#in which how do you like your eggs?
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putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023
#apollo don't fucking touch this one#serious post#not a shitpost#hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day#fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists#i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it.#so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you?#what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown#at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal#i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid#like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies#and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line#probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored#luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap!#watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry#while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent#also eggs are $15
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Penny stardewvalley makes me so sad because she's SO sensitive to, like, basically everything you tell her (telling her that you can't stand children while two children are nearby is a pretty lousy move but -1500 friendship?? being a jerk to other characters' faces typically loses you about 50 points, and if you choose the option labeled "creepy" and ask Leah for a kiss in her 2 heart event she physically hits you and kicks you out of her house but that's only -100 friendshipā¦) and so if you want to befriend her it's a whole lot of lying and tiptoeing around her feelings (2 hearts: George was right but saying that makes her feel bad. 6 hearts: her food sucks but even if you try to be polite about it she feels like a failure; only a bald-faced lie pleases her. 8 hearts: saying you don't want to be tied down with a family loses you a little bit of friendship and she's only happy if you say you want kids) and I can't help but think she's a product of her environment. She lives in a trailer with only her mother, who gets drunk every night and has something of a temper. Penny's like a skittish rescue animal who wonāt even come out from hiding under something unless you leave her lots of treats
#stardew valley#penny sdv#I didn't mention the SECOND opportunity to lose 1500 friendship with her#because I think if you go out of your way to date her and then tell her that you don't like her that way then you deserve it#but yeah she's super volatile#i was upset for a little bit after reading that one post saying the ārightā answer in the 2 heart event is ableist#like nooooo not my favorite farming game :(#except that in the context of several other things in the game it becomes clear that winning someone over#does not always mean doing the right thing#looking directly at how the easiest way to befriend shane and pam is by enabling their alcoholism#which is framed as a harmful thing even if the characters themselves like it#you have to lie to befriend other characters too like with sam dropping his egg#and you can lose a little friendship based on preferences like sebastian asking about what books you like#though to be fair if i saw someone who could potentially be cool and i found out that what they like was stuff im not into id also#lose interest a little#anyway those are all examples spread around on different characters#penny's got it all at once#me post
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(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)
apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this
i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either
are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all
something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)
given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??
are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )
(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#idk if others feel like that too but i cant shake the feeling there was something that either went horribly wrong during development-#-or the entire thing was neglected the whole time which is why its so .. i hesitate to even call it bare bones#...which is WILD given that its the supposed sequel to their best seeling zela game#like wtf where you doing#i get that the pressure can be immense but imo it wasnt that hard to make a sequel to thats better than totk#like i think it was harder to make totk like it is NOW bc it scraps and throws away so many things you could have easily used-#-as sequel material#its all so weird to me#my tin foil hat theory is still that they saw the success of the mario movie and immediately shifted everything to make more movies#bc it made so much money#and a movie is easier to make than a good game#so totk or botw2 at the time got the short end of the stick#which is why everything feels like .. so ... bare bones .. untested .. unfinished .. non sensical...#like an alpha build that got enough visual polish to look like a full game when its still an alpha build at its core#some main ideas like the abilities implemented and the basic map layers#mechanics functioning but untested on how it feels to play#like the sage controls and arrow fusing and ... contradictory game mechanics that dont work together#like the bulding WORKS but its clunky and underused- everything can be cheated so easily you dont even feel good cheating-#-bc it feels like the teacher just allowed you to mark your test with a green circle and you still got an A (or however USA grades work)#despite not even reading the questions- why attempt to solve a puzzle if you can just skip it#and how they tell you to be creative with it yet creativity gets punished and only efficiency is rewarded#which completely undermines the entire thing#...theres so much more you know i have ranted about it all before#ALSO rauru and sonia seemed like a rather newly wed couple to me- not one that had multiple kids that never appear-#since it only mentions rauru ..... if its only his then ... that doesnt explain anything bc zelda needs both sonia and rauru dna#................do sonau leave eggs to incubate somewhere heavenly or sth#watch out the springs where built to hatch rauru eggs bc they need the gods holy blessing bc they are oh so holy to hatch
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Hot take I genuinely hate it when people interpret q!wilbur as being deadbeat on purpose or, worse, outright abusive because thatās very much not his character at all and it feels like an excuse to subtly pressure cc!wilbur into streaming on the server more
#fae.txt#qsmp#idk how else to put it#because like#I think you can validate tallulahās feelings on the matter while also acknowledging that Wilbur loves her a lot and is not purposefully#abandoning her#also itās implied that in lore qwilbur was sent out on tour by the federation as a form of funding#which is why heās the only one able to leave the island#and itās likely that he was forced to do this; abandoning tallulah in the process#also I think itās weird as fuck to be like ādude your minecraft egg fucking hates you and has disowned you as her father because youāre not#playing enough Minecraft on stream you should stream NOWWWWā to cc wilbur#idk#I know this is not super relevant atm since the qsmp is on break but still
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thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way
#probably the thing i am resenting my parents for right now is how good they were at convincing me#not to pursue any career paths other than the ones they laid out#every time i was like hey this seems interesting should i check it out? they would be so quick with the#do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it? to do it for your whole working life?#and obviously 8 yo 12 yo 14 yo 17 yo 18 yo me would get terrified and go no sorry and just not look into anything further#supposedly this is the safe option but everything i do feels meaningless#all of the jobs in this field seem meaningless#the job market in this field right now is dog shit and I'm fighting like hell for positions that just make me sad to think about#but every time i think hey what if i tried another thing#now my brain shuts me down with the do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it#your whole life on it#and the answer is no and it's gonna be no for a long time i bet#don't know if I'll ever find my way out of it#told my roommate's boyfriend about my general dispassion for pretty much everything in life#he asked me if I'm even a person#which feels very true#i feel like this path I've followed if i keep following it#I'm not going to be a person i can be proud of#i know it's really early in my life to say but#idk if it's nature or nurture or my own damn fault but all the ambition has been weaned out of me and I've been getting just surviving#i just wish i got told more you can be whatever you want to be :)#instead of whatever you'll do you'll be good at so do what makes money and push your hobbies to the side you can do them after you retire#your mom likes this and you're good at it so you'll like it too it'll make you money this is the best thing#the other thing is harder and doesn't make as much money don't do that you won't like it that much i bet#when i was younger#maybe I'd be struggling more but I'd be really happy and fulfilled#or maybe this is genuinely the best timeline and eggs who tried to pursue art hates it now#maybe I'd be really stupid at all the other things i gave a passing glance at#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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Bad has so many reasons to be cautious, even paranoid, as anyone else on the island. From Federation nonsense to Dapper being kidnapped to the whole purgatory nonsense to whatever fuckass suit of armor āold friendā was setting up cameras in his house. But it compounds on his regular overly aware paranoid self to this state of hyper-paranoia. And as a demon who can and usually will lie, cheat, steal, and use sneaky underhanded tactics, he expects the craziest extent because he thinks of it, realizes itās possible, and would use it himself. We saw this very obviously in purgatory - when he thought greens desperate last ditch effort to balance the scale was a super planned out tactic to tip the scale, so he did it first, all the hardcore base hunting, the spawn killing, thereās a reason every other tactic he used usually followed a main channel qsmp post with updated rules - all usually things he was surprised no one else thought of. But then this also piles onto the fact that he has to have things go his way, all the time, and that heās argumentative as all get out, which led to the debate between him and Bagi yknow. Especially because heās not just doing it for the sake of being right, he doesnāt think heās paranoid, but that heās exercising the right amount of caution.
So like. Listen dude. Yeah heās got reasons to be paranoid. But his thought process around building vaults for separate cookie caches like they locked up the risus pills, only to scrap it because itās not perfectly impenetrable, is extreme. His character has hardly been a leading example in someone who has reasonable reactions to things. And even when there isnāt his own childrenās livelihoods potentially on the line, he has a need for control, and the most control he has is if he keeps the cookies in his inventory at all times. If he makes himself the sole point in which the others can get ones in a case of emergency, then he can control the variables. The problem is heās unreliable about himself when heās at his most rational and healthiest, and heās far worse with the current memory and health issues heās been mostly unaware of.
I dunno itās like. There is never going to be a purely impenetrable base. And itās not just a case of āBagi just hasnāt lived through __ yet!ā. Badās own logic about keeping the cookies on him at all times is flawed under his own logic, because Bagi is right - if someone has enough drive to break into separate secured cookie caches purely for the downfall of eggs, they more than certainly have enough drive to find a way to kill Bad and just take them from his inventory, or to just kill the eggs themselves. All it truly does is give Bad a sense of control, and soothe his paranoia.
#everyone letās remember rurusā tweet about bad NOT being in the blunt rotation. he would try to pluck cameras out of your eyes. and he will#make it seem like itās the most reasonable thing to do in that moment#now this is more me complaining about shit Iāve been seeing on Twitter in the tags <3 love and peace but Iāve got beef#side note - to say the people who are commenting on qBadās paranoia or this and that are all newcomers who just āwerenāt there to experienc#-the dark timesā or āwerenāt there for the egg deaths/nightmaresā like you are not immune to the way bbh can make something seem so#reasonable#heās got his own reasons to be paranoid. and most everyone agreed that the base idea of a ācookie jarā would need rethinking with security#but to say qBagi (or Jorgeās/other viewers) is shortsighted or naive. when qBad is THE definition of paranoia. of overreacting. like#qBadās reaction extends from a mixture of care hyper paranoia and trauma response (which is half that hyper paranoia)#and he will pick and pick and pick until thereās nothing left to pick at#sometimes this is helpful. a lot of the time itās not#and on the flip side itās like yāall bad cares about the eggs to a ridiculous degree donāt be silly here okay. he does this because he care#even without a memory in his brain he calls them ālittle oneā and is gentle like. he cares#but at the same time this doesnāt always justify his nonsense. his thought processes. heās Uber hyper paranoid and not easy to reason with#heās selfish he can and will jump to extremes heās overly controlling. and heās the worlds most unreliable narrator#Iāve been saying this Iāll keep saying this heās an unreliable narrator! this doesnāt make everything he says or thinks bullshit but you#cannot take what he says to himself how he justifies his actions etc etc in private at face value. unless he is making it EXPLICITLY CLEAR#heās talking from a meta perspective as the creator of his character#you have to take his perspective with a grain of salt. because he will āIām just a little guy and the world is out to get meā his way outta#everything#there is a difference between reasonable caution from learned past experiences and overly anxious paranoid responses#idk Iām running out of steam sorry this is like a second post with the tags#and again I say this as a huge qBbh enjoyer lmao#mcyt#qsmp#q!bbh#q!bagi#z speaks
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Well these colours sure didn't translate well
@prismatic-starstuff @beardedladyqueen
#for info yes the tattoo is supposed to look horribly neon#however the lips are not supposed to look like that. nor the eyes.#What's funny is that my sketches actually look even worse than this thing looks like in-game#like this is mild shit. wait until you see the way i draw her/him#(i think bearded doesn't know this but I like to be funny so dandelion approved of my funny plan that this Inquisitor is#actually trans; s/he just doesn't know it yet. so in the game she uses she/her and thinks she's a cis woman. but like. right after the plot#he goes 'Oh i think that awakened something in me.' which i think is like. incredibly funny. tfw your world saving adventure +#unspeakable violence + weird relationships + 'im probably trans but i have a hero's journey to go through so idc about that rn'#make your egg crack.)#originally i wanted to get a few more shots of how awful the colours look but I'll do that tomorrow because i gotta wake up at 6 am and it's#nearly midnight dhdjdjjs#funnily enough i was taking most of the inspo from vampire bats but the way her/his nose works is actually reminiscent lf#of...more traditional bats. like a vampire bat nose would be upturned. reminiscent of gith noses. a heavily downturned nose#with a bridge inseparable from the forehead is more of a european bats thing
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I wanna make more sense of Petscop just from like. my brain and not looking things up and trying to see what I can form. But I do think it's a really obtuse reading of it to assert that Paul and Care and "Pall" are not the same person. But I'm trying to entertain the thought just to look at it from another angle
#since Paul's last name is Leskowitz and not Mark#I imagine after Anne and Marvin separated she gave her child her maiden name#I do also think the red-and-yellow striped egg is indicative of what a person can potentially become#the red and yellow colors are Paul and Care's respective associated colors#I imagine Tiara and Belle colors are pink and purple like the other egg. I think Tiara's color is pink right?#She's definitely the pink text behind the Tool by the windmill like ... right?#I'm still confused about what exactly happened with Lina's death and the windmill#My initial thoughts were ''it dissapeared'' after the tragedy occurred and went into disrepair#I forget Belle's name's color that's used when they call her that. I thought it was dark blue but it mightve been purple.#I'm confused at how Marvin didn't try to stop Paul physically after he failed the rebirthing song. Which shouldn't have been a problem#This is something he has done before but instead he just left in-game#I think especially the description the egg has of ''? You should start thinking about that''#Where by looking at what this egg is you get your answer. Like well . . . Think about it. It's your you. You should think about that.#Rewatching this I feel as though there's an epilogue I missed or something#It makes me almost want to rewatch all of it AGAIN while it's fresh in my mind to see#I feel like around ep. 14 I get lost but I think this is when the demos start getting reviewed#Paul's name being ''Pall'' in the game is important as caskets are important. What a ''pall'' is to a casket.#IDK. that's my petscop thoughts insofar#I have to remember who's all related to eachother. I know Tiara isn't family so her features aren't in the database
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Been seeing all the discussion about Tubbo being Emās parents andā¦. š¬
Itās like we get a girl egg with all moms and itās now feels like people are saying āshe needs a dad!!ā because a male is treating her like familyā¦
Iām all for Tubbo being family to Empanada but being her dad?? It feels a lot like there are some misogynistic undertones there. Like family is not just parents it can be literally anything, same way Pepito has Foolish being grandma. Tubbo can have the same and be family in some way to Em.
But itās like we have an all girl family but because the egg is interacting with others, people are inserting the males into it(the parent dynamic). Which just reads wrong when a majority of the island is male relationships and prominent male families where the girls are mainly just aunts to the children.
Have your headcannons but donāt try to insert them into the canon with your posts especially when a majority of the server relationships are male prominent.
#qsmp neg#qsmp discourse#just can we not have something for the girls?? also it feels even more weird when you do say that and people say well Tubboās gay anyway-#which how does that have anything to do with it??? like all for being strong family as in tio or smth like that#but pushing the hc of a gay dad in an all girl family feels like it has undertones i dont want to unpack rn#im not going to stop yall from having your headcanons but like take a step back and look at what the situation is and then think#also this literally happened when jaiden and roier were treating tilin and flippa like their children some people werenāt happy but not -#many werenāt watching multiple streams at the time so theyāre wasnāt many complaining but its happened before#also happened a bit when bagi became richas mom#the only difference with those relationships where that the eggs choose and agreeds for them to be their parents#also itās like yes we would love to see her parents log in more but literally they are all busy people and werenāt always incredibly active-#on the server apart from bagi which is smth the admins probably should have thought about if the new eggs were going to be taken care of#yes let em have her family and her lore but also let us have our female mums rep bc there is so little of it in qsmp#but calm down about em lore bc yall think its the most important thing out there when a whole losd of the eggs rarely have lore esp old eggs
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my therapist telling me i'm his point of reference when he deals with other trans patients

#šš it's an honor m'lord#i mean that + the fact that i make sure to always feed him the Most open-minded takes i can incorporate in conversation#like just today he was like ''i wanted to ask you about this i saw there were women growing beards and deciding to keep them''#and i was like. yeah that's a thing ! good for them ! if they're happy that way it's all good !#and he was like ''isn't it kinda weird though like they're really feminine but they have a beard which is usually masculine?''#and i was like hmm! not really ! it's just not something we're used to seeing so it can seem odd at first but it's harmless!#and he went Yeah you're right maybe it just seemed weird to me because it's unusual#and i like mentally went šš¤ got'em. teaching this guy to be okay with other people one topic at a timeeeee#in any case it's just. really cool to know that like... i'm indirectly helping other trans folks ?#at the same time i want to make sure he understands that My personal experience with being trans isn't universal#it's not ''This is how you trans'' like. what's working for me rn may not work for someone else and it's fine#so i always make sure to throw in little reminders that every trans person will want different things for themselves#some will need medical transitions some Won't some will need ''all'' surgeries some Won't some will need them done quickly some Won't#some will feel This way about their egg selves some will feel That way about their egg selves etc#simultaneously Yes please do use your experience working with me to work with other trans people#but No please don't think they are all going to be like me or should do things the way i did them
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where im taking the doctor for a date tbh
#yea we're doing all three in a day no thats not insane thats being honest about the speed at which they live their life#you know that thing about how the speed of your heart determines how fast you experience time?#like mice experience time faster than us and also live shorter?#bc their hearts beat faster than ours?#dont know if thats true but i read it once i think#you know how the doctors hearts sound like. super hyper fast?#anyway i want to spend a day hearing the most bonkers corrections of museum cards and watching them get in fights with museum people#'listen ''mr expert'' i killed the last dodo (turns to me. 'accidentally!' turns back) i Think i'd know what they look like dont you'#'really wasnt my fault. was a little bit my fault. 53 birds one timey wimey detector sort of a situation. shouldnt have brought it honestly#'but you dont step out of your tardis going:#'hm maybe i shouldnt bring my machine that boils eggs at 30 paces in case i run into the last 53 dodos''#'i mean the 17th century wasnt even on the agenda! i was in the 32nd century! two galaxies over! and then suddenly: mauritius'#'dont know what happened'#'well'#'53 exploded dodos. happened.'#'my sincerest apologies'#and i'll go 'lunch?'#or kissing with tongue behind a dinosaur skeleton whichever
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Couldn't sleep so I'm watching my videos and thinking abt Who's Lila again
#thinking abt how the stranger has the king in yellow no mask lome asigned to them by wheeliam iirc#which. to me thats a pretty strsightforward answer#yeah no the stranger is Will's Shadow wrapped up in his trauma and all the fucky ideation that brings#why do people still seem to think theyre some sort of Will/Lila combo?#that being said i love you emily for pointing out trans will lmao#lila voice will you dumb egg go kill your girlfriend and get on hrt#honestly this game is like. a key to understanding my flavour of dream logic its great
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youtube
this is not the exact one I watched but I saw one of these "dish scape" things at someone's house who actually has TV (like they pay for dish/cable instead of just watching stuff online) and I think they're meant to be relaxing atmospheric stuff that you mostly ignore, but I sat there for 35 minutes watching absolutely engrossed.. further proof that I genuinely think my brain is incapable of experiencing boredom lol..
#IT'S BECAUSE there's so many little details that like you can spend minutes just scanning every corner of the image and taking it all in and#you keep finding new things! like 'oh I didn't know that blade of grass moved!' or 'I didnt see that bucket before!'. And then on top of#so many details - some things genuinely do change. The one I saw was a Beach house scene and sometimes a bird would fly by or ONE TIME kite#came out of nowhere. a sandcastle built and unbuilt itself. there's a firepit and it comes on when the sky changes from day to afternoon!!#this is like watching a sports game to me. I need weird detail oriented friends who will sit for 20 minutes staring at a barely moving pict#ure & cheer and clap with me when a seagull flies across the screen ghgj.. THERE HE IS!!!! etc!! and there's just so much to think about!!#Like how the images are layered or animated and the choices that were made (like I think the sunrise and sunset sky background images for t#e beachouse are just the same picture flipped and recolored) and trying to predict what's going to happen next (will the lights in the hous#turn off for night time? will another bird show up??) etc! I even got up at one point to walk close to the screen and get a better view of#hese paintings that were visible through the beachhouse windows. and then thinking about building a similar home in the sims! OR ALSO THIS#WOULD BE SUCH A COOL medium I think to tell a story! Like you upload a video to youtube that is framed just as a completely average moving#screensaver ambiance type of thing. It's like 7 hours long and mostly loops the same still image. However. over time at certain points you#can see some thing happen like watching characters interact through the windows. animals or people walk across the screen. certain elements#in the environment morph or change. etc. In such a way that an entire like plot is conveyed. maybe like fantasy mystery sort of thing. I WI#SH I could do this style of art / had friends who could or had money to pay somebody to. I would LOVE to collaborate on a weird surreal#It's Just Your Average Slowly Looping Moving Screensaver Video I Promise' type story.. jjhhgHH.. Or even just making one of these set in so#me of my fantasy world environments. not as a secret thing with easter eggs that tell a story but just literally an image like this tha#moves over time and etc. HHRRGRGHhhhhGG.. ANYWay!! I had to actually turn it off not because I was bored but because it was distracting me#. which is funny since again. I think for most people it's meant to be a 'just leave it on in the background' type of thing that's bland an#neutral . But it was just making me think too much ghjgh.. This is why I can't go to amusement parks or nightclubs bars or concerts like..#a moving screensaver image is too overstimulating to my brain. Could you imagine me going to an environment just full of sensory informatio#like loud noises poeple talking flashing lights etc. etc. ? hghghb... Visiting a grocery store at a slightly busy hour is like my upper lim#it... Anyway.. everything is just so interesting to me. Even if I was locked in a room alone I would have plenty to think about & amu#se myself. I am also a hater definitely like I'm a very analytical person who is critical of society and systems & everything that exists#and even generally am just very opionated and have distinct preferences - so just because everything is INTERESTING does not mean I LIKE or#enjoy everything or never get tired of/annoyed by situations or ideas or etc. But it's more just like.. I literally dont think I could ever#be bored because of the way my brain works and also I approach life with elements of childlike whimsy and constant obsessive curiosity and#attention to detail. so as much as I am an analytical bore I also love everything and the world is fascinating at all times. lol.. duality#of man. if you get it then you get it. ANYWAY.. wanted to ramble abt it. I don't like the above video as much as the one I actually saw but#I couldn't find the beach one online.. BUt.. aaHH! best viewed whilst talking to yourself narrating/cheering! ALSO I want to make one!!!
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oh yeah uh i forgot to talk about my day. i havent rly been existing as a person whoops. uh
work kinda sucked but not NEARLY as bad as yesterday. honestly yesterday was probably the worst shift ive had in uh. well at least a year im betting. it was really so very bad.
today was better except Whoops my bike broke a little bit. forgot to mention that too. i left it at work overnight in the storage room n im gonna bring it to the bike shop tomorrow. so im gonna be without my bike for a few days </3
uhm. otherwise ive been procrastinating, still not doing my dishes, reading trigun fanfic and rewatching trigun stampede and reading trigun maximum. and also browsing etsy for trigun merch, of which i bought a few things.
now im thinking about skipping class again bc it's accidentally oh so late and i am very tired. i can rationalize it to myself that it's Totally for the sake of finishing my lab tomorrow. but really ive just lost control of this semester and i barely wanna do shit anymore. lol.
#speculation nation#also listened thru the 2nd trigun stampede OST album two whole times#went walking home bc i got no bike rn and i was just meandering down the scenic path#(it's thankfully not flooded anymore. a lil muddy at spots but i managed to avoid it)#saw some deer tracks. crouched by the river for a little bit. all while sipping at a hibiscus tea i brought from work#went home. read embarrassing fanfiction. swore i was gonna do the dishes and then just watched trigun stampede#went looking on etsy. went reading the manga. i swear it's overtaking my entire life.#im trying to be gentle with myself tho. saturday's shift did Not help me with the mental breakdown ive been fending off for weeks#oh yeah and easter. fucking easter. i was neutral/negative leaning but the shop i wanted to go to was closed today#which pushed it solidly in the negative direction. like for fuck's sake this is a fucking witchy shop and they're closed for EASTER?????#i wanted to go buy a tarot deck wtf. and the Spiritual Shop is closed for a Christian Holiday??? okay lmfao#meanwhile we kept having ppl call to ask if we were open today n it was just like 'man this is a bubble tea shop what do you think'#O Lord Bless This Bubble Tea for it was Made In Your Image.............#or some shit like that idfk. like yes we did have a few ppl call off for easter but majority of us are gay and/or Definitely not christian#the handful of us there kept laughing about how little we care about easter. one girl saying she completely forgot about it#and like. man. yea. easter's one of the most pointless ass holidays outside of christianity#at least there's fun in christmas for non christians in the gift giving. easter is just like. there are eggs now???#and this is to celebrate The Lord?????? ok lol#anyways yea my days r happening. i keep skipping class. probably will again. Whoops sorry professor man but im just tryin to survive now
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