#in drafts
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I think converting to paganism was the best thing to happen to me because like
I never felt God or Jesus and only prayed when I slept at my grandparents house and they made me pray for 'mammy and daddy' or at lunch during school when we had to sing that 'bless the hands that made the food' song (I cannot remember the lyrics)
But i've felt Dionysus at my best and worst moments, dancing with me at my crazy messed up sugar high moments and holding me at my worst suicidal moments telling me i'm okay.
and i've felt Apollo when the sun shines brightly as I listen to music or write.
and i've felt Artemis, Áine, The Morrigan, Nemesis and Arawn be angry for me when i've prayed for some form of revenge/justice against some creepy old boy/man
and i've felt Hekate in some form as I pray for protection when things go bump in the night and i'm a little too paranoid.
And I know i'm not the best pagan because i'm primarily a riordanverse blog and I like to read comics based off the pantheons I worship but I really feel like the gods don't care about who I am here
#I'm sorry to Christians if it offends you but I was NOT happy there#Especially considering HOW I left christianity#the first draft of this post was me explaining how that happened but I say some pretty emotionally charged but kinda harsh sht so its stayi#in drafts#but summary is a classmate of mine attempted to kill himself and I begged to God that night sobbing that he lived#And I think you can guess how that went down...#hellenic deities#hellenic polytheism#celtic paganism#greek paganism#paganism#pagan#wolffox speaks#personal vent#? can it be called a vent?#tw christianity
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Oldie but a goodie 🌸
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If you had Life Eternal?
#the band ghost#pls bring back life eternal live#ok ok#anyway#gif set warning#cardinal copia#my edits#in drafts#a experiment
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get ready!!!!!
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when you're again listening to a plague of lighthouse keepers and only 3 minutes left. Then someone calls you to visit a real lighthouse NOW SPONTANEOUS but. GIVE THESE 3 MINUTES. ONLY. 3. YOU GET ME?
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the state of J
This is more of a word womit and a vent than anything else I guess. Maybe I'll typ it out and get it out of my brain and it'll be better.
I just sort of realized what's been bringing me so down lately, I mean other than a few other things that are constant.
Today is my mom's birthday, but it's also my only close uncle's birthday. I have 2 uncles-one we don't really talk to at all. This one unfortunately was tasked with picking up the slack because my father wasn't there. And it's his first birthday since he passed away last summer.
It just hit me today. And it's dawning on my just how very very low I am.
And I knew April/May was going to be rough anyway because gram passed away last april 29.
This is affecting everything in my life apparently. And coincidentally JJ has a bunch of trauma anniversaries happening this month.
I feel like I'm in an angst cycle here and it's not fun. She should be happy. She's got a wonderful family, friends, a wedding coming up.
But she's frustrating the ever-living hell out of me. I hate that I've dumped my trauma on her and I feel like I'm pushing EVERYONE away on here, on discord and irl. Part of me knows it's not true-that everyone's busy and dealing with their own stuff. I just am feeling needy and I also hate that.
So I don't know what I'm going to do, but at this very moment I just want to cry on someone's shoulder, but I'm alone. And I feel like I'm constantly talking into a void.
@agentjjkelly
#death tw#mental health tw#tbd probably#I still have the post I made when she died#in drafts#I can't look at it
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my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor
#no tags either klimsdorf becomes famous or he doesn't#this is actually an old draft the surgery was like six months ago and it went well#klimsdorf
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sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me
#found this beautiful gem in my drafts and couldnt let her go to waste#frog rambles#idk whay this is about. or if its anything. but i think its funny
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I HATE MORAL OCD. well i shouldnt say hate thats a strong word. and i dont want to sound like i hate people WITH moral ocd because i dont of course. i just hate having it. but i shouldnt think that, i do like having morals, its just stressful to be thinking about them so constantly and scrutinizing every little thing i do or think. but really thats the least i could do so i should at least try, right? just because i suffer from— no, struggle with moral ocd doesn’t mean i should just stop thinking about things all together, thats not what im saying and i should make that clear, but i
#quinn talks#ocd tag#ok to reblog#this has been in my drafts for 34984 years because.#surprise. got scared to post it. morally. COME ONNN#this is a joke but barely an exaggeration.
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the xbox is a Machine. the playstation is a Device. the switch is a Toy. the personal computer is also a Machine. what the world needs, is a way to play video games on a Contraption
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astonishing how good it can feel to get some chores done sometimes. you’ll be sitting there like damn i am some type of horrid little smeagol like creature who should be crushed to death. but then you do some laundry and you’re like wrow. im actually gods most fuckable soldier.
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i wish i was a skilled gif maker that made pretty gifs instead of stationery designs that aren't well received :/
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do you guys think jesus, the son of a carpenter, smelt the wood of the cross & temporarily thought of home
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would he fucking say that? let's investigate.
#ray's tag#me convening with the council (my friends who are experts on this character) before publishing a final draft
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