#but at the same time ............. its been so shifted around completely idk what to make of it

[ganondoodle]

im not lying when i say that i was just finally getting "over" totk, like i hate it still, but the immediate anger and need to rant has died down-

and then the elden ring DLC fucks with me in a very similar way, just even moreso focused on my favorite character in that entire franchise, completely unexpectedly, and the more i learn about it the worse it gets and now i feel even worse bc i dont have the energy anymore to get as angry as i did with totk and its just kinda ... depression and sadness ..

it was like the interest i could fall back to when zelda annoyed me too much or i needed a break from that and i was honestly thinking about doing more with it but now

i know i know i can always draw 'my own stuff' but being a fan of a piece of media or character is just fun and .. furfilling to me in a different way and now i feel so empty again ... and finding new things to obsess about is easier said and done bc i dont 'decide' to stop liking something and neither can just decide to obsess over something so im just kinda left hanging here ... and in a way, i still like it and care about it, frustratingly so, and dont WANT to just stop and find soemthign new ...

[httpsserene]

𝐡𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝟏 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

𝘂𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝟱: 𝗹𝗲𝘄𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘁𝗼𝗻 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 | 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝘅 & 𝗰𝗼𝗰𝗸𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: your husband comes home to his monaco apartment after achieving p2 in spain. from the texts you sent him before he boarded his flight, he expected you to be awake when he arrived. however, you’ve fallen asleep–but that’s not a problem. he’ll sneak into bed right next to you and catch a few extra hours of sleep. you’ll commemorate the podium come morning. 📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. explicit. vaginal sex. lingerie. marriage. unsafe sex. no pull-out. tender sex. slow and sensual. cockwarming. intimacy. no beta we get disqualified like lewis and charles. not dirty? husband/wife kink (if that’s a thing). more soft. sickeningly sweet (ig). 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 1k words. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: lewis hamilton x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: oneshot. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: icu • coco jones

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: needed something to soothe the soul after the austin gp disqualifications. this is at the same time the least kinky thing i’ve written so far and the most kinky thing ever. because love feels filthier to write, idk if that makes sense. it’s on the shorter side because i ditched the preamble in order to finish this in time lol, but i dedicate this to my twin @saintwrld :) (it reminds me of her renaissance series :p y'all should check it out @saintslewis) and i hope everyone enjoys it !!!!

do you want to be added to my general taglist? or my f1 kinktober taglist? send me an ask!

cross-posted on my ao3, htppsss

to see what kinktober uploads have already been completed or to see what's coming next check my f1 kinktober masterlist ! for all of my works see my general masterlist!

lewis sighs tiredly as he lies down in bed next to you. the mercedes driver turns on his side facing you, and laughs quietly. your bonnet, of course, has grown a pair of legs and climbed its way off your head and is sleeping on the pillow next to you—your braids fanned out on the pillow underneath you unprotected. lewis carefully wrangles the bonnet back on you and smiles adoringly when he notices that you're wearing the matching bonnet he got you almost nine years ago. and to feel how the matching bonnets makes his heart stutter after spending a decade of his life with you, two of those years being married; he knows being married to you is one of the best decisions he’s ever made. 

he tugs you, his wife, closer; cooing out loud when he notices that you’re clad in one of his tommy hilfiger hoodies, tucking your head under his chin, arms wrapping around you tightly, and legs intertwining comfortably. you hum against his chest, nuzzling deeper into his bare skin, and a faint smile lingers on your lips, and unconscious reaction to having your husband home again. lewis throws his head back groaning, he can’t wake you up now. you had spammed his phone with texts before his flight, promising that he’d get a “surprise” when he got home, for doing so well this weekend—and he doesn’t have the heart to wake you up just so he can fuck you. well, he thinks, he can just get a couple hours of sleep in and then he’ll wake you up and enjoy whatever gift you’ve decided to bless him with and he drifts into sleep.

when lewis wakes up again, the first thing he notices is that he’s slept for way more than a couple hours. the noon sun has brightened the room immensely, and he’s shocked that he managed to stay asleep for so long with how the sun is shining directly on his face. he shifts onto his back, groaning at the soreness left from racing, and glances down at you to see if your still sleeping, and chokes on his breath. his hoodie is rucked up your waist from sleep, exposing your black lace panties, and when he shifts to get a better view of your ass, his body jostles yours and reveals the silver shift of glitter in the fabric. 

“fuck,” lewis murmurs, he’s always been weak for you dressing in his team colors. one of his tattooed hands takes a generous squeeze of your ass, and he wonders if you're wearing the matching top. his grip on your ass may have become a smidge too tight at that thought, because you softly gasp awake. lewis watches as you squirm against him softly, face twisted in confusion, before you make eye contact with him, and you relax. 

you smile sweetly, your left hand rising to rest on his cheek, “welcome home, champ.” lewis laughs at your half-asleep tone, nuzzling his face into your hand, before turning to press a kiss at the ring he put on your finger. “it was only a second-place finisher, love. no need to call me ‘champ.’”

frowning at him, you scoff, “you are still a seven-time world champion, are you not?” lewis concedes to your point; he’s not interested in being scolded by you today—he’s more concerned with unwrapping the present you got him. he hums and noses at your chin before he captures your lips in a dizzying kiss. your lips are languid against each other, there’s no rush in rediscovering the crevices within your mouths. lewis ignores how your teeth tug at his bottom lip, urging him to speed up—he only deepens the kiss, not quickening his pace, coercing you to melt under his passion. 

he pulls away, enjoying how your gaze has transformed from sleep-hazy to lust-hazy. “mmm, is my ‘surprise’ the panties and matching bra you have under my hoodie?” lewis asks you. you nod your head gently, scooting back and pulling the hoodie up to reveal the matching silver-glitter covered black bralette. he moans at the sight of you; perky breasts and nipples hard underneath the lace, your eyes half-lidded in arousal. his hands reach out to grasp at your chest, thumbs dragging over your nipples, causing a shaky moan to fall from your lips at the friction. you reach to pull the hoodie off but lewis grunts in dissent, “nah, keep it on for me. just make sure it stays up, love.”

“ohmygod,” you giggle quietly, “you can just say you’re obsessed with fucking me in your clothes.”

lewis rolls his eyes at you, “okay: i’m obsessed with fucking you in my clothes. i love the way you smell like me after, i love the way your smell lingers when i wear them after you, i love the way you look in my clothes; if i could choose, i wish you’d only ever wear my clothes and have pretty lingerie underneath them all the time.”

you stare at him wide-eyed, not expecting him to flip your teasing words in that manner, maybe that’s why your panties suddenly feel a little wet. you bite your lip, trying to think of a way to regain the upper hand, and lewis clocks your eyes brightening.

“i fingered myself open for you last night. i’m sure you could still slip in, if you’re up for it.”

lewis chuckles, half-crazed, and murmurs, “if i’m up for it? promise me, if i ever say no to having sex with you that you’ll take me to see a doctor?”

you hum, hand shifting to rub at the nape of his neck, “i promise, baby. can you fuck me now—i fell asleep waiting for you last night.”

lewis quickly gets to work positioning your body. he spins you around to your side, your back pressed against his chest, and spreads your thighs open with his knee. you moan at his easy manhandling, and press your ass back to grind against the tent in his boxers. he encourages the movement of your hips, even directing the grind for a few beats before he halts your motions. his hand slips in between the two of you, and tugs his dick out. he pulls your panties to the side and slowly slips into you. your mouth drops open in a silent moan, overwhelmed by the stretch from his dick spreading you open. lewis sighs deeply as he bottoms out within you, and kisses you on the shoulder. he stays still, allowing you the time you need to adjust. you shift your hips gently, testing the feel, and hum in assent.

lewis moves his hand to find yours, and locks them over your navel, using them to pull you as close to his body as he can. he whispers softly, “can we take it nice and slow today? i want to make love to you today.”you hum, and it shifts to a whine as his hips gently rock into yours, and whimper out, “it’s your present—can use it however you want.” 

lewis keeps the motion of hips slow and controlled, pulling out halfway before sinking in as deep as he can reach. it’s stunning how you can feel every bit of love lewis puts into his thrusts, seeping into you. he continues to pepper kisses on your neck and shoulder, and slips his other arm underneath you, and moving your body slowly so you twist back further, exposing your chest to him again. the hoodie remains bunched under your armpits, and lewis tugs the bralette down underneath your chest, causing your breasts to spill out lewdly over the top. his hand rests over your chest, not groping in any manner, just holding you close, feeling how your heartbeat speeds up from his movements.

in the decade you’ve been in a relationship with lewis, you’ve had some life-changing sex. but, for some reason, the slow and sensual sex has to be your favorite. it feels restorative, like he’s breathing life back into your body, with every deep thrust he’s showing you how much he loves you. and he’s not afraid to say it either.

“i love you, so much—you’re so good to me—my wonderful wife—all for me—all mine—i’ll make you feel so good, love—forever, yeah—you and me, like this—i win everything for you—“

you rock back against him, always weak when he can help but run his mouth, and start rambling back to him, mouth loose from the pleasure he continues to give to you, “my oh! my husband—only you for me, yeah?” he moans into your neck, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to you calling him your husband. 

there’s no telling how long the two of you are wrapped together, neither you are in any rush to reach a climax—you both crave the intimacy sex like this provides, especially after he’s been away. your orgasms crest over your bodies slowly but they’re more satisfying than any other release you could get from rough sex. lewis continues to grind his dick in you as deep as he can, not making any motion to pull out, and ignores the building sensitivity he’s feeling. 

lewis smiles at the blissed out look on your face, and watches how you struggle to open your eyes; he’s been fucking you back to sleep this whole time—that would explain why your rambles disappeared as you got closer to your peak. he tugs the hoodie back down over your chest, and one-handedly drags the duvet to cover your bodies, not wanting you to get cold. “hey, love,” he calls softly, “do you want me to pull out and clean you up?” you shake your head, and turn back onto your side fully, pressing you back to his chest again, and you start to doze off. lewis rubs at your waist gently, soothing you further into sleep—he’s never going to say no to having you keep his dick warm. 

lewis carefully reaches towards the nightstand and grabs his phone, and quickly sets an hour alarm. he won’t let himself be fooled by the call of sleep and let the whole day fly by, like he did last night—he’d rather not be awoken by his angry wife screaming about uti’s and whatnot. he’ll just bathe in the afterglow while you sleep soundly; he just wants to look after you a little longer.

taglist: @lorarri @soph1644 @jaydensluv @fanboyluvr@nissaimmortal @redgonerogue @hollie911 @saintwrld @buendiabebeta @butterfly-lover @lana-d3l-rey @dylan1721 @spicybagel14 @dhhdhsiavdhaj @miahgonzalez16 @jjaekin @dkbj14 @f1lover55 @f1lov3r @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @sweetpiccolo-blog @my-ylenia @zaynzierulez @reblog-princess-blog @lovingaphroditesworld @katekipshidze @darleneslane

© httpsserene 2023

[i-heart-hxh]

does ikalgo have deeper significance to killua's character? i get that hes like a new friend for killua but why does it feel like he was portrayed so importantly to killua's character during caa? its like theres a deeper meaning, why did killua go out his way just to save ikalgo from those two chimera ants when they entered the building? and why did he look so hesitant? he had thoughts that said "what am i doing..? why the hell am i going the opposite direction?" or something like that. idk it just feels like togashi was implying something abt killua there but i cant figure out what that is. do u have an idea?

Hello! This is a great question!

Ikalgo's friendship with Killua is vital both to Killua's development and also to Chimera Ant arc as a whole! I can explain that significance.

Throughout much of the series, Killua tags along with Gon and primarily focuses on him. He befriends other people, certainly, but he generally does this through Gon--it's not like he's going out of his way to make these friends on his own.

In Chimera Ant Arc, the connection between Gon and Killua gets somewhat disrupted by the events that happen, and Gon's focus shifts primarily to saving Kite and his revenge on Pitou, leaving Killua to worry and feel somewhat left behind and helpless (partly as a result of the the Palm situation as well).

When Killua splits off from Gon to try and save civilians, he meets and a battles an enemy at the time, Ikalgo.

During their fight, Killua gives Ikalgo a choice: Either sell out his friends by revealing their nen powers, or die. Ikalgo chooses to die rather than betraying his friends, and Killua is able to relate to this loyalty. He spare's Ikalgo's life and tells Ikalgo that if they'd met another way, maybe they could have been friends.

Killua's kindness in empathizing with Ikalgo and sparing him is the only thing that saves his life later when he's bleeding out from the needlefish darts. Had Killua not extended that mercy and said those kind words to Ikalgo, Ikalgo would not have saved him, and he would have died.

It's interesting/neat how the scene right after Ikalgo saving Killua from the needlefish involves Gon having his own encounter with another friendly Chimera Ant, and the tone of their conversation is quite a bit different:

Contrast is so important in Chimera Ant Arc!

Anyway, when Killua shows Ikalgo mercy, makes it clear that they're friends now, and invites him to come along and be part of the human side of the war, he essentially becomes to Ikalgo what Gon has been to him: Someone who represents light, and who represents a path forward to a better life. In this arc, Killua worries that he doesn't deserve a place at Gon's side, but at the same time here he extends the same kind of light and hope that Gon gave him to someone else.

As for the scene where Killua breaks off away from Gon in the Palace Invasion in order to protect Ikalgo, this continues to show Killua's world expanding outside of Gon. Notice how in this page, it clearly shows Killua leaving Gon behind--they have their backs to each other, which is a frequent image in this arc. His mission was to protect Gon and make sure Gon could complete his revenge against Pitou, so deviating from that mission is both shocking to him, and potentially dangerous, but it shows that he's starting to protect and care for others as well as Gon.

Now, I want to be clear that I see this as a positive step for Killua. At this point in the series, Killua had made Gon his entire reason for living, essentially, and him going outside of that and making other friends and protecting and caring about them is a vital step for his character. It's showing that he's becoming a more expansive, mature person who can care for multiple people (or ants) at once rather than centering his entire existence and sense of self around one person. He made this action as quickly and efficiently as possible so he could get back to Gon's side, but he did go out of his way and leave Gon behind momentarily, and even he is surprised by this.

And while obviously I adore his nearly single-minded love and devotion for Gon, with what happens between them in this arc he needs to have others in his life besides Gon, and it's part of his transition into also being the light for Alluka and Nanika. It's a result of Killua's own innate kindness and empathy and the choice he made to leave his previous life behind, but also, he was able to reach this point partly because Gon showed him the love and encouragement he needed to become the person he is.

Now, as for Ikalgo's role in the arc as a whole: He's part of a chain of kindness and mercy that ends up changing the entire outcome of the Chimera Ant arc. This post puts it incredibly well. The chain of kindness started at the beginning of the series, with Gon befriending and rescuing Killua in spite of his background, which then eventually leads to Killua sparing Ikalgo (who then saves Killua right back), and then Ikalgo sparing Welfin, and then Welfin giving Meruem Komugi's name so that they got to be together in the end. Ikalgo shows the consequences of Killua's kindness, which are also the consequences of Gon's kindness, in part.

A major theme of the series and of Chimera Ant arc is that love and kindness are transformative, and Ikalgo has such an important role in demonstrating that theme.

[envy-of-the-apple]

ok i like the idea of reader going to shoko thinking she’s normal physician (not knowing she only works for sorcerers) and asks for a checkup. one thing leads to another and reader has to continue meeting her for ‘check-up’s’ frequently…..

how does it feel to be the smartest person in the room bestie????

@mynahx3 hiiiiiiiiii<3

Trust the Professionals

Dark!Ieiri Shoko x reader

Synopsis: Doctor Ieiri has a new treatment she’s eager to try on you

Word count: 2.2k

(Warnings: Dubcon/noncon, manipulation, vaginal fingering, dark content, mc's kinda dumb, self-gaslighting lmaooo, hospital kink? im pretty sure this is some type of kink but idk whats its called)

For the longest time, you never really believed in ghosts.

You weren't really the religious type. You went to church every so often, but you weren't invested. It's why it took you a while to get around to the idea that spirits were real, and one was particularly attached to you.

Luckily, the Shamans always seemed happy to help.

"It's back again, huh?" Doctor Ieiri asked.

You nodded, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. She doesn't look like a Shaman. You were expecting more bells and bracelets. Traditional clothing. Doctor Ieiri was always dressed in a labcoat, professional makeup that did little to cover lack of sleep. She looks like she just fell out of a hospital drama.

Despite her looks, you knew she was pretty good at her job. She was the only person who'd gotten rid of your spirit problem. At least, for a little while.

You don't know what she meant exactly, but the spirit ("Cursed spirit," she corrected one too many times) was a replicator. It needed to be exorcised multiple times to fully disappear. This has been your third visit so far.

You watched as her eyes followed something right above your head. She hummed, leaning forward on the desk, tapping her perfectly manicured fingers.

"That's strange," she murmurs, "usually, by the third, it's gone."

You wilt at that. A part of you feels guilty for taking so much of the Doctor's time. All of the appointments so far had been free, but you wouldn't blame her if she started asking for payment, or if she turned you away completely.

She straightens her back.

"Clearly, regular exorcisms aren't working." She states the obvious. "So far, they've just been a temporary fix. There's one more thing we could try but..."

For the first time since you've seen her, Doctor Ieiri hesitates. You look at her.

"Not many prefer this procedure." She explains. "It's a little...unorthodox."

Her reluctance should give you a warning, but you've already spent days putting off this appointment, willing for your cursed problem to go away, spending hours tossing and turning in bed, feeling something crawling up your back with too many legs and too many teeth.

"Anything." You say. "Anything to make this go away."

There's a glint in her eye. Something not quite a smile tugs on her face before it's gone. She stands up, prompting you to do the same. In her hands is a neatly folded hospital gown.

"You can put your clothes over there." She mentions to a chair. "Including your undergarments, please."

She must notice your discomfort because her tone becomes less clinical.

"We can stop whenever you want." She tells you. "But stopping in the middle is typically discouraged. Curses are pretty fickle."

You nod. "Okay, Doctor."

"Please, just call me Shoko." She gives a tired smile. "I want you to be as comfortable as possible for this."

You don't feel comfortable calling her by her given name, but Ieir-Shoko looks so pleased when you let her name reluctantly leave your lips, and you feel too bad to retort.

She steps out of the room shortly after handing you the gown. You put your clothes on the chair, she pointed out. When Shoko knocks, you're already seated on the examination table, swathed in the the thin fabric.

"You follow directions well." She's wearing a surgical mask now but looks satisfied with your compliance. You give a shy smile.

"Let's start with a general overlook for now." She says. "It'd be helpful if we can pinpoint where the curse originated."

You nod, but you can't push away the nervousness as Shoko gently pushes past the fabric. She's wearing gloves, but the rubber is a flimsy barrier to her warm fingers. Her hands brush past your clavicle, and the plastic gown easily yields for her touch. You gasp when she touches your tits, fingers lightly brushing over the nipple. The room is so cold. You're so sensitive. You stiffen against her touch.

She notices, pulling back to see your face. "Something wrong?"

"Uh, no." You smile, but it feels watery. "Just nerves." You can't read her expression. The mask hides everything.

She hums, and you're grateful she doesn't comment on how jittery you are. You hold in your reaction when she lightly presses on your breast. Her thumb flicks over your nipple again. You'd call it sensual if you weren't thoroughly convinced that Shoko was a professional and you were the weird one here.

She pulls away eventually, and you sag in relief. It was over. You don't think you could do that again.

"It's not coming from your upper body." Shoko murmurs. "Would you mind if I untied your gown? It'll be better if I can see everything."

You hesitate, unsure, but Shoko's previous words make your rejection waver. Curses are fickle creatures. In the end, you let her unwrap the gown.

There's no real point to it now. You're fully displayed on the examination table, legs spread, leaning back on your hands. It's embarrassing. You can feel yourself heat up at how exposed you are, especially considering Shoko is still wearing her lab coat and that mask.

But Shoko says nothing about it. Right, she's a professional. Instead, she starts pulling off her gloves.

"I'll be able to locate the cursed location more effectively without a barrier." She explains and you nod along.

She starts with your foot, gently squeezing your foot. It feels nice, like a massage. You languish in the touch, only getting concerned when her prodding starts going up her calf.

Shoko rubs circles along your inner calf. Something wells within you, but you're pushing it down because Shoko is a professional. Instead, you lift yourself off the table just to feel more in control.

"Not here either," Shoko murmurs to herself. "Maybe I need to go a little deeper."

Your eyes widen when she rests a single finger at the entrance of your pussy.

"Doctor, I—I don't think that's—" with one motion, she buries her finger inside you.

You're already shamefully wet. Your walls are already clenching down her nimble finger. You can't help it, you shudder, giving out a breathy whine.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" For some reason, you can hear a smile in Shoko's voice as she starts pumping her finger in and out of your sopping pussy. "You can talk. I'm great at multitasking."

"I—I was just saying—saying Doctor, you—" Her finger curls, and you are interrupted by another moan.

"Shoko." She reminds you her voice firm and calm and a total juxtaposition to the way her thumb is circling over your sensitive clit. "I want you to stay calm and relaxed throughout this procedure, okay?"

"Shoko." You keen and you're sure her breath hitches but your brain is numb and she's still wearing that mask. "This—This just feels a—a bit strange and I—"

She coos in sympathy. "It's all part of the process. Just relax, okay? You're doing so well for me."

At this point, you're leaning back on your elbows. The new angle jolts pleasure up and down your spine. It gets even worse when Shoko adds a second finger, stretching your sensitive walls out even further.

"I think the curse is getting closer. We're almost there." Her voice is soft and breathy in your ear and you can hardly understand that she's taken off her mask. "Just a little more. Just a bit further. So so good for me. You're doing so well, baby."

Your orgasm hits you like a train. All at once, you seize up on her fingers, your thighs squeezing together and your moan resembles more of a scream than anything human. Shoko keeps going as the orgasm smashes your broken body like grass.

She stops when you give one last shudder before collapsing onto the examination table. You lie there, breasts heaving, eyes glazed. You're so far out of it that you don't even notice the way she licks her wet fingers.

It takes a few seconds for you to gather your bearings. When you do, you're mortified. You shoot up from the table, covering yourself up with the flimsy gown, ready to apologize when Shoko asks:

"How do you feel?"

It's such an innocent question. It takes you off-guard. Sensitive, is your first answer, but then you think some more and you realize that you can't really feel the dread or the weight on your shoulders anymore.

"You...exorcised it?" No, this felt different from the last two exorcisms she performed on you. Now, you feel five years younger.

She grins, pleased.

"Yes. I found the origin point." She explains. "Even if it ever comes back, it'll be smaller and easier to deal with."

You nod, still recovering from your high as you roll your shoulder. Everything feels so good.

"Wow," you say, "I—thank you! Thank you so much!"

She pulls back, accepting your gratitude with a soft expression.

"We're done for today." She tells you at last. "You're free to put on your clothes. Can't imagine that gown is very comfortable."

You wait for her to leave. She doesn't, sitting back behind her desk, typing away at her computer. There's no real point of you having privacy, is there? After all, you basically just showed her everything.

Still, when you go to put on your clothes, you can feel eyes on you, trailing down your body, your ass. It isn't Shoko. She's always busy with her keyboard, diligent as always. You were feeling things.

One garment was missing, however. As discreetly as you could, you searched around for it, glancing at the floor, underneath the chair. You swore you left it with the other clothes. How could it just disappear?

"Something wrong?"

Shoko's peering up at you, head tilted. You open your mouth. But then you decide they aren't worth the further embarrassment.

"Nothing." You give a nervous grin. "Just nothing."

Shoko can still taste you when Satoru visits her hours after your appointment.

"Get out," she says. Satoru just grins, shutting the door behind him. It was worth a shot.

"I see your favorite little patient had another check-up," he says, "still haven't disclosed we aren't exactly in the personal exorcism business, have ya'?"

Shoko shrugs. "It's a personal project. Don't worry about it."

"Right, you say that buuuuut 'can't help but notice that our lovely non-sorcerer still has a curse swimming around—"Satoru clicks his tongue. "—It's fourth grade, too. This deskwork is making you go soft, Shoko. Maybe I should start dragging you out to missions."

"Did you exorcise it?" Ugh, that would be a pain. Shoko spent so long cultivating that curse to work in her favor.

Gojo grins. "Nah."

"A residual curse." Satoru continues. "Harmless, but pesky enough to be noticed if it isn't dealt with in a couple days. Smart."

By Saturday, to be more exact. Shoko has already cleared her schedule. She can already hear your voice crackling through the phone, sweetly apologizing for such short notice, but would it be possible to book an appointment? She won't tell you that, nor will she tell Satoru. Though, she has a feeling the bastard already knows.

Said bastard is rifling through her drawers. She frowns when he pulls out your panties.

"Aw, these are so cute!" Satoru gushes, shamefully twirling the fabric on his finger. "Are you starting a collection? This some kind of trophy? Hey, I don't judge."

"It's wrong to take things without permission," Shoko says.

"I should be telling you that." Satoru grins. "Y'know, our precious non-sorcerer is kinda' cute. Maybe I should pay a visit—"

Shoko bolts up from her chair. She stares at him. Gojo stops playing with the frills. He's still smiling.

"Easy, easy." He says, but he hands her the fabric anyway. "Damn, I had a feeling, but you're whipped for this one, are n'tcha? Do I hear wedding bells?"

She rolls her eyes. "Get out."

He obliges with a snicker, proving that he only came to mess with her. What did she expect? With a sigh, she collapses back onto her seat.

She dangles your panties in one hand. She refuses to sniff them again, even though your taste and your smell are still swirling around in her head. They must have looked so cute on you. Next time, she'll put cameras in the room, just so she can have a playback of you shyly shucking off your clothes before compliantly slipping on the gown. She wouldn't know what would be more tantalizing to watch; the show or your utter obedience.

Satoru was, unfortunately, right. Shoko was crazy for you, even though you clearly didn't carry the same feelings. That's okay. In this line of work, Shoko knows she has to take what she wants, that letting her desires go is for those like Satoru.

So Shoko will lie and coax and manipulate until you're seated pliantly in her grasp. And maybe if Satoru behaves, he'll get a wedding invite.

And if you still don't yield...well, there's always plan B.

[kakujis]

teach me!

a/n: bro idk wtf this even is.. i was just horny at 3am the other night and its been sitting in my drafts since LMAO. but i like the idea of y/n being super dependent on her prince soo

ft: prince!izana x afab!maid reader

wc: 0.6k

warnings: orgasm control + denial, choking (like one lil squeeze.), fingering, lil bit of dacryphilia aaand thats it.

being prince izana kurokawa’s maid meant two things: one, that you were expected to be the best at what you did and two, that his word was law. that was what everyone thought at first, but you were completely and utterly awful at your job.

you knew what all the other servants had to say about you behind your back, muttering about how you were a detriment to izana whether he knew it or not. some even questioned if you were as pretty as he thought you were, surely, he saw something in you that they didn’t or else he would have thrown you out long ago.

but what they don’t know is how much izana loves giving you “personal” lessons. your back is pressed against his chest, uniform bunched around your waist and your legs spread pretty for him as you fuck yourself with your fingers.

“you’re doing it wrong,” he chuckles in your ear, “that’s why you can’t cum.” he grabs your wrist, pulling your slick covered fingers out. “now do it again, like i showed you.” 

you shift and try again, trying to emulate what his digits feel like when they curl up into you making you squeal. it feels good, sure, but it’s nothing compared to how he does it. resting your head against his shoulder, you whine up into his neck, panting about how it’s not the same if it’s not him and you can’t do it on your own. you’re frustrated from chasing your high, release still so far away. 

“well that’s no good,” he says, pulling out your fingers once more. he brings your hand to his mouth to suck the juices off your digits. “let me show you again. i’m doing this so you won’t need me every time, okay?” he’s lying, especially with his voice so sweet. he knows that no matter what he teaches you, it won’t be enough without him. that’s why he sneaks you into his room every night to see you mewling into his neck or his sheets, it doesn’t matter, as long as you’re pliant underneath him. 

he starts by circling your puffy clit, applying just the amount of pressure he knows you like. then he slips two digits in, strokes languid and slow. it's already better, his fingers thicker and longer than yours filling you up so much than you could. when you arch back into him, he grabs your chin to force your head down. “pay attention,” he snaps.

“s-sorry..” you whimper, biting your lip as you watch as your pussy sucks him in. he always feels so good, rubbing up against that sweet spot that makes your walls clench around him. moving his palm down to rub on your clit, you throw your head back onto his shoulder again, already ignoring his command, glancing up at him with glass blown eyes. 

“that feels good, doesn’t it?” he asks, looking back at you, eyes laced with mirth. he moves his hand down to squeeze lightly on your throat. "see how easy it is? you’re gonna cum aren’t you?” he picks up the pace, scissoring you open and you can feel your orgasm coming. 

“i’m gonna-“ you gasp, bucking into his hand. he squeezes harder on your throat, what precious air you had escaping you. it’s at that moment, when the pressure is going to snap that he pulls his hand out. your pussy clenches down on nothing and you whine. 

“you’re not.” he says, matter of factly, grinning as he releases you from his grasp. you gasp for breath, you were so close. tears prick the corner of your eyes as you pitifully hump the air looking for any kind of stimulation. he pushes his fingers past your soft lips and you suck obediently. once satisfied he pulls them out and grabs your wrist once again, leading your hand back to your sensitive cunt. 

“now let’s try it again, hm?” 

[eneablack]

I SHIFTED 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 AVATAR DR

The last few times I shifted were only with intention but this time I also said affirmations that grounded me in that reality (for example: "I am ene'ya te kalin satkie'itan” , “I live in Pandora”, “I am a na'vi”, etc…), and I went to sleep with the mentality that I was already there in Pandora.

I took notes right after I came back btw so everything was still fresh in my mind, then I added it all together and I tried to make a storytime as detailed as I can. I probably don’t remember well all the things but I tried my best to make everything accurate to what happened.

Okay so let me start.

I had scripted that Lo'ak would wake me up but that didn't happen, instead when I opened my eyes (I don't know what time it was because we don't keep track of time with clocks there) i got kind of scared because I found myself with my face squashed in a hammock so I could see everything from a big height and thought I could fall at any moment. This time I immediately realized that I had shifted because 1. I scripted it and 2. everything was too different, starting from the environment (forest) and ending on myself (literally blue), but I didn't even feel strong emotions like in the other shifts idk why, I was already used to being there as if I've always been there (in that reality it's obvious that I've always been there but you know what I mean).

As I was getting up I was told something like “you finally woke up, we thought you were dead” or something like that because it was said in Na'vi (now that I’m back I think its so weird that I knew and was used to a completely different language). Anyway, in the end it was Tuk who had spoken and she was standing next to a surface of worked wood with stuff on it that looked like exotic fruit. When I got up from the hammock for a moment it was strange to feel so huge (and semi-naked lol) and blue, but this too was super normal so I didn't think about it much.

There around the table, besides Tuk, were my father and one of my sisters and everything immediately became normal, I got back the memories and knowledge of that reality and I had the feeling that this reality was now a distant memory, or a dream, and it was there instead that I belonged. Tuk was at our place because she wanted to have breakfast with us, so then we started eating these seeds which were called pxorna and a type of fruit which name I don't remember, then there was also the spartan fruit which I think was the one from the first film (which Jake tastes for the first time in his new body). My mother and my other sister had gone hunting since I had woken up late, meanwhile then I decided to take Tuk back to her family and bro, I expected to be super excited to meet the rest of the Sully family but instead it was normal like everything else 😭 (now that I'm back here I've been freaking out the whole time that is, I still don't realize but okay).

Neytiri is fucking beautiful btw, and Jake is ethereal irl and is much more patient with the children since the sky people wasn’t there yet. Kiri is like in the movie I have nothing to add, she is nice to me but she is very sarcastic. Lo'ak is quite a kid lmao, even though he's in his 20s he acted a bit annoying and rebellious just because (obviously I love Lo'ak but I'm just describing how he was there, I’m not judging him) but still he was my best friend and i have to say we were very similar now that i think back on it.

Neteyam on the other hand.. bro, the most annoying person in the world, I’LL EXPLAIN RIGHT AWAY don't attack me. Practically, clever as I am, I scripted an enemies to lovers with him, not considering that actually in the "enemies" phase we would have been "enemies" and I have to say okay: it's not that we hated each other or were really enemies, but we kind of couldn't stand not even breathe the same air. He still always had that protective older brother personality and was kind/available to everyone BUT NOT WITH ME, I really pissed him off 😭 but it was mutual so yea. In fact, when he saw me bring Tuk back he snorted and changed seats so I remember that I kind of teased him about it but I don't remember exactly what I said to him.

Later I went out with Lo'ak and we went to get the ikrans because he wanted to go to Tsireya and wanted me to accompany him lmao because they weren't really together yet so he was shy. We had another friend called Nìmäng (he isn’t in the movies), and he was much more serious than us; I don't know how he could be our friend but somehow it worked because he balanced our non-seriousness. In short, we took the ikrans (mine is called Zeswavi) and y’all, it's a one of a kind experience, you feel the wind stinging your skin and you perceive in your body everything the ikran is feeling, then don't make fun of me but you also feel invincible, it's so incredible (I recommend you to shift there just to experience this thing).

When we arrived in Awa'atlu (I scripted that it's only 10 minutes flight away because I'm smart) it was just spectacular, it looked like the Maldives🧍🏼 but much much better. So, now I want you to trust me when I say that I had to hold back not to jump on Tonowari, that man is irresistible and so mighty irl, I can't do it lorddd. Ronal didn't like me that much and frankly I'm afraid it was because she saw me drooling over her husband. Tsireya is lovely, the kindest person there I must say, as well as Rotxo. Ao'nung on the other hand.. an infernal beast, literally; he’s cool I mean, but he was really annoying, he liked to tease me and provoke me every 5 minutes, but I responded by hitting him so it was all balanced.

The rest of the day was spent swimming with the ilus, playing a kind of ping pong with barks and also fishing at some point, which would have been very boring if it weren't for Ao'nung who, although annoying, is really funny. Later Kiri and Tuk also joined us, Neteyam as well, with whom I had a fight because I hit him on the head with the fishing net (it was actually hilarious). Before the eclipse we went back to the forest and brought back some of the fish we had caught, my mother cooked it and wrapped it in seaweed and it was all so good man.

We then all gathered around a bonfire and sang songs, other na'vis sang and some danced, it was truly magical. For a moment I stared at Neteyam because, even if I couldn't stand him, he was really beautiful under the firelight, but when he saw me he said like "what are you looking at, skxawng?" (“idiot”) so I insulted him and started ignoring him again lol.

At night I decided to shift here again because the experience was so beautiful that I wanted to tell everyone about it.

Thanks for reading this all <3 go shift!

[fictionfixations]

i had a thought

spoilers for up to book 6 (i thought dump. A LOT.)

remember the prologue

i have a thought so im sharing it

question: what does he think we can even do to stop. well. anyone??? nobody really listened to us (considering we're magicless too a bunch of ppl would look down on us) until we became like friends to them n stuff?? well ace and deuce listened to us i think but we were united under a goal that at all costs had to be reached. to not get expelled. (except us i forgot what was going to happen to us. ..cause we're not actually students ??. ACTUALLY where the fuck are our papers? did crowley just. make them up? cause if you need papers to expel someone then you need some written form of proof then. which means each student probably has files for them, like. say. proof of 'hey this person goes to this school' etc etc. what did he do with us? did he just not admit we existed to the government? but literally everyone in the school knows we exist so surely one of them blabbed like. idk. maybe some stereotypical rich brat whose like 'EWW THERES sOME' uh 'MAGIcLESs PERSON COMMON fOLK wHAtever the fuck IN THIS prestigious SCHOOL!' and like idfk like how ig maybe some of the rich think the poor will give them a disease just by breathing the same air as them [actually maybe they could though but like YKNOW what i mean] but like. if we're just completely undocumented, excluding the unexplainable shift of some funds for ramshackle i IMAGINE so we can pay for shit and live then are we not really. documented anywhere else? styx probably has something but uhh. also theres probably a bunch of law violations attached that i cant even be bothered to touch at the moment. also there are magic diseases right? but so they also have immunities to stuff. but we're from a completely different world so we've never had contact with their sicknesses. so like. ...yknow how theres a ban around like this one island i cant remember the name of because if you interact with them you'll spread stuff to them theyve never been in contact before with that you might not even realize u have cause ur immune and they'll die? like its illegal to go there at all, they're living entirely without technology. also they're hostile. you will die if you go there [if you dont get caught by the people patrolling to make sure they stay without contact]. ..i mean stuff has happened outside of canon we can see. its canonical that the overblot peeps have gone to counseling and medical mages. so maybe im making a big deal out of nothing)

im. sorry. i got really distracted i didnt intend to spiral down to papers i meant to talk about something else

so just. listen.

actually about the expelling ^ three as in Grim, Ace, and Deuce. oh (so wait if they got in trouble would we just. ..still be able to stay?? ?? he doesnt even address us?? well actually grim isnt a student yet but theres FOUR of us not three then so ????)

wait sorry how did we get here ?? (why are we involved? i dont think crowley spoke to us at all when he was angry at the others with the chandelier 😭)

the wiki might be outdated a little because it doesnt update itself when dialogue changes, people have to notice it and then take the time to add it if anything changed so this is from

so if anything changed since then well huh

(if he blamed us for not being able to stop two teenagers with magic while im magicless though i wouldve been throwing hands but im glad crowley hasnt gone that far. ..he still put a firebreathing cat into our custody though. ramshackle dorm is very flammable isnt it? is dust flammable? idk. a lot of wood also i dont think they know what fire extinguishers are. youd think someone would deal with the flames during the entrance ceremony besides riddle and azul trying to catch the flame setter. or if we have one its very unmentioned.)

but so considering grim is our responsibility.. i have to ask how we're meant to stop him..?

like so this is before we really bond with him (aka we find him annoying. unless u got attached to him right away which good for you, i dont know when he wormed his way into my heart but he did at one point and i realized it at the end of i think book 5 aka ignihyde teaser) so grim wouldnt really listen to us (looks down on us)

also i dont know about you but burns HURT. ive burned myself a few times but they're not like the really bad ones (i dont know the difference between degrees and i feel like googling it will haunt me in my nightmares). i imagine grim cant shoot fire too far? maybe a little more shorter/mid range? what even is mid range idk (and the reason it lasted to hit the statue was because of ace's wind magic imo)

well either he can control the range or he can only shoot it out so far. so then. we'd be really close trying to catch him. maybe its in one of the twistunes where he's running away. he turns around and shoots fire at you. fucking OW (also its BLUE. i dont know how colored fire works, but assuming its blue because its even hotter than normal fire. um. ow.)

like SIR im new to this world i dont know how things work

its like... like being saddled with a baby after being suddenly kicked out of the house with no warning (and thus without any of your stuff besides the clothes youre wearing. ..but youve also been isolated from the world youre whole life so WHAT theres MAGIC? whats this about strange laws i dont know about-- wait THIS IS A BOYS ONLY SCHOOL? .........THERES FURRIES?) and the baby is VIOLENT

like HOLD on a second let me at least get a source of income first before giving me a being that utterly depends on me to survive (well. grim can probably survive on his own if we assume he's lived on his own for a bit until NRC. but um. ...well theres a reason there probably needs to be a bunch of childproofing for grim.) when i can barely figure out how to survive here

so. i feel i got very sidetracked. but its also nearing the time i sleep so my brain is slowing down on me and my thoughts have veered off the train tracks enough that this is just a whole mess of thoughts spewing out

i hope im making sense but im probably not

wanted to crowley bash because why are you putting me in charge of people probably the same age as me (minus grim) but with an advantage against me considering they have magic and i dont (not to say that people who know how to fight cant beat their asses but like. ...i dont know how to fight so.)

but he also hasnt given me reason to in canon i guess (if anythings happened outside of prologue i have no recollection of it. i just went through the wiki searching for every page with 'bill' or 'expense' in it)

surprisingly fanfiction either turns to 'crowley is an asshole' (and also actually pays attention to yuu and blames them like oh) or 'parent crowley' which speaks for itself (and is very cute in its own right but i also dont like him regardless as i dislike all adults that put responsibilities on children to be fucking idk child soldiers or to fight shit or deal with shit. i mean crowley doesnt go that far but i still dont like him)

those fics though start from prologue and go in order (some include vignettes and events) so i assumed that it followed it close enough to be a recreation but [so and so] but i was wrong apparently

still tho

[loafthecat]

Welcome to fun oc facts with loaf!

I remember doing one for Ollie- so why not do one for another oc of mine I love-? (Might also do more in the future for the other’s too idk-)

Today’s Subject is Mavy or Maverick Johnson- lol-

- Mavy is around 26-27 years old, and by the time of ctm he’s been contained within the ccc for 3 years max.

- current voice claim for mavs is Dogday, (yes the one out of Poppy playtime, sue me-), this goes for both cartoon and bigger bodies dogday as cartoon dogday fits pre-ccc mavy’s voice and bigger body dogday fits in with current Mavy’s voice. (Being more weak and deep? Idk- I still think Mav’s voice would remain gentle-)

- Mav first came from a dream @toxsradioactivelocks explained she had on discord, and I went- “hey- what if I made this character from your dream into a oc-?”, …..and that’s how we got mavy-

- best way to describe Mav would be- tired pessimist. He’s not really rude or mean- he’s just… lost all hope in ever being found or rescued- so much so he’s completely given up the idea of escaping himself- …he’s just so tired….

- he does tend to lose his temper when under a lot of stress��. While it’s hard to get Mav to that point- it’s not advised you push him that far as well- I think trev could tell you exactly what happens when Mav is pushed to his limits.

- dislikes basically everyone in the ccc- (except for one exception) it isn’t personal- he just can’t find himself having sympathy for people who continue to let his torment continue-

- speaking of sympathy, Mav has a lack of sympathy for others. He lost his sense of it over time in the ccc, ESPECIALLY towards the ccc’s employees. If anything bad happens he’s probably just silently watching from his containment cell, besides- what’d he be able to do anyway-?

- dispite all the above, Mav isn’t a angry or shouty person. He displays dislike more akin to how (best comparison) Burt would, which is blunt and quietly, instead of loudly.

- Mavy is a sweet boi- He’s just- not really like that to a majority of the ccc-

- Mav used to be a gov pilot- at least before the ccc. He……he misses his friends….he misses his old partner…….not that any of them probably remember him……

- yeah he has abandonment issues, specifically when it comes to the government and the fact, they haven’t rescued him. (Granted the gov thinks he’s dead but still-)

- ^ the above issue becomes worse after ctm.

- he can’t remember what his own face used to look like, before he turned into his current form.

- depresso espresso

- he eeps a lot-

Abilities:

- Mavy is able to shapeshift thanks to the black goo covering his entire body! Granted, Mav doesn’t become a perfect replica of what he’s trying to turn into, as the goo’s black colouring and his eyes and diamond like spots stay the same. (As seen in the poorly drawn cat at the bottom of post)

- Dispite his ability to shapeshift, mavy struggles to control this ability while under stress. Often if made too overly stressed his form shifts on its own, into something mavy can’t control, a form which makes mavy turn in the best of words- feral.

- mavy doesn’t shapeshift often either. Partly because he doesn’t like to and partly because there’s no point in doing so

- said goop is a result of a package “gifted” to mavy from someone called “gadget gabe”-? (Or maybe it wasn’t…..), It attached to him and now is unremovable from his body, so the change is permanent.

- due to what happened to him, Mavy’s legs are now slightly managled, becoming more akin to a animal’s legs then human legs, because of this Mavy always walks with a limp, although depending on what he’s doing and how fast he’s walking it becomes more or less noticeable.

Relations:

- current mavy isn’t friends with many people. He USED to be close with plenty of people within the government- but in the ccc- not so much-

- he only really has one proper friend in the CCC, Pluto starstick (other oc.) he likes Pluto because well- Pluto is actually just a decent person really- plus- Pluto actually talks to him and has a reason towards why he can’t do anything to stand up against the ccc. <- If I make a post on Pluto I’ll explain that more but for now back to Mavy.

- He’d be close friends with Dave if they met (or when they met.) I feel like they’d just understand eachother well- ESPECIALLY when it comes to the pain they’ve both been through- shared trauma and all!

- weirdly enough, Mavy is the only experiment in the ccc, Trevor will avoid and NOT act cruel too…. Now believe me it isn’t out of care or love or anything. In fact- Trevor actually fears Mavy. Hm, maybe I’ll explain why one day too ;3.

- the last two current relations Mavy has aren’t good ones either- …what..? Mav wasn’t the only gov agent fcked over by the ccc- …..too bad those two old friends are less then friendly now…. Or at least…. One of them certainly aren’t… and the other……. ……what a dirty traitor.

So yeah!!!! There’s all of Mavy’s base info! Feel like I should do more of these to explain each of my thsc ocs more- I’ll probably do one of the ccc gang or maybe trev or Pluto next-

Anyway, enjoy poorly drawn cat mavy!

[tabithatwo]

you people are so weird. any person with a brain would understand that shauna would be the most affected by the loss of her baby. that baby is literally a part of her in a way that jackie will never be able to. you’re just mad that shauna’s character no longer revolves around the non canon ship that you made up in your head.

I’m only gonna respond to one of these the rest will be deleted but this is a good example to use to tap into more general concerning discussion I see!

Two parts, the easy one first:

everyone who says this stuff is missing the point completely, the conversation isn’t even about shipping like…at all, actually! It’s character continuity! The point is simply that s1 21 shauna was constantly impacted by a specific thing (the loss of Jackie) and now that we’ve seen that loss on screen in 96, the showrunners have shifted s2 21 Shauna a LOT (both on screen and in interviews). I also talked about Misty’s continuity. Im concerned about the 2021 CHARACTERS CHANGING BASED ON THINGS THAT HAVE ALL ALREADY HAPPENED TO THEM IN THE PAST BY THE FIRST FRAME OF ADULT THEM THAT WE EVER SEE IN THE SHOW. Because I worry that the writers don’t themselves know enough of what happened in the 96 tl to not have continuity issues in the adult characters and/or there’s been a push somewhere to make the characters more tolerable or sympathetic. Like that is the thesis statement idk if that helps lol cause I think you’re probably willfully misunderstanding me but in case you’re not there’s another rephrasing of it.

Second thing, less easy:

telling people that “anyone with a brain would understand that the loss of a baby would impact her most” is actually a very cruel thing to do! I’m taking the time to explain this in case you’re on the younger side or something and maybe just don’t understand, but when you talk to people you do not know what they’ve experienced. So imagining that you’re telling someone who has experienced the thing you’re lecturing them on when you say things can be a helpful metric in being less of an asshole in your phrasing. Pregnancy loss and stillbirth CAN absolutely be the hardest thing some people ever experience. But applying that rhetoric to every single woman is actually a very right wing bullshit propaganda sexist crock of shit, which is the other issue I have with this storyline that’s making me weary. The entire she showed no interest in this baby but every woman wants their baby and it just takes seeing it to realize thing? Rotted. Absolutely rotted lol. Can that happen? YEAH! Does it every time or even most of the time? FUCKING NO IT DOES NOT! Does constantly portraying that in media create a general understanding that is incredibly harmful? The one you’re actually sending back at me right now? ALSO YEAH! I’m not saying I don’t think there’s a way they can go with Shauna’s grief that doesn’t play into this, but the shift in her 2021 character PAIRED with the quote about the baby being the most profound loss worries me.

Especially when the proof is a little bit in the pudding, because there are so many people like you very loudly saying that miscarriage or pregnancy loss or stillbirth is unequivocally the worst thing that can happen to a woman and that questioning that is wrong.

So back to think about who you’re talking to and how they could have any life you don’t understand: you sent this to me! A stranger on the internet! And I, someone who actually quite literally experienced pregnancy loss at 19 years old of a baby that I didn’t want with a man that I slept with because of his proximity to a specific woman, woke up to a message telling me that I’m stupid for not understanding the impact of the loss of a pregnancy. Now is that the exact same loss as Shauna’s? No of course not but damn if it isn’t a little eerie in its closeness lol. Which is probably WHY I care so much how they’re handling this rhetoric.

ANYWAY LAYING THIS SUBJECT TO REST FOR NOW LIKE COACH BENS LEG Y’ALL ARE DOING TOO MUCH LET ME TALK ABOUT MY CONCERNS FOR THE CONTINUITY AND DIRECTION OF A TV SHOW I LOVE ON MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT TELLING ME I DONT UNDERSTAND A THING IVE EXPERIENCED THANKS SO MUCH!

[alovelyfox]

idk if its still kyle week but could u do something about kyle n jenny simons ☝️☝️

hi of course! my requests are always open for any character, i just thought kyle week would be a good time to focus on everyone’s fav redhead :P

anyways the premise of this story is that it takes place a week after the events of season 11, episode 14: The List! the characters have not been aged up (still in fourth grade), but sorry if anyone is acting ooc as i had to take some liberties to move the story along…

Why Me? Kyle Broflovski X Jenny Simons Oneshot

It was just a dumb list.

Nothing to get upset about, and definitely not enough for Jenny to be in this classroom right now.

“I don’t get why I’m here right now,” she exclaims to the black-haired girl in front of her, Wendy Testaberger. Wendy is shorter than Jenny, and if needed, Jenny knows she could easily push past her and go out through the door. But Wendy is one of her classmates, and a part of the girls friend group. All the drama that could come from a simple shove is just not worth it, especially when everyone’s already on edge after that damn list.

“You know why you’re here,” Wendy squeaks, staring pointedly. “You had a hand in creating the list of the most to least attractive guys in our class, so now you have to apologize to who you put at the bottom of the barrel. Sorry, Kyle.”

Ah, right. The redhead has been quiet ever since he was ushered in here by his best friend’s ex, and only assumed the worst when he saw who else had been forced in here with him. He had never really known Jenny, until that fateful day last week. Seeing her up there with Bebe and Lola, agreeing that he was the ugliest boy in their class changed his whole perception of her. No longer was she Jenny Simmons, one of the girls. Now, she was Jenny Simmons, shallow bitch.

“It’s fine, Wendy. I actually-”

“Who cares?” Jenny says. “I don’t see the point in apologizing for something that happened days ago.”

Kyle shoots her an aggressive glare for interrupting him, but he digresses, just wanting to be out of here as soon as possible. “I actually agree. I don’t think her saying sorry is necessary, Wendy. Can I go now? I think Stan and Kenny are still playing basketball…”

Wendy simply responds by rolling her eyes. “Look. I don’t care how long it takes. Kyle deserves an apology from every girl involved in that list, so I don’t want you guys to come out until then.”

And before either of them can blink, Wendy walks out of the classroom, shutting the door behind her with a loud slam.

Jenny lets out a sigh, and Kyle shifts around awkwardly where he’s standing.

“Look. You can leave, if you want. I’ll tell Wendy you said sorry and everything, it’s all good.”

She looks him up and down, trying to discern whether or not he’s telling the truth. She doesn’t want to risk opening the door and telling her friend she apologized just for Kyle to turn around and say she lied. The girl’s relationship with Wendy is already rocky because of what happened, and Jenny doesn’t need Kyle Broflovski of all people to completely ruin it. But, the other option is staying in here with him until the end of the world, so she nods and heads towards the door.

She tries to pry it open, but it doesn’t budge. It takes a couple more tries of pushing and pulling the handle until Jenny realizes what happened.

“The bitch locked it!”

Rolling her eyes at the immaturity of her friend, Jenny turns around, only to come face to face with Kyle. They’re so close that she can count the freckles on his nose, ones she didn’t know he had before then. She also never knew he had green eyes, as they always appear hazel under the harsh brightness of the classroom lightbulbs. But now, with the sun streaming in through the windows and onto his face, she can truly see the flecks of emerald. Huh.

“You’re not trying hard enough. Move.”

“Asshole,” she mutters, making way for him to try to open the door the exact same way she just tried 10 seconds ago, to no avail. Eventually he gives up, and leans his forehead against it in defeat. She buries her face in her hands, growing more irritated by everything as the seconds tick by, when suddenly she has an idea.

“Kyle!” She practically yells, so loud he gets startled and moves away from the door. Jenny presses her mouth against it, trying to amplify her voice as much as possible. “I’m really sorry that I had anything to do with that list, it was just supposed to be for fun, I never meant for you to get hurt.”

Kyle gives her a quizzical look, before realizing why she’s facing the door and not him as she apologizes.

“That’s okay Jenny! I forgive you, and I am totally over my feelings on that dumb list anyway. That’s why girls like Wendy Testaberger don’t need to stick me in classrooms anymore, and should just let me go out and play with my friends.”

Jenny shoots him a small smile at how quickly he caught on, and it sends something stirring in his chest. She peers outside the small peephole on the door, not finding any sight of Wendy in the hallway.

“Shit!” She yells out of frustration, turning around and kicking a nearby chair over. The action makes Kyle take several steps back from her.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Shut up,” she tells him, advancing to where he is and wagging her index finger at his face. “This is all your fault, you know. If you didn’t have to be such a whiny fag about a stupid list, she never would’ve locked us in here.”

“This is not my fault,” he announces. “If you and your dumb girl friends just didn’t make the list in the first place, none of this would’ve happened in the first place.”

“Oh my god,” she cries out. “The list doesn’t even matter. We just made it so that Clyde would finally be popular, and we could all get free shoes! I don’t even think you’re that ugly.”

“Thanks, that makes me feel so much better,” he replies, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Jenny simply scoffs and walks away, pacing up and down the front of the class to try and think of a way to escape, while Kyle leans his back to a nearby desk. There's a few moments of silence, before he decides to break it with a question that’s been plaguing his mind ever since he learnt of his placement.

“Why me, though?”

He practically whispers the question, but Jenny stops her strolling and brings her eyes up to face him. His own are studying the floor, and they drag up to her expectantly when he hears the footsteps stop.

“Huh?”

“It’s just,” Kyle sighs, turning his face to the side so she can’t see his expression. “I was at the bottom. The very bottom of the list. Why couldn’t I at least have been, like, above Cartman or something?”

“Because Cartman’s psycho,” Jenny states matter of factly, staring bewildered at Kyle. “I thought you of all people would know that. We couldn’t put him at the bottom because he’d kill us all. We figured second to last would be enough to keep him sane, while still making it all seem believable.”

“Yeah, but… Why me? Why couldn’t Tweek or someone else be at the bottom? Am I really that ugly that I absolutely had-”

“Kyle!” Jenny shouts, sick of his ranting. Seeing that she’s startled him once again, she sighs and collapses on a nearby chair. “Listen, you’re good looking. We just put you at the bottom because we figured you’d care the least. It never felt like you were into your looks that much, and you’re really nice, so we thought that you wouldn’t make such a big deal out of being last. It was a fake list anyways, don’t get your panties in such a twist, god.”

Another moment of silence occurs, as both of them let her words hang in the air. Jenny drops her head down, utterly done with it all, while Kyle completely turns around so that the black-haired girl can’t see his blushing face. He’s not used to girls casually admitting that he’s good looking, or that he’s nice and humble. The heat crawls up his neck, due to both embarrassment and sudden timidity, so he opens a nearby window to get some fresh air.

The breeze feels nice on his hot face, and he doesn’t realize that Jenny’s come up behind him until he turns around to see her head near his shoulder. Her face looks oddly similar to how it did right before she started yelling out her apology for Wendy to hear through the door, and Kyle’s eyes dart from her furrowed brows to the open window.

“You know it’s like a 10 foot drop, right?” He says, anticipating her next words about how they should try to jump to their freedom. “Plus, that massive bush underneath isn’t going to do anything to cushion the fall.”

Her eyebrows are still pinched for a second more, before her face breaks into a wide grin.

“Pussy,” she calls him, right before tumbling out. Kyle cranes his neck out to check if she’s alright, but when his vision is obstructed by the bush, he curses and decides to follow her lead.

Luckily, neither are injured, and they find each other amongst the greenery they are sitting in. Kyle’s ushanka has slipped off, revealing his leaf covered bright-red curls. Jenny had seen his hair a couple times before, but seeing it in such close proximity made her wonder why he would ever want to keep it covered up. The lack of distance between them was also affecting him, and he pulls a small twig from her bangs and holds it between them. Both of them gaze at it, before letting out roaring laughs at how stupid the entire situation is. Kyle feels his face turning red again, and Jenny starts clutching her sides.

“Hey! What’re you doing in that bush?”

The voice of Mr Mackey sobers them both up quickly, and they duck to avoid their counselors' rapidly approaching gaze.

“You better not be smoking pot, mmkay?”

“Fuck,” Kyle whispers, as he already knows what kind of assumptions Mr Mackey will make if he finds both him and Jenny together, alone in a bush. She seems to think the same, and grabs his hand.

“Run.”

The simple command prompts both of them to get up and start sprinting away from Mr Mackey, who yells out at them, but doesn’t follow. Jenny’s a faster runner than she seems, but Kyle has no problem matching her pace, and soon enough she leads him into a random alley in town. They both take a minute to catch their breaths, during which Kyle can’t help but sneak glances at the girl. She’s slumped down on the side of the building, and her skin is given a golden glow as the sweat from running causes her bangs to stick to her forehead and it drips down the side of her cheek. He wonders if maybe she isn’t as one-dimensional as he originally thought, and sticks out a hand to aid her in getting up. She glances up at the green-eyed, freckled boy, and as she grabs his hand, wonders how she could ever think of putting him on the bottom of the list. Fake or not.

[wegonbealright-09]

So I've been thinking quite a lot about a lot of things since Tae debuted since the release of slow dancing and I've decided to put my thoughts into words

......

So since Tae released and debuted officially there's been a lot going on around his debut at the same time nothing at all. I'm very surprised by the company's quietness. Hybe's quietness. Geffen records quietness I haven't seen a single post from the companies with regards to the debut and the release.

It's so bad like really bad. I'm pretty sure he's rethinking his decisions maybe wishes he has taken a different route because his debut is not that much different from the rap line. It'll be by luck if he sees the bb100 top 30. I mean the schedule was fucked up. How do you release the same day as the industries plant and expect good results. Kths trydefending themselves by saying that he didn't have a Collab before his debut like the other members. That's not an excuse good enough it's not a valid excuse at all considering that fact he "the most popular idol". You should have to have excuses when it comes to delivering. I knew they wouldn't do good in streams but I thought they could do better in MV views considering the fact that when they called him the most famous idol they would bring fancam views and engagements as evidence. By the way is it only me who notices that not only army has stopped posting updates about jimin they have stopped completely engaging in his posts and brand posts.?

So with what's going on rn. Many thought that scooter probably has beef or a problem with jimin but it doesn't only seem like that but it's also crystal clear that they're indeed pushing the "Jungkook biggest pop star" agenda. It's clear now that they've invested in jk only. Which makes me raise an eyebrow with regards to the group's future

Whilst on JK. I truly don't get him now. Idk I feel like whatever ever it is that he's doing its definitely not good and it's going to backfire in the long run. First of all his behaviour during the second chapter is very mhhhh. Idk he's been serving weird vibes and I feel like this is the real him. He's done concealing and putting on a facade and his personality is pure shite. First of all he smokes that's not very surprising to me. He's always wanted to be viewed as this tough guy, nonchalant guy who got zero chill and gives zero fucks. He's drank on live showed alcohol on a live not even Jin the CEO of Jinhit does that he's always made sure not to show alcohol when he drinks on a live. He's smoking nicotine and all that shite he probably smokes a blunt too. He's got a whole sleeve of tattoos. All these things I think he's tryna appears tough and all. But he behaves like a teen going through adolescent. You're 26 grow tf up and stop lurking on the internet, tryna be a bad boy you're half way to your thirties. Behave like your age.

And a part of me thinks this may all be fabricated, with the bad boy, fuck boy image he tryna have for his debut looking at seven the lyrics and all that now seen in the streets of NY smoking clearly looking at a camera knowing his being photographed, looks staged to me. When he was in SK he clearly panicked in that live when his vape was visible, that doesn't seem nonchalant to me because of he doesn't really give a fuck he should have gave a fuck then also, because he tries hiding the vape then. He might just be seen making out with a female or in a club somewhere with strippers shaking their ass on him. Which reminds me of the wild JB during his debut years scandal after scandal. Classic.

With all that's going on rn idk if BTS is really going to come back as a group in 2025 if they come back as a group jk is going to stand out like a sore thumb because you can't try and convince me that the members are absolutely okay with this. Them getting the bare minimum and jk getting everything. There's already been a shift in the group's energy you can see who's who. That ot7 shite don't exists no more. Tell me why would scooter invest millions on a guy that'll be gone in the next 7-8 months unless he's not going to serve with the rest of the group or when BTS comes back they'll be ot7 with the maknae gone. Gone to be the biggest pop star.

If BTS comes back in 2025 it'll be very much forced. Namjoon before FACE. He looked like he was done with the group barely mentioning it he looked like he was happy being a solo because his album was doing good. The FACE was released nigga was on some "I want better numbers" blah blah. He became jealous and insecure. Then there's yoongi with his bitchy attitude towards jimin which I won't even address. Then there's Tae and Jimin whom it is very clear that they're divorced the friendship is gone they're no longer close everybody can see. Now tell me how would it look like if they bahave like besties in their comeback when we clearly know they're not that close anymore? The there's JK, I know none of the members are okay with this preferred treatment him being treated like the next MJ. So you tryna when they come back as group if they will, it'll be rainbows and sunshine's, ot7 forever? Hell no.

There's alot going on rn. Tae trying to feed his delulu shippers by name dropping jk 100 times before his debut. Jk in his emo era again can't wait for jimin's birthday I want to see something

Well well well

[9w1ft]

I stopped trying to triangulate things towards the position that the girls are in some way trapped in their situation sometime between late 2021 and early 2022, both of them started seeming a lot less stressed in general around that time so I assumed that whatever untenable situation they may have been in has passed for the most part and that their current actions regarding not dismantling things surrounding their closet is due to their own will more than some people on this side of the fandom would like to think.

I agree completely with focusing more on the milestones they've made in our eyes, fretting over what decisions they may or may not make in regard to their closets only leads to despondency imo

yeah… apologies as i am a drink or two into this… i think for me, its important to recognize the different seasons of life that we are all passing through, and they will also be passing through. in regards to taylor, i think that there was a time and a place in taylor’s life for meticulous plans and for debunking or a sort of, back and forth with taylor that taylor probably liked in some respects, at one time. in that season in her life.

but it’s not 2015 anymore.

and i experienced a little bit of this realization at the end of 2018, the idea that maybe something shifted.. but not in a bad way necessarily.. and then again in 2019.. but again, not in a bad way.. like id see the latest oh they’ve broken up that someone was spreading and be like, no, it’s not that… it just feels like a priority re-scramble? or it felt like taylor was finding a new sense of direction, so i decided to change my focus a little bit and then again in 2020 the famous interview quote where taylor said “for the first time in my life i don’t know what happens next” and people really sunk their teeth into that one but i completely got it. because soon things would change! covid and lockdown and protests and then karlie was carrying, and i started looking around… and 2021 came and i took a look around more and i just remember thinking, you know, maybe it’s not best to apply the same logic to taylor’s moves that was placed on her in the past. even if taylor seems to be setting up things in similar ways. because maybe there is something about life that taylor still doesn’t know for herself quite yet, and that she’s going to be entering new seasons and with that comes priority shifts and changes in worldview that you cannot really control or anticipate.

or at the very least, in the most hypothetical of hypotheticals, that there might be things that we, as a group of fans with an acutely niche point of view, can all do to follow our girl in a way that better supports her and removes some amount of burden from her to please us, or to make it easier to do so god forbid, if that’s even something she thinks about, in order to free her up a little bit… so that she can focus on the things that we have always wanted for her anyway.

and as a bonus, for me personally, changing the way i thought about things and focusing more on what they have accomplished and the value in that, instead of the next thing, kinda just made me feel so much better on a daily basis? idk?? sorry fam its probably the whiskey talking here 😭

[definitelynotshouting]

OK! ANON HERE WITH THE FIRST ROUND OF ANALYSIS/SCREAMING INTO THE VOID. (I have more quotes but i dont want to overwhelm you and do them all at once)

-☀️

"This fantasy carries him through the rest of the night, past false dawn and into the early onset of staccato birdsong. Grian stares blearily at the bleeding warmth creeping in through the window; gentle golden hands that march over the floorboards and press their palms against the walls. They're less frenetic than the moonlight had been— the shadows here are dappled, innocent things, splaying over stripped bark and playing in the whorls within planks. They breathe depth into this tiny, wooden box, shifting slowly under daylight's cautious curve into the sky, until scintillating rays curl like shackles around his wrists."

- the word choice in this is just so masterful. It's so TENSE, Grian's emotions and thoughts are a complete mess, and this is mirrored even in how you describe the environment. It feels like nothing is safe, which is brilliant, because Grian's currently driving through life on a cord as thin as silk. Its the way even the birdsong is frantic and unsafe "staccato". The "gentle" hands that harden to "march" and "press". Things start out kindly, and then the words become harsh and cold, and this just perfectly reflects how mistrustful Grian is. Nothing makes sense to him; everything is out to get him.

-☀️

"Grian snorts without meaning to, then claps a hand over his mouth, something ugly coagulating in his heart. He doesn't deserve this kind of laughter, this reluctant amusement simmering in his chest. It burns him from the inside out, scorching the back of his throat; hot coals between clenched teeth. Grian inhales embers, exhales ash, and summons every spare ounce of willpower at his disposal to keep his voice from shaking."

- Oh, this. This hurts so much. I can talk about how bird boy's mental state is so poor he's even depraving himself of laughter, and how this is an extension of how he started out starving himself of food, then sleep, now laughter. The fire imagery here is so potent as well. He's burning himself from the inside out, which i feel like is such good imagery for what is actually happening: his code breaking apart. Mans IS literally coming apart from the inside. Ough

-☀️

"It's a pretty effect; it makes Grian's gut plummet all the way down to his lap."

- CRYING CRYING CRYING

- They know each other so well. Grian and Scar learnt each other's tells under the desert sun. He understands how tension and anger and sadness plays on Scar's face and body language when theyre in the games, and in those games everyone's emotions are caused by grian. But now theyre not even in the games and all grian can see is how HIS existence is hurting the people he loves most

-☀️

That's all im going to do for now. Thank you for tearing out my heart and smashing it on the pavement <3

(Also idk if you want me to leave an anon identifier? Maybe i can just stick with the ☀️ if no one else has taken it?)

HEY ANON. WHAT IF I CRIED AND SOBBED AND WEPT!!!!!! HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO !!!!!!!! /POS /POS /POS!!!!!!! LOSING MY MIND RN IM GRINNING FROM EAR TO EAR SO EXCITEDLY THIS JUST MADE MY ENTIRE DAY

hooooly shit i cannot thank you enough this is so kind and wonderful and just!!!!!! listen i LIVE for people analyzing my writing bc i try to put SO MUCH into it, as much as i can possibly cram without oversaturating, and to see people pick up on this stuff is like being handed an immaculately wrapped present every single time. This is truly making my mind go crazy im so fucking happy rn oh my gods, thank you so much this is such an incredible treat

Im not sure if the sun emoji has been taken or not (i think i had another one a long time ago???? but im not sure if you're the same one or not djehdjdjr) but!!! Absolutely feel free to leave an emoji identifier, whatever you want!! :D i rlly enjoy seeing regulars in the inbox so absolutely feel free to do that if ur comfortable!!!!!

[cloud-navi]

So I finally finished Transformers EarthSpark, lowkey love it. (Plot and human Malto’s)

⚠️ SPOILERS ⚠️

Overall Plot

- I think they did pretty good with the plot overall, I think the biggest plot hole is what happened to Ravage when Soundwave let them out in the cell block. I think it would have been interesting and explained better if they kept what they had planned from the story board instead of cutting it.

I like that they moved the antagonist from the Decepticons themselves to GHOST but I still feel like that left loose ends after the show. Like what happened to the Decepticons vs Autobots war or how did they’re treatment change after defeating Mandriod.

From what I know theres not much information about why the war in this iteration really started except that its tied to G1 through comics and ‘history’. Regardless of how it started I feel like Transformers as a whole is kind if an allegory for real life in many ways, example: Decepticon movement and revolution was (at least that I know in prime) was because the Council forced them as slaves and entertainment which makes their struggle a fictional parallel to events like the Civil Rights movement and revolutionary wars (happened/happening/might happen sometime in many countries).

I just find the idea that I’m supposed to root for the Autobots that want to protect humans after bringing their war to our planet over the Decepticons and their very understandable movement regardless of what their leader is doing at the moment is just kind of weird. Megatron, while is their leader has on multiple occasions changed what the movement has been kinda been about like in TFP he shifted focus from equal rights and changing out of a caste system to wanting to Offline Optimus Prime.

A leader can start a movement but its the people that drive it, if the leader is tainted and no one can/chooses to stand up for the actual cause then the cause is doomed. At the same time the people may not see the change in corse or understand the difference how it isn’t what they were fighting for if the leader words it in ways that makes it sound like the opponent is standing in the way of their success.

In TFP Megatron really wants to offline Optimus Prime, besides the fact that most of the crew on the nemesis is currently drones, the crew that the drones were clones of actively chose to follow him regardless. The crew, regardless if any spoke out, believed that Optimus Prime would be an obstacle in their way of creating a ‘better’ world. So at the end its mostly just manipulation from Megatron to get what he wants and the crew can’t really tell or are not strong enough to do anything about it.

ANYWAY, Characters,

Malto Family (human)

- Robby

I like Robbie, I think he has good character, especially growth. That being said I hate how he acted in the first episode. As a kid that was moved around a lot I understand its hard when you move away from some where that you grew up and know a lot of people to a new place, except the way he handled it was completely just no. He was 13 and came from a big city, understandable that he would miss home and the country would be a big change. But the selfishness in the idea that the only reason he stopped trying to run away from Witwicky wasn’t for his sister, but for giant robots. Just the way he treated Mo in the first episode is un called for and he should have had a sit down talk with their parents about how he felt and what comprises could be made for him to like it out there too. Like idk plan days to go hangout with friends in the city? Clearly you live close enough to bike there if you thought your friends parents wouldn’t send you back home if you actually managed to abandon Mo and get to the city.

- Mo

I love Mo and as a younger sibling completely understands how she sees things throughout the show. Episode one is like a double ended blade, Robby has no obligation to put other peoples feelings above his own about any situation <within reason of topic> however if you’re that close to your younger sibling its not only rude but concerning to push your family away over a move. Yes its a big move but Robby chose not to lean on family. Also the fact that he was so willing to run away and abandon his sister and yell at her for following him is disgusting. I’m sorry, yes a big move sucks, not being with all your friends sucks, but its not like he was too far to visit them and the way he treated Mo was unacceptable. Mo is his younger sister and is not the reason for the move, as an older sibling it shouldn’t have taken a cybersleeve for Robby to understand that Mo was affected by the move too. As a younger sibling, we see it all, we hear it all, we internalize everything. Robby leaving would have left Mo with the mentality that she was easy to leave behind because her own brother valued city life and his friends more then her being there. Theres no way in reality that she would have forgive him so easily for trying to leave after the Terrans were born. The only reason Robby didn’t keep running away was because something ‘interesting’ happened (the Terrans), the idea that two new friends/family members being the largest reason for him deciding to stay wouldn’t impact her mental is crazy.

- Dorothy and Alex

Cute couple, love their love and support for each other. Alex is a silly guy but clearly is a great sad just like Dot is a great mom.

The whole issue of moving to Witwicky was blamed on Dot which isn’t completely wrong but its not like they moved out of state or too far away for the kids to visit the city every so often. Yes its important to want your kids to want/like the move but sometimes its better that you do or theres outside factors that play in it and you have to move regardless. Dorothy didn’t have to have them move but she (very reasonably) wanted a change of pace and scene, they stayed within reasonable range of the city (clearly) so its not a giant problem especially if half the 2/3 other family members think its fair to let her finally have something she’s wanted for a while, a change of scene. Dorothy does so much for her kids and the lack of empathy from Robby to think he can’t possibly live without texting or seeing his friends 24/7 is crazy. Oh you have friends? Okay cool, maybe work on your communication skills with mom and find a schedule that lets you sit in the dining room and talk to your friends and make plans to visit every so often. Also clearly thats a fucking lie because instead of doing his family tradition with dad he stayed home and entered a game tournament IN HIS ROOM, so OBVIOUSLY HE HAS WIFI or connection to the internet and is able to play/connect with friends.

I feel very strongly on how Robby acted in the first episode and can’t see anyway for Mo to not be affected.

[drabbles-mc]

Miles of Red String

An OG Narcos & Narcos MX Crossover fic (ft. OC Diego Ramírez)

For @ashlingnarcos as part of the Candy Hearts Exchange

Warnings: 18+, language, smoking, alcohol, angst, the typical Narcos Universe Things

Word Count: 6.8k

A/N: Taking all of my OG Narcos S3 faves and giving them my beloved mess of an NMX man Walt Breslin. Pobrecito Expressway making its first stop at this fic. I have so many feelings about all of this and idk how to articulate any of them. I love all of these messy, messy men so much. Catching me adding yet another layer to the Diegoverse for none other than one of Diego's other parents.

Narcos/NMX/Diegoverse Taglist: @garbinge @narcolini @hausofmamadas @mysun-n-stars @nessamc @thesandbeneathmytoes @anditsmywholeheart @winchestershiresauce @sizzlingcloudmentality @alm0501 @panagiasikelia @616wilsons @hauntedforsst @mirabee @buckybarneshairpullingkink @boomclapxox @southotheborder @supersanelyromantic @padbrookcottage @raincoffeeandfandoms @justreblogginfics @marrianena @passionatewrites @artemiseamoon (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

The death of Escobar didn’t mean that the work in Colombia was over. Far from it, actually. All the death of Escobar meant was that Escobar was dead. The other cartel leaders, the Cali Godfathers, had been operating almost completely unchecked in the meantime because the country, the world, was so obsessed with catching and stopping Escobar.

However, even though there was still a seemingly endless amount of work to be done, it was very evident that the previous years, the chase, all of the loss, had taken a toll on everyone. While in some cases people would assume, “Well, you’re already in Colombia, you might as well stay here and start working on the next thing,” that wasn’t the case when the shift from taking down Pablo changed to taking down the Cali cartel.

Everyone met with their superiors when it came time to discuss options and make decisions for the next move. A lot of people left, too exhausted to go right from one brutal manhunt to the next. A lot of agents, a lot of officers, transferred or went back home shadows of their former selves. No one was the same after all of that.

Steve went home. He had a wife, a family, and still managed to keep a few shreds of his humanity. He cut his losses and went back to the states. No one could blame him for that. Peña, despite his less than desirable slap on the wrist and suspension over Los Pepes, was asked to return to help with the Gentlemen of Cali. The ask was surprising, as was his agreeing to do it.

Search Bloc wasn’t what it had been. The rules of engagement for tackling the Cali cartel were different than for Escobar. Having a massive, police-based hit squad on deck at all times wasn’t going to be necessary the way it had been in the years prior. That being the case, Colonel Martinez was still around, and still very much involved with the police and the plan going forward to continue dismantling the next cartel that was on the chopping block, but it wasn’t the same as it had been before. In truth, he was probably beyond thankful for that, because it wasn’t something that he had ever really wanted or asked for.

Then, there was one person who, through no choice or real fault of his own, existed in a very strange limbo between the CNP and the DEA. Again, something that he hadn’t ever planned on or asked for. Diego Ramírez had spent the better part of the last few years pinballing back and forth between Search Bloc and the DEA. No longer a true part of the Bloque de Buscada, not an actual member of the DEA, he had been on an island between the two. All of the danger with almost none of the camaraderie.

Diego met with Martinez to discuss next moves. The two were professional—after all, Martinez was always professional. But the advice and insight that Martinez could try to provide was coming from a more distant place than when he advised his other men. It wasn’t the Colonel’s fault. It wasn’t Diego’s either. Colonel Carrillo, for better or worse, was probably one of the only people who could’ve given Diego real advice on what his next move should be. But, even if the man had still been alive, he probably wouldn’t have offered up much. The man never did learn how to let go of a grudge.

But now Diego was sitting across from Messina. He hadn’t expected to be pulled aside by her. He assumed that whatever they were about to talk about, it was going to be about what his plans were. He wished that he had a concrete answer to give her.

“Officer Ramírez,” she finally addressed him as she looked up from the folders in front of her.

“Yes, ma’am?” He looked more confused than anything else. “What can I do for you?”

“I was talking with Colonel Martinez, with Agent Murphy before he left. The word around town is that you haven’t decided what you’re doing next.”

He shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”

“Any particular reason for that?”

He took a deep breath, trying to figure out if he knew how to articulate exactly what he was thinking. He had a hard enough time sorting out his thoughts for himself, let alone getting them in order enough to explain them to someone else and have them get it.

“I don’t have any intentions of leaving the force…or Colombia,” he told her with certainty. Of all the things he was unsure about these days, he had that. “This is my home—I don’t want to leave it if I don’t have to.”

“But?”

He leaned forward slightly. “We all lost a lot because of Escobar,” he said honestly, allowing a small fraction of the pain from the last years to shine through for a moment, “and I don’t…I don’t know if I want to put myself right back into that position again. I was lucky last time, but no one gets lucky every time.”

She nodded. “I’m not here to strong-arm you into making one decision over the other. Hell,” she laughed dryly, “I’m not long for Colombia at this point. But,” she paused, her tone sobering back up, “you’re right—this is your home. You’ve done a lot of good so far, and I think that you could keep doing a lot of good.”

There was a long stretch of silence between them. Messina was watching Diego, and Diego’s eyes were glued to the top of Messina’s desk even though he wasn’t really looking at anything in particular. All of the papers and folders blurred together as he tried to think about the ramifications of whatever he ended up deciding to do. Messina studied his face, seeing the slight shifts in his expression as he thought it all over. She didn’t rush or prompt him to say anything. He’d come to his own conclusions eventually.

Finally, Diego let out a deep sigh, his eyes refocusing as he looked directly at Messina. “Who should I talk to about Cali?”

She smiled, feeling a small sense of triumph over the whole thing. She gave a small wave, an almost dismissive gesture without it being rude. “I’ll take care of it. I have all of the paperwork here.”

“Is that what you were filling out when I came in?” he asked, a bit of a grin tugging at his lips.

She shrugged but there was a knowing look on her face. “I had a feeling.”

He stood up, and she did the same, Reaching across her desk, he held his hand out for her to shake. “Thank you, ma’am. I know it hasn’t been easy, but I appreciate everything that you’ve done.”

She nodded, giving his hand a firm shake. The only person in the entire office that could call her ma'am and it didn't make her skin crawl. “You’re a good kid, Ramírez. Truthfully, I wish more of my guys could be a little more like you.”

He laughed and shook his head. “I have some people who would beg to differ.”

They both chuckled for a moment before she nodded to him as she sat back down in her chair. “I’ll make sure all of your paperwork gets put through. They’ll be reaching out to you about Cali ASAP, I’m sure.”

He nodded. “Thank you.”

“Stay safe.”

The small laugh he let out was mostly genuine, but a little heavy. “I’ll do my best.”

He was reaching out for the handle of Messina’s office door when she said, “I’m sure that Peña will be glad to see at least one familiar face when he comes back.”

Diego’s eyes popped a little wider as he froze for a moment. Half-turning, he looked back. “Peña?”

She looked up from the paperwork that she’d already begun filling out for him. “Yea. Stechner pushed it through himself.”

“Huh.” He didn’t know what else to say. Messina gave him a short nod, and Diego finally got himself back on task and pulled the office door open so that he could let himself out.

Diego wished that she was right about Javier being glad to see him. He knew that that wasn’t going to be the case, but he still hoped. New case, new location, mostly new team—Diego hoped that maybe the two of them could have something resembling a fresh start. It was a pipe dream if ever there was one.

The only saving grace of it all was that Javier wasn’t overly chummy with anyone upon his return. It made his coldness towards Diego less noticeable. Javi didn’t dislike the two new agents that he had on his team, but change was hard. He understood why Steve didn’t stick around, but as he sat in his glass-walled office, he really wished that he had.

Diego liked the two new agents well enough. They were eager, a little green in some respects, but they were good men. He could work with that. The dynamics were completely different now than they had been in Medellín. The job itself was also very different. The stakes were still high, but the feeling of immediate danger wasn’t as intense as before. It created a false sense of security that none of them could afford to fall into.

It was early in the morning—everyone was just getting settled. Diego, Feistl, and Van Ness were all in their own little area. Not the same cramped quarters that Steve and Javier had been given back in Medellín, something that still made Diego chuckle to himself when he thought about it sometimes. It was still close quarters, but it wasn’t bad.

As the day went on, Diego found himself listening to the two of them talk about all sorts of things between actual work tasks. He always listened to the banter—every now and then one of them would try and rope him in to break some sort of tie, end whatever debate they were locked in. Not that it ever really mattered because they would always just pick something new to bicker about.

He was shaking his head at the two of them when Javi’s office door slid open. All of them stopped and looked over to see him leaning out the doorway, bracing himself against the frame of it. He gave a small nod in greeting before locking his eyes on Diego.

“Ramírez, a minute.” He nodded in a gesture to beckon him over.

Diego didn’t hesitate, standing up and heading over to Javi’s office. By the time he reached the doorway, Javier was already back in his seat behind the desk.

Javi waved him in. “Shut the door.”

Diego did as he was asked before walking and sitting down in one of the two chairs on the opposite side of Javi’s desk. “What’s going on?”

“I need you to do a pick-up for me.”

He couldn’t hide his confusion. “A pick-up?”

Javi was looking at the paperwork that had been dropped off on his desk earlier. He was talking to Diego without really looking at him, something outsiders might see as a bad habit but the two of them knew was a calculated move. “Got a guy flying in from México.”

That only made his confusion intensify. “Who?”

He looked up only to hand Diego the folder with the man’s file in it. “DEA Agent Walt Breslin.”

Diego opened the folder, giving it a brief glance. “Is he transferring here?”

“Nope.”

Diego looked up from the pages in front of him and over at Javi. He waited for the man to elaborate on his own, but when he didn’t, he asked, “So…why is he here?”

“He thinks that his guys in Juárez and our guys in Cali are keeping each other in business.”

Diego frowned in thought as he mulled over what Javi had just said, what he was seeing on the pages in front of him. He looked back over at the agent behind the desk even though he knew Javi wasn’t going to look back at him. “Just him coming in?”

Javi shrugged. “Last I heard.” He looked at the time on his watch. “Better get going—plane gets in soon.”

Diego knew he was going to regret asking the question but he did it anyway. “Why can’t Feistl or Van—”

“I got them doing other shit today,” Javi said before Diego could even finish the question.

Moments like that gave Diego little flashbacks to their hunt for Escobar. Reminded Diego that Javi and Carrillo had more similarities than differences, some of those similarities being how they felt about and spoke to him. He’d love to say that it wasn’t personal, but it was. Still, he didn’t let it bother him. Not anymore.

“Alright,” he said as he flipped the folder shut. “Anything else?”

Javi shook his head. “Nope.”

“Okay.” He got up and stepped towards the door. “I’ll be back with Agent Breslin, then.”

Javi nodded but didn’t say anything else. Diego shook his head as he slid the door open and slipped out of the man’s office, the folder with Breslin’s information tucked underneath his arm. When he looked back at the area where their desks were, he saw that Feistl and Van Ness were looking at him, trying not to look too eager or curious and failing miserably at it.

“Everything okay?” Feistl broke the silence when Diego walked back over.

The officer nodded, grabbing his jacket and searching for the keys to one of the government-issued vehicles, not really wanting to pick up a visiting agent in his own beat-up car. “All good. Peña said we got another agent flying in—gotta go pick them up.”

“Who?” they both asked in unison.

Diego chuckled, setting the folder on Feistl’s desk. “He’s been working on cartels in Mexico. Started off in Texas first, El Paso. Then moved across the border.”

“Now he’s moving down the continent?” Feistl said as he read the pages in front of him.

Diego nodded. “Seems like it.”

The airport was busy the same way that it always was. It struck Diego that this guy wasn’t even going to know who he was looking for. The risk level was lower now than it had been in years past for agents coming and going. Even still, Diego kept a close eye and his head on a swivel. Just in case.

Then, right on time, Diego saw him. He was smaller than Diego had imagined based off the tiny headshot photo in the man’s file, a little shorter, too. He had the same haggard look that everyone who was chasing down cartel leaders and sicarios and massive amounts of drugs seemed to have. That, at least, was exactly what Diego had been expecting. He watched as the man scanned the area, giant duffle bag hanging off his shoulder.

“Walt?” he spoke up, flashing a smile and waving him down.

His head snapped in the direction of someone saying his name. His expression got a little less intense when he saw the Colombian police uniform, when he saw the bright look on Diego’s face. Walking, over, Diego held out his hand for Walt to shake. A little bit of the tension disappeared from Walt’s body—at least this guy was safe.

“Agent Breslin,” Diego said as he shook his hand. “Beinvenido a Colombia.”

He let out a dry chuckle as he nodded, giving Diego’s hand a firm shake. “Gracias.” He paused for a moment. “Lo siento, pero, quién eres?”

Diego laughed, shaking his head at himself. “Diego Ramírez. Lo siento.” There was a split-second pause and when Diego saw that Walt was looking for a little elaboration, he said, “Trabajo un poco con la policia aquí, un poco con la DEA.”

Walt nodded, taking it all in. “Busy guy.”

Diego shrugged, a smile still on his face. “Most times.” He waved for Walt to follow him. “C’mon, I’ll take you to the base to meet everyone.”

Despite how exhausted Walt was as he sat in the passenger seat of the car that Diego was driving, he was still sitting up, looking out the window and windshield as the officer drove them through Cali. Colombia had never really been on Walt’s list of places to visit, but now that he was here, he figured he might as well try to take as much of it in as possible with what little time he had there.

“Your Spanish,” Diego commented as he turned off one road and onto the next, “it sounds good.”

Walt chuckled. “You sound surprised.”

Diego laughed and shrugged, sparing a glance at the agent sitting next to him. “Last gringo with a drawl that transferred down here didn’t know any Spanish. I don’t get my hopes up anymore.”

Given what the kid must’ve been through over the last years, Walt was surprised that he was still able to be as light-hearted as he was. He tried to match the energy, a tinge of humor to his voice as he said, “All us white guys are the same, huh?”

Diego’s grin grew a little wider as he laughed again. “Más o menos, sí?”

Walk shook his head, a smirk on his face as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. “Yea, more or less.” He held the pack out to Diego. “Want one?”

He shook his head. “I’m good, thanks.”

Walt shrugged, tucking the pack back into his pocket before flicking his lighter. Neither of them said much more for the rest of the ride, Walt assuming that most of the questions that he had for Diego would be answered by him or someone else when they got to the base. He bided his time by smoking his cigarette and flipping through stations on the radio.

When they got to the floor where Javi and the other agents were, everyone turned to look as the elevator doors opened. By that point, everyone around knew that another agent from Mexico was being brought in. No one really knew the full scope of why except Walt—even Javi still had some pressing questions. Even so, the layers of unknown to it all made it an even bigger piece of news to everyone else who knew next to nothing.

For a floor full of agents, one would think that they’d be better at subtlety, but they weren’t. Walt felt himself getting defensive before anyone had even said anything. He tried to hope that those stares didn’t mean the same thing in Colombia as they did in Mexico, or back home, but he didn’t get his hopes up too high.

Javi walked up to them once they got closer, instantly extending out a hand to Walt. “Agent Breslin,” he shook his hand, “I’m Javier Peña.” He turned and motioned to the two other men standing by. “This is Chris Feistl, and Daniel Van Ness.” He waited for them to exchange their handshakes and “Nice to meet you’s”. Then he nodded towards Diego. “I’m assuming Officer Ramírez already introduced himself.”

Walt nodded. “He did.” He looked around at all of them for a moment. “Appreciate you guys making the time for this. I know collaborating to actually get shit done isn’t the government’s strong suit, so…” his voice trailed off.

The comment got a few knowing smiles and chuckles out of the group. When they all fell quiet, Javi spoke up, nodding towards his office. “C’mon, let’s get some stuff straightened out. Then we can all start trying to string all this shit together.”

Walt nodded as he followed in Javi’s footsteps. He gave another nod and said, “Nice meeting you,” to the rest of them as he walked off.

Once the office door was shut, both agents immediately turned and looked at Diego for answers to questions that they hadn’t even asked yet. It was in all of their natures to be curious, nosey even, but their obviousness and eagerness still got a laugh out of Diego as he dropped the keys onto the surface of his desk and sat down.

“Yea?”

“So?” Feistl asked, leaning so that his palms were flat against the top of Diego’s desk.

Diego was trying to tone down the smile fighting its way onto his face. “So?”

“What’d he say? What’s going on? What’s he here for?”

Diego shook his head as he opened his desk drawer and pulled a few of the files out. “You think we got into all of that on the drive from the airport to here?” He leaned back in his seat. “It’s not like he’s going to get into that with me before talking to Peña anyway.”

“Yea, but you’re, you know,” he tried to say it like it was so obvious, “you’re Colombian Police. That ranks.”

Diego chuckled, but the repeated shake of his head spoke volumes. He was an optimist still, sure, because that’s just who he always was and who he’d always be. But the naivety that he’d been plagued with when he joined the CNP, joined Search Bloc, got beaten out of him over the years. “Yea, because it’s a well-known fact that all the police officers in Colombia are upstanding individuals. None of them would ever—”

“You wouldn’t, though,” Feistl argued.

Diego shrugged. “I know that. You know that.” He nodded towards the office. “Agent Breslin does not know that.” He saw the way that both the men were shaking their heads. “If the two of you flew into Mexico, would you tell the cop who picked you up everything about why you were there?” He sat silently, waiting for the answer. When neither of them said anything, he nodded. “Exactly.”

Feistl knew that he’d lost the argument, but it didn’t stop him from wanting the last word. Being wrong didn’t mean that he didn’t still want to be right anyway. “Still, though,” he said flippantly as he sat back down at his desk.

Meanwhile, Javi gestured for Walt to take a seat in his office. Refocusing once again, he said, “What can I do for you, Agent Breslin?”

Walt didn’t want to get into all of it. He knew that he was going to have to be some kind of honest if he wanted to get answers and information, but he wasn’t ready to start poking and picking at the wounds that were still incredibly fresh. He wondered how little he could divulge and still get what he needed.

“I know that your cartel here in Cali is connected to my cartels in Mexico through at least one guy.”

“The pilot,” Javi said with a nod.

“Yea,” Walt tried not to sound as hollow and bitter as he felt, “Amado Carrillo Fuentes.”

“Like I told you on the phone, we’ve been more focused on the godfathers than anyone else. I’m not sure if any of the information that we have would be of any use to you. We know that our guys make layover stops in Mexico before getting their shit across the border into the states. But anything going on on the ground there is your area of expertise, not ours.”

“Help me paint a bigger picture, then. Whatever you’ve got. Hell,” he shrugged, the action looking much less desperate than he felt, “maybe what I’ve got could help you guys out too.”

Javi knew that there was more to it than that. He could tell by the look on Walt’s face that there was plenty that he wasn’t privy to. Javi knew better than to take the secrecy personally—he’d spent years doing the same thing. Most other people in Javi’s position would’ve pressed until they got all the details they wanted, or would’ve sent Walt on their way. But there was something in his apparent exhaustion that made Javi trust him.

“My guys are gonna have a lot of questions for you,” he said as he nodded towards the glass. And, sure enough, two of the three men sitting out there were blatantly staring at Javi’s office, trying to read lips, trying to figure out what was going on.

“You don’t?” was all Walt said in return.

He sighed, shaking his head once. “You’re the one who flew all the way down here for answers—not me.” He gave a few seconds for Walt to say something else. When he didn’t, Javi stood back up. “Come on.”

Javi got up and walked to the door, Walt following close behind. When the two of them stepped out, they had three sets of curious eyes on them. Javi hardly looked at the men on his team as he waved for them to all get up and follow. “Let’s go.”

Notebooks, folders, and pens in hand, the three men all but jumped up and strode quickly to play catchup with the two agents in the lead. Feistl and Van Ness kept looking back and forth at each other, Diego trailing just a half-step behind them watching all of the men in front of him, wondering what was going to happen next.

The room they all walked into, making sure to shut the door behind them, had been a conference room at some point. Now, though, it was a hub for any and everything about Cartel Cali. Photos were arranged into hierarchies, some with x’s through them, others with notes written off to the sides of them. There were maps hung up, folders and photographs and transcriptions scattered all over the table.

Walt looked around, a little bewildered by it all. It made the shitty abandoned warehouse he and his team had been meeting up in look like…well…a shitty abandoned warehouse.

“Shit,” Walt said as he walked up to the wall that housed the web of photos.

“Yea,” Javi said nonchalantly as he leaned back against the desk and stared at the row of photos at the top of the godfathers. “Welcome to Cali.”

Walt turned around to look at the other men in the room. He saw the way that even though they must’ve been looking at the pictures and information in that room nonstop for weeks, or months, they still looked at it with just as much scrutiny and determination as if they’d just walked into the room for the first time. He knew that feeling.

Walt walked up and tapped the photo of Amado that was taped to the wall. The pilot and his fucking shades. “This is the guy that my team and I had started focusing on.”

“The pilot?” Diego asked, clearly curious.

Walt nodded. “He’s not just working for your guys here in Colombia. He’s making deals with the guys in Mexico too. He’s knee-deep with a lot of shit going down in Juárez.”

“Makes sense,” Diego said with a nod. “He’s just transportation, right? Why not get paid by two cartels to do the same shit that he’s been doing? He’ll be able to retire and disappear across the globe somewhere with his best plane while the rest of these guys rot.”

“Yea,” Walt said bitterly, “not if I can do anything about it.” He folded his arms across his chest as he started to explain, with a little more detail, how Amado was their link to the guy that his team was really after. He knew that the men in the room weren’t going to give him Felix Gallardo. But they could still help him get Amado. “I’ve got it on good authority that the last shipment he moved was seventy tons.”

All the eyes in the room widened. Feistl shook his head, “That’s a shitton of coke.”

“I know.” Walt nodded slowly, anger still etched into his features. “And now it’s lost in the fucking wind. Thanks to some fucking,” he shook his head, almost shaking with anger, “some fucking cop playing both sides.”

Javi shook his head, sadness crossing his face for a moment. “Same shit everywhere.”

The group of them all gathered around the table as they dove into their discussion. Walt outlined what he and his team had been doing and looking into, got into the details of what he thought the extent of the Cali cartel’s involvement was with his targets in Mexico. They were two different spots on the same map, two different levels of the same game. There were a few connecting threads, but a lot of the chaos in Mexico was happening with or without the help of the men in Colombia.

“How long are you in Colombia for?” Van Ness asked when they all hit a lull in the conversation.

Walt shrugged and shook his head, tucking his chin down for a moment. “Through the weekend, at least. If we get somewhere with this I might be able to stretch it a little longer, but…” his voice trailed off.

Javi’s brows knit together at that. It was the first real inkling he got that maybe Walt was operating outside of the DEA’s knowledge. Javi wasn’t one to judge, but it would be something that was good to know.

“Why don’t we get back to this tomorrow then?” Javi asked, looking around at all of them.

Everyone was nodding in agreement, but Diego was the first one to speak up as he looked at Walt. “We’ll get you a car you can use for now. Let you get to your hotel, unpack, sleep, whatever. Come back tomorrow with everything you have and we’ll see what we can do.” He gestured vaguely to the wall of photos. “Red-string it.”

Walt couldn’t hide the relief at the thought of being able to lay down for a couple hours after being on the go for as long as he had been. “Alright, yea. That works.”

“We should grab drinks,” Feistl suggested as everyone was getting ready to leave the room. He saw the looks everyone shot his way. “Tonight, I mean,” he clarified.

Everyone exchanged looks and shrugs, no one necessarily looked opposed to the idea. Some of them were expecting Javi to shoot the idea down, but apparently he was trying to extend some hospitality, and he agreed. They picked a time, and a place. It was the same place as always, but Walt didn’t know that.

Walt also didn’t know what to expect when he showed up at the bar that evening. He knew how he’d been with his team, the dynamics there, but he didn’t know these guys. Nothing that had happened made him think that he was going to have any kind of problem with them, but he still didn’t feel certain.

When he walked in, he saw the four of them already sitting at a table together. Javi had been sitting facing the door, so he saw Walt the second that he walked in. Javi held his hand up slightly to get his attention, nodding slightly for him to come over once they made eye contact.

He pulled out the seat at the end of the table, feeling the creeping sense of awkwardness coming over him. He’d hardly sat down all the way when the waitress appeared asking for his drink order. He rattled it off, one of the things in life that he had committed to memory. When she walked away, he finally took a second to breathe and take in the scene in front of him.

They instantly pulled him right into the conversation. They talked a bit about work, but most of it was just them bullshitting around. It was a less-intensive way for Walt to get to know them, and vice-versa, than doing the whole twenty questions routine. It also allowed Walt to do more listening than talking, which was something that he would always be grateful for no matter where he was or who he was with.

Walt was shaking his head at something the other DEA agents had said when he reached to pull his pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of his shirt. He went to grab his lighter from his jeans pocket when he realized that he didn’t have it. He frowned for a moment before looking at the men sitting around him.

“Anyone got a lighter?”

He was 0 for 3 by the time he got to Javi, but luckily he was the one person who always had one on him. He handed it over, nodding in response to Walt’s quick Thanks before turning back to Van Ness and asking, “What happened to your fanny pack? Thought you kept everything in there?”

It wasn’t as though anyone in present company really had any right to be criticizing the others’ fashion choices, but the fact that both Feistl and Van Ness played so heavily into the tourist shtick because it made the most sense for them definitely made them the easiest targets. The comment from Javi also ensured that the conversation wasn’t going to get too heavy for the time being.

None of them had been keeping track of the time until Diego looked down to check his watch. When he saw the hour, a smile crept across his face. He wasted no time in standing up from his chair at the table. “I gotta run.”

Despite the more than pleased look on his face, the sudden change still prompted Javi to ask, “All good?”

Diego opened his mouth to respond but Feistl beat him to the punch. “He’s fine. Ramírez is just high-tailing out of here because his girl is coming to Cali for the weekend.”

Even though Javi didn’t give much of a reaction one way or another to the information, it got laughs out of Walt and Van Ness, and Diego too. It wasn’t the first time that either one of the new DEA agents gave him grief about it, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. It was all in jest, and Diego didn’t mind it—it was a welcome change.

Diego walked around the table, clapping his hand onto Walt’s shoulder as he leaned down, almost like he was telling him a secret even though he was purposely talking loud enough for the whole table to hear, “Ellos solo están enojados porque yo tengo una novia que me visita.” They laughed as Feistl and Van Ness waved him off. Diego spoke to the two of them as he turned to walk away, “Try not to need me.”

Diego’s early departure didn’t mean that the night was over for the rest of them. Feistl and Van Ness were happy to have someone new around to talk to. And, for as closed off as Javi tended to keep himself these days, he had to admit that he was enjoying himself much more than he thought he would. Most of his late-night drinks were solo now, but having their company and being able to listen to the banter that was apparently an all-day, everyday affair, was amusing. He also took the opportunity to try and piece apart what he thought the deal with Walt really was. He didn’t think that the agent was lying when they spoke earlier, but he also didn’t think that he was telling the full truth, either. Javi understood it—he would’ve played it the same way if the roles were reversed.

Eventually, both Feistl and Van Ness took off as well, leaving just Javi and Walt sitting at the table together. Neither of them was in much of a rush to leave. Javi didn’t want to go back to his empty apartment, and even though Walt was still exhausted he wasn’t that eager to head back to his small and very empty hotel room. Usually he had his team in the rooms on either side of him, but now it was just him. He didn’t want to think about that.

Things were quiet between the two of them for a moment—all the chatterboxes had left the building. Walt sipped on the scotch that was still in his glass while Javi worked his way through another whiskey. Both were watching everyone around them now more than they were watching each other.

“Can I ask you something, Breslin?” Javi asked, still not looking at him.

Walt looked at him from across the table. “Shoot.”

Javi finally locked eyes with him. “Why are you here?”

His face scrunched in confusion for a moment. “What?” He shook his head, setting his glass down on the table. “I told you, Amado—”

“I know, I know,” he took a sip of his drink, “you’re connecting the dots. But that could’ve been a phone call. A few phone calls. We could’a faxed you some of our intel and that would’ve been the end of it. You didn’t have to come all the way down here.” He paused. “No one comes to Colombia when they don’t have to. No way you ran out of shit to do in Mexico.”

Walt tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible. “I’m just looking for answers, man.”

He was waiting for Javi to come back with something, another question or a comment about how he was full of shit, but he didn’t. Javi just sat and stared at him. Javi knew how to play the waiting game. Hell, he was more than content to sit there for another hour in silence and order another whiskey while he waited. He wasn’t the one on a time crunch—Walt was.

Walt swirled what little was still left inside his glass around once, twice, before bringing it to his lips and finishing off the entire thing. “I lost,” he exhaled sharply as he set the glass back down, letting it clatter against the top of the table, “about ninety-nine percent of my fuckin' team trying to get this guy. And I’m no closer to—” he stopped himself short, shaking his head. “I need the fuckin' win.”

Javi nodded. If there was anyone on the Cali team who understood that type of loss, that type of desperation, it was him. However, if the hunt for Escobar, if all the political hoops and bullshit with the Cali Godfathers had taught him anything, it’s that no one ever really gets a win. Judging by the look in Walt’s eyes, Javi had a feeling the man might’ve had an inkling about that already.

He waited for Walt to look at him, but when he didn’t, Javi spoke up, his tone not gentle but not as harsh as it could’ve been either. “Hey.” He sighed. “I can’t promise you the win that you’re looking for. Wish I could. Hell, wish that any fucking one of us could get a win these days. But,” he shook his head, “I can’t.”

“I just need enough to hurt these guys.”

Javi could feel how personal this all was for the man sitting across from him. He knew that feeling. He remembered the feeling of futility as the number of dead officers kept going up and up and up. He remembered what it felt like after Carrillo was killed. Losing your partner, your team, that was something that you never really shook off. It put a different tint on everything. All the steps you took after that had a new depth to them. Everything felt personal. Everything felt painful.

Javi knew what Walt was feeling. He also knew that whatever warpath the man was set on, wasn’t going to work out the way he thought it was going to. Javi had been there, done that, gotten the suspension paperwork to prove it. Still, he didn’t listen when people tried to warn him. He had the feeling that Walt wasn’t in the mood to be heeding any warnings either.

“Me and my guys will tell you what we know, whatever you wanna hear,” Javier told him, “but we don’t really know shit about Mexico.”

Walt shook his head. “Leave that to me. I’ll take whatever you’ve got.”

“Alright.”

There were a few beats of silence before Walt said, “Your guys…they’re good?”

Javi chuckled dryly. “Pfft. Yea,” he shook his head with a tired smile, “annoying and eager as all hell. But they’re good.”

Walt laughed quietly. “Eager is good.”

“Don’t tell them that. Can’t afford to give them any more leash than they’ve got.”

“Your boss say the same about you?” Walt asked, the knowing smirk on his face said that he already had the answer.

“Probably. Begs the question, though, of how you got enough leash to get all the way down here to Cali.”

“Oh,” Walt laughed, “that’s because I don’t ask anymore. They want me? They can fuckin' fly down here and get me.”

Javi smiled a little at that. It wasn’t so long ago that he was doing and saying the same kinds of things. Part of him missed that. The other part of him vividly remembered the fallout of it all—bureaucratic bullshit pouring salt into the wounds left by things that actually mattered. He had a feeling that Walt probably knew about that, too.

“Think they will?” he asked.

Walt shrugged, toying idly with his glass on the table. “Keep me down here long enough and I guess we’ll see.”

Javi nodded, feeling more amused by the notion than he should’ve. “We’ll see.”

[pictureamoebae]

hello reshade overload 🙏 hoping you can help with an issue i’ve been having over the past couple of days.

i was using reshade while recording a LP episode for YouTube. everything was fine and working perfectly until all of a sudden it froze my monitor. i had OBS open on a second monitor and i could still move my camera around and interact with the game through the OBS window, but the monitor i was playing on was completely frozen.

i was confused for a while until i realised that toggling reshade off (shift + F3 for me) unfroze the monitor and would zip to where i was in game and work fine again.

reshade on = froze, reshade off = normality

i came to the conclusion that the issues started happening at the exact time the 5.8 update was released. i got a prompt in the reshade overlay while playing that it needed an update, but hadn’t yet updated it. so i figured the issue was that it did indeed need to be updated.

so yesterday i updated to the new version. hopped in game with the hopes of it being fixed, and came across the same issue but in a slightly different condition.

this time, i could move around using my reshade as normal, but *only if i had my reshade overly open*. the second i tried to toggle reshade on without the menu open, it froze again. and the second i tried to close the overlay once toggling the preset on while having it open, it froze again.

i’m really at a loss as to what is happening. it wasnt a new preset i was using, (tofu by ellcrze) so my pc had no reason to randomly bulk at it. i’ve also been using this preset while filming for about a fortnight now with 0 issues. i only had sims and OBS open the first time and only sims open the second time. i have yet to try using a different preset because i got stressed and closed the game.

do you have any idea what could be causing this? any help is massively appreciated!! 🙏 thank you for all the work you do with this community ❤️

I'm sorry you're having so many problems with this! I don't use OBS so I'm not sure what to suggest. It uses its own overlays, right? Anything with overlays can cause conflicts with ReShade, because ReShade also uses overlays. But I know other people have used ReShade alongside OBS in the past (and as you say, you were doing so without issue for a while) so idk if there's some specific set up you have to have to make sure they play nicely together.

I wonder if anyone else reading this who has experience with OBS might have some ideas?