#in the span of a few seconds
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not me: the series (2021) — episode five.
what do you freaking want from me?!
#not me the series#not me#seanwhite#offgun#off jumpol#gun attaphan#asianlgbtqdramas#userdramas#dailyasiandramas#lextag#thoresque#samblr#userko#this scene. THIS S C E N E#both of their faces were a whole journey. hurt. surprise. anger. confusion. vulnerability. all of it#in the span of a few seconds#white's barely concealed tears (that he wipes away when he leaves) my heart!!!!#thai bl#thai drama#thai series#idk how i made this coloring but i love how it looks on seanwhite scenes#gifs: not me#gifs by kay
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loving women is so funny bc sometimes it's like 'omg she's so pretty do i want her or do i want to BE her' and other times it's like 'i'm going complete feral i need her on levels that are concerning to gay rights'
#sorry i saw back to back edits of renée rapp and billie eilish#and it went from 'holy fuck renée is the most beautiful woman i have ever been blessed to see'#to 'holyf cuk i need billie to fucking strangle me RIGHT NOW'#in the span of a few seconds#my brain cant handle that#GOD I FUCKIGN LOVE WOMEN#I AM SO GODDAMN FUCKING GAY#GAY?? IN THIS ECONOMY??? WHO CAN AFFORD IT????????
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I just did some math and, if Cas is as old as the earth, his 12 years with Dean is equivalent to like 0.08 seconds in a human lifespan. That’s less than 1/10th of a second, shorter than the blink of an eye. He knew Dean for such a short amount of time compared to his entire existence and it was enough to fundamentally change everything about Cas and how he sees the world. That’s absolutely insane to me.
#if u don’t believe me its (12/4.5billion)*365*seconds per day#I originally thought it was the equivalent to like one afternoon to a human#and a lot can happen in an afternoon. Some of my most life changing events occurred over the span of a few hours.#of course it was still romantic that Cas changed because of Dean in such a short period of time but an afternoon isn't inconsequential#but in this context its mind-blowingly romantic and hopeless because that's like if a random bug bit me and immediately died#and I fell in love with that bug and changed my entire perception of the world because of my love for that bug#Can you imagine that?#dean x cas#destiel#dean winchester#cas#supernatural#castiel#deancas#casdean#spn#Like
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Okay can we take a moment to break down this little bit right here because it's HILARIOUS. Like, this isn't the first time he's seen/noticed Lucy, but this is the first moment where he's properly LOOKING and paying attention to her. Just the way he stops in his tracks from instantly blowing her head off like he did the others because he's trying to compute what's in front of him is *chef's kiss*. Best first meeting 10/10.
#fallout#the ghoul#cooper howard#lucy maclean#ghoulcy#walton goggins#fallouttvgifs#the sheer BAFFLEMENT to amusement in the span of a few seconds just SENDS me
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Meme redraw OG Rayman prefers to choose kindness whenever he can...
V.2 :
But sometimes, you gotta send a message.
#...that's the second time I draw a relatively pacifist cartoonish character choosing violence in the span of 2 years#and he's purple themed too...kinda#uh#it's not much but it's weird it happened twice#oh well#ramon#rayman#it's been a struggle with those pictures bc guess what#I had to format the computer#and I *thought* I had all my CSP materials backed up in a file#but apparently they changed the placement of the material files without a warning and I didn't back up jack on the cloud#I have a few brushes I had put aside just in case and did well to do so#but all the brush and presets I've created are gone...color palettes included#i am an adult i am not going to cry#back up your material files kids#don't be like me#meme
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So fun fact this is the drawing I accidentally copy pasted on top of itself. Originally this was supposed to be a wallpaper type I would offer for Comms, but this was so complicated I would rather not do that to myself.
In other news I am thoroughly obsessed with RTDLDX, and have beat everything except the True Arena (I have yet to 100% extra mode though, as I had like 4 lives by the final world. It kicked my butt but I do thoroughly enjoy a challenge). I have. so many thoughts. Mostly about this egg (who I am now broke because of. I have spent much money for him)
Also this is my first time properly drawing either of his boss forms I do not understand how other people do it, it was fun but gosh round shapes are hard to draw in one smooth go. Ramble aside, this is a phone wallpaper, if you wanna use it as such! That’s what its meant to be. Prolly works better as a lock screen unless you can move where your apps are
(relogs with tags/comments are appreciated. Thankyu)
#kirby#magolor#magolor kirby#kirby's return to dreamland#kirby's return to dreamland deluxe#rtdldx#rtdldx spoilers#magolor epilogue#gosh this game gave me so many emotions#i literally speedran the main story#i beat every world in the span of a few hours on the FIRST DAY i owned it.#then spent the second day beating the finale#then proceeded to beat the normal arena. fairly easy all things considered#then i went and played a bit of extra mode and went ok ill tackle you later.#went to magologue#got to the ending and i was gonna quit so the switch wouldnt DIE#but i ACCIDENTALLY activated the final boss#so i had to put it on the tv and gosh it was...a lot. i was vibing.#then i saw the credits and kinda lost my mind in the best way#then i spent the most of my time s u f f e r i n g#because extra mode. is SURPRISINGLY difficult i game overed like FOUR TIMES.#in the final level of the game by the way#germdraws#germ draws#glowing eyes#eye contact#ask to tag
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im not lying when i say that i was just finally getting "over" totk, like i hate it still, but the immediate anger and need to rant has died down-
and then the elden ring DLC fucks with me in a very similar way, just even moreso focused on my favorite character in that entire franchise, completely unexpectedly, and the more i learn about it the worse it gets and now i feel even worse bc i dont have the energy anymore to get as angry as i did with totk and its just kinda ... depression and sadness ..
it was like the interest i could fall back to when zelda annoyed me too much or i needed a break from that and i was honestly thinking about doing more with it but now
i know i know i can always draw 'my own stuff' but being a fan of a piece of media or character is just fun and .. furfilling to me in a different way and now i feel so empty again ... and finding new things to obsess about is easier said and done bc i dont 'decide' to stop liking something and neither can just decide to obsess over something so im just kinda left hanging here ... and in a way, i still like it and care about it, frustratingly so, and dont WANT to just stop and find soemthign new ...
#ganondoodles talks#elden ring#zelda#in a way#AND it adds to me just ranting#and complaining#like i wasnt literallly a few days ago beating myself up about that#now i have the next thing#and its almost as bad as it was with totk#with the only difference being that i dont have the energy left to yell that much#and that its the second time now in such a short time span relatively to how long i keep my interests and how long it takes to find one#so in a way it hurts even worse#.... also when the whole thing is kinda bad then at least the whole thing is kinda bad#but here its like specifically my fav#and i dont want to and cant let him just .. go#but at the same time ............. its been so shifted around completely idk what to make of it#idk what the point was to make and present him like he was in the base game and then do such a turn in the DLC#and it feels less like he was someones important favorite nd more like most hated character#bc why would you do that to him like this#you can argue all you want about how it makes sense actually and wahtever but this is what i feel right now ok#what am i even drawing for anyway#what am i even thinking about any stories for anyway#why am i caring about anything anyway#i wish i knew and could stop
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I shouldnt laugh but thats not an insult i was expecting
#i have several questions about bimet#okay actually i only have one#demons cant lie but the way he talks sometimes#it feels like hes lying??#either that or his emotions change drastically in the span of a few seconds#idk#it mught be sonething explained in the main story#but im stuck at the beginning of chapter 2 so i wont know atm...#whb#whb bimet#wait i forgot to ask the question#the question is#is bimet lying?? or what
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also i need you all to know that ava 5 stick!alan would not process being adopted as their dad until it's too late
#king is like. 'so are you their dad or'#c!alan visibly goes through the five stages of grief multiple times in the span of a few seconds#tommy's stickmen tag
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Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings
#love the show. love it a lot. about to be a bitch in the tags anyways#it was. so so messy. they needed another season so bad. the alaska trip took up so much of the comics#and that was with the previously established cast#in the show they introduced a million new characters. gave us no time to get to know them before they were thrown head first into the plot#and condensed an arc that was almost half of the comics into the span of like 5 episodes#my boy singh. oh how they massacred by boy#i mean. okay. in the context of the show the arc wasn't horrible for him.#but i think his survival in the comic and his dedication of his life to making up for the mistakes of his past by helping people and hybrids#would've been so much more powerful than his random self sacrifice at the end of the show.#bc honestly it just seems like another impulsive act in his moral flip flop he'd been having for the last few episodes#rather than active choice to be better#and honestly i wanted to see his delusional paranoid religious breakdown from the comics put to screen so bad#it would've been great#i do like that he turned against zhang the second she started trying to talk about rani. that shit slapped#the several fake outs about Jepp's death were so stupid and unnecessary and repetitive#why are you baiting everyone. you're going to piss off the hardcore comic fans waiting for his death and confuse the show fans#either commit to killing him or stop pretending like you're brave enough to do it#why did they flip back so hard into the mystical vaguely eco fascist backstory and outcome of the comic#after spending two seasons trying to build a more scientific and less 'humanity must end' story for two seasons straight#they tried to make it seem less 'humanity must die' again at the end by ending the virus#which i guess might've been the best outcome available considering the source material and the limitations of it's ending#but idk. it felt weird#the writing this season was so much less subtle. it felt like the characters were constantly monologing directly at the camera#nothing could be left unsaid everyone had to say exactly what they meant#and it was all moral lessons the writers were trying to feed directly to the audience#i feel like they wrote themselves into a corner at the end of the last season#and they expected to have at least one more season to write themselves out of it before the ending#and if not. if this was the plan since the beginning. literally what. WHAT.#can not imagine the people who wrote the last two seasons sitting down and writing this#it won't let me add more tags but i have more thoughts. many more. tumblr is silencing me for speaking the truth /j
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chat
#if u told me that i could 100 and multi upgrade all in the span of a few seconds like a couple months ago i wouldnt#have believed u
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and étoiles still hasn’t got his ticket
#qsmp#étoiles#jay rambles#this has nothing to do with current qsmp events . im just still thinking about it#like there’s a few other cubitos who haven’t got their yet but they’re the ones who don’t log on as much#étoiles got the dice room Once ages ago and logged in constantly after that without ever getting summoned to the room again#like . antoine came back and lost his first attempt . got summoned back like 15 mins later and then won his second time#so im just wondering if there’s a specific reason as to why etoiles hasn’t got summoned back in the whole span of time he was logged on#post first summoning to the room#which was nearly three weeks ago now#HRMMMMMS all around
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updated my ‘movies watched’ list for the first time in months and spent several minutes trying unsuccessfully to remember “that other film i saw where everyone was shooting each other” … it was The Godfather
#apparently the two categories of films i’ve seen over the past few months are films where everyone is shooting each other#and films where they are not#in my defense i watched two extremely violent films in a short span of time because i was extremely depressed and wanted to feel something#so it’s reasonable to get confused#i was also possibly high when i watched it - though i didn’t feel SHIT#i’m saving all the edibles for when i watch the second one#to make sure i set the mood properly#i should also mention that i didn’t watch the films BECAUSE they were violent but bc certain signs and symbols compelled me to#(which is why i watch everything i watch)#i just allowed it to happen bc i was really numb#and i knew i could take it#and shit… i guess it pulled me out!#thank you violent movies <33
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theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love
#the cycle of i need to make friends. i need attention. why would someone bother with me? i dont have anything to give. are we friends? why#arent you paying attention to me? tell me that you love me. but it could never be sincere towards someone like me. i cant be loved.#love isnt real. i am love. i am the only one who loves. it hurts. why cant i be loved? is anyone else real? is this a dream? am i dead? is#this hell? whats real is fake and whats fake is real. its wonderland. rabbits talk cookies make you big or small everyone is so confusing.#do others love me or hate me or feel indifferent? it seems to switch as random. one day you'll adore me the next its as if we never met. and#i have to keep making friends. i cant keep making friends. if i dont i'll end up with no friends. i dont know how to make more friends.#clinging to bubbles floating up scrambling to catch another as it pops so you dont fall. everyone blends together whats what whos who?#in the span of a few years i feel like an immortal tortured with the despair of outliving all their relationships#except everyone is perfectly alive just out of reach. but i cant just talk to people. thats bad. no one wants me. i cant do that to someone.#every bubble pops at some point. i cant find anything sturdier. fleeting bursts of attention are ok for now#but i cant even get that. so what do i do? i want to sacrifice myself to make people like me but i have nothing left to give.#whats the point of me? if i cant love and be loved if i cant find more than a few people who will stay for more than a second. what do i#have to do? please tell me what you want. i'm sure i can do it somehow. can i do it somehow? i cant. i cant. i cant anymore. im sorry. just#forget about me. you dont need me. youll be happier when you dont even know who i am anymore. i can disappear without a trace for you. thats#all i can do. take the weight off our shoulders. im just using you if you think about it anyways. to feed my own selfish desire for love i#never deserved. keep myself afloat while i drag you down. isnt it time for me to sink? in a shark attack punch it in the gills. youll be ok.#more than ok. free. i didnt want to bite your leg but i just needed something anything. i dont know any better and i never will. thats why i#belong in the depths where i cant hurt anyone. i cant do anything but hurt. what more am i good for? what more have i done? what have i done#for you? think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it. think about it.#its nothing.
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Oliver's face when he sees the estate for the first time
#like 5 emotions on his face in the span of a few seconds. shock awe fear wonder#u can literally see the gears turning
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So, I went out for a little walk jus' now. Enjoy the midnight. Y'know?
On the walk I saw a hedgehog. Closest I've ever been to one, I think. Y'know hedgehogs am nocturnal an' all, and don't show up much out in the streets. I did see one once in the distantce in front of me walking across that same footpath, funnily donkey's ago.
Anyway, so, that was a nice thing t' see on a walk.
#second time I've written#about a walk#in the span of a few days#I think I shall compose a tag#for me#walks#it shall be what I jus' tagged#it'll be called 'walks' t' describe me walks when I feel the need#hedgehog#because it was an important parta this walk
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