#in other words the people who need that money the most 👍

[databent]

you can tell im poor cos i got so fucking tired of my banks low balance alerts (default amount was $25 i think?) that i set the limit to fucking $0.01. cos i already know its always low. cos im poor

[suffarustuffaru]

why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍

i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.

but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!

otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.

sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.

but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.

“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”

(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)

except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“

this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—

“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”

um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.

otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going

and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.

otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33

and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"

also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.

but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.

and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!

but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.

and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.

and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.

otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:

theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.

but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!

and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.

anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.

youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.

and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.

yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍

but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.

because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".

because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.

[kittencomicslol]

!Upper moon reader x !Human Gyutaro headcannons

RAHHH MY FIRST THINGY!!

Requested by @be-wildering , I hope you like it!!

—————

Notes

I know the word ‘obsessive’ can sometimes be correlated with yanderes or something toxic (which I don’t write) but I’m just gonna snag it as the whole overly protective and very concerned reader. Obsessive habits n stuff to make sure he’s okay but nothing that’s actually toxic or gross 👍🧈

Also sorry I had no idea how to specify the reader was an upper moon and not just a demon in most of the writing because Gyutaro didn’t really know anything about demon hierarchies when he was human so whoppsiies

Also I know the whole ‘oh well demon killing someone for their lover is technically yandere’ but in this context I think it makes more sense and it’s fine, especially considering Gyutaro does the same thing to people who get in his way. My writing I can do what I want; not like the reader is killing Gyutaros loved ones, just annoying humans who are making him struggle. No plot was specified so I tried to work up something. It’s not perfect, But what the hell. Also, Ume mentions; love Ume she’s so cute ❤️❤️

TWS!!

-Mentions of gore (duhh demon reader DUHH)

•Gyutaro was always a crude man, only caring for his little sister.

•Nobody wanted to interact with him, and the feeling was mutual

•His work as a debt collector got dirty, and it wasn’t a long shot to say that Gyutaro had killed a few people. Due to this he wasn’t to startled by gore or murder

•Except for the night he met you

•One of his ‘clients’ hadn’t been meeting up at planned times and didn’t pay up. Gyutaro was gonna go collect his debt and do what he did best

•But when he broke into the man’s house and found you on top of him eating what remained after you mauled his body, Gyutaro felt like he was about to pass out.

•You had been hungry; you just wanted a snack. You didn’t expect to have another human walk in.

•You considered eating or killing him, but looking at how skinny he was and the poor condition he lived in you felt pity instead.

•You were a demon but you don’t hate humans. You just didn’t really care for them.

•But something about Gyutaro interested you. The way he lived in constant struggle, his strange deformed body, those little birthmarks.. it was just something you had never seen before.

•You weren’t just gonna let him stand there though.

• ‘What are you doing here?’ You asked firmly as you looked back at the disheveled man that stood before you in shock. He quickly responded; visibly fearful of your presence. He had seen many strong people before, he had hurt many people before. Some people considered him fearless. But seeing a demon in front of him was too much. ‘I— I work as a debt collector, man.. I came here to collect my fair share of this old man’s money..’ he responded, though his voice was shaky and he was clearly startled. ‘Hm..’ you pondered for a moment. You usually didn’t take interest in humans but this man in particular you were rather interested in. You looked over the man’s ripped up body, looking in his pockets yet finding no money on him. You let out a little huff and turned back to the man standing before you, licking the blood off of your lips. ‘He doesn’t have any on him. You’ll need to go look around the house. Just don’t interrupt me.’

•You didn’t need to tell him twice.

•Before he left he paused. He didn’t ever say thank you but, you had technically just gotten him more money then he was gonna get.. and even though you were a demon you didn’t kill him. He figured he should thank you. So he did.

•It wouldn’t be the last time you ran into him. Yoshiwara was an easy place to hunt. A lot of rich humans usually went on trips that required them to walk through the dirty poor streets of the Rashomon riverbank. And while they were there they had nobody left to protect them; no big city surrounding them that would cause a demon to hesitate on an attack.

•Over time you and Gyutaro ran into each other frequently. He wasn’t a threat; and he clearly wasn’t reporting you to demon slayers. So you grew rather fond of the man.

•You would give him little things the humans you killed had, such as cleaner clothes, food, and especially money. He appreciated it.

•It was odd to him. The fact a demon; a creature that was fueled off of hate and violence was kinder to him than his own kind. But he wasn’t one to complain about it.

•At first he was annoyed; finding your charity to be a form of pity. He hated being looked down on, he could look after himself. But he wasn’t stupid.

•Getting mad at and arguing with a man eating demons because they were helping instead of eating you? Yea no thanks. He stuck with doing his best to be polite.

•He didn’t want to die; he had to live. He needed to take care and provide for Ume. That was his goal; that was his job. And if leeching off of a demon was how he did it, then so be it.

•You two began to start chatting instead of just having this weird transaction. Afterall you two had known each other a year by now.

•Gyutaro sort of trusted you. He was still worried this was some form of manipulation and you were gonna end up hurting him or Ume. But you never did.. not even after a year. So he was willing to be more open.

•He would explain what he needed sometimes; he would rant as well. His rants were quite often. About how people should be more grateful for what they have and how most humans were horrible.

•You found his passion about the topic endearing; and you found his love for Ume adorable.

•And you made sure damn well he knew how much you liked him. It was rambling sometimes; and Gyutato didn’t believe it at first. But even when he didn’t express his feelings he really did cherish it.

•You made sure other demons left Gyutaro and his sister alone.

•Most demons knew you were an upper moon and respected your wishes without question, but if one was too cocky you had no quarrels with finding a way to ensure they would get burnt to a crisp in the sun

•Of course Gyutaro sometimes hadd issues with rude people or clients; but thankfully they either all went missing or for some reason became much more willing to work with him.

•He thinks he knows why. Not like he actually really cared. If he found out you were the reason; he would thank you. It’s not like he cared about other humans anyways.

•You never offered to turn him into a demon because you knew his loyalties remained with his little sister. You respected him so you wouldn’t tear him away from her.

•What started to make him like you even more was when you gave gifts for Ume as well.

•Ume loved you. At first she was obviously terrified, hiding behind her big brother and crying. But over time you grew on her.

•You gave her gifts and helped her big brother. Even if you were scary; Gyutaro explained the situation.

•Ume's entire world was based on Gyutaro and she trusted him with her life. So she trusted you too.

•‘Brother likes you? Oh well I guess I do too’ type attitude.

•Sometimes your nagging about him needing to be careful was a little annoying; but he was glad you cared. He never mind if you killed a man who upset him considering he did the exact same thing when someone upset him.

•He was already afraid of contact with other humans; so working up to be able to be more close with you was hard. He has horrible trust issues and the fact you had big teeth and claws didn’t make him any calmer.

•He doesn’t like being seen as little or weak. He wants to be seen as who he is; not demeaned or babied. So when you respected that his trust formed a bit more.

•Gyutaro honestly never could really do more than a hug or hand holding for a while. But when winters rolled around he would let you help keep him and Ume warm at night.

•The bond you had with those two was special. So when you stopped seeing them three years after spending a lot of time with them; you were rightfully worried.

•But soon enough you discovered what happened. How they nearly died. And how Douma had turned them both into demons.

•Now there was nothing that could tear the three of you apart. And they didn’t have to struggle as much anymore.

•You were glad.

•You would be lying if you didn’t admit to helping the two climb up the ranks; but you also understood that even without you the siblings were very powerful.

•As a demon, Gyutaro had changed slightly. He definitely became more violent. You were worried it might ruin the bond you two had and now that you didn’t give them anything anymore wouldn’t want to see you.

•But thankfully; that wasn’t the outcome. Over time with work you two worked on becoming even closer than you already were. He was more comfortable with opening up now, and even more comfortable with the idea of snuggling.

•You definitely didn’t plan on the two becoming demons; but you definitely weren’t complaining.

[larsnicklas]

I'm glad the Draisaitl contract negotiation is over even though the aftermath leaves me a bit baffled.

All the talk about him taking a team friendly deal and then he takes a front loaded 14mil deal to become the highest paied player. Could he have made a bit more open market? Probably. Would the world have seen that he's not*that* good of a player without 97 and the powerplay if that had happened? Also probably. I doubt He wants the world to see that. Is this really a teamfriendly deal and, in his own words, "all about winning and not selfish like in the past"? Absolutly fucking not. The difference between 13 or 14 or 15 million isn't life changing in the way a raise from 1 to 3 million would be but other players were crucifiate for disloyality for that. Draisaitl took everything he could moneywise from Edmonton and good for him, but the audacity to make it look like he somehow cut a teamfriendly deal because he cares more about winning with the team than getting his bag is truly baffling. He's not even their best player, he's just their 2C, and he's slowly aging out of his Prime. Maybe three more real good years? Edmonton has to pay him for 8. Plus how good is he really when he can't deliver in high stake games like against Florida? When he can't control his temper and reverts to dirty plays like against Barkov?

And i really don't want to start what it says that he happily plays for a pos like Bowman. That they all do, but especially 29 and 97 who would have had the power to do something about it like the bruins did back then.

guys i don't know what you want me to say 😭 i don't have leon d.raisaitl's ear, i can't give him a piece of your mind 😭😭😭 i agree that people like b.owman shouldn't be allowed back in the nhl, but despite what we may want to believe about how influential players are, they're not the ones holding the checkbooks or the real power in the league, and while i'm not going to absolve any part of the machine wholly i think the blame should fall heavily on the owners and board of governors much more than players or other staff re: reinstating b.owman/q.uenneville/etc.

as far as team friendly goes, the friendliness is that he stayed in e.dmonton ;aklskljsdafladkjsf. he was one of the most drastically underpaid players in the league this past contract so the massive hike was both expected and understandable imo! i won't ever be actually mad at players getting all the money they can even if i complain about it when it's my team paying, and the players' association is most definitely happy with this deal. realistically speaking i don't think he needs cmd to be a star player, i just think he and cmd amplify each other's effectiveness. and yeah, i'm not fond of edm's playing style, and i don't like the cheap shots that whole team seems to like to take when the going gets tough, but i don't think it's truthful to say d.raisaitl isn't a good playoff performer when he and cmd are always dragging that team along year after year. he wasn't good this postseason but he was battling injuries that really hindered how effective he could be so i would consider it an outlier and not the norm.

anyway tl;dr: i'm glad mr d.raisaitl got his bag and i hope he never ever wins as long as he's playing for the blue and orange 👍

[lemmetreatya]

HELLO if you are free at the time can you write and eren x reader insta post prt 2? With both of his moms again that was really good if that isn’t to much may I ask if it’s like him spending money on her too ? LOVE YOURE WORKS BTW

Eren’s Insta Spam (Pt.3)

eren x black!fem reader

part 1

part 2

AHH! Yes thank you so much for the request! A part 3 was definitely overdue so thank you for reminding me lool! Hope you enjoy beloved 🫶🏾 Also: BIG UP! TUN UP! to @erenxh for helping me out with a few of the translations for Carla,, you truly an OG 🫰🏾💙 + @quiveringdeer as the honorary tag for these aus

Okay so as we know, Eren has a lot of ‘fans’ who are genuinely really nice to him — but only him — and so whenever he takes you out, he tries to be low-key.

Buuuut it doesn’t mean YOU have to be lowkey and so whenever youre out and about you take pics of him and he occasionally posts these

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ej__jaeger dump! taken by the one who captures me thru the lens of love xx @ynprivnotpriv

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ynprivnotpriv the caption??? you’re so cheessyyyy 😭😭 luv you thoo 💖💖

grishaj__ 👍🫰

ej__jaeger @ynprivnotpriv only this cheesy for you my love

ej__jaeger @grishaj ❤️❤️

But besides that, Eren loves to take you out and spoil you with stuff. It’s kinda controversial though because look okay, Eren’s not a bum per se, but he also HATES working or doing anything labour wise so it’s really Grisha’s money he’s spending on you 😭😭😭 Like he gets a lil money from sponsors and that but its barely liveable earnings

And although you don’t mind, at times it’s like “Okay, Eren. We need to get you a job.” Because he’s at the checkout but on a phone call with his Dad talking bout “Just send it to me now, I’ll explain when I get home.” And you really dont wanna be spending Mr. Jaeger Sr.’s hard earned surgery money like that shdjdjd but Eren wouldn’t take the initiative to do any of that shit himself so you get Carla and Dina involved

“What about a Barista? You’ve got that cute hipster look to you, they’ll love you there.” You said.

All four of you sat in the living room around your laptop, scrolling on various job searching sites to find Eren an occupation. He however seemed to be the least enthusiastic.

“Noooo. Too many of my fan— People, I know go there. It’ll be too bait.”

“That’s okay!” Carla exclaims. “It means you can give them discounts and talk to your friends while you’re on your shift.”

You stifled a giggle, knowing those weren’t the type of people Eren was talking about but alas, we move.

Annoyingly bouncing a tennis ball onto the ceiling and then catching it, Eren sighed as he ran a hand through his hair and paced around the room.

“Man, I need something that pays good money but small hours and allows me all the flexi shifts I want.”

“öyle iş istiyorsan git de sihirli fasulye ye!” Carla tuts.

The brunette whizzed round in shock.

“You urging me to become a drug dealer?!”

“What?!” You look towards Carla with a gasp.

Shaking her head and hands, the woman tried to clear the allegations her son stuck on her.

“No! I told him to go eat magic beans if he wants a job so easy!” Carla explained but then followed up her words with a taunt in Eren’s direction — a warning not to make her look bad.

“Well, what about Zeke’s place? I’m pretty sure he could get you a nice position over there.”

All of you looked towards Dina who had a rather elated expression on her face. This also seemed to pique Eren’s interest seeing as he stopped pacing and gave Dina an intrigued look.

“Wouldn’t that make me a Nepo baby?” He asked.

With a straight face you narrowed your eyes at your boyfriend.

“Boy, that’s really your concern?” You deadpanned. This seriously couldn’t be the most testing factor of working with Zeke of all people but apparently Dina and Eren were on the same page.

“I don’t think it will.” Dina made a thinking face before bringing up her phone to do a quick search. “I only think it affects you if it’s passed down from a parent and not across from a sibling.”

With a groan, Carla threw her head onto your shoulders, feigning fatigue.

“Oh my goodness, my annecim only wants to be rich. Not a hard working bone in his body — Oh! I’ve failed.”

With a soft laugh, you patted the woman’s head.

“Sorry, Carla. I know you tried your best.”

At the end of the day though, Eren makes sure he always spoils you with nice things and doesnt mind spending maintenance money on you! He’ll always have coin for you regardless and loves when he sees you all dolled up under his appendage

he’s THAT Guy: he’ll wait for you when you get your manicures done and talks smooth with all the workers so he can get discounts and shii dhjddk 😭😭

“Girl, can I just say, your boyfriend is such goals? Like how he so smood with it?”

The nail technician briefly removed her face mask to whisper that to you, eyeing the way he was making easy conversation with the other woman.

With a small laugh, you tapped on side of your Airpod to pause your music so that you could also turn round to observe his antics.

“Yeah, no he treat me real well.”

Turning round back to her, you gave her a knowing look.

“You want me to hook you up with one of his friends?”

“What, they just as good as him?!” She whispered.

“Oh, nobody as good as him but they good.” Giving her a knowing look, you pursed your lips over at the woman.

With a nod and an impressed look back, the techniciane moved back to continue her work on your nails, her mood more excited.

“Okay, okay. I’ll see what you got to offer.”

Liked by dinafritz_off_fitfh, jeankir_jr and 29 others

ej__jaeger she keeps saying her feet are cold but she never wants to wear socks 🤨⁉️ LIKE??? if your lil white manny toes are cold, SOCK EM! 🗣🗣

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sashabear7891 FOR FREE EREN???? FOR FREE???! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

uchihabapegod put dem dawgs away son 🌭

ej__jaeger @sashabear7891 you always know where to get the prem shit thoooo

ej__jaeger @uchihabapegod okay zeke so now that youve said that explain to me why exactly youre perceiving my girls toes??? 🤨📸

ej__jaeger @jeankirjr_ I am giving you three working minutes to unlike this post.

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ej__jaeger ROD 🚀

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mikamikamii THATS A BIG ROCK??

uchihabapegod Marriage?? In this economy???

carlaakarjaeg_34 Eren Text Me Right Now. Please Eren

yummir @ynprivnotpriv lmaooooooo i know you aint sleeping rn bitch come explaaiinn???

conniethe_conman only reason i know you lot are playing us is bc i know eren DOES NAWT have the funds for that and because y/n wouldn’t say yes to an unemployed MAN 😆😆

ej__jaeger @conniethe_conman the way you’re the only one to not fall for it but DAMN???

[turtle--soup]

Watching TMNT Next Mutation Episode 7 (when I really shouldn't be but... eh.) 😅

Ramblings under the cut.

Sewer rays? OK.

Dude's riding a motorbike through the sewer. Raph just makes it look so cool he stated a trend huh?

"Do I wanna meet the NYPD? Hmm... naaahh, absolutely not!" Same Mikey, same...

Big monkey. Who is his voice actor? He sounds familiar...*

"I can't believe this! I've been dissed by a gangster ape!" Mikey bro this is like a regular Monday for you surely?

"Certified turtlefied!" Adding that to the List of Things I Can't Believe They Say

"Cops in the sewers? They don't sell donuts down here!" Raph providing the obligatory donut jokes 👍

"I dunno what you been eatin'. But I want some." Why don't they believe Mikey about the monkey dude? Like literally they are talking turtles. If anything a talking ape is less weird

These gangsters are all dressed like they're cosplaying alt- design Joker Funko Pops. Or they got lost on the way to audition to be in the 60s Batman TV show.

"We're ninja - not the Power Rangers!" Yesssssss they're crossing the streeeeeaaaamms!

Raph 'n' roll honestlyyyyyyy that's a catchphrase?? Raph buddy...

"That's team leader" 😤 Aw Don Don, you don't deserve this disrespect

"EY BAWS" hoooooo my god

"The schnooks" OK Venus.

"Battlin' crime is FUN! Heh heh I feel like Batman!" Yeah that'll be the knockoff Joker suits.

Also like... the guys are acting like they don't fight crime? But like... they fought the Foot before? And I know that was bc they were an evil ninja clan specifically but you can't tell me they weren't Doing A Crime every now and then? And that was probably why the turtles fight them, at least sometimes??

The TA DAAAAA sound effect again 👌

All the money flying out of the back of the van this is genuinely the cheesiest live action cartoon

God I love how completely done Donnie is today

Mikey that was so fruity (affectionate)

Oh that's convenient. They moved most of the gold in Fort Knox to NYC for a bit. Of course.

The turtles just so happen to be living directly under half the gold in America right now. Of course.

"Translation for the thick of skull" oof Donnie he's your brother! Or not. So you all have a free pass to hit on your sister Venus.

"I suggest big caution" Leo providing much needed representation for people who can't words good (me).

NUCULAR?? DON WTF YOU ARE NOT HOMER SIMPSON

Isn't there a super villain who's a big monkey dude? I can't remember rn and its winding me up**

Honestly these accents... I could've been a VA on this show. I can butcher an East Coast accent with the best of them

Was I supposed to be able to see that wire??

Oh no they've trapped Venus in a classic Thunderbirds episode!

No genuinely though this could be pretty exciting if it wasn't like 3 minutes from the end of the episode...

Raph is very worried. "Whadda we doo just stand around and PANIC??" He's so relatable

Aw Don...

Aw they're crying 😭 bless them

It's a good job Donnie and Venus didn't die, the other three have to share one brain cell and I'm not sure Splinter could handle that alone

The code was Donnie's birthday asdghghfgdgk

"You mess with the monkey and it gets funky" this dude is legit a Power Rangers villain

--

*IT WAS GARY CHALK! I knew I knew that voice! How's a guy get typecast as a talking gorilla, anyway? I really hope that whoever cast him did that intentionally, and if they did I hope they also know that they're a legend.

**I think I might be thinking of Gorilla Grodd??

[pinkkittysaw]

HI I DON’T WANT TO PUT ALL OF THE EMOJIS BUT I WANT TO KNOW ALL OF THEM FOR YOUR ASK GAME THX 🤝

MY DEAREST SAINT ty for giving me the space to be mentally ill about my beloved(s)

i’m answering these for clive since i’m the most mentally ill about him right now 👁️👁️

answers will be under the cut due to length (and some embarrassment)

🥺: how long have you two been together?

about four to five years or so

❤️: any talk of marriage?

not in any official capacity. though vows may have been whispered to each other on a particularly romantic evening. our souls are both intertwined for the rest of eternity ^_^

🕊️: any pets?

TORGAL!!!!!!! the most loyal and fluffy hound in all of valisthea. so warm and cuddly. such a good boy. i enjoy feeding him lots of treats. clive’s heart always aches seeing the two of us snuggled up together napping.

i also have a habit of caring for any strays that wander about

🫂: do you two live together?

yes!

💌: if yes to the last question - how long?

technically we’ve been living in the same place together since he arrived to the hideaway but we didn’t start sharing chambers together til a short while after we starting dating.

💭: where did you two meet?

the infirmary 😭 i was working as an apprentice under tarja at the time and aided in tending to jill when cid brought her in.

after completing my training i started going on assignments as a healer and would often join clive n co. 😌

🥰: have you met their family? have they met yours?

i have!!! i’ve met joshua, jill, his uncle and his mother (unfortunately). did not get to meet his father before his passing, sadly (RIP TO A DILF 😔)

i simply do not have living family in most of my selfships 😭😭 so he has not met any of my relatives

😜: who is the silly one who jokes and laughs a lot?

definitely me 😔 it’s always 50/50 on whether my jokes hit or not.

clive is funny but it’s always unintentional (whereas i’ll put in effort to make people laugh) he’ll do or say something and get a giggle out of me and be like ???

😯: have you two ever taken a road trip/vacation?

not intentionally. we’ve traveled lots of places but never for leisure because we’re both such busy bees. if we’re both not out on assignments we’re usually still working. i spend most of my time in the infirmary than not.

that being said, i do make note of all the scenic places we visit to bookmark them for when more peaceful times come. the first place i’d want us to go to together is the sea. i feel the most at peace there.

😠: what’s the worst fight you’ve had?

we both have a habit of running into danger especially when the other’s life is at stake heh heh i’d say the worst outburst was during one particular scare clive gave me with his injuries.

after patching him up i became sort of passive aggressive towards him and when he calls me out on it i kind of blow up about how he can be really reckless sometimes, that i understand the importance of destroying the mother crystals but his safety will always be most important to me (as selfish as it is) and it ends up with me sobbing in his arms crying about how if anything ever happened to him i don’t know if i could go on.

obviously he’s very powerful but i can’t help but worry!!!!!!

navigating our relationship with our joint trauma sure has been interesting 👍

🤑: who has the worst spending habit?

me 😔

clive is a man of necessity for the most part and while i’m not reckless per-say, if i’m out and have the money to buy a little trinket i probably will 😭

❤️‍🔥: how does your love languages differ?

tbh i don’t know which love language of mine is the one that i need most so honestly idk!!! 😭 i am the most greedy for love angel throughout the heavens

imo, clive is big on words of affirmation. gentle reminders that he’s not actually the big bad monster he often thinks he is. just sticking by him throughout everything means a lot.

😽: who likes pda?

we both do! though clive is more reserved than i. i kinda get in fits where i’m overwhelmed with energy and need to melt into him like butter and crawl all over him. there’s no containing me at that point.

though most of the time in public it’s just me holding him from behind or hugs. his embrace is always really comforting and calming and he always indulges me ^_^

though he won’t initiate kisses in front of others cause it makes him embarrassed. i’m always the one pressing a chaste kiss to his lips after finishing up in the dining hall, leaving him in his flustered state with the rest of our dining companions.

🛏️: who stays up late? goes to bed early?

depends on the day tbh. i’m the one who usually tries to go to sleep early, since i love mornings. sometimes we’re both up late working, or plagued with thoughts of the past. i usually fall asleep before he does regardless of what time it is while he keeps a watchful eye over my sleeping form.

😘: any pet names they call you? you call them?

clive and i are both chronic calling each other by their name type people 😭

but in more intimate settings, he’ll call me angel and i’ll let a baby or two slip out

👄: talk about your first or best kiss thus far

first kiss!! first kiss!!!

okay so it wasn’t long before we started dating. he had gotten injured while he was out and had to visit the infirmary. tarja wasn’t in and i was the only one running things. he had a few gashes that needed to be stitched as well as a few abrasions.

after 13 long years of fighting, i was the first gentle and “loving” touch he had. we’d friends for a short while at that point, some mutual pining going on though neither of us were acting on it.

at that point he was still in the mentality of not thinking he was deserving of any kindness due to what happened in his past. so when i come around gently stitching up his and tending to his other wounds, he’s taken aback. plus i may have been chastising him on being more careful cause there’s people around the hideaway (me) who worry for his safety and bla bla bla.

basically he gets overwhelmed with feeling and doesn’t know how to deal with it other than pulling me for a kiss. (mid stitch mind you!!! he was lucky no further damage was caused)

🖼️: who decorates the house?

both our stuff is has a place in our chambers but i’m the one who decides what goes where

[absolutepokemontrash]

Your Fankids Obm is Cute they are all adorable🤩 what if your Fankids meet with another Fankids Obm from other universe? If you don't mind how will they react if they meet my Obm Fankids or Obey me Brothers meet their Child from another universe( I also need someone to talk about it 🥲 ) feel free to ignore ( sorry if I wrong, English is not my First Language)

•FIRST CHILD ( Morningstar Triplets ) FULL DEMON

Lucius, Father's face and hair but his personality is cheerful, Lucius is the type of child who is very curious and likes to go around but strangely rarely gets into trouble also this child is also cunning and a great liar, only his father knows when he is lying, Lucius also tends to be a person who has no problem having fun as long as he doesn't risk his pride ( shhh Lucius is actually Everyone Favorite big brother)

Kaiser, Another Father's face and hair. the quietest among the triplets he is also the one who most often arranges his siblings to behave properly, he is not as fierce as Lucifer and tends to be more patient but still firm (also he hate Carrot but never Admit it) when he was little he liked to read using a flashlight at night when he should be sleeping and as a result he had to wear glasses, He's the type to let his siblings have fun as long as it's under his supervision

Sirius, ANOTHER Father' face but mama hair also Sirius is often called 'SIRI' by his siblings (he hates it) he is also the fiercest and somewhat aggressive of the three, VERY much like his father in terms of personality the only difference being that Sirius prefers cats, his angry face is similar to MC and it's... scary!

Creepy things about them, they can pretend to be be each other and neither noticed the difference (Sirius change his hair color) except for one, Cerberus. yup, Cerberus knows their difference. usually they take advantage of their resemblance for fun

•SECOND CHILD ( Asmodeus Daughter ) HALF DEMON

Bia, mom's face and daddy's hair. her personality is also similar to asmodeus but this girl is sometimes more daring like touching mud or if there is an insect that her father hates she throws it away, obviously Bia inherited Beauty from both her parents 👍 she also has MC comfort skills and therapy, Bia is not afraid of ghosts, ghosts are afraid of her. Also Bia is a target for her younger siblings to protect them from the triplets' anger because usually she will defend them or at least try to assuage the triplets' anger

• THIRD CHILD ( Belphie & Beel Son) FULL DEMON

Altan, Altan's biological father is Beel but Beel wants his son to think that Belphie is his father too. His personality is similar to Beel and MC both combine, Altan is the same as Beel but doesn't need snacks 24/7 but when it's time to eat he gets a LOT he also picks up on Belphie's habit which is always sleepy and a bit lazy, Altan is very good at martial arts and basketball but sometimes his laziness makes him more skilled at finding a nap (also he takes over Belphie's pillow) his Favorite food is His mom homemade cook

• FOURTH CHILD ( Levi Player No.3 ) HALF DEMON

Henri, They got rid of the 'y' and replaced it with 'i' (suggestion by MC for wanting to name him something else but gave in for Levi sake) Totally introverted otaku A.K.A Ambivert, he tends to be a bit of a jock but otaku, sometimes he'll be shy around new people he also the closest to Mammon's child because he thinks his little sister is cute but also Hella Annoying (he spoils her a bit) he is obsessed with 1990s anime or old anime and games that have been released for a long time and are rare (he is an antique Otaku collector)

• FIFTH CHILD ( The Great Mammon Jewels ) FULL DEMON

Millian, Taken from the word 'Million' this girl's nickname is Mil/Millie, Dad's face and mom's hair but Lowkey has her father's personality but she is smarter, make a deal with her with a bet of money (she plans it neatly) and make sure your money will go to her bank account , Millie admires her father and she knows that even though her father has many shortcomings but she loves her father for who he is (this makes Mammon cry) she is also very close to Henri and tends to bully him in a good way ofc

• YOUNGEST CHILD ( Satan Favorite kitten) HUMAN

Runa, A sweet and quiet girl she has her mama's face and her daddy's hair, she has a mixture of both her parents but she definitely has her daddy's temperament. Runa is often bullied by the Morningstar Triplets especially Lucius, Runa has a Frenemy relationship with the Triplets but she doesn't hate them (she finds them very annoying and worth torturing!) just like Satan she loves cats but prefers Big cats (Tiger, lion, and others) want to take care of them but know it's impossible because Uncle/Papa ​​Lucifer forbids it. meanie. overall she's a sweet girl but her temperament turns her into Satan 2.0

Thank you 🔆

BABIES- 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Awwwww I love them so much,,,,,

Also, if I had a nickel for every time someone gave Lucifer Morningstar triplet fankids, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. Right, @ice-cweam-sod4 ?

Anyhoo~ I think Venus would take on the big sibling role pretty easily. They’re the type of sibling that takes you to get ice cream before dinner if you’re hanging out outside in the summer. Though, Lucius better be careful, no one’s allowed to bully any children of Satan on their watch!

Ash and Millie would definitely be partners in crime. With Mammon’s talent of coming up with crazy money-making skills mixed with the smarts to actually pull the plans off? The Devildom isn’t ready-

Bia 🤝 (peacekeepers) 🤝 Cecil. I guess the children of Asmodeus are just good at making people stop arguing!

But for the other kids… if we’re bringing in the Hell Timeline-

Arien: …

The other kids: …

Arien: Do you guys want to start **FIRES?**

[melodythebunny]

So there are fics and aus where Wordgirl turns villain because of the city's constant needs finally making her snap. There are also variations where Wordgirl becomes a version of Miss Power either due to the woman or an outside force. I also remember your power trip au for Carrie. What if Wordgirl had one but it was ....different. What if the Fair City's government officials and police force, not including Mrs. Botsford and a few common sense ones, decide they and others had enough of Dr. Two Brains' antics, there is also some rich people influence as well. So they decide to remove the mouse brain once and for all. The problem is that they put normal surgeons to do this, they don't use experts in neurology, too much of a money waste according to them, they use prison doctors or low level surgeons who are not capable of doing Two Brains' surgery. They don't even consult or inform Professor Tubing who has offered to do this with his own skills. Dr. Two Brains does survive the surgery, but the side effects, he is not in a coma, but he is not there either. There is no Steven, no Two Brains, now Squeaky, just a shell of a man who is trying to function and doesn't know who or what he is. He still recognizes villains and his pinky and a few friends, but that is it. He sadly needs care for himself now and can't really take care of his own child anymore. Becky is understandably FURIOUS and confronts those responsible. They tell Wordgirl he was a villain and they were just trying to stop him, not caring about the consequences. Becky at this point is like "well if you think you can fight criminals yourselves, your on your own." She begins her own power trip. She first demolishes the police station and the jail house. Becky as Wordgirl and herself causes crimes in her father's stead now, taking over and calling herself Professor Words. She does steal cheese but mostly for other mice living in the city. The warehouse is now a sanctuary for mice and cats living together peacefully. She gives weapons to the other villains for them to use in their crimes and aids them sometimes herself. Carrie becomes her second in command and top bodyguard for the emotional girl. The henchmen also aid her as well. Two Brains still gives Becky love and parental affection but he can't talk anymore, he sometimes squeaky but also gives grunts or hmms's most of the time he is unresponsive. The villains aid Becky, Carrie, and the Henchmen taking care of her dad. Her friends are actually on board with Becky's power trip and aid her as spies or assistants sometimes. Becky doesn't directly attack citizens and makes sure she keeps them out of harms way, but she is done being the hero now. The city is split now with those siding with city hall and those saying City Hall and the police are at fault for all of this. This is a dark power trip au.

What do you think?

@drtwobrainsstuff

👀😈👍✨💖

-give me moment to grab some tissues-

[rcmissicn]

ANSWER ALL OF IT, PLEASE 👀👀👀

🌟 What is my muse’s sexual/romantic orientation?

Queer - That's as far as he'll take the definition. He doesn't overshare with those who are not intimately involved with said definition

Hopeless Romantic - A hopeless romantic who doesn't believe in his own happy ending because of the mess he's made of his life and the lives of others 💦 At what age did my muse lose their virginity?

Too young to even contemplate or experience, 14. We won't be expanding on this admittance 😘 Would my muse have sex on the first date?

He likes to consider himself old fashion so the answer is no 😊 Would my muse ever ask someone on a date?

Absolutely. He has. He's sure he will again. 👍 Does my muse prefer to be asked on a date, or would they rather do the asking?

Rather do the asking 😉 What are my muse’s fetishes/kinks?

He has a thing for freshly waxed and extremely smooth intimate parts. Don't read too much into it. He just enjoys the feel of smooth skin in his hands, mouth, and the tip of his tongue 💬 When did my muse go on their first date?

15 or 16 maybe. He had his first real job and really had the money to spoil someone. 💯 What is my muse’s ideal date?

He doesn't necessarily have an ideal date. The moment or experience is centered around the person. Their likes or even what he feels may impress them in the moment. He doesn't have dating templates but likes to study a person, potential partner, and learn what may impress or woo them 💗 Has my muse ever been in love?

Yes. Maybe more than once. Maybe he still is. 👠 What was my muse’s last serious relationship like?

Which relationship are we discussing? His marriage? Or the fumbled play with an intimate acquaintance who moved very far west. These words may fit both - Chaotic. Pleasure - filled. Seflish. Intense. Wet. 👰 Would my muse ever get married?

Yes he has and yes he would again. 🌼 Would my muse prefer a big wedding or a small wedding?

Small. Intimate. 🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?

Dom. Most definitely dom. 🏩 What was my muse’s first time like?

A moment he would care not to remember. 🎆 Is my muse into monogamy?

Yes. And at times selfishly one-sided. 💕 Would my muse ever be in a polyamorous relationship?

No. He's never been one to share. 🔥 Would my muse ever be up for a threesome?

In theory yes but his selfishness would probably get in the way. Also, see previous answer. 👮 Has my muse ever had sex in public?

Absolutely. 💔 What was my muse’s first heartbreak?

Not to say that he's a man without romantic regrets or disappointments, he has several and some could be classified as heartbreak but the one that has registered the most with Nestor, is Raleigh's distance and even the knowledge that he desires to have a relationship with the birth parents who gave him up. 💑 What are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner?

Requirements sounds official and sterile. There has to be a certain level of physical, emotional, and sexual chemistry between them. Open mindedness this is always needed. A desire to see positivity and the bright side. Attractive and able to engage in conversation that doesn't leave his brain numb and desperate for literate discussions. 💋 How many people has my muse slept with?

Too many to fit his ten fingers. There's a list. He enjoyed his youth. Even pre-marriage, some infidelity during marriage, and he's definitely been more selective after, or perhaps he's craving the attention of someone special. 👀 Is my muse the type to sleep around?

No. He is an open minded adult, willing to engage in activities that meet his sexual needs. 👎 Would my muse ever cheat on their partner?

He has. Would he do it again? He's not sure. He'd like to say no, he wouldn't. 😳 What was my muse’s worst romantic/sexual relationship?

Maybe his marriage. And not for a lack of physical compatibility or even desire. Their tensions and inability to behave like adults during tense moments, created a toxic environment in their marriage. 💲Would my muse ever date/marry/sleep with someone because they were rich?

Now, no. When he was younger, perhaps. 👓 Would my muse ever lie for sex?

He doesn't need to. You've seen him. 👿 Would my muse ever blackmail someone into sex?

Doesn't need to. Once again, you've seen him. 🎥 Who is my muse’s celebrity crush?

I don't think he has one. He has a very real world crush. 🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know? 💍 Has my muse ever had a one-night stand?

Who hasn't? His virginal son Raleigh hasn't, that's who. 💝 Does my muse like Valentine’s Day?

Actually he does. Not because he enjoys gifts or candy. He enjoys being the one to bestow gifts on a partner and take extraordinary measures to please them 💘 What are the ways my muse says ‘I love you’ without actually saying it?

Listening. Not offering advice or opinions. Just being present in the moment for needed comfort and support.

[sharkface-daydreams]

Hello this a long shot call, am a citizen of Palestine. I am here to request for your support to help get my insulin (Humalog), just an injection for today to save my life please I beg.I was diagnosized with type 1 diabetes and due to current situation in Gaza I'm unable to get my insulin injection as a result I'm here begging for little financial support to help me purchase insulin for this week. Am sorry if am sending you again this request, kindly donate any amount please. My donation link is in my pinned post🇵🇸

yeah it's gonna be a long shot bc this is a scam with copypasta lol

followers please be aware:

please take a look at these screenshots from different blogs at different times. (two posts i searched for and the 3rd is from this blog's pinned) if a fundraiser is actually vetted/verified it will say by who and will usually have been reblogged by that person, or will link to a post where it's verified

actual Palestinians will typically have a custom user url often with their name, but these ones with three random words smashed together are defaults Tumblr offers when you make a blog. i assume someone making probably hundreds of these blogs to post the same scam message doesn't have the time to make up hundreds of actual names.

besides all that, you should familiarize yourself with the text of the post and look for suspicious "tells" in the way it's written. claims to be vetted/verified but doesn't say by who, uses the same copy pasted text about needing insulin, word for word (i found the other posts by searching a whole paragraph in quotes).

also scroll down on the blog-usually these blogs are only a few days old and will have reblogged posts that are in popular tags first and then Palestine-related tags most recently. they usually will not have even reblogged their own "donation" post

finally, the link goes to a paypal instead of a go fund me. now that's not a red flag by itself, I'm not sure what money transfer programs are most easily used in Palestine, but generally real people tend to list what their handle is on the platform (ie, paypal - "Username", cashapp - "$username" etc). again not a red flag by itself but combined with all this other shady shit it looks suspicious as hell

anyway! keep an eye out. if you're overwhelmed by trying to figure out if something is legit, you can always just go to gazafunds.com (<- clickable link) instead, they'll have a verified campaign highlighted that needs more attention and donations 👍

[zerobaseonefics]

so basically i applied to 4 in england 1 in poland and 1 in france since i dont want to live in germany anymore and yes im still fighting over my scholarship or something so its pretty stressful

NO FAKE SISTERS ANYMORE😜😜😜

valid reason. make sure to tell me about such things next time tho🙄🙄

yes i just had a lot of nail polish but thank you🤭

NO I UNDERSTAND YOU SO MUCH OMG LIKE NO CUZ I DONT WANNA SAY ANYTHING BUT CHOOSE ME PICK ME CHOKE ME STEP ON ME (im sorry) but real talk im so happy that you love enhypen and seventeen too😭🫶

IM NOT SO SURE BECAUSE IVE LITERALLY SEARCHED EVERYWHERE FOR IT AND I ONLY FIND FAKE ONES.. i think i eill buy the weverse version cuz at least then i will get heeseung or jake 👲

HSHSHSGSHAG THAT SOUBFS SO TRAGIC IM DORRY FOR YOU BSHSHSH IM word for not spending MONEY NOW FOR THE FACTIRY!!!

omg yes youre so smart like i didnt think about it😮😮😮😮 lovu so much u dont even know;;;;; i hate tutoring them tho they are so stupid

HSHSHSHA AND YES IM ALREADY TEACHING HIM WHAT YHE BEST MUSIC IS AND ALL THE CLOTHES HE HAS ARE FRIM ME🤭🤭

my heartbreak is magically leaving me now cuz youre so right about hes not heejayke🤪🤪🤪

NO CUZ YES LIKE HOW ARE THEY DOING IT😭😭 THIS IS SO WTF CUZ YOU ARE SO RIGHT AGAIN

HAHAHA I ALSO NEVER VOTE FOR THEM OR ANYTHING LIKE WHY SHOULD I DO THAT LOL THERE ARE PLENTY OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THAT SO EHY SHOULD I??

YES HSHSHSGS ALL THANKS TO RICKY

I NEED TO LISTEN TO IT SHOW ME SHOW ME SHOW MEEEEE AND I NEED TO SEE YOU WAACKINH ONE DAY

i like big feet in shoes inly cuz it makes me feel petite😭👍 i have a shoe size 36 (eu) (at about 168cm height) (btw how tall are you i didnt ask i think) and i think that im too tall so i like everything that is bigger than me👲👍 btw i hate feet like they disgust me so much you dobt even know (but i like feet in shoes)

me so interesting and funny 😂!!😂!!😂!! everything aside::: thank you😜😜😜🫶🫶🫶 lovely to hear that icl…

AY FR LIKE HOW DOES JAKE LOOK SO GOOD WTF?? I FEEL LIKE IM DROOLING EVERYTIMR I SEE HIM.. not normal man

wait until you see this😂!!😂!!😂!!😂!!😂!! (btw 2 of ! mean the red !! emoji i just cant find it)

about 10000 pins with enhypen

WDYM THEY WONT LISTEN TO POCS???? BRO I HATE THE POLIVE THERE (btw in paris there was such a hot black police officer like maaaan bro was stunning)

YES TELL ME EHY YOU STARTED WAACKING I BEGGGGGGGGGGGGG🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

happy to see that you also love p1harmony!!!!!!!!! whos your bias???? mines are intak and theo🤭🤭🤭

ohhh that's so cool that you're going overseas!!! do you know anyone in these countries? (except for poland since u told me your family lives there)

BYE PURE STAND UP THESE ARE MEN YOU CAN'T BE DOWN BAD LIKE THIS FOR MEN

ngl i learnt that recently too 💀 but fr random things like that can be put on your resume, they also appreciate knowing you do things like sports or music, or caricative actions... so yeah even small works like this count!

LITERALLY THIS IS HOW I THINK WHY WOULD I DO THAT??? OTHER WILL DO IT ANYWAYS. plus im sorry i don't need to be doing all that for my favs like... they provide me music i provide them money by listening, i don't need to be giving them more..........

tutoring really is hell especially when you suck at explaining things 😭 you can be very strong in something but have no clue how to teach it, and you also have to be patient cuz the person might not understand right away.. yeah i hate it

here's my cover of over me!! it's with my big sister. just so you can know when i sing, i'm the one who starts the song and i have the deeper voice. she's not very confident with her singing and that's my i sing most of the song and do all the adlibs 💀

I'LL SHOW YOU MY WAACKING THE DAY I'LL BE GOOD ENOUGH AT IT ‼️ I'M STILL A BEGINNER YK

ofc i love p1h 🤭 my bias is keeho

[dawngel]

Thank you @flinxypie for tagging me 🙏 <333! I love these things \o/!!

Alright, so!

> Do you play an instrument?

I whistle a lot, does that count?

I do not play any instruments mmh... I did a long time ago though! I used to play the piano (my grandma taught me) and the flute (school) and they were fun! I also thought about learning how to play the violin but it’s a huge time & money investment and it wasn’t a priority so in the end I didn’t :P

Still! it sounds fun and I admire people who know how to play instruments ‘cause uff they take a lot of practice and time to master---

> Favorite book characters? 

Mmmmh... Usually most books that I read are not books that have fandoms around them so I had never thought about this, honestly---

I can say that I really liked “The House in the Cerulean Sea” and that its characters are all very cute and wholesome! Other than that, I’m not sure? 🤔

> What's your star sign? 

Aquarius and Piscis

---yes, both

Depending on where you look my birthday up it’s one or the other, so I just decided to take that and RUN WITH IT and say that they’re both my sign lol

It’s fun to tell people, you get all sort of responses!

> Favorite color schemes? 

This is very appropiate and amusing to me; the colors of the sky when the sun is rising- in other words, dawn’s colors :P

So, basically, yellows, oranges, pinks, purples (A+)

>> It’s not because it’s my name, but it’s a fun coincidence, don’t you think? c:

I also ADORE dark blue with rich gold- I cannot resist that color combination

Aaaaand last but not least, purple/pink & green (my partner’s and I’s color combination)

> Naps or Long Sleep? 

I always recommend taking naps, especially if I see a friend being tired or feeling sick- (resting is really important! (+sometimes you cannot get a full night’s rest so it’s vital to relax and take a break when you can))

---However I will never say no to a long sleep, omg, it’s the best like 🙏 yes please thank you

> What languages do you speak? 

Spanish and Catalan (native) 💪

English (fluent) 👍

German & French (the MOST BASIC LEVEL YOU CAN THINK OF- I AM SERIOUS---- Although I’m considering continuing French, who knows, we’ll see ¯⁠\⁠⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠⁠/⁠¯)

> Dreams/Aspirations? 

I’m working on starting a youtube channel! Everything’s been planned, I just have to finish the model! yes, it will be a Vtuber channel :P honestly the whole process of making it is incredibly fun- I love it!

I will do horror related things, but shhh 👁️🤫

> Long or Short Hair? 

My hair is currently long, longer than in my “Meet the Artist” post, but it’s only because it’s winter. Honestly, when I get it cut, it will be much shorter than in that post too, but I thought it was a good compromise between reality and what I want it to look like, you know?

Regardless, I prefer shorter hair for myself c:

> Tea or Coffee? 

Probably tea, although I’m not really the biggest fan of it either! i just like drinking water 🤷‍♀️

If I had coffee, it’d be with milk and sugar- then I *do* like it <333

> Bring a fictional character to life or go into a fictional world?

I find it really fun to think about how I would survive in different fictional worlds, with the knowledge I have about them and while trying to make sure the characters in that universe don’t realise that I’m not supoused to be there.

Taking that into account, I’ll say... probably bring a fictional character to this world lol

Like, it’s super fun to think about going to a fictional world but there are SO MANY things that need to be taken into account, so many things that could go wrong and so many dangerous things, just--- most of us would not do well, trust me hahaha (at least in the fictional worlds I’m thinking of lmao)

No pressure tag 😊❤️

@yakamashi-ao3 @illydna​ ​

Wanna get to know my tumblr friends better cuz y'all are dope so have a tag game challenge if you want :)

Also, if you don’t wanna answer anything you don’t need to.

♫Do you play an instrument?

•Favourite book characters?

•What’s your star sign?

•Favourite colour schemes?

•Naps or long sleep?

•What languages do you speak?

•Dreams/aspirations?

•Long hair or Short Hair?

•Tea or coffee?

•Bring a book character to life or go into a fictional world?

No pressure tags: @thebestieyoureinlovewith @nikolaistealcoat @grishaverse-chaos @lostinfantasyworldsbi @lilisouless @l3st1b0urn3s-707 @arany-studio @waluigicumjar

[kokokabana]

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞

✧ Austin Russo and Damien Jones ✧ prisoner ✧ interests: reading, foodie, fitness, parties, technology, dancing, true crime, travel, drinks, romance, volunteering, adrenaline, sex

Oh no… my Kryptonite. Hot bad boys who lost hope to ever find love until they meet you where they realize that there is someone out there who is by their side no matter what for which they show their gratitude by offering a soft, romantic side only they get to see.

« 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

✧-✧-✧

How to read this guide

The choices are portrayed like this: A | B. The one in bold or with an exclamation mark gets you (the most) affection.

Sometimes both choices work! They get you a different dialogue from your match, but you or they give the same amount of emoji reactions, balancing everything out.

Make sure to equip the interest that is about to be unlocked when you fill up that relationship bar! That gives you 15 additional gems. Don’t accept the gems and close the app when you haven’t already.

Message me or comment below if you found something else!

✧-✧-✧

Chat History

#1 Texting

✧ Chill out! | Sorry…

✧ nobody’s really asked me that before → 🤔 | 😮!

✧ My hobby is flirting! | My favorite hobbies are always changing.

✧ it’s cool, glad we have something in common → 😎 | 🥹!

✧ 1st CG for 180 💎 -> 🔥! | 😍

-> filled up relationship bar 1x

✧-✧-✧

#2 Texting

✧ You’re impossible… | Yeah, kinda.

✧ Very cool | Pretending to know what that means...

✧ 2nd CG for 300 💎 -> 🥹! | 😊

✧ oh you like to play with my words? -> 🍆! | 😈

✧-✧-✧

#3 Texting

✧ I think people are truly good at heart. | I can only speak for myself.

✧ Oh! I really like it! | Interesting…

✧ there’s more where that came from! -> 👏 | 🎉!

✧-✧-✧

#4 Texting

✧ 3rd CG for 300 💎

✧-✧-✧

#5 Texting

✧ I missed you SO much!! | New phone who dis

✧ More about your dad! (gem scene for 120 💎) | Any other family?

✧ i got none -> 😭! | 😮

✧-✧-✧

#6 Texting

✧ it doesn’t help that I already got a spicy temper -> 🌶! | 😐

✧ You can always change! | Try to be cautious, not cold.

✧-✧-✧

#7 Texting

✧ Feeling really good! | Feeling a little lonely… -> i was looking forward to talking to you all day… 💏! | 👍

OR (no choose the first one!!!)

✧ Feeling really good! | Feeling a little lonely… -> why don’t you go see them -> 😭! | 😐

✧ Nobody’s perfect! | How bad could it be?

✧-✧-✧

#8 Texting

✧ Please tell me you’re rich! | There’s more to life than money…

✧-✧-✧

#9 Texting

✧ You don’t really hate your family, do you? | I don’t like my family either… -> no decisive choice but I like his response for the second choice

✧ Bennie is the reason i’m on death row 👎 -> 😱! | ☹️

✧-✧-✧

#10 Texting

✧ Yes, of course I’ll still talk to you. (gem choice for 120 💎) | You’re on DEATH ROW… -> 1 screen of fluff but more for boost

✧ Quit lying to me! | If you say it’s true, I believe you.

✧-✧-✧

#11 Texting

✧ woke up with the gun in my hand and the cops in my face… -> 🫢! | 😫

✧-✧-✧

#12 Texting

✧ 5th CG for 300 💎

✧ and no – according to the cops, the jury, the judge... -> 😭! | 👎

✧ Not a bad idea, I love learning about true crime! | Can I just study your lips instead?

✧-✧-✧

#13 Texting

✧ it’s your fault 😬 -> 😘! | 😬

-> this must be my favorite part omg TIME STOPS? PB AND J?!!?!? HELLO SOMEBODY TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS

✧-✧-✧

#14 Texting

✧ you’re already helping by just talking 🙂 -> 😘! | 👍 

✧ It’s worth the risk 😘 | I can handle myself 😎

✧-✧-✧

#15 Texting

✧ 6th CG for 300 💎

✧ What if I had actually lost you?! | You should have killed them 😐

✧ if you actually lost me, then you’d remember the good times we had 😊 -> 🥹! | 🙂

✧-✧-✧

#16 Texting

✧ Embarrassed much? | There’s no going back now! TELL!!

✧ it was just kinda intense -> 🔥! | 😳

✧ OMG YAAASSS, that’s so hot!! | That’s kinda strange…

✧ 7th CG for 300 💎

✧-✧-✧

#17 Texting

✧ i wasn’t expecting that... -> 😈! | 🙄

✧-✧-✧

#18 Texting

✧ Finally getting desperate? | Yay, revenge!!

✧ i don’t need to hurt him, i just need evidence -> 🙄! | ☹️

✧ What did you see?? | I’ve had a near death experience too! -> no decisive choice but he tells you his most important memories. also this is not about MC stop always trying to be in the spotlight lmao

✧ Can’t we be a little spontaneous? | Of course – this is serious business!

✧ PROMISE me you won’t go after Bennie yet! -> 😈 | 👍!

✧-✧-✧

#19 Texting

✧ That’s fucking disgusting! | I’d HAPPILY pat you down 😊 -> no decisive choice but hey, nothing against sexting

✧ I think I found Bennie. Does this look familiar? (gem choice for 120 💎) | I can’t do this… I need to go. -> only for boost and 8th CG which will be added later

✧-✧-✧

#20 Texting

✧ and now there’s nothing i can do to save you 😭 -> 🥹 | 💋!

✧ The one and only 😎 | Last time I checked…

✧ I’ve never seen you that scared 😏 | You should have more confidence in me! -> i’d be fucking devastated if Bennie killed you too!! -> 🥺 | ❤️!

OR (no the first one’s cuter)

✧ I’ve never seen you that scared 😏 | You should have more confidence in me! -> it’s a little difficult when you don’t listen to me 🙄 -> 😈! | 😐

✧ Almost – but I’m fine. | As if 😎

✧ Of course, I know how much it meant to you! (gem choice for 150 💎) | Lucky guess 😉 -> only boost but anything for Austin

✧ LOL I guess it runs in the family 😏 | I can’t really blame him!

✧-✧-✧

#21 Texting

✧ it looked like you said Bennie’s taking you out on a date 😂 -> 🤢! | 🫢

✧ That’s about the gist of it 😬 | It’s even funnier because it’s true!

✧ clothing item 🎁 (black jeans for 170)

✧ PLEASE wait until i’m back before you head out so we can actually make a plan this time!! -> ❤️! | 👍

✧-✧-✧

#22 Texting

✧ Okay, I’ll bring a knife to the date. (gem choice for 180 💎) | Seriously? I’ll be fine…

-> if this works, I’ll buy you some knee knives, a new kitchen, and become your personal chef 😜 -> 😍! | 👍 (AAAAAHHHHHH)

OR

✧ Okay, I’ll bring a knife to the date. (gem choice for 180 💎) | Seriously? I’ll be fine…

-> OMG… i meant to defend yourself! -> 👏! | 😬

✧-✧-✧

#23 Texting & First Date

Nothing.

✧-✧-✧

#24 Texting

Nothing.

✧-✧-✧

#25 Texting

✧ goodbye -> ☹️ | 😭!

✧ OMG I’m so sorry, I was running and missed your texts!! (gem choice for 150 💎) | Wait. I’m going to re-read the texts you just sent -> only for boost

✧-✧-✧

#26 Texting

✧ He almost did... | Nope, I’m a boss 😎

✧ Of course, you’ll be free in no time! | Don’t get your hopes up 😬

✧ i’m speechless - you stuck by me this whole time! -> 😘! | 👍

✧-✧-✧

#27 Texting

✧ Great, he’s cracked... | That was so beautiful!

✧ I love you too! (gem choice for 150 💎) | Austin, you’re not making sense. -> AAAHHHHHHHH

✧ you read my mind! that’s how i feel too!! -> 💏 | ❤️!

✧ Oh, it was nothing | Fuck YAAAAAAAASSS!!

✧ you’ve done more than enough, but i’ll DEFINITELY dream of you tonight -> 🍆! | 😏

✧-✧-✧

Full Relationship Bar

-> depending on many gem scenes you bought, you will get the dialogue with this 9th CG sooner or later once you filled up the bar 4 times

✧-✧-✧

#28 Texting

✧ now there’s a manhunt for Bennie and another trial later -> 🥂! | 👍

✧ You owe me one! | Eh, don’t mention it. -> gets you 🫢

✧ I am pretty good at solving mysteries! | Too dangerous for my taste 😬 -> gets you 😂

✧-✧-✧

#29 Texting

✧ i’m in GRAVE danger -> 🫢! | 😐

✧ Try to calm down 😮 | I’ve never seen you this worried before!

✧ Time to man-up! | Okay, that’s a BIG problem!

✧ i’m trying!! -> 🙏 | ❤️!

✧ 10th CG for 300 💎

✧ i love you -> 😍! | 🥹

✧-✧-✧

#30 Texting

✧ long time no talk 😎 -> 😍! | 😳

✧ OMG... I’m SO happy to hear from you! | Sorry, already moved on 😜

✧ 11th CG for 300 💎

✧ Bennie was released from jail -> 💔! | 😱

✧ The justice system is failing you | I’m still optimistic

✧-✧-✧

#31 Texting

✧ WTF?! | Tell me you’re okay

✧ he knows it was you who helped me try to get him locked up -> 😬 | 😱!

✧ i said no one better lay a finger on you i lost control and swung -> 🫢 | 😍!

✧ You defended me 😍 | Don’t make a bad situation worse

✧ Wish I could be there to help heal those bruises faster | I’m sure I could take you down with the right maneuver 😏

✧ I’m on, guide away ❤️ (gem choice for 150 💎) | Think I’ll pass -> just 4.5 screens of fluff, mostly from MCs side, not really worth it

✧-✧-✧

#32 Texting

✧ As about as relaxed as I can be with a target on my back | I’m finding solace in knowing I have your support

✧ u should know im prepared to do whatever it takes to keep you safe -> 🥹! | 😍

✧ You’re the only innocent one between the two of us 😈 (gem choice for 150 💎) I feel the same about you -> 4 screens of judge-plaintiff role play huh… not my thing

✧ Yes, but it’s always worth repeating | Awwww you’re so sweet. Totally made my day!

✧ tbh, sometimes, i think i love you more than i love myself -> 😍! | 🫢

✧-✧-✧

#33 Texting

Nothing.

✧-✧-✧

#34 Texting

✧ I always have time for you ❤️ | Oh no! You sound worried...

✧ but Bennie has pull with multiple prison gangs- including this one -> 😱! | 😭

✧ We’re both in this together | I’m an adult

✧ You have no clue how much I actually care about you, do you? | I don’t half-ass relationships 😜

✧ no way you care about me more than care about you -> 😘 | 😂!

✧ Prove it to me then! (gem choice for 150 💎) | LOL it’s ok, I believe u -> 100000% worth it, see my reaction here

✧ free clothing item 🎁 (black bracelet with gold plate)

✧-✧-✧

#35 Texting & Actual First Date

✧ as it turns out. it has video settings. i’m about to video call you! -> 🎉! | 🫢

✧ OMG! YES! PLEASE! | Now? I’m kind of nervous

✧ Umm, absolutely! Serenade me! (gem choice for 180 💎) | This is too dangerous! Maybe you should hang up

-> I was dying because of how romantic it is. He freestyles a poem for you and you add your own verses, I’m crying

✧ Besides, I got to see you in my bracelet, and that was worth it -> 🥹 | 💋! (gift-related)

✧ Yes- but it’s for you so l don’t care how insane it sounds | I can’t let u keep getting attacked before the trial

✧ Remember why I’m taking this risk | Save those breaths for when our lips me

✧ I promise you I’ll be careful | You won’t lose me

✧ you were worth every second. -> 🥹 | 😍!

✧-✧-✧

#36 Texting & Third Date

✧ tonight’s the night -> 😈! | 😱

✧ Is anyone ever ready to break and enter? | I’ve actually been looking forward to this

✧ Kick Bennie in the balls (gem choice for 210 💎) | Beg Bennie not to hurt you

-> idk if Bennie knowing it was you or not will have actual impact on the rest of the story, but that should’ve been a 120 gem choice on gem rush

✧-✧-✧

#37 Texting

✧ I’m still shaken up a bit but I’ll survive | Forget me, what happened with the guard?

✧ i spent all morning bribing a guard to give it back -> 🫢 | 🥹!

✧ Here you go. Do you think you can decipher this? (gem choice for 180 💎) | It’s probably nothing, I’ll throw it away

-> 12th CG

-> emotional background about him. Relatively short but very touching

✧ Now I’m really interested | This is SO frustrating!

✧ silver lining - must be something worth hiding on there for sure -> 👍 | 🥂!

✧-✧-✧

#38 Texting

✧ The risk was more than worth it | Now, all we have to do is get into that phone

✧ i can’t allow you to do something so risky -> 😬! | 🙄

✧ No risk, no reward! | I’ve thought it through and i’ve decided you’re worth it.

-> no decisive decision but he calls you sei thing I’d like to hear more of that

✧ as if i don’t think about that every single moment of every single day -> 😏! | 🥹

✧ If you knew the things that cross my mind… 🍆🍑💦😈 | I just want to touch you

✧ Let’s indulge in my fantasy. (gem choice for 180 💎) | I’m sure you can use your imagination

✧-✧-✧

#39 Texting & Fourth Date

✧ I’m relieved to hear that actually | That’s it? You had me worried for nothing!

✧ There has to be | Try to be more optimistic

✧ It WON’T happen again | We’ll cross that bridge when and if we come to it

✧ Sure! I’ll call you and tell you! (gem choice for 180 💎) | Can’t right now. I’ll just text it

-> only for boost

✧ i’m so damn happy you’re going to be here -> 😘 | ❤️!

✧-✧-✧

#40 Texting & Fifth Date

✧ I only have eyes for you 😘 | Yep- and you can find us ganging out in cell-block ‘D’ 🍆 💦

✧ i need to see your face right now -> 🫢 | 🥹!

✧ Yeah. Ring me. (gem choice for 180 💎) | Let’s just keep texting

-> generic sweet talk, cut short very fast. only for boost

✧-✧-✧

#41 Texting

to be played and to 100% to be finished this is my absolute fav storyline and fav match :3

[rumpsalt]

Please tell me about your Plastic Man x Riddler crackship. Please, I never knew I needed this.

of course!

It originally stemmed from this pannel from the 2018 Plastic Man comics where Plas works at a strip club:

So I, naturally figured "this is silly, what if I made them interact"

but then the more I looked into their characters I noticed the more that they kind of complimented one another, in personality and traits. them being two characters that were never really ever given substantial love interests that cared about them, I immediately latched onto the idea of the two of them. Superficially with this "complimentary" thing, I thought it was a funny coincidence that their suit colour schemes are complimentary. Red and green. Yellow and purple.

if we move on to the personalities/ story lines:

- both have been known to do detective work & with Eel's criminal background and Ed's skill for private investigator type jobs, it's a big potential bonding point

- sometimes Eel is easily impressed, or at least expresses awe more freely & Edward absolutely loves having his ego stroked, Eel would do that constantly

- in most "rehabilitation" comics with Ed, he's often babysat and not taken seriously, but Eel isn't someone that'd treat him that way

- both are eccentric in their actions & expressions of self and I think that'd blend nicely

- they both have generally pathetic love lives and I think it'd be funny to see them fumble around each other

- in most situations (the 2018 Plas comic mostly) Eel denies himself worthy of being with someone because of what he's done & who he was in the past, but with Eddie, he still may feel that way but it doesn't really matter because they've both done bad things and deserve one another & can potentially hold one another in line at least to an extent

- between Plastic Man's constant dumb jokes & puns and the Riddler's riddles I just feel like they'd click

- this one's kinda loose, but I feel like their relationship wouldn't be inhibiting at all to either of them, because Eel really wouldn't care what Eddie does unless people are getting hurt and Ed's (mostly) a fairly harmless villian + even if he's a "hero" Eel's more of a vigilante, and he's still greedy, and you know that if money's involved in something he's gonna end up stealing some just because that's who he is

- they're both clearly bisexual, come on

also to add, not really a reason I've come to ship them, but I have a little headcanon that Eel would buy Eddie a bunch of little puzzle and riddle books, like sudoku, crosswords, cryptograms & forensic mysteries and such, and Eddie really appreciates the gesture, but he flies through them like crazy

for the most part that's what I based them off of ! it's kinda hard to get my exact thoughts to words, and not all of them are there, but in general that's what it is!

I'm sorry it's so long & I infodumped so much, but, truly thank you for asking!! I appreciate it & I'm glad to hear you like it ! 😁👍

If you have any more questions, I'm open to answering/explaining :)

[bowl-of-shortness]

Prompt:

If you could even begin to comprehend where I've come from. You would be terrified of me.

Thought maybe for Necromancer AU but you can choose 👍

(I couldn’t see where this would fit in the N! Au HOWEVER, altered chronicles works well 👀)

“If you could even begin to comprehend where I’ve come from, headmaster, well, you’d be terrified of me.”

The voice was mocking, cocky, and gravelly. Ozpin sat tied to a chair, rope binding him tightly. He was inside of a tent, well furnished with necessities and more.

He was inside the tribe chief’s tent.

The former headmaster stared hard and coldly at his kidnapper, a tall man in tribal wear, black hair, tawny and scarred skin, and a nevermore helmet disguising the man’s identity. The tribe chief was crouched in front of him as he taunted and mocked Ozpin.

Ozpin scoffed in response to his comment, “As if.”

“Oh?”

“You take me as a fool, how ignorant of you. I have seen more bloodshed and death in a days time than you have seen in your entire existence.”

“Hmmm, and how would you know? How would you know that you’ve seen more than I have.”

“Because I am not most people. And it has been proven time and time again that I am the only one who has seen that much decimation. So tell me, how do you know that you aren’t like everyone else, Chief?” The title rolled off his tongue with venom and purposeful emphasis.

“Oooo.” The chief laughed, “I knew you trained hunters but I never knew you were as feisty as some of them. Who knows, keep it up and I might just not kill you.”

Ozpin raised an eyebrow at this, questioning the others intent

“See, here’s the thing councilman, people would pay millions to have your head, and my tribe needs money.”

The chief sighs, Ozpin can hear his smile through the mask, “However councilman, we’re thieves after all, selfish. And you’re adorable. I mean, I thought the headmaster of Beacon Academy was a cutie when I saw you on the media, but lords you are way cuter in person. So, I might just keep you to myself if you’re good.”

He clenched his jaw, did he really see him that way? “Adorable” wasn’t a word that Ozpin would describe himself as but it’s what this man thought, it gave him mixed feelings.

But, if this man truly likes him, it could be his one chance of being let go.

“So if I pay you a fair sum of money, you will do something for me?”

The noirett cocked his head to the side, chuckling deeply “You makin’ a deal? What’s the deal?”

“I will tell you and your tribe about everything you need to know about the war, you will agree to fight in it if you see the price fit.“

“And in return for us?”

Ozpin swallows hard, “I will pay your tribe any reasonable amount you want, and……you can make any attempt you want to try and ‘woo’ me into your favor…..”

He laughed, “What a deal! Well then, deals settled. So, councilman, if my men and I are gonna be working with you and the kiddies, we should get to know each other. So, let’s start with introductions.”

The chief takes off his nevermore mask, revealing long, messy, black hair, two large scars across his face, and crimson eyes. He gives Ozpin a sharp and crooked smile.

“My name is Qrow Branwen.”