are we psyched for Habibi's piece? YES!🐉

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

infinite chocolate hack: a martial arts style that is not available in ten thousand days for the sword

dont tell me what not to do

[datasoong47]

Facebook has discovered the Infinite Chocolate hack

[0rb0t]

sonic only reads titles of articles and falls for every single click bait, he also only reads previews of results in search engines, meanwhile shadow reads everything, checks sources, explains how it's incorrect and everything. sonic goes "ohhh" and then 15 minutes later he's like "SHADOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THE INFINITE CHOCOLATE HACK"

edit: this was written only with Sonic Prime in mind and is a joke