#in this literal epic

[marbleheavy]

me every time i remember achilles dragged hector’s body around the walls of troy

[duckysprouts]

ares slays his daughter’s rapist

[witless-winion1]

Telemachus, crying that he finally gets to meet his dad: “For twenty years, I never could outgrow you”

Odysseus, the short king, also crying: son, you are several inches taller then I am

[a-a-lost-munchkin]

I Can’t Help But Wonder

Odysseus, who just violently and mercilessly murdered 108 or so men, who claims in the next song that he’s no longer a kind or gentle man, actively listens to Telemachus and kindly and gently responds to everything his son’s expressed.

Telemachus asks, “Am I like you? Am I strong like you? Will you embrace me? Will you love and accept me as yours?” He says, “I’ve felt so alone.”

And Odysseus claims him in a heartbeat, answering, “My son. My boy. My sweetest joy I’ve ever known. I embraced you twenty years ago. I’d do the impossible for you. I’d die for you.” He says, “Seeing the men here today, I can only wonder what you’ve been through for twenty years. My son, you’re already strong. You’re my own. You’re not alone. I’m home.”

And then they fucking embrace.

[crymeariveronceagain]

Poseidon screaming "Monster" at Odysseus has the same vibe as Victor Frankenstein calling his creature inhuman and disgusting and un-alive. My brother in Christ, you created him.

[saixria]

The sillies

When even Athena the Virgin goddess whose most intimate encounter was stabbing her bff thinks you’re cooked, you’re definitely cooked

[gigizetz]

trick or treat!!!!

UHHH IDK HAVE THIS GUY OR WHATEVER

[shadebloopnik]

Epic crew: Lets travel to Ithaca to livestream the premiere of "How Fucking Difficult it is to get to Ithaca" the Musical! What could go wrong?

[gingermintpepper]

I think, perhaps one of the funniest things to come from EPIC popularising the Odyssey is that now a ton of people think Poseidon wanted to kill Odysseus.

In the Odyssey, Poseidon has no intention of killing Odysseus. In fact, part of the whole reason Zeus lets Poseidon do whatever he wants even though he thinks Odysseus is rad and should get to kiss his wife is explicitly because Poseidon had no intentions of killing Odysseus. Poseidon wanted to pay back the suffering/inconvenience blinding Polyphemus would have caused. It's a really abstract thing tbh. How do you pay back someone permanently disabling your son? Poseidon's solution was just to amputate Odysseus from his other half; i.e. Penelope. The end game was never murder, it was always an endurance race.

(Od. Book 1: Zeus reassuring Athena that he is not, in fact, a part of Odysseus Hater-Nation. Trans. Robert Fagles)

Also, for those wondering if there's any sort of in text reason for why Poseidon wasn't around in God Games - at the time in the Odyssey when Athena petitions Zeus to let Odysseus leave Calypso's island, Poseidon was -checks notes- on vacation in Ethiopia. Yep. He left to Ethiopia for a festival and thusly was very much absent for Athena's whole "please let Ody go? Please? 🥺" request.

(Od. Book 1: While Odysseus was suffering, Poseidon went to party in the east)

I am begging y'all to read the Odyssey. It's a comedy for everyone except Odysseus and Penelope who are, in fact, suffering 24/7 365.

[the-diary-of-a-moody-teenager]

Someone should really draw Ody and Zeus like this as a part of (the amazing) @anniflamma 's manwhore saga 😂

[the-storyteller78]

I fully think Odysseus expects to never see Athena again after he turns down her offer. Yes, it’s clear she’s changed—the Athena he knew would never say something so sentimental—but he’s familiar with her nature. She won’t be back now that he has no use to her.

I also fully think that Athena would absolutely rock back down to Ithaca after a week of letting the family reunite (she’s taking this empathy thing seriously, guys) and just be chilling at the breakfast table in the morning. Just visiting. No biggie.

(This becomes a regular thing.)

[australet789]

JORGE YOU BEAUTIFUL SON OF A BITCH

YOU PUT OLIVE TREE

YOU MADE PENELOPE YELL AT ODYSSEUS

THE BREAK IN HER VOICE

THE HIGH NOTES

IM

ALSDJKLFJALSJGLAGJ

[nixthelapin]

I find this dichotomy so funny:

Odysseus, who has been in war for years and is quick to be crafty and trick his enemies: *laments and mourns giving up mercy and being forced to become the monster*

Telemachus, the one with a reputation of being small and weak with a good heart: *kills a man from behind while they’re distracted without any hesitation or remorse*

[sophiejanefostersilver]

Me when "touch her and ill kill you": well thats problematic

Me when "you ploted to kill my son, you planed to rape my wife, ALL OF YOU are going to die": seem like I dont have an option but to fall in love

[bixels]

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

[sarnai4]

Au. Before the Trojan war when Ares and Ody are asked to try to get along.

(Ares and Ody are sitting awkwardly across from each other.)

Ody: So, Athena asked us to try finding what we have in common.

Ares: We both want this to end. Done. (Stands up)

Ody: Yeah, but I don't think that's what she meant....uh, I love Penelope and you love Aphrodite.

Ares: That's true. (Sits back down) Aphrodite's amazing.

Ody (with a goofy grin): Penelope just has the brightest laugh.

Ares (head in hand): Aphrodite's so smart and pretty.

(Hours later, they're kicking their feet in the air while on their stomachs)

Ody (gleefully): And then this one time, Penelope made this little snort sound!

Ares (gasping): You're kidding! Aphrodite does that too! It's adorable!

Ody: I know right!

(Penelope and Aphrodite are about to enter the room. Athena stops them.)

Athena: Don't do in there. You'll be a distraction.

Penelope (confused): There's so much giggling in that room. We wanted to see what was going on.

Athena:...bonding.

Aphrodite: Between who?

Athena (directing them both away from the room): You wouldn't believe me if I told you.