#incredibly fucking sad

[inkskinned]

the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.

when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."

but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.

now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.

the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.

but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."

the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.

but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?

because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!

and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.

[burnedup-a]

* FEATURES : drug and alcohol mention.

as much as i literally JUST said that the songs didn't necessarily apply to him JUST now but i'm - c'mon put the right pronoun in and -

rebel yell is literally about being addicted to h*roin which y'know. adam can relate to. and all i'm gonna say is -

and both in the same vein as above but also on a sadder note -

HMM. well shit.

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[horsegirlhob]

Mark Scout was built in a fucking lab to be my favourite guy. The second they introduced him by showing him weeping uncontrollably in his car I was hooked. I could watch that man be sad forever.

[whoviandoodler]

been thinking about pok a lot again and that moment when riz told him sklonda was dating gorthalax (in some capacity or another) and pok just went quiet for a bit before he wished her well and like. he's riz's father to such a degree that it hurts. he died young, got to paradise and then said, ok time to go back to work, chop chop. and he does take breaks to listen to riz at his grave and he works in a beautiful meadow when he's not down in hell and -literally speaking- he does sit down but metaphorically he keeps on going and going.

and i'm just imagining that- obviously he knows that he's dead, right? but the human* brain is weird in that way where you'll know things, and you might even sit with them and think you've processed them, but then something will hit you out of left field and you'll realize there are so many aspects of the situation you hadn't internalized yet, and i think that one of those aspects for pok was sklonda, or rather all the dimensions in which her life branched off after he died. because with riz he'd always been painfully aware that his kid was growing up and changing, but with sklonda it's a bit more complicated, it's a bit easier to process the grief of being apart from her, purely on an unconscious level, as being away for work. he's working, she's working, she probably tells him about her work and about riz and riz includes his mom in his stories and it's like, oh this is horribly painful, that i can't be there, but in a way he and sklonda share a lot of what they used to when he was working abroad, no matter how far apart- they're always connected by their love for each other and the quiet but omnipresent nuptial tie and the state of being riz's parents.

and then he's suddenly hit with the reality of an area of sklonda's life that hadn't been on his mind before, considering they were happily and monogamously married. truly just a matter of like, this is not a space you occupy anymore, you're fucking dead, until death do us part and all that, and she might still love you but she loves you like a dead husband like a source of grief like the man she once knew not a living partner. and it's neither of their faults, it's purely a tragedy, and he genuinely wishes her the best because he loves her, he doesn't want her to be alone nor does he expect her to be faithful past reason and the vow they made to each other. but the grief of it still really fucking stings, doesn't it?

[mxrtified777]

you guessed it! its a bug compilation

[somecunttookmyurl]

if you want actual like on god for real actually exist you can see the papyri/tablets very incredibly cute egyptian letters absolutely go read translations of the amarna letters between king amenhotep III and his absolute bestest best friend in the whole wide world king tushratta of mitanni

[fandomunsexyman]

SVSSS is a novel with a fandom.

[ID: A Scum Villain edit of the "missing the point" meme. A bullet arcs from velinxi art of child Shen Jiu kneeling while furiously glaring. The bullet says, "People are not entirely one thing or the other and holding them to these extremes ignores the complexities that come with their humanity." It arcs over the head of a person across from it, who ignores the bullet and exclaims: "Wow!! Shen Jiu's only crime was being mean and was wrongly hated!" End ID]

[front-facing-pokemon]

[allastoredeer]

Eeeeeeek, your dark Lucifer WIP is so captivating! Lucifer comes across so insanely creepy it makes me want to hide in a remote corner. And then you also said you don't really start off your stories with Alastor and Lucifer not really liking each and then developing feelings over time, and in the context here... I just wonder what that would look like. This dark, creepy version of Lucifer developing a crush on Alastor. I wonder what would be the start of that change. 'Cause Alastor already has this primal, instinctive fear of this version of Lucifer who very much seems to want him dead. At the point when Lucifer starts crushing, I bet there would be a moment where Alastor breathes a sigh of relief because even if he doesn't reciprocate at the very least he can rest assured Lucifer doesn't want to pop him like a grape any more, right? Only it's his momentary peace that gets popped because Lucifer's weird creepy unsettling behavior doesn't stop and can you tell I'm rolling around on my bed kicking my feet like a schoolgirl yet?

I'm glad people are finding dark!Lucifer as captivating as I do ^.^

God, there are so many things I want to get into with this AU, but I'm stuck between not wanting to spoil anything for when I DO write it, but really wanting to talk about it because it's been on my brain for sooooo long and I want it out T.T

I guess, one thing I can say is that you're right about Alastor being able to sigh in relief when Lucifer develops feelings, because it gives him reassurance that he won't get snapped out of existence. Although, Charlie would be sad if Alastor got snapped out of existence, so he also had that going for him.

When I get around to properly writing this, I'm very excited to get into Lucifer's creepy side. I adore writing thrillers and suspense, and I've been wanting to read a Hazbin thriller fic sooo much.

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm so annoyed. @kingcrow01 tumblr ate your ask about Danny's opinion on the League. tumblr i pressed 'save draft' why didn't you sAVE DRAFT.

ANyways I'm making a post instead. For everyone else, the ask was in summary:

What was Danny's opinion on the League now that he's left it? If he missed the familiarity of it, if he recognized the cult-like behavior inside it, and if he now detested his grandfather.

And to answer (again, grrr): It's complicated! We love complicated <3. Yeah, Danny does miss the familiarity of the League, it was still his home for the first ten years of his life and he has a lot of memories there. Plenty of good along with the bad, and while he's less homesick than he was when he was 10, it still hits him like a truck at random intervals.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are great, and he likes the Drs. Fentons enough that he's contemplated murdering Vlad for his meddling, but if he wants to eat the same food his mother used to make him and Damian, he has to do it himself and he can't get the taste right. No one knows arabic so he speaks it to himself because he doesn't want to forget his mother tongue, and he has a few books too. Frankly? He genuinely misses training.

Getting to use Sam's gym helps with his restlessness, same with training with Maddie, but he has no one on or above his level to go against other than his mother. And he only sees her twice a year at most. He knows that he's getting stagnant and he fucking despises it like a bad itch he can't scratch.

He feels conflicted about missing the League, however, since by now he recognizes the flaws and what was wrong with it, and he recognizes that it was cult-like. But even that is kinda, hrm, complicated? If this was a fic I would be able to go better into depth about what he has and hasn't unlearned because cult deprogramming is hard and Danny's doing most of this on his own.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz have helped with the more obvious stuff: like the ecofascism, the disregard for human life, his emotional constipation; the more obvious stuff that shows in his behavior and personality. But none of them are professionals nor do they actually know the full extent of what Danny's life in the League was like. They only have snapshots since Danyal is very tight lipped about it. So they can only help with what they see themselves through Danny's behavior or word of mouth.

But in summary: He sees, for the most part, what's wrong with the League and disagrees with some of the stuff they do now. But he's very conflicted, and trying to dissect his feelings on the League confuses him. His protests about it whenever Sam and Tucker joke about it have at this point become mostly empty (altho it still causes him some discomfort), and its an inside joke between them three.

As for Ra's? Despises him. If only because Ra's wanted him to kill his little brother -- thinking about his motives with the League confuses Danny, cognitive dissonance and stuff, -- a lot of his hatred stems from "He wanted me to fight my baby brother to the death. I destroyed my relationship with Damian because of him, I had to fake my death and leave my home, and I will never meet my father or see my brother again because of him. Fuck that guy."

[nefertiti-fooling-fellow]

What if Aziraphale knew what kind of effect it would have when he offered to restore Crowley to full angelic status. What if Crowley walking away was what he wanted? What he needed to keep him safe? Aziraphale just never expected the kiss.

What if “Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death,” wasn’t just the name of a coffee shop, but also a threat? What if all of the lies we saw him told (Job’s children…The Miracle…), the performances we saw him put on (The Jane Austen ball…the Magician act) was all a lead up to his biggest lie yet? “You’re demons, you’re evil.”

What if that was what Aziraphale thought he needed to do to keep Crowley from putting himself in danger to “rescue” him one last time?

What if Aziraphale didn’t want to reform Heaven so much as he wanted to rip it up by the roots and tear it apart, so it can never hurt Crowley again?

What if he knew.

[vaguely-concerned]

so when adaar tells harding that they got her mother out of danger in ferelden before the blight really hit, and that she's safe with 'some old friends' for the duration... good people of tumblr I was just hit with the incredibly funny concept that harding's ma is spending the entirety of the veilguard double blight hanging out with the valo-kas mercenary company. ma harding and shokrakar is the buddy comedy duo I didn't realize I needed until right in this moment. they butt heads to begin with but end up seeing eye to eye eventually. with the help of some crates, and creativity.

(...in fact since harding's parents have canonically amicably divorced since inquisition.......( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hello my second nichest but also perhaps most valid dragon age pairing thus far. lace bringing taash home with her for the first time only to find her mother standing on a chair to also be passionately making out with a powerful and bluntly hilarious vashoth warrior is something that can actually be so personal.)

[russelliv]

what do you mean lewis' last race in mercedes is in 3 weeks? what do you mean we won't get any more britcedes fanzone, where they banter and ignore the host? where they say stupid shit like "my wrinkles are showing" and in return "black don't crack"? what do you mean we won't get to hear for the 1000th time about how lewis' singing in his driver's room both distracts and relaxes george? what do you mean we won't see lewis and george racing each other fair and square in the same colored car anymore? what do you mean we're losing the best driver lineup the grid currently has? what do you mean george and lewis won't encourage each other through ig comments and stories as teammates anymore? what do you mean they won't share those little ass parade cars where lewis' big stature and george's long legs has to squeeze between? what do you mean george will not get to be teammates with his idol growing up anymore? will not get to be the last teammate lewis ever have and instead be just second to the last? what do you mean all of the content we've gotten from them the past 2 years becomes older and looks older when both george and lewis inevitably change and grow older, but even then, their memories, moments, and respect towards each other remains the same and as precious as it always has been?

what the fuck do you mean it is over?

[secondstar-acorn]

the saddest fuckin scene in all of hatchetfield is the one in yellow jacket when ethan and hannah come home from pizza pete’s and lex is waiting with that single balloon and the hostess cupcake. when she talks about failing the test and trying desperately to make a good birthday for her sister but feels like she’s always letting her down. and she doesn’t get to celebrate with her because she has to open tomorrow. and THAT makes ethan agree to let hannah fight

[ratbastarddotfuck]

trans radfems will try to tell you that man hating is important allyship to trans women/fems and yet when there are no/few trans women in the room it's the man hating queers (of all sorts) who delve into casual transmisogyny extremely quickly without questioning it, all while patting themselves on the back for being wonderful allies because they say trans women are women.