#incredibly niche but its fun

[amazingspider-z]

Continuing to workshop Dandadan designs circa era once they're in their mid-twenties

[brawlingdiscontent]

TV is ultimately a visual medium and it often relies on visual metaphor to convey complex ideas to viewers. Black Sails and Interview with the Vampire both use the form of painting to further their thematic explorations of meaning-making via narrative. What I mean, essentially, by this fancy language is that the shows use painting to explore how the stories we tell ourselves and others shape our experiences of reality (and reality itself). 

Spoilers for Black Sails season 1 (mild), both seasons of Interview with the Vampire below.

My first target is Black Sails’ iconic “Fruit, fruit; tits, tits” scene in season 1, episode 2. Below its surface-level general hilarity, it taps into some of the show’s key themes. In the scene, we see a pirate captain and an appraiser looking at two paintings with identical subjects but painted at vastly different skill levels. One is ‘unmistakably’ a ‘masterwork’ by the painter Adriaen Hanneman. The other is an amateur knockoff. The appraiser says, “To suggest that the value of one has any bearing on the other simply strains the very bounds of reason.” However the captain starts the scene off by highlighting their similarities, pointing back and forth between the two paintings (if you haven’t seen it, try to imagine these lines in a thick Scottish accent):  “Fruit, fruit; tits, tits; plant, plant – it’s the fucking same.”

This exchange reveals that value is constructed, not inherent. To accept the claim that the Hanneman painting is worth more than the knockoff requires one to buy into a pre-existing value system regarding what makes for “good” art. The local pirate’s refusal of this system signals the potential of Nassau to generate collective meaning outside of the central authorizing force of England (here represented by the appraiser). The question at hand in this short scene—who ultimately decides and how do they define the relative worth of the paintings?—is what Black Sails is asking on a grand scale. In this brief exchange we find the central conflict of the show which sees Black Sails' characters battle England and each other for control of the narratives that shape their existence. 

In contrast to Black Sails’ look at grand narrative, Interview with the Vampire explores narrative on a smaller, more personal scale. While Black Sails is primarily about struggle, marginalization, and how narratives sway the balance of power, Interview with the Vampire ponders the role that narrative plays in defining the highs and lows of a meaningless existence. The show considers how the stories that give us meaning are generated (particularly via memory) and where they may be flawed. Most obviously/prominently are the many narratives that Louis constructs (and that Daniel challenges) through the titular interview, but the theme pops up in a number of other places, from Claudia’s diaries, to the coven’s ritualistic stagings of what it means to be a vampire—and this is particularly evident in season 2. 

Armand struggles with an absent self-narrative. Lacking a strong concept of who he is, he instead relies on others’ understandings of him, and the show uses painting to help convey this. When Armand takes Louis to see the portrait of him commissioned by his maker, he asks: “Who am I, Louis? Am I my history I have endured? Am I the job I do not want? I do not know anymore. No one has painted me in 400 years,” revealing how deeply he depends on external narratives for his own meaning-making processes.

Painting and its analogue photography are also significant to Louis’ grappling with meaning-making both inside and outside the context of the interview. One way the show makes this connection is through a subtle use of set design. Louis has strewn the walls of the Paris apartment with paintings and photographs—portraits, specifically—that can be read to represent various selves he’s trying on in a cluttered meaning-making process while he’s “out here finding [him]self.” Louis jokes to Armand that the portraits “hide the cracks in the walls,” but they arguably metaphorically hide the cracks in Louis’ sense of self. 

The writers/set designers also use painting to signal Louis’ missing memory. In the 1973 scenes in 2.5 (the big ‘missing memory’ episode), above the coffin in Louis’ townhouse are empty spaces on the wall where paintings once hung. They visually echo Louis’ reference to, “Pieces of myself, missing. I knew who I was without those pieces,” later in the episode. 

The ‘Bacon triptych’ is another key point. Armand keeps Louis in the dark about the status of the painting hanging in their living room. When he announces that he’s found a buyer, Louis says, “I didn’t know we made it available.” Later when Rashid comes in to notify them that the buyer’s lawyer is ready for the teleconference, Louis asks ‘Lawyer?’ and Armand responds, “It’s about the painting, the Bacon triptych.” Louis’ ignorance here maps onto his ignorance about his missing memories, and signals Armand’s control of the narrative. Meanwhile questions about the painting’s authenticity that arise in the call with the buyer’s lawyer subtly foreshadow later questions about the authenticity of Louis’ memories of the first interview—as do the act of Louis’ photographs being replaced with Fred Stein’s in Louis and Armand's album.

Louis and Armand’s disagreement about what to put on the wall to replace the triptych signals a breakdown in their collective meaning-making as a couple, which culminates when Louis slams Armand into the empty space, cracking the wall in the process. 

For pretty much all of his and Armand’s relationship, Louis has sought meaning through external value in a way that is distinct from but not dissimilar to Armand—through his bankable skills rather than his relationships with others, the more objective benchmarks defined by capital and financial value. The paintings and other objects he collects are not necessarily about his own enjoyment of them, but about what will generate the greatest profit (as we see in the 2.6 scene when he barges into Armand’s office with a new purchase).

After the removal of the triptych, the blank spot on the wall represents the space for Louis to write his own, individual narrative one not tied to Lestat or Armand, or a cold figuration of external value. The blank wall at first represents loss and the absence of meaning—which seems to terrify Louis at the start of the season when he’s talking about dreams—but in having the courage to face his pain and loss and move forward, Louis is able to replace it with a painting that’s meaningful to him, and arguably more important, Paul’s portrait and Claudia’s dress, which map his loves and his grief, writing their meaning and their memory forever into his narrative.

Thank you for reading!

[red-moon-at-night]

The Trojan Horse/La guerra di Troia (1961)

Ignore the complete mischaracterisation of Helen and the inaccuracy of events, you need to see this sequence of how Paris dies. It's absolutely WILD.

[wall-eye]

Sometimes you just need to look at old art that you made and just enjoy tailored-to-you parts of it

[possamble]

I know it's going to seem strange and alien to how shipping fanfiction usually works but would you ever be interested in writing "bad" endings? Like, in the sense that things in a ship don't work out and both people have to figure out a life without the other as a partner? You write pain and heartbreak and calcified self-hatred so well, I'd be interested in seeing you write it if that interests you.

I actually do explore that kind of stuff, just almost never in my fic writing 😅 mostly out of a sense of like... not wanting to upset people, since I'm playing with shared toys in our collective make-believe game? Also, fanfic is mostly my escapist fantasy, so I'm never that inclined to break characters up (unless I personally believe they'd be better off separated, which is rare but has happened)

It likely won't happen for farcille unless I'm doing a long "reconciling years later" type thing with flashbacks to the breakup, which admittedly I have thought about

[analog-television]

Your ocs are so cool!!!

I'm curious is tofay forecast is going to be fic or a comic or just anything. Either way I'm eating this shit up, I just want to gently hold all of the silly birbs

aw thank you so much! its meant to be a comic (probably), im just not the best at planning stuff so im not sure when ill get to that. hopefully soon-ish since i love sharing my brainrot over these guys.

i haven't even gotten to sharing most of them yet, im yet to really mention some of my other personal favorite guys on tumblr (vern and scanlines)(tho for the record vern is the bird in my pfp).

[aquapolis]

(going over 50 years worth of women written to show up at one point and then fuck off forever) hm. could this be a bit overambitious

[ohdeerfully]

Can I please request Alastor and reader having a sleepover because of flooding in the hotel which made most rooms in the hotel out of service including Alastor's and Alastor chooses to stay at reader room because ✨romance✨ Oh and can I be ☀️ anon ( I'm the person who made first request.)

I love your writing so much!!!

hii again!!! thank you so much for the request ☀️! i love when anons give themselves names its actually so fun (,:

A Dry Bed

Alastor x Reader (fluff) TW: none! join my discord! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══

It’s nothing new when a violent demon shows up at the doorsteps to the Hazbin Hotel–Charlie’s idea wasn’t a popular one, except to a very niche market of demons. Many came just to cause havoc and make life harder for the already strained employees of the hotel.

This was new, though, you mused to yourself briefly as a fish-headed demon ripped open the door, the hinges squealing in protest. Bubbles of water floated around his body, strings of a magic aura keeping them attached to his form; there was a large one encasing his head like a helmet, making his already fish-eyed features more… well… fish-eyed and distorted.

Most demons weren’t manifested in hell bearing any sort of noticeable power other than sometimes having a decent “full” demon form. So, seeing this fish rearing a set of magical balls of water for attack, for no real reason in particular and with a glint of mania in his eyes, quickly put everybody to their feet and in action. 

Alastor was out doing god-knows-what, otherwise this would’ve been over in an instant. The other demons in the hotel were incredibly strong in their own right, but it was undeniable that the power imbalance was… huge. And the immediate chaos that ensued likely would’ve been prevented.

The fish barely hesitated after nearly breaking the front doors, immediately detaching his balls of water and hurling them in every direction. Bottles of booze were shattering, hanging pictures were tumbling, and wooden legs of furniture snapped. 

Of course, it was over nearly as soon as it started. With a movement so fast you could hardly watch, Vaggie had the fish pinned down, her foot pressed against his neck and spear pointed at one of his bulging eyes. Her eyes were narrowed so hard, her lips so twisted in a scowl, you could practically see the fire of her anger.

“Vaggie, hey, hey, hey,” Charlie quickly rattled out, pressing her hands against her girlfriend’s arm and gently ushering away the spear. Vaggie refused to release the demon, who was gurgling some nonsense in his bubble of a helmet. Charlie nudged at her leg that was pinning the demon down. “C’mon. No killing. You know the rules.”

“Charlie, this guy literally came in with intent to kill! Stop treating him like he wants to be in the hotel.” “I know! But… just…” Charlie thought for a moment.

The fish headed demon started thrashing around, but Vaggie’s strong leg kept him down. He was growing desperate, you could tell, and a magic aura seemed to flicker around him as he fought for his freedom.

Charlie opened her mouth again, likely to coerce Vaggie to let the guy go, but was interrupted by a loud, squealing groan from every direction. You frowned and leaned your ear against the wall, where it seemed the loudest. The sound of screaming pipes and popping bolts made you clench your jaw and whip your arms over your head, right in time for the walls to start bursting with dangerously high pressure water.

Vaggie turned a glare to Charlie and spread her arms in a “you see?” motion. She briefly raised her leg, only to slam it back down on the fish’s head. His protective bubble popped, and he was knocked out cold. 

Easily enough, the pressure immediately began to release after the culprit had been knocked out, but the pipes wouldn’t magically fix themselves. Charlie was running back and forth, trying desperately to survey the damage to her hotel. Footsteps came thudding down the stairs and a spindly pink demon came flying down.

“Hey, what the fuck is- fuck!” Angel Dust’s curse-filled rant was interrupted as he tripped head first into the steadily increasing pool of water, not expecting his foot to get dragged behind him by said water. With a moment of confused thrashing he stood back up and shook water from his now drenched hair.

“Guys, a little help?” Charlie snapped, unintentionally raising her voice at the three of you. “I don’t know what to do, but just-! Something!”

Niffty was quick to arrive after Angel, announcing herself with a shrill cry at the state of things. She immediately went to work, practically flying this way and that with a little hammer and nails. You wondered if she could just materialize that at will.

After finally ebbing the flow at the lobby, you looked at the stairs to the next floor. A steady stream of water made a shock of cold run down your neck.

“Guys…” You pointed at the base of the stairs and drew a line with your finger, following the trail of water.

Charlie choked out a short cry, and Niffty didn’t hesitate before barreling between your legs and up the steps.

“Oh! My,” A shocked voice called from the entrance. A prickling of static covered your skin, and tension immediately left your shoulders. With him here, this would go a lot faster. You turned your head to look at the Radio Demon, who was now delicately stepping through the layer of water that was now creeping out the open lobby doors.

“This seems like a dream of a little orphan from the Dirty Thirties, I do think,” Alastor joked, mouth ajar and eyes shut in a sinister laugh at his humor. His staticy ambience changed to a personal laugh track following his statement. His cane was held up carefully on his elbow as he surveyed the scene.

“No, this won’t do! Not at all, what a dreadful sight for new patrons,” As his hand rose and a crackling of loud static filled the room, you heard the noise of metal bending and snapping as he magically forced them back into place. Even with all the pipes fixed, the water remained. You guessed it was up to the rest of you to deal with that part.

“Thank you soooo much, Al,” Charlie had her hands clasped and shaking in front of her as she continued to spew thanks at him for the help. She stopped and looked around. There was still a huge mess. And there was still a lot of water.

The lot of you had spent the next few hours desperately trying to scoop, dump, scoop again, dump again, all the water out, but it seemed neverending. Husk had showed up at some point, went on a furious rant about his collection of now-smashed bottles, and had been cradling the remaining one ever since.

Charlie had given everybody a verbal pat on the back, and called it a night. “We can get back to it in the morning.” She said this, but you had a feeling she would remain up trying her best to fix the mess. Alastor had excused himself some time ago, saying something about his broadcasts and his papers. Since then, your thoughts have been filled with aggravation from his lack of aid. Yes, he had fixed the pipes, but the water. 

You gave a light smile to Charlie, half in thanks and half in apology, before heading up to your room. Your jaw was clenched with anticipation for what your room might look like. You could already visualize the damp curtains, the dripping bed, the mildewy air… And your clothes were surely ruined. You’d have to buy something to wear while you washed everything you owned. You sighed at the thought.

You took a breath before pushing the door open. And, when you looked inside, it was… completely dry.

“What the hell.” You deadpanned, eyes scanning the entire room. Surely there was at least a puddle of water somewhere. The water had affected every level, and although you did live on one of the higher floors you still couldn’t understand how your room managed to escape the flood.

You stepped inside and closed the door behind you, making quick work of your drenched clothes and changing into something dry. You fell face first into your pillows. Your eyes were so, so heavy.

A few seconds passed before a knock interrupted the sleep that had been creeping over your body. You heard the faint warbling of radio frequency, and felt both nervousness and anger at the thought of seeing Alastor.

You rolled off the bed and stomped your way over to the floor, flinging it open and glaring up at him. He simply smiled back down at you, his head tilted questioningly as if he had no clue why you were in such a mood.

His eyes broke from yours and he peered into your room. With a pleased glint in his eye, he brushed past you. You wanted to say something about his intrusion, but you knew it would be useless. So you just followed him in.

“Lucky you!” He said. “I took it upon myself to look into all the rooms, and yours is the only one that is still in such a shape.” You watched as he examined the contents of your room, grabbing up a decoration here and there to look it over before setting it back down.

He sighed, eyes closing as his wide smile closed into a meager grin. “Unsurprisingly that little bayou of mine flooded much worse than everywhere else. As much as it reminds me of home, even I’m not one to sleep in the marsh.” He laughed a little.

Does this guy even sleep, you wondered. You had seen his room once before, and envisioned that marsh in the corner of his room completely overrunning the rest. 

“Uh,” You toed the carpet and pursed your lips. You were still a little upset with him, but the idea of him going through the painstaking process of looking through every room in the hotel made it more reasonable for him to disappear earlier. “I mean, you could… stay with me. Tonight. Just tonight. Everything should be fine tomorrow, but I don’t want you without a bed. You know.” You rambled.

You and Alastor had gotten close over the past year, a little closer than he was with anybody else, but you avoided thinking too hard about your relationship. You worried that overthinking would cause you to accidentally overstep a boundary and you would lose the progress you’ve built getting to know him. You were worried about doing just that even as the offer tumbled from your mouth.

You watched as his teeth began to peek through his lips as his smile widened. There was something in his expression that you couldn’t quite place. Pride, maybe? Accomplishment? You weren’t sure. You didn’t have much time to consider it before his smile composed and he remained unreadable.

“How bold of you,” His voice cooed, the static that surrounded him buzzing louder as his face got closer to you. You swallowed back a lump that had formed at the proximity. “Inviting a man into your room. It’s rather unbecoming of a lady like yourself.”

“I-” Your face grew hot.

“I’m joking!” He interrupted you, leaning himself away and back in a laugh. He waved his hand at you while you frowned. You hated the way he lived off of teasing and embarrassing.

“Okay, nevermind then!” You folded your arms and stuck your nose to the side and in the air. His laughter paused and he looked back down at you. Heat still burned on your cheeks and ears.

He examined you for an uncomfortably long period of time. You had your eyes squeezed shut and you upheld your attitude in the silence for as long as you could before the prickling of radio static on your skin became too uncomfortable. You peeked open one eye to look, and immediately got nervous.

He was just standing there. Just staring with his sinister red eyes. It didn’t help that he was quite taller than you. Looming and staring. Probably the worst combination, especially with that buzzing of his.

You felt like an open book, way too vulnerable under his gaze. You lowered your head to look at nothing in particular by your feet.

“So… yes or no…” You said, taking back your earlier statement. “You can have the bed, of course. I’ll just… find a blanket for the floor or something.” If there’s anything dry, you added to yourself.

His expression broke from concentration, lifting immediately into a gleeful, toothy grin. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and guided you to the bed.

“Won’t be necessary!” He cheered. He pulled at the covers and pushed you down gently. Or, well, gently by Alastor’s standards. You still bounced upon impact. You sat there, a bit dazed with confusion as you watched him cross to the other side of the room and tuck himself under the same sheets. 

“Alastor- Hey, really, I don’t mind-” He put a finger up to your lips, dramatically shutting you up. You decided to listen.

“What’s a sleepover between two close friends!” He said gleefully. You couldn’t help but let the term ‘friends’ echo in your mind as you fiddled with your thumbs.

Silence filled the room again, but after a while it became more comfortable than awkward. The sound of radio frequencies had died down a little. You refused to look at him. The clock ticked faintly in the corner.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt clawed fingers grab into your shoulder and pull you closer to the Radio Demon. You aided the movement by using your hands to scoot towards him.

Again, you had become close with him over the year, but you never took too long to consider just what you were. You always waited for him to make any move, because otherwise he might completely reject you. So, when he made the decision to bring you closer, you happily obliged, albeit a little anxiously.

You gingerly put your head against his chest, listening to the thrum of his heart. Or what might be a heart. Who knows. You held in a laugh when you realized that even that had some sort of radio-like sound to it. Nonetheless, it did help lull you out of any nerves you had being so close and intimate to Alastor.

You lifted yourself off of him with an elbow and looked at him. He was already looking at you, unsurprisingly, so your eyes met his. They were glowing a little, you noticed.

His face still had a grin, but it was light. And comfortable. His eyebrows were relaxed as he just watched you. 

Your heart was beating uncomfortably fast, and you were embarrassed to think that he might be able to feel it with how close your chest was to his.

If he did, he made no indication of it. He just kept looking at you with the strangest expression you’ve ever seen on him. It was gentle. His words from earlier played in your mind again; when he called you and him ‘friends.’

Did ‘friends’ look at each other like this?

Did ‘friends’ inch closer to each other as they stared into the others’ eyes, bodies flush against one another and legs beginning to tangle?

Your jaw clenched and unclenched as you neared him, and you frantically examined him for even the smallest hint of wanting you to stop. You swore he was leaning in too, though.

You felt his breath brush against your nose. Your heart was practically clawing itself out of your ribs and the elbow you had propped yourself up on grew wobbly with nerves. When Alastor’s eyes began to shut, ever so slowly, you followed suit.

And, for an incredibly brief moment, your lips touched his. One, two, maybe three seconds passed before he pulled away from you. You opened your eyes to watch his expression grow a bit puzzled. His smile was tight, and his brows furrowed slightly as he watched you. He seemed deep in thought, with what exactly you couldn’t guess, but he didn’t seem uncomfortable.

At some point his hand had come and was gingerly settled on your hip, which he used to pull you back down. Your elbow practically gave out and you fell a little rough back down on his chest. You couldn’t help but stare widely at the wall for a moment, just listening to his heartbeat again. Was it beating faster than before?

You smiled lightly. You had no idea if this was a step forward in your relationship with the Radio Demon, or if it would be back to ‘friends’ tomorrow, but you decided to just cross your fingers. You reached your arms up to wrap under his neck, and you slowly made yourself comfortable. He had lightly settled his own arms on your back.

You couldn’t help but send silent thanks to that aggressive fish demon from earlier, and a thanks to god himself, as strained as your opinions towards that guy was, for keeping your bed dry.

When Alastor began drawing shapes in your back, gently dragging his sharp nail across your clothed skin, you cast away all worries about the next day out of your head. It all seemed so far away now as you took in the smell of the demon laying underneath you.

You just hoped this would become a regular thing, because man, was this comfortable.

----------------------------------------------------

A Warm Bed (sequel)

[metalichotchoco]

Ever since I found out that my baby girl Edgar has an actual high end perfume based on him Miguel matos’ “electric dreams” I thought it could be fun to talk about what some other computers would smell like based on their personalities, stories and overall vibes.

Since Edgar has a perfume already I might as well talk about it

Released in 2021, they describe this scent as being “digital hormones” and trying to understand an emotion and failing at it, which works well for Edgar very well. Electric dreams as a whole lives in the pre internet age of the 80s and how hopeful that dream of the future was in the minds of the people. I love that they included the cheap champagne that miles spills on Edgar as a note here. The other scents are contextualized with the youth of the 80s, strawberry gum and tutti frutti soda, plastic flowers and clean laundry. Even the part where Edgar overheats at the end is in the smoke note. It’s categorized as chypre fruity and I think some other scents fit Edgar very well.

In love with everything by imaginary authors is glitzy and bright almost like those arcade cabinets introduced in the era.its based on the young adults of the time specifically the women, the joys of recklessness. Inexhaustible enthusiasm. To me Edgar is a sugar sweet summer.

Edgar is characterized by the era he was born in, something actually a lot of sentient computers share. As technology morphs and evolves with humanity, our ideas and outlooks also change with it. Electric dreams is coated in the neon lit nostalgia of the 80s, and in a weird twist of fate its legacy is of the 80s as well. The commercialism of it as a whole is what’s remembered most prominently, the song that was made for the movie has outlived its original context. Honorable mentions to age of innocence by Toskovat but I don’t think the rubber or gasoline notes fit him well. Fantômas by Nasomatto is pretty good being a fruity clearly fake fragrance though the gunpowder might be a bit much.

Moving forward, let’s talk about HAL

While technically she was an anomaly by Etat Libre d’Orange makes direct reference to him and his most iconic line, this scent is based on the marriage of Nina Simone and Stanley Kubrick. If hal was human in any shape or form this fragrance would be a generally good fit, as it’s clean professional and one of those your skin but better scents that’s prefect for workplaces.

Eu de space from nasa could work pretty well though it’s not exact. This is a photorealistic space scent with metals and plastics and ozone notes but Hal isn’t directly in space, he’s what the ship would smell like. The burnt sweet quality doesn’t mix well with how pristine and rigid the character is. Spacewalk by Demeter also has a bit of similar problem being a bit too sweet but the soapiness does add points in my opinion. Hal is the sharpness of metal and ozone on your nose to me, not the smell of a hospital or sanitizer but the smell of something newly plastic. Skiing on Europa could be that but unfortunately it’s a little more niche.

Last but not least for now, let’s talk about am, there’s so many different ways to go with am, none being particularly good smelling but there’s so much you could do for him. You can go with the fact that he’s the whole planet, add in soil, rock,gasoline as accords, you can do the religious angle that he has that can pair well with other ideas, use wine or incense and wax like in with the candlestick by clue, you can do blood, sweat, tears and skin to represent the survivors who are now a part of him. Warm electronics, tar, gunpowder there’s so many distinct parts of him.

I think that the two I’m going to single out in terms of perfume are ones that take inspiration from what am’s original function was which is war. And that’s inexcusable evil by toskovat and Molotov cocktail by sylhouette perfumes

Inexcusable evil is infamous in the fragrance and perfume world for its incredibly strong violent smell, it’s a hospital ward ravaged by war. That is its story. Memories that are lost to the tide of battle. “The next war will decide not what is right but what is left.”

Molotov cocktail goes more personal but is still a war scent, the top notes are gasoline,vodka and pepper. the middle notes are blood sweat and rubber and the base is metal, iodine, musk and leather. More animalic and close but both work on the scales that am is a threat in, he’s both a world ender but also a personal tormentor, he spans the globe but also cannot leave his confinement

[rottenshotgungames]

Alright, let’s start with discourse, shall we?

Gatekeeping Combat

Three days ago, the Gorgon Bones blog made this post about fighters in TTRPGs (particularly the OSR): https://gorgonbones.blogspot.com/2024/02/choosing-fighter-means-choosing-violence.html?m=1

I recommend reading the post, it’s fun (and the comments are hilarious). But, for those who don’t have the time or attention span (trust me, I’m lacking in spoons right now too), this is a relatively short joke that suggests protecting the Fighter class’ niche by making it the only class able to participate in combat. This, on its face, seems like an inherently silly idea—because it is—but people have been interacting with it as a serious suggestion. This comedic concept has spawned a legitimately interesting design discussion. So, let’s engage with it as a thought experiment. How would one make this function in a fun and reasonable way? The simple answer is that you have to start with conflict.

Conflict in RPGs, particularly in Dragon Game derivatives (such as the OSR), is often violent in nature. This presents the first hurdle: How do we centralize combat to 1 class when it’s a major source of conflict, conflict that people inherently want to engage in? As I see it, there are two approaches:

Decentralize Combat.

Redefine “Engaging in Combat.”

Decentralizing combat is kinda just what it says on the tin; make combat a less important source of conflict and means of resolving it. The two biggest examples of this—to me—are Investigative Horror Games and Stealth Games, both of which rely on central conceits that CAN involve violence but don’t necessarily rely upon it. A non-OSR example would be John Harper’s Blades in The Dark, in which combat is resolved the exact same way as every other conflict: through a series of dice rolls that result in ticking and unticking a clock (with possible complications).

Redefining what it means to “engage” requires a bit more definition than the prior approach. “Redefining” can be subcategorized into two somewhat disparate techniques: Redefining goals and redefining interactions.

In any TTRPG combat, the party tends to have a list of goals that exist in a hierarchy of priority. For example, in a traditional D&D or Lancer combat the hierarchy of party goals might look like this:

The Contest (express martial superiority, wipe out the opposition, or otherwise win the combat)

The End State (survive the combat and prevent as much harm to yourself or other party members as possible)

The Barrier (achieve the exploration or narrative goal that’s being hindered or prevented by the combat)

“Redefining” these goals is more accurately described as a re-ordering of their hierarchy based upon whether you are or aren’t the Fighter, usually through gameplay incentives. An incredible example exists in the form of Mike Pondsmith’s Cyberpunk 2020, in which the Solo role (through virtue of acting first and being generally able to specialize heavily into combat) can almost singlehandedly decide the outcome of any fight in which they are present. If there is one Solo on the field, their side is probably going to receive a swift victory; your job, as the non-Solo, is simply to not die and accomplish what you actually came here to do. If there are two Solos on opposing sides of the combat, their goals change to winning their private fight; your job, as the non-Solo, is to survive the surrounding combat until the Solo is free again (or to run if they lose). In almost every combat, the Solo will prioritize the Contest while the rest of the party will prioritize either the End State or the Barrier, something aided by Cyberpunk’s lethality and its nature as a heist game.

“Redefining combat interaction” is . . . actually found everywhere. This is your basic class differentiation taken to a greater extreme than you may find in most tactical RPGs. For example, let’s look at the Combat relevant difference between the Thief/Rogue/Mercenary and the Fighter in a majority of games that use such classes:

The Fighter - Deals a lot of damage with consistently accurate attacks (sometimes also makes multiple attacks on their turn). Has high health.

The Thief - Deals a lot of damage with one really powerful attack made from stealth, sneaky (sometimes good at dodging). Has low health.

The differentiation is there, but it’s not really significant (for the purposes of this thought experiment). Both classes focus on damage output, but one makes multiple attacks and one makes a strong attack that requires setup. Let’s try to take this difference and expand it (with a little help from our dear friend Tolkien), particularly by focusing on what makes the Thief unique in comparison to the Fighter:

The Fighter - Deals a lot of damage with consistently accurate attacks (sometimes also makes multiple attacks on their turn). Has high health.

The Thief - Subverts direct combat through the use of trickery and cunning, plays support for the Fighter (sometimes good at dodging). Has low health.

“Subversion,” in this context, simply means fighting dirty. The Thief shouldn’t be engaging in a head-on fight, they’re a Thief. Their interaction with hostile entities should always be tinged by deceit, their goal should always be to throw their enemy off balance, to create openings for others and themselves to use. If your Thief isn’t constantly throwing pocket sand and disarming opponents and knocking chandeliers on top of them and pulling cloaks over their eyes and poisoning them and . . . are they really living out the Thief fantasy? By strengthening the Thief’s core identity, leaning fully into the trickster aspect, we have redefined how both classes interact with Combat in such a way that has made direct, head-on-head violence the apparent specialty of the Fighter.

Conclusion

As much as the original Gorgon Bones blog post is a joke, Jenx does point out a real issue that’s plagued class-based games for a while: a weak niche makes a weak class. Not necessarily mechanically weak (although that can also happen, looking at you CP2020 Cop), but weak in the sense of fundamental design. Strong niches, even if every class has the ability to participate in combat, are born of purposefully and carefully built interactions with the conflicts presented by a game’s rules and environment. If combat is too great of a focus, everyone is going to want to be able to play the guy who’s good at combat; if winning combat is the sole goal of any given encounter, everyone’s going to play the guy that’s good at winning combats; if every class gets good tools for dealing damage . . . well, I don’t really have to spell that one out, do I?

If you’re designing a tactical, class based game: don’t make the Fighter the only class able to engage in combats. It’s lazy, it’s silly, and it won’t be fun for very long. You may notice that, while the two games mentioned here have classes that EXCEL at direct combat, neither of them fully limit it. Instead, the proper lesson of this thought experiment is a far more common one in our field: keep in mind the incentives you’re building into both your game and your classes, and be aware of how all these moving parts interact with and affect each other. After all, the Solo wouldn’t be nearly as good if Cyberpunk wasn’t so lethal, and the Cutter would be far more ubiquitous if Blades in The Dark had a dedicated combat chapter.

Self Promo

Hey! Thanks for reading. Sorry to leave ya with Baby’s First Game Design Lesson, but I hope ya enjoyed the journey there. If you’d like to see my recent attempt at a class based fantasy game, you can click here to check out Hollow Halls. Otherwise, I hope y’all have a great night and a great day!

[creacherkeeper]

happy pride everyone

for some reason i was sitting outside this morning and enjoying some shockingly not boiling hot weather and reflecting on a post i had made like ... 12 years ago on here that "blew up" (like 60k notes on early days tumblr) and thinking like. wow i sure do know a lot more about myself now that makes all that make sense but

the post was someone saying like. hey how can you call yourself an atheist and support gay people because gay people go against the concept of evolution. and my reply was like. actually there are gay members of like every social species weve studied it in and i had a bunch of facts laid out about all the different very gay animals of this world (like giraffes having very largely m/m sex)

but now, like 12 years later, i am thinking about human evolution and queer identity and thought it would be fun to talk about. i am by far not an expert and so if there are experts who want to correct me or talk more in depth about this Please jump in but

... why did humans evolve to be queer anyway?

very short answer: because its helpful to raising kids

longer answer: though its debated whether humans are a prosocial or eusocial species, it is agreed upon that early humans cooperatively raised young, including those that they did not personally sire or give birth to, and that we lived in multi-generation communities where younger members would help raise older members offspring, and vice versa

(note: im using the terms amab and afab for human populations potentially pre concepts of gender but work with me here, i dont want to keep repeating genitalia or genomes when those arent always a helpful 1 to 1 either. sex is a spectrum gender is made up etc support intersex rights)

we know that due to fraternal birth order effect (npr link), youre 33% more likely to be gay with each older amab sibling that you have (not 33% total, but 33% more, so like 2% to 2.6 to 3.5 etc). this is true of both amab and afab people with older amab siblings. we also know that a birthing parent having more of a specific antibody makes their children more likely to be gay (and that antibody is not exclusive to but is highly tied to giving birth to amab children)

in addition, evolutionarily speaking, its just as advantageous for your siblings children to do well than it is for yours to. its incredibly rare you would happen to have a very helpful mutation that your siblings dont have. which means that your siblings kids would be about 25% amab grandparent, 25% afab grandparent, and 50% a parent who is unrelated to you. this is exactly the same for your own children

okay, so what does that mean?

to put it simply, it means that having older siblings, specifically older siblings who are more easily able to sire more children, makes you more likely to end up in a same-sex couple, which means you are two adults with no children who are now around to help raise children you are equally invested in the success of than if they were your own

the more older youth or adults you have around to help who are not also using up a bunch of resources by being pregnant and having non-helping-age children, the better off that community's children will be. more people to hunt and gather and create resources like tools, which means everyone prospers, especially the kids

or, to frame it from the opposite view: having gay siblings means your children are more likely to survive and thrive

(kind of funny how conservatives are like gay people shouldnt be around children when the entire point of our evolutionary development was that we were great to have around if you had kids but like. alas)

so, thats the very basic core of it. but you can apply this concept to a lot of queer identities. aroace? working adult around to help who is not bringing in an unrelated partner or having kids. trans? you now either have an m/f couple who can fill two different social niches without having kids, or you have a gay couple who is able to do more varied physical tasks whether or not they do have kids. bi people may have kids or may not, or their children may be more spread out if they have partners of different sexes over time

not to mention you kind of have some built in, ready to go parents in the case that another community member dies, and there are now orphans that need raising. its a lot harder for someone whos already a parent to take on more children, as opposed to an adult couple who doesnt have any

so yeah :) were queer because we were helpful to have in communities and allowed everyone, but especially youth, to prosper and thrive

tl;dr: queer people were an evolutionary advantage to have in an early community because we were helping-age members who were able to cooperatively raise young and take on orphans without using up resources on birthing and raising our own young

yay science :o) happy pride everyone!!!

[sugarpasteltmnt]

What are some of your favorite character relationships/dynamics in TMNT, and why? Is there anything that you particularly like seeing explored with them in fan works (art, writing, comics, etc)?

oh wow!! what a fun ask!!

stashing this under a read-more because i really popped off LOL

My favorite relationships and dynamics??

I feel like i should preface this by admitting that Rise was actually my first real exposure to the TMNT franchise-- and after reading and watching some other iterations it became incredibly apparent how different Rise was in several aspects. And i loved it!!

but with TMNT as a whole, i really love the Leo and Raph dynamics across the TMNT universe (shocking i know lol). It's probably my favorite dynamic of the whole franchise lol. I love love love how they can clash against each other in dramatic ways. And yet, at the end of the day, they would lay down their lives for each other. It's so fun and heartwarming to see that across all the different TMNT iterations.

I also think how Splinter's relationship with the boys can drastically fluctuate between iterations is super interesting. Splinter is such a cool character, and playing with his relationship with the boys has such a crazy big impact on the story and vibe. My favorite Splinters are 2003 and Rise and those two are hilariously different. But something they share is their protectiveness of their families. Which is a dynamic some other iterations turn on its head! And I love that!

And April. GOD i love April so much. The concept of her character is a trope i love. A human who is not just a friend but family with non-humans??? I'm obsessed. And I love that each April of every iteration has her own level of unhinged-ness.

Honestly I could probably write a thesis on each character but I'll try to keep it short lol. But something I really love???

The TMNT franchise itself isn't afraid to experiment with its own iconic relationships or story beats.

It doesn't take itself too seriously while putting a lot of thought and care into the wild, different storylines or concepts. What I might think is an iconic relationship/dynamic in TMNT might be different than someone else's-- and that's fun! The level of flexibility and boldness for trying different things for dynamics and relationships is something I really adore about TMNT as a franchise.

There are tropes and dynamics that are totally my favorite. But I also love seeing those things experimented with!!! But I had to absolutely pick something, it would be all the dynamics seen in Rise. I just love it so much!!

And fan works??

as for what I like seeing being explored in fan works, i gotta say--

I LOVE IT ALL AHHHH!!!❤️💞💗💖💕❤️💞💗💖

TMNT is such a fun and unusual IP, and i totally enjoy seeing other fans going wild with their own creative ideas. I love seeing people pop off with whatever their hearts desire. Anything from the iconic tropes to the niche, hyper-specific concepts-- I love it all. Because there is so much to explore with these characters. And I adore seeing people having fun with their ideas. It's hard to answer what my 'favorite' things to see are because I'm greedy for ALL of it! Because seeing all the different experiments with my favorite dynamics and relationships is so incredibly refreshing and exciting!!

I love seeing people play with each brother's relationship with one another. I love seeing the different takes on Splinter and his role as a father figure (or lack of). I love seeing the potential early-days of Rise-April's relationship with the boys as kids. I love every possible take on every possible character. I will always be a sucker for the juicy story tropes. But I'm just as ravenous for the off-the-cuff twists and concepts. I love any and all of it. Because it's so fun to see what people can cook up-- especially when it's a setup that you never would've thought of before but gave you a new perspective!!!

Because at the end of the day, TMNT is-- frankly-- a silly franchise. And it knows it! But it's not afraid to put in the serious moments and emotions that make all the dynamics interesting. And it's not afraid to experiment with its own building blocks. And I love that fans aren't afraid to push the unexpected in fan works, or do a deeper dive of the dynamics and relationships we've seen in different iterations.

This turned more into a love letter for all TMNT and TMNT fans rather than what my favorite parts are, but it's still all true! I am constantly collecting my favorite dynamics and tropes and putting them in my mental shelf of favorite things. While there are classics I'll always love no matter what, some days the flavor changes!!! And I love that TMNT both as a franchise and as a fandom is so diverse when experimenting with these characters!!

So, in a way this is me saying keep having fun creating and experimenting--because not only does it make me happy, but I hope it makes you happy too 🩵

[notedchampagne]

Trick or Treat! I haven't read tlt yet, and I'm sure I would like it, but my pet peeve is that most of the "synopses" I see are basically just "lesbian necromancers in space!" and even the back of the book that I've seen just doesn't give me much of an idea of the plot? I'm sure I would like it, but it's hard to know what it's actually About 😔

treat. thats a similar gripe i have as well! i think its good for attracting an audience but it doesnt do much to get them hooked aside from "it has lesbians in it". if you want to get a genuine tlt fic rec from me i wrote this in goodreads. yes sorry i started a goodreads i just needed to keep track of what books i read:

the locked tomb series is about the horrors of love, the tragedy of relationships beyond romance, why codependency is not as fun as you think, the joy of sacrifices, how imperialism affects culture affects people affects imperialism, and most importantly: the humor of not knowing what the fuck is going on. i PROMISE you that tamsyn ties all of these together perfectly.

gideon the ninth is about the intimacy of hating someone youve known your whole life, the all-consuming desire to make something out of yourself and how it can destroy you if youre not careful, how no man is an island, and how you are not immune to propaganda. it is also a murder mystery. i ALSO promise tamsyn writes this all in efficiently.

throughout the series, muir's gimmick is choosing the person least equipped to narrate objectively: the points of view are opinionated, ignorant, humorous, and challenging to get through if you're someone that asks "can this PLEASE be explained now??" she sets up dominoes in seemingly random places at random times, and then knocks it all over in a beautiful cascade of information that makes you feel thrilled and sick. the series is incredibly rereadable from the layers of foreshadowing and theming between all three (soon to be four) books, but for your first run you HAVE to be patient. you HAVE to be willing to be entertained. the payoff of being invested in this series is glorious; it's red-string 'am i crazy' hype. i have a google doc listing off theme connections and details that i started for fun. the characters are MEAN, which i value with my life. gideon and harrowhark are 17 and 18 years old and they act like it: they're funny, theyre self-flagellating, theyre bitchy, theyre unreasonable, etc etc. every character flaw is consistent with their being.

my biggest gripes with the series is that the worldbuilding is too weak for what i can see it being and the memes can be a little niche. the setting and necromancy is moreso a tool for the characters, so theres a lot of beautiful tidbits and descriptions, but you're not going to get any rules or meta beyond surface-level aesthetics. personally, "lesbian necromancers in space" does not cut it for me. if you were raised catholic though, this book might strike a chord with you. if you were raised catholic AND you are a lesbian, youre the target audience. i hope you have fun YOU WILL LIKE THIS SERIES/BOOK IF YOU LIKE: tragedy, character juxtaposition, the teen butch struggle, the exploration of love and toxic dynamics, mystery, sci-fi written like a fantasy novel, catholic theming, death theming, enemies to lovers but worse, freaky white girls, dyke drama, lesbians that have problems bigger than dyke drama, swordfighting, character duos, morally gray characters YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE THIS BOOK/SERIES IF YOU DISLIKE: being confused, being left in the dark for too long, unreliable narrators, morally gray characters, loose/light worldbuilding

[uncharismatic-fauna]

Hey! I'm Jack, and if you follow my blog at all you know I post about 'uncharismatic' fauna, aka the ones that are pests, are gross or even harmful or just generally less-known than more cute animals like pandas or elephants.

As of right now, this post on Chrysina limbata is by far my post popular, despite containing little more than a fun fact and a cool picture. And despite so many people telling me in the tags that this beetle is charismatic, and cool, and pretty (which I agree it totally is!), it also illustrates my point. Despite being incredibly visually interesting, almost nothing is known about this species; its life cycle, its diet, its ecological niche-- nothing. The photo I used was one of only a handful that have ever been taken of C. Iimbata. And that is precisely what I'm trying to highlight with this blog. There are so many cool animals on this planet, and we know so little about them! We could probably spend the next hundred years cataloging and recording, and still not cover even a tenth of the amazing species that we live with.

So if you thought C. limbata, or any of the animals that I write about, was charismatic, consider doing your own research! Read about your local species! If you're in a position to do so, do research and help contribute to our knowledge of these charismatic critters (that's what I'm doing!). And, of course, if you have an animal you'd like to learn more about, feel free to send me an ask or request!

[nekropsii]

In your opinion, do you think the clown cult aspects of homestuck can be salvaged? I have a few purple blooded fantrolls but I’ve been struggling a bit on how to include that bit of worldbuilding into their backstories, especially since iirc friendsim implied that it’s something that applies to all purple bloods rather than the way homestuck described it (which has its own Issues anyway thanks to Hussie writing the Makaras Like That)

Hiveswap is not rigidly canon and your life will be better once you acknowledge Hiveswap, Pesterquest, The Epilogues, and Homestuck^2 as the exact same thing as the Paradox Space comics- fun supplementary material that doesn’t take place within the confines of the comic and is only canon in your head if you want it to be. This is what “Dubiously Canon” means. It means it is not canon unless you specifically want it to be canon in your specific idea of Homestuck as a concept.

So Hiveswap shouldn’t really be accounted for when discussing Homestuck’s worldbuilding as a baseline.

That said, in Homestuck, the Juggalo Cult is canonically incredibly fucking niche and Gamzee is a freak weirdo for being in it. Due to the way the whole thing plays out, I think it’s pretty impossible to detach from the Makaras and their general… Dicey-ness. I don’t really look at people sideways if they do it, though- for some reason, it’s a popular misconception that Gamzee was, like, totally normal for being into that cult and every Purpleblood ever is inexplicably also in it. It’s to a point where I kinda just have to accept it.

If you really want to avoid the vibes, you can just not make them a part of a Juggalo Cult. It’s pretty easy to do that. Hell, it’s easy to do that and still have them in some kind of stupid makeup. They can be in a cult that has its followers wear actual clown makeup, or mime makeup, or corpse paint. Maybe everyone’s in drag all the time. I don’t fucking know. There’s infinite possibilities in this world.

[the-real-rain-world-confessions]

I'm not really a vanilla purist I just think vanilla rain world was one of the greatest works of art to ever grace the medium of video games and has an incredible soul, while More Slugcats/Downpour is kindof like a really fun fanservice-y fanfiction thing full of neat headcanons and tells a nice story. Rivulet is very cute, I agree. I like that Moon calls them "Ruffles." Videogames can be all sorts of things, they can be a medium for self-reflection which challenges your emotions and develop your world-view through the richness of direct experience, but I also like New Super Mario Bros Wii and GTA5 and stuff. I dabble in some Project Diva Future Tone. It's very cool, and inspiring, and fun that a bunch of fans were inspired by something like Rain World and came together to make such a project as More Slugcats that can provide a lot of new stuff to play around with and explore, in all of the unique world-building that comes from the lore fans writing some headcanons and stuff, and the lighthearted fun of the artists adding goofy things like the hidden dating sim. What I'm kindof trying to say is, a lot of the people who say "downpour isn't canon" aren't actually being haters, they're just people who are actually engaging with art seriously and want to distinguish entirely different creative works from one another. And tangentially, it's also just a bit unfortunate how much a lot of the fandom absolutely loves Downpour but seemingly can't comprehend how anybody would care about Rain World before it existed. It's fine to not like vanilla, it's a pretty niche game, it's just a bit unfortunate. Especially because it's what Downpour was meant to celebrate in the first place. I'm sure a lot of its developers would be disheartened to see fans say the game was "bad" or "incomplete" before Downpour, it's the game they loved enough to dedicate years of work to.

.