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strangerays · 4 years ago

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Nothing in Particular Update #2

It’s the Nothing and Particular and Everything update part two: the electric booglaloo. This one is long, so strap in.

It’s been a while since I wrote an update for this story. To be honest, this one gave me a lot of stress, but here I am! Writing this story feels like it is going very slow. I keep telling myself I’ve made a lot of progress (which is true, I have) but for some reason it doesn’t feel like I have? This is likely just my own insecurity. To be frank, I can’t believe I’m still writing this story. If you had told me in February that I’d still be writing this when the weather got warm, I would have laughed.

I am SO excited that I will finally be able to focus on writing now that I’m out of school. I’m afraid to speak the rough deadline that I’ve given myself for this story (the end of August-early September) but now that I’ve spoken it into existence, I hope I can finish! (I hope I can stop watching dumb videogame playthroughs and listening to The Magnus Archives and get something done)

Here is a link to the story introduction and previous update!

TAGLIST (ask to be +/-); @wannabeauthorzofija @a-completely-normal-writer @baguettethebooklover @corkytheguar @writeherewaiting

STORY CHANGES/THOUGHTS/IDEAS:

Here is a big one: I’ve been trying to write this story for myself. I started writing Ray’s story from a place that was personal to me, but I feel like, as that part of myself has begun to heal, I’ve started to think about what a reader would want out of the story. I’m realizing that this is my story so it has to be what I want. Drafts are drafts for a reason, so I’m going to try to get better at letting myself explore what is fun to me.

I always thought I was a discovery writer (I still sort of think I am) but as I’ve finished small sections of the story, I am finding that it’s very helpful to do a rough outline of scenes in upcoming chapters. (I also recommend turning to this if something doesn’t work and you need to retrace your steps!) Just helps me feel more organized!

Jude’s character has got to be one of the most difficult personalities I’ve ever written. Putting her beside Ray just makes it harder. Where Ray is secretive and keeps to herself, Jude is ready to unpack her entire life’s story to anyone. I find that I really have to slow down when writing their interactions. I know this is going to be nowhere near perfect in the first draft, but I think it is a main contributor to my slow writing.

I really like this little narrative I’ve created in the background of the main plot with Ray and Lonan. I love writing these scenes because it’s a way for me to use Lonan when he’s not actively with Ray and to show why Ray is predetermined about things at certain points. Also I love their friendship so much <3

CONGRATULATIONS TO ME on starting to read again because I forgot how much of a help reading other people’s stories can be when you’re struggling with your own oml

I now have a set timeline for the story! Takes place ~4-5 months.

I did that thing where you write a letter from the characters’ perspectives and that was kind of fun

Also just for fun I thought I’d add in that I spent an hour and a half last week filling up a page in my sketchbook with diagrams of the plot. It feels good to be a mad scientist

EXCERPTS UNDER THE CUT!

*At this point, I’m only sharing writing that I am really proud of in order not to spoil the story! This is because I am unsure whether I want to publish this story someday. With that said, that does NOT give you permission to steal my ideas!

CHAPTER: NIGHT CRIES

In the last week of summer, I did everything I could to avoid post-vacation blues. I rode my bike along the gravel roads with no destination, wore my dark sunglasses to people-watch, and fed salami to the minnows that floated on the cusps of boulders. Usually, I sat still for so long that my elbows turned a deep shade of red and the blood in my toes buzzed.

New pockets seemed to open up in Point Blink every day. And with them, came new people. Most of them were older – a middle aged woman who caked her lipstick on, an uncle estranged from his brother, a couple who had miscarried. I hadn’t forgotten about the kids at Mothouse. It was impossible not to think about them. It wasn’t just that I’d never seen them before.

The girl’s limp cigarette bled a trail of smoke that seeped into my Vans. My shirt folded like skin over my bed post. Haunted the room – foiled my mauve sheets and teased my locks. Swept the curtains apart and heated the oak floor. Beams of moonlight leapt to my bookcases; highlighted the posters from various podcasts and bands that I listened to. Wind whistled when I was too still. She forced me to look outside, onto the dark cul-de-sac lit by the reflections of forming rain puddles. No matter whether I sat at my desk or burrowed under my sheets, I felt out of place. She made my bedroom louder. She made my bedroom quieter.

I decided it would probably be best if I never saw her again.

To be honest, I don’t remember much about writing this chapter because it was over a month ago (sorry) but I’m still quite happy with the prose! This comes in after Ray sees Jude for the first time at Mothouse. Based on a first impression, decides that she might want be friends with Jude.

CHAPTER: SORRY

If you spend any long amount of time with someone, you’ll become a thief to their behaviors. If I stared long enough, trees began to replace all of the people we’d ever seen. Oaks had roots that serpentined the ground like children splashing in the bay, pines with needles like spindly old hands, maples with hollows like watchful eyes – all things Lonan had taught me to observe.

CHAPTER: GHOSTS

Then there was the sea – violent and knowing as it romped within bays and alcoves. She had eaten me many times before, both my father and Lonan too. Gulped them as if they were shining plastic wrappings left behind after a meal. I spited her for inviting me once again. I reached up again to grapple with the next rung. It twisted and offered a low whistle.

In these two chapters, Ray is on a photography trip with her class. This is the first time she’s been on this annual trip without Lonan. She left that morning with a goal of being independent and learning to get on with one of the only people she has felt close to. I realize now that the Ghost excerpt sort of sounds like her dad and Lonan have drowned?? Which was not my intention??

CHAPTER: A DIVINE INTERVENTION

“Do you believe in ghosts?” A raspy voice teased from behind me. Cigarette smoke tickled the words, like they were stuck together with jelly inside of her. The question wasn’t particularly calming, but it strengthened my grip on reality. As if the foiled leaves, bark, and dandelions had sprung from the ground and begun to float, they came crashing back down.

I was made of stone.

“I’m not a ghost,” Jude said. “If I was, a ladder would be a pretty counteractive way to outrun me. I could just float up there and haunt you.”

“Maybe you’re a ghost,” she asked, her voice distant.

I shifted my grasp up and down the sides of the ladder. “What?”

“Don’t you believe in ghosts?”

I was reading back some of Ray and Jude’s conversation and there are so many snippets of dialogue that make me laugh because I totally forgot I wrote them... but UGhhH I don’t know if I want to share them because I don’t know whether or not I want to try and publish the story someday. Speaking of that, it’s sort of because it’s so personal to me? I don’t know (this is for future me to pursue) Honestly though, reading these back has made me really happy :)

I wanted to shake her by the shoulders. She acted as though Point Blink could breathe – as though corpses in the cemetery might pull the grass away like dead skin, neighbors would draw blades, and blood-salt would stain her clothes rather than that from the sea. “Trust me, they’ll forgive you. But, I’m just saying, most people around here don’t care nearly as much as you think so. Most of them are way older anyways, so they’re tired of us.”

“Is that you complimenting yourself?” Jude asked.

“Not intentionally,” I said, “but I will take it.”

She laughed. “You shouldn’t be so nice to strangers.”

I wasn’t trying to be. I just didn’t think I wanted her to dislike me.

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing or a good thing,” Jude said. “Being good gets you tucked into a thousand different memories. Being good makes you live a lifetime.”

I almost laughed, but then I wondered what I was to her now. “I don’t talk to lots of people.”

“Sometimes there aren’t many people to talk to. But I thought you would have loads of friends.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. “I thought you would too.”

Alarm like grief lit her eyes, but she laughed. I did too.

“You hardly know me,” she said quietly.

Then the girls explore some old newspapers and letters in a fire tower! Spooky fun!

CHAPTER: YOU LET THIS HAPPEN

This isn’t a major spoiler as it’s literally in the blurb I wrote, but Ray and Jude are caught (targeted..??) in a fire. Ray is brought back to a field where she is questioned.

CHAPTER: NOTHING HAPPENS

He was quiet for several moments while he painted a picture with what little details I had given him, then said, “It’s unfair. I think that’s why it hurts.”

“Because we almost got hurt?”

“No. Because it came true.”

His gentle, ragged voice made me think I could tell him anything. Sometimes, I think that, even then, he knew I left something out.

Ray talks to Lonan after the fire... She’s being a bit dishonest about what actually happened.

CHAPTER: WHY NOT

I remember how the barest amount of red light glared across Lonan’s entire scalp and washed his boyish curls magenta from the roots out. When Jude leaned back on the counter, she melded into the darkness.

This chapter is just part of the narrative that I created with Ray and Lonan’s friendship. There isn’t much I want to spoil from it, but I liked this paragraph!

CHAPTER: INEVITABLE

“We didn’t do anything,” I said.

“Someone did. Why won’t you believe me?”

“I think I would remember whether or not someone was there with us,” I said, “even if we didn’t have the picture.”

This was untrue. I hung lots of photos in my room. A long time would pass before I went to a restaurant again, or a specific coven on one of the beaches, or an outfit that I wore, and I would look into one of my pictures and remember it, and then I would be quite angry with myself that I had almost forgotten that thing forever.

“I don’t think you understand what I mean,” Jude said. I didn’t like the way she’d lowered her voice. She sounded different every time I saw her. She reached out her arm so our photos were side by side and our fingers were almost touching. “I don’t think you want to.”

Ray finds herself alone in the school’s dark room with Jude. Based on the contents of one of her photos, she tries to convince Ray that there is more to the fire than what meets the eye.

CHAPTER: (this one is untitled)

I didn’t mind that he followed me everywhere. Even when he was quiet, I didn’t find it strange to be around him. We sat silently through films and went on walks. Once, he had fallen asleep while watching The Iron Giant in my bed. I didn’t know if I should wake him up once it ended. I tried not to stare at him. He’d rolled onto his side and bundled himself in one of my blankets covered in stars up to his shoulders so only his small face poked out like a baby owl’s. His soft breath messed his dirty gold coils. They were at their longest. Except for the ebbing light from a candle on my desk, my house was asleep – Lonan needed to go home.

For the first time, I wondered if anyone cared where he was.

Another small part of the little friendship narrative! (This really is the part of the story where I get nostalgic for my childhood, isn’t it) Ray starts to discover more about Lonan’s home life in this part of the story, but there’s not much that I think I want to reveal about that for now.

CHAPTER: THE CRUX OF IT

Why did I feel so paranoid? I found myself staring out the window, into the film of blue that the late sun shown onto the grass and trying to remember what summer felt like.

My main problem was that I didn’t know how to talk to Jude unless it was about Sugarfell. I ran from the hush of cigarette smoke behind closing doors and heard her loud voice in conversations. Even though there might have still been a part of me that wanted to be friends with her, I didn’t have much to base that feeling off of. I could have spent hours clicking the little pieces of her that I had together, but the crux of it was that I would never know Jude unless I forced myself to.

For some reason, that really scared me.

I spent all week trying to think of what to say to her. By Friday afternoon, I still had nothing.

I left off writing with Ray actively avoiding Jude’s little investigation into the arsonist. Ray doesn’t want to be involved in this because she feels that it will throw her sense of normalcy off course. She really just wants to learn how to adapt to a life without her best friend. (It doesn’t help that she’s got fresh trauma)

What will Ray decide? I don’t know. We shall see. (just kidding I know)

Sorry this update was longer! I think I would like to start updating more often than once a month just because they would be shorter and those of you reading this won’t forget what happened in the last update. There are thousands and thousands of words that didn’t show up in this update because - like I said - I don’t know whether I want to publish this story ever?? I’ll probably talk more about this in a separate update.

Thank you so much to those of you who read about my story! I hope you enjoy it!

p.s. btw I now have a myWriteClub account! You can check it out here and stalk me as I tragically fail my writing goals!

#ffs writing this update was like throwing a boulder into a lake #there was so much I wanted to share #it's really difficult to decide what to share as sometimes a paragraph that I'm really proud of will be really spoilery #I can only imagine this will be more and more difficult as I get further into the story #ANYWAYS #I feel like I'm really beginning to see who my characters are <3 #I feel like a proud mother #To be honest #I kind of hated Jude in the beginning #but now I feel like Ray hates her too so that makes me like her #haha im so mean #tune in next time for a Sapphic spy date

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juststruggling · 4 years ago

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Update on me speaking

I’ve been almost completely mute for about 2 days. At most I’ll say a couple of words, but that’s it. Again I don’t know why perhaps I’m stressed out, but I’ve never been mute this long. Usually, it’s about an hour or 2. Usually, people don’t even notice when I do it, but now there’s no hiding it. My mom thinks I’m upset, and I try to explain to her, but she’s not getting it. I wanted to be on the phone with my friends so I told them in advance. I don’t think they understand. One of them thought I just meant I wanted some time alone, and another tried to relate? Like I’m not being shy. I’m deadass mute I can talk I just won’t I can’t intentionally bring myself to talk. I feel like a child :\

#mute #ever since i got audio overstimulated i haven't really talked and i don't know why #i don't know what to do if it exceeds longer than I'll ask my mom to take me somewhere #there are times when i want to talk i just cant bring myself to do it and it annoys the hell out of me #its literally summer and im at home 24/7 what reason do i have to be mute #my mom thinks im only not talking to her but i haven't talked to anyone #bro i feel like im doing this for attention #shout out to all the mute and nonverbal folks out there its difficult navigating things even at home #im just glad people aren't begging me to talk because that would be torture #this is one of the many things i wish i could get answers for so i don't feel like an outcast #if you have answers please tell me #mutism #selective mutism #situational mutism

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dreamescapeswriting · 5 years ago

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Green eyed Monster ~ PJM [Request]

➳➳➳Word Count: 3K

➳➳➳Genre: Angst, fluff

➳➳➳Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

➳➳➳A/N: I adore Halsey so much, she’s one of my inspirations lmao….Also this is so bad because I have writers block, it’s really starting to make me struggle right now but I am trying so Im sorry. If this isn’t what you wanted let me know and I will try again.

You'd never really experienced jealously until now at this moment, your body was boiling with jealously just from watching Jimin with her, but you knew there was nothing to worry about and he would never do anything to hurt you intentionally but it didn't stop your mind from racing all over the place and your brain jumping to from conclusion to conclusion without stopping to think logically. Jimin loved you and you loved Jimin that should be the only thing that mattered but the little green-eyed monster sitting on your shoulder didn't see it that way. It had all started because you wanted to surprise him while he was out here in America, thinking it would be a nice surprise but once you arrived you saw he had his mind on something else,

You were exhausted from work that day, you were working overtime to try and save up tickets to go and visit your boyfriend in America. Jimin had flown over for a series of concerts and you were left at home to work and look after your shared apartment but it didn't stop you from wanting to fly out and see him.

"Another day another dollar." You grumbled shoving the tip money you'd gotten that night into a glass jar you kept under your bed, you looked over at the clock on the wall and you knew you had an hour before your call with Jimin meaning you could go and have a shower so he wouldn't know you'd only just gotten in from work. It was a secret that you were going to fly out a see him, Taehyung had told you he would help you with the plane ticket if you wanted but you decided it was better for you to pay because you hated when other people paid for things for you. It had been that way since you started dancing Jimin, you made it clear you didn't want him to pay for everything because you didn't want him to think you were just using him for the money which he didn't think anyway, but he respected that was how you felt about the situation.

"Hi baby," You sang in the phone expecting the caller to be Jimin but when you heard Taehyung laughing you felt your heart sink a little, not that you didn't love talking to Tae but you were missing your boyfriend a lot.

"Hello to you too." He chuckled and you smiled softly to yourself trying to stay positive about why Jimin was late for his call, he was probably just busy with practice or something.

"Sorry, I thought you were Jimin." You sounded defeated and Taehyung knew how hard you were trying to stay happy for Jimin it was always the same when he went away. You would be happy for him because you knew how much everything meant to Jimin so you would never do anything to come in between him and his dream you just hated the distance the most when it came down to it.

"How much do you have?" He questioned wanting to know if there was anything he could do to help you out,

"I have enough for a taxi from here to the airport." You grumbled looking over at the money jars you'd taken out to count while you waited for Jimin to call you.

"Let me help you, by this rate you'll be able to see him in three tours time." You knew he was right but you didn't feel good taking money from him,

"Think of it as a loan, pay me back when you earn the money." You hummed and he chuckled getting excited to see you.

"Where is he anyway?" You asked looking at the clock it was one am for you in Korea which meant it was around 9 am for Jimin in Las Vegas, they were getting ready to prepare for the performance at the Billboard Music Awards.

"He's trying to teach Halsey the dance with Namjoon, the dance was changed when we sent it over to her." You hummed and smiled, you'd loved Halsey's music for ages and you were glad they were finally working with someone who wasn't just going to use them for their fame.

"Is she nice?" You asked getting into bed and laying down, Taehyung began telling you about all the time they'd been spending with her for the last two days and you smiled fondly.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself Tae," You whispered finally feeling the effects of the long day you'd had,

"I'll get your ticket ready for tomorrow your time, late as possible okay?" You hummed and he smiled to himself knowing how much it was going to mean to Jimin that you were willing to fly out and see him.

"Goodnight Y/n," Tae whispered hanging up the phone and going to find you a plane ticket that was accessible for you at the earliest convenience.

When you arrived he was busy and you understood that it was his job to be busy but it didn't make it any easier to see him all over Halsey, watching them dancing and laughing together as though you weren't in the room. No one but the boys and management knew you were together, it was supposed to be kept a secret from everyone because it was easier to control what got out about the relationship that way.

"Y/n come here," Namjoon called noticing that you were staring at Jimin and Halsey from across the room, you slowly made your way over to the leader and kept your eyes trained at the ground.

"You're supposed to be keeping a low profile." He mumbled to you and you stared up at him, by that he meant stop staring at Jimin all the time you were going to make it obvious. There were cameras everywhere documenting the boys time with her for a series Halsey was doing for her fans.

"Sorry, it's just a little hard when he's all over her-"

"He's just doing his job, leave it." He finished for you before you could even get your words out, you nodded and walked away from him going back to the corner of the room you were sitting in. Taehyung came over to join you with a bottle of water and some snacks for you but you weren't hungry, you were too busy looking at Halsey and comparing her to yourself in every way you could and in your mind she was perfect in every way you weren't. Even dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie she looked amazing,

"I'm not hungry." You mumbled taking the water and slowly drinking from the bottle but keeping your eyes on them. His hands were lingering on her skin and ou felt yours boil,

"Has he introduced you yet?" Taehyung asked noticing where your eyes were going and you shook your head,

"He said he would last night but I know he's busy." You whispered trying not to come across as the jealous girlfriend. You weren't normally jealous, he was always surrounded by beautiful women but this felt different to you for some reason.

"Jimin!" Tae yelled beckoning him over, Halsey followed him and smiled at you bringing you into a tight hug and smiling.

"I'm Halsey,"

"I'm Y/n I'm-"

"Taehyung's best friend." Jimin rushed out, you and Taehyung both stared at Jimin and he was smiling at Halsey who was smiling back at you.

"Well it's nice to meet you Y/n best friend of Taehyung," You nodded and looked at her as she walked away, Jimin stayed behind for a couple of seconds.

"I know how to introduce myself Jimin, I'm just a friend to everyone else who doesn't know about us." He stared at you, he felt guilty for it coming across the way he did but he panicked not knowing if you were going to tell her or not.

"Plus I thought I was your best friend?" You giggled poking his cheeks but instead of blushing like he normally would at the action he moved away from your touch and looked around to make sure no one had noticed. You felt your heartbreak a little when he pushed your hand away and went back over to the dance floor, you tried to push it down that he was just a little nervous about the performance but then you saw them together again. Holding eye contact and smiling to each other, laughing at something you hadn't heard.

"He's just stressed about the stage." Taehyung tried to tell you but you knew he wasn't, you'd see Jimin nervous about something before and this wasn't Jimin nervous. This was Jimin flirting with someone else and you could feel your heart shattering whenever you heard them laughing at something,

"You should go and practise, I don't want to hold you all back." You whispered to Taehyung who slowly left you alone in the corner of the room to go to his position on the dance floor and continued to dance along with the boys.

You'd left the practise early to go back to the hotel room, you were tired from the plane ride and wanted to sleep a little before the big stage performance they would be putting on later. The door to your hotel room banged opened and Jimin was standing there with a giant smile on his face, you hadn't seen him smile that much in so long and it filled you with an immense amount of happiness that you jumped up from the bed to find out what he was so happy about.

"What's put you in such a good mood?" You giggled as he pulled you into his arms, his left arm was hanging around your waist and he bent down to kiss you making you giggle against him.

"Can a boyfriend just be happy to be with his girlfriend?" You giggled once again and kissed him your arms wrapping around his neck to bring yourself closer to him.

"I also have this-" He pulled away from you to show you the small bracelet which was around his wrist, you stared at it with a smile.

"A friendship bracelet from Halsey!" You continued to stare at the small bracelet and forced yourself to keep the smile on your face, you didn't want to show him that it was bothering you so much.

"She's like a best friend." You looked down at the floor and smiled,

"That's great Jimin, I'm glad you like her so much already." It was true, you were happy he was getting along with her it wasn't as though he wasn't allowed to have friends that weren't girls, he had plenty but this one was bothering you for some reason. You loved Halsey but maybe it was because of how he'd introduced you or the way he pushed you to the side when she was around but it was bothering you more than it should have done.

"I'm going to have a shower before tonight, do you want to join me?" You giggled pulling at his sweatpants strings towards the en-suite but he was staring at the phone and shaking his head,

"We're going to eat with Halsey,"

"We?" Your heart picked up thinking it was you and the boys with Halsey but he turned to look at you,

"Yeah, we're going to do a small interview there with her camera crew." Your heart slowed back down again and you nodded,

"Okay...Shall I meet you back here or am I going to the venue?" You asked looking at him and he shrugged his shoulders,

"Whatever is easier for you." With that, he left the room without giving you a kiss or a hug goodbye and you felt your heart dropping back down to your stomach at the thought of him being with her again. Did he not want to be seen with you? Were you embarrassing to him? You decided you were going to be as normal as you could manage tonight, picking out one of the best dresses you'd brought along with you and going to meet them at the venue.

You were dressed in an off the shoulder black skater dress which was thigh length and you were waiting in the changing room for the boys to come backstage and be with you, you knew you couldn't be out on the floor with them which is why you were in the changing room watching everything on a screen. The chemistry was hot on stage and you were proud of how amazing they had performed in spite of your feelings of jealously from before everything pushed away once you saw how it all worked on stage. Taehyung was the first one backstage with you and he picked you up in the air making you giggle at him being so childish with you,

"Ah! You guys did amazing!" You laughed and then looked at the sunflower shirt he was wearing,

"I'm so stealing this from you after tonight." Halsey started laughing from behind you, Taehyung put you back down on the ground and you hugged her once again.

"It's nice to see you again, I'm sorry you couldn't make it to dinner Jimin said you had a headache." You slowly nodded as you pulled away from her,

"Yeah but I'm all good now." You complimented her white suit and she complimented the dress that you were wearing, you were hitting it off amazingly until Jimin came over and threw his arms around you both and it brought back the fact that he told a lie to you and Halsey.

"You're so happy lately," You giggled looking up at him as he smiled down at you, Halsey was over talking to Namjoon and you were alone with Jimin.

"I have my two favourite girls with me, why wouldn't I be happy?" You smiled fakely and leant up to whisper in his ear,

"My headache is back I think I might go back to the hotel room." You felt him tense up as you mentioned the lie he'd told Halsey, you pulled away and locked eye with him.

"Baby-" You walked over to Taehyung and told him you weren't feeling well and that you would see him the next day instead,

"I hope you feel better soon," Halsey said with a pout wrapping you in a tight hug once again,

"I'll walk out with you." She said quick goodbyes to the boys and rushed out of the room with you, once you were alone in the hallway with no one but her bodyguard she linked your arms together.

"I'm sorry about Jimin, I had no idea you were dating." You shook your head trying to laugh off what she'd said,

"I-I'm just their friend, me and Jimin-"

"Relax, I know the signs." You sighed and rounded a corner she was still holding onto your arms,

"If I'd have known I never would have flirted back with him." You shook your head at her and smiled softly,

"It's fine, it's just in his blood to flirt." You mumbled but she didn't seem convinced that you were fine and wanted to somehow make it up to you for what she'd been doing,

"We'll go to dinner tomorrow and have a pamper night, how long are you in town for?" She was really trying to be friendly with you and you were excited about it you'd never really had girl friends before, just a couple of friends from school but you rarely spoke to them.

"I'd love that actually, I can't remember the last time I had a pamper night...I'm here for the rest of the week." She smiled agreeing to make more plans with you when she had the time but she was late, she handed you her number and let you leave in one of her cars back to the hotel.

The week had been by in a flash and now you were back home with Jimin in your shared apartment, after that night with Halsey and him lying to you both you talked it all out. He promised he meant no harm by anything he'd been doing and you promised him it was fine.

"Who are you texting?" He asked once he noticed you smiling so much at your phone, you smiled at him and showed him the collection of photographs that Halsey had sent you.

"It's from the week, did I tell you she took me dancing?!" You asked excitedly showing him videos of you both on the dance floor doing the boy with Luv dance, she was really fun to hang around with and Jimin could feel himself getting jealous by the second. Ever since you'd been hanging around with Halsey that week she was all you could talk about and he was starting to see why you were so off with him last week.

"Jimin look." You giggled showing him the matching necklaces that you and Halsey had gotten on the last day, it was a love heart locket with a photo of you both inside and your initials carved onto the front.

"Your little green-eyed monster is showing Jimin." You teased as he walked away with a pout on his lips, you chased after him and threw your arms around his neck jumping up onto his back and kissing his head.

"I LOVE YOU!" You yelled making him chuckle, he pulled you back down to the floor and stood in front of you, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you sweetly,

"I am sorry for what I did." You hummed and kissed him again,

"Makeup sex for the 16th time this week?" You giggled kissing down his neck and sucking along the skin, he groaned out your name and you smirked knowing the effect you had on him.

"Come on then." He chuckled putting your phone down on the table and running with you up to your room together.

Tagline:

@yoongisdumplingcheeks @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @jooniesdarlingdimples @kpopfanfictionhoes @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @callingmyangel @btsiguess-kpop @rjsmochii

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minaminokyoko · 5 years ago

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I know I’m screaming into the void here, but

Can we talk about the lack of HarriKarri content in Peace Talks?

Spoilers for Peace Talks below. Also, a very long rant.

Disclaimer: Recently, the reading community has been having conversations about expectations related to professional authors backed by one of the Big Six or equivalent traditional publishing companies. The points I’m about to bring are not me being entitled. I understand that Jim Butcher is not obligated to give me everything I want. I will not demand that he do so. I just want to have a conversation about something I feel is oddly dissatisfying about the content in Peace Talks related to Harry and Murphy, which is my own opinion, and said opinion isn’t going to be slung at the author or anything distasteful like that.

Right, so, to give some context, I’m not a fan of Peace Talks. I read it once and then just sat on my couch for several hours after trying to figure out what to even do with myself because I waited six years for what I consider to be an underwhelming book that was mostly just set up for Battle Ground. I mention it because I admit that if we get Battle Ground in September and all the content in Harry and Murphy’s relationship that was missing in Peace Talks is in Battle Ground, fine, I’ll retract my statements. Some fans have already expressed that they can’t really review Peace Talks or give opinions on it because it feels so much like a companion piece that you can’t evaluate it until you’ve read Battle Ground, as the book seems to be nothing but the precursor to Battle Ground. It doesn’t stand on its own very well, at least not in my eyes, but let me get to the point.

The reason I’ve been feeling angry and betrayed by Peace Talks’ lack of HarriKarri content isn’t just because I’m the Queen of the Harry/Murphy trashpile. I’m not speaking strictly as a shipper this time. Y’all know me. I mean, look, I’ve written 185k words of Harry/Murphy fanfiction, most of which was written during the incredibly long wait between Skin Game and Peace Talks. Yes, I know, it’s hypocritical of me to say I’m not writing this post because I’m a big dumb shipper queen. I do mean it that I sincerely think it’s outright bizarre that we got so little insight into how these two best fire-forged friends and lovers are doing in a romantic relationship.

Let me make my case here. Okay, so the first thing is that romance is a huge element in this series. Harry’s love life is important not only to him as a character, but it actually plays directly into the plot, from Susan’s selfish stupidity to Elaine’s mistrust to Luccio’s mysterious manipulation to Lasciel’s Heel Face Turn. If someone wanted to argue the reason we didn’t see much of Harry and Murphy together as a couple is because romance isn’t the primary focus of the series, that’s not going to hold water. The connection between Harry and his paramours has always been a large element in each of these books in various ways. That’s probably the first thing that signaled that something was off about Peace Talks.

Think about the previous books. Harry’s relationships are both a source of comfort and conflict for him, allowing him to learn and grow as a character, and none moreso than his relationship with Murphy. I have so many of their scenes vividly memorized by now because of how important both friendship and love are to Harry and to Murphy as well. There are milestones that they’ve reached starting from Storm Front onward. I would honestly argue it is the most developed relationship in the series, in terms of how much these two trust and respect and love one another and understand where they fit into the other person’s life. I remember reading that bit in White Night where Bob says they swapped souls through a hug and that left a huge impression on me because I think that’s what soulmates would look and sound like in real life (wouldn’t know, I am single af and going to die an old cat lady.) It’s to a point where, in my honest opinion, there is no Harry without Murphy. She is the other half of his soul. Where he is weak, she is strong, where she is weak, he is strong, and they move forward through every conflict knowing that about each other. And I think the reverse is true. We saw how Murphy took Harry’s disappearance and death—it fucking broke her. Her entire personality and beliefs came crashing down and while she was still able to function in his absence, she was just as much a ghost as he was.

So why the fuck wasn’t there anything in Peace Talks illustrating just how vital this relationship is?

I’m not keen on reading the book again, but from what I remember, we were given roughly three significant interactions between Harry and Murphy that had anything to do with their romance: Harry at the house while she’s recovering, the scene where she takes the casts off, and then her talking to him after Ebenezar almost kills him. And…that’s it. Do they still interact in the book? Yes. But it’s nothing memorable, aside from the threesome suggestion (in all fairness, that was hilarious, and it was even more hilarious to me that both Harry and Murphy didn’t outright say no).

Why is that weird? Because I can seriously name book by book how many significant conversations and scenes that Harry and Murphy have that develop their dynamic, sexy, fun, beautiful relationship…and yet the book where they’re actually together, after sixteen goddamn books, has almost nothing.

And it shouldn’t be like that at all.

I know my own bias. Really, I do. I’ve written so many Harry/Murphy fics that I was bound to be let down when we actually got the canon relationship, but the difference between me being let down and me feeling betrayed is that it feels like it’s for no reason. There are plenty of spots in the book considering it’s kind of short where Butcher could have given us insight into the way they hooked up for the first time. I know I don’t speak for the entire fandom, but I do know there are enough of you who like me wanted to know about their first “official” date or seeing how the people in his life reacted to them finally getting together after so many years. That’s not just shipper trash. That’s satisfying storytelling payoff. It is extremely important to us as readers and to the actual narrative itself that we see what it’s like for Harry and Murphy to be in a mature romantic relationship. Both of them have been longing and pining for each other for ages, and yet Butcher doesn’t give us the meaty bits we’re dying to chomp our teeth into. For God’s sake, Harry was hung up on the little things about Murphy, like her riding her motorcycle or her cute nose and ear lobes or the way she smiles or how she gives him the sass right back to his face. Yet we don’t get any indication of the momentous event of the first time he actually got to second base (or more) with her. We don’t see any of the things that we were clamoring for because these are two best friends giving in to serious feelings and that’s a huge deal since they’ve both pretty much been smitten since Storm Front.

It’s not a matter of appeasing shippers at this point. This relationship is a huge change that is important to both of them, and we didn’t get jackshit about the transition from friends to lovers. Hell’s bells, there’s an entire genre of fics in every work of fiction devoted to this trope and yet Butcher just skipped over it. I swear I’m not making mountains out of molehills. It doesn’t make sense that all the previous books with the exception of Dead Beat (since Murphy was out of town) have significant moments between Harry and Murphy that build on their friendship and partnership yet the moments in Peace Talks are way too short and aren’t anything groundbreaking or memorable. And this is them canonically together, heading for the iceberg, being with the person they love dearly. I want to know what that’s like because I care about them and it feels inorganic that it’s brushed off for plot or other things instead.

I don’t get it. I truly don’t. If Butcher is waiting to unleash the content I want in Battle Ground, I guess that’ll help, but after so much build up, why in God’s name wouldn’t you explore all the things we want to know about how their romance is going? Harry and Murphy have been through literal hell together, for God’s sake. They’re both cagey and in extremely stressful situations—especially poor Karrin—and yet it’s just brushed aside time and time again. It would keep us grounded to see how they handle it as it is one of the few nice things in their lives that they have left.

Those of you who know Butcher know that he’s one of the sadist authors. I know that too. He thinks it’s funny to make us angry and frustrate us and he may have already said it in an interview or a podcast why he chose not to go into detail about the romance (feel free to link me if he has) but for the first time in my life, I think that’s not good enough. It’s not a good enough excuse for Butcher to giggle and intentionally not give us the content we want just because he thinks it’s funny. Yes, as the author, you choose what you write, but this is a slap in the face to people who have been reading these books for so many years and rooting for Harry and Murphy to get their shit together and be happy. We know how the series is gonna end—fucking bloody as hell—so these precious moments are that much more important. If he’s said he didn’t include romantic elements in this book because “haha trollface,” then he can fuck off. We’ve invested time in this series. We care about the relationship and there are so many creative, fun things that could have come out of seeing them together after all this build up.

And yeah, I know, I can write another 185k words of fix it fics and missing scenes. I probably will anyway. I’m frustrated because this isn’t just some shallow checkmark romance in an urban fantasy series. These two are incredible characters and it’s a negative reflection on the work itself when Butcher spent all the time in previous books building up the sexual tension and the pining and the deeply felt affection only to just cut to curtains fluttering when they’re about to get to the hanky panky or just have a quick “I love you” in the tub or the brief talk about family at the end. There are so many conversations they could have had. There are so many scenarios with the potential for romance even with their chastity belts firmly in place due to Murphy’s injuries. This isn’t about sex. This is about fulfilling a precedent that Butcher purposely set up and then just seemed to wave it off for some reason. I’m not saying the book is bad because we didn’t get the content; I’m saying it would’ve been a lot goddamn better if we’d gotten that content.

Butcher’s gonna Butcher. No one can change it. I can’t make demands. My fifteen bucks doesn’t mean I get to call the shots and tell the man what to write.

But I just want to note that I thought it was a pretty shitty choice to exclude it.

Sigh. See you guys in Battle Ground, I guess.

And also AO3.

I’m gonna write a fuckton of missing scenes and no one can stop me.

#The Dresden Files #Dresden Files #Peace Talks #Jim Butcher #Harry Dresden #Karrin Murphy #HarriKarri #Harry/Murphy #rant #spoilers #spoiler alert

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why-are-you-even-here-tho · 3 years ago

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okay people. i’m gonna be spitting a lot of Words. because i’m feeling a lot of Feelings at the moment and i don’t know how to express them through any other methods so. yeah.

this is just gonna be me venting so. probably wouldn’t recommend reading but idk u do u i guess. i put most of the things that i think are triggers in the tags, but i’m actual shit at tagging so. if literally anything is gonna affect you negatively just. don’t read. i can’t tag everything and yeah. idk. to the cut now i guess. bye.

hi lmaooo what the fUCK am i writing lmaoo

so. first. my past week has been fucking shit.

first, i was super fuckin stressed cause i had chair placement auditions for band, a 70 point spanish vocab test, and a 5-7 minute presentation of elizabethan crime and punishment all due in the span of two fucking hours on wednesday. and my stepmother. has the fucking a u d a c i t y. to tell me that i’m actually only allowed to study (on my computer, where everything is) for one hour after school each day. like honey i can’t control what i’m fuckin assigned. and she’s already shitty with me cause she thinks that i’m not doing anything when i’m on my computer (which, despite what you all have seen of me, is not true lmao). so she’s super fuckin dumb about that.

second. my chickens. which i call my chickens because, up until recently, i was the only person that did jack shit for those fuckin birds. literally. stepmother bought the food and sold the eggs. maybe went outside once every couple weeks. it pissed me off but you know. whatever. that’s not even what i’m talking about this time. but she goes out there, before i do my daily stuff for them, and comes back in- whirlwind if pissed off cause the stuff isn’t done. like honey i haven’t done that yet. and she gets bitchy cause i haven’t done it yet and starts to go on about how she knew that i secretly hated the chickens and that she bet that i intentionally fucking killed some of them (cause a few of them actually disappeared this week)?? like what in the fUCK??? i would never fuckin do that??? and i love hearing her complain about what food and water is full to the top as if she bothers doing literally anything to help with them. so i’m now not even allowed in my own fucking backyard because apparently i’m a fuckin serial chicken killer. fuck that.

third. i had. the audacity to forget an entire assignment. and stepmother dearest sees it. and goes fuckin apeshit. i am the epitome of disrespectful and useless and such a little bitch and stupid and do i need someone to go with me to school every day and hold my hand and remind me to breathe? and like. i can take that, in a way. it’s the normal shit i get from this woman. what really, for some odd reason, got me this time? when she asked, i think completely sincerely, actually, if there was some sort of implant that could make me better. like bitch. i’m not a fucking dog, you don’t need to fucking chip me so you know where i am all the time. i’m not a fucking robot that needs a fucking upgrade so that my fucking memory is better. i haven’t really said anything to her (or anyone really) about this (cause i don’t fuckin trust her not to give me shit because of it) but i have. a fuckin Issue. with fuckin dehumanization. and that hit. every single fucking button. so i’m fucking pissed and just decide that hey. i’m gonna go to my room for a minute. so i don’t fucking murder my dad’s wife. and i get shit for that too!!! like what in the fUCK???? and now i’m at my grandma’s for some length of time. in fuckin exile.

fourth, because i feel like it’s its own thing. my stepmom. as i’m going to my grandma’s for my tommyinnit arc. stops me for a minute. uses her “i’m being genuine (lie) and just trying to make you understand my point of view (with the attitude that it is the only one that matters cause yeah) because being me is hard :(” voice. tells me. “I just want to help you, but you being here makes me think about hurting myself.” which. yes, i understand is not a thing to just dismiss. i do kinda feel shitty about it. but also. 2 things. one, she said it in such a tone of voice that practically screamed “this is a lie to make you feel like shit”. and two, she?? also does this?? to me??? like honey. the blood on the inside of the thighs of my pants and the pocketknife blade hidden in my jewelry box are saying a bit more about “thinking about hurting myself” than you, sitting there on the couch, rewatching game of thrones for the third time. i sound like an asshole in this bit. but i’m just. fuckin angry.

fuckin angry and fuckin pissed at myself. cause maybe if i didn’t fuck that assignment up, i’d not be in so much trouble. if i did the chicken stuff earlier that day i’d be at home still. if i could focus more in class my parents might not be as easy to piss off. if i were just. better. if i were not. like this. if i could do more than just “try to” change. if i could look at my issues and actually work to fix them rather than staying up till midnight on a weekday, spending over an hour typing a fucking essay about the shit i’ve been through this week that nobody is gonna read. maybe even if i just. weren’t here.

i wasn’t supposed to exist. there were. so many signs. telling my parents that they shouldn’t have kids. one - the fact?? that my mom had no less than four miscarriages??? before she got pregnant with me??? one would think that they may stop trying after like. two. and my mom already had one son! it was with her first husband (red flag right there lmao) but she had! a kid! already! why go through all that pain? idk. i’m not, and never will be, a parent. two - my parents! actually did! decide to stop trying! to have a kid! and then my bitchy little -9 month old ass was like “hey bitches are you ready for 16 years of hell?” three - there were so many issues with my (i mean. not mine but the only one i’ve been involved in) pregnancy. like. mom got badly sick like. 3 times. she told me one day that her doctor told her that it would be healthier for me? if she kept smoking while she was pregnant???? so that’s fun. and i’m positive that it was not just nicotine. yeah. fun. don’t necessarily have an issue with weed but like. bro. you’re pregnant. no thanks. four - i was a cesarean. not that that’s really an issue. but. i felt like it might go on here. five - i refused! to breathe! on my own! for almost 24 hours! this might have meant something!!!!!

i don’t even know what i’m writing anymore honestly. i’m feeling emotions and i hate it. it’s midnight. i’ve spent over an hour writing this. why am i not working on my fic. bye.

i would like access to alcohol please lmao

#ask to tag #tw caps #caps tw #murder tw #tw murder #tw sh #sh tw #tw self harm #self harm tw #tw smoking #smoking tw #tw alcohol #alcohol tw #istg every other word in this is fuck lmao #oops

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asdmumramblings · 4 years ago

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THE BEAUTY OF AUTISM AND HOMESCHOOLING

Becoming a parent is the best thing I have ever done. There will never be another accomplishment that matches the joy they bring to my life. All three of my brood have been diagnosed with Autism. Scarlett was diagnosed at 5, Lillyanna at 10 and Edward at age 3. They all have their own individual quirks and make me laugh, out loud, on a daily basis. Lillyanna and her best bud could easily become the next French and Saunders. Both are quick witted and possess the same dark sense of humour my husband is blessed with.

Yesterday, as I watched the news she unexpectedly exclaimed,

“That woman from China who ate bats, is like the best serial killer EVER!” Rather dark but yet a welcome distraction from the BBC.

She is visually very amusing too and captivating to watch. I am always left in fits when she describes things to me. She isn’t always intentionally funny but her ability to laugh at herself is one of the qualities I love about her. Like the time she was throwing a ball up in the air and catching it. I asked her a question mid throw, she forgot she even had a ball which abruptly landed on her head. We both started to laugh and were glad it was a soft ball.

Lillyanna currently has long covid and suffers extreme exhaustion. This has made homeschooling difficult. She doesn’t seem to gain much from the live sessions so we often print out the information and learn together. Well today we studied Science and energy consumption. Including calculations for KW used per hour and that sort of thing.

“This will be easy,” I though. “She is good at maths.” How wrong was I.

Although she is great at mechanical maths she has always struggled slightly with the worded questions. Many autistic people do because they have to pick out the relevant information buried within the text. Therefore we begun the task by underlining the information we needed. We talked through the calculations we needed to do. I had mentioned a couple of times that you can use a calculator for scientific related maths, yet she continued to perform complex equations on paper. Well done Lillyanna! although it was dragging things out so I decided to reiterate,

“Remember you don’t need to use long multiplication in science questions.” She then paused for a period of time. “What’s the matter? You okay?”

“I’m confused. I don’t know how to work it out.”

“But you know the calculation. Just find the answer. Remember you don’t need to do the long multiplication if you don’t want to.” I said expecting her to get her calculator. She looked really stressed and began to write random numbers down. “What are you doing?”

“Well you said, ` you don’t use long multiplication in Science.` I’m trying to find the answer without it.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t explain myself correctly. What I mean is you don’t need to work the answers out on paper in science, showing your working. You can use your calculator to find the answer instead.” We both enjoyed a chuckle over my lack of explanation and her literal thinking. Then we had to use percentages. Now she fully understands these when in maths class but asking her to use the information for Science. Well, it was like I was asking her to talk in another language. Science was then abandoned and you tube percentage reminder began.

“Why are you showing me this? I know how to do percentages.”

She is kidding right? Nope. I give you the `inability to transfer knowledge to new/other situations` conundrum. Many autistic people struggle with this concept. For instance if they learn a new skill at home they may not use that new skill in a school setting for some time. It’s as though their brain files information in a given section and will not access it automatically to use in other situations. This is where interventions come in handy. That and being clear on what you would like them to do. Something which I failed at today.

#homeschooling #autism #asd problems #asd #autistic life #autistic positivity

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mollydollyjournals · 4 years ago

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Maybe I need to just like. Scream. Loudly. For a few hours.

My concentration is still so bad I'm barely getting anywhere with this same set of nails. Still. I'm trying to keep working on it but my mind is just not doing it because I feel constantly on edge. This is day 3. One set of nails! Jesus they're not that good. I take a long time to do most things but my mind is really just not functioning.

I'm feeling really particularly isolated again. I have nothing to say that might be of interest to anyone else. I dont really even know how to respond to the small amount of interaction I do get. A friend has started being more talkative in our group chat and sent me a message asking for some info on nail art techniques - maybe I'm being self centred but I feel like it could at least partially be an effort to get me talking. If so I appreciate it. But I still dont really have anything to say beyond quick surface responses.

My mum asked if I'm going to see her this weekend. I wouldn't on Sundays because she has a zoom call with relatives I dont want to talk to. It occurred to me that saturday is tomorrow. Part of me wants to go to hers and drink red wine and just connect with someone. The one person who's almost always had my back, or at least has never seriously intentionally opposed me. I want to go see my dog and my kitten and tell her that actually I'm doing pretty bad, I'll probably be divorced by xmas and sometimes I hear things that arent particularly confusing or distressing but they're definitely not real.

But that's not how it works in our dynamic. She had a serious psychotic episode when I was a teenager, and I took care of it all. My younger brother has ongoing psychosis. It's in our family. If I say I hear things she'll only panic. My doctor knows so it's not a secret - if theres one thing I learned from both of their cases, it's not to stay in denial. But theres no point telling her. And the divorce stuff? She'll internalise it. One of her children is dead, one is an ongoing psychiatric case with not much of a future because he's also actually a pretty terrible person, and the last one is me. She feels bad enough because her "marriage failed," which is a weird phrase her generation seem to use. She told me before not to date other people in case it hurts my "marriage." She'll think it's that, and start spiralling about her history with my dad and the one guy she's dated since they divorced. She won't believe me and hb were fine having other relationships and the issues arent to do with that, and I dont have the energy to talk through her stuff again.

Maybe it's getting to me more than I think. It's not like I didnt know this shitstorm was coming. But now it advances. Like I heard the forecast before, but now I can see it on the horizon. Now I have to really truly consider moving out of the house and splitting up the cats and whatever else. Thinking about it, maybe i should talk to my mum. Itll almost definitely be her I move in with if it all goes through. But then maybe I should only talk about it if I'm sure.

I dont know. I'm jealous of everyone with good parental relationships. I still havent even texted my dad for his birthday. I guess I should do that. I kind of miss when all 4 of us go back to my dad's house for drinks, us and my half brother. But that's not going to happen for a long time yet, for all kinds of reasons. Maybe it never will again. I'm catastrophising I guess. But it's hard not to with the current track record. I just feel like there isnt any evidence of positive things. Really, truly. The best thing that's happened to me recently is I sent the rented carpet cleaner off and then saw that my cat did a big healthy shit in the middle of the carpet. I have to be happy about that because it means hes not losing his guts to diarrhea and vomiting like he was before. But I still have to deal with a hygienic nightmare and probably a stressed cat picking up on my mental state. And I still have to gauge the whole situation based on a literal pile of shit.

I feel like thinking positive is just kidding myself and giving into my genetic tendency towards psychosis. If I'm going to convince myself of something that isnt real in order to make myself feel better, why not lose myself in a fantasy entirely? I should just build an entire world where everything is okay and lock myself away in it. Why stop at just telling myself that this one bad thing or another won't happen.

I try my best to stay grounded in reality to avoid ending up in that kind of mental state. But reality is fucking tiring. I know my life isnt the worst in the world by far, I dont mean that. But we're all going through some extra shit these past couple of years. I struggle not to take that on too. Not that it even helps. We had a mass shooting here today and I'm thinking about the people who thought they were safe because they live in England where firearms are extremely rare, the parents of the child who died, the people living in that area who will feel so unsafe now, and all the pro-gun lobbyists in the US who will use this as a reasoning that gun control doesn't work thus keeping millions of other people at risk as long as those laws dont change. But god. I would be dead many times over if guns were as easy to buy here as they are over there.

And then I think about all the people that have been lost to situations like that. I'm multiracial and have family in multiple different places - I was always raised with the idea that you dont stop caring about people just because they're not in the same country as you. And it's true, you shouldnt. But I've internalised a lot of it as fear and sorrow and idk what else. Just bad feelings. Feeling like the world is such a terrible place, that I cant deal with my own suffering, and that if I can't deal with that then what about the people who have it worse? What can I do??

What can I do for anyone when I cant even paint a single set of nails?

I'm sure of all kinds of bad things happening. I dont want to be. Some of them I couldnt prove, so maybe it's just my mind. Many look likely. I dont know how to deal. I am all the worst parts of each of my parents and this is the result. I wish therapy was more of a thing last century. They should never have had kids. My older brother got off easy by dying. Incidentally I have to somehow gather money for his gravestone soon as nobody else in my family ever offered to help my parents with it in all this time and it's only just been put up now when I said I'd help my mum with it. I never even fucking met him. My life is like a bad tv show. Not an interesting one, not a well written drama or tragedy, just bad.

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howtodisassembleyourdeviant · 5 years ago

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Belong

I kinda lost the plot with this one. I kept getting interrupted. I also did not intend for it to get this long. Idea stemmed from one of the prompts posted for Cute Girls and Hot Androids.

Warning: NSFW (I can’t help it. I love writing sin.)

He thought he was doing everything right. He scoured through hours of research, read books, watched movies, even gathered knowledge by observation. things seemed to be going so smoothly.

"Don't EVER do that again!"

Your words still rang in his mind, stuck on repeat. He just wanted to show his affections. After two months, he thought it would be perfectly normal, almost chaste with what he has noticed among other couples and media, to desire physical affection.

he just wanted a hug.

you were standing in front of the coffee machine in the break room, watching as it fills your coffee mug. You had been putting in a lot of hours lately, sent on call after call, only to come back to a large stack of paperwork. With his own duties, he could not offer assistance, though he tried to ensure you, at the very least, ate something, even if it wasn't particularly healthy. You were stressed and you were tired. Perhaps, that had been his mistake. He wanted to offer you comfort, and studies show hugs can lower stress levels.

He had come up behind you, offering a morning greeting and getting a mumbled 'morning' in return. Just as you were about to grab your mug, his hands slid against your sides. The strange sound you made, coupled with the way you tried to jump away, caused him to pull back. You swiftly turned, looking around the room wildly before turning on him. Your threatening words had caught him off guard, and he stood watching you storm away with wide eyes and a hand over your mouth. Your cheeks had been flushed a bright red. Were you embarrassed? Was being embraced embarrassing for you?

Or was it him?

The thought that you might be uncomfortable because he, an android, tried to touch you made his artificial heart stop, falling from its place in his chest and sinking into a dark abyss. Looking over his memories, he realized that you had not actively sought out his touch on previous dates. He had always initiated it, taking hold of your hand when walking or a quick embrace at the end of the evening. Even with those, you had been quick to pull back. Why would you agree to date him if you had an aversion to his touch? Were you simply being too polite?

Depression threatened to crush him under its oppressive weight, but he couldn't give in. He can't believe it. You cared for him, you said so yourself. There must be something that he's missing.

In your mad dash, you had left your coffee, still sitting under the coffee maker. He made it, just how you like it, taking it and wordlessly dropping it off on your desk. You quietly thanked him, cheeks still tinted red. It wasn't much, but it was something.

Connor tried hard to focus on his work, but he kept thinking back to you. He tried to figure out if he missed some human cue, something to explain your actions. Every time his mind played the audio of your voice, so enraged by his actions, he sank a little deeper into despair. He moped about the DPD, doing small favors in hopes you might smile at him. Give him some reassurance that he hadn't inadvertently destroyed his chance to be with you. It wasn't until the end of his shift that you messaged him.

"Would you like to come over to my place tonight?"

He agreed with no hesitation. He sat at his desk, ruminating on his thoughts for the next hour until you were done with your work, then he followed you out.

In your car, he wanted to strike up a conversation, anything to fill the silence hanging heavily over the two of you, but your answers were quick and precise, blocking his every attempt. Maybe you were thinking of the best way to break things off, not wanting to hurt his feelings. His chest ached, and all he wanted to do was crawl into a hole and stay there indefinitely.

At your apartment, you kept fiddling around, doing anything and everything to avoid the android standing at your door. He couldn't take it anymore. He just wants things to go back to the way they were.

"I'm sorry," he said, "Whatever I did to upset you, I didn't mean anything by it." You turned to him, seeing his pained expression. Your face scrunched up, as if you were fighting back tears.

"No, no, it wasn't you. You didn't do anything wrong," you sighed, sitting down on the couch, gesturing for him to join you. He complied. You didn't speak right away, trying to gather your thoughts. He waited patiently, hoping to get an explanation and not a dismissal.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. I know you didn't mean anything by it. It's just-" you huffed out a breath, "-growing up, I didn't receive much attention from my parents. My father was AWOL and my mother worked all the time. When she was around, she viewed affection as weakness. I was brought up believing that."

Connor's eyes widened. To think that you had been denied such a basic human need for so long. He hasn't known emotions for long, but in the same aspect, he wasn't that old either. In that time, he probably had more physical reassurance than you had in your entire existence. It should be a sin. He realized you were not finished.

"In high school, a friend had tried to give me a hug, but when she touched my sides, I didn't anticipate it and I... squeaked. Our little group all heard it and assumed it was because I was ticklish. After that day, they would poke or squeeze my sides any chance they got and I guess some of the sounds I made were a little... provocative. I didn't want the attention, so I started distancing myself from them. Eventually, I just kept to myself.

"It took a long time to change my way of thinking, that showing affection was okay as long as it's wanted, but you are the first person to get this close. I guess when you touched my sides, old scars resurfaced." He fought against the urge to apologize, knowing you didn't blame him. How could he possibly know that? Still, for you to go so long without any physical affection, and then for your first experience to be so traumatic, he can understand why you were so quick to anger back at the station. You feared it happening again.

"My systems indicate that your symptoms are consistent with being "touch-starved". The best treatment is to be consensually touched on a regular basis, starting out slow and gradually working up to more sustained holds. If you wouldn't mind, I can offer my assistance."

You smiled softly at him, giving him a nod.

"Okay."

Slowly, he brought his hand to yours, feeling the slight flinch before you relaxed. His hand traveled up, resting on your forearm, stroking the soft skin with his thumb.

"Is this okay?" He wants you to be comfortable with everything he does. Your eyes were closed when you nodded.

The gentle touch felt like too much, yet not enough. You wanted him to touch you, to hold you. You wanted what others had all their lives, to be comforted by touch, rather than be scared by it. His hand didn't move, and you realized he wanted to move slow to avoid over-stimulating you. But, you wanted him to move faster. You craved the touch, needing so much after being supplied so little. You had never trusted anyone so much, but you knew Connor would never do anything to intentionally make you uncomfortable. You can only hope he would not mind if you smothered him under your needs.

Connor was happy that you trusted him so much, and he would not take advantage of it. He kept his touch chaste and ensured you were comfortable in your environment before he would do so. He felt a little guilty, but the small sounds that you made were heavenly. He broadened his explorations of your skin, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, whispering reassurances as you began to snuggle against him. It was a week later, sitting back on your couch, that you decided to speed things up a little.

"Could... Could you turn to rest against the arm of the couch, please?" You asked hesitantly. He looked confused, but complied, legs resting on the seat. You reached out, gradually pushing one of his knees to rest against the back of the couch while the other leg was nudged to the floor. You sat between them, nervously lying down against him, body tensing against the warmth before slowly relaxing into it. Connor was secretly relishing in the feeling of your weight on him, but he kept his hands to himself as you got comfortable. You laid on your side, one of your hands at his shoulder.

"Are you okay with this?" You asked.

"Yes, " he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your crown, "absolutely."

You pushed against him, listening to his mechanical heart, enjoying its steady beats. You had never felt such a level of comfort, as if this was where you were supposed to be. Unbeknownst to you, Connor felt the same.

He made a bold move, taking a hand and gently setting it on your waist. You jolted, squeezing his shoulder as you made that strange sound again, a mix between a squeak and a moan. Still, you didn't remove his hand, nor did you ask him to move it. You started to relax into it, loosening your grip, even allowing your fingers to begin roaming. He had to bite his lip when they slipped under the collar of his shirt. Your soft touch felt so nice.

Seeing his reaction, you immediately pulled back, but he caught your hand, kissing your palm, over and over. He could feel you shiver, watching as he licked up to the tip of your finger. He wasn't sure what made him do this, but he liked how you watched his every move, waiting for what might come next. However, he wanted you to decide the next step, so he released your hand. You put it back on his neck, pulling yourself up and turning to lie on your stomach. His hands returned to your sides, adding gentle pressure, making direct contact with your skin as your shirt rode up. Your eyes kept glancing down at his lips, creeping closer and closer. Anticipation built up to the point where he felt he might combust, artificial breathing picking up. When you finally made contact, it was his turn to make a strange noise, softly moaning against your lips.

When the two of you kissed before, it was always so brief, and he was always the one to initiate it, wanting to put his studies into action. The first time, it was like a jolt to his systems, and every kiss after made him desire more, but you always pulled back and smiled before finding an excuse to leave. It made him doubt his research. This, however, made him forget about it altogether, losing himself in the touch. The way you kept moving against him, and those needy sounds you were making, it was all so captivating. A touch of his tongue to your bottom lip was all it took for you to open for him, allowing him to explore your mouth, sliding against your tongue. You pulled back, gasping for breath. In his haze, he had forgotten about your very basic human need. His body begged for more, wanting to feel everything, a tingling beneath his skin. When you went to kiss him again, he turned his head.

"I'm concerned, " he whispered.

"For what?" Even your hushed voice was enough to send him into overdrive.

"If we continue, I may not be able to stop, " his dark eyes met yours, a fear residing within them. He doesn't want to do anything that could hurt you. He felt an ache, a need that wanted to be quenched. It wasn't something he didn't know about, but being what he is, he didn't expect it to be so strong. Malfunctioning programming and system errors were becoming common in deviancy, but rarely did a program activate on its own and refuse to deactivate.

Connor's hands had moved in the heat of the moment, one resting under your arm, the other on your hip, pressing you tightly against him. You could feel a hardness, pressing against your thigh. When your eyes widened in shock, Connor looked away. You cupped his cheek, turning him back to you. Your heated stare kept him locked in place. You leaned forward whispering into his ear.

"Then, don't stop."

His body shook, holding you tighter, the strong hold making you moan. The sound vibrated through his being, and before he realized it, he had you flipped, pinning you against the couch.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" You smiled. Everything Connor ever did was for you. In his arms, you are safe.

"Yes. I want you, Connor."

That was all it took to break down his restraint. He lifted you up, carrying you to your room and lying you down. His lips were on you again, kissing along your jaw, behind your ear and trailing down your neck. Your hand raked through his hair, his moans intermingling with yours. Your other hand tugged at his shirt. You wanted it off.

He got the signal, pulling himself away and making quick work of the buttons, tossing the shirt to the side. You drank in the sight, hands running along his synthetic muscles. When your hand made contact with the center of his sternum, he flinched. You knew what resided there, just under fabricated skin. He didn't flinch again when you returned your hand to that spot, gently stroking it before returning to your exploration.

While you were distracted, he slowly worked his hands under your shirt, starting with the hem at your hips before gliding them upward. He could feel you quiver at his actions. Just as he reached the bottom of your ribs, you took hold of his wrists. He quickly withdrew them, watching you sit up and take off your shirt, unsnapping your bra and taking it off before your nerves could set in. You had never been so exposed, though you suppose, neither has Connor. It felt amazing to be able to bare yourself, body and soul, to someone. To trust someone without any worries or doubts.

Connor wasn't sure where to start, it all looked so soft and inviting. Fingers danced along your skin, making you quake under his gentle touches. When his palm ghosted over one of your nipples, you released a moan. He focused on it, intoxicated by the sounds you made and the way you gazed at him, like there wasn't an outside world, just you and him in nirvana. He likes that thought.

Curiosity made him lean forward, taking one of your nips into his mouth, feeling it perk up as his tongue played with it.

"Connor!" You moaned, arching into him. A leg went over his hip, trying to pull him closer. Switching to your other breast, he brought himself to rest against you, groaning at the contact against his throbbing member. His need flared again, and a warning started to flash in his vision. He was overheating. It spurred him to move faster, a hand slipping to your jeans, skillfully unbuttoning them and pulling down the zipper. In no time at all, he pulled off your pants, your panties pulled down with them. He couldn't help but stare, your sex already so wet for him. Embarrassed, you tried to close your legs, but he took hold of your knees and pushed them back apart.

"So beautiful, " he murmured in awe. His curious fingers slipped between your folds, amazed by the way you threw your head back, moaning his name louder than before. It sounds so much better from your lips. His touch was everywhere at once, every caress causing you to make more of those beautiful sounds, your face contorting into what could only be described as pure bliss.

It wasn't long before he slipped a finger inside, feeling your tight walls. He can't help but wonder how he will fit. You squirmed under the strange feeling. He slowly worked it in and out, letting you get accustomed before he added another, tenderly working you open. Adding a third finger, he touched a spot inside that left you breathless. You held him still, wanting more.

"Please, Connor." He couldn't deny you, undoing his own pants and swiftly taking them off, followed by his boxer briefs. You couldn't help but steal a glance at his length. He was big, making your nerves falter. In the dim light, you noticed that the tip was blue in color, leaking a steady opaque fluid.

"I can hide it if you prefer, " he spoke above you and you realized you had been staring too long.

"Hide what?"

"The color. I just have to adjust the thickness of the skin." He can make it wider? You weren't sure you could fit him to begin with! "Your heart rate increased, so I assumed the odd color was distressing for you." You realized he was worried you didn't find him human enough.

"Connor, I don't care about that. I love you for you. Never feel that you have to disguise yourself for me."

"Love?"

Shit. It just slipped out. You knew you loved him, but that didn't mean you meant to say it! Too late to go back now.

"Yes, Connor. I love you. Is that okay?" Just as you finished speaking, he was on you again, body pressed tightly against yours as he kissed you passionately.

"Yes, " he moaned against your lips, "I've... I've never felt... Anything like this. I think... I think I love you too." His words were broken up between each kiss, unable to stop. You felt so light, needing him to hold you down, grasping onto him desperately. He had no issues with it, happy to hold you forever. Tears escaped your eyes with your elation. This man, this perfect mechanical man, loved you. Anything after this point is just icing on the cake.

Taking himself in hand, he stroked his length, groaning as he spread the lubricant, ensuring he was properly coated for your comfort, before lining it up with your entrance. You tensed at the contact, taking a breath to calm yourself. He pushed inside, just the tip, feeling you squeeze around the intrusion. It felt so good, unlike anything he has ever known before. He fought against himself to push deeper before you were ready. When he felt you relax again, he moved forward, sinking in slowly until his hips met yours.

"Fuck, " he ground out. "You're... So tight..." He rested between your breasts, kissing the skin to distract from the stimulation and the desire for more. He waited until you were ready, nodding your head. Testing the waters, he pulled out slightly, only an inch or two, before pressing back in. It felt incredible, and from the way you moaned into his ear, you enjoyed it as well. He started off slow and gentle, but he wasn't sure how long his careful control will last.

You couldn't contain the sounds that left you. Every time you called his name, he would speed up, setting a steady pace. Your fingers clawed at his back, leaving marks that will be gone before the morning. You wrapped your legs around his hips, allowing him deeper. The slight change of angle caused him to find your weak spot again, making you cry out. With the precise movements only an android is allowed, he hit that spot, over and over. You could feel a knot forming, getting tighter with each thrust. Connor started kissing your neck again, and you could feel him latch on to your sweet spot, marking your skin. He wanted everyone to know who he loves, who you love. His hand went to your clit, stroking it to match his pace.

"Connor!" You screamed, the tension snapping. Connor slowed down, drawing out your orgasm. You had never come so hard, squeezing him from within. He groaned at the feeling. When you came down, he picked up his pace, chasing his own end.

"Connor, ahh... You feel s-so good... I, hah, I love you... Come for me, Connor, come for me!" You moaned, hand pulling at his hair and tearing at his back, the sensations coming across as pleasurable. Your words were all he needed to send him to his own end, thrusting deep as he filled you with his synthetic seed, each spasm making you take more of him. Connor rested against you, feeling your fingers run through his hair. When he went to move so you wouldn't suffer under his weight any longer, you held him in place.

"I like how you feel. It's comforting." He looked up to you, seeing your content smile and sparkling eyes. At that moment, he realized he wanted to see that look every day, every moment of his existence.

"I love you, " he spoke, in amazement, and when he heard you murmur them back as you started to drift off, he knew that he would fight with everything he has to keep you in his arms, in this place you both belonged.

#Cute Girls and Hot Androids #Connor fanfiction #connor x reader #rk800 connor reader #rk800 #DBH #detroit become human #gaming

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elisaphoenix13 · 6 years ago

Note

What about a fic where Stephen is under a spell from an evil wizard? Making him "evil", and peter and tony are the only ones that can bring him back to normal , because you know, mama bear would never intentionally hurt is cub... or something like that ?

A Gut Feeling

He noticed something was wrong the moment Stephen came back home via a portal. Actually, Peter was halfway to his feet when the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he watched in utter confusion as the sorcerer ignored him and walked into the kitchen. Usually, if the teen is the same room that Stephen portals home to, the man will wait for him to approach him and welcome the doctor home with a hug. Even if he had a really bad day. Those he definitely waited for Peter’s hugs because it made his day just a little bit better.

Stephen ignored him this time.

He never did that. In fact, he would have to be dead, dying, or unconscious to ignore Peter, and even if he was unconscious, the teen was relatively positive the sorcerer was astral projecting.

While being ignored was weird, his spidey-senses going off around Stephen was much weirder. Maybe the sorcerer wasn’t out of danger? Peter looks around but his senses kept screaming at him, the intensity growing with each step he took into the kitchen. It was too late when he finally realized Stephen was the danger. Too late because the idea that his pseudo-mom would ever hurt him was preposterous.

But he was. Stephen had glared at him when he entered the kitchen, and then tightly conjured red bands around Peter’s neck when he opened his mouth to greet the sorcerer. The teen’s eyes widen as he struggles with the magical binding and the Sorcerer Supreme sighs with annoyance.

“I thought maybe you would take a hint. That I didn’t want to be bothered…but I guess I gave you too much credit.”

Peter’s vision begins to spot and he gasps for breath when the bands tighten, and then they finally loosen when Stephen releases his end, sending Peter to his knees. He sucks in precious air as the sorcerer shuffles around the kitchen to make tea, and when the spots finally fade, Peter scrambles to his feet and escapes to his room.

Maybe he was being too clingy and Stephen had tried to kindly tell him to back off before? That would explain why he got so violent. Peter was pretty bad about reading someone’s body language. It could also be that parenting Peter was too much of a hassle and he was done with it. He was technically only Tony’s even though they were married, and Peter couldn’t really blame him. Who would want a clingy, mutant teenager for a son?

The train of thought turned into a dangerous one.

What if Stephen told Tony to get rid of Peter?

The teen curls up into a ball on his bed and shakes his head. No, Stephen was just having a bad day. One where even Peter’s hugs wouldn’t make things better, as the sorcerer claimed. He would just need to give Stephen his space and hope that Tony figured out what was going on and help make things better.

He laid in his bed for hours. His room slowly darkening as the sun set until only the city lights dully lit his room. Peter did eventually move to his desk to work on his homework, and was only a little surprised when he checked the time halfway through his chemistry homework and found that it was past nine. No one got him for dinner.

His stomach growls at the thought of food and he bites his lip as he glances at his closed bedroom door. Maybe enough time had passed for Stephen to relax that he could grab something to eat? He didn’t want to stress him out more. It was probably late enough that his parents would be watching tv in the living room and the kitchen would be open.

With that thought, Peter puts his pen down and quietly slips out of his room and down the hall into the kitchen. He found Tony sitting at the table with leftovers from last night and reading something on his phone, and Peter opens the fridge to see if there was leftover leftovers.

“What the hell?!”

Peter looks over at Tony and finds the man glaring in his general direction. Was he in a bad mood too? “I’m just getting something to eat.”

“Did that happen on patrol?”

Patrol? Did Stephen tell Tony he was on patrol and that’s why no one got him for dinner? Or maybe the fact that Tony was eating leftovers was why. It must have been a ‘fend for yourself’ night.

“Uh…what?” Peter jumps when Tony stands and approaches him and the elder grabs his chin and tilts his head to the side.

“There are bruises on your neck. Who did that?”

Bruises? Peter clears his throat and gently bats his father’s hand away to heat up the food he pulled out of the fridge. Tony must not know what happened earlier, and if he was right, Stephen took advantage of his silence and took the opportunity to place the blame on criminals. Just thinking that felt wrong to Peter. First Stephen strangled the teen then lied to Tony.

Something wasn’t right.

“Just your typical lowlife. I’m alright. It’ll heal in a couple of hours.” Peter lies.

Tony frowns. “Maybe you should let Mama Bear look at that.”

It felt like the man had thrown ice water at him. It didn’t take much to identify the feeling as fear. He was actually afraid of Stephen. “No. It’s okay. I’m breathing fine and it doesn’t hurt.”

The billionaire looked unconvinced but nodded. “Alright. Just…take it easy. Eat and head to bed.”

“Okay.”

Tony affectionately ruffles his hair and returns to the table to finish his leftover casserole, leaving Peter to finish putting together a simple sandwich. The teen joins the mechanic at the table temporarily, and when Tony finishes he throws his dishes into the dishwasher and heads to bed with a 'good night’ over his shoulder. He may be going to bed, but he wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. Stephen sort of made it a thing that if Tony was going to stay up, to at least lay in bed with a Starkpad so he was at least next to the sorcerer while he slept. That little rule was helping Tony have somewhat of a more decent sleep schedule.

Peter heads to bed as promised after he finishes his sandwich, with just a few minutes to finish his homework, and despite his interesting (terrifying) day, he fell asleep pretty quickly. He had his usual nightmares, but this was one of the times he was aware it was a nightmare. So the heavy feeling on his chest, and the difficulty breathing wasn’t as panic inducing as they normally were. Peter discovered that if he relaxed in the nightmares he was aware of, he either woke up faster or the dream changed to something more pleasant.

He woke up…but he found himself in another nightmare. One he would rather replace with his dreams of being crushed by a building over and over again, because what he woke up to was horrifying.

He really was having difficulting breathing because Stephen was standing over him and strangling him again.

Every part of him was screaming that something wasn’t right. This was not the sorcerer that was always so gentle with him, that was sometimes annoyingly overprotective of him. No. This Stephen was angry. His eyes, which always held love and fondness for him was filled with resentment and hostility.

Peter just didn’t know why.

“W-Why?” He croaks out when he pries surprisingly strong hands away enough to talk.

“It won’t matter in a minute.”

The teen chokes on a whimper when Stephen tightens his grip, and as his vision began to spot again and when confusion was about to set in, he realized that the hands at his throat weren’t scarred. They were strong though so Peter could only guess the sorcerer was focusing his magic into his hands. While Peter would have been strong enough to throw him off, Stephen had the element of surprise and the teen was already too weak to do much of anything.

Just when he thought it was the end though, he faintly recognized the sound of a portal forming, and Stephen was pulled away. Peter gasps loudly and holds a hand up to his released neck and watches through blurred vision as Stephen is punched and Levi wraps itself around the sorcerer’s arms after forcing them against his sides.

“You won’t kill me.” Stephen snarls.

The responding voice had Peter looking toward his savior. “You hurt mine. I don’t know what happened in your dimension for you to do what you did,” this was around the time that Peter finally recognized a second Stephen, and the man looked both enraged and devastated. “But I have no qualms against killing myself to keep my son safe.”

Peter’s vision clears a little more as Levi unravels itself from the wrong Stephen, who gets thrown through a portal, and the remaining Stephen turns to the ailing teen. He approaches him slowly, the teen recoiling just a bit when the sorcerer reaches out, and gently cups Peter’s cheek. His senses, for the first time all day, were silent. This was the Stephen he knew. His familiar scent (something the other Stephen didn’t have but Peter didn’t process it), his gentle shaking touch (definitely amplified by fear), and kind eyes filled with worry and a bit of devastation still there.

“Mom.”

That was all the other man needed before Peter was pulled into a tight embrace. He could feel the other man trembling when his face was quickly pressed into Stephen’s collarbone. Sure, Peter was scared when he woke up to being strangled, but he could tell something was bothering the doctor.

“I am so sorry. A rogue sorcerer managed to switch me with an alternate version of myself without my knowledge. It took me getting to the tower in that dimension to realize something was wrong.”

Well that already explained a lot. An alternative version of his Stephen would be messed up.

“It’s okay. You got here just in time. I’ll be okay.”

Stephen holds him tighter. “Barely. Peter…you were dead in that reality. He killed you and apparently told that Tony that it happened during your patrol.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I can’t think of anything that would turn me into that monster. I was already coming back as soon as I found out though. When I did…” Stephen’s breath hitches.

They sat there in silence, Stephen’s grip on him unwavering, until Peter finally manages to get them both laying down. The doctor lays down without a fuss, using magic to change his clothes, and directing Levi to a corner of the room. They both definitely needed the validation that the other was either okay or real, and Peter wasn’t about to complain. In the back of his mind, he was still a little afraid that this was another dream, that the other Stephen had choked him out of consciousness, but then the man next to him clung onto him again once they got comfortable.

Being shoved into a world where someone he vowed to protect with his life was dead because of him (although indirectly) shook Stephen to his core. Peter was considerate and wore his heart on his sleeve, it kind of made the sorcerer wonder what caused so much hate in his alternate self.

“Your father doesn’t know.” It wasn’t a question. If Tony knew, the other Stephen would have been dead.

“He thinks I got hurt on patrol.”

Stephen swears under his breath. “I’m sorry cub…so sorry you had to go through that. I’m surprised you haven’t thrown me out yet.”

“My senses went off around him. I’m okay now though. He didn’t have all the small things that you do, so I know for a fact that I’m safe again.” He pauses for a few seconds. “I don’t blame you by the way. I’m sure you’re thinking about the what ifs and I just wanted you to know that.”

Peter was far too good for this world.

Any world really.

“Love you Mom.” Peter says after a few minutes of quiet.

“…I love you too Spiderling.” Stephen whispers.

It wasn’t guilt that kept the sorcerer up that night. It was pure unadulterated fear. Fear that one of the most important people in his life would be taken away if he closed his eyes.

So he asked Karen to turn on the tv to a quiet setting when Peter eventually fell asleep. It helped distract him from everything but his thoughts of having Friday delete any and all footage of the other Stephen harming Peter. Just thinking about it made him sick. He couldn’t see it again, and definitely wouldn’t let Tony either.

#ironstrange #tony stark #peter parker #supremefamily #mama bear stephen strange

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heyyyharry · 6 years ago

Text

Cousin

(from the Couple in Flat 102 Series)

…in which Harry’s least favorite cousin pays him a visit, and Y/N thinks he’s a bad influence on Harry.

wattpad link

"So, you're telling me he'd had this ring since graduation?!"

"Yes!"

"Get out!"

Layla and Y/N squealed at the same time, ignoring the judging stares from their boyfriends who have been watching them from the kitchen door this whole time. Y/N had been going on and on about finally being engaged for nearly an hour now, which made Harry feel very smug while Niall, on the other hand, was weirdly on edge.

"You've got to tell your girl to stop telling my girl about the 'romantic' stuff you do," said Niall as he furrowed his brows, eyes still on Layla. "When we get home she's gonna give me so much shit for this."

"Mate, you gotta—" Harry began.

But Layla jumped right into his mouth as she shouted at her boyfriend, "hey babe! Harry met Y/N's parents in person to ask for her hand, isn't it cute?"

"Yes, very cute!" Niall shouted back, punching the air enthusiastically then with that fake smile he whispered a quiet 'fuck you' to his friend who was trying his best not to laugh.

Luckily for Niall, his girlfriend was the one who changed the subject afterwards. "So what happened to the catsitter after you caught her stealing your ring?"

"I got rid of her," Y/N calmly answered before raising her voice intentionally. "Someone had to!"

When hearing that, Niall couldn't help but snicker and as a result received a slight slap on the cheek from Harry. Neither of the girls bothered to ask or pay attention to them though, Layla was too busy looking around for the little cat instead.

"Did that bitch steal Treasure too?" She screwed up her face, and Y/N quickly shook her head no.

"Ben and Nam took her to the park already."

"Wait, Ben and your super cool, super gay doorman know each other?"

"Apparently. Yeah." Y/N shrugged. "I think something's going on between those two. Neither would tell me about it though."

"Trust me. They can't hide it forever." Layla released a laugh then looked down at the watch on her wrist. And as soon as she saw what time it was, the girl threw herself out of the sofa immediately. "Shit, we're having lunch with my dad's family in half an hour! Niall, let's go!"

"Do we have to?" Niall groaned, dragging his feet to the front door, like a little boy whose mother had just told him to say goodbye to his friend because playtime was over.

"Yes we do, Niall!" Layla tapped a finger on her watch, urging her boyfriend to pick up his pace.

"But you hate your dad's family!"

"Yeah but...not my dad." She widened her eyes at her boyfriend. "Hurry up! That little whore Esther would have a lot to say about us being late."

"Oh, is Esther your stepsister?"

"Her stepmother..." Niall answered Y/N's question with a sigh. "She's not much older than us so...same thing."

Y/N and Harry just exchanged glances without any further comment on their friend's family drama. They knew Layla all too well and she would never shut up once she started ranting about the people she loathed.

Niall walked out first, and before Layla followed, she stopped at the door to say one last thing, "oh Niall told me Mason's coming over today. Good luck, H!"

Y/N chuckled in confusion as she switched her eyes from her best friend to her boyfriend. "Who's Mason?"

"He's Harold's journalist cousin who recently just got back from Barcelona. He's very hot."

"HEY!" Niall shouted from the hallway, causing Layla to frantically change her opinion.

"I mean he's hot if you don't count Niall!" She said loudly for Niall to hear before running off to catch up with him as the lift arrived.

With the friends were now gone, Harry watched Y/N close the door with a funny look on her face, and so he knew they were about to have a conversation about Mason, the name he tried to avoid in every family gathering.

"You've never told me you had a cousin named Mason."

"Because I like to pretend I didn't have a cousin named Mason!" Harry flopped down on the sofa, blowing up his cheek like a frustrated little boy. So his fiancé took a seat right beside him staring at him intensely with a cheeky smirk on her face, which got him curious.

"What?" He raised an eyebrow, making the girl giggle.

"I'm waiting for the backstory about you and this guy."

"Psst, you don't wanna hear it. It's silly."

"Is it? Because you seem more stressed about him visiting us than the first time you saw me naked."

That sentence left a wide smile on Harry's face as he took no time to drag her by the hips onto his lap.

"That's not true," he mumbled, nose brushing against hers while his hands founf comfort resting on the exposed skin of her lower back. "I can never be as stressed as the first time we made love."

The tips of his fingers were dancing dangerously close to her jeans button now. Y/N quickly swatted them away, before he successfully lured her into another one of their midday sexy sessions as an excuse se to get away from this conversation.

"You can't have me until you tell me about Mason."

Because Harry knew there was no way he could win this argument, he slightly pulled his face away and began with a long exhalation. "There's nothing much to tell besides the fact that he's a narcissistic asshole, who's like...really cool and good at basically everything. Everyone in my family loves him, in fact, every single person I know loves him."

Y/N chuckled, eyebrows furrowed as she heard him. "Then how come he's an asshole?"

"He's only an asshole to me! He was always bullying me when we were kids, he pushed me to the ground, stole my toys! But in front of our parents he was a fucking angel. He nearly drowned me once at the lake and somehow had everyone believe it was my fault!" Harry rolled his eyes as he continued, "back when we were still in high school, there was this girl Stephanie, and she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen! Not now though! Now you're number one!"

Y/N scoffed as she patted his cheek slightly. "Nice try, but go on."

"So I told him I wanted to ask Stephanie to the Prom because he was her friend and he'd already got a girlfriend back then."

"Lemme guess. He asked her to the Prom, didn't he?"

"He did!" Harry's bitter tone nearly had Y/N dying of laughter. "He broke up with his girlfriend and asked Steph to the Prom without telling me first just so she could reject me. I was very humiliated!"

Y/N bit back a smile, the pouty look on his face was undeniably cute. Competitive Harry always made her want to tear off all his clothes before begging him to do things to her, but she knew she couldn't do that now, not when he was still so upset about his seemingly evil cousin/childhood enemy.

"Well, if you two hate each other so much then why's he coming to visit us?"

"Mum's told all of my relatives that I got engaged, so Mason probably came back to prove that he's doing better than I am."

"Or..." Y/N stressed out the word as she traced her fingertip across his collarbone, making him swallow hard "...he heard about our engagement and wanted to congratulate us in person. You two are adults now, something has to change."

"You always believe in people." Harry grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. "That's one of the reasons why I love you. But I know Mason, baby, he's a dick, and I don't want you to meet him."

"But I do! I'm curious to see for myself how bad he can be!" She giggled, holding his face. "Besides, you're always the best. No other man can beat my man."

"You're biased because you're my fiancé."

Y/N couldn't help it anymore, she just had to kiss him now. With their mouths attached, she pinned him down on the sofa with her on top, then mumbled against his heavenly soft lips, "I'm not biased, you're simply, objectively, the best."

From Harry's and Layla's descriptions of the man, Y/N imagined Mason to be as sexy as today's Zac Efron. And she was sure not disappointed, because he was doubtlessly an attractive man!

Mason'd been living away from home for so long that you could barely make out the English accent in his voice, that took away the probably only thing that these two men had in common in Y/N's opinion. While Harry was cool, calm and collected most of the time, Mason seemed to have too much energy to spare. When he first saw Y/N, he pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek even though they'd never met before. Such overwhelming friendliness caught the girl by surprise though the hug didn't last for more than two seconds because her overprotective boyfriend broke them apart soon after.

"Okay, that's enough," Harry announced, pulling her back to his side while staring hostilely at his least favorite cousin, probably, person, in the world. Y/N swore she'd never seen him glare at anyone else that way.

"Harold!"

"Not even my name, but whatever."

"You're still as funny as I remember!"

Mason slightly punched the younger man's shoulder while giving him the biggest smile, yet Harry had the same straight face. It didn't take a genius to notice how much Harry hated his cousin. So Y/N assumed Mason knew, yet overlooked it to act all amiable towards Harry, which didn't make him such a bad person like Harry said he was.

"Why are we standing here?" Y/N broke the awkward silence between them three. "Let's go inside!"

"Wait, my fiancé should be here in a sec."

"Fiancé?" Harry snorted, thinking it was another lame joke, but Mason didn't seem like he was joking at all.

"Oh, there she is!"

The lift door opened, turning Harry's and Y/N's attention to the woman who had just stepped out.

"Fuck," Harry cursed when she removed her sunglasses. And without waiting for Y/N to ask, Mason gave her the answer right away by calling out his lover's name.

"Stephanie!"

Wait, Stephanie?! Y/N dropped her jaw. The-most-beautiful-girl-Harry-had-ever-seen Stephanie?! Harry's-high-school-dream-girl Stephanie?

"Remember Harold, darling?" Mason put a hand on the girl's back, pointing the other to his cousin. Stephanie, blonde-haired, long-legged, flawless-skinned Stephanie, put on a beam and goes in to hug Harry, who was still too in shock to even lift his arms and return the gesture.

"Wow, it's been years! How are you, Harry?" She asked after pulling away.

And Harry had to clear his throat to regain his composure. "I'm...okay. This is my fiancé, Y/N."

"H-Hi..." Y/N cracked a smile when the attention was switched to her. All of her self-esteem had vanished to make room for this woman's presence there.

"She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," Y/N whispered to Harry after the other couple had entered their flat.

With a cheeky smile, he squeezed her hand and told her, "that's not true, you see your reflection everyday."

She snorted and rolled her eyes in reaction to his unnecessary remark, but to say she was tired of these lame flirting attempts would be a massive lie.

"I'd give that pickup line a 8/10, 7 plus one because you're cute."

"Yussss, new record!" Harry made her laugh by punching the air. Afterwards she felt much less stressed out and intimidated by the goddess in her living room, and could happily join Stephanie and Mason on the sofa.

The conversation began pretty casual. Mason mostly bragged about his perfect life in Barcelona and his new sport car, it was actually not so bad, it was tolerable. But that was until the relationship topic was brought up.

"So how did you two meet?" Mason asked, reaching out with the intention to touch Y/N's knee, but Harry was quick to put his hand there first so his cousin had no choice but to back away subtly. The funny thing here was how unbothered Stephanie was. Harry assumed she was probably too used to her fiancé being handsy with everyone to bat an eye, or she herself had never had a problem with that, which made sense if they were really engaged. Yeah, 'really', because Harry refused to believe their engagement at around the same time as his was just a coincidence.

"We were flatmates in uni," Y/N answered with a smile while Harry was smiling proudly at her.

"That's so cute!" Replied Stephanie as she turned to Mason. "Mason and I actually dated in high school! We broke up a few months after graduation but destiny brought us back together on a sunny afternoon on a beach in Bali. He asked me to marry him a week later."

"Wow...A week?" Harry laughed humorlessly as he pretended to look shocked. "Was it the same week that you heard about my engagement, Mason?"

"Baby..." Y/N tapped slightly on his leg to remind him to be polite.

Mason would be a fool not to recognize the sarcasm in Harry's question, but he was anything but a fool. He beamed at his younger cousin and gave him a shrug.

"I can't remember but if it was, lovely coincidence, huh?"

"Lovely." Harry nodded. He had to fake smiling so much his jaw began to hurt now.

"So Y/N, love, what do you do for a living?" Mason asked Y/N. And Harry wanted nothing more than to punch that smirk off his face.

"I work for a PR firm."

"Aww I'm sure you're good at that job, you're such a sweet girl."

Harry widened his eyes at the way his cousin emphasized the word 'sweet' in reference to his girl. In fact, Harry surely had something to say about it, but fortunately, Y/N stole his opportunity to speak as soon as he opened his mouth.

"Harry told me you were a journalist, right?"

"Yeah, that was also how I met Steph again." He turned to kiss his fiancé on the spot between her neck and shoulder, in a sensual way that made Harry and Y/N feel very uncomfortable. "I came to Bali on a business trip and Stephanie just happened to be shooting her new modeling campaign there."

"Wow, you're a model?" Y/N asked. But she could already see that coming.

"Yes! I would just hook Harry up with some of my friends but too bad he's engaged!"

"What?"

"Y/N, sweetie, I'm joking!" Stephanie burst into laughter and Y/N had to stop herself from pointing out how rude her joke was. Instead she just pretended to laugh along.

The awkwardness surrounding the two couples was getting hard to bear so Mason did them a favor (not really) by proposing an idea. "Harold, maybe we should go for a drink tonight and let the ladies spend some time together?"

Stephanie was more than thrilled with the suggestion; Harry and Y/N, on the other hand, were the complete opposite.

"I don't know I've got work to do..."

"Come on, Y/N! It'll be fun! I haven't had a girl friend in so long!" Stephanie pouted, holding the other girl's hand with both of hers and brought them to her chest. "I only hang out with models and most of them are boring and shallow! You, on the other hand, is the loveliest average person I've ever met!" Average?! "I like you so much already! Please don't say no!"

Of course Y/N didn't want to hang out with Stephanie. However, she saw this as a good opportunity for Harry to mend his relationship with Mason. Those two needed to talk it all out and the only way for them to do that was to leave them alone with each other.

"Oh...Okay...if you insist," Y/N blurt, only to receive a 'what are you doing?' stare from Harry.

"Try to have fun, baby. I'll make it up to you, I promise," Y/N whispered apologetically to him before standing up with Stephanie.

"Lock the door on the way out! Love you!"

"Love you too! Be safe!" Harry shouted after his fiancé as he watched her getting dragged out of the door, given only enough time to take only her bag.

"Your girl is cute," Mason commented once the ladies had already left, making Harry wish there had been a mute button to shut his cousin up for the rest of the night, sadly you couldn't do that to real life people. Harry could only try to tolerate, saving all the frustration to rant about to his girl once he got home.

Mason stood up, stretching out his limbs as the corners of his lips turned up. "So, Harold, just like old time huh?"

"Just like old time," Harry mumbled lifelessly as he rose from his seat as well. Oh how he wished Y/N could be by his side right now.

From her past experiences, it was safe to say Y/N was awful at detecting bad people. She'd got a good heart, she'd been told that so many times. But what was the point of believing in the good nature of people if some refused to discover the goodness in themselves? That, however, didn't stop her from doing what she did best, creating second chances.

She believed whatever had happened between Harry and Mason in the past should've stayed in the past and they could work things out after tonight. And Stephanie, she could be rude and shallow at times but Layla used to be like that too and now they were best friends. So, anything could happen. People could change. And to be fair, hanging out with Stephanie wasn't exactly an awful experience. She actually gave great fashion advice and she was straightforward, which was good. They hadn't found anything in common yet, but the night was still young. Maybe at the end of today, they would be close enough to actually go on double dates (okay, that was a far reach but it didn't hurt to be positive, right?).

"Are you having fun, Y/N?" Stephanie asked then she turned to scold the lady who was filing her nails for accidentally hurting her. Y/N had no idea why they were getting their nails done at 9PM but Stephanie said this was on her schedule and she couldn't cheat on her daily beauty routine by skipping it.

The younger girl working on Y/N's nails asked her if she liked pastel blue or pastel pink, and Y/N just waved her hand and told her to pick whichever she preferred before turning back to Stephanie.

"I am, thanks for asking, look Stephanie—"

"Call me Steph."

"Okay...Steph. Do you know much about Harry's and Mason's feud?"

"What are you talking about?" Stephanie chuckled. "Mason loves Harry."

What do you know, sister? You agreed to marry him after seeing him again for one week.

"I don't think so," said Y/N. "Harry told me Mason tried to drown him once."

"That was an accident! Everyone knew that! Harry fell into the lake and if it hadn't been for Mason who jumped in to save him, he could've died!"

Y/N rolled her eyes and decided she shouldn't argue with someone who didn't know what she was talking about.

"So Y/N..." Stephanie trailed off, smiling widely. "Have you started planning the wedding yet?"

"Uh no, it's still too soon for us."

"Oh honey it's never too soon! Men can just change their minds! Are you sure you want to wait?"

Stephanie's idea about marriage was a bit absurd to Y/N. She wouldn't say it though, instead she laughed wryly. "I'm sure. I know H and he's not the type to ask someone to marry him if he's gonna change his mind a week later."

"Well, whatever you say, but Mason and I are getting married at the end of this month and you two are so invited!" Stephanie threw her hands in the air enthusiastically and nearly kicked the lady who was painting her toe nails in the face. Y/N had to apologize for her, even though the model didn't seem to care that she'd almost accidentally assaulted someone.

"That's...fast," Y/N replied, not knowing what else to say. "Do you have like...a wedding theme?"

"I haven't come up with one yet, have you already got one in mind?"

"Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted an Alice in Wonderland theme for my wedding," Y/N happily told her new acquaintance (because using the word friend at this point would be a bit too much), who seemed pretty interested in the idea. "It'd be so cute, I haven't told Harry yet though, but that's definitely my number one option."

"Lovely!" Stephanie giggled, nodding her head. "You know, you're such a perfect match for Harry. I actually thought he would end up with Olivia."

"Olivia?"

"His childhood best friend," said Stephanie.

Of course Y/N remembered Olivia who'd tried to steal her boyfriend once! She just didn't expect her name would be brought up in this conversation. What does Olivia have to do with this?

"I suppose you already know Harry asked me to the Prom and I said no."

Yeah I do, thought Y/N. You went with Mason instead!

"My friend told me Harry wanted to ask me and I thought I might say yes when he did, because Harry was such a hottie! But then Mason told me Harry only wanted to ask me out to make Olivia jealous."

"But Olivia moved away a long time before senior year."

"I know, Mason said they were in love and still keeping in touch."

Y/N knew it was just a lie so Stephanie would go to Prom with him, she was just surprised this girl didn't know it yet. Did she even know this person she was marrying in a month?

"If it weren't for Olivia, I would've ended up going to Prom with Harry!" Stephanie giggled while shaking her head. "I mean, can you imagine what would happen if we'd gone to Prom together? Maybe Harry would be my future husband, not Mason! How crazy is that? Although...we'd make lovely babies, Harry and I."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Y/N quickly interrupted the girl. She didn't blame Stephanie, who apparently never thought twice before she started speaking. However, now that she mentioned it, Y/N couldn't help but wonder what her fiancé would feel if he knew he could've ended up with his high school crush instead, who was now a freaking model! Would it make the idea of marrying her less...enticing?

Mason gulped down another pine and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as Harry watched him in awe.

"Ten seconds." The older man slammed his hand down on the table and gave his cousin a smug look. "Unlike you I don't suddenly forget how to drink after getting engaged."

Harry scoffed but decided to let that one go.

"What's with the sudden engagement anyway?" He chuckled and put down his beer. "I get that you need to prove to everyone that you're better than me but dragging Steph into this? That's low."

"Hey!" Mason drunkenly pointed a finger to Harry's face while glaring at him with hooded eyes. "Not everything is about you. I love Steph. Just because you can't have her, doesn't mean you can say whatever the fuck you want."

"It was years ago!" Harry huffed. "You can have Stephanie. I'm happy with Y/N, and I love her."

"She's turned you into a boring little boy huh?" Mason reached out to touch Harry's face, but Harry pushed his fingers away immediately. He furrowed his eyebrows and finished his beer, trying to be the responsible adult here although he was not very much more sober than his cousin.

"I chose to grow up, this has nothing to do with her, and don't talk my girl that way, asshole."

"Okay, let's not talk about her, let's talk about you and how lame you've become." Mason cracked up and Harry just ordered another pine without giving him his attention, which triggered the older guy to continue speaking. "How about we play the little game we used to play huh? Remember that?"

"No, no, no." Harry shook his head, smiling tipsily. "I'm engaged, I'm not gonna ask for some random girl's number."

"You don't have to call them afterwards! Just to see you and me who gets more numbers at the end of the night."

"I'm engaged," he repeated, looking slightly annoyed now. "I'm pretty sure that's also considered cheating on your partner..."

"It's not." Mason snorted, patting his cousin a few times on the back. "Jeez, I'm engaged too you know. Cheating means you're fantasizing about someone else or fucking someone else, this is different. We go to a random girl, ask for her number, then move on to the next. I swear most of the people here are drunk and by the end of the night they won't even remember our face."

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"You gotta have some fun, Harold! Y/N fell for you when you were this wild thing and if you keep turning into a boring old man, sooner or later she'll be bored of you and run off with some cooler guy." Mason put a hand on Harry's shoulder and added in, "I bet not a single woman in this bar would want to fuck you now because you're such a pussy it shows."

If there hadn't been alcohol in his system, he wouldn't have let those words get to him and said no without a second thought. Sober Harry was much smarter and made better decisions. But Harry was a bit far from sober now, and even though he regretted it soon after he nodded his head, Harry still agreed to take part in his cousin's little game.

"I did a bad thing tonight."

Y/N was taken aback by her fiancé unexpected confession as soon as he entered their flat, drunk, then pulled her into a bear hug.

"It's okay, I knew you were out drinking with Mason." She chuckled and attempted to withdraw herself from his embrace, but he grabbed onto her hips to keep her from leaving his side.

"It's not that." He pouts, bringing one hand to cup her face. "I..."

"You what?" She quietly laughed though she found nothing funny about his strange behaviors. "H, you're making me worried, just tell me what you did."

"I asked some girls at the bar for their phone numbers."

"You did what?!" She almost shouted at him and pushed him away to take a step back, as an instinct, Harry rushed forward to take hold of her hands.

"I can explain."

She nodded rapidly, eyebrows furrowed at him. "Oh, you'd better explain before I kill you!"

And he knew it was not just an empty threat, she would kill him if he failed to give her a proper explanation.

"It was a game that Mason and I used to play at high school parties. Whoever got more phone numbers at the end of the party won."

"And what did you get for winning, Harry?!"

"Just the feeling of winning I guess..."

"Unbelievable!" She raised her voice all of a sudden, making Harry jump. "I'm wearing your ring on my finger and you went out flirting—"

"Not actually flirting but—"

"Don't jump into my mouth!"

"Sorry, go on." He instantly stared down at his feet and heard her take a deep breath before letting it all out and continuing because she wasn't done with him just yet.

"You did that just to prove what? That you're better than your cousin? No, Harry Edward Styles, that doesn't make you better than him, in fact you're much more like him than you think! Can't you see what he's doing? He came here to screw up your life and it's actually working because you're letting him!"

"I couldn't let him win! He's already got the most beautiful girl in school as his fiancé." Wrong move, Harry. Wrong move! Code red!

"And you're stuck with me, is that what you're saying?"

"N-No! Absolutely not!"

"You're upset because he ended up with a model and you're getting married to an average girl like me."

"I never said that!"

"You meant that!"

Harry thought he'd better shut up before he unintentionally said something worse and had her throw his proposal ring to his face or something. He knew his Y/N would never do something like that, but it was the worst scenario he could think of so far.

"I'm going to bed now," she spoke after a moment of silence. She didn't ask him to go pack his bags and get lost, which was good, yet she seemed so disappointed in him, which was...not good.

"Turn off the lights, okay?"

"Okay..." He nodded then watched her head back to their room in silence. He wasn't fucked, but he knew he would be if he didn't do something about it. First, he needed to get sobered up though.

So Harry decided to take a shower meanwhile giving his love time to be alone and calm down before they had 'the talk', you know, the one couples had after both parties had calmed down from an argument so they could come to an agreement how they wanted the fight to end. He hated that talk, not really, because it either ended with great sex or him sleeping on the sofa. Considering how she'd stopped yelling at him before she walked away, this time...definitely the sofa.

When Harry returned to the bedroom, Y/N immediately sat up on the bed. He swallowed and scratched the back of his head timidly as he spoke up, "don't worry, I'm just gonna grab my pillow."

"Why?"

"To sleep on the sofa. Don't tell me I don't deserve a pillow too."

The frown on his face made her chuckle. Y/N gently patted down on his side of the bed as she told him to get in with her. She wouldn't need to say it twice. Harry almost ran to her and in just a split second he was already snuggling in her arms.

She let him rest his head on her chest while stroking his hair like she usually did, which he loved. And so they lied there for a while, Harry staring at Y/N, who was staring at the ceiling. She was thinking of something, and he was too exhausted try and read her mind.

"You're not mad anymore?" He asked quietly.

"Can't stay mad at you. Trust me I've tried." Her answer put a beam upon his face. "I'm sorry I yelled at you though."

"I deserved that, I was an idiot."

"I agree with that."

"Hey!" He scoffs, making her laugh.

"What you did was stupid, but you were honest with me and I appreciate that." Y/N kissed his forehead, feeling him shifting to get comfortable as one of his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer.

"I don't know what happened love," he started. "I turned back into that same immature high school boy when I was with Mason. I guess he made me feel so insecure about myself that I just had to prove him wrong, even by winning a stupid game."

"What's there to be insecure about?"

Harry gave Y/N this look as if she'd just asked him if one plus one was two, because to him the answer was pretty obvious.

"He was always my grandparents' favorite. He was good at school, he was popular, he hung out with cool people. Now he's still doing better than me, he's rich and good-looking and—"

"Stop it!" Y/N laughed slightly as she cut him off. "Why do you have to see this as a competition? You're better than that. I know that he came here with his fiancé to rub it in our faces, but you allowed him to get to you." Harry puckered up his eyebrows, biting his lip as he listened to her. "I think he's secretly jealous of you because you don't even have to try hard and put other people down to get such a great life. Your life is actually better than his if you think about it. I mean, you have good friends, a cat, a family, a job that you love, and me. Those are the ones that matter, not people like Mason."

"You're right." He breathed, looking up at her.

She didn't intend to tell him this, but she thought she had to because he'd been honest with her. "Stephanie told me she wanted to go to the Prom with you, not him."

"I know."

Her eyes grew wide when she heard those two words. "You do?"

"Yeah, he told me how he made up the whole Olivia thing. What a dick. But why do you think it'd matter?" Harry released a laugh as he propped his head up on his elbow, gazing down at her.

"Never mind, it's silly." She shyly smiled and covered her face with her hands, but he removed them both so they could look at one another as they spoke.

"No, tell me. I want to know."

"Okay so I was afraid you'd feel disappointed after knowing Stephanie's engaged to Mason when that could be you if you'd gone to Prom with her."

"Awww, love..."

Y/N's face turned red as she started giggling. "I told you it was silly! Just forget it!"

"It is silly, Y/N. She's just some girl I fancied in high school, who cares if she's a model now and engaged to that asshole. I'm already engaged to the woman I love, I don't care about her."

Seeing the smile on his girl's face made Harry realize how right she was to say his life was better than Mason's. Mason either asked Steph to marry him because he couldn't tell lust from love or he just wanted to prove he was always one step ahead of Harry; whatever the reason was, Harry knows those two weren't in love and knew nothing about each other. He, on the contrary, was marrying the love of his life, his best friend, the kindest and sweetest person he'd ever known. So yes, this might not be a competition, but Harry thought he'd already won.

"Okay let's put this all behind us and move on, alright?" Y/N declares. "No more talks about Mason or Stephanie. Just focus on our thing from now on."

"Agreed." Harry gladly nods and is more than relieved to finally leave the feud with his cousin in the past.

Y/N, nevertheless, doesn't know that she will be the one to go against her own words, not until a week later, when she receives a wedding invitation from Mason and Stephanie.

"That bitch!!!"

"Y/N, language! Treasure can hear you!" Harry covers the cat's tiny ears as he watches his girl fall down by his side on the sofa.

"Here! See it for yourself!" She handed him the wedding invitation which had been sent in a fancy-looking white envelope. The entire thing had been hand-written, using sparkly gold ink. If they could be this extra for just their wedding invitations, Y/N couldn't imagine how their wedding was gonna be.

"An Alice in Wonderland themed wedding?" Harry chuckled as he read quickly through the lines. "Clever!"

"Of course it's clever!" Y/N cried out. "It's my idea! She stole it!"

"Aww baby you've never told me you wanted a—"

"It doesn't matter anymore, she stole my dream wedding theme!"

"Y/N," Harry calmly spoke while stroking the kitty on his lap. "Remember what you said, no more competition."

"But—"

"Baby, there are plenty of other literature classics for you to choose from, let it go, don't let this get to you," he said, picking up their cat's two paws to wave at her, that made her go soft again. "I'll help you come up with a better theme, yeah? We'll have a much cooler wedding and those people won't even be invited. Besides, we both know one of them is gonna file a divorce after a few weeks into their marriage, a month's top, I bet it's gonna be Stephanie."

The crinkles between Y/N's brows slowly eased as Harry's encouraging words had calmed her down. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before exhaling to retrieve her composure.

"Okay, you're right..." Y/N raised a forefinger. "I'm gonna let this go. But I'm not going to their wedding, because if I see her again I will fuck her up and it certainly won't be pretty!"

Then she soon noticed the strange look on his face.

"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing." Harry's dimples digged holes in his cheeks as he brought his lips down to lay a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth. "I just love you a lot, s'all."

And as simply as that, he got to see her smiling again.

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