#in my defense i had less time
Text
books read in 2023
the ones who walk away from omelas - ursula k. le guin (5/5)
animal farm - george orwell (4/5)
the mystery of the blue train - agatha christie (4.25/5)
the memories of sherlock holmes - arthur conan doyle (3.5/5)
five survive - holly jackson (4.75/5)
liars, inc. - paula stokes (1.5/5)
blindness - josé saramago (4.5/5)
the hound of death (a short story) - agatha christie (3.5/5)
the lies we tell - katie zhao (4/5)
the magician's nephew (the chronicles of narnia #1) - cs lewis (4/5) (rr)
peril at end house - agatha christie (4/5)
rebecca - daphne du maurier (5/5)
these violent delights (tvd #1) - chloe gong (3.75/5)
the lion, the witch and the wardrobe (the chronicles of narnia #2) - cs lewis (5/5) (rr)
the screaming staircase (lockwood & co #1) - jonathan stroud (5/5)
the dagger in the desk (lockwood & co #1.5) - jonathan stroud (4.25/5)
espaços de recordação - aleida assman (academic)
murder at the vicarage - agatha christie (4.5/5)
the whispering skull (lockwood & co #2) - jonathan stroud (4/5)
the hollow boy (lockwood & co #3) - jonathan stroud (4/5)
the creeping shadow (lockwood & co #4) - (4.75/5)
the empty grave (lockwood & co #5) - jonathan stroud (5/5)
a treatise of human nature - david hume (academic)
ensaio sobre os dados imediatos da consciência - henri bergson (3/5) (academic)
lord edgware dies - agatha christie (4/5)
the communist manifesto - karl marx & frederich engels (academic)
the horse and his boy (the chronicles of narnia #3) - cs lewis (4/5) (rr)
matter and memory - henri bergson (3/5) (academic)
the hour of the star - clarice lispector (5/5)
bergsonism - gilles deleuze (3/5) (academic)
three act tragedy - agatha christie (3/5)
the hound of the baskerville - arthur conan doyle (4.5/5)
happy place - emily henry (5/5)
death in the clouds - agatha christie (2.75/5)
prince caspian (the chronicles of narnia #4) - cs lewis (4/5) (rr)
los marcos sociales de la memoria - maurice halbwachs (4/5) (academic)
how to worship Jesus Christ - joseph s. carroll (5/5)
introdução ao estudo do método de marx - josé paulo netto (4.5/5) (academic)
anxious people - fredik backman (5/5)
the collective memory - maurice halbwachs (5/5) (academic) (rr)
murder in mesopotamia - agatha christie (4/5)
cards on the table - agatha christie (4/5)
the voyage of the dawn treader - (the chronicles of narnia #5) - cs lewis (5/5) (rr)
yellowface - r.f. kuang (3.5/5)
the girl on the train - paula hawkins (4.25/5)
dumb witness - agatha christie (3/5)
the silver chair - (the chronicles of narnia #6) - cs lewis (4/5) (rr)
before your memory fades (btcgc #3) - kawaguchi toshikazu (4.75/5)
pride and prejudice - jane austen (5/5) (rr)
perfume - patrick suskind (4/5)
sociologia de la memoria - paolo montesperelli (4.5/5)
capital's unfolding systemic crisis - istvan meszaros (4/5)
the last battle - (the chronicles of narnia #7) - cs lewis (3/5) (rr)
appointment with death - agatha christie (5/5)
the great gatsby - f. scott fitzgerald (4/5)
the collective - alison gaylin (3.75/5)
para além do capital - istvan meszaros (academic)
the ballad of songbirds and snakes (the hunger games #0) - suzanne collins (4/5)
história, memória e educação - lombardi et al (4/5) (academic)
der ursprung der familie, des privateigenthums und des staats - friedrich engels (3/5) (academic)
metamorphosis - franz kafka (4/5)
murder is easy - agatha christie (4/5)
how to survive your murder - danielle valentine (4.5/5)
arsene lupin, the gentleman-thief - maurice leblanc (3.5/5)
sad cypress - agatha christie (5/5)
northanger abbey - jane austen (5/5) (rr)
the return of sherlock holmes - arthur conan doyle (4/5)
phantom of the opera - gaston leroux (5/5)
persuasion - jane austen (5/5) (rr)
one, two, buckle my shoe - agatha christie (5/5)
the suicide house - charlie donlea (5/5)
endless night - agatha christie (5/5)
life and limb - jamie andrew (3.5/5)
final offer (dreamland billionares #3) - lauren asher (3.5/5)
the valley of fear - arthur conan doyle (4/5)
capitalismo pandemico - ricardo antunes (4/5)
one of us is back (one of us #3) - karen mcmanus (4/5)
cecília vargas em incêndio na casa-grande (cecília vargas #1) - kézia garcia (5/5)
cecília vargas em um ladrão ä solta em itapainema (cecília vargas #2) - kézia garcia (5/5)
emma - jane austen (5/5) (rr)
evil under the sun - agatha christie (3.5/5)
uma oração de amor - lyta racielly (4.75/5)
minha verdade - kell carvalho (4.75/5)
il nome della rosa - umberto eco (3/5)
more adventures of sherlock holmes - arthur conan doyle (4/5)
opal (the raven cycle #4.5) - maggie stiefvader (4/5)
sense and sensibility - jane austen (4.5/5) (rr)
do deserto ao jardim (guia-me #1) - aline moretho (4.5/5)
a classe trabalhadora: de marx ao nosso tempo - marcelo badaró mattos (5/5) (academic)
o monstro dançante (baile dos corvos #1) - gabrielli casseta (5/5)
o monstro aventureiro (baile dos corvos #3) - gabrielli casseta (5/5)
um clichê de verão - lyta racielly (4/5)
hercule poirot's christmas - agatha christie (4.75/5)
o monstro rockstar (baile dos corvos #3) - gabrielli casseta (5/5)
the german ideology - friedich engels; karl marx (3.75/5)
a portland row christmas (lockwood & co #4.5) - jonathan stroud (5/5)
litte women (volume #1) - louisa may alcott (4/5)
m or n? - agatha christie (4/5)
estuda comigo? (c(o)stomizei! #1) - sâmella bridges (4/5)
conta comigo (c(o)stomizei! #2) - sâmella bridges (4/5)
#bea talks#bea talks books#let's go for another reading year!#photos not mine btw#hmmm my first 3 reads of the year were all good#8 books in january (2 short stories) so I'd say i'm doing well#4 books in february oops but at least my good reads goal of 12 books a year was achieved#in my defense i had less time#16 books until the first academic book... sad#read the entirety of the lockwood and co books in 17 days 12 if you only count the days in which i read it i need MORE#the fact i've technically dnf both academic books but its only bc i only had to read parts of it so over 100 or 300 pages in each... lovely#wow first academic book i finished this year love that for me#13 books read in march what???? so many academic ones tho#8 books in april!!!#40 books by may 27th sounds really nice#7 books in may wow#many academic ones tho#5 books in june okay for a busy month#50 books by july 22nd sounds great to me#5 books in july bc i've been stuck on 4 other academic books at the same time <3#now down to three academic books soon i'll get ot read actual fiction again hopefully#9 books in september!!!#70 books by setember feels right#7 books in october!!!!!#10 books in november dont ask me what happened (a few shrot stories tho)#10 book in december and the month isnt over yet and i have two i'm currently reading and one more to read love that#wonder if i can reach up to 100 this year too.....#16 books in december#100 books a year!!!! tho i didnt finish 3 bc they were academic but i read from all chapters just not everything from all of them tho
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Never not thinking about leela being one of the smartest and most competent people in a room full of time lords who think she’s useless because she’s human
#was listening to war room one on the way home#love gallifrey war room#Leela is genuinely such a smart character but she gets put on a planet full of people who know things she would have never had a chance to#learn (and to some extent can’t know because time lords have extra senses and all that) and yet she keeps up with them#like romana and Narvin and brax realize this (all at various paces but they all get there) and then suddleny she’s alone and has to go#through it all again with people who are even less open to humans than romana or brax#and still manages to prove herself as competent really quickly#I honestly kind of forgot what point I was making halfway through and just started talking about leela#but in my defense look at her#she’s great#anyway#doctor who#leela#leela of the sevateem#gallifrey#gallifrey audios
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this#also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background…#and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids#in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game#the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who#really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks#phantump#HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all#and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible#and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images#i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha#i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said#“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this#and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that#once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine#i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a#script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the#queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them#then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses#because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here#just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially#made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is)#so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened#i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now
118 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
dude my mom doesn't even let me identify as a pacifist without debating me on it how tf am I supposed to come out as queer lol
#i'm posting this on here because this is where I have the least amount of irls following me LOL#and the irls I have on here are the sweetest sjdjjdjd 💕💕#but I need to vent like what do you MEAN I SHOULDN'T SAY I'M A PACIFIST BECAUSE “WHAT IF YOU HAD NO OTHER CHOICE THAN TO HOLD A WEAPON”#LIKE#I feel like this goes under the same argument as “would you still refuse to eat if you were a vegan#and you've been STARVING for a month and the ONLY THING TO EAT WAS A STEAK??? WOULD YOU EAT IT THEN???“#like istg mother#if I somehow was in a life-or-death position where my only way of self defense or way to defend my loved ones#was to use a gun then I think I'd abandon a lot of the other morals and standards I have set for myself already eye-#AS LONG AS I HAVE THE CHOICE#I WOULD NEVER HOLD A REAL GUN OR FIREARM ???#I think wars and weapons and militairy are stupid af and think world leaders who use that sht are cowards and should learn how to use WORDS#which I KNOW is highly ironic considering what company I work for and don't think I don't cringe and feel bad every single time I remember#and I KNOW Sweden is one of the countries that produce the most weaponry etc in the world and I HATE IT#but alas#i do need a job#and I also can barely afford an apartment of my own much less move to another fkn COUNTRY#BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN “NAH I DON'T THINK YOU'RE A PACIFIST?” 😭😭😭 BRO I NEARLY CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT MANDATORY MILITARY SERVICE#AND I NEVER EVEN HAD TO TRY OUT BCS I HAD THE OPTION TO JUST SAY “no thanks” ?!?!?!?#WHAT DO YOU MEAN
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
the moon looked bigger in real life
#I’m tired and a little cranky#and fretful I won’t sleep well again#three good things: I made something for someone else at work today that will be useful to them#and it took some time#but I’m glad I took the time#two… I enjoyed my nighttime walk with the dogs. I think I need more fresh air and I’ll be less cranky#and the weather was cool but so mild and the moon over the trees was beautiful#three… I am growing a baby inside myself and I think I’m finally releasing some of my defensive anxiety#and letting myself believe it’s really happening to me#I can tell I’m starting to believe it’s real#because I had a total freakout in the car today#about what on earth I was doing and why had I thought this was a good idea or something I could handle alone#I mean it is a good idea… blowing your entire life up irrevocably is almost always a good idea#lest you calcify you know#but the panic means I’m letting myself believe it’s happening#IUI tag
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
You have to kidding when you say lokius or whatever is the superior Loki ship? Just because you ship it that doesn't make it superior. On top of that Mobius is the ugliest person to ever ship loki with
man, fuck off. someone asked me my opinion on Loki ships and I responded with my opinion on Loki ships. this is that whole "everyone on tumblr is chronically online and thinks every post must be About Them Specifically" bullshit I was talking about earlier. a girl can't even call her fav ship superior in her own post about her own ships without some asshole getting mad that I didn't account for Every Single Marvel Fan's Opinion Ever. make your own post about your own favorite Loki ship if you're this bitter idfc just go away
#also imagine thinking 'he's ugly' is a good defense about why you don't like a ship?#especially when that ugly person is Owen Wilson as Mobius M Mobius‚ the most precious bean of all precious beans???#when i look at Mobius I don't even see Mobius okay when I look at Mobius i see a being who descended from the heavens#Jesus Himself wept the first time He saw Mr. Mobius M. Mobius because He knew He would never live up to this man#I don't see how you can be upset with *me* for seeing Mobius for the beautiful wholesome fantastic man he is#is it my fault that you're too blind to see the complete and utter adoration Mobius has for this man‚ this god‚ this BEING he's been#searching for for years? is it my fault that you don't understand how deeply and hopelessly in love Mobius fell before hed even met a Loki?#your ignorance to the greatest love story of all time reflects only on yourself‚ anon‚ not on me#fr tho jokes aside i dont give a fuck what you ship and what you don't ship just keep that shit to yourself and your anti community#like why do you hate happiness anon?#when taylor swift said 'i want to be defined by the things that i love‚ not the things i hate‚ not the things that im afraid of‚ the things#that haunt me in the middle of the night‚' she was handing you a guide on how to be less of a miserable fuck and you just threw it out the#window#I'm not even mad man i just feel bad that your life is so miserable you gotta send mean anons about pointless shit#(also the fact that i wrote a whole paragraph praising thorki and you had an issue with my one sentence about lokius is embarrassing 💀)#look i have an ask#i need to stop posting at night because this was a lot of tags for an ask that I'll forget about in 20 minutes lmao
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
bad news... a tiktok hair care tip i heard about secondhand worked...... i shampooed twice with (known budget brand shampoo, irrelevant to tip, just saying that it wasn't fancy) and it looks like it cleared as much/more of my dandruff than years of dandruff treating shampoos. lather rinse repeat was a thing this whole time APPARENTLY (which makes sense because the tiktok was like 'the first wash gets the first layer of oil off and the second actually cleans deeper' or something of that nature. like i said. it is secondhand info cherrypicked by my partner who already washed twice anyway and was vindicated by that one in particular)
#i finally stopped the dandruff shampoo last year bc it just hurts your eyes SO MUCH if any gets in there. and it usually did#and i tried just like. scrubbing my scalp more but it didn't work that well and hurt a little so i kind of stopped & accepted the flakes#in my defense... my parents did not teach me and also both had long hair that tolerated bad haircare and still looked decent too#i used to just wash it every time i bathed and i only stopped doing that when i started dyeing it bright colors#and learned it thrived with a lot less washing than i thought it would
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
lmaO so i end up taking another leadership role in our new production (remember when i did double leadership roles last term mygod) and whilst doing another minor role as well🥲🫶🏼 why am i making my life miserable idek
tho i still need to ojt in another production,,, fingers crossed that i wont be taking another leadership role just for an ojt
#🎐#well in my defense i kinda like my roles now since i know my way around them this time#also we had less people now so we had to take major roles :((
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
it's honestly weird the way you think not going on a tangent to shove in unnecessary storylines about a minor character you decided to latch on to is "shitting the bed" instead of just normal storytelling.
it's honestly weird the way you think i give a shit about, let alone asked for, your opinion
#i could spend time and energy typing out a defense of my position#and i probably would have had you been less of a dickhead#but you're just not worth it
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m developing a new chart system
#movie chart#chart meme#jock nerd/prep goth test#comedy movies#action movies#so we got into a debate because i said i wanted to watch the barbie movie#and my boy got all ehhhhhh about watching it with me because its Girl Power and girls have cooties or whatever#so i tried to explain the magnificence of birds of prey and he tried saying how unrealistic it is#and then tried to say how great batman the edgelord is so this chart came to fruition#you have your hyper serious dark tone movies like john wick and sin city#but whereas john wick is really dedicated to realism sin city is well... sin city#and then we have the action comedies like birds of prey and red and the a team#where red had mostly realistic fight scenes. and birds of prey...... did not#please dont judge me too hard on these i havent seen morbius or rush hour or the a team#i originally had rush hour higher on the realism side but then i watched a few clips and um no no sir not realistic#my boy was the one who called it realistic with his defense being that there was no cgi. he missed the mark#the fact that jackie chan had to do the ladder scene like 50 times to get it right proves its not very realistic or feasible#in making this we also came to the conclusion that the more melee is involved the less realistic movies tend to become#anyone can shoot a gun but watching a man punch someone is only entertaining for so long before you have to spice it up with the impossible#red 2 is not on here but the convenience store fight scene lives rent free in my brain#batman is also not on here because ive only seen one movie and did not trust my boy enough to let him rate the rest#i asked him for a serious overpowered movie and his first choice was antman. he cant be trusted with this task#realistic comedy was the hardest one to do because low and behold the sillier the movie usually the sillier the action#its occurring to me that the opposite of realistic is unrealistic but here we are with me unwilling to fix it now#realistic overpowered/serious comedy test#realistic unrealistic/serious comedy test#if i just turned the a team onto its side this would be lost.jpeg i have missed a great opportunity here#neo rambles#neo just wants to watch the barbie movie in peace why do boys have to hate girl power movies#i blame marvel for this
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
//gn! ignore how its 2am :'3 maybe ill be here more soon w g.i dropped and most of latest hsr done.
#mun babbles //#tbd //#the negative feedback loop of thriving off of any ooc contact at all#so im just sticking w like my two socially active but quiet-ish servers for that#and being here less. so i focus on those even more. and dshgdgshghdgsh#in my defense i have not 'had' to do active like. 'chasing' in like a decade#so i am very very Very out of practice#w also heaps more trauma wrt 'doing it wrong/actshully ur bothering them and they hated u entire time' examples
0 notes
Text
apologies are hard and can be embarassing
but life is too short to let your grandma go to bed sad
#it wasnt a big bad deal#but i didnt listen and projected my guilt#i wanted to be angry and annoyed#but whats the point#is it really that important to feel right when youre actually wrong#to feel mighty bc youre less emotional than another person#its hard to swallow that pride and to admit you were wrong#but you never know if this moment is the last with that person#and putting in that perspective it makes it easy to say youre sorry#i sometimes forget this#something i learned very young after fighting with my mom and upon reflection realized i was wrong the whole time#ive always had this ability since then to swallow my pride almost immediately and jump straight to fixing what i did wrong#but then long story short i lost that ability when i learned the word 'no' for myself#i stopped paying attention and focused on only me#and sometimes i forget that this is not who i want to be. i forget to work on myself#im glad that i made myself apologize and im glad that i made sure i didnt apologize weakly#none of that 'im sorry you feel that way'#but id like to work on avoiding this all together. and thats hard for me. because it requires me to be aware like i used to#which for me is PTSD related. but i dont want to be on my deathbed recalling all the pointless times i doubled down#taking up time that could have been happy#people say its easy to be kind and it is but sometimes when youre guilty it feels good to give into your frustrations and get defensive#again nothing bad happened. i just told her i wanted to do the dishes. she was currently washing some and because of guilt#of my perception of what shes able to do i doubled down on me doing them instead of her even though she assured me she was able#i thought she was lying to me and she got upset. no yelling just not allowing her to do what little shes able#and not trusting her at her word. to be fair she does lie and will admit that she has- when doing things when i feel sick#even when i tell her that id rather choose what im able to do instead of her assuming. which is exactly what i did#me being a hypocrit. so yeah. not a great feeling on multiple levels of this scenario#but truly i need to remember to focus on what matters and that is just taking someones word for it while making sure they know they can#freely tell their feelings. meaning if shes doing the dishes and she says shes fine. let it be. and make sure she absolutely knows that when#i say im fine that i too am telling the truth
1 note
·
View note
Text
.
#and i think they expected my partner to cave and say yes get it since they asked more than once but we didn't like the location either#which was by the way RIGHT NEXT TO A HIGHWAY RAMP. can you imagine the fucking noise?!#i was already depressed living in their hoity toity neighborhood and hearing the highway all the time despite seeing so many trees#no fucking way i'm going to move to an apartment complex basically on the highway that purports itself to be just as good as owning a house#when i know I wouldn't be able to modify the property or have a yard or do gardening or fucking anything#and i'm still fucking mad we're moving into an apartment and not renting a house right now#we could have had a house for less than this a year ago but my partner said the rent was too much#now we're in a fucking apartment for more#i wanted a yard#i have been so frustrated and feel like i have no control over literally anything recently#i'm very happy to be out of their place and maybe it will help me feel like i have some control again#but man like nothing has been going my way and a bunch of my stuff depends on other people being open especially my partner#who keeps turning down various things on the basis of needing to do other important stuff AND THEN NOT DOING THAT STUFF EITHER#my pain makes me feel extra out of control#i can't do a task myself and ask my partner to help or do it for me. they've chastised me for not asking for help in the past. i ask.#the task is determined to either be not important enough to actually be done or they don't do it the way that i want and are defensive when#i ask that it actually be done the different way. like i go above and beyond for them and sacrifice time to go do menial stuff#because i currently have more time than them. like getting this outfit for them. i want to tear my hair out and scream#and underlying all of that my family fucking sucks and i can't do anything about that. and the world fucking sucks too#i need to go back or i'll get too tired to drive
0 notes
Text
re-reading a dai time travel fic and by god it really makes me want to write my own bc the Implications of a time-travel in dai is so full of crunchy, crunchy angst. but every time i try to write an inquisitor who is not my beloved kai lavellan my brain blanks out.
#i dont want to use kai bc i want to write it as a bull/inquisitor fic and even tho kai loves bull they definitely wouldnt romance#i did tentatively start a new game a few months back with a different lavellan inquisitor who i liked#he's much more. idk. soft-hearted than kai? more open to vulnerability than kai. less defensive about his own kindness#me eyeing the half-finished chapter of ktts: god am i really thinking about a new dragon age fic. in 2024.#time travel fics are my one true weakness i love them soooooo much lmao#and considering time travel is a LITERAL GAME MECHANIC there's like. not that many in dai fandom????#and honestly a truly horrendous lack of good long bull/inquisitor fics. whats up with that.#after dorian/lavellan i actually really love the bull/inquisitor dynamic. he was my second romance.#and there are for sure some really good ones but NOT ENOUGH.#as always if i cant find what i am specifically craving i will fucking write it myself i guess!!!!#liveblogging life#does anyone care about this? probably not. but i've had this stupid fic doc open for days now and im losing my mind.
1 note
·
View note
Text
and you will listen to my halfway unmixed vocal synth covers. you will. my final message (dies in your arms)
all the virvox guys in voicevox humming! yume no tobira piano ver vsqx by leah ocarina and the instrumental is by 友紀!
#wip#vocal synth#voicevox humming#i will never stop posting unfinished covers!!!! never!!!!!#hfkjdjgskfdsd in my defense its because i get like 90% done a cover pretty fast#and then that last 10% takes me MONTHS HDJFKSJFS#and i have a feeling im gonna be messing around with these dynamics for. a while LOL#so listen to how it is now~ its not bad for someone who doesnt know what they're doing <3#i think some love live songs might be particularly good for voicevox humming like specifically the more 00s idol-y sounding ones#like some earlyish u's ones and such. because like theyre great and fun songs but theyre also#like less focused on super fancy voicework and more focused on like. charm. probably because they werent sure if it the#franchise was even gonna take off that much at the time and they were working with limited budgets and just kinda#figuring it all out? obvs there was so much talent front the get go. but in different areas#dance comedy acting singing pr etc. some vocalists had a lot of experience and some didnt have as much#so theres like this like. charmingly clumsy edge to some of the songs. less worry about pure vocal talent#and more focus on sounding like ur a cute anime character having the time of ur life LOL#in general thats been a big focus of the sound of the franchise -> sounding like ur having fun and#filled with passion above all else. which is why i think these songs might work for these guys pretty well!#(although u can definitely hear the noise. and how much these guys HATE su zu and tsu HJKSHJDS they're doing their best)#my beloved off-key makeshift boyband LOL you have to be nice to them. they're speaking synths pretending to be singing synths <3#dont ask how the lyrics about youth (seishun) pertain to the 50 year old man. its okay. dont bother him#also no tuning credits cuz. u cant tune in voicevox. so its all just the program LOL i thought about doing pitch correction#in fruity loops or smthng but i am le tired so i didnt <3 its part of the charm i say now. its the charm#i did go in and mess with the vsqx to change the timing and lengths of different syllables five separate times tho LOL#but thats because there are 5 dudes and i did Not want them to sound TOO much like theyre playing back the same midi 5 whole times#even tho thats what they are doing. you know how it is with this stuff HJKSHJKFDS
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
adorkabletodd
All Jason Todd
weight-lifter-blog
Consistency.
notatikea
ikea.artz
zaynmoji
mind of mine
lilithlove22
♡🌙 ♡