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theacecouple · 1 year ago

Note

I didn't see anything from somerton until about a month ago when he popped up in my recs and I ended up binging his content for about 2 days, but something kept being off and I noticed some of the lies/ignorance, and there was something really dismissive and weird about how he talked about aspecs and women in particular... I stopped watching him cause I watched one of you guys' podcast and realized I also just felt like crap after his videos.

I did end up getting his rwrb video in my recs when it came out cause of the binge and I just remember leaving a comment about the way he talked about aces in it. It was especially upsetting seeing people in the comments who were simply happy he mentioned aspecs at all. He replied to me just saying his cowriter was ace. I don't reply to youtube comments but I just remember wanting to point out that same co-writer he was using as a shield said aces don't face discrimination or conversion therapy, and in that video wrote that aces have to have sex to find out they don't like it. Being something doesn't make you instantly know everything about it, as somerton himself demonstrates with his ignorant comments about gay history.

I'm not really one of his victims since I avoided him as soon as I found him, but I feel bad for all the people he tricked and/or guilted into believing him. I hope some other creators make videos exposing the weird way he manipulated the queer community, cause I think a lot of young folks could use a breakdown of it.

Anyways I just wanted to finish by saying I love you guys' work and learning from you. You helped me understand why certain phrases make me upset, and that and watching your podcast back to back with his videos helped me figure out what I didn't like about Somerton, so you helped protect me from him and not convince myself I was just being Weird as I often do when I get Bad Vibes from someone.

Thank you so much for reaching out <3

It's so fascinating that you stopped watching Somerton after finding us. We've tried to keep things as professional as possible these last 2 years by only citing directly harmful things he's done to us and direct members of our community, and even then it was sparingly and as kind as possible.

When we first spoke with him about including Asexual representation in his future Telos endeavors, he assured us that not only was there already an Ace in the writers' room, but that two real, fully-fleshed out Ace characters were already being written. This was encouraging! After all, we had no way of knowing if he was the kind of cis gay man who loathes Aces or doesn't view us as queer. Since this didn't seem to be the case and rep is important, we supported him. We now deeply regret not doing our research on him first.

Even before his video "The Queer Erasure of Asexuality", we started watching a few of his YouTube videos for the first time and some of the subtext was NOT kind to our community. Subtle things that we'd see get repeated by his fans over and over again, like how queer art is bad these days because all the "artists" and the "exciting queers" who "really lived" died in the AIDS crisis. Or the implication that the Interview with the Vampire reboot was *more queer* because the vampires actually had gay sex on screen, despite this being a complete departure from the source material and neglecting the fact that Anne Rice's vampires have always been undeniably queer *and also* sexless. In fact, we didn't say his name, but we did mention some vague "bad takes" we saw about the series in our podcast episodes 75 & 76 The Triumphs and Failures of AMC’s Interview with the Vampire Part 1 and Part 2...At least some of those came from James.

We did not see his rwrb video, because we had long given up on him by that point, but it is not at all surprising to hear that he had bad takes and also hid behind Nick once again to shield himself from any criticism. It was very much his MO, and yet we're also certain we've heard him chastise straight women for using the "I have a gay friend" defense.

It is so good to hear that our podcast has been helpful to you. There are FAR too many Aces who are willing to let bad behavior or ill-informed takes slide just because someone with a decent following noticed us. We deserve so much better.

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brucewaynehater101 · 7 months ago

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Cooked up an AU based on the Power Rangers & Digimon asks

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Power Rangers Digital Division

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Introducing Timothy "Tim" Drake, Batclan fan extraordinaire

Seriously, you should check out all those hero photos he's caught

And you wanna know what's better than being way too young to stay up all night for one special interest? Two special interests!

Particularly these weird .mon files he keeps finding on his journey to hacking mastery. He can't decipher them quite yet, but they look so interesting and there's so many designs

It's only when screen-of-death blue and ones and zeros climb from his keyboard to his arms and the rest of his body does he realize that biting off more than you can chew is very, very real

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Introducing Subject "Thorn" 13, escaped clone extraordinaire

Hard to not be the very best escapee when you're the only escapee. Same with being a thorn to child protective services

Good thing he got out of Metropolis soon as he could, Mr. Lex had nothing good to say about Superman back in the lab, and given the horror he was also experiencing second hand about mere cops? he trusts those tales

There's a reason he keeps kryptonite on his person, hearing and smelling and hearing so many horrible things is too much

Eat the rich, but they're good for some things

He paused his thoughts to look at his one and only companion. well, not really, but he can barely take care of himself, so a digital alternative is much preferable

Thorn was proud to say he stole it from the labs themselves. People called it an off-brand tamagotchi, but he'd say it was even better

Yuramon. It was even more plantlike than him. Demanding he be near quality soil and bath it's screen in sunlight in the real world

Sunlight on his skin, nobody questioning his presence, and no acts of cruelty nearby, he's never felt safer . . .

Ding!

[Yuramon is ready to digivolve and it wants you to see it up close and personally!]

[Will you plug in to an internet connected device?]

[Yes] / [No]

Say no to that? Hell no! He had a phone right on his person

He quickly ran to a vacant alleyway. He wanted to keep this special moment all to himself!

Connecting to the local library's wifi, he was careful to not break anything as his devices connected

Yuramon was right there on his phone screen, ready to Digivolve! Grow!

It's when his screen began to glow brighter than the highest setting and his hands were irremovable from the screen he realized something was up

Yeah when it felt like he was being sucked into the glow he had an idea where this was going

He was going to become a missing person, they'd figure out a child who stole Luthor tech vanished because of it, and Superman would get on his case

Oh come on! He stole his phone from a cop! Why is he suddenly getting the "hero learns a moral" treatment?

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Bart, frankly enough, didn't trust this world. past present or future

There was a reason the Earth was cooked if his memories and this time period's social study books were any indication

Not even the digital world faced world ending threats as often. granted, it kind of already ended itself . . .

But with him and Terriermon by each other's side, they'll find a way back; They're in this together!

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Pursurimon! Pursurimon! Pursurimon!!!1 Cassie blasts onto the keyboard

Could you blame her? Her mother just uncovered a wicked (recent!) artifact and she already got permission to blab

She attached a picture of the rusted item to her message

[Pursurimon] Woah!

[Pursurimon] My friend found one as well

[Wondrland] huh??///

No fucking way

[Pursurimon] Can I show you through the screen?

Accept Pursurimon's Request?

Yes / No

a video chat she had to assume. They've known each other long enough that she's comfortable with it

Going off topic, this forum needed to get itself together. the team might be small, sure, but not everyone could put cryptic pop-up messages and clues together

It's only after clicking yes and getting dragged through the screen with claws, that Cassie thinks there was probably more to internet safety than she thought

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This AU is takes ideas from both Digimon animes, and various Power Ranger series

Short explanation. Tim accidentally digivolved a .mon while messing with a DigiMorpher through the screen. using the digivolution energy, the .mon dragged him into the digital world cuz it was curious

Cassie's mom found a DigiMorpher and Pusurimon thought "it's fate!" and asked a friend to drag her in while it was busy draggin in Tim. Cassie & Pusuri met through the forum

Cassie coming in with her own DigiMorpher digivolved Pusurimon to Herissmon

Luthor was poking around the digital world and decided to try and raise a loyal digimon from birth. The baby wasn't even meant to hatch yet, he intended to have it be a designer baby

Thorn stole a very vulnerable prototype. When it's time to Digivolve at last, Yuramon used the vulnerabilities to meet it's partner face to face at last w/ the help of a DigiMorpher

Bart and Terriermon already had their own & figured out how to turn it on at long last (for whatever reason it would not turn on), this allowed them to reenter the digital world

This is also the eighth's first meeting altogether

In a nutshell; Tim and Commandramon, Cassie and Herissmon, Thorn and Petimeramon, Bart and Terriermon

confused? Me too. I'm jumping from section to section typing this up as we go along

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I didn't make a backstory of lore lol

Basically, the four are the DigiDestined chosen to wield DigiMorphers, special Digivices that not only Digivolve their partners but also allow the wielders to DigiMorph into the Power Rangers of the Digital Division; Digivision for short

They are a special group of Power Rangers meant to protect the Digital and Real World from threats connected to the Digital World or will have a negative effect on it

These DigiMorphers come with the ability to transport their holder and whatever/whomever they choose between the two worlds

Furthermore, as their partners, the four Digimon get this for free, no DigiMorpher required

Oh frick, the actual Power Rangers part

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Tim Drake - Virus Ranger, suit's main color is blue camouflage just like his partner's

Thorn - Data Ranger, suit mixes yellow & orange w/ accents of red

Bart Allen - Vaccine Ranger, cream with a secondary green

Cassie Sandsmark - Free Ranger, silver with golden accents

When transformed, their partners will gain pieces of armor matching or similar to the ranger's suits. in Commandramon's case, a full wardrobe change

I was agonizing over what classic colors to give the four, until I realized it was completely unneeded, canon is our bitch

DigiMorpher suits are designed to integrate traits and colors of the ranger's partner

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Team dynamics!

// Bart is from a dystopic future and was placed in a virtual reality to experience growing up in a body matching his mental age. Except he got booted into a post-apocalyptic Digital World. Oh, and he could use the speed force without restriction here

There he met Terriermon and they've been partners ever since, they also found an inactive DigiMorpher. It's a mystery they've spent forever trying to solve

By the time his mind caught up with his body, the two got booted again to what the rest call present time. Likely due to the two experimenting with the speed force or using it for something else for whatever reason, maybe it was even intentional

Due to growing up and only remembering the digital world, learning about Earth through lingering data, Bart is the de facto leader for any operations dealing with Digimon or the Digital World

However, the Digital World he and Terriermon knew was post-apocalyptic, and they know next to nothing about their Earth, much less it's history-now-present

They have their work cut out for them relearning and learning so much. Feeling out of place in their home will probably also be an angst point even if the digital world truly is better this way than it was in the future

// Tim Drake, by virtue of extensive parental neglect and a load of natural curiosity, knows the most about superism and the Real World, missions taking place there or regarding it falls onto him to work with

// So Bart and Tim are co-leaders of sort

// Cassie—by virtue of her divine lineage—is best suited for conversing with Digimon of divine/irl cultural origin. Direct relation to the Zues puts a foot in the door. She's close with her mother and has learned plenty of several cultures so the knowledge will help as well

((see the wikimon's page for list of mythological refs in digimon))

All there is to worry about is how much she knows in the first place and the cultural differences of the cultures of an entire digital world!

// Thorn—seconded by Bart—has the most learning to do

Whereas Bart has to relearn a familiar but unfamiliar world and a brand new one, Thorn has to learn two new worlds at once

Thorn is a clone fed so many lies by Luthor and he's only just figured out that some of his world is built on lies

He and Petimeramon have a long way to go, but him telling the crew his backstory may just give them a head start to listing down their future rogues gallery

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if Jason still dies and Batman spirals just like in canon, instead of Tim cleaning up after him—

Well Tim is still gonna make sure the victims are recovered from his rampage, but he's not going to become Robin. he has his own team

Instead he and Dobermon (less obvious artillery and thus less likely to make Batman think bad of them) are going to force Batman to listen to them and maybe request their teammates or other digimon they can recruit for backup

This is an intervention. Batman will either put up the cape and only come back if he attends therapy and genuinely recovers enough from his grief to be a sufficient hero again

Should Batman continue brutalizing Gothamites however, they will chase him down and have him imprisoned legally for as long as the law allows

"Do you want to keep being a hero Batman? It's yes or no."

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Attributes!

Ever since entering the Digital World (with Bart being an exception, we'll get to him when we get there) the four gained Attributes which they share with their partners. Thank the DigiMorphers for that

// Tim has the Virus attribute, as he has been hacking and distorting data for a good while

Plus Commandramon can camouflage in real time, something Tim had to learn to get Batphotos

// Cassie has the Free attribute, since she's descended from Zues who existed before technology, much less attributes, ever existed

Herissmon stores treasures in its fur only shared with close friends, a nod to Helena's archeology career

// Thorn ignores his Kryptonian heritage, wants nothing to do with supers, and tries to pass for human for his own personal peace, hence the Data attribute

His partner starting off as a petimeramon in the Baby II stage instead of Child stage like everyone else's is also a metaphor for how much learning they have to do

// Bart has a Vaccine Attribute due to having future knowledge and can thus act against threats that otherwise would have succeeded ahead of time

Oh, and a big reason for the apocalypse the Digital World went through was the X Program, which Bart and Terriermon only knew the aftermath of

Terriermon was born into the Digital World with a dormant X-Antibody of its own while Bart got that and his Vaccine attribute after the two agreed to be partners

The X Program has been dormant itself too, but better safe than sorry, the surviving digimon of the apocalypse say

I haven't come up w/ exact details but when in the Digital World, or in Ranger form, their attributes become more prominent in some way, shape, or form. Doubly so doing both at once

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They are the second generation of the Digivision, and even if information on their predecessors exist, it leaves a lot to be desired

So instead they must turn to the morphers themselves; Tim takes it upon himself to try and crack—maybe even jailbreak—them

It's up to the writer how much information they can yield from the morphers, plus the intricacies of the task (for example, say Tim need the morpher's wielder presence or even aid to avoid meeting an even greater firewall), but it's going to a tough and long ride

Maybe there's episodes where Tim or others fuck up when he's hacking places in the Digital World or the DigiMorphers or even the mechas and hijinks ensue as they cope with and try to fix their mistakes

I don't even know how they figure out the whole DigiDestined and Power Rangers deal 💀💀💀 we can worry about that later lol

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"Power Rangers, Digitize!" that's the transformation phrase

Maybe because the morphers were found rusted, in a destroyed Digital World, and otherwise left to rot for a good while

That could be a plotpoint, all the DigiMorphers are damaged in their own unique ways, repairing them requires different solutions but unlocks stronger features over time

Initially they can only transform or Digivolve, neither at once

but as their Morphers get repaired they unlock transforming and digivolving, weapons, biomerging, and the obligatory mechas

Except I want it to be a blend of biomerging and my memories of typical power ranger mechas

And I think I have a compromise. When it's time to bring the mecha out, the respective Ranger and Digimon have to be biomerged, turn into pure Data, and then they can go into the mech as data, and pilot it from there

So they effectively become the mech in a sense

When making the obligatory megamecha, it's basically eight people synchronized into one until it's time to unmerge

Said mechas are scattered across the Digital and Real world, so the team has to learn/know they exist, find them, and first time using them manually transfer them across worlds if they want to.

Later on as Morphers get repaired they can summon their mechas across worlds and to their coordinates with a command, but early into using them, this time sensitivity is going to be something they have to manage

Idk what they'd even be called I just know they exist in this au

I got nothing else lmao 💀💀💀💀

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So the DigiDestined are like, really young here, like somewhere around ten to thirteen, which begs the question

Do they look like adults in Ranger form or are obviously kids?

The former gives secret identity security + identity shenanigans + dramatic irony, while the latter can be used for Outsider POV angst and humor as kids whoop their elders asses

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Also as the Power Rangers Digital Division make a name for themselves, I think they'd try to make connections in the Digital World and maybe the real one too to gain manpower and ease the weight off their shoulders

Since they have to focus on the duties they got dubiously selected for, any other time spent outside of obligatory Ranger and DigiDestined stuff would be spent doing volunteer work and other lowscale street level stuff, like so low scale it's barely even crime fighting

I'm taking saving cats from trees lowscale

If anyone argues against them being so low-level in the super scene, even by streetlevel standards, people immedietely point to the rare times a gigantic monster popped up which only the eight were equipped to fight against via their own megamecha

and the statements where they said they're very focussed on fighting threats before they reach the kaiju vs megamecha point of fighting

its even worse if they are very clearly children

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Tim does not tinker with a digimon data on the principle that he is not playing god in a way that can go dramatically wrong but he does learn how to observe the data. Data he can record

Later on, he learns when transformed &/or in the digital world, he can view their own DNA as if it were data and some of that data in Terriermon's and Bart's is the X-Antibody they've talked about

If he can activate it, he can unlock more digivolutions and security and a major leg-up against their foes in general

Maybe he can even give it to his whole team and other allies giving them an edge in battle

And they don't need to worry about the X Program at all if they play their cards right, right?

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Wait how does this affect Young Justice/Teen Titans and canonical relationships---?

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Extra notes

Petimeramon digivolves into a candmon the first time in hopes of giving back the sunlight Thorn gave them; alas, they became a Data Attribute who couldn't

But maybe later down the line, they can become a Coronamon and give Thorn that sunlight they want to give back

Came up with Thorn's name when figuring out a believable shortening of "Thir" in "thirteen"

Heck ya boy isn't gonna like that they share a villain with Superman from the very start, that guy said Superman would have him killed!

But Cassie and Tim can teach the facts of Luthor's villainy, just how deep it goes, and the truth to contradict the lies he lived trusting

Heck if digimon based on irl mythology and the real deals interact, wtf is gonna happen? Cassie my girl, will you be okay?

Remember the post about Tim not seeing himself as obligated to follow Batman's morality? Dobermon, who Commandra can digivolve to, has the power to steal abilities and destroy Digicores, which sound up his alley when push comes to shove

idk if other power ranger groups exist here or not but the crossovers between would be fun

I mean, the words Digital Division implies other groups so that can go into the team's research as well

Heck maybe some Power Rangers are retired and or still active and there's a sideplot where after learning of the Digital Division, they try to track them down to give their own guidance and support

The wikimon is your savior if you dunno anything about digimon like me

Main thing that made me drop the idea of doing ranger colors is the fact that Bart or Tim are both team leader at least at the start

I was like "how do I make them both red & thus leader?" then I remember that fanfiction is all about heresy against canon lol

This is basically Digimon with Power Rangers tacked on, maybe the Digital Division was formed when previous rangers met digimon due to threats to the two joined together and stuck for a good long time? idk my brain is cooked

I think seeing Barbara duke it out against Digimon or the Power Rangers and even manage to get herself her own Digivice, maybe even a DigiMorpher, perhaps even a DIY version, would be fun

Barbara getting her own Digimon and being an outside context problem the Power Rangers don't even anticipate would be fun af to explore, even more her diy-ing a digivice or even morpher

While the digimon start off in one evolution branch with the same attribute as their partners, later on they will experiment with their entire trees

Speaking of evolution tree's, all I got for go-to adult stage evolutions at the start are Dobermon for Commandramon and Galgomon to Rapidmon for Terriermon

Feel free but not pressured to add onto this as you wish!

I know absolutely nothing about Digimon and only a slight bit more about Power Rangers. However, this was fascinating to read.

Some aspects I loved about this AU:

Kon's name being Thorn. Since he never meets Superman, that makes so much sense! Fics where Kon has a different name would be cool to see/explore (especially if he was glancing at alternative versions of himself).

The digital world with YJ was a very interesting concept to think about. Idk much about Digimon, but there's a ton of cool ideas to explore just with the notion that YJ has to protect an alternate dimension (dimension meaning one connected to their world but not easily accessible by the populace [like hell, virtual internet, some shit Raven sees, etc.])

Barbara would become God if she got her hands on this world, and I am here for that. That woman deserves to be worshiped and praised

The attributes are hella cool and definitely fit the characters well

Threatening Batman with jail time :D

YJ meeting sooner than canon. It's just such a cute concept

The nod to Spider-Man with the smaller level crimes

There's more, but those stuck out.

I really loved your little comments throughout and "canon is our bitch" specifically made me laugh.

I am curious about the other yj members. Would they have this AU's powers temporarily while they are part of the team?

#dc comics #tim drake #dc universe #bart allen #kon el kent #cassie sandsmark #yj98 #thank you for the ask!!!!

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semperama · 3 months ago

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hiya! so i'm moodlighting on ao3/the writer of the things all come and gone and i was just reading all the ficlets you've written over the last few days, which are all AMAZING btw, would definitely subscribe should you ever want to upload them to ao3 👀 and then i checked my email and saw the very kind comment you left on my fic and wanted to return the love. so just popping by to say i adore your work and how beautifully, effortlessly readable your writing is. i also LOVED come and taste and i so wanted to reblog the post to share it with everyone but didn't due to the fact that my little sister follows me here and i didn't want to #Expose myself akdjdkfjdjf. ANYWAY, just wanted to let you know how much i admire you as a writer and that i look forward to anything else you might share with us in the future ❤️

Please omg, I have already reread The Things All Come and Gone (which I am linking here in case anyone who follows me hasn't read it yet--GO READ IT) like three times at least and I've had the tab open all week trying to come up with an adequate comment, and it still didn't feel like enough! I can't even put into words how much I love that fic! To have you here now saying such kind things to me is making me feel all wibbly. Thank you so much!!

I'll definitely be putting some of my ficlets on AO3 soon! I have a few more prompts in my inbox, and once I get through those, I'll repost the longer ones over there. I still feel weird about putting short things on AO3 sometimes, but I know that's dumb and it'll help people find them later since no one can find ANYTHING on tumblr, so yeah. Feel free to kick me if I don't do it. (The titles though......I have to come up with titles.....)

Also lmao when I first got on tumblr, my little sister followed me too! Luckily she was never really active, and I ended up deleting that blog and making a new one that she didn't know about so I could feel comfortable posting my smutty, smutty fics. The perils of crossing the streams of real life and tumblr!!

Anyway, you're so nice, thank you so much. I'm clutching your kind words to my chest and keeping them for a rainy day.

#replies #i hope you don't mind me publishing this because i really do want to keep it <3 #like for when the 'help i suck at writing' doldrums hit...as they do

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poohsources · 11 months ago

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HELLO EVERYONE! as the year is slowly but surely coming to its end, and i'm now home for the holidays, i thought it was finally time to make another one of these. partially to give a little update on what's been going on in my life and partially as some sort of retrospect for this past year and a look into my plans for next year.

looking back, it's been quite an eventful year — especially when compared to the weird covid years we had to deal with previously. the biggest change was probably my dropping out of college to start a dual studies program in law. i did like my college program just fine ( until i didn't anymore ) but i really feel like law is my thing. and apparently everyone else in my circle of family and friends thinks so as well because i seem a hell of a lot happier than i did before. kinda unfortunate it took me seven years since quitting high school to figure that bit out, but hey, at least i got there in the end. it's been quite time-consuming, and i feel like in those past five months, i've already learned more than i did in all my years of college, but it's fun. i also finally got some new friends my age again. it's also strange to think back that just one year ago i was still struggling financially and just generally dealing with some bad mental health stuff.

i'm actually happy now.

in terms of tumblr and roleplaying, i gotta be honest that i have been sidelining it a lot over the last months. sure, i'm still around but it's not my primary focus, and i'm learning that it's okay not to be online all the time. it's okay to take breaks and focus on other things because as much as i love this blog, the community and tumblr, there are some more important things now. still, i am and always will be eternally grateful to every single person who supports me - whether it is by liking or reblogging posts, sending asks or messages, following me or using any of my stuff. it means so freaking much to me, and i always feel so proud whenever i randomly see my own stuff pop up on my dash because mutuals use it. thank you all so very much! in a similar vein, i honestly still cannot fathom that i almost managed to double the follower count this past year. i'm probably not gonna reach the goal i've kinda been looking at until the end of the year but that's okay. i am so incredibly grateful for everyone here anyway. no matter what.

as for next year - i'm not too sure what i'm gonna do. of course. i'm gonna keep posting memes, and templates and whatever other stuff i feel like doing, but i think my activity is gonna keep on being spotty. i'm also still tempted to do commissions one day ( and we're totally gonna ignore that i've been saying this for over a year now, okay? ) but with the amount of time i don't have, i'm not sure i'm gonna be able to deliver on that. if i do finally build the courage and self-esteem to do that, it will be like an occasional thing that might take some time. however, one thing i do wanna do more of is gifs. i'm not sure what kind of gifs, but i enjoy making them and it's been way too long since i did them so i'm gonna see how i'm gonna incorporate that. or if anyone has any specific gifs they want, always feel free to shoot me an ask or a message. maybe also some aesthetic-y stuff? after all do love making pinterest boards for characters.

maybe i'll also do a blog reveal once i finally set up my multi that i've been planning to work on for months now. since i'm gonna scrap my current main blog ( which i haven't really been active on in a while now anyway ) i'm kinda thinking of coming back to writing and who knows, maybe i'm gonna reveal it here in case anyone would like to write with me.

anyway, this was a lot of rambling, and if you've made it this far, i once again wanna thank you. i know i do this a lot but i really do appreciate you all being here so much, and even after two years of having this silly little blog, it still feels unreal to me that so many people here enjoy what i do.

much love and happy holidays, pooh 🧡

#pooh speaks.#pooh's (ir)regular updates.#long post tw

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adobe-outdesign · 1 year ago

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Your thoughts on the Sandile line? I really like them, but I think they could've done more with Krokorok than just 'Sandile, but standing up'

The idea of "put water animal in sand" isn't really anything new, but it's usually an enjoyable premise. In this case, Sandile's a crocodile with what's essentially a nictitating membrane that helps protect its eyes from the sun. That's really neat, and the dark eyes both emphasize this trait and draw attention to its face.

Aside from that, there's not a ton going here, but it has a few elements, like the stripes, that will be built upon as it evolves. The colors are also decent, using a sandy brown as the base with a pinkish underbelly to add some color. The only little thing that bugs me is the legs—seriously, why are they drawn so much worse than the rest of the body?

Krokorok is a bit... weird. Not in and of itself of course, it's a fairly standard evo, but in the way it functions relative to the entire line. I don't know if this is just a me thing, but Krookodile never really felt that much larger or more advanced than Krokorok; it's a little more intimidating, but they both just kind of feel like two different designs for the same evo in a way. Basically, in other words, it feels like this line should've been a two-stager; Sandile could've evolved into either Krokorok or straight into Krookodile, but the way it evolves as-is feels a bit off.

Anyway, regardless, Krokorok's probably my favorite of this line. At this point, you can pick up on the secondary theme; these guys are part dark-type, and are designed to look a bit like robbers or crooks with sunglasses and prison stripes. It's nice—there enough to pick up on but not so over-the-top as to feel unnatural.

I also like the stripe placement here; it feels very well-balanced, though you probably didn't need the ones on the bottom of the legs or the arms. It's also nice to see more of the underbelly color.

I already went over how Krookodile doesn't feel quite evolved enough, but despite that it at least looks visually distinct enough due to changing color, eye shape, and stripe patterns. I generally like the aforementioned more on Krokorok, but it's good that they mixed things up a bit.

Visually, while the red color does come out of nowhere a bit (maybe Krokorok's underbelly should've been a darker red), it does make it pop and really gets the dark-typing across. I like the evil pointy sunglasses look, and how that shape is matched by the nostrils and the body stripes. Plus the overall theme is clearer here, which is always good.

However, I don't like the spike placement as much; instead of having a spike perfectly on top of each stripe, they're just kind of chaotically smushed along the back without much rhyme or reason. The way the first stripe connects to the arm is also strange, and the pale stripeless underbelly draws a bit too much attention to itself. Also, look at those legs—what the heck happened to the anatomy there??

Anyway, as a whole, this line is pretty solid; the theming is clear and creative, and the visual elements are decent. The only thing that it suffers from is maybe having one too many stages; but all three stages are at least distinct from each other, which is more than some lines can say.

#sandile #krokorok #krookodile #pokemon #pokemon reviews

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ambrossart · 1 year ago

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I have more questions👀

DWM:

In chapter 10 of it's said that Eddie started liking the reader because she made him feel like it was ok for him to be himself...but why did she fall in love with him? Was it love at first sight after his performance at the talent show or she got interested after the talent show and then she started liking him?

I'm curious because her feelings were already pretty strong before talking to him, since she went out of her comfort zone to get close to him. And they were obvious enough for Jeff to realize that she had a crush on him😂

It also mad me a bit sad to read that everyone knew she had a crush on Eddie but Eddie himself, and everyone knew Eddie had a crush on her except for her..even Gareth (that never knows what was going on) knew.

Paper men:

The same question popped in my head about the reason Evelyn fell for Henry, since he spat on her when they first met I doubt it it was love at first sight (or maybe it was lol). It seems to me that Evelyn has a thing for "unconventional" boys (Vic at first, then Henry and now Patrick), is it because it's in her nature to see the best in people/situations? I've said it before but I'm team Vic 100%.

Actually, I'm team Reggie (not as a potential lover because he's with Christie) I just love how you are portraying him. Will there be some Christie Reggie content in the future?🌝

Thank you for taking time to answer to all this asks❤️

I have more answers! 👀

DWM

I wouldn't say it was love at first sight, but the reader did develop an instant crush on him during his talent show performance. That night, Eddie got up on stage and was absolutely terrible, but he was so lost in his music that he didn't even care (until he heard someone laughing at him). And I think that left a huge impression on her because that's something she could never do herself. We know the reader struggles with anxiety. She doesn't like public speaking. She doesn't talk a lot during class. She's in theater, but she doesn't perform due to stage fright. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if the reader was supposed to perform at that talent show but backed out due to anxiety. So, yeah, seeing Eddie do what she couldn't do was very attractive to her, and I think that's why she was so adamant about him "embracing his weirdness" when they were kids. She wanted better for him.

However, since the reader didn't really know Eddie, I think her initial feelings were pretty superficial. They were strong, yes, but ultimately superficial. She liked his spookiness and his weirdness (not to mention those beautiful brown eyes), but she definitely wasn't in love with him at this point. Those feelings developed gradually over the summer as she got to know the real Eddie. She quickly discovered that he was even better than she imagined he would be. He's funny and charming and very, very kind. He listened to her and encouraged her. He made her feel like her thoughts were interesting and had value. For the first time in a long time, the reader felt heard and seen and supported, something she'd only ever experienced with Chrissy, and that's a very special thing.

I love their relationship so much. 😭

Paper Men

Okay, so I think in a way it was love at first sight... but not necessarily romantic, if that makes sense. You'll see what I mean over the next two chapters.

We know that Evelyn was instantly enchanted by Henry's blue eyes, so she definitely was attracted to him in a very innocent, little girl kind of way. But it's more than that. From the moment she met Henry, Evelyn's always had a very strong desire to take care of him. That's the way Evelyn is. If she sees someone suffering, she instinctively wants to comfort them, and I think Henry is a very special and extreme case due to his family situation.

But it took a long time for their relationship to turn romantic (or perhaps for Evelyn to recognize it as romantic). This is mostly because of Victor. Up until the 8th grade, Victor Criss was the object of her affection. She was obsessed with him, so Henry wouldn't have been on her mind like that. She wouldn't have let him be on her mind like that out of loyalty to Vic. That being said, I do think she and Henry developed a very intimate relationship regardless. It's hard not to when you're dealing with that situation. There are so many emotions involved. Evelyn is seeing Henry at his most vulnerable. He needs her. He truly, desperately needs her, and to be needed like that is a very powerful thing. It can really rip at your heartstrings, especially as a teenage girl.

I mean, come on, a cute boy with pretty blue eyes wants Evelyn to take care of him?

Okay 😳

Say no more, right? 😂

Honestly, I think it was inevitable that their relationship would turn romantic, just because of how emotionally charged it already was. Then you add puberty to the mix and... yeah, shit's gonna get messy real quick.

Finally, regarding Reggie and Christie, you will absolutely see more of them. They're actually going to be in Ch. 32 together, so you'll get a little glimpse of their relationship. It's really sweet, a welcome contrast to all these problematic relationships.

#answered asks #thanks for the ask!#dancing with myself #dwm #paper men #ambrossart

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psychelis-new · 10 months ago

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Hello! Hope you’re doing well.

I wanted your opinion on how accurate you think a personal tarot reading is?? There’s this tarot reader I was acquainted with on YT, loved her content & when she shifted to IG I begun Following her. She replies to everyone when they comment under her readings & so we would kind of chat too. I took a chance & asked her about a question that was nagging me & it’s no problem at all if she can’t, but would be nice to have an answer etc. She vv sweetly gave me the answer to that Q in a tarot reading!! Without being asked! As I’ve been supportive of her & her journey etc. since the beginning… Anyway, my Q to you is, how accurate do you think personal tarot readings are?? And do you feel that when your energy changes, so will your tarot reading??

Hello! It was very nice of her, indeed. I think that, after some time, it becomes natural to be willing to give back to those who really believe in your work and support you constantly. So glad she did that for you!

As I was mentioning in the last reply, I think a reading's accuracy depends on the connection between querent and reader. And by this I don't mean how much/deeply you two interact (ofc this can strengthen your connection anyway; even just continuosly being around their work/consuming their work can already help them pick up your energy better), but also on how good they actually are at picking up your energy and what you need to know at that time (=your answer). I mean: a reader you may have been interacting with for a while (not just about readings but like even messaging about whatever) may not be able to give you answers on something you need to know at a specific time, while another you may never have interacted with may be able to. Not to mention at times some readers are simply blocked out of some energies, like they cannot read them or get too accurate answers for whatever reason as well.

So yeah energies work in very weird ways: some readers may just work better for us (also at a specific time in our life) than others. For example I had been following this reader on YT for a while, but then I suddenly had to give up, half cause I didn't feel her readings were resonating anymore half for other reasons (I think I was being triggered and needed to heal something even if it was just energy-wise mostly). Anyway after a year or two, one of her videos popped up in my feed again and I decided to give it a try: now I am following her work again as she's resonating a lot with me even if it's only pacs. And I have never interacted with her in no way. My explanation to this is: it depends on if and how well our (querent & reader) energies are on the same plane at a certain moment in our life. This includes personal experiences too: we readers also base ourselves on our personal experiences/knowledge to express what we get during readings, so if we're not enough aware about a matter, we may have difficulties at picking it up correctly, we may miss the main point and result not too accurate; but it's also about the querent and how able is to grasp/welcome a specific answer and give it a chance. At times accuracy depends also on the querent's feelings/opennes about a message (ofc it depends on the subject of the question, some things may just be objective).

In my case, the more I make experiences and try different things, the more I learn/read about anything I feel like and gain knowledge, and the more I know myself (which is pretty important imo for readers, also to separate their own energy and problems from the querent and build boundaries with them too), the more my readings grow and may get more specific/particular messages too. At the core, they're still trying to share positivity and guidance in most cases, but I feel they can give more in some ways. It may be just an idea ofc.

Anyway, with the second question I think you may also mean if a reading may change in accuracy whether I'm doing good or feeling down? I generally don't do readings if I'm not in a at-least-okay mental state: it's of no use to drain my last bits of energy (which I need to get better), it won't help the querent nor me. And for sure I would struggle being accurate. But if I do pacs when I have something slightly troubling me and I just want to distract myself, it's not a big deal: I am channeling other people so I'm not in there. Knowing myself (and after some years of practice), I can understand when I have to say no cause reading could affect me (even potentially trigger me) and what I channel or when I can do it anyway and know it won't have consequences. I can also ask my Guides if it's okay for me to read and what/how and get guidance myself about it (it happened that I felt like doing a reading but they blocked me and it turned out I suddenly got tired or I needed to do something else -bless them). But anyway when I'm reading for other people, my energy is not included so it doesn't change anything.

Hope this helps somehow! Have a good day/night :)

#.#asks

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thatforgottenbasilisk · 10 months ago

Text

Time Bomb

Words: 2119 (AO3)

Originally Posted on 8/9/2022

Summary:

Case #XXX1812: Statement of Bakugou Katsuki, regarding a classmate's impossible quirk. Original Statement given 18 December, 2XXX. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins.

My eighth bad things happen bingo entry! Prompt: Confrontation

The tape recorder is clicked on.

Statement of Bakugou Katsuki, regarding a classmate's impossible quirk. Original Statement given 18 December, 2XXX. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins.

I didn't always look like this. I mean- obviously I didn't, nobody pops out the womb with burn scars that take up half their damn face and neck. I'm used to it, though, used to the quick glances as people pretend not to stare, used to the too-invasive questions, used to the looks of pity that people have when they're forced to look at me.

That's the worst part about it. Not having to relearn how to move my face and how to even talk, not the permanent change to my voice, not even the phantom pain it still gives me sometimes. No, it's the pity that's the worst, as though I'm so pathetic for what happened to me.

I saw the look the secretary gave me. I have every confidence that you would be the same, so this one's going on paper. Besides, who knows if my voice would give out before I'm done? It probably would, in all honesty. I can't even really yell anymore, of course I can't talk for extended periods of time.

At least I already knew sign language.

I looked normal until about four months ago. Everything was normal until then- well, as normal as it can be, when villains attack our class every other month. Everyone seemed to be- normal.

Nobody can have multiple quirks. Nobody. That's pretty much the first thing you learn about quirks, when you're three years old and waiting for yours. Unless you have some kind of meta-quirk that's specifically designed to hold multiple quirks, your body just can't handle the strain of more than one. That's probably why Noumus are so braindead, it's too much power for their minds to handle.

So even if it seems like somebody was born with multiple quirks, it's usually multiple facets of a singular quirk, like the production of fire and ice both being auxiliary parts of an advanced thermoregulation quirk, if you want to get real technical about the mess Half-n-Half's got going on. Those two facets are related, they have to be, if it's one quirk.

So how do you scientifically explain the correlation between having a tail- a completely normal, run-of-the-mill tail- and being made of molten wax?

Ojiro Mashirao was normal. He was one of my classmates, and though we didn't talk much, he seemed alright. He was dedicated to martial arts, which I can respect, and he was overall less idiotic than most of the extras in our class. He kept to himself, pretty much, which I didn't really blame him for, considering our peers and their... everything.

He handled everything with a weird sort of calm about him, and I honestly thought that he was just that skilled in the art of not giving a shit, which, again, I can respect. He kept a level head through multiple villain attacks, many instances of people's bullshit, and pretty much anything that UA threw at us. He only really reacted to anything with shock or surprise before calming down and doing what needed to be done. It made him a decent person to be around in a disaster, but by that point in the year, most people's natural reactions to major events was becoming something similar.

So, all in all, he was pretty fuckin' boring.

Maybe if I was closer to him, I'd have noticed the signs sooner. He must have shown them, right? Something like that... it couldn't have happened without some kind of warning.

Maybe what started it wasn't the argument, not really. Maybe it was that battle simulation when the building fell on him, or the rescue simulation where the gas somehow ignited in the building he was in, causing it to explode- we'd actually thought he'd died, for a moment, before he came out covered in ash and no worse for wear.

Maybe it started even earlier than that.

Thinking back on it now, I do remember a few comments that he made, on occasion, that might have led to worry if everybody else wasn't ten times as unhinged. Just... wondering aloud why the League of Villains hadn't been raided with all their things burned to ash, asking if anybody else was going so stir-crazy in the dorms that they wanted to set fire to the place, asking if being more destructive would actually get him noticed like everybody else.

Thinking about that... yeah. He probably bottled shit up. Nobody knew that he was going to do- that, though.

In hindsight, there were a few other things that didn't seem to quite add up. The way that the temperature used to rise around him sometimes, even when IcyHot was nowhere nearby, the way that he stopped eating most cold foods- I know because the ice cream in the freezer that had his name on it went untouched for ages, even in summer- and just... other things.

His tail started reminding me of a torch, actually. I don't really know why. It just- it started looking like a small fireball at the end of it, instead of the tuft of hair that it really was.

So maybe there were signs. But they were subtle, and subtle really isn't anybody's thing. This class jumps from one major crisis to the next, there's no time for emotional detective work between people who weren't friends, and Ojiro and I... we weren't friends. I had my own people to deal with. He had his own people to deal with him.

So all of this- it all happened before the argument. The big one. It started because of something stupid, really- he was using my cast-iron pan, and I had no way to trust that he actually knew how to clean cast-iron cookware. So I yelled at him for it, told him not to use other people's shit without permission.

I expected him to back down. He generally did, unless he thought someone was being really unreasonable, at which point he might argue. He'd never yelled back at anyone before. I'd never heard him swear before, either.

"Why the fuck do you care?" He sharply asked the moment I took a breath- not quite a shout, not quite matching my volume, but certainly louder than anything I'd heard from him before.

"Because it's my pan, asshole! Do you even know how to clean it?" The thing on the stove was still sizzling, though it started getting louder at the same time the kitchen started getting hotter. I didn't really take note, at the time, since I was too busy being pissed off.

He stepped back from the stove and fully faced me, showing set shoulders and a tight jaw. He must actually be mad, huh, is all I thought to myself when I saw it.

Not once did I think I was in danger.

"Do you actually think I'm so lazy I can't even clean a pan?" His fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides, and I stepped back, just slightly, so that I wasn't in front of the stove at all.

I didn't even really think before I opened my mouth.

"Yeah, I do. So wh- " That's all I could get out before I was interrupted.

I saw it in slow-motion. The balling of his fist, the pull back, the execution. All of it. I knew I couldn't dodge it in time, so I expected to just roll with it and knock some sense into the fucker.

That's not what happened.

The second it landed, all I knew was pain. It wasn't the dull pain of impact, either, no.

It was the sharp sting of a burn.

It blossomed up my jawline, right at the point of impact, and as he moved his fist for the follow-through, it started to angle downward.

Ojiro was shorter than me, by a good margin. He could punch me in the jaw, yes, but that meant if I didn't dodge or roll with it he'd be hitting my neck pretty quickly, given the angle he was working with.

I didn't dodge. I was in too much shock to roll with it.

Have you ever felt your skin melt in real time? I felt my cheek sloping down as the heat crawled up my face, I felt my throat warp and twist with the impact. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't even scream.

Just as soon as it started, it was over. I nearly brought my hand up to my face, before I realized that the new smell in the air was my own burning flesh. I considered that touching it might have been unwise, so I didn't.

Ojiro, for his part, just backed up, staring at my face like a slack-jawed idiot. He looked down at his hand, so I did, too.

His fingers were dripping. It looked absurdly like he was melting, somehow, but then I saw the way the light reflected off his hand. It wasn't skin, couldn't have been.

It was wax.

He looked back up at me, with a panicked look on his face. I wasn't going to help him. I couldn't, not when half of my head felt like it was aflame, not when my vision was darkening at the edges from the pain, not when my legs felt like they were about to collapse from under me.

He backed away, and ran out the door. I slumped against the counter, and then everything went dark.

I woke up in the nurse's office.

Apparently I'd been found on the kitchen floor when the smoke alarms went off. The skin on my face had already cooled enough that it was going to scar no matter what Recovery Girl did, not to mention the damage to my throat.

My voice will never be the same. I can't yell, I can't talk for a solid period of time, it takes effort to be audible at all. It sucks ass.

The teachers didn't even believe me, not at first. They thought I was embarrassed about fainting while cooking, or some horseshit like that. When I kept signing about that bastard, they said something about how Ojiro had gone outside for the smoke alarm, though when I kept insisting that they go find him, he was gone.

Nobody could find him anywhere, he'd just vanished. Exactly like I predicted, actually. I knew he'd vanish after a stunt like that, of course he would, considering the proof that he's working for the League is carved into my fucking face.

Getting a second quirk must have been the boon that he wanted in order to join up, right? The teachers finally caught on, and they seem to think so too. They're convinced that Ojiro was the UA traitor, which is a sentiment I don't disagree with.

It would be impossible for him to do that naturally. So, either the mysteriously vanishing asshole's a medical miracle, or he was working for the League. I know which one I believe. I just- I just don't know how the hell he was still functional, like that.

Statement ends.

- This Statement, though originally written in Japanese, is the first in a large batch that got sent over from China, along with English translations. The audio recording is of the English translation, so it may not be entirely perfect or accurate to the events recounted in the original Statement, but I've been assured that if concerns should arise about the quality of the translation, we do have some translators on staff, including some for Japanese-to-English and the inverse.

- That being said, from what Sasha was able to find, this Statement does seem to hold up to scrutiny. I would actually wonder why it was made at all, considering that this seems to be more of a scientific mystery than a paranormal one, if the boy in question- Ojiro- wasn't so adept at remaining sane while his body was likely straining quite a bit with the power of multiple quirks. In addition, this "new quirk" sounds vaguely familiar, I believe that there has been a Statement on people made of wax before, what was it... Case number 0121102, I believe.

- Nobody at UA, the high school that both boys attended when this Statement was given, was available for comment, and Bakugou himself left no contact information. From what I can tell, he seems to be attempting to move on from this incident, and is recovering from his injury as well as can be expected.

- End recording.

The tape recorder is clicked off.

#mha crossover #tma crossover #crossover fic #my writing #Time Bomb fic #not touching that REAL TAG no sir

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erabundus · 1 year ago

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anonymous &&. said... message from katxgirlxoxo: i think were in the same town? maybe i was seeing things but i thought i saw you the other day at the mall. wanted to say hi but you looked busy. didn't know you were close to the ghost hunter streamer too. that's so cool. <3

he's just gotten out of the shower — recently enough that his hair is still DAMP and wants to stick annoyingly to his face. ( at least it smells like cherries as opposed to an ashtray. ) it's a few hours until he streams, which is on average about as much time as ren needs to mentally prepare himself to act like a functioning HUMAN BEING. his head is still cemented in a weird space, but he's never needed to be in a good mood to be entertaining — on the contrary, his most devoted followers seem to like it when he's particularly sour ... so perhaps it's all for the best.

he's staring at his messages. he isn't sure for how long — just that it's been enough to surely qualify as PATHETIC. niwa's frantic clarification. the awkward ( yet genuine ) exchange with kaminari. his thumb hovers over kazuha's username and something twists inside his chest PAINFULLY. he's read their last few conversations over and over and over enough times that the thought of doing so again makes him feel physically ill. even so, there's a little part of him that itches with the urge — as though the hundredth parse through would be able to grant CLARITY he wouldn't have been able to glean after the first dozen. sometimes, he can't help but yearn to tear out his own heart. strip away his feelings, his worldly attachments, leave himself empty and pure and void — for surely those things have done nothing but bring the streamer endless misery. he's always been too EMOTIONAL, whether it be as a child clinging to niwa with a pitiful tear-streaked face or now ... a firecracker, straining against its too-frail paper shell, ready to explode at the smallest spark.

teeth worry his lower lip. his finger inches ever closer — yet before ren has the opportunity to select kazuha's name, a notification pops up to STEAL his attention. new message.

❝ ... ❞ he thinks about it for a second, but ultimately decides to investigate. ( to spare himself from more insufferable rumination, if nothing else. ) the username feels kind of familiar — and he only needs to scroll up to see that yes, he has spoken with them once before. although ... the contents of this particular message do bring him pause. at the mall? as if he actually goes outside. ren would ordinarily pass it off such comments as the work of a doppelganger. a coincidence. a case of mistaken identity. however ... if chongyun is involved, they're probably talking about kaminari. so, still a doppelganger — but of the eerily identical relative variety.

it's still a bit weird, though. commenting about where he lives and all — but that's nothing ren isn't already used to. the nature of his content oft attracts a medley of inappropriately OBSESSIVE fans. he tries his best to ignore it whenever possible, provided they keep giving him their time and money.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑: irl cryptid sighting

he'd rather lie and let them think it's him they saw. saves kami the trouble.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑: chongyun right? 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑: we've raided each others streams a few times. 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑: they're pretty cool 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑: ....... just don't tell them i said that

#anonymous #cryoexorcist #stalking tw #𝟎𝟏𝟕 : 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘳𝘺. ◟ v. modern .◝#( SWEATS HE HAS NO IDEA )

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khalessi-aline · 2 years ago

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My living situation is unique. In fact one might say my whole life has been unique. From one trauma filled hellhole to another, so many fucked up things again and again until I somehow managed to get somewhat stable.

And I live in fear of that being snatched away.

I've even figured out what the issue is. I've never had an "in real life" friend. Someone who was quite literally just down the stairs. Someone I could laugh with, gossip with, watch TV with, drink with, cry with, whisper secrets to, explore the city with, giggle with.....all of that. It's beautiful to have a friend in real life that you can do that with, fucking beautiful.

And I feel like it's all getting snatched away.

And I know that's not literally the case. I know he's not taking her away. And thats a weird disgusting way to put it, taking her away like she's an object. Gross. But I can't figure out a better way to put it. And like the thing is, he kind of already has. He steals her time, time that used to be mine, conversations, chats, secrets. They all belong to him now. Soon I won't even have her presence. I'll be forgotten and of course I know the whole song and dance, and what they all say. I know she means what she says and she believes it.

"Of course we'll be friends still. We won't break apart. I'm not leaving you. I'm not going to forget you."

BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE STARTED TOO.

You already have started forgetting me. Started letting go of this friendship in preparation for a true relationship and I'm hurt. I'm fucking hurt. And nobody sees it, nobody cares. And of course it's not her problem. She deserves happiness and love and a true relationship where she is worshipped and cared for and cherished. Absolutely. Absolutely she deserves that.

I just want a fucking connection, I want to not be alone. I'm exhausted of people with their friends and their high school friends and their college friends and their mom friends and their "in real life" friends. And I LOVE my Internet friends, God knows I do. I'm so thankful, so very very grateful, it's a blessing that I didn't think I'd ever get. But somehow it's made me greedy. I want friends I can see daily, talk on the phone too. Yeah sometimes in the dark and in the dim barely lit emotional zones, I just wanna dial a number and hear someone's voice. I want them to come to my house (or up the stairs).....I am greedy for this connection, aching for it, angry and bitter at my own want and selfish desire and stupid entangled emotions

I can't help feel sometimes these relationships I manage to form anywhere and everywhere are fleeting, almost fake and if I stopped reaching out, those who I am connected with might stop reaching out to. I just thought......with this living situation, dependent on each other yet still self sufficient, I don't know... some stupid ass little girl fantasy popped into my head where we'd be roomies and then best friends and skip off happily together.

God what a dumb ass thought, what a stupid hope, a ridiculous little dream from a ridiculous little girl who apparently still hasn't learned anything.

Yeah, and I know at the heart of this, at the core of this is the idea that I feel so worthless, so useless, so completely fucking unworthy that it doesn't surprise me when people don't stay, when people forget about me, when people leave gradually move on and away.

I guess I just thought maybe I'd have more time and we'd build more memories......

I thought I finally had found an "in real life friend" a connection and knowing she's moving on....its just hard I guess. It's just hard. Its not the case at all but I feel abandoned. Again.

How many times can I shatter before there's nothing left to glue together.

#brain dump #thoughts #depressing shit

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posts-from-employee-427 · 2 years ago

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(Important Pinned Post)

(Hey so uh. Hi yes hello. Stanley Admin here. I don't like doing serious posts but some things have been bothering me for a while so.

I wanna start by saying this is all /lh. It's just a stupid taspblog and it's not really that serious, I'm not mad at anyone, I'm just realizing I really need to be more reaffirming on some overstepped boundaries.

I'm just gonna like. Bullet point these cuz idk what I'm doing.

I'm going to try to make a small summary of important events for people who showed up late. Try. I'm not promising anything because writing summaries tends to be very draining for me but I know it's a lot at this point. That being said please don't ask for summaries of large events in my inbox, especially of they're from a while ago. I can't get to all of them and some of them I've already summarized in the past. I've made it clear in the past that while I understand the importance of summaries at this point please don't expect them because it is exaughsting to try and create a comprehensive post of everything important from those events.

Also with asks. Ok how do I word this one. So obviously we handle a lot of sensitive subjects on here and all that. And I love angst! It's a great tool in the writers box. But if you're sending an ask that's... kind of clearly not in character agnst an more just venting, please stop that. I've had several people do this. And some have stopped, but some still do it. I'm sorry. I'm just going through a lot as well and don't know how to also help someone else or even respond to it. especially when it's several people. In character is fine!! In character makes sense and is cool. But when it's like, ok this is out of character, idk how to respond to that. Sorry.

And on characters and lore I love the amount of anon blogs that have popped up! I really do!! But. Ok story time. Once upon a time I was clarifying how anons act in the parable. I clarified that they aren't actually part of the parable, but rather outside of it and capable of interacting or changing things by interacting with Stanley. I tried to be rather insistent on this for some time, but as more people ignored it I kinda just. Gave up. The reason I was trying to insist on this is because I felt like having anons in the parable may like. Disrupt Stanley's actions. Like recently!! When Stanley reset and it effected people who it technically shouldn't have effected. It adds a weird layer of Stanley's actions effecting people who realistically shouldn't be effected by a reset.

Obviously there's exceptions. Like 432 who is obviously in the parable cuz. Yeah. ABPA you could even maybe make a case for, but how the character is handled it really works out. He's part of Stanley's universe though not part of the parable. His own thing interacting with Stanley. Like being stuck in a constant time loop in a void and getting a postcard from your buddy out kareoking saying wish you were here. It works.

Actually let's talk about the mintcident real quick. The mintcident is a great example of bending the rules but still working. It didn't break really any previous lore despite interacting with the parable. It was it's own contained thing that even cleaned itself up with a reset. Everyone was on board and it opened up the gates for me and Naradmin to do literally whatever the hell we wanted with a hard reset, and it's how we even got human narry. It was one of the first major actual plots we did beyond just hijinks. The only thing before that was when Stanley talked, which happened on the same day. It drew back on the carrot association talking about if Stanley was sacrificed to a cult what would happen, and worked itself really well. Mint and Gnarly if you're reading this you handled this greatly and it's why the mintcident is so important to this blog now. I remember they even apologized in case it messed with a prior plan (it didn't lmao).

The point is there can absolutely be exceptions to the rules but. This exceptions aren't often because. It usually doesn't work out. I'm glad when it does! It's always fun to see peoples like and how they interact, but when it gets in the way of the pre set rules I made to not cause any trouble, it gets a little difficult. Yeah.

That's all I can think of right now. This is getting pinned cuz it's kind of important, and as we're entering a new setting I wanna just. Re establish some boundaries. So things run more smoothly and it's less stressful for me. Again I'm not mad I just wanted to bring this up cuz some of this has been really stressing me out and I tried to type this all as delicately as possible. I'm really hoping any of this actually makes sense. Obviously this is all my own stuff and I can't speak for I Naradmin agrees with these boundaries or if they're even reasonable, I may be way out of line asking for this and yeah sorry. Idk how to make these kinds of posts. Not sure what this will look like for people moving forward, I don't have a good answer for solving these problems, but I should probably acknowledge them anyway. Sorry for the long ass post. I'm gonna go drink some lemonade and answer some asks in a bit.)

#not employee 427 #(please read.)

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cherryobx · 3 years ago

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𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 || 𝐑.𝐂 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

requested?: yes

summary: Rafe finds your diary and all the letters addressed to him.

warnings: language, invasion of privacy (reading someone's diary), tiny bit of fluff in the end

WC: 1.4k

-GIF CREDIT @starkey-babie -

Opening up to people is one of the scariest things in the world for a lot of people. The thought of someone knowing your deepest darkest thoughts makes your stomach turn.

It's not like you didn't want to open up to your boyfriend more. It was that you didn't know how to. How does one just talk about what they really feel? It seemed weird to just bring the topic up over dinner or when golfing. Was there a right time? And was the right time ever going to come?

At the beginning of your relationship with Rafe you started writing letters to him in your diary. You weren’t sure if you were ever going to show them to him but that was the only way you could say what you wanted to say without actually saying it out loud.

For months, as your relationship grew more and more, you kept writing letters addressed to him. You kept your diary so hidden that sometimes you even forgot where you had put it. You didn’t want to risk anyone ever seeing it. Those were your personal thoughts. The ones you’d never want anyone other than yourself to read.

One night, you and Rafe had planned to go out to a party, just to let loose for the night and have fun. You were in such a hurry doing your hair and make-up that you had forgotten your diary on your bedroom table. Literally an open book.

“Babe?” Rafe entered your room without knocking. He never did so. Why would he if there were high chances of seeing you naked or getting dressed.

“In the bathroom,” you yelled, trying not to mess your eyeliner up. You were so close to getting both of the wings to look even.

Usually he would hop onto your bed to wait for you but this time, seeing the open notebook on the table, he was intrigued to sit behind the table. He recognized your handwriting as his eyes scanned the pages in front of him.

“What the fuck?” he quietly mumbled as he started flipping through the pages, seeing his own name on top of many of them. He started reading the most recent one of them all.

Dear Rafe,

It’s our 6 months anniversary today. Wow it really has already been that long. But it’s kind of hard to believe so much time has passed because whenever I’m with you time just stops. It’s like we’re living in our own little bubble at our own pace. And I like that about us. But the thing is, I still don’t know how to really open up to you. I want to tell you how beautiful you look when you first wake up, messy hair and morning voice and all. I want to tell you that hearing your laugh makes me instantly happy. I want to tell you that when you look at me I go weak in the knees. I want to tell you that your smile is my favourite thing in the whole world. I want to tell you how much better you make my life, how I care about you more than anyone else. I want to tell you how happy you really make me. I want to tell you how much I really love you. I want to tell you so many things but it’s like my mind just goes blank whenever I try to do that. I feel like I should be able to do that. But why can’t I? It’s keeping me up at night. Maybe one day I’ll be able to tell you all of this. Hopefully before it’s too late. I love you, Rafe, much more than you’ll ever know.

Yours truly,

Y/N

“Do you really go weak in the knees when I look at you?” he asked, a small smirk on his lips.

Your eyes widened in horror. The eyeliner in your hands fell into the sink, drawing a few black lines onto the white ceramic.

Slowly, you walked out of the bathroom. Your heart was beating so fast it was about to give out. When he said those words, you knew exactly where he had gotten them from. Your mind was running a million miles an hour, all of the worst case scenarios popping up.

He sat on your chair, feet up on the table and your diary in his hands.

For a moment you were absolutely speechless, you didn’t know how to react. This is exactly what you had been trying to avoid all this time. And now it was all happening.

“What the fuck, Rafe?” your voice barely a whisper, tears already forming in your eyes.

Then you screamed. “What the fuck?”

He winced at the tone and loudness of your voice.

“Why would you do that, Rafe. That’s personal. You have no right to just read someone else’s diary. What the fuck is wrong with you?” The tears falling down your cheeks ruined your make-up completely but you didn’t care even a little bit in that moment.

He placed the notebook back on the table and stood up. He tried to hug you but you stepped back.

“Don’t fucking touch me right now!”

The severity of the situation had finally reached him. He had fucked up, majorly. He should’ve never even looked at what you wrote in that notebook.

“Y/N…”

“No, no, no! Shut up! Do you have any idea how wrong of you that was? That was an invasion of privacy. Those are the things that I never want anyone to see. And then you fucking do that shit?”

“But it was just sitting right there and I saw my name. I’m so sorry, Y/N. Please.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “That doesn’t fucking mean you can just read that! Oh my God.”

You felt like your legs were going to give out so you sat onto your bed and hid your face in your hands. He sat beside you but kept his distance. He might’ve acted like an asshole but he still wanted to respect your wishes. Even though he had just read your diary, which had definitely been off-limits.

You both sat there for a few minutes in silence before you spoke up.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“It’s okay, you had every right to.”

You scooted closer to him and wrapped your arms around his torso, hiding your face in his chest. Cautiously, he wrapped his arms around you as well.

“I’ve never known how to talk about what I feel or what I think. I don’t know, it’s just really hard for me, I guess. When I met you and we started dating, I started writing letters to you. It was the only way for me to get it all out of my system. I never meant to actually send them to you or show them to you.”

You took a break since your voice started quivering. You took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself down.

“And what you did was wrong. It was fucked up. But...the letters were addressed to you so I’m not going to hold it against you. But don’t you ever fucking touch my diary without my permission ever again or it’s gonna be last thing that you do.”

He chuckled lightly and placed a kiss on your forehead. “I promise.”

“Now, how about we stay here tonight and I’ll let you read a few of those letters?” you offered, pulling away just enough to look him in the eyes.

“Are you sure?” He placed his hands on your cheeks as he gently wiped away the tears with his thumbs.

“I mean you already read one so a couple more are not gonna hurt me. Plus, I think you deserve to know how I really feel about you since I haven’t been able to actually tell you.”

“Then okay, sure.”

“And, I promise I’ll try to start saying these things to you in person. It's probably gonna take time for me to completely open up to you like that but I’ll try to get there.”

“And I’ll be here for every step of the way.”

Outer Banks taglist: @taylathornton @jjmaybanksbaby @maybanksslut @dirtytissuebox

Rafe Cameron taglist: @teenwaywardasgardian @canibeoneofthepogues @vintageobx @nehireerdogan @samlovessylvie @noellesideas @tomhardybby @drewstarkeysbitchh @in-my-body-bag

(couldn't tag the crossed out ones for some reason)

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron obx #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe obx #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron outer banks #outer banks #obx s2

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golden-wingseos · 3 years ago

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from him, the sun - baizhu

featuring —

✧ baizhu x gn!reader

warnings ―

✧ written before baizhu's release (is he ever going to get released??)

notes ―

✧ e

synopsis ―

✧ for a seasoned adventurer like you, getting injured was a phenomenon all-too common. determined to escape from bubu pharmacy, it seems things didn't go as planned... because you were caught.

“Today, I will escape.” You thought with a determined expression, fists clenched as you peeked out the door of your confinement room.

Baizhu—the head of Bubu Pharmacy—was very used to your visits. So much so, that he had a day in the week reserved for you solely because you had managed to get injured so much.

Was it a skill? Definitely. For a high-caliber adventurer like you, getting injured so often was only a trademark of how cool you were.

Was it an opportunity to get to know the handsome-yet-mysterious owner of the Pharmacy? Yes. Though, you had made no advances.

But now! Now, you’ve had enough! Baizhu had told you to stay put in your room so you could ‘heal’ or whatever— but that’s lame!

Hearing no footsteps and seeing no people, you had concluded: Wow. They’re finally gone. Even Qiqi had remembered enough to not let you worsen your leg injury, so she was definitely off limits.

Taking a single step out into the lobby, you glanced around once more, the sharp smell of herbs stinging your nose and lungs as they seemed to pierce your dull senses.

“I’m free!” You exclaimed, speedwalking (so your leg wouldn’t act up) straight out of the pharmacy. You may not be from Mondstadt— but damn! Bless Barbatos! Let the Wind Lead!

“Is that so?”

You ignored that voice. Nope! You were most definitely free!

Of course, that was until a hand reached out— grabbing the back of your collar and refraining you from taking any more steps out and towards the light.

Holding you firmly like a dog by a collar, you didn’t bother to turn around to see who your captor was. Seriously, even though the man holding you like an animal was supposed to be ‘fragile’ and ‘frail’, there was absolutely nothing frail about him!

“Ah hah… ayeee…” Averting your eyes from his own golden ones, the kind smile on the male’s face indicated that he had already anticipated your sudden patriotic ‘escape’ before you had even thought of it.

Damn intelligent men.

“Is your leg feeling better?” Baizhu settled you lightly on the floor, side-eyeing you just in case you’d decide to make a break for it again.

“Yes, very much so. It’s so much better that I feel like I can go outside and ru—”

“Hm… it seems to still be swelling. Hold on for a moment, I’ll get you some ointment.” Not falling for your obvious lie, Baizhu began sorting through some bottles on the counter behind the reception desk, complicated names and texts scribbled across their lids.

“Here, hold still,” Gesturing for you to sit atop the desk, Baizhu began to roll the hem of your pants up, taking the ointment across his fingertips and smearing it on the swell of your shin.

“Oh, it feels better!” You exclaimed in awe, about to flail your leg around if it weren’t for the warm hand resting on your knee, signaling you to stop whatever dumb move you were about to do.

“Now, you should go back to your room. We wouldn’t want you getting more injured in futile attempts to run off into the sunset.” Smiling innocently, you swore there was a hint of cheekiness in that delicate face of his.

“Eh?” You gasped, stumbling once Baizhu ushered you back into the treatment room, your figure visibly deflating as you tried convincing the pharmacist otherwise.

“Please? Please? Can I just watch you play with your drugs or something? WHY? I don’t want to go back! It’s boring!” Whining like a toddler, Baizhu could merely sigh at your antics before abruptly stopping, pausing you alongside him.

“Okay. Just make sure not to strain yourself, alright?”

“HUH? Baizhu caring about me?! Since when?!”

“. . . I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

[❦]

It seems that fateful interaction was what led you to be sitting in the very corner of Baizhu’s herb room, watching him sort through different kinds of leaves as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

I think I’ll get intoxicated by just sitting in here, covering your nose in an attempt to shield yourself from the pungent smell of just vegetation and weird materials. It was no surprise that the ever-observant Baizhu noticed your change in posture.

“You don’t have to sit here and watch, go get some rest.” The male turned over to you, hands dusted with all shades of colors thanks to the items he was handling just earlier.

“No, it’s okay. What you’re doing looks interesting.” Overcoming the smell, you quickly stood up, shuffling over to the empty spot beside the pharmacist.

“Would you like to learn about the different kinds of remedial herbs?” He queried nonchalantly. Yet at that moment, you swore Baizhu was one of the prettiest— if not the prettiest thing you have ever seen.

His pale green hair reflected in the light like a mirror, rays of pinks and yellows appearing in his hair as if pixie dust had been sprinkled all over it. Then your eyes trailed down to his neck, which did not host the pearl white snake you had grown so accustomed to.

Strange, yet gorgeous. Baizhu was perhaps a specimen, an enigma in the galaxy that you have yet to figure out. Like Venus, all you could do was admire from afar, hoping that he’d notice you in the sea of millions.

And perhaps in this moment, he did. He gazed at you generously, fondly, even. Like a moonflower untouched by mankind, you quickly averted your eyes from that same generous gaze— worried that your heart may explode at this rate.

Maybe, Baizhu was like the sun. Untouchable and bright, a being you saw every day yet hardly knew much about you. And you— you were the sunflower. Prospering under his care and touch, this brief interaction of silent observation would certainly be one that’d remain timeless.

“... Sure.” Snapping out of your trance, you quickly turned away from him. Your ears felt hot, heart thumping in your chest so fast you were worried your rib cage couldn’t contain the organ anymore.

Feigning obliviousness to your dazed expression, Baizhu began picking up different types of herbs, listing their names so fluently you wondered if it was another language you were yet to learn.

Foreign names like chamomile and feverfew popped up, ginseng and ginger being familiar to your ears because Mr. Zhongli from the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor oftentimes made tea out of such herbs. Perhaps you should thank the amber-eyed man later for being so knowledgeable in teas.

“[Name]?” The pharmacist paused, using this brief moment to look at you, “are you okay? You don’t have to listen, you can even go walk around the harbor if you want.”

The idea was tempting, like a dream turning into a reality. Yet something was pulling you back, like the Earth and the Sun. Maybe, just maybe you were Icarus. Baizhu was so close yet so far, and you only wanted to inch higher and higher, burning those wings made of wax in the process.

No. A more ideal comparison would be of the rainbow bird— or was it? You couldn’t tell. Tempting like a golden apple during a race for love, tantalizing like wafting food in front of a starving man.

But today. Today, you will take your chance.

“It’s alright. I’d rather be here with you anyways,” your voice dipped into a whisper, like a river running dry or a bird’s call being silenced mid-scream.

Was this alright? Was it alright to backpedal on an opportunity you had yearned for for so long?

You swore you caught the faintest of red tipped onto Baizhu’s ears. Yes, he was definitely still the ever-enigmatic sun you had assumed of him originally,

But now— maybe you were just a little bit closer than before, though unlike Icarus— you had already fallen long before the sun could burn your wings.

#baizhu x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin scenarios #genshin oneshots #genshin headcanons #genshin impact oneshots #genshin impact scenarios #genshin baizhu #baizhu #baizhu genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons

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tinisprout · 4 years ago

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Not as a Friend

Pairing: Heeseung x gn!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word count: 2,485

Summary: The two of you have always been close to each other. Saying, I love you, as friends, since young. But your feelings are deeper than that of a friend. A confession pushes you to tell him how you really feel, even if it might ruin your friendship.

A/N: It's been a millennium since I've written. This is also my first time writing in First Person so this was a struggle. Still, I hope it's not too bad. *I wrote this with the thought of the Reader and Heeseung being high school seniors, already 18, but I never specified age or grade in the story, so I guess it doesn't really matter. Anyways, enjoy!

The walk home with Heeseung today feels unbearable, I know that he keeps glancing in my direction, I know he’s worried after seeing my face in class. That makes it hurt even more, he’s so kind and caring, what did I do to deserve a friend like him? We continue our walk back home in silence and I think about the past.

I like you and I love you are very straightforward words, but depending on the context of the relationship they can have a different meaning. I remember the first time I said I loved him, it was a very wholesome moment. We were only six, our mothers watched us play together in the park, “They haven’t known each other for very long but they get along so well,” my mother said gleefully.

“Yes, they must really like each other,” Heeseung’s mother replied. I lifted my head to look at Heeseung, our eyes met and we smiled at each other. Hearing their conversation, I turned to them ready to tell the world about my friend.

“I love Heeseung, he is my best friend!” I grabbed his hands, they were just as small as mine. Heeseung leaned into me, flashing a dazzling smile to our parents.

“I love y/n too.” It was so innocent. For a long time after that, we never had a problem saying, I love you, to each other. It was just a casual statement between friends. In instances when saying goodbye to each other or times when we would annoy each other, one of us would say, ‘you still love me, don’t you?’ and the other would reply ‘...I still love you.’

It changed when we were older and our peers would make fun of us for saying it so casually. I wasn’t bothered by the teasing, but Heeseung would always try to defend the innocence of our relationship, “Guys, we don’t like each other. We're just friends, this is just how we have always been with each other.” I had already started to develop feelings for him, maybe I was feeling guilty because when I would say, I love you, it wasn’t so much in a platonic way anymore. So one day I drew a line.

“Heeseung, you know I love you, right?” We sat in his living room, relaxing after we came back from school.

“What’s wrong?” I guess my tone didn’t sound too happy, he looked concerned as he looked at me in silence waiting for my answer.

“I think we should stop saying, I love you, to each other...not just in front of our classmates, but probably when we’re alone too.” He sat up straight quickly, pushing his hair back.

“What, why? Is it because of all the teasing?” I couldn’t meet his eyes and tell him the real reason.

“Not really, I’ve just been thinking. We aren’t in love with each other or anything, we’re just friends. When you do end up dating someone, I don’t want to be the problem in your relationship. If I was in their shoes, I think I would be jealous. So...yeah.” I looked back up at him, he looked at me too, seeming to be thinking and searching for something. After the long pause, he slumps back a little and leans his head back, letting out a big sigh.

“If that’s how you feel then we can do that.”

“Hey come on, it’s not like I suddenly stopped caring about you.”

“Ha, yeah.” He gave a small smirk. We continued our evening together with a somewhat awkward atmosphere.

Not long later, I regretted what I said that day. Most people were finished with class cleaning, same for me. I was packing my things, getting ready to leave school with Heeseung like we do every day. Weirdly enough Heeseung usually finishes before me and comes to me first, but he wasn’t here yet. I walk to his classroom after I'm done getting ready, and yet still, I didn’t see him. I asked some of his classmates, “Hey, do you know where Heeseung is?”

“Uh, he left with a girl a little while ago, but he didn’t take his stuff,” one of his classmates answered, pointing to his bag half-packed on his desk, he didn’t take his phone either. Many thoughts flew through my head, but the loudest one was, ‘He’s getting confessed to.’ I pursed my lips and then said my thanks to his classmates and left back to my classroom. I wanted to take his bag, pack it for him, but the thought of finding out that he said yes, I don’t think I could look at him, it would hurt too much.

I sat down on my seat in the now-empty class, laying my head down and covering my head with my arms. ‘A confession doesn’t take long, I’ll wait for 10 minutes max. If he doesn’t come to get me then I’ll just leave.’ I gripped onto my forearms, ‘I should be happy for him if he says yes to her.’ I started to anxiously bounce my leg, ‘Please, come back soon.’ It felt like an eternity left alone with my thoughts. The sounds outside the classroom slowly softened as students continued to leave. Within the muted sounds came pounding footsteps and then the sound of the door slamming open. Startled, my head shoots up from the desk and I look to the door. There he was, bag slung on one shoulder, his breathing irregular from running, a nervous smile on his face as he let out a just as nervous chuckle.

“Thank goodness you're still here, I wasn’t sure if you left without me. And sorry, I had to do something really quick.” His face fell when he saw my face go from shocked to one that was holding back tears, emotional upheaval nearby. “What’s wrong? What happened?” his eyes were filled with concern as he quickly went up to me kneeling in front of my seat. His head now lower than mine, I looked down at him.

“Heeseung,” my voice had a slight tremble. “I- can we go to your place first...I’ll be ready to tell you then.”

“Of course,” he wrapped his arms around my body, it was such a natural gesture. “It’s gonna be okay.” I hoped it was going to be okay and that he wouldn't leave me after this.

"I-I would never leave without you," even though I said only 10 minutes, I would have waited till the sunset, till there was no more hope. With those last words I pull away from him and we walk out of the classroom without another word and made the seemingly long walk home. Finally, at his home, his parents are still at work it seems so we head straight upstairs. He gets into his normal spot on his bed but instead of leaning against the wall, he sits forward, looking at me. My normal spot would be next to him but I just stood in front of his bed. I don't want to make him uncomfortable after what I'm about to tell him.

"Before I say anything else, I just want to confirm something, if you are comfortable with sharing. What did you have to do during cleaning time?" Heeseung processed for a bit and then his eyebrows shot up in realization.

"Oh uh…" he hesitates.

"It's fine if you don't want to share." ‘I'm still gonna say what I have to say regardless of the answer, I thought to myself.’

"No, no, it's just a little weird. I…got confessed to," silence.

"...Ah, I thought that was the case."

"I rejected them!” he retorted. “...sorry, I'm not mad at you, I just-” he sighed while putting his head in his hands. “I don’t want to make this about me, but I need to say something to you too,” he looks back up at me. I was startled but I knew he wasn’t angry at me, but he was obviously in distress.

“It’s okay, Heeseung. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. I just hope I don’t ruin the mood after this. Okay, okay, ...sorry, just a little bit longer,” I say, letting out nervous laughter. I start to pace around his room, nerves getting the best of me. I feel my heart pick up speed and I try to keep my breathing under control, clenching and unclenching my fists. I didn’t realize he got up from the bed till I felt his hand squeeze mine. I look at him, freezing up in his gaze. My thoughts are telling me to run away but the heat from his hand was suffocating against my burning one, and yet I didn't want to let go, the feeling told me to stay.

"Hey, you know. You know... I'll love you no matter what. It's okay." Those words that I want so dearly to be true made my heart stop and my body tremble with trepidation. More than anything I didn't want to lose Heeseung, but I care about him, so I don't want to lie and not tell him how I really feel.

"I love you so much. I- I don't know what to do with myself…" My hand squeezes his back, making his hand quiver along with mine. There was heat building up behind my eyes, vision becoming a little blurry.

"It’s okay, breathe. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“No, you don’t get it,” the tears that had been brimming around my eyes finally fell. “I love you and I always will but for a long time now it’s been more than that. I like-like you, I- I’m in love with you! I don’t want to be just your friend anymore. The thought of you being with someone else hurts...so much, but I’ve been too scared to say anything because I don’t want to lose you.” The words became more unsteady, I tried to stop myself from losing complete control of my emotions. I slowly started to sink to the floor and Heeseung followed me down till we popped to the ground in the middle of his room. While stared into each other’s eyes the entire time, I could see Heeseung’s face change, expressing multiple different emotions, none of them seem good.

“...I’m sorry, I d- I didn’t know. I’m sorry, y/n.” Heeseung pursed his lips, he looked like he was about to cry with me. He lets go of my hand and wraps his arms around my body squeezing me tight, repeating, I’m sorry. Are we both trembling now? It’s hard to tell if it’s just me but I wrap my arms around him too and let it all go, my whimpers and sniffles became full-blown sobs. I don’t know how long we cried for, but eventually, our cries came to a hush. It seems like we cried for a long time together and I feel exhausted.

“Ugh, I kinda feel like I have to throw up.” As an attempt to lighten the mood I joke about the very real condition of my stomach, while I pull away from him. Heeseung sniffles and chuckles.

“Yeah, same here,” we look each other in the eyes again. His hands came up and touched my face wiping away the dampness from my cheeks. Even after gently wiping he still kept his hands there. “I’m sorry, that I was a coward. If I just told you how I felt sooner, much sooner, you wouldn’t have to suffer like that. I’m in love with you too…” He pauses to see my reaction as I process this new information. “Pfft, I thought you would have been happy, why are you crying again?” he teases as he rubs at my face again. Even in a moment like this, we can't stop our bantering.

“Shut up, these are tears of happiness,” I hadn’t even realized more tears fell out, I thought I was all cried out. “We are both cowards though. It feels kinda silly now, we’ve cried this much just to say, I love you. When did it all become so complicated?” I sighed, tilting my head a little.

“I don’t know exactly when I fell for you, but when I realized, I knew I wanted you by my side, always, not like before, not as just friends. But I was afraid of ruining our relationship if you didn’t feel the same way.” I grab his shoulders pushing him down to the ground, straddling his body.

We’re so lame, worrying about the same thing, and in the end, we have nothing to worry about, because we both like each other!” Heeseung raises an eyebrow.

“Correction, love each other.” I purse my lips as I look down on him.

“Yeah, I like you, I love you, I’m in love with you! Happy now?

“Yup,” He gave a sly smirk.

“...Damn, I really want to kiss you.”

“What’s stopping you?” ‘Fair enough,’ I thought as I leaned down, closing my eyes, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. I could feel his lips form a smile against mine which made me smile too. I pulled away laughing, the happiness I’m feeling right now seems unreal, but looking at his smile, the reddish color that dusted his cheeks and ears told me just how real it was.

“That was nice,” I say as I remove myself from the top of his body and lay beside him.

“Much better than our first kiss. This time I didn’t have to hide how much I like kissing you.” He turns his body to face mine, propping his head with his hand. My eyes widened at this revelation.

“Wait, you liked me since then?”

“Definitely before then, but yes.”

“Ahh, why were we both so oblivious?!” I bring my hands up to cover my face.

“Hey, at least we know now. I don’t plan on letting you go.”

“Oh, dearest boyfriend of mine, who said I was going anywhere without you?” Heeseung grins from ear to ear.

“I like the sound of that.”

“I’m sure all our classmates and friends will love to tease us about this when they find out. Heeseung cringes at that statement, not exactly something to look forward to.

Sure enough, when we came to school the next day we decided we were not going to try and hide anything, and walked to school holding hands, fingers intertwined. The hollers from our friends and classmates made us embarrassed, but explanations would come later. Though what left everyone flabbergasted, myself included, is when we had to part ways, going into our classrooms, Heeseung bent down and tilted my head up towards his and kissed me. It was short and he left me in the hall dumbstruck as he scurried to class. The shouts of everyone watching were lost to my ears. I was so gonna get him later for this.

#heeseung #lee heeseung #heeseung x reader #enhypen #enhypen heeseung #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #heeseung fluff #heeseung angst #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x gender neutral reader #enhypen x you #heeseung enhypen #my writing #Not as a Friend

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mistresseast · 4 years ago

Text

Here is my shuake temporary amnesia threadfic I posted to Twitter earlier! Presented to you in screenshots for the full cinematic experience of being spammed with gross fluff on your timeline. The complete text is under the cut in case you don’t want to or can’t wade through all of those images ❤️

The procedure was really simple. Akira’s appendix hadn’t burst or anything, it was just inflamed and the doctor decided to have it removed as a precaution. Nothing to get worked up about, Goro kept telling himself. His husband would be in and out within a day, no hospital stay required.

Akira was all jokes before the surgery, teasing Goro about putting on a nurse’s outfit to take care of him at home, and Goro just said something threatening about suppositories, which earned a cheeky laugh.

It didn’t take long, and the other thieves showed up right as Akira was getting out. He was pretty woozy as the anesthesia wore off, but Goro was just relieved everything had gone perfectly, according to the surgeon.

When Goro comes back, eyes red-rimmed but dry, the thieves are visibly struggling to hold it together. Ryuji is facing the corner, shoulders shaking. Ann and Futaba are clinging to each and Haru has her hand over her mouth. Makoto is holding her head like she has a headache.

Except when Akira is coherent again, he’s...weird. He keeps avoiding Goro’s eyes and he barely responds to the others when they speak to him. Goro tries to take his hand, and he locks up, going pale. The others just watch, looking awkward, and Goro excuses himself, suddenly feeling ill.

Akira is sitting up in bed, beaming.

“What happened?” Goro asks.

Sumi smiles innocently. “Nothing.”

Goro eyes them all with suspicion. “The neurologist will be here soon to clear him for discharge.”

“Great,” Ann squeaks.

“Somehow, I do not think--” Yusuke starts before two of the others shush him.

Well, that’s weird, but when are the thieves not weird? Goro is more interested in Akira, who’s staring at him with a crooked grin.

“Feeling better?” Goro asks, retaking his seat.

“I am now that you’re here,” Akira says, flashing him a wink.

Goro squints at him. “Are you sure? You were pretty out of it earlier. I can go get a doctor—”

“That was nothing,” Akira insists. “I was just surprised to wake up to someone so pretty waiting at my bedside.”

“Oh is that what it was.” Rolling his eyes, Goro sits forward to guide Akira back down against the pillows. “You shouldn’t be sitting up. You’ll pop your stitches.”

“Yes, sir.” Akira lies back obediently and catches Goro’s hand when he tries to pull away. “I can think of some more fun ways to pop them, anyway. Are you free later?”

Goro stares at him while Futaba lets out a hysterical giggle and Makoto mumbles something.

“You think you’re so cute,” Goro says eventually. “The doctor said to hold off on that for at least a week.”

"Oh, right." Akira hitches up his coy smile. "What's your schedule like in a week, then?"

Cheeks warm, Goro cuts his eyes to the others, who are all studiously avoiding looking at the bed. "What's gotten into you?" he scolds. Akira is never this…overt in public.

Akira's smile droops. "I...sorry, I—" He flicks a glance at the others as well, and Goro catches Ann giving an encouraging little hand wave.

"What?" Goro directs at her. "Is something wrong?"

She shakes her head quickly, eyes wide and glittering.

"Everything's fine," Akira insists. "I was just...uh, wondering if, after I'm recovered, you'd like to grab some coffee or something?"

Goro furrows his brows at him. "You realize that's a ridiculous question, right? What are you playing at?"

"But—you—" Frowning, Akira darts a look down at the ring encircling Goro's fourth finger, then over at the rest of his friends. "You guys—"

Futaba bursts out laughing and Ryuji nearly keels over from the force of his own elated wheezing. Makoto pinches the bridge of her nose.

"Sorry," Akira mumbles, releasing Goro's hand, cheeks red. "I guess they thought it'd be funny to play a trick on a sick person."

"A trick?" Goro repeats blankly.

"Of course you're already taken, someone as hot as you—" Akira scrubs a hand through his hair. "I saw your ring but they said it wasn't—you weren't—"

Realization clicks in Goro's head and he angles a glare at the others, which apparently breaks the final seal because the remaining thieves, minus Makoto, dissolve into helpless giggling.

"I'm really sorry," Akira continues, oblivious. "If I knew, I wouldn't have hit on you, but you're just so...and when I woke up and saw you being so nice to me, I thought, you know—" he grimaces.

"Oh my god." Goro rubs his temples.

"When you left, I asked them if you were single and they said yes, but they were just taking me for a ride." Akira scowls at the others. "Not cool, guys."

Futaba snorts. She has her phone out and pointed at them but Goro can't worry about that at the moment. "Akira, how much do you remember right now?"

Akira shrugs. "Everything's pretty hazy. I figured you all had to be my friends since you don't look like family and you were all really happy when I woke up, but I can't remember the specifics. That happens with anesthesia sometimes, right?"

"Yes, it—" Goro breaks off on a sigh.

"Look, I'm really sorry again," Akira says earnestly, "—and I hope this doesn't make things awkward with us, but I just wanna say that I hope whoever you're with knows how lucky they are."

"Oh, they do," Ryuji pipes up. "They never shut up about it!"

The others all snicker and Goro wishes he was close enough to elbow Ryuji in the gut.

"Good." Akira smiles sadly, putting Goro in mind of a kitten left in the rain. "Who is it, anyway? Do I know them?"

Goro makes a strained noise in the back of his throat. "Akira, it's you."

Akira blinks. "What?"

Digging in his pocket, Goro produces a simple silver band and grabs Akira's hand. "You're the person I'm with, we're married—" he slides the ring into Akira's unresisting finger. "And your friends are all assholes."

Akira stares slack-jawed at his ring. "Wait, really?" He glances between Goro and the others. "Really?"

Goro nods with another sigh while the others struggle to compose themselves.

"Sorry," Ann says, at least looking a little contrite. "When we realized he didn't remember you, we just couldn't resist."

"We owe you," Sumi titters. "Please don't be mad! We'll make it up to you!"

"You absolutely will," Goro grumbles, already planning just how he's going to make the thieves pay for this.

"Hang on—" Akira snags Goro's hand again, eyes shining. "We're really married?"

"Yes," Goro answers patiently. "For nearly two years."

"Holy shit," Akira marvels. "How did I manage that?"

"Here we go," Futaba groans.

Goro shoots her a warning look before reaching over and smoothing Akira's fringe off his forehead. "Hopefully you'll remember that on your own soon." He doesn't really want to recount the whole operatic series of events.

Akira leans shamelessly into the touch, a dopey smile growing on his face.

The neurologist assures them that Akira's brain is fine and that this kind of disorientation is common after general anesthesia. Nevertheless, he stays in the hospital until his memories start returning.

"Look at it this way," Ann suggests while Akira hides his face in embarrassment and Goro signs his discharge papers. "Now you both know that Akira's not just into you because you tried to kill him."

Goro still isn't pleased with the thieves, but he's starting to see the humor in the situation. "That's definitely a load off my mind. Though now I'll have to rethink our anniversary plans."

Akira whines something that sounds like "please stop"

"I did quite enjoy hearing about how hot I am, though."

Akira lowers his hands, pouting petulantly. "I tell you that all the time."

"You should remind me more often."

"Oh?" Some familiar impishness sparks in Akira's gaze. "So you like when I praise you?"

"Your memories must still be hazy because that's not a secret."

"Please don't do this," Makoto begs.

Laughing, Akira ignores her and makes grabby hands at Goro. Smirking, Goro sets his clipboard aside and leans forward, allowing Akira to pull him into a kiss.

It's just as sweet as always.

#shuake #akeshu #shuake fic #my fic #isablogging

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