#incorrect floor 19

[incorrect-riordanverse-quotes]

Blitz: Alex, keep an eye on Magnus today. He’s going to say the wrong thing to someone and get punched. Alex: Sure, I’d love to see Magnus get punched. Blitz: Try again. Alex, sighing: I will stop Magnus from getting punched.

[uncle-rick-just-posted]

Sam: Alex, why did you hit Magnus with a chair?

Alex: I couldn't lift the table.

[curtins]

GREEDY — gojo satoru minors dni

prologue. → pretty, prodigal, and teasing. how far can you push your former teacher before he snaps? gojo's about this 🤏 close from releasing a hollow purple on the world.

pairing. gojo satoru x afab!reader

warnings+. màstúrbation (m.) and rough sèx, creaḿpie. some angst/doubt. angsty love confession before gojo póunds reader into the mattress. incorrect use of reversed curse technique. arguments and stuff. description of injuries. def mean!gojo a bit and he's got vampire tendencies.

reader is of legal age (implied to be 19-20) and gojo is 28 so age gap!romance. obsessed!gojo and popular girl!reader trope. gojo is absolutely a mess in this, and reader is described as wearing short skirts, and wearing makeup.

rather questionable ethics and dynamics (teacher/former student) but rest assured its clear that his feelings are pretty recent. reader has him twirled and whipped around her fingers. reader is also def a baddie and ambiguously bi.

word count. 8.7k words im mad actually. this was meant to be headcanons song inspiration. greedy — tate mcrae

a/n. this is was gonna be from reader's pov but i thought it would be more fun from gojo's 🙂‍↔️

mp3. i see you eyeing me down, but you'll never know much past my name. or how i'm running this room, but i'm still half your age. yeah, you're looking at me like i'm some sweet escape 😛

gojo satoru was not a weak man, no. he knew that he was an anomaly of nature, an unstoppable power that could reduce enemies to dust and make entire clans crumble with nothing more than a flick of his wrists.

so how was it, that when it came to you, his resolve was paper-thin?

every time your open gaze met his, every time you brushed past him, every time your presence filled the space around his infinity, gojo felt something inside him unravel. his breath would be caught in his chest, leaving his pulse to quicken and suddenly, all that strength and control would slip through his fingers.

gojo cursed himself for this, you see. he had never been one to lose control, but he was not quite sure when his entire body has started to betray him.

but no, fuck that, and he did his utter best to run his focus back onto the lesson at hand. unfortunately, the lesson at hand was with you. standing in front of him, arms slightly raised, palms out, and raising your brow as boredom passed over your face.

gojo cleared his throat, "your stance is good, but your cursed energy is all over the place. focus, breathe. centre yourself is what i'm saying," he instructed, but the words felt hollow as they passed through his lips.

unfairly, you're weren't the problem. he was. and now this was getting ridiculous. you had graduated not two, three years past? it would have been a disservice to still call you his student, but even as a mentee, you were still under his tutelage. and as recent as this immature infatuation was, this felt wrong.

but now you were frowning, starting to waver and the sharp, staccato tap of your heeled boot punctuated the wooden floor, click, click!

gojo looked to the sky, briefly, if to pray for patience and a calm of some sorts. he stepped forwards towards you, placing a hand on your waist to guide you into a better stance, and trying to ignore the way your skin felt warm underneath his fingers.

focus.

"don't let your body twist like that when you utilise your own cursed energy. keep it straight, balanced," he muttered, adjusting your posture slightly, hand on your spine — the heel of his palm pressing into a dent. a deity from the sky must have struck him with a cursed arrow, for his whole body was on fire.

because there you were, standing right in front of him, so close that gojo could feel the soft heat of your breath, the faint scent of a sweet perfume wafting off your skin, vanilla?

"you're not focused," gojo grimaced, though he wasn't sure if the rebuke was at himself, or at you — whose eyes widened briefly, and gojo tried not to recognise the curiosity and challenge that flashed across your face.

look at how she's staring at me. and gojo felt utterly ridiculous, and exposed, she knows. but instead of pulling away, you shifted ever so slightly towards him, your body arching as the barest brush of your breasts against his forearm had heat pulling through his body.

would you taste as sweet as you smelt? would you lean more into him if he asked?

he cleared his throat, "okay. relax, not every stance or position works for an individual. perhaps, you'll be able to focus better like this," and with his hand still on your waist, he pulled you into a swift spin. one that left your back pressed against the hard planes of the chest, and you facing the other wall.

you hummed, this time not in the way he wanted. your lips were lightly parted, and there was that soft sheen of gloss catching the light, making your lips look impossibly soft. gojo caught himself staring, wandering what it would be like to press his own mouth to yours, and whether you would squeal or moan.

still, if there was anything that gojo was good at, it was deflecting like a champ, "i think you're distracted," he laughed, low and amused, "is something making you lose focus?"

you tilted your head, and gojo didn't miss (nor did his heart or groin) that your gaze flickered to his mouth for the briefest second before meeting his eyes again, feigning innocence, "don't tell me you're underestimating me, sensei. because i'd hate to think you can't keep up?"

gojo bit back a grin at the obvious bait, "careful," brushing strands of white hair that had fallen into his face away, "if you get too cocky, you tend to miss danger. you start to ignore things that should be noticed."

your voice dropped to a droll whisper, eyes glinting, "you think i don't notice things? i'm aware of plenty."

gojo forced himself to focus, to ignore the way that your lashes flutter with unshakable composure. trying to regain control, or some semblance of mind, he started counting each individual lash painted dark with mascara, lingering on the outermost curls that framed your sharp eyes.

after a beat, he forced himself to break eye contact, "alright," he said, stepping back with a casual shrug that he hoped conveyed just how nonchalant he was, "we’ll call it a day here and continue training tomorrow."

"backing out already?" you teased, leaning in just a little, making him tense at the closeness.

gojo chuckled, feigning nonchalance. "for your sake. you may be powerful, but you have to pace yourself."

you shrugged, nodding, "i'm going out anyway this evening," you said, hopping back a step before bending down to gather your things. gojo politely averted his gaze, his heart hammering from your previous proximity, and desperately hoping to avoid a...reaction, that would be quite inconvenient, as wide and loose as his martial pants were. like a fuckin' school boy with a crush. gross.

but as you slung your pastel bag over your shoulder and straightened up, he couldn't help a quick glance, catching the small, coy glimmer in your eyes as you turned to leave.

gojo sighed, pulling up his blindfold once more, "have fun," he half-heartedly offered, but you were already out the door.

the corridors were now empty, the clang of metal and chatter now silent, replaced with a quiet hum of the air conditioning. gojo wiped his face with the towel wrapped around his neck, the damp fabric clinging to his skin and the muscles in his arms and chest still warm from the intensity of training. his arms and chest glistened, the muscles warm and taut as he stretched, rolling his shoulders back with a low groan. exhaustion settled into him like a weight, each movement of his tired, bare torso slow and deliberate.

"oh, you're still here, sensei?"

gojo's eyes snapped open, drawn to the sound of your inquisitive voice. you stood in the doorway, framed by the dim light from the hallway, and he immediately felt a rush of heat flood his chest.

well, fuck, now his mouth was dry. clearly, your previous iteration of 'going out' was a bit more glamorous than you had led on, and he was certain his wandering eyes betrayed him as it flickered over your figure. it took a titan's strength to keep his eyes from trailing down your long legs, the way your dress hugged the swell of your chest, or over your glistening neck. there was a faint shimmer, a glitter of some sort? it coated your skin, and gojo wanted to lick it off with his tongue.

what? no. who said that?

he swallowed hard, forcing himself to keep his composure.

you scowled at his reaction, clearly mistaking his silence for distaste. "what? i did say i was going somewhere," you retorted, your tone sharp but amused. "i’m more than allowed to leave the campus grounds.”

"of course,” he replied, voice outstandingly steady but his mind still trailing after every curve, every detail that made you look...well...dangerous in the best way, "don't let me stop you. who's the lucky guy?"

you arched a brow, folding your arms over your chest, and now, gojo really did have to look away and pretend that he was busy with retying a dark piece of cloth over his eyes, "who said it was a guy?"

gojo thickly swallowed, wondering if he'd just made a colossal blunder with no return, "that's not what i meant." the words 'my bad' stuck in his throat as you laughed and sighed.

"joking, sorry. it's a guy, this time." now you were fiddling with your long nails, with a satisfying clack as they ran across each other.

"i hope he shows you a great time then," he offered, half-hearted, blasé.

you took a step into the room, and gojo didn't even need six eyes to know that your eyes were raking over his chest, "i'm sure he will," all sweetness and sugar, "i've been training so hard, i deserve it, don't i?"

the words hit him harder than he expected, and he had to remind himself — she's not yours, satoru. but that didn't stop the gruff irritation bubbling up.

"a real man should be taking you out on a date like this,” he said, his voice a bit too rough for his liking. "not some guy who’s probably just looking for a good time."

you scoffed lightly, rolling your eyes. "are you saying that there's someone else out there who can do a better job?" your tone was playful, but there was a challenge in it — an edge that made his heart skip once more, "sadly, there just aren't many who've handled me well."

he ignored your immature, faux pout, and ran a hand through damp, icy hair — ignoring how his temper flared, rearing its ugly head.

was this all on purpose? to toy with him?

"you want to be handled, sweetheart?" gojo's voice dropped a little lower, indulging your teasing, "i've seen you lose focus easily, you could easily break."

your lips creased up, painted a tempting shade of dried-blood red (what the fuck was wrong with him? was he now just a horny vampire?) as you purred, "i'd need some help testing out that theory." your expression was open just enough for him to see the tiniest flicker of something in your eyes — something that told him you were enjoying this far more than you should.

an invitation of sorts, he wondered. did you want him to move? to make a move? it wasn’t a secret that you had always been a popular student practically a legend, rumours swirling around you like wildfire — whispers of broken hearts and sweetened smiles that could captivate anyone in your path. he had never paid attention of course, gossip always ran wild among students and he discouraged such whispers of who-did-what, for a grade 1 curse would never indulge such behaviour before they would get torn to shreds.

and even now, long after graduation as you worked around your old alma mater, men and women — everyone swooned at the chance to speak with you, and yet, here you were, playing this dangerous game with him.

gojo scowled, trying to push past the desire building inside him, the urge to have you underneath him, right on this mat in the training room. "well, don’t hang around too long," he said, his tone sharp as a blade. "i’m sure your date is waiting. go have a good time."

invitation declined. the morally right thing to do. right?

he didn’t need to look to see the small sneer that curled at the corner of your lips, or the way it turned into a fleeting expression of annoyance. he could hear the click of your heels echo down the hallway as you sashayed out.

what the everlasting fuck was wrong with him?

lo and behold, the great gojo satoru often found himself alone in his own private rooms. for 'the strongest' rarely had time to accommodate some other forms of company.

and frankly, he had no desire to do so now regardless. not when the echoes of your clicking heels still reverberated in his mind. the silence that echoed around him was heavy, suffocating and he was sure he looked erratic.

gojo ran a hand over his face, trying to shake the thought of you. but it was useless. his body was still on fire, the heat of jealousy smouldering in his chest, coiling in his gut like something alive, something dangerous. he had walked to the nearest chair and collapsed into it, his legs splayed wide apart as his shoulders slumped under the soft, amber glow of the setting sun that streamed through the windows. the sorcerer let his head fall back against the chair, eyes closed.

how absolutely ridiculous, he thought, running his fingers through his tousled hair. no, he just couldn't stop it. couldn't stop thinking about how badly he wanted you. wanted you to want him too. and now, with the way you’d left, with that knowing smile on your lips, all he could imagine was the man you were with now, the man who’d be holding the door open for you, who’d be pulling out your chair, whoever the hell he was.

maybe even a casual, non-sorcerer. some random guy that you had indulged because he was no threat. but he wouldn't be able to touch you, not in the way that you demanded. the man would laugh at your jokes, brush his hand against yours, but wouldn't be able to let a real smile bubble from your lips like satoru could.

and what would that man do next?

would he try to take you back to his place? some small poorly-lit apartment where he'd try to kiss you, to claim your lips without even pulling away for air. would you kiss him back, curling into his frame?

before gojo's even registered what he's doing, his own hand has found his hard cock. despite the tattle of assistance, and dreamy-eyed mongers, pleasure is rare for him. relief, even less so. his schedule just doesn't allow it, and so he oft find himself chasing some distant contentment like this, alone in his rooms.

but he squeezes at the wide hilt, at his base, pulling his hands up, upwards as his brows furrow under blindfold, and he tugs the offending fabric off, away from him, as laden balls smack against his wrist.

maybe the man would then trail his lips down your neck, maybe he'd try to slowly sink his teeth into delicate flesh, leaving blooming purple marks that wouldn't fade, not when gojo saw you tomorrow.

he's running his curled hand up towards the fat mushroom tip, almost glowing pink with heat and pre-cum that's leaving his hand slicked with faint moisture, "shit, that's it."

then what? he can imagine your teasing smile as you decide to take your pleasure as you see fit. how you'd suddenly push this faceless man off, and move so you're straddling him, letting his hands wander around the curve of your hips, digging into plush flesh.

now he's starting to pant, open-mouthed, "ah - fuck! wish i had you here, right here." gojo must be a madman, breathing out to the empty, open air.

but in his mind's eye, you're reaching behind your back to undo the zipper on your outstandingly tight dress, giving the faceless man a coy smile as you push the fabric of your dress down, letting your plentiful tits spill out and against the man's chest.

his wrist is moving faster now, and there's a cramp starting to build up as he pistons his hand over his stretched shaft, and one arm is thrown over his face — the soft hairs on his thick forearm tickling his face as he tries not to gasp or whine too loudly, but he's bucking his ups now, pretending that it's not his hand that he's spilling into, but your tight cunt. and later, he shudders and tenses up, with apologies whispered into the air, "look, look - shit, i'm sorry - i'm sorry. couldn't help it, fuck." and gojo's bitten his lips so hard that he's certain he's drawn blood, vibrant red blooming on pale, creamy skin.

and a lamp had exploded as he came. damn, he'd have to replace that.

you don't deserve someone like him, no. not when he's sitting here, absolutely filthy with thick, white seed entirely over his tense abdominal muscles and stiff hand. not when he's trying to catch his breath after imagining how snug your pussy would feel around him, and how you'd beg for him to give it to you harder.

you didn't deserve someone so messed up with guilt, with mistakes, with the kind of weight that made him too much for anyone, let alone someone like you. didn't you deserve better than a tortured man who couldn't control himself, better than an overzealous mentor who was supposed to keep his distance, to do what was right.

but that didn’t stop his thoughts from swirling, as he separated damp, thick thighs from the smooth surface of the chair, reaching for a tissue. he couldn’t help it. and it made him feel like a damn fool.

the meeting room buzzed with tension, voices rising in sharp, clipped exchanges — some angry, some demanding and others clueless and questioning. gojo had woken up in a foul mood that morning, with some ill-gotten storm brewing beneath his chest. perhaps it was the thoughts of you that lingered from the night before, a gnawing jealously that left him feeling too tight in the stiffness of the uniform dress pants.

but he had forced himself to be dragged through this meeting, plastering a snarky light-hearted grin over his face as he leaned against the wall, letting the higher-ups argue themselves into oblivion.

amidst the storm of words, gojo's focus was nowhere near the mission being discussed. no, his attention was fixated entirely on you. you stood at the far end of the table, eyes flashing with ire as you tore into some pompous old fool who’d dared question your power. the others in the room shifted uncomfortably, deferring to you, as they often did, despite your youth. you had that rare combination of presence and bite that made people recoil back when you sunk your teeth into them, and this was not a knot gojo was interested in unraveling.

kojiro, one of the bumbling administrators, had turned his babbling attention to gojo, "you're still planning to face that curse head-on, gojo-san?" the poor man is wringing his hands at gojo's flat look (made all the more unreadable through a blindfold, satoru would wager), "don't you think it would be well - unwise? instead of expending your time and energy on one cursed spirit, you could handle five lesser ones. efficiency, you see."

gojo's gaze briefly flickers back to you, standing with your arms crossed as one hand fiddles with the end of your braid as your petal-pink lips scowl at some other official with words that don't fit his stature. your other hands keeps reaching around your neck, adjusting a plaid scarf over and over, like you're desparate to hide something under the fabric . well, fuck that.

"i'm aware of the risks," gojo turns his attention back to the matter, "but no one here has time for hesitation. if the curse is special grade, don't you at least think that delaying with lead to more destruction?"

"is it really the cursed spirit you’re worried about, takumi-san?" you asked, your voice low, the kind of voice that could make someone forget their own name.

gojo's gaze snapped to you from under the blindfold, but you weren’t looking at him, not even speaking at him. instead, you were locking eyes with one of the other sorcerers — takumi, a grade two with a shaggy mop of golden hair, one who had been a student alongside you and hardly subtle in his admiration for you.

gojo tries to hide a scoff at how takumi's eyes are wandering over you, ignoring the newpapers that have been flattened on the meeting table, with bold inked letters reading doom-portents such as 'unexplained explosion, 4 dead and 12 injured."

time and place, man.

"you don't think i can handle this mission. if you're worried about me, just say so," takumi's now leaning into you, even as gojo tries to train his ear on kojiro's economic-obsessed babble instead.

gojo can see your eyes flicker to the dastardly newspapers as well, clearly curling your lips at the dour news and takami's disastrous attempt at getting his hands under your skirt. but he also knows that sharp glint in your eyes, the one when you toy with those around you, to pull them in without ever committing to anything. clearly, you've decided to indulge this game.

"takumi," and you draw out the younger man's name, "shouldn't you bring more strength to the table? of course, i'm worried about a friend getting hurt. but even if you were stronger, or the strongest, a special grade curse could do some real damage."

and your eyes have flicked right towards gojo, raking over his frame leaning against the pale cream walls. he's glad for the blindfold, so you can't see how he scowls and furrows his thin brows at you, at your blatant hopes for a reaction from him. were you so unobservant that you did not know how much you bothered him?

the pointed sharpness in your words made takumi pause, and for just a moment, gojo could see the man’s grin falter. it was clear that you weren’t impressed by his attention, you had no need for his slimy attempts.

there was no mistake about it — this wasn’t just a flirtation. this was a game you played, and gojo was not only aware of it; he was caught in it. he tries not to feel irrationally angry, fuck, so much of his life revolves around his work, his job and now he can't even do that properly without feeling like you're using your long nails to dangle something in front of him, wanting to snap his teeth out and snatch it.

so you wanted him to see this. you wanted to claim that you could unravel the strongest sorcerer from the heavens to the earth below, to make him lose his composure. gojo feels as if there is crackling ozone in the air, and wonders dimly if the weather forecast predicted a rain storm for later today.

takumi, sensing the shift, finally backed off with a huff, but not before giving all around him a lingering look, as if it was their fault that you weren't interested.

"enough distractions," kojiro's interjected, raking a finger through a beard streaked with gray, and he's shooting a pointed look at you, snapping rose-pink gum, and takumi, shuffling with his hands in his pockets. "we're here to discuss the mission, not flirt." and then, he's off mumbling something about how this was why he hated having younger sorcerers join the meeting rooms.

his ire only grew. gojo stood with his back against the wall, outside the meeting room, once everyone had left with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. you stood in front of him, your eyes flashing with anger, your chest rising and falling with each sharp breath.

"absolutely not," gojo stood his ground firmly, "no-one will let you go on this mission."

you stomped on the floor, once as your heels snapped an echo, "they will if you say so."

gojo stuffs his hands in his pockets, "who said that i would also allow you?"

you scoffed, folding your arms across your chest, mimicking his previous stance but with a clear defiance in your posture. "and why the hell not? i'm more than capable of handling it. it's my fucking choice, and how can extra help hurt?"

"enough!" gojo snapped, feeling a tense pain in between his eyes, "it's too dangerous. and you're too young -"

"too young!" you've interrupted him, "i'm not some helpless child, sensei. i'm a grade 1 sorcerer! one of the best, i don't need to be treated like i can't handle a mission."

"grade 1. not special-grade."

his eyes narrowed, his jaw tight. gojo could see the fury in your eyes, but there was something else there, something deeper, a vulnerability that he had seen before in students, some desire to prove themselves and be heaped with praise. he knew you were good, better than most — hell, better than many of the adults he’d seen. but this cursed spirit was unlike anything you’d faced before. and yet, here you were, challenging him, pushing him, daring him to stop you.

"you don’t get it," he muttered, the words slipping from his mouth before he could stop them. "you think you’re invincible, but you’re not. you're too reckless."

"reckless!" now you had taken a step towards him, narrowing the space between you both. your eyes were fierce now, but there was something else in them — a spark of hurt that made his chest tighten, and gojo began to wander where this would start spiral. "i’m not reckless. i know exactly what i’m doing. the only reckless thing here is you thinking you have the right to control my every move."

"i'm the one in charge here," he said, his voice hoarse, the words coming out sharper than he intended. "and i'm telling you now, you’re not going. you’re not ready for this. don't involve the higher-ups in this."

you were so close now, just inches apart. his eyes flicked to your lips, with the arch of a blooming flower kissed by the sun, for a brief moment, and then back up to your face, where anger and frustration mixed with something else — a challenge.

"maybe that’s the problem," you said, your voice quieter now, but still holding an edge. "you think i'm still some child who needs you to tell me what to do. maybe you just don’t want me to outshine you."

the words are ridiculous, and he can see by the mild quiver as your throat bobs that you don't mean what you say. it takes a rare type of courage to tell the first person in four hundred years to be born with limitless and six eyes, that he could be outshined. but satoru doesn't say a word to rebuke your obvious and false bait.

your body is so close now that gojo could feel the heat of your skin, your breath brushing against his. he could smell the faint sweetness of vanilla again in the air mingled with fresh, crisp apples, could see the subtle shine of your lip gloss catching the light. it was a testament to his spirit, he thinks, that he did not lean in straight away and touch his mouth to yours in this scenario that certainly did not warrant it.

"you want me to stop you that badly?" he hissed, his voice a mix of frustration and something darker, that had not yet snapped. "is that what this is? a game? a way for you to get my attention? to see how far you can push me before i do snap?"

now he's got your tongue, and your expression has flickered for a brief moment before schooling into an impassive mask, and gojo briefly wanders if he's crossed an awful line and misinterpreted everything. if they're gonna stick a white dunce hat on his head and parade him through the streets of outer tokyo for being an assuming fool.

but then you've stepped even closer, your breath coming faster, the weight of your chest almost pressed against his, and gojo doesn't move and he's briefly aware that he's let his infinity down.

"partly, you know it's not just about you though. i do want to go on this mission, but -" you tilt your head and look right up at him, and the older man's head starts to reel from the fact that he was right all along, "i do want to see how far you can go before you snap."

his heart pounded, and for a moment, everything went still. all the tension, all the heat, the anger, and the desire — everything seemed to converge in the space between you. gojo's hand twitched, aching to touch you, but he held himself back, his muscles straining with the effort.

"stop,” he rasped, barely able to get the word out. "you don’t know what you’re doing, or what you're asking for."

he's never felt quite like this before, breathless as if the air has been punched out of his lungs. all gojo could think was how much he wanted to pull you closer, to kiss you until there was nothing left between you.

but he couldn’t.

he puts his hands on your shoulders, fingers digging into the expensive fabric of your top, and gently pushes you away.

"my decision is final. don't make this harder than this, you're forbidden from the mission."

how sick and twisted, that you've fled with embarrassed tears pricking at your eyes, and he's stuck with a raging erection.

well, he had seen worse. but it didn't make this curse any less vicious. it was ancient, he could presume, and maddening. its cursed energy was warping the night air like a violent storm. but again, not the worst thing that he had encountered in his twenty-eight years, and with the right timing, he'd been able to calculate every strike and counter.

but then he saw you.

at first, he thought it was a blur — a trick of the light. but then, there you were, standing at the edge of the pavement, your figure framed by the chaotic crackle of cursed energy. fuck your stubborn nature.

this is not what is meant to happen. gojo's heart has skipped a beat, and he's not sure what he's more furious with. you, for defying his concern for your safety. or himself, for getting so distracted in. a battle.

"what the fuck is wrong with you?"

yes, he knows you're good. good enough to move with precision against a special-grade curse, your stance instantly and suspiciously better than the other day in the training rooms. it's only through his six eyes that gojo has been able to keep a track of your movements as your jujutsu is able to dodge the creature's brutal force.

impressive. but reckless.

and that never lasts.

you had moved to cast your own cursed technique, but the curse was intelligent enough to anticipate it. with a sudden lash of its tail, the creature swung its power straight at you, knocking you off balance. you stumbled, your footing lost, and before you could react, a flash of dark energy slicing across your shoulder.

a scream had torn from your lips as you fell to the ground, blood spurting from the deep cut.

and briefly, just for a flicker of time, gojo sees a dark-haired man in violet robes leaning against a brick wall, with his shoulder torn off, 'at least curse me one last time.'

blood rushing in his ears, before he even realised it, he was on top of you, his body hovering over yours, his jujutsu flaring as he shoved the cursed spirit back with a brutal force that made the earth tremble, an exorcism that will not take long. he kneeled beside you, his breath ragged, eyes locked on the wound on your shoulder. the blood was already soaking your clothes, darkening the fabric as you winced, your breath shallow and unsteady.

"you —” gojo isn't sure if his hand isn't shaking from how irate he is, "what the hell were you thinking? fuck, don't move."

your eyes were unfocused for a moment, but when they snapped to him, there was defiance there — even in this moment (get a grip!), as you gritted your teeth against the pain.

"save it, it's fine," you spat, your voice weak but vexed, "that bitch is still there."

"what did i tell you! what did i say would happen?" he cursed under his breath, focusing his reversed cursed technique as he tried to heal you, but the moment felt like an eternity as bright red blood moved too fast for him to seize it.

an assassin's blade in his throat, his arteries giving way and bubbling out and up.

now you don't answer, your eyes fluttering closed for a brief second. gojo's gaze darted to the cursed spirit, which was now advancing again, enraged by the interruption.

it won’t touch you again.

he stood, pulling you away from him, your body slumping slightly out of his arms. he could feel the heat of your blood soaking through his sleeve, but he had no time to dwell on it. the curse roared in fury, and gojo's infinity flared up around him again, a shield of pure energy blocking its path.

"stay down,” he growled, and all he received was a weak, "fuck, you think that's funny?"

it's only later when he's pulling you back up, that he realises that his reversed cursed energy has done enough to stem the bleeding, but not enough to leave you unharmed as your breath is shallow, your face taking on a more sickly pallor.

"don’t you ever — ever —do that again," he snarled, his voice raw and he wonders when something (or someone) has ever undone him so much. but the anger in his voice doesn't carry to his touch as he gently cupped your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek, tracing the lines of your jaw.

the sterile walls of your room did nothing to soften the tension in gojo's chest as he stood by your bed, his eyes tracing the curve of your sullen form beneath the sheets. your shoulder was bandaged, with red seeping slowly through the white strips.

"you really are unbelievable," he snapped, his voice sharp as he paced around the room, every step heavy with frustration. "i told you it was too dangerous. i told you not to fucking go."

you lay there, your eyes half-closed, as though you weren’t even listening, but the twitching frown on your lips is sign enough that you're not as sorry. his fingers flexed at his sides, itching to do something — anything — to release the tension building in him.

"are you even listening to me?" he know he sounds bitter, over-reactionary, angry as he moved towards the edge of your bed.

you blinked slowly, your gaze still infuriatingly calm, "i'm fine, now. save the lecture."

he doesn't want to start sputtering so he settles for crossing his arms over his chest, but your voice breaks the silence again.

"you know i want to be a special grade sorcerer, right?"

gojo only looks down, not wanting to indulge an excuse and he studies the tight grip of his knuckles on his slender fingers, "well, i don't know why. the pay isn't that good." it's a weak attempt at a joke, but you're smiling.

"i was told i could only become one if i was the one to exorcise that special grade."

"by who? the higher-ups?" and you nod, wincing as you do.

what a fucking surprise. the way that the jujutsu world works is no surprise to gojo by now, having been surrounded by it his entire life. but the harshness of their reality still shocks him, old and doddering officials who cling to their silk robes are prone to sending out younger sorcerers (those who are still green, barely out of school) to do their dirty work for them, and the cemetery outside of jujutsu tech is ever growing.

he ground his teeth together, his chest tightening as he stared down at you. the bandages, the damp skin, the stillness of your body — it made him want to tear something apart. "fine! if they were giving you a hard time, why didn't you just come to me then?" he repeated harshly.

"would you go ask someone to help you, for something like this? if you were asked to prove yourself?"

gojo runs his tongue behind his teeth, "i'm the strongest, princess. i don't need to ask for help."

you groan, turning your head away from him, but a faint smile dances upon your lips.

he inhales sharply, his fingers digging into the edge of the bed. "you think this is a joke?"

"all four limbs are attached and i'm living and breathing. okay, so fine. my bad. i won't do it again. will you stop snapping at me now, at everything -" and gojo wonders if there's really some hurt colouring your voice, "what's going on?"

the words slip out, rough and unrestrained. "what’s going on is that you’re driving me insane. you act like this doesn’t matter, like i can just stand by and let you throw yourself into danger like it’s nothing — like you don’t matter — but you do. you do matter."

his chest was heaving now, his hands shaking as he reached out and grabbed your wrist. his thumb brushed over your pulse, the tiny fluttering beneath your skin driving him wild. "i can’t — i can’t just stand there and watch you get hurt," he continued, his voice hoarse. "you don’t get to do whatever you want without consequences, damn it. you don’t get to make me feel this way, and then pretend like it doesn’t matter."

for a moment, there was silence. gojo's pulse was hammering in his ears, his body coiled with the intensity of everything he was trying to say. everything he was trying not to say. everything he wanted to act upon.

and then, with a slow, almost lazy smile, you turned towards him, "i didn't know the great gojo satoru was like this. who would have thought?"

his breath hitched in his throat. gojo wanted to say something, to snap at you again, to maintain that distance — but the truth was that the distance between the two of you had disappeared these past few weeks. his chest tightened, his hands trembling as they slid to your face, fingers tracing the line of your jaw, and he relished how your facade almost cracked and you lightly shivered.

at least, he hoped you were shivering because of his touch. and not, like, a fever building up from your injuries.

fuck it.

and then, before he could stop himself, gojo was leaning down, his lips crashing into yours with all the force he could muster, desparate and hungry and that frustration and fear that he had been holding onto. his hand cupped the back of your neck, pulling you towards him with a force that made your breath catch, as you responded with a soft gasp.

had he misstepped? no, for you kissed him back, tentatively at first, as if you were testing the waters, but then building up to a sudden urgency that mirrored his own. your hands slid to his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as you pushed yourself closer to him, before crying out.

"ah! fuck, my shoulder."

small beads of blood surfaced where your collarbone met your shoulder, each one glistening like tiny rubies against your warm skin. they gathered slowly, delicate droplets that clung to you before tracing faint, uneven lines downward. the red stood out, vivid and fresh, dotting your skin in a stark, almost mesmorising gojo as they welled up and began to trick in thin, crimson trails.

"stay still," gojo rasped, his voice low and rough as he leaned in, pressing closer. his mouth met the fresh blood pooling on your skin, tongue tracing over the small rivulets that had seeped from beneath the bandage.

he lingered, almost savouring the taste, his eyes darkening as the sharp tang of iron lingered on his tongue, smacking his lips slightly as he drew back, gaze fixed intently on you, on your heavy breathing as he stole away another kiss from you.

gojo's lips left yours briefly, his breath ragged as he stared down at you, his eyes wild underneath the blindfold, gasping as your nails reached up to hook the fabric down so his hair loosened, falling around his face.

you were staring back at him, breathless and wide-eyed, and in that moment, gojo knew — he couldn’t stay away from you. no matter how much he tried.

your lips were soft, so soft, but there was fire behind the way you kissed him back, your hands landing on his chest, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. he groaned, deep in his throat, and his fingers threaded into your hair, pulling you closer.

his mouth moved urgently over yours as he shifted to stand beside the bed, his body hovering over you, every muscle tense, straining with the desire that he had tried so hard to ignore. gojo just couldn't think about anything else.

and your lips broke apart only briefly, and you let out a soft laugh, that damn, dangerous laugh of yours. "you're greedy, you know that."

his chest heaved, and his heart pounded in his ears, and blood was now pounding to his nether regions. he wasn’t sure if it was the previous anger or the ache between his ribs, but he couldn’t stop himself as he threaded his fingers through your soft hair, "i am greedy. greedy for you. only you - mmph! shit!"

you had run your long, painted nails (with the little painted charms on the end) down his neck before pressing them, hard enough to cause a sharp sting.

"you wanted to put me through hell," he whispered harshly, and his lips brushed against your ear as he spoke, "until i realised i liked it. until i realised i wanted you, all of you."

his hands moved down to your waist, squeezing gently as his lips found the tender spot beneath your ear, trailing kisses there, letting his teeth sink in, to see small bruises appear. gojo's breath was ragged as he fought to keep control, and something deeper inside of him roared with the need to claim you completely.

"you’re mine," he growled against your skin, the words hot and possessive. "i don't care what happens. you’re mine now."

you tilted your head, still smiling, but this time there was something different in your eyes — something that burned with the same intensity. "if i'm yours, what are you going to do about it? hmm, satoru?"

and that final thread, that last remnant of honour that he had been nurturing and holding onto, snapped.

"is this what you want, princess?" he draws out the nickname, letting it roll off his tongue, as you suddenly inhale sharply. his hands are all over you now, large hands exploring and kneading at your torso, and before he can even let you blink, they're under your top.

he's pressing his hot mouth to your sternum, wet and open-mouthed, and he wonders what sort of effect you have on him. what force in the world leave him panting like this, desparate as his hands find their way behind your back, to unclip whatever's holding your tits in place — just so he can reach back and run his palms over your hard nipples, flicking them and rolling them in between his fingers.

and faintly, in the back of his mind, he's aware that his reversed cursed technique must be working overtime, because suddenly you're rolling forward into him with no care in the world for your previously injured shoulder, as your own hands trail down the front of body, right over his bulge.

but he slaps your hand away, pressing you flat against the mattress, "fuck, not yet. you think i'm just going to let you get away with all this," and as you mewl a soft yes, followed by a please, he rolls his eyes, "wait. behave and i'll give you what you want."

and then, softer, "need to make sure you're ready first."

his arms are caging both sides of your head, and he's got one hand on the headboard (although, you will marvel at the burnt imprint that he's left, later) and the other is tearing your top off, just so he can lean down and let his canines press into the soft fat of your chest, so he can slip a pointed nipple into his mouth and tug it, ever so gently.

but gojo needs to continue lower, and his hand squeezes at the waistband of your short skirt, snapping the elastic twice as you heave your bare chest, "please, please, satoru!"

it's heaven down here for him, and gojo's dizzy at how outstandingly wet you are, with just a single swipe of his fingers in the soft, damp fabric of your underwear.

your clear, sticky arousal clung to his fingers, stretching in thin, glistening threads as he spread your thighs apart, knocking your knees to either side so he could slot himself in between them. your slick shimmered slightly under the light, translucent and tacky and he just couldn't help himself, bringing them up to his mouth to slowly taste.

"shit, princess. you taste so good, can't believe this is what i've been missing out on."

he's playing an instrument, he thinks. gliding his fingers along sodden folds, twirling his index finger past a thick wad of skin and pressing right over your clit in hot, tight circles that have you bucking your hips, "hnngh, right - ah, right there 'toru!"

'toru.

as a reward, he plunges his middle finger straight into your gaping heat, your tight wall of ringed muscles that had been fluttering in light pulses for his attention. fuck, he almost reaches his own climax by feeling how you squirm and writhe, moan and mewl as he starts pushing his finger in, and then out.

in, and then out. in, once more. and out, again. and then, another finger.

his fingers sank into your soft, damp pussy — which yielded easily enough with a soft pssh! as the digits pressed in. gojo pulled his hand back out from your thighs, enjoying the tight resistance and suction as your cunt has resisted being empty once more, leaving a cool moistness on his skin.

but now your hands gently cup his face, and he isn't sure how to not crumble with how you look at him, eyes wide and glossy, "wan' more, want your cock, 'toru."

now, gojo feels as though he's truly ascended, gone onto some higher plane of existence. because how can he resist when your hands are weakly pawing at his belt, at his waistband and he's letting you pull his thick shaft out.

it's hot, and already weeping angry tears of pre-cum, and he just loves how your eyes widen at the sheer size and girth.

"yeah, princess was sooo brave earlier, wasn't she? wanted my cock, ah! shit - did she?" and he's letting the wide tip lay heavy against your clit, knocking it once, and then twice, through your heavenly folds.

you've reached a leg up, and around his waist, pulling him closer and gojo has to pierce his lip with his teeth to not let out a gutteral groan from his cock sliding through the your folds, "i don't - don't care, i really don't fucking care if it's too big. just put it in now, m' so wet, i'm wet enough."

your babble is endearing, and he marvels at how easily he has you cock-drunk without even being in you right now. he jostles further, until the tip is right at your flittering entrance, pressing forward and slipping through the heated, slick gummy texture in a way that has the strongest's head spinning.

"easy, princess. oh fuck, you're too tight. way too tight, i'm gonna -" and gojo inhales, steadying himself, as the wet heat enveloped him as he moved, each slide through the soft walls of your pussy leaving him acutely aware of every inch, the warmth coating him further until your slick was dampening the white, stray hairs of his groin.

he pulls your lips close again, one hand coming up to gently cradle your head, and his fingers weaving slowly through your hair.

"you're so deep in me, 'toru! so - hnngh," and your words are cut off by a staccato thrust of his hips, and your teeth clack around a moan that gojo gladly swallows.

"hey, i'm right here. i've got you, yeah? got you so good, just hold onto me."

and he keeps a steady pace, plunging into molten silk, with a sensation so intense and so enveloping that it left him breathless, with a rush of heat that made his head spin.

he's toying with your tits, pressing his face into the shadow that lies between your mounds, and gojo's certain that he could die a happy man like this, exactly like this.

he realises that the faint laugh is coming from him, so distant is he in his pussy-drunk reverie, that he realises he must look and sound like a madman, "pretty pussy is so tight, so fucking tight. haah, i think i'm gonna have to fill you up, gorgeous?" and he must be blathering, "want me to fill you up? shit- want me to stuff... ah! stuff you so full of cum that we just hafta stay in this bed all day then?"

he had his fingers now moving in circles over your throbbing clit, exerting a gentle pressure that had you so beautifully keening and bucking your hips up, jolting right into his pelvis. and gojo bit back as a groan as his heavy balls started to smack, and smack! over and over again, right onto your dampened skin.

"she must be close right, pretty little pussy must be almost tired now," and gojo's now slapping your clit, lifting three fingers up and bringing them down with enough force to not harm you, but make you jolt, "she. must. be. so. close." and each word is punctuated by the slippery spank of his fingers bouncing right off your mound.

"makes me want to have you - you and her," and gojo's revelling in the slick of your pussy, now throwing his head back without shame.

and when your walls start to flutter, when you start writhing in his grasp, pressed right against his chest with your legs knocked back as far as they reach on other side of his broad frame, he feels himself unravel. feels the rhythmic quake of your tight cunt literally milk him dry, letting pools of thick, white seed plug within you, and he almost shakes and tears up himself, at the idea of claiming you like this.

later, he has you resting against his chest and the knot in his chest, that nasty plague that sent him afoul has disappeared, and gojo feels as though he's about to start purring, from the feeling of your nails trailing little shapes over his skin (little hearts, perhaps?) and how soft your hair feels under his own hands. he can't resist himself from pressing his lips softly to your forehead, "happy?"

you laugh, a genuine, soft sound that erupts from your chest as you press your bare body into him, "you have no idea."

[luxthestrange]

MASHLE Incorrect quotes#19...Dark Past

Magicless You sitting in a meeting with the rest of the visionaries when your favorite assistant comes in with a device

008*Holding a phone for you*Mx.L/n Your ex the "That clingy, rich asshole" is on the phone! Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you! Pardon my language but sounds a little DTF-y...

The Divine Visionaire at the table turns around looking at you in shock, and outburst of "YOU DATED SOMEONE!?" threw out as you roll your eyes knowing...he finally found you again

Magicless!Y/n*Throws his cup of water on the floor* Oh, GODS, it was one time! *crosses arms* If I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, Humanity woulda perished already!

Kaldo*stares in stunned silence* ...You what?

Magicless!Y/n*Grabs the phone excusing yourself as you answer the call with a faked smile as you grind your teeth*...What?

Innocent*On the other line*"Our sons miss you~...and I see you found our long lost youngest~"*Starts going on about his plans again*

Magicless!Y/n*Growls and rolls eyes,Blocking the mic*....oh god fuckin' dammit-

The Divine Visionaries:...

...It was so good that humanity's demise was postponed...should there be more of Ex-Zero with Magicless Y/n?....

[werewolfsmile]

The Eliot Spencer Details Masterpost

I have been recording details about our beloved Eliot Spencer on my latest watch through. And now, it's finally time to reveal the details!! If I have gotten any details INCORRECT, I beg of you to correct me, at which time, this post will be updated and credit given. (Note: S1 was aired out of chronological order. I am going by chronological episode numbers - aka the correct order - and providing the episode titles as well to minimise confusion.) !! This post contains details from Leverage: Redemption! Read the episode references carefully if you are wanting to avoid certain spoilers !!

Shirtless Moments

S1 E7 The Two-Horse Job: The flashback scene when Aimee asks Eliot what his excuse was for not coming back to her, we see him being dragged/tortured, shirtless. "Tell us what you did with the monkey!"

S2 E2 The Tap-Out Job: Eliot is shirtless for the fight match.

S4 E9 The Cross My Heart Job: Ehh he's not completely shirtless here but whatever. At about 16 mins in, Eliot and Parker are getting changed together, Eliot strips to a singlet then throws his shirt at me the camera. (I didn't include other scenes of Eliot in a singlet here because in this scene he's actively undressing, whereas in others he's not.)

Necklaces

The earliest sighting of his guitar pick necklace is S1 E2 The Homecoming Job. It continues to pop up frequently in episodes, though noticeably less in S1. I thought about recording every occurrence of it here but ... lmao it's in legit waaayyyy too many episodes for me to bother.

S2 E10 The Runway Job: Honourable mention of the necklaces Eliot wears with his fashion week outfit. The longer one is kinda dogtag-esque, the shorter one is ... I think it's a fleur de lis? He also wears a range of chain necklaces later in this episode.

S4 E18 The Last Dam Job: Bird pendant (possibly kingfisher) visible at 34 mins 39 seconds. Full credits to @wolves-in-the-world for this one including the time stamp! You can check out their reblog of this post with more details here!

Dammit Hardison

S1 E13 The Second David Job: The FIRST INSTANCE of dammit Hardison in the entire show! Said upon discovering each other in the gallery, around 4 mins 15 seconds.

S2 E1 The Beantown Bailout Job: Said around 22 mins 30 seconds, immediately following, "What are the odds that Eliot's crotch will actually explode?" Iconic.

S2 E6 The Top Hat Job: When setting up for the magic show and discovering the rabbit missing, roughly 19 mins 45 seconds.

S3 E3 The Inside Job: Running from security, around 31 mins 30 seconds.

S3 E4 The Scheherazade Job: Trying to enter McRory's at the same time, around 1 min 30 seconds.

S3 E5 The Double Blind Job: This is an honourable mention because this time NATE is the one to say dammit Hardison! 9 mins 15 seconds.

S3 E6 The Studio Job: Upon discovering the master tape isn't in the case, roughly 32 mins.

S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Eliot and Hardison running in the woods for their lives, arguing as always. This one is a bonus 'dammit' because Hardison says it straight back to Eliot after Eliot yells it at him! Around 21 mins.

S3 E12 The King George Job: Discussing Hardison's forgery work, followed by Eliot regretting touching anything. Around 23 mins 55 seconds.

S3 E13 The Morning After Job: Pretending to be cops and accidentally ending up with a prisoner to take back to jail, around 16 mins 20 seconds.

S3 E14 The Ho Ho Ho Job: Honourable mention of Chaos mocking Eliot by saying dammit Hardison. Roughly 21 mins 15 seconds.

(phew, S3 was rough on Hardison! given what Eliot was going through with the whole Moreau thing.... ooh that's delicious angst)

S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Honourable mention for Sophie saying it this time! While playing the role that was meant for Eliot, around 24 mins.

S4 E6 The Carnival Job: Mixing chemicals for a distraction, roughly 25 mins 30 seconds.

S4 E17 The Radio Job: Hardison running away from being thrown off a high floor, around 5 mins.

S4 E18 The Last Dam Job: Sneaking around at the Bellington Dam, roughly 13 mins 35 seconds.

S5 E1 The (Very) Big Bird Job: 'Accidentally' putting a brew pub menu in front of Eliot, around 10 mins 20 seconds.

S5 E15 The Long Goodbye Job: Emotional scene that we do not speak about, around 12 mins 40 seconds.

RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: After knocking Harry out and asking Hardison to help carry Harry, and Hardison refuses. 11 mins 40 seconds.

RS1 E2 The Panamanian Monkey Job: Upon discovering that security is headed to the vault where Parker is, and the only way down there is through the vents. Around 34 mins 10 seconds.

RS2 E1 The Debutante Job: We get 3! In this whole episode! Probably to make up for Hardison being gone for most of Redemption. Anyway! First one when Eliot and Hardison are in Ralphie Roy's place and Hardison has no idea who Ralphie is, around 23 mins 15 seconds. Second is when they're breaking into the elevator and Hardison won't help fight or move the unconscious guards, roughly 37 mins 40 seconds. And third, after the job when Parker says that Hardison was the one who took out all the guards. Around 45 mins 10 seconds.

RS2 E3 The Tournament Job: Right at the start after Eliot says gaming isn't a sport and Parker texts Hardison, so Hardison starts blowing up Eliot's phone. Lmao. Around 4 mins 20 seconds.

RS2 E4 The Date Night Job: After realising Breanna stole his truck, Eliot says dammit, then aims it at a grinning Hardison, since Breanna is already running away. Around 46 mins 50 seconds.

Dammit Parker

S1 E4 The Snow Job: Parker jumps out of a second floor window, Eliot catches her. 15 mins. (Parker gets a dammit from Eliot before Hardison does!!)

S3 E8 The Boost Job: Parker driving erratically, Eliot thrown around in back seat. (Technically there's a pause between dammit and Parker but I'm still including it) 35 min 35 seconds.

S5 E12 The White Rabbit Job: Searching the mark's house, Parker wants to steal a shirt. Again, this isn't technically a proper dammit Parker, as Eliot instead says, "Put it back! Dammit." But I'm still including it because it was aimed at her. 21 mins 20 seconds.

RS1 E9 The Bucket Job: Parker is pretending to be a hacker heavily modelled off Hardison. Not a proper dammit Parker as, again, Eliot only mutters "dammit" under his breath, but still counts to me. Just after 18 mins.

RS1 E10 The Unwellness Job: At end of episode, after Parker admits that she didn't even learn Eliot's name till after the team broke up the first time. 44 mins 30 seconds.

RS1 E13 The Hurricane Job: After washing up on shore and entering the Beacon Inn, Parker and Eliot are bickering about Maria. He doesn't strictly say dammit Parker but there's absolutely no doubt who he's directing the dammits towards. 3 mins 30 seconds.

RS2 E6 The Fractured Job: When farewelling Billy and Parker says next time she'll finish telling him about the robot bodies. Again, it's just dammit not dammit Parker but it's close enough. 41 mins.

RS2 E8 The Turkish Prisoner Job: Another standalone dammit that is most definitely aimed at Parker! When breaking Romero out, Parker says she's a firefighter (with far too much glee), around 14 mins 30 seconds.

RS2 E10 The Work Study Job: A full dammit Parker this time! When Parker reveals that it's super easy to steal from a university and produces a whole bunch of stuff, roughly 22 mins 40 seconds.

Very Distinctive Moments

S1 E2 The Homecoming Job: Eliot ID's the weapon from the gunshots, around 8 mins. Later, he ID's a guy off his knife fighting style, around 18 mins 50 seconds.

S2 E6 The Top Hat Job: ID's a CIA guy from his stance, roughly 7 mins 45 seconds.

S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: ID's the smell of peppermint on Hardison's breath, around 21 mins.

S3 E12 The King George Job: ID's former British paratroopers by their haircuts, 30 mins 10 seconds.

S4 E1 The Long Way Down Job: ID's a former spetsnaz guy by his footprint, 13 mins 45 seconds.

S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Honourable mention of Eliot ID'ing ex-military personnel by their stances, he just doesn't say very distinctive. 18 mins 50 seconds.

S4 E11 The Experimental Job: Honourable mention of Eliot ID'ing a helicopter by the whumpa-whumpa (there's 7 of them did you know). Around 7 mins.

S5 E3 The First Contact Job: ID's military satellite transmission by the static, 7 mins 20 seconds.

S5 E9 The Rundown Job: ID's a Navy Seal who enlisted between '90-'95 by his watch, around 16 mins.

RS1 E2 The Panamanian Monkey Job: ID's a drone (Breanna's) from the sound. 11 mins 50 seconds.

RS1 E3 The Rollin' On The River Job: ID's Russian mob by the tattoos, 36 mins 30 seconds.

RS1 E7 The Double-Edged Sword Job: Honourable mention for Maria ID'ing the way Eliot disarmed her gun, 7 mins 50 seconds.

RS2 E4 The Date Night Job: Eliot ID's a guy as not having a distinctive anything - which is what is so distinctive. 20 mins 40 seconds.

RS2 E13 The Crowning Achievement Job: ID's MI6 off their search pattern, 6 mins 50 seconds.

Known Family

S1 E6 The Miracle Job: When discussing Bibletopia, Eliot says his nephew would like it. This is the ONLY mention of a nephew in the entire show, Redemption included; nor is there any direct mention of a sibling beyond this (which leads me to believe that this nephew is actually the son of a close friend/cousin/military buddy, rather than a direct family relation, but that's just my headcanon).

S2 E3 The Order 23 Job: When talking to the abused boy, Randy, Eliot says he has an uncle named Randy.

S5 E11 The Low Low Price Job: Eliot's dad owned a hardware store and he wanted Eliot to take over one day. But Eliot wanted to get out of that small town, so he joined the service. Fought with his dad the night before he left and hasn't been back since. He goes back at the end of this episode and knocks - but his dad never answers the door 😭

RS1 E9 The Bucket Job: While interrogating/torturing Eliot with Red Haze, Bligh says that Eliot's dad's friend from Vietnam has invited Eliot to join them for Christmas. At the end of the episode, Eliot goes to join them for dinner, only to get a message from 'J' that his dad was a no show. This 'J' is widely accepted as Eliot's unknown sibling but that is incorrect! 'J' is Eliot's dad's buddy from Vietnam!

RS2 E6 The Fractured Job: The ultimate Eliot family backstory episode!! (if you haven't seen it yet and don't want spoilers, skip this one!) Eliot was adopted by a black couple, Billy and an unnamed woman, after being abandoned/surrendered at a hospital as a baby. His father was a war hero who got none of the glory and sustained a wound, ruining his civilian career path, so Billy never wanted Eliot to follow in his footsteps. Eliot loved the stories of his dad in the military so joined up to be like him. His mother died while Eliot was on an op and he couldn't get leave to come back for the funeral, deepening the rift between him and Billy. Ultimately, they reconcile, (Eliot says his dad was always a hero to him, Billy say's he's proud of Eliot, they hug), and I cry every time 😭❤️ [Edit: Eliot being a baby at the time of being found at the hospital and consequently brought home by his adopted mother is unconfirmed and my presumption. We have no clear info on his age at adoption. Thanks to @nival-kenival for picking that up!]

Phrases: Ain't

S1 E4 The Snow Job: Said to Nate, right before Nate tells him to go skip some rope.

S1 E9 The Stork Job: Says it twice while conning Irina.

S1 E10 The Juror #6 Job: Upon being told to go help Parker instead of watching a sports game, Eliot takes his beer back.

S2 E2 The Tap-Out Job: Discussing the fights the mark runs, says they ain't the UFC.

S2 E3 The Order 23 Job: Said right before threatening to throw Randy's abusive father over the railing of a stairwell.

S2 E4 The Fairy Godparents Job: Upon spotting a hitman sent to kill McSweeten and Taggart.

S2 E8 The Ice Man Job: After hearing Hardison call himself the Ice Man, says he won't bail him out when things go wrong.

S2 E9 The Lost Heir Job: While trying to get Parker to the court room and end up cut off by the police.

S2 E11 The Bottle Job: When Hardison wants help to clean up Nate's apartment and Eliot refuses.

S2 E14 The Three Strikes Job: When Nate says to meet outside the ballpark but Eliot refuses because now he's sucked into the sport.

S3 E3 The Inside Job: Twice while arguing with Hardison about how to rescue Parker, once when Parker offers him a lift down the stairwell with her on her harness rig and he refuses. This is the most he says ain't in a single episode!

S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Once when the militia try to make him kneel, later when the militia kid catches him and Hardison near the train tracks.

S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: When Sophie changes her story to mock Eliot's accent and mannerisms.

S3 E15 The Big Bang Job: When confronting Moreau with Hardison.

S4 E1 The Long Way Down Job: Upon arriving at the base camp and complaining to Nate.

S4 E7 The Grave Danger Job: When looking for a buried Hardison and hearing the sprinklers.

S4 E10 The Queen's Gambit Job: At the end, swearing revenge on Sterling.

S4 E12 The Office Job: Arguing with Hardison about Eliot's sandwich while searching the warehouse.

S4 E13 The Girls' Night Out Job: When trying to convince Nate to socialise at the very start.

S4 E14 The Boys' Night Out Job: Exactly the same as the previous episode, so this one barely counts.

S4 E17 The Radio Job: In the patent office, when trying to figure out who lured Nate into this situation. The same scene is used later as a flashback.

S4 E18 The Last Dam Job: Warning Nate of the consequences of taking a life with your own hands.

S5 E2 The Blue Line Job: When ambushed by Marko when leaving the ice rink.

S5 E9 The Rundown Job: Once when going to wring information on the hit out of Riley, once when Hardison steps on the trigger plate of the claymore.

S5 E13 The Corkscrew Job: First time talking to Betty about how Leonard's a jerk.

RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: Twice when ambushed by RIZ thugs in the warehouse.

RS1 E2 The Panamanian Monkey Job: Once when discussing Ryan Corbett at the start, once when refusing to let Hardison have a turn with the diamond-tipped drill.

RS1 E3 The Rollin' On The River Job: When warning Breanna to be certain of her calculations for how to get him and Parker out of the casino's vault.

RS1 E8 The Mastermind Job: Once when discussing hiring people to overthrow a government, once when discussing how they're going to do like 6 things at once, including saving Harry.

RS1 E9 The Bucket Job: Said twice while talking with Blanche, after Blanche helped rescue Eliot from RIZ.

RS1 E14 The Great Train Job: While digging through the tainted soil with Harry.

RS2 E1 The Debutante Job: When trying to get to Volkov's plane with Parker and seeing that two guards are in the way.

RS2 E5 The Walk In The Woods Job: Talking to Paul after rescuing Harry, who was pretending to be Eliot.

Fun fact: for every ain't that Eliot says, Hardison says at least two more. And that's too many for me to bother recording!

Phrases: Y'all

Never. Not even once.

Hardison, on the other hand, says y'all all the damn time - every season, multiple times, sometimes even multiple times in the same episode.

Honourable mention for Chaos saying y'all as an incorrect mockery of Eliot's accent in S3 E14 The Ho Ho Ho Job.

... Okay, okay! So Eliot says it a few times in Redemption! But only in ONE episode!

RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: Said 4 times when playing a character and convincing people to clear out of the auction house.

That's it.

Aliases

These are all the names that Eliot's gone by or used on cons that I could find, not just full blown aliases.

S1 E1 The Nigerian Job: Detective Lieutenant Carden (the scene with this alias was cut from a lot of versions of this episode)

S1 E4 The Snow Job: Vince Fetkey, Hans Von Schwesterkrank

S1 E7 The Two-Horse Job: Brad Mackie

S1 E9 The Stork Job: Dale

S1 E12 The First David Job: Professor Sinclair

S1 E13 The Second David Job: Professor/Dr Adam Sinclair

S2 E2 The Tap-Out Job: Kid Jones (on the fight match poster)

S2 E4 The Fairy Godparents Job: Coach Brewer

S2 E5 The Three Days Of The Hunter Job: Earl

S2 E9 The Lost Heir Job: Officer Hilts

S2 E10 The Runway Job: Julian

S2 E14 The Three Strikes Job: Roy Chappell

S3 E1 The Jailhouse Job: Dr Abernathy

S3 E2 The Reunion Job: Lloyd Hickey

S3 E4 The Scheherazade Job: Guy Hamilton

S3 E5 The Double Blind Job: Phil

S3 E6 The Studio Job: Kenneth Crane

S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Agent Quint

S3 E8 The Boost Job: Skeeter

S3 E9 The Three-Card Monte Job: Detective Moffat

S3 E10 The Underground Job: Eric

S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: Dr Wes Abernathy

S3 E16 The San Lorenzo Job: Ray Laroque

S4 E2 The Ten Li'l Grifters Job: Charlie Siringo

S4 E4 The Van Gogh Job: Lieutenant (only granting him this one because CK played him in the flashback)

S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Tom Boonen

S4 E12 The Office Job: Mr Dennis

S4 E14 The Boys' Night Out Job: Luigi

S4 E15 The Lonely Hearts Job: Jackson Cooper

S4 E16 The Gold Job: Tobias Bowden

S4 E17 The Radio Job: Cowboy (*cough* John McClane *cough*)

S5 E2 The Blue Line Job: Jacques "Jack" Labert

S5 E3 The First Contact Job: Willie Riker

S5 E5 The Gimme A K Street Job: Steven Turner

S5 E6 The DB Cooper Job: DB Cooper/Young Steve Reynolds (again, technically not an alias but whatever it's here anyway)

S5 E7 The Real Fake Car Job: Barry McElroy

S5 E11 The Low Low Price Job: Archer

S5 E14 The Toy Job: Carl

Honourable mentions of Eliot being called: "Rambo" by Hardison in S1 E2 The Homecoming Job [thanks @independent-fics for this!]; "Emeril" by Parker in S1 E3 The Wedding Job [thanks @aardvaark for this one!]; "Sparky" by Parker in S1 E10 The Juror #6 Job and by Tara in S2 E15 The Maltese Falcon Job; and "Skippy" by Hardison in S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job.

RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: Will Gallagher

RS1 E6 The Card Game Job: Glenn the Savage

RS1 E7 The Double-Edged Sword: Emmett Milbarge

RS1 E8 The Mastermind Job: Frank Farmer

RS1 E10 The Unwellness Job: Hank

RS1 E12 The Golf Job: Reed Wilkins

RS1 E13 The Hurricane Job: Calvin

RS1 E15 The Muddy Waters Job: Armus Vagra

RS2 E7 The Big Rig Job: Kris

RS2 E8 The Turkish Prisoner Job: Nick O'Brien

RS2 E10 The Work Study Job: New Blood, Caterpillar

Honourable mention of Eliot being called "Skipper" by Hardison in RS1 E16 The Harry Wilson Job.

Known Associates

This is in direct reference to hitters/people from the criminal world that Eliot knew or was aware of prior to the Leverage Team. Quinn is not included in this list due to that distinction (sorry Quinn).

S1 E3 The Wedding Job: The Butcher of Kiev

S2 E7 The Two Live Crew Job: Mikel Dayan

S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: Gutman

S3 E15 The Big Bang Job: Chapman, Damien Moreau

S3 E16 The San Lorenzo Job: Damien Moreau

S4 E4 The Van Gogh Job: Frank, Randall

S4 E6 The Carnival Job: Roper

S5 E4 The French Connection: Rampone

S5 E9 The Rundown Job: Riley

Trivia

S2 E6 The Top Hat Job: Eliot claims he only sleeps 90 minutes a day, and that he cured his claustrophobia as a kid by locking himself in the woodshed behind his house for a couple nights.

S3 E6 The Studio Job: Eliot is nervous to perform in front of an audience, to the point that Parker startles him and she's surprised that she did. Interesting to note that he seems to have no issue playing sport in front of crowds.

S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Eliot says he hates beets.

S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Eliot chews gum. He does this throughout a LOT of episodes across the seasons but I've only noted down this one episode for it.... thanks, past me 🙄 [Edit: thanks @nival-kenival for more info! Another confirmed episode is S1 E2 The Homecoming Job, and S3 E13 The Morning After Job!]

S4 E9 The Cross My Heart Job: Eliot says he fought a guy with a Nerf sword in Damascus, 2002.

S5 E11 The Low Low Price Job: Eliot drives an F-150 to his dad's house in Oklahoma. This is a THIRD vehicle that apparently belongs to Eliot, in addition to the Chevrolet Silverado and Dodge Challenger we see in other episodes. The F-150 is not seen again.

S5 E12 The White Rabbit Job: Eliot has 'special sedatives' aka a little psychotropic he picked up outside of Bogota.

Eliot mostly walks at the back of the group, presumably to be the rear guard and make sure no one falls behind. See ... just about every damn episode for evidence.

RS1 E3 The Rollin' On The River Job: Parker says that Eliot has cut his way out of an ice cave, escaped a gorilla enclosure, and catered a wedding for the mob.

Eliot is seen wearing glasses throughout various episodes. A flashback in S1 E1 The Nigerian Job shows him wearing presumably his own glasses. All other instances of him wearing glasses (that I can think of) are when he takes someone's glasses for a con. It is unconfirmed if Eliot actually needs glasses to correct his eyesight or not, but is a fandom headcanon. In S3 E1 The Jailhouse Job there is an interaction where Nate ribs Eliot for taking so long in a fight, and Eliot says it's because of new glasses. An argument could be made that this means Eliot does require glasses. [Thanks @independent-fics for picking this up - for pretty much all the details pertaining to Eliot's glasses!]

And there you have it! All the details that I've spent the last 3 months collecting!! Now it's time for me to take a good, long break because my brain is fried! 😂

Once again, let me know if you find any errors so I can update the post. Data from Redemption S2 is where I've most likely missed things, since I don't have it on DVD and it's sooo much harder to scrub through streaming footage to find things. When will they release RS2 on DVD I need itttt.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope this post can be a helpful reference for you!

[hotchswifey]

a little bit shy - rafael barba x reader smut

i wrote this like a year ago and never posted it???????? oml i kept thinking it was unfinished but like it’s 2700 words  😭 😭 😭 😭

 anyways i’m not rewriting it or even rereading it so!!! anyways, this is shitty but it’s mine so it’s fine

warnings: shy!reader, smut, vaginal fingering, reader is a virgin (par hand stuff she’s done with rafael), reader owns a bookstore/cafe, written with an age gap in mind (rafael is like ?? 40?? 45??? reader is like 23/24), rafael is a babe and i love him, your honour, also rafael is a brief man and nobody can convince me otherwise, also like the office spoilers ig??? but nothing major, daddy/papi kink, the reader may have a slight humiliation kink (it’s self-projection babes), also the translation is through google so sorry if it is incorrect!

(word count: 2740)

---------------------------------------------------

You sat on the counter of your café, reading one of Stephen King’s books. You had closed up at 19:00 like you did every day (par Sundays where you closed up at 17:00); however, you had stayed behind in your store, deciding that you would leave when the rain cleared up - which, it hadn’t. You looked at the grandfather clock standing up against the wall - quarter past nine. The time had flown by as you were too engrossed in your book to notice the world outside and join the world written on the pages. You sighed as you jumped off the counter, folding the corner of (what was now) your personal copy of Doctor Sleep, realising that the weather would not get better anytime soon. Grabbing your hoodie (while cursing your past self for not bringing a coat to work), you turned off the lights, ensuring the ovens and such were also turned off. You grabbed your keys, preparing for the harsh weather, before stepping outside (albeit reluctantly). The rain hit your face harshly, the wind almost making breathing impossible, as you made your way quickly (or as quick as the wind would let your body move) down the sidewalk. You should have probably just called an Uber as you got to the corner of the street. But, then again, you had money to return to the shop. You halted on the corner, debating it but rejecting the idea. You were already soaking from being outside for a few minutes, so what were another... 20... to your apartment. It took you about ten seconds to go to Rafael’s apartment. You had only been dating for a couple months, but his place was, at most, ten minutes away from your shop, and you were freezing. You rushed down the sidewalk until you got to his building, standing underneath a roof; you quickly texted him with trembling fingers, asking if he could let you in, figuring he wouldn’t hear your voice on the intercom system due to the wind. The door buzzed open within seconds, which you were highly thankful for, and you made your way to the elevator, which you took to the top floor. Rafael answered the door after you knocked, still in his suit (confirming your suspicion that he had not stopped working even now; you were pretty surprised he was even home, as he was usually spending all his free time in his office). His eyes went wide immediately, taking in your wet form. “Hermosa, wha-” he cut himself off (something you didn’t know he was even capable of doing) as he opened the door wider for you to come in. “You’re soaking,” he said as he reached for the zipper of your hoodie. “Really? I hadn’t noticed,” you quipped back as you slapped his hands away, grabbing the zipper to try to pull it down, but you couldn’t quite do it with your trembling hands (which were a dangerously dark red). Rafael grabbed it again, slapping your hands away this time, pulling the zipper down and peeling the fabric off your skin as it stuck to you. “What were you thinking?” he looked down at you sternly, causing you to roll your eyes. “Calm down, I’m fine-” “You’re going to get ill,” he interrupted, taking your phone from you and placing it on the coffee table face down (which seemed to be his way of telling you I’m taking this because you are almost vibrating from how cold you are, not because I’m going to look through your phone, Hermosa). “you need a shower.” “I’m fine!” you argued, and Rafael looked at you with a deadpan look. You stared at each other for about ten seconds before you gave in, mumbling quickly, “Fine.” He walked you towards the bathroom as if you didn’t know where it was and opened the door for you. A quick “thank you” later, and you were peeling off the rest of your clothes before figuring out how to turn on the shower. After about a minute (which felt like an eternity, considering you were feeling hypothermic), you grabbed a towel before heading back out to find Rafael putting your hoodie in a washing basket. “Rafael?” he turned around at that, his eyebrows furrowing - he was cute when he was overly concerned. You suddenly became aware that you were naked and blushed heavily, “How- how do you, um, turn the... shower on?” Once he showed you and left the room, you basked in the water, feeling your previously numb fingers returning to life. You were highly aware of how long you were in the shower, not wanting to waste water or heat or anything. As well as the fact that you couldn’t stop thinking about how you were only one wall away from Rafael - totally naked. You took his (very expensive looking) shampoo and soap, cleaning yourself and your hair, before turning off the shower and leaving. Only then did you realise that you had no clothes - unless you would put on cold, wet ones. You wrapped the same towel around yourself before sheepishly entering the bathroom. Rafael smiled at you from his seat on his couch, his work abandoned on the dining table, his suit jacket on the back of one of the chairs and his tie looser than when he had answered the door, and a glass of scotch in one hand and the tv playing Netflix. “I don’t- um, I- I don’t have any... clothes,” you stuttered, looking down at your feet and fiddling with the towel. “You can borrow one of my shirts,” he said, as if it was the most casual thing ever, like you two always did this. he got up, pausing (in what looked like) the office (which you had convinced him to watch after it came to your knowledge that he had never watched it), and began to pull out a shirt from his drawer in his bedroom, handing it to you, which you thanked him for, still blushing from your current predicament. He went to leave before you spoke again. “I- I don’t have any-” you stopped talking, blushing too much before you could say ‘panties’. “You don’t mind wearing mine, would you? Because, you see, I don’t have any panties,” You blushed at his bluntness but shook your head to say, “No, I don’t mind. When, in actuality, you did mind, but only because the thought made you feel hot. Like everything else had once you had made your way into his apartment. You were naked. And, now, you were going to wear Rafael’s clothes. He left for you to get dressed; you shut the door, making sure it was locked, before you dropped the towel, pulling on his briefs and shirt. His shirt was white, and as you looked in the mirror, you realised that, yes, he could definitely see your nipples through the shirt. You buttoned three buttons before turning around and checking how much of your ass it covered. Thankfully, it fell to your mid-thigh, and even more, it smelt like him. You exited the bedroom, turning to close the door behind you softly to not disturb Rafael’s Netflix. What you didn’t see, with your back turned, was Rafael staring at you (specifically, your ass) and licking his lips. As you turned back around, you saw him sit forward and place his free hand (the one without scotch in it) on his knee - unbeknownst to you, he was trying to hide his growing member. You smiled at him, which he returned, and joined him on the couch, sitting about a foot away. You were right when you thought he was watching the office. He was currently watching Jim fax Dwight messages from future Dwight. You brought your legs up to your chest, sitting back on the couch. I watched as Jan told Michael that the branch was closing. “Would you like a drink, cariño?” he asked, making his way (very quickly, you noticed) behind the couch, as you watched the TV. You looked up at him, smiling, asking him for some coffee. He kissed you on the forehead, causing you to giggle, and then started on your coffee. But you swore as he turned around that he was... hard? Your eyes widened, and your cheeks grew hot as your head flew forward to stare at the TV. A smile grew on your face, and you tried to hide it multiple times, but you just couldn’t; it was... cute. Rafael was unbelievably cute right now - plus, his ears were pink, which made him look... well, adorable. You made sure he couldn’t see your face as you smiled widely, but you realised you were failing when he said; “What’s happening?” “What?” you turned to him, still smiling. “In Scranton,” he said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it was, but you weren’t focused on the TV. You were focused on what was going on behind the kitchen counter he was standing behind. “Oh, right, there,” you said, although you were sure you sounded teasing, which you must have because Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean, ángel?” he asked, coming back to join you on the couch, handing you the coffee. He sat closer to you than you had previously sat next to him, not that you minded - you wanted to sit on his lap, not next to him, but you’d settle for this. “Nothing,” you smirked as you glanced at him - his trousers were still tight. Your eyes went wide momentarily, but it was enough for Rafael to notice. “What?” “What?” you sipped your coffee, covering your smile as you looked at him. he narrowed his eyes at you before putting his arm around you, bringing you into his chest. He put the coffee on the table for you, looking down at you as you turned your head completely to look him in the eye. “You’re hiding something.” “Am I, counsellor?” You moved your legs over him, and he pulled you onto his lap, causing you to yelp and him to chuckle, burying his face in your neck, nipping and kissing at your skin. Your cheeks began to burn again as your smile and teasing attitude disappeared, replaced with whimpers and gripping onto the hem of your (or, rather, his) shirt. You did notice, however, that you weren’t exactly on his lap but on his legs. Which meant he thought you hadn’t noticed his... situation. “What are you hiding, cariño?” he began to kiss further down, kissing at your collarbone. You reached down to palm at his slacks, the office still playing in the background. You heard his breath hitch, and his head flew up to look you in the eye. “What are you hiding, counsellor?” you grinned at him, blinking through your lashes. His ears burned, as well as his cheeks, and he looked pretty shocked, too. However, he quickly recovered. He smirked at you, gripping your wrist, causing you to pout. His lips found yours, and you whimpered into his mouth, causing him to smirk again. “I’m not hiding a thing, cariño,” he said against your mouth, moving your hand back down to his bulge. He hummed against your mouth as you squeezed him lightly. His hand gripped your thigh, the other resting on your cheek as he deepened the kiss. You whined into his lips, putting your hand, not playing with his bulge, on top of the one on your thigh. “Please, Rafael,” you whimpered. His hand on your thigh began to creep up your leg, coming up to the waistband of your briefs before slipping inside. That was new. Sure, you had done things with Raf before, but he was always very... slow. He just wanted to ensure you were completely comfortable with what was happening, but now? Seeing you in his shirt? His fingers teased your entrance momentarily before he gathered your slick and began rubbing at your clit with steady circles. Your hand immediately gripped his wrist, your fingers not even managing to close around his arm. Your back arched, your tits pressed against him, and pathetic whines fell from your lips. His lips were attacking your neck and collarbone, marking you. “Oh, god,” you whimpered out, his fingers beginning to speed up, his other arm wrapped around your waist to keep you against him. Your fingers, the ones not around his arm, gripped his waistcoat. His rubbing sent impulses up and down your body, your vocal cords working on their own accord and your limbs twitching. “Please, oh, god,” his fingers and mouth were the only things you could focus on, and the rest of the world fell away. You were becoming incoherent with your words, that much you were aware of, as you mumbled out, ‘please’s and ‘fuck’s. You were pretty amazed you had stayed coherent for that long, considering that you were usually a mumbling mess of a woman who couldn’t make eye contact or stop blushing when he touched any part of your skin. You brought his face up from your neck, wanting to kiss his scotch-flavoured lips. The passionate kiss did not stop you from whimpering against him or prevent you from moving his hand away from your clit and towards your entrance. "estás tan necesitado, ¿no es así, cariño?" his tone was teasing, though you had no idea what he was saying. You moaned as his fingers edged around your entrance, and you dropped your head into his neck to hide the growing blush, your eyes fluttering shut. Your hips bucked as best they could in the position you were in. You whined when he took his fingers away from you; however, after he had moved you onto his lap (and, therefore, on top of his hard-on), his fingers continued their previous actions. He sunk one finger into your heat, causing your hold on his vest to tighten and your other to clench as you lifted it, trying to decide what to do. Your legs fell wider as Rafael curled his fingers into your sweet spot (and, of course, he knew exactly where that was, despite only having done this a couple of times). “Please, Rafael,” your voice was heavily muffled by the fact that you were pressing your face against his neck. Still, he must have heard you because he added another finger into you, rubbing against your sweet spot with two fingers whilst his palm ground against your clit. “please, papi,” you mumbled out, causing Rafael to stutter in his pleasing ministrations and his cock to twitch. You immediately seized up, your eyes flying open against his neck. However, Rafael’s fingers continued without hesitation, his other hand moving to your ass and squeezing it, pulling you more towards him. He hummed against the side of your head. “Papi, cariño?” your cheeks flushed, the embarrassment of the situation catching up on you. Your hold on his vest tightened, and you were sure you were seconds away from tearing it. You whimpered against his skin, the humiliation only contributing to your impending orgasm. Rafael smirked down at you, loving how you looked, squirming and whimpering on his lap. he loved that you were shy. You were adorable when you were blushing and stumbling over your words whilst you looked everywhere but him. When you called him Papa? he almost groaned aloud. He could feel you pulsing around his fingers, your legs spasming and back arching. Taking his hand away from your ass (and slightly lifting one of his legs to not make you fall), he unbuttoned your shirt, kneading one of your breasts. Your whimpers turned into moans, gradually increasing in volume and frequency. “That’s it, Hermosa, cum on papi’s fingers."

[louloulemons-posts]

Pickle

Eddie X fem!hopper!reader

Summary : You and Eddie had been so careful, so how on earth did you end up with a positive pregnancy test?

Word count : 2.9k

Warnings : Teen pregnancy, pregnancy in general, vomiting, talks of abortion, pregnancy fears, birth, probably incorrect medical talk, sweating, brief mentions of sex, minute angst, MAJOR fluff, dad eddie, use of Y/N, use of petnames, not proofread and wrote at 4am.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

You were fucked. Absolutely fucked. It was normal to sometimes have a late period or even miss it, due to stress, you could be anaemic, things like that happened to a lot of people.

But this was something else. After vomiting a few times you decided you’d rather be safe and just check. With a positive test in hand, you almost screamed and said every foul word that came to mind.

What were you going to do? You’d been so safe, how did this even happen. Sitting down on the closed lid of the toilet you sighed. Ultimately you got keep it or get rid of it.

You were 19 years old, you didn’t know what to do. What would people think? What would Eddie, you ever so sweet boyfriend, think? Your dad? Your sister? Oh god you were going to vomit again.

A sharp knock on the door cut that idea short, “Babe, you okay? You’ve been in there a while?” Eddie spoke to you.

“Uh .. Y-yeah, I’ll just be a minute Eds.”

“Okay babe, hurry though, dinners getting cold.”

Shoving the test into a draw, you ran your hands under some cold water, splashing your face. You were pregnant. And now you had to decide what to do.

Walking out into the lounge you found Eddie stretched out comfortably on the sofa, dressed in a wore metallic tee and some sweats. Pizza boxes lay on the table, you thought you’d have a cosy, stay at home date night.

Sitting next to him, you smiled. “Tuck in babe, it’s so good,” he said, taking another slice of pizza. Taking one for you self, you munched happily, that was until you reached a piece of pepperoni.

You heaved and dropped the food, running to the bathroom, slamming the door behind you. “Baby!” Eddie shouted in alarm, getting up quickly, following you. “Hey you okay?” he asked, carefully rubbing your back, and pulling falling strands of hair back.

“Yeah I’m okay. Sorry Eds.”

“It’s okay, let’s get you in to bed.”

“Just let me brush my teeth first,” he hummed and helped you up off the floor, flushing the toilet whilst you put toothpaste on the brush.

Helping you to bed, Eddie couldn’t help but be concerned, you hadn’t been yourself for a few days now. “I’m going to get you some water and a cold compress for you head, you look flushed. Get some pyjamas on okay?”

“Mhm, okay,” you mumbled to him as he left the room. Your body felt heavy and horrible.. You were so annoyed, you’d be looking forward to this pizza all day, and this little parasite just says no I don’t want that. How fucking rude.

A few minutes later you were lay in bed, under a blanket, eyes closed, trying to keep the nausea at bay. “Hey Sweetheart I’m back.” Eddie came and sat next to you, “Drink some of this.” He passed you the glass of water.

Taking a few slow slips, you felt the cold liquid soothe you straight away. “Rest you head baby,” he said, putting the cold compress on your forehead. “How you feeling?”

“Better now.”

“Good I’m glad.”

“I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

“Might be something to do with this,” you opened your eyes, to see the test in his hand.

“Shit Eds.”

“Hm. I’m assuming that’s what you were doing in the bathroom?” You nodded slowly.

“So um … what are you gonna do?” he asked.

“Well it’s up to both of us.”

“Not really. You’ll be carrying it, you have to deal with stuff like this. It’s up to you babe, no matter what you choose I’ll be right here,” he said softly, brushing your hair off the washcloth.

“I don’t know what to do. We’re basically kids ourselves Eds, we haven’t got a home, I’m only in my second year at college, we don’t have money. God Eddie I don’t know what to do. We were so careful!”

“I know Sweetheart, I know. It’s okay. How about we just think about it for a few days? I’ll call a doctor and get an appointment booked okay, we have time. Sound good.”

“Yeah. Thanks Eds.”

“Don’t need to thank me, this is basically my fault,” he chuckled.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Sat in the doctors office, you leg was bouncing, anxiety filling your veins. Eddie squeezed your hand softly, in a comforting manner. “It’ll be okay Sweetheart, no matter what happens. You got this, and I’ve got you.”

“Y/L/N,” you heard a voice call, standing up you saw a woman on the shorter side, a soft smile on her face, dark hair flecked with grey. “If you’d like to come in,” she said, motioning into the room behind her.

Eddie squeezed your hand again, and the pair of you entered. Shutting the door behind her, she began talking, “So you had a positive pregnancy test?”

“Yes, three days ago.”

“Well okay then, it’s very rare to get a false positive, but we will know for sure today. I’m going to have to run some bloods and a urine sample. Find out how far along you are,” she said softly, obviously noticing you weren’t as thrilled as you assumed most women expecting a child are.

“It’s okay to be worried, both of you. You’re young. Once we find out everything we need to know, I’ll give you some leaflets for different things. For if you decide to carry on with the pregnancy, or go down the other path. Either one is fine and completely your choice.”

The pair of you nodded at her, “Okay so I’ll take your bloods first if that’s okay?” You slid off your jacket and rolled up one of your sleeves, soon enough she had what she needed and was passing you a small bottle.

In the bathroom you sighed, this was really happening. You knew you wanted kids, and kids with Eddie for sure. You just didn’t expect it so soon, and she was right, you had other options. But what if you wanted this kid, you knew this child would be loved.

Even if your dad would be royally pissed off for a while, he’d love the kid. You had Wayne, El, all the kids, Joyce, Nancy, Steve, Robin. And most importantly, you had Eddie, you knew this child would be loved by him. By you.

Maybe love was enough.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Lay on a bed with your shirt pulled up just under your breasts. You inhaled sharply as cold gel was put on your growing bump. “Sorry sweetie,” the nurse chuckled.

Soon enough a small image appeared on screen. Your little pickle, or so Eddie had been calling them as that’s been your main craving for the past 20 weeks.

He smiled softly, squeezing your hand, unable to take his eyes off the screen. “Baby’s looking very good. Nice and healthy. Here is their head,” The nurse said, pointing out little parts of your baby.

“So one of my biggest questions for you today is, would you like to find out what you’re having?” she asked. You and Eddie didn’t really mind, you’d loved them no matter what, but you both knew you were too impatient to wait.

“Yes please.”

“Okay then, let’s see,” moving the probe around your bump. “Ah here we are, they’re very compliant,” she complimented, “Most little ones like to hide away at this point, make it difficult for me to find out.”

You and Eddie let out a laugh at that, this whole experience so far has been incredible. Minus the vomiting and feeling tired. Feeling your baby kick for the first time had been surreal.

“Okay so, you’re having a very happy and healthy baby girl. Congratulations.” You looked at Eddie, his eyes glassy, “Our little pickle is a little lady,” his voice broke.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Eds go, have fun. We both need a night with our friends.”

“Yes I know I know, but you’re just so close to having our pickle. I get worried if you go and pee alone.”

You laughed, “I did realise that.” Running your hands in his curls, you smiled. “We’ll be fine, and if anything happens, I’ll get the girls to call okay?”

“Okay.”

He kissed your bump and then your forehead. “I love you.”

“We love you too.”

Soon enough Eddie had left, and Max, Nancy, Robin and El had appeared. You’d wanted a girly night, kind of like a relaxed baby shower. “I can’t believe I’ll be an auntie soon,” El clapped her hands together.

“You’ll be the best auntie,” you smiled, hand on your very large bump. You were due in a few weeks and boy were you ready. Swollen breast, feet, aching back, stretched skin. You’d forced Eddie to stand and lift your stomach for a good few minutes a few days back just to help your spine.

Your little one had also taken a liking to kicking your bladder. Sitting besides Nancy, you picked at some potato chips, humming at the salty flavour.

“Thank you guys for coming, this feels like the first normal night I’ve had in like … 8 months.”

“Of course, and I brought movies,” Robin said, pulling a selection out of her bag.

“So are you prepared for this little lady making her appearance?” Nancy asked, motioning to your tummy. “I think so. We’ve had the bag packed for like a week, but I don’t think we’ll really know until she’s here.”

“I’m excited. When she’s big enough can I teach her to skate?”

“Course Max, I was hoping you would.” The red head hummed in contentment, pulling a a bowl of popcorn towards you and El.

A lot had changed in the last few months, Hopper and El had moved in with Joyce, leaving the cabin vacant. Bursting into tears when your dad handed you the keys, you blamed it on hormones. It’d be strange living without your dad, sister and Wayne, but they had visited regularly.

The cabin was now your home, you and Eddie painting Els old room a pale purple. A rocking chair, crib, cupboards filled with clothes and toys. Of course she’d spend the first few months in with you and Eddie.

Everyone had been so great, Steve and Jonathan had helped Eddie build the crib. Will painted the walls carefully, making it look beautiful. The other three boys, Mike, Lucas and Dustin had worked together to make a dragon mobile for above their crib.

You’d never felt so much love, Joyce had been around a lot too. Her being one of the few mothers you knew, comforting you when you were stressed and tired and laughing with you when you were happy.

Then there was El, Max, Nancy and Robin. Those girls were your saviours. Constantly keeping you company, making you smile, getting you emergency pickles at 1am.

Your dad surprisingly wasn’t annoyed at all, he was happy for you. He was over the moon, couldn’t wait to be a grandpa. Similarly to Wayne, who of course would also take that title.

And then of course there was your Eddie. He’s been your rock. When you’d cried out of discomfort, or fear or just cried for the sake of crying. When you needed, hugs or massages … or other things …

He’d been perfect. He was always perfect. He was going to be the best dad.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“I’ll be back in a minute ladies, little miss wants me to go to the bathroom again,” you laughed, pushing up from the sofa and waddled to the bathroom.

You couldn’t wait to stop doing that, Eddie teased that you were becoming a duck. Quacking as you walked. Rubbing your stomach softly, you smiled, you couldn’t wait to meet her.

A sharp pain shot through you. “Oh fuck, ow,” you exclaimed. You looked down, that wasn’t pee.

Shit. Your waters had just broke.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Hello, Harrington residence,” Steve spoke.

“It’s Robin, put Eddie on.”

“Munson it’s for you.”

“Hello?”

“It’s Robin.”

“Hey Robs, what’s up?”

“Okay, so like, don’t panic or anything. Y/Ns gone into labour, Nancys driving her to the hospital right now. So you should go there. Like right now.”

“Shit!”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Fuck it hurts,” you cried, clinging on to Eddies hand. “I know baby I know. But guess what, soon it’ll be all over, and you’ll be holding our little baby.”

“I don’t think I can do this Eds, ow,” you screamed as another contraction went through you. “You can. I know you can, you are the strongest girl I know. You can do this.”

“Just a few more pushes and she’ll be here,” a doctor spoke. “Hear that Sweetheart, you’re almost there. Just a few more, you squeeze me okay.”

“Okay,” you cried, gritting your teeth as you pushed again. “There we go, one more push and we’ll have her head!”

“Go on Sweetheart, big push,” Eddie said, kissing your sweaty forehead. You screamed in agony as you pushed again. The room went silent, you body felt numb. Soon a loud wail pierced the silence.

You let out a sob, she was here. Your baby girl was here.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

It was 3am and you were sat with your baby in your arms. 7 pounds exactly. Head already coated with her fathers crazy curls. Beautiful eyes.

She was now clean and wrapped up in her jammies and a blanket. Snoozing away happily, having just finished a feed from you.

After being passed for the nurses she settle quickly on your chest, not fussing much after the initial cries when she first arrived. A soft coo here and there.

The room was dark and quiet, you and Eddie just admiring her. “She’s so perfect,” he spoke softly. “Course she is, she’s ours.”

You’d had a few visitors, Eddie didn’t want to overwhelm you. So Grandpa Hop, Grandpa Wayne, Auntie El and Grandma Joyce had been in. All of them unable to stop smiling at the sight of your little family.

“I think I know what we should call her,” you said. “Hm?” Eddie questioned.

“Well you know how you called her pickle?”

“Babe we can’t call her pickle!” he laughed.

You did so too, shushing her as she whined softly at your chest’s movement. “Pepper.”

“Pepper?”

“Like picked peppers.”

“I love it.”

“Our little pickled pepper,” he smiled, kissing both of your heads softly.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

It’d been the first time you’d been away without your baby girl. It was frightening to say the least, but you and Eds were told by your family that you deserved it.

They’d paid for you to go on a weekend trip to Chicago for a getaway. It was great, you and Eddie went exploring and stayed up late. You caught up on sleep and other activities that had been hard to do whilst an inquisitive two year old was around.

You had to admit though you were both buzzing to see her. However, that excitement would have to wait for the morning, as the traffic had made you arrive after her bedtime.

Walking into your fathers home, Eddie called out quietly, “Hello?”

“Hey you two, did you have a nice time?” Joyce smiled. “It’s was great. Sorry we’re later than expected.”

“It’s fine, she’s been golden. You too deserved the break.” Soon enough Hopper appeared, a sleeping girl on his shoulder.

“Hey dad,” you smiled. He leant forward and kissed your cheek, then turned to Eddie to hand your daughter over.

“Eddie,” he smiled at the curly haired boy, whilst your own baby, with his exact hair snuggled into her dads neck. “I’ve missed her so much,” he laughed.

“She’s staying in our bed tonight, we’ve missed out on two days of cuddles,” you said. The older adults laughed, handing your her bag, and stuffed dragon. You were on your way home.

Placing her down in bed she stretched out on the large surface. She spent most nights in her own room, only joining you if she had a nightmare or there was a storm, or if mom and dad really needed a cuddle. It was one of those nights.

“I loved this weekend, but I’m so glad we’re home,” you spoke to Eddie.

“Me too, we should take her with us next time. She’d love the pizza.”

“She would, shockingly,” you thought back to your pregnancy, and how you couldn’t stomach it, but she loved it.

Similarly, even-though she was still your little pickle, she couldn’t even stand the smell of them. Laying down on the bed, Eddie pull her and you onto his chest.

She hummed, “Daddy?”

“It’s okay my love, mommy and daddy are here. Go to sleep.” She sighed, head resting comfortably over Eddies heart. Her curls tickling his nose.

You kissed him softly. “I love you Eds.”

“I love you Sweetheart.”

The three of you drifted off into a deep slumber, what a perfect little trio you were.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

[askyuuandco]

Twst Incorrect Quotes 19

Malleus: *goes to Lilia* Greetings Father. My brother (Silver) and I have a request for dinner. ^u^ Lilia: *looks up from his newspaper* What is it then? ;:/ Malleus: the representatives have come to a verdict. We would like Five Guys for dinner. UoU Lilia: *puts paper away* Five Guys? What a presumptuous request. ;:> Malleus: We will also take McDonald's as a compensatory selection. :> Lilia: Do you have treasury for your demands? ;:/ Malleus: Are you asking if I have McDonald's money? O_O' Lilia: Perchance. =v= Malleus: Father Please. My brother and I have been eternally faithful to this house. We will use your funds for the Five Guys Campaign. >m< Lilia: I envision you're aware of the leftover soup in the fridge. >_> Malleus: Yes...I am >n>'/// Malleus: Now would be a good time to mention I got an A on my history test. *hands Lilia his test* UvU' Lilia: *reads it* How convenient. Now tell me, When did you receive this A? >v>

Malleus: Last Month. UvU Lilia: A month ago? :0 Lilia: You waited 4 whole weeks to tell me this triumph so you could leverage it for Five Guys? >:0 Lilia: Do you see me as a cattle for you to milk whenever you go thirsty? >:L Malleus: You said we choose what we wanted and this is our decision! >:0

Lilia: Answer the question boy. D:< Lilia: Am I Midas? >:( Lilia: Am I made of gold? >:(

Malleus: Brother shall take out the trash and vacuum all the floors! Father please just hear our cries! ;A; *begging* Lilia: Does your brother object? >_> Malleus: My Brother wanted McDonald's but my ambition has caused him to take arms in the crusade >:3 Lilia: So your both greedy! I have raised WEAKLINGS! >A< Malleus: I AM NO WEAKLING!!! D:< Lilia: Get the soup out of the fridge... =_= Malleus: FATHER YOU LIE!!! YOU PROMISED! ;A; *on his hands and knees pleading* Lilia: Does it look like I give a FUCK?! D:< Lilia: *furious finger points to the fridge* GO GET THE SOUP! >:(

Malleus: *goes back to his and Silver's room* ;m; Silver (16): *wakes up* What did he say? =o= Malleus: we have to eat the soup... Silver: *fully awake* NOOOOOOOOO!!!! ;A;

[terastalungrad]

For about 10 minutes, a number of Pokémon were spelt incorrectly on Bulbapedia's full list. Then they were spelt correctly again.

Here's a full list of the incorrect spellings, along with Pokédex number and correct spelling.

19

Rat

Rattata

29

Nidoran

Nidoran♀

30

Burned

Nidorina

41

Toothed

Zubat

57

First

Primeape

62

Polyurethane

Poliwrath

77

Pony

Ponyta

82

Magneto

Magneton

84

Dodu

Doduo

85

Lactating

Dodrio

86

rope

Seel

89

In

Muk

95

Onyx

Onix

100

voltorb

Voltorb

118

Ploughing

Goldeen

127

think

Pinsir

128

Bulls

Tauros

141

Finally

Kabutops

161

The center

Sentret

162

oven

Furret

163

hoothoot

Hoothoot

169

He croaks

Crobat

178

shut up

Xatu

193

Do not burn

Yanma

203

giraffe

Girafarig

207

Giggles

Gligar

218

Slum

Slugma

219

Load up

Magcargo

226

keep

Mantine

234

stands

Stantler

239

Eleks

Elekid

251

celebrities

Celebi

259

marshtomp

Marshtomp

262

As Mighty

Mightyena

270

Lottery

Lotad

271

Shadow

Lombre

272

Ludiculous

Ludicolo

283

You bastards

Surskit

290

Ninada

Nincada

304

to

Aron

307

Meditate

Meditite

312

My

Minun

313

Vol beat

Volbeat

322

give name

Numel

324

Torcoal

Torkoal

326

Grumpy

Grumpig

329

Vibrata

Vibrava

334

Altars

Altaria

335

All of them

Zangoose

348

armaldo

Armaldo

361

They snore

Snorunt

363

Sphere

Spheal

371

Wagon

Bagon

375

Methane

Metang

378

Royal

Regice

380

Broads

Latias

400

Come on

Bibarel

406

Budow

Budew

407

Rosed

Roserade

408

Cranids

Cranidos

454

Toxic

Toxicroak

461

We heard

Weavile

464

Faster

Rhyperior

467

magmortar

Magmortar

484

Rewards

Palkia

486

Regulates

Regigigas

489

Phion

Phione

498

Bank

Tepig

504

Square

Patrat

509

I purred

Purrloin

511

Grooming

Pansage

512

We are sage

Simisage

314

Sorry

Simisear

525

Bolder

Boldore

529

Drill cage

Drilbur

531

Cloth

Audino

532

Timber

Timburr

537

Seismic rooms

Seismitoad

548

Petyl

Petilil

549

Lilling

Lilligant

551

We are still

Sandile

552

Crocs

Krokorok

553

To the crocodile

Krookodile

566

Arken

Archen

570

Floor

Zorua

588

Karrablas

Karrablast

594

He smiled

Alomamola

595

From Jolti

Joltik

604

Elektross

Eelektross

605

I'll go

Elgyem

606

Let's be

Beheeyem

629

vullaby

Vullaby

654

Braxen

Braixen

675

On the cart

Pangoro

680

Doubling

Doublade

683

He smelled it

Armoatisse

687

The teacher

Malamar

688

Binnacle

Binacle

690

Scrape

Skrelp

696

Tyrant

Tyrunt

697

A tyrant

Tyrantrum

698

Amura

Amaura

699

Aurora

Aurorus

702

Dead

Dedenne

720

Contact

Hoopa

725

Lit

Litten

738

He was quarrelsome

Vikavolt

754

Lurant

Lurantis

757

Salads

Salandit

760

Claim

Bewear

763

Remembrance

Tsareena

771

Bag

Pyukumuku

774

Miniature

Minior

780

Dramp

Drampa

781

Dhelmis

Dhelmise

784

Come on

Kommo-o

785

Sacred Heart

Tapu Koko

786

Holy Flying

Tapu Lele

788

Kill Finn

Tapu Fini

795

Pheromone

Pheromosa

798

Can

Kartana

800

Necrosma

Necrozma

803

Football

Poipole

807

Zero

Zeraora

821

Rook idea

Rookidee

845

They cry

Cramorant

852

Cobpopus

Clobbopus

854

to believe

Sinistea

857

Hat strap

Hattrem

858

The hatters

Hatterene

862

Obstagon

Obstagoon

872

A dream

Snom

880

He dracozoled

Dracozolt

881

He frowned

Arcozolt

886

Draklos

Drakloak

890

Eternal

Eternatus

891

Big

Kubfu

906

Sprigatite

Sprigatito

914

Anyhow

Quaquaval

916

Oncological

Oinkologne

921

Pawmy

Pawmi

923

Paw motor

Pawmot

929

Doll life

Dolliv

930

tree

Arboliva

933

nacl stack

Naclstack

942

Maship

Masschiff

945

Counts

Grafaiai

957

Tinting

Tinkatink

963

Fizen

Finizen

970

Glimmer

Glimmora

973

flaming

Flamigo

976

Come on

Veluza

977

Dose

Dondozo

983

Speaking

Kingambit

986

Brute Beanie

Brute Bonnet

993

Iron Throat

Iron Jugulis

1016

Let me go

Fezandipiti

[newkatzkafe2023]

Wukong Verse incorrect quotes #19 I Asked you to do it🙁

(Y/N): Hey boys I'm home! 🏡😄

(Y/N) come home to find Lmk Wukong and Netflix Wukong sweeping the front porch While Nezha reborn Wukong sat on the side with HIB Wukong

(Lmk Wukong) Welcome home peaches😊

(HIB Wukong & Nezha reborn Wukong) Hey 😐😏

(Netflix Wukong) Hi 👋☺️

(Y/N) Why are guys sweeping I asked Mk Reborn Wukong to do it???🤨��

(Lmk Wukong) Yeah but he told us to do it😅

(Netflix Wukong) Yeah its best not to argue with him😬

(Y/N) MK WUKONG?!?!😠😠😠

(Lmk Wukong) (Y/N) WAIT?!😨😨😨

(Netflix Wukong) SHE HAS A DEATHWISH AGAIN!!!!😰😰😰

(Nezha Reborn Wukong) This should be good😏😏😏

(HIB Wukong) Its moments like these that makes me wonder how is she still alive🤦🤦🤦

(Y/N) stormed inside the house and found MK Reborn Wukong reading a magazine

(Mk Reborn Wukong) Oh Hey your Home😐

(Y/N) I thought I asked you to sweep the front porch today😠

(Mk reborn Wukong)😡are those two slacking off?! I thought told them to-

(Y/N) slammed her fist into the wall next to Wukong's head leaving a dented Crack in the wall

(Y/N)( Staring into his soul) I thought I asked you to do it👁👁☠️☠️☠️

Mk Reborn Wukong never fearing for his immortal life before, found himself sweeping the front porch

(Lmk Wukong & Netflix Wukong) Jaws touching the floor 🫨🫨🫨

(Nezha Reborn Wukong)(Cackling like a Maniac)🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

(HIB Wukong)( Shaking his head in disbelief)🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

(Mk Reborn Wukong)(Sweeping) Not a word from any of you👿👿👿🤬🤬🤬

Feel Free to Reblog😇👍

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Sams incorrect quotes 6.

1.Lunar: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE! Lunar: aggressively throws water bottles Bloodmoon: Uh… what's up with him? Eclispe: He's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us. Lunar: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU! Ruin, crying: It's working.

2.Earth: What state do you live in? Sun: I live in a state of constant anxiety.

3.Eclipse, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Earth: Hey. Ruin: Hi. Lunar: Hello. Moon: Hey! Eclipse: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Bloodmoon: We were out of Doritos.

4.Ruin: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way. Bloodmoon: Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

5.Sun: What's the most efficient way to burn calories? Earth: Exercise more. Bloodmoon: Set yourself on fire! Moon: There are two kinds of people.

6.Moon: Hello Bloodmoon, made anyone cry today? Bloodmoon: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.

7.Ruin: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

8.Eclipse: I'm not doing to well. Earth: What's wrong? Eclipse: I have this headache that comes and goes. Bloodmoon enters the room Eclipse: There it is again.

9.Sun: Is Bloodmoon always like this when they lose? Ruin: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Bloodmoon: You bumped that table and you know it!

10.Ruin: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window. Lunar: …We're on the ground floor. Ruin: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

11.Eclipse: holding a salt packet It’s just a little sodium chloride. Moon: Actually Eclipse , it’s salt. Eclipse : That’s what I said, sodium chloride. Moon: Uh Eclipse, that would be salt. Moon: *takes salt packer from Eclipse * This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

12.Lunar: Good morning. Earth: Good morning. Sun: Good morning. Eclipse: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Bloodmoon : MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

13.Bloodmoon : Hey, can I get a sip of that water? Moon: It’s not water. Bloodmoon: Vodka! I like your sty- Moon: It’s vinegar. Bloodmoon: …What? Moon: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

14.Lunar: Bloodmoon , I am questioning your sanity… Moon: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

15.Bloodmoon: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. Bloodmoon: That's why I own TEN guns. Bloodmoon: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

16.Ruin: Fight me! Bloodmoon, standing behind him and holding a knife: mouths Do not.

17.Bloodmoon: I lost Lunar. Sun: How did you LOSE Lunar?! Bloodmoon: To be fair, he is very small.

18.Eclipse: Everyone synchronise your watches. Lunar: I don't know how to do that. Bloodmoon: I don't wear a watch. Ruin: Time is a construct.

19.Sun: Look guys, I need help. Earth: Love help? Moon: Financial help? Lunar: Emotional help? Bloodmoon: Help moving a body? *Everybody looks at Bloodmoon * Bloodmoon: What?

20.Moon: A mouse! Sun, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from, or I'll stab you. Bloodmoon, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! Earth, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. Ruin, gasping: It's Ratatouille! Eclipse: His name is Remi, dummy. Moon: …I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window… "What is wrong with you people.

[incorrect-riordanverse-quotes]

Blitzen: I knew you two couldn't stay mad at each other! Alex: Oh yeah, we're closer than ever. Alex & Sam: *hold up their hands to show they've been handcuffed to each other* Hearth: [signing] You wanna tell me how this happened? Sam: Well, Magnus thought- Blitzen: Oh man, I wish that boy would stop doing that.

[itwasrealtome]

MAURA ISLES

[If you’d like to be tagged in the upcoming posts, please let me know in the comments or in my dm. It’s free and I don’t bite :) ]

TAGLIST FORM

Buy me a coffee

[Not my gif]

One shots

FEEL THE BEAT : At a charity gala, the new homicide recruit, Y/N Y/L/N, hangs back until Jane pushes her to join Dr.Isles on the dance floor.

YOGI SAYS : Maura introduces her girlfriend to yoga in their home, which may not have been a good idea after all…

HOW TO SAVE A LIFE : What are you willing to sacrifice in order to save the life of someone you care about? Y/N Y/L/N, a paramedic, younger sister of Jane Rizzoli, is willing to sacrifice everything, including her own life.

HEART AND ISLES

Cover

Headcanons

Incorrect Quotes

Andy’s Instagram

Chapter One: For Whom the Bell Tolls

Chapter Two : The Bitter Bit

Chapter Three : There’s no 15 in 19

Chapter Four : Every Second Counts

XXX

Taglist:

@electricboost @womenlovingwomen-imagines @hi-i-1 @emskisworld @sammi1642 @imjai02 @marvelandotheruniversesloveradhd @philocalistwrites @jatrovyknedl @supercorpstan97 @mmmmokdok @hbkpop

[st4r-bby]

never .

movie : scream 6

character(s) : sam carpenter + "romantic" and ethan landry + romantic

pairing : !victim sam x !ghostface reader + !ghostface ethan x !ghostface reader

summary : the reveal, expect sam gets reminded of richie..

contains : cheating, blood, death, ghostface wins, crying, betrayal, knifes, ethan killed quinn and bailey for not going with the plan along with his mom in this au, sam is aged down to 19, loosely follows the plot.

"if there's one more.." sam starts, the ghostfaces are revealing themselves, one known as ethan, there was only one left. "mindy?" sam guesses, but she was incorrect.

the ghostface snatches off their mask, revealing y/n, sam's girlfriend. "y/n..?" sam sounded so heartbroken, y/n winked. "never trust the love interest." is the only thing y/n said to sam before she looked at ethan and kissed him. he kissed back and they pulled away, "we did awesome, didn't we?" he asks, "of course we did."

tara looked at both of them, the two people she trusted other than sam and chad, the two people who almost killed her, with disgust. "why?" tara asks, y/n chuckles, "why? why? your freak sister killed his brother!" y/n points at ethan, "so we're going to kill her, bonus if we kill you too." she winks at tara.

she looks back at sam, tears rolling down her face and her face turning cherry red. "but.. you said his brother died in an accident.." sam slightly whispered. y/n pointed a knife at sam, "no, you sweet dumb thing. he died in the hands of YOU!" she spat, tilting the knife slightly.

"so let us give you the consequences." ethan finishes, smirking. they lay out the whole plan, ethan and y/n saying it felt good killing anika, chad, and everyone else, that they deserved it.

"no one's coming to save you. so, welcome to act three." y/n says, after that him and y/n scattered. tara and sam looked around, trying to find a trace of them, trying to see movement. sam grabs her father's mask and puts it on, along with the cloak.

tara follows sam around like a lost puppy, as y/n waits in the darkness and watches. everyone splits up, tara turning her back towards where y/n was. y/n smiles, walking up behind her while gripping her knife.

y/n was stealthy, her footsteps making no sound. she was like a ghost. y/n likes her victims looking at her before she steals their lives, so she grabs her shoulder, turning her around before stabbing her in her shoulder. tara screams in agony before they both fall backwards. y/n smiles, it being full of malice, y/n raises the knife but tara raises her hand up with defense, y/n brings the knife down making the blade go through tara's hand.

tara screams again, tears streaming down her face, mixed with pain and betrayal. "same scenario from last time huh?" y/n teases, referring to the other year when amber stabbed tara. "best friend stabbing you through your hand? do you get deja vu, tara?" y/n rips the blade out of her, receiving another scream from her.

blood rushes out of tara's hand and her shoulder, she whines in pain and tries to scoot away from y/n, but she grabs her and drags her back to were they were. y/n goes onto to the floor and straddles tara. "how do you wanna die tara?" y/n tilts her head, tara sobs more in response. "i don't recognize you anymore.." tara manages to whimper out, y/n raises the blade before whispering, "love you, tara." and bringing down the knife inside of her chest. tara screams again before taking her last breath after choking on her own blood.

y/n gets off of her and the adrenaline already kicks in. she hears sam screaming from somewhere else, she runs to where she heard it and sees sam fighting ethan. sam stab ethan in his arm and that's enough to anger y/n. y/n walks from behind them and stabs her in the back, literally and metaphorically. sam falls to the ground next to where ethan was sitting, y/n notices he doesn't have his knife, she hands him hers and says, "all yours, babe."

he gets up and grabs the knife with his good hand, he straddles her and kills sam the same exact way she killed richie. he stabbed her 22 times, slit her throat, and even shot her 3 times. they grabbed her dads mask from sams hand and puts it on her. they called the police and said sam and tara went crazy, not one person didn't believe them. happy ending for ghostface this time.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[itsbrittanybiitch]

Incorrect AATC Quotes 19

Brittany: *chokes on something*

Alvin: Jeez, Brittany, don't die on us.

Brittany: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

********************************************************

Jeanette: *slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome* I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.

Brittany: This is light?!

********************************************************

Theodore:: What’s up with Simon? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Alvin: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Theodore: Why?

Alvin: Jeanette smiled at him.

*********************************************************

Eleanor, looking at one of Brittany's selfies: I hate this photo.

Brittany: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly.

Eleanor: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something.

Brittany: Up to kindness!

**********************************************************

Jeanette: *falls down the stairs*

Eleanor: Are you okay?

Brittany: Stop falling down the stairs!

Alvin: How’d the ground taste?

*********************************************************

Simon: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Alvin: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Simon: But you’re always acting stupid?

Alvin: ...

Alvin: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

*********************************************************

Brittany: God, I love Theodore.

Eleanor: Yeah, you fucking better.

********************************************************

Alvin to Brittany at a Christmas party: I'll be under the mistletoe when you start feeling desperate!

*******************************************************

Brittany: This food is too hot... I can't eat it.

Alvin: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

Eleanor: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Simon: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

*******************************************************

Theodore: Croissants: dropped

Eleanor: Road: works ahead

Brittany: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Jeanette: Shavacado: fre

Alvin: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Simon:

Simon: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

[kwaamfan]

GAP the series language notes

i rewatched gap the series lately and noticed some stuff in the subtitles that weren't translated super well or could use a bit more explanation, and i figured i'd share some of it here in case anyone else might be interested:

ep. 1 [2/4] - ได้กัน means to have sex, so it's more like sam is saying family member shouldn't fuck each other

ep. 2 [1/4] 1:20 - sam uses the word ตัว as a second person pronoun to refer to mon for the first time here. ตัว is typically only used for very close friends or your SO, hence why mon asks sam in the second shot "did you just call me ตัว?" i think this is the only time it gets translated to babe in english but sam calls mon ตัว throughout the show. also worth noting that sam uses เรา to refer to herself when she talks to mon (it's usually a plural first person pronoun, some people use it in the singular case with close friends)

ep. 2 [1/4] 9:59 - more literally tee says "and how many times have i told you that (the name) martha is too expensive? jim is enough". tee is alluding to the fact that her name จิ๋ม is also slang for vagina

ep. 2 [1/4] 11:19 - tee is guessing kade played a showgirl. in thailand นางโชว์/showgirls (performers in cabaret) are usually cross dressing men or trans women, which tee doubles down on by using the term กะเทย. while กะเทย now often refers to trans people, historically กะเทย is closer to the term queer and was used as a slur to anyone deemed gay or gender non-conforming. imo this line in thai isn't nearly as rude as the english translation (particularly since many thai ppl would consider tee herself to be กะเทย), she's basically saying kade played a role like the one pictured above to the right

ep. 4 [2/4] 1:29 - the second line, ผีหยุมหัว, is an example of a คำผวน. this is a sort of play on words in thai where the first and last vowels in a phrase are swapped. so when kade says ผีหยุมหัว (literally a hair pulling ghost) she's implying ผัวหยุมหี - a husband touching (his wife's) vagina

ep. 5 [4/4] 2:04 - this is a pun in thai. aunt mhee asks mon if she has a ร้อนใน (canker sore); chin asks if mhee has any medicine for ร้อนตังค์ (money problems)

ep. 6 [2/4] 0:15 - the english translation says sam types girlfriend but this is incorrect, สาว just means girl

ep. 7 [2/4] 1:48 - what jim is really saying is that it's good kade didn't ride a carpet to get there (making a reference to her outfit)

ep. 9 [1/4] 11:33 - mon's parents sit on the floor when sam sits because sam is royalty. in thai culture commoners and those of lower rank are expected to have their head below royalty. these days this level of respect is usually only shown to monks and the king (so if you ever see a photo of a thai king sitting in a chair while everyone else is sitting on the floor, that's why). throughout the show mon's parents show a high level of respect towards sam and her royal title, despite her only being distantly related to the royal family and sam insisting that she doesn't need to be treated like royalty