#in the context of friendships. parent child relationship and romantic relationships

[sokokoko]

Prompt #22

"I don't want someone to need me; that sounds like one of the most frightening things in the world. I just want someone to want me."

[dicipher]

I think an interesting idea- considering some people argue that there isn't much romance in homicipher, is that this game IS full of love, just not traditional kinds. Variety! Woo!

"Unconditional love, simply put, is love without strings attached. It's love you offer freely. You don't base it on what someone does for you in return. You simply love them and want nothing more than their happiness."

"Someone is said to be suffering from delusional love disorder when they feel that that their feelings of love are reciprocated, despite glaring evidence of this being not true. People with delusional love disorder often feel that other people are in love with them."

"A love-hate relationship means that you hold both positive and negative feelings toward something. In the case of relationships, a person with a love-hate relationship with their partner both loves and hates something(s) about said relationship. These feelings can be both simultaneous or alternating — someone might go from loving to hating their partner very quickly, or experience a complicated mix of both at all times."

"One-sided love, also known as unrequited love, occurs when one person has romantic feelings for another who does not reciprocate those feelings. This situation can arise in various contexts, including friendships, crushes, or even long-term relationships where one partner may not feel the same way." (Note: this refers to the player's love, not his)

"Caring, on the other hand, can be seen as a broader concept that encompasses concern, empathy, and a willingness to support and help someone. While love is often seen as a more intense and emotional state, caring can be a more practical and action-oriented expression of concern for someone's welfare." (Note: custodial as in, in charge of someone. Like a caretaker, parent, etc)

"Ludus is playful, noncommittal love. Ludus covers things like flirting, seduction, and casual sex. Ludus means “play” or “game” in Latin, and that pretty much explains what ludus is: love as a game. When it comes to ludus, a person is not looking for a committed relationship."

"Conditional love is often characterized by the idea that affection and support are given based on specific conditions being met (eg, behavior, achievements, or circumstances)." (Note: Gap's love is ironically, transactional)

"Platonic love is a type of love in which sexual desire or romantic features are nonexistent or have been suppressed, sublimated, or purgated, but it means more than simple friendship" (extra: "Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others."

"Childish/child-like love is blind. It buys love and doesn't hesitate to manipulate in order to do so. Childish love tends to control and hang onto and therefore doesn't set us or the people we love free." "Selfish love in a relationship is when one prioritizes their own desires and needs over their partner's. It often involves manipulating or expecting the relationship to cater primarily to one's own comfort and goals."

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Question for the artist, whats the parameters for drawing fusion fanart? Because a lot of people see it as a romanic thing, but it isnt always that. For example, are you okay with fans drawing steven fused the crystal gems? Are you okay with fans drawing any fusions including CG, or is that an ick?

Okay, SO. I apologize for answering this late - I was trying to find the correct way to reply to this ask without coming off as someone extremely senile and jaded.

First things first - I really appreciate you taking my feelings into consideration on this! I can tell it comes from a place of genuine kindness and caring, and I think that's awesome.

I'm not unfamiliar with the fact that some artists feel very protective of their characters, and sometimes try to lay down rules about how they are to be viewed, how they are to be drawn by others, etc. So I don't blame you at all for assuming this is something that needs to be done, given the current fandom environment in certain spaces.

That all being said.

This idea that drawing characters in Situations Which May Be Uncomfortable To Someone With A Specific Interpretation Of The Media (which is not at all supported by canon text) is transgressive is..... boy...... that's not a good one.

It is..... Extremely Evangelical in its conception.

Guys. GUYS. Thought crime isn't a crime. ART isn't a crime.

But to answer your question -

Yes, you can absolutely draw Steven - WD!AU Steven - fusing with the gems or CG.

Yes, you can absolutely draw CG fusing with Steven or the Crystal Gems, etc.

Because

Even if someone DID assume fusion was romantic primarily, that doesn't mean it should be the default, and in fact it ISN'T. Many, MANY fusions in the show are not representative of romantic relationships.

Canon Steven, in the Canon show, fused with TONS of people he didn't have romantic feelings for. Most of the people, outside of Connie, for a start.

Even if imagining CG in a romantic relationship with the Crystal Gems DOES give me the 'ick' (which, actually, yeah, it kinda does I guess, given that I can't really see that thing happening given that she's effectively (not LITERALLY) a child) that doesn't mean YOUR art has to be limited by my presumptions of what fusion means in this context, if we disagree on it

And not to put too fine a point on it but

Fusion ISN'T inherently about romance.

Fusion ISN'T inherently sexual!

No part of the show supports either of these ideas. Fusion is and always has been explicitly about various types of RELATIONSHIPS - including things like sibling bonds (Smokey Quartz), parent-child relationships (Steg, Steven and ANY of the CGs), friendships, Unhealthy Control-Seeking (Malachite) and just straight up collaborative murder (a la Aquamarine and Ruby).

Yes, some fusions ARE inherently romantic in nature, but that does not mean ALL fusions adhere to these rules. In fact, MOST fusions aren't even about that.

And even if they were.............we're all allowed to express our OWN interpretation of things using art. That's not an Ungood Thought that you should be shamed for.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[i-heart-hxh]

Do you think killua realizes the intense feelings for gon are actually romantic in nature? He is still a kid, one who was pretty sheltered in life until recently, so I doubt he has a full grasp on the full spectrum of human emotions, especially since he probably had to repress them a lot as a child/interacted very little with people outside of his family.

I personally think he has at least some idea of the nature of his feelings by the time they separate, though it's debatable to what degree. Even though you're totally right that he's grown up isolated from most of society and his emotions were suppressed growing up, he's shown having some awareness of romance and sexuality (examples: his reaction to Leorio wanting to feel up Leroute in the Hunter Exam, knowing what shibari--a type of bondage--is in Yorknew, his panic/misunderstanding about what Gon meant when talking about going on "dates" in the past, and understanding the potential situation with Meruem having Palm/a woman with him in Chimera Ant arc). His parents are married and he does have older siblings, and he presumably had internet access as well, so those might be potential reasons why he's less naive than Gon.

I think the Palm situation may have forced him into some kind of tipping point when thinking about the meaning of his feelings. Plus, he was the one who used the word shinjuu (lovers suicide) to describe what he was planning to do with Gon, which is a word that seems to imply some awareness on his part. Surely he would have heard of that in the context of doomed lovers, which is most commonly how it's used.

There isn't enough to go off of in canon to say for sure he knows, though--and I've discussed lately how the friends vs comrades crisis within him may be "coding" for him trying to understand his romantic feelings, which would lead one to think maybe he doesn't totally understand, or perhaps he's in denial to some degree even if he does partially understand his feelings.

I personally think he has a jumble of thoughts and emotions about it that are hard for him to untangle fully, and they may shift constantly. By Greed Island and beyond he seems pretty smitten, so it's unlikely that he wouldn't notice his feelings and consider what they mean as time goes by, but at the same time he might struggle with admitting it fully to himself, and even if he has internally admitted it to some degree he might go back and forth on how much he's willing to explore or deeply consider it. It's very possible he has some level of shame about it--feeling he "shouldn't" be having these kinds of feelings about his best friend, especially with how vulnerable even just their friendship can be for him.

Post-separation, I could see him grappling with these feelings and trying to push them away, while still trying to preserve the "normal" friendship part of their relationship. After all, in Chimera Ant arc these intense feelings only made things more painful and difficult for him, and I'm sure he believes Gon doesn't reciprocate. I don't think Killua will succeed in getting rid of these feelings even if this is the case--hopefully eventually he'll be able to express them to Gon in some form.

So anyway, that's my half-analysis and half-headcanons on the matter. I go back and forth somewhat myself on how much awareness I think he has about it, but with how analytical and contemplative he is I do think it's something he would internally consider a lot, so it feels unlikely to me that he has no idea at all, especially post-Palm date. I'm curious what others think as well, as there isn't a clear-cut answer for this. Thanks for asking!

[castlebyersafterdark]

the pet name thing also opens up such interesting thoughts for me about kink or preference, because pet names often begin in childhood, so carrying those over into the bedroom as an adult is always... interesting lol

some also feel much more childhood-ish whereas others (like babe) can be almost anything and for anyone depending on accent, tone of voice, context etc. like babe could be a casual call to a spouse from another room. it could be a fun campy way to address friends. it can be sarcastic. it can be a way to coo over a child. i suppose all pet names have this objectiveness that only gets meaning applied in context. so interesting. personally for me someone would have to say 'angel' or 'sunshine' in a very very unique way ive never heard before to get me to stop hearing it as some kind of gangster who is about to rip me off/murder me hahahaha. like anyone who says 'sunshine' round here is usually catcalling me outside a gas station hahahah

i wanna list pet names and get your opinion vinny

pumpkin

cherub

sunshine

honey / honey bun

babe

baby

angel

sweetheart

sweetie

muffin

darling (different from darlin' lmao)

I really love pet names!! And nicknames and all the familiar little things that make up a friendship and/or relationship. I know what you mean with the childhood to adulthood transition with these names. Not everything needs to be part of a sexual connotation, either, but familiarity would have some bleed over. But you are so right - tone and situation and relationship influence it all.

Different uses have different meaning to different people, thus, before I get into my list - DISCLAIMER: if we disagree on one here because I'm downing it but it's special to you or I love one you (the collective you) hate, no shade! We all have different taste! These are just my opinions, Byler and personal. It's interesting to sometimes evaluate where your fictional ideas and personal experiences overlap or not. That's very human.

pumpkin - I only associate it with a parent to little kids which is fine but personally that's all I envision. cherub - I don't know a situation or setting I've really seen this one?? I don't think I'm into it. It feels a little too silly. sunshine - OK. 😌 This one, I actually could envision Mike using for Will, like in a really sweet way (not Will to Mike because Mike? Sunshine? It would sound sarcastic haha) BUT! While the vision is there - I will personally never HC it or use it causally in a fic. It would feel odd since this is what 💙 so often calls me? So, it's too personal. I really adore it though. It's so soft. Ahh. honey / honey bun - Honey bun is goofy and I think of Pulp Fiction, but I see for Will, more so using hon instead of the full honey. It's a common one to call out to your partner in that from the other room kinda way, or in a casual conversation, asking a question. I use this one, too! babe - Will -> Mike. He wouldn't really use it in a sexy way, but it's casually used pretty commonly. Me? I personally never really call 💙 this in a romantic way because as we've seen here on this blog, everyone is babe or babes hahaha. Use it irl alllll the time. I think it was a pointed choice I made at one point, a tone shift away from trying to "bro out" and use certain language, which was one of those masking things types of things that happen. I'm flirty, I'm kind of silly. Babes feels like me ☺️ baby - Mike -> Will. His faaaaavorite. Will is baby, yes he is, that's his baby. All aspects of daily life. Loves calling Will baby. Casual use for sure, but oh you change the tone in the bedroom and it makes Will melt. Especially when it's whined or moaned while Will is getting him off. angel - Spawned his whole conversation and my personal favorite for Mike -> Will. It's for those soft moments, like just waking up to say good morning when they're sleepy and tangled in bed. It's when Will needs cheering up and being reminded he's so loved, which he needs when he falls into his moods. But it's also when they're in bed together, Will is doing something and Mike wants him to give a little more, push Will a little further. Come on angel, that's it angel in the sweetest breathless voice. sweetheart - I think they'd both use this one on rare moments when the other is really upset about something. It's an uncommon little one off. Reassuring and sweet to dissipate tension and sadness. sweetie - Another one I mostly associate with parents and children. muffin - Can't take it seriously at all!! darling - Adore this for them. Both use it, but not a common one? It's situational. Being all sappy and flattering.

Other's not mentioned: You know they're dipping into fantasy stuff, like calling each other my prince and stuff like that because they are dorkssssss. I personally use doll a lot, I can see Mike using that one too. When Mike's being really flirty or needy he gets hit with kind of a sarcastic loverboy from Will, but he loves hearing despite it being a little tongue in cheek.

[riccissance]

Been thinking a lot about the brunch scene with Shauna, Jeff, and Jackie’s parents and what it can tell us about the characters. I may be misremembering, but I’m pretty sure Jackie’s dad stays pretty much silent the whole time. Jackie’s mom is clearly the decision-maker in the couple and it seems like he’s along for the ride. He grabs her hand to show solidarity in the offer to pay Callie’s tuition but is pretty irrelevant on his own.

I think that knowing this is Jackie’s main example of love growing up can contextualize a lot of her and Shauna’s dynamic. Jackie’s parents have shown her that love is one person submitting to another. It’s her dad going along with her mom’s decisions and blindly supporting everything she does. It’s her mom taking charge for both of them and not asking for his input. Jackie seems to act like her mom with Shauna and expect Shauna to act like her dad. Their relationship doesn’t even necessarily need to be interpreted as romantic, though I think it can be. Shauna is Jackie’s main person. She seems like the only person that Jackie has any real intimacy with throughout the show. So it makes sense that she’d try to mirror her parents’ relationship with her.

So when Shauna wants to make her own decisions or just disagrees with Jackie, Jackie interprets that as Shauna not loving her. If Shauna loved her, then she would agree no matter what. Of course, that’s not healthy and it makes Shauna feel stifled, but it’s all Jackie knows. And Jackie feels like any indication of Shauna’s independence means she loses her. So Jackie tries to cling harder to her, to control more, which only serves to push Shauna further away. 

And Shauna, the nonconfrontational child of divorce, can’t talk to Jackie about how she feels. Jackie has demonstrated that if Shauna is her own person, Jackie will leave. Shauna disagreed with Jackie’s idea to stay by the plane, and Jackie’s immediate response was to ignore her all day. She even pretended to buddy up to Mari to make Shauna jealous. So Shauna feels like Jackie sees her as replaceable. If she tries to be independent at all, she loses Jackie. And as much as Shauna is resentful of the position Jackie has put her in, she still loves Jackie and doesn’t want to lose her. 

I feel like the show does a good job of giving us enough context on each character to understand why they act the way they do. They make dumb decisions because they’re teenagers and can’t fully understand their own baggage. But at their heart, they’re both desperately trying to maintain their friendship. They lash out when they feel rejected. Jackie’s problem is with the interpretation of Shauna’s actions. She views any disagreement or deviation as rejection. Shauna’s issue is with communication. She thinks that openly admitting her frustrations would make Jackie leave her. 

Plus, the Taylors have made it clear that Jackie can’t just be good. She has to be the best, which means better than Shauna. So Shauna has to be the passive, lesser side kick while Jackie has to remain in control at all times and keep being the best. The funny thing is, they tell Shauna and Jeff how much better than them Jackie would be doing if she was alive, but if Jackie was there, they would probably be telling her she should be doing better. There is no ceiling to being the best so Jackie could never be enough while she was alive. 

I just think it’s very interesting that a pretty short scene with the Taylors can give us so much insight into Jackie as a character. We don’t see Shauna’s parents but their divorce is mentioned which makes it feel relevant. It makes sense that her parents splitting up would contribute to Shauna’s passivity and inability to communicate. Her parents admitted they were unhappy and her family was broken up. If Shauna just never admits she’s unhappy, nothing has to change. 

I really love how layered and morally grey all these characters are. And it’s just so devastating because these were manageable issues that got mixed up with teen angst before being thrown into a life-or-death situation. None of it needed to happen but these girls didn’t know any other way to be. 

[yee-your-last-haw]

Why I think beleg and turin being a canon couple is conjecture

1. The word "tryst" used

The more commonly know meaning of tryst is a secret meeting between lovers which does cause confusion when reading into their relationship but people ignore the second meaning of tryst either deliberately or out of ignorance.

The second meaning being "an appointed meeting or meeting place" which makes more sense. If the context was romantic it would make no sense why androg would be jealous.

2. Kissing beleg

We must first take in mind their relationship from start. Turin had seen beleg since childhood. He was closest to what turn can call an older brother or father figure who also later became his dearest friend. I saw the kiss at the time of death as purely platonic. Like a child kissing their parent/ or a brother kissing his dead brother

Even as friends it would make sense, turin is in extreme anguish he has just killed the only person he has been close to since childhood. Probably his mentor aswell. Hence he kisses his corpse as a last goodbye.

It baffles me that people view this as a sign that he was sexually and romantically attracted to beleg.

Some also argue that he gave his open mouth a kiss that is why it must be romantic in nature, as if a corpse is in any position to close it's mouth.

3. Tolkien's own view of friendship.

A common theme in all of Tolkien's work is extremely close and intense bond of friendship and brotherhood between men. This makes sense as he himself served in army during times of war. Soldiers develop intense and close friendships as they go through extremely traumatic times. Tolkien wrote these friendships based on actual bonds of friendship he had seen while in the army.

Even the friendship of Sam and frodo which is constantly under scrutiny was based on relationship between a Batman and the officer he was serving.

Carpenter’s Biography quotes Tolkien as saying, “My ‘Sam Gamgee’ is indeed a reflexion of the English soldier, of the privates and batmen I knew in the 1914 war, and recognized as so far superior to myself.” A batman, in military parlance, was a soldier who (as well as being required to fight) was tasked with looking after an officer’s kit, cooking, and cleaning. Tolkien’s phrasing in the letter sent to Minchin is different, and very interesting too: “My ‘Samwise’ is indeed (as you note) largely a reflexion of the English soldier—grafted on the village-boys of early days, the memory of the privates and my batmen that I knew in the 1914 War, and recognized as so far superior to myself"

As someone who had family members serve in army and have Batman as their servers I can attest to their incredible loyalty.

4. Projection from people.

Tolkien was a firm christian. Even though he had a student who wrote queer stories and read them I doubt he would include homosexuality in his works. He hated narnia for the way C.S lewis wrote allegory and christian allegory in this story.

His firm believes are clearly reflected in his stories.

All his elves are built upon the image of good christian. They can only marry (romantic involvement) the opposite sex (no homosexuality). They can't have sex outside of marriage. Their sexual desires fade away after having children.

By this default beleg is definitely straight and turin is as well ( as he fell in love with nienor and if he was bisexual over the course of his whole journey he would have fallen in love with a man since he had more companion who were male and it would make sense but he didn't and only fall in love with a women and got her pregnant.)

They reason why fans especially western fans feel so confused at the immense platonic love between his characters is because their society is hyper sexual. Any form of deep affection especially between same genders must be seen as sexual/romantic.

As someone that isn't from the west and has seen such deep relationships between the same-sex, no these characters aren't sexually repressed or secret lovers. They love each other very much, just platonically that is all.

Another kind of audience is one that projects their own views over the actual text. These have either read too gay themed stories or are gay themselves. I would say take your personal bias away and see these texts in light of what tolkiens mindset was.

Extra: same issue with fingon and maedhros who are also family. I have seen so many close friendships and extreme bonds of platonic love between cousins who have also saved each other from life threatening situations and have never thought wow they must be secret lovers 🤦

Note: one more point is to note that platonic love is of greater scale in professor Tolkien's work than romantic love in most scenarios. Also elves formed great platonic friendships.

*A point written by someone in reddit

"Elf-friend" status isn't something that an Elf can award to a favored mortal, and that all Elves somehow recognize once one Elf has conferred it. Being an "elf-friend" is a psychological and spiritual state that some mortals attain, and once they do all Elves (and creatures of similar spiritual discernment) are able to recognize it.

In fact, being an "elf-friend" is a sign that a given mortal is in tune with the way Arda was supposed to be from the beginning. The estrangement of Elves and mortals only came about because of the Marring of Arda by Melkor. Had that not happened, all mortals would have had the benefit of living with and conversing with Elves, who would have been their helpers and teachers. That would have left a clear mark upon them - longer life, clearer intelligence, deeper spiritual existence - just as it did upon those few mortals who got the opportunity despite the Marring

It seems friendships between mortals and elves are very spiritual in nature. And beleg does provide guidance and counsel to turin almost akin to a spiritual guide and friend/parental figure.

[theghostzonedictionary]

Phandom Dictionary

Disclaimer: None of these definitions are set in stone. People can interpret what these words mean any way they like. This is just so people in the DP fandom generally understand each other when using these terms.

If you know of a term used in DP fandom that is not on this list send in an ask with the word and its definition.

Ancients: A group of very old ghosts that took down the tyrant ghost king Pariah Dark. Some believe ghosts like Clockwork, Pandora, and Nocturne are Ancients but others think they are a separate unknown group of ghosts. (Ghosts may also use Ancients in the place of where one might say God, such as "Oh Ancients" instead of "Oh God.")

Blood Blossoms: A rose like flower that has bright red petals with black or dark purple stems and thorns. The flowers give off a haze that is horribly painful to ghosts but harmless to humans. Humans are even able to eat the flowers.

Bonds: Also called Core Bonds, these are the manifestation of a relationship between ghosts. "A link between the cores." They can range anywhere from friendship to romantic to even parental.

Child Ghosts: Ghosts that either died as children, or never born children. These ghosts can grow and mature into adult ghosts but can also remain children forever depending on the interpretation. However, it is generally accepted that Ghost Children need an adult to guide and protect them as a parent. (Other terms include Baby Ghost and Ghost Pup)

Core: The central organ of a ghost. Acts like the brain and heart. Is often located in the chest but can be anywhere else in the ghosts body.

Coreless: Ghosts that weren't able to properly form cores or who have cores so damaged it can only just keep the ghost together. These ghosts are essentially brain dead but can still move a sometimes talk.

Death Echo: The process of a ghost reexperiencing their death. Said to happen when a ghost is asked how they died.

Earth born: Ghosts that formed in the living realm from very strong emotions of many humans at the same time.

Ecto-Entities: Another term for ghosts. Used in more scientific or legal contexts.

Fading: The equivalent of death for a ghost. Can happen from a ghost loosing or not fulfilling their obsession, damage to their core, or other factors. Most assume the ghost simply stops existing after they fade.

Fraid: A group of ghosts, typically all family and close friends.

Fright: Usually means the same thing as Fraid, but some differentiate with Fright including close friends while Fraid is just family.

Ghost Speak: Also called the Language of the Dead. It is a language that only ghosts can speak and understand. Often said to come from the ghost’s core rather than actually spoken. Some depictions are animalistic nonsense while others have it as terrifying incomprehensible sounds, and others say it’s completely inaudible to humans.

Halfa: A being who is equally living and dead. They have both a living body and an ectoplasmic form, and the ability to switch between forms at will. (Also called Gateway Ghost, Bridge Spirit, Earthly Spirit or simply Half ghosts since some people consider Halfa to be a derogatory term.)

Haunt: A place in the living world that a ghost has claimed as theirs to exist and defend.

Infinite Realms: Another name for the Ghost Zone. Sometimes considered the proper name since it was said by a ghost while Ghost Zone is used mostly by humans.

Lair: A ghost's home in the Ghost Zone. Usually a floating island or building, or a pocket dimension behind a floating door, but can also be smaller parts of other more powerful ghost's lair's.

Limbo ghosts: The ghosts of people who've died.

Liminal: A living being that has been exposed to enough ectoplasm to gain ghostly traits and possible powers. Half ghosts are a type of liminal but not all liminals are half ghosts. (Also called Death Touched.)

Mirror born: A ghost word for clone.

Never born: Ghosts that were never alive and formed in the Ghost Zone.

Obsession: (Called Purpose in AGIT) Something a ghost fixates on. How much an obsession affects a ghost's behavior can range from a compulsion to a special interest.

Overshadowing: A ghost phasing into a living person's body and controlling it. The person the body belongs to is unaware of what is going on while the ghost is doing the overshadowing. (Some use it interchangeably with Possession while others make a distinction between the two.)

Possession: When differentiated from Overshadowing, is usually seen as a darker more sinister version, although it varies.

Shades: A catch all term for weak ghosts that are either hard to see or completely undetectable by baseline humans. Often either ghosts that don't have enough ectoplasm to manifest a visible form or ectoplasm that created a form around strong emotions. The second kind usually more animistic than other ghosts and sometimes need to feed on emotion to keep their existence.

Shadow born: Similar to Mirror born but with a more sinister implication to it.

Still Warm: Referring to a ghost as young or recently dead. Their body is still warm.

Walk In: A ghost possessing a recently dead body after the original soul/consciousness has left.

[moondragon618]

I'm just gonna say this bc it's been bothering me a little: I am begging ppl to understand that stuff like obsessiveness, possessive behavior, and stockholm syndrome are not inherently romantic and/or sexual in nature. All of these things can exist in abusive platonic/familial relationships without any kind of sexual abuse happening at any point and it's not even that uncommon- it's just that abusive friendships are often completely overlooked and not taken seriously, and familial relationships have the added layer of a lot of that just being normalized in that context (like for example: parents who treat their children as their property and want to control every aspect of their child's life and how that's just socially accepted in many cases).

And also you are not protecting anyone or ""holding anyone accountable"" by harassing ppl over this (or literally anything else for that matter) that literally does nothing except potentially trigger someone and possibly even put them in a situation where they could seriously hurt themself or worse while you get to feel all righteous about yourself. Fuck off.

[cmrosens]

Release Date News!

Release Date News: THE DAY WE ATE GRANDAD has a date!!

14 April 2023 ~ eBook and Paperback

20 April 2023 ~ audio version serialised on my podcast #EldritchGirl!

Video transcript and eARC request form is in this blog post: https://cmrosens.com/2023/03/17/release-date-the-day-we-ate-grandad-14-april-2023/

Massive thanks to:

Cover Designer ~ Rebecca F. Kenney

Illustrator ~ Thomas Brown

Editor ~ Johannes Newman-Gillheim (main editor) and C. J. Subko (early developmental edits)

Formatter ~ Ezra Arndt @arndtezra

Composer ~ Gemma Dyer

Absolutely can't wait to share this one with you all.

Content Notes:

Addiction and sobriety (drugs, but also literal addiction to a romantic partner)

ADHD symptoms that aren't diagnosed or acknowledged, characters themselves are unaware they exhibit them and blame themselves/other things for memory processing issues, hyperactivity, lack of impulse control, lack of focus, self-medication, etc.

Animal death (a sheep for entrail reading purposes)

Apocalypse threat - eldritch god destruction, but also destructive behaviour from insidious addiction to an image

Arson and on-page fire (I know some people really don't like this)

Bereavement in complicated circumstances and varied - often messy/destructive - responses to grief; on-page memorial service

Binges and their aftermaths, a minor (17F) having to handle some of this and being placed in a carer/parental role

Body Horror

Body dysmorphia & complex feelings around one's own body, which can be read as similar to dysphoria

Child neglect (historic) and mention of child sacrifice in cult context - no on-page depiction of this, and no minors feature in the book apart from the 17yo MC (the only minor MC, all other MCs are adults)

Cult - family members being indoctrinated, joining out of trauma, and insider POV

Depression (severe)

Disordered eating in men that has gone unrecognised by others

Dubious Consent (m/m)

Emesis

Erectile dysfunction

Friendship issues, loss and arguments

Gore (Graphic)

Inbred family of sibling & cousin pairings, family culture of inbreeding is prized over 'outbreeding' but also joked about by family members

Murder of close relatives by MCs

Parasites, parasitical imagery, worm/maggot infestations in living flesh, graphic descriptions of wounds that may trigger Entomophobia or acarophobia, parasitic dermatophobia, or parasitophobia

Relationship issues and complicated dynamics

Self-harm and suicide ideation; suicide in cult context as 'sacrifice'

Self-mutilation for various reasons, to varying degrees: under the influence of addiction, and in cult context, and in ritual context.

Sibling deaths and sibling estrangement; complicated sibling relationships; younger sibling caring for older sibling and vice versa.

Trypophobia (descriptions that may trigger this)

[creepfactors]

I always enjoy your Doraemon posts! How about: something you really like about Doraemon?

Thank you very much!

I'd love to talk about something I really like about this series! I feel there's plenty, but I'll just talk about two things I think are underrated under the cut:

First things first, one of my favorite things about the series has always been Suneo's relationship with his mom. I always loved that he's like a lil mini her, and that they are close.

I love to see a parent and child be close and get along in any type of series, found family or actual blood relatives. It's just very sweet to see and it makes me happy!

There's an episode I recall where they were searching for his mom's favorite piece of clothing and it turned out to be a shirt Suneo made for her:

There's also a more recentish episode where Mrs. Honekawa allows Suneo to wear and share clothes from her own closet, and is overall supportive of his fashion designer dreams.

There's plenty I think that can be pointed to, endless list of examples, but overall they are my favorite family duo of the series.

Otherwise my other favorite thing is the Suneo, Shizuka and Gian friendship. It's strange and you wonder sometimes if Shizuka's so nice, why does she hang out with these two so much? I could go into headcanons or wishes for the series, but instead I'll say I just think what they have going on is sweet.

It's in the fact that, as it goes for the most part, there's a lack of any romantic interest between her and those two. Sometimes there's an occasional moment with Suneo, but it doesn't really ever feel like he's legit pursuing her. No predestined romance, or nonsense unlike with someone else.

I like how she laughs along with them often, that they all seem close enough that Suneo always invites them out with him. Presumably a popular enough kid, and perceived as very kind hanging out with two little menaces to society.

One of my favorite bits, an overall small moment, is in 'I Don't Like Shizuka-Chan Being Like This':

Context: This Shizuka is a fake, a copy robot, and overall causing problems for Doraemon and Nobita. I just love this bit because on seeing Shizuka fall down, and Nobita being the one to cause that to happen, they rush over FURIOUS with him.

I think it's sweet that they are immediately on the attack if someone is being mean to her, even if that assumption in this case would be false.

There's more in the series but I wanna point out Little Star Wars is amazing for the fact it's got Shizuka and Suneo as a duo. Also they get to blow up people together, now that's a bonding activity.

I love Gian and Suneo as a duo as is, but it is very refreshing to see them be apart.

[loveless-scribes]

✨🛒👀🥺🤩🎉🌞🎢

Oh, wow! That's a bunch! Thanks so much for sending the ask, let's dive right in! <3 ✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉 This is hard, especially right now because I'm really struggling with my writing. My ideas aren't clear and I feel like they don't line up with one another or that the tone shifts abruptly because the way I'm feeling has changed between one writing session and the next. I guess I hope that my writing makes people FEEL things. That's my main goal most of the time. And I think I'm pretty good at surprising people, too. So, to put that in compliment form I think I'm alright at conveying emotions and I have a knack for those plot twists. XD 🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc. I feel like I'm always writing about death even when I'm not planning to, it just kind of works its way back in there. Also, I guess another common theme would be the deep connections that people can form with one another, against all odds, against their better judgement, and sometimes even to their own detriment. I guess that's a hopeful theme in a way, people staying even when you're sure they'll walk away. Also, my protagonist needs to be a little messed up in the head. Anything else is hard and boring to write. I love writing crazy people and then humanizing them to the reader. 👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please! Barring AM spoilers, and the Sukuna fic I teased about on my alt, I want to write a short story about a world where voluntary self-elimination is both legal and readily accessible. The idea's been floating around in my head for a while - what that would look like, what the logistics around it would be, how friends and family would react, the inevitable desensitization towards death. I do hope to get that one down sometime soon because I'm really inspired to write it. 🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels? I think I hinted at this already, but I love it when one character is sure the other is going to leave them, but they don't. Not even necessarily in a romantic sense. It could be a friendship, or a parent-child relationship or what have you. Just that feeling of, "I've gone too far, it's over" but it's not, because that person would never leave. Staying by each other's side whether or not they understand the full context. Not even necessarily needing the context to know that they're on your side. I guess that's why it's a recurring theme in LS's relationship.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write? This used to be an easy "Levi, hands down - all day, every day." But lately, Slayte has become my favorite. Especially with her current struggles in the story, I just have a soft spot for her and the stuff she has to go through, I guess. She's also the character that most meets my "crazy protag" criteria, so there's that. 🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success? When people tell me I made them cry. It sounds mean, but there's no better feeling. That's when my inner critic has no choice but to shut up because OMG THEY SHED REAL TEARS. (I've defo cried, too, while writing AM so no worries.) 🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write? When everyone is either asleep or out of the house. Early mornings are the best, but work always gets in the way. I would be better able to answer this question if I wasn't so tired all the time. ^^

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride? I think it's the Sukuna darkfic duology on my alt @azureashes. It's just so crazy and out there. Idk if I would consider AM a "wild ride" since it definitely has its wholesome and comforting moments. I actually think hurt/comfort is a huge theme in AM. Maybe we should add it to the tags. Thanks for the ask, Anon! <3

[legionofpotatoes]

Hi Legion! Long time lurker and lover of your art and tags here. I always read your tags and I'm really interested in your thoughts & views on love and relationships, so I'm curious to know where you got those ideas from. Are there any videos, terms, or books you could recommend? It really resonated with me and since I'm a huge nerd my first instinct is to find more sources haha. Thank you so much!

This ask genuinely made me sit with myself and think long and hard about how my views on that stuff really formed, something I maybe took for granted a lil bit. So thanks, and I'm sorry that I can't give a nerdy answer here! It is difficult to point to specific sources, it's more of a lived-experience type thing. It truly is The Question Of All Time lmao. And boy did it get me thinking back.

I'll put my ramble under the cut if this is not interesting or what you're after, but I enjoyed the introspection still! Thank you!

My context is entirely unremarkable (middle class cishet white guy from eastern europe), but if I had to point to one thing that is the bottleneck of my views on love and relationships, I genuinely think it could be traced to my insane early childhood nat20 roll to avoid toxic masculinity pipelines. I truly believe in my bones that if I had been seduced by that stuff - and legitimately all but maybe two of my childhood friends were - I'd be a completely different, colder, worse person today. I credit only luck in that.

Where I'm from, boys of my generation were set on a very specific path very early on that was pointed veeeery far away from "love". All wrapped up in warped orthodox christianity and crypto-nationalist sentiments, stemming from our incredibly disillusioned post-soviet parent figures constantly running in survival mode. So like, I legitimately don't remember how I managed to avoid those circles and behavior patterns, and the truth is that I probably sometimes didn't? I certainly made stupid mistakes in my early teens, but I had the luxury of making them outside of the public eye of social media. More luck.

There's other alchemy of course - as a child of divorce I got a real early up-close look at the ugly results of mistrust and toxic "love", and a lot of my life back then was rebelling against that. Not that the parenting itself was always bad - my mother turned me to the arts and to stories, which eventually led me to fandom that I can now identify as a much healthier outlet for my frustrations than whatever my peers were doing with their nighttime brawls. It led me to a very crystallized idea of what I really wanted from life - not glory or patriotism or ambition, but a quiet life with the ones I loved.

That is also around the time when I let go of teenage lust as my north star and started fostering friendships instead; because like, relationships are bonds and connections, nothing more or less. Sexuality and romantic love can take as big or as small of a role in that as the parties desire, and they're entirely ornamental to the value of linking your experience with another living, breathing human. Realizing the divinity and beauty in that changes almost everything in an instant. And it is such a goofy-ass thing to say, but yeah, for a lost idiot dude like me, fandom helped me see that. Even the raunchiest fics were ultimately about belonging and emotional nakedness, and I learned to desire that more than anything else. I am trying so hard to point to something specific here, but I honestly don't know with way back then. Bioware's found family-ass games/fanfics were a big one later on, but there were so many other communities before. My memory's just bad.

But knowing I wanted love was one thing, and being a healthier, more empathetic person ready to actually get that was a whole other trek. Made a few more dumb interpersonal mistakes. And then I met my current partner, now over twelve years ago, and realized there was a version of me reflected in her eyes that I could truly chase and grow into. This all sounds super melodramatic but it was more of a terrifying thought at the time, stoking self-doubt and real worry that I was leading her into a mistake. But of course that was all a symptom of terminal self-awareness. We were in our early 20s, mature enough not to play childish emotional games, and young enough to go on that growth journey together. More luck. Found that gentle peace I had yearned for with her., and I count my lucky stars to this day.

In short, everything about my understanding of love and relationships is rooted in personal circumstance + massive amounts of luck, and especially that early course-correction away from toxic dudeness. Nothing extracurricular. And then just more and more luck piled on with time, culminating with my lovely bean. So in that sense I'm the worst person to ask this question! And times have really changed irt internet culture and fandom so I can't even point at that part as an action point either.

But if nothing else, I believe that storytelling is the ultimate shortcut in getting our dumb teenage brains over the precipice of pride and control, and towards the gentle pursuit of love in all its forms. I think that's worth articulating over and over again. Thanks for reading this long and I promise I usually interpret asks like a normal person! This is an exception!!! a big question if there ever was one

[prebeat]

✿ (Drowsy)

PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME. bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /[your muse] is the good influence  /[your muse] is the bad influence  /[my muse] is the good influence  /[my muse] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /[your muse is mines] childhood crush  /[my muse is yours] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [from your muses side]/  unrequited [from my muses side]/  unrequited [from both sides]/  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]/  soulmates  [ literal ]/  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [on your muse]/  cheating [with your muse]/  other 

FAMILIAL.     siblings [half]/  siblings [step]/[my muse] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /[my muse] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /[my muse] is a parental figure to yours  /[my muse] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /[your muse] is taken under mines wing  /[my muse] is taken under yours wing  /  other

ANTAGONISTIC.     dangerous to each other  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other 

i'm stealing your "they were exes and charles' inability to be intimate had them breaking up" joke and making it a thing. i'm going to one-up it by saying that it was a forbidden, secret relationship kind of thing-- with maybe some childhood friendship having led up to it? drowsy would've been charles' first serious relationship and all.

i like the idea of, since their families are both societies, that they went to the same basic education together. and even if da sun and sleepy chan were bitter rivals, their sons going to the same school had them becoming friends despite it all.

in the present charles doesn't necessarily hate drowsy or anything. they're just "rivals" the same way kakashi and obito were rivals, and duty to his society requires him to be antagonistic towards him. but it's really not more than professional antagonism.

aaaaalso, i bolded toxic love because charles can't have any healthy relationships atm. drowsy's welcome to try and fix him though! he might actually have enough context to do it. LOL.

[yomiurinikei]

hibiki for the ask meme (annie)

I TYPED ALL THIS UP FOREVER AGO THEN. never uploaded it. it’s just been in my drafts.

cw for mentions of the god awful ship (not /pos and it’s not brought up by name) + brief mentions of her canon trauma and my desire for it to be handled differently (not in depth/explicit)

everything after this read more was written forever ago i don’t even really recall what’s there i just skimmed it for cws

hi annie!!!!! we have the same brain huh (both asked for biki..)

my identity hc for them

just a little girl. uhhhh ya okay. obligatory 'this is an au where things were. not good but Better' disclaimer, im gonna handle this whole post under the context of. i do what i want and what i want is for hibiki to be okay. she's still a system just because of abuse at the hands of her parents which was exacerbated by kanade being toxic. not uh. yeah.

aaaanyways. she's very nonbinary to me!!! i think she likes like.. all the labels. nonbinary trans genderqueer and one hundred million thousand microlabels. she prolly rbs a ton of incoherent "i am like if a bead rolled underneath a industrial refrigerator before eventually being sucked up into a vacuum, slipped out of the garbage onto the ground where it slowly sunk into the earth was a girl but also not a girl" posts.

also i think she's questioning her sexuality/how she experiences attraction but she like. loves loves having qpps. to her its like... a great sign of friendship but also she wants to signify that shes very close with a lot of people. its a high honor but not a rare one to receive. her relationship with it is just like. i have someone who is very dear to me but without any sort of romantic or familial connotations how lovely and cool this is, how happy it makes me <3. she's just chilling!!!

Thoughts on their home life/family

ooogh. okay. actually i never included this in the ask meme. mm,,, how do i want to handle this. hm. i thiiink.. hibiki and kanade deserve some time to be estranged from each other. obvi this is again, within how i choose to write them. so i dont think this will be a relatable take. buuuut yeah. sometimes the best thing for siblings is to not be siblings for a bit. if anyone asks they just share a last name but have no relation. i think that would be good

i have a very normal relationship with my siblings (<- only child who used to be a younger sibling. that is what i am choosing.)

How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

mmmm,, she is so so so fucking system and i really wish she belonged to anyone but linuj. do u guys remember when i said hm maybe the otono twins were abused by their parents and thats why kanade took control of the situation by hurting the one person she could who would always have to be around her? and then a few months later linuj was like oh kanade is just born evil shes inherently bad because i think thats fun and cool^^ ? i remember. i remember very well.

i think,, hibiki was just ultimately underused. and like. it sucks and was bullshit what happened but also i Understand it within what it did narratively. even if i think linuj kinda dicked up the way it couldve affected the tone of the game. buuut. really the largest disservice that happened was like. the way she ultimately had no agency. according to linuj, no matter what, kanade would be Like That, and hibiki would get hurt, and the end. im not saying what happened to her was her fault, thats not what i mean when i say she has no agency, i mean. there was no in universe reason for what happened, not at the end of the day. she was doomed from conception in and out of universe and it just sucks and makes her feel flat because u cant even go what if not without completely ignoring the way linuj writes a wholeass character. hoping that all makes sense?

buuut yeah. tldr. she couldve been vv well written and handled well, even with her ultimate fate staying the same. but by admitting there's absolutely no way hibiki could have made it out okay, not even a "well, the cards would never line up like this, but if x had happened, and then y, then kanade would've fucked off", but making it that no matter what, kanade is gonna do what she did. it just kinda leaves a bad taste about things

The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

she actually is a person who exists outside of what kanade did <3. yes she has that puppet state sure whatever but also she's part of a system and has alters and one of them is "puppet state" but the others have hopes and desires and likes and etc etc.

My number one favorite ship for them

going off earlier, just assume all these ships are qpps <3! her and setsuka have a really fun relationship. cop out answer but ya know

…Now everyone else i ship with them

i like sora and hibiki!

The thing i will NEVER ship

ignoring the Obvi. i can’t think of anyone? again using ships here to mean like. hibiki having bestie-isms, i think she’s p shippable. she’s fun and friend shaped!

a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

uhhh i agree w/you she and nikei would be silly. they deserve to be character who is like :D but is then like D:< together.

thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

hair so pretty eyes so pretty. kinda weird colors

A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

dreamin chuchu always makes me think of her i cannot explain why

[one-abuse-survivor]

i feel kinda shitty rn because i was almost convinced my dad had. like. stopped? being an abusive asshole to me? i told myself that he did it because he was so stressed and upset bc of stuff happening and that now it was over even though i know he goes through stages where he seems fine and then abruptly turns into an asshole. i was telling myself it was over and it was going to be weird that i had a period in my life where my dad abused me but now it was over and i could just lowkey hate him for it but it was over.

but then, of course, because i'm a dumbass, the other day, my dad started making fun of me for literally being a cripple? (i am crippled, to be clear, he was just making fun of me for how i walk and being slow and using a cane and how it makes him have to wait for me to get out of the way, which inconveniences him or whatever.) and i was feeling so bad that day that i got pissed at him and then i got in trouble for telling him that making fun of my disabilities isn't okay. (because that's petty somehow ._. )

and now he's avoiding me bc he knows he was an asshole and didn't apologize and he doesn't want to do that. and im just so done. like. i used to think i couldn't call him abusive bc we were all in such a stressful situation and he was just dealing with it like a dickhead but we're out of it now, almost 2 years, and he's still on/off treating me like shit, avoiding me so he doesn't have to apologize, and then trying to come back and chat like nothing happened. i feel like im going insane or maybe im just stupid for letting him do this to me. im just barely an adult but still an adult, i should know what to do in this situation right? but my family just says 'forgive him' and i don't know what else to do when im stuck living with him. :/

Hi there, nonnie.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. You were starting to feel that you were safe around him and he turned around and abused you again. That's awful beyond words, and sounds so scary and confusing. I don't think you're a dumbass for believing the abuse was over. I think downplaying what happened and believing it wouldn't happen again might have been a coping mechanism/survival strategy, because you can't exactly process his abuse while still living with him, so your mind might have resorted to just hoping for the best so you could keep going.

Good job standing up for yourself when he made those ableist comments! And I'm sorry he didn't budge and painted you as petty for that. Any good parent would be proud of their kids when they stand up for themselves, even against their own parents when they say something insensitive.

You're not stupid for struggling, nonnie. Being an adult doesn't automatically mean you should know how to handle being abused. For one, the abuse-victim relationship has been established between you since you were a minor. That's not a dynamic you can just snap out of. Even as adults, victims of child and teen abuse can very easily fall back into that dynamic, even if it's been years or decades since they got out. In my case, whenever I run into my mother, I still fall back into survival mode, and I'm in my mid-twenties. And, until I was able to move out of her house at 20, I kept living in survival mode constantly in her house. Being 19 wasn't any different than being 16 when it came to living in that house. I was exactly the same amount of traumatised and helpless until the moment that I left.

And, moreover, there are many adults who become victims of abuse in adulthood, for example within the context of romantic relationships, workplace relationships, or friendships. Being an abuse victim isn't a minor-only thing. Sure, it's not the exact same experience, but adults are definitely not immune to abuse. So, no, nonnie, you shouldn't know what to do in this situation. The vast majority of people of all ages wouldn't know how to escape from an abusive relationship if they found themselves in one.

It's horrible that your family isn't supporting you and is telling you to forgive him. They're basically telling you you don't deserve boundaries, respect, or reparations when you're hurt, and you should just let others mistreat you without complaining. They're condoning and facilitating his abuse of you when they should be supporting you and confronting him instead. That's incredibly unfair, and you deserve so much better than that.

Sending a virtual hug ❤️