#in a way only i cant understand
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
sometimes i feel like i shouldn't liveblog watching sports like idk if im just behind the 8 ball or smthin but 😭 idk im still healing from the time i thought the spurs got two chances in the playins to push into the playoffs 😭😭😭
#i rlly thought the pelicans were my allies..#listen. yall i#when i rlly get things... i rlly do#in a way that only i can understand#but when i dont..#i rlly... Really dont 😭#in a way only i cant understand#thats why if i dont rlly love a ship or a person i just keep out of their business 😭#sorry for havjng demons. my birthmom tried drowning me so i scratched the pastor until his eye squirted red#when he tried baptizing me later
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
um ok cool thanks for letting me know .... why are you telling me this
#yeah so on todays episode of guys who cant communicate their affections normally :#THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN DESCRIBE IT. I WANT TO EXPAND AND I WILL MAYBE. BUT THIS COMIC IS HOW THEY ARE IN MY HEAD#I CANT EXPLAIN IT IN ANY OTHER WAY OTHER THAN SHITPOSTS#for some reason i cant stop making shitposts that i take 100% seriously and put alot of thought into but cant say it in any other#form than a stupid shitpost#im hoping. praying that someone gets this#WHATEVER. YOULL GET IT WHEN I DO THE DAMN THING I WAS MEANT TO BE WORKING ON WHEN I WAS DOING THIS#OH ALSO I EXPERIMENTED WITH SCARS ON LAIOS because i saw someone else do it and i think its cool#chilaios#fucking sure ill put this in the other tags too#chilchuck#laios#thats it#otherwise ill get embarassed#guhhh DO YOU GET IT DO YOU UNDERSTAND MEEE
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
found back this thing from 2021
putting the addition directly onto the og post since nobody reblogs the full version:
'about this i feel a few people have misunderstood what i drew it for, my tags didnt help at all for sure and it is just one doodle, but i didnt made it as 'i'm questioning my sexuality and need to know what specific labels i am'. i've been well aware of what my whole deal is for years.
this was a silly doodle i drew as a recreation of all the thoughts and questions i had that went 'what is attraction? what is romance and sexual and platonic and friendship and something else entirely? how and why do we need to define feelings and relationships so much? why do people act the way they do, date the way they do, marry the way they do, live the way they do? how much does your own culture and time influence the way you do those things, the way you think you should act and feel? how much does amatonormativity influence and impact all of us? and why are some people so resistant against the idea of questioning and living out of these norms?' among many others things.
again, i drew years ago. i didnt want to post it because it felt unnecessarily personal and because people are insufferable about queerness.
EDIT: pls for the love of my sanity reblog the full post instead.'
#every now and then i go 'what is attraction and how does it work and do i experience it?' then read/listen to allos and demis and grays'#experience with it all and go 'yeah- huh. i dont- no- huh- is that how people really work? what'#every time i feel like i get it i get so confused with new infos. wish could understand people better.#mightdeletelateeer#EDITEDIT: reblog this version or the full version pls. i cant delete this in a way that matters anymore. i expected only 3 or 5 people to#leave a like and that wouldve been it. it broke containment and its annoying.
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
continued rook-lucanis sketches from the last week or so <3
#if it looks like i only draw lucanis its untrue. im actually cutting out a lot of rook backstory specific doodles. ..#<- guy who can only draw either her rook or lucanis rn#the other companions i will get to you. neve especially lord in heaven#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#rook#tyche laidir#spite#my art#dragon age#dav spoilers#anyways anyone else really think that rialto bay is just so romantic with how it bridges antiva and rivain i personally cant stop thinking!#i need to have this game i need to understand what becomes of rook and him. a woman who loves the sea so dearly that lucanis suddenly#cannot bear to take her away from it. lucanis who could not imagine his life outside the crows and how could she ask he leave illario behin#two people so obsessed with their job and their lives that even their endearments relate to it#two people who love their birthrights. which one of them is supposed to be able to give that up?#desperately need something bittersweet AND BEFORE I JINX IT I DONT MEAN IN A TRAITOR WAY.#there is a reason i named their playlist pregrieving
314 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tropical Heat ☀️
The new natlan characters are growing on me, they do still look like pkm trainers for me which i dont hate but haha it doesnt feel too gshn. Apart from the obvious common concern, Im still looking forward to explore natlan, maybe only for the fact that a good chunk of it is inspired by america as a continent and the environments might be insp closer to home for me. We’ll see!
#natlan#genshin impact#genshin#idraw#i want their names#is the perfect way to understand their insp#only shark girl ppl have point out she might hawaiin#dendro boy might be mayan?#because of his claymore#i cant tell with geo girl tho#leaks are to be taken with a giant block of salt so i will wait#impressed they didnt leak these three
352 notes
·
View notes
Text
EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
122 notes
·
View notes
Text
for my money, labru is head and shoulders above other ships involving them simply due to the unmatched yap potential, i imagine them feeding off each other's energy like they're slipstreaming in mario kart until they start going fast enough to break the sound barrier
#dungeon meshi#dunmesh spoilers#labru#the Compounding Yap Effect#thinking about kabru wanting to understand the value of monsterhood despite how much pain they caused him ...#laios wanting to understand the value of humanity despite how much pain they caused him ...#none of this even mentioning how much kabru needs a person like laios to spur his character growth#kabru is a schemy schemer who schemes and it's one of his best qualities#but it's also what gets him killed over and over again in an attempt to get closer to laios and co when none of his usual tricks worked#it took until the absolute 11th hour where kabru HAD to choose#between potentially unlocking the secrets of the dungeon or giving it up to the canaries and losing his chance forever#if kabru had fallen back on what he knew he would have killed laios then and never got what he wanted#laios forcing kabru to be honest with his feelings#(a feeling kabru had buried so deep he was barely aware he had it in the first place)#is what finally gets laios to stop and listen#and he finally gives kabru enough of a reason to trust him and make kabru stop the canaries and give the party time to escape#and it's ONLY then that kabru is able to get what he wants#legit i cant imagine a more fulfilling ending for kabru than getting to directly engage his interest in a way that directly helps people#with someone who both needs wants and sincerely appreciates his skills#literally riding off into the sunset gay ass ending im#im going to be sick#day 28 being normal about them
150 notes
·
View notes
Text
had some thoughts about certain characters having halos with specific looks to them, so i drew it.
//explanation(?) in the tags if your curious vv
#ok the tags are going to be a mountain of explanation im sorry#how it works is only mistress' can see them unless its a character that is able to break the fourth wall or understand the situation#maria and capella have the same ones as their mothers#maria's moon is upside to resemble horn yknow nina the wicked etc etc#capella's is meant to resemble a crown#capella's is also small and incomplete due to her still being young#she will eventually grow into a full large blinding sun halo trust#katerina is an eclipse because unlike the sun or the moon it doesnt give off light in the same way and blah blah blah blind you get it#however its the closest to a real halo if that means much to you#clara's is scattered not whole and the most inconsistent of the 4#her's changes size depending on emtion and actually cant be seen by the other mistress' it can only be seen by 4th wall breaking characters#if you have made it here and are wondering why katerina and capella look like that i like to fuse the p1 and p2 designs... sorry#also if this is extremly ooc im sorry i havent finished clara route i just thought this concept was cool..#clara saburova#clara the changeling#clara pathologic#katerina saburova#maria kaina#capella olgimskaya#capella pathologic#pathologic art#pathologic#pathologic 2#pathologic fanart#my art
94 notes
·
View notes
Note
RE: Your post on the AU of Jimmy being in the cockpit rather than Curly.
I think that Curly would think that Jimmy was reaping what he had sown, but in a way would feel a twisted sense of relief that Jimmy was brought down by his own actions rather than Curly himself having to be the "executioner" in the situation, so to speak.
With "taking responsibility" and the fix-it mentality that he and Jimmy share being the overarching theme, compounded with Jimmy flat out insinuating that all of his crimes on the Tulpar will be "Curly's tragedy" in that one scene, I think Curly would almost find comfort in the irony that the choice was forcibly taken away from him. Which in itself is messed up, but it might be a bit cathartic. There's an interesting polarizing dynamic within Curly's relationship to his own responsibility in that it's his greatest burden and the thing he, too, avoids the most.
I don't think Curly would find any relief in this actually. While Curly didn't/doesn't like the responsibility he had, he defiantly doesn't avoid it, he just goes about it in a weird way.
A thing I noticed is that its less about taking responsibility with Curly and really what that responsibility meant objectively and then subjectively to Curly. The leniency that he applies to Jimmy also applies a bit to the others as well. He thinks his responsibility is more towards keeping the peace and things in order more than dolling out punishment. He has even more choices to make and responsibilities as he literally has to make sure they survive/ration long enough to be saved. Or figure out how to save them himself. The correct issue with Curly and responsibility is the prioritization in his head. He sees the big picture and prioritizes that. He doesn't notice the little things that he should but it's not a active dismissal, perhaps not even conscious despite how dismissive he seemed. He takes too much responsibility, espcially in regards to Jimmy, and I think this situation is when he realizes that is also a bad thing as he can't "fix" all of his wrongs.
I think he'd regret not making a choice, because in the end this happened because he wouldn't directly choose who to comfort and help. He tried to help both and ended up doing nothing for either and letting Jimmy fuck them all over. In this scenario/au he's thinking about all the times he let Jimmy inadvertently make his choice, and how he chose to let it happen. He regrets all of it and would be so bitter that he was giving his choice up for so long. He chose wrong and it affected everyone. The only thing he'd find cathartic is the fucked up truth it will never happen again, not with Jimmy at least.
But he's not happy he's getting joy from that. I think it's a point not a single character other than Jimmy is depicted at deriving joy from another's pain. Even Swansea is being more sarcastic when he cheers on Curly about crashing the ship and ending his sobriety. He's happy Jimmy was forced to take responsibility, but this? He wanted him to learn a lesson and do something with himself, this is hollow in a way it's just embittering. Jimmy didn't get what he wanted, he can be happy about that but no one else did. This isn't justice or closure for Anya, he's stuck in a place he was so desperate to leave with even more pressure on his shoulders. Daisuke is just a kid and Swansea doesn't deserve this after all his year making himself a better man.
Like in his sections, Curly is preoccupied thinking about all the responsibilities he has, taking on things he shouldn't have to and trying to keep the peace when he doesn't have peace in his own mind.
#i think the idea that Curly did nothing is both true and also not for he did something but it was nothing in the bigger picture for Anya#he put himself between her and Jimmy but that just prolongs the ineviabiliy of their interactions when he cant hence the seen where she tol#Jimmy. He thought he was helping by being honest but it just made Jimmy panic harder and flip on him because Jimmy doesnt plan like Curly o#anyone else does for that matter hes so short term. Curly also is in a way but its also hes concerned with the long term to far away#either way he did nothing for Anya directly which is the problem as hes not direct in social situations while Jimmy is overly direct to put#it lightly. I think the irony is more so in the fact that he understand the dead pixel now and can't choose not to see it. rather than any#thing with Jimmy choosing to do this. It's like the point is he has to kinda be the person he was to Jimmy but to deserving people and#realizing how bad their dyanmic was and not to fall into the same placating behaviors and maybe prioritize his choices because in a way Jim#already took away his choice by doing literally anything he did in the story because the only choice would have been to punish Jimmy atp bu#hoped he could find a better option backfired then and it still backfired now#ask#enigminho#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ride 793: The palms of their hands
Pag 1
1: Holding hands with you rival
Pag 2
1: Grasping tightly the gratitude
They're moving forward... to the future!!
Pag 3
1: 1500m left until the mountain line!!
Pag 4
2: You're kidding....
He's coming....?
He's getting closer?
3: So odd, and yet I thought I had left him behind completely
This is “three times”, isn't it?
5: He's coming
And moreover
Pag 5
1: He's doing it while singing!!
Even though Hakogaku's Manami had left him so much behind in a moment...
Mountain King is getting closer!!
He's not giving up!!
The distance is closing!!
That's right ♪ I know ♪ If you do this ♪
Pag 6
1: The princess' wish ♪
2: Will come true ♪
3: Mountain King is amazing!! He's humming a tune!!
I heard of this, Mountain King becomes faster when he hums a tune!!
What, amazing!
The magic singing!!
I'll try singing too next time I'll climb!
4: No
It's not magic
5: For you, that “song”
Pag 7
1: it's a device to activate your power!!
2: Like a car's key
3: To carry people and luggage up a mountain road a vehicle needs both a sturdy body, small parts
4: and a powerful engine
5: For bikes, the “body”
Pag 8
1: Practice, repetition, recovery, determination, challenges- everything
2: piles up!!
3: Only someone who has worked
4: tirelessly, without rest....
Pag 9
1: Could get to this position of the mountain stage on the Inter High's first day!!
2: And he can even keep up with my “three times”!!
4: I see, so that's what it means
You piled everything up during this past year...
Pag 10
1: Ouch
2: Ah, damn, I pressed something weird
Ah....
3: Oh, I have a message
Ah, it's from Sakamichi-kun
Ah... it's from three months ago..
Hehehe, ops
4: What is it, what is it...? “Do you remember? The promise we made on the last day?”
Oh... I remember
“We said 'let's race for the mountain stage on the first day next time'”
Ah.. we did, we did
6: “Are we still on for that?”
8: “Of course”
Pag 11
1: To protect your promise with me!!
Wait, Manami-kun!!
Princess ♪...!!
2: Sakamichi-kun!!
3: Manami-kun!!
Pag 12
1: Mountain King caught up!!
He caught Hakogaku's Manami, who had attacked and opened the gap!!
2: He's not surrendering!!
Neither of them is surrendering!!
1200m left until the mountain line!!
Pag 13
1: Now another race...
2: starts!!
4: They're both taking the curve
5: while colliding against each other!!
Pag 14
1: Aaaaaa
Soooreeee
I won't surrender!!
2: They're still neck and neck!!
3: Amazing!
Pag 15
1: From the inner side!!
2: Sooreeee
Manami fell back for a moment and then forced his way forward!!
They hit each other!!
5: The trees are getting lower again
6: One more time...
Pag 16
1: Let's go, “three times”!!
Pag 17
2: Manami used the wind and accelerated again!!
Incredible, what's that!
3: What about Mountain King!?
Pag 18
1: Musical note shaped wings!?
Pag 19
1: Aaaaaaaa
2: Amazing
3: It's just like you
4: You were so desperate to catch me that you unconsciously used the wind to accelerate
5: Interesting!!
Pag 20
1: Mountain King is clinging to him!! I thought Manami had attacked but
Manami didn't get away!!
He caught up with such a weird acceleration!?
Amazing!
2: Maybe your singing is something more than a key
3: Ahhhh
5: These past three years have been fun
Huh!?
Pag 21
1: I'm glad you were here for the past three years
3: Huh... ah!!
4: Thank you
Pag 22
2: Such a close battle like this, such a once-in-a-lifetime battle like this, it could only have been with you
3: Yeah... yeah!!
“The past three years”....!!
4: No, that, I should be the one saying that, really!!
5: That's right... this is my match against Manami-kun...
Pag 23
1: Let's go until the mountain line
2: Let's give everything we have
3: Let's make the most of every second of the time we have left!!
5: 1km until the end....
Pag 24
1: It's the final climb!!
Pag 25
1: Yeah!!
Pag 26
3: Th-thank god I made it in time...
This... I couldn't miss this today
4: Sangaku said that
5: “It will be the culmination of the past three years”
#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#yowamushi pedal manga#ride 793#no im not crying i just have 793 chapter of yowapeda in my eyes ;A;#watanabe please stop reminding me that this manga is gonna end!!! I dont wanna hear it!!#and neither does onoda!! Look at his desperate face when he realizes that that's his last race against manami!!!#excuse meeee ;A; i cant do this#so imma focus on the nice things#like onoda sining that 'the princess' wish comes true' right when he sees manami#bc THATS HIS WISH MANAMI IS HIS WISH AND ITS FINALLY COME TRUE#or how cute Manami is in the flashback page and the way he jumps up to reply to onoda#like the only thing missing there was him adding 'it's a date' to that text#bc thats what it is okay its obvious#honestly i understand why onoda is so scared that this is his last chance with manami#given that he had to wait 3 months for a single text lmao#he's scared he wont hear from manami at all once they wont be able to meet at the ih - and he's right#manami please reply to your phone onoda needs you#im babbling to not focus on the last pages bc theyre making me too emotional and I CANNOT HANDLE THIS#if i think about this manga ending imma melt in a puddle of tears okay#so ill just focus on sansaka being canon for now :')
87 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you ever thing about the comparing of scars scene in Agatha All Along?
How, in all Agathas 300+ years of existing, it is probably the first time she has just chilled out with her peers?
All other times, except maybe with her first coven, when engaging with witches, it's with the sole purpose of manipulating them into stealing their power.
Yet here this sad sack of a witch is, snort laughing with her ex as she shows how she got stabbed with a knitting needle.
It's such a tiny moment, yet it is also probably the first time she has felt any kind of kinship with someone outside of Rio or Nicky.
Do you think about her uncertainty as the other witches laugh at her story? How she is waiting for the other shoe to drop?
Did she have this bond with some of the Witches in her first coven before her mother would come in and stomp all over it?
An instinctual moment where she waits for Evanora to come in and punish her for being so frivolous, being so damned.
This was probably the first time she experienced community without punishment.
There was probably the tiniest spark of hope that maybe she could finally belong.
Then hours later, in swoops her mother and takes it all away from her again.
Because I do. I think about it a lot, and it breaks my heart.
#tw abuse#agatha all along#agatha all along spoilers#agatha harkness#rio vidal#i think this is what makes it so fucked up#the way agatha punishes rio for nicky#and in doing so hurts not only rio but herself in the process#because they gravitate towards each other no matter where they are#yet the trauma she experienced as a child stains her relationships as an adult#she does to rio what her mother does to her#hurts her over and over#she cant forgive her#she doesnt even really understand what forgivness would look like#then in her final confrontation with rio she takes the first steps#that kiss was absolution for both of them in a fucked up twisted way#at least for the hurt they caused each other#it was also her first step on tje road of forgiving herself for nicky#her first step towards personal growth in a very long time
64 notes
·
View notes
Text
[id in alt]
some idw redraws
#i spent way too long trying to figure out sonic's quills#monotoneart#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#sonic idw#ive read the first 2 volumes of idw so far. theyre such a delight :]#i do kinda rant below about my 2 sticking points so far (specifically about team dark in the metal virus arc) so uh. sorry#omega not caring about shadow when he gets zombotted kinda bugs me ngl#like bro that's ur teammate yall did so much together do u not care abt any of that.#sega give omega more personality than just ''kill eggman robots''#and the way the others talk about shadow and say ''oh he doesnt care im surprised he cares''#...well sonic says that and i... guess shadow could come off that way to him. ehhhhh.#i would think sonic would understand his deal though.#''oh more people saved means less zombots to deal with'' what!! it's more than that!!!#guy made a promise to protect the planet!!! that would include the people!!!#more people saved means just that: more people saved!!!#he's a ''the means justify the ends'' kinda character but that don't mean he's heartless#rouge girl u should know better!! you're like one of the only people he talks to relatively regularly!!#takes a deep breath. ok im good now. everything else about idw so far is cool. i love whisper n tangle.#cant wait to finally get to surge and kit#OH YEAH ALSO i watched wild robot and it was so extremely good. i cried <3
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
You took the blame for me. ...Give me a break. [...] Besides, it's been four years now since Zhang Teng's death. Why are you still hung up on those solved problems? What are you trying to do? Who says they're solved?
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#uservid#userspring#userrain#userjjessi#userspicy#*cajedit#*gif#i hope i never have to gif the bar again (i will be giffing the bar again) bc this lighting is so difficult#however im kinda obsessed with how this one turned out...rainbow....#also i do love chen yi lying to ai di about his gang problems so that he has an excuse for ai di to talk to him#and also.....the fact that ai di cant say no. like actually this scene broke my heart#the way ai di keeps trying to create a distance. expects chen yi to be the one to initiate distance#but instead chen yi is constantly seeking him out. trusting him only...like the way things used to be#and ai di is so so guarded but the part of him that loves chen yi is always the loudest no matter how much it hurts#they're both confused and hurt and missing the other#& chen yi is desperate to get to know who ai di really is while ai di is fighting to keep his walls up twice as hard as he was before#ai di cant LOOK AT HIM#but chen yi understands his body language and understands the unsaid....im insane#it's really good....they are soooo good
103 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is somewhat of a vent post & something i said i would not do again but has been plaguing me enough that i think getting it out might feel better. so. has anydoggy else been. Baffled and upset by nora sakavic’s refusal to speak on how terribly aftg has treated its characters of color? with the author of the series coming back with a new book and starting up on her online activity again, and questions of what she’d change about aftg bubbling up, it’s particularly glaring to me that we are all playing this very long game of pretend where we ignore how badly the non-white cast has been treated & her lack of thoughts on it
and i understand not wanting to bring up nicky and thea because people pick on her for it. i’m not trying to discredit nora sakavic’s terrible history of getting harrassed online by aftg fans. but i think it is very cynical, and it is very juvenile, and most of all very cruel, that she gets to ignore the very real ways the books have set up these characters to be hated. i think it’s obvious why the characters who get the most hate are the only canonical characters of color, and i think we do not get to treat this like a deliberate decision on the fandom’s part when the books have put these same characters in degrading and embarrassing and terrible positions in the first place. aftg is not a story about nice characters with clean pasts, but there is a very specific nastiness to the only characters of color being a brown man who sexually harasses and later assaults the main character, a black woman whose only scene is her lashing out at her love interest after being ignored for the first two books, and the japanese villain who gets maybe two lines of complexity before he goes back to being a terrible person. the white cast, in comparison, while not at all free from flaws, are never shown to commit mindless evil; all of their actions are ultimately justified. the book goes out of its way to give them concession after concession. we know exactly who to side with, because aftg tells us who these people are. does nicky’s assault ever get addressed in the books? does riko’s reasoning to be the way that he is ever gets more than briefly aluded to? is thea reserved even a shred of humanity or grace in her one scene?
anyway. it’s been years of talking about this and the fandom has been constantly hostile to criticism in this regard, and more recently any criticism at all, and it’s Grating to be on the other side of this discussion. it’s exhausting to know that in ten years we do not get even an acknowledgment besides the author saying she will not answer questions about nicky and thea anymore. it’s upsetting and it’s ugly and i wish no one had to talk about this again, but we do because what i thought was common sense has been washed away by a sudden influx of no-nuance adoration for the trilogy. basically i hope we all explode
#this has been so upsetting to notice but 🥹whatever#there is a different kind of bitterness to thinking about how ten years have passed#and we are getting new content that changes and maybe even rectifies many of the ways we see and interact w aftg#and none of it not a bit of it addresses the racism#how it’s been ten years and the only thing we really get to show it is a book about a ship between two white men the fandom came up with#after seeing them be Suggested to interact in canon#i understand not wanting to hurt nora sakavics feelings by asking her about this#but imagine how tired we are. Imagine how tired we are#do you know how bad it feels to read through nicky’s worst moments in aftg#and know that he was written this way because he looks like me?#do you understand how exhausting it all is. can you imagine?#the fandom has been so quick to undo the criticism fans of colors have been making since day one#and for what. for what! my doves. for what?#have we come out of it any greater? have we done anything but lie to ourselves?#and anyway this is not some mindless pessimism#this is not me telling you that aftg is bad and you cant love it; cant have it mean anything to you#this is me saying that when we acknowledge these things it makes us better readers and better people#nora sakavic if you are reading this from whatever hellhole america you find yourself in#grabs you by the shoulders. This is not the end#this is not something to sit back and feel bad about#you have opened the floodgates of hell with tsc. kick the door in and release a revised version of aftg#there is a real material way for you to make this better. it is possible and it will not kill you#i would read a revised aftg. my mutuals would. many many many many fans would#making mistakes is not just a human right its a human inevitability#but we do not have to let ourselves get defined by them. We can do hard things#lets go of nora sakavics shoulders. anyway. where were we#aftg#txt#tsc
174 notes
·
View notes
Note
Could you explain your position on Shallura? Since Allura was established as a teenager when she started dating Lance and Shiro was very clearly an adult. I can understand the bi shiro headcannon but the shallura thing worries me
i am going to remind yall that i have been in this fandom since 2016. and in the early seasons, allura was not established as a teenager. in fact she was coded as older, as closer to shiro's age -- there was a specific divide between her and the younger paladins that she did not have with shiro. they made her younger (both explicitly and in mannerisms) as the show went on. and i do not give a fuck about voltron like...post s4 and i didn't even watch s7-8. so like. especially with older fics, im going to enjoy shallura.
#also this is less relevant and i was going to put it in the main post but i cant find the words for it#but i found your last sentence kind of condescending. “the shallura thing worries me” as if i am your little project and things arent going#to plan. as if you are the Knower Of All Things and i am straying from my path lol. twas odd#and this is a controversial thing to say i know it but like#we take fandom way too seriously. if someone decides in fic to make two characters the same age to ship them or whatever. do we really need#to get the torches and pitchforks. like i can understand discomfort when people ship like shiro and pidge or something but. also. i feel#like you can just block and move on?? like i dont ship sheith bc they are brothers. to me. but also i dont think sheithers should be#harassed or any dumb shit like that. i think its so so whatever like theyre Lines man theyre moving lines#at the same time i understand that peoples headcanons can be reflective of their worldviews (like when racism/transphobia/sexism shine#through someone's headcanons/characterization) but how much scrutiny is too much? when do we get to remember that fandom is a place to#work with the FICTIONAL? where you can change details without consequence? i saw a fic where keith was the older sibling and shiro was the#younger once. it was a good fic. how come we can play with ages but only when the Fandom Council approves?#i guess this is a really long and clumsy way to say like. you do not own the fandom nor do you get to dictate my work. and while there#is always room for necessary criticism please also think critically before you post your criticism#anyways#rant#ask
170 notes
·
View notes
Text
Quick piece of @luluyamofficial 's character Lucelia + a 30 second speedpaint!
#my art#digital art#gift art#artists on tumblr#i hope you dont mind being mentioned!#stretches#anyway theres something that clicks in me with these characters#It feels tricky to describe#Because these characters are so personal and symbolic to the artist and I've only recently begun looking into them#I cant claim to fully know and understand them#I feel some sort of odd way saying something like that#but I do love is seeing this way of expression through characters that align in ways that are similar to how I operate with my own#These stories and characters crafted to be reflective of the artist's life and experiences and self perception#I love to see these little pieces- the glimpses of understanding for whats being conveyed#I love understanding and there are things I believe I do understand in some ways as they pertain to mental health and the relationship#to the self#but Understanding is secondary to enjoying seeing the expression of lived experience#coughs#anywhey. i hope you like the piece!#I've been turning these guys around in my head for a few days and have felt compelled to show appreciation for what I see#the general genre and type of work isnt what I've found myself drawn to in the past so ive been enjoying the Brain Expansion#bugs#roaches#cockroaches
96 notes
·
View notes