#in terms of timeline there is...no timeline

[rebellum]

Started off the year with starting HRT

Got to use a calendar all year that I really loved, every month had an archeological illustration from PBS Eons

Got to see my long distance boyfriend for the first and second time (went REALLY well!!!

Also reached a major milestone with my boyfriend that I'm not gonna talk about but thats very very important to me and a subcultural community I'm a part of

Got to meet up with internet best friends for the first time

Got to go on a month long trip with my friends, which included Disney world

Got adhd medication

Got to see a full solar eclipse (and the totality lasted for like a whole minute!)

Got to have a short term job for the first time

Got to have a real (not family hired) job for the first time, it didn't work out but I learned more about what I can/cant do

Applied to grad schools and have already heard back from some potential supervisors saying they'd be excited to work with me, including my #1 choice

Got to see my aunt (my mums best friend actually) for the first time since like 2001, and got to meet her daughter

Got accepted for welfare

For Christmas i got a new computer keyboard and its mechanical and feels SO NICE to type on and is so pretty

One of my favourite games that I've been playing for years got a major update that makes it infinitely playable now in one "timeline"

I feel like I've matured a lot this year and have grown much more confident and grown into myself

2024 was honestly the best year I've had in YEARS. Especially nice since 2022 was the third worst year of my life and was so bad.

hey honest question, did anybody have GOOD stuff happen to them in 2024? cause it was really bad for me and for most people i know, so it would be nice to hear about anything that's been going WELL for any of you. even if it's small stuff. just to know there's light out there.

[azzifuddsgirlfriend]

Ok I’ve never seen anyone with the same pazzi timeline as me so here it is lol also this is long asf and very detailed (yes I’m bored)

I think Paige prob had a crush on Azzi first, especially with her being a little bit older she might have already known she liked girls before meeting Azzi. I think Paige was probably azzi’s “gay awakening” if you will lol. But I think Paige might have even seen Azzi/thought she was cute before they officially met given how interconnected the basketball world is plus there was something on here about them having an overlap in Atlanta I think about a year before they officially met. But I think they became more than friends sooner than most people seem to think. I think they became more than friends (talking/fwb/situationship) whatever you want to call it, like almost immediately after meeting. Paige seemed to really be glued to Azzi during team USA era. So I think they became “more than just friends” in like 2017/early 2018. But especially being so young (Azzi would have been like 14/15 and Paige 15/16) and being long distance, and basketball being your #1 priority, AND coming to terms with your sexuality so young and with another person can make things complicated. But I believe they were only talking to/seeing each other all throughout high school. If someone tries to mention vinnie hacker to me, my answer is I just think Paige was trolling tbh 😭. But she obviously wasn’t out to the public yet in hs, and still isn’t technically but I mean it’s obvious lol, bc of her saying a guy as her celebrity crush in an interview I think her senior year. But I mean most of her family and close friends prob knew ab her and Azzi in hs given how close p & a were and how often they saw each other, while living states away. But yeah I’d say around 2020ish it became more serious, especially quarantining together they kinda got to play gfs/house together. I’m not quite sure if they were officially gfs at this time or just non official gfs, but I mean I’ve never named someone I’m just talking to or just fwb with as “💗” or called them my other half if we weren’t dating so… I think even when Paige first got to college they were just seeing each other bc of Azzi commenting how she missed Paige or something on tik tok and how she wanted to see her. Plus with Paige recruiting Azzi so hard I don’t think she would do that if they had “broken up” lol. But I guess sometime Paige’s freshman year she might have talked to other people. I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened or if it didn’t happen tbh. I’ve never seen solid proof of her talking with anyone else and I feel like if someone was talking to someone so famous we would all know about it lol. What I’m trying to say is she might have talked to other ppl but wasn’t really in a “talking stage”/in a relationship with anyone else ever. Also they both pretty much liked all of each others Instagram pics through hs and college so I don’t think they ever had a big fight/argument/falling out/breakup or whatever you want to call it. But yeah from my personal experience being so young and seeing a girl can kinda be confusing as to how that dynamic works (ex: who asks who out? How does it become official? Should we even tell anyone?) so it was probably just a kinda known thing that they were together in hs/early college years without the official label. But they both might have seen/talked to other people in like 2020/2021 but I don’t think they ever stopped seeing each other. Also I honestly would not be surprised if either of them have never really talked to/seen other people either so idk. But I think around mid 2022 (so like Azzi going into her sophomore year and Paige her junior year) they became officially girlfriends. This being because of how they interacted/posted with each other. Like the pic in Paige’s photo dump on tik tok of the old man with the flowers and her saying “how I’m trynna be” was crazy lol. So yeah and obviously the longer they date the more serious and obvious it’s going to be for the public and this summer idk if they had a conversation about being more open or if it just happened naturally that way but it’s quite obvious that they are together and have been for awhile.

[blueskittlesart]

ok apologies for lurking but in 2022 (!!) you wrote an answer to a question about AOC and in it you wrote that in BOTW link does not choose zelda over his duty to the kingdom and in AOC he chooses her over his duty. iirc (I don't) the calamity stuff in botw is only through diary entries etc....... how do we know that in botw he doesn't choose zelda (genuine question my botw copy is not with me rn :( )

ok i don't remember saying that exactly, but what i DO remember saying and what i'd continue to argue today is that AOC link made the choice to favor zelda over his duty much EARLIER than botw link, and that is the reason he was able to subvert his fate and remain alive to defeat the calamity in his own time. before the calamity hits and the time-travel fuckery really starts in aoc, it's implied that what we're witnessing is near 1-to-1 with the events that happen pre-calamity in botw, with a few key differences. The major difference is, of course, the existence of terrako, which sort of has a butterfly effect. Most importantly, terrako's initial interest in Link has him and zelda interacting much more closely much earlier on in the story. at the time that link and zelda meet and interact in AOC, link is a simple hylian soldier. he has either no rank or a very low rank, he's taking orders from captains and engaging in battle on basically the same level as every other solider. the first battle in the game is implied to be one of the first times he really grabs his superiors' attention with his skills in combat, specifically by taking down those moblins basically on his own. because he is the first one to run across terrako, he and zelda are given a reason to interact before either of them know what is in store for them, so their relationship has a foundation that is not built on the baggage and animosity that comes with that. In botw, in contrast, it's implied that the two of them never interacted without that baggage. what we know of their past is admittedly scarce, and most of it comes from zelda's diary. the first page reads:

After meeting with the Champions, I left to research the ancient technology, but nothing of note came of my research. The return of Ganon looms—a dark force taunting us from afar. I must learn all I can about the relics so we can stop him. If the fortune-teller's prophecy is to be believed, there isn't much time left… Ah, but turning over these thoughts in my head puts me ill at ease. I suppose I should turn in for the night. P.S. Tomorrow my father is assigning HIM as my appointed knight…

already this timeline is incongruous with what we see in AOC--in the botw timeline, link is not assigned to be zelda's knight until AFTER the champions have all been found, whereas in AOC, he accompanies her to meet with each one of them:

Lamenting the kingdom's plight, King Rhoam sent his daughter to gather pilots for the Divine Beasts. Alongside Link--whose brave conduct had earned him a role as her knight--Zelda would meet with the four candidates.

In later pages of her BOTW diary, zelda makes repeated reference to link as wielding the sword that seals the darkness, and in link's own memories he never interacts with her without it on his back. I'd wager that in the BOTW timeline, he is not appointed her knight until AFTER he has the sword. (this also accounts for the way she talks about him being appointed in her diary--she'd have no reason to be upset about it if she didn't already see him as being ahead of her in terms of prophecy progress.) This is important because this percieved slight on zelda's part colors every bit of their interactions in botw--they both percieve the other as standoffish and haughty, and thus it takes them an INCREDIBLY long time to actually communicate healthily with each other. In fact, the only time we REALLY see them communicate receptively with one another in botw is during the sanidin park memory, which is days if not hours before the calamity actually strikes. In AOC, in contrast, link and zelda behave much more like equals if not friends from the very beginning. Their interactions are of course still colored by their respective ranks, and Link is still obviously suffering from the communication issues that come with his mutism, but they very clearly have a better understanding of each other from the getgo because the foundation of their relationship was built before they knew the extent of their destinies in connection to one another.

All of this lays the foundation for the climax of their story thus far--the night of the calamity. we know how this goes in botw--Link and zelda, woefully underprepared and miles from hyrule castle, race desperately to the sanctum. it's implied that they get all the way to actually fighting calamity ganon, and only when they realize that they can't win does link take zelda's hand and run. By the time they get to fort hateno, link is ALREADY majorly wounded from their failed attempt to quell the calamity, so when he turns to face those guardians, both he and zelda know that there's no way he'll win. It's important to note that the guardians at fort hateno never actually hit link, zelda stops them in their tracks before they're able to fire, but he collapses anyway due to his previous wounds. he was already mortally wounded going into that battle, and no matter what zelda did at that point, he was always going to fall there.

In AOC, however, the story is different. the calamity comes while link and zelda are in the castle, and rather than attempting to fight it, link makes the decision to take zelda to safety immediately. Because of that choice, when we get to AOC link's "grave danger" moment with the reanimated blights, he is able to survive. the major story beats still play out the same way--confronted by an ambush of incredibly powerful enemies (this time the reanimated blights) which he likely cannot defeat on his own, link attempts to fight anyway to protect zelda, despite her protests. Zelda, terrified for link's life, reaches out to him and her power instinctively activates to save him. the difference is that, while aoc link likely couldn't have survived that fight without zelda's interference, he had no pre-existing wounds because he was not coming straight from another impossible fight. So in AOC, when zelda's power destroys the blights, link is unwounded and able to remain standing. there is no impossible decision to make regarding his life, and, crucially, he remains alive to seal calamity ganon in his current time now that zelda's power has finally awakened. None of this would have been possible had he not chosen to flee the castle during the initial strike instead of attempting to fight a losing battle anyway, and THAT is a decision he was unable to make in BOTW because, at the time of the initial strike, his fear of failure still outweighed his love for zelda.

[ronandhermy]

-- Milk Fed by Melissa Broder

[a-badbowlofsoup]

My point is that the Grand Scale Timeline can be a good thing in terms of the story, especially in terms of science fiction, since the central core of the genre is "what if?" Sure 40,000 years ago in human history we were throwing rocks and sticks at each other, but what about 40,000 years into the future?

Human history to date is a wondrously brief blip in geological history, sure, but what if we stuck around long enough for that history to be significant. To be long? As Doctor Who put it:

"You lot. You spend all your time thinking about dying. Like you're going to get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible, that maybe you survive. This the year five point five slash apple slash twenty six. Five billion years in your future. And this is the day -- hold on . . . this is the day the sun expands. Welcome to the end of the world." -The Doctor, Doctor Who, "The End of the World"

Besides, there's plenty of reasons to laugh at Warhammer besides the long time scale.

starting an elite paramilitary black ops group who sneak into the homes of authors and cut one to three zeroes off any number of years given in a fantasy or sci-fi novel

[questionablecuttlefish]

You recently said ur an encyclopedia of lightcannon. So I want to know what light cannon media is there, also just what lux media is there. New to the fandom and I just want all the canon lux stuff to get a solid grasp on what exists. also maybe a reading order/watch order.

Oh gosh. So this is the tricky thing with Lux, she's one of the oldest champions in League of Legends so she has a LOT of lore, but it's all scattered around.

She also has a TON of skins, she's one of the most popular champions for new skins to the point that it's almost a meme, so there are a LOT of Alternate Universe Luxes out there, and one of them (Star Guardian) is what popularized (but didn't actually start) the Lightcannon ship.

You can find a good chunk of her core Runeterra lore on her Universe page. I recommend all of the material written by Graham McNeill, including her bio and the "For Demacia" story. "Last Light" and "Flesh and Stone" are also excellent.

The "LUX" comic produced with Marvel, however, was where her story (and all of Demacia's) kicked up a notch, with the introduction of Sylas of Dregbourne, an imprisoned mage who teaches Lux how to control her power and introduces her to the truth about Demacia's brutal persecution of mages like both of them.

That said, even though Very Important Story Things happen in the Lux comic, there's a general consensus among Lux/lightcannon fans that the comic isn't very well written and mischaracterizes both Lux and Sylas pretty badly.

The Katarina comic retells some of the same events from the POV of infamous Noxian assassin, Katarina DuCoteau, and Lux does briefly appear in it, and her interaction with Katarina is pretty freaking great. So I recommend looking at this one, it's much better than the Lux one overall.

After that, the Riot Forge game studio (which has now been shuttered) produced a spinoff game starring Sylas called The Mageseeker.

This is actually a really rad little game that I recommend to anyone, especially anyone interested in Demacia lore or in any of the characters involved.

Lux is a prominent character, though she only appears pretty late into the story, and it follows up on the fallout from Lux and Sylas's friendship, the mage rebellion, and Sylas's betrayal of Lux in a way that is just really well done and IMO does justice to both characters.

(as well as making even more explicit than the Kat comic did that their relationship was only ever a platonic friendship/mentor relationship, but I digress)

It also leaves Lux in a really, REALLY interesting position in terms of her story and her role in Demacia, that I think has a lot of story meat, and that has factored into a lot of Lightcannon fics especially post Season Two.

It hasn't been officially explored from there, though. The next (and chronologically final) time we see Lux is in the "Warriors" promo video from Season 2020:

...where her truce with Sylas from the Mageseeker game doesn't seem to have lasted too long 😮

It's also probably the most baddass Lux we've seen depicted yet.

Legends of Runeterra, the spinoff card game, also does a couple of good Lux stories, including the recent "Lux Illuminated" where we see Lux dreaming (literally, she's in her dreams) of her idealized Demacia, where she's confident and powerful and adored for her magic instead of shunned.

...only for a creeping shadow to infiltrate her perfect world.

This is also where we get the only 'canon' interactions with Ezreal in the main timeline, maybe, and she's still shooting that poor boy down in flames 💔❤️‍🔥🔥even in her dreams. Ouch.

I'll talk about Lux AUs / skinlines in a different post if you wanna, because that's a whole other kettle of fish, but for Canon Lux, that's your main go to outside of her League/LoR voice lines.

Hope it helps give a picture!

[aristocratic-otter]

Thank you for tagging me, @monbons, @rimeswithpurple, @nausikaaa, @artsyunderstudy, @prettygoododds,

@ileadacharmedlife, @alexalexinii, @best--dress,  @j-nipper-95, @roomwithanopenfire, 

@you-remind-me-of-the-babe, and @whatevertheweather

It's been another lovely year of getting to know you all and making new friends in this amazing fandom.

Some 2024 stats from AO3:

Number of works posted: 11

Number of events participated in: 6

Number of works completed: 3

Number of words written: 156,000

Seems pretty decent, right? But compare that to 2023:

Number of works posted: 12

Number of events participated in: 7

Number of works completed: 10

Number of words written: 294,445

So, what the fuck happened that cut my productivity literally in half? (Though I worked on nearly the same amount of fics, lol. Methinks my ambition doth outstrip my ability.)

Well, that’s a story, and one that’s unfortunately too common, from what I’ve learned. If you don’t want to listen to me ramble, feel free to jump down to the monthly list, because this is going to be entirely self-indulgent. Story and Fic timeline under the cut:

Part 1: 

Sometime around the beginning of last year, I began suffering a series of muscle and joint injuries…or so I thought. I was diagnosed with so many things. Arthritis. Bursitis. Muscle Strain. I was given physical therapy. I stopped going to physical therapy when the simplest exercise my therapist gave me left me crying in pain. I was given muscle relaxants and pain meds. Nothing had any long term effect. All I knew was, my body was slowly giving up on me. 

It affected my job. I went from being a teacher who was constantly buzzing around the classroom, checking on students and giving assistance, to a teacher who seldom could manage to leave her chair. My students struggled and my classroom grew messier by the day, because I couldn’t check that the students were cleaning up, nor could I clean up after them myself. 

It affected my home life. By the time I’d get home from work, the pain and stiffness were always at a high. I’d end up rotting in a recliner all evening, every evening. My mind grew foggier, my concentration worse, and it started taking me three to four times the usual amount of time to simply prep my lesson for the next day. I had next to nothing left to spare for my family or my hobbies.

So writing? On a work night, I was lucky to write a paragraph. Real progress on my WIPs started only happening on weekends. 

Finally, near the beginning of last summer, I went to my doctor, desperate for something, anything. At that point, I was beginning to believe I’d have to take (very) early retirement and go on disability, because I couldn’t even walk around a grocery store, and I refused to have another year where I didn’t serve my students as they deserved to be served. 

I blurted out all of this to my doctor, and she frowned at me and asked me to describe where my pain was. 

Hips, spine, knees, ankles, elbows, I told her. 

Then she said the words that changed everything. “It sounds like you have Fibromyalgia.”

Part 2

Can you believe, educated as I am, especially in the sciences, I’d never heard of it? I’ve learned a lot since. Fibro mainly afflicts women, mainly affects people in their prime or slightly older. And, until recently, it was considered an unprovable disease, like chronic fatigue syndrome. There were no medical tests for it, and most victims were treated like they were imagining things. There were no medicines for it. No therapies. There was no explanation for the disparate cluster of symptoms associated with it.  As far as the medical profession was concerned, it didn’t exist. 

I’m lucky. Things started changing for Fibro patients just a few years before my diagnosis. Three years ago, two drugs were approved for it. There is now a diagnostic test for it. And there’s plenty of research outlining a causal pathway for the disease. 

Turns out, it’s a brain disease. The brain affects every part of the body, and in the case of fibro, it also affects how we perceive our bodies. Because that’s what happens in fibromyalgia: your brain misreads pain signals from the body. It’s like my pain sensitivities are always dialed up to eleven. Something that causes a twinge for a non-Fibro sufferer can cause a Fibro patient to scream in agony. 

When I went to a specialist, she told me I hit every single diagnostic criteria for Fibromyalgia. So, I got meds. I got referrals to a rheumatologist and physical therapy again. This time, the physical therapist was able to focus my work on things that were within my capabilities and were meant to improve my symptoms. My rheumatologist is testing out different meds and dosages on me to see what gets the most useful result. 

I still have Fibro. Maybe I always will, there’s disagreement on whether a cure is even possible. But the meds and therapy help manage the pain and reverse some of the brain fog. I’m able to circulate and help my students again, though I have to be cautious of overexertion, which can trigger a high-pain episode. I can interact with my family and actually do some chores and work in the evenings, though, again, I have to take it easy (I’m not good at taking it easy, it’s a learning curve). I’m writing more. Usually a page or more a night. 

My journey is hopefully back on track, and I hope to finish all of my current WIPs in the next year. But I figured that this is the one night a year that people use to reflect on the past and look forward to the future, so that’s what I’m doing. And maybe my story will help someone. If you’re struggling with any aspect of your health, I hope you find answers and help in 2025. 

Happy New Year!

My Year In Fic

January

Nothing new posted or finished. As I recall, I was mostly working on The Heart in the Well and Cupid's Shield.

February

Posted (republished after release in the Lady Ruth Charity Zine)

The Bother About Brownies (art by @hgari)

4845 Words, Rated T

Baz is tasked with creating a dessert for the triplets' school cake sale. Brownies are such an easy recipe. What could go wrong?

Lemon Blueberry Shortbread, art by @letraspal

2912 Words, Rated G

Two afternoons of learning to cook a family recipe, thirty years apart.

Posted as part of Erotic Gropefest (WIP)

Cupid’s Shield, WIP

Currently 10,122 words, Rated E

I used to think that Valentine’s Day was bollocks invented by greeting card companies.

That was before I started at Watford and learned that it was deadly serious.

March

Nothing posted (possibly some chapters of WIPs, there's no way to check). But I was definitely working on nearly all of my fics that are still WIPs and The Heart in the Well, which is finished.

April

First Posting of:

Stars, Flowers, and Children (WIP)

Currently 20,005 words, Rated E

To Simon, Baz is a stuck up brat he has to put up with in between his duties as Cabin boy on the SS Watford.

To Baz, Simon is the chavvy, illiterate savage of a boy who won't bow and scrape the way he's supposed to.

Marooned together because of a disaster at sea, they'll have to come together as allies in order to survive. But they're destined to become so much more than that.

May

More work on posting chapters of in-progress WIPs.

June

Finished final chapter of:

The Heart In The Well

14326 Words, Rated T

Carry On Reverse Bang 2023 Collaboration with @alexalexinii, 

Simon Snow should have known better than to chase after the Hobgoblin Horde. Now he's trapped at the bottom of a well with no food or water, and a vampire who's only going to get thirstier as time passes.

Baz Pitch doesn't know why the Hobgoblins abducted him from the Wavering wood. He just knows that Snow was stupid enough to get caught too, and now they're trapped together, and Baz hasn't had blood in three days...

July

First chapter posted of Carry On Big Bang Collaboration with @cutestkilla

The Rat and the River, (WIP)

Currently 10550 words, Rated E

Simon Snow is an epidemiologist working for the UKHSA He's a cocky field scientist who goes to hotspots all over the world, helping to track down the causes of the outbreaks and put an end to the cycle of death and disease.

Baz is a microbiologist, who, until now, has never left the UK. He works on Simon’s samples sent from overseas, but that’s the closest he gets to danger and excitement. He’s a reservist, meaning he’s available for deployment in the event of a large-scale event, but he’s never been called up.

Simon does his best to stir him up whenever he’s in town because he believes that Baz's life lacks excitement. One day, Simon is sent into action again, this time to South America. Down a microbiologist, Simon decides to pick Baz. In his mind, it’s to show him “the real world” but he really just wants a chance to work side by side with the reserved scientist.

Of course, in the rainforest tracking a disease of unknown origin and deadliness, that may just be spreading out of control, is maybe not the best place for a flirtation.

But when has Simon ever done things the easy way?

August

Most recent update of: 

Saving Simon Snow (WIP)

Currently 47,078 Words, Rated E

What if Simon had never gone to Baz's gothic manor over the Christmas holidays? What if the war between the old families and the Mage started while Simon confronted the Mage in the White Chapel?

The Mage is dead. The Humdrum defeated. The old families have control of Watford and the Coven. And nobody will tell Baz where Simon Snow is.

September

First month of school. Needless to say, nothing got done.

October

First Posting of

Tiktok Dancer (WIP)

Currently 11,133 words, Rated E

Snow has never known a world outside his father's realm in the ocean. Until he comes across a group of dancers performing on the beach, and finds a dream he'd never thought to have.

November

2024 Carry On Reverse Bang Entries. 

The Stoves Come On At Night, (WIP), collaboration with @ebbpettier:

Currently 4895 words, Rated M

Fresh out of a break-up, Simon is desperate for work. He takes on a caretaking job for the elderly Mordelia Grimm. It's a pretty slick gig: fully-stocked pantry, big beautiful house, nobody to bother him. Nobody around, for miles.

But at night, Simon swears that he hears footsteps in empty rooms.

He starts finding puddles of lake water, footprints, doors open when he knows he left them closed. At night, he hears the sound of wet, rattling breathing from his pitch-black doorway.

Most concerning of all, the stoves keep turning on at night, even if he switches them off and tapes down the dials.

There's something very wrong at Pitch Manor.

Baby Mine (WIP), collaboration with @argumentativeantitheticalg

Currently 3590 words, Rated M

Four years ago, Basilton Pitch teamed up with Simon Snow to solve the mystery of who murdered Baz's mother. Now, they'll need to join forces again, after an unexpected delivery is left on Baz's doorstep.

December

Most recent update of my 2023 fic for COTTA

The Snow Fox (WIP)

Currently 27,344 Words, Rated E

Simon "Snow" Salisbury is the most wanted patriot in the American Revolution. Wanted by the British army, who want to see him hanged. Wanted by the Tories, who'd shoot him on sight, given the chance.

And wanted by Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch.

I also participated in the Secret Snowflake Exchange on the Carry On Discord, but it looks like I'll be finishing that fic after midnight my time, so it'll end up being the first fic of 2025!

I'm probably the last to do this. But in case I'm not, here's tags for anyone on my tag list who didn't tag me, so anyone who wants to has a chance to do this.

@thewholelemon, @bookish-bogwitch, @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @bazzybelle, @dragoneggos,

@erzbethluna, @palimpsessed,  @frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @melodysmash,

@moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist,  @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean, @raenestee,

@tea-brigade, @upuntil6am, @whogaveyoupermission, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @krisrix,

@shemakesmeforget, @confused-bi-queer, @nightimedreamersghost, @mooncello, @shrekgogurt,

@cosmicalart,  @theearlgreymage, @Iamamythologicalcreature, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @facewithoutheart,

@martsonmars, @skeedelvee, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @messofthejess, @noblecorgi,

@hushed-chorus,  @blackberrysummerblog, @cutestkilla,@letraspal, @ic3-que3n,

@emeryhall, @larkral, @youarenevertooold

[velvetvexations]

Whenever I hear white trans people compare race to gender, especially for intracommunity drama, it feels very much of a gross misunderstanding of the former, to the point of almost irresponsibility? But holy shit, are there actually people who are seriously going to compare a term black people use for white people that harkens back to slavery to a term invented on fucking 4chan of all place by transphobes of all people, & defend the latter on the basis that the former exists? If this is an actual argument that’s gaining tracking, Jesus Christ fucking wept they cannot be surprised or indignant that people are calling them racist.

it's a bad, bad timeline we live in anon

[xx-riffraff-xx]

𓇼 ~ the sea swallowed him whole ~ 𓇼

premise; It's the anniversary of Lemuria's fall. Rafayel isn't handling it well.

warnings; suicidal ideation, kind of suicide attempt, heavy angst, hurt/some comfort, bittersweet ending, VERY sad, potentially OOC, timeline inaccuracies, drowning or hope of drowning, attempt at symbolism. neither you nor rafayel are harmed long-term or die.

a/n; once again, i have no idea where this monster came from. my brain told me "hurt fishboy." and i said "okay guess we're hurting fishboy now." might wanna prepare the tissues. hope you enjoy!

Rafayel is on the beach again. Lukewarm waves curl around his ankles, pulling the sand beneath his feet to drag him back to the depths of the sea. The saltwater soaked through his clothes up to his waist where he sits. The moon is drawing the tide in. His shirt is sticking awkwardly to his waist.

He can’t keep his thoughts away from the day Lemuria fell. How could he pick between you and his home? They were linked, connected, one could not exist without the other. In his hesitation to tear Mo apart, he lost both. The evacuation was swift, but not swift enough. Lives were lost. It is his fault. The waves washed away the blood on his hands, but he feels pieces of their souls stuck in his teeth.

Rafayel is on the beach again. The darkness hadn’t claimed many of his people, the response was quick enough. The people closest to him were able to swim away. Now, it’s his job to aid in protecting everyone on the mainland. He’s never wanted responsibility, always swam in the opposite direction as fast as the current could take him. Maybe he’s grown into it.

He’s so tired. It’s late. The sea has drawn him deeper, she demands justice. Heavy cotton hangs from his shoulders. Sand melts into glass underneath his fingers. Time-softened seashells bear his marks. He skips a smooth seashell sculpture across the water’s surface. The ripples bear the name of each Lemurian he couldn’t save.

The sea swallows him whole. Rip currents are common around this time. His body could be miles from shore before anyone could think to look for him. The sea will punish him as she wills. She is a caring, violent mother. Her children are no stranger to her wrath. She knows what he deserves.

Rafayel feels the current yank at his feet where he floats at the same time he feels warm hands pulling him from the water. The tide had taken many hours to swallow him, marked by the moon’s position above the horizon. The salt dampened the angry flame in his heart. Its absence feels like burning alive.

Gentle hands guide him out of the sea. A trail of pearls leads away from the shoreline. Soft towels dry his vessel. Slowly, he dresses in the dry clothes given to him. He is surrounded by warmth. It is too hot with the fire burning under his skin. Under the covers, his back is pressed to someone’s chest. The hours spent waiting for the sea to claim him feel like a dream.

“Rafayel?” Your shaky voice breaks the silence. He feels your worry like his own. He uses your name when he answers. “Why did I find you catatonic in the tides?”

“It was... a momentary lapse in judgement. Today is an anniversary.” He responds tonelessly. He does not intend to answer any more questions. After all, you don’t remember anything from all those years ago. If you did, the guilt would consume you, your compassion weaponized against you. He fears he’ll reach for your hand to find your skin grey and lifeless, the scavengers brought in by the tides feasting on your long-dead corpse.

You don’t ask any other questions. Unlike you. Instead, you take Rafayel back to the beach. The soft sand slips beneath your feet. Warmth from your hand spreads up his arm. Smells of brine and salt and Mo waft in on the sea breeze. The draw to the sea holds him hostage, trapped like Jonah in the mouth of the whale.

Your warmth fades as you roll up your pants. Without pausing, without hesitation, you wade into the tide. The waves wash up to your shins. The wind tussles your hair, humidity and salt frizzing it into curls. Rafayel’s throat closes, his lungs squeezed of all air. The sea is a caring, violent mother. The sea will take your heart after he could not.

He rushes into the waves after you. “What are you doing!?” He demands, pulling you out of the clawing reach of the currents that threaten to take you from him. You splash out of the ocean’s reach willingly.

Once out of the lapping water, you resist Rafayel. You draw his forehead to your own, holding his face in your hands. “I want to understand you.”

Something dark and ugly rears inside him. His shoulders curl to contain it. “Lemuria fell because I would not sacrifice you. The ocean demands its retribution.”

You fall together to the soft sand, clinging desperately to a fading reality where everything will be okay. “I don’t understand,” you whisper. A deep sigh burdens the space between you. Rafayel does not elaborate further. A soft, alluring hum starts in his chest. You know this melody. You hum along. Your voices mingle against the backdrop of the ocean’s waves.

Rafayel holds your hands in his own. Your bodies drift closer together until neither of you can define where he ends and you begin. Rafayel hums until he cannot anymore. His caring, violent mother will have to accept his voice over his body for retribution this year. The sun rises. The tides retreat in acceptance of Rafayel’s offer.

Rafayel holds you to his chest. You had fallen asleep at some point during his siren song. Your even breaths wear away his jagged edges.

It will be different, but it will be okay.

A little note on Rafayel's references to mo in this fic: I can't remember where I found it in canon, but I believe it means "home" or "motherland" in Lemurian! Hope you enjoyed!

[hell-is-not-an-excuse]

Oh, how I love this fandom /s

But in all seriousness, it speaks to some serious cognitive dissonance in that fanbase if there's a building hate train against a seventeen year old girl whose worst "crime" (and I use that term *very* lightly) was finally cutting off a parent who has consistently disappointed her and broken promise after promise to her.

I don't blame Octavia for leaving her father behind when their relationship beyond her years as Stolas' little owlet have been littered with showcases of his lack of care - His constant, casual disregard for her feelings to her face, the breaking of promises, the inevitable apology, and then the aftermath in which nothing improves, despite the narrative claiming otherwise. There's only so many times one can (and should have to) put up with a parent that disappoints them and picks their partner (or prospective partner, in this case) over them.

This was the *third time in less than a year* in the show's timeline where Stolas has aplogised for a major blunder in their relationship - The culmination of which being him running off to die for this situationship that he promised he wouldn't abandon her for. Not even a word to her. Not one regretful look. As far as the narrative paints it, Octavia didn't even know where her father had gone until she saw the footage of him quite literally on the chopping block.

I cannot stress enough how insane it is that portions of this fandom have beef with a seventeen year old girl who needs her father more than ever in the light of all these major life changes.

This is genuinely the most terminally online thing I’ve seen aside from that Chowder video of Sarcastic Chorus’

This is a 17 year old fictional character jesus christ

[ghost-pasta]

TUE timeline but instead of the plot we get in the show, "Dark Danny" is just a 24yo version of danny that smokes and drinks and hates everything. (understandable).

IDK how Vlad would develope as a dad in 10years but i know he's bad at it. Danny being this self destructive at 24 either means he's in direct contact with Vlad still and he's terrible or Vlad's honestly mellowed out but they're not on speaking terms. or someting..... idk.

mostly thinking about this because messed up adult danny who smokes beamed itself into my brain. leather jacket and mean and even if he grew up with a baby face they don't card him at the liquor store anymore because they see the light has left his eyes, etc. that type of deal.

idk how that version of TUE could be plot relevant though, except some kind of "finding yourself" journey for "current" Kid!Danny to go on but that would be fucked up. a younger version of you gets sent to you as a "what not to become" case and your literally just existing, maybe committing crimes, but mostly just there.

[01zfan]

01ZFAN WRAPPED 2024

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 365 days, 74 fics, and 497,800 words later we are already into the new year! after being tagged in a year end post and being swayed by the timeline i want to kind of do a little something like a year end review of me and some of the works i posted throughout the year. let's go on a little trip down memory lane! here is my masterlist for the works i'll be referencing and much more. BLURBZ ARE NOT INCLUDED simply because i don't really count those as full fledged works and there's not much to say about them.

MY MUSES

OSAKI SHOTARO

8 fics 60.2k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: MARRIED COUPLE/ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

OUTLIER: PRETTY GIRL DISCOUNT | HOOKUP/PLUG!SHOTARO

SONG EUNSEOK

18 fics 123.1k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: HOOKUP/ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS

OUTLIER: YOUR BIRTHDAY | ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

JUNG SUNGCHAN

18 fics 110.7k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

OUTLIER: NOT MINE | CHEATING/ANGST

PARK WONBIN

9 fics 61k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP/HOOKUP

OUTLIER: MOVIE | SECRET RELATIONSHIP/FLUFF

LEE SOHEE

9 fics 65.6k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: ANGST

OUTLIER: GOOD LUCK CHARM | FLUFF

LEE ANTON

12 fics 77.2k words

MOST COMMON TROPE: FRIENDS TO LOVERS

OUTLIER: SEE YOU AROUND PT. 2 | SOMETHING WITH BENEFITS/ANGST/BREAKUP

BONUS: MULTIMEMBER | 4 FICS

NOTHING IN COMMON. ALL OF THEM ARE CRAZY

FIRST AND LAST FIC

summer | s.es january 3rd, 2024

big shot | j.sc december 31st, 2024

of course i began and ended the year with my youngwonz. it's hard to tell if my writing has improved or gotten worse. i think the only way to tell would genuinely be to rewrite summer and see what i'd do different. i will say though deciding to go to autocaps was a good decision on my part because i think it makes for an easier read. i will say i went more in depth with the descriptions and everything in summer as opposed to big shot. but i will say i like how i don't need as many words to convey what i want to say anymore.

TOP FIVE FICS

twelve grapes | l.at 1,601 notes

paint you | l.at 1,385 notes

necklace | p.wb 1,369 notes

should've told me | l.at 1,251 notes

rainy day | l.at 1,155 notes

i understand now that you guys don't play about anton. like at all. i was going through all my fics like DAMN all of my hits are anton and then a short wonbin fic fighting for its damn life. thank you to my anton girlies i will try my best to keep you guys fed with amazing fics. i had no idea that any of these would be popular ESPECIALLY twelve grapes like jafnkjdfnkjsnf. you guys are amazing.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

film it | l.sh 490 notes

this was a fic that some people put on their recommended list, and a few people i've seen put this in their top five when i asked all that time ago! i really liked the concept of skater!sohee and their little story together. i can see him having a little skate crew looking for someone to film their tricks. also a happy sohee fic we cheered! i loved the readers room so much it reminded me of the room i wanted to have as a kid heh.

(honestly any of my sohee fics could've ended up here even though a majority of them are sad i always really really really like how i end up writing sohee.)

miss you more | s.es 878 notes

this fic...this fic...no i really have to say i'm surprised this didn't even break top ten in terms of notes like i feel like everyone loved this fic DOWNNNNNN. something about the yearning and the angst and eunseok being a good father just had so many of us down extremely bad. i think about this couple so often and ever since my dear friend told me this fic reminds her of siena by the marias i think of them everytime i listen to it. this fic is probably the one i've gotten asked to do a second part for the most out of all of my fics. i do have to say though, it's never happening. the open ending and the ambiguity of it all adds so much to the story and makes it so real to me.

trigger finger | j.sc 898 notes

this is still one of my favorite sungchan fics i've ever written. i love love LOVE it and the story and the party and the buildup. i feel like so many people like this fic because it's so him like jsfkjdfnskdjf. the doting perfect little boyfriend who never gets mad and you just wanna push his buttons.

stress relief | o.sh 263 notes

the drop off on these notes but IDGAF IDGAFFFF i love my shortaro fics so freaking much. at this point i write them for myself and i will continue to do so because i love writing for him so bad. this fic is my favorite because i just love the love they have for eachother and the mutual understanding. also i love the song too sweet by hozier so freaking much too so i really enjoyed writing this fic and i feel like i set the scene so nice likeee he's coming home late and you're still up. this fic makes me sick to my stomach because i want shotaro so freaking bad you guys.

LONGEST FIC

seriez: argue with you | 31.8k words in total

JESUS CHRIST....no i was actually in shock doing the math the last part for this seriez was 17.9k words. this fic took so much out of me oh my goodness. i remember doing the third part as a special event for hitting 1k and it took me like two months to finish. i seriously can't believe i wrote that much and i don't remember any of it. if you were here for the argue with you seriez and you read it i love you with all my heart.

standalone: peach fuzz | 12k words

this fic ended up going over my original word count just becasue i loved the story so much. friends to friends with benefits to a secret third thing is something so dear to me. camp counselor anton you still have my entire heart. i really love the summer caamp idea so much and i really like the ending scene of them at the pier TT i always envision it like a movie.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

bike peg | 11.6k words

such an amazing fic to write. i love everything about this fic seriously. the runaway coming back home for rehabilitation. the scenery of the city on the water with nothing better to do than riding around on your younger sisters bike. the mutual understanding between wonbin and the reader. the sofa with the plastic still on it. like something about this fic is so homey to me and was so comforting to write despite the very sad underlying theme that i didn't even realize how long the word count was. i am genuinely so proud of this fic, it's like my baby.

contact | 11k words

a more recent work of mine. now this fic i read it so quickly i'm surprised each time that it's 11k words. i really like the story told here heh my only regret is that i didn't dive deeper into the funeral part of it. i kinda still wanted to make it readable without mentioning death too much but love and death keeps us together! (magdalena bay reference). but yesss i love this fic and i love each word of it.

2024 MILESTONEZ

so many things happened to this account last year! surpassed 1k followers, finished my first seriez, wrote my first multichaptered fic, got my first commission! i had no expectations for this account so everything i achieve here is always such a shock but i welcome it with everything in me seriously!

WHAT'S NEXT

finishing my rock the house seriez, doing alot of commissionz, doing next parts for several awaited fics, hopefully getting some more people to join this lovely community of writers so i have more things to nibble on. in 2025 i also hope to dabble and try writing darker stuff! not in the sense you may think, but i want to try writing things that involve murder, stealing, and in general just more morally ambiguous things. i don't want to reveal what i have in mind but i want to really try more things involving characters and getting better at scene descriptions too! ALSO. MORE HAPPY SOHEE FICS.

this was such a long wrapped i'm sorry but i was so busy this year LMFAO. thank you everyone for making this such an awesome year for 01zfan. i am super grateful for all of you guys, and i would genuinely really really really love to hear about your favorite fic(s) of mine from 2024 or what you'd like to see in 2025! i am open and i always love to hear what you guys think of everything hehe

[fieldofheathers-stuff]

The Silco saga, Part 3: The Eye

*This is the third (well, actually fourth) post in a series I’ve lovingly dubbed “The Silco Saga, a retrospective after Season 2”. It’s halfway between flow of conscience, meta, headcanon and review, spawned from my Arcane brainrot (and recent S1 rewatch) and vaguely aimed at trying to reevaluate the entirety of Arcane with a focus on my Main Man™ Silco. Here is Part 1 (on how S2 handled Silco and Jinx’s relationship), Part 1.5 (miscellaneous thoughts regarding timeline issues and Silco’s actions towards the kids in S1ep3), and Part 2 (Vander and a bit of Zaundads, yaaay).

Please feel free to comment! I love hearing different perspectives on this show.

----------------------------

This will be a short one, but I need to get it out of my system. I just... love, love, love Arcane's use of visual language (and specifically character and environment design) to wordlessly communicate story beats. The whole show is just a perfect synergy of writing and artistic talent, where both contribute to craft a deeply layered and meaningful story.

Silco's eye is such a perfect example of this. To use the eye as a symbol of his corruption post-drowning is such a genius intuition, because it's symbolism is so immediately understandable yet also layered with meaning that is incredibly specific to his character.

There are plenty of characters in popular media where facial disfigurement is used to convey duality and corruption (the most obvious example being DC's Two-Face), and Silco could have easily gone down this well-traveled path of character design. However, by focusing on the corrupted eye in particular, this element instantly specifies the meaning of his mutilation.

Vander's violence didn't just impact him phisically. His scars don't serve just as a constant reminder of the ways in which he (and the world, since the Pilt's toxic waters are an effect of Piltover's exploitation of the Undercity) wronged him. The violence inflicted upon him distorted his vision of the world, metaphorically and literally. He is forced (first by Vander, and later by himself) to view the world through a monstrous filter.

I wonder whether him having to constantly inject Shimmer into his eye is meant to symbolize - or rather mirror - the coping mechanism he uses to deal with his trauma. Silco is shown constantly revisiting The Drowning™ as a crucial moment in his development as a person, and while in his personal narrative he reframes it as a positive and cathartic experience, we are aware, through his flashbacks, that the moment was anything but. Him needing to constantly inject Shimmer into his eye is the physical equivalent to the psycological ritual of "healing" he performs by reframing his trauma as a moment of self-improvement (and literally dunking himself in the Pilt, Silco you madman).

It's only logical, then, that the injections don't seem to work long-term. It perfectly mirrors his psychological state: as the story goes on, we see how his narrative of death and rebirth is just a superficial fix, a solution which could perhaps be sustainable for him alone, but inevitably crumbles as soon as he attempts to apply it to another person (Jinx). Jinx's tragic arc in S1 reveals the fault in his vision: there is no healing to be found in rewriting your past by cramming it into a narrative that suits your feelings and "killing" (denying, hiding, repressing) the bits that you don't like - or that are too painful for you to face.

It's deeply symbolic, then, that he still keeps his scars in the Best Timeline™ of S2ep7, but there's no sign of infection or (what I assume is) Shimmer corruption: the wounds are still there because the past can't be changed, but he is shown to have been able to shape it into something stable, manageable. It's what healing actually looks like: it's neither a return to an umblemished state, nor a rebirth into something completely new, but rather an integration of the past and present self into a whole that is not just the sum (or, in his case, a subtraction) of its parts.

[massharp1971]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Oooh, thanks for the ask! Gosh. This is going to be hard. I have to do this without looking through the list because I'll die of indecision otherwise.

1. Unbroken 16K, M rating

“I’ll protect you. All of you,” he said, because he thought that was what was expected, but much as he desperately wanted it to be true, he knew this wasn’t a storybook. His heart clenched painfully at the thought of something happening to Rodney.

“Dumbass,” Rodney said in between still slightly panicky breaths. “Go read the SGC reports and then come back and tell me who usually saves who. Spoilers: It’s science. It’s always science… still, I appreciate the thought. I believe you want that to be true.”

This fic never fails to get enthusiastic reactions from the readers that venture in. It's not an easy read, as it's about trauma and all the layers of it that go unaddressed in the show. It was one of those stories that demanded to be written. it's ultimately a healing story and one that chimes for a lot of folks.

2. Awakenings >100K, E rating

‘Hi, Mer McKay, PhD, PhD, autistic, genius, gender ambivalent, queer and kinky as fuck, compulsive over-sharer.’ Some people think this is just a smut fic, but what I like is the story - what would happen if McKay knew he was autistic and queer and had come to terms with himself more? Well, in this case, it changes the entire timeline. There are some tough bits about trauma in there too, but it's mainly about John having a sexual awakening, thanks to McKay. Lots of polyamorous and kinky fun and games. Also, of course, a mcsheppy love story.

I'm currently writing the third main part of the series and horribly stuck, but if I'd actually published it, that would be my favourite.

3. Home for Christmas 25K, M rating

He went into another store, intent on buying novelty socks or something equally silly, when suddenly he caught the strains of Judy Garland and the most heartrending Christmas song ever written.

>Someday soon we all will be together If the fates allow Until then, >we'll have to muddle through somehow

John had no resistance anymore – the tears spilled easier than rain in a monsoon, and there was no choice but to duck out of the store and hide himself behind a convenient pillar while he sobbed, not even mustering a shred of masculine indignation to be getting weepy over Judy Garland. Yeah, he was a sad old queer and he didn’t much care anymore who knew it. He didn’t have to care and he didn’t have the energy left.

I wrote this for secret santa but felt it was a bit bleak, having poured all my difficult xmas feels into the fic, but looking back i feel like it might be my perfect xmas fic. It balances the sweetness of Christmas with the reasons we need the lights to chase off the darkest times.

4. Just Friends series 7K, M rating

They talk and they talk. Into the night. John wishes he’d learned to use his mouth for something other than sucking cock long ago.

“I had it all wrong. I thought you just settled…”

Rodney frowns. “For what?”

“For the look of it… power couple. I thought you chose,” he says.

They’re in his room, sprawled against each other, the mood sad.

“I didn’t let myself think you were trapped. Didn’t know how beat she had you.”

“Yes well I pretended to myself,” Rodney says. “Easier to believe the cage is comfortable than dash yourself to pieces on the bars.”

It started as a simple fic, but then the fic needed some follow-up and I ended up writing a whole lot of drabbles. Sharing here because I'm super proud of how drabble-writing developed me as a writer and I love the soft way it all turned out. Expect lots of gentle, sprawling found family and polyam vibes with a mcsheppy centre. It starts with Keller's canonical controlling intensity developing into a truly toxic relationship for Rodney.

5. Time's come to live a real life 4.5K, E rating

“You act like we played a game and you won, and Jen’s the prize,” Ronon says. “Maybe it’s connected to what you just said. You acting like you finally got the rules of this game figured out. Only I’m not an Earther and I don’t play by your rules. To me, whatever game you’re playing? It’s not real.”

Mcdex, with background shepdex, sheplorne and mcshep and kellerdex feels. Ronon can't understand what jennifer and rodney are trying to do with one another and he shakes rodney into a wake-up call. A more Keller-charitable fic about why McKeller is bullshit.

tagging @notenufcaffeine, @sgatazmy, @acrowbyanyothername, @wonkyelk, @dedkake

[higuchisora]

I somehow managed to miss all the Christian symbolism in previous games, but as an ex-Evangelical, "Repressed Guilt-Laden Catholic Boy" Legend fucks SO hard omfg. Would this make Hyrule the Dedicated and Devout Church Camp Kid? Youth pastor in the making? (I know Catholics don't have youth pastors in the same way protestants do, just not sure how Religious Boy Scout translates in Catholic terms).

Side note, I'd personally love the idea of there being a fundamental misunderstanding of what the hell Legend and Hyrule have going on (i.e. the chain thinks Time was a cult leader in one timeline or something LMAO). Legend calling Hylia a false prophet (hysterical) would spark an intense feud between him and Sky, I just know it. Probably never gets fully resolved. The rest of the chain wondering how Hyrule and Legend rationalize being chosen by Hylia if they don't believe in Hylia, etc. Etc. OP thank you this is an amazing idea

okay I apologize to any Christians, I hope this isn’t offensive but I can’t stop thinking about it 😭

so you know how Christianity is semi-canon in the downfall timeline? Yeah- how would that work???

Christianity exists on Earth because of a long and complicated collision of history and pagan stories and then the death and resurrection of Jesus, a Jewish middle eastern man who was trying to defend his people against Roman oppressors. i know reasonably that Nintendo might’ve not expected that the Zelda series would take off so much so they probably put in some Christian iconology bc the Catholic aesthetic is kind of popular in Japan. It shows up a lot in anime too.

but now there’s a canon religion the series follows with a couple of goddess 😭

my only reasoning is that the Hyrule Christians believe that God is all powerful and that maybe Hylia, Din, Farore, Nayru are either angels or saints? More Catholic I guess

and maybe the hero of Time would be a Jesus figure?? His birth COULD be immaculate, we don’t know his parents. maybe Christianity comes from Calatia? Hylia I think only focuses on Hyrule??

in the Linked Universe I don’t personally head canon Hyrule or Legend to be catholic BUT. I think it would be really funny if they were

Legend calling Hylia a false prophet 😭

Hyrule holding up his cross like: “I prayed to God and now I can see moas”

If Time is downfall Jesus I think they would both probably have a spiritual crisis depending on how devout they both are 😭

also Legend just REALLY gives me Catholic guilt vibes.

When I was a kid my grandmother would have me recite the “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep” prayer which terrified me as a kid 😮‍💨 I feel like Hyrule would recite it every night and it would kind of just unsettle the chain.

PLEASE. Please tell me if anybody has thought the same or has thoughts on how it would work. This has been plaguing my mind

I’m sorry Christians

[cagedchoices]

kiss roulette (maeve)

kiss roulette

24. a sleepy kiss

@killjoysanonymous

It's an almost cruel irony just how strongly they've been set up to fail at something that shouldn't even have been a test in the first place. 'And there's only one bed' is a concept straight out of some cheesy romance story, but it's also a reality observed by the duo staring down at the solo queen-sized bed available in their rented suite. And soon enough, feelings and questions they've each tried to bury and forget are pried open at the instant they respectively slip beneath the covers. Is this love, and if it is, is it real?

Not that Caleb understands the world as such, but a human on the most basic level of biological comprehension is nothing more than a collection of electrical impulses trying desperately to make sense of its environment. A person is little more than a meatsack firing off a series of synapses that create a chain reaction of chemicals that result in a thought. The thought then cascades into a look, a word, a gesture that spirals into chaos and the ruin of mankind itself. 

Humans are powered by a science that they seldom possess the capacity to even try to think about. Most never question whether their experiences are real or not, if the things they feel are authentic and true or just some story they tell themselves to define who they are, or why they act in the ways that they do. Sleep is a prime example of the same process by which entire civilizations have been brought crumbling to their knees.

But it's the drowsy press of his mouth he offers up to Maeve's that surpasses any notion of war or love or reality that ever has or ever will exist in any possible future. He can barely keep his eyes open, which is fine for this — they're not necessary for kissing anyway. He can taste just a suggestion of sherry lingering past her lips, the slightest mix of almond, caramel, and grape wine that she'd had in lieu of a real dinner.

The more time he spends around her, the more the line between their kinds is softened and obscured. It hardly matters that she isn't A human in the legitimate sense of the word. But then a wave of guilt washes over him, or something with a similar effect, and he breaks off the kiss.

His chin comes to rest soundly on her shoulder, words musing quietly. "This is insane, isn't it? Us..."