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hwangism143 · 4 months

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battleground

synopsis: you hated your co-president, kim seungmin. but, it's your last year of high school and prom planning is up to the two of you. you just expect getting work done and leaving school. what you don't expect however, is kim seungmin looking after you (considering you never do) and you coaxing him into being your prom date.

pairing: non-idol!seungmin x fem!reader

genre: academic rival to lovers, crack, fluff, high school au, angst if you squint

warnings: swearing, mentions of eating, mentions of fatigue and fainting, sickness and overworking, slight themes of stalking, panic attack but not mentioned as such, mentions of alcohol, overconsumption of alcohol, a shit ton of pop culture references (i'm sorry)

word count: 21k words (?!)

requested by: @starlostseungmin (hi kaisey ily)

playlist: gorgeous - taylor swift, true love - p!nk, CHILL - stray kids, make you mine - madison beer, teenage dream - katy perry

a/n: real life men are better of as just enemies. my fictional rendition of seungmin, however, is not. (also i hope it isn't obvious that i have never been to prom.)

"you ruined my life, by not being mine"

"Was that an attempt of trying to flirt with me? Cause, wow, you need to step your game up," Seungmin told you with a smirk.

Sunlight streamed through the library windows, illuminating the dust that covered the bookshelves. They were proof of the lack of visits to the old haven of knowledge. Settled in an armchair was Kim Seungmin, book in one hand, glasses slightly crooked and one legged propped upon the other.

You let out a puff of breath in an attempt to calm yourself down because, who did he even think he was? "No, Kim, it wasn't. I am literally a teenage girl and yet, you are the most delusional person I have ever meet," you spit out, "The principal's calling us. Let's go."

"Alright, fine," Seungmin responded lazily. He stretched his long limbs and got up from the armchair he was cozily tucked up in.

He joined you on your walk towards the principal's office while you told off whatever force was above that caused you to be walking to impeding doom with Kim Seungmin on a Friday morning.

You both had a bitter rivalry that began your first year in high school. Coinciding with the fact that the said high school was also a boarding school, there was no escaping Seungmin. You couldn't even pinpoint when your feelings towards him changed from indifference to animosity; but having been pitted against each other for all your academic life at Park Academy, it certainly did make sense.

It wasn't that you didn't respect Seungmin. He was good at everything he did and a worthy opponent in all your endeavors. But he just made it so difficult for you to like him.

Your already dysfunctional relationship with him only took a turn for the worse this high school senior year. Both of you had decided to run for student council president. Despite all the campaigning and emotional blackmailing, you both had tied for the position.

Your incredible school, instead of holding a tie-breaker, deciding to make you both student council presidents. The idea of writing 'student council co-president' on your college applications physically made you wince.

But the worst part? Seungmin and you actually worked really well together. Deciding to keep your rivalry out of anything student council related on your first session (the banter continued though, nothing could take that away), you both had built up one of the best councils the school had seen under your shared leadership.

You didn't know just how well you both would get along when it came to matters as such, but that didn't lead to either of you warming up to each other. Conversation between you both strictly consisted of official matters and jabs at each other.

In fact, you hated each other's presence so much that you both almost instantly decided on splitting responsibilities to avoid running into each other. Oddly enough, you both seemed to agree on a lot of things. You always just brushed it off with a, great minds think alike.

Not that you would ever confess to Seungmin that you considered him to be someone with a 'great mind'.

The both of you walked towards the principal's office in silence. When you eventually got there, the receptionist quickly ushered you both inside. You smoothed down your skirt and sat down with your hands in you lap. Beside you, you noticed Seungmin drape his blazer over the back of his chair and take a seat.

Your principal was on a call and winked at the both of you, pointing towards the phone and turning her finger around in a circle near her temple. Seungmin flashed her a strained smile while you hoped that the expression of judgment on your face wasn't obvious.

For some reason, Principal Kim thought that she was your friend. When she finally put the phone down, she snorted, "Superintendents, am I right?"

Seungmin and you laughed weakly in response. Principals, am I right? was the phrase you were currently trying very hard to bite back.

Coming closer, Principal Kim laced her fingers together and leaned onto the table. "As you both know," she began, "We have around five months till prom."

A buzzing grew in your stomach, excitement engulfing your senses. Prom. Your sole respite, the event that you had looked forward to your entire high school life. From watching Disney movies romanticizing prom at a young age, to subsequently moving onto books that did the same, you felt like prom would be the pinnacle of your time in school.

"Now," continued Principal Kim, "While I do know that you both have a tendency to work separately, I would like you both to chair the prom committee together this year. We are thinking of making this year's prom one of Park Academy's finest. Take your time and compile the best Prom committee you can and get started on everything."

She clapped her hand and leaned back, beaming at her best students. "That is all," she smiled softly, nudging a tray of toffees towards you both.

Seungmin looked mortified at the thought of eating something from the principal's office like he was six. In any other circumstance you would have too, but the giddiness of both prom planning and not having had anything for over twenty four hours compelled you to take one.

"Aren't you excited?" you asked Seungmin as you both walked out of the door.

You were opening the toffee wrapper when he responded with a curt, "No. I personally believe that prom is a waste of time. I'll help in the committee planning and be present if I need to, but you can rightfully assume that I will not be enjoying any of it."

You were slightly shocked at his response but responded with a scathing, "I didn't know that the Kim Seungmin was too high and haughty for prom."

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to make eye contact with you. "Prom is like a playground for bullies and confused teenagers. It's a battleground for snarky comments and raging hormones and, might I add, brings out the worst in people."

He quickly turned on his heel and walked away before you could utter a word. You slowly let out a deep breath to control you anger and headed in the same direction as him, towards the cafeteria. You can hear the chatter of students and the sudden influx of sound momentarily causes your world to spin.

You're leaning against one of the lockers trying to steady yourself when feel an arm around your waist hoisting you up.

Hyunjin clicked beside you in disappointment. "Don't make me start feeding you now."

You just sighed in response and leaned your head against his shoulders. He was right, of course. You had the horrible habit of putting your health second (to last) with regards to anything that had to do with university and getting in. One of those things was skipping meals in favor of studying.

"I don't understand how people who sleep eight hours a day get shit done," you whined against Hyunjin.

"Well, has it ever occurred to you that people usually don't have as much shit to do as you do?" your best friend responded wisely. You lightly tapped the side of your sneaker against his.

Hwang Hyunjin was practically your brother in every aspect possible. He was lovable, caring, annoying and wanted to make you rip your hair out. All of this was what you assumed having a sibling was like, being an only child yourself. Ironically, he was one too.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You first met Hyunjin during an art class that you had to take for your first week of school. You struggled with drawing a straight line, while embarrassingly using a ruler. He was sitting beside you and calmly sketched one of the most incredible monochromatic landscapes you had ever seen.

When fourteen-year old Hyunjin gave your drawing a practically dangerous side eye and when you looked at him with eyes pleading to help you, the foundation of your friendship was laid. Later, when you handed him half a Snickers bar as a means of saying 'thank you', your friendship was cemented in chocolate and pencil shavings.

You both were joined at the hip ever since.

Your other best friend, Jeongin, had a habit of seemingly materializing out of nowhere and startling you in the process.

"Hi," he said, his face spawning in front of yours.

His wild hair and crazed smile caused you to yelp in surprise and hit your arm against the water fountain. Hyunjin laughed at your misfortune while Jeongin apologized with an extremely unapologetic smile. You resorted to glaring at both of them.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The story of how Jeongin turned your duo into your trio was a tale in itself. Jeongin was a year younger than you and Hyunjin, currently a junior. You had first spotted him on his first day of school, him waddling around like a lost duckling and you unwittingly (and unwillingly) taking on the role of a mother hen.

Hyunjin had seen young Jeongin standing in the crowd, desperately trying to act cool. Jeongin's shoes were a painful pattern of key lime and hot pink that most definitely did not match together. He wore an oversized jacket and sent a small nod towards everyone who looked his way, hands jammed in his jeans pocket.

"That one," Hyunjin declared while dragging you along with him, "We're adopting that one."

And so two became three.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Presently, you scoffed at Jeongin. "How did you even become student council vice president?"

Jeongin beamed at you, counting off his fingers as he listed of his campaigning winning qualities. "I'm hot, rich, smart and funny."

Hyunjin snorted in response, him on one side of you and Jeongin on the other. "Innie, you are several things but smart is not one of them."

You were compelled to nod in response as Jeongin responded with a gasp, "You too? How could you betray me as well."

You would have issued a sarcastic reply to what he said, but you were too distracted by Hyunjin being distracted. He had suddenly stood still at the entryway of cafeteria, staring at something in the distance.

When you followed his line of sight, you suppressed the urge to burst out into laughter. Jeongin, however, did not.

"Gosh Hyunjin," he wheezed between laughs, "Just ask Riya out. Watching you suffer in this down bad, unspoken friend zoned phase is pitiful."

Hyunjin had been in love with Riya Rai for well over two years. You could obviously tell why; she was gorgeous, smart and a part of Hyunjin's dance class. You were truly rooting for them to start dating, Riya being one of your roommates.

You still remembered the way Hyunjin gushed over her classical dance audition. ('I couldn't understand the words but it was like she was flying!') Jeongin too, was subject to Hyunjin's hopeless love for her. Being the kind of person Hyunjin was, he fell for her hard and deep.

You were happy for Hyunjin, you truly were. But a part of you longed to feel a love like that for somebody. Not even a relationship, just feel love dripping into your heart until it rushed in like a torrent.

You were always so busy with proving yourself to others, that you never really took the time to introspect your own desires.

"Hyunjin," you asked impatiently once you remembered what exactly you wanted to talk about.

"Hm?" he responded as you both grabbed your food and sat at a table with your regular friend group.

Riya slid in beside Hyunjin and you could feel him visibly tense. You couldn't understand why he was so nervous to profess his feelings for her. Any girl (apart from you, because ew) would be willing to date Hyunjin.

Riya brightly made her pleasantries after which you asked solemnly, "Guys. Would you do me the honor of being part of the prom planning committee?"

Riya and Hyunjin were the few people who shared the enthusiasm for prom which you did. Riya mouth slowly hung open while Hyunjin sharply took in a breath.

"Really?" he whispered in awe.

You nodded happily as Hyunjin hugged you from one side and Riya clambered over to where you were sitting to wrap her arms around you. "IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou," she repeated like a chant while Hyunjin excitedly began plotting décor ideas.

Maybe you wouldn't need romantic love while you had them.

You were busy people watching and tuning out Riya and Hyunjin's enthusiastic chatter when you caught site of Seungmin. He was sitting with his best friend, Lee Felix. You found their friendship quite odd. How could the embodiment of happiness be so close with the devils spawn?

I guess opposites attract platonically too.

You lamented at the thought of co-heading a prom committee with a partner who hated prom until an idea struck you. If Kim Seungmin hated prom, you could teach him how to love it. That lunch break, you made an executive decision that, unbeknown to you, would inevitably change you life.

You decided to open Kim Seungmin's eyes to the brilliance of prom.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - five months.

Seungmin stood next to you as you both waited for the rest of the student council members to make their way for your impromptu Saturday meeting. The two of you stared up at one of the most monstrous things you had ever seen in your lives.

A large banner with a blue background and the words "T-5 MONTHS TILL PROM!!!" in an ugly orange text stared back at you.

You gaped at the banner, seething with anger. "Let me find the person whose amazing idea this was and rearrange their body proportions for them."

Seungmin just responded calmly, "Maybe this is a sign from the universe to get our act together, delegate responsibilities to the committee and actually get started on prom."

"Not all of us are as optimistic as you, Kim," you told him dryly.

"Not all of us have an insatiable bloodlust, candy cane," he retorted monotonously.

Your mouth pressed into a thin line as you turned to see Seungmin's eyebrow cocked in a persumed sense of superiority.

You despised the nickname, a knowing jab at your short stature. Seungmin first called you candy cane when he noted how your height was nearly equivalent to the candy canes lining your school halls in your junior year.

It had stuck when you both were privately conversing with each other ever since.

His indifference slightly bristled you, but then again you were known for having a slightly short temper.

Chatter flowed in through the library's door, accompanied by the sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor. People who you and Seungmin had individually contacted, along with most student council members, began entering the room.

You noticed Hyunjin making his way to sit next to Riya, who was busy in conversation with Felix. The three of them were known for being close due to dance club. You shot Hyunjin an encouraging smile and he gave you a slightly crooked one.

Jeongin bounded up to the front to assume his rightful place as vice president. You ruffled his hair and he pinched your arm in retaliation. Your little squeal and his irritated grunt earning an annoyed look from Seungmin.

He cleared his throat loudly, instantly commanding the attention of the entire room. Faces turned to look at him when his voice called out, "I hope you all know why we have gathered here today."

He turned to look at you, your cue to begin talking. "As you may be aware, you all have been selected as this year's Park Academy Prom Committee!"

The room burst into applause as Seungmin continued, a routine familiar to you both. You didn't know how the two of you did it. Without even prior conversation, you two fell into sync when it came to addressing the crowd in front of you for your co-lead student council meetings.

Once again you chalked it up to, great minds think alike. There was no way you and Seungmin had anything else in common, apart from the occasional train of thought.

Right?

When your long sermon was finally finished, the room was buzzing with excitement. Teenage hormones and the onset of prom brewed a recipe for eager anticipation. This is it, you thought, this is the last piece of my childhood I have left.

On the advice of Principal Kim, you and Seungmin split the overall committee into three groups: one for decorations, one for publicity and one to arrange entertainment.

Jeongin had proclaimed himself the 'god of social media' and sauntered off to the group in charge of publicity. Hyunjin, Riya and Felix automatically were presumed to be part of décor, with Hyunjin elected head of their group. ('I will not let my team down. Over my dead fucking body,' he told you in complete seriousness later that day.)

Finally, you and Seungmin were left handling booking and anything else payment and transaction related. Principal Kim's vehement repetition of how she only trusted the two of you with cash was seared into your brain.

As you both took rounds of the large library hall, something kept nagging at you, itching the back of your brain. It disheartened you to see how warmly everyone interacted with Seungmin in comparison with you.

What bothered you even more, however, was how warmly Seungmin, interacted with others when compared to you.

Being likable was one of, if not the biggest goal in your life. Knowing that a single person disliked you sent you into a frenzy. Call it your upbringing or society, either way you felt like everybody you knew had to find you to be a good person, or else you weren't.

Other people's opinions were like medicine to you. Gaining external validation became such a large part of your life that sometimes, you forgot that what you thought, what you wanted, mattered as well.

And in this draining people-pleasing process, you weren't quite 'friends' with everyone. You were friendly and appreciated among your students, yes. But you didn't have a large friend group full of people who cherished your very existence, like Seungmin.

That was probably why you called Hyunjin and Jeongin were your best friends. It took away from the fact that they were your only friends. Seeing them with their own, other friends hurt, but it was too late now.

There was no point making more friends when you would be gone anyways. And despite how much you wanted to, you knew that creating deeper connections only to break them away would prove pointless.

You and Seungmin settled into the small bean bag pods which were propped up against the empty library walls. He scrolled through his phone with utmost concentration as you did the same, tapping away at your laptop keys.

"We'll have to sit with Lily for planning the budget," Seungmin broke the silence while referring to the committee treasurer, "But she has texted me the overall amount we have in the trust."

Seungmin opened the message and angled his phone towards you, eliciting a gasp from your mouth.

"That is an insane amount. Do you know what this means? We truly can make this Park Academy's best prom yet!" you excitedly began listing off the non-existent limits to which the money could spent.

"You forgot something," Seungmin added, stunning you to silence. What could have you forgotten about prom which Seungmin could have remembered?

The stoic expression on his face, however, told you it was nothing good.

"We need to show extreme constraint while using the money and be strict on the group," Seungmin huffed.

You blew in anger, "The entire point of having an extensive budget is to let loose! God, you're like the Grinch of prom or something."

"Please sweetheart," he snorted, "I'm far better looking than him. Even you can't deny that."

And as infuriating Seungmin seemed to you, he was correct. Seungmin was drop dead gorgeous. Even in a plain school uniform, he had the power to turn several heads. In fact, you would be lying if you said that you didn't find him a teensy bit attractive.

Not that he would ever obtain that information.

Seungmin went back to work, looking for banquet halls and hotels open to being the venue for prom. You observed him carefully, trying to figure the psychology behind why he hated prom. Then, you realized that to to succeed in your mission, you didn't have too.

The Grinch fell in love with Christmas too...

"I have made an executive decision," you announced to no one but Seungmin in particular.

He looked up, an expression of boredom and confusion coating his features.

"How exactly, darling, did you take an executive decision without consulting half of the executive. I thought you were smart enough to know how decision making takes place," a smug smile adorned him.

You rolled your eyes at him, "I will make you like prom."

Seungmin scoffed, "As if. You know what, Y/N? I bet you can't."

You sighed in fake defeat, cheering inside. One thing about having an academic rival was predicting their moves to the point where you knew how to trap them. It was like a game of chess, where Seungmin thought he had the upper hand, but you were one move away from checkmate.

You understood what made Seungmin tick, what ignited passion in him and what triggered him. You knew how to get a rise out of him and get him to calm down. More terrifyingly so, you knew that he knew the same.

You likened it to years of shared dislike, denying the fact that you both maybe were alike.

"I mean, considering our role in the entire organization of prom, we'll be stuck together all night anyways," you lamented in disappointment, "Truthfully speaking, I honestly did expect you to decline my invitation to formally attend prom with me as my de facto date."

"Although I wasn't planning on calling you that," you included for good measure.

You decided to deviate from telling him the real reason why you wanted to take him to prom. Out of everyone in this school, Seungmin was the last person left whose good books you didn't have so much as a footnote in.

You knew that this little social experiment of yours to leave school with everyone singing praises about you was highly selfish, but you needed this to feel worthy of graduating. You needed this to feel worthy of being a part of a social communities.

You could practically see the anger teeming from Seungmin at proving you right. "Fine," he spit out, "I'll be your date."

Checkmate.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - four months and 16 days.

With final assessments right around the corner, physical committee meetings came to a halt. All conversations took place through group chats and the occasional locker meetups. In all the frenzy of studying, you were once again indulging in sleepless nights and nutrition-less days.

Seungmin had gone into hibernation mode and as had you. All your phones were on do not disturb and casual fun was out of the question. Today, you had taken release in the library, headphones on and coffee in hand.

You were (pathetically, to some, advantageously, to you) on a first name basis with the resident librarian. Because of you often staying late nights (correction: all night) in the library, you even had your own spare key to lock up when you were done. It was a little secret you both shared.

Today, however, you felt uneasy. A transfer student by the name of Benji had been unceasingly making romantic advances towards you the past week. Although you reject him multiple times, his feats of grandeur only grew.

He was currently sitting a few tables away from you, the only other person in the library apart from librarian Kang. Even though he attempted to look busy and engrossed in the book in his hand, he kept stealing glances from you.

It was late, very much so. Everybody would be asleep and you didn't want to disturb anyone. You calmed your nerves but reached your breaking point when Kang asked Benji if he planned to leave anytime soon and he refused.

In a state of both fear and fatigue, you dialed the number of the only person who you knew would be awake at this time and waited for the call to ring out.

"Hello?" came Seungmin's bewildered voice. You rarely called him and even then, never at this hour.

"Seungmin, hi. I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor?" you asked him, hoping to suppress the anxiety in your voice.

He must have noticed though, because his voice was alert. "Sure, what's up?"

"You know how Benji has been treating me, right?"

He hummed in acknowledgement. Of course he knew. Benji boasted so much that everyone knew.

"Well, I'm in the library and so is he. He's the only one here and it's kinda freaking me out. If it's ok with you, can you please just stay on call with me just in case? You can put me on hold or something, just please be active. I'm really sorry but you're the only other person who I knew would be awake right now."

You heard rustling in the background and his voice finally came back, "Wait. My dorm is loud anyways so I'll meet you there."

"Oh, okay, okay."

To your extreme relief, Seungmin did not hang up the call. Instead, you could hear his footsteps. All the mundane sounds of him locking his dorm, shoes slapping against the concrete and heavy breathing (due to running, but that didn't make sense) oddly calmed you down.

That was, however, until Benji walked over to where you were sitting. He gave you a venomous smile and leaned over to books right above your head. Pulling out a book from the shelf above your head and walked away, something sharp glinting in his hand.

You breathing quickened. "Seungmin, he has a sharp object. I have assessed all possible escape routes. I would suggest that you leave as I will probably as well if the situation escalates."

"Are you fucking out of your mind?" he questioned, almost sounding angry that you had even thought of saying something like that.

"I'm not leaving you alone with him or giving him an opportunity to fuck with the students of this school. He may be here for only two weeks, but I'll make sure he doesn't hurt a single person."

The steel in his voice made you shudder. You did not want to be on Kim Seungmin's death list. The library doors swung open as librarian Kang let out an exasperated sigh.

"Another wannabe Einstein," she muttered under her breath as Seungmin made his way towards you.

He looked like a sight for sore eyes in his plain sweater and gray sweatpants. Seungmin gave you a subtle not and took a seat right beside you, pulling out his books and tablet. Soon you both started studying and, before you knew it you both were engaged in a heated competition to see who could solve as many trigonometry problems as possible correctly, in the least time.

Throughout this duration, you didn't find out much personally about him, but saw a more carefree side of him. In fact, you liked this carefree side of him.

He winced when you pointed out the simple mistake he made that caused him to lose in the end. "I can't believe I've forgotten what the division symbol looks like."

You giggled and poked his arm, legs underneath your feet. "Is this what letters in math is doing to you?"

Seungmin shrugged sheepishly with a tiny smile. "Go ahead, shortcake, gloat."

Instead, you posed him with a question, "Why do you always insult my height? Like, that seems to be your favorite."

Maybe, just maybe, you were imagining it, but you saw a light blush scatter over Seungmin's cheeks. He cleared his throat and, in what must have been a moment of vulnerability said, "You are good at literally everything else. Your height is the only thing I can ask you about."

You stared at him slightly open mouthed at his sudden respect. In an instant, the room felt to hot and Seungmin's face felt to close to yours. The moment was broken, however, by the simultaneous and not at all harmonious chorus of a chair scratching against the floor and you're stomach rumbling.

Benji was gone and but your appetite was back. Seungmin must have heard it too because his right eyebrow was ticked up.

"When, exactly, did you last eat?"

"Today," you admitted sheepishly, "Morning. At 6."

"And what was it?"

Another gulp. "A banana."

Seungmin shook his head in disappointment and rifled through his bag. He pulled out a mushed granola bar and handed it to you.

"Eat," he commanded.

"Okay," you said meekly. "Wait, this is my favorite brand!"

"Yeah, I think you mentioned that before," Seungmin said nonchalantly, but you noted the slight quiver in his voice.

You took a bite and it felt like your body was screaming at you. It felt so good to eat after just having six in the morning bananas for the past few days, that you little out an embarrassing little squeal in content.

"I'm surprised you remembered," you referenced Seungmin earlier statement and folded the wrapper in a neat rectangle. Putting it in your pocket to throw away later, you waited for Seungmin's response.

It never came. His head was bent and he was hard at work, evidently ignoring. Seeing this as an indication that the conversation was over, you got back to your own work. That wasn't, however, without a feeling of something new that wasn't hate - adjacent.

You felt a little blossom of affection in your stomach for the boy flipping through the pages of his notebook beside you.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - it's finals!

You slammed your Astrophysics textbook against your desk, yet again unable to get stuff to fit in your brain. It was your last final and while you crammed for your other subjects, Seungmin had told Hyunjin that you were back to your old habits. Hyunjin and Riya had then joined hands and blackmailed you into (yuck) taking care of yourself.

"Seriously," you grumbled, "How do people who get eight hours of sleep get their shit done?"

Finally coming to the conclusion that you were helpless, you reached for your phone to text all your questions to Seeun, the assistant teacher. Seeun was a university student interning at your school, and an alumni as well. Citing how she was very much close in age with the students of your grade (if six years is considered 'close'), she insisted that you all call her Seeun and not Miss Choi.

You were in such a rush that you didn't even check for typos, tackling another chapter while waiting for Seeun's response. You still had one more day to study, considering that your exam was the day after tomorrow, you were going to use all twenty four hours and more to your advantage, not wasting a single bit.

Finding it odd that Seeun still hadn't responded considering how bored she always said she was and her frighteningly quick response times, you decided to check your phone. To your horror, however, you found out that in your rush, instead of sending your questions to Seeun, you had sent them to Seungmin.

His responses were almost instantaneous.

[8:18 AM]

You: [sent attachment]

You: Hi Seeun, I had a few questions regarding these topics. I was wondering if we could meet up tmrw to discuss them? Thx!

[8:20 AM]

kim stuck-up seungmin (sigh): i'm not seeun, but i could help

kim stuck-up seungmin (sigh): i tutored a few seniors taking this class last year

kim stuck-up seungmin (sigh): if you want, how does the coffee shop down the street at eight sound to you?

You were practically smiling at your phone. It obviously had to do about the fact that it was someone offering you help, not that it was Seungmin specifically. (Duh?) After waging a long, internal war, you finally opted to sacrifice what little dignity you had in front of Seungmin's eyes and take him up on his offer.

[2:47 PM]

You: really? omg thx!

You: see you then

[2:48 PM]

kim stuck-up seungmin (sigh): k, ig i'll see you there

Huh. Weird. Seungmin was notorious for being known to reply to people after a minimum of at least two hours, if they were lucky enough not to be left on read.

Not reading to much into it, you went back to work. Work wasn't just work though. It was an influx of nervous butterflies accompanying it. Not that it had anything to do with Seungmin, of course.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

When you got to the coffee shop that morning, it was technically 7:55. But, as you had always been taught, five minutes early is on time. Seungmin must have abided by that philosophy too, because soon he stumbled through the door.

You hadn't even picked a table to sit at when he tapped you shoulder and said, "Hey."

You turned to find Seungmin with the same green, battered back pack he took everywhere slung over one shoulder. His hair was tousled in an endearing way that made you want to squish him. His eyes were surprisingly warm and his lips were turned up.

"Like what you see sweetheart?" he teased.

You rolled your eyes at him, "No, of course not. It's like looking at something so hideous that you can't peel your eyes off of it."

He gave you a good natured laugh and walked alongside you to the coffee table.

After much deliberation, which mainly consisted of you and Seungmin arguing over the pros and cons of a window seat, you finally settled on a seat close enough to the large glass window for Seungmin's satisfaction and far enough to not prove distracting to you.

When your sugar packet tower fell down in the process of building it, he grinned at you again. It felt nice, having Seungmin's smile directed towards you.

Whoa, slow down there. Are you ok?

Without even realizing what you were saying, you asked Seungmin, "Why do you always cover your face when you laugh?"

Seungmin's smile slightly faded. "When I was in middle school, I used to wear braces. The kids... they found it weird, which meant they found me weird."

You were shocked. How could anyone dislike his smile? Seungmin's smile was one of the prettiest smile's you had ever seen. And mind you, you used to hate Kim Seungmin.

Used to. Now, it was more like you were tolerating him, sometimes even appreciating him. Wow, something really is wrong with you.

You snorted. "If I could travel back in time," you declared, "I would deck those dumbasses in the phase."

Seungmin choked on the coffee that the waitress had dropped off a few minutes ago. He surprisingly remembered your order, despite you only mentioning it to him during his student council coffee runs only once or twice before.

"Y/N, I'm pretty sure that's a crime," Seungmin snickered.

You raised your eyebrows in response. "And if you don't help me with this, I'm about to commit a crime, and you won't be in a position to testify."

With that, the lessons began.

Seungmin was an extremely good teacher. He was well known among the student body for being the kind of tutor that took F grades and turned them into a B+ or A-. Even you wanted to start tutoring, but your patience often wore thin faster than it did for others.

Seungmin though, didn't break a sweat. He revised concepts over and over again until you understood, making sure that at the end, you didn't have a single semblance of a doubt in your mind when it came to the related topic.

Two hours later, you were finally done.

"Now," Seungmin announced, "We will have some fun and let loose."

You were putting your books inside when you clicked a pen in your hand restlessly. "You, prim and proper Kim Seungmin, want to 'let loose' and 'have some fun'?"

Seungmin clicked his tongue in exasperation. "Look tiny, I'm disciplined, but I know my limits. You have already studied everything to the T. Plus, your exam is tomorrow. Get some fresh air and take a break now, then revise once more in the evening."

You wondered how he could be so careless when he probably had an exam tomorrow too. "What about you? Don't you have to study as well?"

Seungmin sent you a devious grin and you felt your knees go weak a little (No. What?)

"I had my last exam yesterday, honey," he happily shared, patting your head in mock pity in the process.

Honey, that was new. You were so used to the reoccurrences of 'darling', 'sweetheart' and terms related to your height that the new nickname caught you slightly off guard.

You hoped the expression on your face clearly conveyed that you found his actions traitorous. "How dare you prey on a vulnerable young woman just to quench your loneliness?"

"Come on," Seungmin coaxed, "We can hit the boardwalk, get lunch and go back to the dorms. You and I both know that we aren't invited to Saturday gatherings due to unfortunately being classified as 'nerds'."

In the end, you relented. After all, who can say no to someone whose beaming smile rivalled the shine of a rainbow and whose honeyed voice washed over you like a soothing balm?

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Boardwalk was the name that the students had given to the all year amusement park reminiscent set up that was just a few minutes away from the dorms. You had come here several times, but rarely with someone else and mostly to clear your head. (And watch toddlers shrieking on the carousel).

The moment you got your pink wristbands, Seungmin dragged you to the stalls where you played to win a plushie. He was so intent on winning something that you found it almost adorable.

"You do know that these are all scams, right? There's no way you'll win," you stated confidently, disregarding the mammoth scowl on the game operators face."

Seungmin lazily picked up a dart and aimed for the balloons hung on the wall. He cocked his head towards you and gave you a wink, "This one's for you, sweetheart."

To your utmost surprise, the dart hit the balloon perfectly. Even Seungmin looked stunned. The operator offered him another dart and you a self-assured smirk. He once again hit the dart again, with a satisfying pop!.

"All right folks," the operator droned, "Pick a stuffed toy."

Seungmin nudged you slightly, "Which one?"

You glanced at him, "You won, so it's only fair that you choose."

Seungmin smirked at you, "Nope. I recall mentioning that that one was for you."

Heat pooled in your stomach, which shouldn't have. Especially when the cause were Kim Seungmin.

"Okay," you jutted out your head to make eye contact with him and turned back to choose the lucky stuffed toy.

You pointed at a medium sized elephant plushie and grabbed it eagerly. Holding it tight to your chest you said, "What should we name our child Seungmin?"

He presented you with no reply and a face contorted with judgement.

Pouting, you mockingly told the elephant, "Look, your father doesn't love you."

Feigning an offended gasp, Seungmin promptly snatched the elephant from you, "Don't listen to your mother, Ello."

"Ello?" You laughed.

"Shh," Seungmin chastised, "Let my inner European be free."

The mild spring breeze whipped your hair around and you took of your jacket, wrapping it around your waist. You spotted a fallen rose and quickly went to pick it up. It was still in pristine condition and in a random bout of girlhood, you tried to tuck it behind your ear.

Silently, Seungmin motioned towards you taking Ello and you handing him the rose. Seungmin somehow managed to break of the thorns without cutting himself.

Delicately lifting up the hair behind your hair, he began to adjust the rose in place. Since he was considerably taller than you, Seungmin leaned in front. You could see every valley and crevice in his face and for some reason, you wanted to hold it in your arms.

A rush thumped through your chest. As silly as it seemed, nobody had ever quite touched you like that. Seungmin's breath smelled like chocolates and cinnamon.

A rebellious part if you wondered if that was what he would taste like.

Lightly clearing his throat, he continued walking and you followed wordlessly. A few random rides later, you both finally found yourself in front of the Disco Pang Pang. A smile tugged at your lips. You were so going on this ride today.

Cheeks flushed from the fun you were having, you said breathlessly, "Let's go."

Seungmin visibly gulped, "I don't know."

"Aw come on, don't tell me you're scared." Seeing the petrified expression on his face however, you quickly retracted your statement. "It's fine, we don't have to,"

"No, it's okay," Seungmin managed weakly, "Just, hold me please."

Handing Ello to one of the fair volunteers, you both clambered up the metal stairs and took a seat on the foam benches. Seungmin was right next to you, his arm around the railing of where you sat.

Your initial excitement of experiencing this wore off, however, when the machine suddenly lurched forward. It threw Seungmin on you and his arms instinctively curved around your waist.

The warmth from his body radiated into you and for a moment stayed frozen, eyes glued on each other. You felt electric shocks where he touched you and trembled slightly.

Catching his breath, Seungmin began to apologize profusely. "I'm sorry I didn't mean too-"

The machine lurched again and again. Seungmin had figured out how to maintain his balance and stayed the distance of an arm's length away from you. When it was finally over, you both stumbled onto solid ground, clutching your stomachs.

"That. Was. Awesome!" You decided, delight etching your face.

"I'm convinced you're a six year old boy stuck in an eighteen year old girl's body," Seungmin groaned.

Agreeing upon this being enough fun for one day you both walked back to the dorms and went your separate ways. Astoundingly, Seungmin's advice of taking a break in between studying did help and you noticed that you were retaining information better.

You wanted to thank him and grabbed your phone.

[7:26 PM]

You: ty maybe.

You: I *kinda* had fun today

[7:30 PM]

Ello's dad: just admit it darling

Ello's dad: im fun

[7:31 PM]

You: in ur dreams Kim, in ur dreams

[7:32 PM]

Ello's dad: well then, ig I'll be dreaming of you tonight

You smiled despite yourself and went to bed.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - three months and twenty-five days.

Your relationship with Seungmin was somehow significantly improving. Yes, you still did indulge in your regular banter, but you both now had the ability to have full conversations without actually insulting the other person.

Your exams were finally over and, as presumed, both you and Seungmin had equal grades. What you didn't expect however, was even sharing the title of valedictorian with Seungmin.

The you before your impromptu study session would have been spitting fireballs. The you currently was looking forward to embarrassing Seungmin a little bit (in all good fun), during your moment in the spotlight.

In the fast paced environment of writing finals, wrapping up college applications and facing parents at parent - teacher meetings, the prom committee had forgotten one, extremely crucial component of prom planning: Picking a theme.

It was so stupid, really. None of you even realized until the décor committee was busy trying to decide on decorations and Felix meekly articulated, "Uh, guys. I don't think we ever decided on a set theme."

Seungmin eyes grew wide and you took in a sharp breath. How could you forget something so important? Frantic chatter arose and in a futile-ish attempt, you yelled out to the students, "Guys! Let's just come up with ideas, but in an orderly fashion."

In an instant, the room began quieting down and hands were raised, full of ideas. Seungmin gave you an impressed look and everyone slowly began suggesting various prom themes.

"What if," Noelle screamed from the back of the room, "We had a Paris inspired theme? I know, Paris nights!"

The entire room let out a collective groan. If Korea had koreaboos, then Noelle was some fucked up version of a French-boo. She boasted to whoever would listen that she had French blood, if being named Noelle and visiting Canada for two weeks constituted French heritage.

Riya ears perked up however, and she asked, "How about Aphrodite's Garden?"

You and Seungmin exchanged a look. "Elaborate," asked Seungmin.

Hyunjin gave Riya an encouraging shove and she stood up, "How about a spring theme, but instead of the classic flowers and leaves, it's more sensual and inspired by Greek mythology?"

The room broke into excited conversation, seemingly approving of Riya's idea. Hyunjin stood up next to her, "Riya and I could prepare a mood board and send it to the group chat."

"All in favor," Seungmin asked. A clear majority.

"Perfect," you smiled, "Then it's settled. The theme will be Aphrodite's Garden."

The room went back to it's raucous state as you stepped aside for a moment, head pounding from a headache. You had a cold and staying up all night studying for scholarship tests did not help. You knew you had to pass them though. You weren't willing to give your parents another reason to demean you for being a burden.

You were massaging your temples when Seungmin came up from behind you. "Are you okay?" he asked, voice laced with concern.

"Yep," you tried to muster a positive tone, "Just a headache. I'm peachy."

"Peachy?" Seungmin inquired, his eyebrow cocked upwards and tone full of mischief.

"Don't assume that I don't use the word peachy unironically," you huffed.

Still, Seungmin's apprehensive expression and the exponentially increasing pounding in your head made you feel your gut that something bad was brewing.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You, Jeongin and Hyunjin waited patiently in the computer lab the next day. Hyunjin and Riya had made the mood board for Aphrodite's Garden, but wanted the input of you, Seungmin and Jeongin.

All three of you stood near the window, peering out of the glass and observing the ant-like players on the soccer field below. You wondered what was so appealing about kicking a ball on a Saturday morning.

Hyunjin looked troubled, "I want to ask Riya to prom. But I don't know how."

You let out a sneeze in response and Hyunjin wordlessly handed you a tissue, the despair never leaving his face.

You slightly understood the reasoning behind Hyunjin's thinking. It was promposal season, people planning elaborate and innovative ways to ask each other to prom. Considering the high school you were at, this more often than not involved Rube Goldberg machines and periodic table confessions.

Jeongin let out an audibly exasperated huff of breath. "If you like Riya, just ask her out. The worst she could say is no."

Before you could add onto Jeongin's admonishment, a voice cut through the room.

"What?"

Your eyes widened as you clapped your hand to your mouth. Hyunjin felt himself stumble backwards and Jeongin muttered a low "Fuck" under his breath.

Judging by the tone of the voice and familiar sweetness, you knew it could only belong to one person. Time felt like a concept out of grasp as you, Hyunjin and Jeongin turned to face Riya, standing in the doorway with shock painted on her face.

"I- I can't," she tripped over the doorstep, "Look, I'll just send them to you, I-"

Riya steadied herself, holding on the the doorframe, and then fled the room. Hyunjin glanced at you, his eyes full of pleading.

"Go, quickly," you commanded, and he rushed out of the room in Riya's stead.

"See, this is why you're my favorite," Hyunjin told you while ruffling you, scowling at Jeongin. You sniffed in response as Jeongin's jaw clenched.

Just then, Seungmin entered the room, giving both Hyunjin and Riya and irritated glare. "Weren't they supposed to show us something?"

"They'll just send it to one of us," you told Seungmin, your voice coming out weaker than expected.

"You know what," Jeongin threw his hands up in the air in rage, "Fuck this. If they are out, I am out."

Seungmin stared at you quizzically, as if trying to unravel the pieces of the puzzle that made you, well, you. His eyes must have taken in your sickness - stricken state because the curiosity on his face morphed into concern.

"Are you okay?" Seungmin asked, stepping closer to you.

"Fine," you choked out, but you knew you weren't.

Your head felt like a thousand drills were screwing into it. You felt hot and cold at the same time, throat parched and dry. Your body felt like lead, being weighed down at ever movement. You knew these were the textbook symptoms of a fever and then some more.

You tried to walk forward, but couldn't hold your balance. Dazed, you felt your consciousness slowly slip away due to the lack of sleep you were forcing yourself to put up with it. Exhaustion didn't come to you in raindrops, it came to you in a torrential shower.

The last thing you felt was Seungmin's arms holding you up as your entire world shrouded in darkness.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

When you came to, you were still in the classroom, water droplets running down your face. Seungmin looked guilty and the bottle of water in his hand told you everything you needed to know.

"Sorry," Seungmin said sheepishly, "I didn't know what else to do."

You waved him off, still trying to fully gain control of your senses. You blinked slowly and languidly, adjusting slowly to the light. The sudden shift from complete darkness to windows that let in natural light was slightly painful.

You placed your palms flat against the floor, where Seungmin had most likely placed you. The cool sting of the marble tiles was a welcoming sensation, the bite of it rebooting your brain. You straightened your skirt but your head was still fucking hurting.

"What exactly happened?" you asked weakly.

You knew that women were often taken advantage of in such situations. You knew you could trust Seungmin with your life though. He would never hurt you in any sense, and the past few weeks only solidified that fact for you. Still, asking was like second nature for you.

"Oh, uhm, you fell and I caught you and somehow managed to lean you against the wall," Seungmin stuttered.

He let out a weary sigh and rubbed his eyes vigorously. It was almost as if he was the one who had just fainted and was sitting on a cold marble floor. The thought made you laugh, but the way your chest constricted in pain when the laugh travelled up your bones made you push it down.

"Let's-" you managed until you let out a sneeze, "Let's get back to work. Hyunjin or Riya must have sent the designs by now."

Seungmin looked at you, appalled. "No. Are you insane? You probably are. I'm taking you back to your dorms and making you something warm to eat, no questions asked."

"Seungmin, you don't have to," you let out, your voice hoarse. But despite your mental and vocal protests, your body couldn't fight it anymore. It was begging, screaming for help and you had ignored it wrong enough."

Seungmin set you a look that could kill and held out his palm. You grabbed onto it, and with his help stood up. You legs were so weak, however, that you fell forward again. The world was spinning and you were falling and falling until you weren't.

The entire time, only one thought rang over and over again in your head, like a sickly song.

Was success, was making the people around you proud, was your hard work really worth this form of self inflicted torture you were putting yourself through?

Seungmin's arms steadied your waist as you arms flew up to his shoulders. You were in close proximity now, close enough that you could see your reflection in his eyes. God, you looked like shit.

The concern in his eyes and the pain you were both mentally and physically going through finally made you snap.

Without warning, tears filled your eyes and cascaded down your cheeks. You were so, so tired. Seungmin didn't say anything, but he understood. Of course he understood. You couldn't deny it any longer. Being compared and set against each other didn't make you two poles on other sides of your respective worlds; in fact, it did the very opposite.

You were so accustomed to the thought of each other, that you had become a reflection of each other. There was no Y/N L/N without Kim Seungmin and no Kim Seungmin without Y/N L/N.

Your lives had become so intricately intertwined that the thought of a world without Seungmin, without the jabs and maddening nicknames, without the warm smiles that were solely reserved for you when somebody made an out of pocket comment at one of your student council meetings, felt impossible.

You felt your arms effortlessly slip down Seungmin's shoulder and around his waist. Your head automatically found a spot on his chest. You knew that your tears were staining his shirt, you knew that you were helpless and vulnerable, but you didn't care.

Seungmin kept you anchored as your mind swam through every dark tunnel that dug itself throughout your life. This time, you weren't frolicking in them. This time, you weren't finding solace in them because of your self proclaimed incompetence.

This time, you were sealing them shut for good and the only reason you could was because you knew Seungmin was there. He was there, he was there, he was there.

When Seungmin lightly placed his chin over your head, you didn't mind being short. His hands soothingly smoothed your hair over and over again as you noiselessly let out all the pent up emotions and feelings that grew into this black hole that was sucking the life out of you.

You stepped back. "I'm sorry," you sobbed.

"It's fine, you're good," he whispered softly.

Holding you forearm gently, he walked you out of the room you both were in and in the direction of your dorm. You furiously rubbed at your cheeks, attempting to lose any indication of you previously pathetic state, but you stopped when a shot of something you hadn't felt in a long time rushed back to you: indifference.

In this moment, you didn't care that the regality with which you held yourself in front of Seungmin and the world was soiled under your feet.

All you cared about was that you finally had a person who would hold you while you break and pick up the pieces with you when you were ready, mending you and healing and hell, loving you back to a state of somewhat living.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Your hands were shaking so much and your vision was so blurry when you tried to unlock your dorm room door that Seungmin had to ease the key out of your finger. He slid it in and with a click, the door swung upon.

You pulled out strength from the nooks and crannies of your being to actually change into something comfortable. Seungmin surprisingly also had a change of clothes in his bag, until you later remembered that he had baseball matches every Saturday morning at dawn.

You came out of your room wearing cat faced pajamas that were a little big for you but cozy nonetheless. Seungmin looked you up and down with a smirk on his face.

"Shall I call you kitty cat now?" his tone heavy with fake torment and real intention.

There was no way you were getting out of this one.

"Shut up, puppy," you referenced the small puppy face on his t-shirt as you padded towards the bar stools that stood along your kitchen counter.

"Okay, kitty cat," he grinned while you groaned.

In the fifteen minutes Seungmin had spent inside your dorm room, he had located the medicine cabinet and slid a bottle of Tylenol and a spoon. You withered under his expectant stare and duly obliged.

"Fair warning," Seungmin said casually as he took out some instant ramen and a saucepan, "I'm a horrible cook."

You probably would have flipped him off for his easy-going tone while saying that he could food poison you if he wasn't the reason you were in the comfort of your home right now.

"Just don't give me acidity. I would probably die and if I do, best believe I'll come back to haunt your ass," you muttered.

"Relax," Seungmin's tone was slightly offended, "Have faith in me. I can make at least instant ramen."

"If you insist," you sighed.

Seungmin passed the bowl of steaming hot ramen towards you, vapor still rising from it. You blew on it and took a bite, the heat instantly making you feel better. Seungmin sat beside you and began eating as well. You both lunched in silence, only the sounds of your spoons hitting your bowls and the occasional slurp filling the room.

You let out a yawn and Seungmin was quick to tell you that the instructions on the instructions stated that you had to wait an hour before sleeping if you had eaten anything after administering it.

To kill time, you suggested watching something on television. Seungmin joined you on the couch. You wrapped a warm blanket around you while Seungmin shifted through your Netflix catalogue, evidently pleased with your taste in media.

You started speaking, "You know, I was thinking of watching -"

At the same time Seungmin began, "I was actually planning on starting -"

"Three Body Problem," you both finished at the same time.

Reflections, reflections.

Seungmin played the first episode and you both watched in transfixed awe and silence. Seungmin kept checking on you in between though. It was never something major, but small things, like handing you the only pillow on the couch and passing a bottle of water at regular intervals.

"Wow," you said breathlessly as if you yourself were in that setting, "Any theories?"

Seungmin gritted his teeth, "Multiple, actually, but I have read the books and that would be fair, would it kitty cat?"

You pouted at him and he laughed his devious laugh.

"You can go, if you need to," you told Seungmin, "I'll get some rest. Riya will probably be home soon for a few hours."

"No, I'll stay out of the goodness of my heart," Seungmin smirked.

You snorted, "Out of the goodness of your heart, or out of the goodness of wanting to steal something?"

"Maybe I'll take your bunny slippers. They're the only thing worth committing a crime in this dorm for," Seungmin mocked, the slippers you were currently wearing coming I'm intentionally violent contact with his leg.

"Seriously though, thank you for helping me. I wouldn't have expected it from someone who hates me," you said, not thinking much of it.

"I don't hate you," said Seungmin, and your worlds collided to come to a standstill.

Every perception you had for yourself was destroyed with the utterance of four words. I don't hate you. The walls you had built of rivalry and animosity, of surpassing him and opposing him came crashing down and burying you in rubble underneath.

If all you had worked towards was to dismantle the justification of Seungmin's fabricated hatred, and yet he never hated you in the first place, then what was the point? Does that mean that you were never truly doing any of this for yourself, and only because of him?

If he didn't exist, what would you be?

You realized that you were probably reading too much into it and let out a hollow, "I thought you did."

Seungmin shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. I just considered you a worthy opponent that would help me improve myself. If anything, I respect you. In fact, these last few days have led me to see you as a friend."

You realized that it was time you apologized as well. "I'm really sorry too. I shouldn't have treated you so crossly."

Understanding and amusement flooded Seungmin's features. "No, please don't change. Bickering with you is one of the highlights of my day."

A smile tugged at your lips. "Okay, puppy boy. I'll go get some rest. What will you be doing?"

Seungmin winked at you. "Looking for things useful to steal, of course."

You lightly shoved his shoulder and he shook his head, shaking with laughter. Seungmin's hair bounced up and down as he laughed, pitifully, at his own joke.

You went to bed with a reducing migraine, a lighter heart and a new perception of you relationship with Kim Seungmin.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

As soon as your head hit the pillow, you were completely knocked out. When you woke, you felt weirdly feverish. You sighed bitterly, knowing that it would take you time to recover.

You walked out to the living room the check up on Seungmin. The sight which you found before you made you mentally melt into a puddle.

In front of you was a sleeping Kim Seungmin, legs brought to his chest and cheeks puffed out. His chest heaved rhythmically and small puffs of breath escaped his mouth. His hair covered his eyes and he was in the most compact position you had seen. You suppressed a snort.

You knew the kindest thing you could for him was to let him sleep. You knew the kindest thing you could do for yourself was to take pictures for blackmail material. Slipping your phone out of your back pocket, you quickly snapped a picture.

Foolishly, you forgot to turn off the flash and Seungmin stirred in his sleep. He got up with a start and blinked slowly. His eyes found yours and he blinked once more.

Then, with a slow smile, he said, "Hi."

If you thought you were a puddle before, you were now a stream rushing towards the ocean. "Hello."

Seungmin sprang up, "Feeling better?"

"Hm," you responded.

You watched as Seungmin made his way to the kitchen, shuffling with the cups you had inside your mildly messy cupboards. "I'll make coffee. Two sugars right?" he asked matter of factly.

"Yep," you replied in slight surprise, "It's crazy how you still remember. It's been... what, six weeks since your last student council coffee run?"

Seungmin's back was to you, mixing away the milk and coffee granules. "I remember everything about you."

You heart shouldn't have stuttered the way it did, and for once, you didn't try to stop it.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - three months.

"Han Jisung," you yelled into your phone, "I will kill you!"

Static emerged from the other side, but you could still make out Jisung's muffled giggle. "Y/N, bestie, bad bitch, my ride or die, just get cookies."

You hung up the phone call in irritation as Seungmin leaned against the window of the bus stop, observing you with a smile. You shot him a grimace which was poorly disguised as a smile, and he burst out into a fit of laughter.

"Cookies it is I guess," he snickered at your misfortune.

"We're splitting the bill," you announced haughtily, and you both walked side by side to the local grocery store.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The cold air of the grocery store nipped at you, making its under your shirt and through your jeans. You rage towards a particular Han Jisung, however, propelled you towards the baked goods and sweets section. Seungmin tailed behind you, his hand holding on to your jacket sleeve.

The conquest in question was to get one of the people in your grade, Jisung, to help provide entertainment for the school prom. Him and two other seniors who had already passed out, Chan and Changbin, were part of a trio named 3racha. The entire school knew of their laurels; they had been signed to a famous company before even graduating high school.

Jisung told you to meet at their studio after school to discuss prom, assuring you that they would provide music and maybe even dj on the side. Right before you and Seungmin were going to leave however, he had the absolute audacity to tell you that his hyungs needed a lot of convincing.

You scanned all the decorative tin boxes, trying to pick out something cheap that would also suffice for the treacherous endeavor you were about to undertake. Sometime during this process, the familiar tug of Seungmin's hand on your sleeve vanished.

You surveyed the room to find where he was, like a mother looking for her son. When you finally spotted his familiar tuft of hair and tall frame, you let out a slightly fond and extremely exasperated sigh.

While you were actually working, Seungmin was busy waving two cones of ice cream towards you. You grabbed the box of cookies you were eyeing and walked towards him.

"Really, Seungmin?" you dryly questioned.

"I have an unnatural craving for butterscotch. If you don't let me have it, I'll go Edward Cullen on you," he retorted.

You seriously regretted persuading Seungmin into watching Twilight with you. Ever since the little sick spell you had which prompted Seungmin to spend time at your dorm, you both began a mini tradition of watching a movie together once every week.

You would play the movie on your respective laptops and call each other, listening on mute bar the occasional theoretical conversations and joint rants about the main character's absolute stupidity.

It all started when he began pestering you about table colors for the prom banquet ("but I don't see the difference between ivory and off-white!"), but you interrupted by saying that it movie night and that you were rewatching Interstellar. Both your movie preferences and haywire sleep schedules being very similar led to Seungmin asking you if he could watch as well.

The rest, as they say, was history.

You finally relented and you and Seungmin stepped out of the store with a split bill, a box of cookies under your arm and ice creams currently being devoured. You opted for Belgian Chocolate while Seungmin wolfed down butterscotch. You finished your ice creams and tossed your wrappers in the bin outside.

You noticed a spot of ice cream near Seungmin's lip. Without thinking anything of it, you pulled your sleeve and swiped at it, cleaning it in one go. Seungmin glanced at you with a mixture of awe, shock, and something you assumed was adoration.

"It's just ice cream," you mumbled, but the atmosphere of comfort and domesticity hit you just as much as it healed him.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The two of you got on the bus and found two empty seats beside each other. After you vehemently listed the cons of sitting in an aisle seat, Seungmin finally conceded into letting you sit near the window. He didn't do so without insulting your height (again), claiming that since he was tall he would need to stretch his legs, but you wouldn't be having such issues at all.

The bus ride to the 3racha studio would take a good forty five minutes. Not because it was far, per se, but because traffic was a little shit.

You both were on your phones, and you scrolled aimlessly through social media. You let out a groan of annoyance.

"What is it?" asked Seungmin.

"Just Riya and Hyunjin being disgustingly adorable. Go ahead, take pleasure in my despair," you offered, full of snark.

"I mean, if you insist," Seungmin grinned.

Ever since Riya and Hyunjin's dramatic love confession and Victorian romance-esque scenario, you had been third wheeling to the point where you were third wheeling without even being near them. Hyunjin and Riya being in a relationship did make you crave one of your own, but you were kind of to not let an innocent victim (see also: Yang Jeongin) fall captive to the perils of being a third wheel.

You were drifting in and out of reality, immersed in a science fiction eBook loaded onto you phone. Or at least, you were, until animated video game noises came from Seungmin's phone. You peered over his shoulder to see what he was doing, and burst into a fit of stifled laughter.

"How can you be so bad at Fruit Ninja of all games," you giggled.

Seungmin glared at you, "As if you're any better."

"I am, in fact," you snorted, your tone full of invitation and open to challenge.

It took just those four words and the smug expression on your face for Seungmin to quickly switch to multiplayer mode. The two of you vigorously tapped at your screens, slicing watermelons and mangos. Seungmin swiping was so arbitrary that he couldn't even cut through a fruit half the time.

You shoulder was pressed against Seungmin's and your chin hovered over it. You thought you both were being soft enough so as to not disturb anyone, but an old woman sitting in front of you coughed in what you assumed was contempt.

Blood rushed to your cheeks in embarrassment as you and Seungmin both bowed apologetically. You were expecting a lengthy sermon on public discipline, but the old woman broke into a smile instead.

"Always cherish your childhood friendships and childhood loves," she winked at the two of you, "Especially when it seems to be a love as free as the one you both share."

You and Seungmin exchanged confused looks.

"We're not-"

"About that-"

You were tripping over your words, stumbling and falling until Seungmin finally mustered, "We're not dating, or in love or anything."

The woman just laughed in response. She got up from her chair and left with an "If you say so!", leaving both you and Seungmin stunned in her wake.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You and Seungmin sat cramped in the 3racha studio couch. You couldn't quite call this room a studio. It was more of a musically inclined man cave.

Jisung, Changbin and Chan sat across from you, their legs ridiculously crossed over the other at the exact same angles. Jisung nibbled on the cookies that you brought. He smiled at another one of your death glares.

Chan clapped his hands together, "You know what? We would love to play at your prom. Changbin and I are alumni and Jisung is bitchless anyways."

Jisung swatted at Chan's arm with his cookie while Changbin swooped in to claim a cookie of his own. Amidst the chaos, you and Seungmin let out a sigh of relief.

"You can send us the transaction details at our email," said Changbin, scribbling it on a notepad. His booming voice made you jump in surprise.

"Cool, we'll do that soon. Before we go, can I use the restroom?" Seungmin inquired.

Chan rattled off the directions to the restroom and Seungmin left with a pat on your head and a "Don't miss me too much, darling."

"We'll get back to work now, Y/N," Chan said kindly.

You shot him a smile which remained on your face until Changbin snickered, "Yeah, Jisung can keep you company."

The two of them went inside their studio booth, erupting with giggles that turned into fake coughs which once again morphed into real coughs. You shot Jisung a quizzical look. "Oh, that's because I used to like you," Jisung said through a mouthful of cookie.

You weren't taken aback, unfazed by his sudden admission. Jisung has had a crush on almost the entire student body, regardless of gender. You would be kidding if you said that you didn't have a soft spot for Jisung though. He was your seatmate in chemistry class (a horrible one at that), but also the reason why you ran for student council president in the first place.

"You would be good at it," he encouraged you, even though you knew his ulterior motives.

You were presently reaching for a cookie when Jisung stated casually, "I didn't know you were dating Seungmin."

You choked on your cookie. "What? We aren't. Why would you think that?"

There was no way in hell you and Seungmin could ever be mixed up for a couple. Yes, your feelings of hatred towards him had considerably dampened, but that didn't mean that you liked liked him. Everything you felt towards him was strictly professional and only had to do with prom planning, as you would regularly reassure yourself.

Jisung shrugged. "The nicknames, the looks you were giving each other. I mean, you both are alike. It wouldn't be that out of the blue of you were."

You responded with a huff of indignation, assuming that this was Jisung's way of asking you if you were single.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"We are not watching Twilight," you told Seungmin sternly. He pouted at you but you wouldn't budge, not even an inch.

Seungmin and you were back on the bus, the sky painted in beautiful shades of blue. The bus was quiet, you and Seungmin being the only passengers on there. Deciding to kill time because evening traffic would cause the bus to take even longer, Seungmin suggested watching something on his tablet.

"Let's watch the Vampire Diaries instead!" Seungmin said in excitement.

You stared at him, mouth agape. "What is it with you and vampires?"

"It's either that or Mean Girls," Seungmin offered.

You instantly knew what you would watch. Suffering through Seungmin watching Mean Girls and adopting Regina George's personality would be pure agony. There were many things you could tolerate in life, but Seungmin taking up the persona of his favorite characters after watching something knew was not one of them. Knowing Seungmin, you didn't have a shred of doubt that his favorite would be Regina.

"Vampire Diaries it is," you agreed, "But Damone is mine."

Seungmin offered no objection and handed you one side of his wired earphones. You had to sit in extremely close proximity to Seungmin, close enough that you could feel his breath on your cheek. Your head subconsciously dropped on his shoulder, his cheek pressed against your hair.

Seungmin smelled like cinnamon and rain. You wondered what perfume he used, but then realized that it would be pointless since any and all perfume would have worn out by then. After that you began to ponder about what Disney movie he had stepped out of to smell so good and look so good despite spending hours either outside or in a cramped studio.

Finally, your train of thought took a sharp, final turn.

You were comfortable, pressed up against Seungmin and making sarcastic comments every so often. It felt normal, natural even. It struck you that your head fit under Seungmin's chin like a missing puzzle piece.

The pieces of your brain and the pieces of his heart joined together to form a beautiful mosaic of shared chaos and resilience that was unique only to the odd relationship you both shared.

Maybe it wasn't so absurd that two people had assumed that you both were in a relationship. Maybe you didn't want it to be so absurd. Maybe you wanted it to be something that wouldn't cause you and Seungmin to dismiss with hurried explanations and laughs full of ridicule.

That was enough thinking for today.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

[10:17 PM]

puppy boy: i have come here to tell you that i am willing to risk our friendship

[10:18 PM]

You: /what/ friendship?

[10:18 PM]

puppy boy: fine, i'm willing to risk out not friendship for claiming damone salvatore

puppy boy: talk to hand if you have any arguments

puppy boy: ✋🏻

[10:19 PM]

You: lmao not you acting like damone would choose *you* over *me*

[10:19 PM]

puppy boy: ...

puppy boy: ok well i can't rly argue with that

puppy boy: if i was damone, i would choose you in a heartbeat

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - two months and twenty six days.

The most fascinating thing that you had studied about in your astronomy class were binary stars. They were the most common multi star system, found regularly in pockets of the universe. They were immensely important, aiding in the calculation of things like mass of celestial bodies.

But one could not exist without the other.

A binary star was useless without it's counterpart, just another ball of glowing gas drifting about in the universe. You reckoned that humans also had their version of binary stars, people whose lives were so intertwined with each other that having one without the other stripped both entities of their meaning.

In astronomy, they were called binary stars. On earth, they were called soulmates.

That was what you and Seungmin were, stars that shone brightly in your shared skies but instead of dimming the other, only amplified it. You both were natural satellites, celestial bodies gravitating into each other's pull like a two magnets.

Seungmin drew you in like nobody else did, and you were tired of repelling it. If the earth had reversed it's poles so many times in the past, then in the grand scheme of things, you reversing your perception of Seungmin should have been nothing that would warrant a big deal.

But to you, this was your entire perception of a black and white reality being ripped away and slowly rebuilt in color.

Considering that the person behind all of it was Seungmin, these colors were more often than not so vivid and vibrant that it left you craving more of what life could be like if he would be there mending every crack in your universe.

It left you craving more of what life could be like if the term my universe in your dictionary changed to our universe.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You and Seungmin were sitting together in the library. Well, less sitting together and more having a habit of happening to be there at the same time (which was almost all the time). This caused you both to strike up a habit of unknowingly taking a seat beside the other person.

Seungmin was leafing through a book while you silently observed him. "What is it?" he piped up, his eyes never leaving his book, "What do you want to ask me?"

You placed a finger between the pages of the book you were reading and shrugged. "Nothing much, really. How did you know I was wondering about something anyways?"

He looked up, his eyes meeting yours. "I just know. Now, what is it?"

His impatient gaze and curious eyes tempted you into telling him what was making rounds in your head. You found yourself thinking for the umpteenth time how his hair fell into his face so perfectly, making him a vision that seemed like a painting encased in a Parisian museum.

"Your eyes," you whispered, your tone so imperceptible that a another human being would have barely heard you.

Seungmin always heard your voice, though.

"What about them?" he chuckled.

You titled your head to the side, wondering if you yourself were imagining all of this. "Did you know your eyes change color when you look at me?"

It was true, at least to you. You noticed that whenever Seungmin's gaze caught onto yours, his eyes darkened. Not in the terrifying way often associated with bloodlust, but in the puzzled way that made you feel like he was trying to figure you out, just as you were trying to figure yourself out.

"It's just a telling sign for my animosity towards you," taunted Seungmin, attempting to ignite a fiery response out of you.

It somewhat mildly worked.

"Oh yeah," you gasped, "Ello will be troubled to know that her parents are fighting.

"Hm," contemplated Seungmin, "Who's gonna be the one to tell her that she's a child of divorce?"

Seungmin's comment caught you off guard. Child of divorce? It was so out of pocket that even the tantalizing curve of your lips that had been making you feel unnatural things as of late couldn't distract you.

"We aren't even married, Seungmin," you pointed out.

In response, Seungmin put his book down on the table in front of him. He placed his elbow on the aforementioned table and smoothly removed one of the two rings that he was always wearing: the smaller moon ring to his larger sun ring, you noticed.

He motioned for your hand and in one gesture, slid the moon ring onto your ring finger. "There," he declared proudly, "Now we're married."

He seemed so casual, so unfazed about it, that it enraged you.

Did he not just feel like an entire carton box of fireworks had gone off in an empty parking lot that was his stomach? Did he not get his breath taken away from a gesture that was so simple that a passerby wouldn't even have batted an eye at it? Did he not feel perplexed, terrified and astonished that such a feeling was even possible?

Because you did.

You felt like your world was tilting on it's axis and you couldn't keep letting the lava simmer under the surface anymore.

It felt like the entire universe was in your grasp, like electricity crackled at your fingertips. You felt euphoric, your brain buzzing and mind spinning.

You felt like someone shattered the vase of feelings that contained all you had ever experienced and glued it back together with gold in its cracks. You felt like someone placed rose-tinted sunglasses on your eyes and that you never wanted to go back to normal vision after gaining a taste of what this felt like.

You knew that what you felt was, according to the countless books and movies you had watched, a horrible illness that constituted a crush. But you didn't know that it felt so good? Even more frighteningly so, you didn't know when you stopped seeing Seungmin as a rival and as a friend.

You frighteningly didn't know when you started seeing Seungmin as someone you were capable of loving until you did and it scared you to death concretely only knowing that your brain provided not a single fucking objection to this flurry of feelings.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - two months.

In the time that you had come to the realization that you had feelings for Seungmin, and all the moments post that day, you were in a tumultuous state of mind.

You hadn't told anyone about your feelings, because you weren't sure if they were genuine or if they were a product of you romanticizing the entire atmosphere surrounding you.

You would be so cruel to Seungmin before a few months ago, so neglectful of his feelings that you thought it was foolish to think that he would ever like. It baffled you that he even saw you as a friend; hoping that he would see you as a lover would be akin to grasping for non-existent straws.

You should have told Hyunjin, who viewed love so beautifully that you envied him for it. You should have talked to Jeongin, who didn't see love as poetically as Hyunjin, but had so much of it to spare and never seemed to run out. But you didn't.

Instead, you chose to exist in torturous turmoil, over thinking each and every shared moment you had with Seungmin. If this was what experiencing supposedly unrequited like was going to be for the rest of your life, you sincerely hoped you never went through the pain of it again.

If this was what experiencing supposedly unrequited like was going to be for the rest of your life, you sincerely hoped it didn't become unrequited love.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"And we'll have to meet Felix for his cousin, you know, Lee Minho, who said he'll be open to catering for prom," you finished with an air of finality.

Seungmin bobbed his head in agreement and walked with you towards you locker. He stepped normally, slowing down to keep pace with you. You felt like your legs were lead.

Being near Seungmin made you simultaneously want to combust and make you want to fly.

You reached for you locker and twisted the knob according to your combination, as you did almost everyday. This was like second nature to you, so when you opened you locker, put your books inside and turned around with the intention of facing Seungmin, you certainly weren't expecting what you were met with instead.

Renjun, one of the students of your grade, stood facing you with a bouquet. You had spoken with Renjun a few times at most, striking up conversation very rarely. You had no idea what warranted him looking at you earnestly, hoping that he was waiting for someone else.

Of course you were wrong.

"Hey Y/N, um... I have liked you for a very long time and I wanted to ask if you would go to prom with me," Renjun stuttered.

To say you were in shock was an understatement. Dating was the furthest thing from your mind, regardless of whether or not you had feelings for anyone, Seungmin included. While you did feel a surge of ego at being asked out for prom, you weren't in any way, shape, or form, expecting it.

This also meant that you weren't prepared for what you were going to do if you wanted to accept a promposal, which in turn meant you had even less of an idea of what to do if your intention was to reject a promposal.

You instantly felt pity on him and remorseful for what you were about to do.

"Oh Renjun, I'm really sorry but I barely know you. On top of that, I'll be really busy with student council and just be the reason your night to be ruined," you told him softly.

Renjun looked at you crestfallen. "Oh yeah, no, you're right. I'm sorry for bothering you. Can we grab coffee sometime though?"

Before you could respond, Seungmin interjected. "Yes, yes, that's all nice but we have to go. People to see, places to be. Just text her when and where."

With that, Seungmin dragged you away. You wanted to protest but were internally cartwheeling instead.

It was probably your imagination, probably caffeinated emotions, but you thought you saw a flash of jealousy in Seungmin's charming eyes.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"What was that about?" you snorted.

"That was me having to be inconvenienced because my partner doesn't know how to respond when a guy asks her out," Seungmin snapped.

Not friend. No colleague or co-president. Not even your name. But partner.

You weren't sure how to feel about that.

"Why do you hate prom so much Seungmin?" you sighed, changing the topic.

Seungmin shrugged in response but you pressed on. "It's okay puppy. No matter how embarrassing, I won't judge."

You crossed your fingers over your heart, but Seungmin just looked at you with melancholy in his eyes. Your teasing smile fell.

"It's a long story," Seungmin said. His hands were in his pocket and he was kicking at a rock on the pavement.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me," you told him, your voice full of guilt for asking.

"No, I will," he responded, "You deserve that much."

Seungmin finally began, "You know how I have an older sister, right? She's in college right now, but back when she was in high school, she was really smart. Smarter then me smart. I know right. Crazy? Anyways, she was very much type casted as a nerd and even though she was well liked, nobody wanted to date her. That was, until, prom came around. A guy asked her out and she was over the moon."

You felt a sinking feeling in your stomach, knowing where this was about to go.

"She wasn't even romantically interested in him, but was so excited that someone had for once, shown some interest towards her that she instantly said yes. I still remember how she wouldn't stop talking about it. She got ready, buying her own dress and everything, using money from her part time job that she was saving for university. She looked ethereal that night. I still remember all of it, even if it was five years ago. But she was stood up. Turns out the entire was a dare, a sick joke. Her final straw was when she saw the guy who asked her out walk into the prom venue with another girl on his arm."

Your heart broke for Seungmin's sister. You couldn't even imagine how it must have felt. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse, however, Seungmin opened his mouth once again.

He continues bitterly, "She was so heartbroken that she went to one of those afterparties, that's basically a rave. She drank so much alcohol that it got to the point where she was passed out on someone's hospital. We had to rush her to the hospital and get all of it pumped out. It felt so painful, being thirteen and watching my sister just suffer in pure agony."

Seungmin's voice broke, "She almost died last night, physically. But mentally, she was wrecked. It was on her hospital records, this incident. None of the Ivies, or any university even remotely good accepted her. She finally got into Stanford, but that was after writing several scholarship tests and paying a hefty fee. She's never really been the same since."

When Seungmin's sermon came to an end, you felt his hurt ten times over. Tears glistened in his eyes and without warning, you pulled him in for a hug. You felt Seungmin let out a shaky breath and held him close.

"Your hair smells like strawberries. It's highly concerning. Fruit based shampoos are dumb," he mumbled into your hair.

"Shut up and stop ruining the moment or else I'll let go," you warned.

In response, Seungmin just held you tighter. When he let go, he swiped at his eyes and gave you a grateful smile. "Sorry. And thank you," he told you with a tight smile.

You just nodded in response. "Hey, I understand why you hate prom. I can take over for you on the actual night," you offered with a squeeze of his hand."

Seungmin shook his head in response, "No, I'll be there. It wouldn't be fair to all of you if I wasn't. But you should go with Renjun. Being tethered to someone who has an outlook like me would just make the night boring as hell for you."

The possibility of going to prom with Renjun when Seungmin was right there was something you found utterly ridiculous. It made no sense, no sense at all to go with someone you had no feelings for. Going to prom with Renjun would hurt both him and you.

Seungmin's glazed expression sent an arrow straight into your heart, piercing and deafening. You refused to let him drown in sorrow. "Absolutely not, Kim Seungmin. If I said you're coming to prom with me, you're coming to prom with me."

You didn't allow any room for further argument, shutting Seungmin up with a defiant stare. You wanted Seungmin to enjoy prom, you truly did. But you knew that this wasn't the complete truth. You had a much more selfish, concealed motive.

You were going to make Kim Seungmin fall in love with prom, while falling in love with you as well.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - one month and three days.

[9:06 PM]

You: oi seungmin

You: we still meeting up at the library to wrap up all the finally details?

[9:07 PM]

seungmine (hopefully someday): Yep.

You could somehow tell that something was bothering Seungmin, just by reading that last text. You caught your lip between your teeth as you got ready to go to the library, his dry tone throwing you off. Seungmin was pretty much a dry texter, but always followed it up with something absurd. Today however, he didn't. Hell, he even used proper punctuation.

The entirety of the mini 'meeting' that you had consisted of only you talking and Seungmin responding with one or two words. If you were lucky, he would look your way, but your luck mostly fell short.

You snapped your binder shut and asked, "Everything good?"

Seungmin just blinked in response, the boredom and sense of being done evident in his eyes. He didn't reply and instead proceeded to swing his bag around his shoulder and stand up.

You tried once again. "I was going to go shopping for prom dresses. Do you want to match colors? Let me know what you plan on wearing."

Seungmin spared you a half glance. "Yeah sure, wear whatever. I don't really care."

You felt tears prick in his eyes. How could he just not care? You were willing to give up fun and sacrifice romance so that Seungmin could have someone to spend time with. You were doing all this and for what? Being told that he didn't care?

You felt so heavy that you spit out, "You know what? Fine. I wanted to go to prom with you so that you would have someone to be with. I knew, I knew that we would have to be stuck together all night, socializing and making sure nobody burns the school down or spikes the punch bowl. But that doesn't mean that I don't want prom to feel authentic, to go as a normal teenager."

You continued, "I'm not even asking you for the grand promposal that I have been dreaming about since I was nine. I'm just asking you to do the bare minimum, if not as my prom date, which you agreed to might I add, but at least as the person who I share the title of co-president with. You cannot keep disregarding my feelings Seungmin. I'm sick and tired of it. I understand that you hate prom but it's you who keeps insisting on coming, it's you who keeps saying that it won't be fair if you aren't there which is ironic, because you most definitely aren't being fair right now."

Seungmin stared at you, jaw slightly hung open, but the fire inside you kept raging.

"I know you don't see me as a date and that's fine but at least show me some modicum of respect. You didn't even let me complete my question; it wasn't me asking about matching prom attire. It was Principal Kim who suggested asking you about it. And you know that a suggestion from her is nothing short of law."

The tears in your eyes were threatening to spill out now as you mentally cursed yourself for ever even thinking that you could have feelings for someone like him.

"So, Kim Seungmin, if you don't want to go prom, or if you want to be a whiny little bitch about it, it's fine with me. Text me if you're going. If you won't, I'll just assume you aren't. You can do whatever the fuck you want because I'm sick for pitying you when you clearly aren't deserving of it. Go ahead and fucking ruin prom for yourself, but don't you dare tarnish the experience for me."

Before Seungmin could even anything, you grabbed your backpack and walked away, blinking back tears as you thought about how cold and lonely prom would be without anybody by your side to spend the night with. Hyunjin had Riya. Jeongin had a roster of senior girls willing to go out with him.

But you? At the end of the day, every single day, you were all alone. You let your intrusive thoughts in, swirling in your head and nearly paralyzing your capacity to think.

What if the reason why you were alone was all your fault? What if you were too pushy, too rude for your own good? None of that mattered, though, because thinking about the situation never changed the situation.

You would be alone, no matter how hard you tried otherwise, and that was the bitter truth you had to learn to live with.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

[5:28 PM]

Kim Seungmin: i am so sorry y/n

Kim Seungmin: please answer my calls

[6:36 PM]

You: I have sent the details regarding the electronic equipment.

You: Make sure to contact them.

[6:36 PM]

Kim Seungmin: please let me make it up to you.

Kim Seungmin: please.

[7:05 PM]

You: Let me know once you contact them.

You: Don't bother texting me otherwise.

You: My phone will be on dnd since I'm going out.

You: Call me only if it's urgent. I think you should be more than capable of handling the situation now, but just in case. Don't expect me to respond to you about anything else.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You were avoiding Seungmin as if he carried a deadly virus. You dodged him in hallways and expertly deflected any and all of his attempts to talk to you. The one place you couldn't avoid where you knew he would be, however, was the library.

You needed to return one of your library books. Today was the last day and not doing so would led to you paying a fine. You couldn't afford a payable fees right now, since most of the savings from your part time job and the money your parents would regularly send you would be going towards buying your prom gown.

Okay, fine. Maybe you wanted to give Seungmin a chance to properly apologize. But that's absurd and not important right now.

Your headphones were jammed in your ears, music pounding through them while you walked in its direction. People thought that you had an affinity for listening to classical music since you came under the categorization of an 'over-achieving nerd.'

You knew that society also known as your school, would break out into scandal if they ever found out that Kendrick Lamar was your top artist on Spotify.

That thought brought you back to Seungmin, as you giggled at the memory of his confusion while you were explaining the entire Drake and Kendrick beef to him. His nose was scrunched up and his eyes were squinted, listening to you as if you were preaching about the secrets of life and the universe, not ranting about rap music.

Oh wait. You were supposed to hate Seungmin. Not giggle at the memories of the time you spent together like a middle aged woman recounting her college days.

When you got to the library, you placed your bag on Mrs. Kang's table and took out the book you were supposed to return.

You handed it to her with a strained smile. "Hey, I am on time though, aren't I Mrs. Kang? Plus, this is just a first time offence. I'm sure you can let it slide."

Mrs. Kang raised her eyebrow. "Fine, just this once," she slid the book underneath the scanner and mentioned, "Oh, you should go check out the Romantic Literature section; we finally got sent The Vicar of Wakefield."

You looked at her, puzzled. You were never really interested in works that emerged during the age of early eighteenth century Romanticism. She must have mixed you up with somebody else, but you began to walk towards the shelves anyways. If anything would help lighten your spirits, it would be re-reading Pride and Prejudice.

When you got there however, the most unexpected sight awaited you.

Your eyes drank in the sight of Seungmin, standing wearing a varsity jacket, white t-shirt and jeans. Dried rose petals littered the length of the aisle. Seungmin was holding up an open book with it's pages folded to form the word 'Prom?'

As much as you hated to admit it, the sight took your breath away.

Seungmin cocked his head to the side. "I had to bribe her with my limited edition copy of Frankenstein."

"What- what is this?" you asked, your brain still numb from shock.

Seungmin bit his lip and looked at you. "This is me apologizing. You were right. I completely sidelined you when I shouldn't have. I truly respect and admire you and feel horrible that I made you feel like this. And I figured, that I should ask you to prom the way you deserve: with all the grandeur in the world."

His apology was one that you could have never imagined being the recipient of. Even fiction didn't predict something as thoughtful as this. Seungmin preparing an entire promposal for you, over just a hissy fit, was enough to thaw your temporarily frozen heart.

You looked at him open-mouthed. "But I thought you didn't even like me that way."

Despite how hard he tried to contain it, tones of mischief slipped through Seungmin's voice. "Would it be so bad if I did?"

What? This couldn't be real. This was most definitely not happening. You pinched yourself to make sure you weren't dreaming, because never in your wildest dreams would such a scene have ever taken place.

Seungmin must have somehow read your mind because he quickly stuttered, "Not that I do. I mean I like you. But not in that way. Like, I asked you since we have to spend the entire night together anyways. I'm sorry for making this weird."

You let out an exhale, chiding yourself for being so gullible. It was just Seungmin being Seungmin. You spared a glance at his eyes, full of anticipation. You wanted to say no. If you didn't, you knew you would be in too deep.

You took a step forward to refuse his request when your eyes fell on his hand. The sight awaiting you knocked the wind out of your body.

You already noticed Seungmin's baggy eyes, attributing it to lack of sleep because he was busy doing whatever guys do. But his hands told the other half of the story.

They were adorned with paper cuts. Small scars like moons were imprinted on him in various stages of healing. One even had a bit of blood on it.

"Uh, yeah," said Seungmin, noticing your eyes drift down, "I spent all night making it. Let's just say that I'm really bad with paper and folding in any context and leave it at that."

"Seungmin," you whispered, your eyes tearing up. He offered you a tight smile.

"I should go. This was weird. I'm sorry."

"Wait!" you said in a tone that startled him, "I'll go. I'll go to prom with you. Officially."

Seungmin's eyes reflected a question of whether you were doing this genuinely. You hoped that your eyes reflected that you were. Seungmin may not ever come to like you romantically, in any sense. But you were happy with what you were being offered.

You were happy that Seungmin was the first person you thought yourself to have the potential to love.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - shit, it's prom!

You couldn't sleep all night.

The frenzied prolepsis that clouded your mind refused to escape. 'What if's?' and 'Should have's?' regarding the event clouded your head. You thought that you would feel more nervous about your experience at prom, but it was all the planning that got to your head.

If you were a wreck, however, then Seungmin was a fucking natural disaster.

He texted you without pause, your phone blowing up so much that even Riya had to ask you if everything was okay. His chats varied, from long rants about how Die Hard is not a Christmas movie, despite Felix's apparent protests, and immense worry about how prom would turn out.

You didn't blame him. You were just as anxious as him, even if you weren't as vocal about it. This mammoth event was like yours's and Seungmin's baby. You were so concentrated on making sure that everything went according to plan, that the idea of you going to prom with Seungmin was pushed to the dark and dusty corner of your brain.

"You have been texting Seungmin a lot lately," teased Riya as she curled her hair.

"Shut up," you told her smoothly, already armed with blackmail material, "Or else I will smack you and tell Hyunjin about your Shah Rukh Khan shrine."

She effortlessly shut up.

You ran from one room to the other, your dorm house common room and back, pacing and placing calls and confirming and reminding people of what had to be done. You were in such a rush that you hadn't even started to get ready.

In your panicked chaos, you slammed into an already ready Felix. His white suit was immaculate, small roses embroidered on the sides. His blond hair was tousled and his easy smile gave you a bit of reassurance amidst the hectic situations you were constantly throwing yourself in.

"Felix! What are you doing here? You look amazing, by the way." You pulled him in for a quick hug, distracted by a call you had to make.

"I'm here to pick up my date, Jeongin," Felix smirked.

You let out a cough. "What?"

Felix laughed. "I didn't have a date and thought that he deserves to come since he has helped so much. So, I offered him my plus one ticket."

Ah, that made sense. You wondered why Jeongin didn't go with one of the senior girls on his roster of ladies in waiting. Then you remembered that he thought of himself as some sort of a chivalrous gentleman.

"Why haven't you gotten ready yet?" Felix questioned.

"Oh, I was just-," you began, before Felix sternly interrupted you.

"Don't you dare say you were wrapping things up. You and I both know that your definition of wrapping things up is frantically quadruple checking everything," Felix scolded, "You will stop worrying and get ready."

You just sighed in response, "I wish I could but-"

"No buts," he said, his eyes softening. "This night is yours as much as everybody else's. If anything, it's mostly yours."

Before you could sweetly respond to Felix with a resounding refusal, Jisung, per usual, appeared out of thin hair. His suit coat looked a little small and you vaguely remembered yearbook pictures of Chan during his prom, wearing almost the exact same suit coat, minus the little hand stitched lightening bolt on the side pocket.

"This," Jisung motioned towards you with a flourish of his right hand, "Is unacceptable."

Felix promptly agreed. You flashed him a withering glare and he slightly wavered, but it was of no use. You had lost the battle before it had even begun.

Twenty minutes later, you, Jisung and Felix were in your dorm room. No matter your protests, they insisted on helping you get ready for prom night. The two of them did your hair and makeup while you pondered on how you couldn't do it yourself half as good as they did.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

When they were done, you gasped in surprise. They made you look a beautiful you thought you weren't capable of outwardly being.

Your dress in itself was majestic, at least in your eyes. It didn't exactly fit the theme, but the moment you saw it, you knew you needed to have it. It marveled you to no end about how someone could leave something that looked so incredible in a small thrift store next to the coffee shop you frequented.

The dress was silver, shimmering in a shade of what you only knew to be 'almost white' when light struck it. The bodice was in the shape of fairy wings, the sides laced crisscrossed and showing the smallest bit of skin. The back was covered, and the dress flowed down to reach your feet like a cascading waterfall. It was sleeveless, and so you wore long, winding silver bracelets on each hand.

Your make was done almost professionally by Felix. He used a colour pallet of silvery white, not exaggerating your make up. He brushed your hair calmly and tied two strands of it in a braid, pull them back to make a sort of halo. Felix clipped butterflies into your hair and made you feel like a mythical creature stepping out from a fantasy novel. Narnia, maybe.

Jisung on the other hand, provided food, gossip and entertainment. You would never reveal this to him, but you found that very vital to the process of getting ready as well.

"You are so good at this," you gushed at Felix.

He looked at you calmly. "I have two sisters, and I'm the middle kid. As a consequence, I was often my older sister's model for all things fashion and my younger sister's personal stylist."

Jisung munched on a piece of cake which you had no idea was even there in your kitchen. He sat on a barstool and clapped when you came out and gave him a spin. His feet rocked back and forth while he cheered you on.

"See," he said to Felix pointedly. "I am a better wingman than you."

Felix looked immeasurably hurt. "Not as good as me though. You didn't even help me!"

"I did, didn't I?" Jisung looked at you with those boba eyes that you found extremely hard to resist.

In response, you ushered them both out of the house in order to not get pulled into conflict and be the cause of an unsatisfactory prom night. Plus, you wanted to get there early and check on the venue.

Well, that and also to (mostly), see Seungmin.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You spotted him before he could see you.

Seungmin looked ethereal in his silver suit, his hair swept to the side and hands in his pockets as he engaged in easy conversation with one of the teachers.

He looked like a song you could listen to for the rest of your life until you were maddened by it but never turn it off. He looked like a painting that you could stare at as it dried, like a work of art you spend countless hours and dollars just to catch a glimpse.

And, he matched with you.

When you mentioned to him in passing that your prom dress was silver in colour, you hadn't actually expected him to wear something of a similar, much less the same colour. And yet he did, and you went down a spiral of feelings once again.

Seungmin's eyes must have found you because he sauntered over to you like a man with a purpose.

"You look beautiful," he whispered in awe, "But then again, you do everyday."

You blushed, hoping that the shitty lighting would hide it. "You look incredible yourself Seungmin," you said lightly, "And you somehow look good everyday, despite only running off of caffeine and spite.

Seungmin threw his head back an infectious laughter that had caused you to laugh as well. Someone called his name from the background in the middle of your laughter. Another louder, more insistent call of his name floated towards your general direction. Seungmin dipped his head in apology and walked away.

He had told you that you look beautiful. Not your dress, not your make up, not your hair. Not the meaningless, material attire that clung onto you like tinsel on a Christmas. But he said that you, you, look beautiful.

Seungmin wasn't looking you up and down when he said so, like men in the movies did. He didn't look like he was trying to memorize your body, memorize the dips and curves where he could place his hand and mold his being into yours.

No, he looked you in the eye when he said at, as if he didn't believe that it was the clothes that made you look beautiful. He looked you in the eye as if everything that made you, well, you was what made you so beautiful in his sight.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You stood in a moment of peace, finally standing still since reaching the venue.

The moment you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, however, a guttural screech and the sound of howling teenage boys flooded your ears. Sighing in irritation, you opened one eye to asses the situation. Deciding that it warranted you opening the other eye as well, you walked over to the culprits and sternly told them off.

You probably jinxed any peace that would possibly be coming your way by stealing away those five minutes for yourself.

Bad karma, bad decisions.

Seungmin was watching the entire altercation with a faint smirk. He walked over to you and tapped you on the shoulder. You didn't know it was him, and were about to tell him off as well until his familiar scent reached you.

You glared at the gaggle of seniors who has no right to be called seniors and turned to Seungmin.

"May I please have this dance?" he asked with a smirk.

You raised an eyebrow at him and placed your hand in his. "The theme is Aphrodite's Garden, not 18th century Regency era Bridgerton," you quipped.

Seungmin was subject to torture at your hands, also known as, watching Bridgerton with you. He would never admit it, but you knew he liked it. In fact, he may have even enjoyed it more than you. Either that, or you were hallucinating him being on his Simone Ashley Twitter fan account.

Your arms went around his neck as Seungmin guided you to the dancefloor. "I can't really dance," you murmured, the close contact between you both making your head go haywire.

"Neither do I," he winked.

Seungmin's eyes bored into yours and you licked your lips self-consciously. Considering you incredible luck, the song was slow and sensual. Considering your incredible luck, less than twenty seconds into the song playing, a loud crashing sound was heard in the background.

You prayed to God to help salvage prom, and no, that god was not Taylor Swift.

"I'll handle it," Seungmin reassured you.

"I'm a big girl," you bristled, "I can handle it as well."

"I know you are," Seungmin mused, "But I also know you well enough to know that those heels are absolutely killing you right now."

You pressed your lips in a thin line. No matter your feelings for Kim Seungmin, you still hated when he was right. You flashed him the tiniest smile in a way of saying 'thank you', since you were too proud to actually do it. He took it in stride and went away to handle whatever it was that needed handling at the moment.

He left you alone with your thoughts if such situations weren't confined so momentarily and were instead something you could enjoy for eternity.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You decided to step out of the venue for a bit, to finally clear you head. The atmosphere of prom buzzed with electricity and it wasn't the good, energetic kind; it was more of the kind that made your hair frizz.

You were standing, staring at the stars when you felt the air shift beside you. You knew who it was even without sparing a glance at them.

"The stars are beautiful tonight," you whispered to him.

"They are, but I have seen sights today that even rival them," Seungmin said. His voice was missing his trademark sass.

Your heart thumped incessantly as you asked, "Trying out cheesy pick up lines on me now, are we?"

Seungmin laughed, "Now would that be so bad?"

You both stood in silence. You bent down, opened your heels and set them to the side. You felt Seungmin looking at you, but you kept looking at the sky.

The sky, which was ever changing, yet reflected the same shades everyday. The sky, that served as a medium of rain and thunder, sunlight and rainbows. The sky, that was always there in you life, unwavering and never faltering.

Sky, which was coincidentally Seungmin's English name. It suited him.

"I really like the constellation of Orion," you told him with a sideways glance.

"I know. I remember."

"How? I mean, how do you remember all this?"

"I remember everything you tell me," Seungmin repeated, like he did all those months ago.

"Why?" you asked. You asked because you wanted to know, needed to know and repent your mistake of not asking earlier.

Seungmin turned to face you. His eyes held no glint of mischief, no edge accompanied by teasing. Instead, you felt locked in his gaze. It was the kind of intense stare that made you think that he was about to spill all his sins at your feet, right here, right now.

"I remember everything because it's you who says it. I used to remember because I wanted to beat you, be better than you. Then I started to remember as a habit, noticing the smallest quirks about you. Now I remember because I want to be there for you, to help you."

This wasn't happening. This wasn't real. But how much longer would you say that to yourself until you were imbibed with it?

"There is an ugly mix of feelings inside me regarding you, Y/N. They went initially from animosity, to something akin to friendship, to now, the desire for something with you that's more than just platonic."

He gulped. You swallowed. Silence.

"I am drawn to you, Y/N L/N. From the moment I have met you, it has felt like my life is irreversibly tangled with yours. I am propelled towards like it's pre-destined, and I always have. There are times where I feel like I cannot exist if you do not exist. And I'm tired of brushing these feelings aside, acting like they're non-existent."

"I like you, and not telling you has quite nearly driven me to the brink of insanity. It's alright, if you don't feel the same, but please don't walk away without an answer for me."

His gaze averted yours when he finally finished. You looked at him in awe, unable to express how you felt his brilliance radiate off him when he perfectly articulated all the feelings that restlessly capsized land in the empty spaces of your mind.

"For someone really smart, Kim," you breathed, "You are extremely stupid."

"You mean..." Seungmin's voice trailed off. Now it was his turn to look at you in awe.

"I have the feeling that you're trying not to kiss me, and I give you permission to just do it," you announced.

Seungmin gave you a wild smile before his lips swooped in to meet yours. They tasted like fruit punch and chocolate cake, like promises and forever.

You might have been imagining it, but for one cosmic moment, it felt like the stars were shining brighter than the usually did. Two binary stars had finally found each other, finally made their way into each other's orbits, never to stray again.

His lips left yours with a small gasp. "That was my first kiss," you mumbled sheepishly.

Seungmin fiddled with the flaps of his suit coat nervously. He started babbling, "Really? This was, I think, my third. Once at camp and once last year but that was just spin the bottle-"

You cut him off with a smirk. "Let's make it a fourth time, shall we?" and you promptly shut him up by placing your lips on his.

You weren't jealous of the other people Seungmin had kissed. God knows how awful this entire experience would have been if you both were going into it as novices. If anything, you were glad you were the third person he was kissing, because in that celestial moment, you made a vow.

You may not be the first person Seungmin had kissed, but you would make damn well sure to be the last.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

t - girl, it's the epilogue!

Seungmin yawned and wrapped his arm around your waist, practically caging you to the bed. He let out whine when you tried to get out of his grasp and just pulled you closer. You poked him in the side until he yelped.

"Kim Seungmin, you are not skipping work today. I know this display of affections is just so that I concede and let you stay home for cuddles," you told him sternly.

"But it worked last time. And the time before that. And the time before-"

"Well, it won't work this time," you announced with an air of finality.

If anything, being in a relationship with Seungmin only increased the penchant for banter you both had. You both rarely disagreed on things, but went back and forth for fun anyways. You knew your boundaries and never crossed them, but argued like cats and dogs nonetheless.

Well, you called it arguing. Seungmin called it flirting.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You both finally pulled up at Seungmin's workplace and you snorted when you saw the building gates. Seungmin drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and looked at you with a smile that you gave back. It was his first day on the job as Principal.

It had been ten years since you stepped foot on the campus of Park Academy.

"The legacy of Principal Kims continues," you giggled, proud of yourself for making that joke.

"That's because Kims are superior," Seungmin declared.

"That is literally so offensive," you flicked him arm lightly.

Seungmin's eyes met yours and a familiar look in it made you outwardly dread and inwardly prepare to rebut whatever he was going to tell you.

"You shouldn't say that," he snickered, "Considering that you'll be an honorary Kim yourself soon."

Oh. Oh.

It would be a week until students started coming to campus, there classes yet to start. When Seungmin mentioned this to you, you asked if you could come along to see the campus once. The campus where you fell in love with him.

"You might be a hot shot CEO," Seungmin relentlessly teased, "But it's good to go back to your roots sometimes."

It was ironic how you called his mother more than he did.

Your feet subconsciously guided you to the library. You loved this library. It was the place where you spent some of the best moments of your life. This was where you slowly fell in love with Seungmin, uncovering him layer by layer until you could call him yours.

You felt a laugh bubble up your throat when you made your way to the Romantic Literature section. Seungmin gave you a poor attempt at a smile as he observed you. In fact, he looked extremely nervous, a sharp juxtaposition to the flirty demeanor of his just a few minutes ago.

You could count on one hand the amount of times you had seen Seungmin being nervous.

It must have been anxiety surrounding the promotion. You reached over to squeeze his hand and give him a reassuring pat. Once you were sure that he would be fine, you turned back to prodding at the books shelved on the wall as if they were part of some lab experiment.

Once you were satisfied, you turned to give Seungmin the signal to go, when you stumbled backwards at what was in front of you.

Seungmin stood down on one knee, a box in his hand, with the most beautiful ring you had ever seen inside it.

"What?" you asked, your voice shaky. Tears instantly began to spring up in your eyes.

This wasn't real. This wasn't happening. But it was. The man you had loved for a decade was here, in front of you, wordlessly asking to turn those ten years into the rest of a shared forever.

"I had a really dramatic speech planned," he rambled, "But I forgot since I'm kind of terrified and you do always tell me to speak from my heart so here goes nothing."

"I have probably mentioned this thousands of times, but I have felt a magnetic pull towards you since the moment I first interacted with you. I didn't know what it would turn into then, but I knew it was going to be something, and I have been eternally grateful that it was love."

"To put it simply: every single infinitesimal particle that makes me in hopelessly in love with every infinitesimal particle that makes you. I love you, so, so much. I have been yearning for a forever with you before I even knew it so; will you marry me?"

He stopped with a sniff and swiped the sleeve of his sweater across his eyes. "Shit, I wasn't supposed to cry."

It all came full circle, didn't it? Ten years ago, he asked you to prom. Ten years later, he offered you eternity.

You let out a laugh and threw yourself at him, peppering him with kisses. "And you said you didn't want to come to work today," you laughed in between your cuddle attack.

"So, this means yes?"

You face palmed. "This means yes, Seungmin. Yes, I will marry you. In every universe, I know that I will spend the rest of my life with you."

Seungmin gathered you in his arms and kissed you like he was burning and you were oxygen. Binary stars, burning and burning, bleeding into each other in every reality because, there could never be you without him, one without the other.

Ten years ago, you swore that you would be the last person Seungmin would ever kiss.

Ten years later, nobody could say that you weren't a woman of your word.

please reblog and comment if you liked this fic! it means everything to me and I love reading your thoughts <3

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#- via's fics <3 #stray kids #skz #seungmin #seungmin fluff #seungmin x reader #seungmin imagines #seungmin stray kids #seungmin angst #seungmin x you #kim seungmin x reader

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bloodblanks · 11 months

Text

feverish and faint [entire slendermansion x reader] — smut

An attempt at escaping the eldritch entity that kidnapped you leads to... this. — ft: eyeless jack, masky, hoodie, ticci toby, jeff the killer, ben drowned, and slenderman.

inspired by passed around from @succulentwritings_official on ao3! ♡

author's note: dead dove: do not eat. this fanfiction will contain explicit sexual content, including rape/non-con, dub-con, gangbang(s), tentacles, facefucking, degradation, mild blood, and similar themes.

this is quite literally a slendermansion train. if you don’t like this kind of content, don’t fucking read it. you have been warned.

please read at your own discretion.

this work has not yet been proofread.

You thought you knew what you were getting into when you tried to escape.

A broken leg. Confinement back in the basement. Maybe he’d rough you up with those tentacles of his. Depending on how much your escape had upset him, or maybe if he was just feeling particularly cruel, you would start hearing static, blacking out. Losing your sense of time, losing your memories.

All of that, you had mentally prepared yourself for; you had acknowledged the risks at the time and still decided it would be worth it.

For your friends, your family. All of which were sure to have missed you dearly—it had been months since you were taken captive. It would’ve been worth it for the chance to see them again.

Even if you were caught, brought back and punished, it would still be worth it. For a second to breathe fresh air. For even a glimpse of the outside world again. For anything, anything besides the stale, dull rooms of the mansion you were trapped in.

At least, that’s what you believed.

When you were finally found, approximately two hours later, cowering at the overgrown roots of a tall tree, knees stained with dirt and coagulated blood, face damp with tears, by the very eldritch entity that had ripped you from your peaceful life, you knew you were wrong.

But it wasn’t until you were dragged back into the mansion, kicking and screaming until your throat was hoarse, knowing that there was nobody to hear you, nobody to save you, that you only started to realize just how wrong you were.

Your first sign of alarm was when he didn’t say a word, not even after he had brought you back into the mansion, back into your almost luxurious—with velvet curtains and silk bedsheets—yet dreadful bedroom.

Your second sign of alarm was when instead of snapping your bones or sending you into a coughing fit with blood seeping from your nostrils, the tall, monstrous being ran a bath, filling the bathtub with comforting hot water and vanilla bubbles.

But the third time was indeed the charm, the last sign you needed to let you know that there was something terrible planned in store for you.

After all, the premonition of impeding doom was unmistakable as he escorted you into the bath and lathered you up in delicious honey foam, gently scrubbing the grime off your skin. Despite the perfectly warm temperature of the water, you couldn’t avoid the cold, cold feeling of dread as your heart sank down into your gut.

He was pampering you like a doll, and your heart pulsed anxiously as you tried to figure out why.

“Why are you doing this?” you meekly questioned, afraid of invoking further wrath.

The tall man, the one you had now come to know as Slenderman, ignored your question.

You could feel his voice in your head as he replied.

“Did you enjoy your little escape, darling?” The words instantly sent a chill down your spine.

The volume of your heartbeat increased, each thump louder than the last and reverberating within your skull. You could feel your chest tighten, your ribcage clamping down around your lungs like a vice as your breathing quickened.

“I’m— I’m sorry,” you muttered, curling your legs into your chest, hugging them tight.

“Oh, darling,” the man made a noise akin to a sigh. “I know you aren’t.”

He reached one of his hands over, long fingers taking ahold of your chin, tilting your head upwards to meet his blank canvas of a face.

“But, you will be, soon enough.”

You could hear the promise in his words, and you tried to mentally brace yourself for whatever punishment he’d put you through.

But no amount of preparation would’ve been enough for this.

—

When you woke up, you were greeted by a shroud of darkness. When you blinked, you could feel your eyelashes flutter against something soft—likely a cloth, a blindfold of some sort.

This was new.

You still had faint traces of a headache from what had previously occurred. After bathing you and drying you off, your head was instantly filled with the now familiar buzz of static, and it wasn’t long before your consciousness slipped from your grasp.

You winced, stirring from your resting position before the dreaded voice once again permeated your skull.

“Good, you’re awake,” Slenderman spoke. “Right on time.”

Right on time? For what? You weren’t sure that you wanted to find out, but it wasn’t like you really had a say in it.

“Come on in, everyone,” Slenderman addressed an unknown audience, though it wasn’t hard to guess who he was referring to. Throughout your stay in the mansion, the tall man had made you aware of the presence of others living there. You knew that other people, or possibly creatures like himself resided in the same building as you, though you fortunately never had to meet them. Even during your brief escape, you hadn’t seen anyone else, which you had been thankful for. But it appeared that your luck had ran out, and you were soon to face a fear greater than the unknown.

You heard a door creak open, then footsteps—though you couldn’t tell yet how many people there were—which came to a shuffling halt after a few seconds.

The room was silent, save for the pounding rush of blood in your ears.

“Darling,” Slenderman’s voice drawled on, a hint of amusement audible as you felt tendrils wrap around your limbs, picking you up and placing you on what you guessed to be his lap. “You’ve been rather disobedient lately, haven’t you?”

You didn’t respond, your heart threatening to combust in your chest as your body tensed up. You felt his hands brush against your face as his fingers slipped underneath the cloth covering your sight.

“You’ll have to be taught a lesson now, dear.” With that, the blindfold was lifted from your eyes, though the sudden brightness of the room proved to be too harsh on your eyes, causing you to flinch, squinting for a few seconds as you adjusted to the light.

You realized two things at once. First of all, there were numerous men before you, of various different appearances and sizes. And second of all, you were half-naked, the only clothing covering you being a sheer, white mesh lingerie dress and matching panties.

The realization of what was going on instantly dawned upon you, your eyes widening and blood running cold.

“No,” you breathed. “No, Slenderman, please, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again—”

“Of course not,” he chuckled, a low rumble in his chest as he laughed. “That’s what I’m making sure of.”

He diverted his attention from you, back to the group of men before you. You counted in your head; there were six of them.

“Go ahead, gentlemen. You’re free to do with her whatever you want.”

The final words sealing your fate were spoken. As soon as the words were said, two of the men moved forward, advancing towards you.

The first one to reach you was a man in a tan jacket. His face was concealed behind a white mask with black painted features, dark brown hair falling past it.

“Should’ve known better than to piss him off,” he snickered. “But I’m definitely not complaining.”

You could only watch in horror as he unbuttoned his jeans, sliding down the zipper and pulling down both his pants and underwear together, revealing his already erect member.

You panicked at the sight, condensation beginning to bead up on your forehead as your breathing quickened from anxiety.

“Please don’t do this,” you begged, but the man merely laughed.

“No can do, princess,” he answered with a callous tone. “Now get to work and suck it.”

When you didn’t move, merely looked at him with pleading eyes in hopes of the slight bit of mercy, the man grew impatient, roughly grasping a handful of your hair and pulling you forward towards him, your lips mere centimetres from his cock.

“Open your mouth,” he ordered. You gulped, swallowing the saliva that had pooled in your mouth, trying to get past your own reluctance.

A harsh slap to your face jerked your head sideways, your cheek instantly stinging in discomfort as you hissed in pain.

“Open your mouth,” the masked man repeated himself, this time more forcefully. You could only comply, allowing your lips to part slightly. He wasted no time in shoving his cock past your lips, using the hand he had in your hair to push your head down, forcing you to take his length in until the head hit the back of your throat. You could feel your eyes water, tearing up as he aggressively fucked your mouth, thrusting in and out as you struggled to keep up. You tried your best to breathe through your nose, but it didn’t prevent you from gagging on his erection, the discomfort causing the first tear to slide down your cheek.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw one of the other men—black fabric mask with a red stitched on face, dressed in a yellow hoodie and jeans—move towards you. The man with the porcelain mask noticed as well, ceasing his thrusting for a second to address his companion.

“You want a piece of her too, huh, Hoodie?” You could hear the grin in his voice as he spoke.

The man in yellow, that you now knew as Hoodie, replied.

“She’s got a nice body. I have no reason not to.” His voice was softer, lacking the aggressiveness that the former held. You couldn’t really frown, with the man’s erection still in your mouth, but you could feel irritation spike at his comment with the way he spoke about you. As if you were just an object, a piece of meat. Though, at the same time, there was something about that, that elicited a scintilla of dark excitement within you. Something you decided you wouldn’t—you couldn’t—pay any mind to.

The first man pulled you off of his member with a harsh tug to your hair, a squeak leaving your lips, finally able to make sound again. You took the opportunity to try and protest again, before this went even further.

“Guys, please,” you whined, knowing your efforts would likely prove to be fruitless. “Please stop.”

The masked man only snickered, further cementing how futile your objections were. You felt as if he was about to make a snarky comment, but instead, the hooded man spoke.

“Masky, shut her up.” His tone was flatter, colder than before, causing a fresh wave of goosebumps to break out over the surface of your skin.

Before you knew it, Masky was pushing you back down onto his cock, and you couldn’t do much besides take his length into your mouth, though this time, his movements were slightly slower as he jerked his hips against your mouth.

With your nose practically pressed up to Masky’s stomach, your vision was rather limited, though you could feel Hoodie’s hands on your skin, making you flinch.

You could feel his hands trail down your stomach to your hips, but it wasn’t until his fingers brushed against the thin fabric of your panties that you panicked, trying to squirm away from his touch. Your resistance only made the tentacles wrapping around your limbs tighten, which in return caused you to thrash harder against their grip. It wasn’t until they were binding your arms and wrists so tightly that you were worried about your circulation, that you finally stopped trying to break free. It wasn’t like you could even move as that point, anyway, the tendrils holding you perfectly still, inanimate as a statue.

Your gasp was muffled by the cock in your mouth. Hoodie picked your hips up, lifting them off of Slenderman’s lap so that your stomach was pressed against the eldritch entity’s thighs instead, with your ass in the air. You felt his fingers push your panties aside, exposing your cunt to the cooler temperature of the room, sending shivers down your spine.

You couldn’t make a sound, Masky picking up the pace as he abused your mouth, your eyes squeezing shut in discomfort, before you received another sharp tug to your hair.

“Look at me,” he snapped. You opened your watery eyes to meekly glance at him, your vision blurring with tears.

At the same time, you felt a finger brush against your clit, and you flinched, instinctively trying to wiggle away but there wasn’t anywhere for you to go.

You could feel that it was likely Hoodie’s thumb when he started rubbing circles around your clit, the unexpected pleasure startling you. As he continued his movements, you couldn’t help but feel good, thanking whatever god was out there that at least your moans were stifled by Masky’s cock as he rapidly thrust in and out of your mouth.

You could feel his thrusts growing more frantic, but you found it hard to pay much attention with Hoodie’s fingers pressed against your clit, the unwanted pleasure beginning to cloud your judgement.

You only snapped out of it for a brief second when Masky grunted, his hips jerking to a sudden halt in your mouth, and you could feel liquid, slightly bitter and salty flood your mouth.

“Drink it all,” he demanded. You complied, doing your best to swallow the fluid, the aftertaste making you grimace as he pulled out, stepping away to redress himself.

You were glad that he was done for a second—at least this was getting closer to being over than before—but then realized something. There was nothing to muffle your moans, not anymore, and you could only do your best to hold it in, despite Hoodie continuing to play with the sensitive nub of flesh, each movement only further hazing your mind. You were hoping he wouldn’t notice, as you strained to keep yourself from moving your hips, wanting more, but your hopes were in vain when you heard him speak.

“Enjoying yourself?” Hoodie’s tone was as callous as ever, but it held a hint of sadistic joy, and you were just about to tell him ‘no’ when you felt him slip two fingers past your entrance, a lustful gasp escaping your lips.

You could feel a wildfire blazing across your cheeks, lowering your gaze to the floor in shame as he worked his digits inside of you, the tips of his fingers rubbing at your g-spot.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you denied, trying to hold onto whatever slivers of pride you had left.

“Is that why you’re so wet?” You couldn’t see him, but you could hear the grin in his voice as his fingers made a particularly lewd, squelching sound inside you.

You didn’t answer, your embarrassment peaking as you listened to the sounds that your own body was making.

You couldn’t hold back from whining when he pulled his fingers out, the sudden lack of sensation making you squeeze your thighs together, trying to relieve yourself of the heat building up inside of you.

You heard some shuffling—likely him undoing his pants—before you heard footsteps, your head snapping towards the source of the sound.

Another man was approaching you, dressed in a khaki coloured sweater with striped sleeves, complete with jeans as well, though his mask was different than the others, more so resembling a mouthguard with a separate pair of goggles.

“You should—woo—make her beg for it first,” he suggested, a dark chuckle leaving his lips. The tone of his voice gave you chills, something clearly more sinister than the other two that had spoken so far.

“I don’t see the need,” Hoodie responded. “You can if you want.”

The man with goggles shrugged, before turning to you. Behind the goggles, you could see the sadistic gleam in his amber eyes.

“Mind waiting for a second?” he asked, seemingly to Hoodie, though the question felt rhetorical.

“No, go ahead.” You were really hoping Hoodie would object, but it seemed like he didn’t have any issue with the former’s antics.

“Alright,” the man with goggles snickered. “Listen up, buttercup. You’re going to—woo—beg real fucking nice for me, and when I’m satisfied, he’ll fuck you. How does that sound?”

Awful, you thought, staring at him, aghast. There was no way you were doing this. There was no way you would just give up your own dignity like that. At least, that’s what you wanted to believe, when you felt Hoodie’s fingers rub at your dripping cunt again, but this time, at an agonizingly slow pace.

You whined, his fingers drawing the laziest of circles around your clit, his touches softer than before, just enough to tease you but not enough to satisfy you.

The goggled man cackled.

“Thought you didn’t see the need,” he said.

“I don’t,” Hoodie restated what he previously said. “I’m just helping you out, Toby.”

Toby. So that was his name. You kept it in mind—for no particular reason—as Hoodie continued his actions, every passing second a slow torture for you.

It felt good. You wanted more. You whimpered, feeling any self-control you had left, slip from your grasp.

“Please,” you finally whispered. “Please, Toby, I want it.”

You couldn’t look him in the eyes; your ego had been shattered and thrown in the gutter. If there was any occasion befitting for Slenderman’s memory erasure, it would be this. But he wouldn’t be so kind as to let you forget this, you were sure of that.

“Didn’t hear you, sorry,” Toby taunted, the glee clearly audible in his voice. “Care to repeat yourself—woh—woo—one more time?”

You gritted your teeth, cursing yourself for being foolish and naïve enough to have ever gotten in this situation.

“Please,” you spoke under your breath.

“Louder,” he cut you off. To your own horror, you found yourself complying.

“Please, Toby, I want it,” you cried out, your voice high-pitched and whiny and nothing like you had ever imagined you’d sound.

“Good girl,” Toby praised you, his voice sickly sweet.

As soon as the words left his lips, you felt one of Hoodie’s hands grip your hips, pulling them toward himself, the other hand likely lining himself up with your entrance as you felt the tip of his erection press against it.

He plunged himself inside you with a delightful stretch, eliciting a loud moan from your lips. You were already more than soaked; he was able to easily slide in, much to your further embarrassment. You felt his other hand grip your hip, holding on tightly as he started pumping into you, building up a steady rhythm, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room.

You were getting lost in the pleasure, each thrust of his hips sending a fresh jolt of electricity through your body, when Toby reached down for your face, taking ahold of your chin with his thumb and index finger, tilting your head up towards him.

He slowly ran his thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it downwards slightly before pushing his finger in past your parted lips. You lightly flicked your tongue against his thumb, causing him to chuckle once again.

He clicked his tongue, making a ‘tsk’ sound as he shook his head in mock disapproval.

“And you were begging for us to stop...” Toby laughed, retracting his finger from your mouth with a slick pop. You didn’t reply to him, instead sucking in a sharp breath as Hoodie’s cock slammed against a particularly pleasurable spot inside of you.

Toby undid his jeans, pulling them down, proceeding to do the same with his underwear, releasing his hard-on from his pants. He once again gripped your chin, your lips already parting for him as he slid inside of your mouth. His member was larger than Masky’s—that or he was more forceful, you couldn’t tell—and instantly hit the back of your throat, but he didn’t stop there. Instead, he continued to force your head down, hand pressing against the back of your head until you felt his cock fill your throat, instantly triggering your gag reflex. You gagged and choked around his cock, eyes once again watering as you found yourself unable to breathe, only able to glance at him helplessly as he began fucking your throat, bucking his hips into your mouth and all the way down your throat.

Meanwhile, Hoodie’s rhythmic thrusts were growing faster, pounding into you harder than before as tension built up within you. With one cock down your throat and the other stuffing your cunt, you were caught in the juxtaposition between discomfort and ecstasy, both sensations overwhelming your mind and flooding your senses, the last of any rational thoughts extinguished; snuffed out like a flame.

“My, my,” Slenderman’s booming voice echoed through your skull. “If I had known sooner that you would be this easy to break...”

You felt one of the tentacles wrapped around your body loosen its grip, not leaving you with enough time to wonder why. Instead you felt the foreign appendage flick at your swollen clit, your eyes instantly widening at the unexpected action.

Another deep sigh, though the sound was clearly inhuman.

“You’re just a slut after all, aren’t you, darling?”

Never in your life would you have wanted to admit it, but you couldn’t help the way his words tightened the knot in your stomach, the tension building up to a peak as your walls spasmed and contracted. The feeling of your insides squeezing around Hoodie’s cock must’ve tipped him off the edge because you could hear him groaning as he, too, came, emptying himself inside of you.

He pulled out, his hold on your hips slackening, your lower body proceeding to slump down, though Toby didn’t stop pumping in and out of your mouth. If anything, his movements grew rougher, your throat getting fucked raw, the tiny inhales of oxygen you were able to take through your nose not enough to supply your lungs. Your eyes welled up with tears from the slight pain that you now couldn’t ignore, your throat being mercilessly scraped raw and jaw cramping up.

You blinked, a few drops falling down your face in glistening streams. When Toby finally jerked his hips up with one last hard thrust, you were thankful that you’d be able to breathe soon, feeling his cock twitch, lodged in your windpipe as his semen spilled down your esophagus.

He kept you there, holding your head down until he had finished pouring out every last drop of his cum, giving you no choice but to swallow it all, your head almost dizzy from the lack of oxygen. At last, he yanked you off his member, leaving you spluttering and gasping for much needed air before you dropped your head, face sinking into the soft sheets that Slenderman was sitting on.

You were still breathing heavily, sucking in large inhales at a rapid pace, when you heard someone speak.

“Nice to meet you, dollface. The name’s Jeff.” Upon seeing him up close, you instantly froze up, a small gasp leaving your lips. You didn’t even realize when this man had appeared and Toby left, but here he was, standing before you, eyes caked in charcoal, skin a pale, leathery white, and an artificial, carved smile wide open in his cheeks.

You whimpered, trying to get up and squirm away from Jeff, who laughed, seemingly finding your reaction entertaining.

“Aw, babe, no need to be scared of me,” he cackled. “I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun together. Isn’t that right, boss?”

Slenderman chuckled, the noise a deep vibration rumbling through your skull.

“With how much of a slut she has turned out to be, I’m sure she’ll love it. Wouldn’t you agree, my dear?”

The question was directed at you, causing your face to heat up, flushing with shame. It wasn’t so much humiliating because he called you that, but more so because it was true, merely the words themselves able to send warmth pooling between your thighs.

“I’m— I’m not a slut,” you pathetically tried to defend yourself, though you didn’t even believe your own words.

“Is that so?” Slenderman questioned, the dark amusement visible in his voice. You felt one of his mysterious appendages pry itself between your thighs, the tip swirling around your clit, teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“A-Ah!” you gasped, still sensitive from your orgasm. “Stop—”

“Stop?” he laughed mischievously. His tendril gave languid, broad strokes over your clit, the smooth, silicone-like feel of the tentacle lighting up your nerves, setting your skin ablaze with heat. You couldn’t help but purr in delight, bucking your hips against the foreign sensation, your pride now rendered non-existent. “Is that really what you want, love?”

You let out a sigh of pleasure, shaking your head ‘no’ and mumbling something along the lines for him to keep going, at the same time cursing yourself for being so shameless.

“Remind me to never get on your bad side,” another man stated. He was blonde, dressed in green—reminiscent of Link from Legend of Zelda—and relatively slender, though what really stood out was the crimson irises he possessed, complete with ebony scleras. “Turning your ‘love’ into a mindbroken fucktoy, even I wouldn’t be so heartless.”

“It’s a fitting and effective punishment,” Slenderman explained, his voice nonchalant though you didn’t fail to catch the hint of perverse enjoyment evident in his tone.

The blonde shrugged, not commenting further on the topic, instead turning to Jeff and asking him a question.

“You cool with a blowjob?” he grinned.

“From you or her?” Jeff replied, causing the blonde man to roll his scarlet eyes.

“Who do you think?” the blonde shot him what appeared to be a playful glare, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, I’m happy with fucking that pretty face of hers,” Jeff answered, the maniacal smile ever so present on his face.

“Bet.” The man dressed in green then turned to Slenderman. “Boss, am I good to fuck her on the bed or you want her to stay on your lap?”

“As I said, Ben, you’re free to do with her whatever you want.” As he finished his sentence, he loosened his grip, the tendrils uncoiling from your limbs and letting your body fall free.

Ben then turned to you.

“You heard him,” he stated. “Get on the bed.”

You pushed yourself up onto your elbows with shaky arms, inelegantly swinging your legs over Slenderman’s lap, your feet touching the wooden floor. As soon as you stood up, you could feel warm fluid dripping down your thigh, some of it landing on the ground with a small splat. You tried to pretend it didn’t happen, instead crawling onto the bed and sitting down on it, pulling your legs into your chest, holding them with your arms. Your eyes were looking down at your own knees, too shy to meet the gaze of the two men that were about to be having sex with you.

“Good girl,” Ben cooed at you, seconds before he climbed onto the bed, arms pushing your torso down, your back falling flat against the thankfully soft, plush mattress, head sinking into the material.

“Hm,” he seemed to be thinking. “Actually, scoot up.” You were about to follow his instructions when he picked your body up with surprising ease considering his lean frame, and brought you over to the one side of the bed, setting you down. His hand was on your chest, pushing it down onto the mattress though this time your head didn’t meet anything solid, instead dangling a bit off the edge.

“Not bad,” Jeff chuckled, walking over to stand next to you. You peered up at him, heartbeat once again starting to race as he began undoing his black dress pants, pulling them down alongside his underwear.

His cock was half-erect, practically hovering mere centimetres over your face, and you realized then how they planned to do this.

“Alright, doll, open that pretty mouth of yours for me,” he said, leering at you from above.

You parted your lips, and he wasted no time putting his member in your mouth, the organ growing firmer and firmer as you took it in, trying to wrap your lips around it, moving your tongue alongside the shaft.

“That’s perfect,” Jeff groaned. “You’re such a good whore.”

You were doing your best to suck Jeff’s cock that was now fully erect and filling your mouth, when Ben’s hands reached towards your chest, giving your breasts a tentative squeeze. His movements soon grew rougher, fingers groping and playing with the mounds of flesh on your chest, soon bringing his mouth down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth.

Your eyes widened, though you couldn’t make any noise, with Jeff languidly pumping in and out of your mouth, your tongue swirling around the tip, the taste of pre-cum mixing with your saliva.

Ben continued toying with your nipples, alternating between sucking on them, twirling his tongue against the hardened bud, and even nipping at them, the sensation causing goosebumps to break out over your skin, your hair follicles standing on end as you shuddered from his touch.

You felt his other hand snake down towards your waist, grabbing at your hips before taking hold of your thigh, squishing the tender inner area. He let go of your nipple with a wet popping sound, your eyes instantly turning towards the wall to your side, feeling your face heat up once again.

He brought his head down, taking the soft part of your thigh into his mouth, sucking on the flesh, his teeth gently grazing the surface of your skin, the action sure to leave marks as soon as he let go, though he repeated the process multiple times after, getting closer and closer to your cunt.

He licked at your clit, the feeling sending sparks of pleasure flying, before he took the sensitive nub between his lips, and you could feel the wet, warm suction that you couldn’t help but melt into.

“Use more tongue,” Jeff demanded, his rough voice pulling you out of your euphoria for a split second. You tried to focus on doing as he said, however, Ben’s mouth lapping at your clit, and his fingers that were beginning to fuck into you were too distracting.

You could feel him curve his fingers to skillfully rub at your g-spot, causing you to buck your hips up at him, wanting more.

“God,” you could just hear the smirk in his voice as he pulled his fingers out, leaving you unbearably empty. “You really are a slut. You want it that badly?”

You couldn’t respond, mouth still busy pleasuring Jeff, but Slenderman took it upon himself to reply in your place.

“It appears that she does.” The supernatural creature reached one of his pale, enormous hands towards your cunt, feeling your entrance, slick and slippery with your own juices. “I doubt all of this is just cum.”

When he retracted his hand, you felt the weight of the bed shift slightly, as Ben got himself into position to fuck you, picking your hips up and aligning his cock with your entrance.

He plunged himself in, the feeling of his shaft filling up your needy insides was nothing short of heavenly, and he didn’t bother wasting any time—it wasn’t like you needed to adjust—as he began thrusting in and out of you at a rapid but steady pace.

As he was fucking you, he lifted your legs up and over his shoulders, allowing himself to be able to go deeper, the tip of his cock brushing up against your cervix.

You found yourself getting lost in the pleasure once more, simply letting go of any rational thought and permitting yourself to enjoy getting fucked like a slut.

Jeff was simultaneously breathing heavily as he rutted into your mouth, and you could anticipate it when he began to near, but to your surprise, he pulled out of your mouth.

Instead, you watched as he stroked his cock, hands gripping the length and jerking himself off for the few seconds before he came, moaning, his cum spurting out from the head of his cock and splattering over your face. Some of the translucent fluid splashed on your half-lidded eyes, sticking to your eyelashes, while some landed in your still open mouth, the rest staining both your skin and hair.

“That was lovely,” Jeff grinned—as always. “Thanks for the service, doll.”

You only nodded, gasping for air and inhaling sharp breaths as you greedily sucked in a proper amount of oxygen.

That didn’t stop you from letting out moans in between inhales, Ben drilling into you and making work of your insides; wet, vulgar slapping noises filling the room.

You didn’t expect it when he let go of your legs—though they remained hoisted over his shoulders—and reached out towards you, wrapping his hands around your neck.

Ben applied pressure to the sides of your neck as he continued thrusting into you, picking up the pace as you instinctively reached for his wrists, grabbing onto them although you knew you had no chance of prying them off had you wanted to do so. Somehow, the thought of that further spurred you on, amplifying your arousal as you started feeling lightheaded, blood no longer flowing to your head as it should be.

To your surprise, it was under those circumstances that you felt fire in your abdomen, each slap of his hips against yours making you inadvertently grind up against him as pressure built up inside you, his quick yet steady movements bringing you to the edge.

He still hadn’t let go of your neck when your gut tightened, shockwaves gripping your body as you reached your crescendo. For a second you were floating in space, the room blurring from the cut off blood supply, spinning and hazing over with white light as your gut tightened, back arching and toes curling, your cunt clenching at his cock.

You only noticed that his hold around your throat was gone when the room went back to normal, the colours returning and shapes forming once more as your vision cleared up. As your sight sharpened, you could see Ben moving away from you, a tired laugh leaving his lips as he sat down on the bed. You realized that he, too, had came at some point, the evidence being the semen that you could feel seeping out from your cunt, dirtying the bed, though that didn’t matter to you.

“She’s practically gone,” you heard Ben comment. “You sure she can keep going?”

“She will have to,” Slenderman replied. “Our last guest has been waiting patiently, after all. She doesn’t have a choice.”

“You really are cruel,” Ben’s tone was lighthearted, though it didn’t feel like he was completely joking. You paid it no mind, however, but rather focused on Slenderman’s words.

One last guest, you thought. You wondered who it would be, and what they were like as you looked up at the ceiling with a vacant gaze.

You didn’t have to wonder for long, because the final guest that Slenderman spoke of was already walking towards you, his footsteps echoing in the chamber you were in, stopping beside you. What was formerly a blank ceiling in your sight was now replaced with a tall, very tall man, donning a doctor’s coat and navy blue mask, a viscous, tar-like liquid trickling from the eye sockets. He hovered there for a few seconds, seemingly inspecting you—though you couldn’t tell—before speaking.

“Get up.” The sound of his voice was enough to startle you out of your daze. It was nothing like you’d ever heard before, the only thing coming close enough would have been Slenderman’s voice, which was deep, resonant, and laced with static. The blue masked man’s voice on the other hand, was gravelly and smooth, but with an unmistakable inhuman edge to it, almost like a demonic rasp.

You didn’t move, instead laid there stunned, though it was dumb of you to do so. How could you not expect other creatures, after knowing Slenderman himself? You had made the mistake of letting yourself get too accustomed to the previous five men, that were all seemingly mortal.

“Get up, darling,” the blue masked man repeated himself. You could already hear the hunger in his voice, something of a completely different essence than the lust the previous men had emanated.

You rolled over, pushing yourself up with quivering arms, stepping off the bed with equally shaky legs.

When you first thought of this man as tall, you had expected him to be two metres or so, but seeing him, you’d guess that he was at least thirty centimetres above your naïve, foolish expectations.

Standing next to him, your head was barely at his chest. The sensation of someone towering over you in the way he did was something you had only experienced with the eldritch entity that kidnapped you, though Slenderman was somehow even taller than that.

Explains why the ceilings are so high in this mansion, you thought to yourself.

The blue masked man peered down at you, with a curiosity that made you think of the way scientists would look at guinea pigs. You could feel a chill run down your spine, fear crawling alongside every ridge and bone, your fingers trembling as you tried to maintain your composure. However, you weren’t sure what it was that you were trying to contain anymore, the instinctual fear that you felt, or the carnal, primal desire that was threatening to overtake you once more.

The blue masked man lifted a hand, and it was only then that you realized his skin was grey. You blinked, wondering if your vision was just hazy still but to your thrill horror, you weren’t mistaken.

It wasn’t that he was pale, or perhaps sick. No, he was unmistakably grey, with darker veins running through the back of his hand, and sharp, onyx nails.

You couldn’t bring yourself to move or run away when he brushed your hair behind your ear, an almost innocent, even lovely gesture had you not been in the situation you were in.

His fingers trailed down to your neck, the sharpness of his nails dangerously teasing at your skin, sending continuous shudders in your body the entire way. He stopped at your shoulder, gripping it as he used his other hand to push his mask up, revealing the same grey skin and lips.

But what really surprised you was when he opened his mouth, revealing a set of razor sharp teeth, which opened to showcase something even more horrific—three forked, twisting black tongues.

With wide eyes, you reflexively stumbled backwards, though his hand on your shoulder stopped you before you made it even two full steps.

He leaned his head down, all three tongues touching your body. One at your jaw, one at your jugular, and the last at your collarbone, all flicking against the surface of your skin at the same time. The sensation was one of electricity, lightning bolts and sparks, your body reacting to his touch in a way you’d never experienced before, causing you to make a sound akin to both a whimper and gasp.

The man chuckled, a dark, rumbly, yet oddly salacious sound.

“You’ll be delicious,” he grinned, flashing his shark like teeth.

“Jack, you can use her however you please,” Slenderman cut in. “But do refrain from eating her, please.”

Eating? Surely he didn’t mean what you thought he meant—were you really about to get fucked by a flesh-eating demon?

That thought didn’t turn you off as much as it should have. If anything, you felt the ache between your thighs begin to throb once more, and you involuntarily clenched them, pressing them together.

“I’ll do my best not to,” Jack responded, the grin not leaving his face for a single second, not until he put his mask back down, at least. You nervously nibbled on your bottom lip, anxiously yet eagerly waiting for his move.

Jack didn’t start right away; he appeared to be studying you, likely thinking of what exactly he should do with you—how exactly he should fuck you. But you’d be lying to yourself that the anticipation wasn’t getting the best of you, the sexual tension in the air growing thicker and heavier by the second.

It was when you felt like you couldn’t wait any longer, somehow feeling impatient, almost, that he finally did something, though it wasn’t what you expected.

Jack sat down on the edge of the bed, lazily leaning back a bit before addressing you.

“Come here,” he beckoned you with his fingers.

As if you were hypnotized, you found yourself happily climbing over his legs and sitting on his lap, your ass pressed against his crotch and hands on his shoulders.

“You seem pretty worn out,” Jack casually stated, as if it was a simple observation, like the sky being blue or the grass being green. “You think you can handle me, sweetheart?”

You gazed into his eyes, twin abysses in Neptune’s mask, almost deliriously as you nodded.

Jack only hummed, both hands going to his ears to remove the midnight blue mask from his face.

“Good,” he said, all sharp teeth and smiles as he took the mask off, laying it aside on the bed, his features now revealed.

You weren’t sure what you had expected, but he was oddly attractive, with elegant bone structure and fluttering, dark eyelashes, though they covered something far more sinister—a set of hollowed out eye sockets.

You couldn’t help but let your jaw fall, mouth agape at the sight. You weren’t too sure how you were still finding things to be astonished over, though the mansion so far had been a continuous chain of surprises.

Jack put his hands on your hips, grasping at your asscheeks, his nails scratching the surface of your skin, causing a small squeak to leave your lips. A sly smirk formed on his ashen face, seconds before he buried his face into the crook of your neck.

Ragged breaths left your lips as he took your skin into his mouth, his fangs scraping against your throat before letting it go, the slight sting making you let out a sharp hiss, though it was quickly overshadowed by the intoxicating warmth of his tongues dancing along the tiny incisions he left.

The way he sucked on your neck would be similar to the way Ben did with your thighs, if it weren’t for the starvation that he devoured you with, an abundance of scratches littering half of your upper body, scattered from just below your jawbone all the way to your shoulder, some even dipping down to your collarbone.

You didn’t need to see it to know the minuscule drops of blood beading at the faint incision lines, quickly lapped up by one of his many tongues, Jack almost purring, a contented noise leaving his lips as he tasted you.

Amidst the concoction of pleasurable feelings—his mouth greedily consuming you, his fingers toying with the flesh of your ass—you could feel his crotch stiffen beneath your thighs, the feeling of his bulge rubbing up against you ever so tantalizing.

You didn’t even realize your satisfied hums, nor the way you ground your hips against the hardness in his pants, your lust fully taking control of both your body and mind. It didn’t slip past Jack’s attention, though, because he then lifted his head back up and away from your faintly lacerated yet heavily bruised neck.

You couldn’t help but think that you liked the hickeys he had left on you; there was something titillating about him marking you.

As if he could read your thoughts, Jack spoke.

“Look at you,” he drawled. “Getting so worked up already, and I’ve barely even touched you.” As he spoke, he let go of your behind, instead dipping his hand underneath to slide two fingers up your cunt, sticky and drenched with arousal. You moaned, feeling his fingers fill you. Despite his hand being much larger than the average male’s, his digits easily fit inside you with how wet you were.

When he pulled his fingers out, you couldn’t help but whine at the lack of sensation, rubbing your cunt against his visibly hardened crotch, desperate for more friction.

Jack only laughed as he brought his fingers up to your lips, where you could clearly see the fluids that coated his fingers, slick and glistening.

“Come on,” he urged you, a twisted smile on his lips. You felt your face heat up for the—honestly, you lost count by now—time that day as you parted your lips, letting him put his fingers in the warm cavern of your mouth. You sucked on them, tasting your own juices, cleaning your mess off of his digits.

When he retracted them from your mouth, he proceeded to pause once more, seeming analyzing you. You were both curious and ludicrously excited to see what he would want from you next.

“On your knees, darling,” he instructed, and you obeyed without a second thought, swinging your legs over his lap and kneeling down on the floor below him, ignoring the dull ache of your knees against the solid floor.

“Let me ask you again,” Jack repeated his earlier question as he started to undo his pants. “You really think you can handle me?”

You gulped, swallowing the saliva that had pooled in your mouth as you anticipated what was next, nodding nervously.

“Good.” His grin was larger than ever as he pulled his pants down, tugging his boxers off a second later.

Your eyes enlarged impossibly wide at the sight before you.

His cock was a similar colour to the rest of him, albeit a bit darker, though that was the least surprising aspect of it. What truly shocked you, rather, was the sheer size of his erection, standing tall at a length comparable to the size of your own head. Dark, prominent veins ran through the organ, adding to its monstrous appearance. The tip had a glossy sheen to it, wet with what was likely pre-cum.

You stared at the scene before you, your brain stuck on processing the fact that this monstrosity would be going inside of you, unsure how to react.

Jack languidly picked up a strand of your hair, twirling it around his fingers for a second before letting it drop.

“Go on,” he taunted. “Is something wrong?” You could tell he was amused by your reaction; he had clearly expected this to happen. You could only timidly shake your head.

“No,” you mumbled.

“Then what are we waiting for, dear?” Jack chuckled darkly.

With shaking hands, you reached out for Jack’s member, placing one hand on his knee to steady yourself and the other wrapping around his shaft, giving it an experimental stroke before you brought your mouth to the head. Your tongue glided over the tip of his cock, the briny taste of pre-cum melting into your tastebuds.

Jack let out a satisfied sigh, and you took it as a sign to keep going, wrapping your lips around the head of his member, bobbing your head up and down as your hand steadily pumped his cock in matching rhythm.

Your jaw was already tired and aching from the previous ‘sessions’ you had with the other men, but the intimidating girth of his cock filled your entire mouth, making it even more uncomfortable and difficult.

You glanced up at Jack, who was looking down at you with an expression of both intrigue and satisfaction as you continued stroking his length. It wasn’t long before you felt your jaw cramping up, muscles throbbing in discomfort, causing you to stop. You pulled your mouth off of his cock with a wet popping noise, instead choosing to lap at the head while your hands did the rest of the work.

“So weak,” Jack scoffed. “And you thought you could handle me.”

You whimpered, pausing for a second to speak to him.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, though the way his words electrified your entire being far outweighed any part of your feeling bad.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Jack brushed your apology off, instead offering his own solution. “You’ll just have to make up for it when I’m fucking you. After all, I’m sure that dripping wet cunt of yours will be able to handle me.”

You couldn’t help but gasp, his words sending a sharp pang of arousal straight to your gut. He took clear note of your reaction, a smug smile on his face as he spoke.

“You really like when I talk to you like that, don’t you?” Jack asked. “You dumb little whore.”

“Y-Yes,” you squeaked; his words were nothing short of arousing for you.

“Oh, I am going to fuck you stupid,” Jack declared. And honestly—you were more than looking forward to it. “Get back on my lap.”

You got back up to your feet, alleviating your weight from your knees, something that was a relief.

You only realized what would happen as you were about to climb back over his lap, the sudden thought striking you then that you were expected to not just sit on his lap, but also sit on his cock.

As turned on as you were, you still found the size of his cock to be daunting, though as your insides clenched around nothing, you came to the conclusion that you wanted to be filled by that enormous cock of his.

You climbed over his thighs, hands gripping his shoulders to hold yourself up as you let him position you, his hand holding your waist still, the other positioning himself at your entrance before you lowered yourself onto his member.

You felt the tip sink into you, with relative ease due to your wetness, though it wasn’t until the upper part of his shaft had gone in that you started really feeling his girth, your walls forced to stretch to accommodate his size. The sensation quickly went from pleasurable and fulfilling to painful, your cunt resisting as your walls expanded to their limit. You stopped there, taking a second to catch your breath, your eyes watering from the pain and legs trembling.

“I apologize, sweetheart,” Jack said. “But we’re not done yet.”

With both hands on your waist, he forced your hips down to meet his, his cock stabbing through you, only stopping as it slammed against your cervix. You cried out loudly, thrashing against him as both the agony of his cock brutally colliding with your cervix as well as the sharp pains of your insides being strained by the width of his organ flooding your senses.

No matter how much you struggled and wailed, Jack didn’t let go of your hips, holding your lower body still, his cock fully sheathed in your warmth.

Thankfully, he didn’t start fucking you right away, allowing you some time to adjust to the violent penetration, the terrible throbbing gradually fading into a dull, though still painful ache.

As the initial pain subsided, you stopped squirming as much. That was when Jack brought his hand down at your point of connection, his thumb rubbing slow circles around your clit, stimulating the nerves and instantly sending signals of pleasure to your brain. Despite the still-aching throbbing between your legs, you felt your arousal heighten once more. Perhaps the pain was amplifying the pleasure that you felt; you weren’t sure.

All you knew was that you wanted more, your body moving on its own, hips bucking against Jack’s hand for more.

When his hand left your clit to instead take hold of your hips again, you whined in dissatisfaction, but he merely chuckled, before gently giving you a bounce on his cock.

The action elicited a small moan from you, a mixture of both pain and pleasure, which he took as a sign to keep going, moving your hips up and down as you clung onto his shoulders, mewling.

As he continued to lift your hips, pounding away at your insides, your moans slowly filled with more and more delight. Your breaths were heavy while his remained inhumanly calm, though the one thing you shared in common was your animalistic desire for each other, his hips snapping against yours as he viciously fucked into you, ravaging your insides with each thrust.

His cock rubbed against every last inch of your walls, not a singular spot missed, the tip making impact with your g-spot each time he plunged into you, while at the same time his cock had sank so deep into your guts that your pelvis was pressed up right against his, allowing blissful friction against your swollen clit.

His thrusts were growing more violent, though he didn’t seem to tire in the slightest as he handled your body with ease, using you like a ragdoll.

You were bouncing up and down on his cock so fast and so harshly that you could barely distinguish one thrust from the other, Jack pounding away at your cunt, your walls gripping him deliciously as you senselessly moaned.

You were practically seeing stars, body burning up all over, the only sound being the lewd, slick slapping noises of your drenched lips against his skin. The tension building up inside you was too much, your arousal peaking off the charts as he used your dripping cunt, before your clit rubbed against him one too many times and you were shaking, body convulsing, hips spasming as you screamed out his name.

He kept mercilessly fucking you, his cock hammering at your cervix though the pain barely affected you anymore, your muscles tightening around him, squeezing and squeezing before finally your body went limp. You felt a few more thrusts inside you, before he then undoubtedly also had his release, filling you with his seed as your walls loosened around him.

You felt so faint, your mind barely conscious or aware of what was taking place as he lifted you off of his cock, semen instantly flowing out of your used cunt and spilling down your thighs as he placed you down on the bed. Your back was against the soft sheets, your eyes vacantly staring up at the ceiling, completely inanimate save for the occasional twitch of your hips.

You didn’t pay attention to what was happening, didn’t even notice Jack leaving, didn’t even realize the hands that slipped underneath you, one holding your thighs and the other supporting your back, lifting you up into the air.

You couldn’t even tell what was occurring around you, your breaths coming out ragged and uneven, eyes unfocused, body completely limp.

You only regained some awareness back, when Slenderman spoke, his voice intruding into your skull and ringing in your ears.

“Oh dear,” he murmured, his voice filled with false concern. “My little toy seems to have broken.”

He was referring to you. You, his little toy. That was right, you were Slenderman’s little fucktoy. Somehow, the thought of that brought a dazed smile to your face.

“I suppose I’ll just have to make do with what I have,” he stated, the vibrations prickling at your mind. “Though...”

His words trailed off as two of his tentacles moved about, each taking hold of one of your arms. Two more appeared, curling themselves around your thighs, holding up your weight as his hands left your body.

With the four tendrils lifting your weight, you found yourself suspended in midair, practically floating as he brought his hand to your leaking cunt, long, pale fingers parting your swollen lips and inserting themselves in you.

“That cunt of yours is rather loose now, dear.”

You whimpered, the sting of his words only serving to send more heat pooling between your thighs, though you couldn’t do anything to alleviate the need building up inside you, with all your limbs bound and movement restricted.

His thumb brushed against your swollen nub as his fingers curled up inside you, the action making you hiss, the touch being too much for your nerves, overly sensitive from having came so many times. The jolt of discomfort was enough to make you instinctively squirm, though you were still fairly delirious.

“Feeling sensitive, darling?” he questioned, sadistic enjoyment evident in his voice. You mumbled an incoherent ‘yes,’ continuing to attempt to evade his touch, though you were firmly stuck in his place as he toyed with your clit.

“That’s too bad,” Slenderman said, his tone one of fake sympathies. “You’ll just have to suffer a bit for me then, love.”

You barely noticed, too focused on the physical sensations of discomfort when he started unbuttoning his dress pants, pushing them down just enough to take out his cock, which he lazily stroked. You weren’t too sure how big it actually was, but it felt just right when he penetrated you, a fast, singular thrust met with little resistance.

You moaned loudly, the head of his cock rubbing so divinely against your insides, though it quickly turned to strangled sobs as he started moving his hips, each thrust causing your overstimulated clit to smack against his skin. You were wriggling against him, partially shrieking from the feeling of too much as you tried to put some distance between the two of you, to no avail.

The eldritch entity continued to ruthlessly pound away at your abused, worn out cunt, squelching sounds emitting from your loosened and sopping walls.

Somewhere in between the vulgar noises of coitus, you heard a deep, almost disappointed sigh.

“What a shame,” he scoffed. “Your cunt’s worthless. I’ll have to make it tighter.”

You were confused as to what he meant by that, though you were too distracted by how sensitive you were to put much thought into it. It wasn’t until another one of his tendrils reached out, the smooth, glossy black tip poking at your asshole that the realization sunk in.

“Ah—” you gasped. “What— What are you doing—”

Your words were cut off by the sudden intrusion, the tapered tip pushing inside your hole, pain shooting through you as you yelped.

“Wait, don’t—”

Slenderman ignored your protests, the appendage working its way deeper into your guts, the slowly thickening tip gradually yet agonizingly stretching out your asshole.

Your back side hurt, combined with the continuous stimulation of your mistreated clit, the sensations were overwhelming you.

“Stop, stop, it’s too much—” you cried out, once again thrashing your hips, any effort to get away proving fruitless. “Please, I can’t, I can’t—”

You choked out sobs, eyes brimming with fresh tears as the tall man relentlessly violated your insides. You didn’t stop wailing, desperately pleading for him to stop when he raised one last tentacle, and before you knew it, shoved it past your open lips, harshly ramming it down your throat.

Your eyes bulged open as you choked on the appendage, which was completely stuffing your windpipe, effectively muffling any sounds you could’ve made.

You tried to fight, twisting and turning your body, though you were far too tired and too worn out to even resist for long, eventually simply letting your body slacken, your head slowly growing lighter from the lack of oxygen.

It felt as if you were on the verge of passing out—you likely were—when your vision started blurring, your consciousness threatening to slip away. You didn’t bother trying to hold on, merely surrendering yourself, giving up as your holes continued to be used, Slenderman’s dick thrusting in just before the tentacle pulled out, the appendage and his cock simultaneously rubbing against one another with your walls serving as a divider.

Dark dots began spotting your vision, all your holes stuffed, your clit still being hammered away at, each sensation combining with another, to the point where you couldn’t tell them apart. All you knew was that you were being impaled, your body being used as a toy for this eldritch entity, the pain fading into a plain feeling of fullness.

You closed your eyes, but though you felt like you weren’t actively doing so, you could feel your innards constrict, tightening and spasming as bliss overtook you. It was oddly euphoric, allowing the darkness to take you away, your body continuing to writhe as you orgasmed one final time.

You could feel the monster still, save for his cock, twitching lovingly inside your cunt as he, too, reached his peak, releasing and filling your womb with cum.

Something was removed from your throat, and you felt your body’s survival mechanisms kick in, your eyes suddenly snapping open, your lungs burning as you gasped and wheezed, trying to take in much needed air.

When you finally recovered, your chest still desperately heaving with each breath, you noticed that you were back on the bed, the eldritch entity sitting next to your laying down form.

Though he had no facial features, you could still feel him gaze down at you, his hand tenderly stroking your hair, mangled and matted with sweat.

“My love,” he whispered, his voice the softest you had ever heard it. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

Feverish and faint, you no longer had the energy to meet where his eyes would be, so you simply closed them again, deliriously nodding your head to no one in particular.

“Yes,” you answered.

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gamerwithamonocle · 2 years

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Cool Hades 2 Character Design Thing!

First off, new god art looks amazing! I am so excited to see a some of the ones that didn’t make it into the last game appear here! Now onto a cool thing about Moros’ character design I noticed and how it’s probably tied into the game’s themes!

He’s got little references to his sisters, the Fates, in his design. (and also to the Fate aesthetic as a whole I guess.) Moros is one of Nyx’s many kids along with the Fates, Thanatos, Hypnos, Charon, Nemesis... ect. However, he and the Fates are a little more closely associated with each other than he is with his other siblings.

His little sash had three symbols on it that resemble (left to right) a spool of thread, ye old scissors/shears, and a spindle. These match the Fate sisters’ roles as Spinner (spindle for a spinning wheel), Allotter (determines how much thread of life goes into each person’s spool), and Upturning (or the one that cuts the thread).

His sword also appears to be made to look like a sewing needle to complete the whole Fate family sewing aesthetic. Moros himself is the Fates’ older brother and is associated with impeding doom and generally bad times destinies, being the one who kinda leads people to them. SO it makes sense that he would have a needle to guide people’s strings.

Also he’s standing next to what I assume is this game’s Fated List of Minor Prophecies, which was written by the Fates for Zagreus in the first game, as well as what’s probably a scrying pool. Maybe he has missions like killing a certain type of enemy however many times given his domain?

I think it’s really cool that in a game where Kronos, Titan of Time, is the main big bad has all these gods whose domain revolve around prophecies, fate, and inevitability gunning against him is hilarious given he got screwed by fate before. I mean, Apollo god of prophecy and oracles is also here. Honestly, this is just a great cast for a game genre that’s all about running through RNG floors in endless loops. I’m so excited!

#Hades #Hades 2 #Supergiant Games #Greek Mythology #he looks so cool!#Moros

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supermaks · 6 months

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I totally understand why like and people change I’m not hating promise etc but seeing the way lewis treats Ollie with the generational knowledge inside of my body of how lewis decided 17yo max was his enemy and needed to be taught a lesson makes me totally insane 😭😭😭😭😭😭 even everyone this weekend is treating ollie like he’s a little baby (he is 🥹) but like max was also a baby and people were calling for max’s head race one 😭

hundred percent get how u feel bro same. Lil bear does not represent what Max represented when he got into the car tho there is no sense of impending doom wid Ollie. Bro is talented exceeded a lot of expectations held his own nobody can say otherwise but he is not somebody who has been foretold fjkjdd. Like hes not coming from the depths of darkness ((nation that is not England or Italy)) to challenge established, up until then, pretty untouchable veterans, and wid a certain . unapologetic flare 😭 Also I'm not sure Lewis is the same person, and he doesnt have the same car, the grid isnt the same, the media definitely isnt the same, the pecking 0rder isnt the same, f1 itself feels like a completely different sport than it was in 2020 let alone when Max came in. Ollie's dad did not come across the way Max's dad does either. Its crazy because Lewis went thru a similar loneliness when he debuted partly due to his talent partly due to how there had never been someone who looked like him in such a white classist space. He was subjected to a type of scrutiny that Max will never experience. And then also u have peak german biter Seb vettel u cud say wasnt 'babied' at all either and then sharl in 2019 like if the threat is substantial the fantasy kinda breaks and the 'rookie' becomes fair game. So its just super different situations wid a lot of heavy context that is interesting to compare. Ollie's teammate cud be in the same position as soon as next year ((unless our fucking pookie.com takes his seat)) and depending on where he finishes this year, and I think so far hes been doing amazing, he'll be welcomed wid relief because 9 years later that 'impeding doom' still dooming and impeding lmfao

#ask #'''girl''' who is supposed to be resting #long post #max verstappen

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skkfujoshi · 2 months

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I require this scene like I need air to breathe

When we finally get to the Port Mafia transfer I want a scene of the Agency members just…waiting to be told who it is.

Kyoka curled in on the couch in dread ,grasping onto the side of it knuckles going white from how hard she’s holding it.

Atsushi close by her,just barely touching her shoulder as all he can do is hug his own knees and look around at his colleagues.

Junichiro sitting arms crossed and expression tight,with Naomi clinging to him as she looks down to the floor.

Kenji sitting on the floor,legs crossed as he picks at an imaginary stray thread on his clothes,unable to to stop as one of his legs from going up and down from nerves.

Yosano and Ranpo sitting at the table across from one another,holding the other’s hand tightly as she drinks wine and he slowly chews candy.

Kunikida burying his face in his hands as he sits at his desk not knowing what else to do.

Dazai,leaning against the wall,away from everyone and keeping his eyes on the clock cause he can’t watch all of it.

Fukuzawa sitting in his office,having stared at the same cup of tea for the past two hours.

All of them just having this overwhelming sense of impeding doom and knowing they can do nothing about it.

#bsd #bsd dazai #bsd atsushi #bsd yosano #bsd ranpo #bsd kunikida #bsd kyouka #bsd kenji

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rin-and-jade · 3 months

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Damn it, Back to Square One: A Post about Skill Regression

It's like how that one time you had an interest to practice a cool trick for impressing people, and you're fully committed until it was pulled off perfectly, only to be performed once before its forgotten for a good while.. Yet, when you thought of going back to that well-practiced trick, it barely replicated the results that was from the previous attempt.

How? You perfectly knew how to do it inside your mind, but your hands failed to perform otherwise. Which means being forgetful wasn't the culprit, but to how our brains store these learnt skills--or behaviors. This is an example of skill regression, let's learn more!

TLDR fast pass: AVAILABLE

What was that?!

That setback? - oh, not to shock you with it being a real thing, here's the general definition of it:

"A phenomenon which entails gradual or abrupt loss of previously acquired skills." - PubMed Central

Yikes, um, nevermind. That DOES sound like a shocking problem... but yes, to put it simply, this regression can be regular or abrupt depending on the circumstances that triggers it. Skill regression also can manifest as temporary or permanent loss of any skills, too.

By the way, everyone can experience this type of regression, though for those who are neurodivergent,, they actually risk skill regressing 5x more than a normal person would, double freaking out right now? Save your screams, i haven't said it is doom's day with no cure.

Then why,, why?

im not telling. Just kidding,,

Here's where thing's get complicated.. There's two common neurodivergence, and those two divergence have fully different reasons why a skill regression was triggered. Isn't this wonderful--you're going to read longer than you'd expect now. (Ha! But knowledge is power.) I'll attempt to keep it as concise though;

Those with ADHD, this is why you got setback:

Stress - it can impede how well you perform or think, causing a temporary regression. Tasks that are usually effortless now takes double the amount of effort to achieve the same result.

Unfamiliarity - You might've practiced singing in your own personal home, the unique atmosphere, and audience who resides in that abode feels like a default setting due to exposure and repetition. So, if you were to do it outside in public, or a stage, the sense of anxiety and zero preparation in a different setting causes your brain to simply.. short circuit. It's temporary though.

Executive Dysfunction - because of how it impairs many other processes such as planning, action, memory, and focus,, these impairments can severely impact how you apply the learnt skills to reality. This is a comorbid-related default reason for regression.

Those with Autism, this is why you got setback:

Overstimulation - sensory disruptions and overwhelm can cause an imbalance in cognitive function, it's like how a computer lags from the sheer amount of information and causing all necessary operations to a halt. This is temporary, upon retreating from stressor.

Unpredictability - routine and stability is where people with ASD function at peak, obstacles that got caught up in the way breaks this flow of mind, as if a train had derailed from it's tracks. Depending on if it is solvable or not, it can be temporary or permanent regression.

Inconsistency - Skills need to be practiced, and often require repetition to further ingrain it. Without it, you would have difficulty applying to different contexts or even worse, fail to create a solid neural pathway and decayed. It can vary from temporary or permanent regression.

Other conditions that cause skill regression:

Neurogenerative diseases such as Alzheimer or Parkinson

Brain damage

Psychological disorders such as depression, OCD, Schizophrenia

Nutrient deficiencies that impact brain function

Withdrawal side effects

Stress

The issue complicates even further when you have other conditions, and/or have ADHD and Autism at the same time. This causes higher chances of overlapping and potential stressors that triggers the regression.

How is this system related?

I promise this post is also related to systemhood, but the basics on this phenomenon still has to be taught so you and i are on the same page. This has been sufficient, so let's finally get to the point of this post!

Right, this is where the questions start flooding, "why do alters have different proficiency?" "why are some unaffected, yet others are susceptible?", and other kinds. Let me go straight to the point.

Alters retain different memories, and they don't get to choose what they remember. These memories can be explicit or implicit information:

Implicit - Where actions are unconsciously adapted and performed, needing no conscious awareness or effort. Automatic. E.g. riding a bike, writing, holding cutlery.

Explicit - Where actions require active recall and thinking in order to be performed. Manual. E.g. math multiplication, reading comprehension, speaking (needs vocabulary)

Skill regression can impact two main aspects such as:

Your social skills - how you pronounce, how to start speaking, or how you use the words, or stay engaged in a conversation

Your motor skills - how you do independent actions, how well is your rough and soft skills, or muscle memory

And sometimes, you can have both skills impacted

Which means.. what the part remembers, can also impact different kinds of regression it will be susceptible too. For those who have shared skills but cannot perform as good, or at all, compared to the proficient alter, this regression is natural due to the dissociative element.

Something feels wrong..

What was that? You just had a realization which unintentionally causes you to function worser than ever without the skills returning?

It seems like you learnt to do things when masking. It basically means when you are used to living in a tight little box, and finally got out of it,, it is more difficult to fit in there again which conveys the strain in upkeeping the skills you had learnt previously.

The purpose of masking is to function on a daily basis to avoid conflict or negative experiences,, it can be as simple as conforming to the norm of "eye contact when talking" or alternatively it is how you cope while being unaware of your condition (such as baring uncomfortable textures, thinking everyone feels that way)

Problem here is, because it feels wrong/unaddressed yet it keeps you going, it will take more energy the longer you upkeep these skills in a masked state as the core issue wasn't tackled. This will slowly bring you to a burnout. So when you realize that this isn't the norm, your mind just drops everything on the ground in relief as its silently detrimental to your health, no matter how convinced you it is helpful.

This is a permanent skill regression caused by any kinds of exhaustion.

Things won't go back to normal?!

Sadly... no. Good news is, you can always build a new framework!

Though, you will be immediately greeted with a problem: hypersensitivity.

After realizing and being aware of the situation, the accumulated stress, and any other factors that comes into play,, being overwhelmed would happen in a daily basis when left unaddressed, so make sure to minimize the sensory/emotional stressors and pay attention to any heightened senses. Also incorporate regulation tools, since if emotions were suppressed when masking, unmasking means releasing these pent-up feelings, making emotions more intense than usual.

Burnout is not normal exhaustion too, so refrain from overexerting yourself and implement lots and lots of rest.

From here on, it will be easier to re-learn everything from the start, and specifically in ways that accommodates your needs. It takes plenty of time in order to see results, if you need any help in this aspect, you are always free to reach out to me or search for any resources regarding this.

Another reminder for yourself, this type of skill regression also cause other symptoms such as trouble focusing, poor memory, and overall difficulty in doing regular tasks as it feels taxing.

Last notes

Okay my bad, you must've expected that alters are involved with skill regression due to CDD's--but apparently, it is closer to neurodivergent experiences that manifested in systemhood.

What are your thoughts on this? I was surprised myself, were you too? Let me know what's interesting in this post so far, and other questions you might have!

- j

TLDR

What is Skill Regression?

Skill regression is the loss of previously acquired skills, either temporarily or permanently.

More common in neurodivergent individuals (e.g., ADHD, autism).

Causes of Skill Regression:

ADHD:

Stress: Impairs performance.

Unfamiliarity: New settings cause anxiety.

Executive Dysfunction: Affects planning and memory.

Autism:

Overstimulation: Sensory overload disrupts function.

Unpredictability: Routine disruptions cause setbacks.

Inconsistency: Lack of practice leads to skill decay.

Other Conditions That Cause Skill Regression:

Neurodegenerative diseases (Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s)

Brain damage

Psychological disorders (depression, OCD, schizophrenia)

Nutrient deficiencies

Withdrawal side effects

Stress

Skill Regression in Systems:

Alters may have different skill levels due to varied memories and experiences.

Dissociative elements can naturally cause skill regression.

Addressing Skill Regression:

Build new frameworks tailored to your needs.

Minimize stressors and incorporate regulation tools.

Ensure plenty of rest to avoid burnout.

Skill regression is more correlated to neurodivergence which in return affects system experiences, rather than where being a system causes skill regression.

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #plural #system stuff #jeducates

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leonhardt-simp · 11 months

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Nightmares.

[werewolf au]|Angst & Fluff|Scenario

— werewolf! ymir x f! reader

summary: Sometimes nightmares happen and when they do, you’re glad you have Ymir to come comfort you.

author’s note: Some well needed fluff after not posting for practically a year. Happy that Ymir finally gets a werewolf au fic? :) 🍧

“Fuck!” You whisper-yelled, hiding behind the kitchen counter.

The thuds were loud, hearing the monstrous snarl of a beast that had no place within your home. You were terrified.

Your heart raced in your chest as if searched for you, holding your bloody arm from the wound it managed to land on you. You looked around frantically, trying to desperately look for something that could be of use to defend yourself…

That’s when you heard it again. A loud crash of furniture that slammed into a wall, hearing the wood chips break away and fall to the ground with a loud bang. You closed your eyes tight, starting to hyperventilate from the impeding doom. You felt powerless. You were prey and this predator was hunting you. It could smell your metallic scent from the blood gushing from your arm. Everything sense felt heightening.

Your ears picked up every little sound, every thud and scratch. You could feel how wet your sleeve felt as it clung to your skin from the blood soaking through. It felt like a wet weighted blanket keeping you stuck in place with how it shackled you down to the wooden floors of your once shared kitchen.

Your body shook with anxiety and fear, hand clenching onto your wound as if that would prevent what was going to happen…

And then suddenly, the sounds of nails tapped across the wooden floors stopped. Tension halting for a brief second while you opened your eyes. You took a quick panicked glance from behind the kitchen counter, breath heavily and head light with adrenaline.

With a cautious eye, you took in every detail of the kitchen. It was quiet…

Then you felt your body tense and your heart and stomach drop.

“Grrr…”

The throaty growl and snarl sounded above you, making your head abruptly snap up to meet the beast that stood crawled over the counter. Teeth were bared and bloody, a gauntly beast with eyes of malice and hunger.

Then it attacked. You swore you could feel the hefty weight of the beast and its claws digging into your body. Your eyes widening at the mouth that immediately opened to attack at your face.

…

“Y/N!” Ymir suddenly shook you awake. Your eyes snapped open and you sat up quick, holding your neck and struggling to breathe. You felt a phantom pain there somehow… Your heart racing a million miles per hour.

“It’s okay, baby. Just breathe.” Ymir held your face, the warmth of her palms making your nerves seem to try and refocus on the familiarity.

Ymir saw the fear in your eyes, “Baby… Look at me. Focus on me and your breathing.” She instructed. Her thumbs caressed your cheeks and your E/C eyes met with the brown comforting pools of the brunette’s eyes.

Her tone was hushed, sitting up in bed a bit to focus on you and what you needed. She knew you had nightmares from time to time.

They started ever since you started running alongside her. You feared the story of many unfortunate people becoming victim of such hungry beasts. How sometimes people went missing or attacks that were published to the news of “Bear attacks” happening to innocent campers. You knew the truth though. She knew you didn’t fear her but… The others? The ones outside the pack?… Those were ones to fear. A lone wolf was more dangerous than a pack…

and it shook you to the bone to even think of being caught somewhere at the wrong time.

You stared deep at Ymir’s face, taking deep breaths and counting the seconds before Ymir would gently instruct you to release that held breath.

“There we go… Good girl…” Ymir softly spoke, caressing the side of your face again. The touch, now fully processed, made you melt with ease. You held the hand close, nuzzling your face against the palm of it.

Comfort welcomed you into a close embrace, your head resting against Ymir’s chest. “Same dream again…?” Ymir asked, her hand gently stroking through your hair.

You nodded, taking shaky deep breaths to calm your nerves. Your eyes closed and you nuzzled into the freckled wolf’s embrace.

“…I don’t know… Maybe, I’m just being… Paranoid…?” You softly spoke, tone filled with a shaky break. You were both exhausted emotionally and mentally, having dreams like that often took a lot out of you.

Ymir could see that. She knew you too well.

“You have every reason to be cautious, Y/N...” Ymir quietly reassured. You felt a hand gently grab ahold of yours, a quiet caress of Ymir’s thumb making you ease down.

Ymir gently held your hand with her other arm around your shoulders. Instinctively, you laid your head on her chest. The irregular heartbeat providing a sense of relief at the fact that it was all just a dream.

“I wouldn’t let anyone of those stray punks lay a hand on you though...” The mere idea of Ymir even letting a lone wolf get close to you slightly boiled her blood. “Not in a million years.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair and down the back of her neck.

You looked up at her with a softened gaze, your hand soon reaching up to cup the side of her face. Her eyes closed habitually, her face leaning into that touch like a touch-starved puppy.

“I promise… You’re safe.” Her voice was quiet and her eyes opened to look deeply into your own. You knew Ymir. You knew her way too well. She always promised and kept promises… So, hearing her promise this… You calmed down.

“I know…” You softly exhaled. Those shakes were gone and you felt like a weight was lifted. The scary thoughts were put back in their box for now.

The both of you got settled back in a snuggled with your limbs intermingled, your head on her chest with a hand slipped underneath her shirt to feel that comforting warmth. “I love you, Ymir…” You hummed, feeling all those nerves from earlier blow away with the sound of your room fan blowing and the warmth of Ymir’s tanned skin beneath your fingertips.

However, Ymir was already snoring away with her head tilted back on your shared pillows. The little noise shocked you and made you look up at her with a surprised glance, soon letting out a little breathy laugh once you realized.

You couldn’t blame her. Your tossing and turning probably kept her up late with worry. You knew she loved you though. No one else held you close or looked at you with all the love in the world like she did.

With a little kiss to the sleeping girl’s face, you got back into your spot nestled into her side and closed your eyes letting yourself drift away and get that much needed rest.

#ymir snk #ymir x reader #ymir aot #aot scenarios #aot imagines #aot fic

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funnyifwebothgotitwrong · 11 months

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Oh oh oh oh oh oh something just hit me like a ton of bricks so that I just sat straight up in bed. (I'm not usually up at the time I started writing this.) Bear with me please:

Ed's & Stede's relationship in episodes 2x06 and 2x07 is now at THE SAME kind of crossroads that Ed's & Izzy's relationship was in 1x03 and 1x04.

Let me explain.

Last year I read a wonderful tumblr post that detailed how Ed & Izzy's relationship in the first two episodes we see them in is like that of an old married couple. In the sense that they suffer a break down in communication, that is apparently typical for people who have known each other very well for a very long time. The gist of it was that they basically think they know what the other person is going on about, don't really listen, and thus always talk at cross-purposes.

Now let's have a look at where they were in episodes 1x02 and 1x03: we know that they have pirated together for more than 20 years. We don't know how much of that time was as Captain and First Mate, but even before that they must have lived on the same small ship and worked together. They really do know each other well, and most likely intimately (again, sailing ships are not that big, chances are that Izzy had a front row seat to Ed's "sexual dalliances" with Calico Jack or any other, and vice versa, not to mention any other stuff that might have been going on in their lives.) But some time ago, we don't know how long - could be a couple of months, could be a few years - Ed started to get bored and frustrated, while Izzy stayed content. And here is where the communication started to deteriorate. Because Izzy doesn't get Ed anymore, for him it looks as if he has become erratic and unpredictable, which in turn frustrates him. And while Ed tries to convey to Izzy what he feels, we know from 1x03 that he does not do that in the clearest of terms. Probably because he had to figure it out for himself first, it's not that easy identifying vague feelings of discontent in yourself and locating their source, especially 150 years before psychology was even invented.

Now the two most important conversations between Ed and Izzy, that basically spell out for us, the audience, what is going on between them, are the one about the clouds (to which we only get the cypher key toward the end of the episode) and the one where Ed finds Stede's model ship of the Revenge.

Izzy: "Now we really should discuss a plan of action--" (to avoid being captured by the Spanish.)

Ed: "Izzy Izzy Izzy come look. Those clouds. Do they look like Frankfurters to you?" (I don't think you have to worry, a fog seems to be coming on.)

Izzy: "They look like clouds, boss. Can we just focus on--" (What the fuck are you on about? I'm trying to talk to you about the impeding doom of the ship! This is important and you are going on about one of your weird fancies!)

Ed: "Yes, they look like clouds, because they are indeed clouds. But if you just put some fucking imagination into it, man!" (For fucks sake Izzy, I'm trying to get you to think! The solution for our problem is right there!)

Izzy: "I suppose they look like sausages." (Fine, I'll play along. Maybe then we can finally talk about the important stuff?)

Ed: "Frankfurters. Yes, exactly. It's like pulling teeth with you sometimes, man." (ARE YOU GETTING IT NOW, MAN?!? I am already working on the solution to your problem, and if you just fucking listen to me and think about what I am telling you, you would see it, too! Why do you always have to make it so difficult?)

This is not a conversation about their own relationship and general situation in life, but it demonstrates clearly what goes wrong in their communication. Izzy thinks Ed is just being weird again and doesn't care about what Izzy thinks is a big problem for all of them. Ed is perfectly aware of the problem, but tries to get Izzy to see the solution he is working on for himself, rather than telling him outright, and is frustrated when Izzy makes no effort to do so. And it is implied that for a while now, all of their conversations are going down that way. They don't understand each other (anymore).

The next one really goes down to the bones of the problem, though.

Ed is excited by the display cabinet he finds and tries to show Izzy. Izzy is still frustrated because Ed doesn't seem to care that they've got a problem. So Izzy keeps talking at him about a plan while Ed already has one in the works and would rather focus on this fascinating new kind of pirate they have discovered; finally, something that isn't boring! And then Ed actually becomes pretty clear for once: "We always need a fucking plan, alright! And then what, then we fucking execute the plan, and then we get another plan, then what do we do? We execute that, and so on, and so on, and so on, and again, and again, and again, IT'S ALL SO FUCKING BORING! I'm bored out of my skull man, is this all there is? I shouldn't be bored, I'm fucking Blackbeard!" Now Ed could hardly have been more honest about his feelings, but Izzy is still stuck in their rut, Ed is being weird again, so yeah, great, he's bored, but why does that mean all the work has come down to him? He only thinks about their current situation, he believes Ed's feelings are temporary, he doesn't realise Ed is talking about their whole lives. That he has been feeling this way for a long time, that that is what makes him "weird" or "erratic". Because Izzy doesn't feel that way. Izzy is fine with their way of life. And he can't imagine why Ed would feel any different. But they still have this problem that Ed is refusing to discuss with him. And then Ed starts talking about dying to end the boredom, and that is when Izzy gets completely lost. ("Yeah, cause that makes sense"). Again, he is frustrated, because he doesn't understand what is going on with Ed. He didn't used to be like that™.

Now it is unclear if Ed at this point has just started formulating the next plan in his head, the one where he fakes his death to escape the boring life of invincible Blackbeard, or if his affinity for suicidal ideation that we see in season 2 is already at play here, too. Maybe a mix of both. But either way, Izzy doesn't get it (yet), and he doesn't understand why Ed doesn't seem to get him, as well. Izzy wasn't the one who changed!

We, the audience, later receive a lot more information by way of Ed's first conversation with Stede, where Ed expresses himself clearer and freer than he ever could with Izzy. He's bored, because nothing is a challenge anymore; he's frustrated, because he's stuck in this line of work that bores him; and on top of that he finds the whole cult around the persona of Blackbeard rather ridiculous. ("Nine guns???")

In a later episode, when Izzy is so frustrated with Ed's "erratic" behavior that he wants to leave, we experience a moment of how clear communication could look between them. Ed finally tells Izzy about his plan to fake his death, kill Stede and take his identity. But he only does that because he wants to appease Izzy and stop him from leaving, and the fact that he already has genuine feelings of affection for Stede is not mentioned. (Maybe because Ed himself isn't even sure about it yet?) And Izzy is too blinded by the opportunity of becoming Captain himself to think more deeply about Ed's wish to retire. He most likely thinks Ed does this because he was presented with the unlikely opportunity to bow out of the job on a high without having to die or being hunted for the rest of his life, so why wouldn't he take it? He doesn't connect it with Ed's boredom, still doesn't realise that Ed's decision also comes from a longing that he has already harbored for a long time.

Which is why, when Ed realises his feelings for Stede and starts looking for other ways to change his life, Izzy is again at a loss and just defaults to the easiest explanation: he blames Stede. Stede must have changed Ed, Stede must be responsible that Ed suddenly doesn't want to continue their old, familiar life as The Dread Pyrate Blackbeard and his first mate, or at least change it to the retired pirate Blackbeard and his successor, Captain Hands. And then he makes his first really big mistake: he forces Ed to choose, thinking their shared history together makes him safe.

This is how their story escalates, and we all know where they ended up. Betrayals, threats, mutilation, shooting at each other. The fact they are able to stay on the same ship together is a minor miracle. They have history, they have love, but they are done with each other.*

Now, Ed & Stede.

When Stede and Ed meet, Stede dreams of being a successful and famous pirate, but isn't really good at becoming one, to put it mildly. Ed, at the same time, is a very successful and famous pirate, but doesn't want to do that anymore. That's them at the very beginning of their relationship, so anyone who didn't see the current blow-up between them coming, hadn't been paying attention.

Now at first that doesn't really matter. Ed teaches Stede about pirating, Stede teaches Ed about life as an aristocrat, where he can have beautiful things and enjoy life without having to rob and kill. Their differences at that stage actually give the other the very thing they so desperately need. And they start to change, but at first that change just moves them even closer together - Stede becomes a better pirate without having to give up his fancies and the luxuries on his ship, and Ed gets to enjoy said luxuries and the rather peaceful and comfortable life Stede and his crew live on the revenge, while still being basically the great pirate Blackbeard.

But the first time this causes friction in their relationship is also in season 1. After Izzy's betrayal and the Act of Grace, we see Ed contentedly giving in to their new situation, shaving off the beard that was quite literally his trademark, folding stuff; and, after Stede reciprocated his love, looking forward to run away with him to lead a peaceful, private life in China. But Stede is disturbed by all these changes, because Ed is giving up what he himself so desperately wants. Just like Izzy, Stede doesn't really understand it. Why would Ed do that? Just for him? He might have understood that Blackbeard was bored and frustrated before, with the monotony his life had become, but they'd changed that, right? They were pirates together, that's not boring or frustrating, right?

Which is why it is so easy for Chauncey - about who, we have to assume, Stede still hasn't told Ed - to use it to feed Stede's own insecurities - Stede will never be a great pirate, and now he has even ruined someone who was a great pirate.

Again, we all know where that ended - Stede going back to his family out of a feeling of guilt, and Ed going back to pirating - how could he run off to China without Stede now - because that is the only option he has. And boy, does he turn it up to 11. Talk about putting your feelings into your work.

But then they reunite, they talk, they come back together and even finally spend what I think we all imagine as a very emotional, romantic night together, albeit with some other messy stuff in the mix.

Only the elephant in the room is still there.

And in 2x06 it starts to get interesting, because Ed tries to tell Stede.

Telling the kids that they are not pirates but own an inn together, that is Ed trying to let Stede know that that is what he wants. I want to own an inn with you, lead a peaceful life, not being pirates anymore. But Stede doesn't pick up on that. He just assumes Ed came up with that on the spot to be a better example for the kids, no more, and he "plays along".

Then Ed tries again at the beginning of 2x07.

Ed: "How about we just avoid all near death situations?" ("I don't want us to be pirates who are in danger all the time!")

Stede: "Nice idea. Not bloody likely in our line of work." ("Aw, it would be a great world if you could be a pirate and not be in danger all the time. But we both know that's not the case, we both know we are pirates, and pirates are in danger. So alas, we are going to be in danger all the time.")

Stede is happy. He is finally where he wanted to be. He's become a great pirate (or is at least well on his way), and he is with his love. And in his bliss he doesn't really listen to Ed when he tries to let him know that he wants something different. Why would anyone want to change something that is so perfect?

Just like Izzy, back then.

So, as I said, the blow-up had been coming a long time; and it actually went tamer than I feared. Ed not feeling understood (because he isn't) and running off to become a fisherman, Stede probably feeling like he had a bucket of ice water dumped over his head, unable to assemble the puzzle pieces of what he had missed due to pure shock, and both being upset and angry with each other. Ed's "why don't we stop now, before we say anything we can't take back" is surprisingly healthy, while Stede having to shout "you're a coward" after him anyway makes me want to shake him like a rattle. But we know where Ed is, he hasn't dropped off the face of the earth, they can come back together and continue their conversation after some thought and introspection, having realised that there was something they should have talked about a lot sooner and maybe trying to see where the other man is coming from.

I think part of the solution will arise from what happens in the last minutes of 2x07, when Stede's pirate fantasy starts crashing down around him - similar to how Ed's fantasy of aristocratic society in 1x05 first gave him a high and then crashed as well. Stede needs to get it out of his system, but ultimately, being a pirate is not who he is. He was able to grow and change, to become a better pirate, a better Captain, but he has to realise that he doesn't have to become more manly, less sensitive, or give up the beautiful things he loves, and that Ed loves him exactly as he is. That piracy is a fantasy, one that Ed lived and knows the worst parts of its reality, that he doesn't want anymore and that Stede wouldn't want either, once he fully experienced it. And he needs to understand what Olu told him in 1x01 - that piracy is something different when you never had another choice. Because Ed never had another choice. But Stede could give him one. After all, they have always been happiest together when they met in the middle, and they can have that - away from Stede's aristocratic life, away from Ed's piracy.

At least, that's what I am hoping for them (and, well, I trust David Jenkins, so yeah**).

So Ed's & Izzy's long term relationship broke apart because Ed wanted to retire and Izzy, who couldn't imagine being anything other than a pirate, didn't understand or support him.

And Ed's & Stede's new love is in danger because Ed still wants to retire, and Stede, who loves being a pirate and can't imagine why anyone wouldn't, didn't understand him... But maybe he will?

"He is a complicated man."

Yes. And hopefully one of you succeeds in figuring him out and give him what he needs, where the other one failed.

*= oddly enough, the violent destruction of Izzy's mental image of "Blackbeard", that we witnessed partly during the first 3 episodes of season 2, could be the very thing he needed to finally see the person "his" Blackbeard turned into while he wasn't looking. He might finally come to be able to understand Ed.

**= honestly? I think that is what Izzy's journey about learning to care for the crew and being accepted by them is all about. And he is not only training Stede to be a Captain, he is also learning from him. How to be more sensitive, more supportive, Stede's "people-positive management style". Because once Ed & Stede fake their deaths and retire to the countryside to open an inn, Izzy will have another go at being a Captain - this time one that his crew will not be trying to throw overboard after what accumulated to basically 5 minutes of his reign.

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tagthetrekkie · 8 months

Text

Pairing: Ensign Vorik x reader

Warning: injuries, slight gore, death, bad space horror, some plot holes for the sake of the story

Synopsis: As the Voyager's crew explore an planet in search of Dilithium, they stumble upon an abnormal discovery that leaves them startled.

Damn this blogs making me falling in love with pointy ears aliens (@deepspacedukat)

@emotional-fandom-soup asked to be tagged

Beyond the Stars

I shifted my upper body forward, attempting to regain composure. My mind seemed hazy, impeding my concentration on the world around me.

What the hell were these things?

As I glanced around, my mind raced to come up with a solution, any solution, that could get me from this impasse. The eerie ambiance of the dark forest enveloped me, with only the colossal trees and the swirling mist as my companions. However, there was no trace of my crew members, leaving me feeling isolated and uncertain of what lay ahead.

In an attempt to regain command over my thoughts, I inhaled deeply, only to have my concentration shattered by approaching moans.

Oh shit

Without the luxury of planning, I hastily fled from the noise, scanning my surroundings in hopes of spotting a fellow crew member from the away team.

The mysterious beings, of unknown origin, bear a resemblance to a thin, famished entity with pale, blotchy skin tightly covering its bony structure. With its stretched limbs and razor-sharp claws, it effortlessly navigates the thick forests it calls home. Its eyes are rumored to emit an eerie glow or appear empty, mirroring its unquenchable and abnormal appetite.

As the creatures approached, I struggled to hold back a sob. I had left my phase behind and couldn't risk using my badge to call for help from the Voyager and draw attention to myself.

As soon as a crimson figure appeared, my fear of death vanished completely, diverting its focus away from me and giving me the chance to conceal myself beside a tree.

I glanced in the direction where the noise came from, making sure not to draw any unnecessary attention. Although not particularly smart, those creatures appeared to have sharp hearing abilities.

As my rescuer, a lieutenant from the Voyager’s security team, surveyed the situation, he seemed to be contemplating an escape plan, looking back and forth between me and those things.

It hit me like a ton of bricks - the sudden realization that I couldn't simply bail out and retreat to the safety of the shuttle craft. This wasn't just another routine mission; there were lives at stake and a responsibility that I couldn't ignore. As if sensing my unease, I caught a glimpse of the lieutenant making his way towards me, his actions indicating that he had noticed my inner anxiety.

Similar to myself, the two beings observed the motion coming from my fellow crew member and, driven by their animal instincts, they launched an assault on him. In an attempt to evade the creatures' razor-sharp claws, the man fought back, striving to reach his phaser. In moments that felt like an eternity, blood cascaded freely from deep lacerations as bones snapped audibly under the monster's relentless assault. Agonizing screams pierced the night sky but were swiftly silenced amidst guttural growls of satisfaction. The creature's feral hunger seemed insatiable as it devoured parts of its prey before flinging aside what remained like discarded playthings. A gruesome testament to the desolate horrors that dwell within nature's unforgiving embrace, this chilling encounter left no doubt about the true essence of terror embodied by these things. It was an ironic turn of events as my colleague's eyes were fixed on me, their gaze reflecting a desperate cry for help.

My eyes were widened in shock, unable to comprehend the cruel reality unfolding before me. As a chilling fear grips my core, I was being consumed by a torrential wave of grief and horror. The weight of impending doom descends upon me like an iron vice, squeezing out every ounce of hope left in my trembling heart. Sweat trickles down my face as I struggle to maintain composure, knowing that I too would soon meet the same grisly fate. My body trembles with adrenaline and anguish while silent screams echo within me, suffocated by the grim reality that engulfs me. Any semblance of safety now dissipates like mist in the wind, leaving behind only a haunting emptiness that embraces them mercilessly.

I need to get out of that place. Suppressing the urge to gulp, I swallowed my saliva and seized the remaining surge of adrenaline within me. Scanning my surroundings, I swiftly determined the path with the fewest obstacles and sprinted towards it.

I could hear the grunts from those things behind me. Their twisted forms stand out in the moonlit darkness as growls burst through the uncanny silence. With each step, their clawed feet strike the muggy soil, and their insatiable hunger drives them closer to me. My senses are heightened and my breath comes in ragged gasps, echoing my fear and determination. I couldn’t die this way, a colleague gave his life for me to survive. Their shadows danced around me, concealing tricky roots and twisted trunks that threaten to send me onto the ground. My heart pounds relentlessly against my chest, as if it knows I need to outpace the lumbering beasts behind me, I couldn’t or risk becoming their morbid banquet. Every piece of strength is summoned within my frame as I leaps over fallen logs and darts past gnawed carcasses dispersed across the path ahead.

But just as despair threatened to consume me entirely, a glimpse of hope emerged from the shadows. In an electrifying burst of audacity, Vorik boosted fearless into the dispute. A palpable tension filled the air as he faced off against the abominations, his fists clenched tightly with raw resolve.

I observed the scene, alternating my attention between my lover and the bizarre creatures. His concentrated gaze hinted at his contemplation of a rescue plan to extricate us from this troublesome situation. With each skillful movement and calculated strike, he danced with danger in a desperate bid to protect what mattered most to him. Beads of sweat dripped down their furrowed brows as time seemed to slow down; every breath held its own weight.

The abrupt understanding that those things would be the cause of his demise deeply affected me. Despite his superior Vulcan physiology compared to mine, he was unable to resist the ferocity of these monstrous beings. It is unnerving to know that he would sacrifice his life to protect me, much like the brave security officer who met a similar fate.

Perhaps it was the surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins or the overwhelming fear of losing Vorik that obligated me to act with such audacity. In a moment of bitter bravery, I swiftly removed my fleet jacket and threw it towards a tree situated across from our location. Without wasting any time, I tightly grasped Vorik's hand, urging him to run alongside me.

The duration of our run was a mystery to me, as I am unable to recall how long it lasted. However, our sprint came to an abrupt break when my legs finally succumbed to exhaustion, leaving me breathless and drained. Overwhelmed by the suffocating sensation that had plagued me throughout our escape, exhaustion consumed my entire being. Vorik, seemingly aware of my weakened state, swiftly embraced me from behind, providing support as he gently guided me to a seated position on the cold and muddy soil. He was holding me with a tenderness that was unusual for him. His hands gently caressed my temples, as if he was attempting to comfort me.

“How did… How did you find me?”“

“Ashayam, I will always find you”

The soothing sound of his voice provided a momentary recess, yet the constant awareness of the hidden danger on this unfamiliar planet kept my nerves on edge. My gaze darted anxiously in every direction, a sense of fear gripping me. It was only a matter of time before those relentless pursuers would track us down. We had to arrange a strategy to safely return to the ship, ensuring that we could take the dilithium to the Voyager.

“It is of utmost importance that we depart from the planet at the earliest opportunity. Are you able to rise from your current position so that we may locate the remaining members of the away team?”

As I had my realization, my eyes widened just a bit. It dawned on me that while I was busy fretting about escaping from these creatures, I had completely overlooked the fact that they were facing the same perils as I was.

“There is no need to be concerned. We are fully aware of the distress that exist on this planet. It is only natural that you have directed your efforts towards ensuring your own survival.”

Am I that transparent?

“How can we find them? I mean, it seems like this planet isn’t small enough for us to find Harry and Tom.”

“It appears that you failed to observe, Ashayam, that those beings lack the ability to see” He removed his badge and pointed it towards the sky, suggesting that we could use its reflection to indicate our location

I couldn't help but chuckle at his condescending tone, which he seemed to deliver in his own vulcan manner. I gestured with my hands, indicating for him to show us the way to our companions. Hopefully, we could find a way out of that place and make our way back to the ship.

Despite the unexpected tranquility, I made a conscious effort to avoid dwelling on the utter fortune of my survival at this moment. While I have embarked on numerous away missions before, this is the first instance where I genuinely felt my life was in danger, added by the horrifying sight of witnessing merciless creatures whose defeat seemed hopeless.

Attempting to dismiss this thought, I avoid grieving his demise or holding myself responsible; I could accomplish both tasks while remaining secure on the ship.

As I became aware of the unsettling sounds coming from a tree in close proximity, an instinctual response compelled me to prepare myself for a sudden escape. The thought of those alien beings sneaking in the area, ready to launch an assault, sent a chilling sensation down my spine.

Vorik seemed to have observed the shift in my demeanor, as he approached me with a genuine intention to offer solace. Recognizing my need for support, he moved closer, his presence gave off a sense of understanding.

“I believe that the commotion we are hearing is simply a result of our teammates' lack of attentiveness to their surroundings.”

“Although it is difficult for me to admit, your boyfriend is correct, ensign. It’s just us”

A sense of relief washed over me as I let out a deep sigh. In the middle of all the chaos and uncertainty, it was comforting to see that my dear friends were alive and well.

"Paris, it makes me really happy to hear your voice," I expressed, offering a warm smile to both him and Harry.

"I believe we have adequately prepared ourselves for departure, haven't we?” Vorik said, “I assume the dilithium has already been arranged in the shuttle."

"Hold on a moment. What about the lieutenant who came with us?” Harry interrupted, “Where is he?"

As I released a soft whimper, Harry immediately stepped back, displaying a compassionate gesture. He softly muttered words along the lines of 'I apologize' to express his remorse.

"Let's get out of this place, can we?" Tom said, "I really wish I could take a shower and get some sleep."

The possibility of returning to the ship filled me with a glimmer of hope, knowing that we would soon leave this planet behind.

Upon approaching the shuttle, the sound of a familiar grunt resonated in our surroundings. My heart quickened its pace and my senses heightened, leaving me with the task of determining the origin of these noises.

Even though the fear of suffering the same fate as the other officer was overwhelming, I couldn't let panic consume me and expose my friends to such a horrific fate.

"To ensure our escape," Harry murmured, "we need to find a way to get those aliens out of our way, even if only temporarily."

“I noticed that they tend to fight over food” Tom told us “so if there is just one of us to more of one of those things, maybe we could make them kill each other to buy us time to run”

The four of us didn't have enough time to split up and determine who the things would chase after. Vorik appeared to have come to the same understanding, judging by the way he gazed at me.

My heart was pounding so hard that it felt like I couldn't hear my thoughts. The growls were getting closer and we were running out of time.

Moving closer to Vorik, I tenderly touched his cheeks and planted a kiss on his forehead. It dawned on me that this might be our last meeting.

“I love you, darling”

Without wanting to give him much time to think, I swiftly departed, creating as much noise as I could possibly make.

Those things with their stretched limbs and twisted horns moved with an unnatural swiftness. Their eyes burn with a sickly yellow glow, reflecting their insatiable hunger for flesh.

My adrenaline fueled steps faltered for a moment as I glanced over my shoulder, catching a glimpse of those beings closing in. Their mouths drip with saliva, their jagged teeth scintillating in the fading light.

Their haunting cries reverberated through the trees, a chilling chorus that drove me forward. I can almost feel their icy breath on her neck, the sound of their crooked claws scraping against the trunks of trees.

With a burst of adrenaline, I spotted a small cavern up ahead. Hope blossoms as I push myself to reach my destination. It was small enough for those things don’t reach me

But those things, relentless in their pursuit, gather near that cave. Their cries fill the air, growing louder. They scratch at trunks, their claws carving deep grooves into the trees. My heart pounds in my chest as I brace for the inevitable confrontation.

The first one thrusted forward with a primal snarl. Its movements are a twisted combination of agility and brutality, fueled by its thirst for flesh. The second wendigo, equally ghastly, meets the attack head-on, its skeletal horns ready to strike.

They circle each other, snarling and growling, their yellowed teeth snapping in an unsettling symphony. The scent of decay and desperation hangs heavy in the air as they vie for dominance.

With an explosive burst of strength, the first thing manages to latch onto the second, sinking its pointed teeth into its opponent's arm. The injured one yelped in pain and fury, retaliating with a vicious swipe of its claws.

The battle rages on, the beings locked in a gruesome dance of violence and survival. They tear at each other's flesh, chunks of meat falling to the blood stained soil. Their movements are frenetic, a blur of twisted limbs as they relentlessly fight for dominance over.

As the struggle intensifies, the inhuman strength becomes evident. They crash against trees, sending splinters flying, and unleash bone-crushing blows upon one another. Blood mingles with the muddy ground, staining the expanse with shades of crimson, a macabre testament to its ferocious confrontation.

After what feels like an eternity of violence, less injured gain the upper hand. With a final, brutal advance, it delivers a crushing blow to its adversary, sending it to the ground. The victorious one stands tall and lets out a triumphant howl that pierces the silence.

Realizing that, apparently, that the thing would come for me, I did my best to not move. The extent of his pain was likely so severe that he had reached a point where my presence held no significance to him. However, given the terrifying spectacle I had just witnessed, the thought of becoming the next victim was the furthest thing from my desires.

The remaining one seems to settle with the body of the loser, tearing into its torn flesh with fury. The sound of bones cracking fills the air as it indulges in the spoils of its victory, satisfying its ravenous hunger, if only temporarily.

As the feast concludes, the victorious retreats into the darkness, leaving behind a haunting representation of carnage.

As I spotted one silhouette navigating in the treacherous terrain, I got out of the cave. My heart leaps with hope as he silently calls out my name, his voice carried away by the wind.

Vorik held me tightly, his voice filled with love and concern as he reassured her of their safety. He wrapped me in his fleet coat, shielding her from the biting cold

“By Surak. Can you fathom the immense danger that was present in this situation? It is truly alarming to think about the potential harm that could have befallen you.”

His expression was filled with an overwhelming surge of emotions, leaving me with no choice but to gently place his hands on my heart. It was my way of reassuring him that I was alive and in good health.

As they prepare to leave the desolate area, Vorik remains vigilant, knowing that the wendigos still lurk in the shadows. Hand in hand, they navigate the landscape, their steps careful and deliberate. He keeps a watchful eye, ready to shield me from any threat that may arise.

Finally, they emerge from the desolate area, leaving the haunting landscape behind. Seeing Tom and Harry with the shuttle ready to launch, all I could do was sob. Returning to Voyager was a long awaited moment for us, as it could give us the opportunity to confront the profound impact that this planet had on our emotions and inner selves.

#star trek #star trek voyager #ensign vorik #vorik #vorik x reader #ensign vorik x reader

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tragedycoded · 21 hours

Note

Happy STS! How do your characters feel about new technology in the world? Are they happy to embrace it, or more grumpy about it?

Katie hello happy (belated) STS. Thank you for the ask! I got a little carried away and half-heartedly apologize.

So the characters in A Living Machine are in a cyberpunk setting. Neil belongs to a faction that seeks to control the population through subliminal messaging, so his answer is more complicated. New technology generally makes him grumpy, because that's another adjustment the Technocracy has to make to their procedures. Khalid is a Son of Ether who loves new things and is way smarter than I am.

I don't even know how to succinctly explain this thing he was known for inventing as a 10-12 year old. Khalid invented a device that rewires external stimulus to be of use to an individual missing a sense when it comes to navigating an environment; as I'm typing this, I'm realizing it could be useful to individuals who suffer from overstimulation also. I'm sure there is tech like this today--I remember being inspired by an article on Live Science but not what it was LOL.

In Doom Metal Love Story, their tech is like... faster trains, or more efficient flour grinding, or telegrams that let you use more words. Like when Twitter doubled its character count from 140 to 280.

Here's a brief list of tech that came out during the main character's lifetimes:

Electro-magnetic Motor (1830) - had no practical application until the Power Tool was invented.

Revolver (1836) - Sullivan was born in 1835. He and this invention were fated to be together.

Ether Anesthesia (1842) - Hofer's future as a surgeon (he was 7 or 8 when it was invented) depended on this.

Vulcanized Rubber (1843)

Telegraph (1844)

Burglar Alarm (1858) - Royston was around 30, this would have ruined his day.

Repeating Rifle (1860) - I don't think Sergeant Sullivan liked the rate of fire on this weapon compared to the skill level of the average recruit using it.

Barbed Wire (1867) - Another invention that ruined Royston's day.

Pneumatic Subway (1870)

Typewriter (1873)

Hofer, being in the medical field, embraces new technology. He's kind of anachronistic--he basically invents the traction splint out of desperation. (Hugh Owen Thomas invented a splint that was introduced in 1916, so Hofer making one out of rope and riding tack when he can't amputate was way ahead of time.) Anything that would help him complete a surgical procedure with fewer complications, he was onboard with.

If it wasn't for Joseph Lister's antiseptic system, they never would have made it to Fort Cano, because Sullivan would have kept dying of an infection from the compound femur fracture he sustains in the prologue.

Royston is an idiot (joke) who can barely read. He used to have a poor opinion of the Industrial Revolution in general bc he had to work in a glass factory as a child (basically "fuck the last century of progress, I was personally inconvenienced by it") but his memory is a whole thing now. He doesn't care unless it impedes his ability to function (like the burglar alarm LOL that would have made sneaking into places to do a kill way harder.)

Sullivan is the New Shit afficionado. Idk if he likes changing how he does things when new tech emerges but he is at least interested in learning about it. If you were into guns, trains, or communication technology, this was a hell of a time to be alive.

Cutting off this answer before I start yelling about the telephone, which enters the chat in 1876.

#11/10 asks #sts #illarian-rambling #wip: a living machine #doom metal love story

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staycalmandhugaclone · 2 years

Text

If you're new, this all starts with Touch Starved!

Part 2 of Fever.

Febuwhump Day 11

Warnings: TW: symptoms of withdrawal, accidental drug exposure via fungal spores, sense of impeding doom, high fever, vomiting, delirium-induced violence, strangulation, cursing, needles/IV

WC: 5,812 (Don't worry, it's not a cliffhanger ;) )

Wrecker caught up with us about halfway there, and I was too happy to let him take his brother from me, painful gasps just hinting at the taste of iron as I forced myself to keep running. Hunter stayed back to join up with Crosshair, but I knew they’d be mere minutes behind us once we reached the ship.

“Hold on, Wrecker.” I called, racing ahead of him to the medbay. He paused before following after me, watching in silence as I ripped the mattress from my cot and threw it to the ground. “Okay, go ahead and set him down.” I didn’t look at them, focus locked on my own task of rapidly gathering supplies.

“Listen to me: you need to get in the sonic; armor and all. Don’t take anything off until after it goes through a full cycle – alright? Let me know immediately if you start to feel light-headed or confused.” I left no room for argument as I turned my full attention to Wrecker, and I saw the hesitation steal over him.

“Y-Yeah… ‘right.” Before he’d even left, I was kneeling on the floor beside the mattress, already dragging sterilizing wipes over every inch of Tech’s armor and exposed skin, the cot, the wall behind him, and finally over my own armor as well before carefully removing that pale plastoid from his nearly limp body. Only after stashing it and my own in a pressure sealed bin and repeating the thorough cleaning did I tentatively remove my own helmet.

“Tech?” I gently pulled him onto his side as I called his name, hand lingering on his shoulder. That slow, leisurely breathing hesitated. “Tech… sweetie, can you hear me?” His eyes shifted behind closed lids for a long moment before, with visible effort, forcing himself to look at me. “Hey,” I murmured warmly, touch trailing slowly along his arm, “How are you feeling?” His brows dipped together, mind churning over my words.

“S… sleepy? -no…” He waved away his initial response, arm barely shifting with the attempted movement. “M-dis… disor’ntated; th’nk…” His throat bobbed. “Hmm… th’sty?” He looked at me for some confirmation to his theory, as though he couldn’t be sure of even that base need.

“We’re going to keep that helmet on for a few more minutes – until I know for sure that I got you all cleaned up – then we’ll get you something to drink.” His gaze flicked between my eyes and my lips, straining to follow even the gentle cadence of my carefully slowed speech.

“Mm… your… you dn’t…” His hand shifted toward my head, and I shot him a smile.

“That’s how I’ll know.” I explained calmly. The spores were too small to be reliably picked up by the scanner, but I’d sooner risk my own exposure than subjecting him to even more of the terrible substance. He tried to frown, facial muscles twitching uncertainly as though they’d forgotten exactly how to form the expression. “Don’t worry, I’m just being extra careful.” I assured him, and that seemed to be enough to ease his concerns.

“Feels… weird.” He muttered, and I couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle. I vaguely heard Wrecker’s voice rumble through the ship, certain he was warning Hunter against entering the medbay – that there was some contamination.

“I bet.” I shifted to sit beside him on the bed, intentionally keeping that softness in my voice. The spores his body had already absorbed wouldn’t last long in the wake of the medicine I’d given him. With what was to come, I intended to grant him whatever sliver of bliss he could get before the coming crash.

“Like I’m… n’c’poreal.” He shifted to glance wearily at his hand, fingers dancing before him in unhurried movements.

“Really?” I goaded, and gently let my hand trace over his, interlacing his fingers with my own. “Hmm, feel pretty solid to me.” He turned up to me with such awe in his eyes, I wanted to sob.

“Or you’re j’s ‘s sur’r’l as me?” He breathed the question as though it was too great a secret to risk speaking any louder. The Marauder began to come to life around us, quickly taking to the air to carry us from the ruin left in out wake.

“And if I was?” I asked, voice dropping into a whisper to match his, “Would we go floating through the galaxy together? Watch supernovas burst into newborn nebula? Or maybe we could see the flutterwings forming in their cocoons?” His fingers gingerly curled around mine, gaze studying that touch with a profound fascination before looking back to me.

“We c’ld f’llow a p’d of purrg’ls.” He proposed as though he’d just reached a major breakthrough. “Disc’v’r how they… they tr’vel in lightspeed!” His hand tensed with each word, imploring me for some whisper of permission.

“If we were incorporeal,” I tucked closer to him, quiet words flitting through a beaming smile, “You and I could study purrgils and flutterwings and everything in between.” The excitement burning in those wide eyes lingered for mere seconds more before withering, touch pulling away from me.

“B’ if y’ leave…” The emotion choking through the clumsy words tore through me, ripping the air form my lungs in a silent gasp. “… ‘ll be alone.” I tried to take a slow breath, but it shattered hopelessly against my lips, eyes burning beneath the threat of tears.

“Listen to me, Tech,” I was begging him, curling over my knees to slip my hands around his helmet in hopes of drawing his gaze back to mine. “I’m right here. Okay?” The words broke, and I had to fight to steady them, “I’m right here, and I swear: I’m not going to leave you.” His eyes turned pointedly away from me. “I was just scared.” I continued as the first drop slid down my cheek. “I was so scared that I was going to be the reason one of you got hurt… I just want to keep you safe.” Those last words barely managed to escape on a fleeting whisper, but it was enough to pull his eyes back to mine.

“Tha’s illogic’l.” The confusion in his retort ripped a sob of laughter from me. “You h’lp us when we ge’ h’rt.” My eyes slid shut, chin dipping to my chest as I tried to quiet the guilt and regret raging through me.

“You’re right.” I finally managed to sigh, “I think I just got a little confused… but I’m here now, and I’m going to stay for as long as you and your brothers will have me.” He seemed to think over this a moment before nodding.

“S’good.”

In the few minutes we’d been speaking, I hadn’t noticed any beginning traces of confusion or dizziness, granting me some reassurance that there were no lingering threat of exposure.

“I think it’s safe.” I started quietly. “Is it okay if I take your helmet off?” He barely waited for me to finish speaking before nodding, and he tilted his head up expectantly. With the utmost care, I eased it gently from him, smirk twisting over my lips at the disaster of flattened curls lying underneath.

“Dn’t th’nk I like it.” He muttered, and my heart sank, quickly setting his bucket aside to bring my hand up to whisper over his cheek. He melted against the touch, eyes falling shut beneath a deep weariness.

“Don’t like what?” I asked despite being painfully aware of the coming answer.

“F’ls… can’t… c’n’t th’nk.” His breathing steadily quickened, brows just beginning to tense. He looked toward his hand once more with a growing discomfort. “…is… ‘m I… ‘m I fall’ng?”

“No,” I practically cooed the word, bringing my other hand to his face as well, fueled by some shred of hope that he might glean even a whisper of comfort from my presence. “No, Tech. We’re on the Marauder. We’re not falling.” His breath suddenly turned panicked, throat shifting in a failed attempt to swallow.

“Okay, shh, it’s going to be okay.” I murmured quickly, hand shifting to drag slow circles over his back.

“Hm… m-mmm” He shook his head, eyes clenching as the first hints of a tremble began to steal over him. “Are w-we’re crashing.” His hand darted to the mattress in jolted, unsteady movements. “E-Echo… balance r… the r’pulser l’fts…” His hand reached out for the control panel, movement growing more frantic as he passed the distance it should have been. “Wh-where.”

“Tech, I want you to try to listen to me.” I tried to pull his gaze back to mine, but his eyes kept shifting blindly around us. “You were exposed to spores from Rokna blue tree fungus. Do you know what that is?” Something between a grunt and a hum caught in his throat, body tensing beneath a vain attempt to sit up. I quickly shifted behind him, arm looping around his chest to pull him up against me.

“B… blue tr… It’s… mmm… a po-potent narcotic…” The words fell absently from his lips before managing to understand what he’d said, and a terrible stillness stole through him. “M… ‘m I dying?”

“No.” The word burst from me in a sharp whispered. “No-no, Tech, I gave you something to neutralize it. The fact that you’re already coming down means it worked. Okay? Do you understand what that means?” The way he stiffened against me was answer enough, but he still gave a small nod.

“Okay…” I breathed, arms wrapping firmly around him, if only to grant myself some whisper of reassurance. “Listen to me: I’m going to stay right here. Okay? I’m going to be with you the entire time.” His torso hitched; the only warning I had before a violent heave tore through him. I just had time to lean around him to snatch a bin from the pile of supplies I’d dropped at the bedside. His hands clawed uselessly at the sides of the container, body doubling over beneath the force of his convulsing stomach.

A violent shiver nearly ripped him from my hold as the attack finally eased, robbing him of the strength to even hold himself up. Quickly setting aside the bin, I shifted onto my knees to hold him more firmly against me before reaching for a hydropack and bringing it to his lips.

“Don’t swallow – I just want you to rinse your mouth, first, okay?” It took several seconds for him to respond before weakly drawing in some of the liquid. Balancing the pouch on the cot, I moved a fresh bin toward him to spit the fouled water into. “Good.” I murmured gently before returning it to the floor to grab the pouch once more. “Okay, now drink – just a few sips.”

“You sh… you sh’ld leave.” Already, he sounded so painfully weak.

“No, honey…” I murmured, forehead dipping down to gently brush against his hair. “I know this is hard, but you’ll get through it – and I’m going to help you as much as I can. Alright? I’m not leaving you alone.”

“S-symp-ptoms inclu-include… intermi-mittent loss-ss of luc-luc-c-idy…” The pain stealing that gorgeous clarity from his voice broke me with each stammer of those carefully emotionless words. “I c-I could-could… hurt y-you.” Despite the fresh flood of tears I couldn’t begin to fight back, I drew a gentle smile across my lips. Even in the face of the nightmare just beginning to crash down around him, he was worried about me… Leaning around him so I could gently catch his gaze, I stared into eyes resigned to the coming suffering with all the love and heartbreak and patience I could.

“We’re going to be fine, Tech. I promise.” I breathed the words, willing them into him as I shifted the hydrpack closer to him. “Now, I want you try to drink.” The sight of the exhaustion and defeat stealing over him was an agony in its own right, but I offered a relieved smile as he reluctantly forced a few sips of water down his raw throat.

“N-n… sto-stop, please, pl-stop, stop.” He was begging, body rocking listlessly atop the sweat-soaked mattress as I tried desperately to feed the IV into a new vein. He’d managed to rip out the three prior, and still continued hemorrhaging fluids from the merciless fever that had long since rent him into a barely conscious, shivering mess.

“It’s just saline, Tech – I promise; it’s just saline.” I’d already given him what muscle relaxers and fever suppressors I could, but still he shook so violently, twice I’d thought he was seizing. Pinning his wrist against my thigh, I finally managed to slip the needle through too-pale skin. The scream that tore from his lips made my stomach churn, and I had to press the entirety of my weight against the limb to keep him from ripping it away from me before I could secure it beneath a web of tape.

“Don-don’t… I can’t…” Shattered gasps broke between hopeless sobs. “No more… n-no more tests! Please, please.” His arm continued jerking against my hold, but there was no strength to the movements.

“No tests, baby, I promise. Just try to breathe, okay?” I kneeled on the very edge of the cot, nearly hovering over him. As the fever began to build in that first hour, he’d tried once more to convince me to leave, but still I’d refused. After hitting lightspeed, Hunter tried to join me, but I merely shook my head; knowing it wouldn’t be long before Tech would be unable to recognize any of us. I didn’t want him to feel surrounded; outnumbered. On a barely whispered breath, I’d told the Sergeant as much, eager to keep that knowledge from Tech for as long as possible, and none of the others had made any further attempts to enter the medbay since.

Lips hanging open around too-shallow gasps, he tried to roll over, but I quickly reached out to stop him. Before I could breathe a word of warning toward the threat of aspirating, his free arm lashed out, slamming into my chest with enough force to launch me back onto the hard floor with a thud, lungs seizing in a moment of panic as my diaphragm balked. Forcing my body to move, driven by the simple fear that he’d rip the IV out once more, I staggered back to his side on my knees, but he seemed not to notice the thin tubing attached to his hand. Still, I couldn’t leave him on his back.

“Tech,” His name sounded choked as it crawled up my throat. “Honey, I need to move you.” My hand settled gently against his shoulder for a moment. When he didn’t respond, I carefully slipped it around his back and hauled him onto his side once more. He’d been like this for well over an hour, fluttering between incoherent panic and brief lapses into unconsciousness.

Body sinking beneath my own exhaustion, I watched the weariness drag against my movements as I reached for the cloth he’d knocked off in his outburst. I couldn’t count how many times I’d rewet that scrap of fabric to drag atop his balmy skin, but I found myself repeating the motion with the same tenderness as if it were the first; carefully sweeping it over his forehead, down his face and neck, through his hair.

“… Doc?” My eyes darted to his in shock.

“Hey,” I sighed through a gentle smile, “I’m here – I’m right here.” I shifted the cloth through his hair once more.

“Am… f-feels like... I f-fear you mis… miscalculated.” Snips of words tangled against listless lips, exhausted eyes weakly searching for mine. He must have seen my confusion because he forced himself to explain. “I… feels… like I’m dying.” My shoulders sank, chest twisting beneath the agony in his voice.

“I know,” I murmured, bringing my other hand up to whisper against his cheek. “I know, but this will pass, Tech. He weakly managed to shake his head.

“W… where are…”

“Your brothers?” I offered. He hesitated, struggling to make sense of what I’d said before nodding.

“They’re just outside.” I assured him. “Would you like to see them?” He quickly shook his head.

“Not… not l-like this.” The shame in that quiet plea twisted the knife lodged in my chest, and I didn’t want to think of the hurt it must have caused Hunter.

“Tech, this isn’t your fault.” If he heard the quiet whisper, he made no attempt to answer. Moments later, he seized beneath a violent shudder, knees curling into his chest, eyes ground shut.

“P..pl… Maker, it h-hurts…” Teeth catching at the inside of my cheek, I drew in a carefully slowed breath.

“I know.” Resting the cloth atop his neck, I gently carded my fingers through his hair. “I know, Tech, I’m s”

“Please… ca-can you…” His jaw shifted silently a moment, “There-there must be s-something?” I would have given anything to ease even a sliver of his pain, but he and I both knew there was nothing.

“Tech, I”

“Then why are you here?!” He suddenly snapped, arm sweeping out to push me away from him, and I instantly schooled my face for the coming storm. “If you’d returned to the 104th, we might have been granted a competent medic!” In an instant, that rage abandoned him beneath a flood of regret. “I… I apologize-I…” Even if I hadn’t known to expect it, the horror in those eyes would have been enough to rid me of any anger.

“Shh,” I breathed, already moving forward to continue slipping my fingers through those sweat-soaked curls. “It’s okay, Tech.” His expression crumbled, breaths just threatening to hitch.

“That… n-no, that is… inc-correct; I…” His shoulders bunched against his chest, gaze dropping sharply from me. “I am… I’m sorry…” His voice broke into a sob, and my arms instantly darted out to pull him against me. He didn’t hesitate against the sudden touch, shifting eagerly into it.

“Please,” The fear and desperation bleeding through that hiccupped word ruined me, and the final sliver of my own control crumbled. Tears poured from my eyes as I held him. “Please stay.” He buried the plea against my chest arm shaking beneath the effort to move, but the instant his touch brushed atop the sleek fabric over my shoulder, his fingers locked around me. I pressed my lips to the clammy skin just below his hairline, let them drag against him as I strained to force my stiff throat to form a reply.

“I’ll stay.” I murmured, “I swear, Tech; I’ll stay as long as you want.” The near silent sobs shaking through him rent my heart into shattered pieces, and I held him even tighter for it.

“It… it hurts…” My fingers clawed through his hair, a sob of my own ripping through me at his desperate words.

“I know, honey; I know… I’ve got you…” My torso began to move, rocking ever so gently as I held him. “Shh, I’ve got you.” He seemed to fade, mind falling into the abyss of pain and a fever too cruel to allow him even a moment’s relief from true sleep as he shuttered against me, so I continued to whisper to him, one arm held firmly around his back to keep him pressed against me as my other hand trailing absently through his hair.

“Hm-hmm.” A trembled hum caught in his throat, head jerking weakly against me.

“Shh, just try to sleep.” I murmured, begged, but those few moments of stillness broke as that jolted motion began to spread through his torso, his arms, legs only just managing to shift beneath him.

“H… hot-too… too hot.” He panted, pulling away from me to reach absently for his shirt. “Bur… it burns…” His fingers clawed at his neckline, vainly wrenching the fabric away from his skin.

“Okay, okay; you want that off?” I asked, already reaching for a set of sheers.

“I-it’s… m-my skin… reac-reacting… che-chemical burns? – I-I…”

“It’s hypersensitivity, Tech – no burns.” I promised even as I dragged the scissors down the length of fabric curving along his back. His spine arched violently forward at the faintest brush of metal against his skin, breath huffing between teeth ground against the screams beginning for release, and my heart churned beneath the flood of guilt.

“Shh – I’ve almost got it.” I promised before starting on his arms. The sob of relief as the cloth finally fell away was no less heartbreaking than the agony that had preceded it. “Do you want me to stop touching you?” I asked quietly despite how he continued leaning heavily against my chest. He quickly shook his head, hands shooting back toward me, fingers clawing into the fabric stretched over my ribs.

“Okay,” I murmured, letting my touch resume a featherlight dance through his hair, along his back, down his arms, only just whispering against the blistering heat radiating from his skin lest even a breadth of pressure ignite a fresh hurt through those terribly sensitive nerves.

He’d nearly fallen from the bed entirely in his plea for that contact, slowly dragging himself closer toward me in that desperate search for comfort. I glanced toward the nearby wall, eager for some support amidst the strain of holding his weight.

“I’m going to move just a bit, okay?” Again, I let my lips drag atop his sweat-soaked forehead. He managed only a shuddered whimper, but offered no objection as I carefully shifted onto the cot, pulling him gently with me until I could lean my back against the wall, sighing from the relief of ridding the strain from my abs. My eyes wondered to the line still miraculously connected to his hand, pleased to see the much-needed fluids still flowing into that vein.

“You’re doing so well, Tech. Just breathe with me… I’m right here.”

I watched the shivers ripple down the knots of tortured muscle lining his back, stretching over his ribs, his shoulders, felt his body seize beneath the relentless hurt, felt my heart twist at the occasional snips of broken pleas that shattered against his lips. I absently found myself glancing toward the chrono, and my heart dropped. Six hours. Six hours had passed since the fever first robbed his skin of that rich bronze in favor of blotched red against a frightful paleness.

I was exhausted, struggling to merely keep my eyes open even as I frequently found myself wrestling against subconscious, violent flails as he struggled against unseen nightmares. Twice more, I’d been too slow to avoid those sudden movements and could feel the swollen balls of tissue throbbing against my cheek and jaw, felt the bruises in every shift of my arms from when his fingers had locked into such a desperate grip around me, I’d feared the bones might shatter in his grasp. And still, that fever ravaged him.

“Wh…” Awareness jolted back through me with a physical ache, attention turning back to the man still nestled firmly against me. “… why?”

“Shh,” I breathed, ducking down to touch my lips back to his forehead as I whispered to him.

“Wh-I…I was s-successful-I…” He shook his head, shoulders tensing.

“I know, Tech; you didn’t do anything wrong.” I promised him, fingers trailing through his hair.

“Th-then why… why are you d-doing this?” I wanted to sob. I wanted to yield and run and beg for even a moment’s reprieve, breaking beneath the thought of going through this again.

“You’re just sick, honey; you just need to bre”

“Stop telling me to breathe!” He roared suddenly, and I felt those pitiful reserves of strength begin to abandon me, body deflating beneath him.

“Okay,” I murmured, “Okay, Tech; I’m sorry.”

“Then sto… stop… stop it…” The anger and desperation twisting through that plea would never stop haunting me; the wretched knowledge that there was nothing I could do to help him.

“I’m n… Tech, I’m not” The guilt-ridden words cut off in a gasp, eyes flaring wide amidst of sudden jolt of panic. He wasn’t looking at me, not really; gaze fluttering blindly in the air between us as his hands tightened into a vice around my neck.

“S-st-s… stop…” The stammered order continued in halting spurts, body rocking unsteadily beneath the taut muscles driving him forward, pinning me to the wall. My jaw craned open, diaphragm seizing, but could force no breath of air or whisper of speech around his hold. My feet kicked against the cot, torso bucking, hands latching around his, but I couldn’t escape him. Already, darkness crept along the edges of my vision. It felt like falling.

Tap-tap-tap.

Abandoning my grip on his wrist, I slammed my knuckles against the wall.

Tap…tap…tap…

Please…

Tap-tap-tap.

My mouth felt weird, like my teeth were swelling.

Tap…tap…

The muscles flickered amidst nearly forgotten pleas for movement.

Tap…

Heavy… the strange awareness of my body beginning to simply… relax…

The retching gasp of air screaming back into my lungs consumed me; the feeling of my jaw stretching open, body convulsing into a tight ball as my hands clawed at my throat and my shoulders hunched around me, anything to somehow guard the abused flesh of my neck as I struggled to make some sense of why I was trembling, why I still felt like I was suffocating.

Belatedly, I noted the feeling of something shifting below my cheek; holding me; someone calling my name. Void of any real thought, my eyes absently sought out that familiar voice, noting only the blurred outline of someone kneeling over me before my mind faltered beneath the crushing weight of exhaustion, body eagerly sinking back toward the promise of sleep.

“Look at me, dammit!” Something dragged painfully over my sternum, wrenching a sharp whimper from me, muscles seizing in a useless attempt to escape it as my eyes turned back toward the figure. Crosshair… why? His mouth moved, but I couldn’t hear his words, awareness flickering in those final few seconds before I heard his screams.

With a gasp, my head snapped up, gaze darting toward that stomach churning sound. Hunter had Tech trapped in a lock, arms looped about his chest and shoulders, and my heart broke at the agony I knew that pressure sent tearing through heightened nerves and ruined muscles.

“No!” The choked rasp that shattered against the raw flesh of my throat sent a violent wave of coughs seizing through me even as I staggered to pull myself toward them.

“Stop trying to kriffing move!” Crosshair ordered, but I only vaguely noted the way those elegant hands shifted over my jaw in an attempt to judge the damage, legs already scrambling beneath me to throw myself forward. I couldn’t make out their shouts over the sharp ringing that filled my ears, the way it seemed to thrum in sync with the frantic beating of my heart, but that didn’t matter. Tech couldn’t even scream anymore, writhing against Hunter’s restraining hold.

“Let him go!” The words cracked as I reached for him, crashing to my knees as my arms carefully looped around his head to draw him back against my chest. “Now! Let him go!” I roared, enraged at even that brief moment of hesitation, at the objection barking from his lips that I still couldn’t fully understand, but, slowly, Hunter yielded.

Instantly, Tech’s hands darted to me, clawing against my hips before they jerked up to my ribs, my shoulders, fingers burring into me as though I were the only thing keeping him from tumbling back into that frightful hell.

“Okay-okay; it’s okay Tech.” I fought to whisper the words even as my body continued to tremble nearly as violently as his, robbing my voice of that gentle quiet I so wanted to offer him. “Sh-shh; listen, listen… what do you hear?” I sighed into his hair. He stilled for just a moment, and I could feel his mind churning over my words, searching for an answer.

“H… heartbeat… t’s… t-tachycardic…” There was no strength in the listless response, but I still felt a rush of relief from it.

“Good,” I murmured warmly, “That’s perfect, Tech… What-what do we do for that?” The words caught slightly, throat balking against the strain of speech.

“Beta… beta blockers.” My fingers danced against his scalp, eyes sliding shut as I rested my cheek lightly against him.

“That’s right… but wh…” Maker, I was so tired… “what if we don’t have any?” Some of that tension began to slip away from him, and I had to lock an arm around his back to keep him from falling.

“…breathing… breathing exercises have-have been shown t-to help.” He sounded mere seconds away from slipping back into that taunting near-sleep.

“Yeah? Can you show me?” I pressed quietly. He let out something that sounded almost like an exasperated sigh, and I couldn’t help but let a huff of laughter escape me.

“Very well.” He nearly muttered, and, a moment later, his shoulders rose in some semblance of a deep inhale, paused, and then slowly released it.

“That was perfect, Tech… can you show me that again?” He didn’t bother responding before straining to repeat the deep breath. Halfway through the exhale, he went limp, and I only just managed to catch him against me. Hunter’s hand quickly darted to my shoulder, and I nearly collapsed at even that whisper of support, chest still shaking beneath too-shallow pants.

“Let me take him, Doc.” He murmured, already reaching for him. I quickly shook my head, but it took a moment before I managed to gather the strength to respond.

“He’s… he won’t be out long.” I heard the hopelessness just tinting my breathy words but couldn’t begin to fight it back.

“You’ve barely got your eyes open. Go get some rest; we can take care of him for a while.”

“Clearly.” The venom in my voice shocked us both, and I had to let out a slow sigh to gather my thoughts. “He’s… he’s not… lucid… most of the time, he’s just… he’s scared and confused, and he’s in so much pain, but he can’t understand why.” His touch shifted gently against me, and I barely bit back a sob. “I know… I know what to look for; if there’s anything I can give him to help.”

“That didn’t stop him from nearly killing you.” Crosshair retorted in a scowl. I started to look for him, but abandoned the effort halfway, eyes falling shut once more.

“He… he didn’t know”

“It doesn’t matter if he knows what’s happening or not. You think he’ll be okay with strangling you half to death because he didn’t know he was doing it?” Hunter pressed. I briefly fought for some argument, some logic behind my refusal amidst the muddled thoughts storming senselessly through me.

“I promised him.” I finally breathed, begging him to understand as my already unsteady breaths grew even choppier. “I-I promised I wouldn’t leave him.” My hold tightened around the still listless man in my arms, unfazed by the sharp tang of sweat clinging to damp skin, the nauseating heat still radiating from trembling muscles. Hunter let out a slow breath.

“You can’t be serious.” Crosshair growled. “If we’d been any slower, she’d be dead.”

“Do you know what to do if he starts seizing? Or if he stops breathing?” There was a weary patience in the Sergeant’s voice as he quietly met that piercing glare with an unfettered calm that only sharpened the scowl pulling at Crosshair’s lips before turning back to me.

“We’re going to take shifts with you.” I started to object, to remind him of Tech’s reluctance for his brother’s to see him like this, but that argument felt frightfully weak in the wake of the hurt still shooting through my neck at each stolen breath. He offered a grateful nod at the resignation that stole through me.

“Do you want help getting him back to the bed?” He asked, voice dropping into something of a murmur. My jaw shifted but fell still before managing an actual response. He didn’t need one. As soon as I began drawing some hint of movement through my limbs, he crouched down to ease Tech’s still limp body from me. I couldn’t hide the grimace of worn muscles balking from the movement, but forced myself to stay with him, hands carefully supporting his head until he was resting on his side once more.

I barely noticed the way I kneeled over him, shaking hand still gently carding through his hair as my eyes slid shut until the sound of the door closing pulled me back to a reluctant awareness. Gaze lazily sweeping over the room behind me, I couldn’t help the way my breath caught slightly to find Crosshair treading silently toward me.

He didn’t say anything, jaw grinding absently as troubled eyes seemed unsure where they should be looking, but, when he lowered himself to a knee, he finally glanced up at me, and the stillness that stole through him was infectious. Melting into that stillness, he slowly turned his attention to the tube of bacta I hadn’t noticed him grab. Movements quiet in a way that left me frozen before him, he collected some of that blue gel onto the tips of those skilled fingers and gently moved to smear it over the throbbing flesh of my neck, gaze meeting mine for just one more stolen moment before turning back to his task.

I barely breathed as his touch trailed over my jaw, up my cheek, those piercing eyes revealing every inch of skin abused in one of his brother’s fits. I had to stop myself from sinking into that touch, yearning for the release of merely letting him hold me, even if only for a moment, like he had that awful night, but I didn’t move when he finally pulled away from me; tried not to let him see the flash of disappointment as I turned my attention back to confirm Tech had yet to stir.

“Here.” I glanced toward him just enough to see the hydropack held toward me. “Drink.” He pressed when I didn’t immediately move to take it. Limb belatedly remembering how to function, I watched my hand reach out, careful to maintain at least some whisper of distance between our fingers before pulling it toward me. My throat balked at that first sip, face twisting in a sharp wince. I tried not to notice the frown pull at his lips as I set the pouch down after only that first drink before hugging my knees to my chest, cheek settling heavily atop my arm, gaze shifting wearily back to the trembling figure atop my bed.

Crosshair and I needed to talk. I knew that, but it still wasn’t the time for such things.

Next Chapter

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dontspillthefrijoles43 · 5 months

Text

Lost hero XV -Leo & Breisa

A sense of impeding doom

Warnings: Cursing, monsters, near death experiences, fire, canon typical violence (not graphic), teenagers being teenagers, first heroic experiences

Word count: 4k words

Summary: Cyclops…Why did it have to be cyclops?

<<Prev

—

Leo stopped at the door and tried to control breathing.

The voice of the earth woman rang in his ears, reminding him of that night. The last thing he wanted was to plunge into another dark warehouse.

Like he was eight years old all over again—alone, small, and helpless as people he cared about were trapped inside and in trouble.

“Oye, nada de eso.” Breisa said. “Don’t let her get to you. Alright? We got this.” She was shaking, but she held her own ground.

That didn’t make him any less scared. But it gave him enough courage– he breathed and creaked the door open.

Together they peered inside.

Nothing looked different.

Gray morning light filtered through the hole in the roof. A few light bulbs buzzed, but most of the factory floor was still covered in shadows.

But he was able to make out the catwalk above with shapes of heavy machinery along the assembly line, but no movement. No sign of his friends.

Leo almost called out, but something stopped him—a sense he couldn’t identify. Then he realized it was a smell.

Something smelled wrong—like burning motor oil and sour breath. Something not human was inside the factory.

Leo was certain. His body shifted into high gear, all his nerves tingling.

Somewhere on the factory floor, Piper’s voice cried out: “Leo, Breisa! help!”

Breisa held a finger to her lips. Her voice rang in his mind, ‘She couldn’t have gone off the catwalk. Not with a broken ankle.’

They slipped inside and ducked behind a cargo container.

Slowly, with weapons in hand, they inching toward the center of the room, hiding behind boxes and hollow truck chassis.

Finally, they reached the assembly line, crouched behind the nearest piece of machinery—a crane with a robotic arm.

Piper’s voice called out again: “Leo? Breisa?” Less certain this time, but very close.

They peeked around the crane.

Hanging directly above the other side of the assembly line was a massive truck engine—just dangling thirty feet up, as if it had been left there when the factory was abandoned.

Below it on the conveyor belt sat a truck chassis, and clustered around it were three dark shapes the size of forklifts.

Beside the forklifts dangling from chains, on another crane, were two smaller shapes—maybe more engines. One of them was wriggling around as if it were alive.

Breisa held a hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp.

Then one of the forklift shapes rose, and Leo realized it was a humanoid of massive size.

“Told you it was nothing,” the thing rumbled. Its voice was too deep and feral to be human.

The other forklift-sized lump shifted. It called out in Piper’s voice: “Leo, help me! Help—” Then the voice changed, becoming a masculine snarl. “Bah, there’s nobody out there. No demigods could be that quiet, eh?”

The first monster chuckled. “Probably ran away, if they know what’s good for them. Or the girl was lying about the demigods. Let’s get cooking.”

Snap.

A bright orange light sizzled to life—an emergency flare—and Leo was temporarily blinded. He ducked behind the crane until the spots cleared from his eyes.

‘Santa madre de los dioses.’ Breisa’s thoughts flood rushed him. She was still looking over the crane.

Then he took another peep and saw a nightmare scene.

The two smaller things dangling from the crane arm weren’t engines. They were Jason and Piper. Both hung upside down, tied by their ankles and cocooned with chains up to their necks.

Piper was wriggling around, trying to free herself. Her mouth was gagged, but at least she was alive.

Jason didn’t look so good. He hung limply, his eyes rolled up. A red welt the size of an apple had swollen over his left eyebrow.

On the conveyor belt, the bed of the unfinished pickup truck was being used as a fire pit. Which, from the smell of it, had been doused in kerosene.

A big metal pole was suspended over the flames—a spit, Leo realized.

‘They're gonna cook them alive!’ Breisa’s eyes stayed on the creatures as she gripped her weapon.

He looked at the creatures and almost choked.

They were most terrifying.

Monocle Motors: that single red eye logo.

Why hadn’t Leo realized?

Three massive humanoids gathered around the fire. Two were standing, stoking the flames. The largest one crouched with his backside facing Breisa and Leo. They were each ten feet tall, with hairy muscular bodies and skin that glowed red in the firelight. One of the monsters wore a chainmail loincloth that looked really uncomfortable.

The other wore a ragged fuzzy toga made of fiberglass insulation, which also would not have made Leo’s top ten wardrobe ideas.

The two monsters could’ve been twins. Each had a brutish face with a single eye in the center of his forehead.

The cooks were Cyclopes.

Leo felt his legs shaking. He’d seen some weird things so far—storm spirits, magic girls, winged gods, and a metal dragon that liked Tabasco sauce.

But this was different.

These were actual, flesh-and-blood, ten-foot-tall living monsters who wanted to eat his friends for dinner.

He was so terrified he could hardly think.

If only they had Festus. They could use a fire-breathing sixty-foot-long tank about now.

But all he had was a tool belt and a backpack. His three-pound club hammer looked awfully small compared to those Cyclopes. No better than Breisa’s ax— a mere kitchen knife.

This is what the sleeping earth lady had been talking about. She wanted Leo to walk away and leave his friends to die.

That decided it. No way was Leo going to let that earth lady make him feel powerless—never again. Leo slipped off his backpack and quietly started to unzip it.

The Cyclops in the loincloth walked over to Piper, who squirmed and tried to head-butt him in the eye.

She was fierce, even in the worst possible situation— Breisa respected that.

“Can I take her gag off now? I like it when they scream.”

The question was directed at the third Cyclops, apparently the leader. The crouching figure grunted, and Loincloth ripped the gag off Piper’s mouth.

She didn’t scream. She took a shaky breath like she was trying to keep herself calm.

Meanwhile, Leo found what he wanted in the pack: a stack of tiny remote control units that he founded in bunker 9.

‘'¡¿Qué estás haciendo?!’ Breisa telepathically asked.

‘Improvising’ He remarked–feeling around the robotic crane and propped open a maintenance panel.

He slipped a screwdriver from his tool belt and went to work, but he had to go slowly.

The leader Cyclops was only twenty feet in front of him. The monsters obviously had excellent senses.

Pulling off his plan without making noise seemed impossible, but he didn’t have much choice.

‘Keep an eye out or something.’

‘This is crazy.’ She grumbled but kept her ax ready.

The Cyclops in the toga poked at the fire, that billowed noxious black smoke into the ceiling.

His buddy Loincloth glowered at Piper, waiting for her to do something entertaining. “Scream, girl! I like funny screaming!”

When Piper finally spoke; her tone was calm and reasonable, like she was scolding a naughty puppy. “Oh, Mr. Cyclops, you don’t want to kill us. It would be much better if you let us go.”

Loincloth scratched his ugly head. He turned to his friend in the fiberglass toga.

“She’s kind of pretty, Torque. Maybe I should let her go.”

Torque, the dude in the toga, growled. “I saw her first, Sump. I’ll let her go!”

Sump and Torque started to argue. But then the third Cyclops rose and shouted, “Fools!”

Leo almost dropped his screwdriver. Breisa's ax slipped.

The third Cyclops was a female.

She was several feet taller than Torque or Sump, and even beefier. She wore a chain mail-like sack dress that Leo’s crazy mean Tía Rosa used have—a muumuu.

Her greasy black hair was matted in pigtails, woven with copper wires and metal washers. Her nose and mouth were thick— and mashed together, like she spent her free time ramming her face into walls; but her single red eye glittered with evil intelligence.

The woman Cyclops stalked over to Sump and pushed him aside, knocking him over the conveyor belt. Torque backed up quickly.

“The girl is Venus spawn,” the lady Cyclops snarled. “She’s using charmspeak on you.”

Piper started to say, “Please, ma’am—”

The lady Cyclops grabbed Piper around the waist. “Don’t try your pretty talk on me, girl! I’m Ma Gasket! I’ve eaten heroes tougher than you for lunch!”

‘Probably more than heroes.’ Breisa thought.

Leo grumbled ‘Shut up. Genius at work here.”

With furious concentration, he was able to twist wires and turn switches: hardly thinking about what he was doing. He finished attaching the remote. Then he crept over to the next robotic arm, Breisa following beside him, as the Cyclopes were talking.

“—eat her last, Ma?” Sump was saying.

“Idiot!” Ma Gasket yelled, and Leo realized Sump and Torque must be her sons. If so, ugly definitely ran in the family. “I should’ve thrown you out on the streets when you were babies, like proper Cyclops children. You might have learned some useful skills. Curse my soft heart that I kept you!”

“Soft heart?” Torque muttered.

“What was that, you ingrate?”

“Nothing, Ma. I said you got a soft heart. We get to work for you, feed you, file your toenails—”

Ugh Breisa gagged mentally

“And you should be grateful!” Ma Gasket bellowed. “Now, stoke the fire, Torque! And Sump, you idiot, my case of salsa is in the other warehouse. Don’t tell me you expect me to eat these demigods without salsa!”

“Yes, Ma,” Sump said. “I mean no, Ma. I mean—”

“Go get it!” Ma Gasket picked up a nearby truck chassis and slammed it over Sump’s head. Sump crumpled to his knees.

Both Leo and Breisa winced at the sound, but Sump apparently got hit by trucks a lot. He managed to push the chassis off his head. Then he staggered to his feet and ran off to fetch the salsa.

‘Now’s the time’, Leo thought. ‘While they’re separated.’

‘On it.’ Breisa sheathed her ax on her belt loops.

‘What are you—?’ He huffed as finished wiring the second machine.

‘Improvising.’ She looked at any opening between robotic cranes or Cyclopes— and she spotted it! ‘I got Piper and Jason.’

Breisa crept behind the robotic arms onto the stacks of crates. She climbed and jumped quietly onto each stack, from a distance it looked like stairs.

Leo realized she was aiming for the catwalk.

He then dashed between robotic arms, the Cyclopes didn’t see him, but Piper did. Her expression turned from terror to disbelief, and she gasped.

Ma Gasket turned to her. “What’s the matter, girl? So fragile I broke you?”

Thankfully, Piper was a quick thinker. She looked away and said, “I think it’s my ribs, ma’am. If I’m busted up inside, I’ll taste terrible.”

Ma Gasket bellowed with laughter. “Good one. The last hero we ate— remember him, Torque? Son of Mercury, wasn’t he?”

“Yes, Ma,” Torque said. “Tasty. Little bit stringy.”

“He tried a trick like that. Said he was on medication. But he tasted fine!”

“Tasted like mutton,” Torque recalled. “Purple shirt. Talked in Latin. Yes, a bit stringy, but good.”

Leo’s fingers froze on the panel. Breisa halted on the bars, hanging low from the catwalk.

Apparently, Piper was having the same thought, because she asked, “Purple shirt? Latin?”

“Good eating,” Ma Gasket said fondly. “Point is, girl, we’re not as dumb as people think! We’re not falling for those stupid tricks and riddles, not us northern Cyclopes.”

Leo forced his focus back on the panel, but his mind was racing. A kid who spoke Latin had been caught here—in a purple shirt like Jason’s? That could everything or nothing at all, but he had to leave the interrogation to Piper.

If he was going to have any chance of defeating these monsters, he had to move fast before Sump came back.

He looked up seeing Breisa doing a pull-up onto the walk, laying flat for balance.

She crawled on belly—trying not to be seen— to the cocoon chains.

Leo noticed a few inches away from the catwalk an engine was hanging right above the Cyclopes’ campsite. He wished he could use that—it would make a great weapon.

But the crane holding it was on the opposite side of the conveyor belt.

There was no way Leo could get over there without being seen, and besides, he was running short on time. He hoped Breisa could reach Jason and Piper before him.

From above he heard a creeek then the metal piece fell right beside him with a clang!

Leo was out of the way, luckily— the metal rod would have impaled him from the back.

What the fuck is she doing?!

He glanced again— the catwalk swaying sideways. Breisa gripping onto the railing for dear life, holding herself with shaky strength.

The Cyclopes started to look up to the sound of rattling chains.

“This place is falling apart! Luckily you northern cyclopes are keeping it in good working condition!” Piper kept talking, laying on the praise. “Oh, I’ve heard about the northern Cyclopes!” Which Leo figured was bull, but she sounded convincing. “I never knew you were so big and clever!”

That was enough for Breisa to lean herself from the walk onto rusted crane. She skidded across like she was on monkey bars. Hanging right where the metal cocoons were linked.

“Flattery won’t work either,” Ma Gasket said, though she sounded pleased. “It’s true, you’ll be breakfast for the best Cyclopes around.”

“But aren’t Cyclopes good?” Piper asked. “I thought you made weapons for the gods.”

“Bah! I’m very good. Good at eating people. Good at smashing. And good at building things, yes, but not for the gods. Our cousins, the elder Cyclopes, they do this….”

Leo tuned out mothermae-eye, as he could faintly hear Breisa spewing out a prayer.

‘Please Hecate don't let them see me. For the love of god. Or whatever weirdos in the sky. Or the universe, if anyone is listening to me— let me stay hidden to them.’

As the trickiest part of the plan was nearly done, Leo summoned some wires, a radio adapter, and a smaller screwdriver from his and started to build a universal remote.

For the first time, he said a silent thank-you to his dad—Hephaestus—for the magic tool belt.

Get me out of here, he prayed, and maybe you’re not such a jerk.

“—Titans lost. No good! No more need for Cyclops weapons.”

“Oh, no,” Piper sympathized. “I’m sure you made some amazing weapons.”

Torque grinned. “Squeaky war hammer!” He picked up a large pole with an accordion-looking metal box on the end.

He slammed it against the floor and the cement cracked, but there was also a sound like the world’s largest rubber ducky getting stomped.

“Terrifying,” Piper said.

Torque looked pleased. “Not as good as the exploding ax, but this one can be used more than once.”

“Can I see it?” Piper asked. “If you could just free my hands—”

Torque stepped forward eagerly, but Ma Gasket said, “Stupid! She’s tricking you again. Enough talk! Slay the boy first before he dies on his own. I like my meat fresh.”

No! Leo’s fingers flew, connecting the wires for the remote. Just a few more minutes!

“Hey, wait,” Piper said, trying to get the Cyclopes’ attention. “Hey, can I just ask—”

The wires sparked in Leo’s hand.

Breisa was half-way down the chains, on Jason's side since he was farther away. She halted mid-climb.

The Cyclopes froze and turned in his direction. Then Torque picked up a truck and threw it at him.

Leo rolled as the truck steamrolled over the machinery. If he’d been a half-second slower, he would’ve been smashed.

Breisa breathed a sigh of relief as he got to his feet, she thought he had gotten crushed. Hell he would’ve exploded into chunks, on a count of how small he was.

Ma Gasket spotted him. She yelled, “Torque, you pathetic excuse for a Cyclops, get him!”

Torque barreled toward him. Leo frantically gunned the toggle on his makeshift remote.

Torque was fifty feet away. Twenty feet.

Then the first robotic arm whirred to life. A three-ton yellow metal claw slammed the Cyclops in the back so hard, he landed flat on his face. Before Torque could recover, the robotic hand grabbed him by one leg and hurled him straight up.

“AHHHHH!” Torque rocketed into the gloom. The ceiling was too dark and too high up to see exactly what happened, but judging from the harsh metal clang, Leo guessed the Cyclops had hit one of the support girders.

Torque never came down. Instead, yellow dust rained to the floor. Torque had disintegrated.

Ma Gasket stared at Leo in shock. “My son ... You ... You ...”

As if on cue, Sump lumbered into the firelight with a case of salsa. “Ma, I got the extra-spicy—”

He never finished his sentence.

Breisa came down screeching out swears, using Jason as a tire swing. Not exactly strategic with her attack but managed a couple of sharp slashes with her Ax—throwing a kick into Sump.

The salsa case crashed into his chest and Sump flew backward, right into the base of Leo’s third machine. Sump may have been immune to getting hit with truck chassis, but he wasn’t immune to robotic arms that could deliver ten thousand pounds of force.

Leo spun the remote’s toggle, and the second robotic arm whacked Sump again.

The third crane arm slammed him against the floor so hard, he exploded into dust like a broken flour sack.

Two Cyclopes down.

Leo was beginning to feel like Commander Tool Belt—- when Ma Gasket glanced around, not even noticing Breisa, and locked her eye on him.

She grabbed the nearest crane arm and ripped it off its pedestal with a savage roar. “You busted my boys! Only I get to bust my boys!”

Leo punched a button, and the two remaining arms swung into action.

Ma Gasket caught the first one and tore it in half. The second arm smacked her in the head, but that only seemed to make her mad. She grabbed it by the clamps, ripped it free, and swung it like a baseball bat.

It missed Piper and Jason by a hair— luckily Breisa used all the force she could swing the three of them out of the way.

Then Ma Gasket let it go—spinning it toward Leo. He yelped and rolled to one side as it demolished the machine next to him.

Leo started to realize that an angry Cyclops mother was not something you wanted to fight with a universal remote and a screwdriver.

The future for Commander Tool Belt was not looking so hot.

She stood about twenty feet from him now, next to the cooking fire. Her fists were clenched, her teeth bared. She looked ridiculous in her chainmail muumuu and her greasy pigtails—but given the murderous glare in her huge red eye and the fact that she was twelve feet tall, Leo wasn’t laughing

“Any more tricks, demigod?” Ma Gasket demand with sneering.

Leo glanced up.

The engine block suspended on the chain—if only he’d had time to rig it. If only he could get Ma Gasket to take one step forward.

The chain itself ...that one link...Leo shouldn’t have been able to see it, especially from so far down, but his senses told him barely hanging on.

“Heck, yeah, I got tricks!” Leo raised his remote control. “Take one more step, and I’ll destroy you with fire!”

Ma Gasket laughed. “Would you? Cyclopes are immune to fire, you idiot. But if you wish to play with flames, let me help!”

She scooped red-hot coals into her bare hands and flung them at Leo. They landed all around his feet.

“You missed,” he said incredulously.

Then Ma Gasket grinned and picked up a barrel next to the truck.

Leo just had time to read the stenciled word on the side—kerosene—before Ma Gasket threw it.

The barrel split on the floor in front of him, spilling lighter fluid everywhere.

Coals sparked. Leo closed his eyes.

Piper and Breisa screamed.

“No!”

“Look out!”

A firestorm erupted around him. When Leo opened his eyes he was bathed in flames swirling twenty feet into the air.

Ma Gasket shrieked with delight, but Leo didn’t offer the fire any good fuel. The kerosene burned off, dying down to small fiery patches on the floor.

Piper gasped. Breisa’s jaw dropped. “Leo?”

Ma Gasket looked astonished. “You live?” Then she took that extra step forward, which put her right where Leo wanted. “What are you?”

“The son of Hephaestus,” Leo said. “And I warned you, I’d destroy you with fire.”

He pointed one finger in the air and summoned all his will. He’d never tried to do anything so focused and intense—but he shot a bolt of white-hot flames at the chain suspending the engine block above the Cyclops’s head— aiming for the link that looked weaker than rest.

The flames died. Nothing happened. Ma Gasket laughed. “An impressive try, son of Hephaestus. It’s been many centuries since I saw a fire user. You’ll make a spicy appetizer!”

The chain snapped—that single link heated beyond its tolerance point— and the engine block fell, deadly and silent.

“I don’t think so,” Leo said.

Ma Gasket didn’t even have time to look up.

Smash! No more Cyclops; just a pile of dust under a five-ton engine block.

“Not immune to engines, huh?” Leo said. “Boo-yah!”

Then he fell to his knees, his head buzzing.

—

After a few minutes he felt someone grab his shoulders, pull him up, and shake him furiously.

“Gonna hurl.” He blurbed, his stomach feeling queasy.

“Don’t do something stupid like that again!” Breisa shouted. “You scared me!” She had stopped shaking him. Checking him for burns or mark— just something serious.

Only his clothes had small singed marks. Some irritated callous on his hands. He need to change the bandage from the canyon incident.

“You worried about lil ole me?” Leo grinned with a sideways smile.

“You’re an idiot.” She huffed, and let him go.

“Leo! Are you alright? Can you move?” Piper called from behind her. She was freed from her chains. Breisa’s doing definitely.

He stumbled to his feet. He’d never tried to summon such an intense fire before, and it had left him completely drained.

Then together they lowered Jason, who was still unconscious. Piper managed to trickle a little nectar into his mouth, and he groaned. The welt on his head started to shrink. His color came back a little.

“Yeah, he’s got a nice thick skull,” Leo said. “I think he’s gonna be fine.”

“He can’t lose anymore of his memory.” Breisa pulled back his eyelid, trying to see his pupils. They reacted well to the morning light. “He should be alright.”

“Thank god,” Piper sighed. Then she looked at Leo with something like fear. “How did you—the fire—have you always ... ?”

Leo looked down. Breisa waited for an excuse or a denial or some kind of lie.

“Always,” he said instead. “I’m a freaking menace. Sorry, I should’ve told you guys sooner but—”

“Sorry?” Piper punched his arm. When he looked up, she was grinning. “That was amazing, Valdez! You saved our lives. What are you sorry about?”

Leo blinked. Then looked at Breisa in disbelief.

“She’s right, you know. You saved us.” She shrugged with a smile, “It was kind of awesome.”

“You saved us too.” Piper bumped her elbow. “Like mission impossible. Freaking amazing.”

Breisa blushed, above them a light bulb exploded. “Ah! Oh my bad! I didn’t know I could do that.”

Leo started to smile; but his sense of relief was ruined when he noticed something next to Piper’s foot.

Yellow dust—the powdered remains of one of the Cyclopes, maybe Torque—was shifting across the floor like an invisible wind was pushing it back together.

“They’re forming again,” Leo said. “Look.”

Piper stepped away from the dust. “That’s not possible. Annabeth told me monsters dissipate when they’re killed. They go back to Tartarus and can’t return for a long time.”

“Well, nobody told the dust that.” Breisa watched as it collected into a pile, then very slowly spread out, forming a shape with arms and legs.

“Oh, god.” Piper turned pale. “Boreas said something about this—the earth yielding up horrors. ‘When monsters no longer stay in Tartarus, and souls are no longer confined to Hades.’ How long do you think we have?”

Leo thought about the face that had formed in the ground outside—the sleeping woman who was definitely a horror from the earth.

“I don’t know,” he said. “But we need to get out of here.”

(A/N: I said I would finish this April, but school burning me out. Almost a graduate! One more month! In the mean time I will try to post as much chapters as possible. Story is finally picking up as I wanted it :)) Hope you all like this one!)

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