#imogen is literally me on so many levels

[navysealt4t]

im so curious what's gonna happen with imogen and sahar in s3 bc i don't think any promotional material has been talking abt them yet... like i wanna see so much more of them and since it's being kept so secret, I'm guessing its gonna be big (big as in they get together!!!)

[caeslxys]

I am SO fascinated to get your take on BH's reaction to Ludinus and Downfall.

*****SPOILERS FOR 102 BELOW*****

As someone who left Downfall with a very negative view of the gods, it's interesting to me that BHs (in particular Imogen) kept saying "but you're just like them" about Ludinus and then not realizing that she was saying that the gods are no better than Ludinus fucking Da'Leth. Yeah, Luda is a hyprocrite. Do you realize that the gods are no better? The GODS.

And BHs comparing themselves to the primes/betrayers as this "fucked-up family" completely ignores the power differential. "They're just little guys! We all make mistakes" but you're saying that about entities that can literally sling 9th levels every 6 seconds without using any resources.

Nothing that can feel and be motivated by loss, rage, fear, and revenge should have that much power. Respectfully.

Sorry this took me so long to answer! I’ve been letting my own thoughts simmer and rewatching the episode in pieces to grasp the Many Many different things that happened on my own because it was Quite A Lot and some of it (the delilah of it all, funnily enough) left me immediately with an overall sense of disappointment that I wanted to sift through before talking Thoughts so that I could determine analysis from bias lol. BUT. I DO HAVE THOUGHTS

Long answer under the read more, but tldr: Apart from Orym, Ashton, and Dorian (simultaneously the most and least surprising!) I don’t think we’ve gotten the full breadth of BH’s opinions at all. In part because this a topic of discussion that requires them actually, well, discussing it to form fully rounded opinions on but also, crucially, because they were expressing opinions and emotions in front of Ludinus. This is important, because Orym/Ashton/Dorian make the most sense to have no reason for holding their true thoughts back in front of either him or the party (obviously in Orym and Ashton’s case, but I’ll be honest in not considering what is now obvious—Dorian has no idea who this guy actually is! Of course he wasn’t opposed to raising his perspective!), whereas other characters—namely Imogen—have many more internal steps and hurdles to actually reaching a conclusion that must happen outside of Ludinus’ eye.

Alright. Long version.

I think it truly speaks to the characters that the ones who reacted the most immediately decisive were Orym—the one whose opinions wouldn’t have changed regardless of what was held within that orb (which. sigh)—Ashton—the punk, anti-authoritarian character who has had an established perspective of the gods and their power for quite some time, perspectives that were in many ways cemented in viewing this piece of history rather than dispelled—and Dorian—someone who, as mentioned earlier, has the least amount of context for who Ludinus is, but who also himself was raised in a comparatively high position of social power so as to understand exactly what Ludinus is saying about the gods’ misusing theirs.

And, of course, Imogen. I’ll admit: I was immediately shocked at her response, but in hindsight of course she responded the way she did. I have talked and gushed and wailed before at how deeply empathetic Imogen is, and how it is also her ultimate fatal flaw (demonstrated explicitly here), so of course her first thought was how she saw the feelings and motives behind the decisions made in downfall and not how it was also an extreme over-reach of power and influence. Of course she did. I think the only person she’s incapable of empathizing with is Delilah lmao.

And to that point: A lot of that seemed, on a rewatch and to me, posturing on her part. So much of Imogen is defined by her guilt and shame and self-loathing and its especially prevalent when she is playing leader—a role she is naturally very good at, but doubts constantly because she does not consider herself “good”. So, often, she does what she thinks others perceive as “good” and “right” and keeps her more complex thoughts to herself until she is in a safe space (often with Laudna), and projects who she thinks others need her to be in the moment.

Laudna, in the same vein, also shocked me that she didn’t push the breach of power here. But, again, she is also right next to Imogen in “bells hells characters most driven by/capable of empathy” (though hers is, unlike Imogen’s, often in conflict with her desires in really compelling ways) so on further reflection—and especially taking into consideration the massive amount of shame she is feeling from swordgate—of course she focused on the empathetic side of it all.

Ultimately we didn’t get much time at all for them to actually discuss and dissect their take-aways on all of downfall in a setting and context that would be free of bias and performance. If i’m honest, I think those conversations need to happen individually instead of in a group, though maybe Dorian’s inclusion and obvious clear decision on his stance being more in line with Ludinus’ may just be enough for Orym alone not to break the conversational thread again with his personal grief (and guilt, but that’s another post lol). I think their real opinions have yet to solidify even for themselves, and we’ll see them truly form in the coming episodes. The Delilah of it all notwithstanding.

Speaking of Orym’s refusal to think about anything—I think he and Imogen both are suffering from Predathos tunnel vision. Honestly I’d argue a good portion of fandom is as well. None of that conversation is ultimately about Predathos, it was about the gods and the role they play and the power they use or over-use or deserve. By focusing so intently on what we all already agree is the wrong and bad solution to this problem, we ignore the problem entirely. It’s one of my main issues with Orym’s stance this whole campaign. If we don’t ask what is to be done with the gods, and the campaign just wraps up with “we defeated the bad guys, yay!” well. What of the ruidusborn, who we know are treated unfairly and unkindly and who suffer through no fault of their own. What of the young vanguard members—the kids—who, also, are only guilty of caving to the idea of peace. What of Aeor, what of Ludinus—what of the cycle that birthed them both. To not engage with the questions being asked for hyperfixating on the Predathos of it all is to leave this campaign, in my opinion, on both a deeply unsatisfying but also deeply hopeless note. The cycle will continue. We may not see it—it may be another thousand, two thousand years before another Ludinus rises—but another Ludinus or Aeor or both will rise, because ultimately no change will have been implemented in the problems which resulted in them.

And—final note, promise—I was talking to a friend about this yesterday but when it comes down to acknowledging the societal implications of downfall, especially in Imogen’s case, I do think it’s going to have to be pointed out first. A lot of Bells Hells are characters who have suffered at the very hands they are trying to save, but also suffered in part and specifically due to a lack of access to knowledge about it all. It does not escape me that the very first scene of campaign three is Imogen attempting to gather knowledge on powers that have made her miserable for a decade and being unable to access them in a library due to her station. That is, to me, more and more becoming the underpinning theme of this campaign—especially as all Ludinus is doing in this moment with the Occultus Thalamus is displaying it; again, obviously Ludinus is wrong in his means (and arrogant in his assumptions that just because of his failures that no one else could find a solution) but this, specifically, the spreading of knowledge—that, I 100% find myself in agreeance with. So it’s not that they won’t understand what characters like Ashton and Dorian, both hyperaware of the implications of power here, are or will be saying. It’s that they literally do not know to think about it like that. Why would they. It has been intentionally kept from them.

Anyway I have no idea if that was uh. Sufficient Enough of an answer adksfjd at some point I just started yapping but! I’m intrigued, especially because of Dorian’s adamant belief, in what conclusions they’ll draw moving forward as the discussions truly begin! Hopefully! Hopefully they will discuss it!

[pocketgalaxies]

FOR REALLL RE: WHEN MATT ASKED IF ANYONE WANTED TO DO ANYTHING. And then, when they went to Keyleth and Orym said "we want to be useful in the downtime"... my jaw fucking dropped. You all JUST got back from aeor, and right before that you got back from the moon - where your friend fucking DIED. No one wants to process any of that??

From how Matt had framed it, the feywild meeting between Ludinus and the Unseelie was an optional mission they could have delegated to NPCs, yet they jumped right into it with no prep or plan.

[And ohhh, the instant amnesia about why they were there. It was like they completely forgot the intent of the mission, and when Dorian raised that point ("is this what we are here for? To fight?") They all just shrugged and acted like there was no other choice!] I love them all dearly, so my frustration is borne of concern (they just walked into a HUGE fucking fight they are ill prepared for), and I am TERRIFIED Fearne will die now because of it. But also, I wonder - do they even want to be in this campaign anymore?

The way they keep rushing forward...maybe it's bc they've been conditioned by the rest of this campaign's pacing. Part of me feels it's Orym. This whole campaign it's felt like he's been using his pushing attack on the team. [Telling them early on (ep 30s) they need to promise him to be better together, forever reminding them of the ticking clock which means they need to get to Yios, to the malleus key, to reunite post-solstice. Then, an hr into the reunion: they need to keep going to address things "fast and fully". They need to get to Keyleth, to the moon, to stay on the moon even if it's risky bc "it isn't a vacation." Oop Letters died, but let's get back to keyleth, now we need to go to aeor, back to keyleth, and after all of that...well they need to "be useful in the downtime"! That might be too uncharitable? I don't know.

Above the table, I think they are all overworked from making two animated series, running a company, and their professional work outside of CR. It seems like too much. Like they need a break, and maybe subconsciously are running headlong to the finish so they can finally have one. I don't begrudge them that, but it does make me sad for these specific characters that they've been so constrained by the plot.]

yeah for sure, the campaign is sharing space with a million other responsibilities when it used to be The Flagship the single most significant project they were working on. i think it's very likely that both animated series are perceived as a higher priority than the campaign now given the budget, wider audience, etc. which just kinda sucks when the campaign also requires the highest level of emotional and time investment out of all of those projects

orym has definitely played a role in the Always Business No Pleasure vibe of the campaign but i guess i hesitate to put that much blame on him, i think the overall story has been go go go and orym is largely a reflection of that. but also i do agree that it certainly isn't helping and many ppl have made more eloquent posts than i ever could about the space his grief has been allowed in comparison to other aspects of other characters and how that has affected the party and the campaign overall

i really do wish they could've taken this week to recuperate, do something for themselves. literally anything. go shopping. any loose ends they would want to tie up before going into a battle to the death. but they either don't have connections to outside npcs or those connections simply aren't prominent enough. relvin, milo, birdie and ollie, family in zephrah, dariax, etc.? anyone?? imogen v. groon battle was sitting right there? and i just don't understand the necessity of adding in this ludinus unseelie situation it seems like something extraneous that the story could've gone entirely without and now it's just another Thing they have to do?

ANYWAY just struggling a lot about all these things! having a great time!!

[phoebepheebsphibs]

What is your favorite piece of art you have created?

Ooooooof. Uhhhm, tough one babe...

I mean, there are a lot. There are some traditional art pieces that I am proud of, but most of my art is digital and looks amazing if I do say so myself. Writing is also an art, and animation is literally drawing over and over and over again, so...

It's a tough call.

There's this one traditional drawing/watercolour painting I did back in high school that I am still so proud of, even though I look back at it and cringe at my old skill level. But hey, I made a pop-up logo for that and some of the drawings look like actual screenshots from the episode, so TAKE THAT PRIDE AND EGO!!

Out of my writing, there are tons of things I've written that written that are both original stories and fanfics. As much as I love my fanfics, there's this one long short story I made about how Peter Pan and Captain Hook became who they were, and that story helped get me into my college of choice!

Choosing a digital drawing is difficult, mostly cuz I have made so many over the years, and I personally believe my art skills and style bloomed exponentially over the past two years specifically. So Imma skip on that for now.

My favourite piece of animation would probably have to be... erm... a clip from my senior film project about my original characters, Lloyd and Imogen. The film as a whole was cute, and I animated a lot of scenes myself but also worked with a group of awesome artists! I haven’t posted the whole vid here or on Youtube though. Thing is, by the end of college, many scenes were still unfinished due to animators falling through and I am kinda ashamed to show it to people (even though those who have seen it say they don't notice the unfinished scenes until I point them out)...

But I am wicked proud of these scenes in particular that I animated for the film. They look incredible and adorable!!

Anywhoser, that's my overly long answer for now.

[utilitycaster]

What’s wild to me is when the purple and black hearts stans start lying about how a lot of beaujes shippers reacted to beauyahsa. Like they were out here calling beauyasha a ship for straight people and accusing the cast of queerbaiting because one wlw ship was canon instead of another one. I’ll never forget when someone said that Beau was a problematic predatory lesbian stereotype because they were mad she never confessed her feelings for Jester.

It goes to what you’ve been saying that very little has happened between Laudna and Imogen romantically so a lot of people have resorted to yelling about other things and accusing people who don’t like the ship of being homophobic. As a lesbian I wanted to love the ship so much but it doesn’t interest in and it’s so disheartening to be accused of hating wlw relationship or be told that I’m not watching the show right.

Hey anon,

I feel like I keep using the word "ahistoric" but god does it fit like...the ugly truth is that, at least on Tumblr, the main detractors from Beauyasha by the end of the campaign were people who shipped Beau and Jester; again, there will always be some misogyny and homophobia and bigotry in the fandom so long as these exist in the real world, but like, it was not homophobes saying Beauyasha was For The Straights.

(also...how is it problematic and predatory to...not confess your feelings for someone if you have no intention of acting on them because you and they are both in other relationships. This is besides the point of this ask but I swear the people who were mad at the C2 canon ships were on a new level of dipshittery; they kept asking for Closure (TM) and it's like most normal people, if they have an unrequited crush and then enter into a relationship with someone else, never tell the person about the crush because it's awkward and there's literally nothing to do or say about it. Like, the typical path forward for closure is like, telling your therapist or journalling or making an angsty playlist, not Confessing Your Love while you're both in relationships with someone else.)

I do think this history is relevant though because in many ways...the behavior of people who shipped Beau and Jester paved the way for the open dislike of Imogen and Laudna we see today. Why should I listen to someone who calls me homophobic for not liking a lesbian ship when they called me homophobic and straight last campaign for liking a lesbian ship they didn't like? Why would I ever listen to a random person who does not know me through anything but our shared interest in the same Actual Play show's assessment of my feminist credentials based on the fact that I don't want the same two characters to kiss as they do? Why would I ever bother to try hit their ever moving target instead of saying "ok" and moving on?

Which isn't to say it doesn't suck. I've gotten questions about how to not be bothered or disheartened before from others, and I don't have great advice because I happen to just, through a combination of personal experience and natural tendencies not be much of a people pleaser, but like...I mean, you're the only person who can know if you're a lesbian. That's really it. Not particularly caring about a specific F/F ship very obviously does not disqualify you from being a lesbian, which we know because otherwise we could just as easily say that not shipping Beauyasha would disqualify you from being a lesbian. They can say whatever they want; it's annoying, but it's bullshit and I think even they know it. (the alternative of course is that they're very, very stupid and do not know it.)

[mehoymalloy]

How do you think Imogen reconciles with those headcannons about Otohan? Do you think they could grow towards a healthy dynamic? In your fics, it seems like they are.

Well that's a fun question, because as I've written them, Imogen doesn't actually know any of that about Otohan (or anything at all about Otohan, for that matter).

In the Let Me/Won't You universe, the bond makes a lot of those traits intrinsically known on a subconscious level even if not fully understood. An example from my fic flowers: Imogen never saw Otohan carefully clean their armor, yet to her own discomfort, she is unsettlingly unsurprised when faced with the evidence.

What's more, their relationship only works (even as dysfunctional as it is) because of that bond. They are the only two people who can understand what it's like to know someone inside and out in every way while simultaneously, at times, absolutely loathing each other.

It's terrifying for both of them (tho Otohan would obviously never admit it) to be laid so utterly bare before their literal enemy, and fucking each other is one helluva way to cope with that lol.

A friend was actually just teasing about this (see below): because of that unique bond in particular, Imogen is especially able to get underneath Otohan's skin and in their head. As a result, she becomes a bit of an exception to a lot of Otohan's norms (to Otohan's immense frustration).

I mentioned in the headcanons post that Otohan is not particularly possessive or prone to jealousy or envy. And I think that tracks with canon, in that Otohan shows no indication of ever being envious of Liliana being chosen as the probable vessel for Predathos. In regards to possessiveness and jealousy, while I have no canon reasoning for this, I just don't think Otohan has ever cared about anyone enough to reach that point.

(You can probably see where I'm going with this.) Obviously I've written Otohan as plainly possessive of Imogen and jealous of Laudna, but it's not so much because she cares about Imogen. Rather, she hates the forced sense of intimacy the bond brings. She hates that Imogen theoretically has access to all their memories and thoughts, even the ones she hides from herself. She hates that some part of her craves that easy sense of intimacy (because Otohan is a pretty unlikable person and they know it lol). They hate that Imogen has all this access and knowledge and control over them and can so easily reject them anyway (tho I will say, this is getting very meta, Otohan would never admit any of this even to themself lol).

Now to finally answer your question of whether Imogen and Otohan could ever grow toward a healthy relationship dynamic: it sort of depends on the universe, but ultimately, no.

For what I have planned for the Let Me series, they get even worse, in fact!

In the Won't You spin-off series (which I consider not 'canon' to Let Me, I'll make clear), they're forced to face each other's feelings and insecurities, and they sometimes intentionally and ruthlessly dig into those while other times soothing them for the sake of having a rare moment of peace.

And most recently, in @lavendertheys wonderful "OhNotohan" series, KelseyO has given me the space to dig into those especially soft spots that I honestly would normally find too somft for Let Me/Won't You overall.

But the thing about enemies to lovers as a trope is that you can only write two people hating each other so many ways; it will get boring eventually. In my opinion, it is immensely more interesting when the concept of caring for each other in spite of that established hatred is introduced. That's also what's just plain fun for me to write.

So no, I don't think they'll ever reach a point that I would call healthy, which is very much the point of them. But is incredibly fun to inject those softer moments that evoke the barest echo of a healthy relationship because seeing how they both deal (or don't lol) with that makes for interesting character development.

Anyways, I think I've rambled enough! Thanks so much for the interesting question, I honestly forget that I can talk far too much about Otohan and Imotohan overall until someone makes the mistake of asking me about them. Then it all spills out lol and I appreciate those that actually like to see those thoughts~

[beauregardlionett]

kintsugi kid (what is there between us if not a little annihilation)

AO3 Link

NOTE: updated this because i decided i wasn't satisfied with it

Lord de Rolo and Lady Allura were—understandably—pissed. As were the rest of the hells, but the fractured decorum on the Lord and Lady’s faces was much more distinctly out of place.

After Fearne kicked Ashton in the face, the hells reigned in their upset long enough to be led back upstairs to Whitestone castle and guided to their rooms. They made it clear that the hells were in no condition to go to Ruidus, and would spend one more night in the castle. Ashton didn’t give a shit either way.

Ashton dragged his weary limbs into the bedroom he was in the night before and collapsed on the edge of the bed. His limbs ached and burned in tandem, as if his nerves didn't know which sensation to address first, so they just threw everything at Ashton in one go. He stretched out his new arm, hoping to alleviate even a fraction of the pain, waiting for the group to unleash their rage on him.

He only realized he was in for a truly unpleasant conversation when Laudna shut the door behind a reluctant Imogen, leaving them alone in the room.

She turned to face Ashton and crossed her arms over her chest, dark eyes glaring at them from across the room. Ashton looked away, focusing instead on his hand as he extended and curled his new molten fingers repeatedly, testing the sensation and range of motion. The energy inside was a thrilling zing through their veins.

Without looking up from their hand, Ashton asked Laudna, “how long are you going to stand there before you lay into me?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Laudna asked with emphasis.

“You want the list in chronological order or alphabetical?”

“This is not funny!” Laudna all but screeched, throwing her hands in the air. “Is your life really that much of a joke to you?”

“Have you been paying attention to anything I’ve said about my life? I think you already know the answer to that.”

“No,” Laudna exhaled, harsh and upset. “I don’t think I do. You contradict yourself at every fucking turn, Ashton. You're such a hypocrite, how would any of us know what you really think?”

Ashton finally looked up at her, their anger a kindling ember beneath their sternum. It felt different than before, less like something they could control and more like something controlling them.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Laudna leveled an admittedly terrifying glare at Ashton, her lips pressed into a thin, upset line. “How many times are you going to literally shatter before you stop being so reckless?” “I wasn’t trying to die—” Ashton protested, shifting as if to get up and abandoned the idea halfway. He was still exhausted and aching, and moving didn't help. “I don’t believe you!” Laudna cut them off, the words exploding out of her with a fierce jerk of her arms. “Your words and your actions don’t line up, Ashton. You told F.C.G. no one wants a martyr, and then you pull this because you don’t want any of us to get hurt. You tell us you care about us, that you want to live, but you don’t trust us to have your back and you continuously pull reckless stunts. What is the truth, Ashton?”

Ashton clenched their teeth together, jaw cracking slightly with the force of it. He looked down at his lava rock arm again and figured the answer was pretty clear.

“I want to have a legacy. I want to be remembered for something—something I chose, instead of something that happened to me.”

“How were any of us supposed to know? You never said a damn thing to clue us into the fact we were supposed to care about this shard the way you do. We could have helped you, Ashton! And why does this legacy have to include risking your life alone? Are you that selfish? You didn’t tell us, and you had Fearne lie for you, too!”

“Don’t pretend like you all wouldn’t have tried to stop me,” Ashton scoffed.

“Of course we would have tried to stop you!” Laudna screamed, her eyes watering and furious. “The tree warned us about what would happen if you tried to take on that stupid shard. Is it so hard to believe we would have tried to stop you because we care about you? Because we don’t want you to die? For fuck’s sake, Ashton, why don’t you trust us?”

“I never said I didn’t trust you,” Ashton ground out, that burning ember growing hotter in their chest.

“You could have fooled me!” Laudna snapped. “Everything you do implies otherwise—you didn’t need to say anything. You said you wanted a family. Well, you have one here, trying to help you, but that means we have to trust each other—mutually. But you lied to us, Ashton. You took advantage of our trust to do this. You used Fearne's curiosity and her faith in you because you knew she wouldn't try to stop you—you took advantage of her. What if we hadn’t realized something was wrong?”

“I knew you would,” Ashton said casually, shrugging and trying to contain their anger for once. They were fine, so what did it matter how they got here? What did it matter that kissing Fearne only tasted like guilt? “I trusted you all to keep me alive. Besides, I’m fine. It worked.”

“You...” Laudna trailed off, voice faltering. Ashton looked up at her and blinked at the unadulterated rage he found there. “Your hubris almost got you killed, Ashton! And we had to stand by and watch that happen! You shattered—do you understand that? Ashton, you were gone—to where we would have had to ask someone else to bring you back.”

“We did that for you,” Ashton pointed out. They sat in the same castle they had brought Laudna back in. The irony was not lost on him.

“It’s different and you know it,” Laudna bit out. “I died in a battle by mistake, and I left a body behind. You were on the verge of dying because you think you’re better than the gods and the primordials—because you are convinced they owe you something. If you actually died the way you were about to down there...Ashton, there would have been nothing left of you.”

They stared at each other in the heavy silence left behind from Laudna’s rant. Ashton’s chest felt white hot, like they needed to cough around heartburn, like acid was pooling in their throat. He held it in stubbornly, determined to prove he could control this.

“I did this to take control of my situation,” Ashton ground out eventually. “You can’t tell me that if this was about Delilah, you would have done anything different.”

“I would have talked to you all,” Laudna said, unyielding. “I would have let everyone say their piece, and explained what I was doing and why. Maybe I would have ignored everyone and gone through with it, but at least I wouldn't have done it alone, or used someone's faith in me against them. That’s what I would have done differently.”

Ashton opened his mouth to argue, to tell Laudna she was wrong—that she was more like him than she thought. But one look at her expression and Ashton couldn’t find the words. This was where they diverged, where the line of distinction pulled them apart. Laudna knew her limitations, and Ashton refused to acknowledge his. She was figuring out how to be cared for, and Ashton assumed they were incapable of being loved in any way that mattered.

Ashton had never been cared for the way they wanted to be. No one ever stuck around long enough to do so. They didn't have a framework for accepting the simple fact that these assholes cared about him. So instead, Ashton held them at arms length and convinced himself he was unlovable—because it was easier to stay broken than it was to heal after decades of hurt.

He looked at Laudna across the room and stayed silent.

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” Laudna said, voice low and acidic. She stalked forward, approaching Ashton for the first time so she could glare down at them.

“How many more times are you going to shatter before you’re satisfied?”

Ashton stared up at her ink-colored eyes and smirked, small and self-deprecating.

“What if I said I’ll never be satisfied?”

Laudna’s face twisted, and for a long moment, Ashton thought she might hit them. But at the end of that moment, she took a step back and worked her jaw.

“If that’s the case,” she said, slow and measured. “Then don’t ask us to save you next time.”

Laudna turned away and went for the door. Ashton didn’t know how to call her back. This was expected, watching someone reach the threshold of how much they could care about him and his brokenness. It hurt more than he expected it to, because it was Laudna. They were supposed to be broken in the same ways. But Ashton never let his wounds heal, and Laudna had.

She opened the door and stopped halfway out.

“Apologize to Fearne,” Laudna said over her shoulder. "Or you're getting kicked again."

She started to shut the door behind her, and Ashton couldn't take it anymore.

"Fearne told me she didn't want it."

Laudna paused, turning back to look at him over her shoulder. Her brow was furrowed, but Ashton latched onto the fact that she was listening.

"I asked her if she wanted the shard, and she said that she thought it was meant for me," Ashton placed their lava rock hand over their chest and exhaled, weary. "Yes, I made her lie to all of you, and I scared her. But I don't regret it. I chose this."

Ashton lifted his new arm and stared at it, a mix of emotions swirling unpleasantly in his chest.

"I chose this. For once in my fucking life, I got to choose how I broke." Ashton's eyes slid from their fingers to Laudna's face. He wasn't sure what he was looking to find there, but he was desperate for someone—for her—to understand. "I did this."

Laudna didn't move for a long few moments. Ashton wondered if they really had exceeded the limits of Laudna's patience, if this was it. But then she sighed, long and weary, and shut the door. She walked over to Ashton and sat down on the bed beside them, reaching out for his new arm and hesitating, her fingers hovering over the lava rock. Ashton made no move to close the distance, waiting for Laudna to make that choice.

Eventually, she slid her fingers around Ashton's wrist, seeming surprised when the rock didn't immediately burn her.

"Does it still hurt?" Laudna asked, her voice warbled with emotion. Ashton was surprised at the sudden turned, but then realized he probably shouldn't be. He knew that she cared.

"You mean everything?" Ashton asked. Laudna nodded, her eyes stuck on his arm. "Not really, but I think it's because the new arm is so overwhelmed it's numb. Might change later."

"I..." Laudna paused, breath stuck audibly before she pushed out a heavy breath. "I didn't mean it, what I said. We're always going to try and save you—save each other. Unless you ask us not to. Even then, we'll probably fight you on it."

"I kind of deserved all that," Ashton laughed, curling his fingers again. "I could tell you were all pissed at me."

"We want to support you, Ashton," Laudna said with emphasis. "We know how important this is to you, figuring out who you are. But you have to understand how scary that was, and how much it hurt to realize you lied to us. Yes, we would have tried to stop you from doing something so reckless. But maybe we could have found another way, one that wouldn't have put your life at so much risk. You said yourself that we're supposed to be a family, right? So, include us. We want to help you."

Ashton clenched their jaw, trying to find the words to tell Laudna that the last time they had a family, it was the Nobodies. And they all knew how that had ended. As much as Ashton wanted a family again, it was terrifying.

"Ashton," Laudna said, tone firm. He looked up at her, surprised that his eyes were misty.

"We care about you. You know that, right?"

Ashton stared at her, and she held his gaze in return, unflinching. He wasn't sure how to accept this, but he knew better than to turn her away.

"Yeah," Ashton said, voice wobbling. "I do."

[autumnslance]

This is a very silly ask (and feel free to ignore it completely), but do you think any of your OCs would be friends with characters from other franchises? (Fun fact, this was inspired by a piece of fanart that made me believe that Thancred and Leon Kennedy of Resident Evil fame would absolutely be friends. Or at least drinking buddies.)

Hrm, I don't often think in terms of crossovers and mashups anymore--which is funny, as one of my earliest online RP experiences was a multiverse setting where OCs from any and all settings--franchise, gaming, original, etc--could co-exist. Normal mortals teaming up with demigods from novel series and mega-damage users from RIFTS and an array of fantasy and sci-fi and horror characters in between.

I sometimes think about how my OCs in various settings would interact together; how my WoW OCs would get along, or not, with the FF14 crew, or the FF14 OCs with my D&D characters. I tend to lean into certain archetypes (bards and paladins/clerics/priests are favorites), so there'd be some overlap and things in common, and also some frustrations at similarities that grate and clash.

So I don't think too much about how they'd interact with canon figures from other settings, but any OCs I'd have in that realm instead.

Well, the adventuring parties of Actual Play shows like Critical Role (and its animated series spinoffs) is pretty easy; Vox Machina, the Mighty Nein, and Bells Hells are all as chaotic and as helpful as adventurers tend to be, for good or bad. So there'd be eye rolling and irritation, but also understanding and diving in alongside, forming friendships with the weirdos cuz well, adventurers are Like That. They're RP characters too though so might be cheating, or at least easier to figure out for me.

Vax has that sort of noble rogue energy that'd make Aeryn fond of him, while Vex would initially drive her up a wall until they reached an understanding. Scanlan's annoy the heck out of her until they got to sit down and talk for real and she saw under the vulgar exterior. Percy'd be tolerated as Insufferable Noble Trying Too Hard. She'd be patient with Grog and enjoy his overlarge childish glee at everything. And who doesn't love Pike? Literal angel with a chaotic bent herself, she adds a bit of calm when not engaging in sibling shenanigans with Grog. I think Aeryn'd relate most to Keyleth, funnily, and they'd get along decently. Tary, too, would get a lot of sympathy concerning expectations, and also nerding around with his crafts, and may make dealing with Percy a tad easier.

Of the Nein, Caduceus is a spot of calm, aroace energy. Not as right as he thinks he is about many things, but he means well and tries, and that counts for a lot. Aeryn'd have tea with him any day. She'd also be drawn to Beau's bravado and brashness and they'd get into trouble together. Same with Fjord and Caleb, really; there's a level of familiarity in how they approach things with 'let's poke it and see what happens' but also the care they have for others in general. Same with Yasha. Jester's a bright light ball of energy and oh gods her and C'oretta in the same space would be exhausting. Nott/Veth is a bit more complicated; probably depends on when in the campaign, is it before or after Veth's reunited with her family, as she undergoes a shift emotionally once she has her original self back as well as her husband and son. Molly would aggravate and charm Aeryn by turns; Kingsley she'd be sympathetic to and understand too well that living in another's shadow aspect. Essek is fine; he's a wizard to talk shop with, learn from, mess around with spellwork. Luc is a brat also in the shadow of his accomplished mom and adventuring family, and needs mentoring and guidance and a lot of patience oh gosh.

A lot of the Hells would honestly be irritating, especially Imogen's propensity to just use telepathy intrusively; girl needs a lesson in why you don't want to poke around uninvited or casually to get your answers, and a WoL's head is wilder than most. FCG needs mentoring and guidance like whoa. Fearne's also an agent of energetic chaos; fun in doses. Laudna's not so scary, very sweet and fun and sad and likely needs help she doesn't know how to ask for. Ashton's grating in his arrogance and rebelliousness for rebellion's sake (though that may shift given recent things...). Chetney's surface attitude would be annoying, but soon enough he'd be a safe and calming point, given his perceptions. Orym's also just calming and reasonable; maybe a little too much sometimes, and needs to be reminded to cut loose now and then, it's good for you (and your friends).

Dark rolls with it all; she's very easy to get along with. Iyna wouldn't be able to stand most of them. C'oretta would get along well with most everyone but lord her and Jester and/or Fearne in the same place...Terrifying!

That's one off the top of my head, after a long holiday weekend thinking about it off and on, anyway!

[the-backspin-alchemist]

Favorite CR PC(s)?

Ah fuck.

This is karma. Entirely fair karma, but karma.

Uh let’s see…

I’m gonna settle for two per main campaign so far.

I really liked all of Vox Machina, but I was perhaps most ardently a fan of Percival Frederickstein vin Mussel Klossowski de Rolo III.

Taliesin gave *so many good speeches* as Percy. And had some *amazing* mental breakdowns.

Next would be Vex, because she’s the ranger (a class near and dear to my heart) has a bear (which is awesome, but Laura managed to make a big grizzly bear companion *cute*) and has a lot of really dope moments in the campaign.

Also I lied three PCs from Vox Machina because Grog. Dumb as rocks. Funny as hell. The most consistently loyal to his friends in all the small ways.

In Campaign Two I’m gonna say Fjord and Jester, although given how early on I am in catching up on CR2, I’m gonna say that that is easily subject to change. But Fjord is the mostly-principled one, and Jester is fucking HYSTERICAL while (currently) having hints of a sad backstory she hasn’t come to grips with and that is RELATABLE because I love playing characters that way too so honestly it feels like Laura Bailey just plays DND like I do a lot of the time

CR3 is gonna beeeeeee…oooof…okay another three-way tie with Fresh Cut Grass, Imogen, and Ashton.

Imogen…again, cool character concept, sad backstory with a hidden last the character can’t run from, generally trying to do right, lots of fun character moments from her, see previous statement about Laura Bailey playing the same way I have in most TTRPGs

Fresh Cut Grass is *literally Sam Riegel playing the personification of cognitive behavioral therapy.* It’s both wholesome and hilarious. Enough said.

Ashton is probably the standout, though, because they’re the outlaw with a personal code. The moment he decided to go “no, take gold, take some silver, leave copper, that’s just kicking someone while they’re down” I was like “alright, they’re gonna be my favorite, I can tell” and I was RIGHT because WOW has Ashton had a lot of fun character moments that showcases a chequered past that they aren’t always proud of but that he’s also still navigating the consequences of and also hasn’t shaken that he’s an honorable person despite being someone that doesn’t seem to care what level of work they’re doing so long as they’re doing work and getting paid, and it’s GREAT! Reminds me of all the reasons I absolutely loved Mal Reynolds in Firefly.

[jessicafurseth]

Reading List, Airplane Nap edition.

"I must tell you that in private life I have no patience at all with lunatics." - Sigmund Freud

*

Jenny Odell's book about reclaiming our attention was my favourite pandemic read - her new one is about time, and I am SO stoked. Here's her interview in Wired and also, in GQ: "Everyone Has the Same 24 Hours” Is Not a Good Way to Think About Time Management"

“I did literally all of the things I was told to do to be successful, and yet I still lack stability on so many levels. ... So my midlife crisis is probably me reckoning with these feelings and having to figure out how to move forward and how to modernize my approach and manage my expectations.” Midlife was supposed to come with stability, but for millennials, it's merely another crisis. This Isn’t What Millennial Middle Age Was Supposed to Look Like [Jessica Grose, The New York Times - free link]

The international mystery of ‘the Hum’ [Imogen West-Knights, FT Magazine]

How My Daughter's Rescue Dog Helped Me Deal with Her Addiction [Caleb Daniloff, Runner's World] [via Culture Study]

Meet Marlena Fejzo, the scientist who solved the mystery of extreme pregnancy sickness [Alice Callahan, The New York Times - free link]

"I don’t think a conversation about whether sex work or pornography is good or bad is particularly useful. The conversation I hope to have isn’t about morality. It’s about a blindspot." Beyond Deep Throat [Saskia Vogel, Granta]

If older women like Helen Mirren ‘shouldn’t have long hair’, when do I have to cut mine? Excuse me, whatnow? [Victoria Richard, The Independent]

"I am seeing evidence that people taught knowledge management for its own sake produce unexciting work. This is not a genetic condition. I think they could do better if they wrote what they knew, rather than what they recorded." Notes Against Note-Taking Systems [Saskia Chapin]

Life is easier with a Fake Assistant [Ella Quittner, The Cut]

What TikTok does to your mental health (TL;DR nothing good) [Kari Paul, The Guardian]

Dansk and the Promise of a Simple Scandinavian Life [Alexandra Lange, The New Yorker]

"This has been the biggest revelation to me: just how many drinks I have had in my life that I didn’t really want. Drinking for the sake of drinking. It’s madness. Because, let’s be honest, it is only the first one that has any real impact anyway. The rest is just habit." Adrian Chiles cut back on booze [The Guardian]

London's Overground lines are finally, actually, to be given separate names, and I am genuinely at the edge of my seat. [Jonn Elledge, CityMonitor]

[lenabloggingthingy]

what if ruidus is holding the planes in place? 

okay hear me out. i was looking at what the planerider ryn journal said in campaign 2 cause i always forget the exact wording, and it talks about a shift in the structure between the planes (maybe the calculations are for the next apogee solstice who knows, it sure sounds very much like it). also about some “disturbance in their calculations, a cyclical, months long, slow surge in low level magical interference that then recedes just as slowly” you know, like the slow cycle of ruidus meyhaps? “too faint to identify the arcane nature” maybe because it’s blocked from being truly ascertained? you know, like ruidus?

ryn goes on to ask if it pertains to the shifting between veils, and what if they are conected? what if ruidus is up there to hold everything in place?

it was placed there somewhere along the founding apparently, it could be when they created different planes and needed to keep them apart or close enough or whatever

could also explain the conection of the ashari to all of this, as they are in charge of keeping the balance between planes. maybe it’s like the gau drashari and the tree of names and that’s where the layer of protection to not see ruidus for it’s complete nature from exandria comes from

in the happy fun ball in campaign 2, the stained glass that had a depiction of the planes (with no divine gate beacause halas was precalamity) had as a center piece a round stone the colour of a ruby in the middle of it that held the window together, you would touch it and it would shatter. what if that’s supposed to be ruidus holding all the planes together, literally

and before leaving campaign 2, the cognouza ward was attacked by a psychic storm when it arrived at the astral sea. what if that was like ruidus shooting a ray of sorts beacuse someting that shouldn’t have, had crossed planes and it was a defense mechanism built into ruidus or something. like ruidus going where the fuck you think you’re going. or maybe it was the same people that put that storm on the surface of ruidus to keep prying eyes away from it’s real surface, like some gau drashari equivalent

maybe the flares are sudden leaks between planes, or them coming a little closer together for a moment, and it provokes a spike of energy or it’s a reaction from ruidus to put them back in place, like the equivalent of an earthquake (tanks @ciriaquer for the analogy), this could explain why some ruidus born (aka imogen) are fey touched, beacuse when they were bron the two planes, material and feywild, where closer than normal

what if the machine the unseelie court was trying to build with the moontide crown was to merge the feywild and the material plane, and maybe that’s what the destruction of the feywild that oliander had a vision of meant

also what if there’s two planes that we don’t know about, created by the two forgotten gods from the vasselheim papers, and they’re gonna become known with this apogee solstice?

who knows who knows, too many questions and so few answers still

[12pt-times-new-roman]

c3e33

We've already split the party. This is gonna go great.

The Call doesn't seem to have very many spellcasters.

The assailants have taken one of the walls of the Seat of Disdain, and they're attacking from on top of it by lobbing attacks over and taking cover behind the parapets.

"I'll reach out to cast Spare the Dying, but I'll hesitate, because I don't know what it'll do to me." .....huh. But they're fine with casting shield of faith.

The Treshi boxes are broken open and they have "dozens of small crystal vials, about a foot long" with "dark, viscous gray liquid." Both Fearne and Ashton got some of them.

Looks like Fearne took a 6th level in druid!

It looks like all these explosions are from literal explosives and gunpowder, not from spells. The attackers are heavily wrapped in cloth and cloaks, to a point where it seems intentionally vague, and they are predominantly using firearms.

Oh fuck this was a distraction to get Treshi, wasn't it? There's an unconscious guard and their keys are already gone.

It's Artana Vo! I fucking knew it!

She's a ranger with the Hunter archetype, and is at least 7th level.

That's like 4 natural 20s in this sequence alone. I can't wait to see when and how fast this pendulum is gonna swing

Vo was going to take Treshi back to Jrusar, just like the Hells, and is now loosely helping them! Which further reinforces my thinking that Orym seeing her was Matt throwing them a bone and giving them an alternative path to the same goal.

Oh my god the controls of the skirmish crawlers are like those lawn mowers that you ride and drive with the bars

Fearne got one of the Cerberus Assembly boxes!!

jesus fucking christ

Otohan is just standing up there on a balcony, watching the chaos, when Laudna climbs up the front of the fortress with spider climb into her fucking face and casts darkness. this is INSANE and one of the most cinematic things to happen in this campaign so far

Laudna has planted the tracking ring on Otohan Thull.

"Whoever you are, your timing is curious."

I didn't see it before, but I'm definitely getting sense now that Orym is desperately looking for a leader and desperately trying not to let himself be a leader.

Ashton rage build update: Ashton can open a portal to a space adjacent to the target of their attack, but it expends a use of their Chaos Burst ability. They don't seem to be able to open a portal unless they attack.

Otohan is waiting for them outside the Seat of Disdain. "Let's have a conversation, shall we?" "Three shadowy versions of herself appear around her, wearing dark leathers somehow darker than her own."

This sounds similar to what an Echo Knight can do, but they can only ever have 2 echoes at a time (which they get at 18th level).

break time!

These shadowed versions of her move independently, so they're not from the mirror image spell, and they're the same as the assassins in Zephrah. They also have veeeeery low HP.

Otohan appears to also have psychically-oriented power with a save DC higher than 15.

She knows Eshteross to an extent, but so do a lot of people; he used to be a pretty public feature.

FCG's sympathetic binding seems to be hurting them now — they reacted negatively when they gave a bonded blessing to Imogen.

"Perhaps the rest of you are weak, like sheep that bleed for a higher power. You deserve only ashes, then."

Initiative!

Aaaaand there's the pendulum swing.

Yeah, Matt referred to these things as "echoes." So I'm betting that she's an Echo Knight with a couple additional things to give her more of a chance in a 1v7.

No, she's a psi warrior. Protective Field is a 3rd-level psi warrior ability, as is Psionic Strike, and as far as I'm aware you can't multiclass subclasses — so whatever these echoes are, they're not from the Manifest Echo ability, and might not even be dunamancy-based. Maybe they're something to do with that mirror that Yu had, with corrupted versions of fey creatures and Unseelie assassins inside it?

bitch what the fuck??? Matt's talking like she has the Manifest Echo ability, and literally called it that, but she also has psi-powered leap, a 7th-level psi warrior ability. but she's not using the unleash incarnation ability (which echo knights get at the same time as manifest echo), which makes me pretty sure that this is an item or potion that's giving her the ability to do this.

god, Imogen telling Laudna to run in such a breathy and desperate voice while there's a sandstorm swirling around her and purple lightning streaking through red clouds, with Otohan Thull and her assassins darting through the peripheries of her vision like ghosts, just like all of Imogen's dreams......

is this the closest we've ever gotten to a TPK? is this what all you fuckers felt like when you watched the Lorenzo/Tombtakers fights live???

Ashton rage build update: Whenever Ashton brings an enemy below 0 hit points with their space build active, they can teleport up to 60 feet to an unoccupied space they can see.

Imogen started this shit, let's hope she can finish it

Fearne has Enhanced Bond, which means she took a level in druid when she leveled up.

NAT 20 DEATH SAVE

"Not yet, my child. We have much to do."

Okay yeah, pretty sure Otohan's getting this from an item or potion. She's got all the abilities of Manifest Echo but nothing else.

Fearne has Revivify prepared automatically. it's a circle spell for her, it's always prepared. and we know FCG has a diamond. I never wished I had kept track of their spell slots more--

Otohan -> Fearne: "You carry the seed... just not as strong as others'."

"The Moontide Crown. Ira. We know where it is. Do you want it? You have to stop." and a 22 persuasion check by Laudna. "We got a direction. The Panagrip Sands."

Otohan -> Imogen: "You're so close... the more you run from it, the more you lose. There is greatness in you, and our time is soon. Embrace it, or be culled like the rest."

Imogen feels something in her chest, the power and the fear that always accompanies her dreams. "The storm rages in your belly. Do you fight it?" "I'm not losing them to just surrender to you." "'You are not surrendering to me, but to your nature.' That same burning, growing, alluring sensation somewhere deep in your soul, in the very essence of every fiber of your being, is going now, now, and she sees it, there's excitement, like a teacher waiting for a student to have a breakthrough... [You let them go.] 'You give in, or you all die. I only need the strongest of us.'"

"You don't choose to give in, you let go when the time is right."

"That burning in your stomach is screaming. It is bellowing... That call is screaming to you. Do you continue to resist? [I'll go with you.] 'Let go, and give in to your nature.' As that burning storm within you burns up, you feel a tidal surge pulling you under, like the ocean swallowing you up, but it's nothing but red, warm, crackling fury. As it does, the entire landscape around you turns red — the dust storm, the wind, freezes, the sand just frozen in the air. Those of you who are still here notice as the coloration of the city turns a deep, deep red. 'Yes, yes! This is it!' The space around her shakes and adjusts, and as you scream uncontrollably, all that fury and vengeance within, as you unleash it, you watch as the buildings tear away, you are all dragged along with the whirlwind and everything goes white."

aKJHJHDGFKAJHLFDA MATT WHY

I have. Thoughts. to be elaborated upon.

[yjwhatif]

YJ EPISODE 23 SPOILER NOTES… only three episodes left 😣

First off I would like to start proceedings with the following statement… ED IS NOT IN THIS EPISODE AND THAT IS A CRIME!… okay move on to what was actually in the episode…

Its that lizard kid from Cuba

Oh no Wilhelms leading the mob

Brion returns with a new suit and team... including Papa Smurf - thats Now two Metas who were at Taos last season (and yet there's no Ed in this episode)

So Wilhelm's a Meta? Or is it Everyman has been pretending to be Wilhelm?

New look for violet - looking lovely in pink

Violet can now levitate other things - Could they be one of the most powerful character in the series?

That is exactly how one should go up the stairs when in the presence of a friend who can levitate stuff

I very much prefer this Harper - it just shows how capable a person is to change when given the love and support they deserve from a stable home environment. She genuinely seems happy.

Wait, Harper was actually dating someone? I figured she was just lying about that... Y 'know what, the less we discuss that event the better

Yay for Harper actually communicating her feelings whilst also not pushing for Violet to immediately reciprocate (It kinda reminds me of Imogen in Heartstopper)

The confess feelings and run away move

Ooh that eyebrow raise at the mention of M’gann - I really think she's the only one capable of bringing Conner back from this

That is serious commitment to your cause - sticking your hard straight into boiling lava!

“I've pledged my loyalty to Zod” - Oh no - that's not good.

“you mean, you'll do them like you did your uncle" - Brions reaction to this is so interesting - he doesn't show anger or disrespect - he's taken aback in a way that almost shows hurt or regret at now being known for such a thing

Love seeing Fury noticing something isn't right with Baazovi

TAOS mention! (yet no Ed in the episode!)

This episode's really gonna go and convince me that I was wrong for hating on Brion, isn't it? Baazovi is really swaying peoples opinions - Brion is showing genuinely reasonable thinking and clearly wants the best for his people and Metas -but he's never going to achieve those desire while he remains under the thumb of Baazovi and the light.

WE RETURN TO TAOS! (And yet we still have No Ed in this episode!)

Group therapy session with Dinah - bring it on. I've said this before but I do like how much we’re actually seeing of the mental health check in sessions and now in more forms than just one on one. The fact that everyone is so open with each other here emphasises how these sessions must have been going on for a while in the background for everyone to be so comfortable with each other.

So we have 3 outsiders, 2 Team-ers, 1 Leaguer, and Gar - I like that there's a range of people at the session

Vic & Violet’s friendship is great - I kinda always forget that its a thing and then they have moments that remind me - and then I'm like - oh ye, Violet literally saved his life so many times and that meant a lot to him.

I just had to look this up - but I did not realise Lia was supposed to be Scottish!

"Gee, I wonder who that could be?” I love this more chilled out Tara - She's fun.

"Who we talking about?"" You don't have to give us a name" - Dinah trying to reign in the teens

Dinah truly is awesome!

GET JACE OFF MY SCREEN RIGHT NOW! I HATE HER AND EVERY WORD THAT ESCAPES HER MOUTH! She is Umbridge level evil!

Stop brainwashing the kid! And get him away from Jace!

"I do not like the look of this" - there may be hope for Brion - If we can just get him away from Baazovi - hopefully Fury can help with that

"Please, say nothing!"… *Conner immediately snitches* — Well, I guess now we know why Dick never told Conner any of the secret plans

Markovia really is a mess - that poor minister guy

Callback to the start of Z's arc

Poor Dick - he's losing everything

Wingman is freaking adorable!

Dinah's face at the idea of Gar doing his business outside as a dog

Oh Leslie seriously has the feels for Andi - are we gonna final get some confirmation on these two?

Gars making some serious improvements and we love him for it! He's doing the time and committing to the work

“I know I'm not ready for the outsiders right now” - It'll be interesting to see how the Bart and Conner situations may/may not effect that decision.

"She can get us out!?" - They just got very intense very quickly

"She won’t take you…She hates you - called you a tyrant" - The betrayal on Phantom Girls face! Conner stop talking!

First time seeing how the Zods respond to someone who opposes them

"You will kneel before Zod"

Phantom Girl crying as she leaves Conner behind - and when you consider the commitment she made to save him from the explosion in the first place - putting her hand in literal lava - you can really feel for her now

That scream of pain

That shot of Brion alone in his throne in complete silence really highlights how isolated he's become by following this path

The genuine look of happiness Brion has at seeing Violet - I'm really feeling for Brion in a way I did not expect!

Halo's got a costume redesign and I love the new style - the only thing I don't really like is the purple that's still on the hood - it just doesn't go with the red, Yellow and blue that's now on the body. I don't think it would bother me as much if there was some other purple bits else where - like on the hand and feet bits that are now red, or even a slight purple outline at either side of the rainbow. Other than that I really like it - it really shows that they are taking control of all aspects of their life - which is great!

“I missed you!”

I like this conversation that they having

PISS OFF BAAZOVI!

You tell him Vi!

"I have continued my journey but you are still stuck where I left you a year ago!" → Which highlights an interesting parallel between the scenes at Taos and those in Markovia - Dinah stressed the fact that everyone there was in complete control of the experience they had there - no one was being told what to do or how to do it - they guide each other but ultimately make their own choice on how to progress. As we see from both gar and violet, this makes for a really positive experience which helps a person change for a better. Where as with Brion, he's surrounded by those who are manipulating him, making his choices and tricking him into believing they are his own - he's stuck in the same state he was in a year ago because he has no control in his own kingdom or in being his own person - he's basically a puppet tied in place with no way to brake free. The can't progress because he isn't allowed to - and so he'll remain stuck until he finds a way to gain some control back in his life... though I doubt that's gonna happen any time soon.

SHUT UP BAAZOVI!

You tell him Brion!

Fury + Brion confiding in each other... though I just had a horrible feeling of what if one of them isn't who they appear to be?!

Violets finally moving on

"TA-DAH!" hey that's Bart’s thing!

Why is the image of a gremlin hugging a packet of Chicken Whizees so adorable?

"Hope you enjoy them!" Grumpy Grayson

"I hate keeping secrets" No you don't! I appreciate that Kaldur gives him the side eye at that - there is absolutely no one who believes you Dick

I do get why they're not involving M’gann - though I do think she's the only one who will be able to actually save Conners mind

"Feeding you my power" - again calling back to Zs arc

"Next Stop, the Phantom Zone"

The Hall of Justice is finally getting rebuilt?!… I wonder how long it’s gonna take for that to get blown again… maybe keep the youngsters away from it this time?

I love all the little cheers of Celebration - "Neptunes Beard!"

So while there was no Ed content ☹️ or anymore Bart development - which I had a feeling might happen - this was still a seriously enjoyable episode and it really had a season 1 vibe about it - at least to me it did anyway. I did not expect what we got with Brion but I did actually like seeing it and realising he’s maybe not the evil villain I was expecting him to be. It’s actually kinda sad how controlled he is. In contrast, it makes me really happy to see how much Violet has grown whilst on their journey of self discovery and seeing how much control and confidence they now have is a really uplifting sight to see. Bring on the next episode!

LB

[punkscowardschampions]

Mattie & Lulu & Dolly (mostly)

PlanityPlan: Okay, so we wanna get down what Mattie, Lulu and Dolly are like, that’s the main point

PlanityPlan: but then we wanna pinpoint the time of this reunion for their storyline together, so we can then say what Jay is up to, Beckett not really ‘cos he’s a child but we could also say what we wanna do with you eventually here because we are planning to use him but yes, kind of unrelated but not

PlanityPlan: So it’s like, individual story, what they’re like, the lives they’re living, and then the storyline we’ll do with them together

PlanityPlan: OKAY so Mattie doing an accelerated 2-year Maths and Computer Science degree at Greenwich (57, 58) and then her PGCE which takes a year and in this year you do 2 school placements, 2nd placement at the girl's new school after gay teacher drama in Surval, so this 2nd meeting after first failed attempt at contact, in 59

PlanityPlan: Basically, energy being, making contact before starting Uni and the twins are like nah and then we show up at their new school (accidentally) and the twins relationship has suffered so now we have an in

PlanityPlan: OKAY OKAY so Mattie reaches out Summer 57, she's about to start Uni, the twins are 14 and just finished year 10, 58 teacher stuff to happen and come out year 11, 59 we move to new school year 12, Mattie starts placement too

Junie B Jones: The school I found for the twins is called Surval Montreux in Montreux Switzerland and they’d have been going there from age 12 (and leaving at 19) it’s obviously an international school but there’s a heavy focus on French in lessons as obviously because English is usually a 2nd language, but don’t even worry ladies cos there is only a maximum of 10 girls (cos it’s only gals) in your classes and 60 in the entire school

Junie B Jones: worth noting the finishing school bit from 17-19 cos your mother would love that for you and you can share a room no problem as it’s usually 2 or 3 anyways

PlanityPlan: So, do we be evil and say they have to share with another poor gal?

PlanityPlan: ‘cos we could run with that

Junie B Jones: that poor girl requesting a transfer cos they are so odd hahaha but yeah I say there’s potential there even if it was only for a while like maybe it’s lowkey a version of how they put me and Trace in separate classes cos the teachers are like UM

PlanityPlan: I see that, forcing you to stay involved, ‘cos with 60 people you’d have to be all up in each other’s business, like you’re for sure meant to see the teachers as friends/fam too

Junie B Jones: the website was very culty and that energy

PlanityPlan: which brings me to my first idea ‘cos I think it works on many levels beyond being a cliche

PlanityPlan: Okay so, I thought it’d be interesting to have a secret between them ‘cos how hard it’d be to keep

PlanityPlan: and then I thought that it’d be hilarious karma if Dolly had an affair with a female teacher but we actually let it go there

PlanityPlan: ‘cos it’d be a massive scandal even your parents can’t ignore and the girl gives off some gay vibes and it’d be like, a thing they can’t share in if Lulu isn’t gay like we share a boyfriend but we’re not sharing this teacher moment

PlanityPlan: and it’d probably get you both kicked out so we can time it when we want it and Chloe would be fuming about this lesbianism lmao

PlanityPlan: so with the whole culty school like this would be NEWS ‘cos they’re tight with the teachers clearly so it’s like ARE THEY ALL BEING GROOMED lmao

Junie B Jones: Lulu gives off the straightest vibes EVER so I am down & also the vibe that she would love that culty school

PlanityPlan: right so not only have you kept a love affair and gay from me, you’ve also ruined our school moment, it’d really shake them and their weird twin energy to it’s core, which is the fun of it all obvs

Junie B Jones: I see now why you agreed to share a boyfriend hun, also the potential for her to have a gay awakening with the roommate so hitting all those cliches

PlanityPlan: right, I’m not being gross but it’s true that all-girls school girls experiment together, facts, like Lulu probably joined it with it too but it’s like oh you actually like girls for real

PlanityPlan: but if Dolly isn’t just then living her best gay life and is trying to get shit back to how it was, I think it makes it different

Junie B Jones: the tea and also it seems like the kind of school where a teacher would go there, especially if it’s a younger/artsy one like that film Cracks that Imogen Poots was in, soz Nancy but most teachers won’t

PlanityPlan: it’s a cliche with posh schools for a reason, the bond is closer by the fact there’s not 30 kids in a classroom, there’s more opportunity for it to happen because you have actual relationships with all your teachers, whereas in normal schools they barely know your name lol

Junie B Jones: gross but necessary question being how long do you see the relationship spanning in secret before the big reveal

PlanityPlan: it should probably be somewhere between enough that it’s an actual thing that happened and not like, it happened once, like the teacher probably thinks they’re gonna be together if she doesn’t go to jail lol, but not so long that it is like, how’d you not know

PlanityPlan: it’ll be fun to like, play out, see how long we feasibly could

PlanityPlan: and if Lulu finds out before EVERYONE finds out, then she has to decide what to do with this info for a bit too, which would also be good

Junie B Jones: I love that because the twin vibe is very much like oh we can read each other’s minds haha bitch you thought

Junie B Jones: totally can picture Lulu snitching on you ngl gal

PlanityPlan: accidentally fucking yourself over when they kick the lot of yas out, a mood

PlanityPlan: NEW CO-ED SCHOOL IN SURREY, STILL BOARDING

PlanityPlan: maybe Lulu does care more about school in general, but also specifically that school and being one of the girls forever

PlanityPlan: ‘cos then it’s gonna be hard to win her back when you end up in another school, with boys dundundun

Junie B Jones: she very much comes across like that to me, not only because she’s clearly the clingy controlling twin here but I think she clearly likes how small and family like this school is trying to be cos of how chaotic and lacking their home life is, she’s definitely scared of boys & navigating socialising with them without making a tit of herself because of how little dealings she’s had so it’s gonna be a SHOCK

Junie B Jones: dobbing her sister in because 1. You think the teacher will get sacked and it’ll be over 2. You think you can score some points back and stay in the school’s good books

PlanityPlan: It’s honestly sad how much sense it makes, like you really buy all in with the family vibes and then ya twin fucks it all up, rude

Junie B Jones: okay idk how plausible this is but remember in Wild Child aka the greatest film of all time that boy is like the headteacher’s son, what if the boyfriend (Danny Griffin is his IRL name but I’ll give you a french af one in character boy) they share is like the son of someone who works at the school (obvs he doesn’t go there but like he’d have to live nearby and generally loiter) which is part of the reason Lulu picks him cos all the girls would want to but also she could tell him something about this and he’s like UM you have to dob her in

PlanityPlan: I see that, they can’t all be spinsters like this is an enid, they’d have families and stuff, I can vibe it because again, a thing if there’s any male in the vicinity we all lose our minds lol

Junie B Jones: and like obvs that’s why she got with him but there’s potential for an actual relationship to form with this boy on some level if we want

PlanityPlan: Yes, maybe you actually like him, because clearly Dolly doesn’t, have him to yourself hun, but also then you’ll have to move so rude

PlanityPlan: Another reason to be fuming when you were the clingy twin before, role reversal

Junie B Jones: and another reason to not want to leave because I can’t imagine that your parents will move you to another school in Switzerland because it’s tiny and the scandal so literally in a different country

PlanityPlan: yeah, we’d probably move you to the uk like we’re going to be more involved like doubt that lads but you know

Junie B Jones: my thoughts exactly

PlanityPlan: so the question is do we want to do this before Mattie gets in contact or after

PlanityPlan: I’m leaning towards before so then 1. You’ve got a chance of getting in but 2. You can also help or not help them get on better terms, whatever we vibe

Junie B Jones: maybe when she first gets in contact it’s a secret still so we get the best of the both worlds, cos like you’re gonna get stonewalled then hun but when it all pops off you can be there

Junie B Jones: just cos I’m thinking if it’s all happened by the time they’re 16 that’s slightly drama but then again we’ve done worse lol

PlanityPlan: That’s a good idea, it makes the most of it for sure

PlanityPlan: I’m not sure what the age of consent is but that might affect how in deep shit this teacher gets

Junie B Jones: it’d be a way to show how their dynamic and relationship changes from a POV that isn’t just their own

PlanityPlan: for sure and then we can have the outcome be not just down to their new school and their parentals

Junie B Jones: poor Mattie getting way more drama than she expected

Junie B Jones: are you having her go to a UK uni because obviously relevant because this isn’t getting resolved in a summer hol

PlanityPlan: I’m kind of vibing no uni, honestly

PlanityPlan: because a lot of gen 4 do go and it isn’t the only option

Junie B Jones: love that for her tbh

PlanityPlan: So yeah, you’ll be around for sure

Junie B Jones: do you have a job/career in mind yet?

PlanityPlan: not really, like I see you being a bit lost in that sense, which is fine because you’ve got a lot in other respects and you’re looked after, but it’s definitely a vibe of not knowing what you want to do, but not just doing uni ‘cos as most people in that situ do, so you probably have lots of random jobs

Junie B Jones: that’s legit cos loads of people don’t know what they wanna do but don’t have the luxury of taking time to figure it out but she does & lowkey it doesn’t matter if she never does cos like you said she’s fine in a lot of other ways

PlanityPlan: like I won’t let you be insufferable with it and not work and just bum about but you’re just striking me as work-driven, which a lot of characters are again, so I’m not mad

Junie B Jones: I like it

PlanityPlan: So it’s just working out what your actual main motivation is, which I think could be tied into getting in contact with this fam

PlanityPlan: as we’re saying Jay doesn’t really want to, so it’s a difference there

PlanityPlan: and it’ll be good to have it not a total failure if you do make something with the twins but we know you won’t with Chloe so there’s the struggle with that

Junie B Jones: it pleases me because the obvious and cliche thing to do would be to have Jay be the one trying to do this as she actually has memories of and issues with Chlo whereas Mattie is basically Ava’s child

PlanityPlan: and I don’t think it resembles like, Edie’s feelings about Drew and Caleb etc either, it’s not like I NEED you to be my mum because you biologically are

PlanityPlan: it’s just lowkey a curiosity like, people can’t just vanish from our lives like that, like what are they doing, ‘cos you know their main house is still in London too, like it’s just like, why shouldn’t I look into this

Junie B Jones: agreed, it’s not coming from a place of having a deficit, she’s happy and has everything she needs in that sense, so it makes sense for her to only gain from it

PlanityPlan: and it is naive but that is how I vibe her being in a not really annoying way lol, not a jaded character though

PlanityPlan: and it will be shit when Chloe is Chloe but it won’t destroy her or anything it’s just like oh god, what is wrong with her though

Junie B Jones: and that’ll strengthen her relationship with Jay because she doesn’t wanna talk about all of that and you’ll get why in a way that you can’t unless you experience the crazy that is Chloe for yourself

PlanityPlan: exactly, like that can be a source of strain between you when you’re first deciding to do this

PlanityPlan: and you’d give Chloe a few chances ‘cos like I said you aren’t looking for a mum so you’d be trying to lowkey work it out and being empathetic so she’d probably actually love that ‘cos she’s a narcissist so it’d be a bit dicey

PlanityPlan: suddenly wants to tell you every drama in her life like poor me

Junie B Jones: how real

PlanityPlan: ‘cos you can think you’re like objective and just putting the mystery together but you’re gonna get dragged in, clearly

PlanityPlan: especially combine this with the twin drama which you do genuinely care about

Junie B Jones: mhmm, Lulu is gonna drag you in gal, not like she can bring these emotions and drama to her new school when it’s a scandal and this is supposed to be a fresh start

PlanityPlan: which is what you were warned about/one of the reasons we left it ‘til you were grown but you’ll have to work this all out, which will be good

PlanityPlan: ‘cos you can’t be dealing with your younger sister’s drama instead of living your own life but clearly at a point here we are ‘cos bit lost

Junie B Jones: you’re so clever boo, this is such a good idea that flows

PlanityPlan: heheh, I think it makes sense if you’ve had such a chill upbringing and the twins have not that this chaos can take over your life and drag you in

PlanityPlan: I’d like to think we all get to a healthy place gals but we’ll see tbh

PlanityPlan: as for who Dolly is… I think she never bought into the school as hard, like it’s probably better than home, not that we’d know, but we’re not like omg this is IT

PlanityPlan: same with the boyfriend clearly, none of it is as real but the twin bond is so like may as well until the gay drama comes along

PlanityPlan: but then that’s lowkey over before it’s begun so then we go into overdrive of trying to win her back

Junie B Jones: which Lulu is not having sis

PlanityPlan: like in reality we should accept our truth and start working on separate personalities but we’re like no no

Junie B Jones: potential for how far aka too far she can try and take winning her back, like that creepy book energy

PlanityPlan: deffo, like we’ll have to think of ways but if we’re going all-in on this, there isn’t reason not to

PlanityPlan: ‘cos we don’t care about school or whatever mum and dad are saying or doing

Junie B Jones: not gonna kill you off gal but oh the possibilities for danger cos lbr your grandparents can’t stop you either clearly

PlanityPlan: bless them they’re alright people but obvs a bit useless for all this to happen lmao

Junie B Jones: hence I vibe that Lulu totally walks all over/ has them wrapped around her little finger like Chloe did but more subtly because she has no nuance

PlanityPlan: deffo, oh lads

Junie B Jones: which is a shame when they could literally give you the family energy you want without need for a creepy cult school but hey, you’ve been taught to treat them like that

PlanityPlan: exactly

PlanityPlan: they should’ve lowkey took you in but we’re too posh for that and you’ll probably be fine right lmao

Junie B Jones: at least Dolly can stay with them when her parents are literally hate criming her

PlanityPlan: sad that you won’t ‘cos getting back in that closet so hard like will you forgive me if I’m straight and we’re still the same

Junie B Jones: it’s really sad like this isn’t sustainable huns and shouldn’t have been allowed to be a thing for this long

PlanityPlan: at least Mattie does have fresh enough eyes to be like, respectfully, maybe let’s not do this

Junie B Jones: just like Lulu don’t haze your sister thank you

PlanityPlan: right, I think this gives us energy to go on for all y’all

PlanityPlan: *** so the energy now is she can get more drawn in because she's literally there living at the school too, and after the placement, she's getting a permanent position at the school, so we can actually work through this together and have relationships etc etc

[iamayellowbird]

This is A LOT.

I see so many instances mental unhealth, heartbreak, distraught romanticized in the media and social media.

Let me set the record straight.

Tears don't always come the moment you realize a loss. Sometimes, they do. When it is absolute. Like the time I learned I lost my Oma or my dog Gina, I was near instantly overcome with intense anxiety and sadness. It was hard to breathe.

But other times, like this loss...it waits. It builds. You know the loss isn't absolute, but there is a loss.

The subject might not be lost to the world, but the subject is lost to you, seemingly for ever. You wait. You ponder.

Where is your place in the loss.

Could you have prevented it?

Can you make it easier?

No matter what in the end, a piece of you and the subject is lost forever. An idea you held on so dearly. A feeling. Hope. Love.

Loss. It waits. It builds.

You recite the story over and over, sometimes becoming teary-eyed, but never breaking.

You drive, triggered along the way, vision blurs, but never enough to slow you.

You feel, a building depth inside your being, welling up, taking up so much space, but nowhere to go.

You carry it with you. The weight. Day to day, interaction to interaction. Hoping it goes unnoticed. Maybe it does, in some instances.

It does not feel unnoticed. The weight is real. You feel it. Swelling. Like a dam. That won't break. Just...release. You say "I'm ready" or "I have time now, go!" but it won't.

Grief does not operate on your logistic, convenient terms.

This is grief.

This is loss.

It hides behind a coping façade.

"I'm having a hard time" you say through tearless eyes.

"I'm doing okay" you say through calm, collected breaths.

You look fine.

You feel okay,

after a while.

Time passes.

"Okay I got this, let's move forward"

The song hits you in the gut.

This time its

can't get it out - Brand New (problematic, I'm aware)

Yes.

Someone knows the damn. Dam.

Eyes water. Okay.

Nose starts to run. I guess we're ugly crying now.

Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap (but the Amber Run cover so the lyrics hit different)

Hyperventilate. Suffocating. Gasp for air, frantically.

You know this...You've been here before. Acute loss.

Realization. Nothing will be as it was.

Comfort in another... gone.

You've been waiting.

"Come at me tears"

Be cathartic. Free me.

You've forgotten what entails a good sob.

Snotty nose. Can't breathe.

Desire to calm.

Desire to see it through and let it,

do what it needs. What you need.

Imagine a paper bag.

Now you know why you've seen them in comics or TV.

Slow. Down.

You imagine the bag sucked in against your nose a lips rapidly. Panic.

Was this the point? To make you feel suffocated?

No. The point is to help regain control.

You control the bag, you control your breath.

In for 1...2...3...4

Out for 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8

That's what school, etc have taught me.

Slow down your out-breath. Worry less about IN.

OUT controls the parasympathetic nervous system.

You slow down. You feel okay.

Okay, let's carry on.

Big Black Heart–Better Oblivion Community Center

Do you deserve calm right now? How is the subject? Do they ache?

You know others have ached like you ache.

Tears for them. All.

You can't possibly be calm already.

The hurt can't be this small.

Just a few minutes? A song?

No.

You let your paper bag be caught in the wind out a window.

You have not hurt enough, through your lungs.

Chest.

There is still hurt stored. Like batteries.

Waiting to be used.

Okay.

"Come at me while I'm hot"

"I got this"

And you mean it, this time.

You can stop it anytime you want.

All you need is a paper bag.

In your mind.

Hyperventilate again.

Claw at your arms.

Good thing you just trimmed your nails.

Dig in, but don't leave marks.

Claw/grab at your ribcage like you're trying to free your lungs.

Escape.

From this bone prison. Person.

Let it out. Yell. Let it outside you.

Give it to the universe,

so that,

it may find

who needs to know it's okay.

Okay to feel and act unhinged when you are safe.

Okay to sob or ugly cry until you literally can't breathe because for days, weeks, or months, it has already felt like you couldn't

anyways.

Wait it out. Like a storm.

Collect, breathe, take a break.

Cry. Sob again. Hyperventilate.

Collect.

Not like a storm,

you CAN control this.

You get to have this time.

If you are lucky, it will wait.

Until it is "socially acceptable"

Until you have privacy.

In the evening.

Alone.

When just the right songs come on in succession.

Like the universe knows–and it does–what you need.

Well heck. I'm here to say you don't need to be alone.

You don't need privacy, if you can't get it–to feel grief.

And heck, you shouldn't have to wait for privacy.

Sadness. Grief. Loss.

These are human.

"Coping" day to day...or "functioning" as society would prefer you to...

Shut it down. Out.

Move along now.

Forward.

You got this.

Distract.

Whatever means possible.

I'm here to show my ugly crying self.

Share how ugly loss and grief really is.

How ugly it is, and how privacy makes it uglier.

Hiding behind a mask that you're "fine" shuts people out.

People who want to support.

People who want to see your grief and hold space for it.

People who feel it bottled up, feel a damn dam.

Where is the release?

It will come when it does. We have no real say.

We can contain it for a time, but it has to go,

and it should. Go.

Calming your breathing is good. The paper bag helps. Regain your blood oxygen level.

Think.

Do I need more?

Do I have more to unload?

Is there more I'm willing to let go at this time?

Sometimes it's a yes. Sometimes no.

But if it comes knocking on your soul's door,

I hope you embrace it, give it space.

Grief needs space.

Hiding, minimizing does no favors.

Let it roar, so that it does not become

displaced

in anger

at others.

Give yourself the compassion to let it out

like you would an upset child, friend.

It is not pretty, but it does leave you feeling

lighter

unburdened or

less burdened.

And maybe, just maybe, your expression of grief will reach another person energetically to do the same.

Maybe someone who is attached or connected to your grief, so they can let it go too.

Or maybe, a random soul who just needs that

extra push

to know it's okay.

You're not alone.

[utilitycaster]

Feel free to answer whenever you feel like, but i just saw an ask you've answered where you said " FCG's attitude towards the Changebringer is Jewish, Imogen's attitude towards the gods is Goyish. "

As Goy myself i really would love to hear you expand on this because i never thought about it like that until now but i can kinda see it (??)

Ok now this is something i realized mid-writting this ask and, if this is something Sam thought of doing on purpose, maybe the lose cables or "hair" on FCG is a convenient way to introduce a more obvious bit of Jewish analogy by introducing an Exandrian Kippah equivalent (??)

So...this requires a lot of context that to be fair I think a lot of people might not have.

The *Lenny Bruce voice* is a reference to a comedy routine by Lenny Bruce, a Jewish comedian from the 1950s and 60s, in which he would just go through like...random things or people and assign them "Jewish" or "Goyish" based on vibes. Like...he sorts different cigarette brands as Jewish and Goyish. He calls Ray Charles (not Jewish irl) "Jewish" and Al Jolson (Jewish irl) "Goyish". It's like when people on Tumblr say "oat milk is a girl to me and almond milk is a boy" or whatever. It's cultural rather than religious, and worth noting that Goyish in this context is often equated more with WASP attitudes than with Christianity on the whole. (For more, see some brief commentary here).

This is actually based on broad philosophy and not specifics, and actually the kippah example you give is kind of specifically the sort of representation I tend to oppose, because it's frequently the representation given. A lot of Jewish representation in fiction takes surface-level elements and is like "cool! Jewish character created! Done," because they threw a kippah on someone or had them leave a small rock on a gravestone. In the Christmas episode, they'll have one character who has never engaged with Jewish culture in any other context be like "don't you mean...Happy Hanukkah?" and then that's the last you've heard of it. You can make a character who smashes a glass at their wedding until you're blue in the face but, as I've said many times, one of my favorite forms of "representation" in media remains the comic version of G. Willow Wilson's run of Ms. Marvel, a Muslim character. Because that actually understood my high school experience! That had the complexities of being in a public high school but needing to miss events due to religious obligations the Christian majority did not have, or not being able to eat the pepperoni pizza my friends ordered! That actually captured my day-to-day lived experience, rather than being like, a weird archaeological dig into "Jewish Ritual Objects And Practices" that are then pinned onto a character like they're Jewish Barbie. A Kippah placed on a character who has an otherwise extremely Christian mentality is just a hat on a guy.

So anyway the reason FCG's coin strikes me as a very Jewish practice is not because it's literally indicative of any specific Jewish rituals. It's because it's very much a dialogue with a higher power that provides a lot of room for interpretation and even disagreement. And it's very focused on the here and now - FCG comes to the conclusion that the details of the Changebringer are not going to be answered and are not technically relevant; what matters is their actions in this time. Like, the decision FCG makes in episode 53, to go into the Grand Disc to see if they can help, is explicitly "if we cannot get a direct answer from a deity, we need to focus on living out their values and helping people." Meanwhile, Imogen's initial attitude towards the gods doesn't really grapple with the idea that people have free will and actions ultimately speak far louder than words, which is antithetical to the Jewish philosophy. Like, Judaism doesn't really have a solid idea of the afterlife (there are multiple vague concepts with no real consensus other than 'really not the most important thing to focus on') and while it does have a concept of souls it's sort of like...the divine within us all. The Ruby Vanguard ideology is remarkably consistent with (for example) Calvinist predestination and presumes a monolithic attitude with little room for questioning or free will that is entirely foreign to my upbringing, and even considering it for a second feels bizarre to me. Which isn't to say it's bizarre for Imogen to do so because, well, she's not Jewish, but it is philosophically incompatible with pretty much any Jewish worldview.

This was a very long way of saying "Jewish representation for me needs to be about ongoing day-to-day lived experience and philosophical outlook and as such most representation fails because it's single moments in time - a specific holiday or custom used as a lazy shorthand for an entire diverse religion and subculture. Within a world that is always going to be incompatible with the basic tenets of Judaism re: ethical monotheism and six thousand years of highly specific historical events, what I find most relatable is attitudes towards the divine that I find compatible. And FCG's attitude towards the divine is compatible, and Imogen's is not."