#hi im coming out of my art funk

[bamsara]

do you mind? we're trying to have a pivotal moment of our relationship

[dreamsndmadness]

hellooo!!!(sorry in advance for all of the rambling)

first of all, im absolutely gushing from all of the soft moments in ch9: feyd nearly crying from being cared for, paul helping feyd with his nightmares, and feyd being protective/caring in both the breakfast scene and throughout the spice field inspections :333. It was all VERY adorable and paul finally being unhesitating about his sexual relationship with feyd and them communicating (both implicitly with paul reading feyds body language and explicitly with paul making feyd ask for what he wants), it's all very rewarding in general :)

Also, ive just been thinking nonstop about all the stuff going on with paul. so, my first theory about pauls exhaustion was because he was staying up because of feyds nightmares waking up but then i re-read it and saw paul was tired even before they shared a bed, and then i remembered that lack of sleep is a common symptom of pregnancy so thats my leading theory rn, that OR paul is staying up late reading lol. im also so interested in what paul and lady jessica are plotting, they mentioned controlling feyd and learning more about him in the beginning and then theres the date palm scene. I remember in the movies that date palms are definitely on arrakis so my first thought was that feyd was being a paranoid little freak about it but then i thought lady jessica might be trying to assess pauls health or something?? its safe to say im super hyped for the paul POV

sorry about the length and INCREDIBLY half formed theories

( •̀ - •́ ) ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

The wonderful bowl100!!

I love your questions ☺️. Omg yay!!! I’m so glad you liked the chapter. I always have a crisis of confidence when I post new chapters 🙃. Yesss. The softness. Feyd cutting the fruit and making sure Paul eats was one of my favorite moments from the chapter. It’s so hard to write moments of tenderness from him without it seeming out of character. And then he can never be honest with himself about why he’s doing things or why certain things are making him feel certain ways. Man. This guy. Feyd used his words FINALLY!!! And yes!! I’m so happy for Paul. Starting to enjoy himself. It’s so important.

Okee so here’s what I can say. You aren’t wrong about any of your guesses per say. It’s been such a joy to write from Paul’s pov because he’s a much more emotionally evolved person so I can write him being like “ah yes. This is making me feel this way!”. So one of the biggest reasons for Paul’s exhaustion is that he has been having dreams. Some of them good, some of them pretty disturbing. And yes, we will be seeing them in the next chapter. He is also (not really a spoiler cause it’s in the tags) pregnant! Another big reason! That’s going to be a plot point of the next chapter as well.

Lol the date palm scene!! You’re right on both counts. Feyd is being a paranoid little freak. He’s like “they are speaking in code!!” No you weirdo, they are talking about date palms. However, I am going to give him a little credit because he did pick up on the weird energy of the scene which is basically due to Jessica trying to draw Paul out of his funk. She’s worried about him and thinks he’s not doing well, and she’s trying to cheer him up and also trying to subtly (probably too subtly) signal to Feyd to do the same. Which he kinda gets! Cause he then invites Paul to come with him on inspection and Jessica is like “thank fucking god you are so fucking dense”. To Feyd. Not Paul. Paul can do no wrong in Jessica’s eyes lol.

Anyway! All of your theories were pretty spot on and perceptive!!! Sorry it took so long for me to respond 😔. I’ve been sick this week and it’s been a struggle. I have most of Paul’s chapter finished (it’s sitting at 5,500 words right now 😀). And I hope to edit and post tomorrow!!

Thank you as always for your lovely questions. I look at your wonderful art every day 🥹.

All the best 🫶.

[wifiwuxians]

quick aside for my moment of befuddlement because ive always misunderstood the idiom "like a house on fire" LOL. i always thought it was a passive aggressive way of saying "dude, we would destroy each other lets not talk" so when i first read that I was like ??? context??? doesnt match??? did they misunderstand the idiom? DID I? then i googled it and you're right lol its a nice thing. (tho now i wanna put that in a fic bc i think that would be a delightful misunderstanding for characters to have). IM SO GLAD I MADE UR FUNK SLIGHTLY LESS FUNKY THO. you're great and you're super sweet ;w; if i had more self-confidence, i would definitely jump at the opportunity to befriend. maybe when i get more gutsy

BACK TO THE SONG LAN HATE THO. im sorry, im still in shock. just HOW. also..... how is my interpretation of them not the common one??? again, i stay so strictly to my lane i didnt know other lanes existed and i definitely dont want to hear about it bc i think song lan hate would hurt my heart. it already hurts my heart sometimes when i see xue yang hate and XUE YANG DESERVES IT. literally i despair at media literacy sometimes. i absolutely cannot understand how anyone consumed the same content as we did and decided to be mean to song lan.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY A FAVORITE ARTIST, DUDE. have you fucking SEEN your stuff?!? like, are you as blind as xiao xingchen? (my sweetie, may he forever regain his sight). your art is GORGEOUS. absolutely worthy of being a fav artist and i am sure im not the only one. for starters, your pieces always have a depth to them that sets them in a scene so freaking beautifully EVEN WHEN THERES NO BG or even in your more simplified styles. when you come out with a "silly phone doodle of xue yang", i see the freaking SKILL needed to make THAT adorable lil gremlin as just a 'silly doodle'. like BRO, youre so skilled that i think youve lost depth of how good an artist you really are. i wish i was smarter with art words so i could tell you in color theory exactly why your colors are so beautiful but im dumb and all i know is "color pretty" BUT SINCE I CAN PORTRAY STUFF WITH WORDS SOMETIMES i'll try to just express how your colors alone can evoke emotion and tell a story, how you use the contrast to make your art pop off the page, the way that the colors caress a scene and show so much more inside. its beautiful, your art is beautiful, i can look at a piece for such a long time and still find interesting details that make me smile. oki i'll stop beng weird now but like NEVER DOUBT YOU'RE FREAKING SKILL BRO. (shit i didnt even get to how your animations just break my brain oeuihgo i love)

lolololol dw abt telling me about the cannibalisms piece, i look Specifically disrespectfully at that one. not big into cannibalism but damn dude, there is a Mood to that piece and frankly, something that messed up sort of suits them on their worst days euorhgioeurh i like me a fluff au or a fix-it fic but damn those two can get Dark.

My otps are often rarepairs ;A; i never do it on purpose, im normally jumping headfirst into a more popular ship but then i just See the potential in two other lil guys and im like.... holdup, wait is no one else seeing those two??? AM I THE ONLY ONE WITNESSING THIS? (yes, yes i am). And the hyperfixation begins and its just me alone at a bar with no bartenders so i make my own food. but im a weird lil guy so my cocktails are always strange and im alone at the bar lol. tbh songxue is one of my LESS rarepair rarepairs. like... theres actually fics that i didnt write for them LOL. (there was one fandom where there were 40 fics for a ship and i wrote all 40. i am a sad and lonely lil loser lol)

(scuse me one of my fav artists said they think i'd write my otp well, i can die happy oaierhgoeirh i actually do write ff for songxue but hahaha im still just a silly anon but its rlly good to know that the person i think characterizes them best in the fandom (that ive seen) thinks i would do a good job with them aoeghuihr thankyou for the high praise, i guarantee i dont deserve it)

(sometimes i've wondered if the reason you draw/write them so well is bc you dont ship them? weird take but like, shippers have shipping goggles right? we see what we wanna see a lot of the time. but since you just think they'd be neat standing next to each other (much agree), you actually put thought into their characterizations and personality instead of just "this is how they'd F*CK" or smth similar. and bc the personalities and stuff mean way more to me than sexy stuff (thats the whole reason i ship them! their personalities!) the fact that even your crack stuff has such a good basis in who they are as people makes your content just so good. whereas sometimes i see content by shippers (no disrespect meant, everyone ships in their own way), its very actively ooc, usually for a kink fill, and im just... but what abt their personalities? what abt the whole reason i think they'd be good together if given the chance?! WHAT ABOUT THEM? and then u come around drawing them like that and i just wish more people portrayed them the way you do. this isnt meant as like an anti-smut thing, i like smut, its just that sometimes pwp is just two strangers who happen to have the character names of my blorbos and literally nothing else in common and theyre my BLORBOS. more power to people who like that stuff, i will stay in my lane and bother this poor lovely person who doesnt even like the ship but is kind enough to see their potential to be pals cuz damn im in it for the emotions)

heh heh yeah it means we'd get along well but i like that interpretation too and think it would make a great story!! here's to you becoming more gutsy! (though again you're very free to use an alt or something!)

genuinely why i don't go looking lmao... song lan fans are so fucking strong to have to deal with the shit people have said BUT nowadays the climate seems to be a lot better :D i see lots of thirst for him at least KFHKDJ and my appreciation post of him has 800 notes so that's hopeful at least! but same i don't get it at all (though honestly i will say a lot of character hate stems from shipping. legit.) but yeah regarding xy hate for me it's gotta be for the "right" reasons LMAO

LJHLFHFD ALL THE COMPLIMENTS MY BRAIN CANT TAKE EM!!!! genuinely!!! THANK YOU!!!! i do often tell myself 'your stuff doesn't have to be perfect it just has to spark joy' to feel better about not rendering a piece to hell and back and mostly taking the lazy route, though this year i really wanna branch out and try more! but all of this has shot me in the heart... emotion to me is the most important part of art, and one of my favorite responses to get is laughter, and you don't need a 4K HD piece for that haha BUT LISTEN YOURE NOT WEIRD EVERY ARTIST I KNOW WOULD KILL TO HEAR THIS im gonna frame it. but after ive printed and eaten another copy like wow you think i set the scene ;_; will cry (agsjdhf sorry i really do read everything im just. PROCESSING!!!)

ahaha yeah for sure! i do love me some cannibalism (i am the cannibal friend) but absolutely that was just intended as a very dark place. song lan has Had it (the premise was xy thinking hey, he likes me, let me remove the nails i am sure everything will be fineOHNOOO)

oh dude i have chronic rarepair disease. most of what i ship is stuff i've come up with myself so any content is me + 2 souls maximum who i have managed to drag with me and make content KSGKFJ (case in point, xuechao) i just have this compulsion to do what nobody else has done

(you do deserve it! and dont go looking i wanna keep being the one who portrays them best :p)

and hey maybe because YES!!!! my work almost exclusively stems from personality oh my god thank you for acknowledging that i think that is the highest praise of all... how their personalities gel together is SUPER important for me, shipping or otherwise!! i'm telling you you and i would get along really well since we agree on the fundamentals i think! like yeah there's nothing wrong with some good old self indulgence but ooc takes me out of stuff a fair bit, and trust me i feel like most people would think MY stuff is ooc! but the thing about the strangers with blorbo names made me laugh so hard lhKDHJAfhsg i am so guilty of that in the past, i've read my old stuff and i'm just like damn. i just projected onto these dudes. NO MORE (it is bound to still happen privately but hey, ultimately, write what you want to read)

song lan and xue yang, in the 'if given the chance' realm, have exactly my favorite type of duo dynamism which is why i cannot stop drawing them lol like some funky spin on boke/tsukkomi... generally speaking ">:D -_-" is visually my favorite thing to draw haha and again! i wanna say it's not an all-out global dislike, i just a) understand most people are NOT coming at it from where i am so it doesn't interest me/makes me sad, and B) understand WHY people wouldn't be into it. because wow. um. ouch. that sure is some shit

i am gonna take a moment to plug an author i think you might really enjoy, pomegranites on ao3 (@pometogo on here!) ! i can't speak for Every flavor in there being to your tastes but there are definitely a fair few fics that made me bonkers, namely not easily let go, written for song lan love week :D

[thefinalsnart]

SNART SNART SNART ILY IM ALSO VERY AWARE OF ME NOT REPLYING ON DISCORD AND I WAIL ABOUT IT EVERY TIME IM ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP im smooching u as an apology 3': miss u<3

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers! - @alienaiver ✨

AW NOHR ITS OKAY 💕 I saw a while ago you mentioned you aren’t really on discord much, and I’ve been busy in my own little world lately and haven’t been on here much to say hi myself. 😔💕 Don’t worry about it mwah!

(@alienaiver — just tagging you so you can see this!)

Hhmmm 5 things that make me happy right now are:

1. My brother and my sister in law are visiting! I usually see them once a year, since they live in another part of the country, and that time for 2024 has come. My mom has also made some incredible baked goods for their visit, which I am also enjoying LMAO. Last night my brother, who has a fancy business boy job but is also in a couple bands, one of his friends who is also in those bands, and a family friend who is a folk musician played music together. It’s been lovely so far!

2. Makin’ stuff! I got some new brushes and textures to use in Procreate, and I’ve been having a lot of fun experimenting with them. I’ve also been working on the Dimension 20 Zine Jam again this July, and it’ll be coming out soon in early August! And in between all this, I’ve been making little sketches for AU ideas with friends. I was in a funk for a while, and everything I was making felt like torture. But I’m getting back into the swing of things! Here’s one of the things I drew last night. :3

3. Speaking of D20: I finished The Unsleeping City’s second season! If anyone is unfamiliar, it’s a D&D actual play on Dropout (and some seasons are free on YouTube!) TUC is about a magical, dream-fueled secret borough of New York City and the people who can see and interact with it. I think it’s my favourite D20 series. The first season (which is up on YouTube) had some elements I didn’t love, there was some Iron Fist stuff in there. But the second season rectifies some of that, which I appreciated. Really hoping they bring the second season to YouTube, too. Both seasons have some truly incredible improv in them. Lou and Brennan going at each other as a divorced couple, Brennan’s “You know that kindness is incredibly real. And the realness of that kindness makes it hurt even more that these people are not going to lie down in bed with you to keep you warm at night for the rest of your life.” KILLS MEEEE. It’s also so stupidly funny. In season 2 they get shrunk down so they can go to a monastery inside a hot dog cart that’s run by cockroach monks. They have to fight an army of centurion ants with ballista mustard and ketchup bottles. The absurd creativity of the seasons is so good, and being helmed by Brennan Lee Mulligan who was born and raised in NYC, it does make the place sound and feel magical.

4. Just good ol art in general! For one of the zines I worked on for the jam, I was looking into a bunch of different artists for inspiration. Here’s a little list of some of the artists I looked into: David Blackwood, Mary Pratt, Alex Coleville, Bo Bartlett, Edward Hopper, Maude Lewis, and Wayne Theibaud! Some of their works:

(Edward Hopper, Soir Bleu, 1914 / Mary Pratt, Cod Fillets on Tin Foil, 1974 / David Blackwood, Kean's Men Waiting for the S.S. Bellaventure, 1968 / Wayne Theibaud, Boston Cremes, 1962)

5. Dessert! I’m circling back around to my first point lmao, but my mom made a peanut butter cream cheese pie with Oreo crust… it’s one of the best things I’ve ever tasted. I love sweet treats and if you’re a fellow sweet treat enjoyer, go get yourself a sweet treat right now. I’m gonna go get a slice of that pie now myself, I think.

Thank you for the lovely ask Nohr! 💕 Sorry it took me a while to answer it 🙇 I hope you’re doing well! 💖

[vanlegion]

Ugh. Im having a ‘My art sucks; this comic is terrible; no ones gonna care; why am i even thinking about writing a fic for this’ moment…

Im sure ill get over it in a few hours, but damn it all if i dont hate getting into these funks.

Like, i see so many people on here that feel the same way, and i reach out because I get it. I get how youre feeling. I know that struggle, and how it can affect you on this emotional scale that makes you doubt your incredible talent.

Like i cant tell you how many times ive harshed on myself infront of my fiance and he just cant understand why i do so. He says, “Your brain is capable of moving your hand in a way to put pencil to paper and create images; in a way that ill never be able to.”

Its uplifting to hear, and harder to believe, but i do believe in his words, and ive got to believe in myself too.

I know its hard, for all of us, to tell ourselves we are good at what we do, and can only get better. But please believe me when i say that we are, we can, and we will.

We all are from different walks of life with different degrees of talent. Yet we can all come together by our shared interests and this talent that links us together. Thats so amazing.

So please, when youre having a moment like i am right now, just think of all the amazing work you’ve accomplished. Think of the people who tell you your work is amazing. Think of how it makes you feel to create.

Because thats what gives us the ability to keep putting pen to paper, digital pen to tablet, fingers to keys…

It’s worth it to us.

[anosci]

(136-150 albums etc that I’ve listened to this year, copied from twitter) (now with art. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11])

names and thoughts below cut

136/ Proc Fiskal - RT Hon (2023) absurdly cool hi tech sound de sign it fills a neat space where it's not "heavy" but it's not "chill" either.

---

137/ VA - SPC 18 (2023) absolutely insane turnout for this one! namedropping hilites: "doodack beta" BANGER. MASSIV. "a, b, or d-side?" cute :D "NO MORE SUICIDES" MASSIVELY UNDERRATED MINDBENDER. ERFBOUND. "the most average cbat in ohio" mad decent B)

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138/ Dialed - Dials And Tribulations (2023) a nice chillout idm sort of flavor kinda late 00s sound somewhat? alright all around

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139/ Jesper Kyd - Warhammer 40K: Darktide OST (2022) i got a comment abt JK's electostyle shining in here and… partial agree. the man loves his epic orch but when he pulls out the synths he goes hard. much love for both in "Transmission Commences". +holy shit "Disposal Unit"!

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140/ Keiichi Suzuki - Mother Revisited (2021) this is a heartfelt reprise of the more human side of earthbound's soundtrack. ("mostly" because… wow there's some psychedelics here.) sadly overall not quite my cup of tea, but i cant help but admire the, well… heart.

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141/ GRiZ - Rebel Era (2013) man this griz fellow makes some sexy music. finally, some funk in my wobs!

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142/ Machine Girl - 13th Hour EP (2013) hmm. this doesn't quite vibe with me and i can't place why. except "Trigger Finger", which feels like an odd one out?

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143/ Falcon Funk - Falcon Funk EP (2013) i am excited to announce that koan sound is not the only funky wob dude kicking ass in the early 10s. final track is a bit weak, drifting into some less funky style. feels misplaced. but the first three tracks? hell to the yeah.

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144/ Pegboard Nerds - The Lost Tracks (2013) two big highlights here for me: "FrainBreeze" holy hell an absolute banger opening. i love the FUNK "Lawless" is absolutely WILD to me. im down for the hard acid throwback. but the rest? still really good actually!

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145/ Stenny & Andrea - Vostok Smokescreen (2013) the synths float and the drums have a lovely texture. exactly the kind of kind-of-techno hazy-but-not-really vibes that i needed tonight.

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146/ KNOWER - Let Go (2013) oh yeah, i just remembered. i really really love the stabby synthy jazzy vibe these guys pull off. i honestly thought "time travler" wouldn't hold without anonymoose's video but wow it still slaps. hot damn.

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147/ Genevieve Artadi - Forever Forever (2023) honestly sounds like it could've come from cuneiform. like a particularly relaxed Thinking Plague. soft and luxurious.

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148/ Fantastic Plastic Machine - Scale (2013) man. there's a lot here but i'm struggling to mesh with it. this feels like FPM wanted a piece of that fidget electro swingy houseish action and then… produced something thatd steamroll a 1998 set, but in 2013… bluh :\

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149/ Flume - Arrived Anxious, Left Bored (2023) massive and l u s h . this is a funny spot where i just had a good time so idk what to add lol. its good!

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150/ Flare - DOTS (2013) man, ken ishii always hits just right for me. lots of raw synth stuff but with just enough of a liquid bed to sit comfortably. feels like a really great combo of "old vibes" and new.

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next page

[stresseddepressed-student]

Artist you should be listening to and what they’re music makes me feel like

Sports Team:

music makes me feel like im at a party grooving with my friends, getting wasted. slightly funky but mostly 80′s with a lot of synth. slightly beach boys with the guitar strumming. 

recommended song(s): M5 and Camel Crew

Jacob Noah:

music is rad to be driving near the beach at night with the windows down and the salty air stinging your nose. I can literally smell the sunscreen and sea water. sort of 80′s funk but sounds more like Dayglow mixed oddly enough with The NBHD

recommended song(s): If It Wasn’t (For you)

Fran Vascilic

music similar to Frank Ocean with white boy vocals. slow drive to the airport at 3 in the morning. feels like when you’re coming down from a bad trip. has slight Joji vibes with the guitar picking and vocal fry. musical progression feels akin to the “Up” sad song (you know which one i’m talking about)

recommended song(s): It’s Been a Fun Ride, but it’s Time to Say Goodbye and Day 39/167

Maris

super underrated I think. Jazz. straight up Jazz. she is absolutely fantastic. I’m in a Smokey bar with red lipstick and a cigarette I’m not even smoking hanging off my finger. Or in at a funeral in New Orleans. there is no in-between. she is an acquired taste, but you can really get into it. 

Recommended song(s): Two Part Invention

Gatton: 

a new age Sam Smith. I know we’re all a little tired of it, but he’s worth listening to. Listen to him while in your shower, turn the lights out, and lean dramatically against the wall. influenced by Christianity but he’s not a Christian artist. 

recommended song(s): When Scars Become Art and They Just Exist

The Ugly Boys

They are not ugly, just a forewarning. you will probably develop crushes. late 90′s pop. heavily influenced by boybands but with a funky vibe. imagine if the Wallows were a boyband. the boy who cruises on his skateboard in a wife-beater and dickies in Venice beach probably listens to this song. they also rap, but white boy rap. The guitar progressions sound influenced by The Eagles.

recommended song(s): Run Away!, Down Down Down, and Smoke and Sunshine. 

[writerkenna]

HP Next Gen Headcanons/Faceclaims

Helena Pomona Lovegood-Longbottom OC (Elle Fanning)

Born May 2006

Parents: Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood

House: Gryffindor

Headcanons:

Somehow exactly like both her parents and completely herself 

Knows all the secret ways to get into the kitchens

Mainly hangs out with Rose, though she can sometimes tolerate James, sometimes

Has a love/hate dynamic with James Potter, which has resulted in a good amount of hexes and the occasional kiss

Best friends with her Dad, whose heart she breaks in year 4 when she asks if their weekly Thursday lunches can be cut to monthly (it’s okay she buys him an ice cream and they have a good laugh about it)

Is very proud of how advanced she is with Herbology when she comes to Hogwarts from all her years of listening to her dad talk about it

Nargles are real, FIGHT HER ON IT!

Has the Longbottom chubby cheeks, which she hated for a long time, until her mum says how much she loves those cheeks on her dad

Has spent a few nights asleep under the stars in the astronomy tower with Rose, which she adores from stargazing nights with her family when she was young

This inspires her to suggest it as a first date location for Albus and Severus, which works brilliantly!

Bisexual 

Albus Severus Rubeus Potter (Logan Lerman)

Born March 2006

Parents: Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley

House: Slytherin 

Headcanons:

Puberty hits him hard with the angst

He spends most of his time being like ‘oh, I’m a Slytherin Potter, my family hates me, I AM the cursed child’ and Harry’s like ‘I literally adore you, now go clean up your snake’s cage’

Yes, he owns a snake. It’s part of the angst

Rose and Scorpius pull him out of that funk by year 3, don’t worry

He probably falls in love with Scorpius the moment he hears him speak French for the first time

His first year, he writes his mum and dad three letters a week. Ginny rolls her eyes and Harry goes completely soft for it

He hopes to be known around school not as Harry Potter’s son, or James’s brother, but instead Rose Granger Weasley’s cousin, for she is legit the smartest person he knows

When he realises he’s gay, he comes out sort of incidentally to Helena first because she finds him by the Great Lake, asks what he’s thinking, and she looks at him so knowingly, he just yells ‘IM GAY’

After he gets out of his angsty stage in life, he finally gets really close with his family again, especially his dad 

In the summer, he, James, Fred, Teddy, Hugo, Louis, all his uncles, his Dad, and Grandpa Arthur all go on a boys trip to Ireland for camping. He starts bringing Scorpius summer after year 5, who gets along amazingly well with Arthur

He is absolutely going to marry Scorpius, which he tells Ginny all the time. When she says they are a bit young to think like that, he’s like ‘literally this whole family married their childhood sweetheart don’t give me no bull’

Soft for his mum and sister

Gay

Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy-Belgarde (Mark Lee)

Born January 2006

Parents: Draco Malfoy and Luca Belgarde (OMC-Beauxbatons alum)

House: Slytherin

Headcanons:

Adopted at age two by his dads, but feels despite blood, was somehow always meant to be Draco’s son

Puts a blond glamour on his hair once he starts Hogwarts so everyone knows he’s a Malfoy

Angel baby boy who is both his fathers’ doll

He falls in love with Albus in third year when Albus spends the night  talking about how damned hard it is to have world famous parents. They talk until two in the morning and curse off the Daily Prophet

While he is a sweet soft boi, he is meant to be a Slytherin. He can work his sweet talk like a magic weapon and knows what he wants is always in his grasp if he can strategize for it

Grew up in a bilingual household, with Luca speaking French and Draco English

When he comes home for the winter holidays and tells his dads he’s fallen for Albus, Draco groans and says they need to talk. Scorp is worried for the worst, but Draco is just like ‘let me you give some advice on how to have a crush on a Potter, kid, because I wished I had got this talk at some point’

Dates Rose for approximately one week in year 3, just because everyone starts dating in his year and Albus is oblivious. They have one awful kiss and Albus makes him swear never to date one of his cousins again after that

Shocks Harry with how much he is not a mini Draco

Calls Albus “ma petite étole” because their first date was in the astronomy tower

Makes fast friends with both Molly and Arthur

Demi-sexual homoromantic

Rose Granger Weasley 

Born June 2006

Parents: Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger

House: Gryffindor

Headcanons:

The brightest witch of her age

Her best subjects(though she’s amazing at all of them) are Transfiguration, Potions, and Defense Against the Dark Arts

She hopes to get a ministry job one day, just like Mum

Loves to relentlessly pester Hugo

She has the most gorgeous little tortie cat named Trix

Her favorite cousin (don’t tell the others) is Molly II

But, of course, she has a major soft spot for Albus because they are so close in age, even when he’s an emo bastard

When she was young, her favorite activity was baking with Grandma Molly and Hugo

Whenever she goes to spend time with her muggle grandparents, she has a guilty pleasure for Muggle music. Her current favorites are: The Beatles, Modest Mouse, and Vampire Weekend(no actual vampires, Huh!)

She absolutely adores when she gets to pick the book for family book club nights

Moderately talented with Quidditch, however, is so bored by the idea of the sport that she doesn’t play. Ron’s pouty about it

However, she will go to matches to see Scorp, Roxanne, Fred, and James play

She spends a lot of time with Professor Longbottom due to how close she is with Helena. Neville loves writing to Hermione and Ron to say what a ‘ wonderfully magnificent’ girl she is

On the subject of Helena, Rose and her are close than close, from both a childhood around each other and, on day 1 of Hogwarts, getting beds smack dab next to each other for the best late night chatting set up

Because of this, Rose goes mental over Helena and James dating, because now she has to spend MORE time with him

Loves Hogwarts, but will always love nights with just her little family, Mum, Dad, and Hugo, when Dad calls her RosiePosie and makes his famous meatballs, even more

Heteroflexible

3/? of Next Gen Headcanons

[embcrry]

ok thisss took wayyy longer than i’d expected . like it’s fucking midnight ? like guys im such a mess omfg . anywaysss * tana mongeau vc “ welcome to my trash bin daught or welcome back to my trash bin daughter ... what ? was ? that ? idfk . if you wanna plot with my overly tired ass give this post a like and i’ll love you down i promise !! also i apologize for how long this intro is going to be in advance !

new york’s very own  𝐄𝐌���𝐋𝐈𝐄 " 𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐀 " 𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 was spotted on broadway street in 𝘓𝘖𝘜𝘉𝘖𝘜𝘛𝘐𝘕 𝘌𝘓𝘖𝘐𝘚𝘌 𝘉𝘖𝘖𝘛𝘚  . your resemblance to barbara palvin is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃  birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being guarded , but also dependable  . i guess being a 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be  𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘶𝘱, 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘯 + 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘸𝘬𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴  .  &  ( female & she/her  )  +  ( faith , 21 , she/her , est . )

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

FULL NAME : emilie sierra berry . NICKNAME : emma , em , emma bear ( by her little sister ) . BIRTH DATE : march 1st , 1998 . AGE : 22 . GENDER : female ( cis ) . PRONOUNS : she + her . ORIENTATION :  pansexual ( attractions are equal ) , panromantic ( leans more toward women ) . BIRTH PLACE : brisbane , australia ( see home here ) . the family still owns this house but don’t use it much . HOMETOWN : new york city ( upper west side ) , new york ( see home here ) . her dad + little sister still live here today . CURRENT LOCATION : new york city ( upper east side ) , new york ( see home here ) . moved in one year ago after break up . EDUCATION LEVEL : highschool diploma .   OCCUPATION : olympic swimmer ( emulated after katie ledecky ) , socialite , escort ( no one knows ) . NET WORTH : 32million ( every year up until she’s twenty five she receives a percentage of her trust fund ) . FAMILY NET WORTH : 3.1billion ( father ) , 4.8billion ( mother + step - father ) . PARENTS : adrian berry ( father , 51 , hedge fund manager ) , natasha laffont ( mother , 48 , former super model + philanthropist ) , thomas laffont ( step - father , 50 ,  businessman + art collector ) . SIBLINGS : tatiana berry ( sister , 10 , student + ballet dancer ) , bradley laffont ( step-brother , 24 , new york rangers player ) . PETS : jagger ( ragdoll cat , picture ) , maggie ( pomeranian - husky , picture ) . NATIONALITY : australian - american . ETHNICITY : hungarian . CLOTHING STYLE : expensive yet casual ; alot of black , hoodies , leather is a staple , high end sneakers , boots , colorful suits . JEWELRY : gold ; dangly earring , cartier bracelet , tiffany rings , barbell nipple piercings. DIET : pescitarian , no dairy ( lactose intolerant ) . WORK OUT HABITS : six times a week ( mostly boxing + swimming  ) . PERSONALITY : guarded ; there is nothing emma hates more than talking about her feelings or letting anyone know who she’s feeling , she has trouble trusting people for good reason ( the girls trust issues have trust issues yall ) + dependable ; if you need anything in the world go to emma she will move mountains to get shit down for you , she’s very punctual , and super disciplined probably due to being an olympian + goofy ; she doesn’t take much too seriously tbh , ( similar to joey + phoebe from friends ) she can be a bit of a space cadet and that always ends in her making everyone laugh + stubborn ; one thing is for sure about emma she’s extremely hard headed , loves getting her way , and is incredibly unforgiving . 

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘 ( in bullets )

her parents met during college , where they both attended princeton university . natasha , her mom , was in the middle of her modeling career completely blowing up while adrian was already setting the foundation of his investment company . they had a whirlwind romance and were married just a year after adrian graduated from princeton . both coming from old money , emma’s grandparents on both sides are extremely meticulous about the image of their family + so the same mentality was instilled in adrian + natasha .

 emma spent the first nine years of her life in brisbane , australia . her parents had moved out to australia just a couple years before she was born for the sake of making her father’s company an international success . 

with her parents always off doing something , emma was raised by her nanny + butler . when she was six she expressed her desire to get into swimming after watching michael phelps in the 2004 summer olympics . she was in absolute awe by him + wanted to be just like him . so the next day her nanny spoke to her parents and later that day she was enrolled into a local swimming program .

when she was nine her parents broke the news to her that they were moving to new york . at first she wasn’t all too mad about the move , she didn’t have many friends in school , wasn’t a big fan of her teachers , and knew the one thing she loved she could still do in new york . her outlook on the move changed when she found out that her nanny + butler would not be making the move across the equator with them though . how dare her parents steal the only people who’d ever taken care of her away from her ? she thought . she threw an absolute fit in protest ; completely wrecking the home + locking herself away in the bathroom in her room for nearly 20 hours before her nanny talked her into coming out . 

once in new york , emma was miserable . she had tantrums everyday and even stopped swimming for a few months . what inevitably pulled her out of her funk was a trip disneyland paris + her mom bringing her out to buy a whole new wardrobe . yall ever heard of a spoiled brat ?

once she was open to the idea of new york she kind of fell in love with the city , to be honest . she grew close to her new nanny + butler , of course and fell in love with her new swimming coach .

when she was fourteen her parents got a divorce and just six months later her mom was married to a billionaire living in connecticut with a son just two years older than emma . anyone with a brain could put together that her mom had been cheating on her dad , that was except for her dad who’d fallen into denial that his ex - wife would come back . 

[ trigger warning : alcoholism , child abuse , violence ] after months of listening to her father , emma broke , the two got in a huge screaming match about how her mom wasn’t coming back saying things like “this is so pathetic, stop graveling over a women who doesn’t want you” + “she doesn’t want you” + “just move on, she’s never coming back, she’s fucking an art collector in connecticut”. mind you she’s fourteen talking to her dad like this , yikes . he started spiraling after that , drinking heavily , doing coke more than just at events , and when emma copped an attitude he’d hit her . it started with just a rough slap , pushing her into the pool or down the stairs , and then it turned into punching her . it got so bad her coach started noticing during swim practices and inevitably threatened her dad , either he let her move in with him or he’d call the police . so , not wanting a tarnished reputation , her dad sent her off to live with her swim coach .

[ trigger warning : grooming ] life with her swim coach was cool , she got to swim alot more plus he was extremely high profile due to sending swimmers to the olympics as well acting in a few movies so she got to go to alot of events with him all across the world . she enjoyed her time with him more than she’d enjoyed the entirety of her life and then he got her to the 2012 olympics in london + her trust and appreciation for him sky rocketed . in her eyes no one int he world could or did love her more .

coming back from the olympics , her had fully sobered up and was ready to bring emma back home .  her and her coach weren’t completely gun ho for the move but she inevitably moved back home with her father .

[ trigger warning : statutory rape ] just a month after being back home , her coach started being a little too touchy with her . she felt uncomfortable by his advances but figured her was only taking care of her . then he kissed her and she was pretty creeped out so she asked what he was doing , basically the creep told her he was just missing her alot because she wasn’t living with him and reminded her about how he was really the only person who cared about her . she accepted what he said and soon after they started sleeping together regularly . he didn’t even have to tell her not to tell anyone , she innately knew if she ever told anyone he wouldn’t be her coach anymore and emma just wasn’t willing to lose the best coach she’d ever had . this continued for a little over a year until she went to the doctors and her mom went with her , her mom stayed in the room because the check up wasn’t all that invasive + then when her doctor asked her if she was sexually active her mom answered no but emma , not wanting to lie , stayed silent . she inevitably confessed at the appointment that she was sexually active . her mom freaked out and wanted to know who but of course emma didn’t spill that . she inevitably lied and said some guy she went to school with . within a week her mom found out she lied and refused to let emma go anywhere until she confessed who she was sleeping with . knowing her mom wouldn’t let up she told her it was her coach + that it wasn’t a big deal . but emma knew it was . her mom gave her coach an ultimatum he either quit coaching for good or she’d turn him in . she he quit and emma never heard from him again . 

she stopped talking to her more directly after that + stopped going back to connecticut for the weekends like she had been since her parents divorce . she was now sixteen without a swimming coach + completely mad at the world .  she’d had a rough few years , to say the least . she turned to partying , HEAVY , to cope with it all . she slept with anyone who so much as gave her a second look she didn’t care if they were older than her , had a girlfriend / boyfriend , if you were into her you could have her . it took her almost five months before she committed to a swim coach + they really whipped her back into shape . no more partying , emma went from school to practice and then home . it was awfully boring for the new party girl but she had one of the best coaches in the world + they promised to stop coaching her had she not listened to their every word . the only thing she cared more about then letting loose was going to another olympics . 

she attended a private school in manhattan where she completely smashed each and everyone of the school, districts , and state records in swimming . she was never big into her academics but she upheld a b average for the sake of being able to stay on the schools swimming team . if she received anything less than a b she would guilt her dad into giving her school a donation so they’d give her the grade she felt she deserved . 

she graduated from highschool in 2016 and although she was accepted into multiple schools across the nation , with athletic full ride offers from each school  , but she inevitably declined each school because she did want to spend another second behind a desk . knowing her dad would never approve of her not going to college , with his ivy league education ass , she lied to him and said she was attending nyu . 

she went to the 2016 olympics in rio and completely dominated ( 4 gold medals , 1 silver + breaking five world/olympic/american records in the meets ) . 

just months in 2017 her dad started to pick up on her lie about attending college . telling her she needed to enroll immediately or he’d cut her off . calling his bluff she didn’t enroll . she quickly learned that he wasn’t bluffing when he completely cut her off , telling her she had a month to find a place to live and move out .  

thanks to her olympics money + her endorsements with tyr sports + adidas she had enough money to get an apartment but her saving would deplete quick so she knew she needed to do something to make alot of money + quick .

desperate and running out of time emma joined seeking arrangements under an alias as sierra meyers . there were a few success and plenty of total blunders on the site but she got lucky with the first women she met with who offered to get her into escorting . emma didn’t even give it a second thought before she said yes , the only thing she asked is that the clientele not want her to attend highly publicized events with her as she's quickly get caught due to her socialite status   . 

within a year she’d made half of what her entire lifes work had made her , she grew obsessed with escorting and what made it crazy was there were people who would pay her half a million just to have dinner and talk with her . of course , those were the unicorns though because most wanted to sleep with her at the end of the night . 

when she turned twenty one her dad gave in and gave her back her blackcard + even offered to move her back into the house , she took the credit card but decided to continue living outside of his walls . 

she could’ve quit escorting right then and there , but she’d grown an addiction if you will to her work . there was something about the secrecy of it + her ability to make millions so easily that kept her going .

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

former roommate ; these two moved in together after her dad kicked her out + even though she moved in with someone else months after they signed the lease she payed them for her half of the rent for the rest of the lease , ex ; they dated when she was cut off by her dad + they inevitably moved into together they could of had a rocky or really good relationship by broke up around this time last year , the guy she “ lost “ her virginity to ; he didn’t actually take her virginity , in truth these two could very well have never even slept together but he’s the guy she lied to her about sleeping with to cover up sleeping with her coach he found out about her lie when emma’s mom asked his parents if he was sleeping with emma we can decide where things went from there between these two , suspicious friend ; they’re starting to pick up on her random disappearing + secrecy , maybe they start following her at some point and inevitably confront her about escorting or maybe they think she’s doing something else and accuse her of that ? , first girlfriend , more exes , people she’s slept with , someone who she slept with + they had a significant other , fellow olympians , travel buddy , podcast co-host ; these two came up with an idea recently to start a podcast , they haven't released it just yet but it’d be similar to call her daddy / impulsive !

[obeymematches]

Hello! Thank you so much for doing matchups!! So uh, I know you said you wouldn’t do based on looks but I am VERY tall for a girl. I’m 6’1 and have very poofy hair and huge round glasses. I’m also an INTP. My personality is a bit wack, I’m very blunt with how I say things, and don’t care about what others say and come off as cold, but when I warm up to you I’m a total dork! I don’t take anyone’s bullshit and WILL call them out. I get super fixated on one thing and literally won’t shut up about it, and become totally engrossed in it! But, I do get down very easily. And once in a funk, It usually lasts for a couple of weeks. I also really enjoy memes, (Deep fried, surreal, any.) and to laugh in general! but I’m also really into science and art! I lead in a lot of musicals at my school and I’m the section leader of the altos in choir. I also am currently studying zoology and biology since I love animals! Especially lizards and reptiles. IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG SISUBASI THANK YOUUU

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Hello ! ✨✨

Thank you for sending in a request! Don’t worry, it’s not that long! 

Hmm okay so someone who’s not likely to bs and appreciates honesty... okay so some brothers obviously have no chance...so i’m thinking Belphie or Levi. But you could also get along with Beel and Satan. 

This is hard, man...so i ended up making a chart, and now i have a page full of ideas for both Levi and Belphie.. I’ll go with the sleepy boy this time, but if you’d rather Levi or if you’re just curious, hmu and i’ll tell you why that’s also a good idea. 

so Belphegor: 

Okay so if anyone, he really appreciates when someone is honest, and who wouldn’t lie, but in general he knows he can count on them as a friend. (think about the devilgram story of Hatred card)

 You being so blunt would catch him off guard sometimes, but really, he would agree with you most of the time. (honestly,,, you have a lot of calling out to do with his brothers. but try to keep in mind that he loves his family deep down, so you’ll need to find the perfect balance between not being rude and calling out.) 

Except when you call him out on his tendencies of manipulating people. But hey, that will probably result in character development on his part. 

As I said, he can be pretty blunt too, which might not always result in peace, but you could always patch things up. 

Especially since you’d also call out Lucifer on his bs. (that would make you get along quite well with Satan too)

That would kinda make Belphie realize that maybe you were right and he has to change his ways. 

But you’d need to help him with that, and that will take some patience. Idk if you’re up for that challenge!  

He, himself, has a tendency of feeling down quite often. His emotions are kinda complicated and lately there’s always something that weights him down. so he would totally understand what you’re going through and he would send you emotional support memes sometimes. Maybe that’ll cheer you up a bit? 

You can also send him memes when he’s feeling down. He won’t react much but trust me, he’ll appreciate it. 

That would strengthen your bond even more, and slowly but surely, both of you would start falling in love.

You could also talk to him about science and art, and animals! 

We don’t know much about his relationship with animals, but I think he’d like to listen to you talk about it and your interests. He’d fall asleep to the sound of your voice sometimes. Not because he’s rude, but because he’s sleepy, and your voice relaxes him! 

On that note, he’d also love it if you’d sing him lullabies!! 

That would totally make him fall in love with you so much (and humans again). 

I think you’d have indoor dates most of the time. Maybe playing games, maybe watching anime? 

He’d invite you to grocery shopping, or to run other errands (for) with him 

I mean, not very romantic, but he tries, and that is also time spent together! 

But if you wanted to go somewhere, he’d totally go with you! Maybe it’d take some nagging, but he’d feel guilty if he rejected you! 

You’d help him bring out his older self, and he���d be so so glad and devoted to you! 

After you two really open up to the other, you’d always be seen together! 

[vyvesvi]

song rankings january - april 2020

only for my bias groups - loona, ateez, gwsn, and h&d - who are the only ones to have a comeback this year :^)

also to note - loona’s mini has 6 tracks, gwsn’s has 4, ateez’s has 5, and h&d’s has 7, not including the intstrumental tracks.

bsides:

1.) gwsn - tweaks ~ heavy clouds but no rain

2.) loona - day & night 

these songs are very close in my mind. there’s something almost remeniscent of future funk, which a kinda deep bass that i’ve been extremely fond of recently

3.) loona - oh 

4.) gwsn - after the bloom (alone)

these two songs are also basically on the same tier, the only reason why oh is #3 is because yeah gaja 1 2 is so iconic. the rap in after the bloom has major potential to go viral too (it’s literally so so so good pls listen) if groos start the trend but i don’t see it happening yet, idk. 

5.) h&d - empty handed 

a chill bop. dohyon has a lot more lines in this one, which is nice (im a hangyul stan btw)

i also feel like the vibes suit hangyul’s voice more. he’s being pushed as a main vocalist when that’s not really his strength, but this song fits his range a bit better than their title tracks have.

6.) h&d - toward tomorrow

very similar to empty handed, just more vocally driven? it almost feels like they’re two versions of the same song. but whatever, i like it.

7.) ateez - horizon

8.) loona - ddd 

the raps in these two are very different but i love them both sm TT. horizon is just art (hongjoong is deadass one of my favorite male rappers in kpop, like #1 or #2) almost but not quite on the level of after the bloom and ddd’s rap is just cute and catchy af, one of my favorite loona raps in general. horizon’s whole flow as a song is just really nice as well.

9.) ateez - precious

precious’ bgm is just weird af, kind of like h&d’s intro now that I think about it? but i like it, whatever. it’s kinda weird because it has the feeling of being a really artsy song kinda stuck in a pop mode? idk

i also like the feeling that they infuse this song with. like it’s very...idk if motivating is the right word? but this song evokes some sorta weird hopeful emotion that ateez often strays towards that i’m pretty fond of

10.) h&d - good night 

she’s cute, not much to report tbh. dohyon also has more lines in this and this concept suits him more than soul, which is nice.

11.) h&d - unfamiliar*

i fully expected to hate this song and i kinda did when it came out but as i relisten i’m coming to appreciate it. it’s not something i’ll listen to a ton 

12.) h&d - make me a different person 

it’s pretty chill, a little more...i’m not sure what the word is. it’s definitely not trop house but the beat is certainly...bouncy. idk. i have to be in the mood to really enjoy that tbh.

the other weird thing is that the song- and almsot all of their songs now that i think about it- sound super melancholy in tone? but the beat is so bouncy, it’s confusing lol. and not in the kinda tongue in cheek sad lyrics happy beat kinda way, just...the melody or their voices are very...emotional? that’s maybe too much, but i’m having trouble describing it lol.

below here is the slow songs section and im a slow songs anti, sorry

13.) loona - number 1 

she’s alright.

14.) gwsn - the aerialist (wonderboy)

the fact that this is their lead bside is like a kick in the jaw i’m personally offended

15.) ateez - star 1117

...not their best, by far.

*unfamiliar was technically a title track but it wasn’t the title for this album so i’m counting it as a bside lol

title tracks:

honestly i’m not a *huge* fan of the title tracks on any of these albums in comparison to others by the same group (for loona, ateez, and gwsn)

ateez - answer > loona - so what > gwsn - bazooka > h&d - soul

intros and outros: 

h&d - intro = loona - # > ateez - outro: long journey

of all of these songs ateez’s outro: long journey and star 1117 are the only songs not to be added to my library (and therefore not downloaded). i haven’t figured out h&d yet (so none downloaded atm), but i have all of these songs downloaded except for the aforementioned ateez songs and gwsn’s the aerialist (wonderboy). off the top of my head i’ll probably download the whole h&d album (maybe except soul, idk).

choreo

tl;dr - idk my ranking but soul is last

ateez - answer

im deadass afraid to watch ateez’s choreo because anze (their choreographer) does such an amazing job (my favorites are wonderland and wave) but ateez/kq tend to change the tone or take away my favorite parts of the anze choreo so for my sanity i really can’t watch atz’s choreo. anyways im sure answer is great lmfao

gwsn - bazooka

bazooka is simple and wayyy less intricate than their other title track choreos but i for one appreciate a solid point dance when i see one. the bazooka move is simple, iconic, and very representative of the lyrics so i appreciate it a lot. i’ve missed the iconic and iconographic choreo that kpop used to be famous for

h&d - soul

my main gripe with h&d in general is that hangyul and dohyon are s u c h a weird duo. even though i liked their album wayyyyy way wayyyyy more than i expected i don’t think that they’re very marketable as a kpop duo. duos in general just aren’t great, profit really rolls in at around 5 members, unless you’re 1.) blackpink, or 2.) a subunit of a larger group, and h&d are neither. 

another huge complaint (which is basically the same as the first): h&d had like, 60 backup dancers in the mv i swear. are you telling me that not a single one of them can carry a tune??? not a single one. out of 60. there were some cute ones that i noticed in the stage performance. you couldn’t even eke out a sub rapper mbk, seriously?

also it’s very clear that they’re pushing hangyul as a visual, main vocal, main dancer, which is fine ish except there aren’t really enough rap breaks in the song for dohyon to shine like, at all? and he’s kinda always behind hangyul and it’s really noticeable bc there’s only two of them (and their army of back up dancers).

icb i used to be a lowkey dohyon anti and mbk’s treatment has me doing all this. jesus

loona - so what

i’m gonna keep it all the way real. so what feels (and looks, to me) complicated for the sake of being complicated. the girls worked so hard to learn and perform this choreo but to what end? there’s no iconic point dance, and orbits and experienced dancers will find it impressive but it’s not really accessible to the gp?

butterfly hit that balance between complex and iconographic, but i’m not sure about iconic.

//btw, this is my metric for iconic: if you and a bunch of friends who like the same group were told to do a dance move or strike a pose based solely on the title of the song (obviously assuming that everyone has watched the livestages and is a fan, etc) would you all do the same thing? that’s the beauty of the point dance: if a song has a clear point dance, you probably will. whether this is a strength that every kpop song needs is debatable, but it’s definitely important to me, with few exceptions.

there’s probably more i could go into about mv and styling but i think i’ll stop here for now xx

[baylardo]

another one: another one

Quarantine Survey:

tagged by @yonderlight​ again::: i lov u b 

also sorry i know u tagged schratfield we keeping my 1917 blog clean lol

Where are you isolated? my mom’s house, my dad wont let me come over lol rip i just wanna share corona bro

What are you currently reading or watching? reading:: this weird heckin criminal justice capstone book about making yourself more presentable/qualified for interviews lol watching:::: gonna watch lotr two towers tonight with my friends :)))))) other than that better call saul is my only remaining hope in Decent Television and im so sad but happy it’s ending Hopefully Well next season;;;;;;;;;;;;; 

If you can go outside, what do you like to do during this time? i have a bunch of succulents i take care of throughout the week! theyre pretty low maintenance but i love my babies <33333 other than that ill weed or prune the rest of the garden lol. sometimes i do my homework outside and vibe with my cat. 

Any fascinating concept you’re studying? im taking my capstone which is Not Fascinating but my other two classes are Women in Prison which so far is basically “Criminological Theory But For Women” which is meh and a criminal investigation class which would be more interesting if my professor would heckign upload his lectures on time lmao

What kind of acts of creativity/forms of art are you currently doing? i am on such a hecking Art High right now with 1917, it got me out of an art funk i’ve been in for moooooonths and im so happy making content again;; sadly in the process i really have 0 drive to work on my own OCs and kinda Hate Em lol

A song that resonates with your state of mind at the moment? Dream of the Ocean - Night Argent

Favourite impulsive/“bad” coping techniques? Drawing lol i find i do it when im stressed out with school and should be More Productive But Here I Am With Massive Amounts Of Art Drive 

Favourite healthy/“good” coping techniques? drawing :) i rarely do vent art but i draw when im sad and it helps, i also love love love talking with my friends when im getting Anxious it takes my mind off of it

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Two Hundred Seventy-One: Bewildering Experience ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

There’s certain social rules when it comes to high school. Navigating as many of them as you can means getting through those four years a little less scathed. While it’s tedious at best for most, there can still be moments that stand out positively for students. The typical dredgery of classes, homework, tests and exams have the occasional break in the monotony.

For Hinata, this is her final year. A senior at last, whittling at her schedule until graduation next Summer. A rather model student, her college is all picked out, major decided, and all that’s left is to get through this last batch of school days until...well, more schooling. But surely college won’t be nearly the task high school has been, right?

Well...so she hopes.

Hinata has always been a bit of a stereotype. The quiet, nerdy, shy girl...with a crush on the star of the basketball team. Fairly academic, she also branches into some of the more artsy institutions of her high school: choir, theater club, and the occasional art class. She even participates in volleyball and tennis. Her grades are top notch due to her diligence, and...lack of a social life, really. Her quietude means mostly being ignored by her classmates. A few like Sakura, maybe Ino, occasionally drag her along for something. But for the most part, she’s left to her own devices.

The only real talking she does is digitally. She texts, she IMs on Discord, lurks on social media...but she devotes most of her time and energy to her classes, clubs, and sports.

Most of the year passes fairly normally. The typical teenage drama, class difficulties, club activities...and then they enter the last quarter of the year. Hinata’s still in her clubs, and after Winter quarter off from sports, enters her last high school tennis season.

And that’s when things start to get...weird.

For the longest time, Hinata’s crushed on one Naruto Uzumaki: aforementioned basketball player, but also baseball. Alongside him is his best friend, Sasuke Uchiha. Naruto, however, has long crushed on Sakura: a rather jock-like girl who plays sports all year round, ending with softball. The pair seem to be teetering on the edge of finally going out, and...quite obviously, that left Hinata in a bit of a funk.

...but then the unexpected happened.

Sasuke offered to come watch her play. Which, Hinata supposed, wasn’t that unthinkable. They’d been talking about it, Naruto excusing himself due to watching Sakura’s upcoming softball match after Hinata had admitted to planning to watch the boys’ baseball game. She had been rather disappointed until Sasuke spoke up.

...and then he went and confronted her about her dead-end crush once the others had gone.

Hinata was...a bit flabbergasted. But he had a point...Naruto was never going to see her the way she saw him. But it was the subtle hint beneath it that left her a bit bewildered.

...was he…?

A challenging quip resulting in his blush and stutter all but confirmed it: he, in turn, was crushing on her.

...it was completely unexpected. He was one of the most popular guys in their year…! And he...he liked...her…? Why? She’s quiet, uninteresting, unnoticed...not anyone someone like him would care about!

And yet...he did.

Disaster nearly struck when - on her way to the game - she’d gotten a flat tire on her bike. But lo and behold, none other than Sasuke’s mother - also headed to the field - offered to give her a ride. Sitting next to both Mikoto and Kushina, Hinata had watched as they achieved victory, needing only one more win to make it to state.

He’d been surprised to see her there. Made a bit of flustered small talk. And then they’d parted ways rather...awkwardly.

And it only got worse the next time she really got to see him. Nailed by a flyaway baseball bat, he’d been left with a sizeable split in his brow. Hinata, excused from a cancelled practice, offered to take him to the nurse.

Cue more careful dancing around each other, Mikoto even teasing him when he drove home (Hinata accompanying to make sure he was okay to drive).

By then, it wasn’t quite so shocking anymore. Sasuke, quite obviously, despite the breaks in social hierarchy, was very smitten with the class wallflower.

...and after all her considering it, Hinata has decided...maybe she could like him back. He’s a lot sweeter than his typical aloof persona shows. Maybe not quite the brash charm Naruto has that she originally fell for, but...it’s nice. She feels rather at ease talking to him.

So, Hinata decides to break some social rules of her own.

Waiting outside the locker rooms after an afternoon of practice, she ignores the curious looks the other boys give her, clearly suspecting she’s up to something. But Hinata just waits until the proper one emerges.

“Hi!”

Startling, Sasuke looks to her with wide eyes...and then promptly goes pink.

...she’s really starting to like when he does that. It’s just so funny compared to his typical composure. To think, she has that sort of power.

“...uh, hi?”

“I got out a little early, so I thought I’d see how your practice went,” Hinata then offers, still smiling at him.

...it’s his turn to look suspicious. “It was...fine? Why?”

“Just make sure you didn’t take any more b-bats to the face.”

His flustered expression gets all the worse, going from pink to bright red. “No! I’m fine, that was just...a freak accident. Besides, you’d probably find a way to hear about it if I did,” Sasuke then mutters, shoving hands into his pockets.

Hinata’s expression warms. “Sorry, I don’t m-mean to tease you. I really do hope you’re okay. How’s your forehead…?”

“It’s pretty much healed up. Really wasn’t that bad.”

“Good.”

After a moment of just...standing awkwardly, Sasuke tentatively starts walking, seeing her follow. “...so, did you...need anything else?”

“No. Not really.”

“...uh, okay. How, uh...how was your practice?”

“Fine! It was a bit of a light day since we have a game in two days, so...coach doesn’t want us too burnt out. That’s why I was able to catch you!”

“Oh...what team are you playing?”

“Iwa. They’re sort of our rivals in tennis. I’m r-really hoping we beat them. We’re already too low in the rankings to go to state, so...this is really our big push for the end of the year.”

Genuine concern bleeds through Sasuke’s expression. “Oh...sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay. I’m h-hoping it means I can make it to some of your state games!”

“Oh, well…” Sasuke itches his neck, looking a little sheepish. “We still have one more game against Suna...we’re not there yet.”

“But I bet you will be,” Hinata counters, smiling. “You guys have done r-really well! And it would be so neat if you made it there your last year…”

“Yeah...I hope so. My brother’s soccer team went all four years, and won his junior year. I’d like to at least brush up against that, honestly.”

Hinata glances over at the wistfulness in Sasuke’s tone. “...I see. Will he...will he be able to come watch?”

“Maybe...he’s just out of college and working pretty heavily, so he might not have time. But I think the games are live streamed, so...maybe he can catch it that way.”

“That’s true. But...I hope I can go. I think a group of seniors are planning to skip out and go if you make it to the finals!”

“Really?”

“Mhm! I’d go with them, even if my dad might get mad...I’ve never skipped school before.”

Sasuke considers her for a long moment. “...why do you want to go so bad?”

“Well, it’s been a while since any of our school’s teams made it to state! I want to support them.” Looking up, there’s a small sparkle in her eyes. “...and that means you, too.”

A hint of pink creeps back into his face. “...well, uh...thanks.”

“Sasuke…?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Uh, sure. What’s up?”

“I know you’re awfully busy with baseball and stuff, but um…” She looks to the ground, tucking hair behind her ear as she walks. “But...I was wondering if you’d like to...g-go out with me sometime?”

Sasuke actually freezes in his tracks.

Ending up a few paces forward, Hinata turns back toward him, seeing his wide eyes. “Would...would that be okay?”

“You...you’d wanna…?”

Dropping her coy teasing, Hinata softens, smiling warmly at him. “...I know we started off a bit, um...a bit awkwardly. With the whole...Naruto thing. But...it’s been nice getting to know you a little. You’re a very sweet person, Sasuke. I guess...I never got to see that until recently. I was too busy looking at Naruto, and...well, you seem to like to keep that sort of thing h-hidden.”

Slowly, Sasuke’s posture loses its tense edge.

Hinata glances aside, expression a bit unreadable. “...I’m sorry if you...if you had to keep this to yourself for very long. I know how that feels, and...I’m sorry for never noticing.”

“...well, I wasn’t exactly open about it. I just thought...y’know...you couldn’t really be interested with Naruto around.”

“...well, you were right. He’s never going to see me that way, and...maybe I need to try looking elsewhere.” Shyly, she glances up to him. “...maybe at...someone who already sees me.”

Nerves showing through his expression again, Sasuke dusts pink across the bridge of his nose. “...I’d...I’d like to try that. I know the year’s almost over, and...maybe we’ll end up apart once college starts. But...I really do like you, Hinata,” Sasuke offers in a rare moment of openness. “So...yeah. I’ll let you know when I’ve got some time where we can...do something. Hopefully a day will line up, right?”

She nods, smile back in place. “Okay. Here, I’ll...give you my number. And we can...text about it later? When you’ve got a moment?”

“Yeah, sure.” With digits exchanged, the pair stand in silence for a moment. “...y’know, I...wasn’t expecting you to do that. You really caught me off-guard,” Sasuke admits with a huff of a laugh.

“I f-figured I would,” she agrees with a laugh of her own. “But...well, one of us had to say something, right?”

“Yeah...glad you did.”

“...me too. Anyway, I...better get home. Homework and all that,” Hinata sighs.

“Yeah, same. I’ll text you later.”

“Okay!” Giving a beaming wave, she takes off toward the bike rack as Sasuke makes his way to the parking lot. There’s a happy little flutter in her chest. It was a bit of a bewildering experience on both sides, but...for once, she’s glad she took a leap.

Now to see where it will take her…!

                                                     .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to days 149, 168, and 183!)      More sportsverse! And I'm slowly making up my behind days xD With this I'm just one behind now, though I'm not sure when I'll have time to be 100% caught up. October is gonna be busy both irl and in regards to writing, so...we'll see!      Anyway, we have Hinata leading the charge for once! Nervous, blushy Sasuke is best Sasuke. And I like Hinata having her bold moments...especially when it's something like this! We officially have a relationship going, woohoo! Maybe another prompt will let me write a date xD We'll have to see!      But yes, for now I've got some irl stuff to get done, but! Thanks, as always, for reading!

[chimcharstar]

1-100 TELL ME ALL

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name?

Jesse

2. How old are you?

22

3. When is your birthday?

dec 9

4. What is your zodiac sign?

sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

purples

6. What’s your lucky number?

9

7. Do you have any pets?

no

8. Where are you from?

bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia

9. How tall are you?

5 something

10. What shoe size are you?

7?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3 that i actually use

12. What was your last dream about?

i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post

13. What talents do you have?

i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline

14. Are you psychic in any way?

well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there

15. Favorite song?

for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I  took all the colours

16. Favorite movie?

spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much

18. Do you want children?

not RIGHT NOW

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.

20. Are you religious?

yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

i got a parking ticket

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them

24. Baths or showers?

showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

alien socks that are green and black

26. Have you ever been famous?

no. what does that even mean !!!!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them

28. What type of music do you like?

stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin

32. How big is your house?

BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

HELL no.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.

36. Favorite clean word?

i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.

37. Favorite swear word?

bitch. its really fun to say.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.

39. Do you have any scars?

yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

i believe so...

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents

44. Do you have a strong accent?

i dont know how to answer this

45. What is your favorite accent?

idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them

46. What is your personality type?

that.... INFJ. see. psychic

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

one of the gay jackets

48. Can you curl your tongue?

dont think so

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

left

51. Are you scared of spiders?

depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free

52. Favorite food?

tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish

53. Favorite foreign food?

idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

clean

55. Most used phrased?

“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot

56. Most used word?

I

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i do, but i hide it. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work

61. Do you sing to yourself?

nah

62. Are you a good singer?

no. i can sing and it sound okay.  nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.

63. Biggest Fear?

someone dying, natural disaster, new illness

64. Are you a gossip?

maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those

66. Do you like long or short hair?

BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.

68. Favorite school subject?

ART ART AR T

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introerverte

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no

71. What makes you nervous?

people who are not Definitely Cheerful

72. Are you scared of the dark?

no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL

74. Are you ticklish?

depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok...... 

77. Have you ever drank underage?

no

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no

79. Who was your first real crush?

someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE

80. How many piercings do you have?

two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im  so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

hell yes

82. How fast can you type?

so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast

83. How fast can you run?

IM VERY FAST

84. What color is your hair?

orange

85. What color is your eyes?

green

86. What are you allergic to?

im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives

87. Do you keep a journal?

yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures

88. What do your parents do?

my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky

89. Do you like your age?

sure

90. What makes you angry?

everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger. 

91. Do you like your own name?

YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

yeah, i want a boy a girl

94. What are you strengths?

my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles

95. What are your weaknesses?

the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea

96. How did you get your name?

i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie  “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school 

98. Do you have any scars?

weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon

99. Color of your bedspread?

pink, white, blue

100. Color of your room?

white

[simcophogi]

hello r u doing ok?

@starshine-sims THANK YOU!!! ♥

@surreysimmer @awolzai TY! I LOVE YOU GUYS!! Sorry, I went mia, I MISS U T^T

THIS IS GONNA BE REALLY LONG AND REALLY RANTY SO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE IF U READ IT LOL. 

save yourself and just keep scrolling

I’m gonna drop a lot of shit fyi. tldr at the bottom if you don’t wanna read all this heavy garbage.

So for a general refresher on my life, because no one asked and i feel like oversharing in this chili’s tonight, we’re gonna dive in deep. I dropped out of college to deal with a shit ton of mental health problems last year. (severe depression, anxiety, toxic relationships, toss in some trauma from an ex-boyfriend, lots of panic attacks, like the list is massive) I had one year (or so) left so that really sucked and ended up hurting more than helping me mentally. Tack on emotional stress of now trying to figure out how to write a resume without adding the fancy BA in arts/technology (whatever the fuck I was doing), and trying to find a job before the boredom eats me alive. But not actually having a resume to give people makes that quite difficult. Plus living with my parents, who I adore and they’ve been helpful and wonderful and I couldn’t ask for more understanding or more supportive people, but I’m super cozy and haven’t had an intense need to get out of the house yet. Even though I really miss living on my own. 

My doctor has me on medication that ruined my appetite, so I’m eating maybe?? once a day? It’s not good. It’s helped with anxiety at least, so I’m enjoying the outdoors and occasionally getting out of the house. I wake up every few hours wanting food but not being able to eat it, so I'm exhausted. I’ve gotten to watch the sunrise a lot though. It’s beautiful but I would love to watch it without hearing my stomach roar. 

It’s been at least a month since all that and it’s gotten better, I’m at least sort of eating lunch and dinner. Maybe a snack during the day. Still not optimal though, still watching that wonderful sunrise and it’s really peaceful in the mornings I’ll give it that. I have good days that I’ll actually try to be social, but the majority are just, I lay in bed and watch the ceiling fan until I get called down for dinner, or I deem it an acceptable time to sleep. It’s incredibly dull and HOT DAMN I wish I could actually sit and play sims because I want to, but the excitement is just not there. Sometimes there’s a spark but it always fizzles out before I do anything.

+ if this wasn’t enough ranting already for you, add on the fact that my girlfriend/best friend went mia for another 3 months, came back and has been sporadically going offline and not contacting me for days at a time. She’ll come back, explain what happened and then we go back to normal. And then she’ll disappear again. It’s incredibly draining for both of us, and I’m always livid when this happens because a warning would’ve been nice or something but it’s almost always a reason out of her control that I won’t go into detail on bc it’s family/personal related. But it always seems like there’s something I could be doing or something she could be doing. Or that she’s not trying to talk to me, or she’s not trying hard enough and then I feel like shit because I know she is doing all she can. (A lot of or’s and what if’s here. She’s been mia since Sunday so I’ve had time to think of all the possibilities of what’s happened this time and it’s quite a ride.) I’ve never doubted her before, I mean we constantly talk about the day we’re living together, getting to take care of each other and doing face masks and playing stupid games. Married and have kids + trying to see how many dogs we can have without dying. We’re both incredibly excited for that. But this is happening more often and it feels like there’s some easier solution that we’re both missing. The distance hasn’t ever really been a problem for us, or at least not a major one. But six years have kind of/sort of finally started to wear us down and there’s this ache when I talk to her sometimes because I want her next to me. I want to be able to go on road trips with her and randomly bring home stupid gifts. I want to be able to buy her family things and play dumb drinking games with them. I want to be able to ask her when she’s getting home and have it mean when are you going to be able to hug me. I wanna have dumb fights that we settle with lightsabers. 

I’m moving on before I start bawling.

Literally, all my problems (or a large majority) would be solved if I could get a job. And there’s the cycle. I need a job to get money to visit my girlfriend, but I need a resume to get a job. I need a job/purpose to help kick me out of this depressive funk I’m in but I need a resume. And I need to not be so depressed and critical if I’m going to actually write a resume because every time I look at it and try to write it I break down sobbing and I feel like a failure and OOF. Plus I need some motivation to actually work on things to put in a portfolio so I can get a job that I actually like and won’t hate. 

If you read all of that I’ll send you a picture of Fudge because you are a fucking trooper. (and that’s also all i have to give but like you deserve something LOL) 

tl;dr Hi, I’m not ok. Like at all. Taking it day by day, looking on the bright side of things (trying to at least). I’ll be lurking, but I won’t be posting anything. Maybe the occasional reblog, but I’m just going on an indefinite hiatus until something gets sorted. I’m not super amazing at talking to people right now but I’m way more active on discord so if you want to chat feel free to add me and say hi (meg#5181). I’ll still talk here but I might take a while to answer.

[hcrris]

can ….. i come in ????? have been watching unbreakable kimmy schmidt for 3 hours pretending time isnt passing , life isnt real and in fact.. i am dreaming (-: lajdfksl hey <3 im jay im 21 and i love those instagram profiles of hamsters in little clothes ( when they got little purses? ???? dont talk to me im cryin. ) below u will find info about jane harris aka literally the vine of the little kid scribbling hard like his life depended on it. shes a mess ?? but a semi enjoyable mess. a mess with good intentions. if u want to establish some connections, LIKE THIS and i will come annoy u <3 alternatively u can ease my social anxiety and msg me here or through my discord sencha tea#4035 (و ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و♡

( lily collins, cis female, she/her. ) — jane harris has been a medina complex resident for three years, now. they’re twenty-three years old, and they tend to avoid making eye contact. sometimes when i walk by B06, i hear cherry-coloured funk by cocteau twins playing. lately, i’d say they’re pretty effervescent, but sometimes that’s overwhelmed by the fact that they’re neurotic. i mean, they usually pay their rent on time, though, and that’s most important fact here.

repeatedly fixing the apartment number on the door when it swings down to a nine, a split moment of shadow after the radiance of laughter, carl sagan’s pale blue dot, a life of frequent minor accidents, constant hunger for balance overshadowed by emotional turbulence.

                      🇧​🇦​🇨​🇰​🇬​🇷​🇴​🇺​🇳​🇩​​

TW ALCOHOLISM EMOTIONAL ABUSE DEPRESSION & ANXIETY !!!!! ok moving on

her parents met in art school in paris.. her mom is french and studied art history while her dad was an exchange student from california with a skewed artist mentality. it was that saccharine, toxic sort of love. her mom always felt like she needed to be the guardian angel in the relationship who would always hold him up when he was feeling down and he was feeling down….. a lot. because she was putting all that energy to save her relationship, she was drowning too but never enough to walk away. there was a lot of love there but it was twisted and uncomfortable at times

when they found out jane was on the way, it felt like they needed to suddenly grow up. her mom was ready to make changes, adapt to the new lifestyle. her dad, on the other hand, urged they rethink if this is what they want but he didn’t push for abortion.. he understood it was jane’s mothers choice to make and reassured that he would be there for the both of them no. matter. what. 

but ??? the reality was he felt trapped by the idea of a child and he struggled to acknowledge and accept how quickly his life was flipping upside down and how he lost all control of it. he wanted to travel around europe ???? soak in nature, daydream and make art . but jane’s mom wanted to settle. instead of embarking on adventures after graduating, they decided to move to california. 

things just seemed to fall apart like domino from then on. janes mom was lead astray.. thinking that what california would bring them was stability but instead, it was all chaos. they rushed to get married .. turned out janes father wasnt on good terms with his parents. he was irresponsible financially, put both his parents in huge debt, was blinded by his ego to ever realise his mistakes. lied constantly .. convincing janes mom that there’s light going forward. that once he finds a sponsor for his art .... once he sells his first piece ... once they see in him what he always saw in himself , he was going to make it right. and he reassured he would make it right for jane.

janes mom was so pathetically in love that she pushed through .. living in a sort of imagined world, believing that things were better than they actually were. and her dad was good at persuading that narrative. he would come home with a pocketful of cash and the bills paid. oftentimes, it was all an act. his art wasn’t selling and a lot of what he bragged about was borrowed or stolen. behind the curtain, he was absent and unmotivated. he would come home in the evening claiming that the whisky breath was celebratory but in reality, he was complaining to the barman two blocks away about how his life feels monotone .. like a french black and white movie.  

the day of jane’s birth was a whole mess. her father decided to drive her mother to the hospital, knowing he had one too many. they were caught for speeding and while janes dad spent the night at a nearby station for driving under influence, her mom was at the back of a cop car, crying for one too many reasons .. jane decided to hang on for a little while longer and was born at 3am the following night. cradled in her mothers arms and her dads voice humming on the line

jane would only ever hear the romanticised version of this story from her mother. this ??? fucked up sense of security that no matter what, love conquers all. that love means supporting each other, loving each other extra when everything else falls apart. but truth is.. her mother was forced to give up her own dreams, lost all connections to her past, worked days and nights at a nursing home to support her family and pitch in to her husbands alcoholism while she’s at it. making excuses that jane was too young to contradict. all while the only source of happiness for her father was the haziness of his evenings, when he felt like floating and he could barely hold onto to his paintbrush. he was a stranger living in their basement .. more than he was ever a father 

growing up, jane watched her mother mask her depression. carry empty bottles out from the basement, trying to hide it from jane .. it brought her shame. she was doing the same thing to jane that he was doing to her for all these years .. consistently expressing a certain attitude, this unwavering satisfaction for the life they are living and so ... it hardens. you start to believe it. except unlike her mother, jane was observant.. she had other lives around her to compare to her own, voices of reason that pierced through the skewed perception her mother drilled into her skull. when jane grew into her skin, she felt so ... disgusted and angry. she tried to pull her mother out of her fantasy but nothing worked. 

through her high school years, she felt helpless .. her home life was a nightmare and she made every possible attempt to stay out of it for as long as possible. she took on jobs and extracurriculars .. stayed at her friends’ house until she couldn’t. and she would think.. think so hard, she would start crying. pushing her own problems away .. in her head, she would imagine herself in a different skin, a different place. it was the only way she could calm her breathing. only to have to battle the same thoughts the following morning

after graduating high school, jane went to community college for product management got a job offering after her placement at a big company and moved out shortly after ( and MOVED IN to medina... can i get a yee yee ) .. she got insurance for the first time in her life and eats too many of free pizza slices at work to save up on groceries every week <3

she doesn’t visit her parents bc she no longer feels like her mother is on her team. she’s lived a maddening and terribly draining life and living alone has brought her deserving peace.. although she’d rather keep contact with her mother to a minimum, its obvious that jane is her mothers anchor. if she feels as though her daughter is not fighting for her, she breaks down.. as much as jane wants to run away from her past, it always seems to catch up 

if ur still reading literally who are u lafjdkl. ill be done schoon ..... oof 

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if they are friends ... jane. will. talk. ur. ear. off. but probably not for the right reasons lol .. she has never been assessed by a professional, isn’t taking any treatment but she definitely needs it :( shes a chronic overthinker.. the voice in her head keeps chattering away most of the time which gets a little nauseating. she hates silence and feels like she needs to fill it with words. she often says the wrong things .. to the wrong people ... at the WRONG time and she is very aware of it. its the culprit for her self doubt and struggle to open up emotionally to the people shes close to. shes very critical towards herself, she micro analyses everything from the way she acts, the way she looks and what she says. shes also not a fan of confrontation !!!!!!!BUT!!!!!!!!!!!

 she is a FIREBALL when she stands up for others. i dont know how she hasnt gotten into a physical fight yet. she would literally rip ur side mirror off ur car if u didnt wait for an old lady to cross the street. is intense in every possible way. if shes angry, shes angry and impulsive and out of control, when she is in love, she feels it in her bones and simultaneously wants to rip her hair out, when she’s passionate about something, she is persistent until she isn’t and when she loses motivation, everything feels bleak .. theres never any emotional balance, even though she fights so hard for it every day 

likes sci fi movies .. literally when they are Floating in space ???? SIGN! JANE! THE! FUCK! UP! letterboxd is probably her favorite app. sometimes she will post a review, read it over and over, find something wrong with what she said and then delete it. shes very neurotic. she either has good days where she can comfortably be herself or bad days, when it feels like everyone is judging her every move when in reality. ... it is always .. all in her head. 

and she is mostly in her head. she creates fantasies of her life, relationships platonic and romantic and as a result, nothing ever seems to measure up. she feels secure in her fantasies but oftentimes when it hits her that they are just that, fantasies, she ... feels really alone. 

will trip over her own feet . has like 5 bruises from washing the dishes </3

she works as a part of a product design team in a big company.. probably has the knowledge to move up the tier but does not have the courage to stand up for herself . she doesnt believe in herself and is kind of a pessimist .......  

got high one night and decided she wants to start an uber ....... only for women. but doesnt think its a good ide a (its a good idea. id like to think in 10 years time ... bitch made it) 

really weird. likes eating broad beans and frozen strawberries .. will literally eat a lemon. 

she will have different interests every week but never seems to be any good at anything ???????????? makes her sad. 

claims tidying up with marie kondo changed her life LAKJDSKLDJ

*draws curtains* anybody else tired?