#imaginary corn

[kazieka]

i think the sexiest sexyman thing that Cecil Gershwin Palmer ever did was when a religious extremist tried to evangelize on his community radio program so Cecil asked “hey what’s your favorite kind of weather” and played the weather over the rest of his statement

[99problemsandallofthemarefandoms]

Get this person listening to Nightvale folks! ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD!

ok...so after some guy who's apparently from the series won the tumblr sexyrematch, I feel like I'm legally obligated to do this, but I'm also mildly concerned...but here goes

if this post gets 100k notes I'll watch nightvale

[thousand-winters]

Okay, that's rather cute

[vilevilescorpio]

"You have to choose quick this time. You chose: the mouth. Wow, really?"

Episode 255 - The John Peters Imaginary Corn Maze Experience

[bloody-sick-of-1973]

Yeah anyways making House md ocs isnt a want but but it IS a NEED btw

[siesporamor]

What the s3 Violetta love triangle is supposed to be: León vs. Clement/Alex

What the s3 Violetta love triangle actually is: Violetta vs. Violetta with a wig

[computercreature]

coming up with night vale comic ideas is so dangerous because if left to my own devices i WILL just squeeze in as many references as possible and it WILL be 20 pages

[whetstonefires]

I do get why there's this reaction against that bit of that sentence, but it's also kind of annoying to me because the context of that part of the thread was pretty blatantly 'addressing people who assume the obesity epidemic is a real factual thing' and recontextualizing one of the pieces of data that props that narrative up.

That is, the genuinely very real existence of people--especially kids--who are generally getting enough calories, and yet are still chronically malnourished, and experiencing health problems as a result of that. The malnourishment.

Because there really truly are so many people who need protein and fiber and various micronutrients and other things that are In Food, but can only manage to consistently obtain the macronutrients to satisfy their energy requirements, and thus are not starving, but are also not very well.

The mainstream, fat-as-bad-choice approach to this is 'education,' and the argument being presented is that you can't educate people out of a food desert, the problem is systemic; they are not choosing to be malnourished, they need to be offered actual choices, not useless patronizing advice.

Therefore the (real actual) existence of these people and their real difficulties cannot and should not serve as a weapon to support the narratives of the diet industry about health, and how people need to discipline themselves better to achieve it.

The objective here is to disrupt the conflation of bullshit about fatness and bullshit about poverty, so that it's harder to use each set of prejudice to reinforce the other. The focus is on the poverty because that's the area where a specific policy aim is being sought.

So the reaction against the use of the term in that context starts to look a lot like when people complain that arguments emphasizing that homeless people are often victims of circumstance (and those people clearly don't deserve to be criminalized so maybe anti-homeless laws are bad huh), or defending gay rights with relatable scenarios like not being able to visit one's husband in the hospital, are insufficiently radical, and therefore worse than useless.

Sometimes you gotta meet people where they're at yk?

there's that post going around that's a short twit thread talking about "the obesity epidemic" as a result of economic oppression and everyone's snapping their little fingers for it but like. you guys know that we achieved socialist utopia tomorrow there would still be fat people right. you guys know that genetics play a bigger role in that than anything else and that some people will just be fat regardless of every other factor in their life right. you guys know that's fine right.

like idk I don't think it comes from a purposefully fatphobic place and like yes it sucks a lot that the demands of capitalism deny people a lot of opportunities to cook or learn to cook and be more engaged and intentional about their food. but it has this flavor of "poverty is bad because it makes people fat," which only holds up as an argument if you agree that being fat is a terrible thing that happens to people rather than being a completely neutral reality about some people's bodies.

anyone pulling any fatphobia on this post is getting blocked on sight I'm not playing.

[glow-worms-are-believers]

Dream Lover (dp x dc)

The alarm on his cellphone rang and Danny groaned as a fumbled blindly to close it again.

“Wha’ izzit?” Came a sleepy voice at his back.

Danny rubbed his eyes as he sat up. Then, he turned towards the other man entangled in the sheets.

“Nothing, go back to sleep,” Danny said before dropping a kiss on the man’s forehead, displacing his white streak. The man muttered some unintelligible words as he wriggled around a bit before settling back down.

Danny gave him a fond look before a yawn forced his eyes closed. He slipped off the bed and padded down to the kitchen. With bleary eyes he put the coffee machine on and got the milk out of the fridge as he waited for the beans be ground.

The machine was way fancier than anything Danny had ever owned but his boyfriend liked good coffee and Danny liked making him happy. The breaker-hammer noise stopped indicating the coffee was done and the halfa sipped at it as he tried to figure out what that niggling feeling in the back of his mind was.

Before he could delve into it very far, he heard his boyfriend coming into their little kitchen.

“Did the noise wake you up?” Danny asked as the man wrapped his arms around the smaller man’s waist and buried his head in his back.

“Was already ‘wake,” the octopus masquerading as a human mumbled.

“Want some coffee?”

“Please.” His boyfriend pressed a kiss to his nape before staggering towards the kitchen chair and sagging into it.

”Good night?” Danny asked as he started the machine again.

“The usual,” the man said as he rubbed the sleep out of his face.

“Why are you up early?”

“Gotta fix up the bike.” The man yawned which made Danny yawn too. “It kept backfiring last night.”

Danny hummed as that niggling feeling came back at the mention of the motorcycle. There was something there…

“What about you?” The man said as he held his face in his palm.

“Nothing much,” Danny said as he refocused on the conversation. “I don’t have to go in today, so I’ll probably just study.”

“I made butternut pasta when I came back. There’s some left for lunch,” his boyfriend said as he grabbed a banana from their fruit bowl.

“You’ll be here for lunch?” Danny asked as the flow of coffee stopped and he took the cup away from the little shelf.

“Thanks,” the man said as he accepted the cup. “Probably.”

Danny nodded and he leaned on the counter as he looked into the distance. His eyes caught on a clock and again, that annoying sensation he was forgetting something tickled him.

Clock meant hours which meant seconds which meant sand trickling in an hourglass which meant time passing and Time meant-

“Everything ok?” Came the low tenor of his boyfriend.

Danny shook away the thought and smiled at him. “Just zoning out.”

Then the smaller man finished his cup before he put it in the sink. “Gonna go brush my teeth,” he said as he walked out of the kitchen

“You didn’t even eat!” Came the voice Corning from the other room.

“Not hungry,” sing-songed Danny as he grabbed his toothbrush.

As he put the paste on the brush his mind wandered a bit. He started brushing, in the back and made his way forward. He was up to his canine and he started on his fangs which had him frown. Fangs? Wait a minute.

And then it all came rushing back. Phantom. Ghosts. This was a dream which meant-

“Nocturn,” Danny said. Sure it had been a while since he dated anyone but this was a whole new level of single if Nocturn had resorted to creating the ideal boyfriend to trap him in a dream.

Danny walked back to the kitchen and stood in the door entrance and stared at his imaginary dream boyfriend. Said boyfriend turned his head around and lifted an inquiring eyebrow.

“You really are perfect,” Danny said.

“You say the sweetest things,” the dream-construct said and the corner of his eyes creased beautifully as he smiled.

Danny sighed wistfully before bending to kiss his cheek. “Until then, dream lover.”

With a snap the dream collapsed and the halfa opened his eyes to the green of the Infinite Realms with the ghost sensation on his lips.

Simultaneously, in one of his safe houses in Gotham, Jason’s eyes snapped open as his hand flew to his cheek.

[beomiracles]

i wanna request maybe yandere beomgyu (if you’re not comfortable it doesn’t have to be too crazy) but either way beomgyu x reader at like a halloween party or event where there’s a haunted corn maze that you have to find your way out of. It can be a group of people or something and beomgyu gets possessive/jealous over some interaction you have with someone else and takes you away from the rest of the group and you guys get lost in this haunted maze. beomgyu decides he wants to punish you for whatever you did to make him jealous and decides to pull you away to a hidden place in the corn field. maybe they have a sexy couples costume and they role play as them. (like beomgyu is a cop and you’re a sexy inmate or something) maybe there’s handcuffs involved? beomgyu has possible breeding kink maybe. maybe reader refers to beomgyu as sir? also if there’s something you don’t like or aren’t comfortable with you can change it but the whole corn maze idea seems really fun for kinktober😈🎃

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

DAY 28 : BEOMGYU + ROLEPLAY — “You think being sorry is going to get you out of this? That flashing me a pretty smile will solve everything?” — “No. Whores need to get punished”, he scowls, already reaching for the hem of your dangerously short dress as he pushes it over your hips. 

Role play is an activity in which consenting partners assume the roles of different characters in an imaginary scenario during sex.

pairings beomgyu x fem!reader warnings jealous!gyu, handcuffs, unprotected sex + creampie, orgasm denial, meandom!beomgyu, sub!reader, public sex, roleplay (officer!beomgyu x felony!reader), fingering, light biting?, sir kink.

#serene adds ✎ I tried to fit as much as possible, though there's no breeding kink and I'm not sure if beomgyu is that yandere.. but anyway :3

EVENT POST

“Officer, it’s not what it looks like!” Your giggles echo out over the tall rows of corn, growing high as the sky around you. The secluded corner of the maze is dark, only illuminated by a torch not far from the two of you. — Beomgyu pays your petty excuses little mind, his hands already working a pair of metal handcuffs around your wrists. You yelp as he secures the locking mechanism, and it makes a clicking sound. 

“Not what it looks like?” He huffs, finger clasping around your arms as he yanks you against the corn wall behind you. “Whoring around like that? Thinking you wouldn’t get caught? That’s a felony you know.” His gaze travels down the skimpy dress you wore, a flicker of desire washing over his otherwise stern expression. 

You wriggle against his tight grip, hands restrained behind your back. “Officer I promise it wasn’t..” — “Quiet.” Beomgyu snaps, his dark eyes boring into yours with a vigor you almost didn’t recognize. “And that’s sir to you.” 

The nickname made your thighs clench as you peer up at him through the false lashes you’d applied just hours prior. “I’m sorry, sir.” You whisper, biting your bottom lip as you bat those very lashes at him. Beomgyu huffs, a nasty smirk spreading across his face as he shoves you backward. You stumble over your own feet, unable to catch yourself as you plummet against the dirt covered ground with a small shriek. 

Beomgyu’s hand covers your mouth before you can make another sound and your eyes widen. “You think being sorry is going to get you out of this? That flashing me a pretty smile will solve everything?” — “No. Whores need to get punished”, he scowls, already reaching for the hem of your dangerously short dress as he pushes it over your hips. 

You squirm under him, arms stuck under the weight of your own body, making you helpless in his embrace. His mouth is warm on your neck as Beomgyu leaves a row of messy and uncoordinated kisses along your exposed skin, teeth dragging across the expanse of your shoulder, and you whimper when he bites down. — Sure you’d talked to the guy dressed as ghostface with the intention of riling your boyfriend up, but you’d never thought he’d take it this far. 

“B-Beomgyu..” You stammer, the words falling short as he shoves your already drenched panties to the side. “That’s not my name”, he seethes, not bothering to lift his gaze and look at you when he slides two fingers along your dripping cunt. — “B-But I… Sir, there’s people around and..” 

“And what?” 

His voice sounds nothing like him. Cold, and short in tone. And those dark eyes hold little familiarity as he finally looks at you. “That’s not a problem, no? Bet you’d like that. Fucking whore.” — The cruel and distant demeanor makes you throb, and part of you wonders where this side of Beomgyu has been hiding all along. 

You nod, biting the inside of your cheek as you let out a soft exhale. “Yes, sir.” The confirmation is barely above a whisper but the near wicked smirk he flashes you in return is unmistakable. — You barely manage to contain the moan ripping from your throat as he slides two fingers inside your fluttering cunt, thumb pressing against your clit as he forces another whine out of you. 

“Bet you’d love it to be fucked in front of everyone”, he grunts, his free hand working the zipper of his uniform costume. “Maybe I should. That’d let them know what they’re missing out on.” He slips a hand down his pants, groaning as he palms his stiff cock. You weakly shake your head, whimpering out a small, “N-No sir..” 

“No?” He asks, sounding disbelieving. His fingers withdraw from your cunt and he leans back on his knees, pulling himself free from his pants. You squirm on the ground before him, trying to wriggle yourself free from the restraints of the handcuffs, but it’s to no use. — “You’ve committed a crime”, he states, his face suddenly inches from your own, “And you need to be punished accordingly.” 

With that he pushes the head of his thick cock past your soaked folds, groaning at how your cunt drew him in. You muffle a small cry, bottom lip trapped between your teeth as your thighs tremble. — “You need to learn from this”, he then says as he sets a quick and rough pace, making the cuffs around your wrists jiggle uncomfortably. “There’s no use in punishments if you don’t learn your lesson.” 

“I won’t do it again, sir!” You promise him, trying your best to sound as convincing as can be. “I-It was a mistake..!” Your words come out staggered, interrupted by the moans forcing their way from your lips. — Beomgyu ignores you, his hands finding their way to your hair, gripping it tightly as he locks you in place beneath him. The dark and almost distant look in his eyes both terrifies and arouses you. “Empty promises mean nothing”, he spits, and before you know it, he’s got his lips on yours. 

You sigh into the kiss, back arching into him as you ignore the way the metal cuffs bit into your wrists. Beomgyu’s hips snap against yours, the force he used would surely love you sore for days to come. In the far distance, you could make out the faint voices of others as they tried to find their way out of the large maze. But they soon faded into mere background noise as Beomgyu’s teeth bit at your bottom lip. 

His rough and coordinated pace morphs into uneven jerks of his hips and moments later he’s releasing inside your cunt with a strained groan. The warm sensation filling your body is contrasting to that of the cold ground you lay on. — Though he barely gives you time to process what’s happened before he’s pulling out again. Leaving you longing for more. 

With a confused whine and small pout you look up at him. Beomgyu shoots you a questioning glance before that same sinister smirk returns. “What? You didn’t think I was actually going to let you cum?” — “What’s the use of a punishment if you don’t learn your lesson?”

kinktober taglist (send an ask to be added) — @sweetpotatogyu @aduh0308 @joieouioui @inkigayocamman @bambammtori @hkplushier @gyusoulz @eliluvsjjunie @velvetmoonlght @izzyy-stuff @hwanghyunjinismybae @lunathewritingcat @ninitorih @run4gyu @beestvng @bamgeutsz

[goose-duck]

Creepypasta incorrect quotes ⭐

~~~~~~

Nina: spirit Halloween opened up early and my poor money decisions are always open so I bought a bunch of stuff

~~~~~~

Jeff: so...are we the best or the worst?

Toby: yes, sir.

~~~~~~

Jeff: he doesn't have eyeballs bro- he probably doesn't have balls either...

~~~~~~

Nina: he's ugly, I love him

~~~~~~

Y/N: There's just something abt his lack of a mouth and being less fluffy that makes me want him

Toby: he can't scream

Y/N: perfect

~~~~~~

Jeff: best friends!!

Y/N: nooOOOOO!!!!

~~~~~~

EJ: I learn from the mistakes of people who take my advice

~~~~~~

Y/N: heading into work~

*explosion*

Y/N: or maybe not-

~~~~~~

Nina: so romantic~

Jeff: *screaming*

Nina: romance <3

~~~~~~

Y/N: Jack, why am I in this room?

EJ: am I responsible for you moving from room to room now?

Y/N: yes.

EJ: then stay in that room.

~~~~~~

Toby: it's an elevator

Masky: this is a ladder, Toby.

Toby: imagination ✨

Hoodie: just because you put a sign that says "elevator" doesn't mean it's actually an elevator.

Toby: imagination ✨

~~~~~~

Y/N: but not me, because no one can get mad at me

Jane: I feel like in an hour we're all gonna be mad at you for something

~~~~~~

Toby: I made a house, what did you make?

Sally: a balloon

Toby: wonderful

~~~~~~

Jeff: just don't be blind

EJ: wow, you've cured me

~~~~~~

Toby: someone please take me off this fucking planet

~~~~~~

Y/N: Don't look at ceilings when ur tired. Never know what you'll see.

Toby: context, please

Y/N: Thought I had a fucking ceiling fan but it was just the balloons that I refuse to take down from my 13th birthday. I can't tell if I'm tired or stupid but I think either way it's correct.

Toby: it's probably both

Y/N: Exactly- It scared the shit outta me too-I saw it and was so fucking scared that I might have a ceiling fan in my room-

Toby: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A FAN! ITS ON THE CEILING!!

Y/N: Y/N, Weakness: ceiling fans that may or may not be there

Toby: strength: walking in high heels, weakness: imaginary ceiling fans

~~~~~~

Hoodie: it's just a deer or something

Masky: bro, that is not a deer

~~~~~~

Jeff: *sees a spider* I should have just bombed the house the last time I saw one of you fuckers

~~~~~~

EJ: I'm doing good...im doing great...i have a headache.....

~~~~~~

Jeff: this is like when I threatened to steal your skin and bones and stuff

~~~~~~

Jeff: it's like if a heat stroke were a room

Y/N: me

Jeff: no, you're like if a heat stroke were a person

Y/N: oh

~~~~~~

Y/N: tree tops

Jeff: crispy

Nina: crispy tree tops?

Jane: why are they crispy?

EJ: why is everyone talking about trees??

~~~~~~

Jane: I'm moving the pumpkins, sorry, Toby

Toby: nooo, my life's work...

~~~~~~

Toby: would you be more offended if I got a mug of milk or orange juice?

Masky: milk.

~~~~~~

Jeff: they're all safety scissors, I don't think I can possibly be unsafe with them

*pile of about 10 safety scissors*

~~~~~~

LJ: I took some of his teeth and coloured them like candy corns

~~~~~~

Jeff: I'll steal ur hair, I'll take ur eyebrows and I'll steal ur skin too

Toby: please, that's all I have

Jeff: U have bones, mucles, veins, blood, cartilage and organs that I could take too

Toby: no thanks

~~~~~~

Hoodie: Masky is this big *puts his fingers together*

~~~~~~

Jeff: what are you doing dude?

Y/N: hugging? I think??

Jeff: it's weird...

Y/N: yeah, let's never do that again

~~~~~~

Y/N: die.

Toby: :0

Y/N: in a nice way..?

~~~~~~

Nina: I'm sure there's someone in Fabio who's named Russia

Jane: what?

Nina: yup.

~~~~~~

Jeff: I hit myself in the face with an eye!

EJ: give it to me!

~~~~~~

Ben: what the rational number?

~~~~~~

Toby: I think I failed at life...

~~~~~~

*Jeff and Toby leave the room*

Masky: well, that was a headache

Hoodie: which one?

EJ: both.

~~~~~~

*Jeff walks by*

Jane: look at him, he's greasy

~~~~~~

Y/N: why are you only offended when Jeff says something?

EJ: because it's Jeff

~~~~~~

Toby: well how's this right?

Jeff: because I'm here!

~~~~~~

Jane: I'm going to Halifax

Jeff: Hali-fuck you

~~~~~~

Sally: I saw a girl and she was young

Y/N: you're young

Sally: I'm 8

Y/N: exactly, young.

Sally: so you're a grandma?

~~~~~~

Toby: fellas, if you need me, I'll be living inside this cabinet

~~~~~~

Y/N: I'm afraid of togetherness

[asmuchasidliketo]

#sufficiently true facts #I guess? #I need a tag for prose based on the assumption of sufficiently true facts but that doesn't explicitly state them #environmentalism #groundwater contamination #clowns tags by ⬆️

Rainbow Extra, Tim O'Brien, 2021

[thousand-winters]

"Sorry I’m so late. I completely lost track of time out at the imaginary corn maze, with the caramel apples and the jug band and the petting zoo…Oh my god, the baby goats are so cute, with their soft human skin and sad little human faces!"

I love how Cecil was having a fundamentally different experience than the rest of the audience, but- wait, what was that last thing, Cecil?

[lupinsversion]

𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐳𝐞

• summary: reader takes james to a muggle cornmaze, where they end up getting lost

• a/n: i present to you, the halloween imagine for mr hottie 👏🏻

• contains: james potter x fem reader, established relationship, corn maze, scarecrows, and dramatic displays

• word count: 910

masterlist || requests

James felt a mixture of confusion and excitement as he followed her through the corn maze, the endless maze of tall, towering stalks of corn seemed to stretch into infinity, the rustling leaves giving a whispering cadence to the gentle breeze that blew around them.

The air was filled with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty as he felt the towering leaves brush against his clothes and skin, the sound of their footsteps the only thing that seemed to echo in the eerie silence of the corn maze.

“I think this is the third time that we passed this.” She pointed out as she spotted a familiar scarecrow sticking out of the rows of corn.

He felt a wave of frustration wash over him as he realized she was right. For the third time, they had walked past that same scarecrow, its hay-filled head and straw hat greeting them as a mocking reminder of their predicament.

He felt a small sigh leave his lips as he paused, looking around at their surroundings, trying to find any recognizable landmarks, but all he saw was an endless array of corn stalks, their leaves rustling softly in the gentle breeze, creating a hushed, eerie backdrop to their growing frustration.

“This is so stupid.” She grumbled as she kicked a branch in the path. “Remind me again why you allowed this.”

He felt a mix playful irritation and amusement as he watched her kick the branch, her frustration evident in her voice and expression. He couldn’t help but chuckle softly at her quip. “Because you promised it would be fun.” He retorted, rolling his eyes playfully as he stepped closer to her.

“Fun, my ass. We’re lost.” She grumbled dramatically as she sat on the dirt path like a defeated toddler.

He felt his lips curve into a playful, affectionate smile as he watched her dramatically flop onto the ground like a pouting toddler. He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Come on, it’s not that bad. We’ll get out eventually.” He reassured, crouching down in front of her.

“We’ve been in maze for what… three hours?” She calculated grumpily. “I’m sure we’ve been forgotten about, left to starve and freeze amongst the corn.”

He felt a surge of affection as he watched her play up her misery, her dramatic streak on full display as she spoke. He couldn't help but smile. “Oh come on, you're exaggerating.” He teased before adding thoughtfully, “but... we may have been forgotten," he admitted with a hint of amusement.

She rolled her head back and let out a dramatic groan. “Left to die in my own frustration.”

A warm chuckle escaped his lips as she let out another dramatic groan, her frustration and misery on full display. He knew she was playing up her annoyance, and his heart swelled with affection as he looked at her dramatic, beautiful face.

He reached out, gently poking her nose with his finger. “You’re being a bit dramatic, you know? We're not going to die in here, and it's still light out.” He reminded her, suppressing another chuckle.

“But it will get dark.” She protested stubbornly. “It will get so dark that the gremlins will crawl out of the depths of the corn.”

He felt a small amused smirk tug at his lips as she warned about the impending darkness and the imaginary gremlins that would crawl out of the corn. He couldn't help but find her melodrama and silliness utterly adorable.

“They’ll eat us alive, feed off our misery and fear.” She declared with another dramatic groan before she looked over at him. “They’ll eat us alive, I say.”

He couldn't help but laugh out loud at her dramatic warning. He loved seeing this playful side of her, how she could twist and turn a simple corn maze into a horrifying fable of doom. "You know, with a bit more creativity, you could become a gothic author in the making.” He joked with a fond expression.

Now, she laughed. “As if. Me? Writing? I think you’re starting to lose your mind.”

He felt warmth and amusement bloom in his chest as he watched her laugh, her laugh was music to his ears. He reached out and poked her forehead playfully. "I suppose being trapped in a corny corn maze could easily drive someone mad."

She picked up a small rock and threw it at the scarecrow. “Stupid grinning bastard. Curse you and your straw head.”

He felt another chuckle rip from his throat, watching as she hurled the small rock at the scarecrow with a surprising amount of force. He couldn't deny that he found her dramatic display of annoyance absolutely endearing, and the sight of the scarecrow, with its smug grin and straw head, was just a bonus.

He shuffled closer to her, his eyes filled with amusement as he watched her continue her charade of frustration. "You know, that poor scarecrow doesn't deserve to be assaulted like that.” He teased, biting his lip to hold back another laugh.

She spotted a group walking through the maze and quickly scrambled to her feet to follow them. “Safety!” She cried dramatically.

He couldn't help but grin as he watched her dramatically scramble to her feet, her sudden realization of safety filling the air with a melodramatic sense of relief. He laughed softly, amused by her theatrics, and he followed her closely, making sure not to lose sight of the group she was pursuing.

© lupinsversion 2024

[fremedon]

I had a long boring mandatory work event today, which means I spent a lot of time at The Turnspit Dog.

The Turnspit Dog is my imaginary neighborhood farm-to-table restaurant. (NB: I have no desire to run an actual restaurant, which involves doing things like "cooking whether I or not I feel like it" and "making a profit." This is a purely imaginary affair.)

At any rate. This week, The Turnspit Dog is offering a roasted red pepper soup with toasted chickpeas and cashew crema or a chicken elote soup with sweet corn and red potatoes; a roasted broccoli salad with almonds and pickled carrots, as well as the usual house green salad; buccatini a la Norma (with eggplant and ricotta salata); a slow-cooked pork shoulder with polenta, grilled broccolini, and apple cider gastrique; a bisteyya (phyllo chicken pie with cinnamon) with plum compote; a white bean stew with fennel and confit plum tomatoes, braised kale, and sourdough croutons; a tipsy peach upside-down cake; and oat milk black walnut ice cream with brandied cherries.

It was a long work event.