#incorrect GotG quotes

[angelofthenight]

Quill, through Adam’s earpiece: Ask them something!

Adam: How are you feeling?

You: Fine.

Quill: Something personal!

Adam: At what age did you first get your period?

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

GOTG on Incorrect Quotes ft. my OC! (because why not?)

Nave: If you water water, it grows.

Quill: ...What.

Mantis: She's got a point.

-

Gamora: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?

Quill: No.

Nave: No.

Gamora: Didn't think so.

-

Nave: Good. Thanks, dad.

Rocket: You just called Yondu “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Nave: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Yondu: Do you see me as a father figure, Nave?

Nave: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Quill: Hey! Show your father some respect!

Nave: I didn't call him DAD!

-

Quill: Rocket, you’re in charge!

Nave: Rocket, can we start a fire?

-

Gamora: Nave taught me to think before I act.

Gamora: ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

-

Nave: Hey, are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend.

Quill: Yeah?

Nave: Bitch.

-

Nave: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.

Rocket: All good bro, any time.

Nave: Fuck you.

-

Nave: When I was younger, Quill told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.

Rocket: They are!

Nave: FOR REAL?

Rocket: No! Why did you fall for it again?

-

Drax: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!

Quill: You left me, Rocket, Groot and Nave in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.

Drax: I did that on purpose, try again.

-

Nave, pointing to Quill and Gamora: Distract them! I'll be right back! *leaves*

Drax: Okay!

*five minutes later*

Nave: *returns and sees Quill and Gamora unconscious on the ground* What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out!

Drax: There's just no pleasing you sometimes.

[pixiexdusts-world]

Incorrect quote

Y/n: Peter and I are having a baby.

Rocket: That’s gre-

Y/n, slamming adoption papers on the table: It’s you, sign here.

[guardian-angel12]

Peter: I am my own person.

Peter: I listen to no one.

Peter: I make my own rules.

Peter: What I say goes.

Peter: I am the smartest person in the entire world.

Gamora: Peter, come here for a moment.

Peter: Anything for you!

[incorrectgamora]

*Teen Groot is hanging out with his friends for the weekend*

Gamora: Okay, ground rules for the weekend- do not add to the population and do not subtract from the population. Do not wind up in the hospital, the newspaper, or jail. If you do wind up in jail, establish dominance quickly.

Groot: I am Groot.

[gallifreyriver]

"I'm not sorry for loving you... I'm not sorry. I'm angry and tired and restless and sad I'm stuck in the moments I swore that we had I wish you would chase me Or try to embrace me For once, I wish you would lie and say-"

"I love you"

"...You do?"

"But not in the way that you want me to."

-An exchange between Peter and Gamora in GOTG 3, probably.

(original lyrics from Jorge Rivera-Herrans' Epic the Musical)

[guardianreadersofthegalaxy]

Nebula: [to Drax] Mantis doesn't value you. She thinks you're a dickhead.

Mantis: Just because he's a dickhead doesn't mean I'm not his friend!

Nebula: He may be a dickhead but I'm showing him how to stop being a dickhead.

Drax: Stop agreeing that I'm a dickhead!

[from Peep Show]

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Y/N: *walking into the room while yawning and stretching* Hey, guys. How’s it going?

Rocket: Where the hell have you been?

Y/N: Sleeping… why?

Gamora: Well, you’ve been sleeping these past two days straight, then

Y/N: Wow… I’m going back to sleep

Peter: *walking in and slamming the door* YOU’VE BEEN ASLEEP?!?! FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS?!?!

Peter: *angrily charging at Y/N* I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD

Y/N: OH SHIT-

[romanoffshouse]

Thor: I love you, guys. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

Rocket: We're the best thing to ever happen to you?

Thor: Yes

Rocket: Now I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

[fandomnerd9602]

Rocket: could that douche actually create a perfect society?

Y/N: nah. An imperfect being can’t create perfection. It’s unobtainable

Adam: so a perfect being, like me, could?

Y/N: sorry Warlock. You’re a perfect specimen. There’s a difference.

Cosmo: did you just compliment and insult someone at the same time?

Rocket: that’s an art form im dying to learn! (Laughs)

[angelofthenight]

Adam: I didn’t do it for them. I did it for you, (y/n). I’d kill for you.

Adam, slowly smiling: Please ask me to kill for you.

You, sweating: ...First of all, calm down-

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Peter: My Walkman fell into the ocean and I can't find it!

Rocket: Quill people are dying.

[raccoonscribbles]

Adam: I don’t understand Y/n, is she sad?

Nebula: I don’t know, go ask, stupid.

Adam: Y/n, Nebula says your not sad and that your stupid.

Y/n*crying harder*: Everyone hates me!

[sayangrafayel]

Crow Family Mission pt. 🔋

Kieran: What did they call it again?

Sylus: Anulax batteries

Luke: Harbulary batteries

Sylus: That’s nothing like what I just said??

MC, nods: Harbulary batteries.

[incorrectgamora]

Peter: Dude! I need some advice on how to talk to this girl that I like!

Kraglin: I don’t think I’m going to be able to help you with that one.

Peter: Oh, because you’re gay?

Kraglin: No, I just can’t flirt for shit.

[echos-scomplink]

Peter: Today at 7 am, Y/N poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing

Rocket: I watched Y/N brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm

Drax: The survivability of the terran race never fails to amaze me