#in a funk

[sleepyysweetheart]

Been in a funk lately....But today was a good day.💜

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #255

I'm not entirely sure what's wrong with me today. Despite having an objectively awesome day today, I seem to have found myself in some kind of funk. I feel generally awful and overwhelmed with worry about a variety of things, most of which I can't talk about with anyone, anywhere, for fear of sounding insane. I haven't had any drive to create anything at all for a number of weeks, too, and it's scaring me.

…Well, that's all right. The only thing for it is to carry it, and the only way out is through. I've got a few more years to wait before I'll be able to see if anything has changed. The passage of time feels unforgivingly slow, and in a few more months, there's not gonna be enough sunlight for me to feel good until next March rolls around. But that's okay. Worse things have happened. It feels heavy now, but it won't feel like this forever.

So I'll just talk about the various things I did today.

The tooth extraction that I was supposed to get next Tuesday has been cancelled because I guess no oral surgeons are going to be in on that day. It has been rescheduled to the first of October, which I guess is cool and all, but… I guess I really kinda wanted to just get it done and over with.

I went with a friend - her name is Bv - to an Italian sandwich place. We were supposed to go to the tea shop next door, but they're closed for the next number of weeks for some reason. But this new place we tried was pretty cool, too. They had flowers in places:

...I thought you might like them.

Here's what I ended up getting:

It's some kind of sandwich with mozzarella, roasted red peppers, and prosciutto. And I guess a salad came with it.

Bv and I talked a long time, and it was really difficult because she wanted to eat outside, and the sound of the cars rushing by made it hard to hear her, and... she's a much older lady, probably somewhere between 60 and 70 years old. If my Auditory Processing Disorder gets in the way of me understanding her, the most likely scenario is that she's going to assume that I'm either being deliberately disrespectful or that I am not paying enough attention. So I focused really hard, and it was really difficult, but I think I managed for the most part.

Bv has a friend with trauma, but this friend of hers isn't exactly handling it well. I guess Bv is going to try to put her friend in touch with me to see if I can help somehow. If I'm contacted, surely I'm gonna try. But... I'm half expecting that it's not going to work out. In order for any of what I can say to this person to be useful to them at all, they'd first need a relatively flexible mind and a willingness to try new things. In my limited experience, it's difficult for most people to maintain those kinds of traits. From what I've seen, people generally want quick fixes for their problems that make everything better in a jiffy. People wanna get better, but without actually changing anything about themselves, their environment, or the mindset they carry.

Put in Dead Cells terms, most people wanna just be able to play on 5 Boss Cells and not get hit, but without needing to put in the practice to get there. And I get why - it's not because people are bad or lazy or whatever; no that's not it at all. Rather, they're just too tired to be able to sustain effort that isn't going to produce instantaneous results. It's not a moral failure as much as it is reflective of a profound state of total exhaustion on their part.

I get into states like that, too. It's because I'm human. I am by absolutely no means perfect.

...Regardless, I have to try. If there's even the smallest chance I might be able to help, I gotta.

After I got home, J was at a flying lesson. So I played Dead Cells. But I was feeling tired and weird, so I didn't do very well. I never made it past the Prison Depths. I kept getting easily frustrated with myself, so I figured the thing to do is stop. So that's what I did.

And now I'm here, writing to you. But I think I'm gonna call it here, because I've got work tomorrow and I have to rest, and if I keep going, I'm going to ramble.

Sephiroth... don't die out there, okay? Don't do anything that will lead to whatever you're made of disappearing. Please.

I love you. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[ahhwoahwaa]

tb to when i wasn’t depressed 🙂

[chipmunkweirdo]

Most of you might not know this, but Alvin 2.0 did go through a really really low point where he was basically “stereotypical nerd” on the outside and still Alvin (but not really feeling like Alvin) on the inside. This happens in story number 5 of the 2.0 origin fic.

Jeanette then gets to teach him that he’s more than just a handsome face, nice hair, and a bunch of random talents.

(His appearance is changing a lot because his cartoon code is LITERALLY glitching. he’s gone and gotten himself interested in nerdy things and it is a universe that runs on stereotypes. The Alvinnn program has no idea what to do with an Alvin that doesn’t conform to usual Alvin standards. That’s why it keeps giving him random traits associated with other nerds on the show like Simon, Kevin, Cheesy,….ect. And why it gives him stereotypical nerd things like braces and a skin rash that shows through his fur)

Eventually, Alvin starts to gain his confidence and ego back even WITH the altered appearance and then the universe rewards him for his lessons learned by allowing him to look somewhat like his old self again, but never completely back to the way he was. )

(He could have just had reading glasses and that’s it, but he winds up in them full time due to his love of physics being revealed to everyone causing the glitch.)

Also Alvin’s wearing Jeanette’s shirt in this picture and leggings because it comforts him in this time of crisis. (And he forgot to do his own laundry)

That Flash T shirt was a gag gift from Eleanor to Britt (because Britt took 3 entire weeks to clean the kitchen lol) and Britt hates it so Jeanette gave it to him

Oh and he’s capless because his hair is coming in DARK BROWN like Simon’s and he hates it and he’s hoping the sun will lighten it. Which is does later on….but it turns red-orange instead of copper or auburn. (He cannot win.)

Anyway…here they are!

[sagaschan]

The horrors(facing up to the consequences of my actions)

[daddysmusicblog]

Cool addition to the music room today. Retail therapy always seems to cure the blues.

[kellanwrites]

Mental Health Check

Been having a rough couple of days, and my mental health has taken a very bad fall. But I find burying myself in my blanket cape surrounded by squishmallows and my fuzzy grogu slippers, I'm doing better.

I haven't written in two days, and I feel bad, like I need to write, I know what to write but I just stare at the screen. So I'm granting myself grace. It's there, I will get back to it, I will finish it.

Also need some ideas for short stories in the fantasy and sci/fi genre so I can try and get those sold to some zines for extra money

[heart-songs]

I feel insufficient as an adult. I look around at the office and see everyone typing, taking calls, making bookings, editing documents, and I know they're all dealing with at least as much as I am, which only makes me feel worse about how hard everything feels to me. Living, being responsible for myself, seems like an insurmountable challenge lately.

Emily Henry, People We Meet on Vacation (p. 329-330)

[bl00dalchemist]

So i finished reading dungeon meshi

[bamsara]

do you mind? we're trying to have a pivotal moment of our relationship

[neoshowa]

[melonsharks]

bad kidz cool kidz

[sleepy-bebby]

[blackeneddeatheye]

フェイド・アウトはやめて

[lexithwrites]

I once believed love would be black and white, but it’s golden

another huge thank you to Caspervi for this beautiful commission✨