#incorrect headless

[incorrectheadlessquotes]

Ichabod: I need some advice.

Diedrich, not even looking up from his ukulele: you came to the right person

[astra-lilies]

Matilda: We need to find a way to get this door open... Ichabod, hand me your credit card.

Ichabod: Okay.

Matilda, pocketing it: Alright. Now, Brom, could you break down this door?

[born-to-riot]

Cassian: Azriel, Two truths and a lie, who would you fuck if you had the chance?

Azriel: alright bet.

Rhys: Give us three names and we’ll guess which one is the lie.

Azriel: option one, Hybern’s headless corpse

Cassian: woah, woah, woah bro WHAT—

Azriel: option two, bryaxis

Rhys: Azriel what?

Cassian: HOW DARE YOU?

Azriel: and finally option three, Eris Vanserra.

Cassian: …

Rhys: …

Azriel: tell me brothers, which one is the lie?

Cassian: …

Rhys: …

Cassian: I…

Rhys: I think it’s better off if we don’t know.

Azriel: suit yourselves 🤷‍♀️

[rudamaruda520]

[in the corridor]

Sirius: Hey! Nearly headless Nick! I mean- sir Nicholas! Wait!

Sir Nicholas: What do you need, child?

Sirius: I need to know how to become a ghost!

Sir Nicholas: Why would you want that?

Sirius: ...

Sirius: I have a great punch line that will work only after my death...

Sir Nicholas: And that's it? That's the whole reason?! Are you serious?

Sirius: Dead Sirius.

[brenshor]

Wednesday: I don't see what the issue is I was just showing you MY stuffed animal collection.

Enid shuddering: Your definition of stuffed and mine are so very different.

[heatherfield]

New Girl

Incorrect Quotes + Headless: A Sleepy Hollow Story [x]  

Bonus:

[klinefelterrible]

Minerva McGonagall: there are four houses

Minerva McGonagall: Pufflebuffledufflepumps, Ravencoldalausentopfenkoch, Greevindorflindlortf and Slutherin

Sorting hat: and we all know where Malfoy goes

Severus Snape: Minerva for fuck sakes

Minerva McGonagall: what

Nearly headless Nick: you said Plumpenhuhfufflendington wrong

Severus Snape: yeah, that too

Severus Snape: who the fuck would want to go there and remember this stupid name anyway

Minerva McGonagall: *taking a sip* who the fuck would want to remember your name anyway

[writebackatya]

“I built a sophisticated robot who is capable of many things and he has decided to those abilities to blindfold himself and play a game where you get candy by mindlessly batting a papier-mâché project shaped like a donkey. It’s fine! I’m fine! Everything is fine!”

[shewhowantsmouseears]

[carry-on-my-waiward-child]

[incorrectheadlessquotes]

anyone: i don't like women (as in im gay)

brom: MISOGYNIST

[girl-named-matty]

The irony of me bringing him along on this quest.

[awigglycultist]

*Brom is teaching*

Student: What did you say?

Brom: I said, whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a hoe!

[shychick-52]

*Sometime right after Gandra becomes an official member of Team Science, post-series*

Gandra: *to Gyro, Manny (wearing his lab coat, wings folded), and Lil Bulb on Gyro's shoulder* Could you guys excuse us for a few minutes?

Gyro: Excuse me, but whatever she has to say, she can say in front of us! Right, Dr. Intern?

Fenton: Uh... maybe you better go.

Gyro: *throws up his hands in exasperation* ...It starts. You think you know a guy!

*They exit the GizmoCloud, where they'd all been doing experiments*

Fenton: Gyro Gearloose. You'll learn to love him.

Gandra: Forget about him. Now that we're finally alone... *pulls him closer by his tie, and they start to kiss*

*Later, Gyro, Manny, and Lil Bulb stare at the lab's washroom door where the lovebirds are still inside hooked up to the GizmoCloud*

Gyro: Ugh! This is horseshit!

Manny: Excuse me?!

Gyro: I'm talking about them! *gestures toward washroom* Him. Her. *sarcastically sentimental tone* Alone.

Manny: What's wrong with that?

Lil Bulb: It's not as if you don't know they're together.

Gyro: Yes, but she's part of the team now! Things are... different. *starts to sing* I can see what's happening.

Manny: What?

Gyro: And they don't even see.

Lil Bulb: Who?

Gyro: They're so in love, and here's the bottom line- our quartet's down to three. *gestures to the three of them*

Manny: *understanding* Oh.

Gyro: *tearing up* It can be assumed-

Manny: *patting Gyro's back, before singing along* -His science-filled days with us are history.

All: In short, our friend is doomed.

*They all look at each other and burst into loud sobs*

[lulu-cat-princess]

Lord Bone: Humphrey stop waving that sword around. You’re going to chop off your head one day if you don’t be careful.

Teen Humphrey: You can’t tell me what to do!

20ish years later:

Lord Bone (watching his headless son stuck on earth as a ghost): I told you to be careful, but no you are still the rebellious youth on the inside. 

Humphrey on the first day as a ghost: Curse you father!

[heatherfield]

Nancy Drew

Incorrect Quotes + Headless: A Sleepy Hollow Story [x]