#incredible time we're having over here
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been out of the house for like 6 hours feet hurt head hurts and i've gotta go bring cows in for the night eyyyy
#incredible time we're having over here#experiencing tractor problems when we are just trying to get the haying done#my chickens being criminals and escaping their pen in a way i just do not have time for#i am having the hell of knowing just what i want to do with the next few scenes of this fic but having had NO TIME to write today#ahghghghghghhhh#also tsv s3 teaser this morning got me feeling crazy cannot wait for it to land a few days before my bday#babbles
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...you know with a fandom that has lasted 30 years I'm sure I'm not saying anything new here, but 'right after his best friend from when he was thirteen (who he newly reunited with and asked to sleep over at his apartment. For Reasons) seemingly flicked his nipple (!!???? mark I have questions) to set him up for a prank and then cupped the back of his neck with rough affection in a deeply homoerotic way' sure is an incredibly specific moment for the camera to deny us access to fraser's expression fhksjafhas
(especially with the pattern over the many many times we see a woman hitting on him where his face will be clearly visible, with his expression placidly (one could be forgiven for starting to suspect tactically) uncomprehending/confused or uncomfortable. though we see him speak of specifically victoria for the first time turned away from the camera -- from behind, and only getting the faint reflection of his face in the window, to much the same effect. I think I might be on to something here.)
#I am definitely going to be looking out for that all over the place now haha. what does it mean. what does it MEAN#due south#benton fraser#listen actual overt queer rep is of course a good thing for us to have now. many MANY things sucked about how it used to be#we should not go back there. it was a dark time. how quickly some of us forget now that we have a wealth of things to choose from#but it used to be you had to suffer through things like the SGA episode 'the shrine' which is an amazing episode but ends#with the most intelligence-insulting no-homo inserted heterosexuality bullshit you've ever seen. and you just had to take it#you just had to grin and bear it. children I tell you those were dark days and we must not return to them#BUT we used to get some absolutely insane shit when the love dared not yet speak its name on network tv that's hard to match#we must put this amount of Texture and Insane-Making Implications into our current day queer fiction#we have to level up our sublimation game I think that's partly what makes the locked tomb so powerful#this show is incredible at the queercoding not queerbaiting balance honestly. probably because it takes even its silly characters#so seriously and so rarely surrenders even an inch to meanspiritness#(can't believe we had an episode with a whole kink club in it and I didn't flinch even once. i wasn't even worried I'd have to flinch#at any point. such is the acceptance and generosity of the tone we're working with here the majority of the time)#and then of course the riding off into the sunset together ending does cement all of that definitely at the end#for which I am very grateful haha#'I'm still proud (of you)' is such an INCREDIBLY kind and extremely fraser thing to say to mark in that moment tho. what the fuck
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no one is prepared for how insufferable @howthesleeplesswander and i are gonna be when this game comes out
you have at least 4-5 months of a warning before we go insane; please make the best of it (◕⍸ ◕✿)
#↳🔪₊˚. 《 ooc 》#i say as if i'm not already insufferable :)#but also srsly go play studio investigrave games i'm begging you#they're free (but you can pay to show ur appreciation if you want <3) and all absolutely stellar#this latest upcoming game already looks like such an incredible concept#investigrave really just has our number and keeps calling it tbh how tf#direct line to our interests every damn time#casi and i are already obsessed with benny and eddie just from the gorgeous art the creators have done of them#they've dONE IT AGAIN folks we're WHIPPED#anyway happy almost-friday pls bring the weekend i'm begging you#might reblog a meme over the weekend -- i need to write more here#hope everyone is taking care! (and staying warm <3)
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WHARE DID ALL MY MOOTS GO
#Y'all all out at the same time ??#😞#Got me lonely over here 😭#I have like 30 moots tho#Surprising honestly that I can't find one that's active#AT THE MOMENT#hopefully I see y'all when I post this 👁️👁️#I'm incredibly bored#Bleeehh :P#I just banged my head against the wall#Hashtag gaols 🙌#Sigh#What to do when bored#1. Kms#2. Jade#3. Something#4. Die#Someone from my school knows my Tumblr now#We're not moots tho#Thank God#And I don't share classes with him#But uh#I see him in the mornings 😬😬#I hope he doesn't see any of my posts or comments#That'd be so fucking embarrassing ☹️☹️🐺🐺#Especially WHEN I'M ABSOLUTELY ALL OVER MY POOKIES.#Like for example how I am extremely affectionate with Bie#Idk what she want to go by so I'm just gonna shorten her user (*´ω`*)#I love nice people :3#But also rude bitches.
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the only thing getting me through is the thought that i don't have physics lab next week
#i actually enjoy the work honestly#but the time constraint for getting things done is so anxiety inducing#it always makes me feel so inferior to everyone else#it's just always new stuff to me#and i take longer than everyone else to work through stuff#and it's hard for me to get stuff done#especially when it's new material#and because we're always given such broad and confusing directions#it makes me feel so stupid but i just wish that instructors could give more in depth and specific instructions#because otherwise it'll take me like five times as long as everyone else to figure out what we're actually supposed to be doing#and even then i'll be extra worried that i haven't got the right idea#even when i'm listening to or reading instructions i have to go over it several times before i understand#i need time for the words to become more than just symbols and sounds#and then i need time to connect their meaning to the context of what i'm doing#it's incredibly frustrating and demoralizing#and i know i'm smart and capable#i always end up doing well#i'm at an 'academically challenging institution' and i know i got in here on my own merit#hell i graduated as a valedictorian with the highest test scores in my high school#but still somehow every time i sit in a space next to other people#i feel infinitely small and worthless
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SO! I've wanted to talk about The Clip all day but felt like I should wait until the tumblr "premiere" (even though I think you were literally one of the first people to see it on Twitter lol). Thank you for defending my honor btw even if I am just Someone <3
But. Yes. Yeah. Yokoyama's absolute certainty in saying that??? Without anything to even buffer it? No maybe. No "don't expect too much." Just point-blank in front of a huge fan (whom I believe he's now going to be working with), a staff member, and a massive audience. As if that part isn't the matter of contention. I WILL be injecting those words directly into my veins for some time.
I was on the verge of choking and/or spewing blood and/or crying before posting it though lol, so I really appreciate the vote of confidence regarding the translation and I love your redraw! The reception as a whole has been really nice, although I wish people would keep it to themselves if they'd rather have Nishiki or Ryuji back or whatever. Not like it's a race, but even if it was, Mine's been in last place for ages lol.
And while I enjoy Y3's writing more than most, Mine's death wasn't some Grand Meaningful Statement, it was the decision of a fledgling studio that never knew if it would be able to keep making these games trying to tell a self-contained story. It did have far-reaching consequences for the series, but those consequences are also... not really relevant anymore?
Like, I can and have argued that Mine's death caused the fall of the Tojo Clan, but the clan has already fallen. So I don't see why some people are acting like revisiting his character would be A Spit In The Face to the saga somehow, but I guess I've never really been against characters being brought back...? A quote from the staff that's always stuck with me from the staff is that RGG is always going for RGG-ism, not realism.
Ranting aside... I honestly don't know if I should be saying this, but there's this new guy working the counter at Survive in some LaD8 behind the scenes footage. Now, upfront, I'm 99.8% sure it's not Mine (I happen to have a 100% accuracy rate so far identifying major RGG characters from extremely blurry images and silhouettes lmao), and I have no idea who it is, whether it's a new character or an old one heavily redesigned or Just Some Guy.
But he's not Kashiwagi. And he happens to have slicked-back dark brown hair with what appears to be an ahoge in some angles. And, unless the materials are temporary, he also dresses A Lot Like the celebrity Mine's design was based on. And his features... line up closely enough to piss me off, even though they don't fully match in the end, which is why I don't think it's him.
I'm in argumentative essay mode 100% of the time which is why I'm saying this in a "convincing" tone despite literally not believing it myself, but like... wouldn't that be something? To just have Mine part-timing at Survive or whatever and no one makes a big deal of it because they don't know any better? If nothing else, I really do think he should get The Bartender Treatment.
I dunno, I might post about it with a comparison tomorrow because it's been on my mind lately, especially with The News, but I really don't want people to get the wrong idea either. Or embarrass myself if it was too tenuous of a link to look that deeply into from the start lol
I remember seeing it two minutes after you posted it, so I can imagine I was one of the first to the scene of the crime (so my friends put it LMAO). AND OF COURSE I- and a lot of us- can't be any more grateful for all the work you do than we already are. I'd go insane trying to document and manage everything you do! especially when you have insane people like me ready to pounce on the smallest thing like I know I'd cry FJLKAJ The least I can do is give a proper title/credit to you when I can o7
If Yokoyama had any remaining hesitance about Mine being alive, then he REALLY would have fumbled by sounding so certain. Like in his old tweet, he certainly sounded more ambiguous, but this time he really had no extra notes and sounded more sure of himself. I won't expect RGG to do anything with Mine, but the concept is still very much exciting and the idea that Yokoyama almost seems earnest about the idea of bringing Mine back for whatever reason is very nice to know :] And thank you about enjoying the art I did! I can't lie in the slightest, since the last ask where you alluded to posting the clip, I had that drawing saved in the back of my head ready to make once you had that posted LMAO
But oohh not to touch drama since I generally try to Not touch it, but yeah I can't act like I haven't seen some people be. ""Interesting"" about the idea of Mine being alive. I won't dive too deep into it, but I think my major issue with the few grievances I've seen is that RGG hasn't done anything with Mine's alive status. As of right now, it's just a thing Yokoyama said, so I don't understand the need to be so angry about it (it's especially weird to say Ryuji hasn't been back when he not only got to be a playable protagonist in Dead Souls, but he was also the protagonist of RGGO- though I suppose I can understand wanting him in the mainline series again. Still, it's weird to act as though Mine's back any more than he is and being upset about it just because Yokoyama said he was alive)...
Moving on though, I'm really curious as to this 'mystery figure' you mean. I've been missing out on LaD8 production material, so I haven't seen this bit myself but I'd love to take a stab at it and analyze myself too. I agree though: if Mine does come back- whether he's working at Survive or anywhere else- I would greatly prefer if he had The Bartender status and was just never really called attention to and only existed in the background
#long post#snap chats#it'd be hilarious if mine came back and he was just there... just slap glasses o him and call it a day#like pleeaaasssee that'll be so funnyy if he does come back in LaD8 i dont want a dramatic reveal or whatever#i want the exact same shit like with kashiwagi just have the gang like. visit daigo and co at the security company#and the bitch at the front desk You Wouldnt Fucking Believe It Oh My God#i'd laugh so loud oh my god pleaaase yokoyama do it. you should also make ryuji just a random takoyaki salemen in 8#just so we're covering our bases here because im a ryuji-just-sells-octopus-balls truther#oh but on Mine's Death Fucked With The Tojo i definitely support the notion that he was a huge. Forgive The Pun asset to it#like i guess there's a lot of speculation and suggestions- at least on my end- when it coems to mine's importance#i mean we KNOW he was incredibly impotrant financially if katsuragi was anything to go off of#and listen ik i make the Widow Daigo joke a lot but geniunely i can imagine if daigo lost someone close to him he wouldnt be 100%#liiiiikkee i'll reserve the rant/ramble for my Daigo Essay but im just saying it cant be easy running a ship on your own with no real peers#yk cause pretty much everyone was older than him or only there for an ulterior motive and Blah Blah ill save the rest for another day#im rambling as is LMAO and i dont wanna say anythin FOOLISH#but yeah on mine coming back tho i dont think itd really tarnish any kind of thing his death could have done#like he died. or 'died'. 15 years ago (at the time of 2024)#the tojo's long gone by then it's been gone for five years at that point so it's not like mine would just Resume As Usual#he'd be starting over just as much as the other tojo clan members are yk what i mean#like i really cant think of. what else mine's death has done for the franchise that wolud be 'undone' if he was back#so yk. Why Not. it'd be funny and i think that's the only thing that matters ☠️ my dedication to the bit lets me forgive Insane Shit LMAO#but thats enough blabbering from meeeee thank you for writing in !
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Not an image, but for ppl in the US don't forget about the 988 line! Easy to dial and nationwide
my favorite picture ever is the one that says “HELL IS FULL, BITCH” and then it has the national suicide prevention hotline on it. it makes me smile every time
#shout out when i worked there#all hotlines have their issues - i got fucked over by one when i needed them#and while i can't promise incredible results for every 988 center in your local location#it's legit! there's months of studying and testing to be approved as a volunteer#and much much more to be a full time worker who now handle crisis calls#if you need help please call#we're here to help#someone cares even when it seems like no one does#i promise
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Just ended up seeing part of a1p1 and. Saw the look Owen gives to Curt as they start to turn away from the audience on 'time to put on your tux again'. I feel like crying???
This was after replaying the moment specifically bc I caught the start of the choreography right after and the arm grab felt like a punch in the gut. Guys I think I might care a little bit too much about this choreography and this show and these characters
#definitely was spooky#THE CONNECTION. THE INTENSITY. THE TRUST.#THEY RELY ON EACH OTHER THEY DEPEND ON EACH OTHER.#choreography that tells you as quickly as possible how close and important these characters' bond is#even when you don't necessarily know Why yet you know that there is an incredibly strong bond there#it's a dance that they do together. it's representative#they reach out for each other at the same time. and neither misses. the other is right there reaching back.#and then the look to the audience messes me up too.#i'm incredibly normal about the fourth wall.#that moment to me (at least right now but i've noticed it before) feels like (at least on a rewatch maybe) saying Witness This.#bc of the blocking curt is turned more towards the audience. we are a viewer that is there with him and is included in the moment.#we're invited in. acknowledged as part of the team. we're coming on this journey with him and he's noticed we're here.#owen is turned away and he looks back over his shoulder. he knew we were here. an actor ought to know where their audience is.#like he's checking we're still here. prepare to watch the show. before returning to the real focus - the man before him and the task at han#idk i just. curt looking at what's in front of him. just now noticing what is with him#owen looking back to check. owen looking back.#turned away like he's about to leave but he looks back at us. checking if we're watching. witness this.#i am aware that i am on about absolute nonsense here i am just having a moment#i love making things up for fun#however if i ever do somehow get the chance to play owen i will be thinking a lot about any slight interaction with the audience!#because that is how i roll. overthinking something that makes no difference to anyone else but does To Me
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#cant sleep... but im having big thoughts and feelings about connie. our dearest weird sci-fi baby#put the thoughts down in a draft to come back to with a more well rester approach. but man...#i try and approach fandom-y stuff fairly neutral-like. bcs. to each their own. and as long as we're all having fun. and etc etc#but! i do have opinions. and one of those opinions is. that those that think connie's existence is genuinely weird or a joke. are weak#i say that lightheartedly. but still. fucking youre suprised by weird science in yhe weird science comic????? really??#like. im still new-ish to the comics. only started reading them all within the past 2ish years. but still. wtf is up with other nrw folks#again. not trying to sound mean or judgmental or smth. just. TF is a sci-fi with weird alien science shit. why are we surprised???#i get the joke ig. but theres far weirder stuff in tf as a whole. both canon qnd fanon. lets be honest. so why her?#not ignoring those that do enjoy her as a character. byt its like. shes more than just that odd lil purple baby#shes a product of war. her existence is so complicated and kinda sad. but fascinating and full of potential#shes a bridge between organics and cybertronians in a time where things are incredibly tense in the galaxy between both#shes being raised not only by grim. but by cons. cons whos beliefs once held organics as lesser. as smth to be rid of. smth to destroy#her impact on them. their views. their beliefs. and how they approach ehat theyve done to their galaxy. could've been so neat. aughhhhhhhgg#i need to sleep.but yeah. idk. yhis isnt a new take i imagne. but seeing some stuff is making me yhink of iy and her#i5 seems so obvious smtims that some folks just arnt used to werid scifi shit lmao. like. pft. expl9rrn scifi sm more pls omg#esp with sm if 5he fanon stuff ya get here. like. i say this lov8jgly. but phew man. tf fans are built different alright. with respect ofc#i dont judge. i juts uh. iften get nauseous over a certain common thing. bcs its too huamn ig. idfk. when its mor alin or whtcer its fine#ok. sleel tims👍 goo night
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but daddy i love him. part two - mv1
summary: in the world of formula 1, where competition runs deep and loyalties are tested, yn wolff and max verstappen found themselves caught in the middle . as the daughter of mercedes team principal and the rising red bull star, they must navigate the balance between rivalries and love. wc:13.5k. READ PART ONE
folkie radio: HERE IT IS !!!! THE OTHER PART OF THEIR STORY !!! first of all i want to thank you all for the incredible support on part one, it was so nice to read all of your feedback ! please make sure to leave some feedback on this part as well. let me know ALL of your thoughts, and most importantly, ENJOY!
Monaco, 2021
The two weeks after Abu Dhabi are the longest of your life. Your phone remains silent - no late-night calls, no secret messages, no pictures of the cats that Max knows always make you smile. The space where he used to be feels enormous.
Your father is still dealing with the aftermath, appeals and media statements consuming his days. You watch him move through the house like a storm cloud, muttering about Masi and the FIA, and think about Max's words: "perfect Mercedes daughter."
You've never felt less perfect.
It's late one night when the doorbell rings. You're alone in the apartment - the one that's technically yours but has become a sanctuary for both of you over the past year. When you open the door, Max is standing there, looking as exhausted as you feel.
"Hi," he says softly.
You stand aside to let him in, heart pounding.
"I'm sorry," he says before you can speak. "I was cruel that night. You didn't deserve that."
"No, I didn't."
He runs a hand through his hair - a gesture so familiar it makes your chest ache. "I was high on winning, angry you weren't there, and I took it out on you. But that's not an excuse."
"I'm sorry too," you move closer. "You were right about some things. I should have been there for your celebration. It was your moment."
"It wasn't just my moment though, was it?" He sits on the couch, looking up at you. "It was your father's worst nightmare. Lewis' heartbreak. The most controversial end to a season ever." He laughs quietly. "Not exactly the best timing to announce we're in love."
You sit beside him, careful to maintain a small distance. "So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying… you were right. Telling them now, with everything so raw… it would be like throwing fuel on a fire." He reaches for your hand, and you let him take it. "I was so focused on finally being able to tell everyone, I didn't think about what that would mean for you. For your relationship with your dad."
"Max…"
"No, let me finish." His thumb traces patterns on your palm - another familiar gesture that makes tears prick at your eyes. "I've spent six years loving you. I can wait a bit longer for the timing to be right. For the wounds to heal a bit."
"What about what you said? About not being my dirty little secret anymore?"
"You're not keeping me a secret because you're ashamed," he says quietly. "You're protecting your family. And mine too, probably. Can you imagine Jos' reaction if we told him now?"
You both wince at the thought.
"So what do we do?" you ask.
He tugs you closer until you're against his chest, where you can hear his heartbeat - steady and strong and familiar. "We love each other. We wait for the right moment. And this time…" he kisses your head, "this time we decide together when that moment is. No ultimatums, no pressure."
"I missed you," you whisper into his shirt.
"I missed you too. These two weeks…" he shudders slightly. "Never again, okay? No matter how angry we get, no silence. We talk it out."
You lift your head to look at him properly. "Promise?"
Instead of answering, he kisses you - soft and sweet and apologetic. When he pulls back, he rests his forehead against yours.
"I love you," he says. "Mercedes daughter and all."
You laugh through sudden tears. "I love you too. Even when you're being an insufferable World Champion."
"Speaking of…" he grins, that boyish smile you fell in love with all those years ago, "I believe this is the first time I'm kissing you as a World Champion."
"Technically you've already kissed me as a World Champion."
"Ah, but that was angry championship kissing. This is making up championship kissing. Completely different."
You roll your eyes but let him pull you closer. "Is that so?"
"Mhmm. Much better. Want me to demonstrate the difference?"
Later, curled up in bed together, you talk about the future - not just when to tell everyone, but what comes after. Houses and holidays and maybe someday kids who'll have Wolff determination and Verstappen speed.
"Your dad might actually kill me when we tell him," Max muses, playing with your hair.
"Probably. But at least by then he might have calmed down about Abu Dhabi."
"That's optimistic of you."
You prop yourself up on an elbow to look at him. "Are you okay with waiting? Really okay?"
He considers this, serious now. "Yeah, I am. Because this time it feels different. This time we're deciding together." He touches your face gently. "And because this time I know you're not running away."
"Never again," you promise. "No more running."
As you fall asleep in his arms, you think about timing and choices and love that survives silence. Maybe it's not perfect - sneaking around, hiding from families, loving in the shadows.
But it's yours. And for now, that's enough.
2022
After Abu Dhabi last year, you and Max spent a quiet Christmas apart with your respective families, but managed to escape for New Year's. Away from the media frenzy and family tensions, you found peace in the simple moments - cooking together, watching movies, Max trying (and failing) to teach you sim racing.
On New Year's Eve, standing on your balcony watching fireworks illuminate the harbor, Max held you from behind. "This is how I want every year to start," he murmured against your neck.
"Just us?"
"Just us. No drama, no hiding, no championships on the line."
You turned in his arms. "Well, about that last part…"
"Okay, maybe some championships," he grinned. "But the rest… we'll figure it out, right?"
"We will," you promised, sealing it with a kiss as the clock struck midnight.
The first weeks of 2022 brought exciting changes. Susie announced her plans for the F1 Academy, a project aimed at supporting young female drivers, and immediately asked you to join her team.
"I need someone I can trust completely," she said during one of your planning sessions. "Someone who understands both the technical and human side of racing."
"Are you sure? It's a huge responsibility."
"YN, you're perfect for this. You've grown up in this sport, you understand the challenges these girls will face." Susie squeezed your hand. "Plus, you're the only person besides Toto who can match my caffeine consumption during race weekends."
Working closely with Susie brought you closer than ever. She became more than just your father's wife - she was your confidante, mentor, and friend. You spent long hours together, planning programs, reviewing applications, discussing how to break down barriers in motorsport.
Which made the current breakfast situation even more uncomfortable.
"Andreas has an impressive background in aerodynamics," Toto was saying, seemingly oblivious to your discomfort. "Oxford educated, worked with Ferrari's junior program…"
"Dad," you interrupted, pushing your eggs around your plate. "Can we maybe not?"
"I'm just saying, YN, you should give him a chance. He's exactly the kind of person who would understand your world."
Lewis and George exchanged knowing looks while Susie watched you carefully.
"The new regulations are keeping me busy enough," you tried. "Between that and the Academy with Susie…"
"There's always time for personal life," Toto persisted. "You're young, successful, beautiful. You shouldn't spend all your time buried in work."
After breakfast, Susie found you in your office, surrounded by Academy paperwork.
"Want to talk about it?" she asked, closing the door.
"About Dad's sudden career as a matchmaker?"
"He means well," Susie sat across from you. "He just wants you to be happy."
"Can you maybe… talk to him? Get him to drop it?"
"Why? Andreas seems like a lovely young man. Smart, ambitious…"
You set down your pen, heart racing. This was it - the moment to trust someone else with your secret.
"I… I already have someone."
Susie's eyebrows shot up. "Oh? How did I not know about this?"
"Because…" you took a deep breath. "Because it's complicated. Really complicated."
"YN," Susie leaned forward, "you can tell me anything. You know that, right?"
"It's Max," you whispered. "Max Verstappen."
Susie's eyes widened, but she didn't immediately speak. She got up, locked your office door, and sat back down.
"How long?"
"Since 2015, on and off, you know that story. But seriously since I came back in 2020."
"Through everything? The championship battle?"
You nodded, tears forming. "It was… difficult. Especially Abu Dhabi."
"Oh, sweetheart," Susie moved to your side, pulling you into a hug. "That must have been awful for you."
"You're not… mad?"
"Mad? Why would I be mad?"
"Because he's Red Bull, because of everything with Dad…"
"Listen to me," Susie pulled back to look at you. "Love doesn't care about team colors. God knows this sport has enough rivalry without policing people's hearts too."
"I don't know what to do," you admitted. "We want to tell everyone, but after Abu Dhabi…"
"The timing's not great," Susie agreed. "But YN, you can't hide forever. It'll only get harder."
"I know. But Papa…"
"Your father loves you more than anything in this world. More than Mercedes, more than championships." She squeezed your hands. "Will he be shocked? Absolutely. Probably throw something expensive. But he'll come around."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I've seen how he looks at you - like you're still that little girl who used to fall asleep in the garage. He might not like your choice, but he'll respect it. Eventually."
"He was furious back then, said Max was too young, too reckless, that it would end in disaster. He threatened to send me back to boarding school."
"That explains a lot," Susie said softly. "Why he's been so pushy about these 'suitable' men lately."
"He thinks he protected me back then. Maybe he did - we were young, and things got messy. But now…"
"Now you're both different people," Susie finished. She was quiet for a moment, thinking. "You know what the real issue was back then?"
"That Max was the enemy?" you said dryly.
"No. That Toto couldn't control it. He's used to managing everything, planning ten steps ahead. But this…" she gestured vaguely, "this wasn't in his carefully constructed plan for you."
"I never wanted to disappoint him."
"Hey," Susie's voice was firm. "Loving someone isn't disappointing. It's probably the bravest thing we do."
"Thanks," you whisper, hugging Susie tightly. "For understanding. For not judging."
"Just... be careful, okay? And know that I'm here if you need to talk."
The conversation with Susie lifts a weight you didn't realize you were carrying. Having someone know, someone in your corner, makes everything feel more manageable.
Bahrain, 2022
The morning of the Bahrain Grand Prix buzzed with the familiar nervous energy of a season opener. You were in one of the back offices of the F1 Academy, triple-checking schedules and programs for the upcoming season, when you felt arms wrap around you from behind.
"Shouldn't you be in pre-race prep?" you asked, trying to sound stern but failing to hide your smile.
"I have fifteen minutes," Max murmured, pressing a kiss to your neck. "Wanted to wish you luck. Big day for you too."
You turned in his arms. "Nervous?"
"About the race? Nah." He grinned. "About you stealing the spotlight with the Academy launch? Terrified."
"Idiot," you laughed, playing with the collar of his race suit. "As if anything could overshadow the great Max Verstappen."
"Hey," his expression turned serious. "What you're doing here… it's important. You're going to change lives."
"Now who's being dramatic?"
"I mean it," he insisted. "You remember what it was like, being the only girl in karting? These kids won't have to feel that way because of you and Susie."
"Well... I quit karting after a year," you joke and Max rolls his eyes, "Oh come on, just kiss me before you have to go all defending world champion on track."
And he does, but before you can go any further the door opened.
"YN, have you seen the timing sheets from- OH SHIT!"
George Russell stood frozen in the doorway, his eyes wide as saucers. You and Max jumped apart like teenagers caught by their parents.
"I… um… I should…" George stammered, pointing vaguely behind him.
"George, wait!" You rushed to close the door before he could escape. "Please…"
"This is literally my first day as a Mercedes driver and I'm already caught in..." he gestures wildly between you and Max.
"George," you step forward, "you CANNOT tell my dad."
"I... what... how long..." he stammers.
"Please," Max speaks up, "We'll explain everything, just... keep this between us?"
George looks between you and Max, then sighs dramatically. "Well, I guess this is one way to start my Mercedes career - harboring my team principal's daughter's secret relationship with our biggest rival."
"Welcome to Mercedes?" you offer weakly.
"Right," George shakes his head, but he's fighting a smile. "I'm going to leave, pretend I never saw this, and maybe drink enough tonight to forget it entirely."
As he turns to go, he pauses. "But for what it's worth? Your secret's safe with me."
The door closes behind him, and you collapse against Max, half laughing, half panicking.
"Well," Max says dryly, "that's one more person who knows. At this rate, the only person who won't know will be your father."
You looked up at him. "You should go. GP will be looking for you."
"Yeah," he sighed, but made no move to leave. "Good luck today. Show them what the Wolff women can do."
"Good luck to you too. Try not to make Dad throw anything at the TV?"
He laughed, kissing you quickly. "No promises. But hey," he paused at the door, "for what it's worth, George's reaction wasn't terrible. Maybe there's hope for the others too."
As you watched him leave, you couldn't help but smile. One more person in their corner, one more step toward not hiding. Maybe, just maybe, the universe was trying to tell you something.
Singapore, 2022
The humidity of Singapore still clung to the air as most of the paddock crowded into Marquee, celebrating another street circuit spectacle. The bass pulsed through the exclusive VIP section where drivers and key personnel gathered.
You were at the bar with Lewis when Andreas appeared, looking particularly polished.
"YN Wolff," he smiled, a bit too confidently. "I was hoping to find you here."
You caught Lewis' subtle eye roll as he conveniently spotted someone he "needed to talk to."
"Andreas, hi," you tried to sound polite but distant, very aware of Max watching from across the room where he sat with Lando and Charles.
"You looked beautiful today in the paddock," he moved closer. "That dress you wore to the team dinner…"
"Thanks," you cut him off, scanning for an escape route. You found none.
"Your father mentions you're still single," he continued, either oblivious to or ignoring your discomfort. "I find that hard to believe."
At the other end of the VIP section, Max's jaw clenched as he watched the scene unfold.
"Mate, you're going to break that glass," Lando noted, watching Max's white-knuckled grip on his drink.
"Who is that guy?" Charles asked, following Max's gaze.
"Some engineer Toto's trying to set YN up with," Lando explained, then froze, realizing what he'd revealed.
Charles' eyes widened. "Wait, why do you know that? And why does Max look like he's about to commit murder?"
Before Lando could deflect, Max stood abruptly as Andreas placed his hand on your lower back.
"Oh shit," Lando muttered.
"I don't understand," Charles said, watching Max stride across the room. "Why is he- oh. OH."
Back at the bar, you were trying to subtly remove Andreas hand when you felt a familiar presence behind you.
"Everything okay here?" Max's voice was controlled, but you could hear the edge in it.
Andreas looked annoyed at the interruption. "We're fine, thank you."
"I wasn't asking you," Max said coldly, then softer: "YN?"
You turned toward him gratefully. "Actually, Max, would you mind helping me with something?"
"Of course," he placed his hand where Andreas' had been, but this touch was different - protective, familiar, right.
Andreas looked between you two, confusion turning to understanding. "Wait, are you…"
"She's not interested," Max said simply. "Never was."
You let Max guide you away from the bar, very aware of the eyes following you. Lando and Charles weren't even trying to hide their interest now, and you noticed Carlos and Pierre joining them, speaking in hushed tones.
"You didn't have to do that," you said quietly.
"Yes, I did." Max's hand hadn't left your back. "I'm tired of watching guys hit on my girlfriend because they think she's available."
You reached the relative privacy of a corner booth. "Max…"
"I know, I know. We're being careful. But YN," he turned to face you, "half the paddock already suspects something. Charles and Carlos are literally taking bets right now."
You glanced over - sure enough, money was being exchanged. "Great."
"Would it be so terrible?" Max asked. "If people knew?"
"No," you admitted. "But Dad…"
"Will find out eventually. Wouldn't you rather he heard it from us than through paddock gossip?"
You were about to respond when George appeared, slightly out of breath.
"You two need to be more subtle," he hissed. "Lando just asked me if there was something going on between you."
"What did you say?" you asked anxiously.
"I'm a terrible liar! I just made a noise and ran away!"
Max couldn't help laughing. "Smooth, Russell."
"This isn't funny," George insisted. "Look!"
You followed his gesture. The other drivers were gathered together, all of them looking your way occasionally.
"Oh god," you groaned. "They all know, don't they?"
"If they didn't before, they do now," George confirmed. "Max's little knight-in-shining-armor act wasn't exactly subtle."
"He had his hands all over you," Max defended.
"His hand was on my back for two seconds!"
"Two seconds too long."
George looked between you, amused. "You two are ridiculous. Also, heads up - Lando is coming over."
Sure enough, Lando was making his way through the crowd. He slid into your booth without invitation, expression unreadable.
"So," he said calmly, "how long?"
You glanced at Max, who squeezed your hand under the table. "Since 2020."
"Through the championship battle?" When you nodded, Lando let out a low whistle. "Damn, girl. That must have been…"
"Horrible," you finished. "But we managed."
Lando studied Max for a moment. "You better be sure about this. Because when Toto finds out…"
"I am," Max said firmly. "We both are."
"Good." Lando smiled finally. "Because I'm pretty sure Daniel just started a betting pool on how Toto's going to react, and I've got money on him throwing his headphones."
"Lando!" you exclaimed.
"What? Might as well profit from the drama." He stood up. "For what it's worth, I think it's kind of perfect. In a weird, Romeo and Juliet way."
"They both died in that story," George pointed out.
"Details," Lando waved him off. "Come on, George. Let's go see what odds Daniel's offering."
As they left, you buried your face in Max's shoulder. "This is a disaster."
"Is it?" he asked, running his hand up your arm. "Look around - no one seems shocked or angry. Well, except maybe Andreas."
You peaked up - he was right. The drivers were all still watching, but their expressions were mostly amused or knowing. Carlos gave you a thumbs up when he caught your eye.
"I guess the secret's out," you sighed. "At least in this room."
"Good." Max tilted your chin up. "Because I really want to kiss you right now."
"Max! Everyone's watching."
"Let them watch."
And before you could protest, he kissed you. When you pulled back, Max was grinning. "See? World didn't end."
"No," you said softly, "It really didn't."
The night continued, but differently now. No more hiding in corners or pretending not to know each other. Just you and Max, surrounded by friends who were apparently more supportive than you'd imagined.
Now you just had to figure out how to tell your father that his entire team - including his wife - had known about your relationship before him.
A late afternoon in Monaco, in Toto's office overlooking the harbor. What had started as a routine pre-race weekend meeting had quickly derailed when Andreas' name came up again.
"He asked about you again," Toto said, shuffling some papers on his desk. "He's a good man, YN. Smart, ambitious…"
"Dad," you cut in, "I've told you, I'm not interested in Andreas."
"You haven't even given him a chance," he insisted. "One dinner…"
"No."
Toto sighed, that familiar mix of frustration and concern crossing his face. "Liebling, I worry about you. Ever since that rebellious phase with Verstappen when you were eighteen…"
You tensed, feeling your heart rate spike. In the corner, you saw Lewis shift uncomfortably - he'd been quietly reviewing race strategies, but now he was fully alert.
"Dad…"
"You haven't been serious about anyone," Toto continued. "I know that boy hurt you, but you can't let one teenage romance…"
"You don't know anything about it," you said quietly, dangerously.
"I know enough. I know he was reckless, impulsive. I know ending it was the right decision."
Lewis cleared his throat. "Toto, maybe we should focus on qualifying…"
But Toto was on a roll now. "Andreas is different. He understands our world, he's stable…"
"He's boring," you snapped. "And you don't get to decide who I date."
"I'm trying to protect you!"
"From what?" You stood up. "From making my own choices? From being with someone who actually makes me happy?"
"Max Verstappen did not make you happy!" Toto's voice rose. "He was a distraction, a rebellion…"
"He was everything!" The words exploded out before you could stop them.
The office went deadly quiet. Lewis had his head in his hands.
"What?" Toto asked softly, dangerously.
You swallowed hard, years of secrets sitting heavy on your tongue. "You didn't protect me back then, Dad. You forced us apart. But you want to know something? He was never just a rebellion."
Toto stands slowly, his expression unreadable. "What are you saying, YN?"
You take a deep breath, catching Lewis' subtle head shake in your peripheral vision. The words are there, the whole truth ready to spill out, but... not like this. Not in anger.
"I'm saying I'm not eighteen anymore," you say finally, your voice steady. "I'm a grown woman who runs part of this team, who's helping build the F1 Academy with Susie. I make my own choices - about my career, about my life, about who I date."
"I only want what's best for you," Toto says, softer now.
"Then trust me to know what that is." You move toward the door, pausing with your hand on the handle. "And please, stop trying to set me up with Andreas. Or anyone else."
Zandvoort, 2022
The Dutch air mingles with the lingering scent of champagne in Max's private motorhome. The celebrations outside are still going strong - Dutch fans painting Zandvoort orange in honor of their hero's home win - but here, in this quiet space, it's just the two of you.
"Happy birthday," Max says softly, pulling a small wrapped package from behind his back. You're curled up on his couch, still wearing his Red Bull team jacket that you'd snuck on after everyone else had left.
"You already said that this morning," you smile, but take the package. "And before the race. And after you won."
"Well, it's not every day you turn twenty-five. And it's not every day I win at home on your birthday."
The package reveals a delicate gold necklace with a tiny racing helmet charm. But when you look closer, you notice something engraved on the back of the helmet - 15.03.15.
"The day we met," you whisper, running your finger over the date.
"I thought about getting something more obvious, but since we're still keeping us quiet…" He takes the necklace, moving behind you to clasp it around your neck. "This way you can wear it without anyone asking questions."
You touch the charm resting against your collarbone. "It's perfect."
"Unlike the cake situation," he grins, glancing at the remains of what was supposed to be a homemade birthday cake on the counter. "I really did try."
You laugh, remembering walking in to find Max covered in flour, frustration etched on his face as he stared at the somewhat lopsided creation. "The thought counts. Though maybe stick to driving?"
"Hey, I won today! I deserve some respect."
"You always win here," you tease. "It's your home race."
"True." He pulls you closer, until you're practically in his lap. "But winning on your birthday makes it special. Even if I couldn't kiss you in parc ferme."
"Dad would have had a heart attack right there in the garage."
"Speaking of Toto…" Max's voice turns serious. "How was the birthday lunch with him?"
You think back to the awkward meal, where your father had once again tried to subtly mention Andreas. "Same as usual. He means well."
"Still pushing the Andreas agenda?"
"Mhmm. Though Susie shut it down pretty quickly this time." You play with the helmet charm. "Can we not talk about it tho?
Max kisses your temple. "Whatever you want. It's your birthday - you make the rules."
"In that case…" you turn to face him properly. "I want to dance."
He groans. "YN…"
"Birthday rules," you remind him, already standing and pulling out your phone. When the first notes of a slow song fill the motorhome, you hold out your hand. "Dance with your birthday girl, World Champion."
He takes your hand, pulling you close as you sway together. Outside, you can still hear the distant sounds of celebrating fans, but in here it's just the music, Max's heartbeat under your ear, and the weight of a tiny gold helmet against your skin.
"This is nice," Max murmurs into your hair. "Though if anyone sees the mighty Max Verstappen slow dancing…"
"Your reputation will survive." You lift your head to look at him. "Thank you for making my birthday special, even if we had to celebrate in secret."
"Next year," he promises, "we'll do it properly. Big party, everyone we love, no hiding."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." He spins you gently. "But for now…" He dips you dramatically, making you laugh. "I kind of like having birthday girl all to myself."
You kiss him then, tasting chocolate and victory champagne and love that's grown from teenage rebellion into something unshakeable.
"Best birthday ever," you whisper against his lips.
Outside, Zandvoort celebrates its champion. Inside, in this quiet space that belongs just to you, you celebrate something else - another year of loving each other, of building a life in the spaces between public and private, of planning for a future where you won't have to choose between family and love.
For now, though, you're content to dance in a motorhome, wearing his team jacket and a gold helmet that carries your history, celebrating not just your birthday but everything you've built together.
Monaco, Summer 2023
The sleek car glides through Monaco's winding streets, but you can barely focus on the stunning views. Max's mysterious smile has you intrigued and slightly nervous - he's been unusually secretive all day.
"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" you ask for probably the tenth time, fidgeting with the sleeve of your sundress.
"Patience," he says, taking one hand off the wheel to squeeze yours. "We're almost there."
"You know I hate surprises."
He laughs. "No, you love surprises. You just hate not being in control."
He turns onto a quiet street lined with elegant villas, each one more beautiful than the last. The Mediterranean stretches out below, a perfect azure canvas. Your heart starts racing when he pulls into a driveway. The house is stunning - modern yet classic, with large windows and a terrace overlooking the sea.
"Max…" you start, but he's already out of the car and opening your door.
"Come on," he says, taking your hand. His excitement is palpable as he leads you to the front door. "Close your eyes."
"Really?"
"Trust me."
You do as he asks, letting him guide you forward. You hear keys jingling, a door opening, then his soft "Okay, open them."
The interior takes your breath away - open and airy, with natural light streaming in from every angle. But it's not just the architecture that catches your attention - there are small touches that feel incredibly personal. Racing memorabilia tastefully displayed, a few framed photos you recognize from your own collection.
"I bought it," Max says softly, watching your reaction. "For us."
You turn to face him, eyes wide. "What?"
"I want this to be our home," he continues, his voice full of emotion. He takes both your hands in his. "Where we can grow old together, maybe raise a family someday. No more sneaking around, no more hiding. Just us."
"But… when? How?"
"I've been working with a realtor for months. Remember all those 'simulator sessions' I had to do?" He grins sheepishly. "I was actually house hunting."
"You sneaky…" You trail off, speechless.
"Want to see the rest?" He's practically bouncing with excitement now. "There's a home gym downstairs, and the kitchen is amazing - I know how much you love to cook. And wait until you see the master bedroom…"
Tears start falling before you can stop them. Max reaches up to wipe them away, but you catch his hand.
"You bought us a house," you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. "You planned this whole future for us, and I can't even tell my dad about us."
"Hey," he pulls you close, one hand cradling the back of your head. "It's okay. We'll figure it out together, like we always do."
"No, it's not okay." You pull back to look at him. "You've been so patient, Max. For years. And I've been such a coward."
"You're not a coward," he says firmly. "Our relationship is complicated. I understand that."
"Still." You shake your head, suddenly determined. "I'm telling him tomorrow."
"YN, you don't have to—"
"I want to." You look around at this beautiful space he's created for your future. "You've given us a home. The least I can do is be brave enough to fight for us."
"Are you sure?" His eyes search yours. "Because if you're not ready…"
"I'm sure." You walk to the windows, taking in the view. "Besides, can you imagine trying to explain why I'm suddenly moving to a new house without telling him why?"
Max comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "We could tell him you've developed a sudden passion for real estate investment."
You laugh despite your tears. "Yes, because that would totally explain why half my clothes are already in that closet I spotted upstairs."
"You noticed that, huh?"
"The Dior dress from the FIA gala was a bit of a giveaway." You turn in his arms. "How long have you been moving my things in?"
"A while," he admits. "Susie helped."
"Of course she did." You shake your head fondly. "Any other conspirators I should know about?"
"Well, Lewis might have helped coordinate the furniture delivery…"
"Lewis?!" You pull back to stare at him. "Lewis Hamilton helped you furnish our secret love nest?"
Max winces. "Please never call it that again. And yes - turns out he has great taste in interior design."
You laugh, really laugh, and it feels like releasing years of tension. "This is insane. We're insane."
"Maybe," he agrees, pulling you close again. "But it's a good kind of insane, right?"
You look around at this beautiful house - your house - taking in all the thoughtful details. The photos telling your story, the mix of both your tastes in the décor, the way the space already feels like home.
"The best kind," you whisper, and kiss him.
Max kisses you back, soft and sweet, and you can feel his smile against your lips. When you finally part, he rests his forehead against yours.
"So," he says, "want to see our bedroom?"
"Our bedroom," you repeat, testing the words. "I like how that sounds."
"Me too." He takes your hand, leading you toward the stairs. "Though fair warning - I let Lando help with the media room setup, so that might need some adjustments."
"Oh god."
"Yeah, there may be more gaming consoles than strictly necessary…"
In this moment, in your new home, tomorrow's confrontation feels less daunting. After all, you've built something real and lasting here - something worth fighting for. And as Max leads you through your future together, room by room, you can't help but think that maybe it's time for everyone to know.
You've been standing outside your father's office at Mercedes for what feels like hours, but the watch on your wrist says it's only been ten minutes. Taking a deep breath, you finally knock.
"Come in," his familiar voice calls out.
Toto looks up from his desk, his face brightening when he sees you. "Schatz! What a lovely surprise." He stands to greet you, but pauses when he notices your expression. "What's wrong?"
"Papa, I need to tell you something." Your voice trembles slightly. "And I need you to listen. Really listen."
He gestures to the chair across from his desk, concern etching his features. "Of course. You can tell me anything."
You sit, hands clasped tightly in your lap. "I'm in love."
His face relaxes into a smile. "Is that all? Liebling, you had me worried. Who's the lucky—"
"It's Max." The words come out in a rush. "It's always been Max."
The silence that follows is deafening. You watch as confusion crosses his face, followed by understanding, and then something darker.
"Max… Verstappen?" He says the name like it tastes bitter. "This is a joke."
"No, it's not." You straighten your spine. "We've been together for two years. Actually, we never really stopped loving each other after… after what happened when we were eighteen."
Toto stands abruptly, running a hand through his hair. "This is impossible. You can't be serious."
"I am. And there's more." You take another deep breath. "We're moving in together. He bough a house for us, because he wants us to build a future together."
"No." His voice is sharp. "Absolutely not. I forbid it."
"I'm not asking for permission, Papa. I'm telling you."
He turns to face you, and the hurt in his eyes makes your heart ache. "How long have you been lying to me?"
"Since 2020," you admit quietly. "When I came back… we tried to stay away from each other. We really did. But we couldn't."
"So what, you've been sneaking around behind my back all these years?" His accent grows thicker with emotion. "Meeting in secret like teenagers?"
"We didn't have a choice."
He's quiet after that, and you can almost see the storm inside his head.
"Who knows?" The question is sharp, hurt evident in his tone.
"I told Susie last year. Lewis has known almost from the beginning. George found out in Bahrain. Some of the other drivers..."
"So everyone but me?" He laughs, but there's no humor in it. "My own wife, my drivers, half the paddock knew my daughter was in a relationship with Max Verstappen, and no one thought to tell me?"
"They were respecting our privacy. Our choice."
"Our choice?" He stands again, agitated. "He's Red Bull, YN! Our biggest rival! The same team that's been fighting us for years, the same driver who—"
"Who makes me happier than I've ever been," you interrupt. "Who loves me for who I am, not whose daughter I am. Who's supported my career, my dreams, everything I want to do."
"And the team rivalry? The competition?"
"We've managed it for years, Dad. We know how to separate personal and professional."
"All those times I tried to set you up with other people..."
"I know you meant well."
"And Susie?" His voice catches. "She knew and didn't tell me?"
"She said it wasn't her story to tell. That I needed to be the one to tell you when I was ready."
Toto runs a hand over his face. "And now you're ready because...?"
"Because I'm tired of hiding. Because Max and I have built something real and beautiful, and I want you to be part of it." You stand, moving around his desk to touch his arm. "Because you're my father, and despite everything, I want you to know me. All of me."
"And if I can't accept it?"
The question hangs heavy in the air. You feel tears threatening but force them back.
"Then that's your choice. But I won't give him up. Not again. Not for anyone."
Toto is quiet for a long moment, staring out at the factory below. When he finally speaks, his voice is tired. "You really love him?"
"More than anything."
He turns to look at you, really look at you, maybe for the first time seeing not his little girl but the woman you've become. "And he makes you happy?"
"Yes." Your voice is firm, certain.
Another long pause. "I need time."
It's not acceptance, but it's not rejection either. You nod, wiping away a stray tear. "Okay."
"Does he…" Toto clears his throat. "Does he treat you well?"
"Better than I deserve sometimes."
He makes a sound that might be a laugh or a sob. "No one could ever deserve better than you, Schatz."
You close the distance between you, wrapping your arms around him. After a moment, his arms come around you too, holding you like he did when you were small.
"I'm still angry," he murmurs into your hair.
"I know."
"And hurt."
"I know that too."
He pulls back, cupping your face in his hands. "But you are my daughter. My precious girl. Nothing will ever change that."
Fresh tears spill over. "Papa…"
"I can't promise to like this. Or him. But…" He sighs deeply. "I will try. For you."
It's more than you dared hope for. "Thank you."
As you leave his office later, you know this isn't the end of it. There will be more conversations, more tensions to navigate. But for the first time in years, you feel truly free.
The Monaco sunset paints the dining room in warm hues as you clear the plates from dinner, the conversation flowing as easily as the wine. Lewis lounges in his chair, gesturing with his glass as he speaks.
"Still can't believe Toto didn't notice for two years, honestly," he chuckles. "I mean, you two weren't exactly subtle at the Saudi GP last year."
Max groans. "That was YN's fault. She's the one who kissed me in the paddock."
"After you won! Away from everyone," you defend yourself from across the table. "Besides, Papa was too busy arguing with Christian to notice."
"Lucky for us," Max mutters, but he's smiling.
"How is he taking it now?" Lewis asks, his expression growing serious. "It's been what, two weeks?"
You exchange a look with Max. "Better, I think. He's… processing."
"He called me yesterday," Max adds quietly. "First time ever."
Both you and Lewis straighten up. "What? You didn't tell me that!" you exclaim.
Max shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant but you can see the tension in his shoulders. "It was brief. He just said that if I ever hurt you, they'll never find my body."
Lewis nearly chokes on his wine. "Classic Toto."
"I'll get the dessert," you announce, standing. "And Max, we're talking about that phone call later."
As you head to the kitchen, you can hear their voices carrying through the open-plan space.
"Seriously though," Lewis' voice drops lower, but not low enough. "You need to be prepared. Toto might try to…"
"Separate us again?" Max's voice is steel wrapped in silk. "I'd like to see him try."
"I'm just saying, be ready. He did it once before."
"We were kids then. It's different now." A pause. "I'm different now."
"I know you are, mate. That's why I helped with the house. But Toto… he can be protective."
"Lewis." Max's voice is deadly serious now. "I would rather end my career tomorrow than lose her again. She's… she's everything."
You freeze in the doorway of the kitchen, tiramisu forgotten in your hands.
"I know what it did to her last time," Max continues, unaware of your presence. "What it did to both of us. But I'm not that scared teenager anymore, and she's not that girl who was afraid to stand up to her father. We fought too hard to get here."
"Good." Lewis' voice is warm with approval. "Because if you hurt her, Toto won't have to hide your body. I'll do it myself."
Max laughs. "Get in line. Susie already called dibs."
"Speaking of Susie, how's she handling being in the middle?"
"Better than any of us deserve," Max sighs. "She's been amazing. Especially with YN. When Toto first found out…"
"That bad?"
"YN cried for hours after telling him. I've never felt so helpless." Max's voice cracks slightly. "All I could do was hold her."
"Sometimes that's enough," Lewis says softly. "Sometimes that's everything."
You wipe away a tear you hadn't realized had fallen. The tiramisu trembles slightly in your hands.
"I'm going to marry her someday," Max says suddenly. "I already have the ring."
The tiramisu nearly slips from your grasp.
"Does she know?" Lewis asks.
"Not yet. I wanted to wait until things settled with Toto. She deserves a proper proposal, not one overshadowed by family drama."
"Smart man." Lewis pauses. "You really have grown up, haven't you?"
"Had to. She deserves the best version of me."
You can't take it anymore. You walk back in, pretending you haven't heard a word. "Who wants dessert?"
Both men straighten up, but you catch the knowing look Lewis gives Max. As you serve the tiramisu, Max's hand finds yours, squeezing gently.
"Everything okay, liefje?" he asks softly.
You look at him - this man who's grown and changed and loved you through everything - and feel your heart swell. "Perfect," you whisper, and mean it.
Lewis watches you both with a soft smile. "You know," he says, "I think Toto will come around eventually. He may be stubborn, but he's not blind. Anyone can see what you two have is real."
"Real enough to redecorate my gaming room?" Max asks hopefully.
You laugh, the emotional moment breaking. "Nice try. But Lando's RGB setup stays."
"It gives me a headache!"
"Should have thought of that before letting him design it," Lewis points out.
As they fall into friendly bickering about proper gaming room aesthetics, you sit back and take it all in - this beautiful home, these people you love, this life you've built. It hasn't been easy, but everything has been worth it.
Your phone rings just as you're finishing up some work in your home office. Seeing your father's name on the screen makes your heart skip.
"Papa?"
"Schatz." His voice is carefully neutral. "Are you free tonight?"
"I… yes?"
"Good. You and Max will come to dinner. Eight o'clock."
It's not a question. You glance at the clock - it's already 4 PM. "Tonight?"
"Unless you have other plans?"
"No, no plans." You swallow hard. "We'll be there."
"Good." A pause. "And YN?"
"Yes?"
"Tell Max to breathe. It's just dinner."
The line goes dead before you can respond. You sit there for a moment, phone still in hand, before rushing downstairs to find Max.
He's in the gym, finishing up his workout. One look at your face and he's pulling off his headphones.
"What's wrong?"
"Papa called. He wants us for dinner. Tonight."
Max freezes mid-stretch. "Tonight? As in… tonight tonight?"
"Eight o'clock."
"Fuck." He starts pacing. "Fuck fuck fuck. This is it. He's going to murder me. He's probably got a plan to make it look like an accident. Lewis will help him hide the body—"
"Max."
"—probably already has an alibi arranged. Susie will vouch for him, of course—"
"Max!"
He stops pacing. "What?"
"He actually said to tell you to breathe. His exact words were 'it's just dinner.'"
Max stares at you. "That's worse. That's so much worse. He's lulling me into a false sense of security."
You can't help but laugh, even as anxiety churns in your own stomach. "You're being ridiculous."
"Am I?" He runs a hand through his sweaty hair. "The last time I was in the same room as your father, he looked at me like he was calculating how many pieces he could cut me into."
"That was three weeks ago, right after he found out. Things are… better now."
"Are they? Because that phone call he made last week about hiding my body didn't feel like 'better.'"
You cross the room to him, placing your hands on his chest. "Hey. Look at me."
His eyes meet yours, and you can see the genuine worry there.
"Whatever happens tonight, we face it together. Okay?"
He takes a deep breath, covering your hands with his. "Okay."
"Good. Now go shower, because you stink."
"Charming," he mutters, but he's smiling now. "What should I wear?"
"Something bulletproof?" you suggest innocently.
"Not helping!"
The drive to your parents' house is tense. Susie opens the door, her warm smile immediately putting you both at ease. "Come in, come in. Toto's just opening the wine."
"We brought some too," you say, holding up the bottle you'd carefully selected.
"Ah, his favorite." Susie winks. "Good choice."
The dining room is set beautifully, candles flickering on the table. Your father stands as you enter, and for a moment, everyone freezes.
Then Toto steps forward, kissing your cheek. "You look beautiful, Schatz."
He turns to Max, who looks like he's trying very hard not to bolt. They regard each other for a long moment before Toto extends his hand.
Max shakes it, and you breathe again.
Dinner starts surprisingly well. The conversation stays safe - racing, weather, Susie's latest projects. Max gradually relaxes enough to actually eat, though you notice he keeps looking at your father like he's expecting an ambush.
It comes after the plates are cleared.
"So," Toto says, setting down his wine glass. "We need to talk."
Max's hand finds yours under the table.
"Max." Your father's voice is measured. "I need you to listen carefully to what I'm about to say."
"Yes, sir."
"When YN was born, I made a promise to protect her from anything that could hurt her. When she was eighteen, I thought I was doing that by keeping her away from you."
You feel Max tense beside you.
"I was wrong."
The admission hangs in the air. Even Susie looks surprised.
"You were angry then. Volatile. Too much like your father." Toto continues. "But you've grown. Changed. I see that now."
He leans forward, eyes intense. "But understand this: that girl sitting next to you? She is my world. My greatest joy, my greatest pride. And if you ever - ever - give me reason to think you don't deserve her…"
"I don't," Max interrupts quietly. "Deserve her, I mean. I know that. I try every day to be worthy of her love, and I'll keep trying for the rest of my life."
Something shifts in Toto's expression.
"And you," he turns to you. "My strong, stubborn daughter. You've grown too. Standing up to me… it showed me you're not my little girl anymore. You're a woman who knows her own mind, her own heart."
Tears prick at your eyes. "Papa…"
"I trust your judgment," he says softly. "Even when it differs from mine."
Susie reaches over to squeeze his hand, pride shining in her eyes.
"Now," Toto straightens, his expression growing serious again. "We need to discuss the media situation. Your relationship will be public knowledge soon, if it isn't already."
"We've been careful," you start, but he holds up a hand.
"Careful isn't enough. The press will be relentless. They'll try to create drama, stir up controversy. Everything you do, every interaction, will be scrutinized."
"We know," Max says. "We've talked about it."
"Good. But you need to be prepared. They'll drag up the past, try to create tension between the teams. Your relationship will become clickbait."
"We can handle it," you say firmly.
"Perhaps. But you'll need support." Toto looks between you both. "Which is why… which is why I'm offering mine."
Max's grip on your hand tightens.
"When the story breaks, there will be questions. Speculation. I will make it clear that you have my blessing." The words seem to cost him something, but his voice is steady. "It won't stop the circus, but it might help control the narrative."
You're crying openly now. Max looks shellshocked.
"Thank you," he manages finally. "That… that means everything."
Toto nods once, then reaches for his wine. "Now, who wants dessert? Susie made Sachertorte."
As Susie bustles off to the kitchen, you catch your father's eye. The love there, the acceptance, makes your heart full.
Max leans over to whisper in your ear. "I think I just aged ten years."
You squeeze his hand. "Worth it?"
He looks at you, then at your father who's pretending not to watch you both, then back to you.
"Every second," he says, and kisses your temple.
And just like that, your worlds align.
Saint-Tropez, 2024
The morning sun filters through the sheer curtains of your villa, casting warm patterns across the rumpled sheets. Max's fingers trace lazy circles on your bare shoulder as you lie there, both reluctant to acknowledge that real life awaits.
"Do we have to go back?" you mumble into his chest.
"Mmm, eventually." He drops a kiss on your head. "Though I could get used to this."
"What, me using you as a human pillow?"
"You do that at home too, liefje."
You prop yourself up on an elbow to look at him, taking in the relaxed set of his features, the way his hair is sticking up wildly. "True, but here you're not constantly checking the time for sim racing with Lando."
"That was one time!"
"It was three times last week alone."
He tugs you back down, rolling so you're trapped beneath him. "You're just jealous because I'm better at it than you."
"Excuse me?" You poke his ribs. "Who won last time?"
"You cheated!"
"Did not!"
"You distracted me!"
"Not my fault you can't focus when I kiss your neck."
His eyes darken. "Want to test that theory?"
"We'll be late for our flight," you warn, but you're already tilting your head as his lips find that spot behind your ear.
"Worth it," he murmurs against your skin.
Later, tangled in sheets again, you check your phone while Max dozes beside you. A frown crosses your face.
"That's weird."
"Hmm?" Max doesn't open his eyes.
"Lewis still hasn't answered my texts from yesterday. Or the day before."
You feel him tense slightly. "Maybe he's busy."
"During holidays? And he always answers eventually." You sit up, noticing how Max suddenly seems very interested in the ceiling. "Max…"
"What?"
"You know something."
"I don't."
"You're doing that thing with your jaw."
His hand flies to his face. "What thing?"
"That clenching thing you do when you're hiding something." You narrow your eyes. "Spill it."
"There's nothing to spill." He sits up too quickly. "We should start packing."
"Max Emilian Verstappen."
"YN Wolff," he mimics, but there's an edge of nervousness to his teasing.
"Is Lewis okay?"
"He's fine! Totally fine. Completely fine. Never been better."
You stare at him. "You are the worst liar ever."
"I'm not—" He cuts himself off with a groan. "I can't tell you."
"Can't or won't?"
"Both?" He runs a hand through his hair. "Look, it's nothing bad. Just… something that's not public yet."
Your stomach drops. "Is he sick?"
"What? No! No, nothing like that." He catches your hands. "I promise, he's okay. It's just… complicated."
"Complicated how?"
"The kind of complicated I really can't tell you about yet." His eyes are pleading. "Please don't ask me to. I promised."
You study his face, seeing the genuine conflict there. "But he's okay?"
"Yes."
"And it's not bad news?"
He hesitates. "That… depends on how you look at it."
"Max!"
"I've already said too much." He kisses your forehead. "You'll know soon enough."
You flop back onto the pillows with a huff. "I hate secrets."
"Says the woman who kept our relationship secret for two years."
"That was different!"
"Sure it was." He stretches out beside you, pulling you close. "Can we go back to the part where we were enjoying our last morning in paradise?"
You want to protest, to push for more information, but his hand is sliding up your thigh and his lips are at your neck again and suddenly Lewis' mysterious silence seems less important.
"Fine," you concede, already breathless. "But this isn't over."
"Never is with you," he murmurs fondly. "It's why I love you."
"Because I'm stubborn?"
"Because you never give up on the people you care about."
Something in his voice makes you pause. "Max…"
"Let me love you," he whispers. "Just for now, let that be enough."
The world and its complications can wait. For now, there's just this - the sun on your skin, Max's heartbeat under your palm, and the knowledge that whatever comes next, you'll face it together.
Even if he is terrible at keeping secrets.
The gentle hum of your computer fills your office at Mercedes HQ as you review the latest F1 Academy reports. A notification pops up on your phone - Instagram, probably another post from Max complaining about his training session.
Your coffee cup freezes halfway to your mouth.
BREAKING: Lewis Hamilton to join Ferrari in 2025
The cup clatters onto your desk, coffee spilling across papers you can't bring yourself to care about. Your hands shake as you scroll through post after post confirming it.
Lewis is leaving.
Lewis is going to Ferrari.
Lewis didn't tell you.
Max knew and didn't tell you.
Your father…
You're on your feet before you realize it, striding through the corridors. People step out of your way, perhaps recognizing the storm in your expression. You barely register Susie calling your name as you pass her office.
The door to your father's office bangs open. He looks up, unsurprised.
"What is going on?" Your voice trembles.
"YN—"
"No." You hold up your phone, the Ferrari announcement glaring at you. "What is this?"
Toto sighs, removing his glasses. "Come in and close the door."
"You knew." It's not a question. "You all knew. That's why Lewis wasn't answering my messages. That's why Max was acting strange in Saint-Tropez."
"We couldn't tell you."
"Couldn't or wouldn't?" The words come out sharp, hurt. "I'm not just your daughter anymore, Papa. I'm co-director of F1 Academy. I work here. This affects me professionally as well as personally."
"Which is exactly why we couldn't tell you." He stands, coming around his desk. "The announcement had to be handled carefully. Any leak could have—"
"Leak?" You step back when he reaches for you. "Is that what I am to you? A potential leak?"
"Schatz, no—"
"Lewis is family!" Your voice cracks. "He's been here my entire life. He watched me grow up. He helped Max and me when…" You swallow hard. "I had to find out from Instagram. Instagram, Papa!"
"I know."
"Did everyone know except me? Was there some big meeting where you all decided poor YN can't be trusted?"
"It wasn't like that."
"Then what was it like?" Tears spill over. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like nobody trusted me enough to tell me that one of the most important people in my life is leaving."
Toto moves forward again, and this time you let him pull you into a hug. "Lewis wanted to tell you himself," he says softly. "He was going to come see you today, after the announcement. He didn't want you to have to carry the secret."
"I could have handled it."
"I know you could have." His hand smooths over your hair like when you were small. "But he didn't want to put you in that position. Neither did Max."
You stiffen. "Max knew for how long?"
"YN…"
"How long?"
"Since before New Year's."
The betrayal hits fresh. "That's why he was so weird about Lewis not texting back. He let me worry instead of just telling me."
"He was protecting you."
"I don't need protection!" You pull away. "I need honesty. I need the people I love to trust me. I need—" Your voice breaks. "I need to not feel like an outsider in my own family."
"Oh, Schatz." Toto's face crumples. "You have never been an outsider. Lewis insisted on keeping it quiet precisely because he cares so much. He knew how hard it would be for you."
"It's harder finding out like this."
A soft knock interrupts. You turn to see Lewis in the doorway, still in his Mercedes gear - for one of the last times, you realize with a pang.
"Little Wolff," he starts, but you hold up a hand.
"Don't." You brush past him, ignoring his attempt to catch your arm. "I have work to do."
"Please—"
"Congratulations on Ferrari," you say stiffly, not looking back. "I'm sure you'll do great things there."
You make it back to your office before the tears really start. Your phone buzzes - Max calling. Then Lewis. Then Susie.
You silence it, staring out your window at the Mercedes logo shining in the winter sun. It looks different now, knowing Lewis won't be racing under it anymore soon.
Everything looks different.
Your phone lights up again - a text from Max.
"I'm sorry. I hated keeping this from you. I love you"
You turn the phone face down.
Later. You'll deal with all of it later.
By the time you make it home that evening, your eyes are red and puffy from crying. Max is already there - of course he is - waiting in the kitchen with that worried look you've come to know so well.
"Baby…" he starts, but you brush past him, dropping your bag on the counter with trembling hands.
"Don't." Your voice cracks. "Just… don't."
But Max has never been good at leaving you alone when you're hurting. His arms wrap around you from behind, and despite your anger, you find yourself leaning back into his warmth.
"I wanted to tell you," he whispers against your hair. "Every day, I wanted to tell you."
The dam breaks. You turn in his arms, burying your face in his chest as sobs wrack your body. His arms tighten around you, one hand cradling the back of your head while the other rubs soothing circles on your back.
"He's leaving," you choke out. "Lewis is actually leaving. How can he leave? He's… he's my brother, Max. He's been there my whole life. The garage won't be the same without him. The team won't be the same."
"I know, baby. I know."
"He didn't tell me. None of you told me." You pull back enough to look up at him, tears still streaming. "You all just decided I couldn't handle it."
Max wipes your tears with his thumbs, his own eyes suspiciously bright. "Lewis wanted to protect you. We all did. You've been working so hard with F1 Academy, with the team… he didn't want you carrying this weight."
"But I could have handled it! I'm not some fragile thing that needs protecting anymore."
"No," Max agrees softly, "you're the strongest person I know. But Lewis loves you like a sister. He wanted to tell you himself, properly. Not through some leaked rumor or whispered secret."
You collapse against him again, letting out a shuddering breath. "I can't imagine Mercedes without him. Every memory I have there, he's part of it. Even when we were hiding us, he was there, watching out for us, covering for us…"
Max leads you to the couch, pulling you into his lap. You curl into him, feeling drained.
"Talk to him," he murmurs. "Not today, not tomorrow if you're not ready. But don't let this distance grow. You'll regret it."
"When did you get so wise?" you ask weakly.
"Around the same time I realized that sometimes loving someone means letting them be angry at you for trying to protect them." He presses a kiss to your temple. "Even if you'd do it again."
You stay like that for a long time, wrapped in Max's arms as the sun sets outside. Your phone buzzes occasionally - more messages from Lewis, probably - but you ignore it. Tomorrow you'll deal with it all. Tomorrow you'll be strong again.
But tonight, you let yourself be held and comforted, mourning the end of an era while knowing, deep down, that family is family - even when they're wearing red instead of silver.
Bahrain, 2024
The Bahrain paddock buzzes with its usual first-race energy, but everything feels off-kilter. You've been masterfully avoiding proper conversations with Lewis all weekend, keeping interactions professional and brief. The pit wall feels different already, knowing it's his last season here.
You're reviewing data sheets in the garage when his shadow falls across your tablet.
"Little Wolff," Lewis says softly, using the nickname that usually makes you smile but now just makes your chest ache. "Can we talk?"
"I'm quite busy," you reply, not looking up. "Qualifying strategy needs finalizing."
"YN." His voice is gentle but firm. "Please."
You finally meet his eyes, seeing the concern there, the sadness. He looks older somehow, or maybe that's just your perception shifting with everything else.
"What's left to say?" You keep your voice low, mindful of the mechanics nearby. "You made your decision. You kept it from me. We move forward."
"That's not fair and you know it." Lewis steps closer. "I've tried calling, texting…"
"I've been busy."
"You've been avoiding me." He sighs. "I never wanted to hurt you."
"Well, you did." The words come out sharper than intended. "Did you think finding out from social media wouldn't hurt? That watching Max and Papa dance around it for weeks wouldn't hurt?"
"I wanted to protect you—"
"Stop saying that!" You catch yourself, lowering your voice again. "Everyone keeps saying they were protecting me. I'm not a child anymore, Lewis. I run part of this team. I handle confidential information every day. I've kept secrets bigger than this."
Understanding crosses his face. "Like Max."
"Yes, like Max." You swallow hard. "You trusted me then. You helped us. Why couldn't you trust me with this?"
"Because this wasn't just my secret to keep." Lewis runs a hand over his face. "There were contracts, negotiations, timing issues. And yes, I wanted to tell you myself, properly. Not have you carry it around for weeks knowing you couldn't talk to anyone about it."
"So instead you let me worry when you weren't responding to messages? Let me think something was wrong? Let Max lie to me?"
"I asked him not to tell you." Lewis reaches for your hand but you pull back. "He wanted to. He hated keeping it from you."
"But he did anyway."
"Because he understands sometimes protecting the people we love means letting them be angry with us." Lewis's voice softens. "You're my family, YN. You're the little sister I never had. Leaving Mercedes… leaving you… it's one of the hardest decisions I've ever made."
You blink back tears, refusing to cry in the garage. "Then why are you?"
"Because sometimes we need to chase new dreams, even when it means leaving safe harbors." He smiles sadly. "You taught me that, actually. When you chose Max despite everything, despite what it could cost you. You taught me that sometimes the scariest choices are the right ones."
"That's different."
"Is it?" Lewis raises an eyebrow. "You took a risk for love. For growth. For what you believed was right for you, even knowing it would hurt people you care about."
You look away, his words hitting too close to home.
"I'm not asking you not to be hurt," he continues. "I'm just asking you not to let that hurt break us. I'm still your Lewis. That doesn't change just because I'm wearing red."
"It feels like everything's changing," you whisper.
"Some things never will." He opens his arms. "Come here, Little Wolff."
This time you don't resist, letting him pull you into a hug. The familiar smell of his cologne brings fresh tears to your eyes.
"I'm still mad at you," you mumble into his chest.
"I know."
"And you better not beat us too badly in that Ferrari."
You feel his laugh rumble. "I'll do my best."
"Lewis?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm going to miss you so much."
His arms tighten. "I'm not gone yet. We've got a whole season ahead of us. And after… I'm still your big brother. That doesn't change with the color of my race suit."
Over his shoulder, you catch Max watching from the Red Bull garage, a soft smile on his face. He gives you a small nod before turning back to his engineers.
Some things change. Some things stay the same. And sometimes, you realize, holding onto anger hurts more than letting it go.
Miami, 2024
The sun beats down mercilessly as you pace your hotel room, phone clutched in your hand. The notifications won't stop - Instagram, Twitter, all exploding with the same photos. You and Max on his boat in Monaco last weekend, his hands cupping your face as he kissed you, both of you clearly lost in each other.
You'd been so careful for so long. One moment of letting your guard down, and now…
The door opens and Max rushes in, still in his Red Bull gear from practice. "Baby?" His voice is soft with concern.
"Have you seen them?" You hold up your phone, hands trembling. "They're everywhere. Everyone knows. Papa is going to have to address it in the press conference and—"
Max crosses the room in three long strides, taking your face in his hands - just like in the photos, you realize with a jolt. "Breathe," he murmurs. "Just breathe with me."
"But—"
"Breathe first." His thumbs stroke your cheeks. "In through your nose, out through your mouth. With me."
You follow his lead, matching your breathing to his until the panic starts to recede. Only then does he lead you to sit on the edge of the bed, keeping one arm around you.
"Now," he says, "tell me what you're really afraid of."
"Everything!" You gesture wildly with your free hand. "The media circus, the speculation, the questions about favoritism in the sport, Papa having to defend us publicly, the board's reaction…"
"YN." Max turns you to face him fully. "We knew this would happen eventually. We talked about it."
"I know, but—"
"But nothing." His blue eyes are intense, earnest. "We're not doing anything wrong. We're two adults who love each other. Yes, there will be talk. Yes, there will be questions. But we can handle it." His lips quirk. "We've handled worse."
You lean into him, letting his steady presence ground you. "Papa's press conference is in twenty minutes."
"And he'll handle it like he handles everything - with that terrifying Wolff composure." Max's hand runs soothingly up and down your back. "He loves you, baby. He's not going to let anyone suggest anything improper about us."
"I should be there," you whisper. "I should face it with him."
"No." Max's voice is firm. "Let him handle this part. That's what fathers do - they protect their children, even when their children are grown up and running F1 programs."
Your phone buzzes again - another news alert. Max gently takes it from your hand and sets it aside.
"Remember what you told me?" he asks softly. "That night in Monaco when I was worried about how people would react to us being together again?"
You smile slightly. "I told you that what other people think doesn't matter."
"Exactly." He presses his forehead to yours. "You said that we've earned the right to be happy, that we're not teenagers anymore trying to sneak around. You said we're stronger together than apart."
"Using my own words against me?"
"Always." He kisses you softly. "Because you were right then, and you're still right now. Let them talk. Let them speculate. We know the truth."
Your phone lights up with a livestream notification - the press conference is starting. Max reaches for the remote, turning on the hotel room's TV where it's already being broadcast.
"We can turn it off," he offers, but you shake your head.
"No. I need to see."
You curl into Max's side as the questions start. Your father sits there, calm and collected as ever, fielding questions about strategy and performance. Then:
"Toto, there are photos circulating of your daughter YN with Max Verstappen. Given the rivalry between Mercedes and Red Bull, and Max's history with both Mercedes and your family, do you have any comment?"
The room goes silent. You hold your breath, feeling Max tense beside you.
Your father adjusts his glasses, that familiar gesture that usually precedes something important. "Yes, I do have a comment." His voice is measured but firm. "My daughter is a highly respected professional in this sport, running our F1 Academy program and working tirelessly to create opportunities for young women in motorsport. Her personal life is her own, and she has my full support in all her choices."
"But given the competitive nature of F1—"
"Let me be very clear," Toto interrupts, and you recognize that steel in his voice. "YN has proven herself time and time again. She has earned her position through hard work and dedication. Max Verstappen is one of the most talented drivers of his generation. They are both adults who conduct themselves with integrity and professionalism. Any suggestion otherwise is not only disrespectful but reveals more about the person asking than about them."
Tears blur your vision. Max's arm tightens around you.
"See?" he whispers. "Terrifying Wolff composure."
On screen, your father continues: "My daughter and Max have my blessing and my respect. They have shown wisdom and maturity in handling their relationship alongside their professional responsibilities. Now, unless there are questions about this weekend's race…"
You bury your face in Max's chest, overwhelmed. His hands stroke your hair as he murmurs soft Dutch endearments.
"He defended us," you say wonderingly. "He really defended us."
"Of course he did." Max kisses the top of your head. "He's your father. And…" he hesitates, "I think maybe he's starting to like, a little bit."
You look up at him, seeing the vulnerability in his eyes. "You know he likes you."
"Yeah." Max smiles softly. "He called me yesterday, you know. Said if any reporters gave me trouble about the photos, to refer them to him. Said he'd handle it."
Fresh tears spill over. "He did?"
"Mmhmm." Max wipes your tears with his thumb."Does this mean I can finally kiss you in the paddock?"
You laugh through your tears. "Maybe let's ease them into it?"
"Fine." He sighs dramatically. "But I'm holding your hand in public. No negotiation on that."
"Deal." You curl back into him, feeling the panic from earlier dissolve into something warmer, more certain. "Thank you for being here. For being you."
"Always, baby." Max kisses you again, soft and sweet. "Now, what do you say we give them something else to talk about and go absolutely dominate this race weekend?"
You smile against his lips. "Now that sounds like a plan."
Las Vegas, 2024
The neon lights blur through your tears as you watch the podium ceremony. George and Lewis stand there together, silver suits gleaming under the artificial lights, Mercedes' last 1-2 with this particular lineup.
Your heart feels like it might burst - pride, joy, and melancholy all tangled together. Max clinched his fourth title today, and you couldn't be prouder.
"Look at them," Susie whispers, squeezing your hand. "Our boys."
You can barely speak around the lump in your throat. George looks radiant, his second win of the season perhaps the sweetest. And Lewis… Lewis is beaming with genuine joy for his teammate, even as his eyes glisten with unshed tears. His last podium in Vegas as a Mercedes driver.
Your father stands tall beside you, his usual stoic expression softened by emotion. As the champagne starts flowing, you catch sight of Max making his way toward the Red Bull garage, where you know the championship celebrations are about to begin.
"Go," your father says suddenly.
You turn to him, surprised. "What?"
"Go celebrate with Max." His voice is gentle. "It's his fourth championship. You should be there."
"But…" you glance at the podium, at your Mercedes family celebrating.
"We've shared every celebration with you," Susie says softly. "Let him have this one."
"Are you sure?" You look at your father. "Papa?"
Toto's eyes are warm as he cups your face in his hands. "For three years, you couldn't celebrate with him. Couldn't share his victories. Couldn't be by his side when he achieved his dreams." He kisses your forehead. "Go make up for lost time, Schatz."
"But Lewis and George…"
"Will understand." Toto smiles. "Besides, I think Lewis would be disappointed if you didn't go congratulate your boyfriend on his championship."
As if on cue, Lewis catches your eye from the podium and nods toward the Red Bull garage, mouthing "Go!"
Tears spill over as you hug your parents. "I love you both so much."
"We know," Susie strokes your hair. "Now go. Make your man's celebration complete."
You run through the paddock, your heart pounding. The Red Bull garage is already in full celebration mode when you arrive. Christian sees you first, and instead of any awkwardness, he just smiles and points toward the back room.
You find Max there, surrounded by his team but somehow looking like he's waiting for something - or someone. When he sees you, his entire face lights up.
"Baby," he breathes, and then you're in his arms, his race suit damp with champagne, his heart beating fast against yours.
"Congratulations, four-time world champion," you whisper against his neck.
He pulls back just enough to look at you, his eyes shining. "You came."
"Of course I came." You touch his face, memorizing this moment. "Papa and Susie practically pushed me out the door."
Max's eyes widen slightly. "Really?"
"Really." You smile through your tears. "Papa said we had three years of celebrations to make up for."
Something vulnerable crosses Max's face. "I used to dream about this," he admits quietly, despite the noise around you. "Every championship, every win… I'd imagine you here, celebrating with me. But I never thought…"
"That my father would be the one sending me to you?"
"Yeah." Max laughs softly. "Things really have changed, haven't they?"
"For the better." You kiss him softly, not caring who sees. "I'm so proud of you, Max. So incredibly proud."
He presses his forehead to yours. "Stay? Celebrate with us?"
"Wild horses couldn't drag me away."
"Good." His smile turns mischievous. "Because I have three years of championship celebrations to make up for, and I plan to make this one count."
From somewhere behind you, you hear Jos' voice: "Max! The championship photo!"
"Coming!" Max calls back, then looks at you. "Join us?"
You blink. "In the Red Bull championship photo?"
"Why not?" His eyes are bright with joy and love. "You're part of this story too. Always have been."
The photographer arranges everyone, and Max pulls you close to his side. Here, under the neon lights of Vegas, surrounded by celebrations both here and in the garage next door, you feel the weight of the moment. The past - three years of separation, of watching from afar. The present - standing proudly by his side as he achieves another dream. And the future - stretching out before you both, full of possibilities.
"Ready?" Max whispers in your ear.
You look up at him, this man who never stopped loving you even when the world tried to keep you apart, and smile. "Ready."
The camera flashes, capturing the moment forever - the four-time world champion and the girl who crossed rival lines to love him, surrounded by celebration and joy, making up for all the moments they missed and creating new ones all their own.
In the distance, you hear the Mercedes celebration continuing, George and Lewis' laughter carrying through the night. Two families, two celebrations, and you finally allowed to be part of both.
Melbourne, 2025
"YN, we need to check something at the track," Max says casually as you're getting ready for bed.
"At this hour? It's past midnight."
"Trust me?" He gives you that same boyish grin that still makes your heart skip, even after a decade.
You're both jet-lagged anyway, so you agree. But instead of heading to Albert Park, Max drives to a familiar hotel. Your breath catches when you realize where you are.
"Max…"
"Come on," he takes your hand, leading you through the quiet lobby to the coffee shop where it all began. The lights are dimmed, but it's clearly open - though completely empty.
"How did you…?"
"Being a four-time world champion has some perks," he grins. "Plus, the owner remembered us. Said she never forgot the night the youngest F1 driver and Toto Wolff's daughter had their secret meeting here."
The same table is there, the one where you shared your hot chocolate ten years ago. There's even a steaming mug waiting.
"You were so smug," Max laughs, pulling out your chair. "Letting me ramble about being a driver when you knew exactly who I was."
"You were cute when you were flustered," you tease. "Especially when I dropped my last name."
"I couldn't believe it. Here I was, trying to impress this beautiful girl, and she turned out to be my biggest rival's daughter."
You take a sip from the mug - hot chocolate, just like that night. "Papa wouldn't stop talking about you."
"And now he's my biggest defender," Max shakes his head in wonder. "Remember how scared we were to tell him about us?"
"Worth it though," you squeeze his hand. "Every secret meeting, every careful distance in the paddock, every time we had to pretend we were just friendly acquaintances."
Max's eyes go soft. "You know what I remember most about that first night? You were the first person who didn't treat me like I was either Jos's son or some record-breaking novelty. You just… saw me."
"I still do," you whisper.
He stands suddenly, pulling you up with him. "That night, I was terrified about my first race. Everyone had opinions about whether I deserved to be here. But then there was this girl, sharing her hot chocolate and making me feel like maybe I could actually do this."
"Max…"
He drops to one knee, and your heart stops. "Ten years ago, in this exact spot, I met the love of my life. I didn't know it then, but that girl who kept her name secret until the last possible moment would become my biggest supporter, my best friend, my home."
Through your tears, you see him pull out a ring. "You've been there through everything, YN. Every victory, every defeat. When the pressure got too much, when the critics were too loud - you were my safe place. Just like you were that first night."
"Remember what you told me then? That your intuition said I'd do great?" He laughs softly. "You believed in me before anyone else did. And I want to spend the rest of my life believing in you, supporting you, loving you."
"YN Wolff," his voice cracks slightly. "Will you marry me? Will you keep being my safe place, my biggest supporter, my best friend? Will you let me spend forever trying to make you as happy as you've made me?"
Through your tears, you see the same boy from that late-night coffee shop - still determined, still passionate, still looking at you like you're his whole world. But now he's also the man who's grown with you, fought for you, loved you through everything.
"Yes," you manage, pulling him up to kiss him. "Yes to everything."
As he slides the ring onto your finger, Max pulls you close, and you can smell the same coffee shop scent that surrounded you ten years ago. "Thank you for sharing your hot chocolate that night," he murmurs against your hair.
"Thank you for making me believe in intuition," you reply, feeling the weight of the ring - a promise of all the years to come.
Outside, Melbourne sleeps, just like it did that first night. But now, instead of two strangers sharing a drink and their fears, there's you and Max, sharing a future.
And it feels like coming home.
tags: @mimiteller712 @lydia-demarek, @rory-cakes, @swaggymadi, @chriskevinevans @p7-otterton, @cherrystars81, @whokilledmarlene @lilymaleshka @kodeelynn @formoola1fan @pausmoon @lalala28 @baby-alien11 @allthings-fandoms @downsideup1989 @urbaebarnes @ivegotparticulartaste @liethatyouloveme @codymthepenguin @finn-dot-com @rayaskoalaland @angelluv16 @pourmercymercy0nme @tweetledeedumb @osclerc @scientifichufflepuff @cometpiastri @hobiismyhopeu @monsterdesandia @amyelevenn @damonsalvatorelikessex @rmvb @virtualperfectioncat @emma-chiara @chelle1306 @idontknow0704 @lilypat @elieanana @nothaqks @1800-love-me
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfiction#max verstappen#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen smau#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 fanfiction#f1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfiction#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 story#mv1 x reader#max verstappen angst#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fic#f1 grid x reader#f1 fic#max verstappen series
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WELCOME TO HERMIT-A-DAY MAY 2025!
Another year, another Hermit-a-Day May! I'm so thrilled to be able to bring this event to you all for the third year in a row.
THE RULES: 1. Any type of fanwork is welcome so long as it features, or is otherwise inspired by, the Hermit of the day. 2. Tag #hermitaday to have your fanwork reblogged, or submit it directly to the blog (Please note that while we recognize the value of fanworks involving more mature themes, and they can certainly count toward challenge completion if you're keeping track for yourself, content on this blog will be kept "PG-13" so that all may enjoy.). 3. Fanworks for one Hermit posted after the day rolls over to another Hermit's day (per the US Central time zone) will be reblogged in one big queue in June. 4. Traced or stolen work is NOT welcome. If we discover you have posted traced or stolen work, you will be given one chance to delete it and apologize, or you will be blacklisted from the blog. AI-generated/assisted pieces are similarly unwelcome and will not be featured on the blog. 5. We are not interested in seeing captions or tags in which you disparage your art/skills, and will not be reblogging posts where this happens. We're all improving all the time. Be kind to yourselves. 6. Technically not a rule, but we strongly recommend adding alt text or description to all images. Click here to learn more about writing alt text - it's pretty easy!
WHY SHOULD I PARTICIPATE? To show love to every Hermit, from the most to least subscribed, from those who have been on the server from day one to those who only joined this season! And because challenges are fun! And because we are once again out here for a good cause: we're running another fundraiser for Gamers Outreach, featuring art incentives by nine amazing artists. Learn more about our incentives in these posts:
MILESTONE REWARD POST
INDIVIDUAL REWARD POST
RAFFLE POST
WHO’S RUNNING THIS? Hi! My name is Luna! You can use ze/hir, she/her, he/him, or ro/ros/roseself pronouns for me. My main blog is @as-if-unreal. Helping me out this year is the incredible Mod Sky ( @skyspersonalhell ), who uses any pronouns!
BONUS DAY PROMPTS EXPLAINED UNDER THE CUT
FAVORITE "ALT" HERMIT - May 4th HoTGuY and Poultry-Man. Helsknight and Evil Xisuma. Renbob and - look, you get the idea. This server is full of theater kids ready to toss on an alternate skin and play into a brand new character at the drop of a hat. Who's your favorite?
OUTFIT SWAP - May 9th What would Doc look like in Cleo's Life Series leotard? How would Cub fare in Wels's armor? What laundry day mishap could lead Mumbo's suit to lose its sleeves like Skizz's? Only hilarity can come from this...
GROUPS AND COLLABS - May 14th This month is all about one Hermit a day... but what we really love is when they interact with each other. What does your favorite duo or group of Hermits get up to together?
FAVORITE BUILD - May 18th The Hermits have put thousands of hours into their builds, from cozy starter bases to the sprawling halls of Deepfrost Citadel, from idyllic natural landscapes to machines the size of mountains. Which builds have inspired you?
TFC - May 23rd While he may no longer be with us physically, TFC left behind him a legacy of quiet care and good humor, and Hermitcraft would not have been the same without him.
FRIENDS OF HERMITCRAFT - May 28th There are plenty of shows, podcasts, competitions, other servers, and more woven into the internet ecosystem around Hermitcraft, and plenty more people involved in them. Today is for celebrating all of those who, while they may not be Hermits themselves, exist and entertain in proximity to them.
#hermitcraft#hermitaday#reference post#impulsesv#grian#tangotek#falsesymmetry#mumbo jumbo#bdoubleo100#hypnotizd#geminitay#cubfan135#pearlescentmoon#smallishbeans#ijevin#goodtimeswithscar#rendog#zombiecleo#xbcrafted#xisumavoid#keralis#joe hills#vintagebeef#zedaph#welsknight#skizzleman#docm77#ethoslab
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˙ ✩°˖ ✈️ gravitational meet-cute / caleb x reader
synopsis; when you take your 2nd graders to skyhaven university for an activity aiming to teach them about space and gravity, you don't expect the faceless professor xia on the website to be a cute guy around your age, instead of an old man. as it turns out gravity isn't the only force that's irresistible around here, his charm is, too.
🍎 pomme's notes — caleb flirts with you in front of your class for nearly two thousand words basically :9
✴︎ 1.8k words / fluff / 2nd person & fem! reader — additional notes: reader is a 2nd grade teacher & has no evol, i gave the kids random names, caleb is a prodigy in the aerospace engineering field, reader & caleb are in their early thirties!
the kids in the school bus are buzzing excitedly when skyhaven university's towering buildings come into sight, and you can only helplessly ask them to remain tightly in their seat until the bus reaches its destination.
to be fair though, you can't exactly blame them. they're getting to go to the "big kids school", and they're gonna learn about space — something far too big for their little selves to understand yet. how cool is that!?
"noah, olivia and kai! sit down right now, or else all three of you are gonna stick by me the whole time we're there! everyone, this applies to you as well!"
with a resounding "yes miss!" the kids finally settle down and give you some time to gather your thoughts prior to getting off the bus. this was a big day for your kids, even though you were out of it.
just the week before, you were drinking yourself silly and lamenting your bachelorette life, and your best friend, tara (who just so happened to be the school secretary), had the incredible idea of signing your class up for an activity at skyhaven university to distract you.
"come on, it'll be fun! you love seeing the kids discover new things and get this — you won't even be the one teaching! just think of it as a break. besides, who knows, maybe professor xia is a hottie!"
"tara, the average age for aerospace engineers is like.. 70. professor xia's probably just a decrepit old man — his picture isn't even on the website! i bet you he's too old to even figure out how to upload it."
"you won't know unless you go, though! it doesn't matter anyways, your class is signed up already, so just have fun with it!"
so here you were, "having fun with it", otherwise known as watching over 30 overly excited children. thankfully, the driver pulls into the university's designated lot — though not without some squeals and giggles from the class. after disembarking and doing a headcount, you clear your throat in order to grab their attention.
"one, two, three! eyes on me!"
and in unison, all 30 students responded, "one, two! eyes on you!"
it was a cute call and response you'd learned from one of your mentors some years ago, and it got them attentive and ready to listen to your directions quickly — only this time, another sound cut through the silence, a whistle followed by a chuckle.
"woah! i'll have to use that on my own students, that sure was effective."
when you turn to face the voice, you're met with a handsome smile from an even more handsome man. a TA, maybe? before you can ask him who he is, the brunette seems to sense your confusion and beats you to the punch, introducing himself to you and your class with a dynamic expression.
"all right, kiddos, it's nice to meet all of you! i'm professor xia, but that makes me sound old, doesn't it? you can call me mr. caleb!"
there's no way tara was right. what happened to the decrepit old man you were envisioning? surely, there was a mistake. one of the little girls in your class quickly pulled you out of your thoughts, raising her hand and asking this.. too young of a professor a question.
"how come you teach at the big kids school? you're not even an old man! you're like miss teacher!"
right. 2nd graders' questions. you pinch the bridge of your nose, ready to apologize, but instead it seems like caleb finds it very humorous, throwing his head back and laughing before squatting down to your kids' eye level and explaining himself.
"yeah? i'm super smart, so i skipped a few grades and started teaching here after i retired as a pilot! how cool is that?"
a choir of ooh's and aah's emerged from the children, and caleb got up before pulling out his faculty card and handing it to you with a subtle wink.
"just so you know i'm the right guy."
judging from his ID, it looks like he wasn't lying — caleb xia, one of the professors in the aerospace engineering department of skyhaven university. you flash him a smile before introducing yourself. after caleb gives both you and your class a quick rundown of today's activity, you get the kids to line up in two rows and follow caleb like ducklings into an empty auditorium. trailing behind to make sure none of them got lost in the halls, you pull out your phone and send a quick "fuck he's hot i owe you a drink girl" text to tara.
the kids were in awe at how cool mr. caleb was, and you were in awe at how calm they were. you're a good teacher, and your kids love you, but that took a bit of work, due to how rowdy they were. caleb on the other hand? it came to him too naturally — to the point where you felt a pang of silly jealousy. you'd have to copy some of his mannerisms with the class.
however, admiring his prowess with the kids, quickly turned into something more. your eyes landed on his face, and his cute freckles and bright smile while he interacted with the children made your heart swoon. his purple eyes were so expressive, and you could almost get lost in them — and if you did? you'd rather not be found. lowering your gaze a bit, you end up admiring his well-built physique, until you could feel a tiny index finger poking your arm.
looking to your right, one of the three troublemakers on the bus, olivia, was grinning at you, with a mischievous expression on her face.
"miss.. do you think mr. caleb is handsome?" she whispered.
you almost choke on your spit, and you can't help the faint warmth on your face when you tell her to focus on what the brunette at the front is saying.
"pleaaaase, i promise i'll listen after this!!" she begs with a lip jutted out, and you can't resist those puppy eyes. damn 2nd graders.
"you — fine! i think he's handsome, now go back to listening!"
olivia beams and quickly turns to the front, but not before whispering about her newfound discovery to her two partners in crime, noah and kai. somehow, this didn't look too good for you right now.
sighing, you focus your own attention to caleb — only to be met with his eyes looking at you already. there's no way he heard, unless he has the greatest ears mankind has ever seen. right?
"miss teacher! would you mind help me demonstrating how gravity works for the kids?"
his tone is playful, and his expression inviting, so you find yourself getting up from your seat to join him on the small stage. presenting both of his hands to you, he winks again, and you can feel butterflies in your stomach. somehow you can't figure out if it's out of anticipation for the demonstration or if it's because caleb looks so cute right now.
"if you could hold both of my hands tightly, please. it's for science, no ulterior motives," and more quietly, only for you to hear, he adds, "or maybe just a tiny bit of ulterior motives."
ignoring the kids' gasps and squeals at their teacher holding hands with the good-looking professor, caleb begins to explain gravity in simple terms.
"you guys are anchored to the ground because of this thing called gravity. it's a super strong and invisible force that pulls things towards each other, and right now, the earth is pulling you towards its center!"
suddenly you feel your feet lift off the ground, and with a gasp, your grasp on caleb's hands tighten. you look into his eyes, and you're met with a smile.
"i have a super cool power though — a gravity evol. right now, i'm making it so that miss teacher is no longer affected by the earth's gravity. how cool is that!?"
you can only laugh at the 2nd graders' amazed reactions, varying from "my turn", "that's so cool", "i want a superpower too" and "miss teacher is blushing". he slowly lowers you back down, but once your feet touch the floor again, you stagger a bit, and he moves a hand to your waist to stabilize you with a soft chuckle and a "zero gravity does that to you sometimes." caleb walks you to your seat before turning to face the kids' expectant faces and speaking.
"if you all come to the front — without running! — and link your arms together, i'll make you all float for a bit too! go, go, go, captain caleb's airline is about to take flight!"
with excited yells, all the students hold onto each other tightly — and when caleb makes use of his evol to make them float around for a few minutes, their laughter is filling your ears, making you laugh along. when he lowers them back onto the ground, it's almost time to return to school, and so ensues the QnA section of the activity. after caleb answers a few questions related to space and gravity, kai looks at olivia and noah before raising his hand.
"mr. caleb! do you think miss teacher is pretty?"
noah doubles down, and with a cute yet failed attempt at whispering, he lets caleb know that "it's a secret, but miss teacher thinks you're handsome!"
so that was what olivia was up to. that's why she was whispering and exchanging knowing smiles with them. you're about to intervene and save the brunette from this awkward situation before he hums and places a hand underneath his chin, as if pondering the situation.
much to your surprise though, he squats down to the kids' level, before gesturing at all of them to come close, like he's about to reveal a secret too. with a voice loud enough for you specifically to hear, he gives the kids a wink.
"this is a secret between all of us, okay? i think she's the prettiest woman i've ever seen. and this is top top top secret, but i'm gonna ask her out on a date after this. don't tell her!"
he looks over his shoulder, meeting your gaze with a smile and you can see the tips of his ears turning a soft crimson hue. he laughs at your flustered expression and red cheeks — all while your 2nd graders squealed and shook with excitement.
and now, here you were — riding the bus again with all all 30 of your rowdy kids, but instead of solely smiling at the songs they sang on the way back to school, you were also smiling at caleb's new messages on your screen.
— hey sweets. are you gravity? — because i feel a force pulling me towards you :P — is saturday good for you? i'll pick you up at 7!
you really owed tara a drink after this. and you owed your class a pizza party.
🍎 pomme's final notes — i gave myself baby fever with this fic oh how i love the concept of caleb interacting with kids.. also this is just. caleb flirting and being playful. live laugh love loverboys. also if any 2nd graders feel poorly represented get off my damn blog
hey.. tagging those who were interested in this bad boy... love u guys….. — @abyssyby @codedove @30jades @shewrites247 @cantaloupewatch @vesearlee @iloveh4nge @philosians
#⋆ pomme writes#caleb#caleb x reader#caleb x you#lads x reader#lads caleb#lads#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace#⋆ neigepomme#shakes him around. infold give him a BREAK
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My advice as someone who has shifted many times
Got some really sweet comments on my last post, and I decided I should probably get myself over my fear of posting here. I just love everyone in this community, you're all family to me💚
First, and most importantly, coffee:

When I posted my introduction here, a couple of months ago, I felt like I was already quite an experienced shifter. 4 kids, the most amazing husband, a life outside of this reality longer than I lived within it.
Looking back on it now, more than 500 years later, 3 more kids, 4 grandchildren, I was almost like a baby still, and even at this moment in time, I feel like I'm only at the start of my journey.
However, for the people that know my tiktok account, I have shifted to a lot of places by now. Experienced immortality as a human, as a deity, I've seen different cultures practice shifting, and taught shifting to every single one of me and my husband's children.
My main purpose in coming back here, is to help others achieve what I finally managed after years of trying. I want you all to pursue your dreams, and find the infinite happiness you so deserve.
So here is some advice:
Shifting itself is extremely simple. You want something, you get it. The concept of the reality that we're in doesn't allow for instant 'manifestations', but that doesn't mean you can't do it. It just means that, this reality by itself, doesn't have the rule of ''you desire something = you get it.'' That's where humans came up with the term ''manifestation,'' but it's simple really; you persist in wanting something, so you shift somewhere you have it. How easy that is can depend on the person, but every single one is capable of doing it, it's not technically any more difficult.
There are realities out there where, ''you want something'' does equal ''you get it,'' the term manifestation wouldn't even exist in those places, it's just as natural as it is for you here to feel as though you struggle attracting your desires.
I do not want to be rude to anyone, but there is no key to shifting. Anyone claiming they have the method to shift, or know the key to it, is overcomplicating it. Shifting is shifting, you don't need anything for it. Just existing, being aware, that's all you need to shift. HOW you do it, depends on the person. Assumptions, methods, intention, they're all tools to help you, but they're not the key.
You can shift while showering, while taking a dump, you can jump in the air and yell ''Yippie!!!'' to shift if you would believe that it works. An actual method? A joke method? There's no difference between them. The only real difference? You assume one to work, and one to not do anything, and that's where our limited mindsets are created.
I've seen so many different groups by now. People that shifted through meditation, through rituals, a group that would quite literally dive into a lake that they saw as magic, but also people that simply just, decided they wanted it, and shifted seconds later. They were raised with those beliefs, so they work for them.
And you here? You're raised in a society that tells you that you have to work for what you want, that a dream life is impossible, nothing is for free. And then you wonder why you struggle with shifting, why it's so hard to believe that you can do something so incredibly simple. Your struggles are valid, it is not your fault.
As an awareness you're so much more than the 3d, you're so much more than the body or brain you're aware of. You're simply a guest in this body, until it expires or you choose yourself to move on, but that doesn't take away that while you're here, you have to deal with your experiences, memories, and taught mindsets from this place.
That's why, the biggest advice I can give you, is to listen to yourself. Not society, not other people, no one who tries to tell you that they know ''the way.'' If someone's method aligns with you, that is amazing, and definitely put it to practice. But don't force yourself to go through methods and practices that don't feel right for you. If you dread doing it, it's not for you. Find something fun, something that fits your routines and beliefs.
Remember that time has no meaning. 5 days, 5 months, it's not going to matter in 3000 years. Literally nothing can stop your existence, nothing that could happen to you in this reality can ever stop you from existing.
There is no pressure, eternity is waiting for you, be kind to yourself. You are exactly where you're meant to be. It doesn't matter how you shift, so don't make it a chore. Script, create scenarios, daydream, make up your own rituals or find the most fun ways to set intention. You don't need hour long methods of counting, starfish positions and difficult affirmations. Your desires are already heard, your subconscious already knows where you want to go, so enjoy the ride until you get there💚
#reality shifting#shifting#shiftblr#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting motivation#shifting realities#shifting methods#shifting stories
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What if there's already nothing left to save? There's microplastics in the clouds and soil and our blood and brains. Climate disasters and warming are happening faster than scientists thought it would and all the governments in the whole world are just protecting the corporations and billionaires that are causing this. We're not safe, too much irriversable damage has been done already and its getting worse even more and I'm so scared. We could hit so many tipping points that will kill everyone very soon if things dont change completely from how it is now. I'm only in high school I just want a future. Please tell me I have a future
Hi Anon,
I received a bunch of asks similar to this one over the last several days, and I’m not sure if they are all from you or just a lot of people feeling similarly—but I’m going to try to cover them all here.
First, you still have a future. Full stop. And if you don’t want to take it from me, take it from actual NASA climate scientist Kate Marvel, who said “I unequivocally reject, scientifically and personally, that children are somehow doomed to an unhappy life”.
The future may be harder and more complicated than we would have envisioned without the obstacle of climate impacts—it will certainly be different. But it can absolutely still be full of joy and fulfillment and happiness.
Climate change is not a switch that gets flipped when we reach a certain threshold and then almost everyone dies or lives in a post apocalyptic disaster-movie reality. Climate impacts mean a gradual increase in the difficulty of meeting everyone’s needs, mitigating increasing natural disasters, preserving vital ecosystems, etc. as the climate gets warmer. Tipping points may accelerate that change, but it's still not a matter of a "human society kill switch".
Second, I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. I’m sorry that you feel like your future has been taken from you before it’s even started, I’m sorry that you feel betrayed by the generations that came before you. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be a high schooler right now, entering into adulthood at a time when the world is in such turmoil without the years of adult life experience to give some buffering perspective.
I know that looking at all the progress we still need to make it seems impossible that we will get anywhere close to where we need to be—but when I was in high school the idea that we would make as much progress as we have right now seemed laughably impossible. In my high school reality carbon capture was a sci-fi idea, electric cars were basically nonexistent, clean energy was such a negligible drop in the bucket that no one really believed could ever meet a significant portion of our energy needs, and climate change was generally considered a low-priority, "tree-hugger" issue if people even believed it was real.
The idea that we would have this much popular support, this much worldwide government action, this much investment and progress in clean energy and other climate solutions would have made my high school self cry with disbelieving happiness.
Every tenth of a degree of warming that we avoid will make life in the future measurably easier. We’ve already shifted that needle from 4 degrees to 2.7 in just a couple of decades. We need to keep pushing, but we are making progress and we have already steered the world away from the worst and most apocalyptic climate impacts.
Just getting this far is incredible, heroic work. That is millions of real humans that have been saved from death and poverty, that is an entire planet of people whose lives will be better than they would have been otherwise.
There is still a beautiful, vibrant, complex, life-giving world out there to save. Things will be different, the world will be different, but there is still a future to look forward to. And I would bet that when you've been out of high school for a couple of decades, the future you'll look back from will have seen a lot more progress than you're expecting right now.
(PS Just as a final side note, if you're feeling spiraling climate anxiety all the time, I would really encourage you to reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support. Any kind of anxiety--climate related or not--can have a really awful impact on your mental health and we all need extra help sometimes (speaking as a very anxious person myself))
#mental health#climate anxiety#ecoanxiety#ecogrief#environmental despair#climate change#global warming#ask#words#hope
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FTH 2025 Donation Totals
Friends, this has been an extraordinary year for the auction. We know how and why this happened: like in early 2017, everyone is scared and upset and looking for a way to do something meaningful.
And—just like in 2017, and every year since—hundreds of us have stepped up to support our most vulnerable neighbors and the organizations working to protect them.
Except this year, we did it on a scale we've never done before.
Last year, our donation total was an incredible $67,776.28
This year's donation total...
are you ready for it....
(you're not ready for it. we weren't.)
This year's donation total is:
Yes, you're reading that right. $127,204.11
We're flummoxed too—and deeply grateful to everyone who has poured their time and effort and money and love into participating in the auction this year, and into the fanworks that will come from it.
If you're curious about how those donations were distributed across the different organizations, here is the breakdown (this breakdown doesn't include employer match donations, which is why the total is a little lower):
Bellingcat: $2,636.19
Congo Leadership Initiative: $2,842
Crips for esims for Gaza: $4,762.60
Disability Law United: $3,835.39
Environmental Integrity Project: $3,712
Fight for the Future Education Fund: $3,108
Freedom to Read Foundation: $7,139.50
Global Project Against Hate and Extremism: $6,473
Hope for Ukraine: $12,613.93
In Our Own Voice: National Black Women's Reproductive Justice Agenda: $3,626
Middle East Children's Alliance: $13,572.43
National Network to End Domestic Violence: $4,999.95
Never Again Action: $4,555
News Literacy Project: $3,745.16
Young Center for Immigrant Children’s Rights: $10,072.56
Umbrella: organizations serving vulnerable LGBTQ people
Brave Space Alliance: $2,558
Kentucky Health Justice Network Inc: $2,636
Sherlock's Homes: $7,780.77
TransFamily Support: $5,387.01
TransQueerPueblo: $2,949
Other local LGBT organizations: $10,696.71 Yes, you're reading that right again. Three orgs AND the cumulative Other local LGBT orgs broke five figures.
We're especially delighted because, for the first time, the umbrella category worked the way we've always hoped it would! As you can see above, significant numbers of people used the umbrella category as a way to connect to an organization local to them.
As we learned through people's comments on the donation form, some people donated to organizations they were already familiar with (and in some cases had already donated to, or even volunteered at); others used this as a reason to learn more about their local organization and support them.
We'll share more about the "other umbrella" donations over the next few weeks—some more detailed stats, as well as the names of some of the local orgs that people donated to—and we'll invite those of you who connected up with local orgs to share your stories. We love that so many people took this chance to support groups working in their own community, and we hope that we can keep that going next year and beyond!
And speaking of the future!
Now is a great time to follow @fth2025fanworks. We'll use that blog to share any auction fanwork that gets posted to tumblr.
We urge you to keep up with the organizations you supported this year (and the others on our list!) Follow them on social media, subscribe to their newsletters, whatever works best for you. It will enable you to keep an eye on the good work you've helped support, and to find out quickly when these orgs need some extra support, financial or otherwise.
And if you're looking out at the world and feeling the itch to do more, here are some possibilities:
Follow @fthaction, the meatspace activism wing of FTH. We relaunched this project in the weeks between the end of signups and the beginning of browsing period, sharing some reading lists, an individualized activism bingo card, and an AMA with activist and organizer Kat Calvin. (We also did a test-flight AMA with ourselves, talking about the auction.) We'll probably need some time to recover from this year's auction, but we'll be back soon with more resources to share, more AMAs, and more tools for exploring all the different forms that meaningful activism can take and for figuring out which ones are right for you.
Organize your own auction! We've put together a detailed playbook that contains that contains as much information and as many resources as we can provide for getting an auction off the ground, including detailed guides. Almost everything in the playbook is fully public; there are a few forms that are access-locked because google has stupid ideas about sharing forms, but we're happy to give you access to those, too: just drop us an email.
Over here at FTH headquarters we are all in need of a long nap. But we'll be back in a couple of weeks, as promised, to share more about the umbrella orgs and to dig back into @fthaction to see what's possible.
Looking forward to a whole bunch of new fanworks! <3 your FTH mods
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Franziska Linkerhand, Brigitte Reimann
#do you ever start reading a novel and not even get past the first page before shrieking 'LEON'#incredibly niche content. this is for real just for me#and i understand this HOWEVER it bothered me and rotated in my brain so much i NEEDED to come put this here. stupid!!! hrrrggggghhhrrrh!!!!#and i was just going to put the verdreifachen line and i'm not happy with how it's edited but it's FINE everything's fine it's just.#LEON.#and like granted does this totally hold true no i don't think so it just slots into the terrible terrible universe of quotes i have for him#but i can't articulate it right. also we're throwing this into the Heimat thesis breakdown pile for leon &wherever the brainworms r crawlin#<- that is the one i mean thank you. yelling into the void ash & alice u will never be forgiven for starting this ily#ich möchte mein Leben verdreifachen / um nachzuholen / die lange lange Zeit / als es dich nicht gab#do i put this on the actual hockey blog to have the breakdown there and figure out what i mean? maybe.#but then i KNOW i'd have to translate it so people can read it and already i wouldn't know if i want to say my life in triplicate#or my life thrice over and if it's there was no you or you weren't there. save me translation theory save me (smacks me with a steel chair)#also it is SO raw.#i'm not afraid of the present but the memories i can't fight back against the pictures in ur head i can't see a pain i did not share w/ u..#and i do think the reason it hits so hard as a c/l to me is maybe the idea of this not as i didn't know you then at all#but that they did grow up together. and it's that he didn't have him in the way he does now he doesn't know him like he does now and now#he has to think about the life he had with connor&he want to do it once / twice over now to know to make up for the time he missed with him#but it also falls into the one in every dream i have of you you are making breakfast that even when i dream i'm dreaming of you inside them#(the life thrice over)#anyway. multitude of others it could be however bc it's auf Deutsch it got assigned leon even if it may not fit as perfectly. OH TIME LOOPS#THE JAMIE/TREVOR DUAL TIME LOOPS FIC OH MY GOD YEAH THAT'S THIS HOW DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO GET TO TIME LOOPS WITH LIFE THRICE OVER yesss
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