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dandelionsresilience · 6 months ago

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Good News - June 15-21

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $Kaybarr1735! And if you tip me and give me a way to contact you, at the end of the month I'll send you a link to all of the articles I found but didn't use each week!

1. Victory for Same-Sex Marriage in Thailand

“Thailand’s Senate voted 130-4 today to pass a same-sex marriage bill that the lower house had approved by an overwhelming majority in March. This makes Thailand the first country in Southeast Asia, and the second in Asia, to recognize same-sex relationships. […] The Thai Marriage Equality Act […] will come into force 120 days after publication in the Royal Gazette. It will stand as an example of LGBT rights progress across the Asia-Pacific region and the world.”

2. One of world’s rarest cats no longer endangered

“[The Iberian lynx’s] population grew from 62 mature individuals in 2001 to 648 in 2022. While young and mature lynx combined now have an estimated population of more than 2,000, the IUCN reports. The increase is largely thanks to conservation efforts that have focused on increasing the abundance of its main food source - the also endangered wild rabbit, known as European rabbit. Programmes to free hundreds of captive lynxes and restoring scrublands and forests have also played an important role in ensuring the lynx is no longer endangered.”

3. Planning parenthood for incarcerated men

“[M]any incarcerated young men missed [sex-ed] classroom lessons due to truancy or incarceration. Their lack of knowledge about sexual health puts them at a lifelong disadvantage. De La Cruz [a health educator] will guide [incarcerated youths] in lessons about anatomy and pregnancy, birth control and sexually transmitted infections. He also explores healthy relationships and the pitfalls of toxic masculinity. […] Workshops cover healthy relationships, gender and sexuality, and sex trafficking.”

4. Peru puts endemic fog oasis under protection

“Lomas are unique ecosystems relying on marine fog that host rare and endemic plants and animal species. […] The Peruvian government has formally granted conservation status to the 6,449-hectare (16,000-acre) desert oasis site[….] The site, the first of its kind to become protected after more than 15 years of scientific and advocacy efforts, will help scientists understand climatic and marine cycles in the area[, … and] will be protected for future research and exploration for at least three decades.”

5. Religious groups are protecting Pride events — upending the LGBTQ+ vs. faith narrative

“In some cases, de-escalation teams stand as a physical barrier between protesters and event attendees. In other instances, they try to talk with protesters. The goal is generally to keep everyone safe. Leigh was learning that sometimes this didn’t mean acting as security, but doing actual outreach. That might mean making time and space to listen to hate speech. It might mean offering food or water. […] After undergoing Zoom trainings this spring, the members of some 120 faith organizations will fan out across more than 50 Pride events in 16 states to de-escalate the actions of extremist anti-LGBTQ+ hate groups.”

6. 25 years of research shows how to restore damaged rainforest

“For the first time, results from 25 years of work to rehabilitate fire-damaged and heavily logged rainforest are now being presented. The study fills a knowledge gap about the long-term effects of restoration and may become an important guide for future efforts to restore damaged ecosystems.”

7. Audubon and Grassroots Carbon Announce First-of-its-Kind Partnership to Reward Landowners for Improving Habitats for Birds while Building Healthy Soils

“Participating landowners can profit from additional soil carbon storage created through their regenerative land management practices. These practices restore grasslands, improve bird habits, build soil health and drive nature-based soil organic carbon drawdown through the healthy soils of farms and ranches. […] Additionally, regenerative land management practices improve habitats for birds. […] This partnership exemplifies how sustainable practices can drive positive environmental change while providing tangible economic benefits for landowners.”

8. Circular food systems found to dramatically reduce greenhouse gas emissions, require much less agricultural land

“Redesigning the European food system will reduce agricultural land by 44% while dramatically reducing greenhouse gas emissions from agriculture by 70%. This reduction is possible with the current consumption of animal protein. “Moreover, animals are recyclers in the system. They can recycle nutrients from human-inedible parts of the organic waste and by-products in the food system and convert them to valuable animal products," Simon says.”

9. Could Treating Injured Raptors Help Lift a Population? Researchers found the work of rehabbers can have long-lasting benefits

“[“Wildlife professionals”] tend to have a dismissive attitude toward addressing individual animal welfare,” [… but f]or most raptor species, they found, birds released after rehabilitation were about as likely to survive as wild birds. Those released birds can have even broader impacts on the population. Back in the wild, the birds mate and breed, raising hatchlings that grow up to mate and breed, too. When the researchers modeled the effects, they found most species would see at least some population-level benefits from returning raptors to the wild.”

10. Indigenous people in the Amazon are helping to build bridges & save primates

“Working together, the Reconecta Project and the Waimiri-Atroari Indigenous people build bridges that connect the forest canopy over the BR-174 road[….] In the first 10 months of monitoring, eight different species were documented — not only monkeys such as the golden-handed tamarin and the common squirrel monkey (Saimiri sciureus), but also kinkajous (Potos flavus), mouse opossums (Marmosops sp.), and opossums (Didelphis sp.).”

Bonus: A rare maneless zebra was born in the UK

June 8-14 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

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nightingale-prompts · 3 months ago

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Batboy admits the Truth

First | Previous | Next

(Remember when this was cute and fun)

It was a tense reunion. Batman sensed it and left Nightwing to handle it.

Nightwing was of course not happy. He was downright pissed actually.

"Danny Nightingale-Grayson! Running away again?! After last time?!" Dick was about to go on a long lecture when Danny interrupted.

"I'm sorry."

"You should be sorry! I was so worried!" Dick scowled as he tried to calm down.

"I know. I was just scared. You deserve an answer. A good one. I've never had to explain all of this so please just listen." Danny hoped that this was a good idea.

Dick huffed but this was the start that he wanted.

"I'm dead. Undead at least." Danny began.

"What do you mean? Like a zombie or…like Jason?" Dick asked.

"I don't really know. Jason is like me but I'm not like him. I'm more dead than him I guess." Danny didn't know how to nail that down, revenants are their own things. Several rungs down from where Danny was.

"And how did that happen?" Dick asked gently.

"It was an accident. I was just cleaning my family's lab. The portal wasn't working and I just wanted to take a look. I thought if it finally worked they would spend more time with us. But it turned on with me in it. I didn't learn until recently that a portal to the other side required a sacrifice and that was me. I made for a perfect sacrifice at that, children make for best ones." Danny tried to make a joke but it fell flat.

Dick saw stunned into silence. All this time…Danny you-" Dick was appalled that the same people who hated him for who he was were the same people whose negligence that caused him to be this way.

"Its fine though. They didn't mean for this to happen and I should have known better then to mess with the portal." Danny said defensively.

Despite everything he still cared about his parents at least a little bit.

"That is not fine Danny. You aren't fine Danny. They made you feel like you were not human." Dick said exasperated.

Danny shook his head his face contorted.

"Dick…I'm not human." He said simply. It was plain as day "I thought you understood that. I haven't been just human in a long time. When I had wings did you believe I was human?"

"That is not what I meant. You know that. I just-"Dick didn't know what he was doing. "I'm sorry. Continue."

"I got to play hero for a while. It was exhausting but I liked it. I defended the town from all sorts of ghosts. Then i learned why they were running from their home. All the while a monster like me appeared and he…" Dark Danny's memories flooded his mind. He wasn't a ghost or a human in Danny's mind. Monster was the only thought that came to him.

Dan had haunted him since. He would always be a version of Danny that's possible even if the Nasty Burger incident doesn't happen. All it takes is for Danny to suffer another loss. It almost happened again when his parents caught him.

"I learned a lot from that experience. More then that I earned a title that made me important to the other ghosts. They are actually really cool. But when I got home my parents told me that their real son was dead and I was just a ghost in his body. They called me a murderous monster and then they…cut me open." Danny took a deep breath. His throat felt tight as he held back tears. "I…ran. I escaped and lived with the ghosts."

Danny still remembered sobbing into Clockwork's arms while covered in blood.

"I saw a potential future where this happens but I had hoped it would not come to pass." He said holding Danny in his arms.

The problem with ghosts is while they can heal quickly they are damaged by mental pain far more. Danny healed slowly from his wounds and the scars remained.

Clockwork had taught Danny shifting to help improve the boy's mental flexibility and get heal in a better head space. He knew he had to ask Nocturne to take Danny's mind and spare him from further pain when he was kidnapped. Perhaps it was foolish but the event was going to happen regardless.

Dick took in this information as best as he could but it still made him irate. Danny had been through so much but he never let that mask slip until now. He still chose Dick to be his guardian even while he battled his fears of abandonment. Even after being betrayed by people he only wanted to love him.

Dick put a hand on Danny's cheek. The teen looked at him with the pain of a child left all alone. Danny, touched starved, leaned into Dick's hand.

"Danny, I'm so sorry they did that to you. You deserve so much better. I don't care what you are, you're my son." Dick said softly.

Danny's face twisted.

Son.

He wasn't fond of that word. Bring someone's son never meant much. No, when he had a sister who filled the role of his caretaker. Danny never needed a mom or dad before so the words felt hollow, like placeholders.

But Danny didn't say anything. He just wanted this internal fight to be over.

"Can we just go home?" Danny sighed.

"Yeah, sure kiddo." Dick reassured, "Do you want to go to Batburger on the way?"

"Yeah, can I get jokerized fries?" Danny immediately perked up at the sound of his favorite fast food.

"I think they don't sell those anymore." Dick tried to sound casual because no one had actually told Danny that the Joker was dead just missing.

Well everyone believed that he was missing. It was best not to tell the public that the one of the Bats actually committed murder. Thankfully no one is going to care if Joker doesn't commit another crime spree and won't ask too many questions. Honestly, Duke and Jason are having a fantastic time.

"Really? Why?" Danny asked tilting his head kind of like a puppy.

"….no idea." He shrugged.

(Now back to the regularly scheduled fluff, i swear.)

#dc x dp #dpxdc #dc x dp prompt #dp x dc prompt #danny fenton #danny phantom #batman #nightwing #dick grayson

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cdragons · 5 months ago

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No Hope - Robb Stark x Lady-in-Waiting!Reader

Summary: You ended it. It killed you to do so, but you had to do it. Soon, it won't matter anyway - you were set to travel with Lord Stark and Lady Sansa as her lady-in-waiting to King's Landing. It's not as if you two will ever meet again. How wrong you were...

Warning(s): Hard Dom Robb, OC is cold, Robb is dark AND delulu, Canon divergence, hard smut, slight BDSM, KIng's Landing criminal justice system, etc.

Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIPPY!!! I know I'm three days late, and I swear I meant to finish this on your actual birthday, but I ended up overwriting, and then I had to be at the DMV for about 7 hours and then had to pack up my house yesterday 🫠. ANYWAY, thank you so much for being such an amazing friend! It really has been such an honor to see how much you, your writing, and your blog have grown! Here's to another year of friendship and great writing!

The siege against King’s Landing was a success, resulting in an overwhelming victory for Stannis’ campaign as the new King of the Seven Kingdoms.

House Lannister, despite the arrival of reinforcements from House Tyrell, led by Ser Loras, was no more. While it was a clever ruse on House Tyrell’s part, neither house would have expected men from the Riverlands to join Stannis in his fight, resulting in an overwhelming victory. As a result, the futures of two of the ancient Seven Great Houses of Westeros now rest in the hands of a new ruler—King Stannis of House Baratheon, a figure whose emergence will undoubtedly shape the course of Westeros.

Despite being a wheelhouse dozens of miles away from King’s Landing at this point, the shouts and cheers of Stannis’ men rang clear in your ears. Inside were three young women transported to the Westerlands—to Robb Stark, the Young Wolf and King of the newly independent North.

The thought of seeing him again after the way the two of you left things off made the ride all the more unpleasant.

You remained silent and softly stroked your lady’s head as she rested her head on your lap. Tried as she could to stay lucid and awake, but it seemed that the stress and terror from being trapped as King Joffery’s former betrothed before being sold to his dwarf of an uncle had taken its toll. As she slept, you took in her features and noted the changes from the child you knew in Winterfell to the young woman trapped in King’s Landing. Her gorgeous red Tully hair lost some of its splendorous luster, appearing more matted and unkempt than you had ever seen it after years of being in Lady Sansa’s lady-in-waiting. Despite being in the South for over a year, her ivory skin seemed to pale until it was translucent. While the court believed her pale fairness to result from her Northern birth, only you and Shay knew that it was from Sansa’s inability to stomach more than a few meager bites off her plate during her mealtimes.

“The circles under her eyes have darkened further,” you thought as Sansa gripped your skirt – tightly clenching her fist as if she were a small child still terrified of the dark. “She’s grown too thin – she’s barely improved since I’ve returned by her side.”

It terrified you when Shae, who took your place as her handmaiden, informed you that her mood had improved tremendously since Lord Tyrion’s success in releasing you as a wedding gift to his new wife. Knowing that Sansa, to which your previous liege lord entrusted her care to you, was in such a state for months broke your heart. The bright and cheerful smiles you adored had become so rare since you returned to her side. But you hoped that due to recent events, your red-haired wolf would soon smile as brightly with all the more radiance as she did as a child.

“Do you think Lord Tyrion will be alright?”

You looked up to see Shae sitting across from you on the other side of the carriage. Her expression, while usually impassive and unreadable, was fraught with unease about the uncertainty of the future—hers and her lover’s.

“Stannis Baratheon is not one who shows mercy,” you answered truthfully. “It is likely that he will face the same fate as his nephew, as well as his sister and father.”

Perhaps your tone was too blunt, judging by the slight flinch Shay gave when you referred to Joffery Lannister. But, it would not help anyone, much less her, if you spoke anything less than the truth – that was what Ned Stark taught you since you were a child, and it was by that faith you would remain steadfast no matter what. She deserved nothing less than the truth; it was what you owed her. After all, from what Sansa spoke to you, she helped protect her however she could when you were not by her side.

And for that, you were most grateful.

“However,” you continued, “perhaps Lord Varys will vouch for him. The Master of Whispers holds Lord Tyrion in high regard, and out of all his family, your lover is admittedly the best of them. If nothing else, maybe he’ll pledge loyalty to Stannis and convince Tommen to do the same.”

She grew flustered, “He is not…we are not–”

“You will not find judgment from me,” you assured her with a bitter chuckle. You looked down at Sansa, her sleeping figure sparking a twinge of guilt in your heart. “Believe me, I am the last one to preach about the sins of an affair between a lord and his servant.”

It was a joyful reunion between mother and child. Before the wheelhouse fully stopped, Sansa flung open the doors and leaped out, racing into her mother's arms. Lady Stark was just as eager to hold her daughter – forgetting all forms of propriety and etiquette when she picked up her skirts to run. Both were a mess of wide smiles and joyful tears, and you don’t believe you’ve ever seen Lady Stark act so young. Seeing the two embrace – one who lost a husband and two sons and the other who lost a father and two brothers –made for such a beautiful scene that it made you weep in relief.

“I did it, my lord,” you silently prayed out, “I’ve kept my promise.”

You swore you felt your liege's gratitude by the gentle breeze that blew through the field. But unfortunately, the joy you felt would only further load the weight of the shackles of your guilt and self-loathing that refused to release you. Even if someone as good and honorable as Ned Stark could find it in his heart to forgive you – you couldn’t help but feel you don’t deserve his forgiveness.

…No…you knew you didn’t deserve it, and knowing that made the shackles heavier than you’ve ever felt.

Sansa was absent since Lady Catelyn insisted that her daughter remain by her side for the night. Shae accompanied her, and you remained alone as you lay on the cot set for you. A squire announced himself before entering the tent the men had set up for you and Shae. He called out your name and informed you that you were expected to wait in His Grace’s tent.

“His Grace requested a moment with you,” he explained, “he wishes to thank you for your service and loyalty to Princess Sansa.”

“Well, you can tell ‘His Grace’ that he can thank me here,” you scoffed. “Because I’m not fucking moving.”

You dismissed the young man without a second thought. Seriously? Did he genuinely expect you to come so quickly to him? Honestly, the nerve of that man.

It was not long before the squire returned.

“H-his Grace insists that you meet him,” he stammered.

The poor boy looked terrified, like a little puppy caught by its master for doing something it wasn’t supposed to. Seeing his discomfort was almost adorable – it nearly made you smile.

“And I insist that he let me rest,” you raised your brow and cocked your head to the side. “Or is he, in fact, ordering me to meet him? Ahh, and after such a long journey – honestly, he acts so spoiled sometimes, such a typical highborn born with everything.”

“Please, my lady,” he pleaded.

You impassively stared at the poor fellow briefly. His cheeks were flushed bright red underneath the dirt and grime, and his eyes looked close to crying. Gods, Robb – what in the Seven Hells kind of tongue lashing did you give the poor boy? Surely, he wasn’t so desperate to see you, especially considering how the two of you left things off.

“Fine,” you sighed, “I suppose I could spare him a moment. But it won’t be before I’ve had a bath – I’ve already called for hot water; it won’t be long.”

“Oh, thank you, my lady,” he sighed in relief. “His Grace will be most grateful to see you once he is finished speaking with his council in the war tent.”

Fuckin’ son of a–

You swore you felt a vein on your forehead pop. Did that idiot really summon you to his tent while he was in a council meeting?

The walk from your tent to Robb’s was a battle in itself - your mind dreaded what your heart longed for.

You had just finished your bath and changed into a simple linen dress (plain but clean) when you decided you kept His Majesty waiting long enough (two hours, give or take). You were just about to enter when a particularly irritatingly slow clap stopped you in your tracks. There was only one person who could bring out your ire in such a short amount of time. You turned around to see Theon Greyjoy – standing and smirking like the arrogant bitch you fought and played with since you were just a girl.

“Well, aren’t you a vision?” he smirked. “Makes you wonder how the men of King’s Landing kept their hands to themselves when they saw you.”

“Wouldn’t know,” you wryly replied, “after all, I spent most of my time there in a dark, damp cell. I barely had enough food and water to survive, let alone to be a vision.”

Although Theon still joked and teased like he always had, you could see the war had taken its toll on him. He grew thinner. His body had lost weight, and his muscles appeared leaner and more taut. His shaggy curls were more closely trimmed and no longer tickled his shoulders. But his eyes—how they looked so haunted and tired—made your heartbreak.

“He’s missed you,” he whispered. There was no need to state a name – you both knew who he was referring to.

“He got married,” you replied while looking away. To a Frey, no less.

“She's dead, and he never loved her.”

“That makes it better?”

“It does when you were the one who broke his heart,” he retorted.

You sharply turned back, “That is not–”

Light poured out of the tent behind you as the front flap opened. You heard your name being called out in that tone that always made your knees buckle—revering and filled with longing with an undertone of authority. It beckoned you to look at him, and when you did, you swore you felt your heart leap into your throat by him.

“You’re late,” he grunted.

Robb Stark, with his crystalline blue eyes not once looking away from you, shifted to the side and let you in. His gaze moved to Theon and narrowed when he noticed the lack of distance between the two of you. Saying nothing, you silently bowed your head before heading inside the warm tent. However, you remained close enough to hear the brief exchange between the Greyjoy and Stark. But after being away from Robb for so long, you couldn’t focus on any words between the two men.

Taking a deep breath, your body tingled as you took the familiar notes of fine leather and freshly burned smoke. You glanced at his bed and longed to lie in its furs without the hindrance of clothes. Your mouth watered at the idea of wrapping yourself in them. The idea of pressing your nose against the furs made your center throb and grow wet, as the idea of the scent of his hot sweat mixed with his musk trapped in those hides was almost too much to bear.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you nearly missed Robb calling out your name. You responded by regaining your composure as quickly as possible so as not to betray any lustful thoughts swimming in your mind.

“What did you and Theon talk about?” he bluntly asked, standing impassively as you remained silent.

“Was the journey smooth?” he tried again. Nothing.

“I hope my men–”

“Idle prattle doesn’t suit you,” you tiredly sighed. “Just tell me whatever you waited so long for, and then I can return to my tent and finally rest.”

Robb clenched his fists and stared at the ground. How cruel, how unfair – one word from you, just hearing your voice, struck every word on his tongue dead. War made him lax. He, of all people, should know how you could drive good men to insanity.

Yes – it felt like he was going mad.

He looked up from the ground and wanted to weep. There you stood – looking as beautiful as a fresh layer of snow and just as cold. It took everything in him not to reach out and pull you close. He wanted to feel your body close to his, to revel in the softness of your hidden warmth. He wanted to go back to Winterfell – to simpler times with his father and brothers alive and laughing, to when Jon was by his side and his brother and best friend, and to when you would look at him like he was your world.

How you used to look at him – how he still looked at you.

Robb tried to start a conversation to loosen the tense atmosphere, but it was clear you weren’t having it. You even cut him off on his third attempt. Your voice was so cold that it burned him like ice. He wasn’t even sure if you were looking at him or just at a corner of the tent so you could maintain that cold, domineering façade you had perfected since childhood. It was obvious to him that you were trying to goad him into losing his temper – giving you the perfect excuse to leave and ignore him again.

Why else had you sent his squire back to him after he requested your presence to wait for him at his tent? Furthermore, why else did you make him wait two hours for your bath?

“I wish to thank you for your loyalty towards my sister during her time as the Lannisters’ hostage,” Robb calmly said, keeping his voice steady but firm. “You acted bravely.”

“No,” you shook your head. “I acted as anyone else would have in my position. My loyalty to your sister and family is not something to be admired or coveted.”

“That’s not true,” Robb argued. “Your loyalty to my family is nothing short of admirable. It’s only right that–”

“Robb.”

It was infuriating how regal you looked, carrying the air of a queen.

“My loyalty will always belong to House Stark, that’s true – but,” you stared deep into his gaze, “all I cared about in that damp, rotting cell, where I was given barely enough water and food to survive, was whether my lady was well.”

Please stop it.

“I didn’t endure because my lady was a Stark,” you continued, “I endured because it was Sansa.”

He couldn’t bear it any longer.

“Is it only for Sansa that you’ve suffered?” he rasped in anger.

This wasn’t good; he just got you back. If he doesn’t properly utilize this chance, you’ll be gone from him forever. He knew you’d never leave Sansa’s side. Your loyalty to her, even when she still acted like the spoiled little princess of the North, drew him to you. As the eldest daughter, Sansa was the one closest to their mother. However, as the second eldest child, it also meant that she had to understand she could not always have their parents’ attention. Before Jeyne Poole, before Septa Mordane – you were Sansa’s first and constant companion. You were someone whose loyalty ran deep and remained unwavering in the worst times.

He collected himself enough to apologize for his outburst when your voice returned – regal and imposing, cold and distant.

“Not just Sansa,” you stated. “…I also made a promise to Lord Stark.”

Something in him snapped. Robb considered himself a good man, an honorable man. One whose father instilled lessons of honor and duty in him since he was old enough to walk. A father who he missed, whose absence was painful. But hearing you speak of him, of his father, it was like a bucket of ice water was poured over him, and it awoke a bitter memory he had long forgotten.

“Is it true?” Robb demanded unannounced after storming into his father’s private study. His father sat at his desk, appearing as tired and weary as the day of his departure from home to the vicious South treads closer with each passing day. Ned set down his quill and sighed deeply. He knew it would not be long before Robb would come in to demand an explanation. He supposed that, as his boy’s father, he owed his eldest son that much… if for not his own sake, then for the sake of closure. “…What may you be referring to, Robb?” he asked, despite already knowing what this was about. Robb furiously shook his head, “Do not pretend with me, Father. Did you or did you not plant the idea of a future engagement between her and me as treason against you?” “…Before I answer that,” Ned began carefully, not wanting to upset his son further, “am I to understand that when you mean ‘her,’ you are referring to a particular lady-in-waiting favored by your sister?” It frightened Ned how quickly Robb’s anger was snuffed out. He whispered your name with reverence and veneration fit for the Maiden. But just as soon as his heir’s fury went away, it came back at a speed and quantity tenfold. Ned could see it in his eyes. Robb may have inherited his Tully mother’s eyes, but the cold storm raging in them could only belong to one whose blood belongs to the Old Gods of the North. “Sansa requested her to accompany us while she learns to be Prince Joffrey's future queen,” Ned explained. “Robb… your sisters need people they can trust – now more than ever with Bran’s accident.” “And she’s agreed to this?” Robb interrogated. “You expect me to believe that?” “Yes,” Ned solemnly nodded, “because it was brought up to me by her…”

Robb didn’t believe it then, and he still didn’t believe it now. He refused to entertain the idea of you, of all people, who would propose to his father that you leave him. You, who Robb loved with a love more fervent and true than any fanciful tale sung by the bards in Southern courts. You, who listened to all of Robb’s deepest fears and worries since you and him were still small children. You, who whispered promises of love and devotion to Robb night after night since he first warmed your bed.

You, who cried tears of joy when he secretly proposed to you underneath the blood-red leaves and snow-painted branches of the weirwood tree, swearing his love to you before the Old Gods and New.

…No…no, no, no—it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be…but what other explanation was left?

“Robb…?” your voice gently called out to him. “If that’s all you wish to say to me… then I must be heading back to my–”

He walked forward and tightly grasped your arms, making you unable to escape. Robb felt your feeble attempts to pry his fingers off with your delicate hands. But it was to no avail.

“Why…?” Robb rasped, letting out all the pain and longing he had been keeping locked inside since you dissolved you and his affair. “Why did you leave? …Why did you leave me?”

“Damn you,” you thought. “Damn you, Robb Stark.”

It was pathetic… how easily this man broke down your walls. One word… one word from him was enough to make you want to surrender everything.

“I…I-I… only did what I thought was best,” you stammered. “For us…and for you…”

Robb scoffed because why wouldn’t he?

“For me…?” he rhetorically repeated. “Leaving me – no, abandoning me… that was for my benefit? Do you really expect me to believe that?”

You shook your head, “Belief is secondary to truth,” you explained. “And I am telling you the truth. I’ve never lied to you.”

“Right, of course – that’s why you ran off to King’s Landing with my sister,” Robb raged. “Yes, certainly that for my well-being. You, being paraded and courted by knights and nobles with their pretty words and fine silks – what a relief to know that you endured all that for me…”

Oh, this son of a – gods, how could one man be so beautiful, yet so infuriating?!

“Did you ever love me?” he asked, his voice a little rough from choking back tears. “Was it ever real? Any of it? Or was it all a lie?”

“I believe I told you I was expected to wake your sister for her early celebration…” you looked out the window, “…right now…? It would seem…?” It was the morning of Sansa’s eleventh birthday. Lady Stark planned to surprise her daughter with a splendid spread of leek pottage, freshly baked bread, slices of smoked meat, and a cup of sweet Dornish wine. She entrusted the duty of waking the little princess of the day to you, Sansa’s most entrusted companion. It was expected that you would take the role. After all, everyone in the castle knew what an absolute nightmare Lord Stark’s eldest daughter was in the early mornings. …But…it would seem that Lord Stark’s eldest son and heir did not understand the gravity of your role today…considering he remained insistent that you spend your morning with him… in his bed… without any clothes on your person. While usually, you’d be much more cross at his insistence… you couldn’t deny how delicious it felt waking up in his arms after a night of gloriously intense lovemaking. And the way he further convinced you by tracing feather-light kisses down your neck and collarbone was downright sinful. “I believe…” he momentarily nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck, causing you to softly shriek and giggle. “…I told you never to speak of my sister or any member of my family while in bed with me.” His lips trailed further down to the valley of your breasts. “Stay here…with me…and let’s forget the world this morning.” Gods, it’d be so easy to give in …to remain hidden from the world within the arms of your beloved…but life was hardly so easy. “You know I – can’t…!” you sharply gasped at the feel of his lips around your teat. You pitifully whined his name. “Robb, please…” “Shhh—careful, my love,” he huskily whispered, “unless you want all of Winterfell to know how even one of its coldest women is powerless against her wolf…” You held his chin to press a soft kiss against his lips. Gazing into his deep pools of sapphire, you knew this was the only man you could ever give your heart to. “My wolf…” you corrected, “and only mine…” “Yours…” Robb agreed as the two of you got lost in each other all over again.

Instinct and fury blinded rationality and composure as a sharp crack rang within the tent as your palm made contact with Robb’s cheek. Hot tears spilled from your eyes as the wet trails streamed down your cheeks.

“Fuck you, Robb…” you grit out.

Did he not think you haven’t craved him and his love as much, if not more, since your separation? Was he so obtusely… thick in the skull to think that you hadn’t cursed yourself for plunging you both into the cruel depths of a life without the other? Had he not realized that what saved you from falling into despair… from the moment you were thrown into the Red Keep’s dungeons… was your sweet memories of him?

You angrily swiped away your tears on the back of your hand before shoving him aside so you could make your way out of the tent. You couldn’t stand to be so close to him, not anymore, not when it cut you so deeply.

What was the point? Of being so close to one when they cannot have the other?

But it seemed your king did not agree with your sentiments as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back toward him. Your chest collided against his, and you felt the hard planes of his muscles and wanted to sink to your knees while stripping him of all barriers that blocked his glorious body.

Robb growled as he felt the tremulous rhythm of your beating heart, effectively giving away all your true feelings and desires toward him – the same he felt to you.

“You’re a cruel woman…” he growled as he forced you to look into his deep, blue eyes by holding your chin, “but you’re my woman.”

Without another word, he seized you by the arm and threw you onto his bed. He tore off his tunic before gripping your ankles with both hands and forcing them wide open before he forcefully pulled your body to the end of the bed. Not wasting another moment, he clutched the neckline of your nightdress and tore it open, leaving you exposed and defenseless against him. You felt the peaks of your breasts harden against the cold air and tried to cover them with your arms, but Robb slapped your hands away and pinned your hands above your head.

“And I’ll make sure you learn your place by the time I’m done with you…”

Time meant nothing inside that tent. The only things that mattered were Robb Stark, young King of the North and recently widowed, and you, his precious whore he loved so dearly. It could have been an hour, it could have been five –you couldn’t tell. All you knew was that your former lover was currently cementing his claim on you as his bitch-in-heat by making you cum twice with his fingers and thrice more from his cock.

“You *huff* …really…expe- fuck…!” The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the air, interrupted by the squelch of your juices mixed with his as he moved in and out of you. He loudly groaned when he felt your walls clamp down on his still-hard shaft. “Fuck – how are you still so fucking tight…?”

You didn’t answer him; you couldn’t – at least not with words. Each of Robb’s thrusts hit that spot inside you that made you lose all sense of logic and rational thought. All you could offer was broken garbles and moans of your ecstasy as your insatiable wolf continued to feast on your pleasure. And this only seemed to further incense Robb into driving himself deeper inside you, as if he had not already caused you to peak three times since he first pushed into you. Your vision became blurry as your eyes crossed, but he brought you back by delivering a hard slap against your bottom, the stinging pain quickly shifting to ebbing pleasure.

“Well?” he tauntingly jeered, thoroughly enjoying your sharp tongue could only be quieted by him fucking you dumb. “I expect an answer…!”

“Ah-ah-ah – FUCK…!” you cried out after he delivered another harsh slap on your bottom’s other cheek, making you sharply gasp and continue to slather your drool and tears into his bed’s furs. “I don’t know…!”

Robb cruelly smirked, “Don’t know…?” He grabbed the front of your neck and pulled you until your sensitive back was pressed flush against his hard chest. “Don’t lie to me… you know… don’t pretend that you don’t – but do you want me to tell anyway?”

Fervently nodding, you felt him grin as his hot breath panted against your neck, causing goosebumps to prick across your skin covered in bite marks.

“It’s because…” Robb quickened his pace from rough to erratic as your mind nearly blanks from feeling more and more of him hitting the entrance to your womb, “we both know that cunt belonging to such a cold whore like yourself…could only be thawed with cock like mine and only mine.”

The war changed him. The Robb you knew and loved would never dream of speaking to you in such a filthy and vulgar manner. Before, your Robb always made love to you sweetly with the gentlest touches, and as far as you could tell and feel, he was gone. In his place was a wolf with a voracious appetite who could only seem satisfied with your humiliation from his rough squeezes and unforgiving pace. The evidence was plain to see by how he littered your body with purple love bites down your neck, red bite marks over your breasts and inner thighs, and deep indents of his nails from gripping your hips too hard and too long.

And the worst part of it? You loved it. Every bit of his ministrations was a piece of heaven. If this were torture, then you would only crave pain for the rest of your existence. Everything hurts so good, from the way his thick, throbbing cock stretches your walls to the way his rough, calloused hands manhandle your body with his bruising grip. You weren’t sure if there was anything left of you that Robb didn’t already possess. Your eyes glazed over the veins in his arms bulge as you barely register the rasped grunts and growls leaving his lips. If you looked down, you were sure to see the outline of his cock bulging from inside you as he continued to split you open.

He stilled for a moment and whispered in your ear as you cried out your frustration and begged him not to stop.

“I’m going to cum in you,” he rasped with perverse glee, “and afterward, I’m going to make sure my seed takes root in your womb.” He pushed your face down to the furs and forced your hips to meet his thrusts without mercy. “You tried to… escape your fate by leaving. Well, *huff* let me tell you right now… that’s never going to happen – I’ll lock you… in the tallest tower in Winterfell and chain you to the bed if I have to…”

One of his hands left your hips and went below you as his fingers deftly sought out the sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs that was your clit. You tried to protest, not sure if your body could take even more pleasure, but all that came out was a warbled cry as he pressed down and circled your bud. The overstimulation was proving to be too much as your body started shaking. You felt a cord tightening more and more until it just *snapped*, and you screamed out your release as your entire body trembled.

Robb refused to let up his pace, and he continued to thrust in and out of you as you felt him stiffen and – gods, how did he get even bigger? Before he released his seed inside you, he bottomed out – making sure that there was nothing of him that was not inside your sopping cunt. Your vision went white as he let out a loud and powerful groan from his release, and you could feel his hot seed painting your inner walls with his essence.

His peak seemed to drain him of all his energy as he gathered you in his arms without pulling out and resolved himself to finally rest. His sweaty forehead rested against your shoulder as he panted. Between each labored breath, he planted a kiss across your shoulders – your body still twitching from the intensity it endured as you, too, tried to catch your breath.

All was silent until you found yourself speaking, “…There was no hope, was there…?”

Robb lifted his upper body on one arm to hover over you. You repeated your question, to which he gave you a relaxed smile and tucked a stray piece of hair stuck to your temple behind your ear.

“No, love…” he confirmed. “But you must have known that from the beginning…I would have never let you go.”

…How does one respond to that?

You tried to search for the answer in his eyes, but all you saw was love… love, and madness. It was always there inside him; you’ve known that from the beginning… only you were blinded by his beauty and your love for him. But your lord knew the truth; he saw that obsessive love from the start; after all, Robb was his son. He warned you, but you didn’t listen. It wasn’t until you saw him beat a poor knight bloody and broken on the ice-covered ground – all because you made the mistake of smiling at him.

That’s why you ended your secret engagement. You had hoped that time and distance would ebb away the insanity flowing in his blood, or perhaps he would find someone else and eventually forget you – whichever came first.

But that was a fool’s dream; you knew that now.

Wordlessly, you nodded, to which Robb gently pressed his lips to yours, just as he had back in Winterfell. With each second, you began to respond more and more to the kiss. You wrapped your arms over his neck as his lips trailed down your next again, and you felt your sore body humming for more despite its sensitivity. Your fingers gripped his unruly, dark auburn curls as a tear trailed your cheek.

Forgive me, my lord…I’ve failed.

But you know you were secretly glad of it. After all, how could you not be? Life was growing inside you at that very moment.

Tagging: @dipperscavern, @ethereal-athalia, @axelsagewrites, @rise-my-angel, @anewpersonthatexists, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @lenasdmns, @justmymindandstuff, @aoi-targaryen, @vyctorya, @metalblindbitch, @h34rts-4uu, @aphroditesmoon, @dreaming-for-an-escape, @sylasthegrim

#robb stark x reader #robb stark x female reader #robb stark x fem reader #robb stark fanfic #robb stark smut #game of thrones fix it #game of thrones x reader #game of thrones fic #game of thrones #a song of ice and fire #dark robb stark #dark fic #my writing #asoiaf x reader

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teaboot · 7 months ago

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Forgive me if you’ve already answered something similar but how do you deal with crushing guilt when you did fuck up but there’s not really anything you can do to like make amends or you’ve already done anything you could and still feel guilty?

Like I know the guilt isn’t productive at all, if anything it’s just paralyzing me, and mentally beating myself up over it isn’t actually helping anyone. But I don’t know where to go from there. Idk how to actually forgive myself, or at least be able to move on

CW FOR SELF HARM

Okay, so this is something I've had to work through for a very long time myself, and there's a few different strategies that I've used to cope and process with varying levels of success.

What I used to do was handle the "I've ruined everything and hurt people and am never going to be forgiven" feeling by hurting myself in a number of creative and stupid ways, from physical hurt (Everything you'd expect) to mental hurt (wallowing, speaking badly of myself, going over the bad thing over and over again in my head) to passive hurt (neglecting my health, not eating properly, failing to pursue good living conditions, letting others hurt me, deliberately wandering into risky situations) and despite any short-term relief or peace I got, none of it ultimately fixed anything.

At the end of the day, making myself suffer as retribution or apology didn't fix the thing I'd done and didn't make the guilt go away, and all it gave me was an additional sense of shame and isolation because now not only was I a garbage person, I was a garbage person with something to hide from my loved ones. Zero out of ten, do not recommend.

The stuff that DID help was harder and is going to sound stupid because *I thought it was stupid* until it worked for me.

First: Learn the difference between GUILT and SHAME.

GUILT is how you feel about your choices.

SHAME is how you feel about yourself.

"I was late to a date again, that was inconsiderate": GUILT. The issue can be resolved by analyzing the reason behind the action and planning steps to avoid repeating it in the future. Guilt is productive because it motivates us to improve our choices. Once you've corrected the behaviour, it's over.

A"I was late to a date again, I'm inconsiderate": SHAME. The issue can be resolved by asking ourselves:

What negative thing to I believe about myself?

What other experiences support this belief? What evidence do I have that the bad thing is true?

Do those previous experiences have anything in common? Where they actually proof of a personal lack, or did someone just tell me they were? Were my choices and actions understandable? Did I have a reason? Was I trying to hurt others, or was it a mistake, accident, or learning experience? Have I grown from that experience?

Can I forgive myself for the past? What do I need to do to forgive myself for those past events? Was I really at fault at all, or was it out of my control?

Accept that.

Your present traumas and shames often have roots in beliefs you had about yourself before the new shameful thing occurred. When you dig into resolving the issues that led to today, you can use those conclusions to work through tomorrow. This is something I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy.

There are a number of ways of unpacking these questions, but as I felt I was deliberately avoiding my thoughts and feelings, I chose to jump into them directly, and found it to be effective.

You can write things down, talk to someone, paint something, draw something, whatever. Whatever at all works for you.

My solutions was to find a comfortable place on the floor, sit down, close my eyes, and do box-breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4) while deliberately thinking about every upsetting memory attached to a specific bad belief that I could recall until I had nothing left to go over.

Judge and jury. Was I a bad person, or did I make a mistake? Did I have malicious intentions, or did someone accuse me of malicious intentions? Am I bad, or have I been conditioned to believe I'm bad? And at the end of it all, am I capable of better? Do I want to be better? And would a truly bad person care?

It was more emotional than I expected the first few times. Cried a lot, actually. But if I can liken it to a common feeling, it was like getting out of a very thorough shower and realizing you didn't know how dirty you were before.

The process sucks ass, no lie, but it's worth it. Like draining pus from a gnarly wound to get it healed up properly.

I'm not an expert, of course, but life has gotten better since I started. I'm better at forgiving myself, at least.

Also: Some people will never forgive others even for tiny things. Sometimes once you've done your best, you've just gotta say "fuck 'em". C'est la vie, mon amie.

Good luck, yeah?

♡

#Self harm cw #Guilt and shame

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genericnam · 1 year ago

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Why, out of GF, Amphibia, and TOH, only Luz didn't have to leave her new world behind:

I've seen people complain about Amphibia and to a lesser extent, Gravity Falls, for having their series end with a goodbye; the main characters having to leave their found families and this world they've grown to love and return to regular life. But the thing is, the three shows all have MASSIVELY different morals, that each fit in with how the goodbyes (or lack thereof) work into the finales.

Gravity Falls has a large theme of temporary goodbyes and reconciling. Stan and Ford being the primary example. But there are others: Soos and Melony, Wendy and Robbie, even Dipper and Mabel to an extent. The show builds upon this with Gravity Falls being a VACATION, they aren't trapped there, they could theoretically go home at any time. Episodes such as Summerween and Dipper and Mabel Vs. The Future also build on the tone, telling that it's okay to both grow up and move on, but you don't have to leave behind what you once loved in doing so.

The final conflicts (Wierdmaggedon) are caused because of characters not being able to let go. Stan couldn't let go of Ford, Mabel couldn't let go of Gravity Falls, Gideon couldn't let go of Mabel.

Gravity Falls teaches the viewer that even if you love something, you have to let it go, and eventually it will return. In the words of Bill Cipher: "We'l meet again. Don't know where, don't know when. I just knew we'll meet again, some sunny day."

Amphibia has a similar theme of Gravity Falls, but it takes it further. Amphibia tells you that if you don't let go, sometimes things will only get worse. The primary example for this is the show's catalyst event: Marcy getting Anne to steal the Music Box. Marcy chose to go to Amphibia, rather than move away, and she dragged her friends into it with her. Instead of having a long distance friendship with Sasha and Anne, she took them to an alternate dimension in order to spend eternity on a massive adventure, and it got her killed. Marcy and Anne died and Sasha tried to kill herself.

And that's only Marcy. Sasha was a control freak that bordered on yandere at the height of her villain arc. Sasha couldn't accept that Anne was beginning to move on from the toxic friendship that the Calamity Trio had locked themselves into.

The trio were horrible to eachother, pre-character arcs, and they needed to focus on self improvement before they could even hope to be good friends. In the time between 'All In' and the epilog, the Calamity Trio would not have actually been able to be good for eachtoher. They say they forgive eachother, but that was forgiveness given during a WAR. Post show, the real feelings would start to bubble up. Anne's resentment for the betrayals, Marcy’s abandonment issues, Sasha's definite self hatred. The trio HAD to split up to have any semblance of a friendship.

Amphibia tells its audience that not all good things can last, and if you obsess and force it to stay, it can destroy you.

The Owl House has a completely opposite moral. It tells you to find your people, and fight for them.

Luz lived in the Human Realm, but it was never her home. Her home was with Camila and Manny, but when Manny died, Camila and Luz's relationship began to falter. That world wasn't her home. When Luz found the Boiling Isles, she was always supposed to be able to leave. This wasn't a summer trip she didn't want at first, or a one way portal. The Boiling Isles was HER choice.

Luz picked Bonesburrow. Luz picked Hexside. Luz picked The Owl House. Her home was always meant to be The Boiling Isles. She only started trying to find a way back to Earth because the choice was taken from her. Luz no longer had the choice to go back to the Human Realm. In fact, the only time Luz chose Humans over Isles was when she was PUNISHING herself for helping Belos.

Luz got to stay in the Boiling Isles because TOH tells its audience that where you start isn't where you should always stay. Find your place and find your people. And when you do, hold it dear and never let go. "Us weirdos have to stick together."

#the owl house #amphiba #gravity falls #luz noceda #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #marcy wu #mabel pines #character essay #monologuing to the void #gravity falls spoilers #amphibia spoilers #the owl house spoilers

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honeytonedhottie · 11 months ago

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getting seriously organized⋆.ೃ࿔*:･📄

the importance of organization - the nature of life is that it can seem really disorganized and chaotic but it doesn't absolutely have to be that way! organization helps to improve your efficiency and overall add structure to ur life.

agendas - a daily to do list is a MUST. i use notion to organize my time. i separate what i need to do into categories (A and B).

CATEGORY A ; tasks that hold the highest level of importance.

CATEGORY B ; tasks that are more simple (its not gonna nip u in the bud if u dont do a task in category b)

monthly calendars - monthly calendars are so helpful because i set new goals for every month, and when everything is already planned out and in front of you it makes it feel a million times easier to achieve those goals.

list important events

birthdays

appointments etc

lists - making lists is therapeutic for me at this point. its actually a lot of fun so i highly recommend it, but instead of just making lists for fun, you could make lists that'll be useful in the future. for example...

restock lists (lists of things that you consistently need and use)

grocery lists

meal prep - meal prep is so useful because it makes grocery shopping easier, and its easier to eat consistently when u know what ur going to eat

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uyuforu · 11 months ago

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Pick-a-Card: How will you meet your Future Spouse?

₊ ⊹ ALLEGEDLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY₊ ⊹

pile 1 -> pile 2

piles 3 -> pile 4

pick an image and scroll down to read your reading

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Pile 1 - ₊˚⊹♡

Ekta Oracle: The brain; The mind; The hammock; The bow + The masculine

Original Tarot de Marseille: Ace of Cups; The world reversed; The pope reversed; 3 of wands; The hermit; The tower + 7 of wands

Botticelli Tarot de Marseille: The world reversed; Judgment reversed; Queen of pentacles; 8 of wands; Death; The moon reversed + The empress

Lenormand Oracle: The letter; The bridge; The tree; The mask; The polar bear; The flowers + The woman

The Big Love Oracle: Trust; Kindness; Solitude; Tenderness + Betrayal

Love Languages Oracles: Exchanges; Total success; To feel zen; To feel attractive + Youth

𓆞𓆝 𓆟 Don't forget that it's a general reading so take what resonates. If you don't resonate with this pile, you can choose another one. If you don't resonate with any of the piles, it just means there is no messages for you today. Don't take informations you are not comfortable with, and take care of yourself 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

-> So, the message is a bit confusing to me. It seems like someone is younger than the other. You could be younger than your FS. You could be studying at that time, still in college, or just working hard. You seem very busy with your mind, like you think a lot, and it may be at a time you need a break from it. You might be doing well at college or at your work, and think you are super smart, which I don't doubt by the way. But it may be at a time you are considering taking a break, a holiday, vacations, something like that. Traveling may not be far, but at least you need a break. You may encounter your FS during that break. Now, I don't have many informations about where, world is reversed twice so I'm not sure if traveling is involved, or if the person is a foreigner. It might be that the universe doesn't want you to know too much about the meeting.

-> So you'll encounter this person during that break. You need to rest your brain and your thoughts. Im not sure you will bring a lot of people with you. You could want to take a break and stay at home alone, or go somewhere on your own for example. You'll be single at that time too, you think you have time to accept someone new in your life, or you feel read (that you are aware of that or not) for a new relationship. You'll encounter them at that time, and you guys could talk. There could be exchange of messages, texts, on social medias for example. I honestly don't have the real deal about how exactly it takes place. It could really be on social medias, as the world is reversed, im not actually sure it's an in person meeting. it could be virtually. But, you might feel like you are too good for them? There is this feeling where you think you are too good, too pretty, too smart for them. But you'll think that on meeting this person, and not actually knowing them.

-> It seems like you'll have prejudices about them too. And you could get karma about that. Life will bring you a lesson about thinking that. You will get surprised about this person, and regret that thought of yours. Once again, take it lightly. This might be reversal, as it's your person who thinks they are too good for you and they get their karma back. This encounter will teach someone a lesson here. It makes me think of Pride and Prejudices! But don't worry, this karma and event is not meant to bring you down. They, from the start, are meant to bring you to your highest soul purpose, so they will only teach you a lesson for you to improve yourself. I see a lot of love and respect from the beginning. You'll be happy you met them, and you'll think it was the best decision of your life to take a break at that moment. Your story together will have a good success.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Pile 2 - ₊˚⊹♡

Ekta Oracle: Celebration; The lucky charm; Love; 3 bamboos + The snake

Original Tarot de Marseille: The popess; The emperor; Jack of pentacles; 9 of swords; 8 of wands; Death reversed + 4 of wands

Botticelli Tarot de Marseille: 3 of wands; 8 of pentacles; The justice; 4 of wands; 2 of swords; 10 of cups reversed + 8 of wands

Lenormand Oracle: The man; The swans; The garden; The snake; The lucky charm; The scythe + The well

The Big Love Oracle: Betrayal; Achievement; Fragility; Permission + Projects

Love Languages Oracles: Openness; Destiny's key; Flirt; Magnetic relationship + Money

-> It seems like you will meet your FS at a moment you could have had your heart broken. There could have been some betrayal, cheating, someone did you dirty when you will meet this person. You will surely meet this person at a tome you are celebrating a success or an achievement in your life. You could be open to new relationships or opportunities, you may be want to meet new people at that time. You want to have fun, enjoy life. You want to also maybe meet people to fix your broken heart, or you want to meet people to move on from what happened to you. You may still be quite fragile and you maybe want to meet people but not feel quite ready for love, like true commitment. But, you are open to see how it goes!

-> Cards say that when you meet this person, this is actually destiny. Maybe when you meet them you may feel like it's not quite the right time, when in fact it was orchestrated my the divine, so it is the right time, you will not know it or realize it at that time. I think when you meet this person, you are learning something, this can mean during a time you are at school, or making a project, or you are in a time when you try to be more organize, more consistent. This person comes in. Let me tell you, they will find you stunning. You can say it is love at first sight. More like a crush here. But this person will find you so attractive. They will approach you directly. When you meet them, this person can be so flirty with you, like really trying to seduce you. I don't see them trying to seduce you for bad reasons, they are just super attracted to you. And they just want you to be also interested. So they are not trying to achieve anything, they may just want to know where it is going to go. You will meet them outside, and you will go on a date with them.

-> This person could own a company, and has a lot of money. They are such an Emperor lol. This person is more mature than you, and they could be older too. But they are very wise, and could have lived a lot of life lessons and experiences. When you meet them, you will feel a certain mature vibe and you will like it. You will feel like it is easy to talk with them and they understand a lot. They are open-minded. This person will try so hard to make you like them, you will notice they want you so bad. They will rizz you like you have never been rizz before. But I think this person may have not heal past traumas, they are still stuck on something. You may come into their life to heal something. You may also be a bit afraid of this person's behavior. Their rizz, their flirt, and seduction, it's funny for a while but I think you are gonna be tired or just be scared of this. I think it's gonna trigger you at a certain point. You will be on your guards because you will be scared to be hurt again. Cards are explaining you will be afraid yet, this person is not there to hurt you. They will force you to heal, unconsciously. And you will do the same for them. You will trigger each other to work on your past traumas. Moreover, this person is someone you have been wishing for, for a long time! And they will end up being your FS so! You will maybe feel like this will never work out with them yet you will marry them...!

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Pile 3 - ₊˚⊹♡

Ekta Oracle: The wilted flower; The clouds; The mind; The balance + The city

Original Tarot de Marseille: 9 of swords; The pope; Ace of wands; The temperance; 5 of swords; Queen of wands + 8 of cups

Botticelli Tarot de Marseille: 6 of swords; 7 of swords reversed; Queen of pentacles; Jack of swords; Ace of wands reversed; Ace of cups reversed + 4 of wands

Lenormand Oracle: The dices; The lucky charm; The moon; The birds; The fox; The mouses + The man

The Big Love Oracle: Flexibility; Hope; Stop; Neglect; Fidelity + Reconciliation

Love Languages Oracles: The beautiful thoughts; Exchanges; New lesson; Being relaxed + The gift

-> I asked how will you meet your FS yet the cards are talking to me about something else... I'll deliver the message. So, the cards are talking to me about an ex for yours being your FS. This is a specific message so if you are not comfortable about this idea, someone of your past being your FS, then please choose another pile!

-> The cards are saying someone left the connection before, and when they left, things ended between you two. Things ended because the situation was unstable, someone was doing more work than the other person. This could have been you who went away. You may have decided to stop things because you felt neglected by the other person. Cards are saying one of you, or maybe both, is stalking the other on social medias, or checking to see how you are going from time to time. You may both think of each other often, like remind yourself with good memories you both had, or just you think often about each other. You could talk to each other in dreams or in 5D, or during meditation. This is optional. One of you, or maybe both, still have hope for the future.

-> I actually see you may be separated right now, and you or this person is reflecting about what they want, and thinking a lot about this connection. Someone is thinking how they messed things up and how bad they want to start over with the other person. The reflexion may have helped this person understand the truth, where they went wrong, and what they truly feel. This person wants to come back. They want to start over and make things right with you. They are ready to enter in a serious relationship, they are ready to settle and be faithful. They want a reconciliation with you. This person would want to talk to you first, and maybe introduce this idea. You will maybe take your time to answer, but you will finally decide to accept (of course only if you actually do lol).

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Pile 4 - ₊˚⊹♡

Ekta Oracle: The mind; The road; The prayer; The angel + The masculine

Original Tarot de Marseille: 10 of wands reversed; The chariot; Queen of wands; The justice reversed; 2 of cups; The sun reversed + 4 of wands

Botticelli Tarot de Marseille: 9 of swords; Strength; The popess; 5 of cups; Knight of wands; 10 of pentacles + 5 of pentacles

Lenormand Oracle: The magnificent glass; The house; The flowers; The scythe; The flowers; The lucky charm + The fishes

The Big Love Oracle: Communication; Separation; Setback; Promises + Revival

Love Languages Oracles: Physical relationships; The beautiful thoughts; Step away; Work + The gift

-> This is a pile that is very specific too. I'm sorry if you do not resonate with it, please chose another pile if you don't ;-;

->If you are into fwb, you and this person may have done that in the past. If not, you and this person had such a physical chemistry! To be honest, this doesn't seem like an ex at all, but I sense something happened between you two. This person and you liked each other a lot. But there must have been some communication issues. Something must have been taken the wrong way, and you cut contact, separated. You may think of each other a lot, or often. This person is on your mind, you are on their mind. I think this separation timing was more of a time for you two to reflect on what happened, you relationship. You may have gone away because you felt hurt by this person's actions. But with time, you may realize your feelings for this person, and how in love you are with them. You may feel sad without them in your life, and I think you miss them. This could be a Twin Flames pile. You are both being guided to reflect on past actions and what happened, what is blocking the connection and how can you move on from this.

-> You could be healing right now, or working on yourself. You are meant to see things from another perspective right now. Because you are working on yourself, you will be rewarded for sure. This reading may be a sign for you today. You could have been into pick a cards, or astrology, or tarot readings in general to see what is this connection, and maybe it was some help for you, to know where to go. You needed guidance. You and this person will come back to each other, obviously since it is a FS reading, despite me asking the cards how you will meet/ met this person lol. But there will be actions taken. This person could show up at your door for example, and propose or ask you out. You both have grown during this separation and you are def coming back to each other. Don't force it! It will come naturally. You will have a true reconciliation, and you will feel like you are born again, it's a true revival. This is a beautiful ending. Im sorry I couldn't see your actual meeting. Maybe the cards had to say something about that connection.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

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#tarot #love tarot reading #tarots #tarot readings #tarot reading #pick a pile #fs pick a card #love pick a card #pick a picture #pick a card #pac #love pac #love predictions #love prediction #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #love tarot #tarotblr #tarot card reading

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starsworldd · 1 year ago

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Venus Return observations

you guys wanted some more observation posts so here you go!!

readings for these types of charts are open :)

these observations were made using whole signs

how to open your venus return chart: type in “venus return chart” in your browser and click on the first link you see (should be astroseek). insert your birth info and under “return of the planet” click on venus. select the year you want to see your chart for, however it is possible that you won’t have a return chart every year so you may have to use previous/future years

-> having the 1st house ruler in the first means that you could be more confident in the way you express affection/charm/flirting with others.

-> moon in 1st house could be a year where you focus more on self-care

-> the vertex in your return chart and where it lies in your natal chart can show where you may receive compliments or events/experiences having to do with pleasure/fun:

vertex in the 12th house can mean doing unusual/new activities (especially in isolation) that you find fun

vertex in the 5th can mean more recognition for your talents/hobbies

vertex in the 2nd house can mean some experiences with money (positive/negative depending on planets aspecting it)

-> 10th house stellium shows that you may be more popular or be getting more recognition for your art/fashion/charm

-> whereas a 6th house stellium can show someone who finds pleasure and fun in improving their artistic sense AND/OR the native could feel as if pleasurable things have more responsibility now, this could actually mean getting big bucks but also what should be pleasurable (art, music, dance, love) may feel more like a chore or a sacrifice now. i actually see significant 6th house placements in this chart where celebrities have gotten big publicity/success that year (olivia rodrigo, doja cat, billie eilish)

-> 9th house ruler in the 9th shows really important experiences that may help you better your philosophy on self-love, friendships, romantic love, etc… i had this and it was legit one of the best years of my life

-> planets/signs in the 2nd house show what the money/ situation is like that year (ex: mercury shows that you profit off of writing, marketing, communication exchange, etc… or having sagittarius in the 2nd could mean doing something new and exciting that deals with immigration/travel)

-> you should look forward to a year where you have sagittarius rising in this chart…abundance, new experiences, fresh slate :)

-> which house venus sits in for this chart shows how you will find pleasure/happiness/harmony,etc:

venus in 7th = reliable partnerships being formed, possibly getting into a romantic relationship

venus in 8th = easier time in reforming relationships, relationships/art/money are shown in a new light and bring value/worth to your current life

venus in 9th = blessed with a larger perspective on life this year, forming relationships with people outside of your comfort zone

-> natal OR venus return jupiter/part of fortune conjunct venus return rising can mean having an easier time getting what you desire

-> mars in the 7h can mean breaking away from a relationship for your own pleasure/relief

-> jupiter in the 8th can indicate good experiences coming to you from others (sex, vacations, money, etc…)

-> but i think having an 8th house stellium in this chart is bittersweet because it shows that venusian topics may become more of a responsibility/burden, it can limit the way that you want enjoy yourself for that year, BUT as with most 8th house topics, you come out the either side wiser and with a stronger sense of direction and purpose.

-> jupiter in the 4th house, especially if it’s well aspected, on the ic, or in a sign that it likes (cancer, sagittarius, pisces) can show that you make wealth from doing hobbies at home

-> when the sun is in detriment/fall, you could feel less appreciated during that year

-> saturn on the mc can mean that your putting out a lot artistic content for that year or there may be a lot of pressure on your social reputation (another success indicator in my opinion)

-> whereas saturn on the ic can show that the pleasurable/fun experiences you have at home present obstacles, there's something preventing fulfillment of compassion, love, etc... with family. difficult placement in my experience

-> mercury conjunct part of fortune (whether that be in the venus return chart alone or x natal) means that people agree and get along with you better

-> venus return moon conjunct natal ascendant indicates a year where you will feel extremely sentimental and passionate about the things and people you love, you may be reconnecting with old hobbies and interests you left behind

-> sun square mars in the venus return chart means that you're really trying to get attention in an artistic/romantic/connection (depends on what houses the square is in) sense, but you could struggle to feel satisfied, may be an overall unsatisfying year especially if detriment/fall placements are involved (if its >3 degrees orb i wouldn't worry too much)

-> may be obvious, but planets/asteroids that are conjunct your venus highlight important themes for that year:

venus conjunct mars - a year where you may be working more on your hobbies, looks, compassion, etc... depending on the sign indicates succeeding in your goals

venus conjunct saturn/pluto - transformative year, may change your viewpoint on current and future friendships, artistic pleasures, and overall how to find more happiness/fulfillment in your life

venus conjunct mercury - knowledge (book smart), charisma, and social exchanges (online and in-person) are highly beneficial for this year

hope you enjoyed!

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robo-milky · 5 months ago

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[NBC! Cloche]

An amiable girl hesitant to say what’s on her mind, mistaken for shyness by others. She’s comfortable acting as soundscape, reacting to others and prompting them with questions. Her expressions are a bit exaggerated and can switch tones in a heartbeat, which comes off as disingenuous to some. Prefers to subtly hint at her wants (sometimes passive aggressive).

NBC! Cloche is a snapshot of Cloche’ optimism and drive before losing it all. She had always lacked empathy from the start, treating altruism as nothing more but a social obligation. NBC! Cloche overcompensates for her apathy towards others through helpfulness, even if it means self-sabotage.

[RSA! Cloche]

A stubborn girl who will only cooperate on her terms. Not very expressive unless she has strong personal opinions on a topic. Quick to make sarcastic remarks and crude jokes to steer conversations away from sore spots, sometimes coming out as a bit self deprecating. Will not hesitate to be blunt as long as she’s stating the facts.

RSA! Cloche is the perfect balance of identities after Cloche finds her sense of self. After coming to terms that feigning emotions and acting like they don’t exist are both exhausting, she decides to act a little more true to herself. Despite the improvements, nihilism still runs strong in her blood and she has difficulty imagining a future.

[Stepping In]

NBC! Cloche had always dreamed of going to a cleaner, nicer school. Now that she’s actually thrusted into one, she’s having second thoughts. She’ll play nice and try to get into Rollo’s good graces, but finds herself drifting to the “troublemakers” of the school over time. The student council’s unofficial “barista”.

RSA could have been the perfect isekai and escape if it wasn’t for one thing, that damned hoodie. Does it really belong to Cloche? Nobody knows. Aside from a couple gasps and eyebrow raises, the student body is more concerned with getting Cloche back home and adjusting her to this new world with magic. She’ll complain about RSA’s stuffiness, but she’s never met a community so welcoming and kind before. An honorary dwarf hanging around Neige. (After some Magicam stories and appearances, conspiracists speculate she’s a hidden sibling of Neige)

[Notes]

• I did always imagine them to have their own curses, like NRC! Cloche, but not sure if I wanted them to make it to the final cut. NBC! Cloche would be cursed with obligatory honesty, and RSA! Cloche would be cursed to always do what she perceives as the right thing.

• Since NRC is the only school to specifically be a boy’s school (iirc?), Cloche has her women’s rights again.

• During the events of Glorious Masquerade, all Cloches side with NRC in the end. NBC! Cloche is like that one NPC who gives helpful information/lore, and RSA! Cloche ends up with NRC, since Neige and Chenya wouldn’t want a defenceless junior hanging around as they sacrifice themselves.

• RSA! Cloche would 10/10 dye her underlayer an array of colours, but I left it white as a blank canvas. (May also be a hint to tie to Neige). NBC! Cloche still has virgin hair.

• I’ve had this idea marinating since forever and I’m happy to finally do something with it!

• I do have a mini AU/idea where all them coexist at the same time, and there’s a big dilemma in which Cloche to keep/send home. All schools advocate for their Cloche to be the “main” Cloche allowed to exist.

• I’ve always wanted to dive into Cloche as a person and her growth over time— not just her brooding over the cat maid shebang 😭

• To be completely honest- RSA! Cloche started as an old throwaway joke of “what if isekai’d with ahegao hoodie” and I guess I’m sticking with it. She’s not a coomer I swear- For a more fleshed out explanation, Cloche ran away from home wearing the hoodie instead of any else, cause it’s the only jacket she bought with her own money and wants to make a statement of leaving everything she doesn’t own behind. Mystery solved 😔

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swiftyangx12 · 4 months ago

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🕸️Webs Intertwined🕸️

[Pairing]: Villain!Miguel x Spider-Woman![Reader]

[Synopsis]: Miguel has encountered a respectable scientist from another competitor and things get interesting.

[TW]: Female Reader insert, Marvel/ATSV Violence, and Moral Quarrels

[A/N]: This is inspired by @exhaslo’s Corruption series. Ex, if you’re reading this, you’re an awesome writer and I adore your work. Especially the smu-!

Just another day at ALCHEMAX, employees with their assigned duties and responsibilities while heads lowered to avoid distractions. Though, many stir clear from one such scientist, specifically the infamous geneticist and son of the company’s owner, Dr. Miguel O’Hara. A ruthless madman who would do anything to “improve” humanity, no matter whose life is destroyed.

However, things would change when another famous company signed a deal, a collaboration where both respectable parties will start working together for future projects. People whisper among themselves that the other also has their own infamous scientist, but they seem a little "nicer" than O’Hara. For such example, they don’t risk anyone’s live and safety during highly dangerous experiments.

Meet…

[Y/N], a bright and cold bioengineer: I’m Dr. [Y/N] [L/N]. It seems my company is collaborating with yours for the entire year.

Villain!Miguel: “Shock, she’s beautiful.” It appears so.

[Y/N]: My director informed that I’ll be working with you for the time being. Here’s my business card, and contact me for work purposes only.

Villain!Miguel: “Cold and strict. Shocking Hell, gonna melt [Y/N] and make her mine.”

♦️🔷🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️ 🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🔷♦️

As weeks flew by since the start of the collaboration, workers from both sides feel the high tension between O’Hara and [L/N]. Everyday is eventful from the two who always battle each other with different ideas to deem whose is better with less casualties. They even bicker during break times.

[Y/N]: Absolutely not! We are not jeopardizing our coworkers for your cruel experiments. We need to start with smaller subjects before human trials.

Villain!Miguel: Think of the possibilities, [L/N]. Humanity needs better outcomes so it’s best to use them.

[Y/N]: O’Hara, we’re trying to help others. Not play God by sacrificing many people.

Villain!Miguel: Help. You think it would change for the better.

[Y/N]: Rather to continue with testing than have high body counts. It’s why our companies signed together, to enhances civilians so they can live healthier and be at the appropriate age to move on from life.

Villain!Miguel: “Even her view on humanity is too good, and macabre.”

As the sun already set with lights of Nueva York shun bright through the night’s darkness, trouble already started. Criminals from many corners of the city have begun with their dirty work, however a certain spider has to prevent the rates from climbing up.

Spider-Woman: *Hangs the defeated criminals in her web* “Stupid shocking O’Hara. Why so obsessed with messing with people? Trying to prove to someone?” *Sighs* At least these idiots are easy tonight…

Spider-Woman notifies the police to clean the mess up and shoots her webbing, swinging out of the scene. She swung from buildings to skyscrapers while discreet at best to avoid witnesses…

“Did you see the news?”

“An actual hero.”

“We haven’t seen one since the Era of Heroes.”

Word got around as scientists and nosy coworkers gossip among themselves about the mysterious hero. Though they sounded in disbelief, were ecstatic that an actual heroic figure is present in their precious city.

[Y/N]: People, we have work to do. You can talk during your breaks, but not while doing your routines.

Everyone around Dr. [L/N] groan and return to their work while some need their coffee. As unfortunate timing for [Y/N], a familiar presence casted over her.

Villain!Miguel: You don't like the new hero?

[Y/N]: *Not turning to face him while feeling disgust and annoyance* O'Hara. No, it's a distraction. We have other priorities to fulfill before fooling around.

Villain!Miguel: So uptight. Have you actually loosened up during your hours?

[Y/N]: I'm just doing my job. Unlike you, a reckless scientist who care less of others. *Walks past Miguel without looking at him the slightest*

Villain!Migual: *Chuckles lowly* We'll see about that.

Later in the evening, [L/N] had to deliver some late-night reports to Miguel’s office and arrived at the door. She heard from other ALCHEMAX workers of how secretive he is with his work, so he has his A.I. assistant, L.Y.L.A. to drop updates of any whereabouts that concern him.

L.Y.L.A.: *Materializes in front of the bioengineer* Hey girl! Here to drop some reports, I see.

[Y/N]: Yes, I just finished them. Could you let me in?

L.Y.L.A.: Sure thing! *Opens the automated doors to the office* Just be aware I have eyes everywhere. *Adjusts her heart-shaped glasses and smirks*

[Y/N]: “Not for long.”

[Y/N] shivers as the cool air from the room hits her. Before entering, she pulls out a hard drive and inserts it in the keypad next to the doors.

L.Y.L.A.: What are you-

[Y/N]: *Calmly commands* Shut the cameras off.

L.Y.L.A.: *Shuts them off unwillingly* What did you do?

[Y/N]: Just updated your system and added in something that can benefit me. *Her eyes glare down at the A.I.* I want you to follow these commands: don't record any footage involving my presence, especially with audio recordings. This includes what I'm about to commit tonight. And also, don't tell Miguel about this. If you do, I’ll insert a nasty virus that you’ll never recover from. Do I make myself clear?

L.Y.L.A.: *Nods silently and disappears*

Then [Y/N] steps into the room, observing the unfamiliar surrounding and proceeds to drop off the reports. Afterwards, she searches through his desk and found notes explaining some unethical experiments.

[Y/N]: Genetically modified arachnids? O'Hara, what are you playing with? *Snaps most of the notes with her phone*

[Y/N] took more images of the arachind species displayed in the office and neatly places everything back in order. She leaves the room quickly and returns home like nothing happened.

Nights passed since that event, Spider-Woman swings around the city. The breeze hitting her face as being shielded behind her mask, performing the duties as presumably the only hero people are protected by and all seems normal. Until she encounters another problem.

Spider-Woman: *Lands on the wall and sneakily crawls into a safe space to relax a little* Oh my god, that bastard is playing like if he’s God. No worries, he’s just a pawn I’ll knock down.

Then her Spider-Sense is triggered.

Spider-Woman: Shit, someone’s here. *Hides in the shadows*

As Spider-Woman peeks out, she sees a menacingly tall figure stood with his back turn to her view. Dark, skin-tight blue suit with intimidating crimson accents.

Spider-Woman: “Who is he? Wait, that can’t be him, right? I know that backside from anywhere. Ugh, why did I acknowledge the details?"

The crime fighter escapes through the shadows and swings away from the scene.

Back at ALCHEMAX located in a temporary office, the bioengineer herself couldn’t sleep much since the discovery from that night. She knew the man back at the late hour during one of her patrols. It was none other than Miguel because everything was connected from the notes, catalogs of species, and everything to manipulate nature itself, especially the human kind. While lost in thought, [Y/N] didn’t notice someone behind her…

“[Y/N]?”

[Y/N]: *Spider-Sense triggered and quickly turns around* WHAT?!

Villain!Miguel: *Little surprised* You didn’t have to be that tense with me.

[Y/N]: I…I’m just tired from working long hours. Are you here discussing about the project or to annoy me again?

Villain!Miguel: It’s about the project. Stone requested that before it’s finished...

Miguel's voice in [Y/N]'s perspective became mudded as she couldn't stop thinking of that night when it was obvious that the other Spider is in front of her.

Later at night, Spider-Woman was out patrolling as always, shooting her webs to grapple onto buildings as she swings through her beloved city. Then trouble arose as she witness citizens running away from the source.

Spider-Woman: *Lands on the side of a tower and scans the area* Great, Doc Ock came back. *Leaps off and swings in scene*

Spider-Woman reaches to the chaos her notorious nemesis created. She lands in front of the eight-legged former scientist.

Spider-Woman: I thought you were sent to prison, for help.

Doc Ock: They mean nothing to me. All I want is to show who’s boss and why they shouldn’t have!ignored everything I worked hard for!

Spider-Woman: Ock, we…I would have helped you with another way but your actions killed innocent lives.

Doc Ock: *Scoffs* They were in the way.

Spider-Woman: *Pissed* In the way?! *Shoots webs behind Doc Ock*

The webs attach to a wrecked vehicle and Spider-Woman yanks them towards Doc Ock.

Doc Ock: *Blocks the attack by caging themselves with their mechanical appendages*

Spider-Woman: *Wraps more webs around the tentacles*

However Doc Ock breaks free from their bonds and swings their tendrils, attempting to swat at the arachnid figure. Spider-Woman leaps backwards, performing backflips and throwing some Web-Bombs at the mechanical cephalopod. They become stuck in place due to the blown-out silk.

Spider-Woman: Doc, you need to return back to your cell.

Doc Ock: *Struggling to escape* Never…I rather die than be directed by anyone.

Spider-Woman: *Sighs* Just return back. We already caused enough damage for today.

As she was about to finish catching the villain, another criminal was on the loose. Spider-Woman’s sense was triggered but it was too late, the other figure swoops in, able to knock the spider hero. She braces herself and crashes into a wall.

Spider-Woman: *Plops down and barely moving* G-Goblin! You two are working together? *Struggles to get up*

Goblin: *Smiles sinisterly* Bingo! Octco was merely distracting you.

Spider-Woman: *Able to sit up but was kick down by Goblin*

Goblin: Now I get to squish this pesky spider~

Before Goblin could end the heroism of Spider-Woman, they were yanked back by more web.

Spider-Woman: “Neon red? He’s here. Wait, feeling limp…Fuck, passing out…”

[Y/N] shoots up awake, breathing steadily as she looks around the foreign setting. It seems like a bedroom and looking down, her suit is gone replaced with a university shirt and some shorts.

She gets quickly got out of bed and rush out of the room. Walking quickly on the chill wooden flooring and looking for someone. Then, she stops at an office where her worst nightmare sits behind the desk.

[Y/N]: O’Hara? No, wait, I should address you as that other web-crawler.

Villain!Miguel: You finally figured out. Congrats.

[Y/N]: I already know it’s you because of your backside. Who else has a muscular back shaped like the discontinued Doritos?

Villain!Miguel: And who else was acting too suspicious when I already know you’re Spider-Woman?

[Y/N]: You already know my other identity?

Villain!Miguel: Of course I know. I sense you, by your scent.

[Y/N]: You smelled me?! I need a minute.

♦️🔷🕷️🕸️[Hours Later]🕸️🕷️🔷♦️

[Y/N]: *Carefully sips some tea Miguel brewed for her*

Villain!Miguel: Calm down?

[Y/N]: *Sighs* Yeah, I’m good. Disturbed, but good. When did you get your powers, O’Hara?

Villain!Miguel: I had experimented on myself a couple months back. When did you get yours?

[Y/N]: ...

Villain!Miguel: Heh, won't confess? Guess I'll force it out of you~

[Y/N]: Do that and I'll force something up your ass.

Villain!Miguel: *Laughs a little* This is one of the many things I love about you.

[Y/N]: *Sighs* I was bit by a spider that was genetically modified back in my company. My director put me in charge of developing more advacned medicines to help people. Somehow, one of the specimens escaped from its enclosure and you know the rest. I'm Nueva York's only Spider-Hero, until you came along as an invasive pest.

Villain!Miguel: Where did you even get these spiders?

[Y/N]: Some biologists and other specialists procured these kinds of species, but why am I telling you this? I have a mission to fulfill.

Villain!Miguel: What mission?

[Y/N]: It’s none of your business. Personal matters for me, only.

Villain!Miguel: Fine. Then you don’t mind explaining these.

Miguel pulls out [Y/N]’s suit and gadgets he held up. He got a hold of them when the bioengineer was resting from the last battle.

Villain!Miguel: Voice modifier. You really know how to hide your identity.

[Y/N]: O’Hara, this isn’t for show n’ tell. I need my suit back and my gadgets too.

Villain!Miguel: I can’t let you go yet. I need to know more about your powers.

[Y/N]: Miguel, this isn’t the time for jokes. I have a mission and you’re in the way.

Villain!Miguel: Tell me what’s your mission and maybe I’ll hand everything back.

[Y/N]: I’m not explaining until you give my stuff back.

Villain!Miguel: *Smirks and he levels his face to hers* Make me~

[Y/N]: *Punches his stomach hard*

Villain!Miguel: *Crouches down and lets go of [Y/N]’s gadgets and suit*

[Y/N]: *Quickly gatherings her belongings and exits out of the apartment*

That evening, Spider-Woman was swinging around the city. Leaping from one building to the next skyscraper as she tries to formulate another plan to get rid of Miguel. Safely landing on the rooftop of an apartment complex, [Y/N] removed her mask to get some fresh air. Viewing the city helps her to relax and keep calm.

Spider-Woman: *Spider Senses triggered* What now, O’Hara? *Turns her direction towards his*

Spider-Man: *Lifts his hands up* I just followed you.

Spider-Woman: Followed me? *Turns off her modifier* Did you smell me like a blood hound?! Tracking me down and other creepy shit you do.

Spider-Man: ‘Course not. I put a tracker on you.

Spider-Woman: *Finds the tracker and smashes it to bits* What do you want from me?

Spider-Man: I just want to understand why are you doing this. Why’d you have a vendetta against me?

Spider-Woman: You wouldn’t understand, Miguel.

Spider-Man: I know I don’t. Just tell me why?

Spider-Woman: Want to know why? Fine. I’m only doing this to get back at your father for killing my parents. I’ve planned everything just to bring his empire down, along with his prodigy of a monster. I dedicated my life and education to destroy everything Stone built and tear his family apart so no one else can be harmed by them.

Spider-Man: I’m not like my father. I was never like him.

Spider-Woman: Will you shut it? Just like that murderer, you decide to hide everything from the public for your own gain. I’m giving back what people deserve to know.

Spider-Man: *Feels a painful string from that comment* [Y/N], you don’t have to do this.

Spider-Woman: *Scoffs* Oh, please! I know you’re eyeing me the whole time because you assumed I’m a spy, right?

Spider-Man: “No, I thought you are the most beautiful woman I ever met and wishing to have you with me forever. ㅜ_ㅜ”

Spider-Woman: *Sighs* Miguel, just stay away from me. We’re only coworkers by day, not close after hours. Don’t want you ruining everything. *Shoots her web and swings off*

A week has passed, the two are founded in the most uncomfortable atmosphere. [Y/N], still keeping her word of only communicating with Miguel for work while the mad man himself, he didn’t try anything to disturb the other. Colleagues and other workers already knew something happened between them. And it’s a first to see Miguel in a much depressive state.

At the end of the day, there aren’t any crimes to solve and the bioengineer took this as a night off from her responsibilities for now. Then, someone came to visit.

[Y/N]: *Holding up her phone* What are you doing here?

“Villain”!Miguel: *Sighs* Here. *Holds out a thumb drive* It’s most of the data of ALCHEMAX’s illegal projects.

[Y/N]: *Looks at him suspiciously and carefully takes the thumb drive* You know I’ll be running this if it’s untraceable and hopefully you’re not tricking me.

“Villain”!Miguel: I’m not. Why’d you have to be so cold?

[Y/N]: I don’t trust you, that’s why. You’re Stone’s son and heard from former workers that you were evil enough to force them to participate in dangerous trials. It proves my judgement on you is true.

“Villain”!Miguel: …What if I prove you wrong?

[Y/N]: What?

“Villain”!Miguel: I’ll prove I’m not bad.

[Y/N]: Really? Would that undo the years of torment you caused?

“Villain”!Miguel: No. I can do better. Just give me a chance.

[Y/N]: “I don’t know. He’s probably using this as an advantage against me. Better not let my guard down. Though, he’ll be more persistent if he continues.” Fine, are you willing to put your own father behind bars?

“Villain”!Miguel: If it shows I’m good, yeah.

[Y/N]: “It takes time to gain my trust, you freaky-ass man.”

As months pass, the atmosphere surrounding the two scientists feels lighter. The duo seemed to communicate better without much disdain though they sometimes quarrel and in their case, [Y/N] would be the one to walk away from the conversation to cool off but is always followed by a 6'9 semi-former mad scientist like if he was a dog worried about his fuming owner.

[Y/N]: Dr. O'Hara, would you stop following me? And quit hugging me, I'm working.

"Villain"!Miguel: *Holds her closer to his chest* No. I feel better staying with you.

Some of their colleagues are questioning their dynamic.

"What’s happening with Dr. O'Hara?”

“You think he finally lost his mind?”

“Don’t know, but I think Dr. [L/N] has something to do with his behavior.”

[Y/N]: O’Hara, people are talking about us. Let me go.

“Villain”!Miguel: So? Let ‘em. At least they know not to bother us.

[Y/N]: “Ugh. Such a clingy man.”

In the duration of their time together, the two Spiders were able to gather evidence of Stone’s future plans and defeat other villains connected to him, bringing down the corrupted empire. With his presence gone, someone else would have to take over his position which leads to Miguel filling in the role.

[Y/N]: Well, our collaboration has finished just as Stone is taken custody for his crimes. This means we’ll not see each other as much.

“Villain”!Miguel: Yeah, that’s right.

[Y/N]: It was pleasant working with you while it lasted. Hopefully we’ll work together in the future. *Remains professional but has a sadden look in her eyes*

Before she can leave, Miguel stopped her tracks.

“Villain”!Miguel: Wait. If you’re okay with this, could I buy you a drink? If you’re alright with that. I know it doesn’t make up what happened to you and everything my father did to hurt your family. I want to be better for you and do everything I can to help make your life easier-

[Y/N]: Miguel, stop. With everything we went through these past months of cooperating with our projects for making the future better and safer while stopping your father, I’ll take my chances going out with you.

“Villain”!Miguel: [Y/N]… *Gently holds her hands* Gracias, for trusting me to take you out.

The months after the confession, [Y/N] still works for her company while Miguel runs ALCHEMAX by his own terms. Changing for the better of his employees and botches out the illegal activities Stone left after his arrest. Everything seems to be the same, though the only thing that has evolve were Nueva York’s heroes working as partners and lovers…

[5 years later]

[Y/N]: …And they lived happily together for the rest of their lives.

Gabriella: Woah…Love does change people.

[Y/N]: *Smiles warmly* It does. Now… *Tucks her daughter in* It’s bed time, sweetheart.

Gabriella: What happened to the couple?

[Y/N]: I’m sure they’re enjoying life together and keeping each other loved.

♦️🔷🕷️🕸️[Later]🕸️🕷️🔷♦️

[Y/N]: Gabi’s asleep. Miguel, I’m worried.

Miguel: What’s there to worry about?

[Y/N]: Our daughter could have our powers, but the side effects…What if they hurt our baby?

Miguel: Cariño, there’s no worry. I checked and she won’t have to suffer.

[Y/N]: Still, I don’t want her to feel as if the powers are a curse.

Miguel: We’ll do everything we can to help her. Be there for her.

[Y/N]: You’re right. We need to be by her side.

Miguel: Sí, we’ll support her. Hey, maybe we’ll give her some “enforcements” to cheer for her. *Giving her a knowing look*

[Y/N]: *Understood the innuendo* Miguel, I was still sore from our first time. Despite having powers, you ravaged me like a demon in heat.

Miguel: Thought you needed a day off at that time.

[Y/N]: *Deadpans at him* -_- I had to call in sick for the next three days.

Miguel: Then Gabi wouldn’t exist if we didn’t.

[Y/N]: *Sighs* At least it was on a Saturday. Come on, it’s your turn patrolling. Maybe after you come back, we’ll talk about siblings if Gabi is okay with it.

Miguel: *Gets thrilled hearing a possibility of growing his family* I’ll get to it.

[Y/N]: Okay. Just come back in one piece. *Kisses on his lips* And still breathing. I love you.

Miguel: *Smiles down at her* Love you, too.

[THE END]

[Tagged]: @mrsoharaa @lazyjellyfish300 @hao-ming-8 @greensagephase @queenoftiddies @kenjioharashotspot

[A/N]: FINALLY! I FINISHED THIS PIECE THAT’S BEEN IN MY DRAFT FOR MONTHS! Yes, I wrote Villain!Miguel as if he was a neglected puppy who wants to be with the feisty kitten (The [Reader]). But it adds flavor for a Hero x Villain trope. I tried to write the reader as someone who acts cold, but with boundaries they put up for valid reasons. The kind of traits like Viper from Valorant. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this story.

💙🕷️❤️Reblogs help creators and creates more content💙🕷️❤️

#Marvel #Spider-Man: Across The Spiderverse #Across The Spiderverse #ATSV #Spider-Man 2099 #Miguel O’Hara #Villain!Miguel #Villain!Miguel x Reader #Villain!Miguel x Hero!Reader #Spider-Man 2099 x reader #Miguel O’Hara x reader #Across The Spiderverse x reader #ATSV x reader

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evolnoomym · 6 months ago

Text

Bigger than the whole sky 🌌

Dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Pt.2🌠 | Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: You meet Joel and well of course you fall for each other. It’s a bit bumpy since he’s your Dads best friend. But things seem to work out until they don’t anymore. One event changes everything.

Rating: 18+ mature content mdni!!!!

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings: no use of y/n, pov switches that might be confusing, female reader, reader has hair, reader wears makeup, reader can get pale, weight loss, implied childhood abuse, trauma, angst, heavy angst(?), implied smut, alludes to pregnancy, funerals, coffins, reader has no name only a bunch of nicknames, size difference, dbf!Joel Miller, mentions of throwing up, loss of a loved one, grief, depression (?), food and eating issues are mentioned, talks of having a baby, Blood, dark thoughts, intrusive thoughts, age gap, readers age is not exactly mentioned but Joel is 44, talks of getting married….

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: this is for @almostfoxglove ‘s Angst Writing Challenge. Shoutout to her she created the moodboard, it’s sooooo beautiful. 🫶🏻

Shoutout to @thecutestgrotto and @cafekitsune for the dividers 💙

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. This is also only my second time posting writing for a specific character. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly. This not beta read btw only by my eyes and they hurt after starring at the screen for so long 🌌🫶🏻

And lastly I’ll leave some songs i listened to while writing <3

loml by Taylor Swift

Black Friday by Tom Odell

This is what the drugs are for by Gracie Abrams

I guess by Mitski

Present by Lloyd Vaan

Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson

Home by Daughter

Allowed to be Happy by Gustavo Santaolalla

Song on the Beach by Arcade Fire, Owen Pallet

aisatsana [102] by Aphex Twin

Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

Francis Forever by Mitski

A House In Nebraska by Ethel Cain

Medicine by Daughter

Youth by Daughter

I can barely say his name by Patrick Jonsson

listen before I go by Billie Eilish

You remember exactly how you met Joel Miller, it was so simple. He was the one to give your Dad a job at the construction company he led together with his younger brother Tommy. In the beginning you only heard how great of a boss he supposedly was through your Dads stories.

Joel and him seemed to have grown into real good friends in the span of mere weeks. You always had wondered what the man from his stories was like in person, up close.

When you had to drive to the construction site to bring your Dad his lunch he had forgotten due to being a bit busy that morning. It seemed like your wishes to meet Joel would become reality. You didn’t think the big boss would spend his precious time with the actual building process but as you'd figure out in the future, Joel is a hands on kinda guy.

You must’ve looked super out of place and quite lost when he approached you. His Texas drawl still echoed through your head hours later. „Well Hello Darlin, lookin for someone?“ and if that alone didn’t completely blew you away, then certainly his stunning looks. When you turned towards the voice a tall, broad and awfully handsome man looked back at you.

After an awkward beat of silence he stretched his hand out towards you “Apologies sweetheart, should’a start with the name, huh?” Tilting his head slightly “Name’s Joel, Joel Miller.” At that you let your hand slip onto his outstretched one. His hand was so huge, warm and calloused. Shaking his hand kinda calmed you down Joel Miller was absolutely lovely. “Nice to finally meet the famous Joel Miller that my Dad keeps yapping about nonstop.” You giggled while cheekily winking at him.

That must’ve been a key moment for everything that was to follow. You’d see Joel again and again. Whether due to your Dad inviting the single, 44 year old Man over or due to you having to deliver your Dad’s forgotten food.

The tension was slowly building higher and higher between you two until one day in Joel’s office you could no longer hold back.

Joel stood in his office with you by his side, in front of a pinboard containing all sorts of information about his newest project. He was animatedly explaining processes you’d never understand in a million years. You actually kind of tuned him out and just enjoyed being unbelievably close to him.

Then his face kinda looked confused. Oh no he must’ve asked you a question. Shaking your head you say “Mhhh sorry, what did you just ask?” Joel tilts his head towards you the way he always does and then states “Ya didn’t listen to a single word I just said, right Sweetcheeks?”

He always comes up with the most ridiculous nicknames that cause a vicious pull in your lower stomach. You lost count of how many conversations with him ended in drenched panties.

“I….i -of course I was listening to you, why wouldn’t I?” You stammered a bit offensively, surely he’d see right through you.

“Hm kay, so what was I talkin bout, gorgeous?” He’s teasing at this point.

“Ok I wasn’t listening but that is a lot I don’t get anyway so can you really blame me, Miller?” You fired back.

“So, whatcha thinkin bout inside of that pretty little head of yours, instead of listening to me?” You just scoff at him “Let’s not pretend you don’t know exactly what I was thinking about Joel.” Pointing one accusing finger at his broad chest. At that motion Joel enveloped your wrist in one of his massive hands, pulling you closer that way. Until you were right in front of him, only a tiny space left between your faces. “Why don’t ya tell me whatcha thinkin about Baby?”

He must know, just by seeing how your eyes keep slipping down to glance at his pillowy lips, what is going through your head. You’ve been dancing around this topic, the tension, the pull towards each other, how forbidden it is for all of this to happen. Joel is your Dads Best friend and he’s twice as old as you are but you know that if you don’t kiss him right now you’ll go insane. It’s all you think about, kissing him and then some more.

For the first time in years you actually consider letting someone get so close again. Joel would never hurt you like the ones before him did, no, he’s mature and wouldn’t play any of those stupid games. You know how kind, considerate, protective and caring he is for the ones he loves. Sure it won’t be easy to explain any of this to your Dad but you can’t think about that right now, no, you have to kiss Joel, it’s the last thought before leaning up to push your lips against his.

One chaste kiss that erupted into a full blown make out session that only got interrupted by some frantic knocks at Joel’s Office door.

From that day on those meetings became a routine, in his office, his truck, his house or sometimes he’d take you out of town for a super secret Date. The thrill of hiding with the possibility of getting caught soon turned into shame for lying to your Dad so much. You wanted to tell him even though it scared you more than anything how he might react.

Surprisingly though he didn’t completely freak out, of course he was shocked and confused how this combination came to be. More than anything he took the lying personally and made clear that as long as you are happy, so is he. If Joel was the one then so be it, besides your Dad has a lot of respect for Joel and knows you're in good hands.

After 3 months of being an official couple Joel asked if you’d be happy to move in with him. You had to think about it for a long time, feeling quite guilty about leaving your Dad behind but he reassured you that he would be fine on his own. He told you that a grown woman like you shouldn’t have to live with her boring old man anymore than you already did.

So you moved into Joel’s house. And what followed were months filled with wonderful memories. Many barbecues were held, your Dad and Joel always standing at the grill together, each nursing on their beer bottles.

Whenever you wanted to try a new recipe your Dad was invited over so you could make sure he still ate enough, the night always ending with you sending him home with a bunch of Tupperware's filled to the brim with deliciously homemade meals.

When you wanted to paint the walls in the living room a new shade your Dad came over to help.

Making sure his baby girl is happy and content was your Dads number one priority.

Then one day you went over to his house to catch up a little bit, just you two having some Dad and Daughter one on one quality time.

He was so excited when you told him that Joel and you want to have a baby.

He told you what a great mother you’d make because of how wonderful you always have been with kids and how much you always wanted to have kids of your own.

To others it might’ve been weird to share such an information with their Dad but you have such a close bond that it’s not weird at all.

You were so happy on the drive home cuz you know what great grandpa he’d make.

It must've been exactly one week later when you woke up with an indescribable feeling in your chest. As if the world spun a little slower, or the air felt more compromising…whatever it was you couldn’t stop feeling like something had happened.

Your intuition only perked up more when your Dad didn’t show up for the usual Sunday’s breakfast you recently started doing.

After 8 calls that nobody picked up you told Joel you would drive over there and as if he knew that you would need him for whatever was awaiting you there, he came with you.

The closer you got to the house the worse you felt. Hands sweaty, heartbeat racing and your stomach felt like turning over at the sight of the house. Usually he would be up by now playing his obnoxiously loud music that you’d hear on the street through the open kitchen window. Instead it was eerily quiet.

When Joel had parked the car he told you to wait for him but you couldn't. You just ran up the steps, unlocked the door with your spare key and bolted through the house as if on instinct you skipped up the steps to his bedroom. You flung the door open and there he was. Just laying on his designated side with his glasses still on and one hand on his chest across his heart. He looked like he was just sleeping but deep down you knew he was not. You can’t remember a lot, only that you immediately bolted towards the bathroom to empty your stomach out, Joel came up too and tried comforting you through the heaving. Then he tried to get you away from the scene. Joel took care of everything while you just locked up inside of yourself. No tears, no screams, no words, not a singular reaction just nothing. Joel had never seen you look so…empty.

Later on the authorities would say it’s just natural cause, he simply passed in his sleep, nothing dramatic. Not the kind of closure you would have wanted. It didn’t matter how “normal” it was, your world stopped spinning entirely. Everyone seemed to go one but you just stopped.

Suddenly without any foreshadowing everything was completely flipped on its head. You loved him so much, he was your best friend. He told you all the time how much he loved you even with all your struggles. You’d never have to prove your worth to him; he'd love you no matter what. In his eyes you were a gift, opposite to your mother that looked at you as a burden. You never felt loved by her. She took away your precious childhood and forced you to grow up quickly. So you could take care of her. Even when you told her how close to the edge you were she always made everything about herself. Out of your parents the one person that actually wanted you, died and with him so did your willingness to continue with the fight against all your inner demons.

You lost yourself after that. For weeks you just slept, barely moving, only getting up to use the toilet and perhaps eat something small and drink a bit. Joel had to shower you, otherwise you wouldn’t have done it yourself. Who you were before losing your Dad was gone, as if you died with him.

Joel tried everything in his power to make you feel better. One time he wanted to paint with you since you loved to do that, but the moment your eyes caught sight of the little paint pots you ran for the toilet to empty out your stomach. Later on he realized his mistake, you used to paint with your Dad a lot all the way back in your childhood so of course that would not make you feel better. Then he tried playing music for you either your favorite songs from your playlist or on his guitar. Nothing, you just continued to be completely catatonic.

Then the funereal came, a day Joel dreaded he was not sure you’d be able to handle it. In the morning he made your hair and applied a bit of makeup, he watched you do your little routine often enough to know what he was doing. Afterwards he dressed you in a simple black dress and equally black flats. Walking only worked since Joel kept you upright.

Sitting in the front row bench at the chapel you looked like a ghost. Pale and sunken in. You were asked to do a speech about your Dad but that would’ve been impossible. So Joel went up to do it instead. You just stared straight ahead at the coffin, not sparing a glance towards Joel.

And once everything was over, the people, mostly his colleagues, paid him their respects. When everyone was gone you stayed and just laid your head on the coffin silently sobbing, which was the most emotion Joel had seen in weeks from you. Only he was to witness this vulnerability.

Staring at the completed grave was just as daunting. His name is written in cold stone. All that’s left is this hole in the earth and a stone on top with his name.

You walked away without sparring another glance toward the grave.

Then it seemed like you were getting better. You spoke more, ate more and slept less. You even searched out body contact with Joel, though it was just some cuddling and gentle kissing. But he took it as a step in the right direction.

You almost fully returned to your old self but Joel could have not predicted how wrong he would be.

He should’ve listened to his gut that told him something was off when you didn’t kiss him goodbye before he left for work that morning.

You know how hard it will be but there’s no other choice. You have to get away, you have to leave so he can find someone better, someone who deserves a man like Joel Miller, someone less troubled, someone normal.

Those fears you have now, always were inside of you but with your Dad passing they just all came to the surface. Grief killed you, it took everything, it’s as if you're in a room with a beautiful glowing bulb and some dark entity just rips it away. You're left in the dark and not even Joel’s light can make it better.

You lost something nothing can replace.

All your life you feared what would happen if you’d lose someone like this without any way of getting closure, he died without any warning just poof and gone he was.

Your final goodbye was never said.

Now you can’t remember how he used to be, you only remember him laying in his bed without moving a damn muscle,dead. You were the one to find him and even though it was not some unsettling scene it’s not leaving your head. You try hard to remember how he spoke that sarcastic tone he usually used.

You can’t remember his face anymore, not even looking at pictures brings him back and at the same time he’s all you think about as if he’s haunting you. You hate him for leaving you so early. Why him? What kind of curse was laid upon you that everything always seems to fall apart when you think it’s finally working out.

It’s as if some higher up can sense that you are happy and content with your life and they don’t want to give you that sorta life.

The moment your brain processed what had happened you fell into the darkness like a big hole that sucked you in without any way out. Anyone around you could be another loss so what do you do? You leave, you disappear so no one gets hurt by whatever is wrong with you.

Looking at yourself hurts because it’s him you see and it’s him you hear in your head he’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Sometimes you feel like you’re hallucinating because you swear to see him round the corner, you can almost hear him call out but when you try to look there’s nothing.

Sometimes but much rarer than you’d like to admit you’ve visited the grave, sometimes you speak to no one. Sometimes you scream in agony till you almost lose consciousness from the lack of oxygen. Sometimes you just stare.

It’s a sick twist of events considering how often he walked on cemeteries with you as a child. You didn’t understand the meaning behind them back then, you only loved to admire the beautiful flower ornaments laying on top of the graves. Your dad always told you how soothing these walks seemed for you.

One time he took you and you had so much fun admiring the flowers giggling and smiling. Your dad wanted to tell you off since it’s a place where people grieved especially with a woman sitting nearby crying. He went to apologize to her on your behalf but the woman told him not to. She thought it was an uplifting sight to see little you having so much joy about the flowers, that’s a story he always kept telling you again and again.

All your life those walks soothed your frayed mind. The quiet somber energy is something no other place could compare with. Now it’s the last place you’d wanna be in. The moment you step foot on the property, the panic starts to creep up on you. The closer you get to him the worse it gets.

Sometimes the voices in your head scream to just start digging into the earth to get him out of that godforsaken coffin. Look at him, do something to bring him back. If the devil would show up to take you instead of your dad you’d do it. He was a troubled man but he tried so hard. He did not deserve any of this, he should’ve been here for all the good times yet to come.

You imagined him walking you down the aisle, having that stupid first look with him where he’d surely try so hard not to cry but looking at his baby in a wedding dress would’ve been way too much for him to stay strong. You imagined having your first dance with him.

You imagined how excited he would’ve been to hear that he was going to be a grandpa. In your head you can see him with a little baby that looks just like you. But none of this will ever happen; he's dead.

Sometimes it’s hard to even look at Joel. He's connected to him as well; he was his boss and one of his closest friends. It’s not fair you know but in your head you see Joel and your dad laughing on the porch about some old men shit like always making their awful dad jokes. Or drinking a beer together or looking to fix something around the house.

The house, Joel’s house and a place your dad spent a lot of time in. Walking through the hallways is not pleasant anymore, the couch is avoided as best as you can. He used to sit here all the time watching soccer games with Joel. The chair at the dining table he always sat on had to be removed simply seeing it made you sick and eating was already a hefty struggle since he passed.

He left a mark anywhere and all of it was getting too much. The pressure in your head becomes more and more unbearable.

Even though you tried to push all those negative festering thoughts away the voices could not be shut up no matter what you tried.

The worst was when they started to go for Joel, suddenly all you could think of was how he’d die. Joel is only 10 years your dad’s junior. So if he died then why not Joel too.

So many horrible scenarios played out inside your mind. Car accident, some freak accident on a construction site, getting attacked by multiple people, torturing him slowly, beating him to death, his head all split open, blood everywhere, or what if he gets shot by some crazy Texan who loves guns. There really was not a scenario left to imagine.

Nightmares in the most cruel ways destroying you slowly from the inside out. And that just proved how one thing can make an avalanche of events happen. He was your purpose for most of your life, you only continued to play this game called life because you could not leave him. And now he left you.

One time he told you how if it weren’t for you he’d be dead or in jail since there would be no reason to give a damn about his life. He was just like you, living for others instead of for himself. No one understood you like him. Somewhere deep inside you know he wouldn’t want you to blame yourself so much but that singular fact does nothing compared to all the ever suffocating darkness.

You’d give anything to have him back, feel his warm embrace one more time, hear him say how much he loves you, have him tell you one of his stories, have him tell you it’s going to be alright, take one more look and inhale his signature scent. You have one of his shirts doused in his favorite perfume, it’s what you used to do in all those years you lived far away from him during childhood. Now it does not help like it did back then. What remains of him? Nothing, all of his stuff shoved into a storage unit looked up, buried just like him.

You know Joel tried hard to be supportive and not push you too hard. Sometimes you wished he would’ve just screamed at you, slapped some sense into you and told you to stop being such a disgraceful mess. That’s what they would’ve done.

But Joel is not like that, he helped you so much. Putting himself so far behind. So much so that you feel sorry he has to deal with an ill girlfriend, that’s what you are, a mental wreck.

He deserves better treatment than the lackluster one you have given him in the last months. He deserves to be free of your weight dragging him down towards the abyss. Even though he told you in the beginning that he loves you with all the baggage and all the challenges, you cannot let him continue to waste his time.

Besides you’re convinced he’d leave you anyway like everyone before one way or another you end up alone. You have no control of the situation but if you leave then you have the control it still hurts but it’s the only option in your head.

The decision was made weeks ago, it felt wrong to lie to Joel to keep him thinking everything is fine only to then rip it all away but perhaps it’ll make him hate you so it’s easier. If he hates you then he will be able to move on with his life. Burn all you build together down.

And then you knew today would be the day. You couldn’t bear to kiss him in the morning; it would only make everything harder. Some time after he left you got up. One last time using the shower you both occasionally used together having foam party’s, giggling, washing each other and then kissing, touching till it leads to you with your cheek squished against the tile and Joel behind you ferociously hitting that special spot inside of you, till you both reach your high. Now you’re alone staring at that specific spot in the tiles, too much so you turn away.

One last time looking at yourself in the mirror above the sink, the mirror Joel and you both looked into while brushing your teeth. You dry your hair, put on fresh clothes, nothing too dramatic, just some simple black leggings and a black cotton shirt.

Then you start packing the most important stuff into two big suitcases. Basically only clothes, some hygiene products and a few trinkets that you don’t want to leave behind. The rest can be either sold by Joel or thrown away. You don’t care, the less holding you back the better.

Once the suitcases are packed you haul them down the stairs towards the front door. And then you just wait. For hours you sit at the dining table just staring ahead at the wall opposite where so many photos of Joel and you hang so many memories and you’ll destroy it.

You should feel bad but these days you barely feel anything, numb is what you think you feel most of the time. Maybe that’s what your ex meant when he said that you don’t own a heart, that you’re a cold blooded mean person. Someone who plays with people until they stop serving their purpose, that's what he said.

It’s almost 8pm, Joel should be home soon. You have practically studied the words you’ll say. An Uber already ordered to arrive 15 minutes after he should get home. Not much to talk about the less the easier so you can just walk away.

Then you hear it, Joel’s truck driving up the driveway and coming to a halt. How he gets out and slams the door shut behind him. His keys jiggling while he searches for the right one. Unlocking the door and closing it behind him. You don’t turn towards him although you know he must be looking at you in astonishment. He can not miss the suitcases and something about the lack of his words tells you he knows exactly what this means.

Joel cannot believe what he walked into, he knew something was off but just thought that he was starting to imagine things but here you are sitting like an empty shell of yourself and the packed suitcases can only mean one thing, he tries his hardest not to freak out that won’t make anything better.

He starts walking towards you, slowly, once he reaches the threshold of the living room he speaks up

“Moon, Darling what’s goin on?” He immediately continues “What’s with those suitcases, huh?” He can’t even hide the nervous quiver in his voice.

You turn to finally look at him with empty eyes, get up and walk up to him and then “I have to leave.” And with that you move to walk past him but Joel stops you by reaching for you arm, you immediately pull your arm away hissing “Don’t fuckin touch me Joel.”

He’s stunned by this harsh rejection, his expression full of hurt. Yet he persists by getting close, grabbing your face with both hands, his warm calloused hands that you love- loved so much. He urges “Talk to me baby, what is going on, why would ya need to leave?” Even with everything he tried to be gentle, his voice panicked yet almost just a whisper.

He can see in your eyes some sadness creeping in when you mutter “Joel..-“ you take one deep inhale “-…this House no longer feels like home.” He can tell even with how hard you try to appear collected that it pains you to say those words. “Wh…what do ya mean? If- if the house is the problem we can just move.” You cut in “No Joel, no i..I don’t love you anymore. Ok? I can’t stay here any longer.”

It’s a punch right into his gut there’s no way you are serious. “Baby all ya stuff is here you can’t just leave.” He tries to find something to buy him time. “I don’t care Joel just…just throw it away or sell it or I don’t know fuckin burn it. I won’t need it anyway.” He’s so shocked that you use that to continue your path towards the front door and the waiting suitcases.

On top of one suitcase lies a tote bag containing your phone, a jacket and your wallet sits. You swing it over your shoulder, you can hear that Joel has started crying, his huffed breaths are all you can hear.

That’s when a car starts honking outside, the Uber is here, you go to open the front door twisting the knob you can hear him walking up behind you with heavy steps. You open the door anyway with him at your back and you move the suitcases out onto the porch. Joel’s trying his hardest to contain his sobbing to a minimum but it’s hard he loves you so much, he thinks about the ring in his wardrobe hidden behind stuff you’d never go for and he thinks about the talks you two had of having a baby. If only he knew��

His heart is breaking watching you walk away from all of it. You turn to him, one last time, he looks shattered, you've never seen Joel like this, you give him a nod as if to give him the ok to touch you one more time if only to give some kind of closure. He moves closer without hesitation and takes your face in his hands once more and leans his forehead against yours. His frantic breathing collides with your face and then “Wh…why Baby just why?” He sobs A simple question and you decide to give him at least something you reach up to put your hands over his to get him to open his eyes.

“Joel I’m not myself anymore, i-…i feel so all over the place and I’m so scared.” Tears start clouding your sight. “I need to be away from everything. I need to be alone far away to just maybe find some peace. I need to be gone.” And the tears start falling “No matter where I look I can’t stop seeing him and it’s crushing me.” Now you're full on crying. He’s processing what you’re saying and somewhere in his mind he understands that, still he can’t believe this is it.

“Ok-….if ya need to go at least promise you’ll give some sorta sign ya alright?” He looks desperate “Please Baby….please just a text something anything.” You only nod and then pull out of his grasp, take the suitcases and shakinly make your way to the Uber. Joel can only watch and hope you’ll stick to your words, hope that you’ll find some kind of way back to yourself.

The Uber driver gets out as you approach and opens the trunk helping to put the suitcases in there. Then you walk to the right door on the back, open it and hesitate for a moment. Joel holds his breath but you continue to slip into the backseat. Closing the door and off the car goes. Joel doesn’t know for how much longer he stood on the porch long after the car was gone. What was there is no more.

Npt: @almostfoxglove @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @studioghibelli @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @the-mandawhor1an @rivnedell (honestly I’m tagging pretty randomly, sorry) 💙

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

#Joel Miller #joel miller one shot #dbf!joel #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #angst #almostfoxgloveangstchallenge #Mina’s writing #my writing

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