#in my defense someone else literally took them out of the hiding spot and left them sitting out for anyone to have

[lightleapfan]

i was going to make a funny little post for april fools day but i literally could not do anything today because i accidentally ate two of my dads weed cookies from the freezer and my entire afternoon was spent in the floridaland dreamscape trying to harvest mana from the ultraviolet spectrum

[thebiscuiteternal]

“Paper Scraps”

Post-Canon, Angst, Hurt/Comfort...ish?, Reconciliation, Discussion of Suicidal Ideation, Ghosts, Implied Sangyu, Mo Xuanyu Gets To Be Mourned, Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang Are Going Through It

Series Link on Ao3

__________

"To what do I owe the surprise visit?'' Nie Huaisang asks, and his voice is so devoid of emotion that Wei Wuxian has to bite back a shudder, suddenly very much aware that he is treading in completely new and potentially dangerous territory.

Nie-xiong is as dead as his beloved elder brother, and the Headshaker was nothing more than a mask. All that's left now is Nie-zongzhu, whom he knows nothing about and threatened the last time they actually spoke to each other in person.

Still, he sucks up his nerve and plasters on one of his usual careless smiles. "We need to talk, you and I. Just you and I."

"Wei Ying-"

He holds up a hand to cut off Lan Zhan's protest. "How about it?"

"And what, exactly, do you think there is for us to discuss, Wei-xiansheng? Have I not been behaving well enough for your liking?"

Ouch.

"Okay, I deserved that," Wei Wuxian says as he waves off his defensive husband and friend a second time, suddenly wishing he'd just snuck out and come alone.

Then again, that probably wouldn't have gone well either, judging by the wary looks he keeps getting from the handful of Nie disciples who linger defensively near their sect leader.

Okay... okay. No more trying to joke around. He takes a deep breath and lets it out, then straightens his back. "I'm here about Mo Xuanyu."

Nie Huaisang’s face betrays nothing, but the fan in his hand snaps shut with enough force that it's audible throughout the room. “Everyone, please escort our other two guests to the main gardens so that we may speak privately.”

“Zongzhu-” one massive bear of a man starts to protest.

At the same time Lan Zhan moves in front of Wei Wuxian to growl “We are not going anywhere,” and the tension in the room ratchets sharply to hair-on-end levels as the situation threatens to turn into a standoff.

Wei Wuxian pinches the bridge of his nose to stave off a building headache, then reaches out in an attempt to tug his husband back. “Lan Zhan. I’m the one who requested a one-on-one meeting, remember? Literally just now?”

“He cannot be truste-”

“Wei-gongzi, he might-”

“Enough,” Nie Huaisang snaps, the unexpected whip-crack of his voice making them all, a few disciples included, jump. “Let me remind all three of you that you came here and none of you are required to stay. In fact, today would be much improved if you didn’t.”

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian hisses.

Lan Zhan doesn’t budge, hand still tight on the hilt of Bichen. “If you harm Wei Ying-”

“Yes, yes, you and the Ghost General will cut me open and hang me with my own entrails just to start with,” Nie Huaisang replies irritably, giving a dismissive wave of the closed fan. “I’m well aware.”

Judging by the startled and utterly appalled looks that cross Lan Zhan and Wen Ning’s faces, that had decidedly not been on the list of options of what they might potentially do. But the descriptive suggestion does work to knock them off guard, and Wei Wuxian bites his tongue hard to keep his expression neutral as the two of them are herded out without any more fuss after Nie Huaisang makes a short gesture to his disciples. “You did that on purpose.”

Nie Huaisang turns without responding to the jibe at all and walks off towards another door.

Ouch again.

He trots after the other man and falls into step beside him as they enter a hallway that’s clearly not for public use. Part of him wants to ask where they’re going, if just to break the uncomfortable silence, but he keeps his mouth shut.

They finally stop at a door that, when Nie Huaisang slides it open, leads to a tiny garden so deep in the sect's keep that the back wall of it is cut into the mountain itself.

And in that little carved out cave, shielded from wind and rain and snow, sits a funeral tablet on a table shrine.

Wei Wuxian involuntarily sucks a sharp breath through his teeth at the sight of it, his hand coming up to clutch at his chest. Guilt wells up hot and stinging and bitter in his stomach, then higher into his throat. Dizzy, he sways on his feet and is only vaguely aware of the hands that catch him.

Once his resurrection had been revealed, everyone simply accepted him as “Wei Wuxian”, not “Wei-Wuxian-In-Mo-Xuanyu’s-Body”, seemingly having just... forgotten that the face he has now once belonged to someone else. He had grown so settled into this body that until the dreams had begun, he had barely given Mo Xuanyu a second thought.

But right at this moment, staring at the name carved into that tablet, held up by the one person left who had remembered- had loved the original owner of this body enough to memorialize him, he has never felt more like an invader in it.

His vision, gone fuzzy from the sickening torrent of emotion, slowly begins to come back into focus and, for just a moment, he is staring through Mo Xuanyu’s eyes into the worried expression of Nie-xiong before the lingering memory clears to the more neutral face of Nie-zongzhu.

He is on the ground, his head in the man’s lap, and the sudden urge to cry hits him hard. “Do you hate me?” he asks without meaning to, voice coming out plaintive and half-strangled by his effort to hold back the tears.

“You were the one who decided there was nothing left between us worth salvaging.”

“I did. And it was stupid. But that’s not what I mean, and you know it. Do you hate me for having this face?”

There is a pause, then a quiet sigh. “No, I don’t.”

“Why?”

“If it wasn’t you, it would be someone else. Or something else. Yu-er was…”

Nie Huaisang turns his head away, expression softening into a complicated mix sadness and pain, and Wei Wuxian finds himself thinking that while ‘his’ Nie-xiong might be dead, Mo Xuanyu’s Nie-xiong might still exist somewhere deep under the protective layers of Nie-zongzhu.

He swallows hard, then makes himself sit up and looks again at the tablet and its small offerings.

“Determined,” he says quietly, finishing the sentence. A tiny wet laugh bubbles out of his throat. “I thought… I really did believe that you had forced him into it,” he continues, and in the edge of his vision, he sees Nie Huaisang flinch at the accusation. “But no. No. He... really was determined to see it out to the end.”

“How do you-”

“Ah.” He scratches his cheek, then scoots to face the other man. “That’s actually the reason I needed to talk to you. I’ve been seeing- fuck, dreaming his memories, I guess… though they were more like nightmares, considering what was in them-”

“Wait,” Nie Huaisang says, holding up a hand. “When did this start?”

“Mmh. Just a little over ten months ago, I think? Or maybe closer to eleven. The first one was of your visit right after his mother died.”

Nie Huaisang goes slightly pale at that, though whether it’s from the admission of the length of time or the contents of the memory, Wei Wuxian can’t tell.

He gets an answer when Nie Huaisang gets up and rushes to the table, returning with something carefully cradled in his hands.

It’s a spirit pouch.

His hands are shaking as he holds them out to accept the tiny burden, and he’s vaguely aware that he’s gaping like a fish. “Huaisang…” he chokes out when he finally manages to find his voice again, but that’s as far as he gets.

“I… have studied a lot of ways of finding and contacting the dead,” Nie Huaisang says, and Wei Wuxian nods along numbly because that makes a ridiculous amount of sense, given the circumstances. “I know what the ritual notes said, but seeing that there was still something left of Da-ge after everything that had been done to him…”

He reaches out and touches the pouch and Wei Wuxian finds himself thinking of a gentle hand ruffling his (but not his) hair.

“I’m just sorry it took me two years to get up the nerve to go looking.”

But you went, Wei Wuxian thinks. You went.

He’d never even considered it. It had never crossed his mind at all.

“Eleven months ago, right?” he asks, voice still a little squeaky.

“Mm-hmm. I should have written to you about this long before now, but it seemed like every time I’d prepared myself to send the letter, something would happen that would remind me that… well.”

That we’re not friends anymore.

That you want nothing to do with me.

Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and rests his hands in his lap, still holding the pouch as if it’s made of porcelain instead of cloth. “I probably wouldn’t have read it,” he confesses quietly. “Or I would have, but I wouldn’t have believed you. I would have thought it was a ruse, a setup-” A tiny, wounded laugh escapes his mouth and he tilts his head back to stare up at the sky. “Maybe that’s why I started having the dreams. His way of telling me I’m an idiot.”

“A little drastic on his part if it was.”

“Can’t say it wasn’t necessary.” The pouch gives a jangling, discordant little hum when he pets it, the fracturing of the soul within vastly different from what he’d felt from Xiao Xingchen. The pieces feel smaller and fewer, yet heavier. “Oh,” he murmurs when he realizes why.

“Oh?”

“The array was designed to consume the resentment of the caster based on negative memories of the person or persons they wanted to curse. That’s why the memories of you and the flashes of his mother were so vivid when the rest of them weren’t. That’s why you were able to find these pieces. He really did see you two as the only bright spots in his life, so those memories were spared.”

Nie Huaisang makes a choked noise in the back of his throat, and when Wei Wuxian turns his head, the other man is looking away in a clear attempt to hide his expression. “He was wrong.”

“A year ago, I would have agreed,” Wei Wuxian mumbles. “After everything he showed me, though… I don’t think he was. I get it.”

He takes a deep breath. He has never talked about this, not with Lan Zhan, not with Wen Ning, and certainly not with Jiang Cheng, even if they are taking tentative baby steps towards being less awkward around each other. He’s not sure he should be talking about it with Nie Huaisang either, but-

“I know what it’s like, just wanting everything to end. Deciding the whole world can go to hell. Maybe I didn’t intend for the backlash from breaking the seal to kill me, but I sure didn’t fucking care what it would do to me one way or another. Nothing and nobody could have saved me by that point. You couldn’t have saved him even if you’d dragged him home with you like Lan Zhan wanted to do to me.”

“Wei Wuxian-”

He ignores the little flutter in his chest that they’ve at least moved back to an address that feels less precarious than the icy ‘Wei-xiansheng’. “Let me finish, okay?”

“Okay.”

“So... So... Ah, fuck,” he mutters, gently shifting the pouch so he can scratch the back of his neck, trying to catch the lost trail of thought. “You know… I never questioned the clothing I woke up in when I was resurrected. As brutal and nasty as the Mo family were and as disgusting as that little shack was, it should have come off as weird that I was wearing such nice robes.”

There is a quiet sniffle, and Wei Wuxian pretends not to see Nie Huaisang wipe wet eyes with the edge of a sleeve as he continues talking. “He appreciated those. Appreciated that you tried to take care of him.”

He raises the pouch to eye level, and it gives another little crackly hum. “And clearly he still appreciates your efforts, considering his method of dragging me here to make me apologize for thinking the worst of your relationship. So, I’m sorry for that.”

Nie Huaisang gives a watery little chuckle and swipes at his eyes again. “Accepted. Is he… Is he alright? I only know how to contact souls, I don’t know anything about tending to them.”

“Honestly… I’m not sure what can be done,” Wei Wuxian admits as he begins another examination. “There’s really so little of him left, I don’t know what will happen if a purification ritual is attempted. He seems to be more stable as he is than Xiao Xingchen was, but there’s no guarantee he’ll stay like that. Still, I owe it to him to find some way to help him out, so I’ll do what I can.”

“If it would be easier for you to take him back to the Cloud Recesses for study, then… then you should,” Nie Huaisang says, and Wei Wuxian is a little bit impressed that he was able to make the offer despite how much it must have hurt.

“I think he’d be much happier staying here,” he says, then tentatively adds, “But that would mean visits, plural, and while I’m definitely going to have a very long talk with them about all this, I doubt I’ll be able to come without either Lan Zhan or Wen Ning… probably both at first.”

Nie Huaisang rubs his temples with his fingertips, his expression cycling through a complicated series of emotions too quickly for Wei Wuxian to follow, then he sighs. “We’ll figure something out,” he says as he reaches out and takes back the pouch.

Wei Wuxian can’t help smiling at the tender way he cradles it against his chest as he gets up to approach the funeral tablet and put it back in place. “Yeah. We’ll figure something out.”

[jj-babebank]

Camp Willowdale / JJ Maybank AU / PART 5

Synopsis: Camp Willowdale is buzzing with new campers. It’s Caroline Windsor’s first year as a camp counsellor after attending the camp as a camper for ten years. Little does she know that this year Willowdale Lake is going to be a little different from what she is used to it being… Warnings: future chapters may include curse words, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sexual activities, mentions of death. Pairings: JJ Maybank x fem OC Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4 Masterlist

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Part 5 -

53 days of camp left

The first day at Camp Willowdale was usually pretty straightforward – campers arrive, sign in, move into their designated cabins where they meet their counselors, then all gather in the Wildcat Lodge to get their schedules, maps, badges and compasses. Ever since Pricilla’s daughter left her, she ditched the idea of having a stable with horses at camp (saying it reminded her way too much of Wendy, and also cost a lot of money to maintain), and settled for scavenger hunts in full scout mode in the forest, hence the compasses and badges. Every camper was given a first badge for participation and would get the chance to earn new badges to add to their collection during their nine week stay. Pricilla made sure that there was a badge for literally everything – from successfully starting a fire to throwing out the trash. She liked to do this to make all the campers feel included and special, which on its own sounded like a wonderful thing, however her actual motives were selfish – happy kids meant happy parents, and happy parents meant money. She also liked to turn everything into a competition, so she established a scoring system that nobody but her understood, where she’d award or deduct points from different groups and the group with the most points at the end of the summer will be crowned conquerors of the camp at a made up end-of-summer event Pricilla named the “Camp Will-all-hail banquet”. Caroline always found the name to be extremely tacky, but much like mostly everything that Pricilla put her finger onto, it wasn’t surprising.

JJ and Caroline had gotten assigned to Teens 2. Unsurprisingly, everyone in their group was almost their age, which seemed like somewhat of a recipe for disaster, as Caroline feared that this could result in the teens refusing to follow orders from someone who is basically their age. She was pleasantly surprised to find out that their group of teens was actually quite well-mannered and well-behaved. John B and Sarah’s teens, however, were a whole different story.

“You sure you got T2 and not T1?” panted Sarah after finally sitting down at the counselors table beside Caroline for dinner.

Caroline smirked, “Positive,” she confirmed, not being able to hide her amusement at the sight of an already tired Sarah, “Why’d you ask?”

“Oh, no reason,” said Sarah sarcastically, “Well, besides all the girls, and I’m pretty sure one of the boys, having a massive thing for John B, and them all quite literally being the spawns of Satan, hm… no reason,”

Caroline laughed at Sarah’s words, looking over at the table where her group and Sarah’s were seated at. Two of the T1 girls were giggling while telling a story, while everyone else’s attention was on them. Caroline came to the conclusion that they would be the It Girls at this year’s camp, bossing everyone around. She couldn’t help but laugh at the irony that it was Sarah who got these two as they were literally mini versions of her.

“Heard my name being called,” John B slid onto the bench across the table from the girls. Now that everyone had been sorted, the Wildcat Lodge seating area had been rearranged so that the groups would be sat together according to their ages, and the counselors would be sat together according to their groups. The head staff had their own table at the very foot of the podium, right next to where the food was, conveniently.

JJ was quick to join their group at their respective table, “What’d I miss?”

“Oh, nothing,” Caroline said nonchalantly, “Just Sarah being jealous over her girls liking John B, no biggie,” Sarah kicked her under the table, earning an, “Ow!”

John B’s eyes immediately shot up, that familiar twinkle of excitement swimming through his honey orbs, “Jealous?”

“As if,” barked Sarah, squinting her eyes at him threateningly.

“We’ll see about that, baby cakes,” John B winked, diving into his dinner.

“So,” said JJ, lowering his voice in case any of the neighboring tables were listening, “What’s the plan, guys?”

Caroline shook her head, “I don’t even know where we could start, I mean, the only clue we’ve got so far is that message we had to scrub off the rock this morning before the campers arrived…”

John B thought for a second, “Hey, wasn’t Topper paired up with her?” he said suddenly.

Caroline’s eyes widened in realization, “John B, you’re a genius!” she said, earning a proud smile from the boy, “Last night at the counting, Topper said something about feeling guilty for not offering her his jacket!” the four of them turned to look towards Topper’s table. He was sitting quietly, barely poking at his food, while the rest of his fellow counselors were having an animated conversation around him. Caroline turned back towards her friends, “Chances are he was the one who saw her last!”

“Yeah, and judging by the look of his face, he doesn’t seem too excited about it,” remarked JJ.

“Can you blame him? I’d be pissed if I was paired with Madison, too,” muttered Sarah, scrunching her nose at the leafy salad in her plate.

“Tonight at the bonfire,” said Caroline, “Sarah’s going to offer him some help with his girls, seeing as he’s dealing with all of his kids alone,”

“Hey, why me?” Sarah frowned at the plan.

“Because you’re the one who had a massive crush on him back in the day,” Caroline whispered in Sarah’s ear, resulting in Sarah kicking her under the table again. Caroline bit back a groan as she smiled forcefully, looking at the two boys in front of her, “Okay, well, sounds like we’ve got a plan.”

-------------------------------------------------

After handing out the songbooks and marshmallows to all of their teens, Caroline, JJ, Sarah and John B took a seat at their designated log next to their groups, which had somehow bonded during dinner and were all laughing together.

“Alright, settle down kids!” Pricilla said, causing everyone’s chatter to die down, “As you have already been informed, it is a Willowdale tradition to perform our very own rendition of Bomfiara every morning and night until the end of camp. The songbooks you’ve been kindly given by your counselors contain the lyrics to all of the camp songs we’re going to be singing this summer, but I’m sure that by the end of it you won’t be needing the books anymore,” Pricilla fake-laughed at her own joke while everyone just started at her blankly, “Okay, well, let’s sing!” she gave the tone and everyone started signing.

“This is so lame,” said one of the girls Caroline proclaimed as “It Girls” earlier that evening, “We’re too old for this BS,”

“You got that right,” mumbled Sarah.

“Oh, come on, I love it, it used to be our favorite tradition!” whined John B.

The two girls squealed and started pinching each other, immediately opening their songbooks and joining in on the singing, making intense eye contact with John B with their best seductive looks. Sarah rolled her eyes at the scene.

“See?” she whispered to Caroline, “This is what I meant!”

Caroline smirked at the blonde girl, “Am I sensing… jealousy?”

Sarah scoffed at the remark, “Pf, yeah right,” she said defensively, “I’m just annoyed that they’re only listening to what he’s saying and we’re supposed to be counselors together.”

Caroline nodded slowly, pretending to be buying the story, “Yeah, sure,” she turned to look at Topper, who regardless of the fact that he was surrounded by his group and fellow counselors, still seemed down, the camp fire illuminating his distant face, “Speaking of together, when do you wanna go talk to Topper?”

Sarah followed Caroline’s gaze towards the boy, “Once this stupid song is over,”

Caroline nodded and both girls turned towards their group again, where the It Girls were still making sexy eyes at John B, who seemed totally clueless to their approach as he was belting the lyrics of the much familiar song out loud, waving JJ’s hands every so often.

Once the song was over and everyone got back to their regular chitchat, Sarah stood up and straightened her shorts and camp sweatshirt as she made her way towards Topper.

“Hey, Top, this seat taken?” she said, referring to the empty spot on the log next to him where Madison was supposed to be sat.

Topper looked at Sarah as if she’d just said a distasteful joke, “Hey, Sarah…” he muttered, “Obviously not,”

“Awesome!” Sarah smiled widely, plopping down next to the boy.

“So,” Topper started awkwardly, “What brings you here?”

“Saw you from across the pit,” she explained directly, “Couldn’t help but notice that you seem lonely,”

“Yeah, well,” Topper looked at her with a look of disapproval once again, “I sort of am,”

Sarah pretended to only just realize what he was talking about, “Riiight… So, about that,” she chirped again, “Last night you said something about a jacket?”

Topper sighed, “Yeah, Madison said she was cold when we were in our cabin and instead of offering her my jacket, I sort of felt… relieved that she was going to leave me for a second to go grab hers. I should’ve known that something was wrong when she was gone for over 10 minutes, instead I just laughed around with Kelce and the boys and then we heard the scream…”

Sarah rolled her eyes, “Oh, please, you’re not blaming yourself for it, are you?”

“I mean, I kinda am,” Topper confessed, “If I wasn’t too caught up in being annoyed that I’d been paired up with her, I’d have just given her my jacket or followed her to your cabin to get hers and none of this would’ve happened,”

Sarah tried putting on her best apologetic smile as she reached for Topper’s hand, taking him by surprise, “Look, Top, I hate Madison just as much as the next person, but I hardly think any of this was your fault. She probably just used the jacket as an excuse to ditch and got excited to see her rookie boyfriend, hence the scream,”

Topper frowned, “Don’t tell me you actually believe all that?”

Sarah shrugged, “I mean, she was a drama queen,”

Topper pulled his hands away from Sarah’s, shaking his head, “Just go, Sarah,”

Sarah looked over towards her friends across the fire pit who were all staring at her in anticipation, as she shrugged her shoulders and mouthed them a, “Sorry, I tried,” making her way back to where they were seated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Camp has finally officially begun and so has the search for truth ~~ As always, let me know what you think, I hope you are enjoying the story so far, I'm super excited to be writing this xxx

tags: @k-k0129 ; @hayleyy-l ; @marvellover04

Part 6 here

[cocoswriting]

lee wilbur, ler techno? maybe smth where wilbur’s being chaotic so techno takes him down a peg? you dont have to tho— /gen

Chaotic Mf

Summary; Basically what the ask says; Wilbur was being chaotic/creepy and needed to be taken down a peg. [PLATONIC. DO NOT TAG AS SHIP.]

Warning(s); This is a tickle fic! If you don’t like that kind of stuff, then I recommend you just scroll past.

“You put ecosystems in jars?..”

“Yeah,” Wilbur responded casually, laying upside-down on the couch opposite Techno. He had his legs curled over the back of the couch and his head was dangling off the edge—it was a wonder how he hadn’t gotten uncomfortable enough to shift positions yet. Wilbur seemed to have a strange habit of never sitting correctly when he was in one of his “chaotic” moods, always finding some weird way to rest instead. “I go out and collect mud, rocks, soil, and I put them inside the jar.” he explained, and Techno scrunched up his face both in confusion and mild disgust.

“And... this is a normal thing?” Techno asked disbelievingly, flipping a page in the book he had in his hands, though it wasn’t as if he was paying much attention to the text anymore. Wilbur nodded happily from across the room, grinning as he opened his mouth to continue explaining, only to get cut off by Techno. “Wil, I don’t really care. I’m tryn’ to read right now.”

Wilbur huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting in fake dismay and staring at Techno almost expectantly, even though the piglin was very clearly no longer looking at him. “Well, you should care,” the brunet replied with a sassy tone of voice, sounding akin to an annoyed child. “I swear I’m not the only one who does this! Ranboo does it too, or at least he did...”

“Ranboo did that—?... No, Wilbur, really, just talk about literally anythin’ else. I do not care about your jar ecosystems,” Techno was already used to dealing with Wilbur’s chaotic moods. They’d come in at random times, last a couple hours, and then eventually he’d lose all the excess energy he had and go back to “normal.” So it wasn’t as if he actually expected Wil to stop when he was told to—Techno knew he wouldn’t—but he figured he might as well try to change the topic that Wilbur would ramble on about. Honestly, Techno just wanted to read his book. “Can’t you bother someone else? It isn’t that late, Phil and Tommy are still up.”

Wilbur let out a loud, dramatic sigh followed by a shake of his head and a couple tutting sounds. “You’re no fun,” his tone was playful, indicative of the grin that was on his face, despite his words suggesting otherwise. “But fine! I’ll talk about something else.” Wilbur rolled himself over on the couch, sitting upright and then standing up to make his way over to the man sitting across from him. Techno tore his eyes away from the book and glanced up when he realised Wilbur had approached, raising an eyebrow and glaring half-heartedly at the musician.

“What?” Techno’s voice sounded tired, more tired than usual, but bore no real malice as he impatiently awaited Wilbur’s response.

“Have you ever seen Doctor Who?”

“Oh my god,” Techno looked down and rubbed his temples, dropping the book beside him and running one of his hands through his hair, groaning loudly. He heard Wilbur’s shrill laugh at his reaction, which was shortly followed by the sound of shuffling as he sat down next to the piglin and crossed his legs, seemingly prepping himself to start telling whatever story he wanted to tell Techno about. “Please.”

“I already told Phil about this one,” Wilbur began, biting back another laugh at Techno’s long sigh which came straight after. “So, there are these things called ‘weeping angels—!” Wil was quickly cut off by a rough jab to his side. He managed to force back any verbal reactions he might have given to the sudden electric tingly feeling that spread all throughout his side, but he couldn’t conceal the very obvious flinch and curling of his lips.

“You good?” Techno asked, having removed his hands from his face to shoot his brother a concerned glance. Wilbur felt heat rush to his face, but he couldn’t tell whether he’d paled, or gone red. “Did you...” He shifted closer to the brunet, cocking his head to one side. “You flinched,” The elder stated quite obviously, expression a mixture of curiosity and interest.

“You caught me off-guard,” Wilbur quickly stammered out, a sheepish half-smile spreading over his face. Techno frowned—and it was clear from just that gesture that he wasn’t buying it.

Techno placed one hand on his side and left it there, unmoving. Wilbur didn’t flinch that time, but he wanted to, his flustered state having raised his hypersensitivity to the point where he wanted to squirm even just imagining that Techno might find out. “I was just tryin’ to shut you up, you needa’ tell me what happened or I’ll assume that you’re hurt,” Techno said, beginning to slowly rub two(2) fingers in small circles on Wilbur’s side. The last part of his sentence came off as more of a threat to his brother—he didn’t want to worry Techno, but at the same time, getting found out like this would be so embarrassing.

“I-I’m not—“ Wilbur was cut off by a quiet gasp, but not quiet enough for Techno to let slip. One of Techno’s ears twitched at the sound and he made a gruff huffing noise, now reaching down to tug up the hem of his brother’s sweater, exposing the bottom half of his side. “Hey, I’m not hurt, okAY—!” Techno, being the oblivious bastard he was, began to rub gentle circles on Wilbur’s bare side, which elicited a comical noise sounding like a mix between a squeal and a yelp from the man. As Wil managed to squirm away from the tingles, butterflies erupted in his belly when he thought; there’s no getting out of this now.

Silence filled the room for a couple seconds, the gears turning in Techno’s head before it finally clicked, and he couldn’t help the smug expression that formed on his face when he realised what Wilbur had been trying to hide. “You’re ticklish,” he emphasised the ‘T-word’, causing Wilbur’s face to heat up even more, and the fact that Techno’s hand still remained hovering just ever-so-slightly above his side, was not helping. “How come I didn’t know this before? You keepin’ secrets from me, hm?” Techno shoved both of his hands up Wilbur’s shirt and gently ran his nails up and down his skin, eliciting a few snickers along with squeaks and he tried to muffle his giggles.

Wilbur frantically shook his head ‘no’ and looked down, his hair falling in front of his face and (thankfully) hiding his bright pink cheeks. Tingles and shockwaves of tickly sensations shot up his sides, the feeling only increasing the longer Techno’s fingers lingered in the same spot. “Well— you’re definitely much quieter now,” Techno remarked, and Wilbur opened his mouth to give a sassy response, only for a loud squeak to come out instead as the gliding nails began to gently scratch at each side of his back. He arched forward but shifted backwards, resting his back against the armrest and laying down. Wil had hoped this would quell the sensations at least a little, but it only made them worse, the little scratches becoming rougher as Techno’s fingers got trapped. “This seems like a good way to take you down a peg whenever you’re in one of your ‘chaotic’ moods.”

“N-no—hohahahaa!” As Techno moved his hands up to Wilbur’s ribs, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. High-pitched giggles flooded from Wilbur’s lips as he wriggled and squirmed, throwing his head back as his hands switched between trying to protect the targeted spots and trying to push Techno away. It wasn’t exactly working out for him, and eventually he just curled up, hoping to drown out the tickles somehow. It only got worse once he felt Techno begin to drill his thumbs into the spaces between each of the bones. “NOHO! DOHohon’t dohoho thahahat, plehehehahase!”

As Techno gazed down at the giggling boy, he’d be lying if he said his heart didn’t melt at the sight of his bright, carefree smile. “Why not?~” His tone of voice was still deadpan, but it had a sing-songy edge to it this time. If Wilbur had the guts to muster up insults at the time, he would’ve called him every name in the book just as revenge for the horrible teases. “Does it tickle too much? Surely you can’t be that ticklish, right?~” Every time the T-word was mentioned Wilbur felt the pit in his stomach fill with more butterflies, and his blush began to slowly spread out to his neck and ears. “It’s your own fault for bein’ annoyin’.”

“Ihihihi wahahasn’t beheheing ahahannoying!” Wilbur insisted, his giggles slowly increasing as Techno’s fingers danced their way up his ribs, heading for his armpits. But before they could reach the spot, he instinctively slammed his arms down to protect himself, blocking the offending hands just in time. It seemed that Techno took this defensive action as provoking, because his immediate response to that was to sigh disappointedly and start skittering around Wil’s neck and shoulders, causing him to scrunch up like a turtle and begin to wriggle side-to-side in a weak attempt at escaping the tickles. “Nohohoho! Fuhuhuahahack ohohoff— yohohou’re sohoho mehehehehahan!”

“Mean? This isn’t mean,” Wilbur could hardly make out Techno’s words anymore, considering he was much more focused on the shocks of tickles and his own embarrassment. But once he heard those words leave his brother’s lips, he couldn’t help but start squirming even harder on top of squeezing his eyes shut. He couldn’t process what the words meant in his state—but he’s heard that tone before. And that tone means ‘you fucked up’. “You wanna see mean?” Techno asked rhetorically and Wilbur began frantically shaking his head, letting out giggly little “nononono”s as he tensed, prepping himself for the inevitable attack that would come next.

“AAAHAA!” Wilbur shrieked as he felt Techno’s lips make contact with his tummy, quickly followed by an explosion of tickles as he blew a raspberry, shaking his head during it to make it even worse. Wil bucked, cackled and squealed, only for his hips to get held down and mercilessly drilled into by two(2) of Techno’s fingers. All of his nerves felt like they were on fire, and he felt everything—every last pinch to his hips, every raspberry that was blown, and it was almost too much for him to handle. But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t loving it. “NAHAHAHAAA! TEHEHEHAHAHAHA—!”

Even after Techno ceased the raspberries, he still seemed fully intent on being as merciless as possible. He continued to drill right into the dip of Wilbur’s hipbone, using his other hand to rapidly squeeze his tummy, never letting up and never slowing down. Wilbur had completely given up on trying to fight back, his arms were too tired for that now and he knew it was no use, so instead he began using his hands to cover his bright pink face with. “Oh, poor Wilbur,” Techno began, a very obviously feigned sympathetic tone in his voice. “Being tickled is just such a hard job.”

“SHUHUAHAHAT UHUHUHUP!” Wilbur forced out through his hysterics, helplessly rolling his torso back and forth, attempting to focus his attention on literally anything else other than the tickles he was receiving. He couldn’t decide if he loved or hated it—it was unbearable and maddening, he felt like he was being driven up a wall, but at the same time he had to admit that he was having fun. He was soaking up all the attention like a sponge. It didn’t take much longer before his laughter became wheezy and strained, though, and he’d decided he had enough. “O-OHOHOKAHAY! STOHOHAHAHAHAP, THAHAHAHAT’S ENOHOHOHOUGH—!”

Techno listened straight away, ceasing the tickles and backing away as Wilbur curled in on himself, hugging his midsection while trying to rid of the after-tingles that still remained. “You alright?.. was it too much?” Techno asked, reaching over to deliver a couple, comforting pats to Wilbur’s head. He would’ve leaned away if it weren’t for how exhausted he was from all his laughter. “...sorry,”

“N-noho, noho... it,” Wilbur knew he should be careful with his choice of words there. He didn’t want to give away how much he’d actually enjoyed himself, but at the same time, he was well aware he’d likely given that fact away while being tickled. He supposed there was no point in lying—especially if it would risk making Techno worry over nothing. “...wahas nice.”

There was no response for a couple seconds, but then the silence was interrupted by a snort coming from Techno, and Wilbur instantly knew what he would have found amusing. But as Techno gently ran his fingers through his hair, practically soothing Wilbur to sleep, he found he didn’t care as much as he did before.

They should do this again sometime.

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

Alright y’all a likely final WWR coming at you, you know 3 months late the day of the dreaded s19 premiere. This definitely gets ranty and emotional, if you’re a Gibbs stan scroll the fuck away & don’t send me hate anon. This is bittersweet and it hurts and I’ve been living in denial for months but I needed this little bit of closure before the writer’s absolutely fuck it up in less than 6 hours. I hope you enjoy my emotional ramblings & I’ve absolutely loved writing these for the past two years, i’ll miss it & your reactions to it dearly ❤️

Badass Ellie is allllllways a treat, and protective nick contrasted to her making albeit slightly reckless decisions is top tier. And then followed up by him being impressed as hell??? He’s like damn my girl just did that and I am not turned on, no way, we are working I am not turned on, nope. Nick sitting at Ellie’s desk in the beginning PLS. Feet kicked up feeling mighty comfortable for someone who hates sitting at a desk 👀 only ok with it when it’s Ellie’s, huh Nick? Also I love that he’s sticking with the nonchalant approach like he did when he found her looking up Eastern Europe locations. He knows if he pushes too hard it won’t go well, but he is still concerned for her well-being. Those pieces slowly clicking into place that something isn’t just off- it’s worrisome off. Because while yes he’s still nonchalant he’s a touch more serious this time, ignoring her attempt at a brush off and claiming “he wants answers.” It’s a subtle step up from 18x14, but it’s there. His spidey senses are tingling and he’s getting less and less able to hide his concern for her 🥺 even if he tries to play it off as flirty banter because yes he’s still gd impressed with her moves and even tells Vance as such essentially. 

Flash forward to at the stash house and they find the files plus the mini debrief back in the bullpen…I truly am inclined to believe Ellie doesn’t know here. I mean sure she realizes that the timing fits to a certain extent—she was at NSA when this happened, but I don’t think she knows this is the beginning of her end. She’s like “oh they’re selling secrets too” and “my contacts are all gone” like…I just, she seems too casual and not at all on edge. Idk so far I’m just not getting that vibe. She even brushed off McGee with the whole that was ten years ago almost like she didn’t remember it? But then at the same time she did bring up the whole legal vs ethical- she hedged, but she did mention it. She was not super gung-ho about OMG THIS WAS SO UNETHICAL WTF HOW COULD THEY DO THIS so still……..idk lets continue haha

Ok her knowledge of guns is slightly concerning but also Nick finds it concerning AND hot, boy can’t help himself lets be honest. That “damn” that slips out please, so many sirens going off in that head but also you’re just like well fuck talk dirty to me some more babe. Aaaaand here we go, here’s why I know Ellie didn’t know that odette was going to plant that shit right now. “Whoever took them from the NSA’s code-level servers risked a lot more than their career” with a little like duh face from Ellie SCREAMS that she did not, would not, EVER do that. The leak was fabricated by Odette and the fact that it would be planted during this case was all Odette unbeknownst to Ellie. Or why the fuck would Ellie so casually and somewhat judgmentally be like “who TF would leak something like that, man they stupid, committing treason and whatnot.” And Ellie is SHOOK when Vance tells her it was her. Like shook as in, blinks several times, shifts her weight back, glances at McGee with a flash of surprise in her eyes. That body language screeeeeams being caught off guard. If she had leaked those documents and if she had known this was a plant, she wouldn’t be caught off guard. And no matter how well you can try and play the part, that body language is legit. She’s shocked someone would even think about that and oh man, Nick. Nick’s face hurts me (and I know this is just the beginning). Because a man who has always seen himself as the bad egg, the criminal so to speak, the one who would do something shady before any of the others. He is shook and angry that Vance could even consider accusing Ellie of this. And then there’s the genuine concern etched on his face (and I’d know, the screen is currently paused on his face staring at Ellie with a worried furrowed brow and pain clenched in his jaw) because he knows logical Ellie wouldn’t do this but also he knows he’s been seeing little puzzle pieces fall into place of suspicious behavior and this is just one more thing that doesn’t sit right with him- doesn’t fit the woman he’s come to know and love. And while I know he truly believes she didn’t leak the files, I would bet right here he’s concerned about what the fuck she’s gotten herself wrapped up in. 

And she continues to be adamantly against this, like Eleanor Raye Bishop would NOT ever leak intel, not as a baby NSA analyst who believed she was doing the right thing always in her role. Never once bringing up questionable ethics, she thought it was the greater good, that little patriot. She’s so adamantly against it and then Vance asks if she was framed, and I think that’s the point where Ellie realizes this is Odette. The word framed all of a sudden clicks it all into place and she picks up it might be “go time” for her. Her glances over at Vance have changed, they’re more cautious, calculating. She hears they’ve been leaked over ten years ago and she knows that she didn’t do it 10 years ago so this very well may be the notice of eviction from Odette. The “we’re coming for you, Agent Bishop” and her little look, oooooh Ellie is fired up. Her switch flipped and she’s now gotta hunker down and defend herself until she can confirm with Odette. Vance doesn’t even let her get a word in to “fight” for her innocence. But the fact that she’s getting sent home pisses her off, she wants to be close to the investigation, know what’s happening, and I’m sure a part of her still resists being dubbed that traitor of the state. Who knows, Odette may have never told her how she would become a disgraced NCIS agent, and this may have pissed Ellie off because her integrity is something she prides herself on. Her line, “I’m not Gibbs […] I’m innocent line” is like a tiny bright spot to chuckle in during this dismal finale. Gibbs hate train right hereeeee

Love that Kasie is immediately on the Ellie defense side, not looking forward to her reaction to Ellie leaving IF they even decide to show us. 

Gibbs telling Ellie “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” when he fucking up and left the team without so much as a goodbye or sorry for committing police brutality like fuck outta here Gibbs. Ellie is CLEARLY vulnerable right now, she’s been accused of leaking classified documents aka committing treason, she’s suspended, she’s on the brink of going on some dumbass undercover op and is begging, pleading, for any sign from you- her boss and father figure- not to do it. That he shows remorse for leaving the team without a word, that he regrets his decision to just disappear on them, that he wishes he hadn’t or he had done it differently. ANY kind of sign to tell her not to go through with what she’s about to go through. Literally any sign, and instead Gibbs gets defensive and bites back that she’s picking the wrong time in her life (LIKE HELLO YOU JUST SAID IT RIGHT THERE IDIOT, SHE’S GOING THROUGH SHIT MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS BUT NO YOU’RE WRAPPED UP IN GIBBS LA-LA-LAND AND HAVE SAID FUCK YOU TO YOUR SUPPOSED KIDS), so now Ellie is even more pissed and gets defensive back telling him he doesn’t even know what’s going on in her life and if that’s not a desperate cry for help I don’t know what is. like she is begging you Gibbs to pick up on it and figure it out, begging you to do your job that’s you’re supposedly so good at and save her from going through with this stupid mission. And then Ellie realizes that he stopped caring about them. He’d gotten so wrapped up in what he was doing, he stopped caring about their lives, the problems they were facing, anything. Him *not* realizing something was happening??? This is Gibbs, this is the man that always knows what’s happening before you even know what’s happening. So the words “I’m starting to realize that” hit like a fucking dump truck. He’s too preoccupied with his own boat-making nonsense that he can’t be bothered to have even an inkling of an idea of what’s going on in their lives. And he doesn’t seem to care that he’s dropped them from his life. And that’s when it hits Ellie, he’s never coming back. He’s cut the team out of his life and he doesn’t care. He has no regrets, he can’t even be bothered to have a single regret. And I think that, right there, is when Ellie decides she’s all in. I think there was always a small part of her that was hesitant to go along with odette. Hesitant to just upend her career and her relationships (aka Nick, but we’ll get to this), all of it. But hearing that the man she looked up to even though he’d made some mistakes, the man she viewed as a father, the one person who’d taken a chance on the nerdy analyst long ago, the one constant through all the turmoil she’d had, just left? Just left without a goodbye, without remorse, without even a parting thought for her? That was it for her. Whatever brainwashing Odette had fed her that she’d pushed back against from fully taking over finally broke free. And with it, Ellie grieves, she’s tearing up from knowing what she’s about to lose. Lose the man she viewed as a father, the coworkers that were like a family, the partner she’d found herself loving like she’d never loved before. 

Ugh poor hurt Nick, he’s willing to do all the grunt work that he abhors in order to free up McGee so he can save Ellie. Nick knows he doesn’t have the skills and I think that’s killing him even more so. He can’t just do it himself, he has to rely on someone else to clear her name (to which he bumped back to last name in a last ditch attempt to maintain distance and keep some semblance of emotions in check, which is failing miserably), and that is killing the doer we know and love. LOL “so you’re both wrong” this poor man I love him, I can’t wait for the tears that will come from me later 🥲 nick immediately taking Jessica’s help, I love it. He’s like I don’t give AF who will help us but I am clearing this woman’s name if it’s the last thing I do. And then she walks in and he’s frozen. All these emotions running through him and then she’s there?? And she ignores him??? Ignores all of them?? Rushes past and storms up to the director on a suicide mission??? Yeah this is why I said that conversation with Gibbs was her last nail in the coffin. She hadn’t decided to go through with it (hence why she hedged earlier with Vance) and then he went and was a piece of shit so she said the hell with it and went all in. She can’t even bring herself to speak at Nick, barely looks at him, because she knows, she knows if she speaks to him, if he gets a chance to try and talk her down in the heightened emotional state she’s in after talking to Gibbs, she won’t be able to hold it in. She won’t be able to deal with seeing emotionally charged and hurt Nick. So she ignores him and McGee and does what she thinks she has to do. How hard did it have to be for Ellie to tell Vance not to defend her, and that their intel was correct? 🥺🥺 it goes against everything she’s ever stood for and she just went and did it. She hates liars and yet she lied. She loves her country and yet she claimed she committed treason. Her body language once again screams uncomfortable but trying to play it off. She’d nodding and repeating it over and over because she needs to convince herself of the words. They leave a bitter taste in her mouth and she can’t stop it. All she can do is clench her jaw a little tighter and get it over with and convince herself. 

Nick is in disbelief, obviously. McGee looks like he’s five seconds from breaking down because his little sister is supposedly a traitor??? Like he can’t believe it. He’s hurt she would do something like this even though he still knows in his gut that it can’t possibly be true. And oh FUCK the part where Nick’s voice cracks asking if Vance fired Ellie. Fuuuuuuuck me. This man’s heart is breaking for what’s happening to Ellie and being completely in the dark about it. Sure they weren’t really clear on what “they” were after The Talk but still. He thought she was open with him. Ever since the jail cell, things had shifted and he thought she’d been honest with him. He’d picked up on those little things, but maybe it was just training or something, NOT committing alleged treason and quitting the one career she loved. Not leaving him in the dark and vanishing without so much as a word. Not that. Because she KNOWS his past, she knows how much shit he’s been through with people in his life leaving without so much as a goodbye. And his voice continues to crack asking about what’s going on because he’s literally in shock. McGee is desperately trying to keep it together, keep some sort of figurehead for the team. Nick is in shambles ok, just like I’m in shambles. He’s adamant she didn’t do it because he KNOWS her. He knows she would never in a million years leak classified intel and now he’s just confused like a lost and kicked puppy. She didn’t DO IT, and she’s not answering her PHONE. He just wants to talk to her, he just wants to know she’s ok, wants to comfort her, wants to convince her to stop and it’ll be alright and he’ll take care of her and he’ll save her because that’s all he wants to do and always has, right? Save her. Save her from everything in this world that could hurt her. Protect her from life’s dangers. Protect her because he can’t bear the thought of losing her. And that all is crumbling down around him. All of it, crashing down like an avalanche, ready to bury him alive in grief and guilt and despair and anger. How am I supposed to TALK to her, he just wants to fucking be with her. He just wants to be there. With her. For the rest of their lives.

Ellie looking at the hat, please. That’s a lifetime of regret packed into one facial expression right there. She’s looking at that hat, the one she cherishes from the moment Gibbs hands it to her, and knows it’ll be the last time she ever sees it again. It’s not something she can take with her, and it’s full of fond memories—most happy, some sad, a few bittersweet—but memories that have made her life whole the past 8 years. And there’s officially no going back, she’s admitted to treason, there’s no way out of that. She’s having to say goodbye to all of her career without saying goodbye to any of them, all of that is wrapped up in that hat. A hat that’s so simple but signifies so much to her. She definitely was not expecting McGee to come out and so her rebuttals to him are exasperated and grasping at straws initially. She tries sarcasm and then she tries to brush it off “it doesn’t matter, it’s done […] I get that, I don’t want to talk about it” when McGee voices that he’s hurt over this and her reputation matters to him. Because he’s like another brother to you dammit Ellie. Yeah he’s grown since he said Ziva was like a sister to him and just stomped on your heart, he didn’t say it then but you’re like a sister to him too Ellie. I love that he fights her on it, and Ellie is like shit I have to come up with something. I don’t think she expected McGee of all people to fight her on this and I’m so glad he did. A little bit of growth because he is not going to see another person he views as family leave him again. And Ellie’s half assed excuses please, all of it is just such BULLSHIT because when they first debriefed she was just like “ethical? Hmmm” nothing more, nothing about being a vigilante and being up in arms over this like she claims she was. Bullshit Ellie, bullshit. And the PARALLELS TO FUCKING GIBBS. THIS IS WHAT YOU DID GIBBS, THIS IS YOU. LOOK WHERE YOU FUCKING PUSHED ELEANOR BISHOP TO STOOP TO. McGee begging her to regret it and Ellie pulls a Gibbs and is like NOPE. WONDER WHERE THE FUCK SHE LEARNED THAT FROM HUH. Gibbs you are singlehandedly responsible for this shit and how Ellie broke Nick’s heart and whatever happens to her on this stupid mission. I’m glad your dumb boat blew up, you deserve it. 

“I don’t want protection” because I can’t have you all following me. 

“It kills me that I lied to the people I was closest to” not about what you think I’m lying about but what I’ve been hiding. It kills me that I can’t tell you the real reason for this. It kills me.

“It wasn’t years ago for us” McGee rip my heart out please it will hurt less. And Ellie just playing into all of it. Knowing that she needs him and everyone else to hate her and not trust her. Her entire livelihood and backstory rely on them hating her and not following her, believing she’s the enemy and she’s hid these kinds of secrets for so long. Believing she’s a criminal and it was all a farce. She has to play into it. She has to. It’s the only way she will survive, they’ll survive. Odette likely fed her this shit, cut all ties, make sure no one follows, make sure no one is attached, burn all bridges. 

Ah and we’re back to pissed Nick. Nick who doesn’t like to be left in the dark ever, let alone when it deals with Bishop. Getting his edgy self being rude to Kasie but Kasie doesn’t even bat an eyelash. She knows Nick is hurting and she reaches out to him, she doesn’t take his tone to heart because she knows. Nick saying he wouldn’t know how she’s doing is just like a knife to the heart. He wants to know, desperately. He once thought he was the person she would go to in times like these but now all he’s getting is radio silence, a cold shoulder, and screened phone calls. He’s in visceral pain from the thought of her going through this alone, pain from everything he once thought true and good being destroyed in a day’s time. And Kasie is shocked that Nick hasn’t spoken to her. If that doesn’t tell you she knows that they are a thing and the gravity of all this, I don’t know what will. Nick should have spoken to her, clearly he wants to, in every other situation he would have already. But Kasie (and Jessica) just realized Ellie is shutting Nick out and that is Not Good. 

Back to Gibbs. Fucking asshole he is. McGee comes to you desperate to help his sister, Gibbs’ “daughter” and he goes “I think she’s at a crossroads” ???? Acting like he didn’t fucking encourage her at this so-called crossroads???? Like ???? The fuck???? Her crossroads was painfully obvious when she came to talk to you and YOU basically treated her like you couldn’t care less about her. That you had no clue what she was dealing with in her life and said as much. So yeah, she WAS at a fucking crossroads until you SHOVED her into oncoming traffic and said have a nice fucking life. AND THEN. McGee wants to help her and Gibbs tells him he can’t??? “Not this time” bitch this is YOUR FAULT. YOU COULD HAVE HELPED HER. COULD HAVE TALKED TO HER AT LEAST SOMEWHAT AND YOU DIDN’T. YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T REALIZE SHE WAS SPIRALING AND THAT YOU DIDN’T REGRET LEAVING YOUR SO-CALLED FOUND FAMILY IN THE DUST AND GUESS WHAT. SHE WENT AND PARROTED YOUR WORDS RIGHT BACK AT MCGEE SO FUCK YOU GIBBS. 

Ooooh Nick looks lethal, love that look, hate why he has that look though. Lol Nick getting ready to go murder the dude in interrogation because he set up Ellie and he’s just ignoring the fact that she claims she committed treason because he already knows there is literally no way on earth that she did it. And Vance realizing that Nick needs to stand down like fiiiiiiinally someone realized it. Obviously he isn’t gonna listen and poor Nick, this boy has it bad and he’s truly just SO WORRIED for what Ellie is about to do. Because right there, the confirmation that the file was a plant, that was the final puzzle piece falling into its perfect place. Every single thing he questioned, every little moment he’d replayed in his head, it all made sense. And he was so very pissed she hadn’t come to him- and honestly I think part of him is trying to ignore the WHY that’s behind that because he truly wouldn’t be able to think straight if he went there. I think that would be his end, going into the why she didn’t trust him, why she lied, why it hurts him so much. It would be the end, and yet…we’re just beginning here. And of course he knows exactly who is manipulating Ellie, he hadn’t trusted that scum from the start. So of course he goes straight to Odette’s cabin and lays in wait, probably pouring over all the documents and things Ellie did or didn’t leave behind there. 

Ellie pulling up in the truck and that heavy sigh? Yeah, she’s still not convinced this is a good idea. She’s running on emotions but that logical part of her (and deep down, her heart, knowing what she’s about to do- who she’s about to cut out of her life) is whispering of how very bad an idea this is. She still has to gather her willpower to get out of that car but when it’s Gibbs calling her? The same Gibbs that basically just kicked her out the door without so much as a wave goodbye? Yeah, the emotion just came rushing back, pushing the logic aside. She claims she can’t tell Nick because no shit if she has to look him in the face and lie and still say goodbye, it’ll kill her. She’s honestly not sure if she can go through with it. 

OH we back to a Gibbs hate novel, hold on. “I’M REALLY PROUD OF YOU BISHOP” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’M REALLY PROUD YOU’RE THROWING EVERYTHING YOU EVER WORKED FOR AWAY, PUSHING THE ONES YOU LOVE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE, SACRIFICING YOUR ONE SHOT OF LOVE THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE DESERVE THE MOST. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. Oh fuck OFF Gibbs. “Following your gut” oh shut UP. I just don’t understand this part. I don’t understand it, and I’m trying so hard for it to make sense, for it to be in character. Like does Gibbs have any clue?? I’m sure he recognizes the signs, I’m sure he has an inkling at this point. So how would he be proud? How the FUCK would he say he’s learned some stuff from her. Does he mistakenly trust Odette because of what she did for Ziva? Is he just so self-absorbed he doesn’t completely comprehend what Ellie is doing leaving Nick behind??? And Rule 91 is a load of shit. “When you decide to walk away, don’t look back” how FUCKING STUPID. Like Gibbs of all people, you should understand that is a SHIT rule. You’ve lost the people you loved dearly and you think she should just never look back? Like are you saying this so that Ellie has a clear head for the undercover op? Are you hoping she doesn’t get herself killed by being wrapped up in what she left behind??? What the actual fuck. Stupid ass rule honestly. It’s what you live by Gibbs and look how well that turned out for you. Look at the family you ditched. Nice fucking job. 

“It’s done” and “what are you talking about I did everything you asked” ok she’s 100% being manipulated and almost blackmailed somehow. There’s no other explanation. Eleanor Raye Bishop wouldn’t do this shit. Not willingly, not if she knew how much Nick loved her and how much she loved him (which if her words in just a minute are any indication, yeah she had a fucking clue). Odette calling Nick a loose end just SCREAMS how she purposefully fucking chose the moment Ellie and Nick started to get close to decide it was time for Ellie to go undercover. I just KNOW it. She’s a manipulative bitch and there is no limit to the rock bottom she will stoop to. 

Ellie knows who she’s talking about and the just look of fuck I have to actually tell him to his face. The doubt and grief and guilt and all of it, flashing across her face as she realizes she has to do this. She has to face this, she has to lie. She has to break his trust (not that she hasn’t already) something SHE made so painstakingly clear she needed from Nick. Nick is rightfully *pissed* I mean who can blame him. Ellie with her, “I have nothing to be sorry for.” I know Ellie is just doing her best to burn bridges, the hesitation and avoidance leading up to this lends itself to no other interpretation. She is going to say anything and everything to make sure Nick does not follow her. Make sure he stays as far away as possible from her. She can’t bear the thought of him getting hurt in some way from all this. Even though he may not get physically hurt, I don’t think she realizes the heart break is going to be worse. The painful part is Nick understands, he understands why she wants to do undercover. He had seen that glimmer in her eye when they were Charlie and Luis, he gets it, he’s been there. And he wishes so desperately he could impress every lesson he’s learned on her right then and there but at the same time he knows it won’t change a thing. He just wishes in vain that their love would change her mind, even if logic wouldn’t, their love surely could. I think Ellie starts to realize just how much Nick can see through her and that’s why she owns up to the fact that Odette planted the files, and also why I believe the leak was all an elaborate hack that Ellie didn’t know about. 

Then we get to the even more painful part of Nick giving us a glimpse of his raw heart. The why now with a voice crack and Ellie’s hedge at now wasn’t her choice with her own voice cracking, just is so so so telling. She could lie, she could really work at burning this relationship in a blaze of glory but she doesn’t, she owns up to the fact that she didn’t purposefully choose now (aka right when they were starting to figure things out between them), she’s not pulling the strings. Nick coming back with so you had a choice is like the little 5 year old boy whose dad is walking out on him again and it just HURTS. And at the same time Ellie is also the young, insecure agent right now who just wants to prove herself. She wants to be viewed as “ready” and the man whose opinion she bases way too much of her self-worth in didn’t say he was proud of her until she was upending her career to go on some deep cover op where she ditches everyone important in her life. 

“How long?” “Too long.” Yeah ok FUCK ME. They both know exactly what they’re talking about without even saying the actual words. Ellie’s voice cracks once again because of the emotion in Nick’s voice and what he’s implying. It pains her to leave him and what they’re becoming behind. It viscerally hurts her, you can see it on her face. She doesn’t want it to be too long, but she knows it will be. She can’t fathom that he’d stay or wait for her, she doesn’t think she even deserves that. 

Tbh it’s so hard to put this all into words. To fully convey to you how angry and hurt I am over this shit. Ellie’s being manipulated and hurt that she has to burn this bridge and push Nick as far away from her as possible. She thinks its her only out and what should be expected of her based off her conversation with Gibbs because then she parrots his exact words back at Nick when he begs, literally begs her to say something after she was willing to leave without saying goodbye (which we know is because she didn’t think she was going to be able to look Nick in the eye and still go through with it all), “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” like fuck you Gibbs for planting that in her head. There’s PLENTY left to be said. Clearly Nick was not pleased you blew him off Ellie, he wants you to say anything that would make this make sense (we all are tbh) and she says you know my *favorite* line, “I didn’t mean for us to happen.” Nick is all of us with his “something else” because WHAT THE FUCK. This is how I know Ellie was going full throttle with her strategy of pushing Nick away. This was the one thing she could say that would hit hardest for Nick. The man who is insecure about anyone truly loving him and him being a person deserving of a love that “stays” and for Ellie to say she didn’t mean to fall in love and even though they did she’s still going to leave because it was never in the plan, just damn, stab him in the back and twist that knife Ellie. And just like her body language this WHOLE TIME 💀💀💀 she’s just shaking her head because she doesn’t even believe her own words, she doesn’t want to confront this, she doesn’t want to end this. There’s tears in her eyes because everything she’s saying is a lie and it hurts it hurts so damn much but she has to. She’s been manipulated into believing she has to do this, has to say these things. And his body language too, I mean he is tight. He is standing so rigid, hands clasped behind his back because he’s trying to convey openness and vulnerability and it’s so much growth for Nick, so much growth and Ellie is still ripping his heart out and stomping on it. And when she chokes out that goodbye you can hear and feel how final she believes it to be. She doesn’t think he’ll stick around or even want to. In this vein I think she underestimates his love for her here. And if the show goes a different way with it, they’re little bitches. It is in character for Nick to do everything in his power and outside of the rules to find & save Ellie. I will riot if I don’t see unhinged Nick some point early in s19 (I say like I’m going to watch religiously), because that is the only logical reaction to her leaving like this. 

The kiss. It’s a beautiful fucking kiss and it’s ruined by context. It’s an emotional kiss, Ellie throws her body behind it, gripping his face with both hands because she doesn’t want to let him go (even though she’s going to), she clutches to this memory like she clutches to his face. Nick’s clenched expression because he doesn’t want to open his heart up to more heartbreak but when he leans into the kiss and gives the kiss back you know he’s a goner. And maybe a part of him doesn’t care because this may be his last memory of her for a long time and he’s going to burn it into his memory too. It’s why he keeps his eyes shut after she’s left for so long, he doesn’t want to open them and the reality of her retreating back be the last thing he sees of Ellie. He wants the kiss to be the last thing, he doesn’t want to face his reality. His hands had even come out from behind his back, reaching out to her subconsciously willing her not to leave. Meanwhile, Ellie opens her eyes for that last kiss on the cheek to get one last long look at Nick, one last look that will hold her over for who knows how long. A look at his vulnerable face, a face she loves. A look that she hopes will keep her warm at night even though she knows she’ll never get it this close to her again because there’s no way in hell that Nick would entertain the thought of them together again after what she’s done. She doesn’t look back because she can’t. She can’t see Nick’s wounded face just standing there, broken or she won’t go. And Nick tries to stand resolute, the anger and pain flashing across his face before he grits his teeth together and *hopefully* resolves to find Odette and kill her I mean save Ellie I mean kill Odette 🙊

Anyways, there’s only a very specific way this entire finale makes sense. And I know Emily’s pregnancy threw it for a loop, but they can still SOMEWHAT fix this. Do I think they will? Hell fucking no. I have zero expectations, in fact negative expectations. I have a feeling what we were supposed to see is Nick going on an absolute swan rampage to find Ellie and clear her name throughout the first couple episodes of s19 and with Emily leaving the show, I’m not sure how they’ll twist this. I can see why they thought this was a fun cliffhanger because it would eventually be resolved and I do believe they would’ve eventually gotten ellick together after Nick found her. But unless Emily comes back at the end of the show, that won’t happen, at least not on screen. And with that I just 🥲 I’m still mad, I’m still broken inside but yeah. I’m a masochist before anything else apparently and so I made myself rewatch and write this out. A bittersweet pissed off adieu to the WWR. maybe one day i’ll find another ship & show that gets this level of meta out of me, but it’s been real ellick, it’s been really real ❤️

[laurie-stark]

Bags

(not my gif)

Summary: After another duffle bag of supplies washes up on shore, the girls realize that they’re going to be stuck here for a while. Episode six rewrite. 3.0k words. 

Pairings: Toni Shalifoe x fem!reader 

Warnings: Swearing, throwing up

A/N: Okay listen I just wanted Toni fanfic but no one was writing it so here you go. Also I really tried too hard to get the bed sharing trope LEAVE ME ALONE I LIKE IT PSLFDLJ (this is your reminder to turn on Interactivefics xx) oh and also theres a bit in here thats heavily inspired by @ drewstarkeys Toni fic which you all should go read asap its amazing. 

This was weird. It was really fucking weird. It had only been four days since we found Jannette’s grave empty. Four days since we found a clean water source. The longer we stayed on this god forsaken island, the more it felt like we were never getting off. And now another round of duffle bags have shown up. You know, as crazy as I think she is sometimes, Leah’s starting to have a point. Something is way off about this place. 

Nora and Rachel were the ones who spotted the bags. They washed up on the rocky side of the beach, covered in weeds. Dot was hoping for some more food, maybe more medicine if we were lucky. But to all our confusion, all the bags contained were blankets and pillows. Ten pillows and five blankets, Dot so cheerfully announced. My first red flag was that the insides were completely dry. I didn’t want to say anything though. I was sure there was a reason for this.

“There’s enough shit here for us to double up,” Dot told us while Nora and I laid out the makeshift beds. “Except for one person who gets to sleep alone.” 

“Well that’s not fair, why does one person get a bed all to herself?” Rachel asked, standing up defensively. 

I rose to my feet as well. “Why don’t we rotate it?” I suggested, hoping to relieve some of the tension. “W-with our off days. That way whoever’s off can have an extra good night’s sleep before they have to work again?” The girls all nodded their heads and mumbled words of agreement. Rachel sat back down on her log. 

“Great idea y/n. So who’s bunking with who?” Dot asked. Rachel and Nora instinctively reached out for each other. Beside me, Toni looked to Martha. Martha gave Toni a weary look before reaching a hand out in the opposite direction. Towards Shelby. Even I had to stop myself from dropping my jaw. 

Fatin gleefully agreed to pair with her “new bestie for the restie,” Dot. That left myself, Toni and Leah. I glanced between them. Leah was avoiding my eye and Toni...Toni just looked mad. It’s not that I don’t like Leah, I just don’t know her. Not that I know Toni any better, but at least Toni hasn’t gone batshit crazy more than once. On the other hand though, I didn’t find Leah unbelievably beautiful the way I did with Toni. And Toni would never want to bunk with me anyway. I crossed my arms, not doing a very good job at hiding my uncomfortableness. I was about to open my mouth to ask Leah to share when Toni called my name. 

“Y/n,” I turned to face her, eyes wide. “You’re with me?” I nod and swallow hard. Fuck. 

The sun was getting lower and lower in the sky, just like our food supply. Rachel offered to go foraging for something meatier in the morning, so at least I could look forward to that.

I shuffled under the blanket Toni and I shared. “Sorry you got stuck with me,” I whispered. “I can go sleep with Shelby if you want, so you can be with Marty?” 

“Nah,” Toni shook her head. “I don’t mind. Besides, I don’t really think Marty wants anything to do with me right now.” I didn’t know what to say. I felt bad for her. A lifetime’s worth of friendship thrown out of the plane. Literally. 

I wondered if anyone else was awake. The light from the fire was enough to see everyone’s feet but that’s about it. I still wasn’t accustomed to how dark it got at night. I was limited to just my hearing after the sun went down. I would try not to listen though. The more you listen, the more you realized how we definitely were not alone out there. Focusing on Toni’s breathing beside me was enough to keep me sane.

Couldn’t say the same for Leah though. She sat straight up and I thought she got bit by a crab or something. 

“Does anyone else think that this is crazy?” She asked us.

Fatin groaned. “Leah, we got into a plane crash. Is that not enough crazy for you?” 

“No seriously Fatin, what the fuck is going on?”

“What are you talking about,” Dot sat up. 

“I mean these,” Leah held up a fist full of her blanket. “Where did they come from? Do none of you think that something’s up?” 

I pushed myself upright. “I’m starting to agree with Leah.”

“Oh God, not you too,” Dot flopped back down onto her back. 

“No, think about it,” I started. “A bag with medicine just happens to show up? And then we find Jannette’s grave empty!? And now these duffles appear with nine peoples worth of blankets and shit? Who brings that to a resort retreat? That’s weird. It’s really fucking weird.” Everyone was sitting up at this point, staring at me. “I didn’t say anything when we opened them, but these things were dry. Everything bone dry. Rachel and Nora found the bags on the shore, like they were washed up. They should have been soaking. Hell, they should have sunk!” I took a shaky breath in. “Every day we stay here the more it feels like we’re not leaving. It’s like someone wants us to stay here. I know I sound crazy but come on!”

“Y/n...” 

“We don’t even remember the crash!”

“We all blacked out.”

“That’s not how plane crashes work though!” I realized how loud I had gotten. I noticed how Nora was sitting, hugging her knees tight. Shelby’s face was pale, even in the orange glow from the fire. I closed my eyes. “This isn’t my first crash.” I kept my eyes shut. I didn’t need to see their faces while I told this story. “I got into another one like eight or nine years ago. The engines broke and we crashed in a forest somewhere near Chicago. And I remember it all. I remember the engines failing, and the plane falling and the back coming off when we hit the trees. I didn’t black out until I was on the ground. So yeah, I think something is fucking off. This isn’t right, none of this is right! We shouldn’t be here, we shouldn’t-” 

I started to choke on my own words. I think I was starting to throw myself into a frenzy. Something grabbed at my hand. It was Toni. She looked me in the eyes. There was something in her gaze that told me I was safe. Told me to calm down.

“Okay,” Dot said slowly. “I think we’re all starting to lose it a little bit Y/n. And no sleep isn’t gonna help. Let’s all try to get some shut eye, yeah?”

I nodded profusely and flipped onto my side, embarrassed now from that outburst. I guess I didn’t realize how far off the rails I’d been slipping. Silently, I started to cry.

I tried to stay as far away from Toni as possible. With my back to her, I figured that my crying could be somewhat camouflaged. I was very wrong.

“Hey,” Toni murmured. When I didn’t respond, she tugged on my shoulder to roll me over. I quickly wiped the tears off my cheeks. I couldn’t look at her directly. Her gaze softened. I realized then how close we were. Even in pitch darkness, I could still make out the outline of her face, her cheeks, her nose, her lips- I prayed she couldn’t hear how loud my heart was thumping. Toni reached a hand out and brushed another tear away. Had I started crying again? Jesus I was so far gone. “I know how you feel. I wanna get out of here too.’ I said nothing.

Toni moved to create some more space and put her arm out. I looked at her, questioning, though I doubt she could see my face. “Come here,” she said quietly. “I heard what you told us yesterday, about what your mom says? Sometimes you just need a hug.” I nearly started crying again right there. Slowly, I squirmed closer until my body was curled into hers. I smiled inwards. Besides the fact that my heart was trying to beat right out of my chest, I felt better. We both drifted off soon after.

 I woke up to the sun shining way too bright and the sound of…snickering? I opened my eyes and tried not to get totally blinded by the light. I looked up to see Nora, Fatin and Dot standing over me, all chuckling.

“What?” I mumbled. I must have woken Toni up because she started moving underneath me.

Oh.

That’s why they were laughing.

I had fallen asleep curled into Toni’s side and woken up completely entangled with her. It wasn’t a one-sided thing either, she was holding on to me for dear life. What. The. fuck. I jolted upright, maybe a little too fast because the three girls around us started to laugh more.

“Good morning love birds,” Fatin cooed.

“Shut up,” Toni said, using a hand to shield her eyes. “We were conserving heat.”

“Yeah, what she said,” I smiled. “Is it breakfast already?”

“Not quite,” Dot shrugged. “Martha and Shelby are still getting some berries and shit.”

“Oh well in that case I’m going back to bed,” Toni grunted, rolling over. Her and I were on water duty today, so technically we had no need to be up before breakfast anyway. Dot and the girls made their way back to the fire. I was half awake though. Might as well start the day early too. Except that Toni seemed to have other plans.

Before I had the chance to get up Toni was tugging at my arm, silently asking me to come lay down. I gave in immediately. “Come keep me warm,” she mumbled. And so I did. As I laid my head down onto her chest, I noticed Shelby looking at us. She turned away when she met my gaze, but there was something behind her eyes. Disgust. Great, just what we needed. Stranded in the middle of nowhere with a fucking homophobe.

“Do you think Shelby is homophobic,” I asked lowly.

“I dunno, maybe? Why?”

“No reason, I just….That would be pretty awkward if she was.”

“Yeah…”

 Nora woke me up a second time that day for breakfast. We ate in silence like we had done for the last few days. Food was running short and we were getting antsy. Toni and I broke away from the group after we ate with half of Fatin’s luggage bag. We trekked up and through the forest towards the waterfall. Neither of us said a word the whole trip. I was starting to overthink. Like, heavily overthink. In normal circumstances, overthinking might be appropriate. The night before was…not normal. But these were not ordinary circumstances. The middle of nowhere is probably the best place to have not normal and still be fine. Whatever. Right? Was it weird? Does she think I’m some weird crybaby now? Was that just a pity hug? Am I going absolutely crazy for no reason?

I’d gotten so wrapped up in my thoughts, I didn’t even notice we’d arrived back at camp. As Toni and I got to work, filling bottles to boil, Rachel was shouting from the top of a cliff. She was holding up a sack of something, I couldn’t quite make it out.

“Who’s ready to fucking feast?”

Mussels. Rachel found mussels. Now, I’d never been one for survival training but the one thing I knew was that seafood was a no.

“I really don’t mean to be a bubble burster, it’s just that seafood can be really dangerous,” I explained. Rachel looked like she wanted to take my head off. “And we do not have the vicinities to properly prepare these.”

“So what, you’re saying I’m trying to poison all of us?” Rachel challenged.

“No! No, no, not at all Rach. This was a great find, you did good.” I smiled wearily. “All I’m saying is that maybe someone should sit this one out, you know? Just in case. If we’re all sick then we’ve got no chance.”

“Great then who’s gonna be the starving one?”

“I don’t mind. I got berries.”

 Turns out Shelby wouldn’t eat either. An allergy, I think she said. It felt good to see everyone this happy. Leah was genuinely smiling, Dot seemed a little less stressed. For a second it felt like we were actually on the retreat we were supposed to be on. Toni started to make out with her mussels. Or…well you know, with them. We all found it hilarious. Except for Shelby...

“Fuck you.” And with that Toni was off, running down the beach. I myself was on the brink of tears. Some churches man…they’ll brainwash even the best of 'em. I stared at the sand, not sure where to go. I wanted to chase after Toni, I wanted to stay right here and hide in the sand. The rest of the girls had gone quiet too.

“What?” Shelby asked. “Am I not allowed to have my own beliefs?”

“Not those ones,” I spat. I pushed myself up and jogged around the bend.

I saw Toni near the shoreline. She had her feet in the water. Cautiously, I crept up behind her. I didn’t want to startle her. “You good?”

Toni turned and her stance signaled she was ready for a fight. Her shoulders relaxed when she realized it was just me. “Yeah. No. Whatever, I just need a break from barbie bitch.”

“Yeah, you and me both,” I chuckled. “Will you though? Be okay?”

“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine.” She looked back out at the sea.

“G-good. Okay, I, uh…good, I’m glad,” I was muttering. I mutter when I’m nervous. Avoiding eye contact, all that fun stuff.

“Why are you so nervous?” Shit. So she did notice. “I mean you’re chill around everyone else but you get all twitchy around me. What’s with that?” She paused and her face fell a bit. “Do I scare you?”

“Oh god no,” I grasped her hand. “No I promise Toni, I’m not scared of you.”

“Then what?”

I look down at my toes. “I-I um…you-“ I swallow hard. “You’re pretty.”

She didn’t say anything and I was about ready to jump into the ocean and never come back. And then she laughed. She fucking laughed! Oh my god I was going to cry. I felt like I had just been publicly rejected in middle school all over again.

“That was cute,” Toni said, still chuckling a bit. I looked her dead in the eyes and she wasn’t kidding.

“Okay, I’m gonna go back now.” I turned on my heel and started walking back, very briskly might I add. I could not believe that just happened. 

“Yeah me too-“Toni cut herself off and started heaving. I looked back. Toni was throwing up her entire stomach and then some. I rushed to her side, brushing the hair from her face. In the distance, I could see Rachel throwing up too. Oh Jesus Christ.

Shelby and I spent the rest of the day running from girl to girl, holding hair and passing out water. It was one huge haze of running back and forth, trying to make sure no one died. I knew that the mussels were a bad idea. God, how could I be so stupid? This was all my fault. Once Dot resurfaced from the dead, she took charge. Leah was sent to go find the medical bag while Dot and I boiled more water. She had me look over Toni and Marty while she took after the twins.

Toni was not good. By the time I got back to her, she was practically lifeless. Fatin was trying to get her to drink some canned water but it wasn’t working. Matha, who was equally unwell sat by idly, crying into her can of water and trying not to throw up again. I pulled Toni off of Fatin and into my lap, trying to get her to drink the water from my bottle. She kept turning her head away or pushing my hand. I pulled her closer and upright with one arm and got Fatin to hold her face in one place.

“Drink,” I told her. She couldn’t even speak but she shook her head. “Toni, drink. Please. You need to rehydrate for me okay?” I got her to drink a little, but she just couldn’t swallow. Martha started crying at some point. Luckily, Leah made it back with the medicine. 

Trying to fight Toni into taking the pill was not working Especially not when everyone started crowding and screaming at myself and Dot. Shelby crouched to our level and took the pill from Dot. This only made things worse. No way in hell was Toni ever going to accept anything from Shelby. But blondie wasn’t going down without a fight. In one motion, she’d shoved me out of the way and climbed on top of Toni, dropping the pill into her mouth and forcing her to swallow. 

 Night fell and everyone was exhausted. Toni hadn’t woken up since Shelby drugged her and honestly I was getting a little worried she died in her sleep or something. Martha wasn’t looking too hot either. She’d broken into a sweat despite the cold of the night. Everyone else is tucked into their respective beds, dead silent. The cold night air made it easier to relax. After a day like today all i wanted to do was curl up next to Toni and never wake up. 

Beside me, Toni started to stir. The weight I’d been carrying finally lifted off my shoulders. “Toni?”, I chimed. “Are you alive?”

“No,” she grumbled as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. I didn’t give her a moment more to readjust to life before I tackled her in a hug.

“Oh my god, you’re okay.” She laughed at me again, but this time I didn’t mind. Cause she wasn’t dead. Or close to dying. I pulled her back down on top of me. She fell asleep again in my arms. I smiled down at her. Once again, there was a moment where I wasn’t in living hell. It was just me and Toni. Somewhere safe. And warm, preferably. Everything was going to be okay.

 And then Marty dropped dead.

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Smoke & Mirrors - part 2

Neil x Reader

Chapter 2: What kind of man

(see chapter 1)

summary: the matchmaking trio changes their strategy, and you end up on a sparring mat with Neil

warnings: language and other explicit things, 18+ and I MEAN IT

author’s note:  ...you know what? I don’t want to take any responsibility for where this chapter ended up going. Those characters have mind of their own and at this point I can just write it down and try not to die on the way. (I know it’s far from what we’ve discussed A, but it’s best I could do with what these two had given me, promise to do better next time)

The song for this chapter is Florence + The Machine - “What kind of man”  (changed from “Undisclosed desires”, don’t ask me, I don’t know either)

Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think, please?

___

“...and you really think this is a good idea?” 

“It sure beats yours,” said Ives and took a sip from his cup.

TP huffed and smacked his arm. “Hey, I thought it was our idea!”

“What matters is,” - Wheeler chimed in, fighting a losing battle to hide the annoyance in her voice - “it was a terrible one, and we have to do better if you want them to not get each other killed on the field.”

Ives pondered for a while. When he looked at Wheeler, his eyes were full of concern. “Honestly? This sounds like a recipe for someone getting hurt.”

She kept forgetting how protective he could be over his friend. Although this time, she thought, the one at risk was definitely Neil. 

Wheeler smiled reassuringly. “Trust me, it’s gonna work.”

_________________

There was a certain peace in the emptiness of the HQ’s shooting range in the early morning. It always helped you clear your head - there was no place for emotions while you were holding a gun. And you always knew when to come there to be alone. 

At least up until today.

Just as you finished your routine and grabbed your bag, the door opened and you were greeted by the smirk from under the messy blonde mane. 

Bloody perfect.

A week had passed since the bar encounter, seven long days filled with Neil’s tiresome presence during your work time. If it wasn’t a merged mission of your squads, there were training sessions. The shooting range was your last place free from the walking reminder of your recent failure. 

Not anymore, apparently. 

“Going out already? Too bad, I was hoping to get some tips from you.”

“Aim and pull the trigger. Repeat. It’s really that simple,” you said, shrugging.

The blue eyes narrowed behind yellow-tinted lenses of the safety glasses as Neil sent a forced smile your way. “Never would have guessed,” he deadpanned.

You passed by him, not willing to allow him to get under your skin. But then, just as you were about to exit the room, you stopped and cursed internally at yourself. Closing the door and turning around, you placed your bag quietly on the ground and leaned back against the wall. With your arms crossed, you watched Neil as he prepared his pistol and started the practice. 

You studied his posture, the way he held the gun in his gloved hands, trying to find any weak points in his technical side. There wasn’t too much to improve, his problem with shooting during the missions must have been elsewhere. You briefly glanced over the rolled sleeves of his navy blue shirt and the way his jaw tightened when he checked the target to grade his accuracy. 

“Look at that, you actually can hit a target,” you said and the corner of your lips twitched. “An easy one and not quite lethally but still, I’d call that a progress.”

Neil scoffed and glared at you over the shoulder. “I thought you were done for today.”

The subtle hints of frustration rang in his voice, catching you by surprise. You didn’t know why, but all of the sudden, the satisfaction you felt had a bitter aftertaste. 

You eyed him carefully before speaking again, this time easing up on the mocking tone. Just a bit. “Maybe you just need to train in a more stressful environment.”

A sardonic smile tainted Neil’s lips as he focused on the target again. 

“Keep talking then.”

You snorted, shaking your head as you left the shooting range. 

Fucking hell, he was just infuriating.

_________________

You stared at the bulletin board in disbelief. The new training lineup added one-on-one sparring sessions, and your name was all the way at the bottom of the list, which only meant more late evenings at the headquarters. And as for the choice of your sparring partner-...

With the corner of your eye, you spotted a familiar figure, trying to sneak by you unnoticed. You turned around quickly. “Ives, why do you guys hate me so much?”

He sighed slowly and patted you on the arm. “It’s nothing personal,” he said, his voice almost sincere. But you knew better, and after the crap they’d pulled on you last time, you had every right to be suspicious. 

“You could have picked anyone else for him,” you complained, quite desperate to try anything to avoid spending more time with that blonde pain in the ass.

“I didn’t pick shit,” Ives scoffed. “Besides, it’s just the combat practice, the usual training rotation stays the same.”

“And it’s a coincidence-”

“It’s not,” TP’s voice rang from behind you. “It’s the result of your recent evaluation.”

You stifled a curse. 

_________________

Neil’s brows furrowed in fake concern while he looked you up and down as you kicked off your shoes and stepped on the mat. The fact that you accidentally matched your black tank top and shorts to his black t-shirt and sweatpants didn’t get lost on him.

“What’s with the frown, sweetheart?” he teased. “I thought you might enjoy it, I saw the way you look at me.”

You smacked your lips as you began to stretch your arms and sneered, “Good, so you know how much I want to punch your stupid face.”

Neil kept his features casual, but the taunting sparks in his eyes were saying plenty. 

“I can’t wait to see you try.”

You started circling each other slowly. After seeing him in combat, you knew that you were in his domain. You tapped into all your bottled anger to cover the lack of confidence you suddenly felt in his calm presence. 

“Ground rules?” you asked, putting your guard up.

Neil’s shoulders raised in a slight shrug as he mirrored your pose nonchalantly. 

“Just show me what you got.”

And that’s what you did. 

You always considered your close combat skills adequate. Good enough to let you get out of most of the situations you’d found yourselves into during missions. But after yet another blocked hit, you weren’t so sure about that anymore. 

Meanwhile, Neil was clearly having fun watching you struggle to break through his defense. “You don’t like hand-to-hand combat,” he rather stated the fact than asked as he dodged under swing aimed for his head and lunged forward, tapping your right side to mark the exposed area. 

“If you’re that close, it means I’ve failed to shoot you,” huffing in frustration, you spun around and kicked, missing him just barely. Neil didn’t give you too much time to regain your balance, making you jump out of the way of his flying knee. He flitted around you and grabbed your wrist, twisting it quickly and pressing it to your back, quickly adding your other one there before you could do anything about it. 

“You never let anyone near you, huh?”

A cold shiver ran down your spine as you tried to wriggle your way out. Neil was definitely too close for comfort, both literally and figuratively. “You’re not my therapist, blondie,” you uttered through gritted teeth, taking a sudden step back right into his arms, a change of direction finally allowing you to escape his grasp.

“Thank god, because I feel sorry for them already,” Neil laughed dryly. His eyes narrowed as he watched your mouth open in disbelief at his remark and a shit-eating grin crept on his face. 

You don’t know what pissed you off more - the fact that he was bent on driving you mad, or the sudden realization that the fucker was clearly holding back. It didn’t matter that you were struggling enough with the moderate effort from his side; to you, it was an insult worse than the comment. 

You brushed a sweaty strand of hair from your forehead. “Aren’t you tired?” you snarled, shifting your balance back and forth. The question was vague enough, but from the way his expression changed, you knew he got the hint. The predatory flare in his eyes made the heart race in your chest. 

Neil sprung at you, faking a misstep on the way to throw you off balance. Your senses sharpened enough to predict his next move and you were there to deflect a lightning-quick hit to your abdomen. You returned with a strike at his side but to no luck. Neil ducked under your elbow and closed in on you, giving himself enough momentum to knock you down and pin you to the mat.

The self-satisfied stare just a few inches from your face was making the blood boil in your veins. Cursing internally at both his reach and flexibility, you squirmed under Neil and that only made him press his forearm to your chest even harder, a roguish smile tainting his lips. “See, there’s one thing you need to learn. You need to work smarter, not harder.”

An outraged cry built in your throat as you clenched your hands on his arms, trying to gain any leverage in your position. You glared into the blue eyes, the nauseating hate burning in every cell of your body.

Neil raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Oh no, did I hit a nerve?”

You let out a frustrated groan. Of course, that son of a bitch hit a fucking bullseye. And to make matters worse - he had a point, too. 

Neil spotted a change in your expression a second too late. You swiftly moved your hands and sneaked them under his t-shirt, sliding them up his stomach. His eyes widened as he gasped, reducing the pressure on your chest. That gave you enough room to maneuver, rolling him off you and pinning him with his wrists above his head. 

With your faces again just inches away from each other, both of you panted heavily; a part of you enjoyed Neil’s amused gaze, his mouth slightly open as he tried to level his breath. And then - 

“Good girl. Just like that.”

...fuck.

You didn’t know what exactly made your brain short-circuit. Was it the hoarse voice combined with the praise? The way the blue eyes suddenly got darker? Or both together?

And you didn’t even know how you found yourself underneath Neil again, flipped on your stomach, your hands behind your back. With one cheek pressed against the cold mat, you shivered at the sudden warmth of his uneven breath on your neck. 

A throaty chuckle made your heart skip a bit. “Two can play the game, darling,” he purred as his lips brushed against your ear. 

Your mind went blank again. 

Somehow, you made your way back to the shared locker room.

You leaned your back against the wall, crossing your arms. The tension between the two of you was almost volatile, elevating your heartbeat with every second passed and every step Neil made your way. 

“You’re insufferable.”

You grinned slyly as your eyes flared up. 

“The feeling is mutual, blondie.”

The way his gaze got even darker made your breath hitch. The burning sensation inside of you was something more than hatred now, not caring if you were ready to admit it or not.

He smacked his tongue, a vicious smile dangled in the corner of his lips. 

“You really should stop calling me that.”

The hidden threat in his tone made your mouth dry. You raised a brow and held your breath. 

“Or?”

He closed in on you and grabbed your chin harshly.

“Or I’ll make you.” 

You flashed your teeth and taunted him again. 

“Can’t wait to see you try.”

Neil hummed and moved a pad of his thumb against your lips, making you gasp breathlessly and lose all the resolve you had left. A dry chuckle in response to your expression was enough to haze your mind. You tilted your head as Neil leaned in, drawing his attention just where you wanted him. It took all your willpower not to sigh when he sucked at the skin just below your ear and your fingers raked through blonde hair, pulling Neil even closer. 

His hands roamed your body hungrily while his mouth moved down your neck. When you felt his fingers going up your thigh, you tugged at his t-shirt, and as they moved even higher, your hips bucked involuntarily, so eager to feel him where you needed him the most.

A sharp chuckle against your collarbone as he palmed over the almost completely soaked-through fabric of your shorts sent a bolt of pleasure through your every nerve. You could feel your core pulsing even harder as his long fingers rubbed you just right.

Your hand flew back up and yanked at his hair, making him look at you just before you trailed his jawline with your mouth. Neil groaned and a laugh rattled in your chest. 

You reached for his waistband, but he was faster. Next thing you knew, your shorts and panties were gone and Neil lifted you and pinned you to the wall. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he slid his arm around your lower back. You nearly cried out when he thrust into you mercilessly; instead, you dug your nails into his back and sank your teeth in your bottom lip. As Neil picked up the pace, you clung to him for dear life. The heat radiating from his body carried the musky smell mixed with the almost fade-out scent of his cologne, the combination so intoxicating it made you lightheaded. You felt yourself tighten around him as he ground into you relentlessly, and pathetic whine escaped your mouth. Hearing that, Neil slowed down, almost stopping and you groaned in frustration when you realized what he was doing. 

“I hate you,” you uttered through gritted teeth, panting heavily, rolling your hips, longing for the friction that son of a bitch was purposely denying you.

Neil pulled back enough so you could see the roguish sparks in his eyes accompanied by a mischievous grin. 

“Don’t be so dramatic,” he teased, his voice low and raspy.

You huffed, outraged by the audacity and he laughed, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he picked up where he’d left off. The fire he’d just fueled blazed in your veins, your heart raced in your chest and you felt yourself climbing the peak again. Wrapping your arms around him and pulling yourself closer, you frantically gasped for air and squeezed your eyes shut as you came undone with a loud moan, the pleasure hitting every fiber of your body in violent shockwaves. That was enough to send Neil over the edge, a deep groan escaping his mouth as he came into you, tightening his grasp on you almost painfully. 

At that moment, you were nothing but a trembling mess in his arms. Coming down, you pressed your forehead to his, enjoying the way your breaths intertwined. 

When both of you regained your senses, you pushed him away and picked up your clothes. As you were both decent enough, you glared at Neil.

“This changes nothing,” you said. 

The self-satisfied look in his eyes made you realize your mistake. 

No nickname. 

You cursed internally, but it was already too late. He’d had it his way, in the end. 

Neil’s lips curled in a half-smile.

“How tragic.”

(next chapter ->)

[evermorehaikyuu]

It’s Nothing Special

MASTERLIST

DECLARATION OF INVITATION | AGREE TO DISAGREE | BREAKING NEWS

~

The only sounds heard as she walked alongside the empty roads were the crickets chirping in the same rhythm as her heartbeat, her footsteps, seeming a little too loud and giving everyone her location, and her shaky exhales. Clearly, this was a bad idea, the worst one she’d had. 

However, while it was a stupid thing to do, there was still a part of nobility within her. Would she sacrifice her life out of compassion? That was genuinely a question she had had for herself before but at the unknown number’s taunts about Tsukishima, she found herself walking towards her inevitable doom. It was the only thing to do if it meant that Unknown wouldn’t lay his hands on Karasuno, considering that it was sort of her fault that she was in this position. 

At that thought, Y/N frowned. It isn’t my fault, she thought, none of it is. I did nothing. I’m just doing what anyone would do, that’s a ridiculous idea. She stopped trying to blame herself, knowing that she wasn’t at all to blame. It wasn’t her fault that some psychotic bastard with a double face was trying to ruin her. Sighing, she clutched her jacket closer to her. It wasn’t cold; on the contrary, the atmosphere around her was warm. She was the only one that felt a chill creeping up her arms and down her spine. 

It was also fortunate that there was a pocket on the inside of her jacket with a knife in it. If push came to shove...she could claim that it was in self defense. She even had evidence. Thank every star above that Ushijima had taught her the basics of knife throwing and of specific locations she could target in order to get maximum damage. 

Shaking away the worst case scenario from her head, she could feel her face scrunch up from worry. Already she sensed Kaori telling her that if she kept doing that, she’d get wrinkles before she was supposed to. The thought of her team made her smile slightly, the only beacon of light inside of her place of darkness, literally. 

Hopping over the roots of a tree, she could tell that she was closer to the concert stage where the unknown had told her to meet her. Swallowing dryly, she could see the stage with the stairs on the side. In the wings should’ve been speakers and extra source fours, but it just looked as empty as it felt. The feeling of being alone quickly stopped, making Y/N freeze in her tracks. Someone was there with her, watching her. 

I’ve watched enough horror movies not to call out and I have enough sense, Y/N told herself silently. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and pulling it out, there was a new message from Unknown. All it said was, Take your final guess. That meant she had to talk. Groaning internally, she took a deep breath and said, “I’m not guessing until you talk.” 

Nothing. Her phone pinged again with another message. You’re not the one making orders here. 

“All right. Guess I’ll sit here and wait. I don’t mind.” Y/N could’ve grinned, knowing she was pissing off Unknown. While that would’ve terrified her, she did acknowledge that this person liked the sound of their own voice and ensuring that their victim was sitting there listening to them. There was no way Unknown would try to kill her without a dramatic monologue before hand. “Any second now. I will take a nap right here, don’t tempt me, I’m dead tired.”

“You think you can actually hide your fear?” 

With that sentence, Y/N knew she couldn’t anymore. Her heart dropped to the floor and she felt dizzy, her vision dotted with black spots. This couldn’t be. Of all people, it couldn’t be who she thought it was. 

“I’ll say it again. Take your final guess. And don’t you dare turn. Don’t make a move, I can see you clearly from here.” 

Trying to locate the sound was the first thing on her mind, shoved aside by the insistence of figuring out who it was. Clenching her fists, she took a deep breath and said, “You’re Yuki.” 

A pause. The fear of being wrong struck her hard and she was shaking where she stood until she heard laughter. It started off slow before getting loud enough to make her stare at the stage, her brain going haywire with possibilities. Was that Yuki? Could that be Yuki? The voice was alike, so there was a high chance of that happening. What if Yuki had a twin brother? No, that was impossible, she’d know about it. She knew everything about her team so the fact that Yuki had a twin brother couldn’t possibly escape from her knowledge. 

Could it? 

Closing her eyes, she focused on the area around her. The concert stage was certainly big and it gave Yuki--if it was him--an advantage. His voice would echo slightly, making it more difficult to find out his position. In order to be able to take him down, she needed to find that out first and then make a path to get to him. The predominant question now was if she was strong enough to handle him. If she lied to herself and said she could hold him down, she knew that there was not a snowball’s chance in hell she’d be able to do that. The only thing to do was not panic, find his weak points and attack him when he least expects it. For now, she wanted to see if her answer was right. 

If she was wrong, she knew that she’d be the one attacked first, followed by Karasuno. She could put up a fight, she just needed time. Time to stall, time to form a plan, as many as should could within a short time limit. Regret flooded through her, realizing that she never really got to say anything back to her team. The last thing she told Sakura was a lie. She was afraid. Something was going to happen her. A walk? No. It was a walk to her demise. 

“I guess you’re not as dumb as you look, Y/N. I’m pleasantly surprised.” Yuki’s slightly singsongy voice rang through the area, relaxing her the tiniest bit. She had time. She won. 

Her eyes were flickering everywhere as she did two things at once: she had to find him and she had to stall for time in order to do that. Make that three things: she needed a plan for the end result. 

“Yes, it is me. The unknown addess is me, Yuki. I guess now you’re wondering why I did what I did.” His tone of voice had a clear air of importance as if expecting Y/N to agree with him. 

In reality, Y/N couldn’t care less and she made sure her heard that. “Not really, but continue, seeing you like the sound of your own voice.”

“Not as much as you.” There was a clicking sound and Y/N could feel her blood go cold. Did he have a weapon with him? Oh no. Oh no no no. This was not part of her plan. Her only hope, in the last case resort, was that he had horrible aim. Which, she thought, he probably doesn’t. 

“So? Explain to me. Why are you doing this?” Her voice had an edge of terror and she instantly winced at the sound.

“Actually, I’d like for you to answer that. You think you’re so smart and great, but I bet you can’t answer it for me. Don’t worry. Get anything wrong and I won’t attack you.” 

Sighing, Y/N touched her right temple, her middle finger sliding down the side of her face slowly as she started thinking. Once she had an idea, she started speaking. “You have said a lot of things of your family background but not enough so as to make you seem vulnerable. That’s a sign of trauma. You hide everything behind a mask so that you can’t show what you’re actually feeling. After your failure--” She felt him tense up and that’s when she knew his guard was breaking slowly. “Your parents had considered you as such. You were no longer allowed to show bad feelings and forced to always be happy and controllable. When you saw me and you knew about my own parents, you wanted me to suffer like you did in some way because I don’t deserve what I have. I shouldn’t have gotten my position with the affection that you never received. That was unfair to you and for that, you wanted to make sure that if you couldn’t get what you wanted, no one else could. It didn’t help either that I rose to the top, thanks to Semi’s parents.” 

The gun clicked again but Y/N didn’t move. His guard was down. She could move if she wanted to. However, Yuki was one of her friends. She had to hear him out before going after him. While it was stupid to do, she had already planned her way out. All she needed was for him to talk. 

“You’re not wrong.” A laugh came out of him, but it wasn’t as boisterous as before nor was it malicious. It was the sound of someone that was tired of having nothing they did matter. “None of it. Yeah, I put a mask on. I was never allowed to be angry or sad or fearful. I was supposed to be the one that was always there, the therapist, you could say. None of you ever treated me like that. But that’s also the thing, why do you of all people get to have what I wanted? You should’ve been thrown aside.”

“I should’ve. I know.” 

“Why then? What do you have that I don’t?” For the fourth time, the gun clicked back into a deadly position. “Why is it always everyone but me? I shouldn’t be the one that’s left behind!” His voice rose into a scream, desperate and calling for help, but he was too far gone. “I’m always the one that’s not enough, I can’t even measure up to Sakura! She’s just an intern, but already everyone worships her just like they worship you! Even Karasuno, who became a prestigious company, started to love you before you had even met! Why can I never have what I deserve?!” 

A twinge of pain prodded at her heart, almost feeling sorry for him. But her life was at his mercy and there was no way she wasn’t getting out of there. “You can. You are enough, Yuki.”

“I don’t want to hear it from you! You’re the angel, the perfect one, the one that can do no wrong! Your words are meaningless!” Yuki’s voice cracked at the last word and she could sense tears emerging from him. That was it. Someone who was crying wouldn’t be able to see straight. Even a second was enough time for her to move. 

“I’m so sorry, Yuki.”

“Your apologies mean nothing to me either,” he spat, his words like venom, “especially since you were able to get what everyone dreams about, what I dreamt about. It’s better if you weren’t even here.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened and that’s when she could feel herself moving before she could think. There was a sizzling hole right where she was standing as she fled into the bushes, her heart racing so fast she couldn’t even feel it. She was positive Yuki could hear it though. 

“Where are you? Come on out, Y/N, we’re not done yet. I was the one to write what launched you, the least you could do is grant me this favor.” Yuki sounded hysterical now as he started walking. His footsteps were quiet and Y/N strained to hear him, taking out the knife from the inside of her pocket. This was it. If she messed up, she could either be in the hospital or worse. 

Something prickled at the back of her neck and she quickly left her spot. In the same place she was in, another dark hole appeared on the ground. She was glad that her reflexes were great, but she knew that this wasn’t a movie. There was no knowing if she’d make it out alive. 

“I can’t believe you. Everything you’ve ever done, all stolen. From me. Don’t you think that’s pathetic on its own?” 

No, that’s not the pathetic part, here, she thought. Trying to go after me and threaten innocent people that didn’t have anything to do with it. 

Staring around, she cursed herself for not even knowing basic knowledge of the area around her. Then again, it wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know she’d have to literally fight for her life. If only she hadn’t listened to Semi when they were little and learned how to climb trees, she’d have an edge. All she had was--

There were more footsteps coming from the opposite direction of her, the exact one she came in. She could hear Yuki say something only to be cut off with a yelp and another click, all too familiar. There was a scuffle, grunts, followed by other footsteps. 

“Y/N? Y/N, where are you?”

Those voices. They were coming from Kaori and Yukie, but how? She didn’t tell them where she’d be--that was right, she had her phone with her and her location on. This was the exact time were she was grateful she had it ahead of time. 

Stepping out into the clearing, Kaori and Yukie found her and immediately hugged her tightly. Y/N didn’t even feel herself shaking until she was in their arms, trembling with terror of what could have happened. “Oh, thank God. I didn’t--I just--” Y/N couldn’t speak, because if she kept trying, she knew she’d burst into tears. 

“We know. Don’t say anything, take your time.” Yukie said soothingly and that was enough to make Y/N bury her face in her shoulder, trying to hide the tears that were inevitably coming out. 

Behind them was Hikari pinning Yuki down, Suki pointing a knife at him. What Y/N would find out later was that Suki was the one to find him first and during the entire struggle, she had had a dagger in her hand. Yuki, however, was stronger and bent on getting his revenge. Even with those injuries, he was still trying his hardest to get out from under Hikari. Sakura was on the sides, calling the ambulance for Yuki and so that they could check on Y/N. Considering what happened to her and what she’d have to deal with later, it was better to try and see if the medics would say anything beforehand. 

Flashes of red made the entire world spin and Y/N let her managers lead her as she closed her eyes, nauseous from the spinning lights. The only thing she wanted to know was sleep. While she knew that when she woke up she’d have to deal with a ton of things, the temptation of sleep was much stronger. Once her checkup was done, she made sure to stay with Kaori, who was in the ambulance with Yuki’s unconscious body. The paramedics had said that his remaining energy had gone to his struggling and that made him lose consciousness. He’d be awake in a few hours, which would give everyone enough time to figure out their next steps. 

“This isn’t going to be pretty.” Suki mumbled to herself in Hikari’s passenger seat. 

“Yeah,” he said, his face pale as he tried to process what had just happened. “She’s not going to be the same after this.”

“We just have to do our best to help her.”

It was fortunate that Sakura was a light sleeper and Y/N had her location on at all times. They didn’t want to think about what would’ve happened if neither of these things were available to them. 

“Hey, Kaori?” Y/N asked, staring down at Yuki.

“What?”

“Do you think you can try to figure out more about him? Please?” It was clear in her voice that while she didn’t want to be anywhere near him, she wanted to know what was wrong with him, what would happen and what happened in his past. 

With a nod of assent, Kaori was also aware that Y/N wouldn’t be the same after this incident. But as she glanced at the girl next to her, she realized that she was strong enough to pull through. The contribution of time would help her be okay.

~

Originally this was gonna be in smau format but then I realized that would take away the actual feeling of suspense so ig we're having two fics in an smau <3

Taglist: @chocolaterumble @ghostdaichi @akaashikeillmepls @goopycookie @halparkebitch @nctdream-boat @laninasinnombre @nataliahaslosthershit @words-in-air @virgoamajiki @paranoid-borderline-insane @mirikusashes @mint-mai @noyasimp @24nah25 @definitely-yours @chesirecatwaltz @theydy-madamonsieur @lilsimp @eruji-chan-pb @kiraakaashi @trifliz @nightshadeshimin @kac-chowsballs @its-the-aerieljeane @hqreisin @channiechanchan @watermelon-sugar-is-my-drugs @bakugouswh0r3 @rizkei-iscurrentlydying @so-lo-stuff @jewlmin @kotarousbabyowl @lumin3xe @artemisnotfowl @random-fandom-girl-24 @darkangeldesignstudio @vhsryuu @chaotic-fangirl-blog @tycrackculture @4ck3rm4ns1mp @stupendousbonkcopland @bwnwlut @encryptpta

Send in an ask or DM me if you want to be on the taglist! Let me know if you’ve changed your URL; you will be crossed out if I am unable to tag you!

[uhhhhyandere]

If you're still doing requests how about omegaverse with omega Light and alpha m!reader who's a kickboxer. The reader's and Light's families are close and have high expectations of the two eventually marrying in the future, but the reader has no interest in being tied down and focused solely in his training and career. Lately he's noticed that some of his belongings have gone missing, like an old shirt or his boxing gloves, strangely enough the medication to help control his ruts keep (1/2)

running out quick, but writes it off as him being absentminded. One day he's forced to visit Light at his house and catches his scent forcing the reader into a rut, mating with Light all the while unaware they're under surveillance by the task force but Light finds this highly amusing. Now with mating bite and possibly pregnant, Light is tied to the reader no matter what now. (2/2)

we ain't gonna talk about how this has been sitting in my inbox for more than a year and ain't gonna talk about how i’ve almost had it done for more than a year, then forgot until i was digging through my drafts. no comment. i stink. i know, okay?!?!?!?!?!? AAAAHHH but i had fun finishing it so that’s what matters!! 

6.6k words m!reader x light :) 

warnings: smut! light is a.bottom and that's a hill i’ll die on.

Sweat, blood, and tears. It’s all you’ve ever known, and it’s all you’ve come to love and live for. The adrenaline of the ring, the quick, decisive movements, the thrill of winning, and the lessons learned from losing, it all accelerates your pulse and excites your nerves. Hard work never daunted you. You’ve learned to keep pushing, to run when you can’t walk, to fight when you’re knocked down, and to do whatever it took to come out on top. Your alpha blood craved the victory.

5am runs followed by strength training, then workouts after school was a routine you forced into your system. With your lifestyle, however, there was no other option. Strength. Flexibility. Reflexes. You needed everything to be successful. At the forefront of that “everything,” was commitment. There were things you had to miss because of training: family dinners, parties, club meetings, and more you’ve gotten an earful about for missing, but at least your family understood that boxing was your livelihood, no matter how much they were against it. It wasn’t some hobby you were going to drop when you got older. You wanted to make a career out of it, to be able to fight until you have to retire. 

Of course, that was the plan. There were things, expectations, that naturally got in the way. It wasn’t ideal when your only son wanted to be a boxer of all things. How dangerous, risky, a dream you only have as a child. Well, fuck them, you said. Your dream was going to be your reality, and you couldn’t care less who or what stood in the way. Hard work perseveres in the end. You just had to focus. To get distracted by anything was the risk of losing that future. 

The Yagami’s were a prime risk of losing that future. Your families were intertwined from before you were even born. Friends through their years of schooling and beyond. They married in the same year, moved into houses on the same block, and, of course, had their oldest child in the same year. It was like clockwork from there on out, a script to be naturally followed through the course of time. It only helped all the better when you were born an alpha and Light an omega. 

Light’s and your baby pictures were taken together. Vacations were taken together. Chief Yagami pulled strings at school so you were put into the same class, assigned the same tutor, put in the same prep course, and the same private academy. At that point, you were almost sure your parents wanted to be there when you two undoubtedly mate. Your paths were carved to be identical, linked to the very end, yet so you saw them as so incredibly different. 

However, you and Light were fundamentally different people. He was not a friend you chose, but someone who’s just been there. A constant, a tick on the back of your neck that left you with no choice but to live with its existence. You’ve come to accept the reality that he’s going to be there for the near future, the far future if your parents had anything to say about it. They and the Yagami’s had a matching plan, but while they were audibly planning your wedding, you were conniving a scheme of your own. 

The Koyanagi Invitational. Held at the beginning of January, this tournament-style invitational welcomes only the best of the best in fighters from all over Japan. The winners almost always see themselves on the international stage. It’s a nationally televised program, and you were only one win away from securing your spot in round one after your championship match for your region coming up soon. 

Your time is always dedicated to your passion, but now more than ever. Your trainer, an alum of the invitational himself, has allotted the time you desired to train in the gym at the expense of his other lessons. The trade-off was after your championship, you had to find another place for the time it will take to make up all the canceled lessons with the clients you were replacing for the time being, which shouldn’t be hard to do if—when you win the regional championship. Therefore, your time was acutely cut short for academics, social events, and everything else that was not training, but those were the sacrifices you warned everyone you would be making to come this far and reach even farther. You were not even keeping track of Kira at this point. Even that was on the backburner. What? Were they going to kill you for missing dinner with the Yagami’s for the third time this week? 

“Y/N,” your name was called. Through the surging endorphins of your body, you were able to feel good enough to answer the call from your father from the sweat you were yet to shower off. You’d rather reek on the way home rather than use the gym showers. Dropping your bag from your shoulder, you rub the muscle there as you approach the full table. “You were supposed to be home forty-five minutes ago.” You sighed, dropping your hands back to your sides. “Yeah, sorry, dad. Lost track of time. Coach was fixing my style again. Swarmer has always been good for me, I think. Just refining it.” You didn’t miss the shared look between your parents. 

“Well, it’s a good thing we scheduled this later because we knew you’d do this,” your mother says, low heat in her voice. “Get cleaned up and be down here in no more than ten minutes.” Biting your tongue, you nodded, making eye contact with Light as you turned to grab your bag and follow her request. “You could at least put jeans on.” You weren’t even down the hallway when your mother spoke again. This time, you were not being civil for the company’s sake and didn’t bother concealing your groan.  

“It’s not like we have company over.” The Yagami’s were over for dinner or you were over there at least four times a week. It would be odder to have dinner with just three instead of seven (or five, if you missed due to training or Soichiro because of the Kira case) people around the table. You pulled out the chair they left for you beside Light and lowered yourself into it, immediately taking another drink of water from the gallon water bottle you lugged around. “Or, at least, no one new.”  

“Y/N—,”

“No, he’s quite right. There’s no need to dress up for us. We’re practically family already.” Mrs. Yagami, your savior, laughed. “Light just always does,” which is wildly true. Light had a tendency to always look presentable and put-together no matter where the setting was. Late-night study sessions and other in-house cases were the only occasions you would see him clad in anything comfortable. Then, there was you, in your sweats at all times except when you were forced into your uniform at school. 

Luckily enough, the comparison game was not thrown between the two of you too often. It wasn’t necessary when your parents were convinced you would mate and live the rest of your lives together. An unspoken truth that simmered in the air whenever you all got together. 

“How is your training going anyway, Y/N?” Soichiro was an odd sight at the table anymore. The Kira case was an equivalent time commitment to your championship training, (except he gets paid to almost die. You get into fights willingly) and it was more and more late nights on the investigation team.

Especially now, of all times, with the dead FBI agents from the United States the news mentioned one morning, he was busier than ever. 

“Gets harder and harder, Mr. Yagami. Though, I’m keeping up. With the championship on the seventh, I can’t afford not to. The guy’s a monster from what I’ve heard. Tomorrow we’re watching his match from the semi’s.” Your mother cleared her throat. 

“Soichiro, sorry. We just prefer not to talk about business at the dinner table. Our son has a tendency to talk about fighting at all hours of the day, so we cherish this time where we don’t have to hear about it.” Ignoring her blatancy, you took another drink. 

“Well, I like to hear about it.” It was Light who spoke up. “It’s his passion, with all due respect. Do you not see it when his eyes light up when he describes his feelings or explains his regime? He’s someone with an innate gift he wants to pursue. Not to mention the strength he possesses to live this lifestyle. If anything, you should be proud to hear him talk about it, the time he dedicates. It’s nothing short of awe-striking, what he can do.” Your skin feeling unbearably hot, you blinked a few times and hoped to hide from the admirable line of defense Light brought up for you. Peeking from your pit of embarrassment, you met his eyes, bright and unabashed, and you smiled a silent thank you to him. He, without moving a single facial feature, accepted it. 

Instead of seeing the literal meaning of his words, you knew your parents saw the underlying tone of them. Their son being stood up for by Light Yagami. It must mean Light cared for him. Another step towards the future they have been quietly planning, so they smiled, and you wondered if Light saw through it just as easily as you did. 

He and you never sat down and had a conversation about your parents’ expectations. Whether it was reluctance or the pure awkwardness of it all, it never came up when you were together. It didn’t matter, though, because if you could avoid it, which you could easily with your training, you would. At all costs. You did not have the time for that and would not for anytime soon. 

After dinner, Light and you were pushed to do the dishes, as you always were if you were present. He washed, and you dried and put them away. In the midst of the sink running and the clinking of dishes, you found yourself with the desire to properly thank him outside of the small look you gave him before, but thought twice, three times about it at risk of looking too thankful and soft. “Just say it,” he spoke instead. 

“What?”  

“You look like you have something to say. You’ve glanced at me twenty-three times in the past seven minutes.” Despite the small grin on his face, you still couldn’t help but consider saying “it’s nothing,” which he would undoubtedly disbelieve, and let it blow over. Knowing him, though, he would twist it out of your system anyway, like a lawyer rinsing the truth in a cross-examination. 

“Just—uh thanks, man. For before.” Light laughed, scrubbing in the curve of a bowl. 

“You don’t have to thank me for something like that. You’re the type of person society needs, and to have someone talk down at you for being excited about your dreams is wrong. I was only doing the right thing, and I’d do it again.” You avoided his gaze as he explained, suddenly invested in drying the utensils one-by-one. 

“Well, yeah, means a lot.” 

Was Light’s smell always so nice? Yes, you weren’t going to fool yourself that this was the first time you’ve noticed. You’ve been nearby during one of his heats, and you remember nearly falling out into your own primal senses because of it. If it weren’t for your own reluctant self-control, you’re not sure where that night would have gone to. You’ve managed to deduce his smell to be some sort of chestnut, brown sugar mix. Intoxicating, but undeniably would foster an unwarranted reaction from you if you were too close during those times. 

Not to mention that you’ve noticed Light’s good looks sporadically throughout the past. While he plays tennis, focuses on a particularly confusing calculus problem, biting his lip and twiddling the pencil between his digits, or just smiles at you from across the hall at school, you’ve acknowledged it, but never let it grow to anything else. You didn’t want to. Sure, he was handsome, but you had a million other things to focus on than to be tied down by any sort of relationship. Besides, if worse comes the worse, your self-control is unmatched from your countless hours of training. No single individual could sway you from your path.

“It’s really nothing. Like I said, don’t mention it.” And you didn’t plan on it. Light stayed to finish up homework as well as teach you a good two-thirds of the material before telling you he was heading out on his short walk home after you returned from a quick bathroom break. It was getting close to the bedtime that enabled you to get your full eight hours before 5am.

The closer the championship came, the less you saw of people. You ate breakfast and left earlier, came to school right from the gym, (yes, you resigned yourself to shower in the disgusting stalls) went back to the gym after school, and got home later. It gave you less time to do homework or hang out with anyone that wasn’t your trainer. Good thing you had your good friend Light who insisted it was fine to stay late in your room and catch you up on what you were behind in. 

It only made sense, then, with your exponentially increasing schedule that things started to become hectic. Of course, you were missing more of what you usually missed, but most recently you’ve begun to misplace things. A t-shirt you knew you had in the drawer, your go-to nighttime sweatshirt, a pair of shorts. You figured some might be at the gym or dropped in your transit from one place to another, but your sweatshirt never left your house and you sure as hell never left it in the hamper to get washed. 

It was just your busy schedule, you and your parents agreed. You needed to step back and relax if you were beginning to lose things. Plus, you were hardly sleeping with your anxiety building for the coming fight and the late nights you were practically forcing Light to pull with you.

“You don’t have to do this with me all the time,” you mentioned one night. “If I’m messing with your schedule or anything, I know it’s probably super inconvenient for you to do this so often. I never asked—.”

“You didn’t have to,” he answered. “It’s no trouble. I offered, after all. It’s not like I see you much outside of these sessions anyway. Even at school, you seem to always be in a hurry. I’m actually pretty worried about you. How much sleep are you getting? Are you eating enough? Drinking?” You waved him off. 

“You know I always do. I have to eat and drink enough to do this in the first place. I don’t carry a gallon bottle around for the gains, after all.”  

“And your sleep?” You glanced towards your window. 

“Needs work these days.” A small whack resounded off your temple. Surprised, you watched the weapon be flipped between the assaulter’s fingers in front of you. “What was that for?” 

“Don’t be stupid. I get you want to work hard for your match coming up but killing yourself with all this hard work and no rest will undoubtedly lead to your defeat. It’s common sense. You should know that more than anyone.” You set your pen on the desk, the fatigue weighing your eyes down. “Even your dark circles are even showing.” You relaxed your shoulders. “You don’t have to put up your tough guy front with me.”  

“You don’t have to put up your perfect student façade either.” You paused. “Sorry. Uncalled for. You’re right, as usual. I love it though. I want to be the best, and this guy I’m coming up against? He’s a maniac. This is the first tournament he hasn’t gone below the belt or spit on an opponent. Who knows when he’ll start, though? I have to be quick. This fight cannot last long, or this guy will injure me. I can’t afford that if I’m moving on to Koyanagi.” You laughed. “You’re really right. You know I’ve been losing stuff left and right? Old shirt here, that black sweatshirt I wear all the time? Gone. No idea. Some tape in my bag. It’s like some leprechaun is stealing my stuff.” 

“They’ll turn up. Maybe if you get a proper night’s sleep tomorrow and train only in the afternoon, you’ll remember where you left them.” You groaned, stretching in your spot and allowing yourself to slouch against the wall you leaned against and to shut your eyes. “Hey, at least finish this last problem and sleep in your bed.” 

“Don’t want to. I’ll sleep right here.” 

And you did, because Light Yagami was too weak to lift you up.

A sore back and neck now healed, you found yourself wrapping your hands for the long-awaited match in the locker room. Heart already beginning to pound, you tried to find solace in the silence around you, but all you could hear was the rhythm against your ribs. 

“You ready, kid?” Your coach asked from the entranceway. “Two minutes.” You nodded, reaching into your bag and finding odd space in there. No fucking way. Though your old boxing gloves were present, your current ones were not. God, another thing my dumbass lost. There was no time to sit and shit on yourself. I just lost the fucking match for myself, damn it! You didn’t think about it long before you exited the locker room and into the blur of voices and music on the other side. Your opponent stood on the other side of the room, taller and wider than yourself. “Size ain’t nothing kid. Put your confidence into work too here. Don’t forget the mental part of the fight, ya hear me?” 

You didn’t. In the crowd, you saw your family and the Yagami’s looking either nervous or excited. The camera crews around swung cameras across the area of the mat. As your name was announced and you entered the ring, the lights began to move around you. The crowd cheered and yelled in excitement. Your coach encouraged you from behind you.

Sweat, blood, and tears. It is what has gotten you this far, and it will continue to bring you higher. You did not train and work to lose right where you should be beginning. As your opponent entered from the other corner, the familiar sense of adrenaline rushed your veins. Yes, you could do this. 

Ten  

Nine 

Eight 

Seven

Six 

Five

Four 

Three 

Two 

One 

K.O.

You woke up in your bed the next morning. A white ceiling, white walls beeping a steady heartbeat around you. Then, it all came coming back. The elbow, all the dirty moves used against you pounded in your skin. Out of everything, your head ached the most. Tiny explosions cascaded your brain as you rolled your head along your pillow. 

“You’re awake!” It was your father. “Your mother’s worried sick. That stupid asshole. Why they didn’t disqualify him after the first dirty hit, I’ll never know, but you had a fair fight.” You squinted through the migraine.

“…Did I win?”

“From a DQ, yeah. Hardly counts, and I’m sure you hardly feel like it. The guy was a nutcase. The kind that takes out their aggression through the sport rather than respecting it. You’re gonna be out for the count for a while, you know that, right? Grade three concussion. You’re going to have to take a break. Me and your trainer already called every gym around and put you on the blacklist—,”

“But dad—,”

“Nope, I’m not going to hear it. You are not allowed to even think about working out or training. We are going to keep our eyes on you at all times because we all know how you think and what you’re going to try to pull. Recovery is the most important part of an injury. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll never get better in time for the invitational. Got it?” You guffawed. 

“You can’t keep eyes on me at all times.” 

“Not me, personally, but there is someone with a similar schedule to you that you happen to go to school with and happens to live around the block.” You glared at the man. 

“You recruited Light into helping you, didn’t you?” He shrugged and took the steps forward to stand at the foot of the bed. 

“It’s more so he volunteered. He knows just as well as the rest of us you need to be watched or you’ll train at some faraway gym or secluded area. It’s for your best interest. You’ll go to school with him and he’ll take you back to their place until we get home—.”

“I don’t need a goddamned babysitter,” you bit out. 

“On the contrary, would you not sneak off to train despite your condition?” You shook your head. You were in no condition to be having an argument, yet you stood your ground. 

“It’s the lack of trust for me.”

“Yeah, we don’t. Not when it comes to putting your health first. Light was even telling us about how you’re behind in school too. With a concussion, you’ll need help anyway. Discussion over.” If your headache could get any worse, you were pretty sure it would have. 

Not that you thought that he was kidding, but you weren’t expecting the doorbell to ring so early as you brushed your teeth, a towel wrapped around your waist from your shower. Spitting quickly, you left wet footprints across the wood floor as you approached the door. 

“By god,” you muttered, opening the door. “You really were enlisted, huh?” Light shrugged. 

“Well, by the looks of it, you didn’t go out earlier to work out than usual in order to look like you didn’t, unless you’re showering from a quick one between when your parents left for work and I got here.” You rolled your eyes, opening the door wider and stepping aside to allow him room to enter.

“Funny. No, I just got up. Guy really did me in one, and you don’t actually have to listen to my parents. You know I’m not going to go do anything that can put my recovery at risk.” He slid his bag off his shoulder and set it on the couch. 

“I know you, and the second you don’t wake up in pain, you’re gone. Sitting back and doing nothing kills you, after all. I don’t need to have known you my entire life to tell you that.” The side of your lip quirked. 

“Yeah, whatever. Let me get some clothes on,” you turned around and returned to the bathroom. Putting on the folded clothes you left in the corner, you grabbed your bag from your bedroom and met with the boy digging into his bag. “Ready, babysitter? I’m going to call you that all day, by the way. No matter who we’re with.”

“Great. I can’t wait.” …

It wasn’t so bad, having a sitter. You mean, you were with Light when you weren’t training, anyway. Going to his house every day after school was even normal, mind the odd words being thrown around the school by the observers. No one confronted you about it, which came as no surprise. Who was going to confront a boxer about those kinds of rumors? 

Light didn’t seem to mind, either. As one of the top bachelors of the whole school, you were sure he had to be aware of them. Just like your parents’ desired future for the two of you, you never spoke of it. Perhaps he was as nervous to bring it up as you were, or at least as reluctant. Still, nothing would change. If he would not speak of it, neither would you.

You never suspected, however, for that dam of silence to ever break in either of you. …

It was nearing the end of your recovery when the only thing between you and getting back in the ring was a doctor’s okay. Your parents and the Yagami’s were going out for a “night on the town,” quote-on-quote. Sayu was at a sleepover, and your parents ordered you to make your way over to Yagami household. 

“It’s getting close to you being cleared. No point in ruining it now, Y/N. Just go. You probably have work he has to teach you anyway.” You glared at your parents as they stood adamant. “Go. We will have him drag you there.” “As if he could,” you muttered.

“Let me in!” Two minutes of knocking, you resigned to lifting up the third rock from the right and grabbing the key from the underside. After you broke in three times in a week at age seven, you would think they’d change the key’s location. 

You set your possible overnight bag on the couch. On the main floor, it was quiet, which wasn’t all surprising. Light has been spending more time in his bedroom than ever. That was saying a lot, itself, because he was always in there in the first place. Perhaps he wasn’t expecting you. You grinned.

Footsteps light, you tiptoed up the stairs and turned the corner. There were small noises coming from the other side of his door that you could hear from the far side of the hall. As you creep closer, you couldn’t necessarily distinguish what the noises were. Nonetheless, it was clue enough he was too preoccupied to notice the huge scare you’re about to give him. 

Hand on the doorknob, you turned it and screamed as you entered.

Though, turns out you were the one that got more scared. Not in fright, but of shock. Light, however, remained composed as ever despite the position you caught him in.

His smell overpowered the room. You nearly were kicked back from it. Back bent upwards off the bed, his mouth agape with small guttural moans and breathless gasps escaping it, all while his hand worked every so slowly stroking his cock. His other hand fisted what you recognized as your lost sweatshirt covering his nose and mouth. Above the material, his eyes were trained on yours, head rolled to the side as his motion continued. 

“Jesu—what? Is that my…” Looking around the slightly torn up room, you recognized t-shirts, tape, and even your current pair of boxing gloves lying around the room or on his bed. “I-I don’t…” His fist threw the sweatshirt to the side as the hand came down hard on the bed. 

“You don’t—mmh—what? Get it? I know you’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer at times, but you can put this together, can’t—uh—you?” His grin grew wider and more wicked as he took in your reaction. “I’ll say, you have an unspeakable amount of willpower, but I think—ah—I’ve had enough of it.” 

“What do you mean? Did—did you plan this?! To trigger my fucking—ugh.” He rolled his eyes. Whether it was from pleasure or annoyance, you couldn’t tell, and your mind wasn’t really in a state to think about it under the current conditions. 

He had you trapped. His smell corrupted the very air around you and seeped into your skin. It was overpowering. You could feel your rut, your ever so clandestine, rut-stained self, emerging from its thick chains. You couldn’t even take a step backward or turn to open the unlocked door. All of your nerves screamed at you to take him. To make him scream so that all he could say, all he could even think about, was you, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t. 

Because this isn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want to be linked with him outside of your parents’ desire for you and him to be wed one day. This was the path to that future, the future that distracted you from your goal.

Light shifted to stand above your lack and bent form that was on its last legs before the rut would take over. A hand softly stroked your head, as a parent would stroke a child’s, and set itself under your chin. It nudged upwards, forcing your gaze to his. At such close vicinity, the scent, his scent, him, it was all you could perceive. 

“You really are the worst. The epitome of holding yourself—your desires—back. I know you don’t want what our parents want. I know the thought of something tearing you from your dream kills you. I know that you think that this,” he motioned between the two of you, “would be the exact definition of a distraction, so you’ve pushed it all down. Never acknowledging its existence. Well, do you acknowledge it now?” 

You didn’t answer. You were nervous about what would come out of your mouth if anything did. Your willpower would die with the next exhale you took. Annoyed with your last stand, he dragged his hand from your neck to your shoulder and shoved your weak state down so you were on your knees. He leaned down so his breath ghosted over your lips.

“You really put on a show for me, you know. Answering the door with only your towel on back then. Deep down, I think you want this too. Deep down, you know that this was bound to happen. Just like your pain in a fight, you ignore it. You’re not a complicated individual to figure out. Just give in. What’s the harm in letting someone else take the reins for once?” He stared down at you, you felt it, but you refused to meet it, choking on shallow breathes in order not to inhale his scent too much. You remained silent, using your leftover strength to power onto your two feet. 

“Not going to talk? Fine. Your mouth could—,” you didn’t even allow him the time to finish the sentence or pull through on what you knew was going to be his statement as you rushed to shove him rough enough to force him to fall on his ass on the floor next to the bed. He looked up at you from his seated position, eyes wide and excited. You seemed more shocked than him and took a step backward towards the door. His eyes, yellowed and urgent, followed your movements. 

Swallowing, you willed yourself to extend your hand down as a form of apology: one you were unable to voice in current conditions. Light’s hand, soft and delicate, grasped is softly at first, allowing you to lift him to stand just over the bed, then squeezed, brought his other hand to your forearm. and tugged your unsuspecting form onto the bed with him, so you unwillingly straddled his legs. 

He was quick to surge upward and lock his arms around your neck. Meeting his lips was kissing the devil himself: everything about it was all-consuming, hot, wrong. Light did not start out slow, just as he was with everything else. With guns blazing, his tongue tore open your lips and invaded your now open maw with vigor and power your conscious self could not meet. He brought his hands to your ass and tugged you forward to push your bodies tight together. Breaking only to breathe and begin to force your shirt up your abdomen with his cold fingers. You helped. God, you shouldn’t have, but your clothes were getting so hot. As soon as the article was off, Light latched to your neck, teeth quick to bite. You gasped, tilting your head back to reveal more skin to him. He brought his hand up and tugged on your hair, eliciting another groan from your lips. 

“For someone who abhorred the thought of us together, you seem to be enjoying yourself.” His mouth continued down your form, biting the skin, and then licking the newly affected area. By now, you could feel your length suffocating even under the looseness of sweatpants. The undeniable urge for relief, for him, the one who was adjusting you to stand in front of him. An obvious, wordless request to rid yourself of your confines. “Go on. I’m waiting,” he said, leaning back to show his nude-self off. His cock glistening with a delightful mix of slick and precum. Inviting. Warning. Waiting. Jesus, you needed your fucking pants off! 

Hurrying to get your legs bare, you allowed your own slick to make its first drops onto the floor. Light did not make any moves, only locking his eyes onto yours. A silent argument, but you were in no mood to trifle in such affairs with your mind clouded. Surging forward, you would have been able to straddle him once more would it not be for his hand solidly placed on your abdomen. “I said, I’m waiting, you sex-craved beast. Tell me how much you need this. How much you want to be mine. To follow the path carved for you with me. I have enough here to get me through my heat, but you don’t get ruts too often, do you?” Why and how this twig held so much authority, you would never know. 

“Just let me—,”

“Let you?” He laughed. “Do you think you’re the one in charge here? What? You think because you’re physically stronger, because you’re an alpha, that you get dominance here?” His eyes, though yellow, spoke true on his words. They demanded compliance. “Now, be a good boy, and beg to fuck me. Beg to stick your cock inside me.” To stress his point, he ground upwards ever so slightly. You hissed at the contact. 

“God, please just let me—please just—fuck. Light, I need to fuck you. I need to take you, to mate you, to—fuck—I want you to scream for me, and only me. I want your throat raw from how loud and how much you scream for me.” You gripped the headboard above him while your other hand trailed down his lithe body coated in sweat until it reached his hole. His slick dripped from there due to his heat so that your finger slipped right in. Light moaned. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Please,” you slipped a second, then the third digit in. Light’s teeth dug into his bottom lip as his back arched to meet the thrust of your fingers. 

“Shit, it feels so good, Y/N, alpha. Go on. Mate me. Be mine forever just as I’d be yours.” You adjusted yourself to settle comfortably between his legs and used your hands to lift them, bending him in half to expose himself to you. You hissed as his first squeeze around you before you continued to sink in. Shared moans filled the room as you cursed out for each other. “Yes, feel how tight I am for you, how your cock was meant for me.” Heat shot through every nerve fiber of your being, and you did not bother to begin your thrust languidly. Instead, you rushed to build to a quick, pounding pace. Your rut pushing you to go deeper, and faster as he tightened around your length. Your hips met his groan with an audible smack, and, at a certain angle, Light cried out. “What are you… waiting for…? Bite… me. Claim me, you beast.” 

You could barely hear his words through your focus, your feeling, and, after a short while, even Light could not manage words. Only gasps, moans, and a few small screams escaped his lips and you sought your release. Closer, and closer, and closer… fuck. You ground your pelvis into his. 

“Shit, I’m gonna—oh, fuck,” you whispered, a quiet worship into the air as you allowed yourself to empty within him. You pulled out slowly, watching small amounts of liquid viscously drool out. Light’s skin was flushed deeply red, sweat glistening off his skin, and cock red, pulsing, and heavy against his torso. His labored breaths from his wide, open mouth forced his stomach to rapidly grow and shrink before he quickly regained himself and focused his eyes on you.

“What? Do you think I’m done with you?” He smirked, still breathing heavily, chest rising and falling. “Come here.” You let his legs go to allow him to surge forward and capture your lips with his own. “I’m still rock hard. Why don’t you do down there and do something about it, hm?” Light supported his point by guiding your hand to grasp his cock. “Go on.” 

His scent was all-consuming. Your nose trailing the skin of his cock as it followed your tongue up and down his length. You swirled your tongue around this head while your hand worked the base of his cock. “Eyes on me, alpha. Eyes on your omega, now.” Yellowed eyes dared you to look away. “Go on, and take me in.” Light gasped as you swallowed him. “Fuck, fuck, yeah. Now, suck. Yes. Just like that. Bob your head—just like,” he grasped your head and guided your movements, “that, yes. Damn, you’re a terribly slow study with math, but fuck, you learn to suck cock quickly.”

You followed his instructions, hand lightly teasing his balls, mouth taking him deep then pulling back, until you began to move on your own volition. “Oh, yes. I’m gonna- fuck. You better fucking swallow all of me. I don’t want to see a single drop on the bed.” Light watched with sick delight as you struggled to take his spend in. He was quick to reach down when you retracted your mouth, sealing your jaw shut with his hand until he saw your adam’s apple bob. “Oh, good boy. Now,” ignoring your painfully—once again—hard cock, he pulled you back up, “claim me. Bite me, alpha. Do it.” 

“N-no, I can’t.” 

“You can and you will. Go ahead.” Light moved his locks and stretched his neck out to you. There was nothing more you wanted to do than sink your teeth into the smooth stretch, to have your scent follow him as he walked around the school every day. “Bite me, Y/N. Do it now,” and you did. Light howled in pleasure as copper filled your mouth. You licked the raw skin before sinking you teeth in deeper and sucking what you can. 

“Light,” you pulled back, eyes blown wide. “I—,” he shushed you by tightly gripping your cock with a wide smile. 

“It all worked perfectly,” he said, beginning to stroke your length in tandem with his words. “I thought replacing your gloves would cause you to lose, to grieve, to stay here, but when I heard of your opponent and talked with him just a bit before your match, angering him about what kind of person you were, I had to. I had to.” You bit your bottom lip, unable to articulate words as he picked up his pace, tightened and loosened his grip, and brought in his other hand. “It hurt to see you injured, but I had to what had to be done. I needed you to make me yours. You don’t belong with anyone else besides me. Your dreams, your work ethic, your body, your mind, they’re all mine, and now, with this,” he motions to the raw, bloodied skin of his neck, “my plan has come to fruition beautifully. It’s like the universe deemed it so.” Your breathing escalated. His thumb moved to tease the head of your cock. “You’re all,” he laughed, “fucking mine.” 

He met your lips the same time your release spilled into the open air. “Now,” he leaned back, “let’s keep going, hm?”

[sebbybooks]

Never Mine

Sebastian Stan x Fanfiction

Part One

"With my dog as my witness, to whoever was riding my ass if they didn't back off my bumper I was going to stop in the middle of the road and rip their windshield wipers completely off!"

That type of anger coiled around me like a snake, because there was nothing that bugged me more than someone driving bumper to bumper. The long and exasperated breath I just released helped ease the tension out of my body temporarily. Just in time for reason to settle in. Though in reality it wasn't like I was actually going to jump out of my car and confront this road demon. Who clearly needed to take a course on etiquettes of the road. What I did know was that whoever was behind the wheel of the car had headlights that were so blinding I am sure extraterrestrials in space could spot them.

Trying to find the calm in the situation I focused on the road ahead of me. What little road I could see for that matter. Which wasn't exactly much. I had checked the forecast earlier in the day with the report of it showing that there was to be only clear and blue skies. By the amount of downpour before me you would think there was a tear in the sky if that was how rain fell. I just needed to hang tight for a few more miles until I reached my exit to stop for the night.

I had been driving for nine consecutive hours and it wasn't until the third hour I realized I was not cut out for long distance driving. The plane ticket I turned down from my father was starting to look like a missed opportunity. I opted out for Cooper's sake. I just rescued the little guy a few short weeks ago and I didn't have the heart to leave him alone so soon.

Despite having only six more hours of this painful drive I needed out of my car. A hot shower and a bed was calling my name like a siren's call was to a dazed sailor at sea. I was fervidly drawn to it. Granted, I wasn't exactly going the speed limit in my own defense. Simply because I chose to be a cautious driver not a careless one unlike the dip shit behind me. Cooper and I were going to get to Sonoma, California in one piece if I had anything to do with it! I had no intention to speed in the rain even if it annoyed the person behind me. After all I was driving down a one lane road there was literally nothing else I could do but drive forward.

Taking a glance up at my trusty Garmin my gps projected that at this rate I wouldn't make it to my hotel for another hour and a half. Ahead of me the sky was starting to look like a terrifying shade of gray and to top it off the dismal weather was becoming more and more hard to drive in. I could barely see the paint on the pavement. My defrosters seemed to have given up on me as I began to notice that my rearview mirror fogged up as though it was twilight hour.

I needed to pull over to try to wait out the heavy rainfall. The only problem was that I did not know where I was nor could I see where the road even had an end. The cheap gas station coffee was starting to wear off and the pep talks could no longer motivate me. The words of encouragement quickly transitioned into self deprecating quips of "I can not fucking do this!"

I was too far from home to turn back now and hearing a lecture from my dad despite being well beyond the ages of even receiving one, certainly would not stop him from scolding at my absence. I am more than certain that fiancée number three would not mind if I missed their prenuptial celebration. Especially if arriving on time meant I would be showing up dismembered. It was official I was going to die in this storm.

All of sudden like I called upon a bad omen my tiny Kia Forte jerked forward. I thought I accidentally stomped on the gas pedal too hard without realizing it. When it happened again I knew exactly what it was. Clearly the driver had mistaken this for a game of bumper cars. I laid the palm of my hand on the center of my steering wheel and relentlessly pressed my horn. Not sure what that was going to necessarily ward off , but I had to try something in the efforts that they would leave me alone.

Cooper's head shot up from his bed in the backseat. He looked just as displeased and annoyed as I felt. Why wouldn't they slow down? Is the question I could not figure out. I don't know if it was all the Stephen King that I read, but my paranoia was increasing as I started to settle on the possibility that they were now following me.

Maybe I was tired?

Maybe my imagination truly was getting the best of me?

Or maybe whoever that person was also suddenly decided to take the same random exit as I was taking.

I didn't think. I veered my car off to the right and got on the first breakaway from this seemingly endless road. I had no idea where I was headed at this point and neither did my Garmin. It made multiple attempts to reroute itself, but even that could not locate where I was. I took an unexpected detour by driving off into the middle of nowhere with a now stalker in my midsts.

Adrenaline now filling up my bloodstream. I gave my steering wheel the death grip and drove as fast as the tire tracks of my car would guide me. On a midsize billboard to my left I saw a logo for a gas station and a non franchised bed & breakfast saying it was right up the road. I was taking a chance by trusting that the establishment was clean and safe. I just needed to go where a crowd of people would be. The battery on my phone was likely dead and yes this was now becoming the opening sequence for a King novel. I'd laugh if my heart wasn't fluttering as fast a hummingbird's wing.

I managed to make out lights ahead as I neared the petrol station first. However, it just about looked abandoned. The dim white lights flickered around the desolate parking lot. I saw only two freight trucks parked side by side and I immediately thought

. . .hell no.

I kept driving forward in the hopes that the bed and breakfast sign wasn't last updated in the early nineties. I nearly combusted from relief when I finally saw it. Several cars and mini vans lined up with people inside of them probably doing the same thing that I was. I didn't plan on staying the night I just planned on staying long enough to hide out from the rain and from the trouble that still followed my trails.

Luckily there were free parking spaces close to the entrance. It was still hard to make out what the place truly looked like. From my view in the car the rain made it look like it was a melting oil painting. In a swift motion I put my car in park, turned my ignition off, reached in the back to grab Cooper and grabbed ahold of my purse in the other arm. I bolted out of my car for the door.

It felt as though I was running through a hurricane. I was completely drenched. I could barely keep my eyes from closing as I ran up the slippery steps in my worn Toms praying that I wouldn't eat concrete. There was an awning over the door that offered relief from the storm's cruel embrace . Looking down at the fuzzy brown welcome mat I noticed a quote was scribbled out on it.

"some beautiful paths

can't be discovered without getting lost."

As I reached for the doorknob I couldn't help but notice the intricate design. I'm aware of how wrong the timing was to fawn over something so utterly mundane. I just could not conceal the fact that I was a sucker for antiques roadshow and architectural designing. Growing up with a dad that built and reconstructed vintage furniture one might pick up on the interest. It was a white privacy doorknob with hand painted roses, with a Victorian long plated silver keyhole. The sound of distant car door slamming snapped me out of my daze. I turned my head in the direction of the sound low and behold it was that same car. Crazy thing is I didn't see anyone by it.

Instinct guided me forward considering my brain was scrambling with worry. I ushered myself inside and it was as though I fell into a pink wonderland. From the pink carpet to the multicolored pink pinstripe wallpaper. Hot pink roses seemed to have been the main theme for the lobby. There were various black and silver picture frames with photos of pink roses hanging on every wall. On every surface my eyes could catch, red and pink plastic roses sat in circular olive green vases. It was certainly....something. I thought I was doing the most logical thing by coming inside, but it quickly dawned on me that I saw no one around.

"Hello?" I cautiously called out.

I paced myself as I walked up to the front desk, simultaneously looking around for any potential red flags. My right arm was going numb, my little guy was tiny but felt like I was lugging around a sack of potatoes. I wandered away from the desk to poke my head around the place. There was a entry way that led to a dinning area with a handful of seats adorned with of course pink table settings. I was standing next to a spiral staircase to what I assumed led to the rooms. There was only one door that held a sign for a bathroom. Perhaps there was a power outlet I could use long enough to charge my phone to call my dad.

The same door I walked in swung open and droplets of rain was blown in by the wind. A shiver rolled down my spine, sending a myriad of sparks that shot through my body. Turning around a strange sensation filled the pits of my stomach. It felt like butterflies and moths had taken up space there. Excitement and fear. I just stood completely mute like I had never seen a man before. Well to my defense I hadn't seen ones that look like him in my town. Without even seeing my reflection I had an inkling as to the state of my appearance. I was utterly perplexed by how he pulled off the kissed by an ocean look. To embarrass myself further of course my dog chose that moment to shake water off of his fur on to me.

"Really Coop?" I tried to hide my disgust, but he got it around the corner of my mouth! The good looking stranger offered a half smile that probably pitied my overall state.

"Is the black Kia parked out yours?" Even his voiced oozed sex appeal. He angled his frame so he could face me. There was about an arm length of distance between us. His eyes practically bore into my face I suppose waiting for me to say something. Must have been the buzzcut, the facial scuff, or the fact that some creep was still parked outside waiting to do who knows what. But my thoughts were not where they should have been.

I blinked and straightened up my posture. "Yeah why?" I finally answered.

It was a causal question, yet it felt completely random like there was something else to it.Neither of us spoke for a few seconds.The silence was so thick it would take a hacksaw to cut through.

"Well I'll be damned! I didn't think I would get to see you until after you got back from your trip in California." A woman most likely in her late sixties came rushing down the stairs for him. She draped her arms around his body clearly taking him by surprise. Her cotton candy colored pink bouffant made up for most of her height. Sebastian returned her embrace. Although it looked extremely awkward considering he stared at me the whole time and I stood there watching.

"Moe's old truck didn't give you too much trouble did it?" She asked.

"No it still got some life left in it." Sebastian's jaw went slack and he looked from her to me once more. Only this time he was looking at me with a cold glare. Realization suddenly crashed into me like a wild horse.

[charming-charlie]

Lunch Break

Title // Lunch Break

Pairing // Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings // Jealousy mostly? Little bit of teasing and some implied oral too.

Summary // Jealousy rears its ugly head at Station 118.

Word Count // 2.5k

Prompt // Buck's reaction when you ignored him because of something // “Come and sit on my lap, baby.” with bucky pls // “I wish I could tell the world.”- “Go ahead.”- “OKAY WORLD GUESS WHAT *insert name here* IS MY FREAKING BOYFRIEND/DATEFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND AND I REALLY-”*A puts hand over B’s mouth*- “I did not mean literally!” reader x evan omg

It was a perfect, beautifully sunny day in Los Angeles. The birds were singing, the air was warm, and life was good. Then again, you were just in a good mood. You had a romantic meal with your boyfriend, Evan Buckley, and he spent the night at your apartment. Nothing sexual happened, unfortunately, but you were okay with that. The dinner was followed by some hard yet serious conversations where the two of you let everything out and shared the most intimate thoughts. By the time you checked the clock, it was two in the morning and Buck had to get some sleep. He had an early shift the next morning.

When you woke up, he wasn’t there, but he did leave a fresh pot of coffee and a sweet text message saying he was looking forward to seeing you later. You figured it should be sooner rather than later, and you took the rest of the morning to shower, get dressed, and go through your morning routine.

It was around early afternoon when you arrived at the firehouse. Apparently, the crew just returned from a call. Chimney was putting equipment away and when he spotted you, his face melted immediately into shock. “Oh no. Who told you?” Chim asked once you finally reached within earshot.

The phrase lingered with a certain dread and you stopped in your tracks to look at him. Giving him a slight head tilt to emphasize your curiosity, you let out a confused smile. “Told me what?”

Chim couldn’t look more like a turtle if he tried. His shoulders hunched as if he were trying to hide or disappear. He turned back to the equipment, grabbing two very menacingly looking hammers and hooking them into one of the compartments on the firetruck. “Told you about our call. Buck and the girl,” he mumbled into the air. You had to strain to hear him, since he was avoiding your gaze completely.

“What girl?” you couldn’t help but ask.

Chimney pursed his lips and he closed his eyes. It was almost like he was trying to rack his brain for something else to say to you, but he sighed in defeat. He turned to look at you. “Buck scored a girl’s number on the last call. He didn’t deny it or said he was seeing someone.”

You were taken aback by that and the wheels in your brain were already turning. You couldn’t see Buck doing that, not after how close the two of you grew, and the sweet text message that was still on your phone. Yet Chim looked worried. Not for Buck but for you. You couldn’t help but think there was some truth to what Chim was telling you, especially given the fact that he was a terrible liar. This didn’t seem like a lie.

The more you thought about it, the more upset you became. Even though he spilled his guts last night, talking about how he transformed from Buck 1.0 to Buck 2.0, maybe that was all an act. Maybe that was just his move, a ploy to get unsuspecting women to fall head over heels for him. Maybe he was Buck 1.0 the entire time.

You nod at Chim, your way of thanking him without saying anything, and you turn on your heels to leave the firehouse. You tried to ignore Chim’s stare into your back but soon got distracted by seeing Buck walk toward you with a smile. He looked so pleasantly happy that for a second, you wanted to believe he has truly changed, and yet you could not bring yourself to smile back.

“Hey babe. Miss me already?” Buck asked you. He reached out to touch you, but you immediately pulled back and walked around him, like he wasn’t even there.

The smile fell from Buck’s face as you walked away from him. You didn’t even acknowledge him. It kind of hurt when you didn’t text him back but now you’re straight up ignoring him? What gives?

He followed the trail that you left behind, and it led him to Chimney, who was still busy restocking the truck with fresh supplies. “Hey Chim, do you have any idea why Y/N seems mad at me? She just walked off without saying anything.”

Chim shut one of the compartment doors with a loud thud, causing Buck to jump at the metallic sound. “I told her about the girl’s number you got earlier,” Chim said. He was now also avoiding Buck’s gaze. His eyes were staring right at the side of the truck, as though it were fascinating and capturing his attention.

“That—wait, what? That girl gave me her number to give to Eddie,” Buck went on the defense, looking defeated and upset, “how did she—I don’t understand. Y/N thinks I would do that?”

It sounded like he was talking to himself now and Chim used that opportunity to slip away and find somewhere to hide. Sure, he may have made a situation worse by not fully understanding what happened, but it was best to get out of there while Buck sorted through his thoughts. Buck thinking could be dangerous sometimes.

He whipped out his phone and starting texting you at lightning speed. He would send one sentence after another instead of a whole wall of text. He did this, knowing you would get every single notification. Your phone would constantly buzz from the incoming messages. You’d have to talk to him.

An hour went by and Buck was running out of things to send to you. He started sending every emoji individually, one by one. By the time he sent the yellow smiley with the halo, his phone rang.

“Y/N,” he answered with a hesitated smile. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, “I knew that would work.”

“What worked?” the voice on the other line was not you, but rather his sister, Maddie.

The defeated slump of Buck’s shoulders would have made a cartoon noise as he sat down in one of the comfy leather chairs at the firehouse. He lied; his hopes were up but the voice of his sister popped them away. He tried to put on a brave face to help mask his saddened voice, but Maddie wasn’t convinced.

“Nothing, what’s—”

“Are you and Y/N okay?”

Maddie interrupted him and Buck leaned back. He hated the fact that you were ignoring him when there was a simple explanation to the situation. Buck opened his mouth and was about to say something, anything, to get his sister off his back, but Maddie retorted with a smooth and confident, “Don’t lie to me.”

How she was able to read her brother over the phone was a mystery unto itself.

“She’s ignoring me,” Buck replied with a sigh. He didn’t really want to talk about it. He wanted to go back and continue texting the entire emoji alphabet to you. It hit him, then, that if you were trying to call him, the call wouldn’t go through since he was on the phone with his sister. Quickly sitting up, he mumbled a super-fast and hardly audible “I gotta go, Maddie. Talk later,” before he hung up on his sister and went back to staring at the phone.

You didn’t text him back and there was no indication of a missed call.

It took everything in his willpower to not chuck the phone at the wall, purely out of frustration. If he were not on duty right now, he’d be at your apartment and talk things out. His hand tightened around his phone, just in time for his best friend to stroll on by.

“You okay?” Eddie asked, looking at Buck with curiosity.

“It’s your fault,” Buck said suddenly. He couldn’t hide the bitterness in his voice as he rose to his feet.

“What is?” Eddie asked cautiously. He was walking backwards, away from Buck. When Buck was angry, it wasn’t a pretty sight. There was no violence or anything like that, but tensions did rise high when their resident goofball wasn’t his usual self.

“You and that girl flirting on the call today, and I’m supposed to give you her stupid number that she gave me to give to you and now my girlfriend isn’t talking to me because of you and that girl’s number and I’m going craz—”

Bobby was hearing the commotion and he quickly walked over to the scene. As the captain, he had to make sure his firefighters played nice. “Everything okay over here?” Bobby asked, looking back and forth from Eddie to Buck.

“Did you try calling Y/N?” Eddie interjected while ignoring Bobby’s question. He was unfazed by Buck’s tangent to make a point, something he was pretty used to after working at Station 118 for so long.

Buck stopped and immediately shut his mouth. The resentment on his face changed into something else. What was it? Guilt, maybe?

“What did you do?” Bobby asked while turning to Buck, “never mind, I don’t want to know.” After dealing with Buck and Eddie’s antics at the firehouse, sometimes Bobby needed to pick and choose his battles. He wasn’t going to pick and choose this one.

“Cap, can I…” Buck sheepishly started asking a question, like he was about to be scolded or something. He avoided Bobby’s gaze and let his voice trail off.

Bobby looked at Eddie, who shrugged and raised his hands in surrender, wanting no more part of the situation. Eventually, the Captain exhaled and nodded. “You have one hour, Buck. I’m making this your lunch break.”

With that, Evan Buckley was on a mission. He stopped by the farmer’s market and bought a bouquet of flowers and he raced to your place. The elevator in your apartment building was out of order, forcing the young but thankfully in shape fireman to dash two, sometimes three stairs at a time. He was just there this morning and it already felt comfortable, like he could see himself being more familiar with the apartment building as time went on. He hoped he would, but he just recently learned not to get his hopes up.

He rapped a few times on the door and used the flowers to cover up the peep hole so that you couldn’t see he was standing there.

“Who is it?” you asked through the door.

Buck wasted no time. “Delivery.”

“I didn’t order—” you began until you saw him. He was standing there, looking gorgeous like always. Every bone in your body was telling you to look away, shut the door, and go back to ignoring him. You turned away from him, and he held out the beautiful bundle of flowers.

“Delivery,” he said again, this time in a more apologetic and remorseful tone.

You took the flowers from his grip, and your fingertips brushed over his lightly. If you weren’t mad at him, you would be picturing those fingers brushing over other things, like different body parts.

“Today was a misunderstanding,” Buck said. He was giving you a look, a sweet, innocent look, and it was hard to look away. He knew just how to keep you captivated, how to keep you interested, and you found yourself opening the door to invite him in. He smiled a little and walked into the apartment that he was in only hours before.

It was a small place with one bedroom. Nothing like his two-story loft that he got to enjoy when he wasn’t working. However, the smaller apartment made things seem cozier. Even he couldn’t explain it, but he did like being there.

“The phone number was for Eddie, not me. The whole thing is a misunderstanding. Miscommunication at the firehouse, it’s not exactly uncommon. I wouldn’t do that to you,” Buck was saying. You were hanging on his every word. Sure, you may have taken things a bit extreme by ignoring him, and yet here he was, willing to fight for you and fight for a place in your life. You must give him credit for that.

“You really mean a lot to me, Y/N. I wish I could tell the world.”

“Go ahead.”

Buck stared at you, slowing blinking at your sudden permission to share his feelings. While last night’s deep conversations were perfect, it made the two of you closer to each other. Buck was in denial, but after realizing he could possibly lose you, even over something as a simple mistake, it made things a lot clearer to the fireman.

“Okay world, guess what!” Buck started shouting, catching you off guard, “Y/N is my freaking girlfriend and I really—”

You put a hand over his mouth. He was loud and you had neighbors on both sides of you and the walls were paper thin. The last thing you wanted was to deal with the cops over a noise complaint that your man was professing his love for you in a neighborhood apartment complex.

“I did not mean literally!” you whisper-shouted to Buck.

He was grinning behind your hand. You could feel it. His hidden smile only made you smile in return. Yeah, perhaps you were a tad dramatic today but so was he. Maybe it was proof that the two of you just felt fiercely for each other and needed the clarification that things were going to be okay.

Buck moved away from you and plopped down on your cream-colored loveseat. Your whole body turned to look at him as he relaxed. His eyes never left your gaze. He was staring at you, but not in a way that made you uncomfortable. There was a swirl of emotions in his eyes. He was staring at you, admiring you, like you were a work of art. In his eyes, you were.

“Come sit on my lap, baby.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You walked up to him and sat down, one leg on either side of him as you straddled his waist, facing him. His hands found themselves pressing into the curves of your waist while your arms snaked themselves around his neck. “Don’t tell me you left your shift for this,” you told him in a whisper. His head seemed to be getting closer and closer to you, and you found yourself gravitating toward his lips.

“I’m on my lunch break,” Buck whispered against your lips.

You pushed your body against him. “Then you better eat something before you go back.”

Buck only smirked as his fingers slipped under the fabric of your shirt. Your little daydream from earlier, the one where you didn’t want to imagine Buck’s fingertips going places, was starting to come back the very moment he touched your bare skin.

“I’m working on it,” Buck replied huskily before letting his lips move against yours in a desperate need to claim them.

The drama from the afternoon seemed to evaporate and a bubble started forming around you and Buck. For now, at least for however long he had on his lunch break, nothing could pop the bubble. You two were in your own little world, safely confined within the walls of your apartment. Too bad your walls were paper thin though. Your neighbors might file a noise complaint after all.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

for the ship headcanon meme: star trek pairing of choice, #16-#20?

Bet you thought I forgot about this ask meme, fuckers!  And you’re right, I did, but the beauty of forgetting is that sometimes you remember.  Anyway, as always, it’s Michael/Saru Hours, lads.

16) When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

This is not a headcanon, but I have this fragment of a fic idea in my head based on this question, and that fragment of a fic idea is like...some kind of case fic where Discovery finds a planet being ravaged by Basically A Zombie Apocalypse and Michael and Saru get stranded there.  Ideally, for my personal enjoyment, I would want to slot it into the plot of s1 as early as possible, because the best/worst dynamic there would be Michael choking with guilt and yet still one of the finest scientific minds in Star Fleet, and Saru unable to keep himself from pressing on the fresh bruise of loss, unable to trust her, and the two of them still working together flawlessly.

Because that’s the thing, isn’t it?  Even when they can’t stand each other, they argue like a choreographed dance, and when the chips are down and they have to think on their feet, they still move like Georgiou’s trusted right and left hands.

Anyway.  That, but make it zombies.

17) When they find a time machine, where do they go?

If Michael came into possession of a time machine that actually allowed her to reliably control where she went and let her come back, I think she would sit down and try to do the temporal math to figure out how to avert the war.  I do not, however, believe that Michael and Saru, survivors of a fair amount of timeline hopping already, would actually risk going back in time.  I think they would both talk about wanting to go back, specifically because they know the other will talk them out of it, but I don’t think they would do it.

That being said, I would love a lotus eater prison AU where Michael and Saru are trapped in an idyllic dream of a world where the Shenzhou was never destroyed, Michael was being prepared to be promoted off the ship as a captain, and Saru was preparing to take her place, ft a lot of sadness about Georgiou and Michael and Saru working together to find a way to wake up.

18) When they fight, how do they make up?

Michael wears Raised On Vulcan tattooed on her face, sometimes, and especially when she defensive or guilty--if she’s angry with Saru, she’ll tell him exactly what she thinks he’s doing wrong, to his face, and it takes her a long time to learn that she should pull that punch a little more with people she cares about.  On the upside, that means that, when she feels like she’s been out of line and unnecessarily harsh, she’ll walk right up to Saru and tell him, blunt as anything, what she did, why she thinks it was wrong, and that she understands if he’s angry with her.  

This was initially…a weird experience for Saru on several levels, if he’s being honest.  A lot of his experience with people is colored heavily by the fact that very few people know how to deal with Kelpiens, and that means that he’s either handled like glass or he puts in the work to be treated like any of the other crew members. He’s not really sure how to deal with someone who handles him with exactly the same unemotional ruthlessness as everyone else, and it’s disorienting, and it makes him angry that it’s disorienting, because that’s what he wants, but also, Michael is sometimes an asshole.  She’s the first person that he’s ever argued with on the regular—really argued, a push and counterpush, shoving each other away from the science console and pulling out ad hominem attacks in a way that visibly infuriates Michael’s Vulcan training.  But quite frankly, they never felt like they needed to apologize for those early fights, under Georgiou.  It was part of the ship dynamic, to have Burnham and Saru trying to take strips off each other in a very professional and scientific manner.  As long as Saru never took a cheap shot over Michael’s upbringing and Michael resisted the impulse to go full xenoanthropologist on Saru’s species, they were very good at fighting.

(Personally I am of the belief that Michael only tried to pull the I understand where you’re coming from because of what your species makes you after the mutiny, after she was trying to be nice.  Before then, she expected Saru to perform to her standards and fuck the details.  Half the reason he’s so coldly furious with her over it is because he knows she’s trying to manipulate him, because if she wasn’t, she would never play that card, because no matter how nasty their fights were, she always fought with him as a person, not as a Kelpien.)

19) Where do they go on their first date?

There’s a fic that bounces around my brain every time I watch Discovery, and it’s about Michael and Saru having a first date (sort of) very late at night, when they’re both having trouble sleeping.  It’s not an arranged date, they’re not even really friends even though they’ve gotten past the stage of Michael letting Saru flay her alive for her guilt, but Michael is having trouble sleeping and she’s not a prisoner anymore, so she wanders, and Saru, frankly, sleeps like hypervigilant garbage since the Binary Stars, so he has a preferred hiding spot on one of Discovery’s few observation decks.  As Lorca likes to point out, they’re not a goddamn pleasure cruiser, but Star Fleet never built a ship without at least one view panel, not even their top-secret war machine.

Michael is avoiding people—she hates being asked why she’s awake, gets tangled up in her automatic shame over not being able to control her emotions.  It’s the middle of the “night” by ship standards, but Discovery seethes with activity around the clock, especially since Stamets pulls regular all-nighters when he gets really entranced and often has to be peeled away from his work by Local Exasperated Doctor Hugh Culber.  So she ducks into the parts of the ship that she usually doesn’t go, the places that are more for socializing and are empty at this hour, the places that aren’t often used, the places that are quiet.

She finds the observation deck dim and blessedly silent, with the stars spreading infinitely outside.  The room is faintly lit by the nebula off to the starboard bow, the one they’re using to hide their signature while they run some necessary repairs.  It’s a practical use, but it’s also beautiful, every window in the ship glowing with warm reds and golds, and Michael still finds the stars soothing after all this time, and so she drifts up to the glass with the vague plan of sitting down and spending an hour or two there in an attempt at meditation.  She only sees Saru, leaning back against the edge of the viewing window, when she’s close enough to nearly trip over one of his long legs, stretched out in front of him.

Michael, of course, apologizes, and turns to leave.  Saru never really does have a good answer, as to why he stops her.  But he doesn’t ask any questions about why she’s awake and she doesn’t ask any questions about what he’s doing here, and instead they sit in relative quiet for a while before Saru sits up straighter and offers Michael, again, a small bowl of fruit. It’s not familiar to her, this time, but he says it won’t hurt her, that it’s sort of like a lychee, and she believes him.  It leaves a bit of thin red juice on her fingers when she bites into the first one, and he recommends eating them whole to avoid it while she ruefully sucks the juice off her thumb.  It’s good—less sweet than she expected.  Saru settles next to her in the middle of the window and sets the bowl between them, and she asks how he always manages to have fresh fruit, and he admits that he can wring a lot more out of the replicators since he never gets meat. Somehow it turns into—talking.

Michael is startled to realize, around the hour mark of murmured conversation, that she might have literally never just talked to Saru before. It’s—nice.

(Because I’m physiologically incapable of letting things be nice, if I wrote this fic there would be an immediate sequel of Observation Deck Chats Redux, featuring them doing basically the same thing but after Michael gets back from the Mirrorverse.  Michael leans against Saru’s shoulder in a way that she would never, if she hadn’t been awake with nightmares and grief for pushing three days, and she tells him about the Empire like she’s confessing her sins, and they talk quietly about the ghost haunting their ship in the shape of Empress Philippa Georgiou. It’s not nice, but not for lack of kindness.)

20) Where do they go on holiday?

I think Saru and Michael would have two very distinct kinds of “holiday” and they have two destinations accordingly.

The first kind of holiday is Nerd Holiday, in which they find an unexplored planet and appoint themselves to the away team—everyone else on the away team is wryly aware that they are, essentially, third-wheeling a date, but Discovery has watched this whole situation unfold and honestly the popular opinion is that it would actually be easier to deal with a little bit of PDA than the current Very Professional Mutual Adoration Show.  Local Red Shirt Absolutely Agonized By The Very Correct Ten Inches Of Space Between Her Captain And First Officer, Reports As They Come.  Michael and Saru are pleasantly unaware of this and are having a great time arguing over whether they need another sample of that plant if it’s just a different color.

The second kind of holiday is actual fucking shore leave.  They both prefer planets or stations with a large variety of species—Saru is uneasy with being the center of attention among strangers, and since he stands head and shoulders above a decent percentage of the Federation, it’s hard to avoid unless they’re in mixed company; Michael never quite recovered from the perpetual sense of disjoint when it comes to being around all humans or all Vulcans, so being in a place where everyone is different makes her feel less out of place.  Neither of them like big crowds, so they’re the tourists who immediately leave the usual Tourist Area and find somewhere else to be, which has its ups and downs.  The first time they get into trouble on a totally safe colony planet because they decided to go exploring, there’s a beat of them looking at each other and silently agreeing that they won’t be telling the crew about this, because there’s already a running ship joke about what trouble magnets they are and they do NOT need to feed anyone more material.

[lightsupinthenorth]

Harringrove teachers AU part 3

Part 1 - Part 2 

Thank you to everyone who read, liked and/or reblogged the previous parts. Also, the people who said something nice in the tags or in reactions own my heart. Just thought you should know ;) <3 

Tag list: @twoprettyboys, @inkedplume​, @marianaosborne​, @liglitterbug​, @hmg621 @spreckle @goldenweatherharringrove @yikesharringrove @yogurtfordinner @wingedbears @charlotte-frey @hargrovesharrington​

If anyone wants to be added to or taken off the tag list for the future posts of this AU, let me know ;)

I hope the tags are working because I recently had some trouble with them (ah, Tumblr is a mess). 

I was planning on keeping the chapters short but every part has been longer than the last so far ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (then again, it’s still pretty short so I guess it’s fine ^^). 

I’ll stop rambling now.

*

Billy didn’t know how he had ended up in this situation, this situation being Steve and he making out in the otherwise empty teachers’ lounge, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. He wanted to keep Steve’s soft lips on his forever. Sadly, he didn’t get his way: there was a loud bang, and suddenly Steve’s lips were gone. Steve was gone too, as well as the teachers’ lounge. Billy woke up at home, in his bed, hard as a rock in the basket-ball shorts he was wearing as pajamas.

Great, he got an erection just from dreaming he and Steve were kissing. What was he? A teenager? That was pathetic.

Billy was considering rubbing one out, despite the embarrassment, but there was another loud bang that made him remember why he had woken up in the first place.

What the fuck was happening this early on a Saturday?

Billy instantly worried Max had fallen or, worse, that someone had broken into the flat and would hurt her (highly improbable in such a small town, but Billy wasn’t alert enough to be logical). The concern killed his arousal in two seconds tops. He shot up from bed and exited his bedroom in a hurry.

He found Max in their open kitchen, mixing what appeared to be pancakes ingredients.

“What was that noise?” He asked, in lieu of a greeting.  

“I dropped the pan. Sorry.”

“There were two noises.”

“I dropped the mixing bowl too. Let me live! It’s your fault, you stored both these things on the highest shelf” Max complained.

“Hey, no need for a defense, I’m not accusing you. I was just worried, shitbird.”

“Oh… well, I’m okay.”

“And you’re making pancakes, so I’m certainly not going to complain.” Billy added.

“Who told you I was making some for you?”

Billy pouted, even though he knew Max was bluffing. He could see the amount of batter in the mixing bowl. She had quite an appetite, but there was no way she’d be able to eat all of that on her own.

“So mean, so early in the morning.”

“What can I say, I love messing with you.”  

Paradoxically, Billy was happy that she did. When they had first met, he’d been a perpetually angry teenager, and teeny tiny Max had done everything she could to stay out of his way. Once Susan had announced she was ill, though, Billy had tried his hardest to be the brother Max deserved. After Susan’s death, Billy had looked after Max and kept her safe from his father until he had turned legal. He had then fought to get Max away from Neil and had obtained full custody of her.  

It had been hard to balance getting his degree, working part-time jobs, and taking care of Max. Even more so with Neil trying to steer trouble every now and again. But they had made it out alright, in the hand, and Billy didn’t regret a second of it.

“Sit your ass down.” Max said as she turned the stove on.

“Oh no, no way. You ‘sit your ass down’. I’ll take it from here.”

Max was good at finding the best recipes and at mixing ingredients, but the cooking process was another thing entirely: she had nearly burned the kitchen down almost every time she had tried using the oven or the stove. Her cooking privileges had been revoked after the fifth time.

“Ugh, fine.”

Billy had two plates full on pancakes in no time. He put one in front of Max and went to sit down with his own on the other side of the table. The second his ass touched his chair, Max asked:

“So, you have plans with Steve and Robin this afternoon?”

Billy frowned.

“First of all, it’s Mrs. Buckley and Mr. Harrington for you”, he started, just to get on her nerves (he didn’t give a fuck how she called her teachers), “and second, how do you know that?”

Max arched an eyebrow.

“You literally talked about it with Steve right in front of me yesterday”, she said, ignoring Billy’s reprimand (no surprise, there).

“Oh… right… I did.”

Truthfully, Billy had stopped paying attention to Max and El the second he had laid eyes on Steve and the dumb spot of blue paint that had been resting on his cheek as if it had any right to.

“So, what are you guys going to do?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but we’re going to grade papers.”

“Well, that’s exciting.”

Her sarcasm was off the charts.

“Tell me about it”, Billy mumbled, around a mouthful of pancake.

“Ew, gross.”

Billy stuffed even more pancake into his mouth, in defiance, before he spoke again:

“So, Art club, uh? What’s up with that?”

They hadn’t had an opportunity to talk about it the day before, because Friday night was movie night, and they had eaten dinner in front of the tv. Plus, Billy would have been too distracted to hold a conversation (Steve hadn’t left his mind).

“Steve said I should come. He noticed I haven’t been speaking to a lot of people, and he said it might help to do an activity in a smaller group…” Max wasn’t looking at Billy as she explained.

“Anyway, I think he was right. He’s the best!” She beamed as she said it, finally looking up from her slowly but surely diminishing pile of pancakes.

“That’s good. I’m glad.”

Billy was glad, really. He was also a bit frustrated that Steve had managed to talk to Max about making friends, when Billy hadn’t known how to bring it up without offending her, but he wasn’t petty enough to show he had a problem with it. Even if Max calling Steve “the best” was treason of the highest order, Billy just wanted her to be happy. If Steve’s intervention helped more than Billy himself could, then so be it.

They finished breakfast, got ready for the day and then went grocery shopping. As they got back to the flat, Max went to her room to chill, and Billy read for a while before he started preparing lunch. Keeping busy distracted him from thinking about seeing Steve in the afternoon. Well, he didn’t think about it too much, at least.

-

When Billy made his way into the coffee shop, Steve and Robin were already seated, talking animatedly… in another language.

“Hi. Was that Italian?”

They must not have noticed him approaching, because as soon as he greeted them, they stopped talking, and Steve looked up at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Hey Billy”, Robin said, “as a matter of fact, it was.”

“Don’t you teach French and Spanish?”

Billy was perplexed.

“I do. Doesn’t mean I don’t speak Italian.”

“It figures”, Billy shrugged.

He wanted to ask Steve where he had learnt Italian, because it intrigued him. However, he chose not to. He didn’t want to talk to him unless it was necessary. It’d be better for everyone if they had the bare minimum of interactions together, surely.

“Are these new piercings?” Robin asked, gesturing toward his ears.

“Uh, no. I’ve had them for a long time. I just don’t wear them at school.”

“Well, you should. They look really cool, and I’m sure no one would have anything to say about it.”

Billy stared at Steve pointedly, but Steve looked away as soon as he caught his gaze.

“I’ll think about it.” Billy finally said.

Steve and Robin already had their orders, so Billy took his wallet from his bag and went to the counter. He glanced at the display case and eyed the cherry pie with envy, but decided against it. After this morning’s pancakes, it wouldn’t be reasonable. Plus, he hadn’t hit the gym in a few days. He had to start indulging less if he wanted to stay in shape. He went for a simple black coffee. As the burly man behind the counter, whom Billy guessed to be Benny, asked him if he wanted anything else, Billy nearly surrendered, but he powered through. He handed Benny a ten-dollar bill and put the change he was given in one of his pockets.

When Billy went back to their table with his cup of coffee, Steve was blowing on his cup of steaming hot tea. Billy’s eyes caught on the ‘o’ shape of Steve’s lips, which reminded him of his dream. He averted his eyes, praying to God he wasn’t blushing, now that he couldn’t hide it behind his tan anymore (screw Hawkins, Indiana).

As Billy sat down, he noticed Steve had a piece of the pie he’d been eyeing. Not fair. He nearly started pouting but caught himself. After all, his pie-less state was his own fault. Why did he have to be reasonable?

Billy took his pen and the essays he had to grade out of his backpack to give himself something to focus on. But then Steve started eating. And he moaned. Quite obscenely.

“Mh, this is so good. Benny is a magician. You guys want a bite?”

Billy really wanted to say yes, not only because he wanted pie, but because Steve was the one offering. It would have been weird, though? Right?

“No thanks” he ended up saying. What a hard thing to say.

Robin had no such qualms. She needn’t have, since she and Steve were actually friends. Not only did she get to experience Steve warmth and kindness, she also got a bite of his pie. Did she even know how lucky she was?

Billy got into his grading. And he was already past the no-pouting stage of the afternoon. It sucked to be him, sometimes.

“You should probably wait for Steve to finish eating… and drinking too, to be honest, before you put your students’ paper on the table. That man is a disaster.”

Billy had to admit Robin was right. He ate lunch with Steve on a regular basis, and had therefore seen him spill a bunch of things on himself. Thankfully, nothing he had ever spilled had reached Billy, so they were probably safe.

“Oh come on! We’re on opposite ends of the table.” Steve objected.

“I know, but I’m sure you’d find a way.”

Steve scoffed but didn’t try to argue his case any further. He looked adorably ruffled when Robin laughed at his expanse.

They didn’t say anything more for a while, as they were finally doing what they had come here to do. At some point, though, Robin brought up a point one of her students had made about the French translation of “Newspeak” in George Orwell’s 1984, which led her and Billy to launch a discussion about the novel.

Steve offered no input whatsoever, but he had stopped grading and had been staring at them for five minutes straight.

It was making Billy’s skin itch.

At some point, he couldn’t take it anymore and asked:

“What’s your opinion Steve?”

“Uh… I… I don’t really have one.” He stammered, caught off guard.

“How come?”

“I, uh, I haven’t actually read the book.”

“Oh. Well, you should. It’s an amazing book.”

Steve fidgeted with his red pen, repeatedly taking the cap off and then putting it back on.

“Uh… I don’t know about that. It’s not really my thing.”

“How can you know it’s not your thing if you haven’t read it?” Billy asked, a tad defensively.

“I didn’t mean the book… I meant, reading.”

Steve bit his lower lip.

“Why not? Is that beneath a math buff such as yourself, or something?” Billy’s tone had become hostile.

And, by pulling accusations out of his ass like that, he had gone from defensive to straight up aggressive.

“No. ‘course not… It’s just… reading is hard for me… I’m, uh… I’m dyslexic, so…” Steve trailed off, looking down at the pen he was seemingly holding in a vice grip.

Billy was speechless with shame and regret, as Steve offered a wobbly smile and said: “I’m gonna… go get some more tea”, before leaving the table.

Billy stared at his retreating form before he turned to Robin and found her glaring at him. If he could have felt worse than he already did, he would have.

“So… should I go apologize right now or should I leave him alone and apologize later?”

Teenage Billy would have probably not apologized at all, but present-time Billy knew better. He felt like the biggest jerk.

“I’d say, go for it.”

Billy followed Robin’s advice and, with knots in his stomach, he went to Steve, who was waiting for his tea behind the counter.

“Steve, man… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay…” Steve said, but his eyes didn’t leave his own shoes.

That wouldn’t do. Billy had made Steve feel shitty, and he would make it better if it were the last thing he did.

“No, it’s not. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

Billy had let his frustration with Steve get the better of him, and that was unacceptable. Steve was not particularly nice to him, so what? It wasn’t a reason to be outright mean to the guy.

“Really, it’s no big deal… It’s not like it’s a secret… my dyslexia, I mean.”

“Yeah, but you obviously didn’t want to share this piece of info with me, and I should have dropped it.”

“I just… I was afraid you’d find me stupid… But you probably thought I was stupid already, anyway… what with me never having anything interesting to say when Robin and you talk about literature.”

“Hey, I don’t…”

Benny placed Steve’s cup of tea on the counter, cutting Billy mid-sentence.

“It’s on me”, Billy said, fishing his five-dollar bill of change out of his jean’s back pocket and handing it to Benny.

“You didn’t have to.”

Was Steve blushing or was it a trick of the light?

“I want to make it up to you.”

“There’s nothing to make up for, but thanks.”

Steve grabbed his cup of tea and was going to go back to their table, but Billy held him back.

“Wait… I want you to know I don’t find you stupid, okay? I know I’m kind of a jackass, but not enough of one to actually think dyslexic people are stupid.”

“Good to know”, Steve replied.

“So, are we good?”

“I told you, we are.” Steve assured, smiling brighter than he had ever smiled at Billy before.

The knots in Billy’s stomach loosened, and his heart filled with warmth. So that was how it felt, when Steve’s sunshine fell upon you? Billy couldn’t wait to experience that feeling again.

“We should get back to Robin.”

“We should” Billy echoed, before following Steve, awestruck.

[phantom-curve]

find the strength, find the melody pt. 9

SURPRISE SHAWTY! I literally made a post yesterday about how this wouldn’t update until the weekend but then I drank some wine at noon and now HERE WE ARE. I love this chapter and I haven’t felt that about my writing in WEEKS. man, these middle of the night chapters are just absolutely my favorite thing. hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. (and yes, I did cry while writing Julie’s lil rant about Rose. what else is new?)

taglist: @blue-hat-girl, @lwhoscribbles, @bluefyoto94, @5sosmukefan, @moonlightxnder, @leahthewonder​, @kat-maybe-not​, @lukewearingbeanies, @imastrugglingartist​​

Julie should have expected this.

When the boys had left earlier, she had seen the telling glances between Alex and Reggie going back and forth from Luke to the studio and occasionally skipping over Julie herself when they thought she wasn’t looking. She had waved to them from the steps leading up to the house from the studio as they made their way to the van. She knew the moment she had been blocked from their view by the way they started playfully shoving Luke around, hooking thumbs behind them to point at the spot they didn’t know she was still lingering in. She watched Luke duck away from their teasing, opting to climb in the back of the van where the instruments would usually be stored. No one chose that spot in a band van willingly. It was clear he was trying to hide from Alex and Reggie. She caught a quick glimpse of that damn hand rising to the back of his neck before he was lost in the darkness of the van’s interior. The other boys exchanged a knowing look, twin grins stretched across their faces, before they piled in the van as well and took off down her street.

So, the boys knew he had spent the night before sleeping in her mom’s studio. Whatever. She trusted them not to spread it around the school or make it into a bigger deal than it was. Whether or not they cared about her reputation, they would want to protect Luke. Julie firmly believed they would keep that knowledge to themselves, unless they decided she was fair game for teasing as much as Luke was. The fact that they hadn’t brought it up during rehearsal or in front of her made her believe the worst of the ribbing would be reserved for Luke. She figured that would be the end of it. Luke would have some explanation to give them, and Julie had gotten pretty good at dodging conversations she didn’t want to have, so on the off chance they tried to talk to her about it she would simply deflect. No biggie.

What she had not expected was for Luke to reappear several hours later, caught red handed sneaking back into the studio. She probably should have expected it, but she had spent a few hours away from his overwhelming presence, and the quiet time had been enough for her to convince herself that all of those fluttery feelings passing between them earlier were simply in her imagination. So, when she climbed out of bed at midnight to jot some lyrics down and tuck them into her dream box, she had been surprised to see a small light on outside. Her first reaction was panic. That studio held every important memory Julie had of her mom. If someone had broken in or caused any damage to the space, she might not be able to survive the emotional fallout. Not to mention, she had promised the boys she would keep their instruments safe, and she wasn’t about to break that vow. Which was how she found herself standing in the open doorway in her fuzzy monster slippers and mismatched pajamas, the heavy cross from the dining room wall held in front of her like a weapon, jaw on the floor.

“Luke, what the hell?!”

Julie couldn’t stop the exclamation, even as she cringed away from the defensive look in his eyes. She dropped her arms immediately, the cross dangling limply at her side.

“Julie! I...uh...forgot my pick?”

His voice was rough, rising to a squeak on the last word, and Julie couldn’t help the way her eyebrow rose questioningly. He wasn’t even holding a pick. A fact he seemed to realize as he dropped his gaze to quickly scan the area they had left the instruments set up in. She didn’t even have to guess that his next move would be to reach for his neck. Without thinking about it, she took three quick steps forward to grasp his wrist with her free hand as it started to rise. He startled slightly, turning back to meet her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat at the raw vulnerability swimming in the stormy ocean depths of his eyes. There was a tinge of red around his irises, and she could just make out the sheen of drying tears on his cheeks in the low light.

“Are you...” She swallowed hard against the butterflies swirling in her gut. “Do you need a place to stay tonight?”

Julie kept her eyes locked on his, even as they flickered with some kind of internal conflict. She didn’t push farther than that, leaving him the space to decide for himself what it was he wanted out of this interaction. He had come here for a reason, even if he had originally intended to keep that reason a secret. She fought against the desire to pull him close for a hug. They hadn’t breached that barrier just yet. She did allow her fingers to slip from their hold on his wrist and travel down to entangle with his. That kind of comfort was safe, still tiptoeing the line of being just friends. His eyes searched her face for a moment before he squeezed her hand, pulling just enough that she had to step closer to him. Just like earlier, the world seemed to shrink down to just the two of them.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up. I can go...”

Julie tightened her hold before he could pull his hand away. Queen of deflection that she was, she saw right through what he was doing. He might want to give into her on a subconscious level, but there was a part of him that he was holding back. She thought back to the whole dinner debacle and his fears over disappointing her family. His fears over disappointing her. He was trying to reject himself before she got the chance to, not realizing that ship had long since sailed for her. She was firmly a passenger on the SS Luke now, having jumped ship mere hours ago in this very same garage. To reject him in this moment would be like rejecting a part of herself.

“Luke, no, please don’t leave. It’s okay. You can stay here.”

She made sure to keep her voice soft. Luke’s conflicted gaze flitted across her face, like he didn’t fully believe it would just be that easy. She gave a tug of her own, stepping backwards so he didn’t topple her as he moved forward. She placed the cross on the floor, moving around it with Luke’s hand still glued to hers until they were in front of the couch. He didn’t fight her, following her lead willingly even as he avoided the concerned look on her face. She dropped onto the couch, curling her legs underneath her and reaching out with her empty hand to wrap around the one that still held his. It wasn’t the hug she wanted to give him, but it was as close as she was willing to get at the moment. He glanced at their hands, a slight smile playing at the edges of his lips before letting out a bone deep sigh and sinking down into the space next to her.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Julie murmured, her fingers stroking over the bumps of his knuckles and the rough calluses on his fingertips, “but my mom always used to say that the studio was the one place where I didn’t have to hide. You don’t have to hide here either. It can be your safe space, too.”

She didn’t look up from where she was drawing patterns on the back of his hand. It still hurt, to think about her mom, to talk about her knowing that she would only exist in memories from now on. But something about Luke made it a little bit easier. Her mom would have liked him, she realized somewhat ruefully. It was a shame they wouldn’t ever get to meet, but maybe that was part of what made him that much more important to Julie. He helped her remember those bits and pieces of her mom that she would have otherwise locked away. They sat in silence for a long moment, but it was more comforting than awkward. Julie tried not to jump when she felt Luke’s head fall to rest on her shoulder. His breath ghosted along her collarbone, sending goosebumps rippling across her skin.

“What was she like?”

It wasn’t a question she had expected him to ask. She could tell by the way he said it, whispered into the chilled air on a soft exhale, that he wouldn’t ask again if she chose to pretend she hadn’t heard him. All at once, she wanted nothing more than to tell him everything.

“She was...she was everything.”

The pain that was always under the surface when it came to talking about Rose Molina threatened to choke her, but a stronger feeling of needing to share this with Luke overpowered it. Julie cleared the emotion from her throat and pushed on.

“She was like the sun and the moon and the stars all rolled into one. An entire universe in one single person. No one loved like she did. It was all-encompassing. My dad told me once that he knew from the first moment he saw her that she would change his life. I thought that was just for us for a long time, just for our family. But I was wrong. She was like that with everyone. I remember one time I asked him why we couldn’t ever go somewhere without Mom making a new friend and he looked at me with so much happiness and whispered like he was sharing the secret to life itself: ‘Everyone falls a little bit in love with your mom when they meet her, mija. She’s magic like that.’ And she was. She was absolute magic. She had the biggest heart and the sweetest smile, and she always knew exactly what to say. When we lost her, it felt like my world collapsed in on itself. It still feels like that sometimes. Like, how can I exist somewhere that she doesn’t? Sometimes it feels like it has to be a dream because a world without my mom? A world without the very light that created existence itself? That shouldn’t be possible.”

Julie didn’t realize she was crying until one of Luke’s rough fingers was brushing the tears from her cheeks. She finally looked up from where their hands were still clasped together. His eyes drilled into hers, silently communicating that he understood, and she couldn’t fight against the need to be close to him any longer. She launched herself into his lap, face curled into the pocket of warmth where his neck met his shoulder, hands twisting into the fabric of his cut up tank-top like he was the only thing anchoring her to the world right then. He caught her without question, strong arms locking around her waist and one hand rising to rest on the back of her head. Julie let the sob that had been building in her chest explode.

“I miss her so much. She was the best mom, and it’s not fucking fair that she isn’t here anymore.”

The words were muffled against Luke’s skin, but she knew by the way he tightened his hold that he had heard them just the same. Julie didn’t know how long they sat like that. Being with Luke made time feel meaningless. He didn’t say anything, just tangled his fingers into her curls and nuzzled his nose against her temple until the tears finally subsided. She could feel the wet stain she had left along his collar against her cheek. That same smell that had drifted off of his towel earlier tickled her nose, foreign and yet comfortingly familiar all at the same time. She inhaled deeply, letting it seep into her bones until she knew she would recognize it anywhere. He swallowed and she felt the way his neck flexed, but she didn’t move from the cocoon of his arms.

“You’re like that too, ya know.”

Luke’s voice was so gentle she thought she might start crying again. The hand that was wrapped low around her hip traced feather light swirls against the thin strip of skin exposed there. Julie released a shuddery breath, pulling away just enough that she could look at his face, their noses almost brushing at the movement.

“The sun and the moon and the stars? That’s you, too. You’re just as magical, just as all-encompassing. All the best parts of your mom live on in you, Julie.”

His voice dipped, eyes blazing as they lowered to her lips for a brief second before rising to meet hers again. Julie felt her mouth fall open slightly, allowed herself to drown in the clear blue-green sea of his gaze. She gulped and watched him track the movement before he spoke again.

“I think I know exactly how your dad felt. I think I’ve been a little bit in love with you for years.”

His cheeks blazed bright red on that final quiet declaration, Julie’s warming to match. Neither one of them broke their stare down, and Julie thought she could feel the physical shift in the universe that was the two of them snapping into place together. The final piece of her soul being righted after a year of feeling lost and alone. Luke shifted impossibly closer, closing the last few millimeters of space between them so every part of their bodies pressed against each other.

“I wish you could have met her.”

The confession was wrenched from the softest part of her heart, meant only for Luke’s ears in this quiet moment that felt both infinite and precious.

“I do, too. But I’d like to think that a part of me did get to meet her. When I used to listen to you two play together, sometimes I would pretend I was right there with you, practicing scales and vocal warm-ups. You mom loved you so much, and I could hear it every time you guys were out here. I read that song so many times that even though I knew it was yours, it felt a little bit like mine, too. She might not be here physically, but her spirit is. I know you can feel it out here, and I can too. Nowhere else has ever felt as safe and loving as being here does.”

Luke’s voice had trailed off until it was nothing more than a breathy whisper on the last few lines. Julie felt her chest squeeze and burn, a fire lit within her soul for Luke and Luke alone. He was so right, and it was almost scary that he seemed to understand her so deeply after just a few days. And yet, at the same time, nothing else had ever felt so right.

Julie had never really believed in signs from the beyond before. She had begged for even a scrap of something to prove that her mom was still around for a year and had never received anything. But that had changed since the day Luke quite literally knocked her off of her feet. Now it was like everywhere she looked she could see the little parts of her mom that still lingered all around. Here, in the middle of the night, surrounded by the same four walls that her mom had infused with so much love, Julie felt like Luke was the ultimate sign. He had been the catalyst that led to her finding herself again, and all of that came down to her mom’s song. The song that Luke had rescued and protected for a year. The song that was the last love letter from her mom was also the first love letter from Luke. Everything had fallen back into place when he entered her life, and Julie couldn’t help but think that was her mom’s doing.

“Will you stay? The whole night? I meant it when I said this can be your safe space. She would have liked that.”

It wasn’t quite the same as Luke almost declaration of love, but Julie knew that he saw it for the serious gesture that it was. The way his pupils dilated and his hand flexed against her waist told her that he was reading in between her words, seeing everything she was leaving unsaid because it felt a little too big just then. He felt it just as strongly as she did, this thing between them that seemed to grow stronger with every passing second.

“I’ll stay.”

Two simple words, one simple statement. But Julie heard what he really meant. This promise wasn’t just for the night, it was eternal. The weight of it pressed against her like the baby blanket she still sometimes curled up with at night, strong and secure and never ending in its comfort. Two words that were a stand in for the three he couldn’t say just yet. Fire burned low in her belly, licking a path up to her heart and searing across her chest. Their eyes locked, a million emotions they weren’t ready to express flowing back and forth between them like a river. Overwhelmed, Julie pulled his head close and pressed her lips against his for the briefest moment before leaping from the couch. Stunned by her own boldness, she raised her fingertips to her lips and caught Luke doing the same. Like they could each feel the lingering phantom of the other.

“Okay, so, uh...I’ll see you in the morning?” 

Julie’s voice cracked and she fought hard to steady it before continuing. 

“My dad will leave at the same time so just, uh, wait until you hear him go and then come up to the house? Okay, yeah, okay...goodnight!”

She made a beeline for the studio doors, taking full advantage of Luke’s shocked silence to escape before she could embarrass herself even more by kissing him again. The sound of his melodic voice stopped her before she could make it outside.

“Hey, Julie?”

She turned, cheeks burning red hot and heart on fire. He was looking at her like she hung the moon, eyes bright and face shining with unbridled joy. Some of the jittery nervousness leeched from her limbs at the sight of him looking so at her so softly. Not trusting herself to speak, she tilted her head and waited a beat for him to continue. A smile broke across his face like the dawning of a new day and Julie found herself momentarily blinded by his shine.

“Sweet dreams.”

It was a gentle hum, his way of sending her off to bed with the sweetest lullaby imaginable playing in her head. It took everything she had to resist the urge to fling herself into his arms again. Instead, she bit her lip with a smile, turned on her heel, and fled back inside to the relative safety of her room. It was an hour and an entire ballad composed later that she was finally able to close her eyes and sleep, the memory of the way Luke’s lips felt against hers playing out in every single dream she had that night.

[cheemers-writing-archive]

A Hairy Situation

Request: Could we maybe get a scenario with the Stardust Crusaders if they were turned into animals?(like what animal they would be, and how they'd adapt to having to run around on 4 legs or fly with bird wings) If you're up to it, of course.

Requested by: anon

Enjoy!

Joseph was slowly waking up from his involuntary nap, groaning. Whatever had happened, he hoped it was nothing too crazy. Although, considering that the slumber was induced by a Stand, he dropped those hopes down by a lot. He put a hand on his head, as if he was having a headache. At least, he put a limb on his head. Definitely not a hand, or an arm, or a foot, or any human body part. Even stranger, the limb felt… soft. Soft and feathery. Actually, now that he was looking at it, it was feathery. There were literal feathers on his limb. Now that he realized it, his mouth felt weird, too. Gently stroking it, the mouth felt all too strange to be human. It was like a beak.

Wait a minute. The feathers, the beak, it was all adding up. Joseph looked down at his feet to see bird-like claws. Encasing his body were colorful feathers, the main color being red. He was a parrot!

Surveying his surroundings, Joseph saw that he wasn’t the only one. A wolf with mainly black fur, a red-furred monkey, a grey cat, and a brown owl had replaced the four others in the team.

“Finally, the old man’s awake,” the wolf, still with Jotaro’s voice, groaned.

“We can still talk?” Joseph asked.

“That seems to be the case,” the owl, in Avdol’s voice, answered. “Or maybe, since we’re all animals, we can understand each other but not human dialect.”

“It’s the latter,” Iggy sighed. “Now I have to deal with you talking in my language.”

“Iggy,” the monkey, Kakyoin, said, “did you see which way the Stand user went?”

“What do I look like, your teammate?” Iggy rolled his eyes, settling down for a nap in the sand. “Go find him yourselves.”

“He’s a stubborn mutt, even when we can talk to him,” Polnareff, the cat, grumbled.

“You better watch your mouth, Polpol,” Iggy retorted, “because dogs like chasing cats, and this dog can outrun any cat in the Bronx.” Iggy licked his lips and let his eyes have a predator-like glare.

“You’re… you’re just joking, right?” Polnareff nervously chuckled, slowly backing away, his back arching up.

“I don’t know,” Iggy shrugged, “am I?” Without warning, he jumped up from his spot and ran straight for Polnareff.

“He wasn’t joking!” Polnareff screamed. “He’s gonna kill me!” He started to run, but faceplanted into the ground since he didn’t have good footing with his new body.

While the poor cat was spitting out sand, Iggy rolled over in laughter. “You should’ve seen the look on your face! Priceless!” he cackled.

“Very funny,” Polnareff shook the sand out of his fur. “Can’t you go just twenty four hours without bullying me?”

“Look, can we just go after the Stand user now?” Jotaro asked impatiently. “Iggy scaring Polnareff was funny and all, but I want to walk on two legs again.”

“Jotaro’s got a point,” Kakyoin added. “I don’t like being a monkey.”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Joseph started flapping his wings, but only got a little traction before falling to the ground again. “Let’s all split up and look for this guy. We’ll cover a lot more ground that way. Plus, what else could he do to us? We’re already animals.”

“I agree with Mr. Joestar,” Avdol said. “Usually, we should stick in groups, but who knows what we’ll do to each other if we go feral?”

“Then it’s settled,” Joseph declared, trying out his wings again and succeeding this time. “I’ll take to the skies, and you guys split up in whatever way you need to.”

And with that, everyone went their separate ways, searching for the Stand user.

Jotaro was having some trouble on four legs. Not exactly that it was hard to balance on (although it was a little bit), but more that it was humiliating, with his rear end sticking out for everyone to see. It made him feel better that no other humans could see him, but considering all the amount of animals that didn’t belong in the desert, he assumed that he and the other crusaders weren’t the only people affected. That also boosted his confidence a little bit, because everyone was going through the same thing he was.

“Huh. Some poor guy got turned into a squirrel,” Jotaro said to himself. For some reason, the thought of a squirrel was sending his brain into autopilot, desperately trying to take over the front of his brain. He shook his head, knocking the canine instincts out of him. “That was weird,” he muttered. “Most likely it’ll happen again. This time I’m prepared for it, though.”

Kakyoin was having an okay time, the only problem being that he had no clue what to do with his tail. It would just spaz everywhere.

“Excuse me,” he asked a panda, “did you see a man pass by here? Probably strange-looking? And human?”

“I didn’t, sorry,” the panda answered. “Are you trying to stop him?”

“I’ll do everything in my power to,” Kakyoin promised. Then, strolling along, he started to notice something. Multiple animals were standing on two legs, and much taller than they should be. As he proceeded further, he noticed that he was doing the same, too. In fact, the longer he walked, the more human he looked, up until he was himself again.

“Strange,” Kakyoin muttered. “I must’ve reached the user’s range limit. So, the closer you get to him, the more animal-like you become. But all of us, we were nowhere close to him, yet we were fully animal. That can only mean, the closer you get to the user, the more animal-like you become, first physically, then… mentally!”

Kakyoin dashed back into the Stand’s radius, not caring if he turned back into a monkey. He had to warn his friends!

Joseph has finally gotten the hang of flying, which was a relief. He was scanning the area, but no Stand user was in sight. In fact, the only thing he noticed as he was going further and further down the streets was that there were no people. Anywhere. That, and the animals that lined the streets seemed to be getting more and more feral. The farther he traveled, the more he could feel his brain acting up, meaning he had to be going in the right direction. Now that he thought about it, he wondered how far he could fly up before he turned human again? No, that was a bad idea. If he lost control mid-flight, it would be a deadly landing.

Wait, what was that just now? Joseph could have sworn it was a human. And if there was only one human, then that must be their Stand user! Quickly diving down, he opened up his beak to try and bite the enemy. However, as he dove down, his brain started acting weird. He no longer wanted to attack this man, this huge, menacing creature that could take him out in one hit. Instinct took over, and he turned the other way to fly back to safety. But before he had the chance to do that, a hand wrapped around his body and threw him in a cage.

“Poor, dumb bird,” the man laughed as Joseph thrashed about in his cage. “Didn’t think about the fact that your animal instincts would change as you got closer to me? It’s too late now, though. I’ve got you, Polnareff, Jotaro, Kakyoin, and Avdol. Now all that’s left is-”

“Iggy?”

The man turned to the black and white dog, standing in a defensive stance.

“You can’t animalize someone who was already a dog,” Iggy smirked. He had the sand around him form into The Fool, but the enemy only laughed.

“You’re forgetting something,” he said. “Your friends are currently feral. They don’t have their human intelligence. And they’ll attack anyone and anything that threatens them. You, Iggy, could likely be seen as a threat.”

Iggy scoffed. “You think I care about them? I was forced to be on this journey against my own will! I just want to fix everyone else so they don’t try to attack me and waste my time.”

“Good luck with that,” the man chuckled. He cracked open the cages of the crusaders, and they all charged straight at Iggy. The tiny dog rolled his eyes, and had The Fool attack.

Something that Iggy had learned today: just because someone turns into an animal doesn’t mean that their Stand will go away. He was completely unprepared for Jotaro’s Star Platinum, which punched Iggy right in the face.

“Small one in my territory,” Jotaro growled. “Must kill!”

“What kind of an enemy are you if you talk like that?” Iggy asked. Of course, he didn’t get an answer, just some angry oras. Iggy put up a defensive wall of sand, but Star Platinum was getting uncomfortably close to breaking through it. While the barrier was still up, Iggy ran to hide under The Fool, in hopes of fending them off for a while. However, he wasn’t prepared for Joseph to fly under the belly of the Stand, reaching out with Hermit Purple.

“Predator spotted,” Joseph cawed. “Will scare away!”

Iggy thankfully dodged just in time. He could sense another animal sneaking up on him from behind.

“This time I scare the dog!” Polnareff cackled. Iggy whipped his head around, giving Polnareff a deadly glare, with a growl to match it.

“Nevermind!” Polnareff said as he ran away.

As Iggy was chuckling to himself, he was almost burned by Magician’s Red.

“Hey!” he shouted. “I need these legs!”

“Then I guess it would be okay for me to attack the rest of your body,” Kakyoin replied. Iggy blocked the emeralds barraging toward him with sand with ease.

“You can talk?” he asked.

“Apparently so,” Kakyoin replied. “It seems to me that I have a more fluent language than the rest of these guys.”

“So that means you don’t want to kill me, right?” Iggy chuckled nervously.

“Are you kidding me?” Kakyoin laughed. “My one goal in life is to kill you!”

Iggy sighed. “Well, if you guys are too far gone, I guess there’s nothing left for me to do except fight back.”

Of course, fighting back was easier said than done. Even though Iggy had scared Polnareff, the cat was still attacking The Fool with his Silver Chariot, as was everyone else. Iggy would attack, but it took insane concentration for him to just be able to block all of the attacks coming his way. If he attacked, that mental energy would go to offense and not defense, which wouldn’t normally be a problem, except that five feral animals with Stands had surrounded him.

“Give up, Iggy!” the enemy laughed. “You’re surrounded!”

“No, thanks,” Iggy smirked. “The one thing I hate more than this group of idiots is stuck-up people like you, thinking they rule the world.”

While Iggy was preoccupied talking to the enemy, Jotaro snuck up and sunk his teeth into the little dog. His heart was pierced through, ribcage shattered, and lungs destroyed, so much so that he started coughing up sand.

Sand?

“Little one no taste good,” Jotaro said as he spat out small grains. Iggy, laying on the ground, started to become discolored, and his dead body disintegrated before becoming a pile of the dry desert soil.

“What?” the enemy cried out. “Wh… h… what happened to Iggy?”

“I’m right here,” Iggy, who was now right behind the enemy, said. “You didn’t notice that Iggy was a fake decoy?”

“Why, you…”

“Now, it’s time for me to listen to my animalistic instincts,” Iggy laughed. “Say goodbye to your hairline!”

While the enemy was busy trying to pry Iggy off of his head (to no avail), the rest of the crusaders slowly morphed back into their human form.

“See?” Joseph said. “Iggy would come in handy one day!”

“I still have sand in my mouth,” Jotaro griped.

“But at least you’re not a wolf anymore,” Kakyoin replied.

“And I’m not a cat, anymore, either,” Polnareff sighed. “Thank goodness. Iggy almost killed me twice.”

After Iggy left the enemy passed out and completely bald, he looked back at Polnareff, with a dangerous glint in his eye. Polnareff took that as an invitation to a head start to getting away from the dog and bolted away, screaming.

“Looks like some things never change, no matter what species you are,” Avdol chuckled. “Come on, we need to get back and rest. It’s been a tough day.”

“Guys! Help! Help me!” Polnareff shouted. Everyone looked over, and burst out in laughter.

“Now we just need to find Dio’s mansion,” Jotaro said.

[rainydaydream-gal18]

Steve Rogers x Reader: The Nutcracker(AU) Part 3

(Warning, these are long)

 An hour or so later; you, Steve, and Natasha were on the road.  You wore a warm winter outfit and a thick coat over it with a hat and mittens.  And what do you know?  Trudging through the snow with actual winter boots made it a much better experience.  Natasha was dressed similarly, and Steve, well, he didn’t exactly need any winter gear in his nutcracker state.  Must be nice not having to worry about getting cold.

   It was hours of trekking through the snow.  You passed the time with word games and asking questions about the kingdom. Natasha and Steve enjoyed it.  They asked you questions in return about your life back home.  It was a learning experience for everyone.

   As the three of you approached the frozen lake, it seemed so vast.  One thing you hadn’t noticed before was the little cabin perched right at the shore.  Smoke rose from the chimney, and you were reminded of the quaint town you had left behind.

   “Oh great,” Steve muttered, stopping at the top of a hill.  “I forgot.”

   You glanced at him.  “What?”

   Natasha smirked at you.  “An old friend of ours lives in that cabin.”

   “He and I didn’t always agree on things,” Steve elaborated.  “He refused to stay at the Royal Garden Inn with everyone else after the Mouse King raided the castle.  Likes his space.”

   “Castle?”

   “Yeah, you could say I used to work there.  Like Romanoff.”

   “Ohh, I see,” you adjusted your coat.  “So, what does this mean?  Are we still able to cross the lake?”

   “Not without Tony’s help.”

   “Tony?” your brows rose incredulously.  “As in Tony Stark?”

   “Yes, the famous inventor,” Steve confirmed.  “At least, he’s famous here.  How did you know?”

   “Oh,” you shrugged.  “It’s a long story.  But for now, let’s just pretend I overheard something about him at the inn.”

   “Alright then.”  Steve shook his head.  “Either way, I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to run into him again.  Not looking like this.  Tony’s going to have a field day.”

   Knowing what Tony was like in the Avengers movies, your Captain America nutcracker was certainly right.  However, if he said that the three of you couldn’t cross the lake without him, he would have to deal with it.  In reality, you were excited to meet the character in this world!

   - - - -

   You, Natasha, and Steve stood at the doorway to the log cabin.  Steve and Nat exchanged looks as if daring the other to knock. You shrugged and knocked a few times without hesitation.  Steve sucked in a breath, and Natasha looked like she was trying to hold back a smirk.

   The door opened, and there he was.  Tony stood there, brown eyes staring down the three of you.  His gaze rested on Steve before he burst into laughter, hands on his stomach as he roared.

   “Really, Tony…” Steve grumbled.  “It’s been a while since we saw each other, and this is how you want to go about this?”

   “Hey,” the inventor chuckled.  “You show up on my door looking like that and expect me to act like nothing’s up?  It’s fair game, Cap, and you know it.”

   “Alright, alright.  Have at it.”

   “So, what’s your plan?  Chop your arm off if you need firewood?”

   “Theeere it is,” Steve sighed.  

   You shook your head, though you were unable to hide a smile, as you interjected.  “Come on, guys, let’s try and grow up.”  

   Tony’s laughter died down, and his expression became more skeptical as he looked to you.  “And who are you?  I don’t think we’ve met.  Friend of the Royal Highness, I presume?”

   “What?” You tipped your head to one side.  “No, I’ve never met this prince that everyone keeps talking about.”

   “Um, yes you have.”

   “Tony, don’t,” Steve warned.

   “I never took you for the type to not flaunt your royal status.  You had no trouble doing that at the palace.”

              “Look, I never wanted to ‘flaunt’ my royalty.  There were some people who seemed to forget that I was the one in charge of running the kingdom, and they wanted to do things their way.  I had to remind them from time to time.”

   “Wait, what’s going on?” you questioned.  “Steve?  Are you the prince?”

   Steve looked at you and nodded.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you at first.  I intended to.”

   “It’s fine, I mean, it doesn’t really make a difference,” you explained.  “But what does bother me is we’re having this discussion out in the cold.”

   Tony shrugged and stepped aside so the three of you could file in.  His cabin was basically a steampunk workshop with odd devices scattered about and hanging on the walls.  There was even a steampunk Ironman suit in the corner.

   “Thanks, Tony,” Natasha said.  “Now, we didn’t come here so you could make fun of Prince Steve.  We’re actually trying to cross the frozen lake to-”

   “To find the Sugarplum princess.”  Tony rolled his eyes. “You’re not the first.  There’s no proof that she even exists other than some ruins where a castle used to be.”

   “Well, that’s something,” Steve grasped onto that hope.  “___________ and I need to get there and turn back into our original forms.”

   Tony looked at you.  “What happened to you?  You look fine to me.”

   “The Mouse King shrunk me in my world.”

   “Oh, gotcha.”  He stroked his beard as he contemplated this.  “I’ve got just the thing to help you lot across the lake.  It’s in the workshop out back.  Believe or not, I made the finishing touches last night.”

   “Wow perfect,” Nat said.  “You know, we could use that brain of yours.”

   “Yeah, I’m sure you could,” Tony plopped down in a couch and put his feet up on the coffee table in front of it.  “But I’m sure Prince Stevie wouldn’t want me coming along.”

   “Actually,” Steve spoke up.  “Nat’s right.  We could really use you on the team, Tony.”

   Tony’s brows rose in surprise.  “Isn’t this a pleasant surprise?  Cap needs my help.”

   “Wait, why do you call him Cap if he’s the prince?” You asked.  “Not to change the subject or anything.”

   Tony chuckled.  “It’s short for Captain of the Guard.  That’s what he used to be before he was granted Prince status by the kingdom.”

   “Ohh, I see.” 

   “Anyway,” Tony continued.  “You sure you want someone with different ideas than you along on the trip?”

   “Tony, it never bothered me that you have different ideas.  Yes, we are very different.  Polar opposites.  But you’re a smart man, and we need you.  The sooner we find the Sugarplum Princess, the sooner me and ___________ can get changed back and maybe even get help taking down the Mouse King.  Then we can all take our rightful place in the palace again.  You get your old workshop back.  Nat and the rest of the guard resume their post.”

   “And you get your nice throne back wrapped up with a pretty bow,” Tony stated, a hint of irritation in his tone.  

   “I’m going to do things a little differently,” Steve said.  “There’s no way I’m letting someone like the Mouse King get through again.”

   “Well, what can I say, Cap?” he shrugged.  “I guess I’m in.”

   “But Tony, you have to- Wait, you’re in?” Steve asked.  

   “Yep.  Let’s do this thang.”

    - - - -

   “Wow, Tony, you’ve really outdone yourself,” Natasha complimented, giving the horseless sleigh a pat with a gloved hand.  “You sure this thing will get us there in one piece?”

   “Oh yeah.  This baby is pretty fast.  In theory, that is.”

   “You haven’t tested it yet?” Steve asked.  “You know what? I don’t even want to know.”

   “Well, what are you all waiting for? Christmas?  Get in, and let’s get rolling,” Tony ushered you inside.  Steve volunteered as tribute and jumped in first, reaching out a hand to help you.

   “I hope this thing doesn’t blow up in my face,” you grumbled, climbing in.  It was a casual display of chivalry, but you got bashful as Steve helped you into the spot next to him.

   “If it does, it’ll have to go through me first,” he assured you.

   “You’ll just feed the fire,” Tony pointed out with a shrug.

   “Don’t say that!” Nat gave him a slap with her hat.  

   Tony raised his hands defensively.  “What? He’s literally made of wood!”

   You rolled your eyes and hugged your knees to your chest as the inventor started up the engine.  It sounded like a few gunshots going off before the sleigh shook violently for a moment, and then the whole thing shut off.  After a few more starts, the sleigh finally roared to life.  

   “Woohoo!” you exclaimed.  Then, your mood quickly changed when you happened to glance over your shoulder and see the Mouse King and several of his minions racing across Tony’s backyard towards where you all were at the edge of the lake.  “Um, guys?”

   Tony’s eyes followed where you were pointing.  “Looks like we got this thing started just in time.  Mouse Guy and his boys are on their way.” He shifted gears, and the sleigh took off flying onto the frozen lake, spraying snow and ice everywhere.  “Thaaat’s right, chitauri. Eat my dust.”  Tony shifted another gear, and the sleigh picked up speed.  Just like that, the chitauri looked like ants in the distance, growing smaller and smaller behind you.  With the danger evaded, you took a moment to enjoy the feel of the wind in your hair.  It was ice-cold, but was still a lot of fun.

   “This is awesome!” you exclaimed.

   “Oh, you want to see awesome?” Tony smirked.

   “No, Tony,” Steve scolded.  “Do not start doing donuts on the frozen lake.  We have a destination to get to!”

   Surprise, surprise.  Tony did a few donuts anyway.  You noticed Steve’s irritation melt away when he looked over at your grinning face.

   Next thing you knew, the sleigh engine began to sputter mid-donut.  Your smile quickly vanished.  The group hadn’t made it across the lake yet.  If the engine gave out now, it could be problematic.  It revved once or twice, and then it finally just died.

   Tony looked at Steve.  Steve looked at Tony.

   “You’ve got to be kidding me, Stark,” Steve complained, face-palming.

   “Hey, I barely had a chance to test it before.  We were bound to run into issues anyway.”

   “But you didn’t have to push it like that…”

   As the two of them began arguing, you and Natasha exchanged looks and shook your heads.  “Looks like we’re camping out on the lake,” she said. “With all due respect, Prince Steve, I think you two should stop fighting and start getting ready for when the temperature drops.  You do have an emergency kit in this thing, right Stark?”

   “Of course I do,” Tony replied.  “There are a few compartments under the seats with firewood, blankets, and some snacks.  It should be more than enough for a few nights.  Worst case scenario, if we run out of firewood, we can throw one of Cap’s arms in there.”

   Unamused by his comment, you reached under the seat and found the blankets.  Then, Steve and Tony started hauling out firewood and piling it up.

   “We’re fortunate to have left the Mouse King in the dust,” Tony commented.  “You don’t think they’ll come after us out here, do you?”

   “No,” Nat stated.  “He’s too much of a coward.  And even if he did, it would take them a while before they could reach us.  We went pretty fast.”

   “That’s good to know,” you said, watching as she pulled out flint and steel and lit the fire.  “Also...why are we building a fire on the ice?  Won’t it melt?”

   The scientist of the group spoke up immediately.  “Interestingly, no. Fire burns upward, so it won’t melt the ice.  Plus the ash creates a sort of bedding around the fire to keep it from hitting the ice too.”

   “Oh wow, that’s pretty cool.  And comforting.”  You sighed, spreading out a blanket to sit on beside the fire.  “If it weren’t so freaking cold out, I’d really enjoy this more.”

   “Tell me about it,” Tony agreed.

   Steve sat down beside you and put an extra blanket over your shoulders.  Nat glanced at him, and then smirked at you knowingly.  Tony didn’t miss the moment.

   “You’re being as gentlemanly as ever, Cap.  What’s up?”

   Steve stared at him.  “What?”

   “Nothing, I just noticed you’re being extra attentive.”

   You wanted to crawl back into the sleigh for the night and disappear.  Steve just met Tony’s gaze sternly, and thankfully, nothing more was said on the subject.  You also saw Nat elbow Tony out of the corner of your eye.

   As the night drew on, the temperature did indeed drop.  A lot. You thought it was cold before, yikes, you had no idea what was coming.  Fortunately, the fire helped a lot.  Tony passed out, and Nat drifted in and out of sleep a few times.  You could tell she was a light sleeper, probably from being a soldier-spy.  Soon enough it was just you and Steve awake.  How conveniently romantic.  It wasn’t though.  Actually, it was a little awkward at first.  Neither of you said anything for a few.  Finally, he looked over at you.

   “You warm enough?”

   You tore your eyes from the warm glow of the fire and met his blue ones.  “Yeah, I suppose.”

   “I know it may not be much help, but come here.”  He opened his arms a bit so you could sit right up against him, and you obliged.  You expected it to be like sitting against a wall or a wooden dresser, but strangely, it was comforting.  It was safe, and perhaps you imagined it, but it was a little warmer.

   “Thank you, that’s actually much better,” you told him.

   “I’m glad.”  He ran his hand up and down your back, as if hoping the friction would bring you more warmth.  “I’m sorry we were delayed another day.”

   “It’s fine.  Things happen,” you chuckled, shooting a glance at sleeping Tony.  “Either way, I’m just glad we’re all safe and sound.  Cold, but safe.”

   “Me too,” he agreed.  “Soon we’ll find the Sugarplum princess, and you and I can go back to normal.”

   “So she seems cool,” you concluded.  “What else do you know about her?”

   “They say she’s very beautiful, kind, and compassionate,” he continued, eyes softening.  You recognized a pang of jealousy in your chest and a weird twisted feeling in your stomach. Would Steve fall for her?  His hero?  The one who would change him back and restore the kingdom?  

   “That’s cool,” you said, not wanting to dig any deeper on that matter. “I do have another question for you. Why did you not want to tell me you were the prince?”

   “Oh, that,” Steve scratched the back of his head.  “I didn’t want you look down on me for letting my kingdom get overrun by the Mouse King.  That, and also because I didn’t want you to see me any different if I was a prince.”

   “Me?  Look down on you? Never.  And to be honest, you’re a superhero in my world, so any star-struck behavior on my part has already passed.  Finding out you are the prince here didn’t really change how I feel about you.”  

   He smiled.  “That’s good to know.  You’re amazing, you know that?”

   You looked up at him, a mixture of surprise and warmth in your eyes. “Thank you.  I wouldn’t say ‘amazing’ exactly, but I appreciate it.”

   “Well, you are.”

   The two of you continued your conversations, talking about random things.  It was a different experience getting to know Steve versus seeing him on the big screen.  Since he was a prince of a kingdom here, there were some obvious differences.  But he still had the same calm demeanor, selflessness, and kindness.

   You awoke to Natasha gently nudging you.  You weren’t sure at what point you had drifted off to sleep last night. You awoke a few times, missing your home and wondering if they were worried about you.  After tossing and turning a bit, you must have fallen asleep.

   “Good morning, sleepy-head.”

   “Good morning,” you yawned.  Tony and Steve were already getting the sleigh loaded.  “We’re leaving already?”

   “Yeah, Steve insisted we let you sleep a bit.  He said you had a rough night.  You okay?”

   You nodded.  “I guess I was a little homesick is all.  I’m good, though.  Thanks.”

   “Glad to hear you’re better,” she helped you pack up the blankets.  Boy, it wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been last night, but it still wasn’t the most pleasant.  “Stark managed to get the sleigh working again.  It was quite the ordeal.  I’m surprised you slept through it.”

   “Wowzers, well I’m glad we don’t have to walk the rest of the way.”

   “I’d have to kill Tony if that were the case.” Nat lifted a brow, and you had a feeling she might be only half-kidding.  You hopped into the sleigh in the same spot next to Steve, and Nat and Tony got in shortly after.  Tony started it up, and you were off!

    It was a while before the island came into view.  Upon arrival, Tony was sure to park the sleigh out of sight just in case the Mouse King showed up.  It was very doubtful, but you never know.  Taking a look around, you realized Fury had been right.  The only thing left of the Sugarplum Princess’ castle was ruins. It was snowy and beautiful like the rest of the land here, but nothing seemed particularly interesting about it.

   At least, not at first.

PART 4 (FINAL PART)