#incorrect shadowheart

[incorrect-baldurs-gate-3]

(Gale makes dinner and accidentally uses and misidentifies a wild plant and now the whole group is just staring up at the stars high AF)

Shadowheart: stars are pretty aren't they?

Astarion: up above the world so high... like little diamonds in the sky...

Karlach: that's BEAUTIFUL dude... you should write that down before someone steals it...

Gale: so Lae'zel you said there'd be meteors tonight when do the meteors get here?

Lae'zel: chk... the meteors don't get here the planet is moving into their path.

Tav: I can feel it... (excitedly) I can FEEL the planet MOVING!!!!! (Starts to get a head rush) it's moving too fast Wyll slow it down!!!

(Wyll squints up at the sky for a moment then closes his eyes with a sigh)

Wyll: okay how's that?

(Tav opens their eyes and then sighs in relief)

Tav: better thanks...

(A long pause... then.)

Shadowheart: stars are pretty aren't they?

(Lae'zel starts laughing, an unusual sound for her and everyone stares at her like she's got three heads, which would be wayyyy more likely than her LAUGHING)

Shadowheart: what's so funny?

Lae'zel: with your accent everything you say sounds stupid! (She snorts and mimics Shadowheart almost perfectly) "stars are pretty aren't they?!" (And she just starts rolling with laughter, obviously since everyone is high as kites her odd sounding very rare fit of laughter is highly contagious and everyone starts laughing with her... even Shadowheart herself)

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2605

Don't forget to feed your wizard. (Dialogue is just made up, lol.)

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Baldur's Gate 3 Companion Romances in a nutshell because I've been playing the game and I have brain rot

Karlach: Haha, if we focus on how much we love each other the sense of impending doom might go away what inevitable tragic ending kiss me again lover!

Minthara: Help! She's breaking me faster than I can fix her!

Astarion: Hey baby, lemme just get close to you so you'll never let me get hurt, you're such a useful pawn wait a minute what the fuck no I wasn't SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY LIKE YOU WHAT-

Gale: Protecting your cringefail boyfriend from his abusive ex.

Lae'zel: A tsundere who will actually fucking kill you, now with cult deprogramming.

Shadowheart: Enemies to friends to lovers, now with cult deprogramming.

Wyll: Protecting your cringefail boyfriend from his predatory business contract.

Halsin: Hippie Johnny Bravo.

[incorrect-bg3]

Astarion: We need to open this locked door. Shadowheart, give me your credit card.

Shadowheart: Here.

Astarion, pocketing it: Thanks. Gale, break down the door.

[bg3queen]

[fourraccoonsinacoat]

More of this nonsense. First round. Second round.

[glouris]

[okthisway]

Daily camp talks. Bonus:

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

Lae'zel: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Lae'zel: *aggressively throws water bottles*

Shadowheart: Uh... what's up with her?

Wyll: She's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Lae'zel: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

Astarion, crying: It's working.

[incorrect-baldurs-gate-3]

Tav, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Shadowheart, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2632

Spirits, where did you get all these pictures of Astarion? (Dialogue from tumblr.)

[finstermond]

Shadowheart: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time. Lae'zel [cracks knuckles]: Manslaughter it is.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Shadowheart: We have to go!

Astarion: Afraid I can’t. Tav is sleeping on top of me.

Shadowheart: Then push them off.

Astarion: *offended* Excuse me?

[lawyergamer]

MORE bg3 textposts (pt 3)

[violacee]

[incorrect-bg3]

Lae’zel: What is love?

Gale: An emotional minefield.

Shadowheart: A neurochemical reaction.

Karlach: Baby don't hurt me.