#im yelling because why the actual fuck am i going to school to try and write legislation and help people fight the system

[beepbeepmfkr]

Honestly if trump wins I'm blocking anyone who's ever put "the Dems are just as bad so why bother voting" bullshit on my dash. Y'all will do everything to blame anyone else but yourselves for not doing the absolute bare minimum of your duty as a citizen and the hilarious part is that so many of you pretend that be fucking pseudo revolutionaries on the internet

Y'all can't even handle a conflicting opinion without sending anon hate but sure. You're definitely the one who's gonna plan the revolution 🙄

[rxmxa]

𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 ❤️‍🔥

my ideas + observations on what lilith aspects might look like in daily life <3

Lilith-Sun Aspects: Getting noticed right away by people especially when a group setting, being liked by people on the surface level but secretly they disapprove or frown at your actions when you turn around, men judging you, standing your ground at all costs, not knowing when to back down, being a natural leader, challenging societal norms with who you are and forms of self expression, walking into a meeting or class wearing a bold outfit and peoples heads turning but not a word is uttered, getting dress-coded at work or school, your boss or teachers feeling uncomfortable to say something to you, people feeling like you are being "messy" when you question the norms, not addressing rumors. knowing you're gonn stir things up when you are walking into rooms and not caring, being told to change, being told you're too much, men wanting to date you but then wishing you would be "easy to work with" or wanting to date you and then get mad when they can't dominate you, you thinking "what don't they fucking understand? I just don't want to be like them" being afraid of your individuality not being recognized that you go to extremes at some moments

Lilith-Moon aspects: the type of people to actually answer with the truth when you ask them how they're doing and then you're kind of shook because you thought they were gonna sugarcoat and be like "I'm fine" being painfully honest or blunt, talking about feelings considered taboo (like no one really likes to talk about how they are jealous or bitter or other shit like that, they just hide it or project it) but lilith-moon will say they're feeling that shit. this reminds of the song wildflower by billie eilish. this aspect is women talking shit about you, having trauma with you, women in your life judging you or pointing fingers at you for not falling into the "good girl" category. being told you're wrong for how you feel, feeling intense or moody and other people being able to pick up on it, other people seeing you as magnetic but also unpredictable and they can admire you for being real with them but it also might scare them, mom saying you are a wild child or just too much to deal with when you get "emotional", you wanting to yell "no im not fucking okay and im not gonna sit here and pretend I am"

Lilith-Venus aspects: men want you and see being with you as a challenge, they want to be with you to show off but then get mad when they cant change you, being called a "tease" or saying that you lead people on, men lying about you, spreading rumors about you, men saying they "talked to you" or dated you after texting you LMAOOO.. just fucking lying! being villanized for your beauty, your beauty feeling like its making you a target, women seeing you as competition, women spreading rumors about your beauty (oh she probably got this and this done or oh she shes only pretty because xyz), men in relationships looking at you and thinking you are manipulating them when you're not doing anything, feeling like anything venus related (beauty, art, relationships) in your life gets distorted, your relationships always feeling like a battlefield, being sensual + in tune with your femininity and then people expect you to tone it down, you might do something like wear red lipstick or heels or a nice dress and be told its too much but someone without this energy in their chart probs wouldnt get that reaction, you wondering "what's the difference between me and her? Why do they treat her like that and me like this?"

Lilith-Mercury aspects: being blunt, hurting someones feelings without meaning to, getting criticized for whatever you say, trying to be more "polite" but then it feels so exhausting, cursing a lot, cursing from a very young age and/or in professional settings, saying what other people refuse to say for the sake of being polite or because its a "superior" this is the person that in the meeting will the supervisor "In my opinion, this isnt a good idea and it isnt helpful to us", people talking shit behind your back, the person who dissects other peoples words down to the stutter, punctuation and fucking COMMA! How did they say it? What word did they say first? lilith-mercury will read between the lines and force you to say what you are refusing to say or putting in a passive aggressive manner, might refuse to engage with passive agressive people until they say it with their chest, "could you repeat that?" energy, "what did you mean by that?" energy knowing damn well what they meant, talking about politics at the dinner table during the family reunion, talking about sex in the break room at work, playing the devils advocate, reading smut, writing smut, loving dirty talk. trying to use their words for something good but people always making them feel like everything they say is just always wrong, pausing before they strike with their tongue, hating small talk, feeling uncomfy with small talk, people trauma dumping or ovesharing or vice versa, feeling suspcious of people that use pretty words with them, they wonder "What do they want from me? They're trying to get something from me...."

Lilith-Mars aspects: the first to get to moving and get shit down, getting easily annoyed at people that dont have the same drive, being angry at weak people or people that cant keep their word, "Are you gonna help or just fucking stand there?", being seen as abrassive, people avoiding you or shrinking back because of it, men wanting to compete with you, people feeling threatened by your ambition, the type to get nice things in life and people spread rumors that you had to xyz to get it, people thinking you're being confrontational or too angry when you address something face to face and up front, feeling out of control with your anger as a kid, people trying to push your buttons to try to get a reaction of you and then acting shocked when they do, fiercely independent in their routines, working out intensely, craving intensity in relationships, lines blurring between love and war "If I'm going to be the bad guy might as well get something out of it"

Lilith-Saturn aspects: a major dislike of authoritative figures, feeling resentful at being told what to do, wanting to do the opposite of what you do, "im not following this rule just because its always been followed", setting your own standards and expectations, "I prefer to find out for myself", questioning the system or cultural and societal norms and traditions that you find antiquated or unfair, people respecting you for your disciple but wishing you were easier to boss around, other people saying you're too cold or detached but you just dont wanna give them the chance to fuck you over, finding peace in the space between order and chaos and you perfecting that mix, wondering if life would be easier if you were "softer", choosing to form your own opinions on people, "thanks but I can decide for myself", feeling like you're held to expectations other people aren't

Lilith-Pluto aspects: not afraid to talk about the ugly shit in life, the taboo, trauma, control, power struggles, fear, jealousy because youve been familiar with it before, people being a little afraid of you, people saying youre too intense or even dangerous, people projecting onto you and getting mad or "disgusted" with you when you see right through them, being able to pick up on changes in peoples mannerisms, digging deeper in conversations, people suddenly confessing things to you, people not understanding why they feel drawn to your presence, people either approach it or go in the other direction, you come across as someone who has been through a lot but its only made you stronger, "im not afraid of the dark parts of life", going through something traumatic and years later thinking about it and coming to realization that you wouldn't change a thing, that it made you who you are, being okay with being seen as the villian in someones story

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - s1 social media au

note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry

part two

liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others

chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁

see all 8 comments

syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n

↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me

↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///

marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.

↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular

↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start

richietheking: Where am I?

↳ chefboyardee: ya motha

liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others

richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.

see all 8 comments

marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.

↳ richietheking: You already know it man.

syd_adamu: this is actually crazy

carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.

↳ richietheking: Delete your life.

chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝

↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.

↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 8:25 am ]

y/n:

bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.

marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy

DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.

syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school

DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.

y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie

richie poo: ????? What

y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols

marcus: valid

syd: real

richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude

y/n: cuz you piss me off

and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday

richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.

syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?

richie poo: Fuck off.

y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.

marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n

y/n: don’t remind me

syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas

richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook

tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.

syd: hey! i’m just being helpful

y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings

marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares

y/n: great i’m gonna cry now

syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine

richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.

y/n: oh great

tina: Help us all.

syd: be nice you guys

WORK

[ 9:15 am ]

carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

syd: ok sounds good

richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media

tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??

carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts

marcus: facebook is crazy

richie poo: I can’t go private

y/n: he needs the likes

richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why

y/n: liar

richie poo: 😑I don’t like you

carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.

marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie

carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.

richie poo: Fine, whatever

y/n: carmy

carmy: What, Y/n?

y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real

carmy: I don’t care Y/n.

y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’

oh

syd: ? why the oh

y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes

carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later

y/n: OMG yes chef 😍

richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work

y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass

jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face

carmy: Stop

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

i heard your giggle tho

richie poo: Again with the schizo episode

syd: you can’t say that richie

richie poo: Oh sorry

[starringthesturniolos]

bite me (part 2)- matt sturniolo

part one, part 2

summary- matt has always hated your guts, but everything changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.

contains- vampire!matt x reader, enemies to lovers, smut (not in this part), themes of death, dark themes, high school au! (18 yrs old)

——————————————————————————

your pov:

i woke up with a massive headache, my chest heaving. the first thing i think of is matt.

what the fuck, why is he on my mind on a saturday morning.

i shudder at my own actions and throw my covers over my head as a phantom chill runs down my spine.“cant stay in bed forever” i sigh to myself, while throwing the covers off my body almost immediately after putting them back on. I march to my closet and change into my favorite running shorts. as soon as i step foot out of my house, i start to jog, the melodic tempo lulling me out of my morning funk. my peace is disrupted tho because out the corner of my eye, i see my neighbor walk out his house into his driveway. his eyes bore into mine before they rake up and down my body. my heart beat picks up slightly, and it’s not from the exercise.

my neighbor, kit, has been weirdly obsessed with me ever since he and his girlfriend broke up. about a week ago, i caught him snooping around our house at night, trying to get a peek into my room. after that i’ve been trying to avoid crossing paths, and i wasn’t planning on crossing them today. its fine, hes probably taking out the trash, i think, desperately trying to reassure myself. i speed up from a light jog to a full on sprint because i know that once hes out my sight, i will feel more comfortable. i sigh in relief when i round the corner to the next street in my subdivision, happy that i got away from him.

slap slap slap

his feet pound against the ground as he sprints to catch up with me. i whirl around once i hear the footsteps, and lock eyes with him. the accidental eye contact was enough to spur him to go even faster than his long legs were taking him before. my heart to drops and i turn back around, running on pure adrenaline and fear.

“Y/n, stop running and come talk to me!” kit yells angrily but i’m running far too hard to form a proper sentence. even if i wanted to respond to him i wouldn’t have the breath to do so.

“STOP PLAYING HARD TO GET. YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME Y/N. COME HERE AND ADMIT IT” he screams even louder. my head starts to pound and my mind reels trying to come up with a plan. i can’t run forever. i gather the little breath i have in me to muster up a scream in hopes someone will come help me, only for the air to be knocked out of me. i ran straight into something, no,

someone.

“get. the fuck. away from her.” the mystery man growls.

kit takes one look at him and slowly backs away in fear. “who the hell are you?” out of curiosity, i look up to see who i’ve run into and freeze.

matt?

no it can’t be. it looks just like him but his eyes are dark red, and dark black veins swirl under his pale skin like they have a mind of their own. “who are you?” i cringe as i repeat the same question kit did moments before, both our tones lacking a single ounce of courage. fear was all consuming as we stared at the monster in front us.

���you know who i am, y/n. get behind me. now. im gonna deal with him” he says gruffly while looking behind me at kit. kit whimpers at the sight of matts deadly stare.

i ignore what matt says, opting to look him up and down instead in a manner that screams “what the fuck is wrong with you”. but then, i try to think rationally for a moment, this is still matt after all. he may not like me but hes not gonna hurt me. right?

“what happened to you, matt?”i question breathlessly.

“you.” matt deadpans in a voice much deeper than his normal one, taking a step closer to me. he reaches his hand out to grab me. to take me.

“y/n get away from him!!” kit interjects and pulls me too him in hopes of trying to help me get away from matt. and for once, i’m actually glad kits here.

wrong move.

matt is in front of me in a flash. he snarles as he pushes kit with bone crushing force. his body goes flying, hitting a pole a couple of yards away with a loud thud, knocked out on impact. i shriek, terror filling my veins. as if sensing my strong distress, matt turns to me slowly. his arms out in front of him, in what is supposed to be a peaceful gesture.

hard to be comforting when your veins are as dark as your tattoos.

“y/n, we need to talk” the stranger, deeper version of matts voice says.

why can’t i move. im frozen in time as he takes slow steps towards me.

“you need to come with me, y/n.” he breathes out, his dark red eyes wide and crazed. he takes another step closer. my legs feel like jelly but i finally manage to take one step back. whatever matt is, it can’t be human. humans can’t throw each other several yards. their veins aren’t as black as midnight, and their eyes sure as hell don’t change to a deep red on command. so what does he, no, it, want from me.

“w- why do i need to come with you? ”

“because you’re mine” he growls, finally deciding to close the gap between us, faster than my eyes can process. he bends down and run his nose along the hot spot on my neck. he inhales deeply and moans in relief his black veins disappearing. i scream and try to push him off but its useless. he grabs my arm in a vice grip and pure horror spreads through my body for what feels like the 100th time today. i try to let out another scream but no sound comes out. my vision clouds and my head is spinning. then everything is black.

@bbernard-03

@sturnthepot

@hoeformatt

@sturtriple16

@faygo-frog

@sturniol0s

@fratbrochrisgf

@mattslolita

[firesmokeandashes]

Greetings, Tumblr dwellers. I am here today with a bunch of bkdk/mha incorrect/correct quotes. Because I, unfortunately, am lacking inspiration to write anything else at the moment :[

Please enjoy.

□□□□□□□

Izuku and Katsuki: *arguing about something*

Katsuki: "Stop yelling at me, nerd!"

Izuku: "IM NOT YELLING AT YOU! IM SIMPLY... PROJECTING MY VOICE TO MAKE A POINT!"

Katsuki: "OTHERWISE KNOWN AS YELLING!!"

Izuku: "BUT NOW, YOU'RE YELLING!!"

Katsuki: "ONLY BECAUSE YOU YELLED AT ME FIRST!"

Izuku: *starts powering up one for all and charges at Katsuki* "AHHHHHHHH!!!"

Katsuki: *powers up his explosions and charges at Izuku* "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Izuku and Katsuki: *catches each others fists and begin making out aggressively instead*

Denki: "...."

Todoroki: *sipping coffee tiredly*

Denki: "So.... why were they fighting again..."

Todoroki: "Deku said he thought Bakugou was the better hero out of the both of them. Which made Bakugou extremely angry because he thinks Deku is the better hero out of both them, and it kind of escalated from there."

Denki: "...."

Izuku and Katsuki: *intense angry making out noises*

Todoroki: *continues sipping coffee out of his '#No.1 Wonder Duo Supporter' mug*

□□□□□□□□

Katsuki: "...."

Izuku: *standing in a slightly burnt looking pile of paper towles and plates covered in hot chocolate and feathers*

Katsuki: *watches as a featherless and slightly disoriented duck imerges from the pile*

Izuku: "I may have made a mistake..."

Katsuki: "Actually, it seems you've made several mistakes all within the past 5 minutes while I was changing my clothes"

□□□□□□□

Katsuki: "Hey, Izuku! What'd ya say about coming with me on a road trip to the mountains for some hiking?"

Izuku: "I would say 'yes', but Im still recovering from the last road trip we went on"

Katsuki: "Izuku, that was ten years ago, and we were in high school!"

Izuku: "And you got kidnapped! And we had to come and rescue you!"

Katsuki: "That was one time, Izuku. ONE. TIME."

Izuku: "Yes, and I would very much not like to repeat the experience!"

Katsuki: "We're full grown-ass adults Izuku!"

Izuku: "I don't care! It was a traumatic experience that could still happen now that we're adults!"

Katsuki: "We're two of the highest ranking pro-heroes in Japan! WE FUCKING BEAT ALL FOR ONE! I highly doubt anyone is going to try kidnap either one of us!"

Izuku: "...."

Katsuki: *incredulous annoyed silence*

Izuku: "I'll go pack my bags..."

Katsuki: *silent contemplating look of disappointment at his boyfriend's ridiculousness*

□□□□□□

Katsuki: "You have to make a decision."

Izuku: "I did. I've decided not to decide."

Katsuki: "We're in the fucking drive-through Izuku! You have to choose something to eat!"

Izuku: "I can't! It's too much pressure!"

Katsuki: "You're the fucking number one hero you live under pressure! And you can't decide what to eat at a drive-through!?"

Izuku: "That's different!"

Katsuki: "How is saving people from birning buildings less stressful than choosing a meal at a fucking fast food joint!?"

Izuku: "Because saving people doesn't involve having to choose between chicken nuggets shapped like dinosaurs or chicken nuggets shapped like space ships!"

Katsuki: "....."

□□□□□□□□

Katsuki and Izuku: *staring at horribly disfigured homemade clay All Might figure with a hand(??) sticking out of his head and four legs 3 of which look like tree stumps, that they made the night before while partially drunk*

Izuku: "So.... Do you think we can fix it?"

Katsuki: "No. And Im not even going to try"

□□□□□□□

Katsuki: *walking around a hero gala, his PR agent dragged him to*

Izuku: *walking slightly behind Kacchan, following him*

Izuku: "Where are you going, Kacchan?"

Katsuki: "Towards the answer of all my problems"

Izuku: But Kacchan, you're walking towards the exit"

Katsuki: "Exactly."

Izuku: "...."

Izuku: "Can I tag along with you, then? Because I really want to go home and finish watching the final episode of Sasaki to Miyano, but my ride won't be leaving for a while."

Katsuki: "Sure. We can pick up some ramen on the way to your place so we can eat it while we watch those two idiots finally get together."

Izuku: "Yay! Thanks, Kacchan! You're the best!"

Katsuki: "I know, I know. Now, let's get going before my PR agent catches me and makes me go talk to more people."

□□□□□

Welp! That's all I got for now! I hope you guys liked them!

[rogertaylorshbb]

'toxic' Roger Taylor x reader

summary- you and roger get into an argument but you guys make up like 20 minutes later🤭🙄💅

swearing, light smut, mentions of alcohol. [ I have no idea why I'm adding these, just makes the fanfic look more ✨professional✨]

"okay see you tomorrow!! love you!!" you yelled out to your bestfriend Chelsie as you stepped in the door of you and rogers apartment. "finally" your heard a groan, it was roger "I've been waiting for you all night". you turned on the light to see him slouched on the couch with a bottle of vodka in his hand. "your drunk" you sighed.

"maybe" he chuckled "where were you?". "I was out at that new nightclub that opened" you smiled thinking back on it. "with who?" he questioned his words becoming more intrigued. "just Chelsie and a few other friends" you said.

"Chelsie? and what other friends" he said turning his head to you. "just...people, I'm not sure, just Chelsie's friends that she kept from high school".

"what? like guys?" he questioned "guys..?" you questioned back. "where there any guys?" he stated. "Jesus rog.." you sighed. he stood up from the couch placing the vodka bottle on the table. "what? don't 'Jesus rog' me" he said mimicking your voice. "your drunk, and I don't wanna argue, go to bed".

"are you cheating on me?" he asked. "what?!, god no!" you frustratingly told him. "don't fucking lie to me y/n, I know your cheating on me!" "no!" you yelled "I know your fucking other guys y/n" roger shouted. "how-? what- why? why would I do that huh?" you shouted back. "because your a fucking slut-" roger slurred pointing a finger at you. your heart went cold, how could he? how could he call you that?.

you tried to keep calm, "your drunk roger". "So? being drunk doesn't make me a liar" he groaned. you tried to keep in your tears. "I cant hang out with my friends for one night without being a slut?? I'm cluttered with work, all I want to do is go have fun for one night, but no, I cant have fun" you stated.

"your such an idiot" he muttered. "your the idiot!" you yelled, you took a deep breath "you know what? arguing with you is childish, I'm going to out to get bread because I forgot and then I'm going to bed, sober up or not before I get back....actually I don't care, do what you want"

roger stood there while you walked off out the door. he started to really think about what he had carelessly blurted out, and the guilt in his chest started to hurt. "fuck...I am an idiot".

you walked to the convivence store 7 minutes away, getting bread from the shelf, and walking as slow as possible back to your apartment, trying to escape the awkwardness that would be there when you walked back in.

you walked back in to see roger in the bathroom brushing his teeth. you plopped the bread on the counter stumbling into the bedroom. you took off your party dress and heels and picked out a pair of pajamas. as you were looking around in the messy clothes draws roger walked in. "get out, I'm getting dress" you huffed. "what? I'm not allowed to see you naked now?" he scoffed. "whatever" you muttered throwing on an oversized t-shirt.

"I'm not so drunk anymore" roger told you. "good" you sighed. not one of you making eye contact as you both slid into bed. the tension was killing roger. "I'm sorry" he whispered "I don't think your a slut, I was just jealous". you turned to look at him. "the truth is....im scared of losing you, just the thought of you finding someone better then me terrifies me, I don't think I can live without you"

you looked into his eyes. you were speechless, you had never heard roger say anything like that. since you had no words you just kissed him, running your fingers through his hair. roger grabbed your waist, practically dragging your body over his. his hands travelled your body, reaching over to take your t-shirt off, before he suddenly stopped "oh wait...im not allowed to see you naked anymore, guess were gonna-" he chuckled, you cut him off "oh shut up" you laughed.

you dragged the t-shirt off you continuing to kiss roger. roger cupped your breasts, massaging them, making you moan into his mouth. "where are the condoms?" you smirked. "here" roger said reaching into his drawer.

he hurriedly put it on, you started to slowly sit further on further down on his cock, not trying to muffle your moans at all when you did. "fuck I love it when you moan like that" roger smiled.

-just gonna end it there-

[gagsolineoilrefinery]

brian headcanons? pretty please

Smiles so big and wide at you yes absolutely I love that little freak

putting under a read more for convenience's sake

- I'm 100% a Bug Brian truther, that man is an insect you can't convince me otherwise, I like to think he can make weird little chittering noises and climbs up walls with his hands and feet for enrichment

- He's trans and has no last name because he didn't care enough to pick a new one so he went with none, acts all mysterious about it because he thinks it makes him look cool

- This man needs glasses so fucking badly but after a litany of "nerd" comments growing up he refuses to wear them, has attempted contacts but cant get them in his eyes for the life of him

- He would genuinely rather die than go to the factory, he does all his needed repairs on himself unless he's forced to (usually by Ben or William)

- He gets along with his co workers in, his own way when he's forced to interact with them. He does not understand how to behave "appropriately" around other people, he's my favorite rude autism icon (he is going to insult your intelligence at any given opportunity with what he sees as good intentions and does not understand why everyone hates him)

- I'm also a Bellthinker truther I think that british man should kiss that bug right on the brain dome and make him so flustered his systems soft reset

- Every time theres a meeting that he's in the second he's at the front of the room the entire mood changes because everybody knows he's gonna have a whole presentation planned thats no less than 1 hour long, and he will yell at you if you try to stand up for any reason

- I like to think living in the heart of toontown (right in the playground no less) definitely has some side effects on him, the silliness is rubbing off on him more than he realizes, most obviously things like his brain exploding comically when he starts baby raging

- Im sorry this man is absolutely a cog reddit user (coggit? idk) you can't change my mind, hes a power mod and proud of it, keeps getting talked to for using it on company time though

- He's very attatched to the Desk Jockeys but absolutely hates to admit it, I like to think its a Dr. Robotnik with Scratch and Grounder type dynamic (thinking especially like that one scene where Robotnik says "I don't even know why I bother to repair you guys, I suppose I'm too sentimental" shit like that)

- With his dynamics with the other toontown central managers, I think he actually feels very guilty about the incident that happened with Buck- but instead feigns a petty hatred for him so nobody will ask him about it and he doesn't have to admit how monumentally he fucked up

- He's on relatively chill terms with William, they're both angry big mouthed autistic people who do not know how to shut up so they mesh pretty well, I think they like to fight eachother to let off steam and then makeup immediately after, Brian isn't too fond of the whole oil leakage problem thing though because it makes a mess of his basement but he doesn't exactly hold it against him since he knows he can't help it

- When he can spare the time he loves poking around in the systems of his co workers just to see how they operate out of morbid curiosity and to see how he can make the jockeys more efficient, he's on that medic tf2 shit, not many of them let him do it though (understandably so)

- Probably went to whatever the cog equivalent of medical school was but lost his medical license after The Buck Incident™️

(And I think thats probably good for now because I am dangerously treading the line of infofumping about my AU sorry I have so many thoughts about this creature)

[elijahfanfics]

mha trio (bkg, todo & deku) x bullied exchange student oc/reader

After ten minutes of trying to name this bitch ive gone with June. Some may dislike this name and I get it its very 2020 but I think it suits them

June is autistic and will show traits that I show because that's what I know best about, these things will be from experiences that ive gone through in the past so I will also include a trigger warning list below

TW: bullying, autistic overload/overstimulation (NON SEXUAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH), physical violence (not a lot just shoves and some kicking), 3v1, destruction of property, use of the R word

June is a 16 year old autistic non binary person and loves their headphones, they always have their headphones on unless in a place where they needs to take them off e.g. in the classroom when the teacher is talking but they do have a pass to wear them when the teacher gives the go ahead. the students speak Japanese but the teachers know English, June knows Japanese and English but to know what language people are speaking in i'll put the Japanese speech in this font and also the three other girls only speak english. You can imagine June to look however you want and also this will be in 1st person :)

---------------

Im walking down a hallway, looking for the class labelled 1A, yet failing miserably.

"okay class 1C, that must mean class 1A is around here right?", I mumble to myself, looking around me at the doors in this stupidly confusing array of hallways. I turn a corner still looking down at the 'map' on my phone, that is even more confusing than these fucking hallways, and suddenly, im on the floor.

I look up and see Grace, Sophie and Jessica. Sophie being the self proclaimed 'leader' spoke up, "ew what the fuck I didn't know you would be here", she says disgustedly and looks at her friends, giggling to each other. I sigh and get up, walking away as they start barking at me (this actually happens too idk why people do this even in public and outside of schools like wtf. and also, furry friendly, its only the assholes who bark at emos n stuff) I am so looking forward to a new school with new people to yell and bark at me. yay.

The girls keep following me as I finally find my class AND THEYRE STILL BARKING AND GIGGLING, of course we're in the same class, why wouldn't we be.

I knock on the door and the girls finally stop barking and theyre just giggling and whispering. "you must be the four exchange students", a very tired looking man with black scruffy hair and a grey scarf says to us in a monotone voice, the girls immediately taking notice of the dishevelled man and quietly giggling to each other more. Aizawa saw this but didn't really care much and he turned into the classroom, waving us in. I start to enter the room but the girls push past me and leave me to close the door after them, I roll my eyes and stand in the corner as the teacher introduces us to the class.

"So as you may already know, four students from England(or America) have been transferred here for a month, the four of them will have separate rooms of the spare rooms. They will follow us around in classes and training but will not part take in any training as we are liable for any injuries they sustain and I would like to avoid a lawsuit, Grace, Sophie and Jessica cannot speak Japanese so teachers will be aiding them in classes, but June does speak Japanese fluently. June is autistic so please keep that in mind when you meet them, do not crowd them or yell around them. I was told to tell you that because again, any physical or emotional damage they sustain can end in a lawsuit and if that happens, you will be expelled. Are there any questions.", the teacher said, not very enthusiastic about there possibly being questions.

One student with green hair raises his hand, "yes Midoriya", the teacher says with a sigh.

"Mr. Aizawa, will they be in the common room much? And also I heard there is a space in this class still, will one of them possibly be transferred here? And can I ask June about their quirk or can we not talk to them at all? Will June be helping us with out English since they knows both languages? An-", the boy rambles on until Mr. Aizawa cuts him off. "Okay Midoriya that's enough questions.", Aizawa sighs before mentally preparing to answer him, "they will be in the common room as much as they want. Yes there is a possibility that one of them may be transferred if chosen. You may talk to June but if they want to be left alone, leave them alone. June can help you with your English work inside or outside of classes if they wish. Now are there any more questions.", he says and towards the end he scowls, as if daring someone to raise their hand.

I watch this interaction carefully, and I also pay attention to the class watching me and the girls too. I come to the conclusion that most of this class probably aren't like the people back home. One girl had purple hair and wires on her ears, and some of the students had on eyeliner too. They actually didn't seem too intimidating, and I didn't mind their curious eyes as appose to judging looks like i'd get in class back home.

"what are they talking about Junie", Grace says to me in a sickly sweet voice, nudging me with her elbow. The other girls turn to me too and I take a small step back, into the corner. "Yeah what are they sayin Junie", Sophie spoke, her words laced with venom as she practically spat the nickname they call me.

"Just that were using spare rooms in their dorm and we'll be sticking with this class for the month", I mumble quietly, while this is all playing out, Mr.Aizawa announces to the class that he's going to take a nap and for the class to work on their English translation worksheets.

"OMG no way are we spending the next month with you in the same dorm!", Jessica says, and they all start to fucking giggle again. Seriously, what is it with the giggling.

Suddenly an outstretched hand comes flying down between us forcefully and I look over to see a blue haired boy with glasses.

"please be quiet otherwise you may wake Mr.Aizawa", the boy says, in a quiet but forceful tone.

"..huh?", Sophie says and the all just look at him.

"he said to be quiet or you might wake the teacher", I translate for them.

"Wake the teacher? The teacher's sleeping?", Jessica says to the boy but he gives no reply and just blinks at them, realising his mistake. He looks towards me and we make eye contact for a brief moment before the girls laughing 'quietly' catches my attention. They are all turned to face Aizawa in hi yellow sleeping bag and I can see the irritation lightly painting his face. Most people couldn't tell but, A; it hasn't been long enough for him to be asleep yet and B; who wouldn't be annoyed.

I sigh and turn to the chalk board, picking up the white chalk. On the board I write 'if anybody needs help with their English, just ask and I can come to help' in Japanese of course. I turn to walk through the classroom to the back of the class where there was an empty row of four seats. Half way down, the three girls push past me and I fall slightly onto the green haired boys desk, apparently called Midoriya, I put my hands down on the edge of the desk to stop myself from falling flat on my face.

I take a step back and bow to him as I apologise to him quickly before carrying on to my seat in the corner, behind a girl with long black hair. I sit down and take my laptop out, about to start playing some stardew valley before I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look over and see a boy with red and white hair standing over me.

"I need some help on my English work please", he says, and I stand up, "yeah of course that's no problem", I smile and I follow him over to his desk.

He sits down and I kneel next to him to look over his work. Behind me I hear the girls whispering to eachother, "damn June getting on their knees for these guys already. fucking whore" "I know right who the fuck could actually like a r***rded ass like them anyways.". I try to ignore the comments but they do get to me and the boy notices.

"what are they saying", he asks in a calm voice. I look up at him, "oh, nothing, theyre just talking to each other about schoolwork and stuff", I say, trying to avoid answering truthfully.

"not true", he says, "they're talking about you, aren't they. You don't like each other. why?".

I stay silent for a moment.

"you said you needed help with the work", I look up at him with a dismissive smile, trying to change the subject.

He obliges and points to one of the sections, "Im having some trouble with "s"s on the ends of sentences. It can be used for "cars" and "car's" so what is the difference?"

I think about my reply for a moment before speaking, "yeah, so an 's' can signify a multiple but can also signify a possession, you can tell the difference from the use of an apostrophe. If the car belongs to someone then "the car's his", the apostrophe is basically a placeholder for an "I", if you can split the word into two and put an "I" before the "s" then its a possession, but if its something like "the cars belong to him", then they are his cars and he has multiple. The best way to understand a word isn't to look at the word its self, especially if you are struggling to understand it, its to look for context around the word.", I look up to him to see if he understood that and I saw it click in his eyes, he looks at me and thanks me before going back to his work and I walk back to my desk.

After classes finished, I made my way down the hall with my headphones on. I reach the dining hall and grab some food before heading off to find the smallest corner I could cram myself into.

I walk around the school for a phew minutes until I decide to sit outside on a brick wall that was about four feet tall. I place my food onto it and jump up to sit on the end of it, behind the school where it was basically deserted, no students to be seen, just how I like it.

I nod along to my music and eat my food in peace, something that has come to be a rare occasion.

I look over to my left and see three figures walking toward me. Great.

I ignore them and carry on eating.

When they get to me they start yelling, my heartbeat rises and I become nervous but I try my best to ignore them and just listen to my music. That is until one of them grabs onto my headphones and throws them as hard as she can onto the wall opposite us.

I just stare at where they lay, broken, on the floor. My eyes fill with tears but I try to hide it, my headphones are the most important thing to me. I need them. I cant afford to buy more.

I bring my knees up to my chest and curl up into a ball, still trying to ignore them.

They keep screaming at me and occasionally kicking me, barking and shoving too. I just stay curled up, feeling like im about to throw up. Hyperventilation starts and im struggling to hold myself together.

I start to hear some other voices too, speaking in Japanese. Just more people to scream at me…

One of the of the voices sound familiar though, from the class I was in, and another, extremely angry voice.

I hear some of what theyre saying, "im gonna fucking kill em" and "Kacchan, you cant kill them, we can get them to leave them alone though".

I hear three sets of footsteps and I look up a bit, it's Midoriya and Todoroki and some other blonde boy who I don't know the name of yet. They all look angry. Like, about to stab someone angry.

I make brief eye contact with Todoroki, his eyes softening slightly as he waves his right hand. Ice shoots from the floor, barricading me from the girls.

"The hell do you think youre doing huh?!", the blonde one yells as he uses explosions coming from his hands to project him onto the wall next to me. "Bakugo, be quieter, you remember what Mr.Aizawa said", Todoroki said in monotone voice, yet still looking pissed, "yeah yeah I know..", Bakugo replies much quieter than before.

The girls look at eachother and Grace speaks up, "what the fuck dude", and Sophie chimes in, "yeah you could've hurt us with that fucking ice". Midoriya looks at me, wanting me to tell them what the girls are saying, but I just put my head down and curl up tighter.

Midoriya tilts his head in confusion, "They've gone non verbal, they wont talk to you until they feel safe, its an autism thing", Bakugo mumbles gruffly.

Todoroki uses the little English he knows and turns towards the girls, taking a step forward, steam coming from the left side of his body. "Go. Away.".

Jessica scoffs, "whateaver.", she says and turns to walk away, the other girls following suit, not without sending me a dirty look or two of course.

The ice disappears as the three of them sit next to me on the wall.

A phew minutes pass by as I calm down and I slowly say, "they broke my headphones.. I cant afford to buy new ones though.." tears trail down my face as all three boys in unison say "i'll buy you new ones"

There's a pause as they look at eachother, Bakugo says in a hardly audible mumble "we'll all buy you things if that makes you happy.." as he looks at me. I sniffle, "you don't have to do that.." I say quietly.

"we will though", Midoriya says happily, smiling at me. "and Kacchan, don't turn this into a competition!", Midoriya practically whined.

"everythings a competition to me, damn nerd." he keeps his voice low, still looking at me, not breaking eye contact.

We spent the rest of break on the wall, talking and laughing about random things, but Bakugo never seemed to take his eyes off me, Midoriya teasing him about it slightly and instantly regretting it.

It was fun and I had a hunch that maybe this month wouldn't be so bad after all.

----------------

I was feeling very Todoroki today idk why but here, three dudes that are willing to buy stuff for you to make you happy, two of em are rich, isn't that everything anyone could ever want :0

This is my first post on tumblr, but if this isnt absolutely terrible please check out my wattpad elijah_fanficss :D

i will probably post all of the stories on here too eventually but just check it out since its where i post everything first, its not long and theres only a phew parts on there at the moment but im working on it T-T

i tend to ramble so just ignore that :p

i am taking ideas so if you wanted me to wright about something drop it in the comments and i can see if its something i would like to do but no promises :)

[camgoloud]

im sorry im back to yell at you about the magicians again… very much enjoying it so far especially the whole “magic school would be insufferable actually” concept. a classroom full of a billion teenage prodigies all trying to outprodigy each other at the world’s most annoying menial tasks? eugh. getting hives already. no thanku. it reminds me a lot of the scholomance, especially adding in the whole languages thing… idk. very cool.

also i know it’s unintentional and absolutely not what “straight man” is supposed to indicate in this situation but. this paragraph is So Fucking Funny to me thinking back after finding out Eliot’s gay. what did he need a straight man for hello

okay 1. DO NOT APOLOGIZE please i am going around these days vibrating with the need to talk about these books. yell at me as much as you want i will be so glad to have the opportunity to yell back and also 2. re: brakebills YES. yes exactly. okay so this is a whole-ass trilogy right like i don’t think it’s too much of a spoiler to say that there’s Quite A Lot Of Stuff to them beyond the time quentin spends at brakebills BUT i do find the brakebills stuff really fascinating! because a. i’ll always love a good magic-school story i am not immune to the trope and also b. exactly what you pointed out re: the text’s engagement with the idea that magic school Would Maybe Kind Of Suck, Actually—but at the SAME TIME the idea of it remains compelling both to quentin and to the reader (at least to me)… in my head i always call this the secret history maneuver—when an author manages to simultaneously demonstrate Why This Whole Thing Is Bad And Also, Kind Of, Hilarious When You’re Not One Of The Guys With Their Head Stuck Up Their Ass About It, and, also, make you kind of want to be one of the guys with their head stuck up their ass about it. brakebills does not sound fun! everybody in there is romanticizing their own pain and suffering and the idea of their genius just to make it through the hell they are all putting themselves through for what reason exactly?! and yet at the same time… who among us has never been there. maybe i just needed to chill out a little bit in high school idk. but! there’s just something really compelling about the way everybody at brakebills clearly romanticizes the hell out of their ability to hack it at an Elite Institution and you at the reader are like “okay i get why this is a point of pride for you, insufferable teenage prodigy whose entire identity has clearly been built around the idea of your own academic superiority to The Masses, but also… damn you really live like this? lmao.” and now that you bring it up it is interesting to think about in conversation with the scholomance! like obviously they come at it from very different angles because so much of the scholomance books features the characters explicitly talking and thinking about lowering barriers to scholarship, etc. while everyone at brakebills seems to be all-in on making life as hard as possible for themselves so they can get off on the idea of how special they are BUT in the context of the broader trilogy, some new perspectives you get later on as you meet new characters/quentin grows up some… i think there’s maybe an undercurrent of some similar point being made in the magicians though i’m not really sure how intentional grossman was being about it. and also you’re right about the magic systems being pretty similar re: the integration of so many different languages into the spellwork! though again i think novik is much MUCH more interested in the politics of language than grossman is

and also 3. lmaoooo i love it. quentin (to himself, about eliot): what this boy needs is a role model. a REAL MAN to show him what’s what. i can be that for him [is absolutely NOT capable of being a role model for anyone in the entire world; is also in spite of his efforts not even that much more successful at being a Traditionally Masculine Man than the guy actively trying to be as flamboyant as possible]

[pammei]

Our moms?!

Rindou Haitani x reader (chatfic) 

Chapter 1-3 from Our moms by pammeiwammei (me) on Wattpad

❥@Rindog has followed you.

'Rindou? Followed me?' I glare at my phone deciding if i should call hina or not. "Y/n, done with homework?" "Yes mom" She looks around "Oh by the way you know my new friend Sara? Well I met one of her sons and he goes to your school so I gave him your instagram."

Oh shit.

"Mom, why would you give my instagram to a stranger?!" I yelled at her thinking about what I'm gonna do in school tomorrow.

She looked at me with disappointment "Y/n watch your tone, and there's no harm in making new friends, is this about not wanting to be friends with guys?"

There she goes jumping into conclusions again. "No mom it's just he's not the nicest in my school okay?"

She just nodded and left

☕︎Instagram dms☕︎

❥Rindog: Yo y/n, seen ya around school but never talked to ya

❥Y/n_l/n: Um yeah.. Nice to meet you ig?

❥Rindog: No need to be so awkward i know imma lil intimating but i dont hurt girls

❥Y/n_l/n: Oh my bad for assuming

❥Rindog: all good👍

7:04 seen

❥@Randog has followed you.

'Oh shit, ran too?'

♡@Y/n_l/n has been added to group chat 'bros'♡

❥@Randog: Hey y/n its nice to meet ya ;)

❥@Y/n_l/n: Uh hi? Why was i added?

❥@Rindog: Ran wanted to meet ya Sorz for not askin before adding ya

'Why do they type like that tf'

❥@Randog: Its okay broski they shouldn't be offended over this LMAO

'Broski? BYE THE RED FLAGS'

❥@Y/n_l/n: Sorry my moms calling i gtg byebye.

❥@Rindog: See bro ya scared them away

☕︎Instagram dms☕︎

❥@Rindog: Hey sorry for ran he doesnt know how to talk to girls 4:28 seen Yo im real sorry if we offended ya 5:13 seen

❣︎ Meanwhile on the call with Hina and Emma:

"Why are they so desperate HELP" both I and Hina laugh at Emma's comment on the brothers.

"I don't know man but this whole thing is very suspicious, like how they keep dming me," I say as I try to clean my room "I mean it's funny how thirsty the popular guys are."

"Y/n, Sara just called and told me you've been ignoring her son." mom informs me as I try to hold my laugh

as soon as my mom left my room I look at the screen to see Emma and Hina looking like the skull emoji, then we all laughed so fucking hard I started choking.

"THEY-- REALlY TOLD THEIR- MOM PFFTTT." Emma said as we all started choking and snorting.

❣︎

@Y/n_l/n has added @drakens_bae4life, @Hina_Hanagaki to group chat 'bros'

❥@Randog: who the hell?

❥@drakens_bae4life: really? randog? 💀

❥@Randog: stfu

❥@Hina_Hanagaki: can yall not fight? 😕

❥@Randog can you shut up? 🥺

❥@Rindog: ran shut up for a second

❥@Randog: you a simp? │ ↳ ❥@Rindog: bro 💀  im just being nice bruh chill

♥︎@Randog is typing♥︎ ♡@Randog was kicked♡ ♡@drakens_bae4life was kicked♡ ♡@Hina_Hanagaki was kicked♡

❥@Rindog: y/n i understand that ran is an asshole sometimes hes just a lil messed in the head ya know? dont take the things he says to heart, he probs doesnt mean them just dont argue with him like if things go too far he might hurt you or your friends physically so just bear with him alr?

❥@Y/n_l/n: wow that kinda really nice of you to say thanks ill try but i am a little bit sensitive:(

❥@Rindog: completely understandable if anything he says or does bothers you just dm me ill deal with it Y/n reacted with a '❤︎' 5:48 seen

❣︎

"Y/n you're really quiet what's happening?" Hina asks,

"Rin's actually kinda nice.." I say awkwardly knowing it's gonna surprise them.

"who the fuck are you because you're not Y/n," Emma replied.

" Y/n, ARE YOU BLUSHING? GOODBYE GET SOME REST YOU NEED IT." Emma said and soon after left Hina also left not long after.

❥@Rindog: [link to a server]

❥@Y/n_l/n: sorryz i dont use discord 😋

❥@Rindog: want me to make ya an account?

❥@Y/n_l/n: forsure go ahead

❥@Rindog: user: bald ran#6969 password:ilovecatssm36

❥@Y/n_l/n: you like cats? nice

❥@Rindog: i mean sure but i just picked a random pass

❥@Y/n_l/n: logging in now ❤︎Read 10:19❤︎ As you log in you notice the two people in your friends list 'rindog#6969' and 'randawg#0690'. wow they really need new usernames.

☕︎Discord dms☕︎

❥Rindog: yo :wavingpenis:

❥bald ran: woah hi :catcrying: wait do i have the nitro thing or something?

❥Rindog: yeah thought ya might like it

❥bald ran: stop you didnt have tooooooo im gonna have to pay you back☹️

❥Rindog: NONO dont worry consider it a gift :)

☕︎Instagram groupchat: two married and one single person☕︎

❥@Y/n_l/n: EMMMA HINNAAAAAAAAAAJAJAHSHWHAHAU MEOWWQWWWWWWWWW

(Pretend you see the emotes.)MEOW RAWR MEOWMEOW

❥Hina: OH MY @EMMA LOOK ❥Emma: what? WHAT THE FUCK Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N REPLY RIGHT FUCKING NOW

❥Y/n: meow 🤭

❥Emma: y/n

❥Y/n: what

❥Emma: you downloaded discord for him? i thought you were over that app after your e dating phase🤨

❥Y/n: BUT HE MADE ME AN ACCOUNT I COULDNT SAY NO

❥Hina: also tell that ran bitch to go eat dick he was suck a dick to me last time😢

❥Y/n: yeah forsure hina

❥Emma: downloading discord rn i was talking to mikey about what happened and he said theres a toman server. drakens there

❥Hina: INVITE ME TOO

☕︎Discord dms: Randawg#0690☕︎

❥bald ran: eat dick (from my friend you argued with last time)

❥randawg: bitch what send addy rn pussyio

❥bald ran youre not scaring anyone LMAO

❥randawg: jeez ok😢

"Y/n Sara just called, im disappointed why would you ever be mean to my friends son?" aint no way "💀"

☕︎Discord dms: Rindog#6969☕︎

❥bald ran: can you and your brother stop telling your mom that im being mean to you guys, i cant play roblox for a week now

❥Rindog: ran did that?🤭

❥bald ran: yes

❥Rindog: brb beating him up

❥bald ran: alright cya goodnight:)

❥Rindog: oh youre sleeping already? goodnight:) ❤︎Reacted with ♡❤︎

[rabbithaver]

oh cool ive finally figured out what my role in this family is! since i am a lazy worthless fuck with no marketable skills and a PhD in bitching and moaning, i've been wondering why my dad hasnt kicked me out yet. well, thank god my dad decided to tell me! thanks to him, i now know that my role in the family is "person it's ok for me (dad) to verbally abuse and harass when im in a bad mood"

tw for suicide, abuse, just shitty fathers. he's not always shitty and i do love him, but when he sucks he really sucks

i came upstairs to get dinner and found my parents watching TV with the volume already cranked up to like 90. which is insane, even for us. i could hear it clearly from DOWNSTAIRS through the FLOORBOARDS. when i get upstairs, i asked politely if they could turn it down, and my dad immediately fucking bit my head off about it. treated me like less than dirt for even daring to ask. i was trying to be nice and he acted like i'd gone over to the TV and turned it off in the middle of what they were watching.

i explained i wanted it turned down because i haven't seen this season of Stranger Things yet. my dad basically said "nope, don't care. your mother can't hear it if it's any lower, so go fuck yourself." i would understand that line of reasoning, but they had the captions on, and i know for a FACT that my mom has been able to hear the TV when the volume is at like, half that,

he doesn't do this to anyone else. it's literally JUST me. i ask a simple question and if he feels like it, he'll chew me out and yell at me. if anyone else asks, he'll say he's not in a good mood and to leave him alone. no one else in the family gets treated like this. he genuinely doesn't care if he hurts me and he's never once apologized to me. i don't understand. why is it just me? is it because i'm a failure and a disappointment?

he just doesn't see me as a person worth respecting. he's never taken me seriously. in the past, when i was a suicidal teenager, i remember yelling during a breakdown, "you wouldn't even care if i k*lled myself!" and he actually laughed and said "No, I wouldn't. Why would I?"

yeah, why would you? what is there worthy of respect? i'm a disappointment in every single way. i'm an embarrassment to this family. i have failed every single thing i have ever tried. i couldn't even off myself properly. i couldn't do the bare minimum and graduate high school -- i'm the only person in the entire extended family not to meet the lowest bar possible.

it all makes perfect sense, but it still fucking hurts. it hurts twice as much because i still love him despite the way he treats me when he's moody

[nutal]

Okay, before i start to explain on what the HEIGH is going on inside my tiny little cranium of mine, the Adam angst (my headcanons) I invented is pretty much inspired by multiple stuff on tumblr, so it may not really be original + it may age as bad as milk (tho idk if it really matters, the angst was just made for fun and nothing else, im just here to share my imaginary scenarios with u + i started typing this whole ass paragraph essay at school + it may prob go against canon but these are just theories for fun soooo ye here we go)

T W: intense angst, may delve in some serious topics

Lemme start off my storytelling with the magical, splendid place that is so-called “The Garden of Eden” This is the place where Adam and Lilith were born from the very specks of dust (a very splendid way of saying that they just *POOF*, appeared out of nowhere).

Now since Adam and Lilith were God’s creation, it’s pretty obvious that the both of them would be prideful and childish, even if Adam and Lilith were created as adults (not really their fault, they were barely just created and are just babies in adult bodies about to be traumatized later on in life + they’re kinda in a forced marriage when u think about it)

While Adam (the dumbass) was like: “I do what I want UvU” in a dumbass, but funny way, Lilith was like: “I do what I want UnU” in a more subtle and feminine way.

I can just imagine Adam being like: “Yo, Lilith, I’m gonna climb up that tree bc i want to!” and Lilith being like: “Bro, no, you will literally fall off of it, because you don’t even know how to climb, you fucking dumbass.”

Adam climbs up the tree anyway and falls flat on his face and Lilith just face slaps herself bc Adam is a dummy.

One day, Adam and Lilith would meet the angel “Lucifer”, basically Luci wanted to visit the humans bc he was curious. Of course, the 2 would be really excited to meet Luci, and they would have a lot of fun together, playing games and such, especially Lilith, who basically all of her attention to Lucifer, ignoring Adam’s existence completely. Even to the point of ghosting Adam for days just to hang out with Lucifer. Adam would notice this, and decides to confront Lilith about this.

Adam keeps asking her why she has been so distant with him, but Lilith keeps denying, being like: “Dude, stop being so controlling! Mind your own business, and stop being so paranoid!”

Adam: “BRO, EVER SINCE YOU’VE HANGED OUT WITH LUCI, YOU’VE BEEN GONE FOR DAYS ON END WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME ANYTHING! ARE YOU NOW WITH LUCI OR SOME SHIT?!”

In a moment of absolute annoyance and fury, she snapped: “WELL, MAYBE I AM! HE’S SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU AND I LIKE HIM WAY MORE THAN I EVER LIKED YOU!”

At that moment, Adam was just… stunned. Those words coming from Lilith hurt deeply.. and i mean, REALLY deeply, not only because it hurt his ego, but he actually really liked Lilith, so hearing this, it really just, destroyed him.

Lilith: “I NEVER NEEDED YOU ANYWAY!” As Lilith fled from The Garden, Adam yelled at her in the distance, trying to hold back his tears: “I NEVER NEEDED YOU EITHER!”, turning his back to the opposite direction and crying silently.

After the incident, God decided to give Adam a second chance, in exchange for a rib (Adam’s rib), and created Eve. His second wife. Now Eve, Eve was a little more special. While Lilith was more upfront and independent, Eve was the opposite, being dependent and really sweet. At first, Adam would be cautious at first, but eventually, starts to fall in love again, in fact, he fell harder for Eve than Lilith.

Lilith’s abandonment pretty much caused him to not only be really protective towards Eve, but also more affectionate and caring. Cherishing her more than his first wife. He was happy again.. at least for a while.

You see, in The Garden of Eden, there was a mysterious tree, to which there was something whom God warned Adam and Eve not to taste from: “The Fruit of Knowledge”. Not only did it grant free will to whoever takes a bite from the apple itself, but also show them the difference between right and wrong.

Eve, being as sweet as she was, was also very curious about the apple, but Adam would always warn her NOT to eat the apple. Ever. Eve would beg him to let her take at least take one bite from it, and maybe even Adam taking a bite too, to which Adam always said: “No.”

Eve: “Please?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “Pleeaassee?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “Plllleeeeeaaaasseee?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “PlleeEEEEAASSEE?”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS”

Adam: “No.”

Eve: “PLS PLS PLS-“

Adam: “NO.”

Eventually, one day, Adam would wake up to see that Eve was not next to him. He starts having a panic attack and tries desperately to look for her. Meanwhile, Eve just decided to stay next to a tree, being pretty upset that Adam wouldn’t let her taste the apple.

Then, Lucifer and Lilith see Eve. In Lilith’s mind, Eve is another victim of Adam’s controlling behavior, like her. So, to help her out, she tells Lucifer to give Eve The Fruit of Knowledge. Luci agrees, and shows Eve the apple.

Eve gets really enthusiastic, and despite Adam’s warnings, her curiosity got the best of her, and eats the Apple.

When Adam finds her, it’s already too late, Eve already ate the apple. Adam would be mortified to not only seeing Eve eating the apple, but also seeing his first wife, Lilith, and Lucifer. Eve immediately realized her grave mistake, but then basically, the roots of sin would reach earth and humanity as a whole, and from there, God would tell her that she’s banished from Eden and she falls down to earth… but then realizes.. that Adam fell with her.. even is he hasn’t ate the apple, he still decided to fall with her.

After Adam and Eve have fallen from Eden, they pretty much had to struggle to survive and it wasn’t easy. They had to actually hunt down for food, even killing some animals in the process unwillingly. Eve would start to become really bitter and cold with him. Adam also noticed this, but not wanting to lose Eve like he lost Lilith, he wouldn’t confront her like he did with her. But eventually, she leaves him aswell. Adam would desperately try to find her to no avail. He would start breaking down, his world would start spinning. Feeling as if.. as if he wasn’t good enough for anything… for ANYBODY… that he’s worthless… and has no purpose. Eventually he would die because of starvation and grief…

Then.. he wakes up to see that he’s… in the middle of nowhere. He notices that now, he has golden-like wings and a halo on top of his head. A tall silhouette would appear, revealing to be none other than “Sera”.

Obviously, Adam would be cautious at first, but the Seraphim would tell him: “Greetings, The First Man. I’m Sera, the High Seraphim. Congratulations for being the first human soul to arrive up in heaven!”

Adam would be surprised, but then ask: “Huh?.. wha?..But, what I am doing here..?”

Sera: “I’ll show you, follow me.”

Adam still being gullible as.. heaven? (PUN) would follow Sera, all the way to a… room. Then, Sera would show him his robes and his, uh, exorcist army (that just *POOF*, appeared just for his role), but.. most importantly.. his LED mask.

Sera: “You are now promoted as the Leader of the Exorcists, Adam.”

Adam would put on the robes, still not really knowing what’s going on, but he just accepted it. Then, Sera would explain to him in more details about what he’s supposed to do in his specific role (basically saying that he has a harem army of killing machines, that kill Lucifer’s and Lilith’s citizens [sinners] every year to quote on quote ‘protect heaven’, but saying it in a splendid way)

And.. this made Adam feel.. absolutely empowered, being able to take revenge on Lilith and Lucifer by exterminating sinners in hell every year, …and.. in his own twisted sense of mind.. he was able to have a purpose again…right? He eagerly puts the mask on, without even questioning whether this was even right or not, for he doesn’t even know the difference between right and wrong. (Nightmare moon phase coming up rq)

And because he felt.. like he had a purpose again, thinking that.. maybe he still had importance to someone or something, he truly respected Sera, and never even DARED to question Heaven.. bc thats basically his purpose.. and if he questioned it, its kinda game over.

The kinda disturbing part about this is that, if he didn’t eat the apple, that would mean he doesn’t have free will. Which basically, he didn’t even choose to do this kind of thing, he just went to heaven by default and becomes the leader bc ‘he dah first man’ without him actually having any kind of saying to this. Kinda like a puppet on strings, if you think about it. (but it’s a game theory so i digress)

Also like, considering that angels and winners probably just showered him with blind praise, not even really addressing his actual issues, so basically, his deep emotional wounds barely got any kind of healing (if not even more), and his narcissism (being his possible coping mechanism after just drowning in negative emotions for so long bc heaven doesn’t even really care for him that much) continued to grow stronger and stronger, until it was basically his other identity. Basically kinda like Nightmare moon, where Luna basically drowned in resentment and became Nightmare moon, Adam drowns in the negative emotions of “not being good enough”, so he creates some kind of ‘shield’ to protect himself from ever getting hurt deeply again.

I remember when I watched JaidenAnimations video: Why I don’t have a “face reveal”. That video alone.. it basically made me realize that people could be struggling without even having the slightest realization of what’s going on. This also reminded me of Adam, then I thought that.. maybe,.. maybe Adam also feels kinda the same way as Jaiden, lemme explain further:

So, in JaidenAnimations video, she basically explains on how her standards became so high that she was TERRIFIED of ever having a face reveal bc she had a deep fear of disappointing everyone around her. (I still thank u Jaiden, hope u doin well bro, i love ya 👍👍)

There could be a possibility that, Adam may have had such high standards for how he needed to look, since he didn’t really looked like other angels, he just looked like a normal guy, that it became an insecurity for him and he basically just hides his face with his LED mask, terrified of what others may think of his actual face.

god, this took a whole DAY to write this and i may have still not executed my ideas well, or may have missed some ideas cause i forgot, but hey i tried, im gonna take a breath bro- *inhales oxigen tank intensely*

OH MY GOD THIS IS CRAZYYY YOO HOLD ON??? Dude omg yes yes i def agree he would fall WAYYYY harder for Eve than Lilith and I absolutely see what you mean that Adam and Lilith were like a forced marriage type situation cuz i mean yeah they literally did LOL. Adam for sure genuinely cared for Eve though, they had something a lot more special and I can only imagine how badly that must’ve hurt for Adam when she ate the apple and left after him begging her to NOT do that!

And yes yes YES him feeling empowered after becoming head of the exorcists being able to take revenge in that way like RAAAGHGHGEHH HELL YEAH!!

And I have ALWAYS been a huge believer in Adam using his narcissism as a coping mechanism from the very start. Like that just seems very on point and canon to me. Because this man is very clearly insecure, you can just tell. Especially with the whole mask thing, which I’ve actually brought up in the past. But yeah, this dude does not like people seeing his face. He def def DEF feels very average or even below that so he covers up for it through constantly flaunting about how great he is n shit so that nobody’ll suspect a thing.

THANK YOU FOR THIS ESSAY BTW I LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT AND AGREEEE!

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 10 Transmission (Kwami’s Choice Part 1)

(Spoilers below)

-Okay so Marinette is hella depressed. I think this is the morning after Elation

-Wow she sounds so done

-Honestly summed up Adrien never started, Luka couldnt have started, and Chat noir shouldnt have started.

-Girl quoted her theme song and dissed herself. Damn

-And before I see posts saying she shouldnt be so focused on her love life... She is 13 f*** off

-Alya’s message was ignored by Marinette because she really in the dumps. And tikki saw the second call from Adrien and was like “Yea... she wouldnt want that call right now”

-EVEN THE VOICE MAIL IS DEPRESSED!

-Well Bustier is really showing the baby bump now

-Nino helping alya wing woman. Now thats cute

-Adrien blames himself specifically chat noir for Marinette feeling bad. And Plagg is like “Yea pretty much”

-Adrien realizing the consequences of his actions

-She took down all the photos of adrien. Not to be that guy, but if the is was about all her failed love life, luka’s photos would be removed to. Just saying

-Adrien really going up there to try and cheer her up. Boy knows what she is going through (and is mainly at fault for it)

-Look this angst is absolutely delicious and I am eating it up...

-How can they not hear the kwami. Plagg literally yelled

-Marinette was about to tell him... but then the trashcan

-I mean... we know he has seen the photos but seeing them in the trash... baby boy no

-Adrien just confessed! Damn! That is an angry yet touching confession. Boy is pissed the girl he loves is hating on herself. Dude... I can relate. (Ah memories of teen angst)

-She turned him down. Ouch.

______________________________________________________________

-oh look its zoe. After all the angst she is ... certainly a person to see

-Did they seriously throw a party without them even there?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

-Im sorry but no. I do not need to see this right now.

-Wow... Alya your brain cells are like negative right now. You should PROBABLY check before you think a party is a good idea.

-Zoe being the only one with a brain cell right now. The rest of the class I get... they sort of have horde mentality when the plot is involved.

-And Nora be calling. I wonder why

__________________________________________________________________

-And now just rubbing salt in the wounds

-Boy be depressed.

-And now its monarch. Because only when he can exploit his son does he actually care

-Wait... oh he didnt. Well it isnt the first time he didnt do it. He only tries to akumatize adrien when he knows he is chat noir. So I guess not as big of a prick as you could have been Gabe

-Plagg is like “My boy is destroying himself over this. Fu was wrong to do this”

-Plagg suggesting they find new holders for themselves to save them.

_____________________________________________________________________

-Zoe continuing to show that she is the only one with a braincell.

-286 days since adrien came to school?

-Wait a f***ing minute. IT HASNT BEEN A YEAR? ITS ONLY BEEN 9 MONTHS. WHAT THE S*** ASTRUC

-Adrien is depressed and his mom is checking up on him. (I mean Nathalie)

-And now they realize that their party was a dumb idea

-Nathalie sees Gabriel and is already in Mama Bear mode

-Gabriel... what are you planning?

-Did he just come in here to give him an alliance ring?

-Lila heart ache rating? Gabriel... what the s***

-YOU PIECE HUMAN FECAL MATTER! THIS WAS ALL TO GIVE HIM AN ALLIANCE RING AND MAKE HIM A DEADLIER AKUMA. YOU INSUFFERABLE SAKE OF SHIT! I AM GLAD YOU ARE DYING AND I HOPE EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE EXISTS AS PURE AGONY FROM THE CATACLYSM.

-The Kwami! The kwami took back the miraculous. I mean i knew they would cause spoilers but... damn. This hurt more than expected

-That mother f***er. YOU WOULD AKUMATIZE YOUR OWN SON!?

-Adrien realizes he has a chance now. Boy is going to try! And it ruined his father’s plans

-But now Marinette and Adrien arent feeling the crushing burden of their hero lives.

-Like I feel like they would still be depressed for a bit longer... But that is just me

-Guy is wearing 5 rings at once? Like why that many?

-He realized he forgot to give her the homework. And sees she is in better spirits. A good sign

-She cant say it. She is trying to say she loves him. But she struggling. I think it might be a mental block or something at this point

-The parents went to go check and they both realized what was happening and Immediately went back down. Now if it were me. That door stays open. I dont care if the boy is literal sunshine. No closed doors when boys are over. But enough about parenting. Back to the adorablw

-Okay the hand thing was cute. Also... was the music for this show ALWAYS this on point?

-THEY CANON! THEY KNOW! BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE!!!!

-Party turned back into a strategy meeting

-Wait.... Is his name Boubi. What did Nora do?

-OMG THATS HILARIOUS!

-Tikki and Plagg shopping for holders

-DAMN IT! NOW WE WILL NEVER GET CAT NINO! I HATE THIS

-Okay while I am not crazy about Nino getting shafted. I do find it funny that Plagg sees a blond yell at people and is like “Yep, thats my next holder”

-HE JUST THREW THE RING AT HER!

-look at him!

-At least Tikki talked to alya first.

-Though in hindsight, Tikki is being  dumb. Marinette Knows that Alya was Scarabella. So she would know Alya was Ladybug. Would that be smart?

-Okay Alya, i will forgive your stupidity earlier in the episode

-Wait... is he giant now?!

-So he has rocket fists

-Okay so... yea I am still not sold on Cat!Zou’s look. I hate the lips stick. And How come SHE can have yellow eyes but Ladynoir couldnt have blue?

-Man, Imagine getting to be new heroes and your first bad guy has 5 miraculous powers plus his own giant size and rocket fists

-Wait... Did he resist CATACLYSM?! OHHHHH... He got the bull miraculous too

-Now he can multipy!

-Im confused... whats the plan?

-Ah yes, the firemen are the real heroes

-OH I GET IT. MAKE HIM BLIND SO HE BRINGS THE SHIELD DOWN. Clever

-Well played

-Wait... why does this guy look like a mix of Blingbling boy and Mr.T?

-Adrien and Marinette had a cute moment

-Oh no... Zoe and Alya had their Alliances on them. Well s***

______________________________________________________________________

so for part one.

I will say I enjoyed every scene involving Marinette and Adrien in it. It was precious and now they canon!.

Outside of that it was... well mid.

Gabriel proved he deserves death

Alya’s mental capacity was questioned.

Zoe’s personality seems to be Only braincell in existence

And the cliff hanger was kind of expected but not in a bad way.

That being said

6.5/10

More pros then cons but it is probably the episode I had the least enjoyment of outside of the Adrinette

[stargazer0001]

there is something deeply wrong with me but I dont know what it is

like bestie im not talented im traumatized. Im not wasting a gift im trying to keep myself from plunging a knife in my chest and bleeding out in my bed. Like void, please shut the fuck up.

but then when other people vent to me, even if I TRY to care, I just dont. Like im sorry. I want you to feel better. But wtf am I meant to do. Like sorrows, sorrows, but I cant even deal with my own emotions what makes you think I can help with yours???????? And then I TRY. I TRY to help knowing that I cant, I TRY to care even though I dont, I TRY to make it known that I want them to feel loved and cared for, but nothing works. And then I feel like a piece of shit who deserves to rot away in a corner for all eternity!!!

Oh and speaking of rotting away, SCHOOL. I can't pay attention. Like if its not interesting I just zone out and start questioning my reality. And then im like 'wtf are we doing now'. Its actual torture what. And when I TRY to pay attention and actually LEARN I literally just end up drawing on my paper or my mind starts to wander. BUT THEN THE FUCKING THINGS MY TEACHERS ARE SAYING MAKE NO SENSE!! LIKE GIRLIE HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT TO DO IF YOU DIDN'T TAKE ME THROUGH A THOROUGH STEP MY STEP PROCESS HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THIS. And then I DONT SPEAK UP BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER HAVE MY HAND CHOPPED OFF THEN SPEAK TO A TEACHER. Like. Then, everyone else seems to immediately understand everything?? Some people talk back to teachers??? Some people WANT to talk to teachers??? Who are you and how. Oh and then my classmates??? Literally horrible. I want them to die. Thankfully i have a couple friends in my classes which makes it a bit more bearable, but NO KEENAN OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS, STOP DANCING AND SCREAMING, STOP BEING SO UNBEARABLE, STOP BEING A DICK. LIKE DUDE I BET YOU DONT EVEN GOT ONE. LITERALLY STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE. And its this one certain friend group who is actually the WORST. Like im TRYING to pay attention and then all of a sudden one of these kids starts yelling at another, stuff is thrown, and nothing gets done. BUT THEN THE TEACHERS DO NOTHING. THEY DONT CARE. BUT THEN WHEN SOMEBODY ELSE TALKS EVEN ONCE ITS IMMIDIATELY PRINCIPLES OFFICE???? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST KILL ME.

oh and then out of school isn't even better at all. I just want to waste away in my room. Everything always hurts and I just want to be with friends but I know that nobody can or wants to hang out with a sad waste of oxygen like me. And then when im trying to go to bed I just hear the crashing of glass, my parents having a screaming match, and then my mom going back to drinking her sorrows away while my dad continues to try and sleep. Like please im so tired just let me go into my happy place and attempt to die in my sleep. And then whenever its even around 6:00 my mom immediately starts acting drunk even if she's had nothing so what the fuck is up with that. And then she tries to gaslight me into doing things??? Like at this point im immune. I dont even give any fucks anymore because I tried doing that and it just got me hurt. So why even care anymore. So what the fuck is the point in trying to live laugh love when I just wanna off myself. Like no. Die cry hate is my new motto at this point.

and then, to top it all off, if I try venting ANYTHING to the one person I know who understands, he just asks 'oh, is it your time of the month?'

like please just kill me at this point. Take me out of the hell called living. Im so close to just dying please help.

[sardonic-sprite]

I'm Back!

Wow, so Lent is over now, so my tumblr fast is also over and I'm still a little in shock, lol. I had hoped the past six weeks? I don't know, Time is weird, would be more productive but at least I got SOME stuff written/posted. Anyway, I have one more month of school and then fucking FINALS so expect sporadic updates at idiot-o-clock hours of the night, and maybe yell at me to sleep, eat, study, or drink water whenever i do post 😅

I am up to SO EFFING MANY wips rn on so many different fronts you guys have no freaking idea 😭 so here's a status report for EVERYTHING on or going on sardonic_sprite. (Its gonna be a monster post, y'all, bear with me)

in absolutely no particular order:

Wayne4Ham: We have a LONG way to go with this one, so just be patient and I'll slowly but steadily plug on through. Aaron Burr, Sir, should theoretically take me no longer than end of april

Wayne-Crazy: there's like 4 specific requests on it, plus a few 'series' i started, but after those, say 6-7, i'll probably mark as complete and only re-open if someone offers me an idea

Batman Beginners: i'll tell y'all up front, this one will take me forever. i don't even know what all I intend to cover, but know that i'm halfway done with the DITF arc, and it'll probably come out in the next two months

Just A Kid: this was my shits-and-giggles fic that got like 3000 notes in a weekend lmao. it's something i do intend to continue bc its so fun and i enjoy the concepts in it, but i don't have plans to actively write more of it in the immediate future.

Rev Wayne: just gave y'all Jason's fic, so the next probably won't come until late in summer, extrapolating from my few data points. if anyone has ideas for timmy's intro, let me know, i'd love some inspiration

Celeb Batwaynes: reported separate from wayne-crazy for reasons. i think theres like 12 specific requests plus 2 ideas of my own. i may put out a poll for the next one to write, but not until after school's out, because these fics are HUGE time-eaters for me. speaking of, are non-tumblr-users able to vote on polls?

Welcome to Gotham U: this was again, me doing shit bc why not. will probably add more in the style that i first posted, but i doubt i will write any prose for it. if you would like to give it a try, please reach out, i'd love to see what you write!

One Diamond: every time i touch this i make the cliffhanger worse lmao. i finally do have a direction, but execution is gonna have to wait a while.

The Young, Innocent, and Righteous: this is mostly just for me anyway, but i'm just gonna say that i'm waiting until i finish watching miraculous season 5 before i go any further

AS you wish: i have 5 more requests to do and i am so sorry to everyone waiting you do not deserve this lmao. i promise im trying, i love your ideas, it just takes me a really long time to fill in the rest and then actually write it. the next one on my list is particularly hard to pin down and so it's halting the ones behind it to. if not before, then after finals i will sit and bang my head on the keyboard until something good comes out

Light Isn't Fadin': soooooo many people have asked me about this one oof. SOMEDAY, i swear. right now its a huge, nebulous, hulking monster and im sorry it's just not happening yet.

A christmas carol: wait until december. please

Father's Day: june.

A Little Problem: over the summer, i will watch marvel movies until they once again hijack my brain and fuel this to completion. maybe.

easter eggs: how the fuck did i forget this lmao. i'm doing as much as i can in april, but when the month is done, i'm sorry, we'll all be waiting until next lenten season. hopefully it won't come to that.

aaaaand i THINK that's finally it. there's also a bunch of random paragraphs in word and google docs that may appear, not to mention ideas that kidnap me in dark alleys. but i also have like a good half dozen other wips for other places that im trying to attend to, so please be forgiving if it seems like its taking a while to post something as sprite.

as always, i love questions, comments, concerns, even some complaints, so feel free to interact.

See ya when I see ya!

sprite

[theres-bugs-in-my-brain]

Dude

I’m so fucking close

In like two months I’ll be done

I’ll be out of this fucking hell hole of a high school

And I hope I can get out of this house

I want to leave and never look back

But god

Oh god dude I wish

I wish my entire high school experience wasn’t wasted on this fucking cult

Growing up in the Mormon church as been living hell

I missed out on so much just having to survive

I still remember shit of having to constantly be afraid of my own well being because I didn’t know if my family was safe, the people at church where safe, if my own friends where safe

Dude my parents OH MY FUCKING GOD dude they home schooled me for middle school then signed me up for a fucking Mormon private school taking their online course

I was so fucking isolated from anyone outside the fucking church

It was wake up, go to seminary at 5 FUCKING 30 AM, than listen to your classes talking about Jesus and how you can find him in every subject there is, after that go to a church activity, still have some time? How about we invite the MISSIONARIES over for a small FUCKING DINNER PARTY.

THIS WAS MY LIFE FOR YEARS

Im an atheist

I’m gay

I’m trans

I’m half Mexican

The treatment I’ve mostly gotten has been micro aggressions at best and physical/sexual assault at worst

I will never know what it’s like to just be a normal kid because of the people that preach they want “kids to just be kids” 

IF YOU FUCKING WANTED THAT THEN YOU COULDVE JUST LEFT ME ALONE

It’s so fucking shitty

Ever since I was outed at the age of 12 or 11 it’s been hell

At first I was fine because I still had my best friend that supported me

It was funny even

You’d be minding your business, then someone would try to talk you out of being gay, try to argue why it’s wrong, get mad at you for being gay. You’d fight back

Laugh at them with ur friends. Poke the bear with a stick

Then the tide would shift

Suddenly they didn’t try to pray the gay away, they weren’t trying to argue you out of it

Now they saw you as a threat

A threat to their friends’ sexuality, a threat to their kids’ sexuality, a threat to their own sexuality.

They where more aggressive

Often yelling at out, picking on you, singling you out, even threats that they love to call jokes

But that’s okay,

You’ll hold your head high

Stand your ground

you won’t swallow your pride

so you’ll fight with your words

And if they decided they didn’t want to play with words

Then you’d fight with every tooth and nail you have

You’d be very really win a fight

Like ever

They usually get broken up by adults or they’d get the upper hand and stop when they’re bored

A rare occurrence actually having to fight

But it changes you

Before you where creepy

Now you try to be off putting, to appear as batshit crazy as you can

But it’s okay because when it gets too much you go to your friends

Then

The tide shifts again

Your friends are closer to other friends than before

They stop hanging out

Then the excuses come

“My dad thinks you might be making me gay. Sorry. Yeah I’m going to have to block you.”

“My mom said if your mom weren’t friends with her, that she wouldn’t let me hang out with you, can we maybe stop hugging?”

“Being gay is one thing, but being trans is a bit much. You’ve always been a girl and i can’t see you any other way.”

“Are you just trying to be a guy so girls can like you more? That’s really creepy.”

And the worst of all you best friend

“I just think marriage should stay between a man and a woman.”

“But you said that you’d support gay marriage despite what your parents say. Your aunt is gay, and you’re a witch.”

“changed my mind.”

Now it’s harder to hold your head high

To stand your ground

You start to retreat

You cant appear normal for the life of you

But now you laugh at their jokes

You play along with them

Make yourself small

You’ll expire soon

It doesn’t matter

You promised

You took away life now it’s your turn

But you can never actually mange to do it

Then your friend finds out

He makes you stay

You decided to brake that promise but now it’s too late

Now your sister knows

You make another promise

Before you know it there’s too many promises to brake

They watch you like a hawk

Make sure you get better

But it doesn’t erase the fact that they pushed to here

You’re at this point because of them

And now it’s less than three months from graduation

You’ll never have a real high school experience

You’ll never be able to be a real teenager

You’ll never be able to be a real teen boy

What are you going to do about it

You graduate in less than three months

Can you make it to crawl out of this hell hole?

Or will you lay there in the grime you’re so well acquainted with?