#incorrect headless

[incorrectheadlessquotes]

Ichabod: I need some advice.

Diedrich, not even looking up from his ukulele: you came to the right person

[astra-lilies]

Matilda: We need to find a way to get this door open... Ichabod, hand me your credit card.

Ichabod: Okay.

Matilda, pocketing it: Alright. Now, Brom, could you break down this door?

[born-to-riot]

Cassian: Azriel, Two truths and a lie, who would you fuck if you had the chance?

Azriel: alright bet.

Rhys: Give us three names and we’ll guess which one is the lie.

Azriel: option one, Hybern’s headless corpse

Cassian: woah, woah, woah bro WHAT—

Azriel: option two, bryaxis

Rhys: Azriel what?

Cassian: HOW DARE YOU?

Azriel: and finally option three, Eris Vanserra.

Cassian: …

Rhys: …

Azriel: tell me brothers, which one is the lie?

Cassian: …

Rhys: …

Cassian: I…

Rhys: I think it’s better off if we don’t know.

Azriel: suit yourselves 🤷‍♀️

[rudamaruda520]

[in the corridor]

Sirius: Hey! Nearly headless Nick! I mean- sir Nicholas! Wait!

Sir Nicholas: What do you need, child?

Sirius: I need to know how to become a ghost!

Sir Nicholas: Why would you want that?

Sirius: ...

Sirius: I have a great punch line that will work only after my death...

Sir Nicholas: And that's it? That's the whole reason?! Are you serious?

Sirius: Dead Sirius.

[heatherfield]

New Girl

Incorrect Quotes + Headless: A Sleepy Hollow Story [x]  

Bonus:

[klinefelterrible]

Minerva McGonagall: there are four houses

Minerva McGonagall: Pufflebuffledufflepumps, Ravencoldalausentopfenkoch, Greevindorflindlortf and Slutherin

Sorting hat: and we all know where Malfoy goes

Severus Snape: Minerva for fuck sakes

Minerva McGonagall: what

Nearly headless Nick: you said Plumpenhuhfufflendington wrong

Severus Snape: yeah, that too

Severus Snape: who the fuck would want to go there and remember this stupid name anyway

Minerva McGonagall: *taking a sip* who the fuck would want to remember your name anyway

[writebackatya]

“I built a sophisticated robot who is capable of many things and he has decided to those abilities to blindfold himself and play a game where you get candy by mindlessly batting a papier-mâché project shaped like a donkey. It’s fine! I’m fine! Everything is fine!”

[shewhowantsmouseears]

[carry-on-my-waiward-child]

[girl-named-matty]

The irony of me bringing him along on this quest.

[incorrectheadlessquotes]

Diedrich Knickerbocker, pulling out his ukulele: You know what I've realized?

Ichabod: that some things are better left unsaid?

Diedrich Knickerbocker: Haha, nice try anyways-

[awigglycultist]

*Brom is teaching*

Student: What did you say?

Brom: I said, whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a hoe!

[shychick-52]

*Sometime right after Gandra becomes an official member of Team Science, post-series*

Gandra: *to Gyro, Manny (wearing his lab coat, wings folded), and Lil Bulb on Gyro's shoulder* Could you guys excuse us for a few minutes?

Gyro: Excuse me, but whatever she has to say, she can say in front of us! Right, Dr. Intern?

Fenton: Uh... maybe you better go.

Gyro: *throws up his hands in exasperation* ...It starts. You think you know a guy!

*They exit the GizmoCloud, where they'd all been doing experiments*

Fenton: Gyro Gearloose. You'll learn to love him.

Gandra: Forget about him. Now that we're finally alone... *pulls him closer by his tie, and they start to kiss*

*Later, Gyro, Manny, and Lil Bulb stare at the lab's washroom door where the lovebirds are still inside hooked up to the GizmoCloud*

Gyro: Ugh! This is horseshit!

Manny: Excuse me?!

Gyro: I'm talking about them! *gestures toward washroom* Him. Her. *sarcastically sentimental tone* Alone.

Manny: What's wrong with that?

Lil Bulb: It's not as if you don't know they're together.

Gyro: Yes, but she's part of the team now! Things are... different. *starts to sing* I can see what's happening.

Manny: What?

Gyro: And they don't even see.

Lil Bulb: Who?

Gyro: They're so in love, and here's the bottom line- our quartet's down to three. *gestures to the three of them*

Manny: *understanding* Oh.

Gyro: *tearing up* It can be assumed-

Manny: *patting Gyro's back, before singing along* -His science-filled days with us are history.

All: In short, our friend is doomed.

*They all look at each other and burst into loud sobs*

[lulu-cat-princess]

Lord Bone: Humphrey stop waving that sword around. You’re going to chop off your head one day if you don’t be careful.

Teen Humphrey: You can’t tell me what to do!

20ish years later:

Lord Bone (watching his headless son stuck on earth as a ghost): I told you to be careful, but no you are still the rebellious youth on the inside. 

Humphrey on the first day as a ghost: Curse you father!

[heatherfield]

Nancy Drew

Incorrect Quotes + Headless: A Sleepy Hollow Story [x]  

[heatherfield]

[x]

god i'm so tired of everybody's bad faith interpretations of everything. where's the trust. where's the forgiveness. where's the understanding that most things are complex and most people have many layers. and like the black eyed peas once said. where is the love