#in both academics but more importantly personal

[hizerain]

Hey, Henry. How have you been? Hope you're healthy and well. I'm an anon who often dropped by to check in (I'd say.. spanning over years now) on you but uh it's been a while now.. I've been going through some stuff lately, which kinda had me thinking about you and I hope things are much better at your end. Well, I hope you're doing well, my friend. Have a nice day/night, Henry :)

Dear Anon,

I'm currently doing rather well. I started reading The Brothers Karamazov today, it's been delightful so far and I cannot wait to see where it goes. Beside that, this is the first proper holiday I've had in over a year so I'm taking things easy, no obligations outside of those I made to myself.

I hope the tides will turn for you. Life can be quite harrowing at times, and I know in such moments that platitudes feel like little more than empty words but I do believe things will always turn out right, it's just a shame we can never say how long that will take or what it will look like but when it happens, I'm sure you'll know. Please take care.

Sincerely,

Henry.

[soon-palestine]

In a statement that was shared with The Nation, a group of 25 HLR editors expressed their concerns about the decision. “At a time when the Law Review was facing a public intimidation and harassment campaign, the journal’s leadership intervened to stop publication,” they wrote. “The body of editors—none of whom are Palestinian—voted to sustain that decision. We are unaware of any other solicited piece that has been revoked by the Law Review in this way. “ When asked for comment, the leadership of the Harvard Law Review referred The Nation to a message posted on the journal’s website. “Like every academic journal, the Harvard Law Review has rigorous editorial processes governing how it solicits, evaluates, and determines when and whether to publish a piece…” the note began. ”Last week, the full body met and deliberated over whether to publish a particular Blog piece that had been solicited by two editors. A substantial majority voted not to proceed with publication.” Today, The Nation is sharing the piece that the Harvard Law Review refused to run. Some may claim that the invocation of genocide, especially in Gaza, is fraught. But does one have to wait for a genocide to be successfully completed to name it? This logic contributes to the politics of denial. When it comes to Gaza, there is a sense of moral hypocrisy that undergirds Western epistemological approaches, one which mutes the ability to name the violence inflicted upon Palestinians. But naming injustice is crucial to claiming justice. If the international community takes its crimes seriously, then the discussion about the unfolding genocide in Gaza is not a matter of mere semantics. The UN Genocide Convention defines the crime of genocide as certain acts “committed with the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such.” These acts include “killing members of a protected group” or “causing serious bodily or mental harm” or “deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part.” Numerous statements made by top Israeli politicians affirm their intentions. There is a forming consensus among leading scholars in the field of genocide studies that “these statements could easily be construed as indicating a genocidal intent,” as Omer Bartov, an authority in the field, writes. More importantly, genocide is the material reality of Palestinians in Gaza: an entrapped, displaced, starved, water-deprived population of 2.3 million facing massive bombardments and a carnage in one of the most densely populated areas in the world. Over 11,000 people have already been killed. That is one person out of every 200 people in Gaza. Tens of thousands are injured, and over 45% of homes in Gaza have been destroyed. The United Nations Secretary General said that Gaza is becoming a “graveyard for children,” but a cessation of the carnage—a ceasefire—remains elusive. Israel continues to blatantly violate international law: dropping white phosphorus from the sky, dispersing death in all directions, shedding blood, shelling neighborhoods, striking schools, hospitals, and universities, bombing churches and mosques, wiping out families, and ethnically cleansing an entire region in both callous and systemic manner. What do you call this? The Center for Constitutional Rights issued a thorough, 44-page, factual and legal analysis, asserting that “there is a plausible and credible case that Israel is committing genocide against the Palestinian population in Gaza.” Raz Segal, a historian of the Holocaust and genocide studies, calls the situation in Gaza “a textbook case of Genocide unfolding in front of our eyes.”

[wakkass]

💜Teenage Sofia💜

On the right is some hairstyle searches

AU itself

Sofia sleeps through her first lessons and cannot concentrate on her homework, which is why she makes mistakes.

For some reason, Sofia’s energy is becoming less and less; she cannot easily join the busy rhythm of life as in childhood.

She considered it an uneven start to the school year, and therefore didn't tell anyone about anything.

Despite this, Sofia tries very hard to work, but the problem is that she never begins to accomplish anything.

The amulet began to behave strangely: it loses color and turns gray. And most importantly, it doesn't work as it should, sometimes completely switching off and depriving Sofia of her powers.

This causes problems with her missions: she cannot respond to calls for help in time and cannot talk to her friends. It also reminds her of the helplessness she felt when she was stuck inside the amulet.

Sofia is caught between her old responsibilities and her new academic demands, causing her to fail at both.

This begins to put pressure on her, and as a result, Sofia's emotions become uncontrollable, for example, she may suddenly cry or get angry.

It got to the point where Sofia yelled at Miranda and ran away in a fit of rage, not understanding why she was even angry.

At first, Sofia believes that the amulet is to blame for her strange condition. Something happened to it and it needs to be fixed. This is a reason to turn to Cedric for help.

However, when examining the amulet, it turns out that it doesn't affect Sofia, but vice versa. That is, the amulet reacts to her burnout due to permanent stress.

Sofia doesn't know the nature of her condition and how to fix it. If this is a curse, then it must be removed, and if it's a disease, then it must be cured, and who else but the royal sorcerer will help with this.

The more Sofia describes the symptoms, the more Cedric realizes that this is not an infection or a curse, but something that he himself once went through - depression.

To avoid this, Cedric does what Sofia once did for him: shows care and attention.

He tries to repeat the same actions that Sofia did for him many years ago, because this is the only way to deal with depression that he knows.

This doesn't always help, since she could suddenly cry, and he didn't know what to do about it. But Sofia felt better from the very fact of understanding and caring for her. What's important is that she was able to let her feelings out.

Sofia asked Cedric for medicine and he took her to the throne room where her parents were sitting. A friend nearby can help in difficult times, but there is nothing more healing than family support.

Sofia was scared to talk to her mother, because they parted on an unpleasant note. Sofia was afraid of making this worse, because she reacted extremely unpredictably to things.

I see their dialogue as somewhat awkward at first, which is why Sofia has a lump in her throat. But Miranda is not angry with her, although it's difficult for her to ask about what is happening. I think this will put pressure on Sofia and she will utter her words of apology quickly and incoherently.

It was amazing how much easier it became for Sofia when she didn't face her mother's anger, but her mother's support. What's happening to Sofia is complicated, but she's still loved and understood. No one will ever leave her alone, no matter how much she changes.

The amulet remains gray until Sofia deals with the amount of work she has to do, causing her to burn out.

In the future, Amber helps Sofia with her schedule and organization of things during the day.

Appearance info

Hairstyle:

I knew that Sofia's hair texture needed to be soft and light, so I was looking for a simple and full hairstyle. I chose between a ponytail and a half-ponytail, and in the end I settled on the hairstyle that I could feel best.

I like how in animation the movement of the tail reflects the personality and mood of the character, this is ideal for a pubescent AU, where emotions and feelings burst out.

Meg and Thumbelina are not only a great visual reference for hair movement, but also reflect facets of personality that Sofia might have at her age. And the hair in a high ponytail emphasizes this perfectly.

Cloth:

Amber and Sofia's costumes are similar because they wear school uniforms. They study together in a specialized educational institution, so I think there is a certain dress code there. It's different from the public school setting that was in the original series, and I wanted to highlight that visually.

At the same time, the palette is different for everyone and reflects the individuality of each student.

I took inspiration from Pinterest where I was looking for simple yet elegant clothes. Asian uniforms have the most variety in silhouettes, so I mainly focused on them.

A small example of the cut I relied on

< Previous post

[polarisjisung]

LOVE ON THE COURT | 29 NOT AGAIN

SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier

WARNINGS | sexual innuendos, swearing, mentions + pretty detailed description of a panic attack, lwk abandonment issues

NOTES | the girls are fighting... you didn't think I'd let them make up this fast did you?? a much shorter chapter today I'm sorry 😓

15:27pm , after the game

Y/n knew ningning inside out, they'd been friends for their whole life, best friends for a number of years, they'd spent longer together than apart.

Y/n and ningning were practically sisters. They'd fought over stupid things like if apple juice was better than orange juice, they'd stolen each others clothes, done each others nails as post breakup therapy— they'd experienced love and loss, and they'd always experienced it together.

It was and always had been them against the world.

Personal problems had always existed, but they'd face them head on and, most importantly, together.

So y/n knew what ningning was feeling, maybe not exactly, but she certainly knew why ningning felt the way she did.

And sure, Ningning's words had hurt y/n too, but that was the thing, they'd said the best and worst things to one another.

Being so close to someone can be a double-edged sword. Knowing their triggers and insecurities so well that in the heat of the moment, it’s almost too easy to throw those daggers. The intimacy shared can turn into a weapon of knowing exactly what to say to hit them where it hurts. In those moments, it’s like being caught in a toxic cycle, where love and pain intertwine.

Regret sets in as soon as the words leave the mouth, but the damage is done, leaving both people feeling raw and vulnerable. It's a harsh reminder that knowing someone deeply can sometimes mean knowing how to wound them just as easily. So y/n knew that Ningning was showing nothing but her concern.

But equally, she understood she deserved somewhat of an apology as well, even if Ningning's words had come from a good place, they'd hurt, and perhaps they hurt even more so coming from her.

It seemed a simple explanation why this argument of theirs had rested at the forefront of her mind for so long too, because Ningning was the only person in her life who Y/n couldn't imagine losing. And after everything that she'd been through, after the people she'd lost, and the relationships she'd seen go with them, she knew she wouldn't let herself be to blame. She wouldn't let herself lose a friend, least of all Ningning, just because she didn't communicate.

Or at least that was her plan, as she made her way down the hallway of the hotel, her hair still dripping from the shower she'd just taken, gripping way too many snacks for the two of them to share. Minjun followed after her, still gushing about having seen his older sister play for the first time, begging her to teach him how to dribble the ball like her, a grin plastered across his face. It was endearing, really.

And Y/n swore she only turned to smile at him for a second, but in the next, she felt her heart drop and her blood run cold. It felt like the ground shifted beneath her feet, and suddenly, she was trapped in a whirlwind of way too many thoughts, coming way too fast.

There, stood across the hallway, was a man she had made many desperate attempts to forget. To no avail, of course.

She blinked, rubbing her fists against her eyes hurriedly, as if he was nothing but a figment of her imagination, that when she looked up again he'd disappear and this would be nothing but a bad dream. But there he was, struggling to open the door to his room, angrily staring down at the key card with furrowed brows.

He seemed older. His hairs greying and wrinkles setting in across the feafures she recognised so well, his smile lines deeper than the last time she'd seen him.

The last time she'd seen him.

Her breaths quickened at the sight of him, becoming deeper yet each inhale felt shallower than the last, and her chest tightened like a vice. This wasn't happening, it couldn't, not here, not now.

She could hear the muffled voice beside her asking why they'd stopped walking, she could feel minjun's grip tighten around her, she could see the way the man turned his head at the realisation he was no longer alone in the haway, but it all felt distant, like she was underwater.  Unsure how to answer, she stood silently, gaze locked on the man, blinking rapidly, questioning if he was really, truly stood in front of her at all. As soon as he locked eyes with her, she felt the bile rush up her throat and a distant ringing in her ears, her hands beginning to shake against the smaller ones that held hers. Y/n felt like she was drowning. But she knew she couldn't. It was a luxury she couldn't afford, and the soft skin brushing against her hand was a reminder of that.

Panic surged through her, and y/n fought the urge to break down, feeling the walls closing in on her. The bright lights overhead felt too harsh, illuminating the doubts swirling in her head, making it hard to focus. Calm down. She thought, but she couldn't. She couldn't think she couldn't move, and worst of all, she couldn't calm down. She convinced herself this was nothing, voiced out lies in her mind that echoed with uncertainty. Breathe, she thought. But she couldn't. It was as if every unresolved feeling crashed over her like a tidal wave, leaving her gasping for air and desperate for an escape. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ground herself, but the memories flooded back faster, unrelenting and unforgiving.

Y/n found herself tugging harshly against the smaller wrist that was still loosely resting in her grip, making a sharp 180 and jetting off down the hallway, with shaky steps and ragged breaths.

She had to go, she had to leave, she had to do it now. Her phone vibrated in her hands only seconds later, a painfully familiar contact flashing across the screen, and all y/n could do was throw the device into the bottom of her bag, stuffing her belongings in on top, making no effort to answer the questions coming from the confused young boy who watched her. The blood rushed to her head so quickly, too quickly, in fact, and she swore the room in front of her begun to spin.

Her dad hadn't called her in years, not a single message, not a single word, so why now was he calling? Why was he reaching out now? Just because he'd seen her? Did some sort of shitty parental guilt kick in at the sight of his now grown children? Did he feel inadequate, maybe even jealous that they were doing just fine without him? Y/n didn't know, and she didn't care, but seeing him was still enough for her to take an unwanted trip down memory lane, reliving every moment since he'd left. Her chest tightened, the lump in her throat growing to the point that she couldn't breathe no matter how hard she tried. Still, she kept going, scanning the room to make sure she hadn't left anything behind.

Minjun had never seen his sister like this, so close to breaking down, and y/n didn't plan on letting that change today, sucking in deep breaths and wiping her teary eyes as she pulled his jacket around him. It was getting cold outside now, and she wouldn't let one careless mistake from her because of something so trivial, leading to him becoming sick.

Y/n could barely function, struggling to pull the zipper loop up and through the jacket, still she kept going. Her body ran on autopilot, muscle memory taking full control as she silently pulled the bags through the door and held a hand out for minjun to follow. Too occupied in her own thoughts she rushed out of the hotel with urgency, taking long strides towards the cabs that waited outside, only realising she was moving way too fast for Minjun to keep up when his small rushed breaths filled the air. She needed to calm down, she wasn't alone and she had to act like it. Minjun was her responsibility, and she needed to take care of him.

She muttered out an apology, quick, sincere, but short and found herself falling back into the  cycle of her own thoughts again. Comfort was a thought far away, but the surety of heading home, caused the racing of her heart to ease just slightly, a dull ache developing in her arm now that she'd finally set down all her bags inside the cab, a cramp settling in.

In that moment, y/n felt the overwhelming feeling of solitude press down in her, honing in from all sides, and the ache of abandonment crept into each corner of her heart. The pain was bitter and fuck, it ran deep.

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[inbarfink]

It's funny, people pretty immediately clocked that despite being at least 29, Fionna Campbell had some pretty childish tendencies.

But the finale really drove home that Simon Petrikov, middle-aged academic and local Dad, also had some real immature elements to his personality that he needed to tackle. I mean, they literally just put his mind into the body of a little cat child and noted both how much, from Beth's outsider's perspective, he changed and also how much he did not change.

And Simon tends to be paired up with people who are younger than him (Marcy), or much more brash and impulsive than he is (Betty) or both (Finn and Fionna)

Now he's suddenly paired up with the calm, mature and nurturing Beth - who still kinda treats him like her adorable little kid buddy Shermy. And while maybe everyone will look a bit childish and overly-emotional compared to her, Simon is really not doing himself any favors when it came to convincing her that he is actually an Adult Man.

Most importantly, it highlights how his immaturity can come across in his understanding of love and relationships.

Simon spends so much time being a Dad and generally trying to emotionally support and comfort younger people around him, but this time he literally just needed someone more mature to sit him down and explain him some stuff about How Relationships Work.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 15

The Buddy System

Welcome back to Fantasy High where the Bad Kids are still fighting for their lives and, more importantly, their grades. 

After a sterling start to their Last Stand exam, they still have a lot more test to get through before they’re academically out of the woods and they need a perfect score on the written portion to pass which is incredibly harsh but that’s Aguefort for you!

This is a very long episode where everyone gets to be so cool. Truly, you can see how competent all of the players and the characters have become as they carve a bloody path through wave after wave of enemies. 

As usual, it doesn’t really make sense for me to do a blow for blow recap of this fight but it’s absolutely worth watching. It’s an absolute delight from Siobhan and Emily irl making up a limerick in tandem to pass the Performance section of The Last Stand to Gorgug rolling truly more Nat 20s than I’ve ever seen in my life and almost solo-ing a *Purple Worm*. There’s not really any commentary that I can add to improve on just how amazingly they do in the episode. They’re forced to use the auto-pass stamp twice but only on the two most unreasonable things Brennan asked them to do–write a 300 word essay longhand in five minutes and do a (gag) math word problem. With those two stamped, they get 100% on their written exam. They even get some extra credit (partially due to Siobhan’s IRL LOTR geekery). 

Not only that, but Gavin (the proctor) only gets hit (I think) once and never actually goes down! None of the Bad Kids do. Hell, Adaine–their squishiest member–basically just sits at her desk the whole fight answering questions and slinging spells and she’s fine! Happy ending, A+s all around, roll credits, right?

No, of course not. Nothing is that simple–not that this was simple. They can’t just be the first party to ever pass The Last Stand without dying and have it be done. 

During the fight, everyone–but especially Kristen–has been suspicious of Buddy. She does an Insight check and sees that he seems on the level but that’s not enough to quell her suspicion. Near the end of the fight, she eats the Vulture King eyeball (granting her a minute of Truesight) with the intent of seeing who Buddy really is–a reasonable instinct considering Ruben was in disguise at the festival. 

She sees that Buddy is Buddy. She *also* sees Kipperlilly Copperkettle invisibly aiming a crossbow at Gavin. KP clocks Kristen clocking her, smiles, and lowers the crossbow, instead choosing to SLIT BUDDY’S THROAT. Buddy falls to the ground, absolutely DEAD. Not making saves. FULLY DEAD. A blue scaly hand touches her and they both vanish–Kristen can tell that the spell was Plane Shift (which is necessary for getting in and out of this testing pocket dimension). She frantically looks for a diamond to cast Revivify but her pockets have been picked and Buddy’s Revivify diamonds are gone as well. 

They finish the fight victoriously but Buddy’s death casts a pallor on everything. This was supposed to be a fight to the death but Buddy was the one person whose death wasn’t figured into the bloodbath. Gavin tells them that they pass the rest of the year with A+s but is shaken and thrown off kilter by the seemingly random murder. Kristen tells him what she saw and Gavin says that he was observing so he can vouch for the fact that none of them had anything to do with the murder but this is a crime scene and they have to call the Fantasy FBI. The Bad Kids are all super worried about Gavin’s safety since Kipperlilly was going after him initially, but in the end they agree to take him to the Council of Chosen office in Bastion City so he can be under their protection and to leave Fig’s phone (juiced up by Gorgug) in the pocket dimension with Buddy’s body in case there are any shenanigans (you know, besides him getting murdered which was already a pretty big shenanigan).

The Bad Kids drop off Gavin and then take a bus back to Elmville with a new mission: CSI Elmville, let’s get this bitch arrested! 

Editing to Add: This is a very cool post by @thisisnotthenerd that covers all the Last Stand Qs and monsters in the form of Gavin's proctor notes. Check it out!

Detention 

Kipperlilly for Icing Buddy

This was gonna go to Brennan for making a bunch of stand up comedians do math under a time limit but I can’t not give it to Kipperlilly here. She smiled. She looked at Kristen, smiled, and slit Buddy’s throat. There was no gritting her teeth like it was a hard but pragmatic choice. She was about to take the life of someone who fully trusted her and she did it with glee. There is something *deeply* wrong with this bitch, and we knew that already but hoo boy this certainly clinches it. 

Honor Roll

Gorgug for DESTROYING that Purple Worm

Everyone was in top form this episode but if I have to give it to one person, I’m gonna give it to Gorgug for single handedly holding back a Purple Worm, a monster so terrifying that there is an official D&D show where the premise is that all the players have to fight an OP monster they’re almost certainly gonna TPK against and the title is “Faster, Purple Worm! Kill! Kill!” Our boy didn’t even drop. That’s Maximum Legend Behavior. 

Random Notes

Kristen has the thought that she interrupted a truly horrible thing that KP was about to do and wonders what the crossbow bolt was loaded with. I didn’t mention it in the recap but I wanted to call attention to it because Brennan called attention to it. 

Also Riz got some footage of Gavin clearing them with his tie and Gavin sent their scores to the superintendent (not Jace to be clear–Tectonya Karkovnya who we met in The Seven).

Ugh I’m so annoyed because if KP and Oisin get questioned under Zone of Truth they’re absolutely gonna be dosed up with Devil’s Honey.

Buddy’s throat was slit and there’s no rune on his chest so presumably he can be revived if he’s brought to a hospital–hell Kristen could probably do it with a higher level spell–but I’m worried someone’s gonna slap that rune on him while his body is alone.

Do we think KP killed Buddy without a thought because she knows she lives in a world with revives and she knows it’s temporary or is she just like I truly do not care what happens to this (literally) corny ass cleric. I don’t know him like that. 

Once again, I love Adaine’s div powers so much. “You crit actually.” What a legend. Also love Fig coming to her with doubt and her just being like don’t be crazy and slapping a reticle on the monster to help her aim. I really love their friendship. 

Adaine is my favorite Bad Kid and I am first in line to throw down wrath on anyone who tries to mess with her. That being said, my favorite non-Bad Kid character is Aelwyn who has absolutely tried to kill Adaine and attacked her on multiple occasions and also is wanted for murders she absolutely did. My point here is that Oisin’s next moves will determine if he’s “surrounded by bad influences/I can fix them” material like Aelwyn or, “Throw out the whole man” material like that cop Antiope had a crush on. I am still rooting for the former but I will flip on a dime, do not doubt me. 

I tried that essay writing task and with 25 seconds left on the clock (I stopped when I finished making my points) I was only at 174 words and my hand was seriously cramping. So I would say, valiant effort from the Bad Kids but that was a *rough* ask. 

Kristen’s Bless really came in clutch! Honorary mention to her for that AND for having enough intuition to keep an eye on the Rat Grinder situation. I wonder if Brennan contemplated that might happen. 

Fig bug zapping all those flying monsters was chef’s kiss. 

Did Bobby Dawn fail Kristen specifically so she’d have to take the Last Stand? If so, he is indirectly responsible for his grandson getting iced. Hope that tastes bitter when he finds out but for all we know he’s one of those ends justify the means guys. Bleh. 

This season really is a love letter to all that came before it. The questions, the pentacorn, Adaine’s go to move even magically just being making a fist and letting it fly. I really love how much love Brennan clearly has for this world. And the 100% score the players got on the test shows they obviously love it right back!

Loose Ends

It is Fantasy High tradition for us to get a huge lore dump near the end of the season that ties together a lot of disparate clues and I hope we’re getting there soon because there are a LOT of loose ends we have yet to tie. Here are as many major ones as I can think of right now in case it helps spark productive speculation amongst y’all. 

Who killed the Loams?

Why the move to Loam Farm for Frosty Faire?

What specifically was Ruben trying to do with the symbol when he was playing at the festival? Presumably the thing Grix was trying to prevent?

Who killed Professor Badgood?

What were the exact circumstances behind Lucy’s death?

Who was able to put the rune on both of their bodies and what exactly was the goal there?

What is the Devil’s Honey being used for? What about the other things Aelwyn was getting for KP like Ambrosia? Why did she want a Cloud Rider engine?

How is Jace involved? Why is he manipulating Ruben?

How culpable is each individual Rat Grinder? Are they all in it together or are there varying levels of how involved they are?

Why were Ankarana’s domains wiped from heavens’ computers?

Why did Ankarna become corrupted and why was she forgotten? Were the celestial gods (Sol and co) involved?   

How did KP find the rogue teacher?

Also what’s her damage? Why is she obsessed with Riz? What are her anger issues about?

What’s her current goal? Who is she loyal to (if anyone)? Why did she want to know about Kristen creating a god exactly?

Why did Lucy change her god and then change it back?

Why was Buddy specifically requested by the Rat Grinders?

Why is KP running for class president? And is Mazey being principal a purposeful machination or just a weird thing that’s happening incidentally? 

What’s up with Spy’s Tongue Curse and Kalina only being able to say Ragh’s name? Is it related to that conversation between Kalina, Adaine’s mom, and Jace from SY?

Why wasn’t Ivy surprised to see Fig in disguise as Lucy who was at the time fully dead?

What’s up with the party vision that Adaine has now had at least twice?

Where is KP getting her money from?

What made the Rat Grinders become the Rat Grinders when they started as the High Five Heroes?

What's up with the shatter stars infecting the soil around Elmville?

Where exactly is Cass right now?

What does Ankarna want?

How does Ruvina fit into all of this?

Feel free to hit me up if there's something you think I should add to the list! Can't wait for next week. I'll see you then!

[prodigy-if]

[[DEMO]]

Hiraeth Academy. A home for genius children. All types of prodigies from across the globe have gotten their start there. 

Of course, while the house may seem like a fascinating and wonderous place on the outside, anyone who has actually lived there knows the truth. It’s an odd place full of dark secrets and mysteries that shouldn’t be unraveled.

There is a reason why all former “students” never return after all. A thing that keeps them driven away. A thing that keeps them from even thinking about looking back once they step through those doors. Wanting to go back is the last thing on any former inhabitants list.

You of all people would know. Leaving seven years ago and not looking back was the single best decision you ever made. You would never even think about considering going back.

Until now that is.

Rated 17+ for graphic depictions of violence, death, alcohol use, explicit language, suggestive content, mature themes.

Play as a former “child prodigy” who’s life has gotten flipped upside down. Again.

Uncover the mysteries of Hiraeth Academy and it’s mysterious headmaster.

Explore and navigate complex relationships with five different ROs.

Customize your character’s personality and appearance.

Look back onto your past in order to solve a decades long mystery.

Learn about the complex history of both the academy and it’s former students.

Try not to let the past catch up with you. It won’t let go once it does.

Most importantly: Remember to always follow the rules. They were put in for a reason after all.

Marlon Nikitin [He/Him]

Your former “academic” rival. He also happens to be the last person you spoke to before you left the academy. It’s been years since you’ve last saw him and he seems just as abrasive as ever. Despite the time that has passed, it seems his competitive spark is still as strong as ever. Although, despite his seemingly indifferent attitude, he seems equally as invested in learning the secrets of this place as you are. If not more.

Cyrus Quinn [He/Him]

Another former “student” of the academy, Cyrus practically disappeared off the face of the earth after leaving. You remember him as being quite laidback and snarky, an odd demeanor for an inhabitant of the house to have had, but he had always been kind to you despite not being particularly close. He seems to have kept this attitude into adulthood but every now and then you get a glimpse of something darker hiding beneath the surface.

Naomi Adams [She/Her]

Your former best friend and assigned “partner” at the academy. Her calm demeanor made her an easy source of comfort in what was otherwise a chaotic life. You haven’t spoken since you left the academy, and during that time she seems to have...changed. She’s more anxious and on edge. Perhaps rekindling your friendship is the only way to see what secrets she may be hiding.

Isla Wright [She/Her]

Isla was always a difficult person to understand. She was an endless source of energy and was constantly fluttering in and out of people’s business. The type that was everyone’s friend but very few people actually seemed to be hers. For as well as she knew everyone else, it was difficult to get a read on her. This isn’t something that has changed into adulthood. In fact, Isla seems to be even more difficult to understand than before. 

Kieran Naught [Gender Selectable]

The only member of the group who did not attend Hiraeth Academy. They are a local private investigator who is looking into the death of the former headmaster. Kieran can be described as distant at best and as paranoid at worst. Usually, you couldn’t care less about some wanna be detective investigating the school (it wouldn’t be the first time after all), but they seem to have taken a distinct interest in you. Whether it’s genuine curiosity or suspicion, you don’t know and you don’t particularly want to find out.

[faulty-writes]

heyhey how are you doing ? I was super excited to see someone writing so much for Tenya. So if it's okay...Can you write hc of him with a romantic partner (gn or fem if you feel more comfortable writing fem) who tries to bond with his family, like someone who would befriend Tensei, help him with his recovery maybe, would get along with his parents etc ⸜( ´ ꒳ ` )⸝

[ I'm doing okay, thank you for asking. Been busy with schoolwork, Abnormal Psychology is kicking my ass this term but so far I've gotten A's so, hooray for me. Also got a new job. Honestly, he's very popular on my blog because I write him well. At least that's what everyone tells me, hah. Anywho, this sounds adorable. Plus Tensei is mentioned! I love him very dearly as well. ]

"This is Y/n. She is my fellow student and romantic partner. She is rather admirable for the way she so victoriously displays her heroic skills during our assigned training sessions as well as the way she articulates her quirk!" You weren't sure if you were more embarrassed that those were his first words when introducing you to his family or that his mother immediately took a liking to you, going as far as to thank you for your interest in her son.

It was an honor to meet Tensei since Tenya continuously spoke of his admiration for the now-retired pro hero. Although it saddened you to see him in a wheelchair, it didn't dampen his spirits. "Hey! It's awesome to meet the girl my little brother keeps talking about!" He said, happily shaking your hand. "Brother! I ask you not to go into such details regarding that," Tenya insisted, flushing softly.

"Apologies, my family has requested my assistance." You understood that family was a priority for Tenya, especially considering he bragged about the Iida name. Because of this, he canceled your date plans on occasion, and you tried to remain supportive considering family bonds were precious.

On more than one occasion, you had dinner with the Iida family. "It is quite an honor to share this family bonding moment with you! I do hope the Iida family has made you feel welcome!" Tenya would always try to break the ice and unlike his mother, his father was less impressed by you but regardless, you tried your best to connect with him.

"You can pull harder, it's totally okay!" Tensei said. Sometimes you'd help him with his physical therapy exercises when Tenya was busy studying or just provide him with companionship, all of which Tenya would thank you for. "To show such noble attributes to fallen heroes is a wonderful characteristic! I hope that I may be able to display true hero qualities such as yours one day!" Sometimes his praise was too much.

His mother would invite you to go shopping or out to eat. Of course, you weren't used to the fine taste the Iida family was known for. However, you genuinely enjoyed your time and when you returned, Tenya was eager to hear what had happened.

The basis of your relationship was honesty and open communication, and you extended this courtesy to his family. Especially with his father who asked you specific questions regarding your dreams and goals for the future. He also asked you about your romantic life both with his son and any past partners you had.

The two of you managed to keep each other in balance and more importantly, worked around your busy schedules. Between your academic and personal lives, it was tricky to maintain your romantic life. But Tenya always made time to show you how much he and, to an extent, his family cared and loved you.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a labor day long weekend

11pm, sunday, september 1, 2024

couldn't remember if i've done 'in lieu of a long weekend' before, so i specified. raise your hand if you're spending the day off doing more work than ever, because you're a grad student and/or poor planner!

reading

francis spufford's cahokia jazz (2024) absolutely entranced me this week. i couldn't put it down, stayed up all night (literally) to get through the big confrontation and then stayed up to make sure i knew how things shook out afterwards. i have found two book reviews which seem to agree that there's a lot to 'work through' here, pull-quote below, but this was not my experience-- i was thoroughly hooked by the (to me) subtle and eloquent clues about how this timeline was different from our own, and fascinated by the city politics, religion, infrastructure-- if anything, the focus on public transit struck me more than the exposition! shoutout to the streetcars!--but most importantly, maybe, spufford knew how to write his protagonist's relationship to music, and incorporate joe's jazz into his pov in a beautiful way, a real way. i'm fucking mourning the what-could-have-been of cahokia, of indigenous america, of. god. that vision of a different form of modernity-- not less complicated, not less industrialized, with all its own moral ambiguities and darkness...but nevertheless a living society.

from the new york times' review, ivy pochoda:

Reader, let me ask you a question. How much work are you willing to do to dive into a new novel? Do you want to step into a speculative world frustratingly close to our own? Do you want to spend time in an imaginary city constructed with the world-building minutiae of a high fantasy novel? Do you want to engage with new forms of government and religious sects? Are you cool if there’s foreign language peppered throughout? How about the Klan? A Red scare? A nascent F.B.I.? A love story? Do you also want jazz? And do you want all of this to be part of a detective novel?

fucking of course YES I DO.

also finished just today, the personal librarian (2021) by Marie Benedict, Victoria Christopher Murray, narrated by Robin Miles. i had known there was a belle da costa greene award offered by the maa for medievalists of color, but it took me until reading this novel to actually learn anything about belle herself, and i am thrilled it exists. i'm so, so glad she existed. figuring out how to work her into my medieval book syllabus as we speak. a very different book than the one above, though they both must have taken a huge amount of research and informed imagination and inference-- belle destroyed her correspondence, apart from her business letters apparently-- but the academic in me was hoping there would be. two or three more skosh more precision and detail in the discussion of manuscript / incunabula research. there was a lot of 'the beauty of art' and 'the value of the written word' but it felt a little cursory. still, i know i'm an outlier. the discussions of her relationships to her parents, her identity, her passing, were all executed with so much care.

watching

the build up of intensity / count-down to the opening of the restaurant in the bear s2 was getting to me in the count down to the new semester, so i turned to something a little different. what if this is the year i actually get into psych. so far, signs point to this being a good decision. just finished the spelling bee episode (s1e02 i think? i didn't realize that the pilot was two parts, i thought those were two separate eps but whatever) and it was absurd, but. i'm just so glad to be watching tv made in an era where...you have to watch the screen to get everything that's happening! and there are contrived/ridiculous premises in the same episode as some layers are built up in the main characters' relationships and actual, like, continuity! it's a serial detective show that is at bottom incredibly silly but i'm here to over think and get invested in it. love to see dulé hill in a lead role. what the hell was i doing in 2006, when not watching this.

listening

i'm exploring a bit lately, new music, new (to me) artists-- I think i'm enjoying pop girlies at the moment, song of the summer etc., and charlie xcx's brat and caroline polachek have both been on my repeat list, but i don't have a ton to report yet. honestly this week it's been a lot of listening to the podcast a more civilized age: a star wars podcast (thanks @knifepadme for the rec!!) break down over andor. it is so incredibly cute to hear how excited they get over the first three episodes, and continue to get over the whole first arc. TELEVISION! it makes me feel like i'm rewatching the show with friends, their insights and the parallels and interpretations they keep pulling out are enriching it a lot, but also their star wars nerdery is picking up on things i wouldn't have thought to get excited about, and predictions that never occurred to me, and it's. delightful.

playing

finished chants of sennaar! total play time was about 20 hours, and that's with getting all the glyphs and all but two of the accomplishments (a little sore about that since I'm pretty sure i was in proximity for at least one of them that ended up not counting, but, whatever). i did consult a guide for the final series of puzzles, not the last language but the stuff that came after, i guess because i wanted to be completionist about it--but there were also some obstacles that weren't logic or anything, but more about learning the game's patterns (the first thing i looked up was staring right in front of me, i just wasn't paying attention to the right shit). there was a moment when the genre of the game shifted, i think i've mentioned before maybe, and it happens again towards the end-- but this time it didn't hit in quite the same way? perhaps because it wasn't as big a shock. more of a 'oh well, i guess this might as well be happening' reaction. i'd done a few of the puzzles out of order, i think, earlier than they'd anticipated / as i was progressing up the tower rather than all at the end, except for one at the very bottom that i had to go back and find (thank you to the people online who write guides and do playthroughs).

i really loved the visuals and design of this game-- the colors, the angles, the wild perspectives in some of the scenes. i liked that, once i'd gotten the hang of something, i could typically repeat that manner of thinking and succeed the next time as well-- a game about learning. learning to learn!

making

sewed part of one of the new patches onto the jacket. just barely worked out a stitch i could handle, only to have my housemate lend me a little rubber finger...thingy, and make everything so much easier. why did i decide to sew through denim and multiple layers of stitching? because i don't trust the iron-able backing, and also love to make life harder for myself i guess.

working on

it's been syllabus lockdown hours over here, and considering that the first class is thursday, it will continue to be until the absolute last fucking minute. i want too much and also shy away from making literally any decision. you'd think that this level of avoidance might make it easier to productively procrastinate by working on other things, but that's a funny joke.

[toomanythoughts4myhead]

Pairings: ???!Coriolanus Snow x fem!scientists!reader

Warnings: blood, death, kinda dismemberment, tall of death, gore, Dr Gaul, mutated animal (nothing is too graphic)

Six feet bellow (preview)

Coriolanus Snow was a smart talented man, a gem amongst his peers - both in academic and personal performance.

Simply his name carried weight with it and it continued to linger in the empty classrooms of the Acadmy or even amongst the Capitols Citadel.

Coriolanus Snow was a never ending whisper, a legend with no face or form to match.

A ghost of his own that haunts any and all facilities his presence graced. Some say he went off to the districts to follow in his father's footsteps, some say he was killed or threatened to leave after his supposed win in the 10th Hunger games, but that's just a theory.

No one had seen that year air, people aren't even sure it happened at this point. You sure don't care much about it.

How couldnyou have known you would be the one to find out? And more importantly how could you cope with what he had become from your hands?

It's been almost seven years since then and the Hunger games were in their full swing as of now.

You hear the name of Coriolanus Snow often, funnily enough people compare you to him. With your excellent grades and mostly the liking that Dr Gaul had taken to you through your second year of the Academy, some people pointed out the similarities. You'd heard of the name before that, mostly seen it in greathalls or even engraved on a marble stone amongst the other students who were top of the class before and after him.

It isn't until Dr Gaul herself mentions him in one of your meetings, your activities after your university classes finish usually consist of long talks and even studies and experiments. As an official part of her scientists team and a prodigy in her DNA modifion studies you were no Saint.

You were born tainted, by your parents and their own blood soaked riches and even by your own choices. You picked this path for yourself, as unconventional as it it was for one of the heirs of the richest bloodlines to be a scientists. Yet here you were, you can sya that you are decently respected and mostly a mysterious figure in the frivolous antics of the Capitol.

Which is why it surprised you when Dr Gaul compared you to her old student Coriolanus Snow, the swift and ever charming golden boy of the Cademy frok almost a decade ago. You couldn't see her expression as she played with a mutated white rabbit who's long, now purple tongue scraped the bottom of its enclosure. Her tone didn't change but you haven't seen her weaver before.

Well until now, or maybe it was a figment of your own tired mind. She seemed almost tired and her usually plank straight posture seemed more relaxed, dare you say human.

"You remind me of someone i knew long ago - someone who failed me long ago, Miss Beaumont."

You raise an eyebrow but your expression is half hidden by the mask that keeps all chemicals in the laboratory breathable. You don't try to interrupt, especially after working with Dr Gaul long enough to know her drama prone nature. It also didn't rub you the right way to hear unreasoned remark, your work was pristine and your loyalty hadn't wavered. But Dr Gaul should know that after all these years with you by her side.

You hope your eyes don't twitch as Dr Gaul continues.

"But i do like you, child. You have your head on your shoulders, dont let me be wrong about you. I do hate being wrong"

The sickening squelch and the swift snap of the pair of scissors that cut off the rabbits tongue, followed by its screeches ring out and fill the deafening silence of the room. Your gaze doesn't weaver even as Dr Gaul makes her exit and leaves you to clean up her mess.

You didn't likenit when she got like this, her thirst for blood and odd sadistic desires were nothing new but when she started to talk in riddles things were usually on their way to become "interesting".

As you put the rabbits suffering to an end with a precise cut you can feel your determination surging. Whatever test Dr Gaul has undoubtedly decided to throw at you, you will concur. You are in way too deep, your hands were red with more than this rabbits blood.

[queer-ragnelle]

is there any text or tumblr post that dives into the ways in which sir lancelot is insane? like a freak? i’ve read a couple extracts ab him giving the idea that he was effed up a bit and like a whole murderbot with raging feelings of hatred and love? i would like to know more ab the crazy things he does or says that make ppl go “this man is a freakazoid”. also i adore your blog thank you for making sumn this nice!

hi there!

i'm unsure if you mean excerpts from medieval sources in which lancelot is "mad" or academic articles dissecting those instances...but i have both for you lol now a disclaimer: i'm neither a medievalist nor a psychologist, so all i can offer you is the raw material and my opinion. while we shouldn't "diagnose" anyone of the past as we do now, lancelot isn't a real person, so i think that affords us a little more freedom to speculate about him, and more importantly, what it is he represented: a medieval anxiety surrounding trauma and the resulting mental toll. info and sources below a cut. huge content warning for self harm and suicidal ideation.

Academic Sources: Medieval Attitudes Towards Mental Illness by Edith A. Wright, Of Metal and Men by Julie Singer, The Enemy Inside by Brian Burfield

Medieval Sources: The Knight of The Cart by Chréiten de Troyes, The Vulgate Cycle edited by Norris J. Lacy

so for starters, let's establish what it is people are responding to when they discuss lancelot's mental instability. the character first appears in "the knight of the cart" by chrétien de troyes, and right from the getgo, lancelot exhibits a lot of mental distress, up to and including, a suicide attempt.

from his inception, lancelot was unwell. at another point, he appears to disassociate so completely, he forgets his own identity, and loses perception of his body.

now you may have noticed that the text always links lancelot's episodes to his fixation on guinevere. we'd be here forever if we incorporated the way medieval authors offset the blame of their protagonists' deteriorating mental states onto the fault of a woman (see also: yvain/owain's madness when laudine/countess divorced him, tristan's madness out of longing for isolde, etc.) whereas when a woman shows upset, it's never attributed to her lover, but a shortcoming within herself. so for the sake of staying on topic, we'll focus on lancelot's symptoms as they are, rather than trying to unravel the middle ages-sized knot of misogyny that is the fictitious root of these madness episodes. "medieval attitudes towards mental illness" by edith a. wright discusses this trend in depth.

i'm going to be focusing on "the vulgate cycle" as my main source of lancelot's madness as he has multiple distinct episodes in that text written in excruciating detail that we can discuss. generally speaking, lancelot is presented as an extremely anxious individual that's highly susceptible to outside influence (whether that be guinevere's, galehaut's, etc.) but that in and of itself is not necessarily indicative of mental illness so much as a rarely explored introverted quirk of his personality. as discussed in "of metal and men" by julie singer, it seems lancelot's at his most confident when operating as an anonymous knight and therefore not subject to the scrutiny of societal expectation.

this, however, can develop in extreme ways when lancelot is pushed past his limits, and he succumbs to a berserker-like state neither his friends nor family can shake him from. while imprisoned at saxon rock, lancelot has to be segregated from the other prisoners, despite galehaut begging to be housed with him, the jailers refuse as lancelot's psychosis is so intense that he'd kill his fellow hostages and thus neutralize the enemy army's advantage. lancelot's refusal to eat exacerbates his symptoms. [Lancelot Part II, Ch. 71. Lancelot’s Madness and Cure; Defeat of the Saxons and Irish; Lancelot, Galehaut, and Hector Become Companions of the Round Table]

this psychotic episode continues even after lancelot is freed. eventually guinevere is forced to lock him alone in a room to protect the others, as he continues to attack anyone who comes near, including his own younger cousin and squire lionel who had attempted to talk him down and was struck. lancelot only recovers after his adoptive mother, the lady of the lake, arrives and utilizes strikingly modern de-escalation techniques, such as referring to lancelot by his childhood name to ground him, administering some medicine to help him sleep, allowing him uninterrupted rest, and then bathing him. (this is tinged with medieval mysticism, of course, but you get the idea.) the lady of the lake then instructs guinevere on how to care for him thereafter. once lancelot awakens from his magic/healing-induced coma, his sanity is restored.

it feels important to note here that, once lancelot regains his senses, he feels ashamed of his behavior, and worries that his mental instability would cause guinevere to love him less. but she assures him that she loves him and is committed as long as they both live. even in medieval times, people recognized that a strong support system was of utmost importance for the mentally ill to thrive.

lancelot is, for the most part, stable for a time after this, contented to live at sorealis with galehaut (and guinevere for a bit as well). but growing restless, lancelot leaves galehaut's company to go adventuring. through some misunderstanding, galehaut believes lancelot had died, and thus dies of heartbreak himself. on discovery of his beloved's tomb, lancelot grieves so bitterly that he intends to kill himself on the spot. [Lancelot Part IV, Ch. 120. Lancelot Discovers Galehaut’s Casket and Defends It; Lancelot Rescues Meleagant’s Sister]

it's here that a messenger of the lady of the lake arrives. the lady had been informed by her oracle that this would happen, so acting quickly, she sent someone to intervene. the messenger takes the sword from lancelot and immediately gives him a task, one that would exhume galehaut and bring his body to where lancelot would eventually be buried beside him. in the short term, this prevented lancelot from harming himself, and in the long term, guided him toward shifting gears long enough that he eventually overcomes his grief through completion of his lady's instruction.

the next time lancelot is driven mad is after he is beguiled by elaine of corbenic into bed with her at camelot. (this is the second time, galahad had already been conceived). [Lancelot Part VI, Ch. 176 Lancelot and Arthur Go to Gaul; Claudas Abandons Gaunes; King Pelles’s Daughter Deceives Lancelot; Guenevere Expels Lancelot]

at this point, lancelot is beyond the reach of even his mother, the lady of the lake, so this psychotic episode persists for many years. he's declared missing and all of the knights set out in search of him, to no avail, and he is assumed dead. lancelot, meanwhile, survives the winter by attacking people and stealing their resources. [Lancelot Part VI, Ch. 178 Lancelot’s Madness and Subsequent Cure]

eventually, while lancelot is subdued in a deep sleep, a pair of charitable brother knights, recognizing that lancelot is unable to care for himself and a danger to those around him, successfully transport him to their castle. they don't know who he is. they keep him chained for safety but feed and clothe him. during this time, lancelot mutilates himself to be free.

eventually, lancelot is calm enough to be freed from his bindings, and lives with the brothers in this way for two years. he eats little and completely loses touch with his identity and the reality of the world around him.

but one day, lancelot looks out his tower window and sees a passing boar. he's compelled to follow it and departs the castle of the brothers without a word. he ends up in a battle with the boar which he barely survives. a holy man happens upon him and tries to administer healing, but lancelot attacks him.

after this the holy man flees and enlists the help of some men-at-arms, who assist in capturing lancelot and forcibly strapping him to a litter to be drawn away. ultimately, despite the best intentions, lancelot's condition only worsens.

i'm going to make a brief aside here as this reminds me of an article i read detailing a similar situation which occurred in real life. in "the enemy inside" by brian burfield, john of ancaster suffered mental distress as a result of the war in france, subsequently inflicting harm on himself and others. in this case, it was his father that restrained him into a horse-drawn cart, and brought him to a place of healing which was revolutionary of the time period, as friar bartholomeus recognized the connection between trauma and mental distress without attributing it to demonic possession, thus attracting many people in need of help to his monastery for treatment. so there is, at least in part, historical precedence of similar occurrences.

anyway, back to lancelot. he eventually flees from his intended caretakers yet again and wanders to the town of corbenic. there the children recognize his madness and begin to harass him, throwing stones and sticks, until he's incited to retaliate and wounds anyone who crosses him. eventually he wanders into the castle itself. the courtlings recognize he's mad, and feed him scraps. satiated, he literally curls up and sleeps on the floor like a dog. it's this, at last, that allows him to begin the slow recovery to wellness.

finally, after all these years, someone recognizes lancelot for who he is. none other than elaine of corbenic.

she tells her father pelles and he concocts a plan to capture and cure lancelot using the power of the holy grail. so as the times before, they wait until lancelot falls asleep, and bind him up. then at long last, his senses are restored.

when lancelot awakens from his stupor, he knows not how he got there, but begins walking upright and talking coherently again. he implores pelles to explain how he came there. once up to speed. lancelot is grateful no one but pelles and elaine recognized him. now let it be made clear that while lancelot's psychotic episode had finally concluded, he's not otherwise alleviated of mental anguish. he's still depressed about his banishment from logres and camelot, and deeply ashamed of his many years spent mad. thus he requests of pelles to live somewhere far away, where no one but pelles and elaine will ever recognize him.

so an island with a castle is located on which lancelot can live and he, together with elaine and a small court, go there to stay. lancelot loses his knightly abilities and instead takes up the daily ritual of subjecting himself to painful memories of logres, which then in turn bring him "relief" and "comfort". an apt description of rumination and self harm.

eventually, lancelot sends a secret message back to the land of logres intended to entice people to the island to fight him so he can relive the glory days.

in the end, it's lancelot's own half brother hector along with young and newly knighted perceval who find lancelot on the isle of joy. hector tells lancelot that the queen summons him, and lancelot immediately prepares to leave. on hearing this, galahad tells his grandfather he'll go and lodge in the abbey run by his great aunt, so that he might be nearer to his father. [Lancelot Part VI, Ch. 179 Hector and Perceval Find Lancelot, and They All Return to Camelot; Galahad’s Arrival Is Announced]

and with that, lancelot reenters society with his brother and son, which kicks off the grail quest in the subsequent book. that's a lot of info and reading, but all this to say that yeah, lancelot is known for his mental instability, to say the least. thanks for the ask!

[dylanobrienisbatman]

Saw video today of a young boy in Gaza, no older than early teens, sobbing as he prayed with his community over the bodies of his entire family who had been slaughtered by Israel. His entire family.

As we watch the most gut-wrenching scenes, the most horror filled images filling our screens every second of every day, I know I personally feel helpless and devastated and lost on what to do. We may not feel as though we have much power in these moments, but there are things we can do to make our voices heard and to help as much as we can. Here are some important ways you can help the people of Gaza:

purchase e-sims and send them to this email, where they are distributing the e-sims for free to people in Gaza. This ensures that they can stay connected, both to the world at large but, more importantly, to their families and communities. As Israel continues to cut off all internet in Gaza, this is crucial. This account on tw*tter has more information about their efforts to distribute the e-sims.

Share what is happening wherever you have a platform and, most importantly. Speak out what is happening with the people in your real life community. For 75 years Israel has convinced the world that the situation is "complex" and have managed to dissuade "normal" everyday people from speaking out on the atrocities they have been ceaselessly carrying out. Don't let them undermine your intelligence and don't let them try to convince you that what you are seeing isn't actually a genocide. Share posts from Palestinians and Gazans and be vocal about your support for a ceasefire and a free Palestine.

Boycott!! BDS (Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions) has released a list of companies to boycott who are profitting from or contributing too the genocide in Gaza. There are, unfortunately, so many companies that profit and contribute to Israel, but BDS has put together a list of targeted companies to ensure we can narrow our focus and make maximum impact. The most commonly known right now are McDonald's, Starbucks, and Dominoes, but this link has more information and a list with different categories for us to be aware and use our most powerful tool, our money, to make an impact.

Read!! There are dozens of book lists out there now that contain different kinds of writings for every kind of person. Novels that tell the stories of the Palestinian people through fiction-style writing. Academic texts. Historical non-fiction works that tell the history of the occupation. Find something that will be of benefit to you and READ. An informed populace is a powerful populace.

Protest! Find a protest in your area and GO! Not only does this help to show the world and our governments what it is the people stand for, with more people attending sending a stronger message, it will also help you find community and support with people who understand the devastation we feel.

Reach out to your elected officials!! Call, email, fax, or even write letters! This is a huge way that we as individuals can change the policy positions of our elected officials. The more people who tell them "this issue matters and will effect my voting decisions in the future", the more likely they will be to change their position. And even if it feels like you're just yelling at the wall, it will feel good to say what you feel and what you believe to someone that you KNOW has the power to change things. It won't be automatic, and can be disheartening, but it is important.

I'm sure there are even more ways to help, and please share them below if you have any! Keep your head up and keep going. Don't look away. The people of Gaza have asked us to bear witness to the atrocities being carried out against them, to speak out for them as they lose their voices, and to pray for them and hope for them. Don't abandon them, and don't abandon hope. Hope is the strongest force we have in times of such darkness. Together, we can and we will see a free Palestine.

[matthyeu]

marker of the end ― zh.

pairing ⇢ zhang hao x gn!reader 

genre ⇢ fluff, angst, academic rivals to lovers/enemies to lovers, college!au

warnings ⇢ like one swear word, mention of drinking

word count ⇢ 1.5k

synopsis ⇢ this would be the last time you and zhang hao crossed paths as rivals.

this was the moment you were waiting for the past few years. hearing your name called to walk across the big stage. shaking hands with several of the university board. most importantly, looking your rival in the eyes in a gloating way to celebrate your own accomplishments, your graduation at the top of your department. you had won. 

what you didn’t expect was for zhang hao to look back at you with a soft look in his eyes, a wide smile on his face, and two thumbs up for you once you made eye contact. for the first time, you could understand why he was the campus crush. you never understood such blasphemy because the two of you had always been at ends with each other in academics. 

at seven years old, you found the most pride in your ability to quickly do math, always completing the tests your teacher distributed every week in under 20 seconds with 100% accuracy. there was no one that could beat you. 

until the time you and hao both brought your tests up to the teacher at the same time, the first time he had caught up to you. by some miraculous twisted fate, you had gotten one question wrong, and he had taken the title of the week’s fastest perfect scorer. 

“ha, finally!” he exclaimed. 

“mmm just a fluke.” 

at twelve years old, you found the most pride in taking honors classes in secondary school. you were always placed with students who were older than you, many of them baffled at how such a young person could be learning the same material as them. 

but of course, there was also a certain someone who always managed to find their way into your class as well. in fact, the first time you had one of those classes, he plopped down next to you, his irritating aura being something you could always sense. 

“fancy seeing you here,” he jeered, taking out his notebooks and pencil pouch filled with various pens for note taking, “thought you’d be stuck in the regular classes seeing how panicked you were for placement exams.”

“shut it zhang,” you spat, slamming your own pouch onto the table and drawing attention to yourself, “you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

at age eighteen, you found the most pride in taking the podium at your high school graduation, doing a speech as the valedictorian. being able to stand there amongst your peers knowing you had worked the hardest and done the most for your position was everything you dreamed of. 

however, you had to share it with him. the teachers tried and tried, but they could not find even the slightest difference in your grades. you were practically the same student: studious, hardworking, and intelligent. there was nothing to set the two of you apart, so it was only fair for you to take the podium together. you only wished they had allocated more time for the venue because sharing your valedictorian speech was definitely not something you always wanted. 

“now don’t you try to push me off the stage in front of everyone,” he warned, “that wouldn’t be very top goody-two-shoes student of you now. let’s be civil today.” 

you rolled your eyes. “funny for you to say that when you’re always the one provoking me with your irritating voice. i already have to hear your voice blasting through the speakers, so why don’t you just save my ears from bleeding before i even have to hear that?”

at age twenty-one, you found the most pride in sitting at the library speeding through your assignments at a quick yet accurate pace. you tried not to procrastinate, but sometimes things did happen. at those times, there was nothing more satisfying than seeing the to-do list diminish into nothing. 

and for once, you didn’t mind your rival sitting across from you doing work. his presence actually made you feel more motivated to complete your assignments, wanting to finish your long list before he finished his. 

“finally off your spree?” he questioned, looking up to see you chewing on your pencil at a particularly hard problem, “too hard for you?” 

“please shut the fuck up. i can’t concentrate if you’re bothering me.” 

“okay chill,” he raised his hands up in defense, “i was just wondering if i could maybe help or anything. you look like you have a lot on your plate today.” 

“you? help me? you literally pray for my downfall, why would you do that?” you interrogated, believing he would somehow sabotage your problem by giving you some preposterous answer. 

“yeah, but you seem to be stressing a lot, so i thought i’d offer. one nice act in our rivalry won’t undermine the countless other things we’re at each other’s throats for, right?” 

you eyed him carefully, still wary, but you had no other choice. you couldn’t even comprehend the question. “fine.” 

looking back, maybe the rivalry was fading out at the end. nearing graduation, it seemed the two of you cooled down, not constantly trying to one-up the other in any class. in fact, you no longer shared most of the same classes and were basically in your own worlds. apart from the occasional glare you gave each other while walking across campus, your hatred had not been so apparent. even your friends had pointed out how you complained less about the equally-studious boy. 

that was why you let your guard down when he approached you after the ceremony, when you were taking pictures with your family and friends. they all wanted to capture the moment on your wonderful day. 

“well, we meet again,” he joked, trying to copy the once threatening tone he had the first time he said that to you in the second grade. though, now there was no sense of menace in his tone, only congratulatory. “good job out there. you deserve it.” 

“why thank you zhang.” 

“hao, you can call me hao,” he clarified, sticking his hand out as if to mimic a first interaction, “you don’t have to refer to me with my last name anymore. we’re not rivals now.” 

“are we not now?” you ask teasingly as you shook his hand.

“unless you want to apply to the same jobs and try to rob each other of opportunities, then sure,” he teased back. 

“i never thought i’d see the day you two get along.” 

the two of you turned around to see your friend, the one who had received the most complaints about hao throughout your college experience. there were so many nights where you went on tangents about how stupid your rival was, more of them drunk than sober. if anyone knew how much you hated hao, it was them. 

“i say we should save this as a memory. how do you two feel about a picture?” 

you looked at hao to try to see his stance on it, but he only gave a mere shrug as a response. you assumed that was a positive response, so you moved next to him for the picture. 

“get a little closer now you two! who stands a foot apart in pictures?” 

rolling your eyes at your friend, you inched closer to hao until your bodies touched. it was the first time you two had ever gotten so close. 

“now, let’s get a little arm around the shoulder!” 

once again, you wanted to strangle your friend for the nitpicky requests. it was just a picture! all that needed to be done was a simple click to capture the moment. though, to make it go faster, you obliged, swinging your arm around his shoulder while he did the same to you. it was an awkward position for you to be in after despising him for most of your life. 

as your friend tried to find a good angle, hao made conversation with you through his smile. “so what if i asked you for lunch as ex-rivals?” 

you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “ex-rivals in what kind of way? like are we hanging out as friends, or are you asking me out on a date?” 

he chuckled. “i didn’t even think of the second option, but if you want it to be a date, i can certainly make it that.” 

you stepped on his foot, but he had to hide the pain for the sake of the photo. “that is not what i meant. do not get ahead of yourself. i’m just making sure you’re not trying anything.” 

“yeah, like i would ever. so how’s next wednesday sound?”

“sure.” 

“awww you guys look so cute!” your friend complimented as they came over, showing the picture to both you and hao, “do you want me to send it to you?” 

you waved it off, “you can keep it. why would i want to have a picture of myself with a guy i spent my whole life loathing in my camera roll?” 

what you didn’t know is you’d be asking that same friend to dig up the picture from their camera roll when you and hao bought your first home together. that way, you’d both have a memory of the moment your rivalry ended and your love began. 

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Carmen Anthony Berzatto, do we have a mental health problem?

You might wanna read this for context first.

I’m gonna get academic boring for a whole minute here, so feel free to just skip right to my point at the bottom.

Whilst Carmy definitely has mommy issues, and even daddy issues as well, plus he has sublimated his sexual attraction for Syd in getting a bullshit star for her as explained and predicted here, which triggered a relapse in his addition (workaholism), as I described and predicted here. That behavior, like any addiction, is in essence a repressed sexual impulse (according to Freud). According to other experts, addiction can, in essence, be considered a neurosis (more based on Jung’s concept, which is more advanced than Freud’s but does integrate it) and all of those concepts are Freudian and thus psychoanalytical, there’s a reason why IRL psychoanalysis is not the line of treatment used to treat neither addiction nor any of the other conditions Carmy has, such as C-PTSD, burnout syndrome, etc., all the other stuff I mentioned here in the extended version. What I didn’t mention there is Carmy’s neurodivergency, AUADHD (educated observation based on Carmy’s monologue in S1 and basically Carmy’s behavior during THE WHOLE SERIES and his untrained and innate talent in the arts that leads to alienation, etc) because neurodivergencies are not mental health issues, necessarily, so they shouldn’t be put on that list.

Carmy’s case is a clear case that IRL would be treated with a combo of Systemic Therapy + the classic line of treatment for addiction based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) + what nowadays is starting to be also paired with neuroscience therapy (NT) and giving very positive results. I won’t bore you even further with the figures but they can easily be found online.

My point is: The Bear, the name of the show, represents not just Carmy Berzatto, The Bear, but also the place where many souls come together to interact with each other and all those lives are going to intrinsically be changed by that experience, that has The Bear in common. Thus the show as a whole, including all of its characters, of course, is SYSTEMIC, which is the opposite of the Psychoanalytic approach. And it's super important to take this into account because the systemic approach in mental health and in every other field where it's applied, like in business, or even education, etc is an approach in which everything is viewed as part of a whole, it's basically like a continuous dance between the individual personal perception and it's environment and how they both affect each other, whereas the psychoanalysis' ultimate goal is getting as deep in the individual psyche as possible, dive into the individual's deepest unconscious.

In case you are wondering, I do have the credentials but I'm also and most importantly, one of those who believe that you don't need credentials to discuss mental health, and this show is among other stuff very much about mental health. What you need is the desire to be aware of it and as a matter of fact, I strongly advocate IRL for mental health to be actively talked about in class since elementary school and included as part of the curricular activities throughout the entirety of the school years, all the way to Senior year. Basically, I'm all for even kids with no Elementary education credentials talking about mental health. Mental Health shouldn't be an elite topic, or taboo, or necessarily a "problem". That doesn't mean that misinformation should be spread, clearly, and I have seen A LOT OF IT AROUND HERE LATELY WHICH DROVE ME NUTS, but it does mean that the fact that I have plenty of credentials to talk about this matter, is not the point.

So, back to my point: when those kids go out into the "adult world" they not only have an accurate self-awareness about their own mental health, but they also have more empathy for others and tools to cope with what we all know they will have to cope at some point in a world that is far from perfect, but most importantly have compassion. All of this to say: cases like Carmy's, Donna's, Michael's, Chef Fields, etc could be prevented or not as dramatic if we'd look at mental health as "a must" to be dealt with from a very young age, at home, school, later at work, etc. We shouldn't talk about it only if there's a problem that moves us to go and get help, or that makes us wanna go to therapy. NO! Mental health awareness can be as simple as a breakfast at home where we actually talk and listen for a few minutes while we have that cup of coffee or dig into that bowl of cereal, mental health awareness can be us watching The Bear as a family and using that space to vent about how we see ourselves or our families represented by that scene on the screen, mental health awareness can be us choosing not to lash out at someone WHO DESERVES IT BC THEY ARE BEING A BULLY or trying to get attention in a passive-aggressive way and rather set healthy boundaries, this can be practiced online or offline, of course. Mental health awareness is understanding -or trying our best to- that the person we are interacting in one way or the other with, can very well be in this headspace:

I said understand, not necessarily tolerate. But that understanding based on compassion can change it all. That is my point.

Bonus track: I am still mad at Storer but I forgave him, kinda like what Syd keeps doing with Carm because she gets what I just said, she's a natural. BUT Storer is still, and will always be, my spirit animal because he portrayed mental health like I have never seen on TV before. No misstep he takes, and he did take a few this last season, will ever undo the amazing job he did in the past, and I will always be grateful to him for that. He started a conversation that was loooooooooooong overdue.

[bfpnola]

Hey! This is @reaux07 and I just wanted to re-introduce our org! I am the current executive director of Better Future Program (BFP), a 501(c)(3) youth-run nonprofit headquartered in Bulbancha on Chahta Yakni and Chitimacha land. We envision a future in which youth are not only empowered to challenge oppressive hierarchies each day, but to create new, innovative, and inclusive frameworks of community care and intersectional justice.

Since 2016, our team has been dedicated to educating the masses on various academic subjects, mental health, and most importantly, social injustices that affect today's youth. We even offer over 3,000 free novels, movies, podcasts, and more just to fulfill this goal.

Here's the catch though! Since BFP is youth-run, many of our volunteers are students. During both the holidays and the start of each semester, we always experience a dramatic drop in participation, often meaning our workshops go from being run by 65 people to just 3 or 4. Currently, this is unsustainable for both our organization and our individual mental health. That's where YOU come in.

We need more volunteers! We'd like to not only fill up all of our leadership roles but have more than enough participants to allow each person's responsibilities to be greatly lessened. This would mean we could continue serving marginalized communities, uninterrupted, internationally, while still allowing volunteers to take breaks! We are only human. And even more so, many of us are only teens or children! We need your help.

And guess what? We have a $5,000 grant as gifted by the American Civil Liberties Union of Louisiana as well as nearly $600 in donations, all to go towards commissioning marginalized artists, mutual aid networks, and so on. Help us develop these plans further so we can service YOUR community today (e.g. we are currently sponsoring a chest binder drive for a local high school).

If you are interested in filling a leadership role, applying as a general volunteer (no specific responsibilities), or are simply interested in learning why we use a committee-based, horizontal organizational structure, tap here. There is something for everyone, promise!

And if you are interested in interacting with our community, our Discord server is linked here and our Linktr.ee below:

Please share to help support a Black-, woman-, queer-, disabled-, and youth-run organization!

[themissinghand]

Hello! If your requests are still open, may i ask for a stanley snyder x reader? (fem, or GN) Where the reader is xeno's sibling? It's ok if not though. Just dont get pressured from the requests :) (also, if i may reccommend a manhwa, I suggest you try to read return of the mount hua sect if you like action and murim (it's rlly good trust me), or omniscient reader's viewpoint if you haven't read it already (my favourite) but if you like romance manhwa's with a medieval setting, either "your majesty please spare me this time" (unlike most romance manhwa's the mc in this one doesn't get over their hatred for the crown prince so quickly and and immediately falls in love with them. she's very conflicted and the emotions she feels are well written and she's not always "girlbossing" her way through. fantasie of a stepmother/stepmothers marchen is also a really good one.

sorry i went on a rant there, but thanks for thaking the time to read this and have a nice day/night!

Dr. Stone: "Who Did This To You?"

Requested by: Anonymous

Note: Hey! Requests are open! Thanks for your patience, I really appreciate it. I love to try and write different things so getting requests is exciting for me. This is a bit different from how I write but hopefully I did it justice. Also, thanks for your manhwa recs, I already finished the novel for ORV (literally my fav) and read the manhwa for Your Majesty Please Spare Me This Time. I read a bit of Stepmother's Marchen and Return of the Mount Hua Sect a while back but haven't caught up with it yet. Definitely down to write something for manhwa!

Summary: In which no one messes with Xeno’s sibling and gets away with it. Or there's tension between siblings and Stanley is just a puppy (or is he?).

Pairing: Stanley Snyder x GN! Reader!

Warnings: Will contain violence and swearing. Spoilers for the characters, but no plot. For anime watchers, don't search up Xeno or Stanley if you don't want to be spoiled!

Jealousy is a mental cancer.

(Y/N) knows it well, especially since they have such an outstanding older brother named Xeno Houston Wingfield.

Unlike their brother, (Y/N) is a troublemaker, a free spirit, and most importantly, a fighter.

Instead of lab experiments and academic competitions, (Y/N) spends their time in the gym and fights street thugs that bullies the weak.

At first, (Y/N) hated their brother, for Xeno always, always cared more about his science experiments more than them, and had the love and attention from everyone.

Also, he always had his best friend Stanley around him to keep him entertained.

Stanley Synder was chill and abnormally attractive, so much so that every time Stanley greeted them, (Y/N) was blinded by his appearance.

So what if he looks good? He was annoying.

No matter how much (Y/N) avoided Stanley, the man would find them some way somehow, and it was frustrating to have a literal man-puppy follow you around!

So (Y/N) ignored both of them out of spite.

But one day, when (Y/N) heard loud curses and the sound of painful grunts from a suspicious alleyway (that they knew gangs and thugs frequent), they rushed in without a thought.

They assumed that the person getting bullied might be the old lady that sold shoes, or the nerdy student at school, or the little boy who saw something he shouldn’t see.

People who are too nice, too vulnerable, and too trusting of their own good.

However, this wasn’t the typical thug that (Y/N) beat up often, they were men dressed in formal suits with bats and batons in their hands.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Who the fuck is this kid?” The smell of cigarettes drifted into the air.

“Get out of here kid, we’re not looking for a fight. It’s this kid our boss has beef with.”

The person they were beating up were also not what (Y/N) was thinking of at all.

They weren't nice, vulnerable, or naive.

So when the person that (Y/N) saw was their brother, slightly beaten up and wet from water, they felt another type of emotion.

“(Y/N)?!”

Rage.

But (Y/N) didn’t know why.

“What are you doing here, Xeno?!” (Y/N) clutched their hands into fists.

“Hey, you know this kid?”

“Yea, I know him damn well.” In the next instant, (Y/N) kicked a metal bat out of a thug’s hands and used it as a weapon to fight.

Panic and curses filled the air as people yelled out profanities. But (Y/N) was used to this environment, this situation of 1 vs too many.

“Hey kid. We don’t have any business with you. Just with that fake little NASA scientist behind you.”

(Jealousy is a mental cancer)

(Y/N) never back down from a fight.

“Xeno, run.”

“What? There’s a zero percentage chance that you will win, and a very low chance that I’ll escape anyway! It’s more logical that I-”

(Ignorance runs in our blood, Xeno doesn't know (Y/N))

“There’s a hidden shortcut.” (Y/N) whispered, “Ran back and then take a sharp left, there’s a narrow walkway but you’ll fit through. Then you’ll find an apartment door - knock on it and tell the uncle there that I sent you.”

“What?! How can I-”

“Don’t you always take the logical path? Then do it. Stop being so emotional. It’s not like you care anyway.”

((Y/N) couldn’t see it, but Xeno immediately frowned and a bitter expression appeared on his face for a solid second before he turned and ran.)

“Catch him!”

That was their cue.

In the middle of the all-out brawl, (Y/N) maneuvered their way around like a slippery little snake, avoiding thugs with parkour and fighting back like a wild animal. They threw punches that sent people flying and kicks that sent people tumbling to the ground.

“I know you, you’re that troublemaker!” (Y/N) looked up with an arrogant smirk, and wiped the blood off the side of their lips.

“Yea, I know.” (Y/N) dodged the swing of a bat, and kicked one of them in the balls.

Unfortunately, someone grabbed (Y/N) from behind.

“I got you now-” But little did they know, (Y/N) is not one to be captured so easily. By leaning backwards and kicking the incoming fighters, it sent both of them back from the inertia, enough for (Y/N) to break out of the hold and kick all of them to the curb.

With so many taken out, it was quiet enough for them to hear sirens in the background.

“Fuck! I’ll fucking kill you and your brother the next time I see you!” Seeing them run with their tails tucked behind their ass was satisfying.

“Ha, what a joke. There won’t be a next time.” It took everything for (Y/N) to not fall over from fatigue and explain everything to the police, then they provided the police with camera footage and recording so the police could hunt them down.

The police insisted on bringing (Y/N) to the hospital due to the various injuries they got on their body, but (Y/N) instead just said they wanted a ride home. With a little bit of convincing, the police eventually listened and did as they said.

“Another person jealous of Xeno huh? Not surprised.”

"Xeno Houston Wingfield was the one that called for help." (Y/N) didn't say anything to that but simply looked outside the window.

When (Y/N) entered the house, they immediately went to their room, disregarding the worries from Xeno, and their parents.

“Fuck.” A string of curses left their lips as they tried to treat themselves with a first aid kit. It stings like hell and it doesn’t help when they’re extremely tired.

“(Y/N), it’s me. Stanley.”

“Go away.” (Y/N) replied with annoyance, they don’t need Xeno’s pity or get blinded right now.

“It’s just me.” (Y/N) watched the door silently.

“If you don’t open the door, I’ll kick it open.” With Stanley's playful tone, it sounded like something he would do out of spite.

“Fucking- alright. Happy?” Exasperated, (Y/N) opened the door and dragged the annoying prick into their room, before slamming it shut, not caring if Xeno was there at all.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks Sherlock.” Before (Y/N) could sit back on their bed, a hand reached out and grabbed their arm. With a forceful tug, Stanley spun them around.

“What the fuck-”

Sharp, predator eyes are what shut (Y/N) up.

For the first time in a long time, (Y/N) felt…nervous.

Stanley tilted (Y/N)’s chin up to get a better look at their face and the injuries from the fight. A hiss left their lips, but no words dared to come out when being stared down by those watchful eyes.

(Y/N) was both nervous and confused, just what was happening right now? What happened to the literal man-puppy?

But nothing came out of them in this tense atmosphere.

Stanley gently wipes away the streak of blood by (Y/N)’s mouth without saying anything.

(Y/N)’s heart skips a beat as Stanley finally directly looks them dead in the eye.

Stanley’s voice quiet and tense, their anger barely restrained.

“Who did this to you?”

It took a moment for (Y/N) to collect themselves.

“It’s none of your business.” (Y/N) tries to pry the hand away, but Stanley only tightens his hold.

“Yes it is.”

“Yea?” (Y/N) challenged, glaring at the older man, “And what are you gonna do about it huh?”

For a moment, (Y/N) saw an uncharacteristic violent glint in his eyes, bringing shivers done their spine.

“No one can hurt you and get away with it.”